"Our pasts do not define us, they simply helped create who we are today."~
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - PROMISES
The event for the animal shelter wasn't that crowded, thankfully. We took our time looking through the stands first, deciding we'd go into the shelter during lunch time since it would be less crowded. There were several stores and small businesses that had set up canopies in the lot of the shelter. All ranging from handmade pet collars and treats to jewelry stands. Jasper and I held hands as we walked around and while the chilled air would usually make me cold, the fire that blazed from our talk in the car had made me feel hot. On top of always feeling a comfortable warmth in Jasper's presence, I had to undo my scarf a little.
After we made our way inside the shelter, I sat in the pen with orphaned puppies. Jasper watched fondly from outside the pen, probably a little uncomfortable after a few whimpered at him after just catching his eyes. I laughed at his expense and comforted the poor things by allowing them to climb all over me. "You sure love animals." Jasper commented as his shoulders remained relaxed. The shelter wasn't busy at this time due to most people heading out for lunch or to browse the stands, making our decision to wait the correct one.
"Once upon a time, I wanted to be a veterinarian." I answered truthfully, not feeling the need to distance myself anymore after I decided to dive head first into the unknown future.
He hummed, eyes moving to the puppies nipping at my fingers, "What changed your mind?"
"The universe has mysterious ways to tell you to change your mind." I cryptically respond before scratching under the jaw of a more relaxed puppy who had taken residence on my lap.
"Is that why you're taking a gap year?" He asked, genuine curiosity in his tone.
"Partially." I glanced around the empty room before continuing, "Promise you won't run off on me if I tell you the darker parts of my past?"
His eyes grow serious and tender, "I don't think there's anything that would make me run away from you, Darlin'."
My smile is small as the flames inside me dance with elation from his confession, "When I was younger I used to have really bad panic and anxiety attacks. I needed medication and supervision." I ran my tongue along my top teeth before continuing, "I caused a lot of trouble for my family. I wasn't ready to come to terms with a lot of things." I glanced at him in apology, "Things I can't talk about right now."
"There is no time limit for us to explore one another. I'll always wait until you're ready." He reassures me and scorching flames caress me gently once more.
"I needed to heal. And that kind of healing required time. A lot of it." I suck in a breath, "I know I'm not even close to being fully healed and it was one of the main reasons I couldn't jump into anything with you. I refused to hurt you by my selfish and impulsive actions. But spending these last three months with you has really helped me. You have really helped me, more than you can imagine."
"Do you still take your medication?" He gently asks, his tone unsure as if he's prying when he shouldn't.
I shook my head, "No. I didn't take anything anymore after I turned sixteen."
He held his hand out to help me stand up as we walked through the rest of the shelter, our hands interlocked. He told me about how Alice was excited for me to come over and that was all before today so he was a little nervous about how they'd all react to the news of the shift in our relationship.
"Bella has been telling me for weeks that we've been dating without calling it that. I'm sure your family can't be worse." I chuckle.
He shakes his head before joking, "I don't know. Alice might already have our wedding venue picked out for us…"
It elicits a giggle from me, mainly because I could believe that. A cat yowls as Jasper looks at it and I cackle before leading him back outside of the shelter. We decide to go to a nearby bookstore and while we walk through the small shop Jasper asks how I knew how to throw a punch like that during the last trip in Port Angeles.
I wince but explain, "I'm not some innocent maiden, Jasper. I've done some things I'm not proud of and it comes from that same place I spoke of earlier. I lashed out at a lot of people…hurt a lot of people including myself. Last year some crazy things happened and when I realized what I was doing with my life, I put an end to a lot of it. But during all that craziness I learned how to defend myself." He brings a hand up to move my hair out of my face, eyes locking on my own as I continue, "I would do almost anything to numb the pain I felt. I snuck into seedy bars and I–"
"You don't have to tell me now. Or ever if you don't want to, Vega." He always did that–reassure me.
"I want you to know. It's just a lot of baggage." I explained, gripping his hand a little harder for courage, "I drank whatever just to try and block it out. I hooked up with a random guy that also didn't look old enough to be there. I regret it. I regret a lot during that stage of my life. But after I did that? It was like a bucket of ice was dumped on me and I finally escaped from the haze that surrounded me. Realistically, the entire thing only lasted about two months but it was two months of chaos for me. My parents have no idea, of course. Dad might have a heart attack and mom wouldn't have let me move more than five feet from her. Bella knew. I think anyway. Or she figured out most of it after everything was over."
He wasn't judgemental as he brushed on his own past, "I've been in the dark as well, Vega. I was physically with someone myself but it never felt like I had the free will to decide that. Our pasts do not define us, they simply helped create who we are today."
"To the future." I whisper before chancing something new, letting go of his hand to fling my arms around him in a hug. His arms carefully settle around me, as if he's touching the most delicate and fragile thing ever. I rest my face on his chest, "Thank you, Jasper."
