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by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

3. Digging up a Grave - Levi x Petra

Digging up a grave

PetraRal28

Summary:

After the resounding failure of the 57th expedition, the troops of the survey corps retreat hastily towards the shelter of the walls. Humanity has only recently learned about the existence of intelligent titans, of unexpected human nature, although even more surprises remain hidden on the abandoned battlefield...

Notes:

Hello guys! I've finally finished the first chapter of my first fanfic ever. I must warn you this is just an introduction that sets the premise for what's coming next, so the pacing will be quite fast in this one. I preferred to do it this way so you won't have to wait too long for their interactions to happen. I also apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes since English isn't my first language. This was quite hard to do!

This story will rely a lot on the blanks left by Isayama when dealing with Petra and Levi's relationship, giving these characters a chance to reflect about the nature of their connection, responsability, and the pain of those things which just cannot be.

All the characters belong to Hajime Isayama.

Chapter 1: She never reached

Chapter Text

After so many years fighting, he had grown used to the feeling of having every part of his body active, the tingling blood through his limbs and the acceleration of his perception. In such a tense moment, the sound of the chariot wheels became unconsciously annoying, increasing his anxiety. It was a monotonous and stable noise, almost as much as the danger to which they were constantly subjected. Unfortunately, however, not frantic enough to keep them away from the rumbling of gigantic footsteps dangerously approaching them. It didn't take much reasoning to figure out that getting rid of their fallen comrades was the most effective way to increase their speed and save themselves. However, it took him a moment to vocalize the decision. There was something about it that felt wrong, as if he was repeating his mistake by leaving them behind. Somehow, it comforted him to know that with that decision he was valuing their sacrifice, for he couldn't let their deaths lead to more casualties. After exchanging several shouts, the tail boards opened, dropping those bodies whose rescue had already posed a considerable risk.

If the sound of the carts already sapped their weary minds, now it was added the dreadful crash of their friends against the ground, some of them to be eaten by the titans, others to be crushed and forgotten in the same place they went to find their freedom but instead found their deaths.

Levi tried uselessly to take his gaze away from that sight, he knew it was his job to supervise his soldiers, but his eyes couldn't help searching for her silhouette in each covered figure. He remembered in detail where he had placed her, how he had tied her shroud and tried to keep her badge for himself... So when her body fell, accidentally revealing flocks of strawberry blonde hair, he was there this time, looking at her once more. Levi felt his stomach drop as if a ball of air had suddenly fallen from his constipated chest. Soon the chariots were able to increase their speeds, distancing them forever, and leaving him with the certainty that now he'll never know.

Hidden in the forest were some still unknown figures. Among them Zeke, whose power had allowed him to approach the battlefield safely. The traitors of humanity had been undercover in the army for several years, but he still felt the need to test the waters for himself, in order to decide how they were going to carry out their next plan. He knew that Annie was in danger, and that Reiner and Bertolt's identities were soon to be discovered. To his surprise, he found himself in the ideal situation to test out Marley's new weapon. He had brought the silver box with the hope that something similar would happen, but not so incredibly suitable. According to the army leaders, this new product would be able to resurrect and turn corpses into pure titans. This could be a great advantage, since they would be able to profit their soldiers for a little longer. Besides, Paradis was the right place to carry out the experiment on a larger scale without major expense; they wouldn't need ammunition to kill the transformed nor almost any type of security measure (if carried out by someone like Zeke). He just had to wait for the troops to move away and hopefully find some almost complete remains of Eldian soldiers.

He used the scream of his beast titan to stop the nearest pure ones, this way he made sure no more corpses were being eaten nearby, plus making it safe for him to approach them in his human form.

Soon after, Zeke found himself in the middle of a large clearing in the forest, covered in blood and stained white fabrics, revealing what until not long ago would have been humans, although the passage of the titans had left another impression.

Walking among the horrid sight and by seeing the placement of the bodies, he quickly deduced what could have happened. The titans who until recently feasted were now immobile due to his control. Near one of their huge feet, Zeke finds a body whose bones were totally shattered, especially his back, although it remained in one piece. One bare arm revealed a small, pale-skinned hand with the marks of a bite. He quickly noticed it was a young woman, though his face remained unaffected by the sorrowful sight. After a few moments, he raised his gaze from the ground and continued his way in search of complete victims. The sun began to set as Zeke paced, unaffected by the intimidating presence of the titans, luckily finding six more bodies that could be useful. After having deliberated on the state of all of them, he decided which ones were the most likely to become functional beasts. He placed them at a relative distance from each other, facing down, and opened the cold gray box with four syringes. He prepared them all at once, and took a defeated sigh.

With a relative dose of nervousness, he injected all four bodies as fast as he could, hoping to take the necessary time before they transformed. Unfortunately, when injecting the third body, it hatched immediately, having to flee quickly after only being able to transform three.

In the next few moments he watched as the first titan manifested in a very unstable form. Despite his transformation, he had not managed to regenerate his left arm and one of his legs, which left him lying on the ground. The next one was better, at about 3 or 4 meters high, he could walk despite having slight asymmetries. Finally, the first body injected gave rise to a titan with reddish hair and whose stability was quite doubtful as well. It was clear that her broken back had not managed to regenerate fully, remaining twisted. Despite this, what at one point was Petra Ral herself managed to get up off the ground and move. Seeing such failures Zeke could not help but sigh again, doubting the effectiveness of this discovery.

The experiment had only half worked. It wasn't really useful to create a functional army, although it could restore the life of some would-be titan shifter. In any case, these creatures, whose peace had just been disrupted, were now problem of the survey corps, or at least that's what he thought…

It would be difficult to say if any aspect of her consciousness ever awakened. Her skin burned, and even though her eyes were open her mind remained black. The creature struggled toward the forest, occasionally stumbling through the trees, causing it no pain or frustration. Some aspect of her, however, was still present. As when one is about to fall asleep and has the sensation of suddenly plunging, Petra would not stop falling. Perhaps it was a loop of her lasts seconds: the lack of gravity and the air leaving her body. What happened in a single instant had turned into a thick mass that occupied her mind all the time. She remained in that limbo until a depression in the ground made her fall into a ditch, being covered by some bushes, product of the humidity of the area.

The sunlight barely penetrated the foliage, leaving her misshapen body useless. Surprisingly, something about her state came to affect her ... The coldness of the shadow and the shelter of the earth briefly embraced her as she relived her nightmares.

There she laid, indifferent to the passage of time, until suddenly something appeared before her. Among the undergrowth, the titan saw the figure of a woman dragging a smoking limbless body and gently laying it on the ground, near the ditch's entrance. Unaware of the titan's presence, Pieck tried to catch her breath before rejoining the Marleyan fleet. They had managed to exterminate much of the Eldian army, but Reiner, Zeke and Porco were on the brink of death, and they had lost the colossal titan too. She had spent a long time transformed, and her injuries had also forced her to take a break in her human form. Right now, they were especially vulnerable, and Pieck could only pray that she could regain her strength and transform again. She then took several steps away to see how the regeneration of her other two companions was going, and in a matter of seconds, the previously invisible titan catapulted from her hiding place, devouring Porco completely.

Pieck had not yet regained all of her strength, and she could only stare in horror at the result of her mistake. When the shock left her body, she grabbed her companions by their collars and tried to drag them as far as she could, even though they were twice her size. Luckily for them, the titan's physical problems and her unevenness prevented her from rising. Pieck's observant nature made her immediately aware of it, and she thought that perhaps she could wait there for it to regain its human form to devour the lost titan again. However, there would still be more titans around them, and it was a priority now to protect her remaining friends. Perhaps thanks to the adrenaline of the moment she managed to transform, took her companions between her jaws and escaped from that place. Pieck knew that retreating was the safest option for the moment, and it eased her mind to think that the survey corps weren't likely to find the titan before them. And if they did, it would fall back into their hands soon enough.

She took a sudden gasp that woke her up. Her breathing was uneven, and her senses betrayed her. As the heat of the late afternoon sun touched her smoky skin, Petra had the sensation of having awakened from a long nightmare that she could not quite remember. When she finally half-opened her eyes she felt relieved, but within seconds she fell asleep again. She remained there for hours, torn between lethargy and consciousness. Little by little, the consciousness of "self" returned to her, but she couldn't help feeling that now there was someone else…

Her dreams sharpened, and the moments of her awakening became clearer. At some point Petra thought that maybe she was resting injured on some makeshift base. The night fell on her and she began to feel the cold on her naked body, making her revisit her dreams once again. The dew of dawn was not long in coming, waking her from her visions. For a moment, in the orange light, she wondered to whom that cup belonged, to whom she was speaking, what was that emotion that felt warm in her chest but cold in her arms...

Suddenly, the hum of metal pulleys brought her back to life.

Flying over the trees there was a small crew of the survey corps, following an 8-meter titan that was coming towards her. In the blink of an eye, the creature collapsed on the ground without giving Petra time to identify the situation she was in.

The recovery of Maria Wall had resulted in the almost total extinction of the brigade, but such a victory for humanity and the secrets discovered had pushed some members of the military police to join them, making it possible to carry out modest expeditions near the walls, exterminating the titans that didn't get close enough to be eliminated from the other side. Leading this team was commander Hange Zoë, who had taken over after Erwim's death. She along with Levi were in charge of leading a small group made up of some members of the 104th and a few newbies.

Among the survivors of the last battle was Jean Kristein, who was the first to notice her presence. When he saw the young naked woman lying on the ground, he stopped in his tracks, watching her for a few seconds without being able to believe his eyes. He then threw a black flare, which immediately caught the attention of his companions, who came to help him. Unable to hide the stupor in his expression Jean yelled at Hange "Commander, there's a human lying on the ground with shifter marks!"

Hearing this, Levi who had not yet changed the course of his trajectory made a violent turn fearing the worst. Seconds later the new recruits followed, visibly terrified of the finding, yet ready for battle.

When Hange landed on the tree Jean was anchored, they were completely paralyzed. "This can't be true ..." After a few moments, they quickly threw themselves to ground level, while Jean followed them fearing a surprise attack. The reaction continued in a chain after seeing the reckless action of the commander. They were still trying to digest Erwin's death, and Levi was quick to yell Hange to get away from the suspicious figure.

Hange by then was completely bent over Petra's body, "Hey, Petra, is it really you? Can you hear me? What happened?" Jean was slightly further back, a little calmer after deducing that it was an acquaintance, although he didn't understand how. The way they were arranged covered her up, so when Levi reached the ground he couldn't see her face at first, but felt slightly disappointed that the legs he saw couldn't be Zeke's... Hange kept muttering an impossible amount of questions to the woman. Levi proceeded to approach her more calmly after realizing that she couldn't move.

"Hey Hange, could you tell me what-". He froze in a way he probably never did before.

For a few instances his mind seemed to disassociate from what he was seeing. He recognized her face, but was unable to connect the information that reached him. A horrible sense of relief and guilt engulfed him, leaving him expressionless before Petra's immobile anatomy.

The girl was lying on her side, visibly weakened from having spent God knows how long in the open. Her face looked tired and sad, and her eyes were framed by the marks of her transformation. It was obvious that Petra had been turned into a titan, although this should have happened after her death, something they discovered was possible in that exact moment. Not that Levi wasn't happy to see her, but the guilt of seeing her fall victim to this conflict once again was greater. Her body had been left outside the walls and now she had been forced to return to this hell, through a power that would force her to die once again soon. Once Levi came back to reality, he unbuttoned his cloak and put it over her uncovered torso. Hange had never paid much attention to decorum, much less when something fascinated them, and the other cadets did not dare to approach. Petra's honey eyes fell on him, and he could feel that it was her, even though she was not quite there ... It was almost impossible to believe that he was seeing her, covered with the cloak that he hadn't been able to get rid of even after changing their uniforms, decorated with the same wings that he had plucked from her badge that day.

"Petra" He said in disbelief "Can you hear us? ..."

"Hmn ..." She managed to pronounce.

Hange screamed with excitement once they saw Petra was finally responding. They immediately brought the horses so they could finally return her inside the walls. The sound of her voice had brought Levi back to his senses, who was already taking care of ordering their retreat. Perhaps he could give her father different news from that time… But what would he tell him exactly? He knew perfectly well that his daughter was now in a limbo, carrying a curse.

Chapter 2: The pendant duty

Summary:

Petra wakes up in the military dungeons, oblivious to everything that has happened during the last six months. Levi is in charge of bringing her up to date, and informing her of her last duty to humanity. Erwin had asked him not too long ago if he could see his fallen comrades, and now he surely could. During their talk, Levi, who had sworn to live regretless, starts to doubt. What will he say once she finally asks him, "how did I die?"

Notes:

Here's the second chapter of my Digging up a grave series! I really do appreciate your support guys. I was really excited to know that some of you enjoyed the first part, so I hope you find this one interesting as well. This chapter was quite hard to write. I wanted this part of the story to feel genuine while also setting some conflicts. I'm pretty clear about the direction the story will go, and it will probably end up having around 6 chapters. I'll keep trying my best to bring you all a good burn! 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Petra woke up with a start. Seconds after she opened her eyes the memory of her nightmare faded, leaving behind it an agonizing sensation. The room was dark, and a faint musty smell stung her nose. The small bed was nestled against the wall in one corner, though she could barely see anything in the dim light.

She then remembered that she had been in the forest, and that the captain had found her, although she couldn't recall how she had gotten there. She also remembered her conversations with Eren before the expedition, but all the rest seemed to have been lost. There was not a single muscle in her body that didn't ache, and a slight but persistent migraine pricked her temples. Her hands fearfully explored her body expecting to find a wound that could explain those after-effects. To her surprise, she didn't find anything on the surface, which made her think that it was something internal, maybe caused by some fall or blow, which was somewhat correct.

At the thought of it, something twisted in her stomach, as it would surely have implied a problem for her squad, that would have had to come to her aid. It was even possible that her own captain had come to rescue her, which hurted her considerably. Petra was a proud soldier, she placed high esteem on her work, and would be lying if she said that she didn't seek Levi's approval. For a long time Petra had tried to justify herself by thinking that all she wanted was to prove her worth, or that maybe she was too good-natured and therefore a little bit of a pleaser, even if the latter didn't fit her at all.

Her breathing was still uneven, and from time to time she also experienced vertigo. Fatigue prevented her from caring too much about her condition, although it didn't take long for her to notice that something was wrong. Despite her blackouts, she managed to remember most of the things, but there was a fog separating her from everything… The memories, the people, the important events were there, but the emotional bonds that tied them had been distorted. She analyzed herself in the stillness of the room, until the sound of squeaking metal alerted her that someone was entering.

Thanks to the light of a torch she could see that it was Hange, who had just opened the gate of the cell in which she was. Petra felt misplaced as she realized she was imprisoned, and looked around her quickly, worsening her headache.

"Lay back down, getting upset will only make it worse", Levi said.

His voice moved something inside Petra, briefly clearing the mist that had separated her from reality before, bringing back for a second the sensation that linked his memory to her. She saw him appear from behind Hange, in civilian clothes and with his hands tucked into his pockets. Petra rested her head on the pillow once again, lying on one side without losing sight of her superiors.

"There you go! Just as when we found you… ", said Hange in a rather calmed manner. As the commander approached she realized Hange wore an eye patch, then her eyes shifted to their neck, where now there was an honorific pendant with a green gem. Petra wondered what could have happened, and how was it possible for them to have been commemorated that fast…

"What happened?", she asked them, unable to hide her urgency. Hange's expression turned grim, while Levi remained motionless, leaning against the opposite wall the bed was in, unable to look at her. Petra's eyes went from one to the other, trying to figure out if she should apologize for something.

"We figured you won't remember", said Hange, making a pause. "You see, Petra… During the 57th expedition, we were attacked by an intelligent titan who turned out to be an infiltrated member in our army. Levi's squad was totally annihilated, including yourself".

The room remained in silence as Petra stared the commander in disbelief. "Are they- are they dead?", she started saying, but couldn't finish before Hange interrupted, "that was six months ago".

That last sentence made her body temperature drop. The meaning behind her words was starting to reach her, and soon she started to panic. Petra tried to incorporate herself as her coping mind began to separate her from that moment. Before her nerves collapsed, Levi pushed himself off the wall and started walking toward her.

"You died, your body had to be left outside the walls and the enemy transformed yourself into a titan. After six months you came to devour someone who had the ability to shift like Eren, and that's how you turned back to yourself."

Hange gave Levi a concerned look, for he was delivering way too much information very harshly, even though she quickly realized that was his best attempt to bring her back. As he finished speaking, Levi finally looked Petra in the face. She regenerated slowlier than normal, but now her face looked as usual, if not a little bit pale. He had always been prepared to let go of anyone at any given moment, but he wasn't ready for this.

"Hange, aren't you busy now that you're the new commander? How about you let me take care of her", said Levi without taking his eyes away from Petra.

"Commander!?", replied Petra, "Then Erwin…"

"Ah, you're right", said Hange with a saddened tone, "I'll go take care of it now, you guys have a lot to talk about! See you, Petra." This time they sounded more carefree, disappearing before Petra could say goodbye.

Rapidly her mind shifted to Ouro, Eld and Gunther… The pain was beginning to take over her, but the captain wasn't going to let her take a breath.

Levi continued to advance towards her and sitted on her bed, quite more closer than what he had really intended to. Petra felt slightly intimidated, had he stopped trusting her? "Is he trying to intimidate me?", she thought to herself, although he just wanted to see her from up close.

"Captain… I apologize. I understood what you both said, but there are some things I can't really grasp".

After hearing the word "captain" Levi shuddered. That was the first time she addressed him after her death, so formal, as if… nothing had really happened. She gave her life to him once, and now that she's given a second she's already back on duty? His expression betrayed him this time. He had always known how devoted she was, and was aware of her fondness for him, but why now? After giving everything she had, after he had failed them, she was willing to continue believing in him? He was being dragged to a mindspace he couldn't afford. He had to understand she hadn't seen herself under that tree, nor falling from the chariot. That was on him.

"Petra, it is done now. You don't need to talk to me in that manner. Your duty with humanity has been fulfilled for now. If you still want to do this, I won't stop you, but for now you should just listen".

His reaction softened her. She knew she probably was a titan now, but if what they said was true, they would have had to suffer her death anyways. Petra lowered her gaze, as the blood slowly returned to her cheeks. She really had to work up the courage to ask the following:

"What happened to us?"

