A/N: Sorry for the delay on this chapter! These last few weeks have been pretty busy! April is going to be really busy for me with traveling, so I am not sure if I will be able to make time for writing much, but I will update the story as soon as I can!
Warning: This chapter contains non-con elements but gets soft and heartwarming halfway through!
Chapter 43
Present Day – Day 44
Asami is on autopilot for the rest of the day. She vaguely remembers Hawks giving her a tight hug before leaving the closet. She sat there for a while, feeling hot and limbs shaking at the circumstances she's been placed in. How could this happen? Why her?
Between All For One and the Hero Commission, her options are terrible. She cannot trust that All For One will hold up his end of the deal and give Touya a Quirk that will provide him resistance to fire. She knows that her agreement with him doesn't change his current appearance, but Touya is in constant pain caused by his Quirk and body fighting one another. He may not tell her that he's in pain, but she can see it in his eyes. She can see the constant discomfort staining his face and the micromovements in his nose and brows every time he shifts around her. He's hurting every moment of the day and if this deal gives him some reprieve from that, who is she to turn it down?
But this path leads to the death of so many; including Shouto. How could the Public Hero Safety Commission be so desperate for foot soldiers that they turn to high school students as fodder to their enemies? With Dabi on the battlefield, those students have less of a chance surviving his flames. But if Hawks can convince the Commission to pardon him then he won't have to fight. They can provide the two of them with a life of normalcy with this pardon. Sure, Touya will be in pain from his Quirk, but he won't need to use it if he's been granted sanctuary. This option may not lead to the happiness of the rest of the League, and she's worried what fate has in store for them if the Commission gets their way, but she's sure the heroes will work to rehabilitate them. She knows Twice and Shigaraki will fight mercilessly, but maybe she can smooth it over with them. No one has to fight in this war. No one has to die.
But will Dabi even take the pardon? He doesn't seem keen on having a life with his family, having fantasized about killing his father and Shouto for years, but things are different now? He wants a better life with her. So maybe he will consider this option and have that life with her. They can have it all this way.
Asami holds onto her head as she enters her room. Her skull is splitting with all these options and all she can think about is laying down and taking a rest. This has by far been one of the most stressful moments of her life and all she can think about now is turning off her brain and going to sleep. It will be a decision for another day.
Asami strips herself of her clothes, smelling the distinct aroma of Hawks cling onto the fabric. It's a heartbreaking scent that latches onto her. His fresh breezy scent once elicited a sense comfort and safety when he was around her. Every time she smelled his cool scent, she felt like she was home.
Now, she doesn't know what to feel as she sheds her blouse and bunches it in a ball to discard it somewhere Dabi will not find. She missed Hawks so much and seeing his face again shattered her resolve and she wanted nothing more than to embrace him, but the reality crashed into her like a brick wall; she can't be with him as she once was, things have changed and she doesn't know what to do anymore.
Asami places a pair of shorts and a tank top on and crawls into her cold bed. She's forgotten how cold things are without Dabi's body around to heat her up. She shivers as the cool blankets latch onto her exposed skin. She takes in a deep breath and nuzzles her head against the pillow. Less than a minute later, Asami's exhausted mind is dreaming.
Dabi peaks his head into the bedroom, turquoise eyes scanning the area until they land on the lump in the bed. His heart stops racing so fast when his sight lands on her. He's been looking for her for a while, but didn't expect her in bed so early. He can hear the soft breathing coming from the mound of blankets to indicate that she's in a deep sleep.
Dabi contemplates leaving her to sleep but then he also thinks about how great she looked in that tight skirt of hers today. He figures he could wake her up with something nice, exhaust her a bit more, and then head to an early sleep himself.
He sheds his overcoat and tosses it somewhere on the ground. He kicks off his boots and unzips his pants, relieving the strain but keeping them on for now.
He heads to her side of the bed, glancing down at her to see her in a deep sleep. Her lips twitch and her lashes flutter at whatever has her preoccupied in her dreams. She's so far in her sleeping state that he might even be able to fuck her without waking her.
