"Hurry up and get dressed," Mishka urges his sister. "Yana will be here any minute."
"I am dressed."
"You are wearing THAT?!"
"These are my clothes, Mishka. I do not get paid on a regular basis. A fancy wardrobe is not in my budget."
"Fine. But if you are planning on staying here a while, I will give you my credit card to pick up more clothes. People will start to talk if they see you in the same thing all the time."
Linka rolls her eyes.
"Says the guy who wore the same t-shirt all through his youth."
"Same team. Different shirts."
"Looked the same to me…and probably everyone else."
"Will you two stop bickering and finish setting the table?" Gram chastises. "Linka, when you are finished, there is a bag beside my bed. I saw the outfit and thought of you, so I bought it. I was going to give it to you for your birthday, but if you would like to change, you can have it now."
Part of her wanted to decline the offer just to spite her brother, but she did not want to decline her grandmother's offer or make her upset for being difficult.
"Thank you, Grandma," Linka says as she gives the older lady a kiss on the cheek. "But this does not mean you have to buy me something else when it is actually my birthday. A card will be fine."
"And where should I send that card? Will you be back on Hope Island or somewhere else?"
Linka sighs.
"I do not know my plans."
"Hurry!" Mishka shoos her out of the room.
Linka has no sooner changed and returned to the kitchen when there is a knock on the door.
"I got it!" Mishka rushes to the door and opens it to reveal his girlfriend. He bends to kiss her in greeting. "Come in. I am glad you could make it."
"And on time! I cannot believe my appointments did not run long. That always seems to be the case when I have somewhere I need to be."
"You remember my grandmother, Nadia." Yana nods and smiles as she waves hello. "My sister is still in the kitchen. I will apologize in advance for her. She is having some problems with her personal life and not quite herself."
"I am sympathetic to that. I am sure she will be fine," Yana says.
Mishka guides his girlfriend into the kitchen.
"Linka, this is my girlfriend, DOCTOR Yana Petrova."
Linka gasps and her eyes widen.
"Hello."
Recognition hits Yana as well.
"Hello. It is nice to meet you," Yana offers her hand. Wanting to respect her patient's privacy and not lead on that they've already met.
"Umm, you as well. I hope you like pelmeni. I never get it, so that was what I chose to make for dinner."
"I do, and it smells delicious."
"Good, shall we eat then?" Mishka asks.
They all enjoy a pleasant dinner and amiable conversation throughout.
"Mishka, since Linka did most of the cooking, you and I can clean up while Yana and Linka relax in the living room and talk about you," Gram teases.
"I do not like the sound of that," Mishka says.
"Yana has good taste in food, but I question her taste in men," Linka teases.
When the two young women leave the kitchen to take a seat in the living room, Linka smiles weakly and says,
"What are the chances that out of all the counselors that I was looking through online, I would pick the one that is dating my brother. Thank you for not letting on that we have already met."
"I was just as surprised as you were…and I promise you, I never talk about any of my patients with anyone, to include Mishka. I certainly would not tell him anything about you, but I understand if you no longer wish to continue our sessions."
Linka nods.
"I appreciate that, but I really did find it easy to talk to you, and I usually do not feel so at ease talking about my personal life, not even with my closest friends…maybe it was because you were a stranger, but now that you are not…I still feel like I would be comfortable talking to you. Plus, I really do not want to start all over with someone else and have to re-tell my story. Maybe I was meant to find you."
"I am happy to hear that. I really do think we can get somewhere. After you left, I thought about your situation. I could not stop trying to come up with a solution."
"You think there is a 'solution?'"
"There are no perfect answers, but we can try."
"I would like that."
The girls talk a bit more about themselves, where they're from, where they've been, how Yana and Mishka met, and Linka warns Yana of some of her brother's less-endearing habits. When Mishka and Gram join them, the group continues to talk until late into the evening. Mishka walks Yana out and returns to his family, looking at Linka for approval.
"Well?"
"I like her. Do not screw it up."
"Like you did?" He quips.
Linka's expression changes and he immediately regrets his jab.
"Fuck you, Mishka," she fires back as she stands up and heads for her room, offering her grandma a quick apology for her outburst and choice of words. "Sorry, Grandma."
