A splitting headache woke him. He stirred—sickness blasted through him, and he barely had time to rush to the bathroom.

What an idiot, he thought, kneeling in front of the toilet. I've got to keep a clear head…. I let them get to me….

I can't be found in a compromising position. Can't be incapacitated like this.

He stumbled back to the couch, finding an empty wine bottle beneath the coffee table.

At least there's no more wine….

He lay on the couch and yielded to the soothing sounds of the screen. But after about half an hour, it began pinging insistently.

He groaned. He was hungry, but at the same time, he couldn't imagine eating.

He seemed to remember something about being required to attend breakfast today….

I'm not going. They'll have to drag me.

To his surprise, his door didn't open. For once he was happy to be locked in this small space, though he couldn't start thinking of it too closely or the panic would build and make him feel sicker. To distract himself, he watched TV. Thankfully, there were other channels besides the Elena channel, which apparently was on 24/7 with revolving announcements. There was a woodworking channel, and Jason watched that for a while, trying to forget how it was a reminder of the outside world.

The beautiful one…

My love….

His heart wrenched with pain, and he turned the channel, numbing his heart with the rough, gaudy spectacle of wrestling.

His sickness gradually dissipated, and his headache receded, not so unbearable, though it still throbbed at his temple.

He was immersed in a cooking show when the door swung open. He jumped, scrambled back on instinct.

Then forced himself to stay rooted. Don't let them see my fear.

The shocks, hangover, and PTSD sure don't help with that…

Elena.

His heart collapsed.

She stepped into the room and the door closed, the guards entering behind her, one carrying a covered silver platter, one carrying a brown paper package.

She wore a blue shirt that matched her eyes and a frilly black skirt that fell just past her knees. The wraparound shirt somehow disguised her condition somewhat, making the pregnancy seem less prominent.

"Good morning, Jason," she said cheerily. "I trust you slept well?" Her eyes twinkled, examining him subtly, taking in the bottle on the floor. His face heated. Anger flared through him at her for intruding. Then she looked at him with a more open critical gaze. "We'll have to remedy this. You've been stewing in those old clothes too long." She gestured to the guard with the package, and he stepped forward, unwrapped the paper bag, and drew out some immaculately folded clothes. He set them on the chair beside the couch. She motioned the other guard forward and she laid the platter on the coffee table. An enticing smell wafted from it.

"I bet you're excited to get out of those clothes," said Elena.

Jason shook his head.

She laughed and said, "I mean after your shower. I'm sure you wouldn't like to get dressed in new clothes when your body was still dirty. It's been several days; you're probably aching to feel clean. I've got another gift for you."

The guard took out an electric shaver and laid it on the chair beside the clothes.

"You must behave with it, not take it apart or anything, or we'll take away this privilege. You'd still have to shave, of course, but someone would have to do it for you."

He detested the idea of one of these people shaving him. "Why do I have to shave at all?"

"Because I require it." She ordered the guards to check Jason's room. They came back and reported to her in whispers.

"Ah," she said, nodding. The guards strode out the door, leaving Jason alone with Elena.

"They're going to restock your supplies," she said, sitting on the couch. She patted the area to her right. "Please join me for lunch."

His heart lurched. He was in no mood for company, especially hers. He shook his head.

"I bet you're hungry." She picked up the oval cover and revealed two plates with steak, potatoes, and asparagus. It looked much better quality than the cafeteria food. And now that his hangover was dissipating, his stomach ached with hunger.

"Not really." His stomach growled, betraying him.

She laughed. "You do know that skipping meals is not an option. I allowed you to stay in this morning because you needed some…recovery time, and it would have been futile to try to get some food in you then."

So… it was true. Of course, it wasn't surprising, but he had had some sort of foolish hope they didn't have a camera in here. So much so he hadn't looked for one. But of course, it was good to know just in case he said or did something incriminating. Now…there was nowhere private. He doubted they'd refrained from putting cameras in the showers or bathrooms.

"I'd rather eat in the cafeteria."

She frowned. "Wouldn't you rather eat this than cafeteria food?"

He couldn't lie this time; it would be even more obvious. "I'd rather not eat with you."

Her eyes flashed. Then she smirked. "I suppose I can't expect you to love my company at this stage. But it's either eat with me, or not at all. If you refuse to eat, the guards will come in and punish you."

He wanted to resist, but he had to choose his battles. He needed to keep his strength up, and he also needed to get intel from Elena. So as much as he'd rather not see her again, it was best for his mission if he shut down those personal feelings.

