Note: Guys, I'll be away next week. So, if I don't update it's because of that, but I'll try to take a few minutes to do it.
Hope you enjoy this one.
(…)
December 9th, 2005
Hermione's house
Harry's taking a shower and, still fully dressed, she's lying on her bed, looking at the ceiling. They just got back from their run and she's waiting for him to finish in order for her to take her own. She thought about joining him, but her thoughts got a hold of her.
She sighs.
This little routine they created for them since the day she interrogated him is… amazing. Mundane. Extraordinary. Special. Domestic. Safe. Peaceful. Joyful.
Working all day and then having dinner, sex and sleeping together - things she took for granted before - are everything.
Tonight they even met earlier and went for a run, which was nice. Fun. She made sure no one would see them.
Hermione closes her eyes.
I'm in love with him.
There's no doubt left.
She knows because her heart aches when she thinks about the day Asmo will be back.
She knows because Hermione never slept better in her entire life. Also because she smiles when she sees Harry. Her heart stops. And then it beats as fast as ever. Her insides twist.
She knows because his scent - something kind of minty and woody - is her favorite smell in the whole world. She knows because his laugh fills her with joy and his touch gives her a new desire to live. She feels safe in his arms. She belongs.
She knows because she never felt so entirely wrecked with the fact that she can't have children and she constantly thinks about that little boy she saw in the Mirror. And her heart hurts to imagine what a great father Harry will be.
She knows because the jealousy is latent and she never felt jealous of something or someone she didn't consider hers.
She knows because the notion that he isn't hers is capable of taking her breath away.
Hermione doesn't know how he feels, though. Not exactly. But she can tell that his touches changed. There's a new kind of admiration in his eyes when he looks at her. His words are softer.
She sighs, shaking her head.
It won't do any good thinking about this. It won't change the reality of things, won't change that he's a Potter and that Hermione-
He comes out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist.
They smile when their eyes meet.
"Hey. Thought you were going to join me." He says with that sexy smile that she completely loves.
"Nah. We take way too long in the shower when we're together." She winks at him and he chuckles. Hermione gulps, she also loves this chuckle. Manly and deep.
"Indeed." Harry searches for his underwear inside the backpack he brings to her place every night. And when he takes his towel off to put his boxers on, he wiggles his eyebrows to Hermione, showing off in his nakedness.
She laughs loudly, shaking her head. He keeps smiling while he puts on a t-shirt and comes to her. Harry hovers above her, kissing her neck.
"I'm all dirty." She says, closing her eyes at the touch of his lips.
"Hmmm." He bites her neck and she feels it in her core. Then he playfully sniffs her. "Ew. You stink."
She slaps his shoulder, both smiling. And Hermione runs a hand through his hair - this amazing thick hair that she's in love with - holding on to him, her eyes on his.
I'm in love with you. Madly in love.
He tilts his head.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She whispers. Everything. "I'm just a bit tired."
He narrows his eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah." She kisses him, slowly.
Harry embraces her, letting his weight fall on her fully. She sighs against his mouth. She loves his weight on her. She loves to feel him there, his presence.
It's a long kiss. A proper and diligent kiss. The kind of kiss they're the best at. Because it feels like an intimate conversation between them. A way of reassuring the other, of being there, taking care of the other. And also the perfect way to turn them on.
But Hermione pulls back. Her mind is just too full right now.
Harry frowns, touching his forehead on hers. "Are you worried because you pulled the files?" He asks gently.
"A bit." She did it yesterday.
"It will be fine." He kisses the corner of her mouth, his hips bucking into hers slowly.
"It will. I can deal with my father."
He kisses her jaw, his hips still moving.
"You can count on me for whatever you need, you know that, don't you?" He asks, his eyes on hers now.
She wished he was a total jerk. An utter asshole. Evil and selfish. Crazy. A pig of a man. A man she would have no problem with sending to death.
"I'll-" Hermione moves, intending on getting up and Harry makes a face, moving away. "I'll just take a shower."
She can see that he's confused by her action but he nods, respecting her. Hermione closes the bathroom's door behind her.
She's already crying when she turns on the water. And she lets it wash away the sadness, the certainty that they can't be. But there's no other way. She'll just keep pretending that they only share mind blowing sex and are investigating together. Nothing more.
Nothing more.
But she's lying to herself. They've been sleeping together for days. Holding each other, sharing caresses, staring into each other's eyes for hours, talking about everything and nothing. This is already more. Way more.
She grunts, turning off the water and taking a deep breath. I just need to keep denying. Push him away if necessary.
This feeling will go away. It has to… mostly because she knows that Harry wouldn't-
He's never going to love a Riddle.
She presses her lips together and dries her hair magically, tying it up in a bun. A voice inside her head tells her that he didn't need to be there right now if he didn't want to. Of course he wants her help in investigating the Aurors, but they could do it without sharing all this intimacy, without getting this fucking close.
Hermione exhales deeply, frustrated. If she lets her feelings take over, this will turn out to be a disaster. She looks at herself in the mirror. Maybe I should tell him to go. The sooner she breaks this connection between them, the easier it will be when the time to… turn him in to her father comes.
She wants to scream at the notion. Because that's what's going to happen. The binding obedience forces her to. Her father conceded the time she deemed necessary… but she already knows two secrets that can easily end Harry, and the old magic that her father used to seal this contract between them knows them too. The invisible mark behind her ear stings constantly.
It's a mess because she can't hold on to this much longer, the longer she waits to tell her father, the greater the price she's paying. This old magic takes a toll on her, on her very vital force. It's a fucked up kind of magic and contract. And if she dares not fulfilling it…
It will kill her.
Slowly and painfully.
Because it will strip her from her magic, turn her into a Muggle and then… she'll have all kinds of diseases, succumbing to them. It might take years or days. It's unclear.
The first time she actually tried defying this binding obedience was not so long ago. It was when her father made her investigate the Longbottoms and find concrete proofs that they had the potential to be traitors. Hermione knew this would ruin Sally and Neville's relationship, so, she really tried resisting the contract.
She got so sick. It was terrible. She barely could perform spells at one point.
