A/N: Back from my brief Chat Blanc interlude and on to our regularly scheduled Shadrien!
Adrien closed the door to his room softly before walking over to the other bedroom. Seeing her lying in his bed in her ill-fitting clothing had brought on a suspicion that he hoped to disprove. He hesitated at the door before walking into Shady's bedroom.
Her room was messy, books strewn about and the bed unmade.
No dirty clothing, however.
He was an idiot. How had he missed that?
Adrien walked over to the dresser, nudging one drawer out just an inch, trying to preserve some privacy while ignoring the fact that he was already invading her space by coming in.
More books.
He checked only one more, but it was full of the same.
It was one thing hearing it from Tikki, but having it confirmed in this small way that she didn't spend any real time outside the suit made his heart clench.
He'd let himself believe that all the time he'd spent away from her had been good for her, allowing her some time to be herself without having to hide her identity. When the reality was she must have snuck around the city transformed and… well, he didn't know what she must have done with her time.
Adrien walked out of her room, shutting the door and pulling out his phone. His finger hovered over Marinette's contact card, mind whirling. If his suspicions had been correct that Claw was himself, then the fact that Marinette in the other universe was Shadybug meant…
The Marinette he knew might be Ladybug. He took just a moment to mull over that revelation. It truly did make sense, suddenly seeming obvious as he thought the conclusion through. Smiling slightly, Adrien sent her a text, asking if she could bring some spare clothes in the morning. She responded quickly with a simple, "Of course." The fact that she hadn't asked for further explanation seemed to cement his suspicions further.
He'd deal with that later.
Unwilling to go too far and miss Shay waking up, Adrien walked over to the couch. Noticing a crumpled up paper on the floor, he paused and picked it up, flattening it out. He stopped breathing as he took in the black and white photo.
It was a picture of a sonogram.
The clear outline of a baby stood out against the black background, and Adrien couldn't tear his eyes away. He hadn't truly considered the reality of the situation, not with how caught up he had been with finding Shay and trying to make sure she was safe.
Finally breathing again, Adrien traced over the image's tiny nose and mouth. He felt shocked to see the baby so well-defined; Shay must have been further along than he'd originally assumed; it was a thought that sent a sliver of worry through him, knowing he hadn't even noticed she was pregnant when he'd held her in his arms earlier.
Near the top of the photo, he saw the words "Baby Tikki." Adrien let out a soft laugh, wondering how that had happened.
Holding back the tears that suddenly threatened to escape, Adrien carefully folded the photo, sticking it in his pocket.
Glancing at the couch, Adrien decided there was no way he was going to be able to sleep.
He went into the kitchen to cook instead.
Only an hour or two passed before he heard her muffled voice calling out for her Kwami in an increasingly frantic way.
Adrien quickly walked over to the door and knocked. "Shay? Are you awake?" Silence met his statement.
He opened his mouth to say something else when she hissed out, "Go away!"
With a sigh, Adrien rested his forehead on the door. "Shay, you don't have to hide. I know you're Marinette. Please, we need to talk."
More silence.
"Where are my earrings?"
"Your Kwami has them. She said she'll come back when you've eaten and gotten some sleep. I made some food for you; can I bring it in?"
"...what did you make?" Her voice came out tired and less harsh.
"Uh…" Adrien looked back to the kitchen, where he'd stacked tupperware containers of pancakes, muffins, croissants (store-bought, he hadn't learned how to make them from scratch just yet), tartines with nutella, and quiche. "...a little bit of everything?"
"Of course you did." He could hear the hint of amusement in her voice. He thought he heard her sigh. "A muffin is fine."
Adrien ran across the room to grab one and returned quickly, opening the door.
Shay was sitting against the headboard of the bed, blanket covering her. Her head was down, hair hiding her face from him as he sat next to her and held out the mini muffin.
Sighing, she took the proffered muffin, nibbling on it.
Slowly, Adrien moved further on the bed until he was sitting next to her.
"I didn't know you were struggling so much, Marinette," Adrien said quietly, voice filled with regret. "I'm so sorry. I should have noticed."
"Don't apologize, Blondie," she said in a low voice. "Not your fault I hid it from you. But don't… don't call me that name." Her words came out with a hint of pain as she stared down at the remains of her small meal.
Adrien reached over, taking the empty wrapper from her hand and tossing it to the ground. Then he slowly moved his hand over to hers. She jerked her hand back slightly, then went still, allowing him to thread his fingers through hers.
"Don't go back, Shay," Adrien said, voice cracking slightly with emotion as he finally voiced the thought he'd been keeping in for weeks now, made even more important by the day's events. "Please. Stay here. You're safe here."
