So I wrote this a long time ago - I decided to make some amendments which is why its taken so long to get this chapter up. But it broke me to write it. I used a lot of my own grief in this chapter, having lost a friend earlier this year. So this selfishly served as a kind of catharsis for me. I hope with all my heart that you...well, its not likely that you'll enjoy it but I hope you can appreciate it and leave a review. There is light at the end of this tunnel and some really big P/A chapters are coming. As in the one after this. It won't be doom and gloom for too long. Thank you for being patient and sticking with me, Love always, El x

Allie Harding gritted her teeth, her hands tightening on the sides of her seat as Pete took yet another corner at record speed, the wheels of her VW bug screeching against the ground beneath them. He had barely spoken since he'd gotten off of the phone with Steve, his blue eyes which had been so bright and hopeful just a few hours earlier were now dark and determined as he weaved through traffic and ran a red light.

"Pete," Allie swallowed, shaking her head slightly. "I know you're scared but you need to slow down,"

The blonde in the driver's seat cast an apologetic look towards her but didn't say anything, though she let out a breath as she realised the car had slowed just slightly.

He turned into the familiar and narrow road, his chest tightening when he spotted it.

"Oh, Jesus,"

Allie gasped next to him, leaning forward to peer out of the windscreen at the flames which were spilling out of the small stone house. Neighbours poured out of their own homes into the street to stare hopelessly at it, the soot falling from the air and landing on their pyjamas. Allie barely had time to think before she felt the car jolt to a stop and Pete leapt from it, running towards the burning building.

"Pete!" she shouted after him, swearing as she fumbled with her seatbelt and flung herself from the car, chasing after him.

She skidded to a stop behind him, slamming into the hard muscles of his back as he stared up at the horror before him. Pat and Nancy's home, the same house he had albeit grown up in was crumbling, smouldering as chunks of brick broke off and fell to the ground.

"I have to go in,"

Allie frowned, unsure if she had heard him; she was certain he wasn't speaking to her but to himself. She could feel the tremors running through his body as he fought for control and stepped around him to stand in front of him.

"Pete, baby, look at me," she placed her hands on his chest, keeping her voice even.

"Pete."

He blinked, forcing his eyes away from the building and down to hers as her voice with had taken on a firmer, louder tone echoed through his ears. She looked desperate, her ivy green eyes shimmering with tears as she looked up at him.

"We need to find out what's going on first," she spoke quickly, her words tumbling over one another. "You can't just go in there,"

"Allie," he half shouted. "I can't just stand here and-…"

"Pete!"

Steve stumbled over to them, his handsome face marked with soot, a sore looking gash on his right eyebrow causing blood to drip into his eye and make their artic blue hue even more stark.

Pete and Allie both caught him at the same time as he half fell into them, his body heaving as he coughed violently and shook his head.

"Mate, what the fuck happened?" Pete cried, ignoring the long black marks his brother left on the arms of his white shirt. "Where are Pat and Nancy?"

"I tried, mate," Steve half sobbed. "I tried to get 'em out…I couldn't see anything…I thought if I could…-"

He sobbed and coughed, wincing as he pulled his jacket to one side and revealed blood pooling through his shirt from an unseen wound in his stomach.

"Oh shit," Allie whispered to herself, rubbing her hand down his back as she craned her head and shouted to the paramedics who pulled up next to him. "We need help here!"

"Stay with him," Pete muttered, briefly touching Allie's arm as he left Steve propped up against her and made his way towards the house.

"Fuck," Steve winced, grabbing Allie's chin and forcing her to look at him, seeing the panic in her eyes mirroring his own. "Stop him, sweetheart. He'll get himself killed,"

Allie nodded, feeling helpless as the paramedics flanked her, pulling the older Dunham man from her arms. Turning to look at the burning building, she swallowed hard, her heart plummeting when she saw Pete running full pelt towards it.

"Pete, wait!" she screamed, running after him.

Tripping on the pavement, she turned when someone caught her arm and frowned.

"You need to stay here, love," the police officer shook his head.

"My boyfriend just went in there!" she yelled, yanking her arm back. "Why didn't you stop him?"

The policeman shook his head silently, horror dawning on him as he realised he had missed the young man who had seemingly run past them and into the fray.

"Pete!" Allie screamed again, taking another step towards the building only to be yanked back, this time with enough force to move her backwards, away from the flames. Away from the man she loved.

"Pat!"

Pete lifted his arm to cover his mouth, not that it did anything. Smoke filled his lungs and he coughed violently, the heat of the ash making drawing in another breath almost impossible.

"Nancy!"