His fingers play with the ends of my hair, "I've never felt this way before, Darlin'. I am terrified I'll admit something about myself or something from my own past that will have you running away." His head gently bumps my own and I think I hear him inhale before he starts speaking again, "I have never courted someone before. I'm not sure what to do or what to say. I feel like I'm at a disadvantage since you said you have some experience."
"You're doing better than anything I've experienced." I murmur, knowing he would hear me. "That experience is so far in the past and is so different it's hard to explain but you could probably take me to watch the rain fall and I would be elated." I shift my head to look up at him, making him move his head too, "Jasper every moment I am in your presence I feel as if I'm in paradise. I have never felt like this before." The raw honesty in my voice must have been heard as he softly looks at me.
A throat clearing has us springing apart, somehow forgetting we were in the back of the small bookstore. Mortification floods my system before I grab his hand and we rush outside. Giggles erupt from me and they force Jasper to start laughing too.
"Why didn't you warn me they were coming toward us!" I wheeze out, clearly hinting at his supernatural hearing.
He looks just as surprised at having been caught and if he could blush I'm sure he would be pink, "I didn't hear them. Whenever I am near you I am enraptured by your presence." He takes my hand, placing another kiss on it before joining them and leading me to a restaurant.
I dont think I'll ever get used to the kisses on my hand because my heart still stutters every time he does it. And I just know that Jasper can hear it too. Before we enter the restaurant, Jasper's phone rings. He asks if it was okay to take the call and I nod, fine with waiting for a few minutes if necessary.
In the short time I'm alone–but not really because Jasper is still close enough to see–I think back to how easy the day has been. The weight on my shoulders has lightened after talking a bit about my past and I can't find it within myself to regret the new shift in our relationship. As Jasper comes back he tells me it was Alice calling to see if he wanted to join them for a family baseball game. My eyes glance up toward the sky, now covered in grey storm clouds, "Riii~ght." is my only response. We would be a couple of normal teens for right now, no probing about the more supernatural things.
As we're waiting for the food to arrive Jasper asks me how I got into City Pop. I explained that someone I knew enjoyed it–Jae but that kind of deeper explanation couldn't happen now–and my love for it grew in turn. His brow arched, "Do you know Japanese?"
"Not even a little." I admit coyly, giggling a little. He guffaws, clearly shocked. "But that doesn't mean I can't love the sound of the music."
He holds his hands up, "Fair. I know a few languages myself but I must admit that Japanese is not one of them."
"Well, I wouldn't mind studying with you." I flirt lightly, though I'm serious with the offer.
"I'd like that." He smiles as he rubs soothing circles on my knuckles. Jasper seemed to love holding my hands. While I usually actively avoid physical contact, I never wanted Jasper to stop touching me. And I certainly wasn't complaining when he held them like some precious jewels.
We take our time talking, offering more about ourselves than usual. I tell him how I would love to travel the world and he tells me all about the places he's been–mainly all being in the north no matter the continent. He offers more on his past, saying he was born and raised in Texas, Houston specifically, and that he had a rough relationship with his parents. It seemed like he wanted to elaborate but states that he'll have to keep me guessing until the time is right. I roll my eyes at him with no real venom behind the movement.
I explain that my relationship with my mom was bumpy. Always seeming like she favored Bella over her broken daughter until she was forced to be worried about me. And then the next thing would catch her attention and I'd be placed in the background again.
I told him how I preferred my dad's company and had it been up to me I would have lived with him instead but I felt bad about leaving Bella all alone with my mom and whichever new boyfriend or hobby she had. I went into detail on how her new husband has been around the longest and seems to be the one for her and how I was glad Bella and I no longer needed to care or worry for her well being.
He confided how he was always worried about me when we parted ways. His past was dark and full of death, things he thought too heavy to speak of now, and how he always wanted to make sure I was okay. He didn't go into detail but he did say he wouldn't be pulling an Edward and I snorted, telling him he better not because watching me sleep is in fact crossing a boundary line. He didn't seem that surprised that I knew what Edward had been up to.
"You really do seem to know more than you ever let on. I would do nearly anything to get a glimpse inside that beautiful mind of yours for a day, Darlin'." He confessed demurely.
Testing the waters I carefully tease, "My mind is a dangerous place, especially when the thoughts pertain to you. Are you sure you wish to glimpse inside it?"
Our beautiful bubble pops when both of our phones start going off, forcing us to both check them before choosing to ignore them. Well, that's until they start going off again. "What the hell?" I mumble as I check the ID again, Bella. I glance at Jasper to see his own brows furrowed.
"It's Carlisle." He states, his eyes meeting mine. Panic spreads through my body when I remember today was more than Bella just meeting the family. Earlier my mind was too far gone, skipping through a field of baby's breath, to think much else when Jasper brought up the baseball game.
"We should answer." I decide and Jasper excuses himself from the table so we could both speak privately.
"Vega! Oh my god. Are you okay? Tell me you're okay!" Bella practically shouts from the other side.
