Chapter 17
An: Happy Tuesday and Happy Halloween to all who celebrate. I hope this update finds you happy and well. FFN is STILL having a really hard time with updating, posting, and alerts. Please be patient as they work to rectify the situation. We are ALL frustrated.
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***Fiddling was had. All mistakes are mine.
"If you're feelin' down
I just wanna make you happier, baby
Wish I was around
I just wanna make you happier, baby
We've been doin' all this late night talkin'
'Bout anythin' you want until the mornin'
Now you're in my life
I can't get you off my mind."
"Late Night Talking" By Harry Styles
~oOo~
"Edward, you shouldn't have." Bella gave him an admonishing look.
"Of course, I should have. You would've done the same thing for me if you were out of town."
"Yeah, I know." She sighed. "The flowers you sent are gorgeous. Thank you. But all the food Kate brought. Oh my God. It's so much." Bella panned the phone over to show him the stunning bouquet.
A smile curved Edward's mouth. He was very pleased with the flowers he'd picked out. He was grateful Kate was there to help him, but overall, it was all him. "Yeah, give Kate a task and she'll run with it. I knew you were in good hands. What did she make you?"
"She made two casseroles, muffins, and some fancy Jennifer Aniston salad. It's delicious, by the way. And…it's the only thing that's healthy." Being down for six-plus weeks was going to take a toll, no matter how she sliced it. All this food certainly wasn't helping.
"You're healing, Bella. Relax, keep your foot up, and just go with it. There's nothing you can do right now but embrace the suck. You know?"
"You're right, but embracing the suck is hard," Bella whined, emphasizing the last word as she adjusted the blanket on her lap.
"It is. You look so much better, though. Is the pain more manageable?"
"Oh my God. I look horrible, but yes, the pain is already a bit better. But you know what? I'm so looking forward to a bath. I haven't had a proper shower since Saturday. So far it's been sponge baths and me leaning over the kitchen sink to wash my hair. Ugh. And, you know what else? There's only so many things on Netflix and Hulu a person can watch."
"Bella, you always look beautiful to me. It's only been three days. I'm sure there are plenty of things to watch or read, shug." Edward was amused by her stream of unconscious babbling. Bella was a hard person to keep down, much like himself.
Rose popped into the picture with Bella's dinner. "Hey, Edward. How's it going?"
"Going great. Emmett misses you."
"I know. I miss my monkey man, too. He never does well when I'm not around."
"Monkey man? Oh, ho. I'm gonna give him so much shit," Edward quipped.
Rose rolled her eyes. "Y'all are just a bunch of man-children. I swear." Rose walked out of the picture. Edward smirked as he heard her yammering in the background.
"Bye, Rose," Edward called out as he looked at the plate she set down in Bella's lap. "Yum, that looks good. Which casserole is that?"
"Mmmm…chicken poppyseed. Kate's my new BFF. That's all I have to say."
"That's a good one. Damn. I wish I was sitting there eating that with you. I feel guilty not being there to help you."
"Don't be. You're doing what you have to do. So…enough about me. How's the swing? The new bat?"
"I'm hitting. So far, so good."
"That's really great. I know you've been anxious about it." Bella took a bite of food and groaned. "Damn her, this is so good."
"We'll see how it all works out in the end. I'm happy with how it feels. Listen. I'm going to let you go and eat. You're making me hungry, so I'm gonna pop over and grab some food at the clubhouse." Edward rubbed his stomach as he heard it growl. "I wanted to call you after the game today and before it was too late."
"Okay," Bella responded as she took another bite.
"I miss you, shug. Seeing you is making me mighty homesick."
Bella's smile radiated through the phone. "Seeing you is making me homesick, too. And I'm home."
"Then we'll have to fix that up real soon, okay?"
"Mhmm," she muttered. "Have a great game tomorrow."
"Thanks. Sweet dreams."
