It had been a few weeks since the drama with Kim's family and the drama with Upton. Kim had taken the kids on a very relaxing vacation however they all missed Adam terribly. To the point they cried at night after talking to him. Since they returned the small family hadn't spent much time apart. Both kids had really taken to having a father figure it their lives. The nightmares were almost nonexistent meaning they were all sleeping better. Kim had even started therapy again, this time to help her cope with her family. Things had been calm for the most part. Kim felt like she was really living again. And not surviving in fight mode. She hadn't realized just how lost she had been for so long. It almost felt strange to be so free. Of course they still had bumps but they were easier to manage now. For Adam he was loving the family vibes, loving being a dad even if it wasn't official in any way. He hadn't spoken to his dad since he called asking for money. Last they heard he was doing well in an addiction program trying his best to get better and not lose everything he worked for.
As the couple arrived at the district they were met with the usual looks but neither cared. They were happy with the life they had built. Entering the bullpen Kim noticed a box on her desk right away. She placed her bag on the floor before touching the box. She saw who it was from and pulled her hands back. Almost like it burnt her fingers. "What is it Kim?" Adam asked softly. "Um I think it's the evidence from my case. The case is over, he's been sentenced so they are sending my things back." She just stared at the box not knowing what to do with it. "You don't have to open it." Knowing she knew that but wanted her to hear it. "I think I do. I think i need to open it. Face it. Maybe that's crazy but I feel compelled to open it." Kim grabbed a box cutter and started to open the box. Adam waited close by just in case she fell. He watched as she pulled back the flaps of the box revealing some clothes and other personal items.
She removed each piece one by one. Touching them, smelling them. She shuddered smelling the alcohol on the clothes still. You had forgotten he spilled alcohol on her. Had forgotten the bottle he had when he entered the house. Dropping the shirt and pants she looked further seeing her underwear and bra. She didn't bother pulling those out. They were at work so that wasn't appropriate. Her boots, her favorite boots she had kicked him with trying to get away. "I loved these boots." She whispered softly. "Well they don't look trashed. You could try wearing them again. Maybe the love for them will outweigh the hate for the situation." He say a small smile as she held them. She placed them down before grabbing the bracelet at the bottom. It smelled like the clothes. "I think it can all go in the trash. I want to think about the boots but the rest is trash. I can't get past the smell. I have no idea how I blocked out that bottle. He hit me with it. Not hard enough to smash but it left a bruise. My left arm, I blocked my face." It was almost too faint but Adam heard her clearly.
"Then we will trash it all. We can talk about it more later. Looks like we have a case." He pointed towards their boss stepping out with a file. "Everyone but Lindsey suit up. We have a weird one. Large property over whelming smell of decomp. Let's head over with a search warrant and figure this out." They all suited up and headed towards the address. Kim was quiet but it wasn't concerning. "Yeah this is going to be strange for sure!" She commented as they pulled up. "Oh shit! No way!" Kevin looked in disbelief that were pulling up to a crematory. "Boss this is literally a nightmare. This could be hundreds of bodies from the smell." Kim coughed covering her nose and mouth with a mask and vapor rub. "Told you it was weird. Search the property and mark each body with an evidence tag. CSU will collect samples for the lab. Ruzek, you and I are headed to talk to the owners. Everyone move out." They walked closer Kim noticing something right away. "Hey boss! The chimney has a birds nest at the top. No way it would be there if the fires had been burning. I doubt they have been actually cremating people." She shook her head as she pointed towards the nest.
"Good catch. Everyone keep me posted." Voight headed inside with Adam as the rest walked towards the land behind the crematory. "You seen anything like this before?" Jay asked as they walked. "Nope but I have heard of cases but I have never dealt with it. How about you?" She asked dropping down a few evidence markers. "Yeah over seas in the military. Mass killings but this is another level of cruel." The team kept walking tagging bodies as they went. Many different stages of decomposition in front of them. They heard someone throwing up but neither moved to see who it was. "Light weight!" Kim laughed continuing the search for bodies. "Yup probably Upton. We need to get this finished before we throw up!" Jay gave her a very knowing look. They walked a few more feet through some trees before Kim slid a bit catching herself on a tree.
