Chapter 22 – Let's Zap All The Way Tonight

In which Jaune Arc doles out electrifying pain and pleasure to two smokin' hot women.

Perry, who had remained far more silent that any grave in the world after ejecting his stomach contents, had patted the happy couple on the back when it was clear that neither was going to violently explode at the other anymore. Jaune and Nora both apologized for putting him in the middle of their arguments so frequently, but he assured them it was fine (even though Jaune knew it had been everything but fine for him).

"I'm just glad we can start being normal again. I didn't want to say anything, but the constant arguing really has made our team fall behind. We haven't trained together in over a week."

"Sorry, Perry. If it's any consolation, I was also kind of holding us off on training until I could buy some new weapons," Jaune explained. "Now that I'm armed and dangerous, the Junipers can resume our part in the long legacy of Beacon teams massacring Grimm in the forests around Beacon."

"Heck yeah!" cheered Nora. "I didn't even notice it until you mentioned it, Perry, but my hammer has been exceptionally dirty recently. Not enough beasties mushed by the tip, I think."

"Wouldn't killing Grimm dirty your hammer?" asked Jaune.

"Nah, it's actually the opposite. You see, if I kill Grimm, all the dirt, grime, and soot gets wiped off onto them, and any Grimmy muck they spill evaporates when I'm done. If I don't, a thick layer of junk builds up on it. The usual stuff – blood, sweat, and tears from Miss Goodwitch's class, and some of Ruby's hog wash from when she asks to borrow Magnhild as a brush to wash her hogs."

"My gloves never have that problem," said Perry. "I wear 'em into the showers after class. They're water resistant, so it's not a problem."

"Yang's mom stole my sword," said Jaune. "I'm still waiting to get it back."

"So what're your new weapons?" asked Nora. "Are they also swords? Ooh ooh, hammers?"

Jaune shook his head. "I wanted to expand my arsenal, so I branched out and got a bunch of different things. Two Dust-enhanced dirks, a reloadable net gun, all sorts of stuff."

He'd had to spend the money that he'd been planning to spend on bribing a hunter for aura-unlocking. It wasn't pleasant (he'd still dreamed that he'd somehow find a way to make it work), but Jaune knew logically that aura wasn't happening whereas weapons were.

He'd started to gradually accept the idea that he might not be able to unlock his aura, period. It seemed impossible to be a huntsman without it, but here he was, still alive and standing atop a mountain of achievements without a single aura (aurum?) to his name. He'd still happily pounce on any opportunities as they came, but going out and actively seeking it had twice thrown him in Roman Torchwick's way, and that little offhanded comment a defeated Roman made about stronger forces on the horizon wasn't forgotten. Jaune knew that by interfering with the White Fang and Torchwick so much, he must've attracted some attention already. If he stayed safe in Beacon for a while, perhaps that attention might die down before he died down.

The trio reached the dance floor just in time for Jaune to catch the tail end of a conversation that a certain couple was having as they concluded their dance.

"Wow, Ren. Thank you for sharing all of Jaune's secrets with me."

"No problem, Velvet. I hope your next article goes well."

Jaune pulled out his scroll. "Amber."

"Yeah?"

"I need you to call in another airstrike with my rocket locker, like we did to stop Roman."

"It's still damaged."

Jaune leaned over to Perry. "Hey, buddy. Quick question – what's your locker combo? Asking for a friend."

"Jaune, I could hear you. I ain't gonna throw away my perfectly working locker just so you can airstrike the paparazzi."

"Nora?"

Nora shook her head. "I'm not falling for that one. Ren may be dating other women, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I'm with you 'till the end, Jaune. Nice try, though, testing to see if I was bitter over it like that."

"Amber, this scroll was made by Samsung. See if you can get it to overheat and explode when I throw you at them. Your sacrifice won't ever be forgotten."

"Jaune, I know that one's your romantic rival and one's your archenemy, but you can't kill them."

"You're right. Too many witnesses. I'll have to wait until they're all alone, and then–"

"Just shut up and enjoy your date, Jaune."

Jaune imagined from her tone that Amber would be rolling her eyes, if she had any. He pocketed her and offered a hand to Nora.