The captain was then forced to look away. It was a most common question, but he didn't know what to answer. All the formulas that came to mind included the confession that he was not there, that he could not help them, and that he abandoned them a second time without being able to take them to their families.

"I wasn't there, but it looks like your back was broken." He could not lie, although he chose the short version. He didn't want her to have to imagine it, even at the risk of sounding blunt. "If you want to know more, you should ask Eren." That's all he could give away, as he turned to face her once more.

"I see ..."

Petra bit the bullet nicely, keeping her composure. At least she was certain that Eren was fine, even though they had failed him too. She knew Levi was used to losing people along the way, and he'd had to let go of his squad as well. At least now they could carry the weight of that loss together, she thought. Then, as things started to fall into place, it suddenly hit her.

"My father!"

"We'll take care of it. I'll inform him personally that you've been miraculously found alive. We can't really tell him the truth for now, but we'll arrange something…", he comforted her.

Petra's face lightened up a little, regaining its usual beauty. She had a very close relationship with her father despite their silly arguments. She didn't want to imagine the suffering it would have caused him, and was dying to tell him she was fine. Her determination helped her feel better, since now she had in mind to go home as soon as possible.

"Thank you so much, sir. When will it be possible to go see him? I really need to let him know."

Levi looked at her somewhat concerned, Petra's mind was jumping from one place to another, and he needed to talk with her about so many things... Things that had happened in battle, the truth about the titans, she deserved to know everything, although deep down he knew that would not satisfy him. Was there something else he wanted to tell her, or was it actually something he wanted to know?

"I'm telling you to listen. Now that you've eaten a shifter you have inherited their powers. As you might have guessed, that means you're like Eren now. We can't really lose sight of you for that. We can't know for sure which titan you have, and as far as we know your condition seems more delicate than the others. We aren't sure you'll be able to transform and come back. Our only concern for now will be to make sure we don't lose you. When the time it's due, you'll have to pass your power on to someone else".

Petra saw that their conversation was far from over, and continued to listen with the same gesture of professionalism that had always accompanied her.

"There's something more…", continued Levi, "you can only live for thirteen more years after having inherited the powers. That's in normal cases, so it's very likely that you'll have considerably less time due to your circumstances."

Petra's eyes widened momentarily, realizing now that she would have to lose most of her freedom, and that her time was running out. It's not that she wasn't up to it, but she wondered what would become of her life. Did that mean that her father was about to lose her again? She even came to think that perhaps it would be better for him to continue thinking that she's dead, so he wouldn't have to bury his daughter twice.

"You will need to find a reason of your own. We'll only ask you to keep yourself alive until we find some certainties. If everything goes on smoothly we should be able to meet with the people who transformed you. But until your time is up, you must decide how to spend it. Once you are better and clean yourself up, I will take you to see your father, if you want to".

That comment, coupled with his visibly frustrated expression, brought Petra a small smile. They were close, and she could sense that he had cared deeply for her. As she looked at him, a chill ran through her arms. His attention always managed to move something in her. Petra felt ashamed of her own feelings, but it was obvious that she felt for him. Sometimes she belittled that affection as a childish crush, or distorted admiration. But other times, she felt that she knew him better than that, though it mortified her to admit how she had been carried away by Levi.

"I'm already starting to feel better. I will get to it as soon as possible. I would really like to get some fresh air. Is there anything else that I should know?"

Her voice was gentle, although there was some sadness to it. Guilt gnawed at Levi even though he didn't show it. Similar chills washed over him, unable to stop looking at the ghost on the bed. Erwin's death still followed him, and Petra's return had done nothing but show him a new version of hope and mourning.

They continued to talk about everything she had missed, sometimes looking into each other's eyes, sometimes avoiding their gazes. It was the first time that such a conversation took place on earth, an acquaintance bringing news to a dead person that could actually answer. There they remained, exchanging words for hours, caught up in an emotion that cannot be experienced alone.

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading! In the next chapter, as you might have already guessed, they will be visiting Petra's father. Maybe something about that letter is about to be unveiled...

Chapter 3: Between lines

Summary:

Two weeks after being resurrected, Petra tries to cope with the loss of her teammates, while also adjusting to her new life. Just as he promised, Levi will accompany her to visit her father, who now thinks her daughter pretended to be dead for a secret mission. During lunch, he brings up the subject of that letter…

Notes:

Hi guys! Here's the third chapter of Digging up a grave. This and the next one were meant to be the same, but the end result was quite long, so I've decided to split it. I'll post the fourth today as well. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter Text

Two weeks have passed since Petra returned. Thenceforth, she had come under the protection of the army, having to put aside her former duties as a soldier until they could find some answers. Nevertheless, she had insisted on making herself useful, and had been helping with the maintenance of the barracks. After all, she was one of the few people capable of meeting the captain's standards of cleanliness…

Petra had had time to mourn her companions, and to let the missed events sink on her. Many mornings she woke up with red eyes and a puffy face, ignoring the sour looks of the recruits who suspected her. Some of them had learned her story, and couldn't help but wonder, after losing many friends, why she had been allowed to return. Something she has been wondering as well…

Most soldiers were incredibly busy at that time, having to give many explanations after the truth of their world had been unveiled, so she found herself alone in most of the rooms, except for a couple guards that followed her around. As she worked, her mind wandered to other dark corners. Every little task made her think of her squad, who were no longer there to help nor bother. All those things they had done in company, she did now alone.

Levi had also found himself doing things on his own since that day. He stopped drinking tea for a while after the blow, to eventually go back to making it for himself. Accustomed to his solitude, he felt surprised to find Petra in the kitchen reaching for the kettle at dawn. He'd been acting on automatic that morning, and he had to remind himself again that she was there, the same way he'd spent months waking up to tell himself otherwise. He was glad to see that she was better. They hadn't seen each other since their talk in the dungeons, which now seemed so ethereal in his memory.

"Good morning there." His words made Petra wince, for her mind had been somewhere else.

She was kneeling in front of the low cabinets, and returned his salute without hardly looking at him. It was obvious that she had been sleeping little and crying a lot. She had always been very receptive to her surroundings, but now her figure gave off an air of decay.

"I can do it myself", he told her. Levi didn't want to stick his nose in her business, plus surprising someone in their emotions always made him feel awkward.

"Don't worry it's fine. I'll bring it to you in a minute." She recollected herself quickly.

Levi watched her silently, as he approached to help her pick things up.

"Would you have a cup with me?" He asked, appreciating the moment he believed he could never live again.

"Sure." She replied sweetly, slowly coming back from her saddened mind.

They drank their tea in an awkward silence, but Petra knew it was better that way, for he hated small talk even more.

"I'm sorry you had to be doing this alone." She suddenly told him. "I've been doing everything alone myself lately… It sucks."

She hadn't realized how much she needed to talk with someone until that moment, and she really wanted it to be him on the other side.

"I still carry them on everything I do. That's one way to deal with it." He told her, knowing perfectly well what she was going through. His words brought some warmth to her, as she decided to follow his example once more.

"Captain. I've been locked in here for days, and I can barely take it like this. I need to do something else."

"I've already told you what's your position right now. Stop asking." He needed to cut her off. Fighting or not, she was still a soldier under his command, and he couldn't have her breaking down.

"Can I see my father then?" She asked, slightly defiant.

In normal circumstances, he would've grabbed her by the collar for that, but he had a soft spot for her, plus she couldn't be blamed for whatever mindfuckery she was going through after everything.

"If you're ready by mid day, I'll ask Hange."

After hearing his reply, she felt wrong for reacting like that. She didn't know what was going on with her, but there was something different... She was having a hard time keeping herself together.

"I'm sorry for… I'll be ready by then." She replied. Then, without losing a second, she got up and went to her dorm. Levi watched her leave, without knowing how to help her. She even had problems vocabulazing herself...

Petra tried to sleep for a couple more hours before showering and getting ready to go home. She felt joyful for for the first time in days, thinking that she might be able to take a piece of her previous life back for at least a few hours, plus Levi would be accompanying her, wasn't this everything she had wished for before?

Once she came out of the shower, someone knocked her door. She covered herself quickly and went to open. Petra was surprised to find it was Levi, who seemed to be already dressed up for the occasion. He wore a formal but simple black suit, with his characteristic white shirt and neckerchief.

"Oh! Hello, captain, isn't it a little bit early?"

"I've brought you this. We gave all your stuff back to your father, and it will be suspicious for you to not have any street clothes of your own. "

He handed her a paper bag that contained a dress quite similar to those she always used to wear when off duty. Petra had picked his clothes back then a couple times, but she was surprised to see him nail her style that nicely. "He really has an eye for detail", she thought.

"There's also a letter with some scheme Hange and I came with, you should memorize it." He felt bad for having to ask her to lie to his poor father, but she seemed too entertained with that dress to care.

"Oh! I'll take a look at this", she said, taking the envelope, "though I must advise you, it's better to keep quiet in front of him. He's too good at reading between the lines…" She always sounded more cheerful whenever she talked about him.

Levi's mind couldn't help but to remember the first time he approached him. "I wanted to discuss something with you before she sees me", he had told him, "she said she wanted to devote herself to you, even though that's her pride talking… as her father-"

"Thank you, Captain Levi. I'll be ready as soon as possible." Her words brought him back from that flashback as she closed the door in front of him. This time she seemed more excited, and her mood had improved quite a lot from that talk they had in the morning. Levi went back to work, still thinking about what her father could have read between the lines of that letter.

xxxxxxxxx

About an hour later, Levi was standing on the same spot. Petra's door opened before he could even knock, and she stepped outside to meet him. She looked much more fresh after gaining some sleep, and the femenine cut of her dress did wonders to her figure. For some, it would've been hard to envision such a "girly girl" as one of the fiercest soldiers the legion has ever had. For some others, that contrast was exactly what made her seem so versatile and fascinating, Levi within them. It's important to remark that it wasn't just a matter of appearance, as her personality could easily meet both extremes as well.

They started walking together, and left the building using a discrete back entrance, to get as little attention as possible. Underneath, a carriage was waiting for them.

"We have communicated your return beforehand to him, we don't want your dad to have a heart attack before you're even able to talk. Have you memorized our version of events?" Levi asked about halfway through their journey.

Petra nodded. "It's quite hard to believe, but I guess the truth it's even less believable."

They didn't want the enemy to find out that easily that they had found the lost titan, so they wouldn't leak the true information outside some trusted circles of the army. They have told the rest that Petra had gone undercover in a mission they could not disclassify yet, and that they had used the death of Levi's squad to erase her as well. In order to protect her and her father, they had had to lie to him as well. They also included some minor details in order to make it more believable, although it was advised to not give much away. It wasn't difficult to let it slip, considering that most of the soldiers who had seen her body back then were trusted individuals or already dead…

They both stared at their scripts as they made their way through the fields. Soon enough, Petra got distracted by the familiar view of her land. Her father had a small farm he used for his own supply and some sales. Levi watched as her face brightened, finally kissed by the outside sun. She suddenly turned to look at him with a big smile and said:

"I'm glad to be coming back, and I'm really happy that you're joining me, captain."

Levi couldn't have imagined how much she had dreamed of introducing him to her father, or inviting him to dinner back then, but he thought it was kind of sweet for her to say that.

She kept looking outside the window with a tender smile. Although the sky was gray, the field looked incredibly green, and a couple of houses could be seen in the distance. She had walked that road so many times… At one side of it, Petra's house started to appear on the horizon, and she saw the figure of a man running towards them. Levi quickly catched the change in her expression, but it was too late. Petra opened the door of the carriage and jumped out while it was still moving.

"OI, PETRA!" He screamed as he jumped behind her.

When he hit the ground, he saw her running towards his father, who was already starting to lose his breath. He stayed still next to the carriage that had already stopped by then, and told the driver to leave. From afar, Levi saw Petra hug her father who seemed just as nervous as the first time he saw him. He started walking slowly towards them, noticing that they were both crying. He decided to remain just as far enough to listen without interrupting.

"My girl! my girl I can't believe it… You don't know it, everyday… everyday I've missed you so much!" He batherly could keep himself standing between his daughter's arms as he cried inconsolably.

"I'm so so sorry papa, but you couldn't know… I couldn't let anything happen to you. I am so sorry. I am fine…"

Levi felt displaced as he watched them. It was obvious that the two had a bond he had never been able to experience.

"Look papa, I've come with captain Levi, he's in charge of my safety for the day… He offered himself to bring me home."

"Ah… Hello, captain… I remember him from that time yeah…" He had just realized Levi was there, and tried his best to welcome him despite being a mess of emotions.

"Hi." Levi answered, visibly uncomfortable. He had always been awkward, but this time he really didn't know how to react. When Petra died, he couldn't mutter a single word while he tried to speak with him, it was someone else who had told him… All of these things he didn't talk with Petra, who looked at him rather surprised to learn that they've met before.

"Ah… I- I didn't know that!" She was unable to lie, but tried to seem chill about it, because she knew that her father was… well… prone to embarrass her, even when he bore the best of wills.

"I've been waiting for you since morning! I didn't have much at home but I told the people of the village you were coming and they brought a lot of stuff! Oh Petra, they're all crazy to see you…"

Petra's nerves shot up. "Dad! You weren't supposed to tell anyone." She looked at Levi fearing for his reaction.

"I- ugh… Yeah, but when they asked what happened, when they saw me… I couldn't- "

"Unbelievable. We'll let this pass for now, but you need to understand you're endangering her by revealing her location." Levi cut him.

Petra's father was visibly affected by his words.

"Don't worry captain, I'm sure that If he talks with the people around here, they won't say a word. These are all trustworthy people, and there aren't much of us." Petra tried to reassure him.

"You're right! I will ask them as soon as possible, if your captain is okay…"

"Fine." Levi said in defeat. There wasn't much he could do given the situation.

"Please, come inside home!" He said without letting go of his daughter. "You too, captain Levi, I've been told about your mannerisms, and I can assure you that the house is spotless!"

Levi was surprised to find out how much information Petra had been delivering to her father, while her face started to burn bright red.

"Papa! Please, don't say those things. I am sorry captain!" They turned around and started walking towards their place, as Petra keeped to reprimand her father in a lowerer tone for his comment.

The little farm was surely adorable, a place someone would imagine Petra coming from. The interior received a good amount of natural light, and as soon as they entered, a table full of food awaited for them. Levi kept following them a couple steps behind.

"Oh, kids, you better not do this to me never again… I'm already old, and you've managed to take more years of my life." He said as he started to serve the table. "Please sit."

"There's no need papa, let me help you." Petra said as she rushed into the kitchen.

Levi, once again, sat there feeling awkward. These kinds of reunions weren't his thing at all, although it was nice to see them together once more. After bringing everything that was missing, they started to eat. Petra and his father talked effusively about whom in the village had brought each thing. As they conversated, Levi started to see how Petra slowly shifted into her more natural version. She sounded more youthful and sassy… The same version of her he always saw from afar whenever she was with her teammates. He thought it was nice to experience her like this, from up close, when she's unbothered by his presence.

"Ah… excuse my manners, Levi." Started Petra's father after realizing they were alienating him. "I don't think I've told you before, but my name is Elias."

Levi still didn't know how to include himself in the conversation, even after being addressed directly.

"Nice to meet you… I'm Levi Ackerman, although you seem to know a great deal about me already..."

Petra blushed at his remark, but she also was shocked to learn about that surname. It was the first time he gave away something like that.

"Oh! I thought you had another surname… Where are you from, Levi?"

"Papa, he doesn't really like to talk about him. How about you better update me on that bet you made with uncle Ben?" Petra tried to help Levi there, but he didn't care.

"I used to live underground. I didn't have much left there when I joined the Survey Corps by petition of the previous commander."

Petra's eyes widened, she had never seen him talk about his past, and was moved to finally learn something about him. It was obvious that he felt he had some kind of debt with them, why else would he feel the need to answer?

"I see… It must have been hard for you. Although I am glad you found your way out and became Petra's leader. From what she says… well… I think everyone at this point, your abilities are truly amazing, and you must be an exceptional leader if you've been able to inspire my girl like that."

Petra felt her face burning again. "Dad, could you please don't bring me up like that?…"

"Oh! But com'on, after that last letter you sent me, you left me truly worried. I even felt the need to discuss it with him…"

Petra's blood fell into her feet, he had done what?

"Dad, have you actually...?" She asked him, terrified of his answer.

"Ah, yes… I'm sorry, Petra. I just wanted him to know, so you wouldn't get hurt. You see... captain, that time I was concerned about her "devotion" to you."

Levi began to feel uncomfortable once more, as he started to become the total center of the conversation.

"DAD." Petra looked at him horrified, her face completely red. "I've already told you one hundred times, I wanted to devote myself to humankind. That was my dream." She continued, trying to downplay it.

"And you did! You even were chosen for his squad and that... mission… But you have to admit there was very little "humanity" and a lot of "Levi" in there… Well, there always was" Elias said, progressively lowering his tone.

Petra thought she was going to literally die, as Levi remained quiet on the other side of the table. She needed to find a way out of that conversation as soon as possible, but her father was, once again, faster.

"I didn't want to lose you. That 's all… Ever since you joined the Survey Corps... You know how high the mortality is there. I always knew you were strong Petra, but I also wanted you to get a chance in life. Something, more… I prayed for you to come back every time. But suddenly, you started to talk about him. At the beginning it was a character more in the stories of your letters, but suddenly, he dragged you. All you wanted to do was to serve by his side, you were willing to die for him, and for a long time, Petra, I thought you did."

Levi's stoic expression began to crack.

"You're my only child. The absolute light of my life, and I had to live with the thought of you being eaten alive every day. I wanted for you to get through that to then come home, and to finally be able to put it to rest. I never wanted to pressure you to lead a life you didn't want... But one day, you found out there your reason to live, and to die, and I couldn't do anything... The way you talked about him… I knew you weren't coming back."

Petra's eyes softened, visibly moved by her father's words. She knew it must have been hard for him to endure, and, after all, he had guessed her feelings perfectly… At the same time, Levi was thinking back again about that day, when Elias approached him for the first time.

He had always known Petra to be kind, so he didn't feel that he was an exception. He thought that she probably was able to read people's feelings, and wanted to show them her understanding, just as she had done for so many comrades. It wasn't until that talk that he dared to think, for the first time, that she had loved him. With the passage of time, he started to think that pain had played a trick on him back then, and that it had only been the words of a concerned father, but now his suspicions resurrected.

