Connie hoped against hope that it wasn't a dangerous mission—though he'd only called it dangerous where she was concerned. Well, he was right; she didn't know how to use a gun. She'd only get in the way on a raid. A misstep by a non-professional could be deadly. So it was best that she stayed here. And best that he went after the bad guys…. She had to reassure herself, though, that it was the traffickers who needed to be afraid. It sounded like it was just one of them, at least….

Dear God, she prayed. Please, keep him safe….

She looked into the sitting room. Sonya and Ana had been able to wrap their arms around Nika, and now were holding her as she sobbed almost silently.

Connie knew she'd only be intruding if she went back into the room, and so she stood in the foyer, feeling supremely awkward. She stepped over to the table beneath the staircase and stooped over to smell the roses. Absently, she brushed the leaves of the fern, which rustled at the touch. A few leaves tumbled to the floor. She drew her hand back, not wanting to damage the plant, but accidently tore one of the leaves off. She dropped it into the pot and backed away.

A creak on the stairway. Startled eyes looked down at her. Then, two girls crept down the stairs, eyeing her warily, looking around as if to see if there were any men hiding in the shadows.

Maybe I'd better just wait on the porch… I'm disturbing things here. I don't belong. She reached for the door knob.

"Connie!" said Sonya. Connie jumped. "Would you like to join us for lunch? We're just heating up some leftovers. Lia, the one who referred you to us, made them originally, so they're good."

Connie realized she was hungry. She hadn't had much for breakfast, just snatched up a strawberry pastry on the way out the door.

"Sure." At least it would be doing something. It would be awkward to just hang around the house, trying to stay out of the way until Jason came back. She stepped tentatively back into the sitting room. "Do you need some help?"

Sonya waved her hand. "I can take care of it. It'll be ready in about ten minutes." She gestured to the couch. "Make yourself at home." She headed off through a doorway. Past a dim dining room, Connie glimpsed what looked like a cheery yellow kitchen.

Connie sat down on the couch. She felt alone, vulnerable, without Jason beside her. He had been the one to initiate this meeting; she was just along for the ride. She had no idea what to do now that the interview was over. How could she relate to girls who had experienced things more horrible than she could possibly imagine? She couldn't exactly ask Nika about her pregnancy. And she didn't want to. She had wanted a baby and lost him. Nika had become pregnant against her will, and probably hadn't even wanted to have a baby yet.

Ana shifted, keeping her arm protectively around Nika, who glanced at Connie, her eyes still glistening with tears. She looked down, as if ashamed of crying. Connie longed to put her arm around her, comfort her, but she doubted Nika would welcome touch from a stranger.

"So…" said Ana. "How long have you two been together? Jason mentioned you were friends before you were going out."

Connie brightened. Now this was a topic she enjoyed. "We were friends for a long time beforehand. He's the son of my boss."

Ana raised her eyebrows. "That has to be a bit awkward."

"It's not like that. Whit—Jason's dad—is my friend too. He's almost like a second father to me…." She gave a short laugh. "My own dad was never…very dependable. But Whit—you can depend on him no matter what. Jason too."

"So he meant what he said when he said he'd find Nika's friend?"

Connie didn't want to make promises she couldn't keep, but Jason had said it, unless she'd misread it…. He'd probably meant he'd try to look for her as long as he was in Muldavia; it didn't mean he'd stay after their mission was over.

Connie settled for, "He knows what he's doing. He was a secret agent."

Ana's eyes lit up. "Really? That's so cool!" She leaned forward. "So…what's it like being married to a secret agent?"

"Ex-secret agent. It's kind of…" She searched for the right word. "Scary. Like just now. He reassured me, but… I can't help but think he might get hurt."

Ana frowned. "Oh. I guess that would be hard. I want to be sort of an agent myself someday, but I don't know if I will be able to face the danger, when it comes down to it…. And if you're not an agent yourself, it would be hard to let him go off on missions… not knowing if he'd come back…" Her blue eyes shadowed.

