An: Thank you so much for your patience waiting on this chapter. I am so sorry to have delayed posting, but I came back from London with a horrendous cold virus that is sweeping through the UK. I have been sick in bed for a week. With that said, I decided to post this chapter a day early to get it to you as a thanks for your patience.

A HUGE shout out to my prereaders and my Beta for this chapter. Without them, this would not be possible.

**Fiddling was had. All mistakes are mine.

Chapter 19

"Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop lookin' at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in
The way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me, it happens all the time"

"Need You Now" By Lady A

~oOo~

After Friday's game, Edward was wiped out. It had been a shit week. Everything that could have gone wrong had. His bat was cold, and he missed plays he should have made. All he wanted to do was grab some food from the clubhouse and take it to the condo. He wasn't in the mood to socialize or pregame for the luau like most of his teammates. He just didn't care.

Edward arrived at his townhouse just as the sun set. He settled on the patio overlooking the lagoon, eating his dinner as he watched the ibis and a blue heron search for theirs.

Searching. He could relate.

He'd been searching for answers to where things had gone wrong since his call with Bella. The sting of her rejection still lingered, and it messed with his head. Edward cut off contact with everyone, even ignoring phone calls from his parents and Garrett. He simply couldn't muster the strength for small talk, and he certainly didn't want his mother or Garrett asking him about Bella.

He went inside to grab a new bottle of bourbon and a tall tumbler filled with ice. Returning to the patio, Edward sighed as he popped open the bottle and poured himself a hefty drink. He could hear laughter and music in the distance, a sure sign that some of the players had begun to gather.

Edward felt a pang deep in his heart. He and Bella were supposed to be there…together. Jealousy ripped through him. He resented the fact that everyone had that special someone with them, and there he was, sitting like a pathetic tool having dinner with some fucking birds.

Edward lamented for the next hour, rehashing his conversation with Bella, trying to see where he'd gone wrong, what he'd said wrong. For the first time in a long while, he'd put himself out there, only to be shot down. Rationally, he knew Bella's feelings were valid, but damnit, so were his. He'd told her before he left she could have all the time she needed, and he had been sincere. Now, as he sat drowning his sorrows, Edward couldn't help but feel as though he'd fucked it up and ruined a good thing by trying to ask for more.

Then again, maybe Bella truly didn't want more.

All the time they spent together, he thought there was something more there. But Bella never showed a huge interest in making it more. The one time he put himself out there, she stomped all over his feelings. And in the days since they last spoke, Edward hadn't heard a word from her, which spoke volumes to him. Deep down he was wounded, and he refused to reach out this time. Edward Cullen would be damned if he was gonna chase a woman.

After finishing his second tumbler, he was feeling no pain. The liquor running through his veins gave him the courage to give Garrett a call, hoping he could talk Edward off the ledge and help him make sense of it all. Edward admitted he was being prideful, and Garrett would know just what to say to knock him off his pedestal and put him in his place.

As he walked back into the house to grab his phone from his bag, he heard someone knocking on the door.

A sense of dread washed over him as he shuffled to the door. He prayed it wasn't Jasper or Emmett. He didn't have it in him to argue about blowing them off yet again.

"I'm coming," Edward bellowed.

He swung open the door, coming face to face with someone he wasn't expecting.

"Well, I was hoping you wouldn't start without me. Should I go and leave you to it? Or do you want some company?"

"Heidi?" Edward questioned, flabbergasted.

"Are you gonna stand there all night just staring at me? Or are you gonna invite me in?"

Edward cleared his throat and opened the door wider, gesturing for her to walk through.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as she stepped inside.

"Well, I noticed you didn't show up for the pregaming out by the pool, so I thought I'd bring the party to you." Heidi pulled out a bottle of whisky from behind her back, waving it at Edward.

"Yeah, I'm not really good company tonight."

"You're looking pretty good to me, Cullen." Heidi patted his chest as she walked past him into the kitchen to look for glasses. "How 'bout we have one drink and see how you feel? Deal?"

The word deal struck an uncomfortable chord with Edward. He watched as she grabbed two glasses out of the cabinet. Only then did he hold up the tumbler of bourbon in his hand.

"Ahhh, I see you've started without me. Mind if I catch up? How many are you in?"