"Back then…" Levi started. "Were you going to ask me to marry her?"

Petra turned his head violently towards her captain, who was now directly looking at her father. Elias lowered his gaze, not wanting to embarrass his daughter any further. Petra then got up, visibly frustrated at the two of them.

"I'm going to say this only once, so you both listen to me carefully." She said with a fiery look on her eyes. "My personal feelings are not of your concern, you listen? I'm not letting an intimate confession come in the way of all my work, and my sacrifice."

That last remark tingled Levi's senses, he knew that was for him.

"Everything I did, I did as a soldier, as a companion, and as a friend. Nothing more. I don't need for you to take responsibility for how I feel. If I want to believe in someone, then I will, and If I want to marry them, I can ask them myself."

Both men sat in silence, as Petra took complete control over that conversation. Her words sounded strong and disciplined, once again demonstrating the incredible determination that she possessed, even when she was in such a vulnerable moment. Levi knew perfectly well that she was capable of taking charge of her feelings, after all, that had been one of the reasons he chose her in the first place.

"Good for me then, Petra." He told her, respecting her decision to end the matter there.

"You're right… Please forgive me." Said Elias, shortly after.

"You guys should try this apple pie! Ilse's sweets are always good." Petra spoke once again, putting the best face she could to lighten the mood.

In a short time, the intensity of the atmosphere began to dissipate, leading to something more festive. The three of them struck up simpler conversations as the hours passed. Levi watched them surprisingly relaxed, thinking about how such a gloomy memory could have led to such a funny scene.

Once finished, Petra insisted on helping her father with some farm work. Levi knew the carriage would be picking them up shortly, but he decided to let it pass. When the driver arrived, he gestured for him to turn around, leaving Petra and Elias to enjoy a few more hours together. Later, he himself would accompany her on foot to the barracks.

The hours went by as Petra and her father happily shared their tasks. Elias had been the third person who had found himself doing things alone since that day... But right now, they had each other again. Levi decided to help them too, looking from afar the family that would've welcomed him.

Chapter 4: A last chance

Summary:

Levi has done everything he can to give her this day. His last favor? To let her enjoy the walk back, even if it comes with an unexpected ending ... Once they've returned, Petra will have the opportunity to meet with Eren, with whom she now shares a common destiny.

Notes:

Here's the fourth chapter of Digging up a grave! I posted the previous one today as well. From now on, I will have less time to write, so I will upload chapters about once a week. I hope you like it! 3

Chapter Text

The afternoon was passing without major incidents. Some people showed up at the farmhouse to see Petra, resulting in a great deal of tears. Levi kept his distance from them, watching everything from the railing of the orchard. Every once in a while a few single words would come to him ... "Is that Captain Levi?" Some asked. "Girl, you will stay a couple days at least, right?" Others begged. Petra responded with kindness and great diplomacy to all their questions, without breaking the hugs she continued to receive from her father.

Taking advantage of the fact that Elias was busy talking to the neighbors, Petra took the opportunity to go check on Levi. She came running across the field, and by seeing her, Levi could easily visualize how her childhood could've been.

"Captain!" She yelled as she arrived. "I don't like to see you here all alone, you can come ... These people won't bother you much."

"We should be going now… We're already going to be later than expected."

Petra felt a little bit saddened, but she knew that Levi had been stretching this as long as he could for her.

"I know… I'll go tell my father."

"You're already going?" Said Elias, who was already approaching them. "I really wanted you to stay… I don't want to see you go so early once more."

"Don't worry, papa. I won't be fighting for now, so you don't have anything to fear. I promise you I will come to visit everytime I can! I'll keep writing to you!" She tried to console him as she hugged him again. "I'm really lucky to be back…" She said, as tears came into her eyes.

"I'm glad to see you too, darling. Please, captain Levi, keep taking care of her."

"Don't worry…" He lied, knowing that her time was running out, no matter what he did...

Finally, they said goodbye at the front door, but not before Elias gave them a bag full of black tea and some vegetables. It was bittersweet to see the man standing in the middle of the road, watching his daughter leave again, although Petra would turn from time to time to wave at him.

"Thank you for taking me home… I am sorry that it got kind of weird, but I had a really great time." She told Levi when they had been walking for a while.

"You don't have to thank me... You need to enjoy it while you're still here." He answered her.

"I know this is hard for you, but I wish you would take those ideas out of your head for now, so you can enjoy while I'm here as well."

Levi raised his pupils to meet her eyes. She was right, although he couldn't help but fear losing her again.

"What I mean is, that I hope this doesn't change anything." Petra told him, without wanting to miss a moment of his gaze.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He was playing dumb, knowing it was better for both that way.

Petra smiled. She could read him like an opened book. Levi also knew perfectly well that she could guess him easily, but he didn't care. He never intended to hide from her, anyway.

Petra sighted as they made their way back, she had wondered why Levi sent de carriage back instead of telling the driver to wait. Now they had a good way to go, and it was beginning to get dark. Although if he had risked doing so, it was because he had no doubt that they would be safe. She then remembered telling him that she wanted to get some fresh air back in her cell, maybe that was why.

"You really do listen to me, don't you?" She ventured to tell him.

"Isn't that what I'm supposed to do." Levi replied.

Elias wasn't the only Ral who could read between lines, he thought.

They kept walking as the night fell on them. From time to time, they exchanged a few words, especially topics related to the army and recent events. Petra felt that her limbs had become lighter, the visit and the walk had managed to clear her mind. Besides, she had spent a whole day with Levi. It didn't even affect her that much that she had to half confess her feelings.

Luckily, they reached the city before it was fully dark, so when the night sky fell on them, some street lights still allowed them to see their path. The temperature dropped drastically, and soon it started raining. What had started out as a pleasant walk, quickly turned into a fiasco as the intensity of the rain intensified. They were in a fairly residential area, without much place to shelter. Realizing that walking through that storm was not the best idea, Petra pointed to a small covered portal, where they decided to stay until it subsided.

"Let 's go!" She told him, before running towards it, visibly amused by the situation. Levi followed her, concerned about her wet cleavage, fearing it would result in some fever. She hopped under the small space while trying to leave enough room for him as well. He then tried to accommodate himself next to her, while running his fingers through his wet hair. Petra glanced at him, thinking that her day had definitely improved…

They stood very close to each other under the ledge. The street was already deserted by those hours, and anyone who had seen them from afar, would have thought they were a lovely couple having fun.

The space was so small that Petra had to stand on her tiptoes to fit. Levi wondered if he should grab her waist to help her balance, as an excuse if only. Once he made up his mind, his gesture was gentle, stopping her swaying by putting his arm around her.

Petra had to make sure that that was really happening. She felt her nerves tingling through her body at full speed, and her cheeks lit up for the tenth time that day. Shyly, she placed her hands on him for more comfort. Had she turned her head towards him in that moment, their faces would have been millimeters apart.

"Breathe." He told her after a while.

Petra's heart skipped a beat when she realized that she had indeed stopped breathing. She looked at the empty streets and the closed shops, while she felt his warmth, having the certainty that she would treasure that moment forever. Levi began to regret his decision as he became slightly flustered, but he could sense that she was enjoying the moment serenely, which brought some peace to himself as well. They held each other for the next few minutes, and as the intensity of the rain decreased, their hearts raced a bit more.

Then, perhaps carried away by the tenderness of the moment, Petra turned to him with complete confidence. "We should continue walking, it has stopped a bit. " She spoke softly to his ear. At least by saying that, she didn't feel like she was forcing him to stay like that...

"We'll really have to walk these muddy streets, don't we?", he answered, without moving in the slightest...

Petra's chest burned with excitement... Did he really just dodge her suggestion there?

They stayed there in silence, as they came to the realization that they both wanted to be like that. Petra debated whether to risk it and fully lean on him, although she knew it was entirely inappropriate, especially considering that he was there as her bodyguard mainly…

"Let 's go."

With those words Levi snapped Petra out of her reverie. Her spirits deflated as he released her, watching him leap down onto the street. Petra stayed up there for a few more seconds, still clinging to what had happened before. Levi yanked his jacket back, almost being able to feel her gaze in his back. Petra's eyes focused on the collar of his shirt, his neck, and the gradual trim on his messy wet hair. She swallowed hard, dying for something more...

As she slowly perished, Levi turned around and said, "Are you going to come, or are you going to leave me here dripping? It's late."

"Oh. I'll leave you there."

Immediately, Petra got off the step and started walking in the rain, advancing him. The rain came like a blessing on her burning skin, while Levi began to follow her with confidence that he had screwed up. He couldn't believe his ears. When had she gotten that bold with him? In that moment Levi became aware of how much he had affected her. It was obvious enough already that something was going on between them. Certainly, he must have felt stupid. After everything they'd been through, he had still needed those ten minutes under that ledge to figure it out.

He accelerated his pace a little until he was next to her. When he reached, he looked at her profile... Her face was beautiful. They walked on in silence, confirming to each other that they had been partakers of a forbidden moment.

They continued their journey until they arrived at the back door of the barracks. Petra opened it and held it as her captain came in behind her. The space was narrow, communicating directly with the stairs that went up to a higher level. Levi closed the door behind him, while Petra waited. For a moment, they stood next to each other in the orange light. He took off his jacket while she hugged herself, shivering.

They both knew that this was their last chance, and she hoped he would…

Levi started walking up the stairs, breaking Petra's hopes once more. She was perfectly aware that she had been surpassing herself with him all day, and that she needed to stop. Her grief, and whatever was going down on her brain, had gotten into her. She was embarrassed to have defined herself as a disciplined soldier back at her place, to now be acting like that.

However, when she was ready to follow him, Levi's initially determined pace slowed down, stopping about five steps later. Petra looked up in disbelief, as he turned to face her, slightly frustrated with himself.

Petra gently dropped her arms to her sides, ready for what was about to come. The hardness in Levi's expression faltered as his strength drained. Leaving the mask that had hidden his fears as transparent as crystal. Unable to stop looking at her, he made the pretense of diving down the stairs-

"HI GUYS IT'S LATE! WE WERE WORRIED HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?" Hange screams down the hall cut him bluntly. The moment broke, and they both regained their composure. Hange's presence had finally brought them back to the Survey Corps, making them feel exposed for the decision they were about to make seconds ago.

"Were you waiting for us, shitty glasses?" Levi tried to sound normal as he gathered himself in shame.

"Ooh, what kind of welcoming is that? It's my job to make sure that you bring her back safely! How's your father, Petra?" Said Hange as they appeared from the stairwell.

Petra, who had by then hugged herself again, replied, "ah- He's fine. He really had a rough time… It was great to see him."

The commander rapidly realized something was off with them both, but they let it slip, not before throwing a look of terrifying intelligence at Levi. He caught their reprimand at once, wondering to himself how much could they have figured out… After all, Levi knew he had taken the liberty to send back an empty carriage so Petra could breathe a little more.

"Well, I'm glad you both guys are back, please head back to your rooms, it's late."

Hange sounded as carefree as usual, but it was obvious that they had talked to them as two young cadets… Levi let out a frustrated "tsk" before continuing his way. They went to their dorms without saying goodbye, tortured by the memory of the surreal night they had gone through.

After Petra entered her room, she took her dress slowly. It still smelled like him. It felt weird to see it outside her body. That was the dress he had chosen specifically for her, the one she wore while he held her…. The wet fabric started to materialize before her eyes everything she had lived through the past few hours. She put on her borrowed nightgown, and proceeded to sit on the edge of her bed, incapable of lying down without knowing what would have happened if Hange hadn't interrupted them. That horrible heat didn't seem to leave her skin, making her think that perhaps she had caught fever.

Finally, knowing that she was not going to be able to sleep at the moment, she decided to leave her room. While she was doing it, she was not sure where she was heading, perhaps to get a glass of water, or perhaps to Levi's room... To clarify the matter.

She went down the stairs, and passed through the hall where his room was located, but she didn't have the courage to knock on his door. Perhaps after she relaxed a bit she could try again, the captain hardly slept anyway. From the other side of the door, Levi heard her steps, wondering if he should go fetch her.

Petra came into the kitchen where they had tea that same morning. The metal lattice windows let in the moonlight, efficiently lighting the space. She proceeded to grab a glass of water and drank as she looked at the landscape between the bars. She heard footsteps approaching, and she stood up quickly, with her heart pounding, hoping it was Levi.

Finally, the sleepless face of Eren appeared through the door frame. Petra was stunned, though happy to see him again. Eren looked at her with those huge eyes that always gave away his feelings before he could even say a word.

"Petra…" He said unable to hide his astonishment. He had learned about her return, but it was a completely different thing to see it for himself.

Petra went up to him, and hugged him. Even she felt surprised to see how much seeing the boy had moved her. After all, he was with them that time...

"Hello, Eren… I'm so glad to see that you're fine." She said, trying to ease him with her greeting. Levi had told her he saw them die… She had told him to trust them, but she failed him.

Eren grabbed her by the arms, as tears came up to his eyes. "Petra… I am so sorry. I saw you…"

Petra saw the fear in his eyes… She still didn't fully know how things had gone down, and she felt herself shiver a bit after seeing the horror in his expression.

"I made the wrong choice… I wanted to trust you… and I couldn't stop Annie." His grip was so strong it began to hurt her. She saw something had changed within him as well, and it saddened her to realize how much he would've suffered during this time.

"You couldn't have known Eren. Plus there's no guarantee that we would've survived anyways. You had problems back then controlling your powers, and the captain told me you had a hard time during your first fight."

Eren felt totally impotent, and Petra felt terrible to make him relieve his trauma.

"I saw it, I saw you when the titan crushed you into a tree."

Petra's stomach clenched shut, followed by a terrible giddy feeling. Eren didn't know she wasn't aware of the details… There was the truth she craved.

"Isn't this power terrible, Petra? Look at us… Only an infernal force could do that to a person, and then undo it."

Her hands started to shake. That was the reason why she had returned, the power of a titan. She was transformed and then ate a human with that power as well... For the first time, Petra realized the magnitude of her burden. She could see it in Eren's eyes, there were things that he knew that she still couldn't even imagine.

"Eren, you need to focus. Please don't worry about us. We did everything we could, and I'm glad you trusted me, even though I ended up failing you too. Now there is nothing else we can do, just keep trying to make the right choices. Maybe I should have trusted you more that day, maybe it was my fault Eren... But now that I've been given another chance, I promise I won't fail their memory nor you ever again."

Years of experience had hardened her, and she had learned to draw courage from where there was none when the situation required it. Her words calmed Eren down a bit, which was a great achievement.

"Hey… Petra… You have your own titan now, isn't it? Do you see them?" Eren said, hideous terror reflected in his huge eyes once more.

Petra's expression shifted to worrisome. "I- I don't know what you mean…"

She then recalled her visions while she was in the forest, and those vivid nightmares. Maybe that was it.

"It's nothing. Nevermind." He brushed it off quickly, praying that she ignored his previous question so they wouldn't have to delve into it. Neither her nor Armin seemed to experience the same vivid memories he did, aside from some nightmares. After all, Eren himself couldn't remember his conversion for years.

"I'm just glad to see you again…"

As he said that last sentence, he reached out for a handshake. Petra felt a bit saddened when she saw how he tried to end their conversation there, but decided it was fine given his emotional state.

"Me too, Eren." She told him, reaching out to return his gesture. But when their hands touched, a small lighting came out of them, and suddenly they both saw the same vivid memory… An image that certainly couldn't be from the past. A promise that something was due to happen…

Petra and Eren stared into each other's eyes in fear. Time stopped as they realized the other knew. Eren's eyes became teary as his voice shaked, "No… Please, I can't-"

Levi interrupted them by opening the door abruptly, he had been listening to their conversation for a while, since he had finally decided to follow Petra.

"Hey you both it's late, time to go back to your dorms."

By the end of that sentence, he realized something was off. Petra turned to face the captain as white as a sheet.

"Y- yes sir, we'll be going now. It was nice to see you, Eren... It's fine." Petra gave Eren the warmest look she could, as he stared her back in utter terror. She lowered her gaze and left the room fastly, without even looking at Levi.

Levi saw that Eren held the same expression he gave after kissing Historia's hand ... He knew something was wrong with him, but why was Petra involved? Once the boy moderately regained his senses, he walked out the kitchen as well. Levi watched as they both went off in opposite directions, and decided to follow Petra once more, while keeping some distance. He couldn't let shit fly over his head with the given circumstances.

He saw her run upstairs and rush into her room, without even bothering to close the door. Adrenaline spiked through his body. What the hell had just happened? Maybe she had learned about their deaths in detail and felt sick, but his instincts told him there was something else.

Levi peeked out her door slightly, and saw Petra vomiting on the sink. After seeing her state, he decided to enter. She realized he was there, and turned to look at him for a thousandth of a second, before throwing up again.

"Did you find out?" He asked, in a softer tone than usual.

Petra started crying, bent over the sink, trying to stand up while hyperventilating. Levi froze. He hadn't seen her like that since their first mission together… But as she continued to cry, he realized that he had never seen her like that at all.

"I can't Levi." She called him by his name. "I don't want to die… It can't be, no- no- no please, not like that."

Levi couldn't move from where he standed. He knew what she was thinking about. As much as he wanted to reprimand her, to tell her to be brave, he had to admit it did torture him too.

He walked slowly towards her, and held her shaking body from behind. His grip made her cry even harder... How did she sink so low? How was she letting him see her like that? They slowly descended together until they reached the ground, Petra leaning on him, in deathly silence.

Chapter 5: Trust me

Summary:

"From personal experience, promises are no good, but they're necessary."

Notes:

Hello guys! Here's the fifth chapter of Digging up a grave. First of all, thank you once more for all the comments and kudos! The story might be a little longer than what I had originally planned, it almost writes itself alone... We're probably more than halfway through, and as you have seen, things are starting to blow up a bit! I also will be changing Hange's pronouns to they/them.

Enjoy 3

Chapter Text

Levi hugged Petra, leaning against the side of her bed, trying to calm her down. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the darkened room, and Levi had started stroking the back of her neck gently, fighting to not let her fear drag him down as well. He had sent many companions to die throughout his life, and it felt horrible to have to feel her like this, against him, so tender and fragile all of a sudden, knowing that he would have to ask her to die once more.

When she calmed down a bit, Petra pulled away from her captain's arms and went to wash her mouth. Levi remained silent, feeling responsible for that gesture ... Returning, Petra tried to maintain her composure, in an attempt to reclaim the pride she had left. She stood before him, searching for the right words to explain what had happened. Levi got up, and moved closer to her. He didn't want his presence to leave her, not even for a second.

