"Baby! We need to get up. I want to see the kids before work. And I know we don't have to be in till 11 but I want to ride for a bit before work." Kim was pushing herself off the bed trying to get up. "No. Not yet!" Adam pulling her back down. "Just a few more minutes!" Adam groaned holding her tight. "Fine but I'm still going riding. I have a feeling today's gonna be strange. I doubt that's the last we will hear from Bruno. I just feel like it's gonna want to hear it from me. God that sounds so egotistical." Kim shook her head as she buried her face in Adams neck. "No it doesn't. You know the guy. You knew how he felt or alluded to feel. You were smart for keeping things professional with him. But really who could blame him? You are amazing Kim. Really you are." He kissed her head as he ran his fingers up and down her spine.
"Thank you for saying that! It's just weird to talk about with you. Like I know we need to but it's still strange. Let's get up now. I want to see my babies." Kim started to get out of bed and headed towards the shower. Adam wasn't too far behind her. "You know I want to see your kids too. I really love watching you with them. You are a great mom." Adam kissed her softly before helping her step in the shower. Kim blushed before kissing him back. They both showered quickly before they got dressed and headed to Kim's home.
"Hey April the kids still asleep?" Kim asked walking into the house. "Yeah. How'd it go last night?" April asked. "It was fine. Though Bruno was there. Like why is he here? It's insane! But otherwise it went well. It was a late night. But it's good." Kim explained. "Bruno? Why is he here? So stupid. Go get the kids. We can always talk later." April excused herself to the kitchen to get breakfast while Kim headed towards the kids room. "You can come with if you like." Kim looked over her shoulder towards Adam. He nodded and followed behind her. They slowly walked up the stairs hand in hand to see if the kids were still asleep. Kim opened the door to find both kids playing quietly.
"Well good morning! Looks like you two are having fun already." Kim laughed sitting next to the kids hugging them gently. "We playing." Milo stated as he put the blocks together. "I can see that! Did you both sleep well?" Kim asked holding Mia in her lap. "Yes mommy. You not home before." Mia whispered. "Oh did come looking for me before." Kim looked back at Adam surprised. She felt Mia nodding her head. "Well I'm sorry sweetheart. I had to work really late and didn't want to wake you guys when I came home so I stayed at Adams house." Kim tried to explain knowing it was only partially true. They did work late but it wasn't that late. She and Adam just wanted to be together and Kim wasn't quiet ready to have sex with her kids down the hall.
"Adam?" Milo perked up. "Yeah bud?" He wasn't sure if Milo was asking a question or talking to him. "Adam!" Milo jumped up running to him. "Hey buddy! It's good to see you too!" Adam ruffled his hair before lifting him to get a hug. It was clear as day Milo needed a make influence in his life after not having one for pretty much his entire life. "Adam play?" He asked excitedly. "Sure buddy. I would like that." Kim watched Adam join them on the floor putting Milo down to play again. Mia took her chance to move over to Adam and snuggle against him as well. He was taken aback by the kids reaction to him this morning. He definitely hadn't been expecting it at all. Especially since he was still getting to know them.
"Looks like you have some fans." Kim gave him a very knowing look. She could tell he was surprised but she also knew deep down he loved it. "I guess so. Not gonna lie. I like it. Probably more than i should since I know they aren't mine and that I haven't know them long. But I like knowing they like me and feel comfortable around me. I hope that makes sense." He wasn't sure if he was making sense or not. It was a little over whelming and scary but he was loving it. "It makes perfect sense. I like the fact they know they can go to you and that they trust you. Makes things easier for me too. Because if they didn't like you we couldn't be together. So this makes me happy." Kim leaned in to place her head on his shoulder. It was comfortable and relaxing. Just being next to him made her feel safe. This was what she had missing for years. It was starting to feel like a real family. But it was too soon. Wasn't it?
Kim put those thoughts out of her head and just enjoyed time with her kids and Adam. She loved how they wanted to include him as they played. It was really sweet to watch. Eventually Kim knew they had to get moving. "Alright potty time, clothing changes then breakfast." Kim got up started moving the kids towards the bathroom to start their days. Once the kids were dressed they headed down the stairs to get breakfast started. Kim started to cook while Adam got the kids something to drink. He loved learning about their morning routine and Kim worked to keep him included. "Adam." Mia looked at him with a very curious face. "Yes little miss." He wasn't sure what was to come but he could assume it was a question. "Momma versary soon." Mia told him. He wasn't sure what that meant but decided to go along with it.
