Chapter 2: Decision
"I'll have a small cookie dough ice cream with whipped cream please." I told the teenager my same age at the ice cream shop. He smiled and started making my order. I turned to Phoebe as I noticed her texting someone. She looked very confused about the conversation. "Everything OK Pheebs?" I asked. She looked up at me and took a deep breath. "Gerald texted me," she said, and I smirked at her. She shook her head. "No, not like that. He's telling me how Arnold has been texting him about Lila and how they have been fighting since they left." I took a deep breath and watched as the teen continued to make my ice-cream. He handed it over to me and I started to eat it nonchalantly. I felt Phoebe still staring at me. "What?" I said, confused. She grabbed her ice-cream, and we sat down. "Well, don't you feel bad?" She asked. I rolled my eyes. "Feel bad about what exactly? A couple fighting? Couples fight Phoebe. This isn't anything shocking." I shrugged at her. What did she want me to do? To go knock at Arnold's door and tell him I'm here to the rescue? "I mean yeah, but I just feel like Arnold and Lila have gotten worse. I just don't like seeing them fight." She confessed and I looked at her. "The football head got what he wanted. What? Did everyone really think it was going to be a bed of roses the whole time? It's called life. Nothing is perfect. And honestly, I have nothing to say about it. After we spent some time at the ice-cream shop, I headed to Phoebes house to drop her off. We drove most of the time in silence. Most of the time she was texting back and forth with Gerald. Were they still talking about Arnold? I never asked.
To be completely honest, I have been trying my hardest to move on from him. I have loved him since we were in pre-K and to be honest with you, being in love with someone who doesn't see you that way is starting to get old. Don't get me wrong, I still love him. Very much may I add. But I've never had the courage to say anything to him. Not since FTI on the top of that building. We brushed it off and said it was the heat of the moment. But it wasn't the heat of the moment. And I think we both knew that. But neither of us were ready to face the facts. That I was madly in love with him. After that event, Arnold and I continued on the same path as always. I made his life miserable, and he just took it all. I'm not sure at what age everything changed. I finally stopped picking on him and we actually became friends. Were we the best of friends? No. My love for him won't let me get that close. But I knew he was there for me when I needed him, and he knew the same. "Alright, here you go, Pheebs." I said, as I stopped my car right in front of her home. She smiled. "Thank you, Helga. Call me when you get home, please." She stated and I nodded my head. I waited for her to get inside before I drove off.
As I drove home, I started to think about the fact that in September I'm going to go to college. I'll be dorming there, so I'll have a roommate. I was nervous about that. I wasn't the type to trust just anyone. I really tried my hardest to get my own room but by the time I tried, every room was full. I'm not one to have someone in my space. But hey, I guess this is part of the college experience. Finally, at home, I parked my car a few blocks away, I texted Phoebe that I had got home safe and told her goodnight. As I got closer to my house, I noticed someone sitting on the stairs.
As I got closer, I realized who it was. "Arnold?" I said, confused. My heart started pounding. I noticed that he wasn't wearing the same outfit he had on at the party. He now wore blue sweatpants and a green hoodie. When he heard his name, he looked up and gave me a small smile.
"Helga…hey. I'm sorry. I was going to go to Gerald's after I dropped Lila off. But I think he fell asleep. He won't answer my calls." He shrugged. "When I got here your father said you weren't home yet. So, I waited. I hope thats ok." He said, running his hands through his blonde hair. He looked stressed. I didn't know what to say.
Arnold and I have had moments where we have been able to sit and just talk like normal people. But he has never sat in front of my house waiting for me. "Yeah…don't worry about it. Is everything ok?" I asked as I sat down next to him. He looked at me and shook his head. "Nothing is ok. I don't know what to do." He confessed as he lowered his head. He seemed defeated. I felt awkward. I didn't know how to act around him sometimes. This man makes me so nervous. "Is it about Lila?" I asked. "Things have been getting worse with us. Things have changed between us. She makes me become a different person when we fight. And I don't like it. It's not who I am." He confessed. He looked up at me with his green eyes that shined even in the dark of the night. "I think I should end it." He told me. I was shocked. Him break up with Lila? I couldn't even imagine it. He loves that girl. I won't lie and say it didn't make me feel happy when he said those words though. Was that selfish of me? Probably. "Break up with her? Are you sure of that?" I asked. He took a deep breath. "No. I'm not. I love Lila. I really do. But can I really be with someone who I fight with all the time? Does she even love me?" He said, almost talking to himself.