And then her father appeared inside her house and told her what was happening. It shook Hermione to the bone. The realization that her own father would do that to her. That he's capable of anything to make sure that she won't betray him.
She remembers crying for days.
He gave her an extension on the deadline then and she went through with it, knowing that Tom Riddle would let his own daughter die if she defied him.
Her friendship with Sally ended. Things got real tense between her and all her friends because the Longbottoms were practically shun from society. Sirius and Eleonora - a couple that she fully respects and loves - could barely look at her after that. This was brutal.
And even so, Hermione kept the binding obedience a secret, something none of them even imagine. Only her mother knows.
But, with time, things got back to normal, except her friendship with Sally. Which sucks. They were real good friends.
Even so, now, with Harry, since she doesn't have a set deadline, she'll try to stall as much as possible. Mostly because she needs to find a way of satisfying her father and saving Harry in the process.
She raises an eyebrow. How the fuck am I going to do that?
Hermione wonders if she's not setting herself up for the impossible while she exits the bathroom, naked. Harry is not inside her bedroom and she frowns. Maybe he's already downstairs eating or preparing something for them.
Sighing, she enters her closet and stops.
Harry is there, sitting on the armchair, his eyes on her. He looks serious. "Hey." Hermione says, going to her underwear drawer. "Why are you sitting here in the dark?" She turns on the light. He's not wearing his t-shirt anymore, only his boxers, and she tilts her head at his silence. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, was just thinking a bit."
"Is that why the room smells?" She jokes and he laughs.
Hermione gives her back to him, smiling, searching for what to wear. Now would be the perfect moment to tell him to go. But she can't bring herself to do it. The thought of sending him away hurts and saddens her. And soon Asmo will be back and this will be over, so, why not enjoy a few more days?
Suddenly she feels him close, then his arms wrap around her. Hermione melts. His touch is so comforting and sure. Harry kisses her neck, his strong body on her back, his hands squeezing her flesh. "What's troubling you?" He asks again. She closes her eyes. Is it possible to hide things from him?
His teeth rake her skin, his tongue, hot, she moans softly. His hands are traveling her body, making a map of her curves and imperfections. "Nothing, Harry." She whispers. One of his hands come up her stomach, squeezing her breast and then cupping her cheek, turning her head to his.
Their eyes meet. "I'll make you feel better." He says in a deep voice and she feels it in her core, a wave of pure pleasure going through her.
"Yeah?" She asks, their lips meeting in a provocative kiss.
She's very aware of all his body, of his mouth and touches. Harry squeezes her thigh, her ass, his fingers tauting her, building up the expectation of what's to come.
He pretends that he'll touch her where she wants, but he never does and after a while, she groans, impatient. She can tell that he's smiling at her reaction. She tries reaching his cock, her hand moving, but Harry stops her.
"No." He says, holding her hand. Hermione blinks a few times. "This is for you."
She truly wants to scream. He's too much. It's unbelievable how he knows what she's feeling, or how bad she needs this.
Harry takes a step back and brings her with him, Hermione goes, their hands together. He sits on the armchair again and she squints, not sure- "Sit on my lap." His tone is very bossy. "Facing the mirror." She turns her head to look. Indeed the armchair is in front of the full body mirror.
She wets her lips and obeys. Hermione closes her eyes. He's very hard and she can feel it, but Harry is ignoring his own desire right now.
With his own legs under hers, he spreads hers wide open, exposing herself completely.
Opening her eyes, she meets his in the mirror. She's aching for him. For his touch. "Touch yourself." He says in her ear, bitting her neck gently. His hands are resting at the sides, not close to her.
He's just watching.
And Hermione obliges.
She begins touching her breasts, her nipples are hard and sensitive, and she pinches them, rocking her hips on his lap. She can see him pressing his lips together, controlling himself. One of her hands moves south, reaching her sex. Hermione massages her clit. She's so wet. She wants to tease him, but she also needs this release.
She keeps massaging her clit, her fingers occasionally sliding to her entrance. She knows herself pretty well, so she avoids what she's sure will send her to the edge in a blink. Harry is breathing hard, his hands squeezing the armrest. She leans back on him, rocking her hips, her fingers entering her. She lets out a small sound of satisfaction.
"Do you think about me when you do this?" His voice is barely there.
She's panting. "Yes." She says honestly. She discovered she's unable of thinking of anything else that's not him.
Hermione stops, and knowing she'll drive him crazy, she moves her hand up again, from her stomach to her breast, her arousal leaving a wet trail on her body.
Harry inhales sharply.
And then he moves, taking her hand. They share a look in the mirror. With their eyes locked, Harry brings her hand to his mouth. Hermione stops breathing. This is… extremely sexy. It breaks her completely. He licks her fingers and then, he sucks one by one. She moans, rocking her hips, now really needing a release.
"You taste so good." He says, his other arm closing around her middle, bringing her even closer to him. She keeps rocking her hips, her mind slowly turning into a sea of irrational thoughts.
And then his hand squeezes her breast. Yes. Harry bucks his hips involuntarily, his mouth on her neck. Her hand goes back to her sex and his follow, both stimulating her to the brink. She moans a bit louder, shaking.
"Let me." He says hoarsely and with his left hand he holds her arms in a grip, his right hand on her, his fingers going in an out in a maddening rhythm.
She's trembling, her muscles jerking, her whole body reacting. It's hard to breath properly.
"Look at us." He says in her ear and she looks at the mirror. He's so strong. The image makes her shiver. His fingers inside her, his eyes filled with lust, his own hips bucking up. She can feel his cock-
She jerks forward when he curls his fingers, touching an extreme sensitive point inside her. "Fuck." She says while he keeps going, not minding if it's too much for her. Hermione is seeing stars, the pleasure reaching a new high while he groans in her ear, his movements frenetic.
Everything tightens inside her and then…
Then it's bliss, a powerful release that obliterates her completely. She's shaking in his arms.
And Harry doesn't stop. He keeps stimulating her, his fingers in sync with his hips. Hermione throws her hand back, searching for his hair, tugging at it with force, trying to think properly.
But her mind is gone. Harry left just a puddle there now.
