Chapter 28

Flicking through archives was boring, but he had a noble cause. He knew that Izara's father would have some reports from his time serving in the Navy and wanted to see if he could find them. Although he wasn't sure how Izara would feel about it, he thought it would be nice to at least give her something else to remember her father by. Perks of being the Fire Lord. He had declined help from the staff to find what he was looking for since it was about him doing something thoughtful for her.

Finally, he found the correct time frame and shifted his weight in a tiny jump of excitement. Using his fingers to go through each sheet of paper, he eventually found the right one. It was a stack of reports bound together from Zaigan, and Zuko carefully pulled it out. They were all from when he was blocking the supply line at Kovu Cliffs, and he carefully looked through them until he was satisfied that this was what he wanted.

Izara was meeting him after her afternoon shift, so he planned to find what he was looking for after his work for the day was done and show her later. He left the archives and trudged back up the stairs to his own chambers, where she was meeting him. While he was waiting, he brushed his hair and pulled it back, trying to look somewhat presentable. The archives were a rather stuffy, dusty place, so he also changed his clothes.

Perfect timing, he thought as she knocked on the door to let him know she was there. He called out to allow her entry, and she entered, closing the door behind her and smiling at him as he emerged from the bathroom.

"Hi," he said with a boyish smile and ushered for her to sit down.

Now she was here, he had a teapot set up for them and used firebending to bring the water to the right temperature. He held the metal steeper in his other hand, already prepped with green tea from his Uncle. She observed him carefully, still unsure why he'd asked her to come and see him.

"So, I wanted to show you something." He said while holding his hand under the teapot to warm the water inside.

"Mmm?" She enquired with a questioning inflection.

"Your father. I know you don't really remember him, but I wanted to find something to help you understand what he was like." He wasn't looking at her, watching the water begin to bubble instead, but he felt her gaze sharpen.

"Did you find his old navy reports?" She asked curiously.

"Quick on the uptake." He huffed softly. "I did. If you don't want to read them, I understand. But I just thought you'd like the option."

Finally making eye contact with her, her face was a blank mask. She was either unsure what to feel or wanted to hide it from him. He held her gaze momentarily and saw it gradually soften as she lowered her guard. It must have been instinctual for her to be ready for anything; he didn't take any offence to it. Although she had seemed to adjust to life in the Palace, some things never went away. From what he could glean, she had a tough life after her parents passed, so it would have been so ingrained for her to never relax.

After what seemed like an hour of complete silence between them, she eventually smiled at him, breaking her composure. Now that he'd gotten a reaction, he focused back on the water and realised it needed to cool for a moment before he put the tea in. He'd let it get too hot while he'd been distracted as he tried to calculate what was going through Izara's mind.

"Why did you do that?" She was intrigued but sat back in her chair nonchalantly.

"I remember my mother from when I was younger, but aside from my Uncle, most of my memories of my family aren't great." He absent-mindedly brushed his fingers over his scar. "I thought it would be nice for you to better understand what your father was like. As I said, no pressure. Just perks of being the boss, I guess." He shrugged and smirked to lighten the mood.

After considering her answer for a moment, she replied. "Thank you. I'm not sure if I want to read them yet, but I will think about it if that's okay."

"I'll leave them here so you can read them if you change your mind. Just come and see me." He wouldn't worry either way since it was up to her. He certainly wouldn't mind if she visited him more often, though.

"Thank you." She smiled at him and watched while he began preparing their tea.

It was his favourite from The Jasmine Dragon, so his Uncle usually bought him a few packs when he visited. Now, he was almost running out, but thankfully, Iroh would be around for a while since he was opening the new Jasmine Dragon branch in the Capital.

They chatted about their day, Zuko telling her about his meeting, and she talked about training with Kazan. He noticed her eyes occasionally drifting toward the stack of reports and wondered how long it would take her to change her mind. After a natural lull in the conversation, she simply stared at them for a while, and he smiled at her thoughtful expression.

"Sit here with me while you read them." He suggested, wanting her to feel like she had some emotional support.

