Leaning against the ruins of a stone wall as far from everyone as he could get without putting himself in danger, Jayden stifled a yawn, glancing at Airyl who hadn't taken her eyes off him. Despite being tired and having been told in no uncertain terms that he would not be participating in guard duty after his trip into Cailan's mind, he couldn't let himself sleep. Glancing at his hands he willed flames to ignite, but unsurprisingly there was nothing, only a hollow feeling in his chest. He smiled ruefully, he didn't need the trouble it would cause if he could suddenly manifest flames in reality, but he missed the feeling of that energy coursing through him. Having felt connected to something far bigger than himself and now to be cut off from it he felt more alone than he had in a long time and the fact remained he was no mage and his body was not equipped to deal with magic. He felt exhausted, sensitised and empty, finding himself with a clearer understanding perhaps of why mages feared Tranquility as they did. To those with access to magic all of the time, having it taken away from them must be a horrendous ordeal. He thought of Karl, the vibrant, passionate man and accomplished healer Anders had described and all that stripped from him because he had chosen to save the man he loved and himself from the violence of a Templar, the very Order created to protect both them and those without magic. Fists clenching, he was more determined than ever to get Karl out of the Circle, wondering what it would cost him in terms of being leashed further to the Chantry to make it happen. He thought of Sam too, the young healer in training, if all went well and his drive to have clinics set up around Ferelden with healers and mages happened, he wondered if Sam would consider a post in Gwaren when he was trained. He sighed softly, assuming there was anything left of Ferelden after the Blight and of course that he did not find himself locked up in Aeonar. Shifting slightly, he forced his mind away from such disturbing thoughts, only for others to take their place.

Robbing the Archdemon of the King had enraged him and he was not eager to feel again Urthemiel's personal hatred towards him. He knew the Old God wanted to tear him apart and it terrified him. Of all the trials he had faced, of all the enemies he had come up against, they all paled in comparison to the blighted dragon with a thirst for world domination. What the Archdemon had done to him in Cailan's mind he would get over, it was merely one of many nightmares he had endured, but the memories he had seen had brought up grief and pain of their own and that was far harder to deal with. He remembered how close he and Anora had been before anger and grief had torn them apart; wanting desperately to make things right with her before time ran out. His mother and grandfather would be devastated at how far apart they had grown and the sudden intense belief that he had failed her was almost too much to bear. She had so many pressures on her as Queen and while he had never meant to, he had clearly added to them. It still hurt, the things she had said to him, the actions she had taken towards him, but he knew for his own sanity that he had to try and bridge the gap between them. If she rejected him again at least he would die knowing he had tried. Glancing up he saw a nervous looking Dylan heading towards him.

"How are you?" Dylan asked cautiously as he hunkered down beside him.

"Alright. You?"

"Like I went through my Harrowing again, only worse! I … I'm sorry I couldn't stop what was happening to you."

"As I am for what happened to you. I hate feeling so damn helpless." He sighed at Dylan's worried gaze. "I'll get over it."

"You can maybe fool the others into thinking that if you tell them what happened, but I saw it!"

Having shown enough vulnerability to Aedan, Jayden had no intention of showing more to anyone else. "Listen, the woman you saw take me to the emperor, she was real and she did a very thorough job of telling me exactly what the emperor planned to do to me. I had nightmares for years about it. In fact some of my nightmares were disturbingly similar. It felt real, but it will fade in time as all nightmares do." He gave a slight smile at his look of disbelief. "The Archdemon actually did me a favour making me a child, much easier to convince myself it was just a nightmare, but only if you stop looking at me as though you are afraid, I will break down at any moment."

"I am just concerned."

"I understand that and I am grateful, truly, but it is over. My body is whole and any remaining sensations are aches, so please, let go of it so I can do the same."

"I … alright. Listen can we … can we talk?"

"I thought we were." He winced at Dylan's slight flush and his silence, speaking to try and ease the discomfort. "Actually, I wanted to ask something. The memory Urthemiel made you experience, was it real or did he twist it? I only ask because he twisted what Alistair and I experienced."

Dylan hesitated, unconsciously nipping his lower lip. "No, that's what happened."