"This will be my third."

Heidi arched a brow at him. "My…you really aren't in the mood for company, are you? Care to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay, suit yourself." Heidi poured herself a drink and sat on the sofa. She patted the cushion beside her, inviting Edward to sit. "Come on, you know I don't bite unless you ask me to." She giggled.

Edward walked over to sit, realizing that aside from all the sexual innuendo she was throwing out, he liked Heidi. She was friendly, open, and easygoing. Tonight, she sounded as though she was coming out to play, but he had no inclination to join. They had a history, but it wasn't something he had a penchant to revisit.

They sat on the sofa and caught up. It'd been a while since they'd seen each other socially, but their chemistry and banter hadn't changed one bit. Edward was guarded when the evening began, but soon enough, Heidi's ability to put him at ease won out. They drank, laughed, and talked well into the evening, making Edward feel less blue.

Heidi was encroaching on Edward's space incrementally. A light brush of her hand here, a simple shift of her body there, and she was practically in his lap. Edward enjoyed the attention, or at least the liquor made him think he did. In his clouded mind, somebody wanted him. His inhibitions were low, and all he could do in the moment was bask in the attention the beautiful woman was giving him.

The more they talked, the closer they became. The flirty air of the evening brought them to a place Edward never anticipated.

"So, what had you all out of sorts tonight?" Heidi leaned in, raking her fingers through his hair.

Edward groaned as he felt her touch. It had been six long weeks since Bella had touched him. He didn't realize just how much he had grown used to her caress until he felt Heidi's fingers in his hair.

"Nothing."

Heidi continued to move her fingers in his hair as his head fell back onto the sofa. Edward's eyes closed, and his breathing became heavy as the alcohol took its full effect.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it? I'm a great listener, you know."

"I'm sure," he replied, his voice thick and gruff. He lifted his head off the sofa, giving her a pointed look. He wanted her to know it was not up for discussion.

"Well, then"—Heidi moved over Edward, straddling his lap—"I can think of some other things we can talk about to take your mind off whatever ails you."

"Heidi…"

"Hush. Let me do this for you. You're so tense."

Edward slid his hands up the sides of Heidi's thighs to her hips. She started to knead his neck and shoulders as she worked to get rid of the tension he'd been holding in his body. His groans became louder as she hit a particular knot, working it out and soothing him with her touch.

Edward's head was swimming with all the emotion Heidi was evoking in him. There she was, ready and willing, making him feel wanted. He didn't have to chase her, he kept telling himself, and he could do whatever he wanted. As far as he knew, the deal was still in place, and since Bella clearly still had reservations about them as a couple, his alcohol-addled mind couldn't find any reason to stop what he was feeling with Heidi.

Heidi continued to run her talented hands over his neck and shoulders. Edward could no longer ignore all the stimuli, and before he knew it, he was straining hard against his shorts.

"Hmmm…you like this, don't you, honey?" Heidi purred as she leaned in, her breath tickling his ear.

Edward glided his hands up the sides of her ribcage, continuing on a path over her shoulders. He skimmed his fingers around her slim neck as his thumbs grazed the sides of her face.

Heidi's eyes were filled with desire, desire for him, and he couldn't deny it felt good to be wanted. Edward inched his face closer until their foreheads touched, uncertainty filling him at every turn. Edward heard Bella's words echoing in his head.

Let's just stick to the deal for right now.

Rejection flared inside him as he struggled between what he knew he genuinely wanted and what his body wanted.

Heidi, sensing his hesitation, rolled her hips over him a few times, making sure he knew exactly what she was offering. Edward moaned, involuntarily moving his hips to meet hers. Without another thought, his body won out. He gripped her cheeks and tilted her face up to meet his lips. His mouth descended onto hers and he kissed her hard. His kisses were not gentle but punishing. Each taste, lick, and bite was more aggressive than the last. His hands started shaking as he moved them to her back, and he held her tighter than before.

His breaths came out in ragged pants, leading him to a dangerous edge, but not because he was turned on. Each swirl of their tongues, each breath they took together felt foreign. The body he held felt wrong. She tasted wrong, she kissed wrong, and fucking hell, she sounded wrong.