"Yeah." Connie's heart twisted, thinking about the many times he almost didn't come back, and the times that he came back seriously injured in mind and body. "But he's not taking as dangerous of missions now. So…I shouldn't have to worry so much anymore."

"Yavesh is dangerous, though. He's taken on this mission."

"But if it gets too dangerous—he'll back out." Connie wished she could believe that completely.

"So… He won't find the lost girls?" Alarm shot through Ana's eyes, and reflected in Nika's.

"Well—" Connie didn't want to dash their hopes or let them think Jason wouldn't follow through on his promises. "He'll do all that he can. He's investigating Yavesh and he wants to bring them down. He'll give the information that he finds to others—people who are still agents."

"Oh. I suppose I can't expect him to risk too much. It seems like any time agents get close, they get killed."

A jolt pierced Connie's heart at this. It made her almost want to back out now. Because Yavesh might even go after someone who was investigating them "safely" ….

"That's almost happened…too many times…."

"Oh—he mentioned that. I wouldn't want him to go through that again, either. I've seen what Yavesh does to people it captures… And then…. some of the agents just disappear. They probably get sold themselves. I don't blame him for not wanting to get too close. The thought of it scares me to death. But if it helps save other girls like me…. No one can know what it's like unless they've been in it."

Nika turned to Ana. "I wish I was as brave as you."

Ana squeezed her shoulder. "You are—you just don't know it yet." She gave her a brilliant smile, and Nika smiled in return.

"Lunch time!" called Sonya's cheerful voice from the dining room.

Connie headed into the dining room with Nika and Ana. Other girls filed in at the same time, most of them from another room. There were ten in all. They looked at Connie with wary and curious glances. She gave them a reassuring smile in return, and some of them smiled back.

Standing at the head of the table, Sonya said, "This is Connie Whittaker. She's going to be our guest for a while."

"Hi. It's nice to meet you."

Connie waited for the others, in case they had particular seats, then sat down in the empty chair between Sonya and Ana. Then Sonya led them in prayer.

Lunch was a cheesy lasagna-like dish, with a sharp but sweet spice Connie couldn't identify. There was also spicy beans and fruit salad and delicious spongy bread with a crisp crust. The girls asked her questions and she did her best to answer. Some of them asked if her husband was really the American hero of Muldavia and she laughed and said yes. She gave them some stories of Jason's heroism, skimming over the darker parts.

Ana asked Connie more about married life; she seemed curious about it, yet apprehensive. "Sometimes I feel like… I'm broken beyond repair. Even if I let someone close enough… he will see how dirty I am, and not want to touch me." Anguish seized her face.

Connie touched her shoulder. "Ana—none of that was your fault. There are good men out there, and they'll see you for what you are—a strong, beautiful young woman who has overcome more than anyone should, with incredible grace."

Ana smiled. "I wish I could believe that. I hope it's true… I just feel like I lost so much of my life. I was just starting to get interested in boys—and then my life was taken from me. Years of it. I can't relate to regular girls who went to school, went out on dates…. And I can hardly imagine myself letting a man touch me, much less…. I want to be normal. I can imagine it…but I don't know how I can… ever be normal. Especially… with a man."

Connie's heart broke for her. For all the stolen years. She didn't know what she could tell Ana. "I think that there is a man out there for you. He will see that you have been hurt—he won't expect you to be like other girls. And that's okay. You don't have to feel like you have to rush into anything. You're only sixteen. Just take it slow. And someday, you'll meet the right guy."

Ana nodded. "It'll probably take a while… I know I've come far already. I just… get tired of this… I want to move forward, forget the past… pretend it's not part of me. But I can't."

Connie felt out of her depth; it was Jason who knew about trauma and overcoming it. But then she remembered… there was something in her past she wanted to forget… "I think…it'll always be with you. But you're overcoming it. And eventually it will fade away, so you hardly think about it."

"I hope so."

"Me too."

Ana tilted her head, as if she wasn't sure what she meant, but didn't press the matter further, to Connie's relief. She wasn't quite ready to move past it…not to the point where she could speak about it without her heart feeling like it was coming apart at the seams.