"What have you seen?" He asked, giving her time to respond.

Petra swallowed, tensing her chest. "It will be Eren… I will pass my powers to him. I saw him eating me."

As she finished speaking, she tried to look at him in the eye, but failed. She felt such a coward. He had already explained to her how the process was going to go. There were more shifters on her position right now, younger than her even, and she was the one losing her shit over it. Levi couldn't help but to feel slightly enraged. He believed Eren to be their hope, they would've never reached this far without him, but he was beginning to get fed up with the trail of blood that was being left in his name.

"I guess this is one way to pay my debt. I've failed you all back then. Somehow, now I've been able to bring you the power of another titan, and I'll keep it until I can deliver it to him."

She really was worthy of admiration, Levi thought, but he hated to see her bend over her domed faith like that.

"You know…" She started once more. "When I joined the legion, I always knew this could happen. But it wasn't a certainty… There was a chance for me to survive. It's different to endure this after knowing that there's no way out, and having seen it... It's different from this side, isn't it?"

Levi felt like shit, but tried not to show it. He wasn't as good as Erwin when it came to motivating people to charge towards their deaths.

"There's still time. A lot of things have changed during these months. Not too long ago, you were dead already, and every possibility had been shut, but you're here now. I don't doubt your determination to die for our cause, but don't give your life that easy either. You should hold on. We might find a way to save you…" He tried to cheer her up, while also wishing to himself.

"You're right…" She drew a sad smile. "You know… You've always been able to bring out the best of me. That's one of the reasons I've always loved to work by your side."

Levi melted a little. Ever since she realized that death was closing in on her, Petra had lost the fear of speaking.

"I'm glad that you're by my side as well." He told her, and although his words sounded kind of dry, he really meant it.

Petra's mood lightened a bit, and she took her hands to her chest, as if she were trying to ease her affection. "Levi, about what happened today…"

His nerves raced. Whatever was about to go down on those stairs, it had been irresponsible of them. He couldn't get her out of his head. Ever since her return, his hyper-fixation on her had worsened, perhaps out of trauma. On the other hand, Petra was becoming a bit reckless, she had nothing else to lose after all. He didn't want to hurt her, but he couldn't let this go any further.

"I take responsibility for that."

That's all he could come out with. Levi wasn't even sure of what he was taking responsibility for. He didn't even know what he would have done once he had met her downstairs.

"For what exactly? What was that?" She asked.

"We are not going to dwell into that, Petra. It's the last thing we need right now."

She let out a strong sight, trying to keep her focus. His closeness had been driving her insane all day. She was afraid of seeing how much she was losing herself. She had never behaved like that before, all of this was making her lose her mind.

"I see, that's good. I'm fine already, so… Thank you for your help. You should go back and try to get some sleep, captain." She said as she started walking towards her bed.

"So, I'm back to being the captain?" Levi thought.

"Are you sure you don't need me to stay? You better not do anything stupid." He asked.

"Don't worry, I'm okay."

He looked at her for a moment, unconvinced... "You know what? That's for me to decide." He said as he sat on the chair on the corner of her dorm.

Petra looked at him slightly offended. "I won't be able to sleep, if you're staring at me from there!"

"Shut up."

Uncomfortable as she was, Petra closed her eyes and tried to recreate in her imagination the feeling of his fingers when he caressed the back of her neck. Once in a while, she opened her eyes to look at him, and saw him sitting with his eyes shut and his arms crossed over his chest. After a while, she got up slowly and walked towards her wardrobe.

"What are you doing?" He asked, without opening his eyes.

Petra winced a bit after realizing he wasn't sleeping. "I'm reaching for a blanket." She spoke softly. She grabbed it from the top shelves and then proceeded to place the fabric delicately over him.

"I will never understand how you're able to perform that nicely with these sleeping habits of yours…" Petra turned back to her bed, happy to have been able to grasp another interaction with him. Levi thought of some blunt answer, but decided to keep his pouty mouth shut this time. When they started to work together, he often had found himself feeling guilty for snapping at her automatically, as a result of his defense mechanism. With the passing of time, he had grown to behave himself around her, for he had learned that her words never intended to harm him.

xxxxxxxxxx

Hours passed, and they were finally able to get some sleep. Before long, the dawn light began to shine through the window, awaking Levi. Without making any noise, he checked on Petra once before leaving her room.

He started his routine going downstairs. On his way, Levi passed the commander's office. He knocked softly on the door before entering, and saw Hange hiding a bottle in the drawer.

"A tough night for you too?" He asked, pretending to not have seen it.

"Yeah, I guess…" She was visibly exhausted, and the desk was a whole mess. "Erwin kept this place much more pleasant. Wonder how he did that… " They laughed, incorporating themselves. "Anyways, what's the matter?"

Levi approached the desk and sat in front of them, letting Hange know that he accompanied them in their turmoils.

"Yesterday, Eren and Petra met. I listened to them from a distance, and it seems that they were able to see something, from the future. Petra told me she saw Eren eating her." Hange stared at him very seriously, with their hands covering their lips.

"Well… At least she's talking to you. Eren hasn't muttered a word so far about these memories. He might say something once in a while, but he surely is keeping more to himself… Is she alright?"

"Yes. She's willing to do it."

"You weren't in your room last night." Hange said, sending rushes of cold down Levi's back.

"I kept taking care of her. At first, she was very upset, and I feared that she was going to do something about it on her own." He said, keeping his serious expression.

"We both know you trust her better than that." Hange replied, leaning towards him once more. "I need to be able to keep trusting you too, Levi, so please, don't keep things from me. If this is too much for you, tell me."

Levi's small eyes opened. He lowered his head, realizing that Hange needed him as much as Petra. He knew he could share everything with them, but there were things he was afraid to admit even to himself.

"Don't worry. We're both just a little tired. You can count on me." He told them.

"Glad to know it, because I am thinking about trying Petra's titan... We will ask for her consent first, of course. There's a chance that they don't even know much about her powers either. After all, why wouldn't they transform one of our soldiers if not as a guinea pig. We should take the lead, and find out for ourselves. We might need her abilities later."

Levi remained in silence for a second… "What if she gets fucked up?"

"Eren will devour her, and her vision will come true... But now that she has seen her death, she might be able to tell us if he ate her as a human, or as a titan. That way we can make sure she will be able to come back. If she saw something that might indicate this will fail, we'll drop the idea… So, will you ask her, Levi?"

Levi's jaw clenched, knowing that this might save her later on, or kill her right away. "I will talk with her."

"Thank you, Levi. I feel like shit for asking you to do this." Hange sighted.

"Don't worry. If Petra hasn't lost her conviction after all of this, she probably never will." As he said this, Levi headed out the office.

xxxxxxxxxx

Petra's head hurt a bit from all the crying. Her mornings were still hard, but she tried her best to keep on doing her little tasks. She was in the communal dining room when Levi entered. When she saw him, she automatically suspected something was wrong. His gaze was grim, and his hands were hidden in the pockets of his long uniform raincoat, something he always did when he got nervous. Petra had learned to read his gestures a long time ago, and she loved to get a little head start on that.

"Good morning, captain Levi. Were you able to rest a bit?"

"Yes…. Good morning, Petra. We need to talk. You're going to rejoin us."

"Oh! Oh…" Petra's body tensed as she cracked the meaning behind his words. "Were you able to find something out?"

"No… But Hange asked me if you'd be willing to test your titan regardless. We're pretty much ready, we just need your consent, and to know exactly what you saw in your vision. When Eren ate you, were you a human or a titan?"

"Human."

Levi sighed, half relieved. "Did you see anything that might indicate to us that it might take place during the test?"

"You're planning for him to eat me if I fail?"

Levi realized he wasn't putting it correctly. By hiding the nasty parts, he made it seem as if he was lying to her.

"No. That would only be if you aren't able to come back. Let's say, if your body gets fused with the titan. That's why we want to ask for your consent first, and to know in more detail what you saw."

"Then I should be the one making the questions, don't you think? You tell me what you have in mind, and then I tell you if it fits with my vision. Altering details only to not make the scenery match, won't change anything." Petra sounded heavily decided. She was applying his advice, and was thinking about not giving her life away that easily.

"We have been exterminating all the titans left outside these walls. We'll be going outside soon, and you will be joining us. We will take the chance there to try your powers in the open. If you go berserk, I will take you out myself. If you can't be taken out, Eren will eat you. That's the deal."

Petra took a deep breath. "I will do it. It doesn't match."

Levi's shoulders softened a bit, hoping for her to be right. She hadn't doubted for a second.

Petra raised her hand and looked at it from up close, remembering when she tried to imitate Eren by biting it. She did it so hard, she left a mark in there for days. She couldn't have imagined back then...

"When are we going, captain?"

"I'll let you know soon."

She was excited to be back. She was born a fighter, and her body craved the effort, the harsh training. Levi thought of asking her what she had seen exactly once more.

"So… Will I be joining your squad?" She overtook him.

"For now, you might. You're one of the few experienced soldiers left, and after the recent events, you can be considered a veteran in comparison to the rest. If the experiments carry out well, you might be having a squad of your own."

Petra took a few moments to absorb his words. Was she going to be promoted? She couldn't help but feel proud, although she was disappointed to think that they weren't going to be as close.

"Ah- I'm surprised. Thank you! I will be doing my best..." She blushed a little, she couldn't stop talking as a subordinate. She had always been good with teammate work, but wasn't sure of how much of a leader she actually was. Petra had to start to psych herself up and change her patterns. Was she trustworthy enough? After all, she had died with her squad after pushing Eren to make the wrong choice…

"Do you think people will follow a dead soldier?" She asked him.

"Even the best of them die, Petra. You're the only one here who has already given her life once, and still you've found the courage to fight again. Isn't that conviction strong enough?"

"Would you trust me, Levi? If I promise you to come back, and succeed with these experiments?"

"From personal experience, promises are no good, but they're necessary." He answered, remembering his promise to Erwin of killing the beast titan. He had failed, but hadn't he trusted him, they wouldn't have had a chance.

"So yes, I trust you, Petra."

Her chest rejoiced with pride, she needed to hear that. That was all she needed to redeem herself. Levi looked into her eyes, as she smiled at him, while something else flourished inside him. Petra noticed something on his look, making her cheeks rosier. She was so fascinating at that moment. He couldn't help but to admire how far she had come since they met. Had she guessed his feelings, Petra would have had another reason to celebrate. To know that he admired her as well…

"Now let's pick up this mess, and then we're going to get your uniform." He told her, taking a ball of paper some cadet had left over the table and throwing it at her. She was caught off guard, and instead of catching it, it hit her in the chest. She was a bit too thrilled, and failed to realize he didn't intend to do so. Without losing a glimpse, she threw the ball back at him.

"Hey!" She said as the ball hit Levi's shoulder. Amused by her spontaneity, he took it back and threw it once more at her. At this point she was cracking a bit, and continued to throw it once more, but he caught it close to her hand. They continued fighting for the ball until they were holding hands. His fingertips felt tender on her hand, and he smiled at her. Levi knew he was the first to put up barriers, but it still made him happy to see her overcome them. Petra's eyes overflowed at his view, letting his smile travel all the way down to her heart.

"Thank you." She told him, without letting him go.

His thumb moved a bit, delicately caressing hers for a moment. Petra thought it might have been a little spasm, but with the second touch her heart stopped. Her breathing became heavier, as he slowly approached her. They got so co close, she could feel the tips of his bangs raining on her face. That's when Levi finally kissed her. It was just for a brief moment. Fearing to be seen, he trapped her lips between his, softening her so much that she felt her mind melt into his warmth.

Before Petra could get out of her amazement, he had already pulled away from her, looking away uncomfortably. Her brow furrowed, seeking his gaze back. Seeing his sudden rejection, her eyes began to get a bit teary.

"Didn't you tell me we weren't going to dwell into this?" She scolded him.

"No shit, Petra." He snapped in frustration, instantly regretting it.

Two cadets entered the room, leaving them in silence. They were Jean and Connie, whose conversation was cut off momentarily when seeing that Levi was there. Fearing his reaction, they nodded in greeting to the couple, and sat in a corner at the back.

"We should get going." She told him, trying to hide in her tone the pain he had caused her. They left the room in silence, followed by Connie's gaze. In the corridor, they crossed more people, being forced to put the matter to rest. Petra followed him through the halls, until they reached the warehouse where the 3d maneuver gears and some uniforms were kept. Their chests ached as they went on with their duty, as if nothing had happened.

"We are in the process of changing the traditional model, some soldiers are already using the new equipment, and you should get into the habit too." Levi said.

"Sure. I think I can fit myself from here…" She answered.

"Petra..." Goosebumps rose on her skin. "Don't tell me what to do."

With those harsh words, Levi refused her false courtesy.

Petra glanced at him over her shoulder, tempted to show her irritation. She thought about stripping down right there. If he wanted to stay so badly, she would change herself in front of him. She took a deep breath, wondering if she really was about to do that.

She took off her woolen cardigan, laying it on the gas tanks. Levi lifted his chin slightly, sensing her plan. However, Petra's shyness prevented her from carrying out such impudence. She made his way to the bottom, and began searching through the smallest straps that might fit her.

Meanwhile, Petra thought she should be thriving. Levi had shown interest in her, and had even gone far enough to kiss her… Back then, she would have been content with his approval, but now nothing seemed to be enough, not with that fire burning in her gut. She couldn't help but feel that a part of her had always been right, it had to be him.

Levi found himself standing alone, not knowing what to do. He had always been able to stifle his feelings. He had embraced the harshness of the world, and turned his loneliness into a useful tool that made him a suitable sacrifice for humanity. He had never been interested in love, nor did he ever become used to human contact, but after all these years, Petra's closeness had made his armor tremble. Why did everything he did seem to lead nowhere, despite being known as humanity's strongest?

All these years fighting and the recent events were beginning to wear him down, despite having been an example of staunch discipline. What was left for them? Was it too bad to indulge into each for once?

Once Petra gathered her things, she headed for the door. Before leaving, she stopped before him and said:

"I intend to keep my promise. I'll get off the titan."

Chapter 6: Truce

Summary:

Petra prepares to rejoin the Survey Corps, keeping in mind her future tests with the titan. After her last meeting with Levi, things have gotten complicated. However, the captain will find an excuse that will allow them to debate their true thoughts. Getting rid of guilt through pain is an option, although it might be worth it to focus on what could be...

Notes:

Hi guys! Here's the sixth chapter.

It has about the same length as the previous ones, but due to its content, I've decided to post it directly on Ao3 (I usually upload it on tumblr as well). This chapter will force me to change the rating a bit. I wasn't originally planning for it, but things are unfolding this way I guess… I hope this can bring you some entertainment. Lots of love! 3

Chapter Text

"We're almost ready," he had told her, but the weeks had begun to pass. They were overwhelmed with work, so Petra ended up deducing that she had overestimated the proximity of the tests.

Eitherway, she had rejoined the corps, and had been spending much of her time training. She had also been testing the new equipment derived from the national police. Petra hadn't quite gotten used to it, especially to the idea of firearms… She had been told that, from now on, most of her enemies would be human, so they had increased the hours dedicated to shooting and self defense. The idea horrified her, she had no problem making titans bite the dust, but she had never killed anyone …

During her training and free hours, she had started bonding with her peers. The truth is that it was very easy, her personality was charming, and her talent spoke for itself. Soon, a lot of recruits started to wish they could be part of her future squad. "Don't let them get soft, especially if they're going to follow you", Levi had told her, knowing that she tended to help them a little too much.

The atmosphere between them was somewhat tense, although it was obvious that he sought her out at times. Petra had decided to focus like a beast on her mission, leaving Levi as little space as possible in her mind. So, one afternoon of training, all the soldiers turned to watch how the captain challenged her to close combat.

They were aware that Petra would soon cease to be his direct subordinate, which didn't mean that Levi wouldn't continue to take charge of keeping her in shape. It was strange to see them fighting with their fists draped like that. He gave her some advantage, so that she could fine-tune her movements, occasionally making her fall. Petra used to do this with Oluo, winning time after time. She missed him ... It was different fighting with Levi, especially since his closeness softened her. It was his way of showing that he still cared, but a part of her couldn't help but feel humiliated, wishing she had enough skill to throw him down too.

During her days off, she had gone to visit her father. One time Jean and Connie had accompanied her, with whom she had hit it off as well. During her third visit, she got permission to pass the night there, and spent the whole night crying on her father's lap. She confessed that everything he had suspected was true, and told him what had happened with Levi. Her father stroked her hair like when she was little, encouraging her to talk about it.

She also found an opportunity to speak with Armin, Eren and Mikasa, with whom she shared a special bond due to their powers... She quickly realized that Eren hadn't told them anything, and whenever they were together, he pretended as if nothing had happened.

"Eren, you know that I understand you, right? You can count on me ..." She told him one evening returning to the barracks.

"Petra, I appreciate it, but you don't ..."

"Then make me! Aren't we tied now, anyways?"

"When it's due, I promise I will, but, for now, I want you to be happy, please…"

She thought that everything seemed to alienate her, in one way or another. Eren and Petra kept walking until they caught up with the rest of the group that was starting to enter the building, when Levi suddenly came out.

"Oh! Captain, where are you going just now?" Connie asked.

"Maybe I'll go to have a drink..." He said, looking at Petra.

They all turned to look at her, who nodded in agreement… She knew they would've to eventually have a talk, especially since she had been avoiding him like crazy. She felt bad about it, but cringed every time she remembered their past encounters.

Petra had chosen her own outfit that time, something more "masculine". She had been experimenting with new facets of herself, trying to find the new version that could put her through this. She was wearing a white shirt rolled up, brown pants and a jacket.

Levi looked at her. It seemed that she had updated herself... Everything was changing, including Petra.

They walked next to each other. She tried to be nice as usual, and they exchanged some opinions about her new teammates. Levi decided that it would be better if they visited a discreet tavern, somewhere they wouldn't grab much attention. They arrived at a small local lost within the center of the city. The allway was dark, illuminated mainly by the light that came from inside the bar.

Three men were talking in the entrance, glasses on their hands, and they all turned to look at the woman walking towards them. Levi frowned at the sight, just as one of them became aware of his presence, instantly recognizing him.