My heart broke for two reasons. One hearing him say he loved Lila and two because he looked so upset. I wish I could just hug him. "I think that's something you really have to think about. Sometimes the people we are with aren't forever. Sometimes they are for seasons. Even friendships." I explained to him. "Four years doesn't seem like a season." He chuckled. I shrugged my shoulders. "Sure, it's been a long time. But if you don't feel right about it anymore, then you have to decide what's best for you. And plus, Lila would be an idiot not to love you anymore." I said and automatically regretted it. What is with me?! Why did I say that? I really have to learn how to control my words. Arnolds' head snapped right in my direction when I said that. "You think so?" He asked with some hope in his eyes. "I mean…I don't know…I mean it's four years football head…. I'm assuming she does." I stuttered. I felt myself starting to sweat. Get it together Helga! "You know what I mean," I added. He looked at me and smirked. "Whatever you say, Helga," he said with a short laugh. I officially can't breathe. "Do what's right for you, Arnoldo. Lila will survive. Plus, like Gerald said, 'College parties and college girls.' I said, even though I wanted to gag when I said it. Arnold stared at me for a few seconds. "Thanks Helga. For hearing me out." He said, touching my shoulder. My whole body shivered. "Yeah…no problem." I said, giving him a small smile. As he got up, I automatically started to feel sad. I wanted him to stay here. I could talk to him for hours. "I think I'm gonna head out. Goodnight Helga…. Thanks again", he said with his hands inside his hoodie. It was a chilly night even though we were a few weeks away from the summer. I got up and started heading up the stairs. "Goodnight football head." I said as he smiled and walked away. As soon as i got inside, I took a deep breath. I didn't realize I was holding it the whole time.
Arnold POV:
I got into my car and drove off after I made sure Helga got into her house safely. This wasn't my usual. Usually, I go to Gerald's house. But he wasn't picking up my phone calls, which frustrated me.
Helga and I had a very weird, complicated relationship. Most wouldn't understand it whatsoever. But the ones close to us do. I've known her my whole life basically. From the first day of kindergarten now to the end of high school. We have had a lot of ups and downs, but one thing about it. We always had each other's backs. Some would say, why are you friends with her? She picked on you your whole childhood. And I simply tell them 'You won't understand.' Sure, she picked on me my whole childhood. But i always saw many different sides of Helga. She's very hard to open up, but when she did, you'd then realize she is one of the most genuine people you'd ever know.
Once I understood her relationship with her family, I then realized why she acted the way she did. Being defensive was her way of covering up how she was really feeling. She thinks she's good at hiding it, but I see right through her. My grandpa has always told me that she acted that way with me specifically because she had feelings for me. He's been stuck on that since that day. And you know what, at one point I believed him. Maybe she did act this way because she had feelings for me. I was totally convinced at one point when we were at the top of the building at FTI. She told me she loved me and kissed me. After that, we both said it was the heat of the moment and moved on from it. Sometimes I wondered if it really was. But once years passed and we grew up. I realized Helga and I were just friends and that's all. And I was perfectly ok with that.
I felt my phone vibrate as I walked up to my bedroom. I turned my radio on and laid on my bed. "Gerald, I've been calling you. What the hell?" I told him, frustrated. "Sorry my boy, I was on the phone with Phoebe." I smiled at this. "Oh, Phoebe really?" I teased. "Nah it's not like that. We are just friends." He explained, and I chuckled "Sure Gerald, hey listen, so I was just with Helga and I-" He cut me off. "With Helga? What do you mean?" He asked. He sounded confused. "Well, you weren't picking up, and I needed advice." I explained to him "So are you going to Pataki? Unbelievable." He said laughing. "What? Helga is a friend. She can't give me advice?" I asked, genuinely confused. I really didn't understand what the problem was. "Sure, Arnold. Sure," he said. I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to go to sleep. I'll talk to you later." I told him feeling myself falling asleep. "Alright, goodnight." He said and hung up. I needed to figure out what I wanted to do. I didn't want to end it with Lila, but maybe our season was over like Helga said. This thought made me sad. As hard as the realization was. Helga might just be right.