He's woken her up countless times with his fingers on her clit, sometimes he's even able to sheath himself inside her before she stirs awake. Each time she finds herself enjoying it, so the question of consent doesn't bother him even though they've never outright spoken about it.
He pats her head softly and she doesn't respond to his touch in any way. A grin plasters on his face as he lifts the sheets from her body and treks his fingers down her frame. He softly brushes his fingertips over her neckline, down her breasts, past her navel and settles between her legs.
He wastes no time prying at the fabric of her shorts and underwear, moving them to the side and gliding his fingers over the folds of her pussy. She's so deep in her dreams that she doesn't respond to his touch and he continues to pry at her. He feels himself getting hard as her folds begin dampening at his touch and he continues his ministrations on her.
Once his fingers plunge into her does she begin stirring awake, but this does not deter him as he continues to pump and curl his fingers upwards inside her. He pries at her sex, searching for her g-spot which will undoubtedly wake her from her slumber. With Dabi's free hand, he pulls his hardening cock from the confinement of his jeans and begins pumping himself for preparation.
He can't find her slippery spot, and his cock is aching too much to wait, so he figures he'll find it through other means. He smiles to himself as he lifts onto the bed. He doesn't even take off his shirt or pants as he's too eager to plunge himself inside her. He lowers his jeans down his hips and lines his cock to her glistening folds. He hooks her panties and shorts to the side with his thumb, knowing how much she hates it when he burns them, so he decides not to be petty this time.
He plunges himself inside her with a single hard thrust that has her eyes shooting open. "Hey there, sleepy head," his voice grunts as her eyes find his.
"What are you doing?" her voice cracks with a panic and it's not a tone he quite expected from her.
"Go back to sleep Butterfly, I've got you handled here," he smirks down at her as he continues to pump inside her.
"Dabi, what the fuck!" her tone loudens as she lifts her hands to his chest and pushes up off of her. He falls back on his knees, unsheathing from her sex with a confused look in his eyes.
She glares up at him, her brows tangling together as a slight snarl reaches her lips and wrinkled nose. "What the fuck were you doing?"
"Whatdya mean?" he asks her in a confused tone. "I was just—"
He stops when he sees the tightness in her shoulders as she curls into herself and hugs her biceps. Dabi blinks away the incredulous look in his eyes as a more remorseful one takes over his expression. "Hey, Butterfly, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I just thought—"
"Why is it always sex with you?" she questions him harshly as her tone spits out venom. Dabi's lips detach involuntarily as he stares at her with a baffled look in his eyes. "All you ever want from me is sex," she snaps at him.
"What are you talking about?" he lets out.
Asami hugs herself even tighter, feeling violated with everything that's happened today. Between All For One burrowing his ideas in her head, Hawks returning when she came to terms with never seeing him again, and the Commission expecting her to open her legs for information, she feels vile having Dabi on top of her. She feels like it's no longer her choice to sleep with him, but more of an elaborate ruse to gain the upper hand on him. She came to terms with who he was. She broke down her walls to allow him in and hold control over their relationship. But now, she's doing the exact opposite of what he wanted and needed back then, and strips the control away from both of them. She's now given the reigns to the commission and allowed herself to become a slave to their desires. She's allowed the haunting words of All For One to plague her mind of what's best for Touya. And in return, she's pushing him away.
"All you want me for is sex. You don't talk to me and you don't care about me on a deeper level than that."
Her voice is weak as she speaks her lies to him. She knows it's not always about sex with him, and they do speak to one another about a multitude of things when they aren't intimate with one another. She just doesn't know what else to say. She feels vile and repulsed with herself for having him near her with the commission's expectations itching at the back of her head, and the last thing she wants is to have him inside her while she pries information out of him.
Her flimsy excuse crumbles before her as the look in Dabi's eyes goes from confused to outright annoyed. "The fuck are you talking about?" he asks her, knowing damn well his intentions with her are clearly more than sexual. "What the fuck did that crusty ass bastard plant in your head?" he asks, immediately pinning the blame on Shigaraki.