"Oh! Captain Levi! How unexpected to meet you around here. We are all very grateful to you ... I see you have company too." Said the tallest of the group. He was slightly overweight, and had a dark mustache covering his sharp lips. As he spoke, his eyes swept over Petra once more. Levi was already unhinged and ready to shut him down, but Petra was quicker.

"Wow, you are really popular around here, Captain ..." She said, ending the conflict before it could begin.

"Oh, so you're in the military too. Is it a job outing then?" Said the man, alerting Levi's menacing gaze.

"That's right. So if you guys are so nice, surely the captain would also like to disconnect a bit from all this, you know ..." Petra said confidently.

"Of course, whatever for the lady." The same man replied, proving how much he could tempt the little man before he broke his neck. He then pulled a silver cigar case out of his pocket, a subtle display of his well-being position, not only because of the expensive material, but because tobacco itself was already considered a luxury product within the walls. He opened it and offered one to Petra. She raised her eyebrows and drew a small smile, accepting his offer. She was receptive, though her demeanor was certainly alert.

"Are you sure you're fast enough to pick up one of those?" Levi said, quite pissed off.

"I ... regenerate, you know?" She whispered back.

Damn, he thought. He had forgotten that she wasn't normal anymore, and she surely was becoming a match for him.

Another man helped Petra lighting her cigarette, and immediately afterwards, she climbed the step entering the bar, leaving the group of gentlemen waiting for a farewell. Levi followed her to the back of the tavern, and they sat in a small wooden cubicle. They decided to order a bottle of whiskey so they could serve the rounds themselves, creating an environment of adequate privacy. The smell of tobacco unnerved Levi a bit, it reminded him of Kenny. He recalled for a moment how his uncle always had found a way to his vices, no matter the price...

Petra smoked calmly, it wasn't her first time. Levi couldn't help but imagine her secretly coughing with some recruits one night during her trainee years. Levi poured the glasses without stopping to look at her. Petra thanked him, grabbed her own and gulped it down.

"Are you going to regenerate from that too? Calm down." He told her nonchalantly.

"I'm going to need it, if we're going to have this conversation." She answered, leaning towards the table and holding the cigarette between her fingers.

"So she's nervous" ... Levi thought. Surely that was the reason why she had been behaving that way. She dodged him, leaving the barracks every time she was minimally free, and now was smoking the cigar that a slimy old man had offered her.

Levi raised his glass, maybe he was going to need it too. "I want to start." He told her. "It was a huge shit. I don't want to hurt you, but you know this well enough... We're not in the situation."

Petra raised her eyebrows, absolutely prepared for that comment. She poured herself another glass, somewhat frustrated. It was strange, it was the first time she felt this way about him. She wanted to be the one to blurt him out this time, but, at the same time, she loved him, she didn't want to hurt him. Petra just wanted to gut herself before Levi, to let him see everything. She wanted to print each one of her feelings on him.

"Captain." She squeezed her eyes shut, and shook her head. "Levi, if you want to start talking, how about you tell me something different?" She'd had a hard time saying that, and couldn't help but feel awful. "I'm making it difficult for you, right?" She continued, softer.

"Then stop it." He answered.

"There you go... You're softening the sharp edges for me, you don't treat me the same. I can tell. This is messing with you as much as it does with me." It was obvious by her tone that she was very affected.

Petra took a drag on her cigar, trying not to sound like a jilted madwoman. "You pity me. That's why you do it. Ever since I died, and until I get out of that damn titan, I'm nothing more than a ghost. Before, you had chosen me for my work, for who I was, you believed in me because I was living for this. Now, I'm ... the dead girl who wanted to marry you."

Levi listened in silence. He would swallow each one of her replicas. She was right, and while he was doing it, he knew he was doing nothing but proving her point further. He also felt pissed. Deep down he wanted for them to fight, he wanted to purge all the guilt from him by letting her hurt him. She was putting a mirror in his face, and her words were sending him on a hell trip.

"Things would be easier without me. I can't help but think that, deep down, you would rather have me gone."

The tension broke. She was terrified to say those words out loud, but if she had been completely honest, sometimes she wondered if she preferred herself gone as well. Petra took another drag, and her hand began shaking slightly.

Levi stared at her with wide eyes and a shattered chest. Quickly, he caught her by her raised wrist. Her honesty had hurted him greatly, and he felt the sudden impulse to open himself too.

"You've lost your fucking mind. You're fucking gone, you're already gone, and I fucking hate it. Every time I look at you I see you dead in the forest, or in Eren's mouth... But I can't hate you, I can't hold you by the neck and tell you to fucking hold on. Right now, I don't know what you are. Whatever you were hiding from me, now I have to see it. But if you think I'm going around there doing fucking charity you're very wrong. You want me to treat you like shit? Do you want me to hurt you for real? Then let's fucking go, I'll kiss you again."

Levi spoke in a low tone, but aggressiveness drew each of his words. An anger and pain that were not directed at her, but at the black abyss that gnawed at him every day.

Petra sighed in relief. There was something terribly peaceful about hearing the truth. Levi let her go slowly, and crossed his hands in front of his face, resting his head on them, tormented by her words, and his own.

"I am sorry… I-... I wanted for you to break my heart so badly. I know I'm being selfish, but I needed something to be easier for once. I needed for you to help me to stop loving you." She told him, on the verge of tears.

"Fuck off, Petra. I can't." He answered, although his voice cracked a bit. "Is that all?"

Petra's hands were cold… Her words seemed so big inside her head, but that was it. For some reason their talk felt anticlimactic. Even after telling him the truth, she couldn't find a way to feel better.

"Let's get out of here." He told her, frustrated after seeing that she wasn't going to respond.

Levi got up, not without pouring another glass and drinking it at once. Petra saw that his eyes were redish, although he tried his best to hide it. She looked lifeless on her seat, but eventually put out her cigarette and followed him. On their way out, the group of men were still there, but they both ignored their calls.

They walked fast, half hating each other for what they have put themselves through. Once they were far enough, Petra stopped him and held his arm, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I don't want for us to end up like this… I still need you, in other ways." She said.

Levi's dark circles had accentuated, and his pale skin revealed the tiny violet veins under his eyes. This wasn't the right moment for a fight either. Was he going to let her last years pass like this? What guarantee did they have that she was going to survive the tests really?

"I understand…" Levi told her. He wanted to be with her so badly. Why couldn't time stop for them, just once. Why couldn't all their service be rewarded with that, a little more time together…

"You know, Petra… We're going to see the sea." He turned to look at her. "That's what lies beyond the walls, and the titans, a big surface of water..." His voice sounded dry, and tired…

"Yes… When I get through the tests, we'll go see it." She spoke softly, without letting him go. She was so tired of this pulling in and out. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, and put this nightmare to rest.

Petra buried her fingers in his black hair and kissed his jaw, burying her nose on his neck. She wanted to pour all of her devotion on him, to translate everything into something more personal. She was ready for that to be their last kiss, but he reached for her lips again. Soon all the anger and pain started to subside. The sound of each other's breathing and their scents brought them back to a better time, when they were only tied by a dream. The hope of a better world… This is where it had led them.

With their eyes closed, it was easy to ignore the seriousness of their actions. Levi felt the responsibility of pulling her away again, but he was being carried away by his emotions once more. They were beginning to feel the urge to have each other, to hide somewhere so that they could confess everything between caresses. It seemed that there was a bond between them, a hidden tenderness in all the moments they had shared, that made all of that make sense. With each moment, their kiss didn't seem to stray so far from their late-night talks or their battles together. It just made sense.

When they broke apart, Levi was holding her hand like the first time.

Before going back to the barracks, Petra invited him to rest somewhere else. Reluctantly, Levi agreed to her plan. Petra rented a room by herself, and made Levi sneak in by climbing up to the window. He felt genuinely ridiculous, but at least he could avoid inquiries for now. He didn't like this type of place, it reminded him of his childhood, and his mother, although in this case the hostel wasn't dedicated to those kinds of activities. The room was well accommodated, and was more welcoming than the ones in the barracks.

They took off their jackets, their shoes, and drank some water from the pitcher on the dresser. They sat on the bed, and let the time pass. They ended up lying next to each other, and eventually hugging. They stayed like that for a while, comforting and occasionally caressing the other. Fatigue took hold of them in the peace of the room. It was something so different from what they were used to. It was the first time that they had allowed themselves to experience this peace and vulnerability.

Having settled into the other's presence, Petra began unbuttoning her shirt. Levi looked down, appreciating how the smooth skin of her breasts began to appear between her buttons. She was wearing a white bra, something simple and comfortable that would have allowed her to move with ease. He thought that surely she chose them thinking about her work. He enjoyed discovering those little details... He eventually followed her, and decided to take his own off.

Petra blushed a bit when she saw Levi's figure against the light, his scars, the way his back changed with every movement. She reached out a hand to touch him, curious.

Feeling her hand against his skin, Levi wondered how far they were going to take this. He feared that if he turned around, there wasn't going to be a way back. When he did, the sight of her was galvanizing. They hesitated for a moment, but kissed again, laying back on the bed. They could barely see each other in the darkness, but everything was pleasant, peaceful.

It would have been expected for the desperation of having each to consume them, but any small gesture felt enough. They stayed like that, loving each other calmly, with their faces always close. The kisses grew deeper, and the softness of the bed welcomed them. Petra's breasts felt tender against him, though he didn't venture to touch.

She wondered why didn't he make any step further, and decided to invite him, just in case. She arched her back, and with one hand managed to undo her bra. Levi felt a little nervous, it was the first time he was like that with someone, and he wasn't sure of being able to satisfy her.

Once uncovered, Petra trapped him in her arms again, wanting to feel him closer. Levi felt the need to return her gesture, and began to remove his pants. She did the same, remaining practically naked before the other.

This time their hands took more liberties, running over the thighs, the hips and those little forgotten spots. They worshiped each other leisurely, knowing that they had been lost and found, and that every moment was sacred.

"I want to fall asleep like this so badly…" She whispered.

"Am I making you sleepy?" He asked.

"Not in that way…" She smiled, running his back with her fingers. Petra's eyes gleamed in the faint moonlight streaming through the window. Her figure floated in the gloom, giving rise to a beautiful chiaroscuro of shadows and lights. "This is just, so peaceful and fond…"

Levi's heart felt heavier thinking that this could be her life, if only she hadn't joined him and had married a normal guy instead. Nevertheless, he knew this was a fantasy, and that their world was in constant danger. Maybe this could be their lives for real, in the future...

"I thought you wanted for us to fuck." He told her suddenly, feeling the need to address the intensity of the moment.

Petra laughed a little. "I do… But you don't seem too fond of the idea."

Levi felt a bit surprised that she had realized.

"I'm sorry… My mother… She was a prostitute. She tried her best to keep me alive, but it ended up killing her. I don't have the easiest time with this."

Petra's expression saddened, and she crawled slightly to hug him once more. "It's fine, I just wanted to have you like this for a while."

Levi felt relieved. He found it difficult to lower his defenses, and it was comfortable to be with someone who respected his boundaries.

He kissed her cheeks, her lips, and neck, until his touch became hungrier, stronger, as if he wanted to drag her body to wherever his feelings were... Petra let out a muffled noise.

"Levi... You don't have to."

"Tell me how..." He asked her, as he lowered his hand between her legs. Petra's face turned red, although her first instinct was to spread her thighs.

He slid his hand under her panties, and let her guide him. She felt a bit embarrassed to be the only one in that situation, but soon the fire in her belly began to cloud her head. Everything seemed so unrealistic, that she almost felt anxious. Petra gripped his shoulder, pulling him closer, trying to ease herself from her own desire.

As he kept going, Levi watched her drift away to the point where her posture, face, sounds and movements became alien to shame. From the safety of his position, he began to be drawn to the scene below him, and his breath hitched overwhelmed by the desire to accompany her. As she began to approach climax, passion finally ignited every nerve in his body. Levi paused, stripping off his underwear, causing his vision to make Petra shiver in anticipation.

She got up to meet him, and kissed him, and for a moment they fought for control, until Petra pushed him against the mattress. Levi lifted his torso, drawn like a magnet to her figure.

"Let me…" She told him, placing herself on top of him.

For the next minutes, what had started as a timid attempt at intimacy, shifted into something more carnal, almost animalistic. The silent room was filled by their begging voices, and the bed underneath screeched every movement. They understood each other so well that it was almost weird to think this was their first time. Whenever Petra caught Levi looking at her face, she would smile at him in pure bliss.

That night they were happy.

When they finished, it was past midnight, and they had to rush to clean themselves and back to the streets. Levi went out through the window again, feeling his body lighter… He felt as if he had entered being one man, and left as another. Soon, Petra appeared running around the corner of the stone pavemented street, smiling once again. She was entertained by the sight of her lover climbing down, with his hair still sweaty and messy. He surely felt very uncomfortable by that, but if someone saw them recently bathed they surely would figure it out… He jumped to the street and joined her in another kiss.

They started walking back, with a different kind of silence. They didn't feel apart anymore.

That stroll granted Petra the best 20 minutes she had had in long. Laughing, occasionally insulting each other lovingly, and feeling as if anything were possible. Unluckily, that sensation started to fade as the barracks began to appear behind the buildings. Things would have been so much better if they were headed to any other place… They had to come back to the reality that they were not free.

Petra's sense of responsibility started to accuse her… She really had slept with him. The pressure on her chest grew heavier remembering his words: "you're already gone", he had told her, and doing something like this only confirmed that she had lost herself completely. Maybe, after all, he couldn't have loved her before. Maybe now that they didn't have anything else to lose they could hurt each other freely, but, deep down, she knew she was wrong… He still had to live with it. Levi would still lose her.

"Don't think too much about it..." He told her, as if he could read it on her face. "We had our chance, and took it."

Petra looked at him, he spoke like a soldier even for that. It was evident that his work had taken over every bit of his being, perhaps he also saw his relationships that way.

Levi's conscience was starting to screw up with his head too. He thought that the memory of that night would eventually belong to Eren as well. He didn't want to swing on his feelings for Petra, but it was obvious that he prioritized her. He had done it before, but now, Levi wanted to hold on to her until the end. He didn't want for history to repeat itself.

They entered through the back door, and went up the same stairs from that time. They said good night and parted ways. Just as Levi had expected, Hange was not long in showing up to his dorm.

"So… Late again with Petra around there?" They asked from the doorframe, as Levi pulled off his jacket.

Levi turned to look at them, "hm", he nodded.

"You took a shower before leaving, didn't you? Why does your hair look like that?" They asked, hinting at the obvious.

"You know why." Levi answered. He was willing to be a good friend, and a good soldier. He worried about making things more complicated, but he would not lie, not to Hange.

"No, I don't." They looked deathly serious, it was strange for them to give that look.

Levi sighted, lowering his head in defeat.

"It's too much... Hange."

Chapter 7: Clock Bomb

Summary:

The moment has finally come, and the Survey Corps is able to explore the world outside the walls. Petra reassures her father that she will be alright, despite knowing that the impending experiments carry a great risk. No matter what, she will try to fulfill her promise and get out of the titan. Will she live up to Levi and Eren's expectations? The young shifter is attentive to her movements... What's going on with him?

Notes:

Here you go, another chapter! Things are starting to get complicated, and I must warn you that I'm going to modify the og timeline a bit. I also won't be dwelling too much on stuff that's already explained in canon, unless I think it adds to the story. I hope you guys like it!

Chapter Text

Petra woke up swearing that she could still feel him inside. Her body burned, marked by the memory of their encounter. She took a little longer to get out of bed, rejoicing in the memory of them, and thinking about how much she wanted to see him again, perhaps in some corner of the warehouse, locked in the kitchen or in the privacy of his bedroom…

The sound of someone knocking on the door took her out of her fantasy, and she hurried to get up, fearing that she had been late due to her foolishness. Petra opened the door in her nightgown, with her cheeks still flushed. On the other side, the exhausted image of Hange greeted her.

"Good morning, commander! Did I lose track of time, maybe? What do I owe your visit to?" She said kindly.

"Good morning to you too, Petra. I just wanted to inform you first hand that, in three days, we will be going outside the walls. How's your training going?"

"Of course." Her back straightened. "I've been training almost every day, and I am completely ready," Petra spoke effusively before Hange interrupted her.

"Well done! I also wanted to tell you that you'll be on my squad from now on, so I'll be taking care of you for a while."

Petra's expression changed rapidly as she began to connect the dots. She started to get visibly nervous, crazy to know if Levi had asked for this.

Hange caught her emotion quickly. "Don't put that face! The captain doesn't doubt your capacity. It's just that… He's been taking all the shifters to himself, and I could use some experience right now. Is that okay with you?"

Hange spoke in their usual light-hearted tone, although Petra could sense that something was off. She was tremendously disappointed to leave Levi's squad, even though she knew she had been testing her luck behind the scenes. It hurt her to think that it might have been his idea… Did he regret what happened?

They decided not to extend the matter any longer, said goodbye, and returned to their duties.

During lunch, Petra sat down with some new police veterans, who had switched over to the Survey Corps. It was nice to be with soldiers her age, and some of them were rumored to be candidates for her next squad. In the large communal dining room, her eyes met Levi's a couple of times and Hange's, who seemed to be watching her more than usual. Petra's appetite began to disappear. They had to know…

As evening fell, Levi decided to approach her at the stables. She was distracted chatting with Edith and Hugo. When they saw the captain approaching, they immediately withdrew to continue working. Petra's mood brightened as she saw him approach. One way or another, they were something now, she thought.

Levi was worried about the decision they had taken with Hange but was relieved to see the sweet expression she gave him regardless. His face brightened for a few moments when he saw her again from up close, taking a moment to appreciate her.

"I imagine Hange has already informed you, but I thought you might want to hear it from me as well." He started, and as much as he tried, his weakness for her showed on the way he spoke.

"Yes to both." She replied, unable to hide a youthful enthusiasm.

"Last night…" Levi started, unable to bury the burning memory. "Hange came to my dorm and asked about us. I told them the truth… Not everything, although they can imagine."

"What did you tell them, then?" Petra asked. She felt mortified to learn that the commander knew of their affair.

"I told them that this is too much. You were right. This is messing with us both. I want for my subordinates to be equal…" He took a pause, measuring the weight of his words. "This way, you'll be with someone less biased."

Petra had mixed feelings. She felt ashamed but wouldn't have expected to hear those words from him. Had she really gotten to him that much? She couldn't really imagine him prioritizing one person over another… It almost felt like a lie. She remembered then what he had told her about his mother ... She was beginning to see yet another side of him. He went from being an insurmountable hero to a curious character with a big heart, and finally to a man. After everything he had been through, had she been the burden that had bent him? Petra saddened.