"I'm sorry."

"I've spent years trying to bury that memory, to accept I will never see my sister again, but it has opened everything back up again. It's like a damn raw wound." He closed his eyes feeling the breeze against his skin, breathing deeply seeking to ground himself. "I just … I wish I knew she was well, happy. I make myself believe she is alive, but I … in my darkest moments I … I'm afraid she didn't survive that blow." Shuddering he glanced at Jayden, seeing sorrow in his eyes. "Give me a little time and I will have buried it again."

"I know some people who might be able to track her down. If you want me to, I can get word to them."

"You would do that?"

"I can't imagine what it must be like to not even know if your sister is alive or not."

Swallowing hard Dylan nodded. "Yes, I … thank you."

"Don't thank me, I can't promise you will like what they find."

"Even so, at least I would know." They sat in silence for a few moments each lost in their own thoughts. "I … I need to know something. I recognised the mage from your memory, I know it was Anders. I thought he was dead, so I never imagined they were one and the same when I heard the others speak of your brother. I never thought a non-mage would help a mage like that, even if he is family. I mean you helped destroy his phylactery!" He met Jayden's gaze. "Is he really your brother?"

"In every way besides blood." Jayden stated softly. "What the Templars were doing was wrong. The ones with his phylactery were going to kill him just because they could. They returned to the Circle believing him dead and it bought him time. That they were in the Wilds and stumbled upon him years later was …" He sighed deeply. "You saw, they meant to kill him, but would have tortured him first. I would have died myself before letting that happen."

Nodding Dylan glanced at his hands before meeting his gaze once more. "Do you think the King will say anything about the Templars?"

"I have no idea what he will do. I imagine at the very least it will be useful knowledge to keep me in line. Worries for another day I suppose."

Nervously running his fingers through his hair Dylan forced himself to meet his gaze. "Will I … are you really the General's son?"

Sighing, Jayden took a calming breath ready to deny it, but he found the truth spilling from his lips as though it refused to be denied any longer, watching as Dylan's jaw dropped during the telling. "I shouldn't have said any of that, but I am so tired of living that damn lie."

Shaking his head Dylan sighed deeply. "Well, damn. I think I would have gone mad if all of that had happened to me!"

"I understand if you feel you can't trust me anymore."

"I probably trust you more than I have ever trusted anyone in my life." He grinned at Jayden's uncertain look. "You are my Captain whatever your name. I trust you to get us through this in whatever way you can and I know that your drive to help mages isn't just political or solely for war, you really do care about our futures." He glanced at Jayden thoughtfully. "Though I understand it might be difficult for you to trust me given everything you have been through so I offer you this, something I never want the Templars to know. Morrigan taught me to shape change."

Jayden's eyes widened in surprise. "You must have proven yourself to her."

Flushing Dylan squirmed slightly. "Maybe."

Hesitating, Jayden realised there was more than just magical education at play. "You and Morrigan are together?"

"No, I mean I'm not sure, if anything I think I am a distraction. Not that I mind and I don't have any expectations, as a mage, we learn not to hope for more. Besides I don't think Morrigan is the relationship type."

"So she says, just be careful."

"Shouldn't you be saying that to her?"

Jayden laughed softly. "Morrigan can take care of herself. That said, if you do hurt her I won't be happy."

"Understood." Dylan worried at his lip. "You won't tell Ser Matthew, will you? The magic of changing form is forbidden in the Circle and if he finds out I can do it I'm not sure how he will react."

Sighing softly Jayden let out a huffed breath, there were so many barriers between mages and Templars. "I won't say anything about you, but this is a magical skill that is too useful to ignore. Perhaps I could approach the First Enchanter, Knight Commander and Grand Cleric, test the waters of mages in the army using it."

Dylan stared at him startled. "You can't be serious; they will refuse and likely do something terrible to you for suggesting it."

"Change doesn't happen if people don't suggest it, besides I have time to think of a convincing argument."

"I love that you advocate for mages, really I do, but you are going to get yourself on the wrong side of the Chantry, Champion or not and they will destroy you."

