bulgar is standing on a horse, yeah, he's not sitting on the saddle, HE'S STANDING ON IT. avar is holding the horse's reins so it stays in place.
'now I'ma jump and do a 360 noscope of that target there :D ' bulgar says and jumps off the horse, spinning in the air and shooting an arrow with his bow at a target, hitting it in the middle.
'damn man this was rlly poggers' the avar khaganate says.
(yeah I know I know they didn't say poggers in the 6-7th century and that medieval ppl didn't know what a 360 noscope was and it wasn't a noscope cuz bows have no scope but yeah are u rlly looking for logic in this crackfic out of all the fics out there)
but then the eastern roman empire appears.
'that's so cringe' she says.
'YOU'RE CRINGE' avar yells at her. 'we're having fun without hurting anybody and u come here, trying to bully us and ruin our good time and make us feel like we're not cool while u probably feel like ur very cool and mature (SPOILERS: UR NOT.). this is cringe!'
she's like 'oh...' and then she walks away, with tears in her eyes, like she's bout to cry
who knows, maybe the eastern roman empire meant this fic as a whole and not whatever avar and bulgar were doing or the way they were speaking