"You alright?" Jay asked trying to get closer but be careful of his surroundings. "Yeah but my boots are evidence now. I guess I should be thankful I got my old pair back this morning." Kim pointed towards what she stepped in. "Nasty! You want some help?" He offered not sure how exactly to help her though. "Yup get a tech over here to take photos that they are my boots and then help we out of them so I can head back to the car. Can't process evidence in socks." She sighed heavily. "Be right back. Don't move." Jay noticed Voight and Ruzek walking towards him. "Ruze you got any extra shoes for Kim? Hers are now evidence." Jay laughed seeing Adam's face. "Yeah I got her riding boots. It's better than nothing I guess." He headed towards the car shaking his head. He had no idea how she managed this but it seemed she was unhurt.
When he returned he found them right away. Kim holding onto a tree, her boots covered in decomp and a trail of body sludge that she slid through. He understood now. The whole field looked like a war zone and you could only miss so much. Luckily she didn't fall. He moved around them to pick her up leaving the boots behind and brought her to a safe place to put her other boots on. "You good?" He asked seeing her shaking a bit. "Yeah just thrilled I didn't fall in it. That would have been worse. I more feel terrible that I desecrated the remains. I know it was intentional but I still feel bad." She shrugged a bit. "I get it but really it couldn't be helped with how this one looks. Let's just figure this out so we can head home." He hugged her briefly before they continued the search. As they made their way to the back of the field they were up to almost 300 bodies. It would take months to process each one to figure out who they were but the bigger concern was why? Why leave them out here and not just cremate them. It was horrible to think about.
"So the owner is lying through his teeth. We know. Right now he's being held for improper disposal of human remains. We need to build a fraud case against him. It's obvious he's taking the money and not cremating the bodies. And not giving the families their rightful remains. Let's head back and get to work." Voight was sickened by what they saw here and he wanted justice for all of these families. The teams all headed back to the district happy to be away from that place. The smell and sights were unbearable. "How you holding up Kim?" Adam asked knowing the scene was tough and he only saw part of it. "Fine. Happy to be out of there but good. Just want to figure this out to give the families real closure. I wonder if anyone put in complaints about them with the better business bureau? Or maybe online? We need to look into it." Kim's idea came out of no where but decided to roll with it.
"Okay I will look online you look at the other. Divide and conquer!" Adam turned to the computer to start looking into Kim's hunch. "Yeah let's get this done." Kim got to work right away. The entire team was working hard to figure out what was happening. It definitely seemed the financial angle was the real ticket but it also seemed the owners got overwhelmed with COVID and just stopped burning bodies. Only trashing them because it was less work. It was disgraceful but they were going away for a long time. Even with the remains still needing to be processed properly it gave the team great joy knowing people would get their loved ones remains returned. As the team left Kim sat with the box of belongings from the morning. She took one last look before throwing the items away. She had interest in keeping them. The smell alone could be washed away but the memories wouldn't. She kept the boots since she lost one that morning but felt stronger the more distance she put between her and the past.
Adam didn't force her to talk about it. He knew already. He was proud though. Confronting the past and deciding to leave behind. It was brave that's for sure. They were driving home enjoying the silence after a terrible day when Kim's phone rang. She noticed it was her realtor, he never called. The house was empty so he could show it whenever, she wasn't informed about it. That worked for her. "Hey Nick what's going on?" Kim answered hoping for good news. "Well hello. So I know I'm on speaker phone but is this a good time to talk?" He asked knowing she was a cop and speaker phone was used often at work and at home. "Yeah it's fine. I'm driving home from work. So what's going on with the house?" She was eager to hear why he called. "Well you driving probably isn't the best time to tell you this but you have an offer and it's full price, 45 day close. I assume you want to sign yes?" He asked hearing multiple gasps. "Absolutely! I'm so excited! This is literally the last tie to him and that life. Yes please let's do this. How much do I have after everything is said and done?" She asked curious what she had to work with. She probably shouldn't have asked since Adam was in the car but she was too excited.
