the next day, the occult gang gathers again. they chat about stuff like what type of supernatural creatures they have in their countries and whether they've seen any ghosts recently. eventually, the topic about old great bulgaria comes up. apparently they're not interested in old great bulgaria's culture, personality or relationship with his son, they just wanna see a darn nation ghost.

and england's like,

'say, bulgaria, when does ur dad's ghost appear?'

'well there are certain days of the year when he can appear. they don't fit our calendar exactly, but I've come up with a formula to evaluate when the next one is gonna be. maybe they're related to the bulgar calendar... which I sadly don't remember. anyways, the next day he'll be able to appear is in... 153 days. and I'm not rlly sure if he WILL appear.'

'oh... '

and then norway's like

'but there are spells that can open rifts to the afterlife for ghosts to come to our world, we don't have to wait for a natural thinning of the dimensions' borders'

'K LETS DO IT'

and bulgaria's like 'bruh wth they didn't rlly ask me if I'm ok with summoning my dad or seeing him I don't wanna get emotional in front of everybody but can I rlly stop them? besides, I don't wanna wait 153 days... and the last time there was such a day, he didn't even appear'

so they open up a portal. it's purple and it glows and the lights of the room went out before it appeared and they had read some weird book for the portal to open also it's dark and cloudy outside don't ask me why it's rlly atmospheric but also rlly stereotypical I know

'bulgaria u gotta attract him to our world' england says to which the yogurt boi shrugs.

belarus be like 'I've got an idea' and yells into the portal 'FREE YOGURT! FREE YOGURT FOR EVERYBODY'

nothing happens and the portal just hangs midair, making swooshing noises.

'wait I'll try' bulgaria chimes in. 'FREE YOGURT! FREE YOGURT FOR-'

FWOOOOOOOOM

the portal becomes unstable quickly, glowing brighter and eventually imploding with a bright flash that knocks everyone on the ground. as they get up, they notice a man that looks like bulgaria, except he has a beard and several scars, he's wearing a pointy hat with fur on the edge, a knee-long red kaftan with golden edging, ultramarine pants and red boots that almost reach his knees. he's also semi-transparent. he's smiling smugly with his chin pointing up, his hands are balled up into fists and resting on the sides of his waist and his feet are apart and firm on the ground.

'SO I SAW THIS PORTAL OPEN RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND I HEARD SOMEONE SAY THERE WAS FREE YOGURT. I THOUGHT TO MYSELF "THAT'S TOOOOOTALLY NOT SUSPICIOUS AT ALL" BUT THEN I HEARD MY SON'S VOICE AND I REALIZED YOU WEREN'T TRYING TO TRICK ME. NOW WHERE'S MY YOGURT?' he yells in his echoing voice.

the occult club members are super excited and a bit scared at the same time, except for bulgaria, who's grinning and beaming (not literally bruh he's not a light bulb ffs). old great bulgaria looks around.

'pssst hey son. are those nerds ur friends? anyways they gotta be rlly cool nerds cuz they helped u summon me. the girl looks a bit like the severyans btw. cmon, isn't there any yogurt? man, I knew u were scamming me but I still came. why th would u lie to me though. u could've just asked me to come. now I rlly wanna eat yogurt but there isn't any.'

england is the first to pull himself together.

'so tell me sir, how could you consume something material such as yogurt if you're a ghost?'

'WELL WELL WELL I'M A VERY OLD AND POWERFUL GHOST THATS HOW. BESIDES, WE HAVE YOGURT IN THE SPIRIT WORLD TOO BUT IF I HAD BROUGHT SOME, IT'D JUST PHASE THROUGH YOUR MOUTHS AS YOU TRY TO EAT IT. CMON, WON'T U GIVE ME SOME YOGURT?'

'WAIT THAT'S RAD' belarus exclaims. 'HOW POWERFUL ARE U? ARE U MORE POWERFUL THAN HUMAN GHOSTS?'

