Rex was never able to stay asleep for long in bacta. He had too much pent-up energy. The sedatives left him numb and a little high, but not fully unconscious. As the hours passed, he grew increasingly restless and stared out through the murky blue, knowing he'd be stuck in here for hours yet.
He carefully tested his limbs. He was healing rapidly. His chest twinged and tingled uncomfortably as broken ribs and burnt tissues forcibly regenerated. But, he'd be back to fighting form in no time.
This was the first downtime he'd had since he'd left the Andoan moon. It's not the downtime he would have chosen. He'd prefer to be walking the decks of the ship and checking on the men. Or, perhaps, sitting in the mess hall and sharing a cup of caf with brothers he thought he'd never see again. He tried to ignore all the worries that intruded into his thoughts. Did the ship even have a mess hall? Could clones eat the same food as Kaz'harians? Wait- was there even caf on the ship? He tamped down his frustration at not being able to take charge and ensure the men were alright.
Staring out into the murky blur of the bacta reminded him of the Andoan ocean on a tranquil day. The ocean was fascinating and Rex quickly discovered it was a good place to lose himself in his thoughts. He had good memories from his time on Ando and he'd left the Legion there in good hands. As long as they weren't discovered, the reconditioned clones would be safe there. The sedatives eventually dragged him back under and he fell asleep wondering how Travis and Catcher were faring. According to Travis, they'd stolen appropriated several ships to bring back with them to what Rex had come to think of as "the clone planet."
He groggily woke up again after an unknown period of time. He hoped he'd slept long enough it was time to get out of the tank. His eyes flicked around the medbay until he located a chrono. The Kazzies spoke an obscure language that his HUD had been unable to translate during the battle. But, their chronos seemed to be based on Galactic Standard Numerics. He stared at the chrono, willing the numbers to move faster.
Eh... this is no good. Staring at the chrono only means I can be precisely bored down to the millisecond.
I should be focusing on the work I need to do when I get out of here. I'll need a cover story to explain my two-month absence without mentioning the other decommissioned survivors. After I met Cut, I was able to fill out the reports so I didn't mention him at all. I can do the same here.
He ran the story through his head, again and again, memorizing the words to perfection. His cover story had to be flawless.
His gut twinged, not from pain, but from that odd sense that told him things were going to happen slightly before they actually did. His eyes flicked up to the entrance of the medbay just as Ahsoka walked in. She immediately met his gaze and smiled before tilting her head to nod at Kix. She walked up to the bacta tank and placed a hand on the outside. Rex wanted to reach toward her hand, but he had very limited control of his limbs thanks to the numbing sedatives. They looked back and forth at each other with both fondness and a little sadness.
His relationship with Ahsoka had changed from friendship into something... more. Rex knew he wanted more with Ahsoka, but nothing had changed. No, that wasn't true. In reality, it felt like everything had changed during the time had been away. He'd changed and had now seen more clones in successful relationships with women. He had seen the way Travis looked at Karyn on Ando. and Hok couldn't stop talking about Xyra. Catcher was quiet and conservative in speaking about his relationship with Ashla, but he was undeniably a changed man from the one who'd first crashlanded on the planet with them. He'd blossomed into so much more.
Rex knew what he wanted.
And, he knew he could not have it. They were headed at hyperspace speeds back to their life of being "the Captain and the Commander."
# # #
It was insane to attempt brain surgery outside of a fully equipped medfacility. But, her master's condition continued to deteriorate. Barriss had always been gifted when it came to the healing arts. It was a specialized skill only a few Jedi possessed. Most could only master rudimentary healing. But, even with her advanced healing skills and training, she could not undo all the damage done to her master.
Two clone medics from the 212th, Digger and Glitch, consulted with her in hushed tones, as they looked at scans of her Master's head injury.
"We need to take pressure off her cerebrum or General Unduli won't make Coruscant," Digger said.
Barriss nodded in agreement, knowing they were taking a huge risk with the procedure. But, it was her Master's only chance of surviving a few more days. As the clone medics prepped her master for surgery, Barriss did what she could to help her master into a deep healing trance. It would augment the efforts of the clone medics. She worked alongside Digger and Glitch, using her powers to stop a sudden bleeder in the brain. It was a long procedure and the effort exhausted Barriss. She called upon her reserves so she could continue on.
Several hours later, Glitch straightened up and declared the procedure over. Digger wrapped the General's head in several layers of bandages while Glitch turned to Barriss. "It worked. Pressure levels have dropped considerably. I have to make my rounds, but I'll be back." He departed with a quick salute and a respectful dip of his chin. "Commander."