"I suppose Claw told you?" she asked, turning her head to meet his gaze for the first time. She looked exhausted and resigned, and Adrien found himself surprised again to be looking at another version of Marintette.
Not wanting to reveal his own identity as Chat Noir just yet, Adrien nodded. "He told me you wanted to go back. And about…" he swallowed. "About the baby."
He squeezed her hand, but she pulled away with a groan, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes.
Adrien rushed to speak. "You're not in this alone, Shay. Let me help you."
Shady dropped her hands, glaring. "I was supposed to be helping you not get taken advantage of, then I went and did it myself."
"You didn't take advantage of me," Adrien insisted. "I'm fully capable of making my own decisions, and I chose to be with you. I have just as much responsibility as you in this."
"You don't need to ruin your life just because mine is a mess."
"This isn't going to ruin my life, I–"
Not listening to him, Shady interrupted. "I knew you were going to do this.You always sacrifice your own desires for everyone else. You–"
He cut her off. "You're wrong. I'm not sacrificing anything. I love you, Shay," Adrien said with intensity, leaving her staring at him with wide eyes. He took her hand in his once again, looking into her eyes and willing her to understand. "Being with you is what I desire."
Shady's shock slowly shifted into pain. "You can't love me," she whispered. "You don't know me, not really." She gestured at herself with one hand.
"I know enough, Shay. And I want to know more, to understand why you're hurting." He brought a hand to her cheek, wiping away an escaped tear.
Her usually-tough facade seemed to crack, her voice small. "No one who has known all of me has cared."
Her pain resonated within him, a heaviness weighing down his heart. "Then let me be the first who does."
She let out a choking noise, and Adrien couldn't hold back any longer, sliding his arm behind her and pulling her against him. Shay allowed him, curling against his chest as he lifted her over his legs and into his lap.
He held her there as she cried, until she eventually fell asleep.
Adrien woke up, wincing at the pain in his neck due to falling asleep at an odd angle. Realizing that Shay was still asleep against him, he smiled slightly, pain forgotten.
Worth it.
She eventually shifted, waking up. Her grip on him momentarily tightened.
"Good morning," Adrien said, moving his hand gently up and down her arm.
She groaned as she pushed herself up from his chest. "Fuck, everything hurts."
Eyes widening, Adrien extricated himself from her and the blanket and stood up. "Let me get you some water and more food."
"No, I can–" Shady grunted as she moved to get off the bed too, but before she could stand she winced, holding her head. "Tikki?" she called out hopefully. When no response came, she let herself fall back. "God, I'm pathetic right now."
"Hold on." Adrien left the room, grabbing some more food and a cup of water. He took it all back, placing them on the side table before leaving again, stopping in the bathroom to grab some pain meds before heading to the front door. He opened it, relieved to see a small bag of clothes waiting by the door.
Thank you, my lady.
Taking it with him, he returned once more to find Shady sitting up again, drinking the water. He handed her the pills, which she downed quickly. She looked up at him. "Sorry about last night. I usually have a better check on my emotions. But I'm not used to… being untransformed for this long."
Uncertain exactly what it was she was apologizing for, Adrien took her hand and squeezed. "I brought you some clothes. I'm not sure if they'll fit, but hopefully they'll work for now. You should eat something, too."
She eyed the table with the food. "Not feeling too hot right now."
"Please?" he asked entreatingly. "At least something small?"
Sighing, she reached over and grabbed the half a banana he had brought in.
Adrien took a chance and pushed a little more. "If you feel up for it, you can use my shower. I can leave these clothes here for you and come back, give you some privacy."
"No, you can stay here." She eyed the clothes as though they might come alive and attack her, before snatching the bag and carrying it and the banana with her to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
Adrien got ready himself, hearing the shower eventually turn on and off.
When she didn't emerge for a while, he hesitantly went to the door and knocked lightly. "You alright, Shay?"
She didn't respond at first, but just as Adrien grew worried and wondered if he should check on her, her voice reached him. "Do you have a hoodie? These clothes suck."
"Yeah, hold on–" Adrien grabbed one from his closet and opened the bathroom door. Her arm snaked through the gap and snatched it from him, the door slamming back shut.
A few minutes later, she came out wearing the borrowed sweats from the bag and his hoodie, the sight of which sent a strange flutter through his chest. With her hair wet and face free from the makeup, she was much more recognizable as Marinette.
She met his gaze briefly before looking down, her hand shoved in the pocket of the hoodie. "Thanks, Goldilocks."
He smiled faintly before backing up to the door. "Want to come with me out here?"