~oOo~
It had been a grueling three weeks of practice in North Port, Florida. As the humidity rose, so did everyone's determination. The team was playing daily exhibition games, with only one day off a week, and on those days off, they were still working out before they took any time off for themselves. The games helped them mesh as a team, see where their weaknesses were, and work on team strategies. It was the ultimate in pre-gaming.
Bella had made tremendous strides during the last three and a half weeks, and though she was ready to get back on the field, she wasn't quite there yet. She hated missing the Challenge Cup, which started each season, but there was nothing she could do. She was relegated to her home gym, working on her upper strength, trying desperately not to lose all the muscle and agility she had gained. Once the initial need for pain meds subsided and her swelling became more manageable, she was able to get into a boot. This finally allowed her to handle her own care and make her own food.
Toward the end of an arduous day on the field, Edward felt his hamstring pull when he dove for an out of reach ball during the game. As he limped off the field, the coach pulled him aside.
"Cullen, go have one of the therapists look at that. We need you healthy for the rest of training."
"Yes, sir," Edward replied.
After a quick shower, Edward pulled on a pair of shorts and walked into the training room, looking for one of the PTs.
"Hey, Edward," Demetri greeted. "Whatcha need?"
"Hey, man. Hamstring pull. Coach told me to come in and have it looked at."
"Okay, let's see who's available. Give me a sec." Demetri walked away to see who he could find.
Edward drained his Powerade as he waited, dreading the numerous scenarios he had running through his head.
"Edward?"
Edward turned around, meeting a face he knew all too well. "Heidi?…what? How?" His words stumbled out of his mouth.
"I was just promoted from the Gwinnett Braves to this organization. Arrived two days ago."
"Congratulations." He gave her a hug.
"Thanks. So, what ails you? Or do you just need a massage?"
"Pulled right hamstring."
"Let's get you up on the table and have a look."
Edward limped over to the table and hoisted himself up.
"Take your clothes off and lie down on your stomach, please." Edward shed his bottoms under the sheet and lay on the table.
For the first time since he could remember, he felt a bit uncomfortable being naked and exposed in front of another woman. But Heidi wasn't just any ordinary woman. Edward had committed the cardinal sin of hooking up with her when he was with the Gwinnett Braves. He was going through a series of injuries, and she helped him through them—in more ways than one. They had a great time, but it was purely casual. She was older and wiser, giving him sage advice and encouragement when he needed it most. When he finally got healthy and was called up to the show, their time together waned, and Edward being Edward, he lost interest.
Heidi warmed her hands with some oil. She lowered the sheet down to the top of his buttocks and massaged Edward's back, working to relax him and his upper body. She worked down to his lower back and went under the sheet into his glutes, helping to loosen up the muscles that went into the back of his thigh. As Heidi was working him over, Edward unintentionally caught a glimpse down the front of her T-shirt. Being faced with Heidi's breasts was not what he needed at that moment. He stifled a moan, turning his head and steering his thoughts to Bella.
"You're tight. Relax and take some deep breaths," Heidi directed softly.
Edward took a deep breath, but he couldn't relax. Her hands felt too good. It had been a whole month since he'd been touched by Bella. Each rub, swirl, and knead of Heidi's hands reminded him of how much he missed his girl. He held back a whimper when she hit a tender spot in between his shoulder blades. Her touch sent mixed sensations throughout his body. At times, she felt like a familiar lover, knowing exactly where and how he liked to be touched. Other times, she worked his muscles like a pro, eliciting deep moans and groans as his body submitted to the punishing manipulation.
"It's been a long time since I've had you on my table," Heidi crooned in his ear.
"It has." He let out a satisfied groan as she hit another sensitive spot.
"I heard about your heel. Any lingering issues? Does it require any special attention?"
"Nuh-uh." Edward could barely speak as her hands continued to move.
"Edward, I'm going to pull the sheet off the right side of your glutes, okay?"
"Okay."