"They already might so I might as well get what I can for mages before that." He smiled at Dylan's horrified expression. "Relax, I won't ruffle their feathers until I am fairly certain I can convince them." Smiling as Dylan muttered something under his breath, he inched a little closer. "Since we are talking about magic, can I ask something about your personal experience of it?"

"Of course."

"Do you feel it inside you all of the time? That raw power flowing through your body?"

"To a certain extent. Once you are trained to understand it, to recognise it." He sucked in a sharp breath realising why he was asking. "What … what did you feel when your hands reformed?"

"At first I felt energy flowing through my body, even though I didn't have a body, which I really am having trouble coming to terms with given everything I felt. I remember as a child wishing I had magic, before I understood the reality, so to be honest I thought this wonderful, amazing thing was happening to me. It … it made me feel more alive than I ever have and less afraid. I saw flames moving under my skin and I thought with it I could maybe save myself." Jayden glanced at him. "I … I know it wasn't mine and it wasn't even real in one sense and I only felt it briefly, but it's like everything is dulled. Somehow things don't seem the same."

"You felt the power of Holy Andraste flow through you, I'm not sure anyone would feel the same after that."

Sighing softly Jayden rubbed his forehead. "I don't think any of us should be mentioning that to anyone."

"Why? All of us there saw Her and what She did! She swatted the Archdemon like it was a fly. If only we could have Her in battle with us."

"Don't hope for that Dylan, if Holy Andraste really could join us in battle surely she would have intervened during the other blights."

"I suppose. Still, I think I might pray a little more than I usually do."

xXx

Sitting at the Commanders desk, Rathnal stared at Duncan's joining kit and the Calling Crystal. His mind was still in chaos after witnessing what he had and he felt sick at himself that he had been willing to sacrifice his friend to save the King. He needed the King and so he had done what he had to, but it chilled him. The responsibilities he shouldered were making him into someone he was afraid of and he kept wondering if they had not gone to Orzammar until now, if he would decide in Sereda's favour regarding the anvil. He shivered in the horror that he truly did not know, trying to ignore the rush of nausea. Slowly he ran his fingers over the smooth surface of the Calling Crystal, forcing aside those thoughts and glancing at Ayanna and Serris. "One is at the Peak, the other in Denerim. I intend to send this one to Orzammar. Not only does it make sense to have it there, but it means we can contact Sereda without having to wait for messengers or birds."

"It's a good idea." Ayanna stated. "But it means splitting up."

"I know." Rathnal rubbed his forehead. "Serris if you are amenable, I hoped you would take it along with Rory and Peter. With luck Sereda will have identified some recruits. Take them to the Peak and I will meet you there to do the Joining once we have found the Dalish. In the meantime, you can concentrate on healing and lyrium potions and more of that mist that incapacitates the Darkspawn, basically anything that will give us an edge. Mikhael Dryden was going to look at crafting runes into weapons and armour, see how far he has gotten. Maybe see if Sereda can lend us the services of a dwarven smith."

Serris gestured to the Joining kit. "I could take it with me and perform the Joining."

"No, I would not have anyone else perform that duty. Their deaths if there are any will lay with me, no-one else."

"As you wish."

He rubbed his forehead before standing. "We should join the others, pay our respects to the fallen."

xXx

Teagan's soldiers remained on guard, but all of the others surrounded the bodies that had been laid out in what had once been the training grounds. Rathnal spoke first, grieving the loss of the Wardens for a second time, but at least they would be defiled no longer. Cailan praised those who had given their lives for Ferelden, Warden, mage and soldier. Leliana raised her voice in song, elven in origin, it left most of them blinking back tears if not openly weeping. Finally, Perin stepped forward forming a shield around the bodies, the flames within too bright to look at as the bodies were consumed.

Dropping to a knee beside the ashes Jayden spoke a simple oath, the Darkspawn would be stopped. One by one the others joined him, swearing that their sacrifice would not be in vein.

xXx

Little over an hour later Morrigan returned from scouting, the others had already gathered and were waiting for her. "The gate beneath the surface is inaccessible, large numbers of Darkspawn are coming out of the Deep Roads entrance. The ruined dwarven doors make their progress a little slower, but not by much. Several large groups have already left, heading for Gwaren." She turned to Jayden, seeing him pale, speaking hurriedly. "The Gateway above the surface that leads to Gwaren is accessible, should you wish to make use of it."