"Okay so I knew you would ask that so after all is said and done you walk away with 650,000 to reinvest in a new home. Now you have to do that in 6 months or you have to pay taxes on that money. Are you okay with all that?" He had heard Kim squeal but he still needed a verbal response. "Yes absolutely. Send me the paperwork and I will sign it tonight. Thank you so much for everything! I truly appreciate it!" Kim hung up shortly after but her smile was wide, her eyes beaming and she was glowing with happiness. "Did you really just sell your house?" Adam asked smiling. "Well technically yes, in 45 days. But yes thank god! And full price! Couldn't get much better!" Kim giggled happily. "Kim I'm so happy for you! And with your profit you can get a nice sized house for you and the kids." He squeezed her knee. "Well I do want your input. We are moving towards that aren't we?" Kim looked over shyly. "We definitely are but I'm not pushing you. And I didn't want to assume you would include me in this decision. But I'm happy to help you and the kids anytime you want." He saw her smiling and blushing.
"Well since we are on the same page, how about I tell you what I'm looking for in a house and you tell me if that's something you are interested in. Does that work?" She asked him. "Okay I like where this is going." He smirked smugly. "Okay so 5 bedrooms, 3 1/2 bathrooms, a fireplace, a large yard, a decent sized deck, possibly a three season room, basement, 2 car garage." Kim looked off wistfully. "Well I like the sound of all that. I'm kind of surprised you didn't mention a large kitchen. You know you need it." He smiled knowing her so well. "Oh yeah that's on the list. Plus a safe neighborhood, good school district, oh and no renovations. I don't have the time or energy to do it again." Kim shrugged knowing it would be impossible with two kids. "That's fine. That all sounds amazing. If I had a list it would match that. Maybe not as large but you have two kids so it makes sense. And since I would love the kids to be mine, 5 bedrooms sounds perfect. When you are ready, I'm ready." He grabbed her hand pulling her closer to him forcing her to look at him. "I love you Kim!" He whispered looking deep into her eyes. "I love you too!" Kim pecked his lips before they continued their ride.
They arrived at Kim's home ready to spend all night with her children. Both children were thrilled to see both Kim and Adam at home. While Mia had admitted she had less nightmares when Adam was there Milo hadn't said anything. But he seemed to be opening up more, blossoming under Adam's attention. It was clear he craved having a father figure. After dinner the small family headed outside to play in the yard and burn off the excess energy from the day. The laughter was infectious and Kim was thrilled hearing it. The kids never laughed like this in New York. They weren't this happy in New York. It reinforced that she had made the right decision to move her family here. The kids crashed hard, crying when they were taken to bed. As soon as they hit the pillows they were out cold. Both adults sighing in relief when the kids were finally asleep.
"Was this too much tonight?" Kim asked as they crashed on the deck chairs. "Absolutely not. Was it loud? Yes. Was it slightly frustrating? Sure. But it's only because I didn't know how help them. I didn't know how to make it better. But the love I feel for you and the kids overshadows all that. I look forward to coming here, hearing the kids excited to see me and you. It fixes all the crap we see every day. I love seeing how they both snuggle up with me when they are tired. Or when they are waking up from a nap. My heart literally melts when their little hands bunch my shirt in their grip. When they place their heads on my shoulders or better when they bury their little faces in my neck. I really do want this Kim. Nothing will cause me to run, I promise." He was caught off guard when she launched herself into his arms. Tears of joy streaming down her face. "I really do want this too. I know we will get there. I'm nervous and scared but happy and excited too. It's crazy thinking about how much has changed. I knew things were bad before but I never realized just how bad it was. I think I was just trying to fix him, fix it. Maybe I didn't want a broken family. But really that would have been better to begin with. All questions I can't answer but I promise you I'm going to get help. I'm going to get a therapist so I can work through these issues so I can be the best partner to you and the best version of myself for me and my kids." He crashed his lips into hers hearing those words. The words that let him know they would get there. Time, patience and healing would get them there.