I glance around the restaurant, thankful it's fairly empty, "I'm fine, Bells. I'm still out with Jasper."
"Please do not leave his side. I'm begging you, Vega." She pleads, her voice sounding stressed.
"What? You want us to post up at a hotel or something?" I ask, eyes glancing around for Jasper.
She sighs, "I'm not sure. I don't know if dad could handle that right now. Can you go home and check on him? Tell him I'm sorry and that I swear I'll be back. I just need to cool my head for a bit?"
It wasn't the time to be happy Bella had used the word dad instead of Charlie but I would remember this moment.
"You owe me for this." I declare, not asking anymore details. I know she wouldn't be able to tell me over the phone.
Jasper is back before my call ends forcing me to hurry it along, "Look Bells, if you need me just let me know. And know that I'll stay with Jasper so don't worry."
"Please please please text me when you get home." She begs.
"Fine. I have to go now. Love you and stay safe." I hang up once she says she loves me too.
Jasper is helping me out of the booth and into my coat at record speed, stating he already paid the check up front. He holds onto my hand the entire way to the car and his mouth is downturned, prompting me to stay quiet for the time being.
Once we're in the car and driving at a breakneck speed home, he finally speaks, "I'm sorry our first date had to be cut short. I promise to make it up to you, Darlin'." He lifted my hand, a small soft kiss of apology ghosting my skin.
"I still had a really good time with you today. It's too bad that something happened." My tongue rubs my canine, "Bella demanded I stay by your side. Would that be alright?"
"You don't even need to ask. I wasn't going to be far even if you told me to leave. I know you don't love the idea of that but…I can't leave you alone right now. Please understand." He beseeched, his eyes full of worry.
"Well, the circumstances sure do change a lot of things and what matters is that you would respect my wishes if it were not dire times." I wiggle my toes in my shoes, "I have no idea how to explain it to my dad. Unless you can climb through my window?"
"I am able." He sighs, "This is not how I wanted to visit inside your home for the first time."
The rest of the drive—which wasn't long—I got lost in my thoughts. Blaming myself for this entire thing as I could have maybe tried to avoid the situation from happening. I was supposed to be watching over Bella to make sure nothing terrible happened but the blastedly good looking man seated next to me has proved to be a worthy distraction. As we pull up to my house I turn to Jasper, letting him know I'll unlock my window for him. Before stepping out of the car I text Bella to let her know I made it home.
Stepping inside was akin to stepping into a funeral with the somber air. Dad was on the couch, head in his hands that jerked up when I made my way into the living room. His eyes were wet and his mouth was wobbling, "Vega. I don't know what to do…"
"I'll talk to her. She just needs some time to calm down. I think she's just scared of what she's feeling." I try to smooth out whatever words tore up our dad. I hugged him, "Get some rest for now, you've barely slept since you got back from your shift. I'll wake you up if I have an update, okay?"
He agrees, shuffling to his room before hopefully passing out. My head throbs with the first signs of a headache as I make my way to my room, unlocking the window and opening it. Not even a second later, Jasper is elegantly climbing through it. Vampires and their ease with all things—Tch.
He enlightens me a little on the situation, not ever explicitly saying vampires or hunting or anything too close to the truth aloud. He does say that someone bad is after Bella and therefore my dad and I could be in danger.
Bella only left to avoid a crisis here in Forks but the Cullens are keeping her safe. He promises me that he won't be leaving my side until the problem is fixed and that he's sorry he can't go help Bella and his family—he simply can not leave me by myself knowing there could be danger.
I understood. And I was hoping that I could call Bella and convince her to avoid the entire ballet studio incident. The words I had just read the night before come to me in flashes and I remember James used moms voice to lure her out of the hotel. I text Bella, fibbing only a little that mom sent an email saying their car broke down and they wouldn't be back in Phoenix for a while as it was getting fixed. That would hopefully be enough.
The rest of the night had Jasper sitting tensely in my room, clearly unsure about what he should even look at. If the situation wasn't so serious I might have laughed. No matter what I did he remained rigid and didn't allow himself too close to me.
Eventually, I laid under the blankets telling Jasper he was more than welcome to read any of the books on the shelf. I couldn't coerce him to join me on the bed unfortunately as he was posted up in my desk chair, keeping his body between the window and me. As I gripped the blanket, I murmured to him, "Despite everything that's happened today, I'm glad I chose to give this—us—a chance. Promise to wake me if anything happens?"
He moves close to me for the first time while being in my room, his cool fingers brushing my hair back as his eyes look distraught, "I am eternally blessed that you have gifted me such a rare role in your life. I promise to wake you. Now sleep, Dalrin'."
The exhaustion hits me like a freight train, the events of the day piling up as my eyes fight to stay open. I realized that I fully trusted Jasper and his promises to me and the warmth that rushes through my body makes me sink deeper into the bed. With the last shred of awareness I ghost my fingers against his hand not on my head, hooking my pinky around his.
The last thought drifting through my head was that Jasper Hale was either going to break my heart or bring me back to life.