"Why would they not come here?" Gabriel queried. "With the numbers Morrigan has seen we couldn't stand against them."

"The Archdemon wants us to feel helpless." Cailan stated. "It intends to destroy Ferelden and it wants us to see it do it." He did not add that by destroying Gwaren it would strike a personal blow against both Jayden and the Warden Commander.

"Well, it has cut off the gateway we intended to use so we must take the long route back to Highever." Teagan stated calculating their remaining supplies and wondering if they should head to Redcliffe in the hopes of getting horses.

Cailan glanced at Jayden who was looking at the map, likely calculating distances and travelling time. "Indeed uncle, but we must also warn Gwaren." He saw relief in Jayden's expression though he did not look up. "Captain William, this gateway above ground that Morrigan spoke of; I am assuming your runestone will work with that too."

"Yes, your Majesty."

"Good, then you stand a chance of getting ahead of them. I cannot give you every soldier under your command, I have to protect my party as well, but take Ser Matthew and Enchanters Dylan and Reece, I suspect their skills will be invaluable."

"Thank you."

Cailan glanced to Rathnal. "It would seem sensible for the Wardens to travel through this gateway as well, it is likely to bring you closer to where you need to be regarding the Dalish."

"It will indeed, your Majesty." Rathnal stated, glancing at Jayden.

Cailan leaned forward catching the gazes of them both. "I strongly suggest this mission involves warning Gwaren only, perhaps helping with evacuation, preferably by sea, we cannot afford to lose either of you in a battle that cannot be won."

Rathnal shifted slightly. "We can assess the situation when we arrive, Your Majesty, but believe me I intend to take no unnecessary chances. A small group of Wardens is heading back to Orzammar, they will escort you and your party, as far as possible. I suggest we get ready and aim to leave within the hour."

As the group broke away to make preparations to leave, Cailan moved to Jayden. "We need to talk." He moved away praying Jayden would follow him, relieved that when he stopped Jayden joined him. Staring at the dark clouds and intermittent flashes of lightning Cailan glanced at the ring Teagan had given him. He had no idea how it worked, but since putting it on he had felt different, protected. "When you get to Gwaren, if you can access the Calling Crystal, contact Anora and Loghain, update them on what is happening, including Ostagar and Fergus being back in Highever. Let them know I will contact them as soon as I reach Highever. We must start communicating with each other. Do your best to persuade them of the need to evacuate the city."

"I will do what I can."

"I will ask one more thing of you. Give me the chance to tell Anora about Gawain myself."

"Trust me, that is not a conversation I want to have with her, you are welcome to it. Is that all your Majesty?"

Swallowing the sick feeling Cailan met that cold gaze that chilled him to his core. "About what happened with the Archdemon; I need you to know if I could have stopped what was happening to you I would have. I … seeing what was being done to you was horrific."

"Try experiencing it." Jayden growled.

"I did not mean …" Letting out a huff of breath Cailan lowered his gaze. "Maker, I cannot say anything right."

Jayden held his tongue, he might be angry, but Cailan was still the King.

"I am glad Holy Andraste did what I could not." Rubbing his neck at Jayden's continuing silence he felt as though he was talking to a mountain, he seemed just as immovable. "At least tell me how you feel after what you experienced. Feeling her power move through you, it must have been extraordinary."

"It was." Jayden finally stated reluctantly. "But now I feel empty, alone and so very tired." He shook his head at Cailan's concerned expression. "I don't want or need your sympathy. It was all just a nightmare and I will get over it as I did as a child."

"What can I do to help? There must be something."

"Don't ever tell the Chantry about what you saw. In fact, just don't ever speak about it to anyone!"

"Do you mean about the Templars?"

"I mean about what actually cast the Archdemon from your mind!"

"Why? It was a blessing that our Holy Lady saved us."

"But I will be the one who pays for it if the Chantry decides it was something else!"

"What else could it have been?"