She looks away from him, unable to look him in the eyes as she outright lies to get him away from her. She can't be near him feeling this disgusted with herself, and she needs to come up with some excuse to get him to leave.
She lifts herself into a seated position and hugs her knees close to her chest. Her eyes never once reach his as she continues, "You never try to get to know more about me. Every time you come in here you just pry open my legs and fuck me. It feels like that's all I am to you."
They aren't words meant for him, and part of her wonders if they are the words that she wished she spoke to Hawks in the last few months of their relationship. In the beginning he cared so much about picking her brain and getting to know everything about her, but as they got more comfortable with one another, that diminished and she became a certainty he could rely on when he needed a release.
Things with Touya were different. He held her close after every intimate moment together, he relied on her for sleep. She'd rest her head on his patchwork chest as he told her his side of their childhood. He told her of his feelings for her when they were smaller and reassured her that back then, she was always on his mind. So, this excuse was—
"Bullshit," Dabi's harsh words pull her eyes to his. "That's fucking bullshit and you know it."
Her eyes tumble away from his harsh gaze. "They're my feelings, Touya, you can't devalue them," she says so meekly and he shakes his head at her with complete disbelief.
"Where is this coming from?" he asks her with a building annoyance. "What the fuck did Shigaraki say to you?"
"Why do you keep bringing up Shigaraki, this has nothing to do with him."
"Because this suddenly became an issue after you went off with him. What the hell happened while you were gone?"
"Nothing," she says hugging her knees tighter against her chest, knowing that she can't tell him the truth for fear of All For One listening in or Dabi reacting adversely to the realization that she and Hawks met up.
He lifts his hand to brush her cheek and she flinches away from him. The sight makes Dabi retract his hand from her as if he touched something scalding. The image burrows in his head as he sees his mother flinching from his father's reach. What the fuck happened?
She's reacting so adversely to him that he doesn't know what to say or do. He can see his mother now curled up before him, crying in the same position she's in after his father beat and abused the ever-living shit out of her. Is this how she feels? Did he go too far crawling inside her while she slept?
Did I just fucking rape her like my bastard father?
"Butterfly… I…" her eyes stay fixated on a loose piece of thread on the cover next to her. He follows her line of sight and frowns as he watches her disassociate just like his mother did.
His mouth dries and he swallows harshly. She doesn't want him here, it's painfully obvious in the tightening of her shoulders and grasping of her knees that she doesn't want him near her. He violated her trust in him.
He lifts himself off of the bed, pulling at his clothes and dressing himself quickly. Her eyes remaining on the loose thread the entire time.
"I'm sorry," his voice croaks out. "I didn't mean…" His tone falls short when he sees that its not helping her loosen her tightened body. No further words or explanations can remedy this situation. He's royally fucked up.
Dabi decides what's best now is to give her the space she needs away from him, so he heads for the door. Asami shuts her eyes as tears fall down her cheeks, desperate to scream and shout to him that the last thing she wants right now is for him to leave. But she remains quiet and shuts her eyes tightly when she hears the door latch shut.
Present Day – Day 48
It's been four days since the incident with Dabi, and he and Asami haven't spoken since. He's kept his distance from her, allowing her the space he believes she needs, while she buries herself in her work for the MLA to make the public believe they are more equipped than they are. With the narrative she's peddling, the Commission won't have any professional heroes agreeing to a battle against them, let alone students.
When she's not working, Asami keeps her mind from thinking by getting back into running. She's always loved running and the relief it gives her mind and body, so getting back into the groove of things relaxes her nerves.
There are times when she's on her morning runs that she forgets she's ever been captured and this shit storm is unraveling around her. When she's running, she's back to her mundane life of working for Endeavor where nothing exciting or out of her control ever happened to her. The fantasy comes crashing down when Twice or Toga's energetic personalities reel her back into the reality of her situation.
She hasn't seen Hawks since their last connection, but she has spotted a few of his feathers hiding here and there as a calling card to her. Should she ever need to meet, all she needs to do is grab a feather and they will meet in the closet they first connected in. She hasn't gotten any valuable information from her time working with Skeptic and Trumpet, nor has she used her connection with the League to pull information out of them. For the time being, she just wants to pretend she has a normal life not full of lies and espionage.
