okok so now I'm gonna write the bio of volga bulgaria and how he's gonna be in my crackfic au

first, some history. volga bulgaria was a vassal to the khazar khaganate. they converted to islam officially in 922. eventually, the khazar rule weakened and when the rus' destroyed the khazar khaganate, the country became fully independent. they even tried to convert the ruler of kievan rus to islam but he refused bc he and his people didn't want to give up drinking wine. then, they became a major trade center bc of the country's location. they monopolized the trade of europe and asia. thus, they amassed lots of wealth and power (their capital bilar was one of the biggest cities in europe & asia). occasionally, volga bulgaria and the rus' principalities were often raiding each other or in war with each other, but there were times where they'd trade with each other and help each other (such as volga bulgaria sending them wheat when there was famine in the rus' principalities). eventually, in 1236-1237, the mongols took them over and incorporated their lands into the golden horde. despite the initial mass destruction, the people eventually recovered and rebuilt some of the cities, turning them again into trade hubs (they kinda assimilated into the population of the golden horde though and lost their bulgar self-designation). they even had some autonomy but still were affected by the internal strife of the golden horde. one of the principalities that existed on the lands where volga bulgaria used to be got independent in 1438. it was called the kazan khanate and it had a lot of inner turmoil. eventually, russia took it over in 1552. the kazan khanate is regarded as the predecessor to the republic of tatarstan.

regarding volga bulgaria in hetalia. what happened to him? did he die in 1236? or did he survive until the 14th century, only to die because of plague and the internal strife of the golden horde? did he survive until modern days, but under another name? did he become the kazan khanate (and tatarstan)? or did he become chuvashia (another republic in the russian federation)? bc there are various theories, some say that the kazan tatars descend from the bulgars, others believe it's the chuvash (or that both nationalities have some bulgar heritage). is volga bulgaria an ancestor or a relative to one of these two republics (or to both of them)? idk even the scientists aren't 100% sure so when I write of volga bulgaria in hetalia, I'll write mainly of his medieval adventures. whenever I write of him in modern times, he'll either be a ghost or he'll be alive under another name (I'll specify in the beginning of the chapter)

regarding culture, there's a holiday in russia, in the volga-ural area, that's called sabantuy. it apparently dates back to the times when volga bulgaria still existed. so yeah here's that

also, the population of volga bulgaria practiced agriculture, animal farming, trading and various crafts. sciences were well-studied.

as for his looks, I'm tempted to make him danube bulgaria's identical twin bc of the prank potential. besides, you know how identical twins are commonly believed to have the same DNA? (actually, identical twins' DNA is not 100% the same in all cases due to small mutations that occurred as early as their fetal development but shhh that's not important here). what I mean is that with age, due to external factors, differences in the gene expression of monozygotic twins begin to stack. while their dna might remain identical, different proteins will be synthesized, with regards to whichever genes are currently expressed. and so, identical twins can differ in stuff. I think it would fit the two countries bc they basically started as the same people that got separated into two in the late 7th century but then, when they settled in new lands, they got into different environments and were surrounded by different people that they mixed with (slavs and romanized balkan populations such as descendants of thracians in danube bulgaria's case and ugro-finns and turkic tribes in volga bulgaria's case), later they accepted different religions and became parts of different cultural spheres.

his personality:

* smug
* maybe even a bit condescending towards others and full of himself (if this wasn't a crackfic au I wouldn't make him such a jerk)
* ambitious
* super clever, will always outwit you
* I mean it was bc of his wit that he was so good at trading
* and bc he was so good at trading, he became super rich and prosperous
* likes to flaunt his wealth, his smartness and his success
* and to tell others scary stories about flying snakes, giants, etc so he can frighten them
* loves luxury and his power
* a bully, manipulative/verbally aggressive
* on the other hand, he wasn't really physically aggressive, he'd act aggressive only after being provoked (that is, physically attacked) by others (often, it was the rus' principalities who raided volga bulgaria first)
* likes riddles and testing how smart his neighbors/allies/friends/subordinates are
* likes roasting people
* despite being a bully, he actually cares a lot about his "friends"... yeah he might fight them or ruin their negotiations with others but in times of need, he's always ready to help

* the reason why he acts in such a prideful and condescending way is that he wasn't strong and prosperous all the time
* in fact, when he was a child, he was weak and poor
* and he had to obey and pay annual taxes to the person who killed his dad
* and it wasn't even him who got to kill khazaria, it was kievan rus'
* all of this left him with a deep feelings of powerlessness and inferiority that he attempts to cover up with power, wealth and prosperity
* bullying others gives him a sense of power and superiority
* doesn't trust others, wants to keep his vulnerabilities hidden, that's why he avoids making emotional connections with people
* yeah he might be extroverted, talkative, outgoing and stuff but that doesn't mean he creates deep friendships with most people (although that changed; as he grew up, he became more willing to genuinely open up to others and get emotionally involved with them)
* also by being aggressive he makes others not want to mess with him, aka "get them before they get me" mentality
* you might say "why would he be a bully when he knows how bad it is to be hurt and humiliated?" well not everyone who has suffered at someone else's hands thinks that way. what if he's like "yeah it was my fault I got hurt and controlled when I was younger bc I was weak, now I'm strong, I'ma hurt and control others bc it's their fault for being weak, this is what they deserve" which is a super toxic philosophy to have and I can easily see it driving him to a breakdown