As her hands continued to roam over his body, he silently chided himself for getting involved with her. He knew her touch, so that wasn't helping his situation. She felt so good, he was starting to have a visceral reaction, along with a guilty conscience. Heidi's hands returned to his lower back, continuing to knead out the knots. She moved to his butt, using her elbows to dig in and help release the muscles that went into the hamstring. When she moved the sheet down onto his hamstring, he flinched.
"Am I hurting you?"
"No," he answered, his voice gruff. "I just got a chill." He felt like an idiot having to lie to her like that, but everything about that moment felt wrong to him.
"I'm gonna start working your hammy, so please don't hesitate to let me know how it feels. I've loosened you up some, so hopefully enough of the muscle has released and I can use the Thermogun to massage out the lactic acid and evaluate what the status is. Hopefully it's just a cramp or a strain. Sound good?"
"Yep." Edward took a deep breath, readying himself for what she was about to do and praying she would stay professional.
Heidi removed the sheet to expose his left hamstring and buttock. Her hands smoothed over the area carefully, inspecting, looking for inflammation and redness. She pushed a little harder, eliciting a quiet moan from Edward. As Heidi continued to probe, to determine if anything was torn, she moved up and down the back of his thigh. The tenderness of her fingers, the proximity and familiarity of her hands, made him tingle and ache with a need he had kept at bay for a month. He started to think of baseball stats to keep his mind focused and his body from reacting.
The moment of clarity happened when Heidi innocently, or not so innocently, swept her hand incredibly close to his balls. Everything in his body tensed. He felt his cock awaken and make itself proudly known. It all felt too good, but he didn't want it to feel good because of her. Embarrassed and ashamed, he gathered the sheet around him and shot up off the table.
"Thanks, Heidi. Feels better already," Edward stammered as he reached down to pick up his clothes.
Heidi was startled by his sudden actions. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm great. I just remembered I have a thing."
"Ummm…okay…please ice it off and on every thirty minutes today and tomorrow. You should stay off it for the next three days as a precaution. I'm gonna wrap it with a compression bandage. If it still feels bad after the third day, come back and see me. It appears to be a minor strain, but you don't want to aggravate it. Also, take some Ibuprofen as needed for pain and inflammation." Heidi eyed him cautiously, making sure he comprehended what she said. "I'll step out and you can get dressed."
As Heidi walked off, Edward quickly got dressed. He was glad no one was around to witness his ridiculous display. Heidi returned with the ACE bandage and wrapped his leg securely.
"Thanks, Heidi." He looked at her sheepishly.
"You're welcome. See you around? We could catch up?"
"Umm…sure. Sounds great," Edward responded. He felt confident that catching up with Heidi without her hands all over him would make for a better scenario.
~oOo~
A few days later, Edward was back on the field. He'd made a quick recovery and was ready to play. Heidi was right; it was a minor strain, much to Edward's and the coaches' relief. Spring training was ending in a few weeks, so the stress for the players was real. Everyone was upping their game and playing ball to the best of their ability, all to ensure themselves a place on the roster.
Garrett and Kate, along with his and Edward's closest friends, Sam, Ben, Alec, and Paul came down with their wives just as Edward got back on the field. Edward had rented a private plane to fly everyone down, sparing no expense. The gang was ready to catch some great baseball, along with spending time with Edward.
Edward was excited to see them. Hanging with his crew made him miss home less. There was only one person missing who could have made the weekend even more special—Bella.
Every evening the conversation flowed as easily as the drinks they poured. Though the guys had all chosen different paths in life, the loyalty and happiness they shared never waned. They were always each other's champions, whether it was on the ball field, in the boardroom, or in the studio. It felt good to marinate in the moment, everyone simply letting their hair down with no false pretenses. It had been a long time since the Saintly Six, as they had been named in high school, had been able to be together and just shoot the shit.