She hasn't seen Dabi at all in the four days that have passed and she wonders where he spends his days. She figures he's managed to find some missions with the Violet Regiment that are taking up his days, while his nights are spent alone in his room. She wonders if he is doing alright. She knows that he doesn't sleep well without her, and if he's not sleeping well, he puts himself at risk in the field. She's so worried about him, but she doesn't even know what to say to him. She saw how heartbroken she made him when they last spoke. She saw the look in his eyes when he left her room, and she isn't sure how to face him.
She spends most of her days instead with Twice and Toga, faking a smile and feigning happiness while her mind is elsewhere. She needs to make her move sooner rather than later. Either she persuades Dabi to fight in the upcoming battle with the heroes, or convince him of a pardon and gather information to feed the commission. Whatever route she takes, her first step is to reconnect with Dabi.
Present Day –Day 50
Asami sits on her bed bending down to lace her black tennis shoes for her morning run. She's wearing black high-waisted leggings and a teal crop top. Her purple hair is pulled back in a long ponytail that falls down her shoulders to the middle of her back.
She finishes up tying the laces on her shoes when she hears a soft knocking on her door. She looks up with a pensive look on her face at who it could be. She knows Hawks isn't stupid enough to visit her in her room, plus the knocks were different from his signature four knocks.
She lifts herself from her bed and heads to the door. She opens it slightly, peaking her head from the crack to see who awaits her on the other side. She blinks back her shock and opens the door wider when she sees that it's Dabi. She's surprised because he never knocks when he comes to her room and always just helps himself in. She's shocked he's even here, let alone knocking on her door.
He looks guilty as he stands in the hallway, head down in shame as his eyes refuse to look at her. He's not in his typical attire and instead adorns a black hoodie and black washed jeans.
She waits for him to explain his presence but when he doesn't, she finally speaks up over the awkwardness that's built between them. "Hey," she says with a simple voice.
Dabi's jaw tenses slightly as his eyes remain fixated on the ground. "I'm headed out of the compound. Thought you could use the break and come with me?" It's a question and an appeal all at the same time. She wonders what he would do if she says no to his request, but she doesn't want to.
"Yeah, that sounds nice," her voice softly responds and he finds the strength to look at her. "I'll get my hat," she turns from him grabbing the hat he likes to slap on her head every time they leave the compound as well as a light black zip-up jacket. "Shall we go now?" she asks him with a tilt of her head.
His eyes are slightly widened and he looks honestly shocked that she'd agree to go out with him so easily after their last encounter. He nods wordlessly to her and she follows behind him.
Asami isn't sure what Dabi has in store for them on this outing. He's only ever taken her outside of the compound once, with the first and only occurrence being the time she saw Fuyumi and went to the Todoroki family home against his wishes. That seemed like a lifetime ago. She isn't sure how he can trust her on the outside again.
Their entire trip to wherever they're going is made in silence. Neither Asami nor Dabi speak to one another as they remain in the car together. Asami's head is cranked to the side as she looks out the window while Dabi's attention is fixated on the road. She begins to recognize her surroundings to find that they are approaching Musutafu.
She turns her head to him as his eyes remain on the road, but she sees his hands grip the wheel tighter.
"We're in Musutafu?" she voices quietly.
Dabi takes a deep breath and keeps his eyes looking forward. "I'm sorry about how things panned out," he begins. "I thought it'd be nice to go somewhere just the two of us."
"Where are we going?"
Dabi doesn't answer her, and instead he turns the corner and parks the car. Asami looks out the window to see them in a parking lot. Her eyes scan her surroundings when they land on the large Ferris wheel in the horizon. Her eyes widen and glisten as Dabi watches her react to the realization of where they are.
"Touya," her voice quakes with a soft whine as she swoons at the sight. It's the same Ferris wheel they rode together as children.
"I wanted to get you out of the compound and take you somewhere," he shrugs, "This was the best place I could think of."