"This morning you mentioned something you had blocked about your attack. Is there more that you remember after seeing those items?" He hated to break the happy moment but it plagued him all day. "Um I don't know really. It's weird. Like I didn't remember being hit with the bottle till I smelled the clothes. Like it was a trigger. Oddly enough I don't have flashbacks to that night, I don't fear you drinking at Mollys. It's been a year and I've handled it well. I'm not sure I need to try to remember those blocked moments. Even after seeing those things, my things, I didn't feel much. More numb than anything." She tried to explain knowing it probably made no sense or it was concerning but she was good. "I'm happy to hear that but just know that if you have a nightmare tonight I will not leave your side. I don't care how hard you push, kick, hit, I not leaving your side. I might put you in the shower fully dressed to wake you but I'm not leaving you. This is how it works going forward. This is how we get there, that next step together." He saw the tears in her eyes once more. He just wiped her tears away before kissing her again.
When she pulled away he saw this almost devilish look in her eyes. "The back yard is pretty secluded and the bedrooms do face the front." She saw his eyes widen but the look of excitement takes over quickly. "You want to have sex under the stars?" He asked trying to make sure they were on the same page. "No. I want you to make love to me under the stars. I want to feel your love under the stars." She looked down for a moment almost embarrassed but he let her continue when she was ready. "Stuff like that was considered freaky and perverted. To me it seemed romantic and beautiful. Am I wrong?" She asked shyly looking down at their laps. It dawned on him that while he knew their sex life at been boring before she got pregnant it was also drilled into her that being boring was the only acceptable way. "You are not wrong at all. Maybe it could be freaky if we tired each other to the trees." He paused seeing her laugh. "But I agree with you. It can be beautiful and romantic. A couple of blankets, pillows, some wine under the stars could be very beautiful. So let me show you. Let's check on the kids and gather things we need then outside so I can show you the beauty in it." He helped her up and led her inside.
His heart broke for her but he was determined like always to mend that poor broken heart. "Hey when this is done we are having a long conversation about what you want to try. Watching you try to explain that you were afraid to ask and try this was heartbreaking. You should never have to be uncomfortable asking for things sexually. It should be open, honest and easy. I will never look at you any different, unless you want some stranger in our bed. Otherwise I'm open to anything. Just know that." He watched her gulp but nodded before walking towards the kids. If he didn't already hate Paul he did now. Totally asshole for breaking her down this way. Totally shithead for making her feel like she couldn't have pleasure how she wants it. He would fix that but he knew it would take time. But for her he had all the time in the world. He saw her returning with blankets and pillows. He headed to the kitchen to get them some wine before meeting her outside. He could see she was nervous but the excitement was brewing beneath the surface. "It's going to be great. It's no different than the bedroom just outside." He watched her nod and take the wine from his hand. She took a few sips before placing the glass down gently. He followed suit but decided to take the lead to show her just how beautiful her idea truly was.
He slowly removed her shirt before removing her shorts. She had already kicked off her shoes so she was left in her bra and panties. He removed his own clothes before helping her between the blankets. Once he was sure she was comfortable he leaned into kiss her softly and slowly. Letting the tension build as his fingers roamed her body. "Remember you are allowed to be vocal and saw you are enjoying this. Forget everything he ever told you. I know for sure you are holding back right now. Please let yourself feel." She nodded as he continued his mission of loving her body properly. He felt her move her neck allowing him better access. He could hear soft moans as his fingers played with her breast. As his mouth got closer to removed the bra and dove right in giving her what she wanted and needed. He would gladly spend the rest of his life kissing, sucking, nipping, biting these breasts to make up for all the lost pleasure from before they found each other.