"A spirit, a demon."

"You know that is not true!"

"What I know doesn't matter. All that matters is if the Chantry finds out, they can spin it in whatever way they like to keep me to heel and I do not intend to be leashed to them any more than I already have been."

"Being Champion is an honour not a leash."

"Don't be naive Cailan, of course it is a damn leash and the Chantry will be gathering as much information on me as they can to make sure they can keep me in line. You're a damn fool if you can't see that."

"Being Champion is about giving hope, the Chantry will not stand in the way of that."

"And when the Blight is over and if I survive? Do you think they will let me go back to my life? Of course not, I will be an errand boy for them. They will dress it up as the role of Champion, but it won't be about Andraste's will, it will be about whatever the Chantry wants and they are corrupt! They will have me do whatever they feel they can get away with and the moment I refuse or step out of line things like this will be held over me. All I want is to finally go home after we end this mess, but I will never be left in peace. Perhaps it would be better if I don't survive the blight."

"Never say that!" Cailan hissed furiously.

"Why, because it ruffles your conscience?"

"No, you damn fool, because no matter what I said, you are my brother." He nipped his lip as Jayden turned away. "About the Templars." He saw Jayden's shoulders slump and he ached to make things right between them, to make him feel better as he could when he was a child. "It was just the Archdemon twisting your memories."

Jayden willed himself not to speak, but he was so very tired of lies. "We both know that's not true."

"Then let me be clear." Cailan moved to place his hands on Jayden's shoulders, but let them fall to his sides, feeling Jayden's resistance to the contact. "It was the Archdemon twisting your memories." He lowered his voice. "And theoretically speaking, even if what I saw was true, you were defending someone from brutality."

"We both know you have an obligation to report it."

"Sweet Maker, are you so eager to end up in Aeonar! Besides, whatever difficulties are between us, do you really think I would do that given what I saw? You identified yourself, gave them warning and several chances. I think Seeker Greyfor was right, if you did not have other duties, you would have made a fine Seeker. They challenge the Templars as well, root out corruption wherever it is. If I was in your place, I hope I would have had the courage and strength to stand my ground and fight for what was right as you did. Not to mention they forced your hand. I believe you did the right thing. "

"I doubt the Templar Order or Chantry would see it that way."

"If that was the case, I believe that would say more about their corruption than your actions."

Jayden hesitated before shifting slightly. "We need to do better by the mages."

"I see that and I will do what I can, but for now our focus has to be on the Blight."

Glancing at him Jayden nodded, but turned his gaze to the battlefield.

"You were right about me." Cailan stated softly. "I was being selfish. I have a son and I let that blind me to all else. Rosslyn and I …" He fell silent, this wasn't what needed to be said. "I cannot change what has happened in the past. I have wronged Anora. I know that and it does not matter what she did, it does not justify what I did. I was selfish, petty and cruel, but I cannot change it and I … I cannot regret my son. I do not know what will happen between Anora and myself, but my focus has to be the Blight. When this is done, then we can figure out a way to move forward. Those things I said to you … I am truly sorry." He sighed softly, keeping his voice low. "I understand if you hate me, but our destiny has always been to stand side by side against the darkness."

Feeling exhausted with the whole situation Jayden turned to him. "You are my King; I will stand with you against whatever enemy may come."

"Not as King and subject, as brothers, as it was always meant to be."

"What was said between us cannot be unsaid and I am not interested in making you feel better. The only reason you are even asking this is because of the damn title of Champion. Don't worry Cailan, I will be a good soldier, but do not expect anything else from me."

"I do not care about that title; I care about you!"

"I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear how sorry you are, or listen to your excuses."

"That thing was going to take over me and kill Alistair! He would have made me watch, helpless, as my own hands killed my brother! In my mind he made me do it over and over again." Cailan wiped at the tears slipping down his cheeks. "What would you have had me do? You love Alistair as a brother yourself. If I had not said and done those terrible things, he would be dead. I made a choice. He wanted you to suffer, not die. I …"

Jayden met his gaze seeing only desperate truth and felt his heart ache, but his anger was too great to consider forgiveness. "I understand."