"This is perfect," she smiles sheepishly as she opens the car door and heads out of the vehicle. He follows behind her as they enter the threshold of the ticket booth.
Dabi places a black mask on his face to cover the scarring of his lower mouth, lifting his hood over his head, and puts on sunglasses to cover his eyes. Asami looks at him, seeing that he's not as inconspicuous as he may think he is. She lowers the brim of her hat over her brows and they both keep their head down as he pays for their tickets and they enter the fair.
Asami can't help the wide smile that touches her lips as she looks around at all the games, food stands, and rides. She's so overwhelmed that she doesn't know where to start.
They begin playing some rigged carnival games designed on making the patron lose every time, but Touya has learned how to hack them in order to win. He's quickly gathering tickets after tickets and she's reminded of how angry she was when she was younger at this same talent of his. Back then he was taking tickets away from her and her stupid boyfriend, but now he's collecting them for her. It doesn't take him long to get enough to win her a prize.
They go to the prize booth and she looks at all her options. She can see how tense he is in her peripheral when they enter the booth. It's filled to the brim with hero merchandise of Endeavor, Hawks, and others. She glances over at him and leans into his ear. "We don't have to—"
"Pick any prize you want, Butterfly," he speaks over her, not allowing the images of his abusive father or her hero boyfriend to ruin this day for them. Back then, he forgot to get her a prize with all the tickets he won for her, he won't make that same mistake this time.
She turns her tickets in exchange for a modest sized plush Best Jeanist. He didn't get enough tickets to get her a plushie the size of her like he did when he was a kid, but it's probably for the best she doesn't walk back into the villainous compound with a life sized Best Jeanist on her hip.
Dabi looks at her inquisitively for her choice in hero and she answers his questioning look. "He was really nice to me when I came onto the scene. He's a genuine hero; easily one of my favorites."
Dabi does everything in his power to not give off a yikes impression on his face as his own words come reeling into the back of his head demanding Hawks to kill the Number Three Hero. She probably hasn't heard of his absence, nor would she know about his death at the hands of her hero boyfriend at the behest of her villain lover. What a fucking mess.
Once the exchange is completed, Asami and Dabi walk in tandem around the fair. Asami hugs the plushie close to her stomach for comfort as they walk between the games and food vendors. She notices that he walks stiffly next to her, hands dug deeply in his jacket pockets and shoulders tight. He wants to hold her and hug her close to his body, but after her false words to him, he doesn't want to overstep.
Asami lets out a satisfied sigh and steps towards Dabi. She rubs her shoulder against his biceps as she moves closer to him. A soft smile touches Dabi's lips behind his mask and he pulls his hand out of his pocket and wraps his arm around her shoulder, hugging her tightly against his warm body. She nuzzles her face in his chest and embraces his hold. She feels so safe in his arms as they walk amongst the fair.
After indulging themselves in greasy carnival food and playing a few more games, Dabi has a final surprise for her. He leads her to their next destination and when they reach the line, the smile on her face cannot be contained. She looks up at the Ferris wheel shining in the soft light of the sun setting sky.
She thinks about the last time they were here and how she was being a brat for her stupid boyfriend. She remembers the kiss Touya gave her to make her feel better, and it was so romantic and perfect. She thinks about how this entire day has been romantic and shown her just how good Dabi can be.
Asami thinks about how nice it would have been to have Fuyumi and Natsuo here with them. She can imagine all the laughs they would share as Touya destroys Natsuo in every carnival game, the conversations she and Fuyumi would have as the boys rode the rides, the food they would indulge themselves on to end the night. Even Shouto would be there to share in the festivities.
They would all go back to the family home and tell Rei and Enji about their day, laughing so hard the children can't even get a word in. The night would end with Asami and Touya nuzzled up in their shared marital bed together, reminiscing about the day and she would tell him her favorite part was kissing him on the Ferris wheel at sunset with the view of Japan below them. He would kiss her on her head and say that was his favorite part too. They would fall asleep in each other's arms with no other care or worry in the world. This would be their perfect life. And it could be their life, she believes, if she can convince him to take the pardon.