"Really, Mishka?" Their grandmother chastises.
"It just came out. We always take shots at each other. I said it without thinking. I will apologize to her tomorrow."
"You will apologize to her NOW. Do not make her go to bed upset. She is already hurting over finding out her last attempt at being a mother was unsuccessful and feeling like she needed to push Wheeler away because of it. Saying insensitive things like you did is the last thing she needs. She came here to seek comfort from her family. Do not make her regret that."
"You are right. I will talk to her tonight…if she will see me."
Mishka knocks on the door and waits for an answer. Getting none, he asks,
"Linka, can I come in?"
"No."
"I want to apologize."
"Then do it from out there and leave me alone."
He sighs at his stubborn sister, knowing it won't be easy to get her forgiveness when she's angry.
"I have more to say that just 'I am sorry.' Please hear me out?"
She turns the doorknob enough to unlatch the door but does not open it to him. He pushes the door open and sees her walking away to sit on her bed.
"I should not have said what I did. I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth. We just go back and forth so much; it came out of my mouth without even thinking. It is no excuse though. I know you are struggling with your feelings for Wheeler and trying to do what you feel is best. I know you did not make your decision lightly, and I want you to know that you have my support."
"What made you change your mind?" She asks.
"Change my mind about what?"
"That what I am doing is best for Wheeler?"
"Oh. Umm, perhaps you misunderstood. I do not agree with your decision, but I will support you."
"That makes no sense," she says angrily.
"No, I think it does. I will not try to change your mind, and I will keep my opinions to myself. I did not want to bring it up earlier and make things awkward, but Yana is a relationship therapist. I am sure she would be happy to listen to your situation and offer advice."
"So you think I need therapy?"
"You are putting words in my mouth. I am just saying that she is a good listener if you want to talk to someone trustworthy. Someone who is detached from the situation. Grandma and I know Wheeler. We have seen the lengths he has gone to in the past for you and know he will do it again. If we can see it, why can you not see it?"
"I DO see it. Do you not get it? THAT is the problem. He puts me before him. I know he will not be satisfied if he cannot be a father. He says it is not important to him, but at the same time, he says he always imagined us being a family."
"And you still can be! You and he can give a child in need the best family ever. There are plenty of children who need a family. You could be that family."
"So much for keeping your opinions to yourself and not trying to change my mind."
"Yes, you are right. I am done now though. I have said what I can. I came here to apologize, and I have. I hope you know that I only want you to be happy. I love you and do not want to see you give up on finding happiness with Wheeler. You two are meant to be." Mishka stops at the door and before he leaves adds, "Consider what I said about talking to Yana though."
Little did he know, she already had and intended on talking to her again at her next appointment.
She picks up her phone and responds to the missed text messages that Wheeler left.
Hey Babe. How r u?
Everything ok?
I miss u.
Hi Yankee. Sorry, I was busy all day. Mishka invited his new gf 2 dinner, so I was shopping 4 food, preparing it, & then talking 2 r guest. I miss u 2, but this is 4 the best. We need some space 2 deal w/things.
He responds rather quickly.
I don't need space, but wut I need isn't important. Space is the last thing I want but if it's wut u need, I'll respect that.
She hates that he said that what he needs isn't important. She knows she's putting herself ahead of him, but she also believes that in the end, this will be better for him.
U need to distance urself from me. Spending so much time 2gether was selfish of me. Especially when I knew that the chances of this working were nonexistent. I should not have given u hope.
Don't tell me wut I need. Wut I need is U. Wut's selfish is u leaving me alone 2 grieve. So now on top of losing the embryos, I feel like I've lost u 2."
U have not lost me. We will always b friends, as long as u still want me as a friend.
I want MORE. U know that. If all u can give me is friendship tho, I guess I'll just have 2 accept it.
4 ur own sake, friends is all I can ever allow us 2 b. It is late here. I should get 2 bed. Gnight.
I know u don't really believe that bullshit. But keep telling urself we r just friends. G'nite, buddy.
Linka buries her face in her pillow and begins to cry. She knew this would not be easy, but why did it have to be so hard? She sobs herself into exhaustion and finally falls asleep.