She's way too sensitive for him to keep moving, but she enjoys it. She's smiling and he's biting her neck, crazy, lost in her. She rocks her hips for him, helping Harry to find his own release and when he does, he says her name in a plea.
Fuck. They're perfect together.
She turns her head to kiss him, both panting, sweating a bit. But they kiss with ferocity, both wanting more of the other, both insatiable.
Harry pulls back, though. His forehead on hers. He's smiling and she smiles with him, her heart swelling.
"Feeling better?" He asks in a low voice.
"Loads." She sighs, her hand on his hair in a caress. "This was… perfect." She says the word with heaviness, her eyes searching his.
Harry gulps.
There's a moment of silence between them and her mind throws out a thought that really shouldn't surface like this after sex.
I love you.
She opens her mouth. Then she closes it, aware of the craziness of what she was about to say. He cocks his head, his hands squeezing her middle.
"I'm hungry." She says. And she is, indeed.
He chuckles. "Me too. But…" He kisses her, "Let me just kiss you some more."
And she lets him, completely happy in that small moment, in this small bubble they created for themselves.
December 12th, 2005
Hermione's house
It's 2:30am and Asmo is sleeping by her side.
Hermione has her eyes set on the ceiling. She feels terrible. Dirty and- She closes her eyes and some tears fall down.
She knew getting so close to Harry would ruin her. She misses him so much it's ridiculous. And that fucking dinner at the Manor-
Sheer torture.
Having to watch Sally kiss Harry was… it was- like a nightmare. The worst kind. The only difference is that she couldn't wake. She had to sit through the whole night, her eyes falling on them more than she could control herself. His hand on hers. Sally leaning to kiss his cheek. The smiles he gave her.
And Hermione was so angry and hurt that she wanted to pay back. She had moments with Asmo that she knew would make Harry jealous. Or at least she thinks so.
However, worse than that was the moment Harry hinted he might propose to Sally soon. Hermione never felt so hopeless. It was a reality check. He'll marry Sally or even maybe his ex depending on how things unfold.
He doesn't want her. At all. Not like this. Not to marry. Not to grow old together or have a family with - a family she can't give him, anyway.
It's really just sex-
It can't be.
The way Harry looks at her. The way he holds her. How jealous he seems to be. What he said on their last morning together, how angry he was… He saved my life again.
She closes her eyes, still crying silently.
She had sex with Asmo this night when they got home. She was so furious because of the way Sally touched Harry as if - as if he was hers - that when she saw herself alone with Asmo - her boyfriend that she doesn't love anymore - she lost it. He was more than eager to fulfill her wishes, but it was dull and strange. She felt uncomfortable because his kisses are not like Harry's. She felt dirty because his touch isn't gentle and right as Harry's.
It- they don't fit perfectly. She had to think of Harry to really get there.
Hermione feels lost. Like she's making all the wrong choices and now she has no idea what to do or how to get out of this mess.
Not to mention that she made a decision tonight that may cost her a steep price in the future. She blood bounded Harry to the Manor. A Potter that wants revenge on her family. She gave him full access to the house.
You've lost your shit, Hermione. Really.
She's still not sure why she did it. But it felt right. She needs to gain his trust. And in a way it's a small act of rebellion against her father.
Imagine his fury if he discovers.
She snorts.
He was talking about the files she pulled. She confesses she was sure everything would fall apart in that moment. She thought her father would kill Harry right there, exposing him as the Potter he is and ending things in a blink.
She was ready to fight. For Harry. Which surprised her.
But she kept her cool and things flowed naturally. Maybe her father is not thinking about this. Her searching the files doesn't mean that there's a Potter alive.
And as guarantee that she won't do anything stupid or against him, he has the binding obedience.
Just watch me, father.
Hermione sits on the bed, her feet on the floor at the side, her hands holding her head.
Someone saw her with Harry. She really hopes it was her mother. It wouldn't be a problem at all in this case, but anyone else…
Maybe now Harry will really want to end things. It's only logical. He can't risk this much because of her.
It saddens her. She wants to be with him. Badly. But she knows that they're temporary. For sure. She knows that to hope for a future with him is absurd. It will only hurt her. Destroy her.
Hermione gets up form the bed, walking to the living room. She groans when she reaches the kitchen. She can't stop thinking about Sally touching Harry. It drives her mad. It's been hours and she's still jealous. Still frustrated that she can't touch him like that in front of others.
"Get a grip." She says in a low voice, leaning on the sink and taking a deep breath.
Sleep won't come tonight. Her mind is full and she needs to- She needs an answer from Harry. She needs to know what he wants to do. Needs to know if it's over. Because if it is, then she'll do her best to just move on. But if there's even the slightest chance that he wants to continue, then…
Why wouldn't she? He makes her happy and Hermione can't even think of a time that she felt like this.
She bites her lower lip, frowning, thinking.
She accio the coin that's inside her coat's pocket. It's already 3:20am.
He's probably asleep. Doesn't matter.
She sends out:
Can we talk?
If he answers, I'll be as honest as I can regarding what I'm feeling.
But she's sure he won't-
Can't sleep?
Hermione's heart quickens. She swallows the lump in her throat. She can't help snorting. "Fucking Destiny, right?"
In a blink she magically dresses herself with a jumper and sweatpants. This is it, isn't? If they decide to continue then… she'll enjoy what they share. Be happy with it. Okay. She blinks, thinking that she can't barge into his flat talking about them. She needs an excuse… Karkaroff. Yes, they need to go to his house. Good.
She nods her head to herself and apparates to his front door. Hermione takes a deep breath. She shouldn't be doing this, but is she even capable - at this point - to keep her distance from him?
For real?
She doesn't think so.
At your door.
December 15th, 2005
Riddle Manor
It's been five minutes since she left Harry's flat and she's already back to the Manor.
"MUM!" She yells, walking fast, looking for her mother.
Hermione is angry.
It feels like the number of secrets she has to deal with are increasing by the day and she can't handle this anymore. She's exhausted. So, she's getting some answers from her mother.
She calls out again, heading to the study that's a bit isolated.