Asami is pulled from her fantasy when they are seated in the gondola. She notices that Dabi very slyly slips the attendant some yen before stepping in himself. Her heart races at what deal he made with the man, wondering if he might be a villain and recognized Dabi. She tries to pull her mind away from that thinking and focus on the good day they've had today, away from his villainous activity.
The gondola begins moving once they are seated and they begin their ascent up into the sky. Dabi sits down in the bench, spreading his legs out and leaning his head back on the backrest. He pulls his mask down to his chin and takes off his sunglasses to place them in his pocket.
His arms stretch out over the backrest as Asami sits next to him. She curls into his chest and her eyes look out the window at the spectacular view. This day is perfect and she never wants it to end. She wants to continue to live in this fantasy where Touya is not a villain, Endeavor is not his father, she is not a captive of the League of Villains, and they never have to return to the compound or to the others.
"What do you want out of your life?" Dabi's hoarse voice pulls her from her fantasy as his hand begins combing in her hair. She lifts her head from his chest and looks into his turquoise eyes. She watches him inquisitively at his question and he elaborates. "The life you had before was different from the one you have now. Are you happy? Is this the life you want?"
She thinks for a moment. Am I happy? She doesn't know how to answer that. There are moments where she's happy with Twice and Toga or Compress and Spinner. She feels a sense of worth when she's working with Trumpet and Skeptic. And of course, the moments spent with Touya are like lost moments finally regained. But is this the life she wants to live? Is she happy?
"I don't know," she honestly answers him and he stiffens in her hold ever so slightly. "I used to think working made me happy. Being in an office at the computer was my entire identity. I felt accomplished and worthy when I was at work. I was needed by someone and it helped me become independent of my father," she mentions him with a wrinkle of distaste in her nose.
"He groomed me from a young age to be the perfect housewife. His intention was always to use me as a way to elevate the Hatsuse name more than he had in his lifetime. He enrolled me in piano and English lessons to culture me, he forced me into ballet to mold my body into the most desirable for men. These were things that I did growing up—hobbies of mine that I hated doing. When you had asked me what I do outside of work, I didn't think of these things because I resented them. They represented him and his intentions with me from the beginning."
Both Dabi and Asami are lost in their separate trains of thought as she continues to describe her childhood and her father. "When I graduated UA and got a job at the Hawks Hero Agency, my father was livid. He didn't think I should waste my time at the agency of an unknown hero and was working behind the scenes to get one of the Top Three to take me in. I refused and it turned into a huge fight. He cut me off financially and told me that I was a disappointment to the family name," she frowns and Dabi keeps his bright eyes fixated on a black bolt across from him in the gondola so not to get heated with murderous intent.
"I dove head first into my work because it was the only thing in my life up until that point that I did that he didn't approve of. It became my whole identity and I loved it. I was good at it, and it was something that infuriated him. I finally felt like I was in control of my own life again."
Dabi inhales deeply, thinking about his own lack of control throughout his life and how the desire to regain a semblance of power drove him mad. He thinks about kidnapping her and how he stripped her of that control in doing so. He not only took her away from work and her boyfriend, but he stripped her of her self worth and being. The realization makes him sick and he's no better than his father for taking that from her.
"I don't really have hobbies outside of work and running," she shrugs. "Every time I think about dancing or playing piano again, I get sick thinking about him. Being ordinary and boring means I'm not a suitable match for anyone. It was like my personal fuck you to my dad for becoming a workaholic."
"So, is that all you want from your life? Is to work for someone?" Dabi's tone is neutral and he's not criticizing her for the decision. He just wants to know.
Asami thinks for a moment before answering, "I thought about kids when I was younger, but the idea of them scares me. I don't want to abandon them like my mother did, and I don't want to expect them to follow my dreams of them like my father did. I don't want to fuck them up like they did me. So, I figure it's easier this way." Dabi nods, wishing his mother and father had half the wherewithal to think like she does. "What about you?" her soft voice pulls him from his thoughts. "Are you happy with this life?"