"Oh really? That's interesting. Do we buy gifts for that?" He was hoping to figure out what Mia meant by asking a broad follow up question. Before she could respond Kim jumped in. "No we don't. And sweetheart we don't have to worry about that anymore. That's over with now." Kim was stern but gently with her words. It dawned on Adam that Mia was referring to the wedding anniversary. He could only imagine how hard that day would be for her. The first officially divorced. He watched her return to the kitchen and was unsure if he should follow but decided to stay with the kids. Right now that was the safe option. Kim looked like a wounded bird at the moment so he let her be, for now.
Breakfast was served with little conversation. Adam unsure of her mood and the kids confused. Kim sulking. She felt like a failure. Her marriage failed so she failed. It was pretty cut and dry in her mind. She often wondered what she did wrong to make her husband hate her so much. That had never been clear. She never got an answer about it. She would lie awake at night thinking about where it all went wrong. She knew he wasn't happy about the pregnancy but she never thought he would turn on her. Neglect them. How anyone could do that to their own child was something she couldn't understand. She really did try in the beginning to get them to bond but it never worked. Maybe that's why the kids are clinging to Adam so much. They need a positive make influence in their lives.
When breakfast was over Adam took the kids to brush their teeth as Kim did the dishes. He knew she needed a break. "Momma sad Adam." Mia asked. "Maybe a little. Mommy just doesn't understand how daddy could hurt her like that. And the anniversary makes her sad because she feels like she failed. She will be okay. We just need to smother her with extra love." He tired to put the best positive spin on it he could but it was hard even for him. "Buy flowers?" Milo asked. "Sure we can buy her flowers. I'm sure she would like that." He had no idea if it would help or not but it couldn't hurt. He helped each kid take a turn at the sink before returning downstairs with them.
Kim looked much more positive than she had before or at least was hiding it better. "Alright let's get you two to school. Then mommy is going to go ride horses for a bit before work." She tried to sound upbeat but knew she was failing once again. The kids were bundled in the car and headed for school soon after. They talked the whole ride about their friends at school. Both Kim and Adam were thrilled by the number of friends each kid had. It made the move to the new state easier knowing they were coping well with the changes. Kim took the kids into the school while Adam texted a few people trying to figure out what to do for Kim. He wanted to do a few small things to make her smile. He also decided to text the team and offer the heads up. Maybe they would have advice? He could only hope.
Kim returned to find Adam on his phone. That was no big surprise at all. He didn't handle being bored well so he was always on his phone. "Alright I'm headed to the stables. Do you want to come with me?" Kim knew he liked to watch her ride but she also didn't want him getting bored. "Actually I have a few errands to run before work since we get to go in late today. So if you could drop me at my Jeep that would be great. Then I will meet you at the district with a fresh tea and a snack since I know you will be hungry again." Adam smiled wide knowing he knew her so well. Kims cheeks flushed right away. Almost embarrassed that he knew her so well already. "Sounds like a plan. I will miss you though." She tried to play off her embarrassment. "Perfect. You know it's cute when you blush. And it's okay that we know these things about each other. That's how we build a strong foundation. I promise you it's a good thing. Let's head out so you can get riding. I know you need it." He watched her blush again. He loved knowing you so well already.
Kim dropped Adam off at his car, which was at her place and watched him drive off. She followed him out of the neighborhood before turning towards the stables. He headed towards his home. Once she was out of sight he checked his phone to see if the team had responded. He was thrilled by all the replies.
"Don't forget mother's days coming up too. He probably didn't do anything about that either." Antonio replied.
"Get flowers and take her out to eat. Lessen the blow. She probably feels like a failure over it so just try to help her through it." Al replied which Adam liked.
"Yes Mothers Day! Okay spa day even if it's at home. Breakfast in bed. Followed by a long bath. A nice massage. Dinner out and flowers. We can watch the kids!" Erin was quick to volunteer her and Jay to babysit.
"Dawg! Take her somewhere fun. An activity to keep her mind busy. Just catch her when she falls. This ones the first after the divorce it's gonna be brutal." Kevin winced knowing it would be a tough day for all of them.
"Dude! She's an east coaster! Take her to the beach. Make a picnic lunch and enjoy the beach. She will love that. She's taking the kids to the beach in a few weeks for vacation. And Erin's right for Mother's Day. We will take the kids." Jay replied hoping it was a help.
"All good ideas! Anything you do will be good because you did something. It doesn't need to be perfect Adam. She will appreciate that you did something at all. I'm sure that asshole of an ex husband did nothing." Voight replied shocking all of them.