Barriss nodded, settling into a comfortable stance so she could meditate. At some point, someone found her a chair and encouraged her to sit. It was too large, and not much better than standing. But, she accepted the seat and found she could sit somewhat comfortably if she didn't try to get her legs to touch the floor. She curled her legs under her robes in a classic meditation starting pose. The Jedi referred to this position as the Lotus pose, named after a Jedi elder who apparently brought the pose into common Jedi practice. As she settled in, her muscles relaxed and she was asleep almost immediately. She awoke sometime later and found her master was improved, resting comfortably in the healing trance, and not likely to wake up anytime soon.
Ditch came by with two drink cups and pressed one into her hands. "I was getting myself some caf and grabbed you a cup. Although," his brow furrowed with puzzlement, "do Jedi even drink caf?"
"We do when it's all that's available. Thank you. Very thoughtful." She gave a grateful nod to the medic and took a cautious sip. It was scalding hot and tasted nothing like the usual caf served on Republic cruisers. She coughed and sputtered. "This is caf?"
Ditch laughed. "Kazzie caf. It is either the source of their great strength as warriors or the root cause of their anger issues. The caffeine content is very high. We've been watering it down, but it's still... eh... potent. Glitch says the stuff is so strong it could have medical applications. I think it might be better used to remove carbon scarring."
Barriss chuckled, too. "Or, maybe we've discovered an alternative source of fuel for starships."
Glitch laughed and gave her a surprised look as if shocked Jedi could make jokes, too. "Well, it's all we have on board this ship. But, as a medic, I've been warning the men not to drink too much of the stuff."
Barriss took another cautious sip. It wasn't bad once she got used to it. They quietly sipped their drinks together, both gazing at the monitoring screen for her Master.
"I have no idea what most of that says," Glitch added. "But, from what I can tell, the General is doing a lot better."
"She is," Barriss agreed immediately, "her body is healing itself now. Thank you for your efforts."
"I was only doing my job, ma'am." His eyes took on a teasing glint. "Since you have confidence in my abilities, you should get out of here for a while. I'll monitor the General."
Barriss was reluctant to leave, but she needed to replenish her strength if she was to further help her master. "Alright, then," Barriss nodded, "Thank you. You're a fine medic."
Glitch beamed at the praise, but then the teasing look was back. "I am a fine medic. Thank you for noticing."
Barriss smiled in return and realized with both a warmth and a pang the clones were starting to treat her like one of their own.
# # #
Barriss sat alone in the large mess hall, staring out one of the viewports. It had taken her a long time of wandering the halls to finally find the designated eating facility. She should have thought to ask the clone medic for directions. No matter. She was here now. She let her thoughts drift, reflecting on the battle just passed. But, she'd be lying to herself, if she'd didn't admit her thoughts didn't keep straying back to one clone in particular.
"You going to finish that fruit, or perform some sort of Jedi ritual on it?"
Barriss looked up, startled, and then recognized the clone Cody often used as a sounding board. "Hello Trapper."
The clone grinned, pleased she had recognized him. He pointed to her plate. "Not hungry? You seem to be more mashing your food than eating it." Without waiting for an invitation, he slid into the chair across from Barriss. "I wouldn't eat the red fruit." He said, pointing to her plate. "They have a nasty way of twisting in the gut. Scans say they're edible, but we clones say otherwise." He leaned in and his voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. "I say it's the Kazzies way of getting their revenge."
Barriss chuckled. She looked at the fully loaded plate of fruit in front of Trapper, noticing there were red fruits in the mix. She raised up a questioning eyebrow.
"Oh, these aren't for me," he explained. "I was just on my way to bring a plate to Cody." He shrugged and gave a devilish grin. "Hey, he needs to find out about these things for himself."
Barriss burst out laughing, wondering if she would ever understand clones and their intricate bonds between them.
Trapper grinned again, obviously pleased with himself he'd made her laugh. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "If you have the time, Commander, could you deliver these to Cody ? He's in his quarters. I'm due back on the bridge. We're short-staffed."
"Of course," Barriss said, trying to ignore the way her pulse beat faster at what was surely only a routine request from Trapper. The scout pulled out his datapad and pointed into what looked to be a hand-drawn map of the ship. He quickly pointed out the important parts and then gave her directions to Cody's quarters. Barriss nodded and departed immediately in search of Cody. She hurried through the corridors, trying to ignore the way her heart was beating faster.