As the long weekend came to a close, Edward hired a chef for their last night. He wasn't a fussy man, but there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for the people he was closest to. Everyone just wanted to hang out, and this was the perfect ending to a long weekend well spent.
"I think the last time we were all together like this was New Year's Eve. Am I right?" Sam asked. "And it wasn't like this has been."
Edward pondered for a moment. "I think you're right. I know I've seen y'all off and on since then, but not like this."
"Yeah, we need to do things like this more often, especially in your offseason. I hate New Year's being the only time we're all together. We don't get to do…all this," Ben chimed in as he gestured his hand around the patio.
The guys readily agreed, already trying to plan the next get together. When the girls finally arrived, the cocktails continued to flow and appetizers were passed around while they waited for dinner to be served. As the evening progressed and dinner was finally in full swing, Kate decided to broach the subject everyone had been avoiding in the midst of all the conversations swirling around her.
"So, Edward, I've been meaning to ask you all weekend." A mischievous look glistened in Kate's eye. "How's Bella? How's her ankle?"
Edward stiffened, his back ramrod straight. He foolishly hoped not to bring attention to Bella during the weekend, and he was almost successful. He didn't want everyone nosing around in their business with their deal hanging in the balance. It made Edward uncomfortable discussing her at any length. He should've known Kate would poke around and ask questions.
"Ankle? What happened?" Angela queried. All eyes focused on Edward, waiting for an answer.
"She hurt it about three and half weeks back at practice. High ankle sprain. Someone tackled her from behind."
Everyone at the table collectively gasped or winced.
"How much longer will she be down?" Jane asked, concern clear on her face. Being a nurse, her instinctual empathy was immediate.
"She has to stay off of it for about two and a half more weeks. She's in a boot."
"Kate," Emily admonished. "You should've told us. We could've helped you out."
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Edward called me to help him pick out flowers, and of course, I had to cook her a few things. He wanted to keep it on the downlow, so I didn't rally the troops."
All eyes shifted to Edward. The women were "awwww-ing" at him as the guys gave Edward all-knowing grins.
"Good move, Cullen," Sam said as he clapped Edward on the back.
"Calm down, everyone. Let's not make a bigger deal out of it than it is. That's why I wanted to keep it quiet. Didn't want everyone fussing over it."
"He's pussy whipped," Garrett muttered, feigning a cough into his fist.
The guys shook with laughter as the women attempted to stifle theirs.
"Garrett, don't be crass," Kate admonished, glaring at him.
"Sorry, baby," Garrett replied before he sent a wink Edward's way.
Edward scrubbed a hand over his face, attempting to hide his smile. "Well, before I was so rudely interrupted"—Edward tilted his head Garrett's way—"I was going to remind y'all, I am, above all else, a gentleman."
"Is that what they call it these days, Edward?" Garrett wagged his eyebrows at him.
"Shut the fuck up. You know what I mean. Of course I'm gonna send her flowers. Your wife"—Edward pointed his finger toward Kate—"just happened to shower her with all the extras." Edward gave her an appreciative smile. "And I didn't want to overwhelm her. We can be a lot."
"More like a force to be reckoned with." Kate chuckled.
"So, how are y'all doing?" Angela asked. "Sounds like you're still seeing each other."
"We are. It's been…good. I really—"
"You really like her, like her, don't you?" Rachel gave Edward a look that pierced his soul. She knew. Hell, they all did. They weren't fools. He'd been stupid to think he could keep his complicated relationship with Bella to himself for this long. Once they met Bella on New Year's Eve, all bets were off.
Edward ruminated on how much he wanted to say. He didn't want them to read too much into his answer until he knew more about their situation.
"Yeah…I do. We're enjoying ourselves. Having a good time. We've kept it simple. It seems to work for us."
Rachel gushed. "Yeah, but there's something special about this one, Edward."
Edward just smiled like a cat that ate the canary and took a bite of dessert.