"Shall we dance?"

"Let's."

Jaune stuck with Nora for pretty much the entire night, and they had a wonderful time. Between accepting her challenge to see which of them could balance the most full cup of punch on their forehead, to re-enacting the really silly torture dance from that Mistrilian Cartoon, JimJim's Bonkers Adventure, to rooting for Nora as she arm wrestled Yang (and won Jaune a pretty lien chip from Neptune, who'd placed a bet on his blonde date) to simply catching up about the small things that had happened to one another and they'd missed due to the gap that their breakup had caused, Jaune was more sure than ever that he'd made the right choice. He and his girlfriend fit together like a bull Faunus and a restraining order.

He wasn't the only one enjoying himself. Ren seemed to have matured quite a bit since his last tantrum, so Team Juniper was back and better then ever. The four of them even got together at one point to bust a sick, sick move. Their sweet style broke world records and changed lives, and they basked in the adulation of their awe-struck peers. One of the visiting Professors from Mistral actually asked for Perry's number after the whole routine.

The fact that Ren and Velvet were now apparently together (apparently Ren was an avid nature photographer, and Velvet enjoyed meditative yoga – who knew they had so much in common?) did bother Jaune slightly, but only because he feared that this was the beginning of some sort of evil team up rather than any qualms about their togetherness itself. Now that they were no longer quasi-rivals, Ren was once more Jaune's dear friend and trusted teammate, and Jaune wished him the best of luck in his new relationship (especially since the closer he got to his rabbit girlfriend, the easier it would be for Nora to move on).

Team RWBY also seemed to be in a good place, or rather in a better place. They hadn't been having any troubles, but it seemed as though Ruby and Weiss announcing their relationship had been something of a big deal to the other two members of the team, both of whom responded positively. Yang had patted Jaune on the shoulder and offered her condolences that he wasn't going to get with his 'dream girl,' and Jaune had spent the next five minutes desperately trying to convince Nora that he wasn't carrying a torch for Ruby only to realize that she was yanking his chain.

Alas, romance was not in the cards for everyone. Apparently, Yang and Neptune got along fine as friends, but neither really felt anything more than that. The two had parted on good terms and sought companionship elsewhere – Neptune in the arms of a Vacuoan huntress who'd been making googly eyes at him all night from across the room, and Yang with Perry.

"Y-You want to dance? With me?" Perry had actually looked behind him to make sure Yang wasn't asking someone else.

"Dang straight! Neptune was a nice bit of eye candy, but I think I want to hang around with someone mature and all that. Plus, you're looking all lonely over here by yourself. I figure we can whittle the night away together, rather than go solo."

The elder Faunus backed off with raised hands. "I…I'm thirty-five. I'm legally obligated to say no, lest I end up on some kinda list."

"Relax, pops," Yang punched his arm. "I'm not asking you out, just seeing if you want to dance. I could ask Ironwood or Port, just to establish a precedent that it's socially acceptable, if that would make you feel better."

Perry had eventually relented and briefly danced with Yang. He acted quite awkward around her, unsure of what he was supposed to be doing for fear of offending her, and Yang seemed to lap that nervousness up. Jaune figured that the fun-loving prankster side of her was going to have a wonderful time messing with Perry all night.

"Should we try and bail him out?" he asked Nora.

"They're fine. You worry too much."

"I just don't trust that Xiao-Long. Perry deserves a nice girl, and she's only interested int playing around with him because she wants someone to amuse her."

"Perry's a big boy, Jaune. He can turn her down if he wants to."

That wasn't enough for Jaune. "I'm gonna go over and have a chat with her. I'm his partner, and it's my duty to–"

Jaune was about to finish the thought when he realized that Nora was recording him on her scroll.

"N-Nora? What're you doing?"

"It's sooooo cute!" she called from behind the device. "You're being overprotective of your partner! Just listen to yourself, taking about him like he's your big, ol' Faunus son! Oh, I just have to record this."

"H-Hey, I'm just trying to look out for my pal, okay? It's a bro code thing – we look out for one another."

Nora, still filming, pointed a waggly finger at Jaune. "You love him!"

"He's always had my back, so I ought to have his in his time of need."