Her golden eyes found his own, and she regarded him for a moment. Zuko would have given up a limb to know what she was thinking, but she nodded slowly and took a slow, controlled breath in and out. He grabbed them for her and carefully placed them in front of her with a warm smile. Izara smiled back, albeit a little awkwardly, and she cast her eye over the cover page. She sipped her tea once he poured her a cup, perking up visibly and making a soft noise of enjoyment as she raised her head to look at him.

"Shit. This is good." She said emphatically.

"It's my favourite tea from my uncle's shop. I'll ask him to get you some," Zuko offered politely, and Izara grinned before sobering as she looked at the papers.

In silence, they sat while Zuko kept watch over Izara while they enjoyed their tea. The only thing that disrupted the silence was the turning of a page, the clink of the teapot against the tray, and soft breathing. When she'd gotten through about a third of the pile, Zuko moved over to the couch, and Izara quickly followed. The wooden seats were making his butt go numb, and the cushioned couch was much better. As more time passed, Izara seemed to get tired, but she kept reading anyway.

Eventually, she had fallen asleep on the couch, and Zuko wasn't far off himself. He'd taken to reading a book while she read through the reports, close enough for her to reach out if she needed support or comfort but far enough away that she had some space. It was nice that she felt comfortable enough to fall asleep with him here, as it had taken her a while to settle into the Palace when she'd first come here. Moving around a lot meant you rarely felt genuinely safe and relaxed anywhere, even if you had a large ship with your own chambers on board. Izara would have only had a tent with a cot or barracks to live in while she was with her Uncle, and he gathered she'd slept rough on the streets after her parents had passed away. He wasn't sure and didn't feel like it was his place to ask, not wanting to bring up bad memories.

Although he didn't want to wake her, he knew she would need to get up eventually. For now, though, he'd let her get an hour or two of well-earned rest...

He parried the strike from her dagger, but it wasn't quite fast enough, and the tip sliced through his upper arm on the way through. It was a shallow strike, but it still put him off just long enough for Izara to swing her right leg around in a roundhouse kick, landing it squarely on his ribs. The wind was knocked out of her opponent, and he dropped to his knees. With a solid right hook, he was unconscious, but Izara felt a stinging pain in her back at the same time.

"Izara." A voice called out, but she couldn't pinpoint where it originated.

She vaguely recognised the feeling of a knife in her back, just below her shoulder blade, and struggled to fight against the pain as she whirled around, ready to keep up the fight…

"Izara." The voice continued, and panic surged through her.

Within a second, she had drawn her dagger from its sheath and held it against the throat of her attacker. Her other hand was fisted in their collar, stopping them from escaping as she felt the resistance of skin and flesh underneath her blade.

"It's me!" Her eyes focused after a moment as she recognised the voice.

Zuko…

Dropping her dagger in shock, she let him go and held her hands up in a submissive gesture. Her jaw dropped, and her hands began to shake as she realised what she had done. A line of blood was on his throat, where her dagger was a moment ago, and his eyes were wide in surprise.

Her vision started to blur as her eyes welled up with tears, and Zuko reflexively stepped back away from her. One hand came over her mouth as she began to cry in earnest, seeing that she had hurt him, someone who she truly cared about. Fight or flight mode had kicked in, and now that the fight was done, the flight took over, and she raced out of his room, ignoring him calling out to her on the way. Something like this had never happened to her before, and she was absolutely mortified that she had been so careless. She was always armed with her dagger out of sheer habit, almost like it was a child's blankie, but she hadn't ever pulled it on anyone before. By the same token, she never got so close to anyone before.

She didn't stop running and kept her head down so no one would see her tears as she continued straight outside and into the night. Wanting to avoid any curious eyes, she scaled up to get on the palace's roof, knowing that she wouldn't be bothered up here. Since she was pretty used to finding a good vantage point, being up on roofs or high places never bothered her. Some people were so scared of heights, which she could understand, but she never felt like that. Being in a big city again meant there were plenty of spots she could take advantage of, enjoy the view, or escape from her problems. Once she found a good place, she sat down and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she sobbed.