Through the thin walls, Mishka can hear his sister crying. He knows there is nothing he can do for her. She has not listened to anything he or their grandmother have told her. He knows Yana may have more luck, so he calls her and explains the situation. She does a good job of pretending she is hearing this all for the first time.
"What do you think she should do?" Yana asks.
"Stop being so stubborn and selfish and tell him to come here and they can grieve together and move on with their relationship."
"You cannot expect her to 'move on' so easily. This is a big disappointment for her. She needs to come to terms with not being able to be a mother. But I do think she should be seeking comfort in Wheeler. If she is stubborn like her brother though, no one else is going to be able to tell her that. She needs to come to that realization herself."
"Can you talk to her? This is your area of expertise," Mishka requests.
"I offer suggestions to couples who come to me together because they want to fix things. Or they need help communicating. I cannot change Linka's mind. The best I can do is help her work through her feelings and hope that she comes to the realization on her own."
"It is better than nothing. Grandma and I cannot get through to her. We have seen them together. I could not have picked a better man for my sister. He is crazy about her. He will not give up on her, but in the process of trying to make him, she is going to hurt him unnecessarily. He does not deserve that. Frankly, I am disappointed that she is handling it like this, but if I say that, she will just get upset with me and say it is none of my business."
"She is right, it is not…but you are coming from a good place. And I do not think she wants to hurt him, but probably thinks doing it now will save them both pain in the future."
"Do you think that is a logical way of thinking?"
"No…but perhaps that is what I need to do…make Linka see how illogical it is and then she can come to the right decision."
"Great! I am glad I called you. I knew you would have the answer," Mishka says.
"You were the one who gave me the answer. Maybe you should go back to school for psychology, and we can open a joint practice."
"Oooh, that sounds like a long-term commitment. Does that mean you do not think you will get sick of me anytime soon?"
"I suppose I will keep you around…at least until I see how your sister and her American work things out."
Mishka laughs.
"Linka is stubborn, it might be a while…wait, how did you know he was American?"
"Umm…you said so," she tries to cover.
"Hmm…I did not think that I did…but I must have. Oh well, no matter. It is late. I should let you go."
"I will talk to you tomorrow. Send me your sister's number and I will reach out to her to see if she wants to meet up for coffee," Yana makes a good effort to play into Mishka's plan, but the truth is, she knew she would already be seeing Linka for their previously scheduled appointment.
Wheeler's mood has gotten worse and since Gi has yet to make an attempt to talk to him about it, the others inform her that it's her turn. It's been rare that he's left his cabin, but she happened to see him coming back from a run and caught up with him.
"Perfect weather for a run," she says casually.
"Yeah. Low humidity. It was nice."
"It's nice seeing you out and about too. Will you be joining us for dinner?"
"Umm, I don't know. I'm not really that hungry. I'll probably just grab a bowl of cereal later."
"Ok…I was going to make spaghetti with the tomato sauce that Kwame and Ma-Ti canned a few weeks ago if you change your mind."
"That sounds good…" Knowing he can't hide forever, he relents. "You know what, maybe I will join you guys."
"Good!"
"Do you need any help? I can get cleaned up and meet you in the kitchen."
Not really needing help boiling water for noodles, but optimistic that he's willing to spend time outside of his cabin, she accepts his offer. Maybe he's ready to talk?
"That would be great. I'll meet you in the kitchen."
"Ok, be there in ten minutes or so."
Encouraged by the latest development, Gi rushes to find Kwame and Ma-Ti to let them know and ask that they avoid the kitchen in case she and Wheeler get to talking and he starts opening up. She doesn't want him to go quiet again.
Wheeler arrives right when he said he would and offers to make garlic bread.
They're moving about the kitchen in silence mostly, except for when they ask the other to pass an ingredient or utensil. Finally, it is Wheeler who broaches the topic of their Russian teammate.
"Have you heard from Linka?"
"Umm, she finally answered my phone call yesterday after ignoring the many text messages I've sent, but it was a brief conversation…weird too."
"Oh?"