Dabi wants to snort at the absurdity of her question. Of course he's not fucking happy with the shithole of a life he's been dealt. He was meant for greater things, or at least that's what he was raised to think. Now, he doesn't even know.
"I know you had a different path in mind," Asami begins, realizing how tasteless her question was. "But with all things considered, where do you want your life to be now?"
Dabi leans his head back and looks at the ceiling of the gondola. His eyes fixate on the mechanics of it as he mulls over her question. The path that leads him to being a hero is gone and he'll never get that back after the choices he made. He thinks about all the future lives he's fantasized about since he was young and where each of them stands now.
His life as the Number One Hero burned in flames the day he did—hell he won't even be able to graze the top 50 with his body, let alone all the villainous crimes he's committed. He thinks about his alternative life when Shouto came and he started to be discarded. It was a life with her, married with kids living away from his father but still close enough to his sister and brother because he knew she needed that. But that all went to shit when she told him he wasn't her hero.
Truthfully, he sees his life ending soon. He's fully committed himself to fighting Shouto and Endeavor when they reunite and he informs them of his true identity. He will kill Shouto and watch as he dismantles his father's only purpose for living. Dabi will then use his power move that Endeavor refused to see to end both of their lives. He never planned on making it out alive after killing Shouto and his father because there was no point in living after that. That's all his life ever led to since his first demise. But things are different now with her here.
He glances over at her and she watches him with glistening lilac pools, patiently waiting for his response. He'll have to kill her in order to kill the rest of them and himself, but he doesn't even want to go that far with the plan.
He had an alternative to his life. It was something that itched away at his mind when he remembered who she was and when he began falling in love with her. He never allowed the alternative to be voiced or played out in his head because anytime that he does, the plan always goes to shit. But the look in her eyes makes him want to tell her. He wants her to know the life he desires to live with her.
"When we had those stupid weddings that Fuyumi forced us into there was a teacup," He begins with a coarse voice. He clears his throat, knowing his esophagus is attempting to stop him from voicing his most innate desire to her. "During her boring ass speech, I used to fixate on it to kill the time. One of the cups had a painting on it of a man working in a field. He was holding a gardening hoe as he worked on the soil." Dabi licks his drying lips as he continues, eyes fixated ahead on the bolt. "He had a wife working next to him picking at the rice paddies. On her back was a child wrapped in a swaddle, sleeping while the two of them labored on the farm." Dabi sighs as he finally turns to her and dives into the pools of her eyes. "For a moment I thought how nice it would be if that was us," he slowly admits as his eyes scan hers for a reaction.
Asami's heart races as her eyes zip back and forth between his to see the truth of this confession in his gaze. This is his deepest desire for them, and it's clearly painted in his expressions how much he truly wants this life.
She thinks about the pardon and how this will help him achieve this life. He will not be welcomed back in society, even with a pardon by the Hero Commission because of his crimes against the people of Japan, but this life would be perfect. They can provide him with the pardon and he can take exile in the countryside of Japan. She can join him and they can work on a farm together. It's a simple life, but it's a life, and one that they share together.
Her decision is made. This is what is best for him.
"Touya—" she begins to voice her proposition when the gondola comes to a sudden halt. She looks around to see that they are suspended at the top. "What's going on?" she asks, seeing that they are the only ones on the Ferris wheel.
Dabi turns to her, hugging her closely as he positions her to look out the window at the marvelous view. The sky is painted with pinks, blues, purples and oranges as the sun sets behind the cotton candy skies. The harbor in the horizon reflects the fiery sky and all around them they are coated in an orange film.
"Would you look at that," his voice plays at a grin as he whispers in her ear. "A view of all of Japan."
She turns to him, eyes watering with emotions while his reflect the sunset in his eyes. She realizes the yen was paid to the attendant to stop the ride with them at the top and not for some shady criminal dealings. He really is a better man for her.
"Touya," her voice quakes at the romantic gesture.
