3. Everything's Gone and the Pain Carries On
"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, observing the way Anakin's disoriented eyes slowly drifted back and forth above the oxygen mask strapped to his face. "We're in the med bay. You've just had surgery."
When Anakin tried to respond, Obi-Wan leaned over and gently removed the mask.
"Master," Anakin gasped, tears flooding his eyes. "Where's…where's Padmé?"
"Padmé is safe."
"No! No, you don't understand! She's in danger―"
"Anakin," Obi-Wan cut him short, features drawn tight with bitter regret. "You were the one who hurt her."
Anakin's face crumpled. "No," he whispered. "I didn't mean to…I was so angry…"
Obi-Wan heaved a sigh. "Yes, I know. But if you cannot learn to control yourself…"
He didn't know what else to say. Could a Sith even learn to control their anger?
"You have to take her to Palpatine," Anakin suddenly said. "He can help her. He'll know how to keep her from dying!"
Obi-Wan frowned. "Anakin, Padmé isn't dying. Not anymore."
"Not…anymore?"
"After your betrayal…Padmé was dying. The medical droid nearly insisted on inducing birth, lest the children were to die alongside her."
Anakin's yellow eyes grew big. "Children?"
"Yes. Padmé is carrying twins. They're all in perfect health now."
A curtain of horror fell across Anakin's expression. "It was…it was my fault?"
Something like ice slid down his spine. "What was your fault?"
"Padmé's death," Anakin wept. "I thought it was childbirth. But it wasn't. I'm the one who killed her."
The chilling dread grew heavy in Obi-Wan's chest. "You foresaw Padmé's death?"
Anakin could only nod miserably.
And suddenly, everything slotted into place.
Palpatine had been grooming Anakin since he was a child; had created a rift between Anakin and the Jedi so vast, his fall had been imminent. And Padmé's death had been the ultimate tipping point.
The tipping point that had sent Anakin spiraling down a path of treachery and slaughter.
The weight in Obi-Wan's chest fractured and splintered, slicing apart flesh and bone. He struggled to breathe around the cutting pain.
And then, "You should've left me to burn."
Obi-Wan jerked his head up and met Anakin's furious gaze, bright and heated like flaming sulfur.
"If you really loved me, Obi-Wan," Anakin spat. "You would've killed me."
Obi-Wan shot to his feet, icy claws reaching up and grabbing him by the throat. He feared he'd never breathe again.
"I was not feeling merciful," he forced out, more sharply, more cruelly than he'd intended.
Obi-Wan turned abruptly, stumbling away from the med bay.
Behind him, Anakin screamed something. But Obi-Wan's heart pounded so erratically, so loudly in his ears, he could hear nothing else.
Obi-Wan didn't know how long he'd been meditating for.
Long enough to learn how to breathe again. Long enough to feel the vast darkness that now permeated the universe―a shadow so widespread, so fathomless, it had coalesced into a yawning chasm of anguish and fear that threatened to swallow their galaxy whole.
The Sith had triumphed. The light of the Jedi had been snuffed out from existence. The balance had been shattered irreparably.
When Obi-Wan dragged open his eyes, tears blurred his vision, further smearing the wavering blue light of hyperspace visible through the viewport above him.
In the distance, he heard clanking―durasteel against durasteel.
It was sole instinct that had Obi-Wan surging to his feet, a hand moving to retrieve his lightsaber.
But…there was no clanker army here. There was no war.
"What if I told you that the Republic was now under the control of the dark lord of the Sith?"
How easily we were all fooled, Obi-Wan thought bitterly as he exited the cockpit and moved to investigate the ruckus likely being caused by Anakin and his screeching trash can.
He followed the rhythmic clanging through the narrow halls of the frigate, until he came upon the sight of Anakin struggling to walk atop a pair of newly installed cybernetic legs, right mechno-arm clinging to the bulkhead.
"Sir, I must insist that you rest," the surgical droid was saying.
"I agree," Obi-Wan said dryly and instructed the droid, "Retrieve the repulsorlift chair."