Nora squished her lips together and made a silly face. In her best impersonation of what Jaune assumed to be his voice, she huffed and said, "Oh no no no siree, that Xiao-Long girl isn't right for my darling boy Perry! I had better go give her mother a stern talking to about her behavior!"

"Nora, if I could find Yang's mom, my primary focus would be on getting my sword taken care of, not fussing over Yang's behav– no, not like that! I didn't mean it like that, Nora! I was talking about my actual sword, Crocea Mors!"

"Oh, thank the Brothers I was recording! I got that on camera."

"Well, if you're going to stand there and make fun of me, I'm going outside," he pouted.

"Jauneeeeee, we need a record for posterity. When you're the king or liege lord or supreme chancellor of Vale or whatever grand destiny Velvet has planned for you, the commonfolk will want something to remember what you were like when you walked among them. Jaune, don't go."

"I actually do need to get some air," Jaune said, continuing to step away. "It's getting too hot in here, and I was hoping to quickly hit the restrooms. I'll be back in a few, if that's okay."

"Toodles!" Nora waved at him, then ran over to Perry. "Hey, you guys! Come look at this video I took of Jaune saying he wants to bang Yang and her mom in a double reverse yangbang!"

Jaune quickly made his way out of the ballroom before Yang could light up fiery red over the perceived slight against her mother's honor. There was a bathroom inside the auditorium, but the air in that room had to be 100 degrees from all the gyrating, sweaty teens, and tonight's breeze was cooler than Mantle.

This was nice. This whole night, this whole feeling – just having his team together, not quarrelling over Perry's reluctance about coming to Beacon or Jaune being bullied by Cardin or hashing out Ren and Nora's 'not-together-togetherness.' This wasn't the first time that they had all just shared a relaxing moment, but it felt more meaningful now that they had all overcome some of their issues together. It was like the mutual shared experience of working through that stuff as a team had turned Team Juniper from a group of four into a team of four.

I really hope Nora and I work out, he thought. His initial feeling that the two of them had formed a connection was now reinforced by the wonderful fun they had shared together.

Washing his hands, Jaune stepped out of the bathroom, discarding a paper towel he'd used to wipe the dancing sweat off his brow.

BZZZT! BZZZT! BZZZT! BZZZT! BZZZT! BZZZT!

Unexpectedly, his scroll began to vibrate in his breast pocket. That was actually kind of weird – Amber usually just called him when she wanted something…which meant she was specifically choosing to be quiet this time.

He brought her to his ear and swiped up, choosing to remain silent rather than greet her.

"Jaune. Slowly look to your right, then up at 30 degrees."

Jaune did so.

"I…I see her."

The woman was oddly dressed, as though she were trying to go to some sexy costume party rather than a school dance. Also, she was jumping from rooftop to rooftop for some reason, rather than just walking on the ground like a normal person. And on top of all that, she was wearing a mask that covered her eyes (though there was no way Jaune would have been able to make out her face from here. Amber probably could, with her photographic zoom.

"That's…queer," Jaune whispered. "You know her or something?"

"That's the woman who killed me."

Everything in the world suddenly stopped.

That's…? She's the one? The fire huntress that…

Dread fell over Jaune like a thick blanket. He'd previously assumed that the Qrow fellow Amber had mentioned who'd swooped in at the last minute had tidied up the whole mess and avenged Amber or at least arrested the enemy, but if she was out and about in Beacon itself, that meant no such justice had been enacted.

And that's another problem – how did she get into Beacon? The campus is so densely surrounded by Grimm infested forests that no one could get here without having their own private airship or taking one of the –

"…student ones," Jaune mumbled under his breath.

"She must be a student or a transfer," confirmed Amber. "I'd wager transfer, since they don't have nearly as many background checks at Vacuo and Mistral compared to Beacon. I don't have Ozpin or Ironwood's scroll number, so – Jaune, she's getting away! You have to chase after her!"

The woman had hopped over the rooftop on which Jaune had initially spotted her and was now only visible when she leapt into the air. Jaune, heeding Amber's guidance, broke into a run to chase after her, but halted before he made it ten meters.

"A-Amber–"

"Jaune, please keep running."

