Hi, everyone! This is my first attempt at writing a story. I'm just a fanfiction and Twilight addict. It took me a few months to develop the idea for this story, and I hope you like it. Please feel free to leave a review or send a message letting me know what you think.

Like everyone here who writes, I want to emphasize that Twilight and its characters, including Edward and Bella, do not belong to me. They are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

The story will unfold slowly and will have moments of violence, strong language, but also...lemons. If you don't like some of these things, please refrain from reading my story. I am a believer in a happy ending, so it will be one here as well.

Prologue

A New Day...

I wish to speak of a new beginning, but the pain keeps pulling me back every time. Every breath I take, every glance, every minute - torment. My life has changed too much in the past months, and I know it will never be the same again. I embraced the pillow tighter, trying to fill the void I felt. I sighed slowly because I know that this attempt will be in vain. Opening my eyes, I saw a stranger in the wall mirror - a pale face with prominent cheekbones, deep shadows under the eyes, empty and hazy eyes. I don't even want to imagine what others think, just their looks are enough. I will never be able to look at my family in the same way - they know. I remember their terrified faces when they saw me. It was as if they were seeing a corpse - they were seeing a dead person who was alive.

And when the threat is no longer there, and you've lost the most important things at the last moment... What are you actually doing? It's hard for me to meet their eyes filled with regret and pain. They feel helpless, I feel helpless... A directionless path. It took me too long even to breathe without panic, without the constant memory tearing at my soul - no, I haven't forgotten, and I never will. Somewhere in my pursuit of revenge, I lost myself without realizing it. I won, but I lost twice more.

Him.

He didn't even know. He doesn't know, and he won't understand because... Because He is gone. My heart tightened again. Why did it have to be this way?

Hidden within these four walls, I don't have much besides time for reflection - time for memories – that is what's left for me. Time, too much time.

The noise in the house made me move - they have to see that I'm okay. I have to be okay for them. Steps, slow steps – I said to myself. Slowly, I got up from the bed and drew the curtains. I saw that the weather was sunny enough, so I decided to go to downstairs. Maybe even to the swing in the garden. As I descended the stairs, the quiet creaking of the boards made noise and the lower floor quiet down. I hate how they tiptoe around me, afraid to break the little that's left in my soul.

No, I won't shatter, I won't give up. But how do I explain that to them?

Without a word, only exchanging shy smiles, I passed by them and went to the kitchen. The coffee machine was loaded, and I thought coffee would help. I don't want to sleep. I can't sleep. Too many memories. Too many nightmares. A picture etched in my mind. No, don't go there. After pouring the coffee into the cup, I went to the garden. Slowly, I reached the swing and allowed it to embrace me, curling up in it and hugging my knees. The sun's rays warmed me, and for a brief moment, I allowed myself to dream about what my day would be like now if everything hadn't gone to hell. I closed my eyes and felt a light smile appear on my face. Smiles, love, happiness...

No, don't go there.

Now it's best to be alone - that's when I feel the best. But they won't leave me alone because they're afraid. Afraid I might do something that will cause them more pain. No, I won't, but I also don't want to spend my whole life watching without seeing, breathing without feeling. What's left for me? How much more? How do you tell a story whose end came too soon, took too much and left an empty and quiet shell?

Every time I close my eyes, I see their faces. Him... always with the crooked smile and with that fiery and lively look - and I don't want to see another. No, actually, there's one more person. Someone so pure and innocent and now it's not here... And how could I give everything without thinking to be where those who didn't deserve it went. Opening my eyes, I felt my tears flowing again - and that's all I have left - to cry out my soul and then to heal myself. Steps, small steps. Even the little I had was taken away, because I allowed myself to believe. I allowed myself to dream, he gave me wings, and they took them away from me - forcibly, quickly, and without me being able to do anything.

The Volturi... the reason I'm here now. The reason I have nothing, the reason they're not here. There will come a day of reckoning, I'm sure of that, and this time, I'll be ready. And until then, I will cherish the memory of them because that's what breaks me and gives me strength. And then... then we'll be together, no matter where.

I closed my eyes again and let the gentle breeze and the warm rays try to calm me.