Thankfully, no one noticed or heard her crying, lasting at least ten or fifteen minutes. The beginning of a headache made her aware that she needed to calm down. Although she wasn't sure how much time had passed, she stayed where she was, sniffling occasionally and feeling the sharp stab of emotional pain in her chest. How would Zuko ever forgive her? She had pulled her blade on him for no reason other than being startled. It showed a shameful lack of self-control, and he had been insistent on her being careful during her firebending lessons. Fire was almost its own entity, and a firebender needed a strong will to stop it from burning out of control. He stressed it so much that she felt ashamed that this had happened.

Footfalls behind her momentarily startled her, and she turned to see Kazan behind her.

"Hey." He offered quietly and took a seat next to her.

"Hey," she replied, rubbing her face against her sleeve, trying to remove the dried tear tracks.

"What's up?" Kazan asked in a knowing tone, and she knew that she couldn't escape. He could see through her too well.

"It's nothing. Just me being a fucking idiot, as usual."

"Does it happen to have anything to do with the Fire Lord who has been looking for you for the last hour?" His tone held enough mirth for her to look at him, and she saw him looking back with a smirk.

"Uhhh, no?" She said with far less confidence than she had intended, and he shook his head.

"What happened?"

"I fell asleep, and I was having a bad dream. He woke me up, and I immediately went into attack mode. I held my dagger against his neck before I recognised him." She buried her head between her knees and groaned. "I can't believe I did that. I drew blood as well."

"You know that he's a smart guy. I know that he will understand. I'm sure he's more worried about you than anything else."

"Yeah, but I feel shit. I hurt him. He always tells me to be careful when we're firebending. I'm ashamed of my lack of self-control." Her tears threatened to start again again despite her willing them not to. Kazan hadn't seen her cry before. In fact, no one had before tonight, and she had intended to keep it that way.

"Ugh, just go and talk to him. You're being an idiot by hiding." Kazan nudged her with his elbow hard enough to throw her off balance, and she put a hand down on the roof next to her to catch herself.

Kazan saw that she was practically crying and was momentarily surprised before his expression softened into that of an older brother worried about his little sister. Without a word, he put an arm over her shoulder, pulled her close, and let her cry.

Meanwhile, Zuko was walking around the palace, trying to find Izara. It had been almost an hour since she had run out of his room, and he could have sworn that he saw her crying. The last thing he was concerned with was the tiny cut on his neck. He was worried about his friend. She hadn't done anything wrong; in fact, he knew very well how she felt. His dreams felt so real sometimes that he was ready for a fight out of sheer instinct when he woke up.

Sokka and Suki were hand in hand a little ways down the hall, returning from a nighttime walk, when Zuko marched over to them with purpose. His alarm made them drop each other's hands. Suki evened her weight out as if she was ready for the worst, and Sokka's boomerang hand twitched.

"Guys, have you seen Izara?" He asked, somewhat breathless.

"No, is something wrong?" Suki replied, her eyes falling to the blood on his neck.

"It's fine. She just ran off." Zuko's tone told them not to worry, although they relaxed a little, but not entirely.

"We'll keep an eye out," Sokka replied, and Zuko nodded in thanks before heading out the way his friends had just come from.

Although the palace was huge, tracking someone down wasn't usually this difficult. He had searched through the guards' rooms, his office, and everywhere else he could think of. He stopped walking, tapped his foot against the floor in frustration, and suddenly got an idea. The feeling of the carpet underneath his bare feet was precisely the inspiration he needed.

Toph.

He double-backed, went straight to Toph's guest room, and burst through the door without knocking. She would have known he was coming anyway, so it wasn't like she would be surprised. In typical Toph fashion, she was lying on the floor on her stomach, showing absolutely no alarm at his abrupt entry.

"What's wrong, Flamebutt?" Her tone would seem casual to those who didn't know her, but he could identify the seriousness laced through it.

"Where's Izara?" He asked, slowly starting to feel more desperate.

"Ugh, hang on." She grunted and got to her feet, and her pale gaze turned inward as she tried to sense Izara's presence. "She's in your room, idiot."

"Thanks." He yelled and ran back to his room, not sparing a second to slow down.

When he flung his door open and saw Izara there, he could finally breathe a sigh of relief. Once she saw him, she dropped to her knees into a formal bow, her hands on the floor in front and her head down.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just…" She mumbled into the floor, but he heard her voice trail off and saw her shoulders tense up.