"But what–"

"You can't lose her!"

Jaune steadied his breathing and chased after the masked infiltrator.

Amber explained her reasoning as he did so. "If she's loose on the school campus, who knows what kind of damage she could do to the school? How many people she could kill? She killed me, which means she's not some chump like Torchwick. She's a pro."

"Then I should go back to get someone and–"

"If you lose sight of her, she'll get away. I've called Perry and told him to get Ozpin or Ironwood. You don't need to engage her, just follow her so that they can follow you and track her down. Recon is all I'm asking Jaune."

Jaune didn't like the idea one bit, but he did as his friend asked. If this woman had been so dangerous that she could maim Amber and inflict life threatening wounds on her, what would Jaune be able to do when she pulled a blade on him? The extent of his training was at the hands of Amber, and if she at her peak wasn't enough to stop Miss Tall, Dark, and Villainous, how could his crude impersonation of her fighting skills be?

The woman didn't turn around to check behind her at any point, so Jaune went undiscovered as she led him to the CCT. The guards were all clustered together, having some sort of conversation in a circle.

"Amber, the guards are right there. Can I go home now?"

"Those are normal Atlesian soldiers, Jaune, not huntsmen. They don't have aura. This woman…if my body died, and she's the new Fall…those men are already dead."

Jaune pulled back, briefly losing sight of the woman as he cowered behind a building for cover. "I can't do this. I thought you said I wasn't supposed to risking my life anymore!"

"Keep your voice down, Jaune. Perry says that Ozpin is on the way with reinforcements. Jaune, I know I'm asking too much, but–"

"You were the one who told me that I wasn't supposed to play the hero and die like one!"

"Jaune, she's the most powerful person in the world," Amber desperately pleaded. "She's chosen tonight for whatever scheme she's cooked up because everyone's distracted by the festivities. You have to go in there!"

Jaune looked around the corner again, then jumped back in shock. All of the guards were down, blood pooling up around their corpses.

"If she's so powerful, then what can I do?"

Amber was silent for a moment.

"Amber? What exactly are you asking me to do?"

"Jaune, future huntsmen and huntresses from the four academies are all congregated in one ballroom. If she blows it up or starts a fire or does something with her…with h-her…screw it, with her maiden powers, the world will lose almost a full four generations of collective hunter talent. She could bring down all four of the kingdoms in a single night."

"Then I can't stop her."

"…no, you can't. But you can stall her until Ozpin gets there with enough teachers and headmasters to bring her in."

Jaune scoffed. "Yeah. And likely die in the process," he said.

Silence met his joke.

And it was in that moment he realized that he wasn't that far off the mark. In fact, he wasn't off the mark at all. He'd hit it dead center, emphasis on the dead.

"You want me to…?"

"Jaune, right now, she's the most dangerous criminal alive. The most dangerous criminal to have ever lived, if we're being honest. She can't get away. I'm sorry that I have to ask you to do this, but–"

"If she killed those trained guards, what can I even do to hold her back? I still don't have aura!"

"You have a good head on your shoulders, though. Just get her talking, keep her distracted so she can't do whatever it is she came to do."

It was difficult to keep his exasperation contained. "That good head's not going to remain on my shoulders for long."

"Jaune, she has the potential to kill hundreds of people, and when they die, millions if not billions could come next. You're a huntsman, aren't you?"

Jaune scowled at his scroll. "That's a low one."

"I'm so, so sorry. But this is more important than you or me. This goes all the way to the fight for my magical powers."

"The what?!"

"Jaune, there's so much I wish I could tell you. But for right now, all I can tell you is this: you need to stop her."

"I…I can't."

"Yes, you ca–"

Jaune pressed the red button on her screen and flung Amber away from him into the grass. He wanted to scream and could only hold back because he knew that doing so might alert the killer inside the CCT to his presence.

She was right, and that was the worst part. If this incredibly powerful huntress woman was a terrorist, tonight was a prime opportunity for her to strike. Beacon's entire student body, as well as the hand-picked cream of the crop from Haven, Atlas, and Shade, plus the majority of the teaching body of those schools, Ozpin and the General of Atlas – the loss of that many critical guardians of humanity's safety would cripple the world's defenses for decades to come. And Perry, Nora, and Ren were all still inside. One life of a phony couldn't be worth all that.