He cast an eye up the staircase which was covered in a thick, dark fog, the heat from the flames unbearable as he peered through them to see it had all but collapsed. Stumbling down the short hallway, he felt his way as best he could, ignoring the singeing of his palms against the walls.

Half falling into the kitchen, he coughed hard and felt his blood run cold when he spotted the cannister of petrol laying on its side. Turning at the sound of a frightened yelp, he crouched down and peered through the smoke, his heart breaking when he saw her.

"Sandy," he called, holding his hand out to the dog laying, barely breathing under the table. "Come on, darlin',"

She lifted her head briefly and nuzzled his hand, trying to pull herself up but yelping again and falling back onto her side. Ignoring the agony as flames licked his back, Pete grabbed her, scooping her into his arms and yanking off his jacket, covering her in it. There was no way Pat and Nancy would have left her, they had to be in here somewhere.

"Pat! Nancy!" he shouted as loudly as he could but was deafened as a chunk of ceiling fell from the hall and trapped him in there. "Fuck!"

Turning in a fast circle with the dog still in his arms, Pete felt panic rush through his veins. Outside, he heard Allie scream his name and felt tears sting his eyes. A few hours ago, he had been the happiest he could remember in his eighteen years. In her arms. And now…

"Pete,"

Someone grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and flung him backwards.

"What the fuck are you doin' in here, boy?"

Meeting Pat's eyes, Pete felt the briefest flash of relief.

"Where's Nancy?"

"She's in the living room," Pat coughed. "I'll go get 'er but you need to get out of 'ere fir-…"

Pete shook his head, holding Sandy to him with one hand and grabbing his uncle's shoulder with the other, using every bit of strength in his body to force him towards the sliding glass doors which opened up into the garden.

"You get out of 'ere," he nodded firmly. "You're a state and you're no good to 'er like that. Take Sandy and get outside, I'll find Nancy,"

"You want me to walk out of this house without my wife?" Pat screamed at him. "I ain't-"

"Get out," Pete shoved him hard, forcing Sandy into his arms. "I'll get 'er, Uncle Pat. I won't let anything happen to her,"

With that, Pete turned, running back down the hall and pushing his way into the living room. Broken and burning furniture lay everywhere, the ash so thick in the air that it was almost impossible to make out whole objects.

Until he saw it.

The flash of gold of her wedding ring. The light blue of her nurse's uniform.

"Auntie Nance?" he called out, his voice sounding just like it did when he was a child.

He felt relief when she coughed, her left arm raising slightly, signalling to him that she was ok. He dropped to his knees and crawled over to her, pushing jagged piles of broken wood and brick out of his way as he came to hover above her, his throat tightening when he looked down at her.

"Hi gorgeous," she smiled, her eyes opening slowly as she fought to make him out.

She was pale, even with the black marks of ash marring her face; blood covered her chest, her arms. Oh God, no.

"Nance," Pete spoke softly, determined to keep his voice level. "I'm gonna try and lift you, ok?"

"You need to get out of here," she shook her head. "Pete…"

"I am," he assured her. "I am getting out of here, I'm just taking you with me, ok? We're just gonna have to move quick, I don't….I promise, I'll try not to hurt you, ok?"

Nancy stared up at him and felt her heart break. He was such a good boy, so pure despite everything he'd been through, everything he'd seen. And now this.

"Y'know…I remember the day I found out I couldn't have a baby…" she winced as her chest swelled and burned with every breath she took. "God, I was so…I felt like I'd failed."

"Nance, you can tell me this when we get outside, yeah?" Pete smiled tightly at her. "I just need to figure out how to move you, ok? Can you put your arms around my neck?"

"You came round the day after, you and Steve and your mum," Nancy smiled, her lips bloody. "I was sat in the garden, I was so…so tired from crying. All I'd done was cry. And you came out and you sat next to me in the grass, do you remember?"

Pete blinked back the tears in his eyes but it did nothing, they fell anyway, landing on her.

"I made you a cup of tea," he nodded.

"Oh God," she half laughed, half choked. "That was…the worst cup of tea I've ever tasted in my life. But you came and sat next to me and you just held my hand. You were only about 8 or 9. And you told me that…that not being able to have a baby didn't mean I wasn't a mother."

She bit her lip and sobbed.

"I don't think I ever told you how much…how much that meant to me. You just hugged me and sat with me while I cried and I don't think I ever loved another person the way I loved you in that moment."

"Nance, stop, alright?" Pete sobbed, pulling her arms up and wrapping them around his neck. "Just hold on to me, yeah?"