"Thanks for all the great advice. I have some days to plan now." Adam texted back before getting back on the road. He had a lot to do over the coming weeks to make Kim feel her worth. He knew it would be a long road before all the battle scars were behind them but he wanted to try his best to minimize the waves of trauma. He arrived at target to get some bath essentials for Kim. He texted Erin off and on to ensure he was getting good things that were worth the money. He knew just because it was expensive didn't mean it was worth it. He also wanted to make sure he had everything he needed. This was new to him so he wasn't sure what he was doing really.
He also made sure to grab some cards from the kids for their mother. He knew it was a small touch but that she would appreciate it. Once he finished he checked out and headed to his car. He fired off one final text to his sister this time asking her advice because she was a mother and would know what would be more appreciated, a home cooked meal for Mother's Day or going to a restaurant. He figured both would be okay but he figured asking can't hurt either. He was also fairly certain she had no idea about his relationship with Kim so it should make for an interesting day.
Pulling into the district he noticed Kim wasn't there yet which was perfect. He headed inside with flowers in hand ready to be placed on Kim's desk before she arrived. He also had her snack and tea just like he promised. "Ruzek! What's with the flowers?" Platt questioned giving him a strange look. "Just something nice for a friend. How long has he been here?" Adam pointed over his shoulder to Kim's old partner who looked bored and rejected. "An hour maybe more. Won't leave." Platt offered with a shrug. He nodded and headed up firing off a text to Kim letting her know to use the back entrance to avoid Bruno.
Adam got to work setting up the items on her desk. He wanted things to look perfect when she got there. The team trickled in slowly and started to work on paperwork. Kim had entered through the back as instructed by Adam. The team heard a gasp as she entered the bullpen from the back hallway. "OMG! Thank you so much!" She gushed as she took in the flowers on her desk with her promised items from Adam. "Well the kids felt bad this morning for bringing up your anniversary so Milo suggested flowers. They really felt bad about making you sad this morning." Adam admitted coming to stand by her side. "Thank you. Really I do appreciate it. I really just didn't need a reminder that that was coming up. I wanted to forget it. I don't need another reminder that I failed." Her stoic stance worried him, worried them but no one spoke up letting Adam handle it.
"You didn't fail. He failed. He failed you, your kids, your marriage. You tried, you tried for over two years. None of what happened is your fault. You did the best you could and when you knew things were never going to get better you left. That was the right call to make then and now. So don't be so hard on yourself." He kissed her cheek before returning to his desk. Kim smiled sitting down at her desk. It wasn't long before they heard the gate open and two sets of footprints. They all knew who it was. They had seen him downstairs waiting for Kim. Kim however didn't turn around knowing who was waiting for her. "Burgess! You have a visitor!" Platt yelled at her to turn around. "Thanks Sergeant Platt." Kim turned around looking at them. "Were you trying to ignore me?" Bruno asked walking towards her, arms open for a hug.
"Yeah I was. Not trying to rehash the past." Kim stated while not hugging him. "Really? I don't want to rehash things but I want to talk about it." Bruno offered pointing towards the break room. "We can go in there but there is nothing to talk about. We don't want the same things, never did." Kim motioned to follow her. As the door closed behind them he tried again to get a hug. "Please don't. Things are not the same. They never were the same. You wanted something that I couldn't give you. And you are married. You are still with your wife. And truly I have moved on. You need to do that too. Go home to your wife." Kim tried to leave the room but he stopped her. "What does that mean?" Bruno asked. "You always wanted something to happen between us, right?" She asked. "Yeah I like you a lot." He admitted his eyes pleading with her. "I didn't and still don't want anything to happen between us. And if something had happened it would have been unfair to you. Because it would have meant nothing to me. I'm sorry that's the truth." Kim was honest even though she knew it would hurt his feelings.
"Huh? Well I guess I should go then." He bowed his head and walked out the door. No one looked up to see him leave. They just waited till they heard the gate close before looking up to see Kim heading to her desk. "You okay?" Kevin asked seeing the tortured look on her face. "Yeah it's just not easy nor fun rejecting someone." Kim shrugged sitting down in her chair sighing heavily. "Has to be done girl! No use in dragging out something that will never happen. Honesty is the best policy." Kevin replied hoping to bring her some comfort. Kim just nodded and went back to work. The afternoon continued on quietly. The unit out of service for the day to finish paperwork from the night before.
Lunch was ordered and delivered around 2. Paperwork took a back seat while they ate. "How was riding?" Adam asked while eating his lunch. "It was nice, relaxing. Allowed me to clear my mind. Did you get your errand done?" Kim wasn't really hungry but was picking at her food. "Yeah I got a few things done. Still owe my sister a call but ran out of time." He replied knowing it was the truth but not giving her anything to question. "Sounds good! Maybe we could all hang out soon. Take the kids to the park or something." Kim suggested knowing his sister had a kid. "Sounds like a good plan. My nephew is older than your kids but it could still be fun." He wasn't sure he was ready for that but it was just a thought for the future so it was fine. "How old is he?" Kim had no idea since Adam didn't talk much about his family. "10. My sister started young. He's a good kid though." He shrugged.