"I don't want it," Anakin snapped, eyes blazing.
"I know," Obi-Wan said simply.
Anakin didn't voice it; didn't need to. The accusation sat painful and silent between them, punctuated by Anakin's strained breathing.
The shame burned hotly and kept Obi-Wan's mouth welded shut. Kept him from falling into that long held routine of lecturing Anakin for acting so recklessly.
When the surgical droid returned, pushing along the repulsorlift chair, he was accompanied by Artoo. To Obi-Wan's relief, the astromech shrieked a series of beeps at Anakin, until he reluctantly lowered himself onto the chair.
Obi-Wan drew closer, needing to see the damage for himself, and crouched down beside Anakin. Almost involuntarily, he reached out with trembling fingers and traced the edges of Anakin's hot, irritated skin, where the bottom of his thigh met durasteel; where flesh had met plasma blade.
Obi-Wan had believed that the act of striking Anakin down would burn his heart to ash. But he'd been wrong; it wasn't like that at all. Instead, the pain was chronic―a continuous, burning pyre that flared violently with every agonizing beat of his heart.
"This isn't the same as your mechno-arm," Obi-Wan reminded him gently. "You're bearing all your weight onto these mechanical legs. If you don't allow time for the motor and sensory nerves to properly heal and adjust to the neural interface, it's only going to become more inflamed."
Anakin stared down at him, eyes scorching like sun flares. "I hate you."
Obi-Wan did not apologize. "I know."
The same way he would never forgive Anakin for cutting down the Jedi, Obi-Wan would never forgive himself for cutting down Anakin. Both were his failures to carry.
Obi-Wan pushed himself to his feet. "Have you eaten?"
Anakin shook his head.
"Come with me," Obi-Wan said, and to his surprise, Anakin followed without protest.
Obi-Wan dismissed the surgical droid and Artoo sputtered rudely at Anakin, before trundling off down a different hall.
"Artoo says you're protecting me," Anakin said with no small amount of contempt. "What's that about?"
"Emperor Palpatine has placed a twenty million credit bounty on your head," Obi-Wan said blandly.
Anakin sneered. "That didn't take long."
"Betrayal is the way of the Sith," Obi-Wan said as they entered the small refectory. "It was only a matter of time."
"I'm aware," Anakin bit out, yellow eyes narrowed dangerously. "I had planned to do the same."
That was news to Obi-Wan.
"I thought Palpatine was your friend."
Obi-Wan retrieved a ration pack and set it at the end of one of the tables, where Anakin could comfortably reach from his repulsorlift chair, and slid onto the bench beside him.
"Palpatine was a liar. He became a means to an end," Anakin said resentfully, eyes dimming to embers and shoulders curling inwards. "I thought he was the key to saving Padmé."
"He had us all fooled," Obi-Wan allowed himself to say faintly.
He would not absolve Anakin of his crimes. But Palpatine had been far more cunning than any of them could have ever predicted. The Sith Lord had not only been in control of the Senate for the past thirteen years, he had manipulated both sides of the war as though he were overseeing a game of dejarik and ultimately commanded the army that had destroyed them all.
Worse than that, he had been exploiting Anakin since he was a mere child.
That sickening feeling twisted in his stomach again and Obi-Wan was forced to swallow back the rancid taste of bile.
Anakin looked to him with dying eyes. "I wish I would've killed him when I had the chance."
Obi-Wan found he had nothing to say to that.
A single night could not contain the many regrets Obi-Wan carried in his burning heart. But even if he wanted to, he felt it was far, far too late to voice any of them.
"Eat your rations and get some rest," is what Obi-Wan finally said, standing to his feet and turning to leave. "It'll be a while yet before you're ready to kill anyone again."
A/N: Okay, so I finally marked this story as incomplete. I originally wasn't planning to add more to this, but my brain apparently disagreed… I doubt this will be a long fic, but feel free to subscribe for more updates.
And if you like it so far, please review! I would love to know your thoughts! :3