He nodded, realizing that what Amber said was right all along. Jaune Arc didn't matter in comparison.

He was armed. He'd brought one of his new weapons with him, just to get used to carrying it. It wouldn't be enough to stop a full-fledged huntress, but maybe she'd be so busy mangling the corpse of some insolent whelp who dared to interrupt her that she would forget to set off whatever bomb she'd prepared.

I'm going to die.

What is this, the eighth time I've thought that? Ninth?

Jaune clenched his teeth so hard that he practically felt one of them deposit a chip onto his tongue, then ran towards the CCT.

Every step he took made it worse. The entire Atlesian army contingent stationed to guard the tower had been massacred, and with no regard for basic human decency. The only reason he still could walk was because of the momentum he felt. As long as he kept moving and didn't slow down to talk himself out of it, he wouldn't stop. It would take effort on his part to break the cycle of his legs taking steps, and he consciously was holding back that mental effort.

The elevator ride up only took about forty seconds, and at the ten second mark, he realized that his opponent would almost certainly be waiting for him on the other side and began to panic. The CCT elevators showed a little arrow pointing up or down whenever the system was in motion, meaning that he was almost certainly ascending right into his enemy's aware clutches.

Jaune threw one of the bodies that was leaning against the wall to the floor and took its spot. He had half a mind to jump right through as soon as the doors opened and tried and get in a good hit on the enemy, but that plan was foolish. He might be able to lower their aura slightly, but it would then immediately result in his demise. If he simply did his best to dodge and stay alive for as long as possible, he might distract them for longer.

And that's the whole goal of this, isn't it? Throw away my life in the line of duty like a good hunter, like Amber did. Perhaps I'll also get lucky and end up in a scroll instead of a brain-dead corpse hidden beneath the school.

Jaune reached into his left pants pocket and pulled out the weapon he'd brought with him. Nora, I hope you were right about this. Wait, did I remember to load it with Dust before I–

The doors opened.

Too late now.

A steady stream of fire poured right into the room, so brilliant and continuous that Jaune felt pain just being in the vicinity of it. It didn't reach him, as he was hiding behind the wall of the button-covered elevator that housed the retracted door and it was aimed straight forward, but the heat was still so intense that it felt like he'd just showered in gasoline and then taken up smoking.

Jaune raised his arms to cover his face, only for them to start to get burns as well. His training with Amber kicked in, and he remembered to lower his sword arm (even though he sorely lacked a sword) to keep it usable. The heat of the fire scorched his non-dominant hand, but the rest of his body was mostly protected. Jaune's screams of agony were consumed by the rip-roaring crackle of the steady beam of fire.

After about twenty seconds of solid burning, the flames died down, and into the elevator stepped a woman wearing a crimson dress with yellow highlights. Jaune recognized her as the one Amber had pointed out from her dark hair, though she seemed to have changed her outfit since then.

She took two steps into the elevator and stopped in the center of the small chamber. Jaune pushed off the wall he'd been hiding behind and slammed the taser in his hand straight towards the back of her neck. Unfortunately, her head snapped around to catch the sudden movement, and one of her shoulders deflected his attack before he could make contact with her skin. The Lightning Dust powered weapon he wielded sparked harmlessly into her dress, and she pressed a heel into Jaune's gut.

He realized his mistake as he sailed out of the elevator and into the computer terminal room. Nora had said that her taser was useful for her fighting style as both a backup weapon and a semblance booster, and Jaune had assumed that he could still utilize it for the former purpose. However, electricity-based attacks were stopped by insulators like fabric, which meant that having a taser was more or less useless when someone unskilled (like Jaune) lacked the accuracy to hit exposed skin. He'd thought from Nora's description of its versatility in combat that a taser would be an ace-in-the-hole failsafe, but like any other weapon, it still required some basic training at least to use. There was nothing so idiotproof that it couldn't be out-idioted by Jaune.

Twin fireballs materialized in the woman's hand for a brief second before she herself disappeared, swallowed up by gray. Jaune scrambled to his feet but fell back down in his haste to get away from her. Crawling as fast as he could, he dove behind a desk for cover and brace himself for incineration.