"I don't know how to feel…" She spoke softly.

"We need to focus for now. I promised that this wouldn't come in the way. You're a shifter. That's the main reason you're not going home…" Levi said, needing for her to understand all sides of the situation.

Petra felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Obviously, her recklessness could not be overlooked, and under normal circumstances, she would have been expelled. She was a shifter, and he was… Levi. They had a pass for that, but it still was unacceptable. There was no way they could go naturally about it.

"I… I don't know If I should write a formal apology." She said with a constricted expression.

"Don't bother. This will stay between the three of us." Levi answered, frowning as he imagined the content of that letter. At what point had he thought of sleeping with a subordinate? He couldn't say it wasn't like that. From the outside, it was what it was.

When they parted ways, the cloud that had held their spirits collapsed. Why did each moment together seem to shorten?

Petra stood next to her horse, wondering how he could be the same man she held the night before. She thought distance is completely relative when someone is in love. One day, you can have the illusion of sharing each feeling, and the next, be unable to understand the other's reasons. Had he gotten over it so easily? Her confidence shook a bit, even though she knew that's how he always behaved.

The truth was that Levi had been thinking about her as well, although his talk with Hange had left him drained. They didn't argue much about it. They understood for the most part but had a colder head for the matter. That was their job, after all, and what Levi should have been able to do as well.

In the next two days, he didn't have time for much. He dedicated himself to supervise the training of his own squad and the preparations for the expedition. His ability to concentrate did not betray him, although, at night, he considered the possibility that those were Petra's last days. Yet he had promised that he would believe in her, and she had made it clear to him that going through this would relieve her of some of the burdens from her fatal mission.

The captain stayed up until the wee hours, sometimes helping Hange get through the paperwork. When fatigue overcame the commander, he considered the possibility of sneaking into Petra's bedroom in search of a little peace. The night before the mission, he found her awake, wandering down the hall, trying to get off some adrenaline to get to sleep. They exchanged a couple of encouraging words, and he left her on the bed, but not before trying each other's lips.

Before the sun rose, all the teams were ready, securing the cars and supplies remaining to be put away. Wanting to take advantage of as much light as possible, they left the walls at dawn, when the cool of the night had not yet left the humid air.

Petra had written to her father, she had doubted whether to tell him anything or lie, but having exterminated the rest of the titans, he had nothing to fear, at least that he could know… It seemed unbelievable to run outside the walls so calmly, although it was nice to be able to afford such luxury. All thanks to the sacrifice of their companions...

The Survey Corps rode in formation. Petra was on the right side of Hange, a place that Moblit would have occupied until recently, and further to their right was Levi. They continued on their way until they left the seeking of Wall Maria, which would soon be repopulated. After noon, they were far enough and started to search for a suitable place to carry out the experiments. It took them another day to find an adequate location, having to camp on site. The next morning, the warmth of the sun woke Petra, who shuddered at the memory of her first awakening in the forest after her transformation...

The moment had come.

She was the first of the squad to get up and found Levi and Hange having a drink. Upon seeing her, they interrupted their conversation and proceeded to wake the rest.

The site chosen had a wide depression in the ground, in which the earth had split, leaving a rocky corridor flanked by two walls. Petra would be placed underneath, leaving the soldiers strategically above her. If something went wrong, she would be cornered, and they could use their equipment without a problem.

The soldiers spread out on either side of the stone corridor while Petra descended. In front of her were also placed a series of elements, such as logs, barrels, and other things, with which she would be asked to carry out tasks. That way, they could gauge her receptivity level and give her a motive or reason to transform if she needed it.

Once everyone was in their positions, Petra looked up to see everyone ready for the attack. Her eyes shifted to Eren, who held the hilts of his swords tightly, fearing the unfolding of events. She couldn't help but remember how they reacted that time Eren accidentally transformed. They were so ready to attack him... How the tables had turned. She nodded at him, causing Eren's expression to soften. Petra was ready.

Levi drew his blades as he approached the cliff. He sought her gaze, but he saw her engrossed in the objects she had in front of her. He turned to look at Hange. Everything was in order. Hange approached him and looked at Petra.

"Petra, first, I'm going to ask you to move the logs past the barrel line!" They screamed, framing their mouth with their hands.

"Yes, commander!" She replied.

With their right hand, the commander launched an orange flare that traveled horizontally over the hole. The experiment had begun.

Petra pulled a small dagger from her belt and took a deep breath. She couldn't flinch. She made a move to cut herself, but at the last moment, she glanced at Eren, dropped the knife, and bit her hand. Levi and Eren were surprised by her gesture, perfectly understanding its message.

A great explosion of gas and thunder ensued from the outside, bringing to their faces an air so hot they could barely breathe. In a matter of moments, an infernal roar made the ground rumble, sending the most fearful back a couple of steps.

Levi hadn't expected such an amount of steam, and he shouted at the soldiers to distance themselves. They didn't know which of all the titans she had inherited, and with such little vision, they couldn't guess its size or if she was able to control it.

Immediately, the smoke began to dissipate, revealing a rather small titan, around 5 or 6 meters. His face seemed covered by a bone-white mask, with a long sharp jaw that revealed a row of also sharp teeth. He had deep golden eyes and short auburn hair. The titan's skeletal face contrasted his strong body, with toned arms and long stylized hands with claws. Levi watched the creature from the top of a tree, being able to glimpse a resemblance to Petra, even with its inhuman appearance.

Armin was the first to recognize him, despite the changes in its features. "Commander! This is the titan we wounded when they tried to rescue Reiner." He shouted from the edge of the cliff. "From what we saw, it's especially fast and fights mostly with its mouth and hands. Although it doesn't seem as powerful as the Armored or the Beast titans." The shrewd boy continued.

"I see…" Answered Hange, positioning themself next to him. "Hey! Petra! Can you hear us?! If so, please raise your right arm!" Shout the commander to the immobile titan.

The seconds felt like an eternity, and the Jaw titan remained motionless. Levi gritted his teeth, concerned at his unresponsiveness. Both he and Mikasa quickly approached the edge, fearing that he was going to attack at any moment, but soon, the creature raised its arm, turning his head towards them. After the self-injury, everything had gone black for a second, and it took Petra a few moments to take control over her new body.

Everyone sighed in relief, and Hange let out a cry of excitement that annoyed Levi. Eren was also able to relax his muscles a bit… This wouldn't be the occasion.

Petra had been able to resurrect, completely transform, and control her titan without problems to their joy. Without delay, the titan started to move slowly towards the pile of logs and fulfilled Hange's command.

The tests continued with a series of tasks that the titan performed without major inconvenience. Under the watchful eye of her superiors, Petra performed various physical feats, also testing the hardness of her teeth and claws. Levi followed her from close ... Something felt off to him. When she was brought back from the forest, she still had some fractures, and her regeneration was slower than usual. Everything was going too well. Perhaps her life force had already been restored to that point?

Petra had been transformed for almost an hour, and little by little, she was getting used to her second body. Her feeling was strange, though if she concentrated enough, it was almost like a second skin. Suddenly, she didn't know if because of her nerves or fatigue, it began to seem that the temperature of the flesh around her was increasing.

She ignored it and continued with her tests, although the air soon became heavy, and she began to worry. Out of nowhere, the tips of her fingers began to burn, and she felt a void in her limbs as if they had disappeared. The titan collapsed on the floor. Petra completely lost her outside vision, and panic began to seize her as the temperature rose dramatically around her.

The Titan began to release large amounts of steam from the outside, decomposing at high speed into a mass of magmatic flesh and vapors. Seeing this, Levi did not wait for orders and lunged, terrified towards the back of his neck. The temperature kept rising, and if he didn't do anything, she could be burned alive.

Petra was struggling from the inside to get rid of the flesh. Her skin was beginning to get hurt, and in the darkness of that space, full of red-hot steam, she thought she was going to die once more, unable to breathe without burning her lungs.

Seeing the situation, Hange ordered more soldiers to cut his flesh, intending that it would stop burning that much by separating it from his neck, facilitating her rescue. Panic also seized Levi, who saw that Petra didn't come out. He wanted to wait for her and let her fulfill her promise, but time was running out. He raised his blades intending to pull her out, but a jet of hot steam under pressure shot into his face, having to protect himself with his arm.

Mikasa was about to finish the job for him, but Petra came out of the nape just in time. She tried to scream in pain, but her throat was burned. The Ackermans helped her to detach with their hands and blades. Her skin was red, especially in the limbs, which were badly damaged... The situation became desperate when they saw that they could barely breathe, but they managed to get her out before the body of the titan fully hatched.

For the rest of the day, the tests were suspended. Now they knew what titan she had and his peculiarity; its body came with a timer.

Unfortunately, they would have to ask her to do it again. They needed to see if it could extend its functional time, or if, on the opposite, it shortened with the transformations, or how many times she could shift in short lapses ... Nonetheless, they would be more prepared for next time.

On the other hand, they still didn't know if it was a singularity of the titan itself, or if on the contrary, it was because Petra had been resurrected with the serum. Also, how effective would be in combat a titan that can only be used for an hour? Possibly needing assistance to get out?

There were many issues to be resolved, and Armin's Colossal remained to be seen.

They laid Petra on her sleeping bag without covering her. They tried wetting her burns to ease the pain, causing her to give off even more steam from her regeneration. As she healed, the pain gradually disappeared, being far less severe than it should have been. She was finding it a bit difficult to breathe, and her mouth tasted like iron. She wondered how successful that test could be considered, but, at least, she had kept her promise.

Hange timed her regeneration and cared for her condition quite fondly. Petra was tempted to bring up the matter with Levi, but it wasn't the right time.

A groan of pain made her head spin; it was Levi's voice. She saw he was on the other side of the camp. They were slowly taking off his shirt, but it seemed that it had stuck a bit to his skin ... When trying to protect himself from the steam, he had burned part of his arm and his shoulder blade. Unlike her, Levi couldn't heal that quickly, and his injuries were requiring attention. Petra tried to sit up a little, worried about him. Hange knelt beside her, trying to reassure her.

"It may not seem like it, but the shorty is quite a whiner. He'll be fine in no time!" They told her. Petra smiled back at them, lying down, even though her eyes gave her away.

Levi heard them, though he didn't want to turn to meet Petra's gaze. It wasn't her fault. He remained silent as his wounds were cleaned and bandaged, taking deep breaths to minimize the pain. It was reassuring to think that Petra was healing in a hurry, and from Hange's amazement, he concluded that she was doing it faster than last time.

After a long time, Petra's skin returned almost entirely to normal, leaving only a few pink welts. It seemed like her body went through a high-speed recovery phase right off the bat, and then it slowed down. Notes were being taken of all the details while Levi looked at everything sitting on a wooden box. He soon saw that Eren was also looking at her and considered asking him what exactly they had seen in that vision. After all, he could make him speak the hard way, and it despaired him to think that the boy could be keeping some useful information to himself. Information that could be used to save her… What was going on with him?

Eren sensed the captain's gaze and left with Mikasa and Armin. He wanted to talk to Petra. After all, he had seen more things than her. He still had some strands to tie, but if he wasn't on the wrong track… Would she understand? Maybe he would tell her in private...

"Eren, what's the matter?" Asked Mikasa while looking back to the captain and Petra.

"Nothing, I was just worried…"

Levi heard him answer from afar. Hange was also attentive to Eren's movements. Maybe he was just going through a hard patch. In the end, he was the one who saw her die… No. There was something more. Petra was the one to inform about the visions. He hadn't told anything and lied about Historia at that time. Levi and Hange exchanged a quick look, almost communicating telepathically. They saw that the other also shared their suspicions.

They decided to camp there for the time being, as they had plans to continue the next day. With great caution, Levi discreetly asked five soldiers to help him keep an eye on Petra. Among them, Edith and Hugo, who looked at him confused when he told them not to say anything to the rest. Weren't they among allies? However, they obeyed without delay. Levi didn't tell them that he feared Eren, but his instincts rarely failed him.

After a while, Petra decided to get up and approached the captain. The adrenaline had begun to leave her body, and she had spent the afternoon feeling uncomfortable under the watchful eyes of the investigators. Her abilities seemed crazy. Was that her body for real?

"How are you, Levi?"

The tension in his body lessened with her voice. She was calling him by name.

"I'm good, thanks. I see that you have already recovered. I'm glad you got out." He told her, touching his damaged arm.

"I am sorry about that… I guess with these things, you can't ever expect for it to go smoothly." Petra spoke kindly as she got even closer.

"As long as it's something external, it won't stop me," Levi spoke, catching a glimpse of her worried face. He didn't know how to make it better.

"You've been quite hot lately, I guess…" He said, drop-dead serious, instantly regretting it.

Petra's gaze distorted a little, and she suddenly blushed, letting out a snort. Was that a joke? She had to laugh at how awkward he was... He had been unexpectedly adorable. The last thing she had expected was for Levi to refer to their encounter like that at such a moment, but it managed to cheer her up.

Seeing her amusement, Levi felt a little better about his dumb comment. He adored her smile and felt a tingle of joy as she sat next to him.

Petra tried to say something, bursting out laughing again. "I'm not going to lie to you. This has been scary, but knowing you were there helped a lot. For a moment, I thought I wasn't going to make it." As she spoke, her tone grew more somber. "Luckily, after a while, I didn't feel it anymore. You're not so lucky ..." She continued, turning her upper body to face him. She didn't expect to find his attentive eyes over hers. She couldn't stop a smile and had to look away from him, as she felt overwhelmed by it.

Levi wondered if he was being creepy and turned his head a little too. "Are you feeling better now that you've made it?" He asked.

"Yes, a lot better." She said, leaning back in her arms. Levi checked her out of the corner of his eye. "Did I look scary?" She said after a moment.

"No." He answered.

"I guess for you, nothing does." She laughed. "That girl." Petra continued, pointing at Mikasa with her nose. "She's an Ackerman too, isn't she?"

"Yes. Our bloodline seems to be immune to the Founder's memory erasures..."

They continued to talk, letting the ugliness of their world swift away. When they were together, everything else happened at the sidelines. The injuries and near-death experiences weren't a match for them. Whatever they had to go through, they thought, was just the haystack to their needle.

After a few more days of testing and riding, they finally made it to the ocean.

Chapter 8: Squad leader

Summary:

Hello guys! Here's another chapter of Digging up a grave. I want to thank citri-nate, onyx-blossom, capitainelevi, and saba-651 for helping me round out some characters. Your support warms my heart! I hope you like it!

Notes:

Having passed the experiments, Petra is ready for her promotion as a squad leader. The chosen young recruits warmly welcome her under Levi's watchful eyes. However, Eren has something else in mind …

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

They rode together, and soon, a gentle breeze carried an unknown scent of saltpeter. The air had a different kind of coolness, and the great blue surface soon began to appear. When the soldiers reached the cliff, they stopped, gazing at the endless plain of crystal clear water. They went down to the beach and admired from up close the magnificence of their world. It was undoubtedly the antithetical vision of their horizon behind the walls, cut by its concrete cage. This one had no end.

Petra wished her father could see it. How would she describe it in her next letter? The ginger couldn't help but feel moved by the beauty of the landscape, and her eyes searched Levi's, curious to know his reaction, wanting to share this moment with him. She found him stunned, his stoic expression broken, staring at the shore from afar.

Some recruits were already taking off their shoes, and the younglings from the 104th had ventured into the water. Soon, the silence of their admiration gave way to merriment and laughter. Each step was a new experience, although, in reality, they were only recovering a forgotten memory.

Seeing that he wasn't moving, Petra approached Levi with a big smile. He could not take his eyes off the ocean and wasn't able to alert the woman approaching him.

"Captain Levi." She said, snapping him out of his reverie. Levi's mind had flown so high that he hadn't recognized her voice at first and had to look at Petra for a couple of seconds to come back. She didn't take her eyes from his. "Captain," she had told him. Levi knew it was her shy and sweet way of giving him credit for this.

"Petra ..." he answered her after a moment, letting her name flood with meaning on his lips.

The natural sunlight brought out the colors of their eyes. Levi smiled at her for a moment, and his stern expression filled with an unexpected sweetness. He turned to look at the sea again, knowing that that brief exchange had been worth many words.
Petra bit her lip a little; she wanted so badly to tell him that she loved him. She had never done it as such, and even though he already knew, there was something different about the idea of saying it to his face.

The sea's sound began to be displaced by Eren's voice, whose wistful words eventually stole their attention.

"The only thing we'll find out there is the enemy. Everything here is exactly like I saw in my dad's memories. If we kill every one of our enemies out there, will we finally be free then?"

After he spoke, the mood began to change. Eren's memories were accurate, and his visions most likely were as well… Petra looked down to the burning sand beneath her feet. She had been reminded that every experience after her death came with a price.

To protect themselves from their enemy's surprise arrival, they quietly set up camp in the forest behind the beach. It was in an elevated position, giving them peripheral vision over the natural harbor.

The squads were divided along the terrain, creating a defensive line, and planned the night's guard shifts. Once they set up camp, they went back down to the beach at sunset and prepared some bonfires to rest in there for a while. Levi wasn't entirely happy, it seemed risky, but Hange argued that it was too early to expect Marley's visit.

Most of the soldiers were in high spirits, and despite Eren's words, it was an achievement worth celebrating for many. Besides, there was another matter to commemorate. Petra's titan tests had been a success despite its limitations, and having reached the confines of the island, the first part of their mission was over. In other words, she was ready to be promoted.

She didn't expect it to happen that same night, but after having dinner by the bonfire, she saw how a group of soldiers began to bring down some wooden boxes. At the time, Petra was sitting chatting with Hange and Levi. The poor captain had dragged a log to avoid sitting on the sand. His mania with cleanliness had been one reason behind his reluctance to the idea of dining on the beach. The truth is that it was somewhat uncomfortable for everyone but not nearly as stressful as for Levi. The situation ended with Hange laughing at him while Levi insulted them, and they so entertained Petra that she ended up forgetting about those boxes.

She was laughing at her superiors when Edith and Hugo grabbed her shoulders from behind. She gave a little start and turned to look at them.

"Guys?..."