Reluctantly, he sat on the couch, as far from her as he could.

She reached for the platter and set it between them, as if she'd planned for the gap created by his resistance. She took a fork and knife and cut the steak, then slid it into her mouth, closing her eyes. "Mm. You've got to try this."

Jason cut a piece of steak, acutely aware of the serrated knife in his hand. It pressed into his palm, impressing on his heart the urge to use it, heedless of any consequences. Cut off the head of the snake. Of course, it probably wouldn't be so clean… this whole place was a machine… but perhaps it would begin to grind to a halt… his life might be forfeit but—

"Ooh!" she said, her hand jumping to her belly.

His heart lurched and he felt sick. No—there's a tiny being inside her, totally innocent. Waiting for the world.

He slid the steak into his mouth, though he barely tasted it.

"He sure is kicking!" said Elena.

"Does he have a name yet?" The one possible topic that had a relatively positive direction.

"I'm waiting till he's born. See if he lives up to my expectations. I've thought of several names."

"Maybe you should give Elliot a chance to name him."

She narrowed her eyes. "Perhaps I'll let him name the child if it's a slave.

"What do you think of River?"

"For what?" he said around a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

"For a name, of course."

"I don't know, sounds kind of…."

"Yeah, it's not strong enough. Though rivers are very strong…. What about Royal?"

"It's nice, but kind of…."

"Obvious, yes. Something that combines strength and royalty…."

"Roderick."

She stopped short, looked at him sharply. Then she laughed. "Yes, I could name him that… There have been far too many royal Rodericks, though."

"Only two."

"Two too many. Imagine if Von Warberg had still been in control! How I would have thrived in his court. Ah, well. I'm the Queen of my realm. Completely in control." Her eyes gleamed fanatically. Then she looked at him, her eyes grazing him. "Though it is rather exciting to have an element inside of it which doesn't bow to my every command. A wild heart." She pressed a hand to his chest.

Shock slammed into him. Then he turned away, grasping her wrist, and pulling it away from him.

"If I wasn't being generous with your adjustment, a shock would've laid you back on the couch," she said. "As it is, I'll give you a chance to cooperate. I'll show you what you'll have if you come fully to our side. And I'll show you hints of what happens if you refuse."

"So this is one of those bribes?"

"If you choose to think of it that way. It's simply a privilege of your being a potential Admin. I also felt like it would be nice to share a meal together. It is good, isn't it."

He took another bite of the steak. It was amazing. It melted in your mouth, just the right amount of done. Not quite medium rare, enough to still be tender. And whatever sauce they'd used…. The tang was perfect. Still, some of the flavor was leeched out of it with Elena's presence.

"We have the best chefs. You should come and see what it's like upstairs. You only saw a glimpse of it—the personal quarters and offices. There's a whole other wing, much more spectacular than the few rooms you have downstairs. We've got champagne constantly on ice, we've got swimming pools, we've got endless entertainment, we've got tigers, we've got a gold room—"

"What's a gold room?"

"You can literally swim in gold."

"No thank you."

"I can't believe you'd rather live here than in luxury."

"I'd rather not live here, but if there's only two choices…."

"Once you come up and see what it's like, maybe you'll change your mind."

"It's built on the backs of slaves. Besides, I don't think I'd like some of the entertainment you offer."

"There're all kinds. We've got Admins, guards, even breakers, who don't like to keep slaves. We can fulfill every conceivable desire."

"It doesn't tempt me."

She smiled. "We'll see. I have a lot to offer as well." She caressed his cheek, gliding over the stubble on his jaw.

"Never."

"You used to find me beautiful."

"That's before I knew what you were."

"So, just because I was on the other side, all of your feelings died?"

"What do you think? You're still beautiful, but it's the cold beauty of a killer. It's not attractive. Even if I were still attracted to you, I would never betray the one I love."

"Ah, yes, that girl. Perhaps she'll turn into something—it's true that you did. You weren't done cooking back then. You were cute, a fun plaything, but nothing I would have attached myself to long term. Now—you've ripened into something astonishing." She slid some of his hair back. "Such exquisite beauty… even more breathtaking up close. I thought I might be disappointed, but it's only increased my admiration."

"You'll never possess me."

"You don't know what you're missing. I don't know how that girl can please you. She's vanilla. I've even given gay men and straight women the nights of their lives. The things I would do to you—tailored to your desires…" She rubbed his thigh.