I wasn't even able to stall her for five seconds. What a loser I am…still, I guess that's four and a half seconds more of life that everyone at the prom can have. I don't regret anything if it means that Nora, Perry, and Ren now have a better chance of surviving.

I tried my best.

.

.

.

.

Aaaaaaand, I'm still alive. I am, aren't I?

Jaune opened his eyes and sat up. His body wasn't the crispity crunch black stuff on a barbecue grill, so he did seem to still be alive. Peering out from behind the desk he'd cowered behind, Jaune looked to see an up-arrow on the elevator. Both of the doors were closed.

Wait, she was inside the elevator, and the wall I was hiding behind had buttons on it, and I pressed off of it to jump at her, and…did I trap her in it?

If he had, she wasn't exactly trapped, but she would be stuck in there until she reached whatever floor he'd randomly sent her to, and then she'd also be delayed for the full length of the ride back down.

Jaune raised a fist in victory and let out a brief whoop. "Stall tactics for the w–"

Then the world exploded around him.

THBOOOOOOWM!

A blast of noise so loud that it nearly split open Jaune's head screeched through the air, and the entire CCT tower shook on its foundations. The shockwave blew out several of the windows, and no small number of computer monitor screens shattered as well. Jaune lost his footing once more and fell to the ground, bumping his head against a computer tower so hard that blood was drawn as he did.

When he was standing once more, rubbing the gash on his forehead with a wrist, Jaune noticed that the elevator arrow was now pointing down.

Shoot, she's coming back! Jaune reached for his taser in his pocket, only to find empty space and lint where it had once been. Frantically searching the floor for his only means of fighting back against the superhuntress, he sifted through all manner of knocked over office supplies and broken glass, only to come up with nothing.

That's it, then. I'm unarmed, and she's going to kill me.

"Mr. Arc!"

Wait, that sounds like…

"Ozpin? Sir, where are you?"

Jaune rushed over to the broken window and saw that at the base of the tower was the headmaster, holding a bullhorn and surrounded by a large number of armed teachers and students. All of Teams RWBY and CVFY and the rest of Team JNPR was down there as well.

"We've got the area surrounded. Unfortunately, the elevator's in use, so we have no means of coming up at the moment. We're working on a solution; just hold on for a few more minutes."

He didn't have a few more minutes left in him. Heck, he would call it a miracle if he could scrounge together a few more seconds. "Sir…m-my aura's broken, and I'm unarmed! I don't stand a chance!"

"Jaune!" screamed Nora, cupping her hands to her cheeks to make her voice heard from so far. "All you need to do is believe in yourself. Also, if that was you, nice explosion, sugar!"

"Give 'em hell, Jaune!" cheered Velvet. "You got this one!"

Jaune pulled himself from the window and picked up a shard of broken glass, only to immediately discard it. He was more likely to cut his hand on it and make his death that much more agonizing than do any real damage to his foe.

The school's safe now, and Amber's bad guy will be caught when she gets down, so all I've got to do is focus on surviving.

The elevator door opened once more.

It was the Citron Commander person, the one who'd arrested Roman. There could be no other. The brief flash of golden hair was the same as what she'd seen in the photographs, and no normal huntsman-in-training would dare to have the guts to stand off with Cinder Fall herself.

She had to admit to herself, as she ascended the elevator to a higher floor, his actions were the best possible moves he could have made in the given scenario. Fighting her solo was impossible, so he'd shoved her towards the back of the elevator and tried to trap her inside…no, he'd succeeded at trapping her inside. She could have easily forced the doors open, but then she would have found herself on the wrong floor. That meant she would've had to fly out the window and go back to the floor she needed to be on, and that would've drawn too much attention. Stealth was her only surviving ally. Tonight was a marathon, not a sprint, and Arc had somehow know that and used it to limit her mobility. Masterful…

Jaunethan Arc had taken a lot away from her. Nothing she truly valued was lost, for Cinder herself still drew breath, but he'd deprived her of plenty of tools she needed for her plans. Roman Torchwick was now in a maximum security prison for hunter-level criminals, and the loss of Emerald and Mercury had Arc's stink all over it. Plus, she had no proof, but she deeply suspected that the mysterious and tragic death by starvation of Arthur Watts was somehow Jaune's fault as well. Sure, Watts had expired in Salem's Evernight Castle thousands of miles from Vale, but Cinder just knew he had something to do with it.

