the afterlife.
avar khaganate: dammmn I'm so boooored.
old great bulgaria / bulgar: whenever I'm bored, I go bully losers in the mortal world. wanna try?
avar: sure
bulgar: there's that one loser who's mortally afraid of ghosts, it's always fun to scare him
they go to america's house and enter the living room. it's nighttime.
bulgar: u stay here, I'll go look for him and scare him in ur direction. do ur best
and so he leaves avar alone.
then suddenly, the lights in the living room get turned on. america is standing in the doorway with a hand on the light switch.
'WHAT THE-' america is startled. well at this point he's not going to run away screaming. he's starting to get used to ghosts. 'oh hey there... ur not gonna speak? well I will. allow me to introduce myself. I represent the united states of america, but u can call me america. now tell me... which native tribe did u use to represent before dying?'
avar turns around.
'oh nvm I'm sorry now I see ur more like those hu guys am I right?'
'idk what ur talking about. I'm the avar khaganate, but u can call me avar. I used to have a country in europe, but I'm from the steppes'
'dang I've never heard about u dude'
'yeah ur not the only one who hasn't heard of me'
then bulgar arrives.
'oh this is where u are' he says when he sees america. then he walks up to avar and whispers to him. 'dude ur supposed to be scaring him, bullying him, terrifying him, traumatizing him and stuff. what r u even doing.'
avar responds with a quick glance, a nudge and a hush.
america, upon noticing bulgar, becomes uneasy.
'um-'
'dw. he's with me, he's not gonna do anything.'
'sooo... I heard u steppe guys like horses?'
'yeah' avar replies. bulgar stays silent. what is avar doing? is he plotting something? what is going on? oh well, he's gonna play along. for now.
'wanna see 1000 horses in one place?'
'sure' avar replies.
'ok follow me' and so they head towards america's garage.
america: so guys u said u wanna see 1000 horses, right?
*shows them his ferrari*
bulgar: where are the horses
avar: yeah are they invisible?
america: no guys :D they're inside here *pats on the ferrari*
avar: are they super tiny? *pinches air*
bulgar: *tears door off with his ghost superstrength and tosses it to the side* where? I don't see them
america: NONO I CAN EXPLAIN THEY'RE THERE BUT-
bulgar: ARE U TRYING TO SCAM US
avar, who's calm and smiling, shoves bulgar away and comes super close to america. his face is centimeters away from america's.
'I know how it feels to be great and powerful. I also know that scamming people and taking their money seems pleasant and fun and a good idea at first, but it will corrupt you from the inside as your people start doing this to each other. Once you're corrupt, you'll wither. And when you wither, your enemies will crush you, all of your people will die or get assimilated, dust will be all that remains from your settlements and nothing from you will be left, not even your name. You'll be forever gone and the only thing remaining from you will be a trace in the annals of history that will be only visible to a handful of people who take interest in history.'
america: *starts crying* *doesn't even pay attention to the ghosts* *curls into a ball on the ground*
avar: damn I think I broke him :D
bulgar: lmao how pathetic
avar: *laughs*
bulgar: isn't it lame how someone like him is considered a great power
avar: yeah... but he won't be great forever... he'll wane like how hundreds before him did. *kneels down and rubs america's shoulder, to which america whimpers and winces* dw dude when u die, u'll get to hang with us :D
fr tho avar is worse than bulgar
bulgar jumpscares him, pranks him with yogurt, makes fun of him and all that, but avar digs at his deepest fears, making him terrified of the future
and this all happened bc america decided to be friendly with the ghosts and offer them a ride in his ferrari and used metaphors for horsepower...
'when he dies, I'ma kick lombard outta the clique and take him in, like sorry dude, we found another blond guy that's funnier to be bullied' - avar