His hand lifts to her chin, softly cupping at the skin as he leans in for a kiss. His lips graze hers and they embrace each other. The kiss is not possessive and it's not a pillage of control. It's gentle and loving and it displays just how much he cares for her.
Once they are off the gondola they head to the car as nightfall takes over the sky. Before they reach the vehicle, Dabi informs her that he needs to make a phone call and one last stop before they return. She sits outside the phone booth as he makes the call. She can't hear much of what he's saying, only catching "the usual" and "room 315".
Once he is finished with his call, they head to the car where they silently drive with one another. Dabi rests his hand on her thigh as he drives with the other and no words are needed as they both sit there with soft smiles on their faces. Asami closes her eyes as he drives and it isn't long before she finds herself dozing off.
When the car comes to a halt Asami wakes up, blinking heavily as she tries to take in her surroundings. She looks around when she begins to recognize the place, but there's no way they are here.
"Dabi, this is—" she turns to him but he steps out of the vehicle before she can finish. She opens the car door and steps outside with him. He digs his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he approaches the building with tightening shoulders. She slowly joins him, unsure why they are here of all places.
He cranes his head up to look at a light coming from the third story of the large hospital. In the window looking out is his mother.
"I come here once a month," he begins without her need to ask. His voice is far gone and she can tell that he's lost in thought as he watches his mother from the window. "Every month since he had her committed."
Asami stands next to him, craning her head upwards to look at the white-haired woman.
Rei turns her head away from the window and her shoulders lift with excitement as she smiles at whoever has visited her. Visiting hours are over, so Asami knows it's not Fuyumi or the others. Rei leaves the window for a moment before returning with a vase of blue flowers in her hands. She places them on the windowsill with a soft smile painting her lips.
"I wasn't the best son to her," he admits with a tightening throat as the guilt chokes him. "I know I needed more from her as a mother, but she was stretched thin. My father dissolved her into nothing, but she still persisted to make sure the house was clean, the food was warm, and we were safe. After I died and she snapped at Shouto, that fucker sent her to a hospital to waste away in a bleak grey and white room rather than realizing that his weight on her made her break," he clenches his teeth with loathing.
"So, once I got some cash after joining the league, I started sending her flowers to brighten up the room. She told me once that her favorite flowers were Rindou flowers. I never really thought much of it as a kid, flowers were flowers; why would you like one over the other?" he shrugs, as he digs his hand deeper into his pockets.
"Apparently flowers have meanings beyond colorful pedals and nice smells. Do you know what Rindou represents?" he asks her but keeps his eyes fixated on his mother admiring the blue pedals. "Victory and Justice. But it also represents loving someone who is full of sorrow. How can it represent two polar perspectives? If you attain victory and justice, how can you love someone full of sorrow? But then I thought about him. Every step that he made to gain victory crushed her into sorrow. He was grinding us into the ground until we were dust, and then he finally got what he wanted. He got his masterpiece and his victory, and in the end, we were both full of sorrow for it."
He pulls his hands out of his pockets and looks down at them. They are calloused from his years of fruitless training and shaking from the realization that he failed in every aspect. "It was my way of telling her that I'm sorry. That I love her and I'm filled with the same sorrow, but…" he shakes his head as he lifts his head back up to her. "She probably thinks he's sending them to her."
Asami doesn't know what to say. She's seen the flowers in her room before, and when she asked the woman who sent them to her, she smiled with crescent moon eyes and told her that it was Enji's way of telling her that their family was coming together again. She remembers the scoff from Natsuo who refused to believe his brute of a father would commit such a romantic gesture, while Asami found herself swooning at the idea of love prevailing. She closes her eyes now, unable to look at the white-haired woman as she admires the flowers from her dead son.
"We should head back," his voice is filled with regret and heartache as he turns from his mother and heads towards the car. She thinks about the day they've spent together and the life and future they both want to live. She thinks about the option of the pardon and maybe the life in the countryside isn't the only thing he wants. With this continuous gesture for his mother, maybe he craves a life with his family outside of Endeavor's reach. She's still at a loss for what she will do or how she can help Touya, but all she knows is that she will do anything to make sure he has the future he deserves.