She followed as they walked out to the couch in the living room, Shay curling up in the corner. She looked at the table before turning a glare on him. "Is that all supposed to be for me?" Multiple plates of food sat on the surface where Adrien had lined them up.
"Not just for you," Adrien said, reaching forward to grab a croissant. "But you should eat something else."
"I'm not hungry."
"Maybe later then? Your Kwami said–"
Shady interrupted him, voice irritated. "Who are you, my caretaker?"
Adrien reddened, stammering, "I– I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep. I just want to do what I can."
The irritation fell away from her expression as she groaned and cursed, dropping her head into her hands. "No, don't apologize; I'm just being a bitch, I'm sorry. I'm just not… not used to it." She leaned forward and grabbed a container of cashews, bringing it into her lap. She didn't eat any, simply staring into the cup instead.
Adrien hesitated before moving down the couch until he was right beside her. "You know all about my life. Would you like to tell me about yours?"
Shay took a slow breath. "I don't know where to begin," she mumbled.
Reaching over to take one of her hands in his, Adrien said, "How about at the start?"
Shay began talking in fits and bursts as Adrien listened and filled in the blanks with guesses of his own.
He learned that unlike the Sabine and Tom of his world, this Marinette's parents treated her very harshly growing up, expecting perfection, and were not afraid to hold back their disappointment when she didn't stack up.
From a very young age she had been bullied by 'family friend' Chloe Bourgeois, whom her parents adored. Marinette had often been made to spend time with the girl, learning early on to develop an angry wall around her other emotions in order to preserve herself. Classmates often followed Chloe's suit, making fun of Marinette or avoiding her completely. She struggled with self-confidence in school, and did not make friends throughout her years, due in part to her parents' ridicule of anyone she tried to bring over.
Except for one, for a brief time. When she was younger, Adrien Agreste had begun visiting her parent's bakery with his bodyguard, and they had somehow been able to talk without her parents' interference. Once her parents had caught on, however, they put a stop to it, sending her into the back every time he came in. Eventually, she stopped seeing him at all, adding him to the list of people who had failed her.
Right before turning 18, Marinette caught the attention of the Supreme, who entrusted her with the miraculous of creation as long as she did what he desired.
Marinette had jumped at the chance to escape, leaving her parents' home immediately after graduation as she put everything towards her new purpose in life.
Shadybug relished in the newfound power and abilities. She didn't balk at what she was asked to do, thrilled to find she was good at something. With no parents to tell her she was doing terribly, Shady grew into the role, though she had no place to go when she wasn't Shadybug. With no desire to go home and no friends to stay with, Marinette resorted to stealing food and clothes, sneaking into various places to sleep. She discovered that as long as she had something to feed Tikki, she could spend less and less time as Marinette.
It took nearly a year for her to realize that eating and sleeping while transformed didn't work to replenish her body as Marinette.
She found she didn't care, trying to separate herself from her civilian identity completely.
Claw Noir joined her not long after that, and Shadybug found herself extremely annoyed by him and how he hadn't seemed to really want his miraculous. She'd needed to show him the ropes, until something finally changed and he became annoying in a new way, excited to be able to fight with her. She had to work extra hard to hide her nonexistent civilian life, trying to push him away so he would quit bothering her incessantly. They'd eventually found a balance, working together well over the years.
Shay didn't have much to add after reaching that point, her life growing increasingly more boring, according to her, as she had very little to occupy her time. Which brought her to the present.
Adrien was no therapist, but he listened intently as she poured everything out to him.
By the time she finished, she was leaning against him in the corner of the couch.
He laid his cheek against the top of her head. "I'm so sorry you went through all of that alone, Shay. I can't imagine…" He trailed off, the inaccuracy of the statement blocking his words. The truth was that in one way, he could imagine it; there had been times over the past several years that, fed up with his father and the restrictions on his life, he'd considered leaving Adrien Agreste behind for Chat Noir. But it would have been nothing compared to Shady's situation. Even if he shared her history of no friends growing up, he had no lifelong bully, and merely an inattentive, pushy father. Not to mention all the friends he'd gained at school.
She moved her head closer into him, leaning her cheek against his chest. "It became easier, after a time, to ignore everything else. I didn't pay attention to the fact that it was getting worse, staying transformed. I had no reason to try to fix it."
He held her tightly. "Is it too much to hope that you've found some reason to, here? I know you don't think so, but you have made some friends. Nino likes you, Alya thinks you're awesome." He skipped over mentioning Marinette, even though she had come around eventually. It was another thing that made sense now that he knew both of their identities. "And, there's me," he finished, uncertainty tinting his words.
He still didn't know exactly how she felt about him.