Sonya brought dessert in—a beautiful chocolate pie. Connie dug into it and savored every bite—it was decadent heaven. More richly chocolate than she'd ever tasted. She was glad she'd stayed, just for the dessert.

She was so involved in eating the pie that she didn't catch what happened. A girl began to cry, her face buried in her hands, heartbreaking sobs wrenching from her throat. She was a red-headed girl, probably no more than thirteen, who had barely spoken during the dinner. A tall black girl and a short Romani girl helped her out of her seat and half-carried her out of the room and Connie could hear their footsteps creaking up the stairs.

"What happened?" Connie whispered to Sonya.

"Well—we try not to use triggering language, but we can't police everything, especially things that are meant innocently. I think Eris mentioned something about going back to her mom soon, and Dahlia—well, she just lost her mom, before she came here."

"Oh. That's terrible!"

"She just came here a week ago, after she got out of the hospital." Her voice fell to a barely audible whisper. "Her…father almost beat her to death. Most of the girls here were abused by boyfriends or fathers. Nika and Ana are the exception. Most of the girls who are sold into slavery… we never see them again."

The rest of the girls slowly got up and filed out of the room, scattering through the house, from the sound of their footsteps. Except for Ana and Nika.

Nika piled plates on top of each other, clearing the table.

"Nika," said Sonya, "Who else was assigned to help clean up?"

"Dahlia."

"Oh. Well—"

Connie stood. "I can help."

"That's okay, you're our guest."

"I want to. It's the least I can do." She didn't want to feel useless.

"Well, okay." Sonya smiled.

"I'll help too!" said Ana.

"No, you go ahead. The three of us can take care of it."

Ana pursed her lips. "Okay." She gave a little wave and strode out the door.

"You both can bring in the dishes, and I'll load them into the dishwasher," said Sonya.

Connie gathered three plates, stacking them on top of each other. She passed Nika on the way to the kitchen but Nika kept her eyes down. She wished she could comfort her, ask if anything was wrong, but she didn't want to say anything that would upset her.

When there were only a few dishes left, Nika stopped in the dining room, cradling some glasses in her hands. "I—I'm sorry." Her voice was hoarse with the effort of pulling the words from her throat.

"What for?"

"For panicking. When Jason asked me about…. I wanted to help. But I—couldn't help but see their faces—I was locked in a room and the only time I saw them was when they…" She started shaking, the glasses in her hands clanking.

"Hey—it's okay." Connie went over to her. "Don't think about it. We…probably shouldn't have asked it."

"But Ana could tell you. I thought I was ready…. I mean, I have to be ready. Natasha is out there! They might've…already taken her baby. And they're hurting her, and the other girls… but I can't. I just can't—see them. The nightmares—I only just stopped having them every night and—" She shook her head. "Terrible that I can't face it, when they are still in it…." Her face was ashen, dark circles under her eyes.

Connie ventured to touch Nika's arm. She gasped but didn't move away. "Don't feel like you have to answer questions yet. It…happened more recently than with Ana, right?"

She nodded. "F-five months."

"It'll take time."

"But that might be too late! I have to…."

"Hey—it's okay." A thought came to her. "Maybe… there's another way you can tell us. Would you be able… to write it down? Then you wouldn't have to do it all at once. Write whatever you thought you could—then send it to us."

Her eyes sparked with hope. "M-maybe I could." A faint smile crossed her face. "I will try."

They carried the last of the dishes into the kitchen. As Nika set the glasses on the counter, she gasped, and one of the glasses tilted off of the counter to crash on the floor.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" She knelt, reaching for the shards of glass.

"No—Nika—it's fine," said Sonya. "I'll sweep it up. I don't want you to cut yourself."

Nika nodded and backed away. She leaned against the counter, looking shaken, her hand on her stomach.

Connie stepped over to her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah… it was just…" She looked up at her. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course!"

"I'm…" She looked down. A blush darkened her cheeks. "Pregnant."

"I know."

