Chapter 43: Cold and Tension
The cold was proving to be a problem. It wasn't directly affecting the clan, but it brought with it a myriad of problems. As I've said before, most of the useful herbs were killed by the sudden freeze making us rely on a stockpile we'd not filled to capacity. I could tell Yellowfang was unhappy with our supplies. While things like marigold and poppy seeds were in short supply, there was a far more important seasonal herb we were low on. Amusingly enough, it was the one I hated the most. It was catmint.
While disease wasn't totally rampant yet, sniffles and sneezes could be heard throughout the camp. It was an inevitability that the cold would bring in disease, but I held a faint hatred that Graystripe was the one who brought this upon our camp. To be fair, it wasn't totally his fault. Whitestorm and several elders also caught the sniffles around that time, but Graystripe hadn't been resting to let his illness die down, thus acting as a transmitter of the disease. Again, this fell back to Graystripe's lack of discipline. He'd never been properly punished or seen his actions have repercussions. Maybe it was time I brought Lionheart in on the issue.
After watching Graystripe slink away while sick for the umpteenth time, I found Lionheart by the elders den. Apparently, the cold did no favors for Lionheart's old leg wound. Lionheart was by no means old, but that wound had severed several muscles. Muscles don't grow back, and we don't have the kind of technology to stick the muscles back together. That would forever hamper him. Regardless, he was still well respected and plenty powerful.
"Lionheart. I've been meaning to talk to you." I mewed.
"Anything my friend. You know, I've been thinking on what you told me so long ago, the whys. I think I've finally come up with my own answers." He replied.
"Oh?" I asked, amused.
"Yes. I know why 'I' follow the code. It's not just about the code. It's about setting an example. I want to be a role model for our cats to look up to. I think I've always known that. It's just so strange to put it into words, but I think it has helped me. I no longer feel the need to be deputy. I've interacted with the kits more, and I've been making sure apprentices and warriors can come to me for advice whenever. That question really opened my eyes. I've even asked some of our fellow warriors that same question, but it just doesn't have the same impact. Do you have any clue why?" He mewed.
There was an honest answer. "It's mostly because I'm me. Let me explain. Almost every cat in the clan knows I'm a cat out for himself, but I still work to benefit the clan. They don't know why. When I ask them why, they suddenly begin thinking about their whys instead of the code because I am a cat who obviously does not respect the code, and yet I follow it. When you ask it, you come from the position of a paragon. To them, you follow the code because it is the right thing to do. It is what you've always done. It is that simple to them. Thus, their answer is the automatic because the code says so. It doesn't hurt to ask them the question, but sometimes who asks the question matters more than the question itself."
"That's a shame. I wish they'd take the question seriously. Only Whitestorm took it seriously from me, and that's only because I explained my answer. Anyways, what brought you over here? I can tell it wasn't about the whys." He responded.
"Honestly, it's about Graystripe. He's sneaking out of camp to who knows where. Normally I wouldn't care, but because he is sick, he's keeping himself sick and getting others sick. Can you remind him to let himself heal? It isn't about him. What he's doing is endangering others." I mewed.
Lionheart got a worried look on his face. "Oh dear. I'm sorry. I never thought he'd do something like that. I'll talk to him, but I don't know how much my words will be worth. He's a full grown warrior, so officially I have no authority over him. Hopefully he still respects me as a mentor." Lionheart fussed.
I left Lionheart to deal with that. I had another duty, given to me by Yellowfang. I still have my sharp hatred of all things mint, but that was what made me perfect for finding it. I had a sensitivity to it. Thus, I was put on almost permanent catmint hunting duty.
If memory served me correctly, the Twoleg Place border had some places to grab the plant. Humans tended to think the plant looked pretty, and cat owners commonly bought it for their cats, so it was somewhat common. The only limiting factor was the cold snap itself. The plant wasn't going to replenish in the cold. What was found would be all we'd get this season.
While following the border, scenting for catmint, I caught another scent, one I hadn't expected to find here. I smelled Fireheart. It was recent too. I decided to forgo Yellowfang's mission for now to investigate the peculiarity. Then I found him.
Fireheart was chatting with a brown tabby molly. The molly was definitely a kittypet given the pink collar. Why Fireheart seemed interested in her was beyond me, but I wasn't the type to just let secrets lie. Even if Fireheart was my best friend, I'm not the type to pass up a piece of juicy blackmail.
"Fireheart. Who is this?" I queried aloofly.
Fireheart's fur actually bristled in shock. He knew exactly the type of cat I was and the tone I was using. He knew there was no way out of this.
"Smudgefoot! What are you doing out here?" He deflected.
"Oh, you know, looking for catmint. Only, I happened to stumble upon another familiar scent, yours. So, are you going to tell me who this is?" I aggressively teased.
Fireheart wilted, knowing I wasn't going to drop the topic. "This… is my sister, Princess. I've been visiting her for the last couple days."
Now that I got a closer look at Princess, I could see she was the beginner stages of pregnancy. The scent told it all.
"I hope they aren't your kits." I implied.
"No! Gross! No! I wouldn't do that to my sister. I've just been visiting her about my stress. Graystripe has been distant from me, and every other cat seems to have some family to support them. I needed someone to vent to." Fireheart confessed.
"I wouldn't know. I have no family." I responded.
I swear I could hear a pin drop. There was utter silence. Fireheart had honestly forgotten that we were in the same boat. I was honestly a bit upset by that, but I'd never be angry at him.
"Smudgefoot. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up. I just…" He rambled.
I shushed him with my tail. "Fireheart. I'm not offended. I honestly don't mind that you're visiting your sister. What I do mind is that you forgot about me. I'm right here. I don't mind if you lean on me when times are tough. It's why I chose to follow you out here. Don't be afraid to talk to me." I reassured.
I let Fireheart collapse against me. He apparently was more stressed than I thought. I did see Princess briefly consider speaking, but ultimately, she returned inside her home to let us have our moment. Fireheart needed his rock, and I would be as steady as they come. I would not let my own emotions be shaken when Fireheart needed me most.