"You're such a good man," she rested her hand against his face and smiled when he closed his eyes. "I am so proud of who you've become. You're different than the rest of them, y'know? Even your Uncle…God, I love him. But there's something in you, Pete. Something gentle. Don't lose that, no matter what happens. After this…" she coughed and cried out when as pain shot through her stomach.

"Pat is going to need you…you keep him sane. You don't let him forget who he is, either,"

"Nance, we ain't doin' this, alright?" Pete cried. "We're gonna get you out of here, I just need to…"

He moved some of the rubble off of her and prepared to lift her, stopping dead when he saw it. The sharp, jagged ceiling beam…coming through her.

"Oh fuck," he whispered shakily. "No, no, no…it's ok, I can move it. Just, it's gonna hurt you and I don't want…"

"Pete," Nancy smiled and shook her head. "Go."

Pete stared down at her, his hands still on her arms, holding them around his neck and he prayed she couldn't feel the tremors running through him. He wanted to scream. He wanted to pick her up, to take her out of this. But he couldn't.

"Not yet," he shook his head, using the hand that wasn't holding her arm around him to gently brush the hair out of her eyes. "Let me stay a little while, alright?"

Nancy sobbed and shook her head, holding his hand to her face as she stared up at him.

"It's just like that day in the garden, eh?" she laughed. "All that's missing is a bloody awful cup of tea,"

Pete laughed softly with her, his eyes growing wide when he heard a loud crash from the hallway.

"Sweetheart…" Nancy shook her head. "You need to go,"

"I can't…I can't leave you here," Pete told her brokenly. "What am I supposed to tell Pat? How am I supposed to…_"

"You are going to walk out of here," Nancy levelled him with her eyes. "You are going to run back to Allie and tell her how sorry you are for scaring her senseless. You're going to love her; you're going to let her love you. She loves you so much, Pete. You're going to look after each other, you're going to go to university and do something…something amazing with your life. And you look after Pat for me. You tell him…" she sobbed. "You tell him I love him, more than anything on this earth."

Her words were jumbled now, slower and spilling over each other, her grip on his collar getting weaker.

"You're already a good man, Pete," she smiled slowly. "Now go and be a great one,"

She took in a deep, shuddering breath and her eyes set on his, the fire in them going out. Pete sat silently for a moment, staring at her and letting her arms fall from him slowly as her head turned gently, almost as though she were asleep.

"Oh fuck, no," he shook her gently. "Auntie Nance? Nance…? Please…?"

He sobbed, screaming into her shoulder as he dropped his head down and let himself break. Ash and rubble fell around him and he ignored it, his heart slowing as he cried violently against her rapidly cooling skin.

"Pete!"

Allie.

He glanced up at the sound of her scream and swallowed hard, casting one last glance at the woman beneath him and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. Pushing himself up, he fell through the house, sobbing and trying to take in as much air as possible. He just needed to get to her.

He shouted when something caught his ankle and he fell hard, down into the debris of the house he had once called his second home. Turning his head to the side, he felt his eyes bulge out of his head.

Michael Dunham sat upright against the wall, his skin marred and burnt, thick layers of dust sticking to the open wounds. His eyes, however were as alert as ever, boring into him, daring him to look away.

"Always the hero, eh Petey?" he smiled sickeningly, his words slurred.

Pete stared at him for a long moment before pushing himself back to his feet and starting down the hallway, stopping a second later and casting a glance back at the man he deigned to call his father.

Gritting his teeth, he swore under his breath and reached out, snagging Michael by the collar of his shirt and dragging him behind him, ignoring his screams of agony. Pete moved as quickly as he could, clambering over the pile of flaming rubble that had fallen in the kitchen, not bothering to lift his father, instead dragging him through it, not caring in the slightest when he shouted out in protest. The sunlight from the garden poured in, streaking through the dust and ash. He practically threw himself into it, gasping loudly when fresh air filled his lungs for the first time in what felt like hours.

Pat sat on the grass and stared, his eyes wide as he watched Pete emerge streaked with blood and dust and dragging Michael Dunham behind him. He blinked, craning his neck to see if Nancy was following him. She had to be.

Pete threw Michael to the floor and fell to his knees next to him, his body wracking with hard, violent sobs as he leant forward and brought his forehead to his knees.

"I'm so sorry, Pat,"

The words were garbled, harsh and barely above a whisper on the wind but he caught them.

He stared at his nephew open mouthed, tears pouring down his face in torrents but no noise escaped him. Pete lifted his head and shook it slightly, his bright blue eyes red and tortured.