'YES'

then the wall bursts. a water pipe explodes... but it's not water that comes out of it. instead, it's ayran. initially, it's sprouting downwards... but then it starts going up... it's like gravity is coming from the ceiling rather than the ground. the ayran begins to gather on the ceiling without even dripping.

the occult club members are dazzled. old great bulgaria is super happy to have all this attention and admiration. he loves how everyone is focused on him. that way, he has power over them. and bulgaria is just filled with joy because of how happy his new friends and his dad are and how well they get along. although the burst pipe and the ayran on the ceiling are kinda concerning...

'if you're so powerful, why don't u make some yogurt for urself if u wanna eat yogurt that badly?'

old great bulgaria is about to answer but then the door of the occult club slams open, revealing the headmaster.

'YES! MY PLAN HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL!' the headmaster exclaims. 'NOW I CAN INFORM YOU ABOUT YOUR SON'S MISBEHAVIOR AND WE CAN DISCUSS IT TOGETHER'

then the headmaster notices the hole in the wall and the burst pipe but thinks 'well it's worth it if it'll prevent any future misdemeanor'

'LOL NO' then old great bulgaria turns to his son. 'say my boy, was this loser the one giving u hard time? did this loser side with the ones that punched u or tried drowning u?'

'yeah-'

then old great bulgaria turns back to the headmaster. the ayran on the ceiling, rather than being spread evenly, is now gathered in one huge bulge right above the headmaster's head (the headmaster doesn't notice that).

'WELL SUCKER TOO BAD BEING A TROUBLEMAKER IS IN MY AND MY SON'S NAME'

the ayran bulge crashes down the headmaster. it's like one glorious ayran waterfall.

the headmaster falls on the ground.

'OH NOOO' old great bulgaria makes fun of the headmaster while flying around in a circle around the headmaster as the headmaster is struggling to get up. 'WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DOOOO? EXPEL MEEEE? CALL THE SECURITY? THE POLIIIICE? THE GHOSTBUSTERS? LOL U CAN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING TO MY SON U CAN'T THREATEN HIM OR PUNISH HIM OR EXPEL HIM CUZ HE'S NOT THE ONE CAUSING THE CHAOS LOLOLOL U PLANNED THIS WELL I DIDN'T PLAN IT I ADAPT TO THE MOMENT U LOST AND I WON-'

but then the same swooshing sound from before is heard.

'I forgot to mention that the interdimensional rift doesn't last forever' norway speaks up.

the purple portal from before opens up again. it sucks old great bulgaria and the book used to summon it in and disappears, flashing brightly and temporarily blinding everyone.

'THE FUC-' belarus is shocked.

the headmaster gets up, trying to get the ayran out of the clothing. good for the headmaster cuz the ayran turned back into water as old great bulgaria disappeared and now the only thing that has to happen is the clothes becoming dry.

'bulgaria, all of this is your fault and you'll be the one to clean it up. everyone, if you speak about what just happened, I'll expel u. we'll say instead that a terrifying demon was summoned and it was going to kill everyone and destroy everything, but you managed to contain it successfully. although why tf does our school have an occult club in the first place wth what was I thinking when I allowed this wait a little everything was nice and peaceful before the chaos and destruction that happened when bulgaria joined. either kick him out, or I'll disband the club'

'WAIT YOU CAN'T DO THAT' bulgaria cries.

'YES I CAN DO YOU THINK I'LL FORGET UR SHIT-EATING GRIN AND UR LAUGHTER WHEN UR DAD WAS BULLYING ME Y'ALL HEARD ME'

'sorry bulgaria u gotta leave'

'BUT I DIDN'T EVEN SUMMON HIM I WASN'T THE ONE WHO CAST THE PORTAL SPELL I WASN'T THE ONE WHO BROKE THE WALL AND TORE THE PIPE AND FLOODED EVERYTHING WITH AYRAN-'

'yeah but u were ok with him being summoned and u called for him through the portal besides he's ur dad not someone else's'

'B-BUT-' bulgaria runs away crying.

'bruh who's gonna clean up now' the headmaster gets annoyed

bulgaria got kicked out of yet another club.

oh well, tomorrow is saturday...