"You—you do?"

"You're starting to show."

"Oh—I thought this sweater was big enough, but now—I won't be able to hide it!" She looked away, as if she wanted to escape. "Not even all the girls here know. Now… I'll have to…" She swallowed, almost choking with shame.

"Nika—pregnancy isn't a shameful thing."

"But this…was from one of them." She took deep, deliberate breaths.

"It wasn't your fault."

"That's why I don't want this baby! It's his. I don't even know which of them it was…."

"I'm so sorry, Nika. Your first baby should've been a joyful thing—but he took that away from you."

Nika looked at her, her eyes shining. Connie wrapped her arms around her and held her as she cried silently. Tears dampened Connie's shoulder, but she didn't mind in the least. After a moment, Nika tentatively wrapped her arm around Connie's back. She sniffed. "Thank you," she whispered.

Then, she stepped back and gasped, her hand jerking to her stomach.

"The baby's kicking?" Connie asked.

"Yeah." There was no hope in Nika's eyes, only fear.

There had to be a way to help her see that it wasn't just a horrible thing…. that the baby was something good to come from something unspeakable….

"Can I feel?"

"Um…sure."

Carefully, Connie reached out and laid her palm over Nika's stomach. At first, she could feel nothing beneath the thick sweater. Then—a tiny thump against her palm. She pulled her hand away with surprise, then put it back. A little flutter, a tiny tapdance, then it was gone. Tears filled Connie's eyes. She tried to hold back the tears, but it only made it worse.

"What's wrong?" Alarm shot through Nika's eyes.

"I'm sorry." She wiped away tears that had spilled onto her cheeks. "It's just that… I lost my baby." The kitchen blurred into an indistinct mass of yellow and white. "H-he was only two months along, and I didn't even get to feel him kick, and I loved him. So, so much."

Nika touched Connie's shoulder.

Connie snatched up a clean napkin to wipe her nose, then threw it away, trying to banish thoughts of her baby. "I'm sorry. It just… I lost him so early…."

"I wish we could trade places. I mean—" Nika looked shocked. "No—none of the other things, only—if I could give you my baby, I would."

"Are you going to give it up for adoption?"

"Yeah. But just being…pregnant—scares me. And having the baby… it's supposed to hurt. A lot."

"I remember when I was pregnant…. It did scare me, too. But I saw it as worth it, because…I'd get to hold him in my arms…" Tears threatened to fall again; she held them back, but her eyes ached. "Maybe…if you focus on that…."

"I don't know if I can. I'm afraid…I'll see him looking back at me, when I see my baby."

"I can't pretend to know what you're feeling. But a baby is innocent. It's not their fault what happened. I think…you'll see new, innocent eyes. You'll see yourself, and who the baby will become. He'll be raised in a good home."

She tilted her head, a sliver of hope in her eyes. "Maybe…you're right. I'm just afraid of bringing a monster into the world."

"He won't be a monster. You'll be part of who he is, always, even if you give him up for adoption. And babies are their own people—they don't follow their own parents in everything."

Nika nodded. "You're right… I've just been so afraid. But maybe…. It won't be as bad as I thought." She smiled, tears hovering in her eyes. "You wouldn't… No—I can't ask that."

"What?"

"You wouldn't…want to adopt my baby, would you?"

Shock shot through Connie's heart. She was so stunned she could barely speak. "I… There are lots of other people, right here in Muldavia, who would love to adopt him."

"But you lost your baby. And you and Jason would be wonderful parents! You'd bring him up right and keep him safe."

"I…I'd have to talk to Jason about it." I'm not ready, she thought. I'd love to help Nika—but there are lots of moms out there better than me. Moms who know how to raise a kid. I just can't…not yet.

Not even adopt? a small voice said. You wouldn't have to risk being pregnant.

But… I can't.

Maybe in four months, you would be….

I just can't commit, not right now. I'm so sorry, Nika.

"Thank you!" Nika threw her arms around her, as if the adoption were a foregone conclusion, and an almost unbearable ache pierced Connie's heart.