"Hermione!" Her mother calls at the end of the hall. "What's going on? Why all this shouting?"
She strides to her mother. "What's going on is that we have a lot to talk about!" She says, her tone higher than usual.
"Mind your tone, Hermione." Her mother squints. "Come." And she heads to the study, Hermione on her heels. "Where's Harry? Is he gone already? We had such a nice chat earlier."
She rolls her eyes.
When the door closes behind them, Hermione puts both hands on her waist and says, "Please, explain to me why I just found your magical signature on those french windows."
Bellatrix doesn't move, barely reacting. And Hermione knows that she's indeed hiding something. "I have no idea what you're talking about." She crosses her arms.
Hermione presses her lips together. "Mum, come on. I just performed the spell! You were the one who shut those windows at the Ball! You helped whoever invaded the Manor! I wanna know why! I wanna know what's going on!"
"I hope you don't forget that I'm your mother, Hermione." Bellatrix says in a low voice. "There are things I don't need to tell or explain to you. Don't treat me as one of your criminals. Is that clear? I won't have you barging in here and demanding answers to questions that you can't understand like that!"
Hermione gulps. It's rare for her mother to act this strongly. "I want to understand." She says in a low voice.
"That's not something you need to worry about." Bellatrix says. "You trust me, don't you?" Hermione nods. "Very well, then. Let this go. Don't mention it to anyone else. Is that clear?"
"Are you serious?" Hermione presses her lips together, angrier now. Apparently her mother doesn't trust her enough to share this secret.
"Yes. Not because I don't trust you, Hermione. But because I don't want you to have this on you if it blows up. It's better if you don't know. I'm protecting you."
Hermione crosses her arms, sighing, shaking her head, not believing this nonsense. "I don't need protecting, mother-"
"Promise me you'll let this go."
She grits her teeth, her eyes meeting her mother's. "Please, tell me."
"No. You don't need to know."
"Mum, I have a lot in my hands right now and I just want to-"
"Hermione." Bellatrix comes closer, her hands seeking Hermione's arms, squeezing gently. "Trust your mother. Let. This. Go."
Hermione wants to scream. This can't be happening. "I already know you did it, why not tell me the reason-"
"For fuck's sake!" Her mother yells, throwing her hands in the air, looking up. "You're so stubborn! I won't tell you. Give up."
"Mum-"
"ENOUGH!" Bellatrix loses it.
Hermione exhales heavily. "Fine! Fine!" She paces inside the room, looking down, her mind going a million miles an hour. "Shit. Fuck. Fucking shit!" She says under her breath, furious.
"Why are you so on the edge? So angry?"
"You're lying to me-"
"Am not! I'm just not revealing things to you." Hermione snorts. "Now, what happened?"
Hermione shakes her head. "Nothing."
"Oh, please. You're having sex with Harry, aren't you?"
Hermione widens her eyes. "This is nonsense-"
"I can see that he makes you happy. You're different." Hermione bites her lower lip, averting her eyes. "Did you have a fight?"
"No." She whispers. "I mean, I don't know."
The way he told her to leave… he saw something inside her father's study, she's sure.
"Whatever it is, I know it's going to be alright."
"How can you know that?" Hermione is still whispering.
"Because… I see the way he looks at you. And it was cute how he blushed when I said that he would pay if he hurt you."
Hermione snorts, not believing her mother. "We're just having some fun." She confesses. Her own words ridiculous.
It's way more. And it's getting heavier and heavier. It's suffocating her.
"Really? Well, I do hope is the most fun, then." Bellatrix winks at her. "Now, I have stuff to do. Is this conversation behind us?"
"Yes." Hermione sighs, resigned. Fine, she won't think about this anymore. Fuck it. Bellatrix nods and gives her a pat on the hand before leaving, but Hermione remembers that- "Mum," her mother turns to look at her, "Did you… at dinner the other night, did you, I mean… I had a moment with Harry in the locker room." She blushes. "Was it you that we heard outside?"
Bellatrix makes a face. "No. I was with your father while you were changing. Why? Did anyone see you?" She sounds worried.
"I'm not sure. I don't think so, though. No one said a thing. It wasn't father, at least. He was with you, right?"
Bellatrix nods. "Yes. For sure."
"Okay. Maybe we heard too much." She raises an eyebrow.
"Probably. There are some animals in those woods. Who knows?"
Then Bellatrix goes and Hermione braces herself.
She needs to go back to her father's study. Whatever Harry saw there, shook him. She checks the time while she walks fast to the study.
She has twenty minutes before she needs to head to the house where the Potters were murdered. She doesn't know what she was thinking when she invited Harry. She had planned on going, yes, but it's very delicate to be there with him. Especially being who she is.
Hermione slows down her steps when she reaches the corridor that leads to the study.
She wonders if Harry ever went to the house. If he knows what they'll find inside. If he already took evidence from the place years ago. She has no idea what to expect. Is the house going to be in ruins after twenty-four years? No, she doesn't think so. It's probably being taken care of… the D'Angelos saved Harry, magically maintaining a house is the least they could do.
She stops at the door and looks around, making sure that no one can see her entering the study.
In a beat she's searching her father's desk. Harry surely found something about the Potters. He never treated her that way. For a brief moment she wished she could tell him that she knows the truth, ask him to open up, but… it could really complicate things even further.
There's nothing on the top drawers, but- the last one is empty. Hermione makes a face. Not even her father is safe from a cliche like this. She magically removes the bottom and frowns. What?
She takes what looks like a Cloak from there and raises it in front of her. It's nothing like anything she ever saw. Hermione dons it. And she widens her eyes when she realizes she can't see herself in the mirror. An Invisibility Cloak. She thought these were a myth.
Why was Harry so shaken by this?
Taking it off, she looks at the fabric inside, searching for- initials.
Which she find. J.P.
Hermione closes her eyes, her fingers on the letters engraved there. Fuck. How can Harry not hate her? Not hate her family and all they stand for? - but he does. He hates us.
This is a family heirloom. That's why it has James' initials even though her father is clearly making good use of it. And the thought sends a chill down her spine.