He leaped up, not believing what was happening. "Leave."

She shrugged. "I'll stay as long as I like." She stabbed a piece of asparagus with her fork.

He paced around the kitchen, trying to ignore her. She spoke, but he only heard muffled murmurings.

Unpleasant heat covered his skin. How she'd looked possessively at him. How she…might become impatient and not take no for an answer.

If she wanted him… she felt entitled to him—

No. That won't happen. If it did, it would mean that I had betrayed Connie. I'll fight to the death if necessary. I don't quite see how she can really force me… although…it's happened to others….

A shudder ran through him. He leaned against the cool door of the refrigerator, shutting everything out.

He was startled by a hand reaching to push him out of the way. A guard opened the fridge and set a few items in it. Some cheese, cream cheese… a bottle of white wine.

His stomach plummeted. If I didn't have the temptation, it would be a lot easier to resist….

"I hope you enjoy it," said Elena, hefting herself to her feet. "Another of our vintages. We have a wine business as well, although it's much more modest compared to our other enterprises." She took out two small containers from her pockets. "Here's a parting gift." She headed for the door. Then glanced back. "Oh, and Jason—there are more than two choices. If you continue your recalcitrance, you will end up in the basement. Where the only music is screaming."

Shaken by her visit, he sat down in the chair instead of the couch, because now it was tainted. On the coffee table stood the gifts—a bottle of aspirin and a container of salve. He resisted the urge to grab the salve; his chest still hurt from two days ago, although it had gotten better. A few of his other injuries throbbed dully, especially his shoulder, since yesterday he'd fallen hard on the floor with the shock.

The screen pinged. An order came with Tamara's voice to head to the showers.

He hated the idea of it. But he did want to be clean. And they would probably punish him if he didn't….

He stood, picked up the clothes he'd been sitting on, and headed out the door.

The showers were to the left of the cafeteria. Inside, he was handed a towel, and, blocking out the naked and half-naked bodies in the open showers, he headed to one of the stalls.

Locking the door behind him, he took a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Steam rose up all around; it was stifling hot, and the tiled floor was slick with water. He washed quickly, admitting it did feel good. The shower pressure wasn't too bad, and the water was lukewarm, bearable.

He dried himself off and then slid the clothes on; they stuck slightly on his damp skin. The underwear was nice comfortable cotton; the shirt was silken green, and the pants were black stretchy jeans, though they were a little too snug. It was only as he headed out and glimpsed several others stepping out of the shower stalls that he realized he wasn't wearing the general slave uniform.

Another bribe.

It made him feel sick.

But he couldn't put on his other clothes even if he'd wanted to—somehow, they'd disappeared from the wooden bench outside his stall. He put on his shoes, grateful to still have something from the outside world.

Then he meandered through the obstacle course of bodies. Just as he was about to step into the entryway of the showers, a hand darted out and grabbed his arm.

He whirled around, ready to fight, although he felt he'd probably slip on the floor if he followed through.

"Sorry," said the woman, darting her hand away. She was young, maybe twenty-five, her braided black hair dyed green at the tips. "I just wanted to say—thanks for what you did for Marie yesterday. It was foolish—but brave."

"I…didn't know about the shocks."

"All the same—going up against a guard!" Her eyes shone with wonder.

"I couldn't stand the thought of…"

She dropped her eyes. Then looked back at him, her warm brown eyes shimmering. "I'm Sahara, by the way."

"I'm Jason. Nice to meet you."

She held out her hand and he took it. Her hand was warm, her grip strong.

Then she headed toward the showers. Gave a little wave. "I'll see you around!" Her towel dropped and he whipped around so he wouldn't see her.

The man who was entering looked amused. "At least we can look, if they forbid anything else."

"I belong to only one."

The man looked him up and down. "You sure do." He began undressing and Jason scuttled out of there.

Only after he got in the hallway did the man's words sink in.

That's why he'd been given the clothes.

Like the food, it was more than just a bribe.

He didn't want to think about it.

He dashed back to his room, only a sliver of him wondering how much he'd already changed, so he saw the room as a refuge rather than a prison cell.

When the call for recreation time came, he felt like staying inside. But he figured he should explore the rest of this place as soon as possible. He still didn't know what was on the other side of the Cathedral. He hefted himself from the couch, a thread of excitement thrumming through him, just enough to escape the inertia dragging at him.

He peeked into Elliot's room. Elliot was sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Would you like to come with?"