"I'm so sorry,"

Pat shook his head slowly and then screamed.

Pete closed his eyes and fought the urge to vomit; the noise was unlike anything he'd ever heard. It was pure fear and anguish, like a dying animal caught in a trap. It echoed through the air, drowning out the sirens and other voices coming from the front of the house. He was so focused on the grass in front of him, on the way his bloodied fingers felt as they clung to it that he almost missed the moment his father started laughing.

Turning his head to the side, he stared wide eyed at Michael Dunham as he lay on his back, laughing at the sky above him. His clothes were torn and clung to his blistered, peeling skin, the state of him worse than Pete had gauged when he'd seen him inside.

A flash moved past him and he shot his arm out, catching Pete around the neck and holding the older man to his chest, ignoring the pain that shot through him as he did so.

"I'll fucking kill you, Michael!" he screamed. "You sick fuck, I'll put you in the ground myself…let go of me!" he shoved at Pete's arm as hard as he could, clambering to get over to the man he had once called his brother.

"No, Pat," Pete spoke directly in to his ear. "You're not like him,"

"He killed my wife," Pat screamed. "He killed my wife!"

"I know," Pete sobbed, holding him tighter, feeling his uncle's body going limp against his own. "I know,"

Pat fell back against him and wept, pulling on his own hair hard enough that Pete was certain he heard it tearing from his scalp. He didn't say anything though, he couldn't. Instead, he just held the man he'd always seen as his father and let him break apart, knowing full well that nothing he did or said in that moment would have any hope of piecing him back together.

Allie sat silently in the Victorian glass house that served as her mother's quantum of solace. The tall glass walls were almost entirely covered with plants that crawled up and spanned across the ceiling, creating another world inside their home. Outside, the faint rain grew heavier, creating a gentle lullaby against the walls around her. Her parents were sat with Moira and Pat in the kitchen and Pete had disappeared upstairs as soon as they'd returned from the police station and had headed wordlessly to her bathroom.

Remnants of the party from the night before were still littered here and there, fairy lights hanging from every tree, the odd champagne flute hidden amongst the flowerbeds. It seemed a million years ago.

"There's my girl,"

Allie blinked and smiled as her mother came around the sofa, stopping to press a kiss to the top of her head before curling up next to her and throwing the blanket she had brought with her over her bare legs.

"Here," she held a mug out to her daughter. "Hot chocolate, caramel syrup and extra whipped cream."

Allie smiled softly and accepted it happily, taking a long sip and frowning when her mother reached out to wipe a smudge of whipped cream from the tip of her nose.

"How is everyone?"

"Moira is asleep," Poppy sighed, placing a hand over her daughters and squeezing it. "Pat…he's with your father but he hasn't spoken a word."

"What are any of us supposed to say?" Allie shook her head. "There's no way of making this better, Mum."

"I know, darling," she nodded, biting her lip thoughtfully. "Sometimes, it isn't about making anything better. It's about holding the people we love while they allow themselves to feel the pain. It's about letting them break and telling them it's ok to do so. We can't make this better…we can't bring Nancy back. But we can protect the people she loved."

Allie looked at her mother for a long moment and let herself bask smugly, not for the first time, in how lucky she was to have the parents she did. Her mother was such an empath, always knowing exactly what to do and say that would make those around her feel at ease. Her father was much the same. However, as she thought back to the man upstairs in her shower, she worried it may not be hereditary.

"These are for Pete," Poppy handed her a bundle of clothes as though reading her mind. "Just go up and sit with him, darling. He'll let you know what he needs,"

"What if I…" Allie gulped and felt tears sting her eyes. "What if I say the wrong thing? He loved Nancy as much as he loves Moira and if I lost you, Pops, I wouldn't be able to-…"

"Darling," Poppy turned and took her daughter's face in her hands, tucking her hair behind her ears. "There are no wrongs and rights here in terms of what we say or do. We just need to protect each other." She smiled softly. "And I am going nowhere, do you hear me?"

Allie nodded wordlessly and launched herself forward, almost spilling her hot chocolate as she enveloped her mother into a bone crushing hug.

"Promise?" she whispered tearfully into her mother's hair.

"I promise, ladybug," Poppy kissed her gently on the forehead and then handed her the pile of clothes, not wanting her daughter to see the tears in her eyes. "Now go and check on your boy,"

Allie nodded slowly, handing her the cup of hot chocolate and clambering out from under the blanket and to her feet, for the first time in her life, feeling afraid at the notion of facing Pete Dunham. He had known such loss, such despair in his short life. And she…

Allie shook her head as she meandered through the large kitchen and out into the foyer where photos of her family and friends hung, almost mockingly in light of what had happened. She was so lucky. She knew it.