I'm just helping out. Nothing more.
Trapper's directions were easy-to-follow, although it was a considerable walk to reach the crew quarters area. The Kaz'harians seemed to do everything on a grand scale. This ship was at least double the size of an Acclimator. But, she found Cody's quarters without getting lost. Her master often insisted she memorize maps and the skill was serving her well now. She couldn't find anything related to a door chime, so she wrapped her knuckles against the durasteel plating of the door.
"Come in Trap."
Barriss took a step closer and the automatic door sensor activated, sliding the sturdy door into the wall. The room was only partially lit, and as Barriss' eyes adjusted, she noted that Cody was reclining against pillows on an oversized bunk. His chest armor was off and his bodysuit was opened up. He had a large heat pack slung over one of his shoulders.
The clone commander sat up, his eyes widening in surprise. "Barriss." The way he said her name in his deep voice affected her in a way that was surely unbecoming to a Jedi. She should leave. She just needed to hear him say her name once more. It would be enough, and then she could go.
Cody's voice was cool and professional. "Commander, is there something I can help you with?"
It stung to be addressed by him with such cool professionalism, but then again, they hadn't parted on the best of terms.
Barriss flushed furiously. "I…" She stood awkwardly, the oversized plates feeling heavy in her hands. She shook her head. "I shouldn't be here. I'm sorry." She spied an oversized desk. "I'll leave this and go." She hurried across the room. This has been a mistake. She should've found someone else to deliver the meal.
"No, Barriss... wait." Cody rose quickly and then hissed. His hand slid up to his shoulder, an area covered with extensive bruising.
The healer part of Barriss warred with her instinct to flee. But, the bruising could be indicative of a deeper underlying injury. She set down the plate and moved to his side. "What happened here?" She pressed her fingers lightly against his chest.
Cody started at her light touch and stared down at her fingers touching him. A torrent of emotion came off of him at the touch, before he closed himself off to her. Sadness. Anger. Longing. Regret. He shook his head and cursed. "You're right. You should go."
The stubborn part of Barriss kicked in. "I assume you haven't seen a medic yet?"
Cody 'hmmmped.' "They're busy down there. Trapper found me this heat pack in a storeroom." He frowned at the large pad on his shoulder. "At least, I think it's meant to be used as a heat pack. We're not exactly sure what it is."
There was something in his tone that indicated he was as torn as she. He wanted her to go. But, he also wanted her to stay.
Technically, I'm still Cody's assigned healer until I get new duties from the Jedi Council. So, staying here only means I'm obeying the wishes of the Council.
She sat down on the edge of his bed and pushed the heat pack aside she could better see the injury.
Cody's eyes followed the path of her hands. "Can you fix it?" He 'hmmphed' to himself in amusement. "What am I saying? Of course you can fix it."
His faith in her abilities was humbling.
She closed her eyes and reached down into the Force, feeling for the source of the injury, even as her hands brushed over the area. "Your shoulder is partially dislocated. I can heal it, but I'll need to work on the muscles around it first. Face the wall so I can work on your back." She rooted around in the pockets of her Jedi belt before finding the bottle of medi-lotion she carried everywhere.
Cody shifted position without argument. "I recognize that smell."
"You should," she rubbed a small amount on her hands, "it's a derivative of ryll and geldbitter salve. It has muscle relaxant and anti-inflammatory properties. This is what I used on you on Ord Cestus."
Cody groaned, although Barriss told herself it was only because she was pushing on a particularly stubborn muscle knot. (And, not because Cody was thinking of their time together on the medical station.) She definitely wasn't thinking about it. She was definitely not thinking he'd regained all of the muscle mass he'd lost when he was injured. And, she was definitely not thinking about what it felt like to grip his back as he lay atop her and-
Barriss pushed memories of OrdCestus away and focused on healing his injury. Cody's head dropped naturally as she began to work out knotted muscles. She closed her eyes, focusing intently on her healing. She searched out the fiery inflammation surrounding the battered tissues. She worked closer and closer to the damage around his shoulder.
Barriss gave a sharp tug and the joint slid back into position. Cody yelped. "Warn a brother next time!"
"If I had, you would've tensed up and I may not have been able to move the joint."
Cody grumbled and muttered something under his breath, but she ignored his complaints. He'd done the same at the medical station when he was in pain but didn't want to admit it.
She focused on calming the nerves to relieve the pain, and his breathing steadied. His eyes shut as she worked through spasm after spasm, healing damaged tissues.