"Where are you going?"

"Just exploring."

"I've seen enough of this place."

"It's probably good for you to get some exercise."

"I don't know what I need it for."

"It'll make you feel better."

He seemed to consider for a moment. Then his eyes flickered guardedly, and he stood.

His hair looked slightly damp, as if from the shower. He must've gone there at the last minute. And his face was freshly shaven.

Elliot trudged out into the hallway, his shoulders sagging as if he was dragging himself against his will. But as soon as he saw Tim and Alelu emerging from their room, a few doors down, he brightened, a spark of happiness in his eyes. "Hi," said Elliot, crouching down.

"Hi!" said Tim.

To his surprise, Alelu hugged Elliot, squeezing him hard, relief on her face. He held her hand as they walked down the hallway.

Out into the Cathedral, Jason breathed in the rush of fresh, fragrant air. The symphony of the birds and waters soothed his soul.

Over by the fountain on the right, Sahara was talking to another woman with sleek black hair bound back elaborately. Jason headed over to them, shoving aside his misgivings after the showers. He needed all the allies he could get.

"Hey," said Sahara. She wore a red V-neck shirt and jeans. "I see you've got some perks, too." She tugged lightly at the front of her shirt. "Yours are premium, though." Her eyes flickered, troubled.

He guessed what she was implying—what he'd realized before. He felt like tearing these clothes off, but that would be counterproductive.

"This is Kara." Sahara introduced the young Asian woman with a cheery face, only hints of sorrow in the depths of her eyes, and gray hairs that should not be there.

"Hi," said Kara. "Hi, Tim. Ally."

Sahara introduced Jason to Kara, then said, "This is Elliot. Right?" She looked at him.

Elliot nodded.

"Nice to meet you," said Kara. "You are new here?"

Elliot's breath caught. He shook his head. "Well," he said, in a hoarse voice, "I… I'm new down here."

Kara's eyes welled up with sorrow. "Oh, I—didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"I know what that's like," said Sahara, sympathy in her eyes. "At least now… Well… it could be worse."

Elliot paled, but nodded, seeming to recognize they were on his side. "She's…been leaving me alone mostly since."

"That's good. As long as you don't get cut adrift totally… you'll have to find a new master or get out."

Tim looked up. "You mean—if you don't have a master anymore, you get freed?"

Sahara shook her head. "No—no. You're sent to the experimentation room. Or…they just… give you to guards to…well. You don't survive."

"I never saw you—upstairs," said Elliot.

"Oh, I was up there a while ago. I'm glad Rave took a fancy to me or…. Dansk totally cut me off. I was bound for the slaughter. Rave snatched me from the jaws of death. Kara—I'm so glad you have a fail-safe. When…"

Kara shuddered and Sahara went silent. Then Kara nodded. "At least…I know where I'll be going. It's a good place, as here goes. Only…." Horrible sorrow wracked her face. Jason knew what that kind of sorrow came from. Being cut off from someone you loved.

"Maybe…. " Some sort of secret words hung between them.

Kara shrugged. "Maybe. I can't count on anything. At least there…they mostly leave you alone except…after you've recovered significantly enough. I'll be okay. I just hope—"

"The ones who are beautiful, they have a promising career."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Maybe…she'll change her mind—"

Kara made a slicing motion with her hand and Sahara nodded with understanding and spoke no more about it.

"So, looks like you're on an expedition," said Sahara.

"You're an astute observer," said Jason.

"I've been called that." She winked. "Mind if I tag along?"

"Sure, come with."

"Kara?"

She shook her head. "Maybe another time."

They headed down the hallway. The first room was the library, and it smelled like old books. Another room to immerse in. All the books were second-hand, and some were almost falling apart, but he adored all of them. He could occupy his mind with them.

Sahara showed them how to check out a book at the auto scanner near the door. Jason bookmarked his mind to borrow one on the way back.

The next room, a little further down, was a common room. Random chairs and tables were scattered around, and there were televisions and board games and puzzles. The back wall had a giant screen.

There was a recreation room, with foosball and even basketball. Jason's heart leapt. A way to use my energy.

Then it hit him. I'm excited about being here.

I can't be.

But… I have to survive. Have to forget, in order to forge forward….

There was a movie room on the other side and people were watching Aladdin. They lost Tim there, because it was one of his favorite movies, but Alelu continued with them, her hand holding Elliot's tightly.