This may very well be the reason why he knows so many secrets. The reason why he's capable of blackmailing powerful Purebloods. There's an awful sensation inside her chest. Frustration. Anger. Hate. They're all together, suffocating her.
And she blames herself for feeling these things for her own father.
Shaking her head, she folds the Cloak neatly and puts it back inside the drawer, closing it.
If things were different, this Cloak would probably hold the initials H.P. now.
Still feeling some kind of anguish, she walks away from the study and from the mansion.
I do hope you get the chance to give this to your children, Harry. You deserve it.
March 25th, 2006
Riddle Manor
When she finally stops crying, she takes a deep breath and whispers, "It makes sense now."
She just remembered that her mother was the one who shut down the french windows on the night of the Ball.
"What?" Bellatrix asks.
"Who were you helping, mum? On the night of the Ball?"
Bellatrix sighs. "I can't say. I Vowed on it and I'm also protected by this Vow." But she gives Hermione a pointed look.
"Funny thing," Hermione says, "How everyone seems fine with the fact that Harry killed Lucius, don't you think?" Bellatrix presses her lips together. Hermione continues. "I mean, it's almost like they all know something more." She says lightly.
"Well, we can't be sure of what people feel, Hermione. Maybe you're right. Or maybe they never really liked Lucius." Bellatrix makes a face and Hermione opens a tiny smile.
"He was the worst, indeed."
Her mother is still looking at her, saying with her eyes everything she can't say out loud. Hermione nods, understanding.
They all really know who Harry is. And they're all on his side. Even her mother.
She feels numb.
"You should tell them, Hermione. The truth. Your reasons."
She shakes her head. "No."
"I saw the way Ron was looking at you. Are you really sacrificing everything?"
"Many people already know a lot, mum. What I'm telling you here is between us." She says harshly and Bellatrix nods. "I-" She sighs. "I should head back to the Ministry."
They rise from the floor and share a hug. Then, still holding Hermione close, Bellatrix says, "I want you to promise me that you won't give up on your love, Hermione."
She closes her eyes. "I won't." She says faintly. "But he's never going to forgive me."
"You need to tell him-"
"Mum, unless we find a way of destroying any evidence that Asmo has, there's no way of me explaining anything to Harry. And I've broken our trust completely. It will never be the same again."
"It won't. But it doesn't mean it can't be better."
Hermione bites her lower lip. "Maybe." Hardly. "But if we run out of time… if I marry Asmo," She gulps, "then there's really no way of… mending things."
"We'll find a way, Hermione." Her mother kisses her cheek and Hermione cries a bit more. "I don't care if we have to postpone this wedding for years. We'll find a way."
She doesn't mention that even if she explains things to Harry and he believes her… she still can't give him any children and that's just-
It won't get to that.
Taking a deep breath, she says, "I need to interrogate him." She swallows the huge lump in her throat.
"I'm glad Sirius will be there with you."
Now that she's sure that Sirius only wants the best for Harry, she's also glad.
"I- I don't think I'm strong enough to do this." Her chin trembles.
"You are." Bellatrix kisses her forehead. "You're the strongest, sweetheart."
Ministry of Magic
It's already pretty late. Almost everyone is gone. Hermione stops walking when she reaches Harry's desk. Ron cleaned it up indeed. There's nothing left, no trace of Auror Harry D'Angelo. She squeezes the black stone of her necklace, shaking her head and going to her office.
She has a migraine. So, in the dark, she lies down on her couch and closes her eyes, gathering some courage. Since it was settled by her father, she can't go down to interrogate Harry without Sirius. The motive why she should send him a Patronus, asking for him to come.
But-
What if she doesn't interrogate him? What if she just talks with him, for now? Off the records.
She's cold from head to toe. She never felt this vulnerable her entire life. This fragile. If Harry looks at her the same way he did when she ordered his arrest, she's not sure she can keep it together.
If, for a miracle, he looks at her with hope in his eyes, still believing that she has an explanation, it might be even worse.
He can't still love me after this.
She grunts.
But deep down she knows he still does. Because… she would if their roles were reversed.
Time. Time will make him hate her.
I'll make sure he hates me.
She moves a wrist to turn on the lights and flinches at the brightness. Sitting down, she decides she can't stall forever. Maybe it's best if their first conversation happens alone.
Hermione uses a spell to put herself together, sending away any sign that she cried for hours, sobering up from the ridiculous amount of Firewhiskey she drank and just preparing herself for… the end.
The real end of them.
But she puts her facade on and taking the wand that's resting there on her desk, she walks fast to the elevators.
All the ride down is torture. She's shaking. "Relax." She tells herself over and over again, taking deep breaths. "You need to do this." She whispers the moment the elevator stops.
The dungeons are incredibly cold and she wonders if Harry has a blanket. She purses her lips, worried. The prisoner can't perform wandless magic inside the cell. Its walls and wards prevent the use of this amazing gift. This is only possible because of a dangerous and extremely demanding charm casted around the place.
If Harry had a wand he would be able to escape. But Hermione confiscated his wand. It's inside her office, locked away into a safe.
She gulps, her boots making a sound on the stone floor while she walks to him. She can't stop now. He already knows she's coming.
Her heart is beating so fast she's afraid she might faint.
Hermione crosses her arms to stop herself from trembling. There's an anxiousness inside her that's just… terrible. She wants to cry and beg for forgiveness even before getting to him.
She presses her lips together, her eyes on the floor while she walks. And then-
Then she's right there in front of his cell.
Harry is sitting on the bed, his head in his hands, his elbows on his thighs.
He looks up at her.
And her heart stops. Her world crumbles down. She wants to die.
So much hurt. Disappointment. Sorrow. But even so-
Deep inside… hope.
Please, no. I can't deal with this. He needs to hate me. I deserve it.
She clears her throat and he stands up from the bed, coming to the bars, leaning on them. Hermione inevitably takes a step closer to the cell, their eyes on each other's.
"Is this our first interrogation, Head Riddle?" He asks, venom in his voice. "What do you wanna know? It's going to be pretty difficult discovering something new since you fooled me into trusting you. I guess you already know a lot." He sets his jaw.