They had all taken to Bella at Garrett and Kate's New Year's Eve party. She continued to be the topic of conversation, with Edward answering all sorts of questions about her. He kept the answers simple and to the point, but he couldn't love this group more for wanting to know all about his girl. His girl…that thought gave him a warm feeling inside. A feeling he was getting more and more used to.
They all moved to the fire pit with their drinks as Paul pulled out his guitar and began to play. He'd been serenading them each night while they sat out under the stars. Paul played his original music as well as their favorites. His latest CD had finally gotten some traction, so they turned their focus to him, celebrating the evening with yet another success among the crew. Edward, relieved to have the attention off him, led a toast, congratulating their friend. The accolades always meant the most when it came from this group. The rest never truly held the same meaning.
The fire was still crackling as Edward and the guys continued to talk, cigars and drinks in hand. Earlier, the girls had excused themselves, leaving the guys to have a little time together before they parted in the morning. Paul continued to strum his guitar as the Saintly Six hooted and hollered late into the evening. When Edward saw the time, he knew, much to his chagrin, he needed to call it a night. Luckily, he had an evening game tomorrow night, but he still needed to be well rested.
The guys slowly peeled off to their respective bedrooms, leaving Edward and Garrett to extinguish the fire. They stared into the dying embers, poking the last bits of wood, waiting for the fire to go out.
Just as Edward was about to rise out of the chair, Garrett laid a hand on his arm and halted him.
"Hold on a sec, Edward. I know you need to get to bed…" Garrett shifted uncomfortably. "But I have something I need to tell you."
Edward sat up straighter, his worried brow wrinkling between his eyes. "Okay?"
"I'm not quite sure how to tell you this. I debated whether or not it was even a good idea, but I— Well, Katie and I decided you deserve to know." Garrett collected himself, gathering the courage to spit out the words.
"Gar, you're scaring me. Is everything okay? Are you and Katie—"
"Oh God no, nothing like that. We're fine. We're more than fine, actually."
Edward let out a staggered breath, but his hackles were still up. He waited patiently for Garrett to continue, bracing himself for whatever he had to say.
"Katie was out having lunch recently and ran into Emma." Garrett's words rushed out all at once.
"Gar…why the fuck are you bringing her up again? Can't we just bury—"
"She's getting married, Edward."
The words stopped him in his tracks. He sat still, waiting to see what those words did to him. His jaw clenched tightly as he anticipated some sort of reaction, but thankfully, nothing came.
"Why was she—"
"She was in Atlanta wedding dress shopping." Garrett watched as Edward digested the news. At Edward's nod, he continued. "Kate said she was very happy. She thought you would want to know."
Edward's thoughts ran wild wondering who it could be. She always had a fan club, so to speak. Numerous guys hung in the wings, waiting for Edward to fuck up. And well…they were right. He did fuck up.
"Did she say who?"
"Some guy named Tucker."
That fucking bastard, Edward thought to himself. He was constantly sniffing around Emma, hoping for an opportunity to swoop in. Edward always assumed when they broke up that Tucker would come in like a knight in shining armor, trying to save the day. Garrett's news just confirmed his suspicions.
"You okay, man?" Garrett asked, his sympathetic gaze locked with Edward's.
Edward carefully considered his question. He realized in that moment that yes, he was okay. He felt surprisingly okay with it. He wanted Emma to find happiness, to move on from him. She deserved it.
"I am," he breathed out. "Emma's a wonderful person. She deserves to find her own happiness."
Edward observed the relief on Garrett's face. He meant what he said. He literally had no reactions to this news except relief that she had found her happiness. He would no longer carry the burden of their failed relationship.
Garrett took a sip of his drink, assessing Edward's mood, comforted by the knowledge that this news brought Edward the peace he so desperately needed. He could finally forgive himself.
"She asked Katie to pass something along to you."
Edward's surprised expression met Garrett's gaze. "She did?"