Petra saw that Hugo was holding a fancy wine, while Edith, tall and proud as she was, carried a heavy box full of beer bottles. She raised a brow, not fully understanding what was going on but fancying their offer. Suddenly, Hange rushed towards her, grabbing her shoulders as well. Petra jumped up this time in shock, hiding her chin as she protected herself from her commander's spontaneity.

"Congratulations, Squad Leader Petra Ral! Welcome to your promotion party! It's a humble thing, but your soldiers begged me to let them bring a few things." They spoke cheerfully.

"What!?" Petra blushed. "You guys…"

Hugo and Edith were quick to lift her off the ground. They were both twice her size and already confident enough to embarrass her. Petra fought them with a burning face while Levi watched as they took her away. Hange was soon to follow them, leaving the captain alone. He then saw a group of soldiers running towards her, smiling from ear to ear and making enough of a scandal to attract the rest's attention.

"Oh! Do you think they have meat?" Sasha dribbled behind him. Levi listened as his team complained enviously about how fun Petra's new squad seemed to be. Her company was undoubtedly more pleasant and flexible…

"Do whatever the fuck you want, brats." He ended up snapping.

Without wasting a second, Sasha ran up to them, followed by Connie. Jean also went with them, walking weird at first, as he feared the captain's reaction. Eren watched the lively scene from afar, thinking that Petra deserved it. It was nice to see her like that.

"Aren't you going?" Levi asked him over his shoulder after seeing he was staring at her.

"Maybe later…" He answered. Eren wasn't in the right mood, and he didn't want to spoil it. Mikasa and Armin stayed next to him.

Levi turned his eyes to Petra again. It had been a month and a half since her return, but so much had happened. She really seemed different. Not that Petra had changed, but because she was more like herself, maybe. It was as if she were a jewelry box... She suddenly opened up, and all her glow began to shine.

Petra used to cut her hair once a month religiously, but she had neglected it that time. The difference wasn't much, but enough to annoy her slightly. Levi watched as she asked Edith for something. Her now subordinate extended a small strap to her, with which Petra gathered her hair into a low ponytail. Some strands still couldn't be reached, and she had to brush them behind her ear. Short hair had always favored her, but when she pushed it away from her face, a new air of refinement framed her. The shape of her jaw and the languor of her neck made her unexpectedly graceful. The more she showed herself, the more beautiful she was. Levi stared at her, mesmerized. The vision was hypnotic, and every detail pure poison.

"Do you want to go?" Asked Mikasa without losing a glimpse of how the captain looked at Petra. Levi turned to look at the other Ackerman, absolutely busted. Mikasa gave him a blank expression, albeit somewhat defiant. The girl was pretty quick, and she had noticed his bluntness with Eren, as well as his little fixation for the redhead.

Meanwhile, Edith and Hange hugged Petra congratulating her. She felt overwhelmed by their kindness but also rejoiced in her pride.

Squad leader Petra Ral. That sounded amazing.

Next to them on the floor, Irina was kneeling, trying to open one of the beer bottles with her surgical scissors. She had been one of those chosen to join Petra's squad, having stood out for her intelligence and peculiar personality. She had worked with Hange in the past, and it was not surprising that the commander liked her; they had enough in common. Seeing her struggle, Evelyn came up behind the blonde soldier to check why the alcohol was taking so long.

"May I know what you're doing!?" She said, suddenly seeing how Irina squeezed some scissors under the cork.

"Hey! Do you want to help?" Irina asked her without stopping.

"You're unbelievable! Wasn't there a corkscrew next to the boxes?" Evelyn put her combat goggles on her head and began to help her. Without a doubt, she represented another type of genius. Evelyn had caught their eye for her analytical capacity, although her character was less extravagant than Irina's. They both pulled the scissors with all their might without success, occasionally fighting over the bottle.

"Do you freaks need help?" Said Nathaniel leaning over to see what the girls were doing. Ash-blonde locks fell over his eyes as he bent in, giving them a playful look. The girls turned to look at him.

"What did you call us?" Evelyn spoke, visibly irritated at him, while Irina continued engrossed in her task.

Nathaniel laughed at the pretty brunette. "Don't take it like that! I love freaks!"

He rolled up his shirt with a flirtatious smirk and asked Irina to leave him the bottle. Nathaniel started fighting with it to no avail. He couldn't let a piece of cork blow up his strategy. Irina cheered him on while Evelyn watched him struggle uselessly with her arms crossed and an uninterested expression.

"How many of Petra's subordinates does it take to open a bottle?" Said an ironic voice behind them.

They all turned again to see visibly frustrated Sabah. The skillful soldier often found themself irritated at their companions' behavior. They had been part of the same promotion and were perfectly aware of Nathaniel's little games.

"I've seen you hide the corkscrew in your back pocket, idiot," Sabah said.

Nathaniel's eyes widened, begging him to shut up.

"You did what!?" Evelyn shouted.

They continued to fight for a while until Irina and Evelyn stole the corkscrew from him by force.

"This is our first night as an upper squad, and you're already embarrassing us! Could you please stop it!?" Continued Sabah, very close to losing it.

"Guys, didn't you want to introduce yourselves to the squad leader?" Laughed Edith as she approached them. She and Hugo were the most experienced among the team and acted as seconds in command.

Edith had a fine face with green foxy eyes. Everything about her screamed "rich girl with an attitude," but she was one of the most dreadful enemies as a fighter.

"Yes. We'll go to talk with her now!" Answered Evelyn excitingly. They were thrilled to work with Petra, whom they had admired since she was part of Levi's squad, and they were a group of trainees.

"May I offer you one?" Said Nathaniel handling Edith a beer.

"Sure there, you danger boy…" Edith said as she grabbed it and walked away, leaving the tall boy expecting more.

Petra and Hange were still talking when all of her squad approached them with the bottles.

"Hello, squad leader! We're part of the 101st promotion, and we're proud to be able to work alongside you. Please accept our welcome. We promise to work hard and make you proud!" Evelyn said.

Petra looked fondly at the group of younglings before her. She thought about her first day at Levi's squad. She saw herself in their eyes and wasn't planning on letting them down either. The new leader was also aware that they had been transferred from the garrisons and the military police. After all, most of their companions who had joined them first had died during the battle to recover Wall Maria.

"Hello, guys! As you might know, I'm Petra Ral, your superior. Hange and I have gone through all your records to select you. I trust completely in your potential, so you better give everything you have!"

The team happily assented, handing her a drink.

"You're fortunate to work with someone like her," Hugo said, hugging Petra from behind.

"Ah, Indeed! I've always heard of her abilities, but no one has made justice to her beauty…" Nathaniel spoke before Sabah kicked him with the back of their bottle.

"Lieutenant!" Irina called her, making Petra freeze for a second… "I… I wasn't allowed to participate fully in the experiments. Do you think I could examine you a bit!? Your healing properties are what I'm interested in mostly!" Petra smiled as she backed a bit at her proposal. She really had a little Hange within her.

They continued to laugh and drink as they got to know each other a little better. Some soldiers started to join in, congratulating Petra. Levi wanted to approach her, but those brats wouldn't leave her alone. The way they looked at her… It reminded him of the way she had looked at him the first time they met.

As the hours passed, the party started to fade. The soldiers returned to the camp, and the shifts of guard continued. When the time came, Petra's squad took over. It was her turn to watch the closest point to the beach, and she spent the time delightfully, thinking that the view made the job enjoyable.

After a while, Petra felt footsteps behind her. She saw then that it was Eren. He had been distant that night, and she felt a little bad for having caused such a scene after what he said…

"What are you doing awake, Eren? I thought your shift had ended…"

"Hm, yes, I wanted to talk with you, alone." He spoke in a soft tone as he approached her. Petra got up rapidly, eager to know what he had to say.

"It's about… The memories. I saw things. I know how they resurrected you, and there are things you need to know."

Petra's eyes opened widely, and a rush of adrenaline ran through her body. She hadn't felt something like that in a long time. The last time she felt that…. It was before she died. She suddenly recalled something.

"Squad Leader!" Edith and Hugo appeared, running through the woods towards where they were, and rapidly positioned themselves between Petra and Eren. The boy looked at them, confused. What were they doing?

Petra was also puzzled. "Guys, it's fine. I need to talk to him." She spoke seriously, making it clear that she was ordering for them to leave.

To her surprise, the couple didn't move. They were nervous, holding their blades without taking their eyes away from Eren. It didn't take much reasoning to know it; someone superior in rank had sent them.

"Okay then. I apologize, Eren. I promise to talk with you later, but it seems there is a more urgent matter."

Eren couldn't hide the pain in his eyes, but he nodded and made his way back. It was pretty evident that Petra had spoken with the captain. She had told him about their vision, and now they didn't trust him.

"Who sends you?" Asked Petra, visibly angry.

Edith and Hugo looked at each other doubtfully; they weren't sure they could tell. In the beginning, they were only ordered to protect her, but, recently, the captain had told them to watch for Eren specifically… Hugo was about to talk when Levi appeared between the trees. He had been tracking Eren as well and wasn't going to let them fight him alone if something happened. Petra looked at him in disbelief, although she had already imagined.

"Leave us," Petra told them, but they didn't obey until Levi nodded in agreement, pissing her even further.

"What do you think you're doing?" She told him even before he could finish reaching her.

"Eren has been acting suspiciously and has been lying to us. I can't let him go around you unsupervised."

"That's why you're giving orders to "MY" subordinates without my knowledge? How are they going to respect me?"

Levi looked to the side. She was right there. He should have told her, but he didn't because that meant admitting to her how much he feared for her death.

"You seem way too comfortable with him, and I know you would have opposed it." He excused himself.

"As if I would have had a saying anyway." She answered back. "I understand what your point is, but he was about to tell me something important. All you protected me from was the truth."

"And then we'd lose your fidelity. If Eren trusted you with something that you couldn't confess to Hange or me, would you tell us?" He asked, looking at her from up close.

Petra hesitated for a few moments. "If it's for humanity's greater good? No." She finally answered.

The captain felt hurt and frustrated, but how could he argue? There were many things he couldn't understand. Eren was getting the upper hand in understanding their world, and with Petra, they were part of something Levi couldn't access. He had no choice but to trust her and agree to follow plans and people he comprehended less and less by the day. How was he going to continue believing in this?

"What did you see?" He asked, looking into her eyes with a constricted expression. "I need to know, at least that."

Petra felt moved by his words, but she had tried to bury those images deep down in her memory. Like any injured animal that is touched, Petra wanted to bite.

"I was on top of something, a building perhaps. I dressed in some white tunic, and then Eren grabbed me and bit me into fucking half. Is that enough?" She almost cried, unable to control the waves of terror that came to her. "I didn't put any resistance. I'm sure that if I let that happen was because time was due, or there was a good reason." Petra tried to calm herself down.

"They transformed you too short ago. You should be the one eating Eren and not the other way round. Are you telling me that you have even less time than him? What if he fucking lies to you?"

"What would he gain with that? If you care so much about it, then I'm sorry to tell you, but you didn't stop him in my vision either." She exploded, regretting it before even speaking.

"I wouldn't let him eat you for the life of me! How do you want me to trust him!?" Levi was almost screaming and had started to gesture a lot more than he usually did.

"But maybe you'll have to!" She answered him before Eren's figure appeared behind Levi, catching her attention and changing her face completely.

Seeing her expression, Levi turned to see the boy walking towards them with dull eyes. He had been hiding not too far, waiting patiently for a chance.

"I'll tell you both," he spoke sadly, "but I can't make you believe me. That choice we'll be on you."

Eren and Petra sat on the floor in front of each other while Levi remained standing, unable to let his guard down.

"It has been done before. You're not the first one to be resurrected." He started.

"The serum that's used to transform people comes from the spinal liquid of the nine titans. Indeed, most of them will only save a person if it's still alive, but the Founding's one is different. Long before the war, his serum was used for its healing properties, and it was able to bring people back to life if they had died recently. That's because the Founding titan is connected to the primary source of life, being able to restore it when there are still remains of it."

He took a pause and looked at Petra.

"When the Eldian people were confined within the walls, both the Founding titan and the Attack titan were locked with them. One of the bearers of the Attack titan was a man called Ethan Ackerman."

Levi stared down at the boy, surprised to hear about another relative.

"Of course, the shifter had to be someone close to the royal family, and in this case, they chose an obscure member of the Ackerman. He was a scientist and learned all the secrets from this world firsthand, but he started to resent the king with time. Ethan wanted to free our people. Unluckily for them, they couldn't alter his memory nor brainwash him, so his plan succeeded. He found a way of stealing some of the Founding's titans serum and escaped to Marley.

Once he was in there, he decided to join the army and set the fundamentals for our rebellion. To gain their trust, he put all his knowledge into their service, promising that he'll find a way to improve the serum so it would be able to resurrect fallen soldiers. He didn't say that he had a Titan, but he presented himself as an Eldian.

The original serum was too precious to waste, so he studied for years until he found a way to create some replica by mixing minimum amounts of it with a modified version of the normal ones. The course had its dumps… The first experiments went terrible, and some of the people injected were destroyed by it. The army ended up giving up on his project, but he had already gained the trust of a young soldier, Eren Kruger, whom he decided would be his successor.

After that, he tried to live an average life, married and had a daughter named Esther. Unluckily, his wife died, and when his child was only seven, she fell ill. As she worsened, Ethan resumed his investigations. Esther ended up dying, and he made his last attempt with a final version of the serum that was still imperfect. He injected her with it and sacrificed himself to save her. It was a success, and she came back.

Kruger took care of Ethan's child during the four years that she lived…You've seen it, Petra, what happens to your titan. The serum might be close to that of the Founding's, but it's still imperfect, and even the original one can't maintain life for too long. After those four years, her body started to deteriorate rapidly, gradually turning her into a corpse again. Before she died, Kruger injected himself and ate her. That's how he got the titan that later on was passed on to me.

They probably found out about Ethan's success recently and decided to try his serum here. The same way someone transformed Conney's family, they changed you, Petra."

They were silent for a while, trying to absorb all the information.

"So, you're telling me that if we inject your spinal fluid to Petra, we can save her?" Levi was the first to speak.

"No. It can only be done once. If she's injected again, her body will collapse... She can't be saved."

"All of that you've seen?" Petra asked him, dejection drawn in her eyes.

"After I touched you, yes. Maybe because you were resurrected with the serum of the Founding titan."

Levi stood there, still trapped in the "she can't be saved." There was no way. She couldn't be saved that way, but maybe if they kept digging...

"Enough then. Petra, go back to your tent. I'll finish the shift for you. You too, kid…" Levi spoke, putting a hand to his forehead. He couldn't take it anymore.

Petra looked at the captain. His dark circles had pronounced, and the muscles in his cheeks moved under the pressure of his jaw. His tension and helplessness were latent on his face.

"I'm fine, Levi. I can do it." She answered.

"No. You two can go. I can't sleep at all anyway. I'll stay here." Eren said.

"As you like," Levi told him and started to walk away from there, haunted by defeat.

Petra leaned forward and took Eren's hand with hers. "I trust you… I trusted you before you spoke, and I still trust you now. I'm thankful you did." She desperately attempted to get to him with these words, but all she got was a half-smile. She kissed his head almost motherly and started following Levi. It felt terrible to leave him there, but she could use some time alone.

She was surprised to find Levi at the forest entrance, waiting for her, but she passed him. He followed behind until they reached her spot in the camp. They were utterly alone, and a dead fire was still smoking under the ashes. The rest of the tents were empty, for her squad was still out on guard.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Are they out until sunrise?" He asked, letting sorrow spill like black liquid over his otherwise monotone voice.

Petra faced him and let out a profound sight. "I don't think I can."

"Me neither… I just- I don't want to think nor lose another minute."

The silence stretched for a few moments between them until Petra started walking towards him. She stopped to see his face from up close before kissing him.

He held her firmly against him, wanting to focus all their attention on the other. Levi's lips were soft, but Petra's kisses were intense, almost violent. She felt like she was going to break against him. She desperately needed that sensation to leave her body. Her fear was immense. What if at any moment she felt her limbs disappear again, and her body began to decompose before him? She wanted to cry but struggled to hold her ground, begging him to have her a little longer, imploring for salvation. Not long ago, Petra had been so clear that she could die for the captain, and now she was holding on to every inch of his body, fearing she would stop feeling it.

Levi tried to ease her, but it wasn't working. She was clinging hopelessly. He didn't want to let her madness consume her and did what he had always done, to command. He grabbed her and took her into her tent, laying her back. The wounded man began to untie the straps of her gear, dying to see her skin, trying to grasp a glimpse of that night. Petra let him do, putting her arms to the side. All those things that touched and constricted her, she wanted them to stop tormenting her skin as if all the rest could go with them. Little by little, they succeeded, and the reasoning began to leave them. Suddenly, it seemed like their situation was no worse than before. They were fucked from the beginning, so what was the point?

Notes:

That was a lot... I'm sorry 3 Thanks for reading! Please feel free to leave an opinion.

Chapter 9: The end of the world

Summary:

Sensing that the end is near, Petra and Levi make the decision to unleash their feelings. Every second count when time runs so fast. Due to an unexpected twist, the captain will go through his story with Petra once more. Maybe this time he'll be able to guess when did it happen…

Notes:

Here's another chapter! This one is a little bit longer than the last one. I hope you enjoy it! 3

Chapter Text

During the last hours of the night, the sun's warmth accumulated during the day ended up disappearing. The air was cold, although it was difficult to notice the change in temperature wrapped in the heat of such passion.

Petra adored Levi, but her physical attraction to him was fatal. He didn't have the most common type of beauty, but there was something about how his face combined structure and delicacy that was so captivating to her.

She enjoyed seeing him on top; every angle was perfect. His strong slender body made a splendid match for her luscious toned figure. They seemed tailor-made for each other's appetite.

Levi had lost all shame, though she sometimes felt the softness of care in his touch.

Petra had also been working to unhinge him. She had quickly learned his weaknesses and used them against him without any qualms. Her teasing got him incredibly aroused, tearing from his throat raspy moans and some curses. She worried that someone would discover them, but the sentiment of being together was enough to make them enjoy the thrill.

Every time they slowed down, their consciousness would come back to torment them, so they were rarely delicate. After keeping appearances for so long, they enjoyed being raunchy. Whenever one pushed the limits, the other responded with something even riskier.

"Get your ass up," Levi demanded, helping her lift her hips. His thrusts were wild, leaving Petra gasping for air while chanting his name, making him burn until he had no choice but to pull out. They repeated the process, changing positions until their energy and libido gave out.