Heidi continued to grind into his lap, but he was no longer hard. She moved to unbutton his shorts, but Edward swiftly stopped her, grabbing her wrists and holding them away from his body.

"H-Hei…H-Heidi…st-stop."

Heidi paused, looking at Edward with surprise.

"What in the world? Are you okay? Oh my God, Edward, you look as white as a sheet. And you're sweating. Are you sick?"

Edward nudged Heidi off his lap. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, raking both hands through his hair. He took deep breaths as he tried to calm the pounding of his heart. Edward was embarrassed. He had a physical reaction he truly didn't want to have. All he wanted to do was get Heidi out of there and go to bed.

He noticed the couch move as she got up. Edward heard her in the kitchen, and then a glass of water appeared in front of his face.

"Here, drink this."

Edward took the glass and gulped it down, hoping the cold water would refresh him somehow. Heidi rubbed his back in soothing circles, trying to bring him some comfort. She had no idea the troubles that were running through Edward's head, and he was not about to share them, but Heidi could be very persuasive.

"Is that better?" The concern in her voice touched him.

"Yeah, thanks." The words stumbled out of his mouth. He looked up at Heidi, trying to give her a smile for reassurance, but all he could muster was a weak grin.

Feeling more in control, Edward sat back and rested his head against the sofa. Now the embarrassment and shame were setting in, and he wasn't sure how to handle himself or how to handle Heidi. He wanted her to leave so he could bury himself under some blankets. All he wanted to do was sleep the rest of the night away and forget it ever happened.

Heidi ran her fingers through Edward's hair, but he flinched at her touch. Once again, he stopped her from touching him.

"Heidi, please, just st—"

"What's going on, Edward? Have I done something wrong?"

Edward sighed, knowing he was going to have to give her an explanation. "You haven't

done a thing wrong. This is on me."

"Bullshit. Something's rotten in the state of Denmark, and I want to know what the hell it is."

Edward shook his head, knowing Heidi didn't take no for an answer well. "Listen, I just fucked up. Okay?"

Heidi shot him a quizzical look. But Edward could tell as she stared at him, she had pieced together what he wasn't telling her.

The moment her eyes lit up, Edward knew she'd figured it out. He hung his head, unable to meet her eyes as she asked the next question.

"It's a woman, isn't it?"

Edward winced at the question, but he knew she wouldn't let it go until he came clean.

"Yes," he rasped.

"Okay. Then why did you let me in?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Have you met yourself? You kinda barged in here, all raring to go."

"Yeah, I kinda did, didn't I?" She giggled. "I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't think I am. You look like somebody kicked your puppy. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Not with me, no? Or just no in general? 'Cause, seriously, honey, you look like you could use a friend."

"Heidi, please, just go. I feel bad enough as it is involving you in this. I'm…I'm sorry I kissed you and led you on. I didn't mean—"

"Shush." She put her finger on his lips, her eyes full of sincerity. "I was seriously all over you, giving you every signal about what I wanted to…well, what I hoped we would do. Seeing you the other day made me realize how much I've missed your company and missed the fun we used to have. But now…now it all makes sense."

Edward's brows furrowed.

Heidi continued. "The day I was massaging you for your hamstring, you were so jumpy. I couldn't figure out why. At first, I thought it was because you weren't happy to see me, but then, well, when you…" Heidi shrugged.

She knew, Edward admonished himself. She knew he had sported some wood. He was so ashamed that he could be affected so easily by another woman when he was in love with Bella.

Wait…in love? Was he in love with Bella? Fuck.

It was the only explanation for the pain he'd felt when she rejected him. If she'd merely been a distraction, a woman to pass the time with, he wouldn't have felt what he was feeling so strongly now. Damnit, that was why her rejection hurt so much. How could he not have seen it sooner?

Without her, he felt empty. No matter how upset he'd been after their conversation, he knew for damn sure he'd left his heart in Atlanta with her, but clearly she didn't understand the weight of his feelings.

How the fuck had he ended up here?

Tamping down his inner monologue he replied. "Yeah, about that. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to behave like an ass."

"You didn't, I promise. I just misread it. That's all. No harm, no foul." She smiled at him as she made herself more comfortable on the sofa. "So, tell me about her. Who finally captured the attention of the impenetrable Edward Cullen?"