The hallway became darker and the walls blank, no more doors except for one at the furthest end before the hall diverged into three passageways. It said, "Entertainment room."

Jason reached for the doorknob, but Sahara grabbed his wrist. "You don't want to go in there."

The girl yesterday, Marie, had been dragged to the entertainment room….

He laid his hand on the wall for support, feeling remnants of the screams inside of it…. The walls awash with blood…

As soon as he could, he yanked his hand away from it and they continued.

The door at the end of the hallway said, Authorized Personnel Only. So did the door on the left. The right, though, continued.

"Technically," said Sahara, "we can go down there. But it's discouraged. You could get shocked. You might not. It all depends on their whim."

"Why?"

"It's the nursery. And the harem."

"I thought…that's what this is."

She pursed her lips. "No, this is for slaves of the Admins. The harem is relatively new. They're breeding exclusively for slaves there—and they take the most beautiful people. It's a posh place. But… I don't envy them. The women are basically receptacles for babies. You don't have a choice. Here, no one gets pregnant. The monitors trigger if anyone even thinks about sex. Well—almost. For men there, it's a little easier. You can just donate if you want. A lot of times they use men from outside…. But you…" She looked at Elliot. "I'd say you're…the kind of 'material' they're looking for."

Elliot turned away, pale.

"Sorry. I… basically have no shame anymore. I don't know what hurts and what doesn't."

Jason whispered, making sure Elliot couldn't hear, "He was Elena's. She…is carrying his child."

"Oh. Oh." Infinite sympathy filled her face. "She's…not easy on her acquisitions. Still…if the baby turns out well, she might keep him on."

Elliot was wandering aimlessly near the door on the other side, Alelu tagging along, looking concerned. Jason walked cautiously over to them.

"Elliot, are you alright?"

"It's good that I'm away from her. Still—she won't leave me. And I don't want her to…."

"The baby."

He nodded.

"Maybe…we can get him out."

He looked horrified then Jason clarified, "I mean… from here—"

Elliot looked stunned for a moment, terrified, then a flicker of hope sparked in his eyes.

He crouched down, giving Alelu a light hug. "We can't leave Ally."

"We won't."

"Someone's coming," said Sahara. "We'd better get out of here."

Footsteps, a squeal of a cart's wheels. They jogged carefully back down the hallway.

"Do you know what's in those other wings?" Jason asked.

"One's drugs, one's weapons. The only way we go down there is if they…do experiments on us." Her face fell. "I knew someone…. A couple people. But he… I—saw him when they were trying to save him. His…skin was almost…burnt off…." A tear escaped and slid down her cheek.

"I'm sorry."

She stopped. Leaned against the wall for support. "I loved him, you know." She looked at him. "Love is possible in this place." Her eyes fell. "But in the end, they tear your heart out. All that's left is…." She shrugged. "Shreds of memories…. You can't think of or you—" She swallowed, misery tracing her features, an invisible weight collapsing her.

"Sahara…."

He reached out for her. Touched her shoulder.

She glanced at him, tears in her eyes. "I'm okay. I have to be."

Sahara left for the Cathedral while Jason went into the library with Elliot and Alelu. Jason flipped through the books, trying to find ones he'd like, but mainly he wanted familiar ones.

Til We Have Faces.

He'd read it several times, but for some reason it resonated in his heart, and he snatched it up. He also took a history book and an adventure paperback.

Elliot picked out children's books with Alelu. Jason wondered how they could be so close when Elliot hadn't been downstairs long yet. It meant…Alelu had probably been upstairs….

They came out with a bundle of four books—that was the limit. Elliot didn't have a book for himself, but he promised to read to Alelu.

While Elliot went to Alelu's room, Jason sat in a corner of the Cathedral beneath one of the palms and the winding vines. He prayed for each of the people he'd met so far, and for those he hadn't. A desire rose up in his soul to have the communion of church, and realized he'd missed church this week, because of the crisis. We could have a church here….

Hey, that's a great idea! Give people some hope.

We need to immerse in the light, because they try to take it away from us….

They might forbid it but… at least I can speak to them of a love neverending….

The call for supper echoed through the room and, reluctantly, Jason rose, touching one of the drooping blue flowers as he passed.

Just as he walked into the cafeteria, several guards stopped him.

They forced him out of the room and down the hallway. He hoped they wouldn't punish him for not eating supper, even if it was their fault. Even worse would be if they were taking him to Elena's.

Confirming his suspicions, they carried him upstairs. His heart pounded with dread.