it's some time in the late 15th - early 16th century. I suppose in this chapter the kazan khanate is just volga bulgaria under another name, hence the stupid jokes (remember when I said dumb jokes are genetic?)

the kazan khan: ok kazan go patrol the western borders to make sure there are no muscovite raids. chuvash and cheremis, u go with him!

chuvash (to cheremis): ugh do we rlly have to be grouped with this guy he's ok but his jokes are kinda lame and annoying

cheremis: oh cmon give him a chance besides it's not like we can choose whether to go with him or not

chuvash: ok I've got an idea let's not talk to him so he'll have no chance of saying his lame jokes. no conversation, no jokes

cheremis: sounds good, I'm in

and so the three head towards the western border of the kazan khanate.

kazan (trying to start a conversation): hey u two seem like u rlly like to ride horses-

chuvash: yeah?

kazan: u know who else likes to ride a horse?

chuvash: who?

kazan: ME U DUMBASS! *rears his horse* *twirls his lasso in the air* WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *hits chuvash in the face with the lasso without noticing*

chuvash (annoyed, to cheremis, quietly): ok thats it I'm heading back

cheremis: bruh we gotta patrol the border. besides, it's not like u can go back, I doubt the khan is gonna be happy

chuvash: ugh ok

kazan (who overheard their conversation, grinning): U'KNOW WHO ELSE LIKES TO SAY UGH OK?

chuvash and cheremis: ...

kazan: MEEE! *laughs at his own joke, this time without rearing his horse and twirling his lasso*

chuvash: *begins to head back* (whispers to cheremis): look I'ma partol on my own

cheremis: noo it's dangerous besides cmon give kazan a chance this time he didn't do the horse rear and the lasso twirl

chuvash: ugh fine I'll stick with u

they keep on riding the horses.

kazan: ugh guys it's getting rlly quiet and boring. why don't u say something?

chuvash and cheremis: ...

kazan: this awkwardness is rlly annoying. u'know who hates awkwardness, boredom and being annoyed? MEE!

chuvash and cheremis: ...

some time later, a small animal scares cheremis's horse which ends up with him falling off it and the horse running away. chuvash goes to get the horse and kazan helps cheremis get back up.

kazan: hey u alright? anything hurt? anything broken?

cheremis: no, no, I'm fine, it's nothing big

kazan (smiles smugly): u'know who else fell off their horse like that?

cheremis (clenches lips angrily): ...

kazan: bashkiria, he was being rlly annoying

cheremis (surprised): wait what?

kazan: u'know who pushed him off?

cheremis: ummm-

kazan: ME! :DDDDDDD

cheremis: wait what why would u do that I though he was ur best friend?

kazan: he was being kinda annoying with asking me who I liked so yeah

chuvashia returns with the horse and the three decide to sit down for a while and eat.

kazan (to chuvashia): ooh, u like that sausage?

chuvash: mhm?

kazan: u'know who else likes it? *reaches to grab some slices of the sausage*

*chuvash's food gets stuck in his throat*

kazan: MEEEE! :DDDD *shoves sausage slices in mouth*

they keep eating in silence. chuvash is thinking "thank god his mouth is full so he can't say dumb jokes" but then kazan swallows his food and reaches for a piece of cheese. as soon as he takes a bite of the cheese, his face scrunches up in revulsion.

kazan: man this cheese sucks. did it get spoiled or what? it smells rlly bad. u'know what else smells rlly bad?

cheremis is about to laugh. 'is he gonna say "me"? but he doesn't smell bad, he actually bathes all the time so what is the joke gonna be this time?' he thinks.

chuvash, on the other hand, is disgusted. nobody knows whether it's because of the cheese or because of the lame overused joke.

kazan: MEE! after a long battle that has lasted days! although once the battle is over, I make sure to bathe. being dirty is one of the things I hate the most-'

'U'KNOW WHAT I HATE THE MOST? YOUR LAME JOKES!' chuvash can't bear it anymore. 'YOU KEEP REPEATING THAT SAME JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN! AND TO BEGIN WITH, IT'S NOT EVEN GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT! IT SHOULD BE "I" NOT "ME"! ALSO, HOW'S THAT A JOKE? IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! YOU JUST KEEP SAYING RANDOM STUFF AND WHENEVER IT HAPPENS TO BE FUNNY, YOU'RE INSULTING YOURSELF INSTEAD OF OTHERS!'

kazan is taken back by his friend's sudden outburst. 'wait... what? what do you mean?'

'I MEAN THAT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR SUCKS. wait I'll teach you some jokes that are actually funny! like, it should be "you" instead of 'I' or however you say it, "me". listen: you know who finds their clothes in the garbage? you! you know who else has to suck it up to others? you! hey, cheremis, help me out!'

'you know who else smells bad? you! you know who can't tell a proper joke? you-'

'ARE YOU TWO INSULTING ME? ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?' *pulls sword out of scabbard* *guttural* 'NOBODY! MAKES! FUN! OF ME!' *comes closer towards his friends and points the sword at them* 'YOU! SAY THAT MY CLOTHES ARE THE BEST!'

'y-your clothes are th-the best'

'AND YOU, SAY THAT I'M THE STRONGEST AND THE POGGEST!'

'y-you're the strongest and the... the poggest'

'AND NOW U TWO SAY THAT MY SCENT AND MY JOKES ARE THE BEST-' kazan suddenly bursts laughing and drops his sword. his laughter is so intense that he clutches his stomach and falls on the ground.

'OMG U SHOULD'VE SEEN UR FACES-' he keeps on laughing, finding it hard to take a breath. 'I... I WASN'T GONNA STAB YOU...'

'wh-what do you mean?!'

once kazan has calmed down, he explains.

'look... the entire thing was a prank... I pranked you so hard! I overheard you talk about me and my jokes before we set off. so I came up with this idea. I'd repeat the lamest stuff I could think of. like not the usual kind of lame, but an extraordinary type of lame. eventually, you'd snap. you'd start correcting me... and I'd pretend to be offended by your joke samples, as if they're offensive jokes pointed at me. then I'd pretend to snap... and make it look like I've most my mind and I want to kill you. and you thought I was gonna do it for real! I can't believe it all went as I expected! guess I know u too well lolololol'

and chuvash is thinking 'bruh that was one creepy lame ass prank whats so funny about it oh yeah you get to laugh at us' but he didn't dare bringing it up. he wasn't going to say anything about kazan's humor anymore.

they continue patrolling in awkward silence. once they return to the city and chuvash and cheremis are left alone. cheremis is like 'man remind me to never say anything regarding this guy's humor again'

chuvash: ugh that guy... as of recently, I really don't like him

cheremis: you know who else doesn't like him?

eventually they ended up deserting kazan for russia