Her fingers found the back of his head, massaging the scalp lightly. Her moans slightly louder but still afraid to cause attention. She would be extremely embarrassed if someone caught them. After biting the erect nipple Adam moved to the underside of her breast sucking hard leaving a hickey before he moved on. "A reminder of tonight that I'm not sure you will need but I hope when you see it every day it gets you excited and wet." He felt her tense as he worked her other breast with the same passion. He could feel her muscles clenching under him, he was surprised but also excited and happy. "Darling I know you are close. Right?" He wanted to double check but his mind and her body told him yes. She nodded biting her lip. He pulled her lip from her teeth not wanting her to bleed. "I got you." His fingers from her favorite place. Massaging her and his mouth worked her breast once more. Both her favorite pleasure points. She came hard seconds later holding back her moan but not how her body reacted. She spasmed hard, bucked wildly and trembled long after the orgasm subsided.
Her body was worked throughly but he wasn't done with her. The panties removed, now in desperate need of washing, right before be moved over top her. Thrusting inside filling her to the brim. Her eyes clenched shut, her mouth open, her back arching. He could have been smug and he really wanted to but he didn't. He just pushed her back down before thrusting slowly. "Please open your eyes. I want to see the emotions in your eyes." He watched her struggle to open them but she did. Each stroke while gently poured every ounce of emotion he was feeling into it. It was incredibly intimate but also sexy. She had never felt such love before. She was actually surprised as her body to orgasm once more. While not as hard as before it was still just as powerful. It was odd to her but she enjoyed every minute of it. He waited till her body was almost relaxed before he finished inside her, sputtering waves of semen released into her waiting body. His head thrown back showing just how amazing he felt. But what pleased him most was his release triggered her again. This time it was so unexpected she couldn't hold back the moan. Her eyes wide with surprise.
As the couple came down from their highs wrapped together under the blanket they let their fingers roam. They tried to catch their breath but it seemed to longer this time. Kim nuzzled under his chin kissing his neck. He could tell she was almost embarrassed by what happened. "Don't you dare be embarrassed darling! That was beyond beautiful. And what I'm quite sure was your first double orgasm. But it won't be your last. I can promise you that." He leaned back long enough to capture her lips again. "I'm afraid to get caught. What would people think?" She whispered softly. "First most people wouldn't even care. And those that do are no better than your ex. We are two consenting adults who enjoy each other's company and bodies. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Now maybe if we were in public it would be different but this right here is nothing to be worried about. Now tell me what else do you want to try?" He knew there had to be more and he was happy to explore it with her.
"I don't know. I think I stopped thinking about it because I wasn't allowed to really. Even when I was pregnant and the hormones were crazy I didn't need to fantasize because the vibrator barely had to do anything. I always came so quickly because they were in over drive." Kim got quiet again. "Some of the things I saw in New York were so insane to me but it worked for those people till it didn't you know. Maybe it's fine line, maybe it's not. I'm just not sure." She was quiet once more. He could see her mind working. "You know I grew up in a pretty repressed house. Sex was not discussed ever. They never had the sex talk with me. My mother was, is so repressed about that stuff. Like she never even used tampons because that was wrong. How do you have a healthy life let alone a healthy sex life if you don't talk about it. But yet I can't. I can talk all day about it at work but in my own home I can't. And I really hate it. I just want to feel free to do things I never have before without fear of the name calling. Or the shame." Her face pressed against his chest now.
"Well I'm not sure how to respond other than we try to keep the lines of communication open about these things. If you want something you aren't getting, tell me. If want to try something new, tell me. Your experience is just as important as mine. Let me finish by saying it also doesn't surprise me that your parents didn't talk about it. I've met them both briefly and that just doesn't surprise me at all. So how about we get dressed a bit and head to your room. We can talk more or we can continue this." Kissing her letting her know exactly what the options were. "It's still early. Maybe both." Kim shrugged grabbing her clothes before they headed inside again. They checked in on the kids again before heading into the bedroom. Kim sat on the bed looking towards Adam nervously. "Ask away Kim. I can see you want to ask something." He sat next to her holding her hands.