"How's the pain?"
"Better," he admitted, then hissed lightly as her fingers hit another tender spot. "Or, it was."
She smiled and shook her head at his good-natured grumblings. She handed him the jar of lotion to distract him. "Hold this." She worked her hands in even deeper, determined to heal the damaged areas.
"How is General Unduli?" Cody asked, unable to hold back another grunt of pain as Barriss relentlessly pushed on a deep knot. Cody sucked in a deep breath and then emitted a low sigh of relief as the spasm gave way.
"As good as can be expected with a head injury so severe," she considered her reply. "Actually, better than I thought she'd be doing. You have some talented medics in the 212th."
She felt a pang of regret wash over Cody. "We do. We lost... two of our medics during the battle, including my CMO. But, I'm thankful we were able to save as many men as we did."
"Thanks to the efforts of you and Captain Rex."
"It was a team effort. Everyone contributed to getting those men out of there, including the troopers themselves. They fought hard." He twisted slightly so he could look at her over his shoulder. This time there was no pain in his features as he moved. Barriss decided to keep massaging his back, just in case she'd missed any muscle spasms.
Just doing my duties as a healer.
They were quiet for several long moments as she worked until Cody spoke up again. His voice dropped soft, as if asking question he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to. "Why did you come here?"
"Trapper asked me to-"
"That's not why you're here. You could've asked someone else to do it. This ship is filled with clones who don't have assigned duties at the moment."
She closed her eyes, trying to express her feelings with the soothing touch she applied to his muscles. "I am here because I could not stay away."
"Barriss," his name escaped her lips as a groan, pulled deep from within. He looked toward the door, and his voice was a low warning. "If you're going to leave, go now."
She took the healing lotion back from him, and slipped it back into her belt. She was done being a healer. She rose to leave.
She cast a look toward the door, but her feet refused to move.
"I cannot," she said. "I wish to stay... with you." She tucked her healing lotion away and wiped down her hands.
Cody turned back around and stared at her. His eyes were dark with a look she'd come to know well on the medical station. Want. Need. Desire.
"I could no more leave than I could stop breathing." She tugged her head scarf off, knowing how much Cody despised it. And, then stood, removing her clothes as Cody's eyes hungrily took her in.
Cody sucked in a breath, as if all the air had been drawn from his lungs. He reached up and tugged her down onto the bunk with him.
# # #
Hours later, Barriss lay awake watching Cody sleep. She savored each second, memorizing every line and curve on his face all over again.
But, something about these seconds seemed final. As if these moments would not come again.
Every parsec brought them closer to Coruscant.
Cody was peaceful in sleep. The stern expression had eased and was replaced with an innocence which made him look younger. His short-cropped hair had grown out during his time at Ord Cestus. It curled slightly now at the nape of his neck, and there was a single wisp of grey by his left ear. She sighed, knowing the years were slipping away from his life much too quickly. She wanted to stay like this forever, in this one moment, and ignore the rest of the universe. Pretend there was no war, no Jedi Order and Grand Army of the Republic. It was only the two of them in this moment in their safe little bubble.
Cody stirred slightly in his sleep, reaching out for her. She pulled back slightly out of his reach. His brow furrowed, but exhaustion pulled him back under and he slept on. She slowly backed further up. She had to leave.
Her body was sticky and sweaty and she desperately needed a shower.
He desperately needed a shower and stank of sweat and sex and man and clone.
But, if she showered here she would not be doing so alone.
She had to go. She took two steps toward the door, and stopped. She looked back toward the bed. Toward Cody. He had the same DNA as all the clones, but somehow when she looked upon him all she saw was unique beauty. A man so handsome he stole her breath away. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, savoring the scent that was uniquely Cody. It would have to be enough. These memories.
She knew what she had to do.
If she did not go now, she would never be able to leave.
If she stayed, she would destroy them both.
She quietly slipped out the door, although she could barely see as she headed down the corridor. Her vision was blurred and she was not sure she was headed in the correct direction.
She startled at a sudden voice.
"Commander, I was headed back to your side of the ship. Would you like to walk together?"
Trapper seemed to materialize out of nowhere. She stared at him for a long moment as her brain tried to catch up with his words. He waited patiently, as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on until she stepped in place beside him and they stared to walk together.
Trapper broke the silence first. "You didn't eat the red fruit, did you?"
Barriss was so lost in her thoughts, it took her a moment to register Trapper had spoken.
"What? I..." She tried to stammer out a response, but her brain was not cooperating.