Dr. Watts was a useful tool – emphasis on tool, but it's true, nonetheless. With his script to hack into the CCT's surveillance and broadcasting systems only half finished, I needed to lower the computer matrix's security systems manually, lest they delete it before it took effect. I didn't even have time to start uploading the script itself before that Citronella fool interrupted me!

It was no matter. Cinder would simply ride the elevator up, let it reset, head back down, kill Arc at her leisure, and finish spreading Watts' script into the CCT's system. Honestly, it was probably better this way – with Arc seeking her out, he saved her the time of having to hunt him down and pull the thorn he was becoming out of her side.

Wait a second, why do I smell smoke?

Cinder looked over her shoulder and saw that her Dustwoven dress was sparking.

Isn't that the spot where the fool's taser hi–

THBOOOOOOWM!

"Clever," said the evil woman, stepping out of the elevator. "Igniting my very clothing and causing it to combust. Very clever – you managed to both deprive me of my Dust and my remaining aura in one blow. But based on your wounds, I'd venture a guess that you're also out of aura. I've still got Midnight, and you're unarmed." She twirled both swords.

"And you're naked, lady."

"W-Well, yes," the naked lady admitted. "My dress was destroyed in the subsequent explosion, as a side effect of weaving the Dust directly into –"

"JAUNE! WHAT'S THAT ABOUT A NAKED LADY?"

The woman's eyes turned to the shattered window. "Who was that?"

"How did Nora even hear that?" Jaune wondered aloud. "Look, ma'am, I've got the building surrounded."

"What?" she sneered angrily. "That's – you – I'll kill you!" Her swords rose up.

"Or…" Jaune said calmly, torn between averting his eyes out of modesty or not taking them off his enemy for even a second. "I could offer you a trade."

"What could you possibly have that I would want?"

"My shirt for your…weird, glassy sword things."

"I could run you through and take your shirt by force."

"Yeah, but then it would have a hole in it, and I think you need every inch over coverage you can get."

"You think you can deter me from my cause…with the offer of a shirt?"

Jaune shrugged. "You're surrounded. You've lost either way. Now, you could kill me and go out and face justice for Am…for everyone you've hurt dressed in your skivvies, or you could take my offer and get a free shirt for the price of a pair of swords that won't make a difference against the army Ozpin's assembled down there."

"I ought to kill you, just for what you've cost me."

Jaune really hoped she would see logic and decide not to. Ozpin and his forces were probably making their way up the building by now, and there was no way for Miss Hottie to escape.

H-Hottie cuz she has a fire semblance, not because I find her attractive or anything. She killed one of my best friends, and I'm with Nora now.

I'm not turned on right now. That's a taser in my pocket.

The glass swords were tossed to the floor in between them, with the enemy scowling as they flew from her hands. Jaune picked them up and took a few steps back, then slowly took off his tuxedo jacket. He was a man of his word, but that didn't mean the woman was equally trustworthy, so he kept his eyes on her at all times.

Because I don't trust her to not stab me in the back. No other reason why I'm staring.

He threw his shirt and coat at her, both of which were eagerly snatched up. As she began to dress herself, Jaune noticed a small pink object by the woman's heels.

"Also, I want you to carefully kick the taser to me."

She did so, sending the weapon rolling across the floor towards him. Jaune chucked one of her swords out the open window and picked up the taser with his freed up hand.

From outside, he heard a sharp wail. "OUCHIE! Some sword just nearly cut my rabbit ears off!"

Oh, this night just keeps getting better and better.

Goodwitch, Port, Oobleck, an Atlas military commander guy, five teams of his Atlesian huntsmen, and some of the fourth years from Beacon all collectively trained their weapons on Cinder Fall as she was taken into custody. Ozpin had pulled out all the stops to make sure she didn't cause any trouble, but it didn't even seem to be necessary. The Dust explosion from her dress that his taser ignited had significantly weakened her.