"I'm not here to interrogate you." She's surprise by how firm she sounds. Thank fuck. "I wanna talk to you."
He snorts a humorless chuckle. "Oh, please. Sure. Let's talk. I've always enjoyed our talks so much." His tone is sarcastic, he wants to hurt her.
There you go, Harry.
"Indeed." She hates herself for this. "It was pretty easy making you talk after using you." She opens a smile. One that's nasty.
This shakes him. Harry blinks a few times, opening his mouth. The concrete proof that he still had some hope. He's surprised by her words.
"It shouldn't surprise me." He says, his voice even. "That you are indeed a backstabbing bitch." He hisses.
She bites her tongue to hold back her tears. "Yeah, well, what can I do? I guess it's in my blood."
"It surely is." Ouch. "I guess it's my fault, though. I ignored all the red flags."
"We tend to do that when we're in love." She says with a cold expression.
Harry scoffs. "The same thing you're doing with Pettigrew, I guess."
That's it. The point where she wanted to get. He needs to believe that she never cared for him. "I guess." She says in a low voice.
Harry visibly gulps, his hands gripping the bars, his knuckles white. "Hermione." The way he says her name in a pleading tone… She wants to run. Disappear. "I don't know why you did this. And I-" She sees a tear running down his face. Don't cry. Don't you dare, Hermione. "If you had no choice in this, if you were forced to do this," His voice is so low, broken now. "I can forgive that. I understand. I know that your father-"
"Careful." She says in a sharp tone. "Very careful with what you're going to say about the Minister, D'Angelo. Don't forget that you're a prisoner now."
He makes a face, anger flashing through his eyes. "Whatever." He says through gritted teeth. "I don't care about him. I care about… you." She sighs, faking annoyance. Her heart is beating like a drum. She still feels cold and she's trembling inside. "I- I have to know, Hermione. Was it all a lie? Did you ever even loved me?"
With all my heart, Harry. And I probably will until the day I die.
"I thought you were smarter, D'Angelo." She says, narrowing her eyes, ready for the killing blow. "You really think that if I loved you I would be engaged to someone else?" She scoffs. "I love Asmo, there's a reason why I'm marrying him, you know?" Harry presses his lips together. He's crying. Oh. Take it back, Hermione. Take it back. She can't. "But we had some fun, didn't we?" She fakes a laugh. "Indeed."
"You're lying." His voice is- hurt. So much hurt. "I know you love me. I feel it, Hermione."
"You're very soft, aren't you? That's cute." She wonders how many days she'll cry because of this. Is she ever going to recover?
"Give me a straight answer!" He slams his hand on the bars. He's angry now, the tears falling down his face.
"It was a lie. All a lie." She says, serious. "I just had to make you trust me so you would reveal your secrets, D'Angelo. Did you see how easy it was?" She can't stop now. "And now, I'm about to discover absolutely everything that you're hiding."
Harry chews the insides of his cheeks. "I don't believe you." He says.
She's surprised. She thought that this would really cement their relationship.
Hermione frowns. "Wow. I never thought you loved me that fucking much."
He shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. "You love me the same way, Hermione. This." He points to her. "This is the lie. This moment. I can tell. You know why?"
She blinks a few times, shocked. "Why?"
"Because I know all of you. Because your eyes… they're telling me a very different story. And they never lie."
No, Harry. No. You need to hate me!
"Well, D'Angelo, believe in what you want. At the end of the day, you're still inside this cell because of me. And I'm still marrying another man." She winks at him, feeling like a lunatic, her migraine shattering her skull.
She wished she could hold his hand.
Harry crosses his arms in front of him, his eyes on her. She cocks her head. From every scenario she created inside her head, not one came even close to reality.
"I can see that you want me to hate you." He says in a low voice. Oh, well. Where was I when you were reading me like a manual?
She clicks her tongue. "You should hate me. I'm about to make your life a living hell."
He narrows his eyes. "Is that so? I thought I was here just waiting for my death." He opens a mischievous smile.
Hermione blinks many times.
"See," Harry leans on the bars again, leaning as close to her as possible. "I don't think you have the slightest intention to send me to Azkaban, Head Riddle."
"You have no idea-"
"If that was the case, I would surely be there already. Dead tomorrow."
Hermione narrows her eyes. "I wouldn't act this sure of myself if I were in your position." She says in a dangerous tone.
"You forget, Head Riddle, that I had you on the back of a Dragon with me." He smiles. Hermione widens her eyes. "Bellaverde smelled you heart, Hermione." He says in a low voice. She inhales sharply. "And all your emotions towards me were the purest ones. If that wasn't the case, you would be surely dead by now."
She raises an eyebrow.
"You're delusional, D'Angelo." She snorts. "Look at you, believing in Dragon's tales and behaving like a fool in love. Maybe only in that moment I had the best intentions." She shakes her head. "Convince yourself of whatever you want. But I said no when you proposed. I never ended things with Asmo. I've kept track of all your movements. I gave you Veritaserum and I've stabbed you in the back. Be smart. It's all in front of you." That's it. She found the way. She can see his expression changing. "Saying I love you is too easy. I can say it to a stranger on the street. But look at what I've done to you. You're inside a cell. Wake up. You have no idea if I'm keeping you here because I'll let Asmo torture you or something of the sort. You can't read my eyes as you think, because I bet that you never saw this coming." She gives him another nasty smile. "We just fucked, D'Angelo. And it was nice, yes. But as you like to say, I am a Riddle. And I had my fun using the foreigner before I marry." She shrugs.
She can see that he's doubting himself now. He must be utterly confused.
"Kiss me, then." He says.
She chokes on her saliva. And she masks it by laughing. "I must be real good in the sack." She mocks him.
Hermione can't believe this. She's being the nastier she manages and he's still- she narrows her eyes, thinking.
"Kiss me, Hermione."
"Why?"
"Because," He sighs, "Only then I'll know."
It gives her pause.
She can't fake her feelings in a kiss. Not with Harry.
But at the same time she does want to do it, badly.
And… she can get an answer. Hermione is doubting his act. It's impossible that even after everything he still believes in their love. And she's a Riddle. It shouldn't be this hard for Harry to assume the worst of her.