"You're overtired, Commander. You need something beyond that Kazzie fruit." He rummaged into his belt pouch, and produced a rations bar. "My last one. I've been saving it."
Barriss accepted the precious bar with a grateful nod. "Thank you." She unwrapped the bar and quickly finished it off. The wretched things were terrible. She missed the food at the Jedi Temple. She missed so much of her life at the Jedi Temple. The routines. The simplicity. Maybe she was not one of those Jedi who was adventurous enough to leave the steps and venture forth.
"We're here, Commander. Your quarters," Trapper pointed. "Have a good rest."
Barriss nodded and entered her quarters, belatedly realizing she'd not thanked Trapper again for walking her to her quarters. She doubted she'd found her way on her own. She'd likely spent hours wandering the corridors of the massive ship and ended up in a weapons bay or some such place.
She showered in water that was much too hot. She tried to invigorate herself. She let the steam envelope her body, her thoughts cascading back to the hours spent with Cody.
She wanted to go back, and continue to watch him sleep. Watch him wake up. She wanted to be with him again. She couldn't. She had to end this. What was she doing? But, she couldn't seem to stay away from Cody. She was drawn to him like fleek oil to flame. But, the flame would surely destroy both of them. She sank down to her knees and wept.
The ship sped on toward Coruscant, and with each parsec, she knew the life she wanted could never be.
# # #
"Alright, Rex, these are your quarters. Cody is directly next to you. Captains Ko and Leon are on the right. Should be quiet down here. Only you mucky-muck command folks are in this wing."
Rex raised up an eyebrow at being called a 'mucky-muck,' but let it go. He placed a companionable hand on Fives' shoulder. "Thanks for showing me the way. I can take it from here."
Fives opened the door to Rex's quarters and let himself in. "Nope. Coric told me to make sure you hit your rack and stay there."
Rex rolled his eyes at the medic's bossiness. "I'll rest, not to worry." Inwardly, he was just thrilled Coric was still alive. He was one of the few brothers to survive Teth and Rex couldn't bear the thought of losing him, too.
"That's what you always say to us when you plan on working instead of resting."
Rex laughed. "No, I'll get some rack time." He'd been in bacta for almost a full rotation and his injuries had healed considerably. The wound on his chest was now a faint line. The cut in his neck was healed, leaving behind only a thin scar. His knee still bore the scar of his knee replacement, but it no longer ached where the Kazzie leader had struck him. Coric had been satisfied enough with his progress to release him from medbay already. He was fine. He stepped into the room and his nose wrinkled in displeasure. "What's that smell?"
"Kazzie fur," Fives said, "you can smell it throughout the ship, but it's strongest in the living quarters."
"Ah, yes, now I recognize the smell." It was discomfortingly familiar. He flashed back to being pinned to the Kazzie leader, a knife against his throat. The smell was a lot stronger without his bucket on.
Fives' voice brought him back. "You need anything else? I want to go check on Echo," the ARC's voice had been steady while speaking to Rex but wavered slightly when speaking of his badly injured brother.
"No. I'll be fine. How is Echo doing?"
Fives' face was set into a grim mask. "Kix can't give us an estimate yet for how long he'll be in bacta."
"Has Kix slept?"
"Doubtful. But, they have do have backup from the medics in the 212th. They're practically shinies, but seem to know their stuff enough." His voice turned grim. "The 212th lost both their senior medics in the battle, including Cody's CMO."
Rex closed his eyes briefly in grief. He knew a lot of Cody's senior staff and his senior medics were talented and fiercely dedicated to their brothers. It was a huge blow for Cody. It would be the same as if Rex lost both Kix and Coric in the same battle. He'd check in with Cody later and see how he was doing. Rex gave Fives a critical look, taking in the deep shadows under his eyes. "Have you slept since the battle?"
Fives shook his head and ran an agitated hand through his thick black hair. "I can't get my mind to shut down."
"Still, try to get some sleep, vod, Echo will need you when he gets out of bacta." Rex said the words to try to instill confidence Echo would make it.
Fives nodded and left, heading back in the direction of the medbay.
Rex took a few moments to explore the room. It was much larger than his room on the Resolute. Too large.