"It's okay." He kneeled in front of her and offered her his hand, which she could see.

She straightened up but kept her chin to her chest. His heart wrenched as he saw a tear fall from her chin onto the floor. The carpet under them darkened from the liquid. Her hands were pulled into tight fists in her lap, shaking ever so slightly. Carefully, he moved closer to her and began to speak.

"I'm not upset or mad at you. I know you didn't mean it."

"But I hurt you." Her hands shook as she spoke, and he could hear the pain in her voice.

"It's barely a papercut. Stop worrying." He nudged her upper arm gently and kept his tone light, trying to reassure her.

"But paper cuts hurt the most." She lifted her head up to answer, and he could see that her golden eyes were bloodshot, and her cheeks had dried tear tracks. She still didn't look at him; instead, she stared at the floor to her right.

Although she spoke in all seriousness, he gathered her meaning. She wasn't just talking literally but insinuating that the ones closest to you could hurt you the most. It wasn't lost on him, and he furrowed his brow, realising that she had beaten herself up over this far too much. It had been an hour of concern for him, but it appeared that she had tortured herself for the last hour.

"You tell me so much to be careful and to exercise self-control when you are teaching me. You should be disappointed in me for not taking on your instruction." Her tears were still falling as she spoke.

He reached out to her and took hold of her small hands in his own, and she didn't resist but still wouldn't raise her head. Gently, he tugged on her hands as he began to stand up, and she followed along. Once they'd gotten to their feet, they were close, only inches away, and he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. She only showed a brief moment of surprise, just a quick tensing of her muscles before she relaxed in his embrace.

"Stop worrying." He asked her softly, just loud enough for her to hear.

"I can't help it," she said, and he tensed his arms in protest, laughing at her stubbornness.

"I'll make it an official order if I have to." He let her go just enough to look at her with a fake serious glare as he spoke, and she played along with him and gasped dramatically.

"You wouldn't."

"You're right. I wouldn't." He laughed and was glad when she smiled. "I promise it's okay. Please stop worrying. For me." He became serious again and brushed his thumb across her cheek to wipe a tear away.

"Okay." She nodded and gave him a half smile in appreciation.

Zuko wasn't fully convinced that she had let it go, but hopefully, he had made his point. He couldn't force her to forgive herself, although it would be much easier. Hearing that she was upset because he had spoken so much about control when he had taught her firebending made him strangely proud. To him, it only proved that she had indeed taken his lessons to heart.

"I'm glad to hear that you take my instruction so seriously." He said this in a light tone but was really pleased to hear it.

"Of course I do. Can I at least clean it up?" She asked her eyes on the small cut across his neck.

"If that would help you feel better," Zuko answered with a soft smile. He was just happy for any reason for her to keep touching him.

They sat on the couch, and she carefully tilted his head back with her thumb on his jawline before she headed into the bathroom. He could hear the tap running and turning off, and she emerged a moment later with a damp cloth. Unable to help it, he licked his lips as she concentrated on gently cleaning the now-dried blood off his skin without making the cut worse. Her movements were somehow calming in a mindless way. Leaning his head on the back of the couch, he closed his eyes as she cleaned him up. When she got up from her seat, he opened his eyes to see where she was going and watched her enter the bathroom. She came out a moment later, giving him an apologetic smile.

"Thank you," Zuko said appreciatively.

"Don't thank me. I'm the cause of all this." She shook her head and gestured to wave his thanks away.

"You don't need to beat yourself up, Izara. I understand."

Izara sighed heavily and slowly but eventually nodded. Finally, his words seemed to sink in, and he felt like she'd forgive herself with a bit of time. She didn't sit back down, and Zuko was far too tired to continue the conversation, which she seemed to notice.

"I'll let you get some rest, my Lord." She bowed her head.

"Goodnight." He smiled at her drowsily.

"Goodnight."

Closing the door behind her, Zuko had to drag himself off the couch to get ready for bed. After cleaning up in the bathroom, he looked in the mirror, assessing the small cut from Izara. Even though it stung slightly as he ran his finger over it, he smiled anyway.

Once he got in bed, he fell asleep within a few minutes...