They finished the day before heading home for the night. "Meet you at home?" Adam asked as they left the district. "Yeah sounds good. You can call your sister on the way. I'm sure she has questions if she talked to your dad recently." She smiled thinking of her freak out on Bob the day before. "Good point! Hadn't thought about that. But you are right. See you at home." He was surprised by how good calling her place home sounded. Truth was it felt more like home than his own place. "Meet you there baby! Love you!" Kim kissed him before getting in her car to head home. Adam watched her leave before jumping in his car. As he pulled out of the lot he called his sister knowing it was time.
"Adam Hey! So what's this about a girlfriend with kids? Sounds like you have some explaining to do." Kate laughed knowing he was rolling his eyes at her ambush. "Well hello to you too. And yes I have a girlfriend who has kids from a previous relationship. Her name is Kim, she's a detective in the unit. Her kids are almost 3, boy and girl twins. Milo and Mia. Their father, Kim's ex husband is on jail for domestic abuse. He was a real piece of work and she has insecurities and doubts now. Between her birthday, Mother's Day and their anniversary it's a bad month. I just need to know I'm doing good with all this." Adam was rambling and he wasn't sure why. "Alright well sounds like a lot but if you are happy then I'm happy for you. As for your text, either way is good. But going out would mean she wouldn't have to worry about a messy kitchen. So go out then." Kate replied hoping she was helping.
"Yeah that's very true. Okay thanks for the advice. I'm just about to turn into her neighborhood so let me go. I will call you soon." He was off the phone before he pulled into her driveway. She was waiting outside for him. "How's your sister?" Kim asked as he walked towards her. "Good. I got grilled for sure but it was good." He hugged her tight before they walked in the house. The kids had already eaten so they just needed baths and then bed time so Adam ordered them dinner while Kim took the kids up for their bath. She really wanted to spend time with them especially after the morning. While Kim was listening to the kids talking about their days Kim soaked in the happiness her kids were feeling. It was good, honest and pure. "So mommy wants to thank you both for asking Adam to get flowers today. They are so pretty. It was very sweet of you two." She kissed both their foreheads before draining the tub to get the kids out.
She dried them quickly and got them in their jammies before tucking them in. Adam joined them just in time for Kim to read to them. They each got to pick a book which helped each kid feel included and like their opinion mattered. After each book was read Kim kissed her kids heads whispering I love you before leaving the room. Adam followed suit only saying good night to the kids. He wasn't sure more would be appropriate at this time. He knew he was falling in love with the kids. He knew he would protect them with his life but it was all too soon and he really felt like it was a conversation he needed to have with Kim. Would that be what Kim wanted? He wasn't sure yet but he knew he loved this family. His family, one day at least.
"You want to watch tv or go to bed?" Kim asked leaning against Adam in the hallway. "Either is fine. You look pretty tired though. So let's go lay down at least." He led her to her room where they both got ready for bed. As they got comfortable wrapped together Kim started to run her fingers over his chest. Her mind was racing. It did a lot but today was worse. "You want to talk about it?" He asked knowing her mind was all over the place. "Nothing to really talk about. Just replaying things in my mind. Wondering how things got so crazy. How I used my dreams with someone who didn't care about them. I wonder if he ever loved me? Was it all just a show? Was any of it real?" Kim stopped talking but he knew she wasn't finished.
"I felt alive this morning. Like the old me till the mention of the anniversary came up. I dint want it to drag me down but I don't know how to stop it." Tears we're streaming down her face at this point. Adam wiped away her tears with his thumb but allowed her to let it all out. She needed it. And really it was healthy. "Today is just a slight setback. It's okay. And I know I can't answer your questions but I can tell you what we have is real. That I love you. And that I will make all your new dreams come true. None of this is a show. That I can promise you. You, me and the kids are the realist thing I have ever done. I will do anything and everything I can to make you happy forever. Because I want forever with you." He moved her face off his chest so he could kiss her.
The kiss was full of passion, longing and emotion. It was everything a kiss should be. Neither allowed it to go any further. Both knowing Kim wasn't in the right frame of mind. The sadness inside Kim's heart and soul needed time to heal. She needed time to process the thoughts, the questions and the doubts. He would give her all the time in the world to heal before he asked for more again. He only hoped they could move past this together and that she didn't push him away. He knew her pain was real so he just needed to support her and stand tall beside her as they weathered the storm together.