Walking briskly up the stairs and into her room, she shivered as she cold wind blew through the room from the open French doors. The sound of running water from her bathroom had ceased but the door remained closed, Pete's bloody and ash ridden clothes strewn about the floor.

"I'll be out in a second," Pete called to her.

She frowned at the sound of his voice. It sounded…normal. Almost light, as though there were a smile in it.

"Tell me you managed to wrangle some posh boy clothes off your brother because I don't fancy my chances in any of your stuff," he laughed.

Allie pushed the bathroom door open and felt her breath catch.

Pete Dunham sat, his back against her cupboard, his forearms resting on his knees as he wept silently. His bright blue eyes seemed even bluer contrasting against the red, raw skin around them. His legs, chest and arms bared by the towel he had wrapped around his waist were covered in bruises and burns, marks she knew would be there in his mind long after they had faded from his skin.

She dropped to her knees so quietly, he barely heard her but there she was in front of him, her ivy green eyes boring into his as tears flooded their depths.

"Pete," she whispered.

"I should 'ave gotten her out, Allie." Pete shook his head. "I didn't do enough. I sat with her and watched her die. I mean what does that make me? I'm as bad as my old man. I sat there and watched her die."

He threw his head back, banging it over and over against the cabinet behind him.

"Why couldn't I do anything? Why did I have to let her die…is this my fault?" he sobbed. "Allie, did I do this?"

"Baby," Allie shook her head, reaching for him and forcing him to meet her eyes. "Look at me, Pete. Please," she sobbed. "You didn't do this; do you hear me? You did everything you could have. Everything. I need you to listen to me, I need you to believe me."

"I watched her die, Allie," Pete wept, his forehead dropping to rest against his knees. "She was like a Mum to me and I watched her die,"

Allie pushed his arms off of his knees and parted his legs, moving between them to pull him into her body. His arms, which had always felt so strong came around her weakly and he pressed his face to her chest, sobbing violently as she held him.

"I'm so sorry, baby," Allie closed her eyes and laid her cheek against the top of his head as he clung to her middle, his hands clawing at her desperately. "I'm so sorry."

She rocked him for what felt like hours, the room growing dimmer around them. Hating herself for it, she pulled back slightly and brushed her thumbs over his cheekbones, her eyes seeking his.

"We need to get you dressed," she whispered gently. "And you need to get some sleep,"

Pete nodded but didn't move, instead sat there and practically let her dress him. Her hands smoothed the grey t-shirt down his body and pulled him to his feet, careful of the burns on his legs as she helped him step into the black sweatpants her mother had given her. She took his hand and led him out of the bathroom, towards the bed which seemed to be calling out to her. She had no idea when she'd last slept. She didn't even know what day it was now.

"I don't…" Pete swallowed hard and shook his head. "I don't wanna be inside."

Allie looked at him, willing herself to know what to say.

"Can we…can we go up onto the roof?" Pete looked at her desperately. "Like we used to?"

She smiled at him, standing on her tiptoes to press a kiss against the corner of his mouth as she reached out and snagged the heavy blanket from the end of her bed, gathering a few pillows with her other hand.

They made their way out onto the balcony and climbed up onto the flat expanse of roof that overlooked the Harding estate. Above them, the London sky was quiet, the odd plane meandering their way through the stars and faint splotches of cloud.

Making their nest as she always did, Allie turned to him, about to ask where he wanted to be when he pulled her to him and dropped to his knees with her in his arms, laying on his back and tucking her under his arm.

"I don't know what happens from here, Allie," Pete whispered to her, his voice so uncertain, so broken that it made her heart hurt.

She tipped her head up to look at him, the handsome, chiselled features of his face, the unearthly blue of his eyes as they met hers, the stars above them reflecting in both of them.

"Well," she smiled softly, tracing his features, assuring herself he was still there. "We're going to watch the sky; you're going to squeeze my hand every time you see a shooting star like you always do. And we're going to fall asleep. And in the morning, when we wake up, whatever it brings, we'll do it together."

He stared down at her, hating himself when yet more tears trailed down his face. God, he loved her. She was his. He thought about how he would feel if he were in Pat's shoes right now. Losing the woman he loved. The thought caused his stomach to ache more than it already did and he shook his head.

"You promise?" he asked her, echoing her own words to her mother only a little while before.

Allie pushed herself up and kissed him slowly, deeply before leaning her forehead against his.

"I promise." She kissed him again. "I'm not going anywhere."

TBC very soon x