"Okay. Fine."
He widens his eyes, opening his mouth a bit.
"Well, look at that, Head Riddle ready to make out with a prisoner."
She laughs sincerely. He widens his eyes again, his expression softening.
Hermione says nothing as she approaches him. Now they're very close, not even the bars separating them since Harry has his head hanging out a bit. "One kiss." She says, their eyes meeting, his falling to her lips, hers to his.
"Just one."
She gulps, leaning to him.
Then she closes her eyes and- his lips are on hers. It's soft at first, unsure. But his tongue darts out, asking for permission and she opens her mouth to him. Hermione fists the bars, her body moving closer to his. Harry makes a guttural sound and she feels dizzy at how much this kiss means-
She feels his hands on her waist and she knows. She knows that-
Harry pulls back when he takes the wand that was tucked inside her waistband. She has a brief second to blink and wonder which spell will come her way.
"Stupefy!" He says.
Nothing happens.
She crosses her arms, opening a little smile and raising an eyebrow. Harry widens his eyes, totally confused, looking at the wand.
She's glad it wasn't a Cruciatus or... the killing curse. Yet.
Hermione clicks her tongue. "You know," She says, "they sell these wands as toys for kids that are still too young to perform magic. I've recently came across this one and thought it was the perfect gift for Ron and Luna's baby." Hermione shrugs. She can still taste him in her mouth, which is insanely disturbing. Harry audibly groans, throwing the wand on the floor. He looks at her and she sees the reality: Hate. Disappointment. Disgust. Contempt. She presses her lips together. "You almost fooled me with the whole speech of reading my eyes and bullshit. You even dragged Bellaverde into this."
"It was a nice speech." He says in a different voice. "If you fooled me for months, I thought I might give it a try for a few minutes. But of course, you're the better actor."
This is the real Harry that's been inside this cell for almost 24 hours, thinking about the absurdity of her betrayal. Yeah. Maybe he doesn't want her dead already, but he surely hates her now.
"Obviously. And you underestimated me, D'Angelo. You really thought I would come this close to you with a visible wand?" She shakes her head.
He sets his jaw. "Sally was right about you." He says and she feels a sudden pang of jealousy. "And Chiara."
Hermione blinks. Well, Chiara knows all the truth. But Hermione made her Vow that she wouldn't tell Harry.
She laughs. "Please, D'Angelo. If you think you can hurt me talking about Sally and Chiara you're way out of reality here. I never loved you-"
"I can see that." He says through gritted teeth. "Tell me, does Pettigrew know that I used to fuck you so hard that you would forget your own name?"
Hermione wets her lips.
"He knows."
This truly shocks Harry. She can see the way it sounds like a slap to his face.
And she can't help remembering how things unfolded between her and Asmo.
December 18th, 2005
Edinburgh
They've arrived yesterday and so far the mission is going as expected. They found Dursley and are just observing for now, making sure that the Muggle isn't a real threat.
Hermione squeezes the coin inside her pocket. She wants to talk with Harry. She misses him. It's been three days since they last talked, since they visited his parents' abandoned house.
And just thinking about it gives Hermione the chills. It was intense. She knew that she was inside that place with the last living Potter. And she has no idea how Harry kept his shit together so well. She tried giving him space to wander inside freely, but it's impossible to know what was going through his head.
At one point she saw the way he looked at her. Murderous. But in a blink it was gone and when he told her to take one of his mother's books- Hermione felt like… he accepted her. Truly. Even if she's a Riddle. Even with all the history between their families…
And that changed everything for her.
Now she doesn't want to pretend that she doesn't love him. She wants to love him fully. She wants to be with him. She doesn't care what it takes. She'll end things with Asmo and defy her father to be with Harry. Damn the consequences. They can think about them later, together. And even if she can't give him children… it'll be hard but they can figure it out.
If he feels the same for her, of course.
Hermione entertains the idea of them running away to Italy together. However, in a way she knows that his revenge comes first. He wouldn't flee like that.
She gulps, looking down. She wonders if he's ever going to feel comfortable enough to tell her the truth. Hermione doesn't want to force him to do it. It's his secret. His life. Of course she wants him to share this with her, but she can't decide for him when to do it.
So, she'll wait. For whatever long it takes.
"I think we should head back to the inn." Asmo says by her side, taking her mind off Harry.
She blinks a few times. "Yeah, there's nothing in his house, anyway. We can be back in three hours," She looks at her watch, "that's probably when he'll be back from work."
Asmo nods, taking her hand and apparating them back to the Wizard inn.
They're sharing a small room with a comfy bed. It annoys Hermione that if Asmo hadn't forced himself into this mission, she would be sharing these peaceful days with Harry.
"I'm gonna take a quick shower." He says and kisses her, heading to the bathroom.
She grunts when she's alone, sitting on the bed. Hermione takes the coin and thinks about a message to send Harry. What's he doing now? He's probably at the Ministry, working. Maybe it's not the best time to send him a message, maybe later, at night-
Will he be with Sally? She makes a face.
She doesn't want to share him anymore. Harry's hers. They belong together. And it isn't fair that she's with Asmo while they're clearly feeling something more for each other.
When she puts things that way it's so very easy to decide.
She'll end things with Asmodeus. Right now.
Hermione feels better at this decision and pockets the coin, her eyes falling on the handbag Asmo brought. She frowns. He left it open on the floor and-
She can see the jewelry box. The engagement ring. She widens her eyes. Oh, fuck. Why is the timing always the worst?
In a daze, she takes the velvety box in her hands, closing her eyes. Doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter that he wants to marry her. She wants to be with Harry. Is that simple-
"Oh, Hermione, you-"
She blinks, looking at Asmo. He's standing there in a t-shirt and jeans, his hair wet.
"I-" She has no idea what to say. The image is all wrong. Her holding the box with her eyes closed as if it's something she's been waiting for when in reality-
He opens a smile. "You weren't supposed to find this, I had planned a whole dinner and such." He shrugs and takes a step closer to her, taking the box from her hands. Hermione wants to scream when he actually kneels. "But I guess what matters is that I love you. And I want to marry you." He opens the box and Hermione widens her eyes at the big diamond ring. It's beautiful. "Will you, Hermione? Marry me?"