An oversized storage locker stood at the foot of the bunk, slightly propped open, allowing Rex to see his armor inside. He opened it and ran his hands along the pieces, looking for damage he needed to repair. There was none. His armor had been cleaned, polished and repaired. All of the Darknellian gunk and grime from the battle was gone. His helmet had been polished, so there was a faint sheen to it now. Rex ran his hands over the surface in wonder. The burn hole in his chest plate was still visible but scrubbed enough to remove most of the carbon scoring. Someone, or more than one someone, had spent hours cleaning his kit. Folded neatly underneath his armor was a clean bodysuit. Not his, which had been ruined in the battle beyond repair. Someone must have had a spare. There were few clones onboard who even had armor. Rex stared at the new suit in wonder, running his hands over the seamless mesh. It must have been donated by one of the men from Ord Cestus. Rex had already begun to wear through his spare suit by his second month on Ando. It was a precious gift.
He slid his bucket on and sighed with relief as he was back within the safe, familiar environment of his helmet. Everything about it felt right. It even had the perfect smell to it. He breathed in and out deeply several times, just relaxing in the normalcy for a few seconds. It blocked out (most of ) the smell of Kaz'harian fur.
He commed Cody.
The 212th commander picked up the call, voice only. "Commander Cody."
"Fek Cody, did I wake you up?"
"Is that any way to greet your commander?"
Rex ignoring the teasing jab. "Where are you now?"
Cody switched on the visual. He was shrugging into his bodysuit, although the material was sticking to him since he was still glistening wet. "I'm headed back on duty. I was... eh... resting." His cheeks flushed slightly and Rex wondered why. But, Cody quickly switched topics. "I see you escaped medbay."
"Yes. That's what I wanted to discuss."
"You want to go back?" Cody grunted as he finished tugging on his suit.
"It helps if you dry yourself off before trying to put that thing on."
Cody rolled his eyes. "You try to find a towel in this place."
"No. According to Fives, Kix and Coric have been on duty since we left Darkknell. I imagine we are facing the same situation with some of the other medics."
"I see. Hold on a sec." The viewpoint changed and Rex could tell Cody had placed his bucket down and was now speaking on his wristcomm. From the external HUD view, Rex could see Cody was shaving. He responded back to Rex even as he scraped several days of overgrowth from his face. "You'd like to order them to take a rest."
"Exactly. But, I can't. I'm officially not on duty."
"By those same medics."
"Yes."
"I'll take care of it. Anything else?" Cody brusquely combed his hair. He studied the finished result, patting an errant strand into place.
"No." Rex watched Cody with interest, wondering when the 212th commander became so fastidious about grooming.
He shook his head. Cody cut the connection, but before he did Rex thought he heard the 212th commander humming under his breath. Clone commanders did not hum. Fekkin' odd.
# # #
"Again, I expect Trapper, and I get you," Cody smiled at Barriss' unexpected appearance at his door. He had his bucket tucked under one arm, and a clone grooming kit clutched in the other. He made a gesture with the one hand, noticing Barriss' curious look. "No one wants to arrive in Coruscant looks like a Kowankian monkey lizard. So, we have to share the few kits we have. I won't get to shave again before Coruscant. Be forewarned," he stroked at his chin, almost playfully, as if he was considering growing a beard like Obi-Wan.
"Cody-"
Something about her tone alerted him.
He ushered her into his room.
"Everything OK? Did something happen with General Unduli?"
"No. Sorry. I'm usually much more direct. I-"
The clone commander's eyes narrowed, and his voice dropped dangerously low. "Don't."
"Cody, please, this cannot work. We cannot be together."
He crossed his arms and his voice dripped with sarcasm. "Last night, we had no problems being together. What changed since then?" He looked perplexed, and hurt.
It tore at Barriss to hurt him like this, not when she cared for him so deeply. This was wrong. So wrong.
She tried to explain it, without making it any worse. "All the Masters are currently unconscious. Everything will be different when we return to Coruscant."
He stared at her. His mouth was slightly agape, showing his perfect teeth. "You're effin' serious."
"We're headed back to Coruscant and everything will be different once we are there. I will be back at the Temple with Master Unduli while she heals and we cannot be seen together-"
His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Are you ashamed of lowering yourself to a clone?"
"Cody, no!" It couldn't be further from the truth. She loved Cody. The realization hit her suddenly and powerfully. There was so much about him that she loved.
And, she could not tell him.
He stared at her defiantly. Anger and hurt blazing in his eyes.
"If anyone found out, I would be expelled from the Order, and you-"
"I know what would happen to me!" Cody snapped. He stared at her and the silence stretched on between them. "I'm willing to take the risk, but you obviously don't think it is worth it."
"No, Cody, that's not it-"
Cody shook his head harshly. "Don't come to me again."
# # #