She used her arm to prop herself up against him, looking at him with narrowed eyes. "You say that like you aren't the entire reason I decided that switching sides long term wasn't a terrible idea. Well," she amended, twisting more to lean against the back of the couch, "–you and Chat."
Warmth trickled through him at her words. At her last one, however, he let out a nervous chuckle. "You don't say?"
"Mmhmm. I didn't care for Red for obvious reasons, but gotta admit the cat grew on me." Her eyes went distant. "I guess you could add him to my short list of friends here."
Guilt gnawed through Adrien's insides at that, eating away the happiness he felt at her statement. "Uh, about that…"
Shady's eyes cleared as they shifted to his. "Don't tell me you have a problem with that, Sunshine? You don't have to share; it's not like that."
Turning red, Adrien cleared his throat. "No, no. That's not– what if…what if two of those people on that list were actually…only one person?" He winced as he finished, watching her reaction.
Shay stared at him a moment, her eyes widening slightly as her eyes wandered across his face. Then she let out a chuckle, which turned into another, until she was full out laughing. Uncertain whether to feel offended or amused, Adrien waited until she finally looked back up at him, her eyes dancing. "And here I thought you were a terrible liar, Buttercup."
He laughed, feeling relieved. "You've made it a challenge, that's for sure. You never wanting to show up on time for patrols made it hard to leave. Ladybug was always ticked at me."
"Oh, I wish I had found out on my own. I would have had so much fun torturing you." Her smile deepend with mischief. "In more ways than one. Well, before…" Her smile slowly faded as something must have occurred to her. She released a breath in a slight groan, closing her eyes and bringing her hand to squeeze the bridge of her nose. "Damn it. Claw didn't tell you about me; I did." Her eyes opened back up as she gave him a pained look. "I'm sorry, Adrien. I didn't mean to leave you like I did on that roof. I wouldn't have if I'd known it was you. Probably," she tacked on with a grimace, looking away.
Adrien took her hand, rubbing circles on it with his thumb. "I went to Ladybug to get her help, after I tried to find you. She found Claw, I think. She knows who I am, now."
She looked back at him suddenly. "Hold on, if you're Chat Noir, does that mean that Claw is…" Her eyes widened as the realization hit her. "Can't believe it. Thought I hadn't seen him since we were young." A hint of anguish appeared again as she focused back on him. "Did he see me like…" she gestured to herself, and Adrien nodded somberly. "God, now you both know what a mess I am." Her eyes went far away. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "For yesterday. I panicked." Then her face twisted and she dropped it into her hands. "Fuck! I nearly broke my promise to Red, in the worst possible way."
Adrien didn't need to prompt her to elaborate, as she lifted her head again and continued. "I told her when she found out about us that I would find the least hurtful way for you when I had to leave. I thought… I thought that's what I was doing. I didn't know it was you. I'm so sorry."
Adrien gently pulled her back against him, ignoring the remembered panic that he'd felt at the time. "You're here now. Do you…want to talk about the baby?"
She took in a ragged breath. "I don't know how to be a mother. My life is so messed up."
"You don't have to go back," Adrien said quietly. "You can make a new life for yourself here. I can help. Not that I know much more than you about being a good parent," he said, wryly. "But I'd want to be here with you, if you wanted to try. If you don't…well, we can figure that out too." He tried not to think about that possibility too much. "We can take things day by day."
Shay sighed. "Day by day might be the best I can do."
Something moved in the periphery of Adrien's vision, taking his attention away. Shay turned in his lap, laying against the couch again.
Tikki and Plagg flew slowly through the room, hovering in the air across from them.
Adrien saw the look of relief on Shay's face before her gaze hardened, her hand extended out in wait.
Tikki didn't move forward, looking at her holder with a soft expression. "I'm sorry I left you, but you needed time to recover. You still do."
Shay's eyes relaxed slightly, weariness setting in. "I know."
Stubbornness flashed through the Kwami's expression. "When I give these back, you need to do better and take care of yourself. You're not the only one you'd be hurting, now. You have a responsibility; someone else to take care of." Tikki looked down pointedly to her midsection, hidden beneath the baggy hoodie.
Shady's gaze filled with resignation combined with something else– something softer, perhaps? "I will."
Floating over, Tikki dropped the earrings into her waiting hand. Fumbling slightly, Shay rushed to put them back in her ears. When she finished, she sat frozen in Adrien's lap a moment, meeting his gaze with a hint of uncertainty.
Then she grabbed the forgotten cashew tin, dumping some into her mouth.
After she swallowed, she climbed off of him. "One day at a time."
She transformed.
A/N: More reveals, tragic backstory, together again! Shoot me a review if you liked!