She presses her lips together. Taking a deep breath, she says, "No." He frowns. "I'm sorry, Asmo. I don't wanna marry you."
He opens and closes his mouth a few times. Hermione waits. There's nothing else she can say. He stands up from the floor, closing the box and bitterly chuckling, shaking his head.
"Are you fucking serious?" He asks, his voice dangerous, a tone she hates.
Hermione stands from the bed, both her hands on her waist while she squints at him. "Very much." She says calmly.
"Why?" He asks.
"I don't love you anymore." She says simply. "It's been over for a while and you know it."
They barely talk. The last time they had sex was just because Hermione wanted to forget all the mixed emotions regarding Harry and that dinner at the Manor-
"It's because of D'Angelo, isn't it?" He cocks his head, crossing his arms. She has no time to answer, swiftly Asmo takes a step to her, his hand holding her arm in a vicious grip, hurting. "I saw you two at the Manor." He hisses in her face. Oh, shit. "You, bitch." He says through gritted teeth. "Cheating on me with that filthy Italian."
She gulps, angry. "A filthy Italian that's a thousand times better than you." She says sharply.
He snorts, still close, still hurting her. She tries shaking him from the grip, but he holds her in place. "Tell me. Are you fucking him?"
"Yes. And it's amazing." She hisses, a new found hate towards Asmo taking over her.
He sets his jaw, his other hand going to her throat in a tight choke. "Do you love him?"
"Yes." She has no reason to hide the truth. "Take your hands off me." She says slowly, her eyes narrowing in warning. He scoffs and moves away, releasing her. "If you ever dare touching me like this again, I'll murder you, Asmo." She says, a hot anger boiling inside her. Who the fuck he thinks he is?
He clicks his tongue and moves his finger from one side to the other, the clear sign of 'no'.
"It's nice to know that you're ready to ruin your life for D'Angelo… or should I say Potter?"
The floor disappears beneath her feet.
No. If Asmo knows-
One thing is to defy her father and everyone else to be with Harry while they think he's a D'Angelo, but if it comes out that he's a Potter- if-
"Are you crazy? A Potter?" She knows she's not hiding her despair. Hermione was not expecting this. At all.
"Look at you. Shaking because I know his little secret." He makes a face of disgust. "You know too, don't you? You're just as filthy as him." He spits on the floor. Hermione feels dizzy. "Now, Hermione, don't worry too much, dear, your father doesn't know. Yet."
She can hear the threat. "You're crazy-"
"STOP!" He yells and throws a glass on the wall. "You've been making a fool out of me for a while now and I'm tired! Since the day he arrived you're feeding me lies and protecting him. I've had enough." He's breathing hard, furious. She crosses her arms, a cold calmness taking over her. She won't be able to think clearly if she's too nervous. "I have no idea how you found out about him, but you're smart and Potter was just so cocky…" He snorts, "thinking he could walk into Riddle Manor like that. Of course my father recognized him. Lucius did too and that's why he's dead."
Hermione blinks. "These are all conjectures, where's your proof?"
"It happens that, I'm not the idiot you think I am." He sneers. "When my father told me that he was sure D'Angelo was a Potter, I knew I had to have some kind of proof that not even you would be able to go against. You see, Lucius' funeral was actually the best idea D'Angelo had. And I couldn't let it pass. He was all alone, unprotected inside that room…"
"You hired the man who attacked him." She states, her voice low.
Asmodeus nods, that same ugly smile on his face. "Of course. It was easy giving the man certain instructions. He failed a bit because D'Angelo was supposed to die. Now, he would have if it wasn't for you, wouldn't he?" She sets her jaw. "But I saw my opportunity. All that blood. His blood." Asmodeus shrugs. "Before the team could clean things up I collected some. And it was pretty easy from there, all I had to do was take James Potter's sample from the Ministry. I took it to a hidden lab and the Alchemist confirmed. Harry Potter. Of course I obliviated the Alchemist after."
She takes a deep breath. "And you're keeping this information why? What do you want?"
"It's very simple. I want to marry you, Hermione." She frowns, he laughs. "Not because of my undying love for you, oh, no. You're a Riddle. The only heir. I want our children to inherit everything Tom Riddle built for himself." She almost laughs. "The Pettigrews are next in line to rule. So, you see, I'll keep this secret, I'll even Vow on it if you just accept to marry me. Be my wife, the mother of my children and for all I care D'Angelo can do whatever the fuck he wants. I mean, as long you keep using the contraceptive spell, I don't even care if you keep fucking him."
This is… her mind is reeling. "If I refuse?"
"I'll reveal his identity." He shrugs. "And I mean, can you imagine the circus around it? Your father is going to torture him to the brink. He'll make D'Angelo insane and then he'll kill him in front of everyone. As an example. The D'Angelos will be murdered, for sure. I guess even the Ferris since they're insanely close."
She closes her eyes. Maybe Asmo doesn't have the samples. What if he's bluffing? "How can I be sure that-"
He waves his hands and a vial appears. There's blood in it. "I'm not lying, Hermione. Check for yourself."
She gulps and, seizing her wand, she performs the spell capable of revealing the vial's informations.
It's all there. The concrete proof that Harry is James Potter's son.
Asmodeus smiles at her utter resignation. Then the vial disappears so fast that she has no time to try destroying it. "They're very well hidden. And if something happens to me or my family, I have someone that will release this to the press." She sits back down on the bed, defeated. "But if you accept marrying me… I'll Vow on it. I won't reveal this secret to anyone nor will my family."
She feels tears running down her face. Marrying Asmo will ruin all her chances with Harry. Just accepting a proposal might end things between them.
But it'll save him. It will buy Harry time.
"Hey, now, don't look so sad." He steps closer to her. "I'm not forcing you. You have a choice." She snorts. "So, what will it be, Hermione? Yes or no?"
She wipes her tears.
Be strong, Hermione. You can do this.
"Yes, Asmo. I'll marry you."
(…)