'germany, CHOOSE ME!' bulgaria yells. 'I'm an eu member!'
'NO GERMANY CHOOSE ME!' turkey shouts. 'his politicians are corrupt and he's the worst eu member'
'as if yours aren't! and you can't even get into the eu! germany, look, I can play the kaval and the bulgarian bagpipe, oh and I make delicious yogurt! oh and let's not forget the famous rose oil and the rose valley-'
'whatever, I can play the zurna, also my yogurt is better and I produce more rose oil-'
'noNONO MY YOGURT IS BETTER! ASK ANYONE-' here bulgaria remembers that yogurt is known mostly as greek yogurt across the world, except for east asia 'IDK MAYBE JAPAN ASK HIM IF HE'S HEARD OF TURKISH YOGURT NO HE HASN'T HE KNOWS BULGARIAN YOGURT ALSO MY ROSE OIL IS BETTER THAN YOURS EVERYONE KNOWS THAT, IT'S BECAUSE OF THE CLIMATE- LOOK I CAN SING WELL' *starts singing*
'you call that terrible noise singing? HERE I'LL MAKE MORE NOISE' *starts banging two frying pans together*
'MY SINGING IS NOT TERRIBLE IT'S DIVINE EVERYONE LOVES BULGARIAN FOLK MUSIC NO I'LL MAKE MORE NOISE' *screams as loud as possible*
'ahem, GENTLEMEN!' germany finally says something with an expression that's a mixture of discomfort, anger, third-party embarrassment, cringing and trying to remain stoic. 'THIS IS ABOUT A NEW VOLKSWAGEN FACTORY! CALM DOWN!'
next to him, the ceo of the company is standing, looking at the two countries with furrowed brows
actually the project ended up being cancelled bc of covid as there is less demand for cars bc of the pandemic