Unnecessary, but not unappreciated. Jaune waved goodbye smugly as the vile woman who'd murdered his closest female friend was led away in handcuffs. She spat out something about vowing vengeance upon his entire bloodline when she returned, but an even louder noise drowned the empty threat out.

"Oh Dust, it's true! Jaune, she's totally naked!"

"N-Nora, why don't you put down Magnhild while we have this talk." Jaune stepped away cautiously as his girlfriend glared at both him and Cinder. "And besides, she's wearing a shirt."

"Oh yes, she's wearing a hastily thrown on shirt that you were wearing just five minutes ago when you randomly left to 'go to the bathroom.'" Nora made finger quotes as she said the last bit. "That really makes you look innocent. And why, pray tell, are you also topless?"

"Nora, it's not what it looks like!"

Jaune regretted it as soon as he said it, because people typically only said that line when it was exactly what it looked like. However, in this one extremely odd instance, it wasn't, not that his girlfriend believed it.

Nora bit her lip and tapped on her chin. "Really? Because it looks like you've been out tasing other girls. You still have it, by the way, in your hand." Nora nodded to his hand. "If you'd really cared, you would've made an effort to at least throw away the evidence."

"What?"

Jaune looked down at the hand of his in question. Indeed, he still was holding the taser from when Cinder had returned it to him at clothespoint.

"W-What?" he asked again.

"Jaune, I know things have been rocky between us recently, but that doesn't mean you can just go around prodding your weapon against other girl's bare skin." Nora's disgusted frown turned into a sorrowful sulk. "I was hoping that your first time would be with me."

"My first time…tasing someone?"

She nodded earnestly.

"W-Well, you know, I actually didn't tase Cinder. I only tased her dress. That was what caused the explosion – the Dust inside of it igniting and blowing her up."

"Hmmmm." Nora regarded him with some suspicion for a moment. "Well, I guess I can believe you. We are going to have to talk about Cinder taking your explosion virginity at some point, but if you only finished on her clothes, I guess I can't be mad."

Jaune sighed in relief.

"But make no mistake – I'm getting mine tonight." Nora grabbed Jaune by the wrist and led him down the fabricated stone stairs Goodwitch had made to let the hunters up to the higher floor since the elevator had died shortly after the explosion. "We're going all the way tonight."

And that was how Jaune spent the rest of his prom night in his dorm, tasering Nora in the stomach until he ran out of Lightning Dust.

The End.

tl;dr Jaune fixes things with Nora but them Amber turns out to be a dirty thot who sends him out to die

Next Chapter: Old Friend, Why Are You So Mad

In which Jaune Arc picks out an easy first mission and visits a quaint, rustic village.

Author's Notes

No, this isn't the end. It is, however the end of the Nora-Ren-Jaune love triangle, which was already too long as it was. Jaune and Nora have grown emotionally mature enough to electrically stimulate one another. Plus, Ren's now being regularly satisfied by his rabbit concubine, so he no longer needs his old partner. Ren lives according the law, and the law regarding bunnygirls is absolute:

Signa Grindset Rule #69: Even animals are preferable to women sexually.

Hey, he don't blame Ren; he doesn't make the rules.

So, how about Amber? Who saw it coming that she was secretly a d***s****ing son of a b**** m***f***er with a dirty a**h***? I certainly didn't, and I think I have a pretty good handle on how this fic is going to go.

Speaking of how this fic is going to go, we're approaching the endgame here. Living The Dream has 26 chapters, with the last one being a semi-chapter (more of an epilogue, in the form of a Velvet article). That means that we're approaching the final arc – first missions. Cinder, sadly, shall not be returning, as she is firmly in Ozpin's custody, and he doesn't exactly take prisoners when it comes to enemy maidens. However, we do have several more villains left to fight…

Fans of my other fic 'K' (I would highly recommend reading it – the author is an utter GENIUS with words) might remember how I warned you that Jaune would be viciously molesting Cinder. I bet you thought I was joking, but no, the long awaited Jaune-Cinder-Nora taser explosion orgy that no one asked for or wanted has finally occurred. No one shall exit a virgin.

Happy rats, and don't do crime!