"What do you want that you haven't done? Or needs that aren't being met?" She asked wondering if she was enough for him. "My needs are being met. As long as I'm with you my needs are being met. Are there things I would like to try sure. But no rush. When you feel comfortable we can try them. But I will never force you to do anything that's uncomfortable. I promise I'm good with where we are at." He tried to assure her. "Like what? Tell me please?" Kim asked urging him to open up. "You really want to know?" He questioned. "Yes." She looked down almost afraid to hear his answer. "Okay so first let me just say never feel obligated to do any of these things. They are just thoughts. Sex in a pool, sex in the shower, sex in the tub, up against a wall. There are positions I enjoy that I would like to try with you. But again I will never force you. I would love to cuff you to our bed or let you cuff me. I would love to lick your body clean of whipped cream. Anything sound like something you would like?" He wasn't embarrassed but filled with concern that she would never try any of them.
"Yeah I think we could work with some of that. Might have to be date nights and not here. I would hate to have the kids walk in one any of that!" Kim shuddered thinking about it. "Hey I agree but how about we take a bath together. Just relax together? See where it goes?" He offered hoping she would be okay with that. "Sure sounds great." They headed to the bathroom filling the tub with very warm water to relax in. Adam settled in first helping Kim in afterwards. She rested against his chest feeling his arms wrap around her holding her tight. They both relaxed in the tub for a bit before Adam spoke again. "The insecurity you showed tonight is heart breaking. And I feel like it only happened after you saw things from the past. Am I right?" He asked softly. "Yeah. I literally feel like I'm back to square one. The smell of those clothes brought me back to that night. I still don't understand why? Am I really that unlovable? Am I really that easy to throw away like I'm trash? I feel like he threw me away. Why?" She cried as the pain and memories from that night flooded back.
"Oh darling! I have no idea why he didn't love you anymore. I can't even imagine but I know I love you more than anything. Everything about you makes you more lovable. Your heart, soul, your confidence, your smile, your laughter, momma mode. Everything about you is amazing. If he did throw you away I can't answer for that but I will never throw you away. Or let you get away. I'm in this for the long haul I promise you. Let me show you, please." He asked feeling her nod. "Just relax and enjoy the pleasure I'm giving you." He whispered as his fingers went lower. His fingers played with her core, toying with her. He was listening to her moans. He sunk a finger inside her body feeling her buck her hips. "Relax a bit." He continued to thrust his finger in and out while massaging her breast with his other hand. He loved this broken woman in his arms and would do anything for her and her children. He needed to make her strong again.
"Let it go darling!" His words were her undoing. Moaning his name as she came. As he removed his finger she turned around his arms smashing her lips against his. "Thank you for showing me love. For accepting me even when I feel broken. I love you." She looked into his eyes. "I love you too." He grabbed her hips holding her close as they made out in the tub water lapping around them. "I will ride you right here. Taking that off your list." She never waited for a reply. She sat up adjusting him before sinking down on him, taking him inside fully. "Thank you for being open to this but also thank you for allowing me to suck on your chest while riding me. Such a huge turn on." Her hands pulling his head towards her chest. "Enjoy your turn baby!" Kim worked him hard bringing him to his climax quickly allowing herself to finish after him.
"I love you! Let's gets out and head to bed. You need your rest now. Your mind and body are overworked today. You need to recover darling. But remember you are not broken, today is a momentary slip up in your confidence. You are amazing darling!" He helped her up before getting out himself. He dried her off before drying himself. He settled them in to bed, wrapping his arms around her. He kept her safe and warm as they drifted off to sleep. The day had been filled with ups and downs but also filled with beautiful moments. The more insight he got into her marriage the more he hated her ex. He wanted to fix her, fix this family and make them his for good. The sound of his family really sounded perfect. He just had to wait till she was ready and he would wait forever. She was worth it, they were worth it.