"Well, I assumed that since you were in a mood, and she didn't come back with you that you two had a fight, and she was just cooling off. So I asked her what you did, and she said it wasn't you, it was her. That you needed to realize that she is not the woman you thought she was and accept it."
"So she's feeding you that same bullshit?"
"I asked her if you two had been in a relationship and hiding it from us…and I'll tell you the same thing I told her…you don't need to hide it. We WANT you two to get together."
"We weren't hiding a relationship. We were getting closer, but then…something just…changed."
"She told me."
"She did?!"
Wheeler is surprised that Linka had opened up to Gi about it but was glad that she did. Now he had someone else to talk to about it.
"Yeah…about how she told you she doesn't want children and that she can't be with you because even though you say now that you're ok with it, one day, you may change your mind and she won't, and you'll end up resenting her."
"She said she didn't want kids?"
"Yeah…is that not what the issue is?"
"I'm not going to get into the personal aspect of it, but I will tell you what happened because it's my story to tell too…we were staying at my uncle's cabin and…things changed. Things happened between us that can't be undone."
"Holy shit! Did you guys have sex?!" Gi exclaims.
"Sssh, keep your voice down. I don't think they heard you on Mars…but it wasn't just sex. It was meaningful…the most meaningful moment of my life. I thought that was it. A new start for us…then she left."
"She left?!"
He nods.
"I woke up and she was gone. Searched all over the property until Gaia showed up and told me Linka had asked her to send her to Russia."
"So where is she coming up with the part about not wanting kids? Oh." Gi has a moment of realization. "I take it that things progressed rather quickly and there wasn't much planning involved?"
"Umm, yeah. I guess. Not that I haven't been thinking about it since the day I met her."
"Yeah, but did your teenage fantasies pause to use protection?"
"I'm clean, and she's never…"
"PREGNANCY, Wheeler. If you didn't use protection, and all of a sudden, she's freaking out about not wanting kids…now you know why she's running away. Linka is so organized about everything; she probably has her bowel movements scheduled."
"Gross, Gi."
"My point is, she's probably spun up thinking the one time she has sex, and she does it without any form of birth control, that now she's gone and gotten herself pregnant...well, you've gone and gotten her pregnant."
Wheeler knows that's not a concern either of them need to have. He wishes it were.
Gi continues,
"Maybe she's just going to stay away until she can see her doctor and be sure she gets a negative test…but if it does come back positive, you gotta let her be the one that decides what she's going to do. If she doesn't want kids…"
"ENOUGH! She's not going to get pregnant."
"How do you know? If you guys didn't use…"
Wheeler cuts her off.
"I'm sterile, ok?" He lies.
"Oh. Umm…sorry? Does Linka know that?"
"Linka knows she and I can never have kids of our own."
"Oh…and that's why she's upset," Gi concludes. "But I'm confused…does she actually want them, but since you can't have them together…she's pulling away?"
"Something like that."
"There are other options," Gi starts but is cut off by Wheeler.
"I know. She knows. Apparently, it's not good enough. Look, now you know what's been going on, so can we just drop it? And don't bring it up to Linka, please. She just needs to have some time alone to process things and hopefully she'll come back, and things can go back to normal."
"'Normal' meaning back to the way things were? 'Just friends?'"
"I guess. That's what she says she wants. It's not what I want, but the other option is losing her completely, so I guess I just need to take what I can get."
"I can't believe she'd let something like that affect you guys' future. She loves you. I know she does. She's never come out and told me, but it's clear. She wouldn't have had sex with you if she didn't…and how did she find out about your…circumstance? Casual conversation in the afterglow and when it dawned on her that you hadn't used protection, you told her you were sterile and then she got weird about having kids?"
"No, nothing like that. Look, it's a long story and the garlic bread is done. Better drain the noodles and let the others know dinner is ready," he takes the bread out of the oven and heads for the door.
"Where are you going?"
"Lost my appetite. Save me a plate. I'll heat it up later."
Gi sighs, sorry that their conversation has driven him away again, but glad that she's finally gotten to the bottom of the issue between him and Linka. She can fill the other guys in later, so they have a better understanding of it as well. Maybe knowing the story, they can all come up with reasonable suggestions that will make everyone happy.
To Be Continued...