Cailan gave a sigh of relief. "Then things can go back to the way they were between us."

"No. I understand why you did it, but I saw it in you, a part of you meant everything you said."

"I was trying to save my brother; I had to be convincing!"

Jayden moved a step closer. "You meant to kill Airyl, do not deny it!"

Swallowing painfully Cailan felt his heart sink. "I … I would do anything to save my brother."

"Then you should understand why things will never be the same between us."

"She is just a wolf!" Cailan cried out desperately.

"Not to me!" Jayden snarled.

Cailan stared at him and then Airyl. "I had no choice."

"We always have choices. You made your choice to save Alistair and I understand that, but there are always consequences to every action and that is something we both have to live with."

"Please … I never wanted this rift between us."

"I never wanted to see the future, but I made a choice and I have had to live with the consequences. I suggest you learn to do the same, your Majesty."

Cailan stared at him, swallowing against the lump growing in his throat. "Then I make this vow, I will never stop trying to heal what I have broken. I will regain your trust and Maker willing your love." He stared in dismay as Jayden turned away from him. Shoulders slumping, he turned and walked away, wondering if the bond he had cherished could ever exist again.

xXx

Having gathered those under his command Jayden glanced them over, wishing they were coming with him.

"Splitting up again." Lawrence muttered.

"Gwaren needs to be warned, the people who live there deserve that."

"I know, I just wish we were coming with you."

"You have a more important task."

"We know, protecting the King." Tess muttered, flushing at his sharp look.

"Not just protecting him, but watching him." Jayden held firm at their uneasy looks.

"But Captain …" Terrance glanced at the others cautiously. "The King has been cleared by the mages and Templars and he has the ring made by the dwarf."

"Indeed, but I remember us placing trust in an amulet and look how that worked out. I hope the King can't be influenced by the Archdemon again, but I for one don't intend to just assume it, for his sake and ours. So, you will protect him and you will watch him and if there is even a hint that something is not right you will inform Bann Teagan, you will restrain him if you have to, that's an order."

"Yes Captain." They chorused.

"Good, now get your things and be safe. Maker willing, we will meet again soon. Dismissed." He glanced at Gabriel who lingered. "Is this where you tell me I am being paranoid?"

"No, this is where I tell you to watch your back. As for your orders regarding the King, it's only bloody sensible."

"Is it, or is it just my anger at him?"

"Probably a bit of both, but it's necessary all the same." Clearing his throat Gabriel took a step closer and grasped Jayden's arm. "Don't be a hero at Gwaren. Just warn them and get out."

"Gabe I …"

"Yeh, I saw it in your eyes, Gwaren means something to you. I'm not asking you what, your secrets are your own, just try not to die, alright?" He forced a smile at his nod. "Right then, better get my things."

xXx

Orders having been given and goodbyes made, the two groups set off, one in the direction of Redcliffe, the other to the gateway above ground. The groups moved quickly and as silently as they could fearful of a Darkspawn attack. The King's group were less able to stay hidden due to Bodahn's cart, but what the dwarves offered was worth it.

Morrigan scouted the gateway again and returned with the welcome news it was clear. Shifting uncomfortably in the mismatched armour he had managed to purchase from Bodahn, Jayden took the lead, hurrying to open the gateway, fighting the urge to tell the group to hurry up. Finally, only he and Morrigan were left, at a gesture she stepped through and grabbing the runestone he joined her.

As soon as he saw Jayden, Rathnal took the lead. The Darkspawn would not rest and he wanted to ensure they had as much preparation time in their favour as possible. He would have set a faster pace, but for those who had been injured. They did not complain at the speed, but it was clear they were struggling. He slowed slightly, but it took all of his willpower to mask the agitation it caused. Being a Warden meant giving up your family and as Commander he was supposed to enforce that, but he hated the man he was becoming, the choices this role imposed on him and he was damned if he was going to stand by and do nothing as his home was attacked. If he couldn't make sure Gwaren survived then at the very least he would make sure his grandfather and as many people as possible escaped to safety and being Warden Commander be damned!

xXx

Author Note: Thank you for reading; it is always appreciated.