the afterlife.
oghuz khaganate: dang the afterlife is really boring, even the funniest things get boring after a while
old great bulgaria, enthusiastic: WANNA GO HAUNT* SOME LOSERS?
*read: bully
oghuz khaganate: why tho?
old great bulgaria: cuz it's fun like can u imagine one of the strongest and most powerful nations in the human world is DEATHLY AFRAID OF GHOSTS lmao so pathetic... lil piece of shit has made me laugh for hours
old great bulgaria places his hand on the oghuz khaganate's shoulder and leans close.
old great bulgaria (in a low voice, if this was the anime, he'd have a dark shadow over his face or something): also he ruined your most beloved thing ever. he calls ayran a "yogurt drink". he doesn't know the word ayran. HE PUTS TONS OF AROMATIZERS AND SWEETENERS IN IT.
oghuz khaganate: ok now it's personal
they go to the mortal world. now they're standing in front of america's house and it's nighttime there. they fail to notice belarus who's observing them from distance, hidden behind some bushes. she's like "ghostsssss" she's just like zoe hange from aot who's obsessed with titans except that she's obsessed with ghosts.
old great bulgaria: so this is america's house. go on, scare him. I've scared him so many times that it's not that fun anymore. meanwhile I'll go rummage through his fridge, I hope he has some good yogurt this time
meanwhile, america wakes up with his stomach rumbling. he's like "welp time for a midnight snack!" and he goes to the kitchen.
at the same time, the oghuz khaganate is hiding behind the fridge, ready to scare america. in his right hand, he's holding his sabre, so he looks more fearsome. "ok oghuz" he thinks to himself "u still got it. ur voice can still make ppl tremble in fear and run like sheep. u can do it. u can scare this little shit ass motherfucker."
america opens the fridge and takes a fruit yogurt.
BOO!
the oghuz khaganate jumps out, yelling. america yelps and drops his yogurt.
'y-you're!... you're!...'
'FEARSOME? TERRIFYING? UNDEFEATABLE?'
'... appropriating a black hairstyle!'
'wait what? what is a "black hairstyle"? what do you mean? is it that my hair is jet black? what does "appropriating" mean? HEY!'
*america runs away*
'COME BACK U COWARD! EXPLAIN YOURSELF'
the oghuz khaganate can hear america's voice from the other room. he's like -_- 'bruh what a loser are u gonna call mommy or what u stupid coward spitting nonsensical stuff'
'g-ghostbusters? there's a problematic eurasian...'
the oghuz khaganate: -_-
'...person?-'
the oghuz khaganate: ಠ_ಠ
'-ghost thing in my kitchen, they have a sword CAN U COME QUICK PLS I DON'T WANT THE ONE WITH THE PUNK HAIRSTYLE TO ALSO COME ;-; '
meanwhile old great bulgaria walks into the kitchen as if he's at his own yurt, squats down, picks the yogurt up and starts reading the contents table.
'dang what a shame he calls that sweet mush "yogurt" bitch u know nothing about yogurt u always whine about cultural theft and shit yet here u are, stealing steppe nomads' food and ruining it with all this sugar and additives while claiming it as yours'
he stands up, looks at the oghuz khaganate and proceeds to talk while gesturing with the hand that holds the yogurt. now if this was in the hetalia anime, the oghuz khaganate would be staring into nothingness with shadow over his face.
'dude u rlly gotta grow a beard or a mustache at least. and u gotta learn how to scare people, I'll teach u. wanna start with the ghostbusters?'
*some time later*
*the ghostbusters have their ghost-removing weapons charged and pointed at old great bulgaria and the oghuz khaganate*
*america is standing between the ghosts and the ghostbusters like a shield that's there to protect the ghosts cuz the ghosts wanted to talk to him and he agreed*
old great bulgaria, to america: dude ur so dumb. eurasian "person"? cmon man. did u not recognize the oghuz khaganate, turkey's dad? *he picks up his friend's braids, revealing a familiar hair curl on the back of his neck where his neck connects with his head*
america: how can I recognize him when I haven't met him before?
old great bulgaria: well idk don't they look alike?
america: not really, this guy here is shorter and kinda asian-looking
old great bulgaria: surprising or not, he's turkey's dad. the same turkey who's ur important ally. the same turkey that u like to make gobble gobble jokes about. the same turkey behind whose back u like to talk.
oghuz khaganate: *gets angry*
ghostbusters *move around so america is not in the way of their weapons*
old great bulgaria: the same turkey that u trash-talk when he's not around.
america: that's a lie I haven't trash-talked him I haven't spoken behind his back-
oghuz khaganate: *gets REALLY ANGRY*
old great bulgaria: dang now I remembered what u say about turkey during ur discussions with ur bosses. yeah I might be vulgar he might be vulgar we might swear a lot but I won't say it! it's not cuz we hate swearing! it's cuz I respect my friend here! *places hand on the oghuz khaganate's shoulder* and I don't want him to get angry or upset :D
oghuz khaganate: *EXPLODES WITH ANGER, FUMING, LUNGES AT AMERICA*
america: *FRIGGIN SCREAMS*
the ghostbusters: *fire their weapons*
old great bulgaria: *teleports himself and the oghuz khaganate on the lawn outside just before they're hit by the weapons*
*america and the entire room get covered with sweet fruit yogurt*
so our 2 heroes are sitting outside on the grass. old great bulgaria is rolling on the ground with laughter while the oghuz khaganate is sitting there shocked like 'wth just happened'
'LMFAOOO I KNEW I SHOULD'VE BROUGHT U U MADE THINGS MUCH MORE DIFFERENT MUCH LESS BORING MUCH LESS ORDINARY U RLLY SPICED THINGS UP U SHOULD'VE SEEN AMERICA'S FACE BEFORE I TELEPORTED US AWAYYYY U RLLY TERRIFIED HIM! I HAVEN'T LAUGHED THIS MUCH IN YEARS'
'dude u rlly live up to your name UR A TOTAL TROUBLEMAKER' *they bump their fists like bros*
turns out that old great bulgaria had replaced the weapons' ammo with the yogurt from america's fridge and pointed the weapons at america with his ghost powers in the last moment. also the oghuz khaganate is so naive lol old great bulgaria just played him like a fiddle the only thing that america has done to turkey are gobble gobble jokes, old great bulgaria lied about america trash-talking turkey or speaking behind turkey's back but oh well he needed a distraction for his yogurt swap spell and the oghuz khaganate's outburst turned out to be perfect for that goal
later, when america opens a yogurt from his fridge, he discovers parts of the ghostbusters' machines and ammo inside the cup instead of yogurt