"Mhmmm…she did. She wanted you to know that she's doing well, and that she's proud of you. She always knew you'd make it."
Edward's eyes stung at her words. Emma was always so selfless, so giving. The absolution of her words gave him an inner strength he didn't realize he needed. This was the confirmation he needed to move forward, to trust himself once again, and to learn from his mistakes. And this time it would be with Bella.
"She wants you to be happy, Edward. Kate said she was very sincere. She told Emma you were, without going into much detail," Garrett added quietly.
"Of course." Edward nodded.
They all knew that Edward's personal life was not theirs to share. Kate would never divulge anything without his express consent.
"I love you, man. You know that right?"
"I do." Edward's throat dipped with emotion. "I love you, too."
"Then I think this calls for a celebration." Garrett got up and walked into the house, only to return with shot glasses and a bottle of tequila.
The somber turn the evening had taken flipped back into high gear as he and Garrett took a couple of celebratory shots and dove into the pool, clothes and all. The brisk water shocked them somewhat sober, which was exactly what they needed. Edward felt free as he shot out of the water, reaching his arms toward the sky as a loud "Wahoo" escaped his lips. His head was lighter and the static in his mind had cleared. The news couldn't have come at a better time for him.
They pulled themselves out of the pool and sat on the edge. Garrett threw an arm over Edward's shoulder and tugged. With his mouth now obnoxiously close to Edward's ear, he asked, "So when are you going to lock it up, Cullen?"
Edward gave Garrett a confused look. "What the hell are you talking about, Swanson? Lock what up?"
"Bella."
Ugh, Edward thought, wishing Garrett wouldn't push the envelope about Bella. Since the moment he heard what Emma had to say, he hadn't been able to get Bella out of his mind. Although the cold water had sobered him up, Edward still felt the underlying effects of alcohol. It gave him the courage to say out loud to Garrett what he'd been afraid to admit all these months.
Edward sighed and his shoulders slumped. "I'm running out of reasons not to."
"I think you've been ready for a long time. I've seen it. Katie's seen it. Hell, we've all seen it. You deserve to be happy, Edward. I know what's been going on in your head. You need to stop holding yourself responsible for things that were out of your control."
Edward nodded, bowing his head to look at his feet in the water. He let out a gust of air. "I know. You're right. But I wasn't—"
"Stop. We go round and round on this. You were barely twenty years old, Edward. No one blames you. The pressure was off the charts. You had a lot of shit swirling around you all at the same time. Dude, even I was overwhelmed for you."
Edward raked a shaky hand through his hair. "Yeah, it was. I just wish I'd handled things better than I did."
"I know you do. You did the best you could under the circumstances. Listen, I loved Emma. You know that. But she wasn't the girl for you. She doesn't blame you. She's with who she should be with."
"Yeah. I really am happy for her." Edward paused, looking up to the sky, taking in the stars and the moon. "I feel like…like a weight's been lifted off my chest. All these fuckin' years, it's just sat right here, you know?" Edward placed his palm in the center of his sternum to rub at the ache he felt.
"I know, buddy. I know."
Edward cleared his throat and wiped the side of his eye with the back of his hand. He was so ready to put this officially behind him. Knowing Bella was on the other side of this morphed the sad ache in his chest to one of hope. He could see a future with Bella, something he had never seen with anyone since Emma.
A small smile turned the corners of Edward's mouth. New feelings coursed through his veins, taking over every new thought he had. All he could see was Bella. All thoughts of Emma and the conversation he'd just had with Garrett evaporated into the recesses of his mind.
"What's that grin for?"
"I've made a decision."
"And?" Garrett raised a questionable eyebrow.
"I'm gonna fuckin' lock it up."
An: So, Edward wants to "lock it up". What do we think? How do you think Bella will feel? Also, how are we feeling about Heidi?
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Wishing you a great two weeks until we meet again.
~Be Happy
~Be Kind
~Be Blessed
~DrivingEdward