"Heidi, I don't…I don't want to get into all this with you of all people."

"Of all people? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I consider you, above all else, a friend, Edward. If you can't see that for what it's worth, then I'm so—"

"No, I'm sorry. Please, just give me a minute to think."

Edward scrubbed his hands over his face. He was so frustrated. He felt like all he did was put his foot in his mouth lately. He wanted to have his wits about him, but being intoxicated was getting in the way.

"Edward, before you decide to shut me out, let me say something. You know I don't play games. I'm too old for that. You've been amazing to me. You've always been honest and respected me. I guess that's what made you so attractive. Especially for how young you are. I know whatever we had between us was never going to amount to anything, but we had fun, and…" Heidi sighed. "I felt like we became good friends. So, as your friend, let me help you like all the countless times you've helped me. I might be able to lend you a woman's perspective."

When Edward looked at her, he saw someone who he not only had a history with, but he also saw a friend. Someone who had been a sounding board and given him advice when he needed it. He knew once he uncorked the emotions he was feeling, he wouldn't be able to stop. The only person he was truly able to do that with was Garrett. So, for the second time in a week, Edward decided to take a gamble and spill his guts.

Once the floodgates opened, he couldn't stop. He told her how he and Bella met, the deal, Jacob. He held back on all the sordid details, and left Jacob's name out for privacy, but he gave her enough to understand the situation he was in. He felt liberated, yet he still grappled with all the feelings he didn't know what to do with.

Heidi listened, just as she promised. She never said a word as Edward poured his heart out to her, stupid mistakes and all. Once he finished, she took a deep breath and finally commented.

"First of all, thank you for trusting me. I know how hard it was for you to share all that with me. You have my word this stays between us."

Edward swallowed hard. "Thank you."

"Now, this is how I see it. All this bullshit about who's pursuing whom just doesn't matter. So, Edward Cullen has to work a bit harder. Poor baby," Heidi quipped. "Listen, first and foremost, you need to know Bella isn't trying to play games here, Edward. I don't need to know all the nitty gritty details to figure that out. This deal wasn't intended to be a game. It was a fortress. Protection. I can see it from a mile away. She's been hurt badly, and frankly, I don't blame her."

Edward appreciated her candor. He knew she was right. He was expecting too much.

"Now, just because you want this deal to end doesn't mean she's ready. And I know, I know what a big step it is for you to even want to move in that direction with a woman. Trust me." Heidi took his hand in hers, providing an anchor for her next words. "However, she's not blowing you off. She's fucking scared. You sound like you've done all the right things, honey. Let her wrap her mind around someone treating her the way she deserves to be treated. To share those kinds of intimate details with you, and I know you're privy to way more than you shared with me, you just don't share that with anyone. She's in love with you, Edward. There's no doubt about it. Just be patient."

Edward let her words sink in. For all he'd had to drink, her words were sobering. She was right. He was being an ass and putting way too much pressure on Bella, which was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

"Now, before you go too hard on yourself, like I know you do, just stop for a minute and think. Why do you want this deal to end? What's your end game, Edward? Because I don't think Bella's the type of girl who will take these walls down for just anyone. She's built this cool, sophisticated exterior not only for herself but also to keep losers like her ex from ever getting too close to her again. So, you better be ready with your A-game and tell her how you honestly feel. Because if you don't love her, and you hurt this girl…"

"I don't ever want to hurt her, Heidi," Edward whispered as vulnerability spilled out from every pore of his body. "I do…I'm in love with her."

"I know you are." Heidi smiled. "Tell her, Edward. Tell her."

An: Well, there you have it. We have the revelation we have all been waiting for. Don't hate on Edward. He's drunk and upset and he feels rejected. To be honest, he did way less than most men would have in this situation. Heidi ended up being a really good friend to him.

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this chapter, so please kindly leave me a review and tell me all the things.

The Eras Contest was a huge success. Thank you to all the readers and writers that made it happen. Our FB page has all the winners and links to the stories.

One winner, drotuno, has a new story called OZ. She is continuing it. Now that the contest is over, she asked me to preread it. It's fantastic. If you aren't reading it already, you must.

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Wishing you a wonderful two weeks until we meet again.

~Be Happy

~Be Kind

~Be Blessed

~DrivingEdward