* very competitive, constantly compares himself with others, mainly his brother
* bc of the khazars, he began standing out in the 10th century, while danube bulgaria was prominent since the 9th century
* imagine the conflict tho if volga bulgaria has survived until modern days under another name... his brother is an independent country, while he's under russia's rule and doesn't even call himself "bulgaria" anymore

* likes to prank people together with his brother
* but sometimes, he'll prank his brother or frame him

* in the tenth century, he was one of the most hygienic countries, as his people would bathe and clean their teeth regularly... the oghuz turks, the bashkirs and the rus', on the other hand...

* highly curious, likes learning
* loves sciences such as astronomy, math, medicine, chemistry, theology, philosophy
"YOU UTTER FOOL! BULGAR SCIENCE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD!"
* loves the feeling of superiority and security that knowledge gives him

* one of the few who have beaten mongolia's ass (1223, samara bend)
* but later he got his ass beat
* and maybe he was even killed idk

* was something like childhood friends (or frenemies) with russia
* they would fight sometimes but then still be good friends
* they'd fight over who was more powerful and who had more influence over the middle volga region
* I guess he was actually quite kindhearted despite his mean exterior bc he helped russia when there was a famine in 1229
* maybe he did it to feel significant, powerful or valuable, as if others depend on him? nope, he's not that type of person, despite occasionally acting in a narcissistic way
* or maybe he simply didn't want his trading partners dead? nah nah he's not some psycho
* he's not a narcissist nor a psychopath
* wouldn't it be pog if he has survived until modern days though? he'd be russia's childhood friend and they'd get involved into all sorts of zany stuff
* although russia can be quite cruel to his "friends"
* also bc he's close friends with russia, belarus would probably be very jealous

* on the other hand, if he's dead, then he can haunt and scare people along with his dad
* or annoy the hell out of the golden horde in the afterlife
* imagine him as a ghost trying to bully & frighten belarus and she is just really unfazed and annoyed
* and she shuts him down with one-liners
* he persists in being annoying and she exposes all of his insecurities, turning him into a crying wreck
* belarus (in a monotonous voice): "look at yourself, you're not even a country but the ghost of a country bc you were too weak, you're just a loser who feels weak and pathetic, that's why you need to bully and scare others, that way you feel stronger than them and better about urself"
* volga bulgaria: *cries*
* then she tells him to stop whining and gtfo
* afterwards in the afterlife, old great bulgaria senses that something is wrong
* when he finds out what happened, he gives his son ideas how to roast her back ("TELL HER SHES A CRAZY INCESTUOUS BISH WHO CLINGS TO HER BROTHER FOR VALIDATION AND PROTECTION") and psychologically torture her as a revenge (e.g. possess stuff russia gave to her and break it)

* what if he's alive in the modern days though
* what if he's chuvashia and he has amnesia (and has forgotten everything besides his language) but is slowly regaining his memory?

* or, alternatively, what if he's tatarstan and he doesn't have amnesia, but he has changed his name? and chuvashia is his childhood frenemy/friend who is/descends from the sabirs/the suvars?
* then he'd also be very good childhood friends with bashkiria I guess
* and he miiiiiiiight have had a liiiiiiitle crush on turkey in the 19th century
* but then he met him in person and became disillusioned and disinterested (the ottoman empire was crumbling while refusing to modernize properly)
* also while he might've been a bully as a child, he's quite different now. several major events in his life and becoming close friends with several other nations made him become gentler and rethink his life philosophy... although he can still be sassy at times
* also I imagine russia tried to troll him once by telling him they were gonna watch a movie... but the movie turned out to be about ivan the terrible who took over kazan in 1552. (let's say that russia's prank didn't end cause laughter, but tears... and perhaps he, due to being very dense, apparently couldn't understand why. as u know, bc of his abusive childhood, russia is messed up. perhaps he doesn't understand why mass murder and destruction can be painful to remember, as he simply becomes detached and confused when it comes to remembering such stuff. or maybe he actually intended to trigger his "friend" for his own amusement, then he decided to play dumb... I mean, childhood trauma can make someone sadistic)

* alternatively, volga bulgaria might be dead, with chuvashia and tatarstan being both related to him in some way
* what if they bicker over his legacy?