Petra laid on her back, breathing heavily as her orgasm left her slowly. Levi was in the same state, with his eyes fixed on her ivory skin. A mix of sweat and dew had dampened their bodies, and for a moment, he thought that her sight would be enough to keep him going for a little longer. Unfortunately, they were running out of time.

Petra looked at him, realizing that he wasn't going to lie back again. She sat up slowly and kissed his shoulder, making sure to make her movements as delicious as possible.

"I want you to stay…" She whispered, making him tremble with temptation. Levi wanted to tell her the same, but he couldn't bring himself to be vulnerable even when he tried.

He felt fucked up. His lips were sealed, and his mind made him feel as if everything he kept on his chest was forbidden to share. The captain used the back of his hand to wipe away the drops that fell down his chin. "You should wrap up that sleeping bag and throw it away. There are extras in one of the carts," he spoke, trying not to get carried away by her touch. "Yes, and they are recounted on the way back," she kept kissing him. "We'll say some brat shat themself up."

Levi wondered why Petra didn't let go. She had told him that she wanted him to stay, and he was talking about shit. The pretty woman laughed at him and placed a hand on his cheek. "Let me guess; you're going to force me to accompany you to the river for a bath," he frowned at her words. "I wouldn't like to think you're against washing yourself after this, Ral," she laughed harder with an offended demeanor. "Ral? Should I call you captain then?" She crossed her arms behind his neck with a gorgeous smile. "As if you weren't into that, freak," he said, making her hit him softly.

That made him smile.

They emerged from the tent and headed to a nearby tributary where the captain had been forcing the recruits to bathe. During the expeditions, they tended to neglect themselves, and the last thing he was going to tolerate was feeling even dirtier than usual among pigs.

When they arrived at a discreet place, they started to take off their clothes again. That's when the cold hit them.

Petra's skin got chilly as she began to walk carefully into the water. "Oh my god! It's freezing," she whispered in a pitchy whine. Levi looked at her from behind, taking a full pic of how her back looked under the moonlight. She let out a small gasp when she almost slipped on the eroded rock soil. "Be careful," he told her as she tried to balance herself with her arms.

"Levi, for real, I'm freezing so much," she said more seriously. The water was impossibly cold during those hours. "That's what we get," he replied before jumping into the pond at once, splashing Petra.

"You son of a-"

She stopped. It felt kind of insensitive to say that to Levi since his mother had actually been on the streets. Petra felt guilty right away, and Levi lifted his head out of the water and wiped his eyes to look at her. "What were you saying?" He could see the fear and shame in her eyes. "I-," she started apologizing before Levi lunged at her, catching an ankle underwater and pulling her off.

She came out shocked by the icy water, "Fuck!" She coughed. "My squad is going to wonder if they see my wet hair," Petra complained.

"And what are you going to do?" He provoked her, closely submerged up to his shoulders.

Petra tried to hold back a grin of laughter and hesitated for a moment. She then quickly dipped her mouth and spat water at him. Levi turned his face away and jumped back.

"You're disgusting!" He grunted angrily, making her laugh even harder. He extended his arm, moving towards her again, "Oh no... Please wait!" She started flying from him unsuccessfully. He caught her by the legs, pulling her closer. Petra fought him uselessly with a mixture of nervousness and amusement in equal parts. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, stop," she begged without being able to stop laughing as much as she tried. Levi put his torso between her legs, holding her against him. Petra shivered against him, clinging tightly in fear that he was going to throw her back in revenge.

"Do you want to stab me with those nipples?" He complained, trying to separate his face from her.

"Please, don't throw me again…"

Levi sighed, "I'm not letting you go."

Petra remained silent, resting on his shoulder as she hugged him. His burn had not yet recovered, although it looked significantly better. After a few moments, she raised her head slowly to face him, still shaking a little.

"If you moved a bit, you would feel better," he advised her, worried.

Levi used his fingers to brush the wet locks from her face. Petra's golden eyes were beautiful, and he appreciated how the color changed slightly from the center outwards. Her lips trembled a little before she spoke.

"I love you."

Levi looked at her directly as his expression softened. He recalled his mother told him that, but he hadn't heard it since. He couldn't even remember when it had been the last time. Petra was looking at him peacefully, utterly comfortable with whatever reaction those words brought. He looked like a little child. His face seemed frail, filled with tenderness and sadness.

Levi tried to speak, but the sound broke in his lips. Petra caressed his face, brushing her nose slowly against his. "I love you so much," she repeated, kissing him tenderly. "I love more than anything," Petra whispered as she kept gifting him the sweetest of gestures.

He felt turned between closing his eyes and looking at her a little longer. He wanted to let tears run down, to release a little pain, and give space for a bit of hope. Levi held Petra fondly as he relaxed in her endearment. The pale man put his head on her shoulder this time.

"I want you to stay," he started. "I can't lose you. I'm in love with you too."

Petra's arms caressed his back, and she tilted her head to the side, giving over to the feel of Levi's head on her shoulder. Her face returned to seek him, lifting him to continue kissing him over and over again. Levi was in an other-worldly state, wholly enveloped by the tenderness that she gave him. His mind and body felt ethereal, and he lost track of where he ended and where she began. He was so attached to her that it hurt him to think that that was as close as they could get.

"Does this always feel like the first time for you too?" She whispered before trapping his lips yet again with a soft hum. Levi was beginning to think his heart wouldn't be able to take it. "Yes," his breath trembled a bit, "except that I miss you so much, every time in between…" He looked at her for a second more before parting her lips again, surrendered in devotion.

The sky was beginning to look clearer, announcing that the sun was about to rise. Levi and Petra were having a hard time coming out of the pond.

"We need to come back…" She told him between subtle gasps. "Just a little longer," he begged.

They let time pass dangerously, and daylight almost caught them making love again.

Petra put on some fresh, clean clothes, while Levi had to settle for the same ones he wore until he reached his tent. They said goodbye at dawn, and he promised her that when they returned, they would spend every possible night together. They would take time out from under the rocks if necessary. How long could they hold back the advance of the war?

Reality would call them again sooner or later, but they would not listen to its footsteps again until it finally knocked on their door.

Levi made his way through the woods. The ocean breeze brushed his cheeks, bringing him back the memory of her. He felt happy, full, and warm. She had told him that she loved him. Levi just wanted for the world to let him hold that moment for a little longer, but as he approached the ocean, he saw something from afar.

"Captain!" The soldiers came running to him. "Where have you been? We've been searching for you. They will reach us in a couple of minutes." Levi didn't respond, as he looked with a broken expression at the ship approaching on the horizon.

"Please, no." He thought. "I haven't even had time to think at what point it happened."

The first time they met, Petra had already been in the army for three years. She was nothing else but one of those faces you repeatedly cross at certain places. He forgot about her existence until he saw her again. Sometimes he noticed her charging her gas, to later spot her making her way back to the walls. It was great to see that some faces repeated themselves. Most of them he forgot, only being able to see them once before they were erased by the passage of time.

The same happened with their names. How many introductions had he had during those years? Levi always hoped for them to last, but they only did in stone.

Some others stayed with the captain, haunting him in nightmares. Small gestures of compassion and heroism from unknown heroes of making that had stuck with him through the years. So sometimes, when they returned, and he had to take care of returning corpses to shattered families, a flame of hope passed through him when he saw the flickering of her ginger hair.

"Oh, that girl." Whoever she was, she had made it back once more.

Slowly, the petite woman made her way into his closest circles, making herself more and more common around him. It startled him to learn how good she fought. It was evident that she couldn't be bad if she had made it for so long, but her versatility still stood out.

Levi had his eyes set on a couple of men already, but anything had really impressed him. He was soon to have an elite squad of his own, but had a hard time socializing to know what the other soldiers were about. Perhaps that was what made him develop his unique sensitivity for reading people. The captain had a knack for understanding his peers from afar. He did not approach nor talk excessively, but he noticed everything.

During their 60th expedition, the Survey Corps encountered a dire situation. Fleeing in retreat, they had ended up in an abandoned village within the perimeter of wall Maria. The Titans' presence forced them to split up, and the captain sped through the formation, trying to save as many as possible. Unfortunately, they were surrounded so that supply groups were soon cut off from some soldiers, including Levi.

The situation became desperate when seeing that the titans didn't stop appearing. It was dusk, and soon they would stop moving, but they needed to survive until sunset and were running out of gas. Levi was forced to decide between saving his gas or his companions. He kept doing his best to get them indoors, hiding them inside some houses. They let the captain refuel his equipment with their own, but it wasn't enough.

He desperately needed to reach back the rest of the corps so they could save those hiding. They kept distancing, and he was about to run out of gas again, protecting the building they were in.

A 4-meter titan approached at high speed after him, and the captain performed his maneuver to annihilate it, but when he delivered the coup de grace, his gas finally ran out. Levi fell to the ground, dislocating his shoulder and breaking a couple of ribs.

Despite the sharp pain he felt when moving his torso, he got up. His breathing tortured him as he watched a 10-meter titan approach him.

"Shit."

Out of gas and with only one entire blade, he was lost. Levi was about to flee when suddenly, the honey-haired soldier brought the creature down with a clean cut. She swung in his direction, grabbing him by the waist and pulling him onto the rooftop of a building. He let out a groan of pain when she took him. His condition was delicate, and the colder his muscles got, the more it ached.

"Captain Levi, are you okay!?" Her voice was feminine and enveloping despite the severity of its tone.

"Yes," he composed himself, "where the hell is your squad?"

"Half have died, sir. We parted ways when we entered the village. I am alone ..."

Levi took a glimpse of her face. It was like a ray of light. Adrenaline kept him from noticing the details, but he immediately caught the golden hues, recognizing her on the spot.

"I'm out of gas. How are you?"

"I'm running short too…"

Levi kept looking into her face. She was visibly tense but was keeping it together just fine. She suddenly turned her head violently to look behind them. Three titans approached them from afar, making the structure beneath them tremble. The captain checked on them before turning to see her face once more. She was sweating and almost hyperventilating from exhaustion.

The young woman turned to meet his gaze once again as she nervously started to untie her gear's engines.

"We're running out of time," her voice shook before Levi could come up with a decision himself. "I'm small, so I can run on little fuel for longer, and I have some left." She kept undoing the belts with her gaze fixed on him. "The closest team went south last time I saw them. You have more possibilities to reach them than me."

Levi swallowed as he understood what she was planning. "I'll take you inside with the rest," he told her. "No. If you carry both of us, you'll run out of gas immediately. There's too little left. We'll pray they're looking for us and are close enough for you to reach. Humanity needs you more, sir."

Her eyes were terrified yet decided, and the captain couldn't do anything else but to listen. The titans were too close. Was he about to witness her end as well? He had seen her come back so many times, barely giving her any attention, and there she was, ready to die for him.

The anonymous woman handed her gear to him. "Please, take this and don't look back." He watched her with wide eyes. He barely knew her, but she'd trusted him with her sacrifice. The terror was beginning to take hold of her as she kept checking how the titans approached.

"Now!" She snapped at him.

Levi clenched his jaw as he took her gear, adjusting it fastly. His shoulder felt numb, but he still could push it a little more. The captain also grabbed her remaining blades, feeling terrible as he did so.

Levi ran towards the edge and looked at her one last time.

"I promise you this won't be in vain."

Her eyes were teary as she nodded. She knew she was about to die, but her expression barely broke. She was sure about her decision. Levi felt almost nauseous as he left her behind, ignoring the titans that headed towards her. The soldier had asked him not to look back, and he fulfilled her wish, but her image didn't leave him. She was soon to be another forgotten face, another name in a cold stone. He hadn't even asked…

Levi maneuvered, trying to save as much gas as possible in the direction she had given him. He was flying away fast, ready to hear her cries of pain as she'll probably regret it.

"What was your name?" He clenched the fists of his blades as he calculated the time she had left, trying not to picture the terrifying faces of those creatures.

The ground rumbled, and the three titans fell. The thunderous sound stopped him in his tracks. Levi turned and watched as Hange's squad approached him. They had saved her.

Soon, a supply team caught up with them. They had made it just in time. The captain was relieved to see the brave soldier in one-piece, flying under Moblit's arm. They helped recharge the ones who were hiding and made their way back to the formation. Night finally fell, and they continued on their way in the safety of darkness. The young heroine returned with her squad, and Levi didn't see her again.

"Hange."

"Huh?"

"Do you know who she was? The girl you saved?"

"Oh! She gave you her gear, didn't she? We were lucky to make it in time. She's, ugh- Mike told me… Ah! Yes, Petra Ral. She ranked at the top three of her promotion a couple years ago."

"She's with Mike?"

"She's currently part of a division in his charge. I've been told she's quite nice!"

They reached the gate of Wall Sina at dawn.

After tending to his injuries, the captain went to his quarters, lit a candle, and picked up his notebook. He dipped the quill with some ink with his good arm and carefully wrote: "Petra Ral."

Soon after that, she was notified that Captain Levi required her for the next expedition.

Levi's squad didn't exist as such yet, but whenever he had to choose who he wanted around, her name would come up. They kept on working together, and he was pleased to find that his instinct hadn't betrayed him. She was as brave and devoted as she seemed on that rooftop. He never really thanked her for saving his life, and she never brought up the matter again.

The captain could be completely ruthless sometimes, but he never met a complaint from Petra. She woke up punctual, clean, hard-working, and everything he could have wanted by his side.

It was like that for months; Petra worked hard, and Levi watched. At first, she didn't approach him more than necessary, and she even seemed to keep a great distance with him. The captain's appreciation towards her grew by the day with each interaction, the same way Petra's did. She suddenly found herself complimenting little details: like his writing or his refined taste for tea. Petra grew closer by the day, and there was something about her that just fitted.

He still had a hard time socializing, but she just seemed to know. Petra had a talent for reading through people's manners the same way he did. Moreover, her completely antithetical personality made her step forward, where he stepped back. They ended up being this tandem that functioned in perfect sync, complementing each other.

Levi began to lean on her presence. Petra had come into his life, and at some point, he began to understand her as his other half. He felt so in control with her that perhaps he didn't realize he had let his guard down. The captain let her crawl under his skin without a glimpse of suspicion.

What did he have to fear? It was Petra.

She made her way in as a silent disease, and he let her. Levi knew he had a soft spot for her but truly believed it was under control. At what moment she had managed to make him trust her that much, he did not know. Levi wasn't sure about his feelings but didn't care either. She was there, and that was enough.

He only realized she had been in his feelings all along when it started hurting.

That night they had gone out during the local festivals. Levi just wanted to stay indoors, ignore the noise and be completely alone. However, his soldiers came to invite him and insisted very much for him to go. Hange and Erwin also begged him not to be unfriendly to his newly formed squad, and he eventually agreed. Petra was with them, although she talked much more with her teammates than with her commanders. Half the Survey Corps had joined to go down to the festivities, and Levi felt really out of place with all that people. He stuck with Hange and Erwin, and his dark circles soon announced that he was already tired of being there.

The veterans entered the bar where they had arranged to meet. It had a dance floor, and that night, there was live music accompanying the city's festive mood. Levi scanned the place with his eyes and suddenly found her.

Petra and Oluo were chatting against a window. It was the first time he'd seen her in civilian clothes, and her low-cut dress had an effect on him. The beautiful woman saw him and raised her jar in greeting. Hange and Erwin answered for him, who simply stared at her, stunned. He wasn't so bland as to not realize how pretty she was, but there was something different about seeing her like this.

He usually didn't care much for a good aesthetic, but Petra had that flair about her. It was the way she looked, the way she moved, and her overall personality that made that combination so good.

"You're kind of into her, aren't you?" Hange asked him.

"I think your brain rot has worsened, Hange." He answered, trying to seem unbothered.

"She's looking at you right now... Poor Oluo, he's trying his best." They teased him.

Funny enough, Hange just wanted to unnerve him and had no idea that they had come to stick their finger in a real sore.

Erwin returned with a bottle, and the conversation continued as Levi's mind could only imagine Petra's gaze on the back of his neck. He was getting sick. Who cared where her attention went anyway?

After a while, he finally turned around. The dance floor was starting to fill up, and Petra was spinning with Gunther in the middle of it. There was no one else like her in there. He suddenly had the sensation that everyone was looking at her, that everyone wanted her.

Petra's gaze met his for a second, and she whirled around. Oluo caught her after, and she giggled as she moved across the room gracefully. Obviously, her companions were doing it in a completely casual way, but Levi was beginning to resent seeing her so close to them. Eld was the first to realize this, and when he had a chance, he told Petra.

"The captain has been looking at you for a while…" He told her casually as they jumped around.

"Don't mess with me, Eld," she blushed. Her friend was pretty aware of her crush, although she always tried her best to deny it.

Petra waited for a while before checking on Levi. She found him entertained by Erwin and was a little disappointed. She looked back at Eld, and he laughed at her cute expression.

"Invite him!"

"Are you crazy!? He would hate me."

"So, you care?"

Petra pulled away from Eld with a mocking smile and flushed cheeks. She took a deep breath and started walking toward the commanders' table. Her squad looked at her, laughing. If there was one thing she had, it was guts.

Levi was already on his third drink, and his sailor's mouth was beginning to do its thing. He was so engrossed in his conversation topic that he didn't even flinch when Hange and Erwin stopped listening to greet Petra. The captain turned in frustration to see who had interrupted them, and he found himself face to face with her honey eyes.

"Would you like to dance, captain?"

"Oh, Levi! How lucky you! If you don't go with her, then I will!" Hange said effusively.

"I'll love to have a dance with you too, Hange!"

"Really!?"

"Don't you dare," Levi said, getting up.

He wasn't sure why he had accepted. This wasn't his thing at all, but he appreciated her gesture. He knew he was hard to deal with but still liked it when she pushed him a little. His squad watched them in disbelief make their way into the crowded room. Petra's face was glistening with emotion.

The music played cheerfully as people sang and laughed. Levi tracked the movements quickly and started to follow her. Without a doubt, the captain had an excellent command of his body, and it reflected in the way he moved. Petra appreciated how carefree his movements were, if somewhat solemn and elegant.

He did the minimum necessary, but she took pleasure in every turn, every curve ... Petra smiled, shook her head, rocked her shoulders, even her hips swayed a little. The more comfortable she felt, the more she displayed for him. The beer had inhibited her a bit, and she felt confident enough to try seducing him.

Levi felt wholly hypnotized by the swinging of her hair, her neck, her bare shoulders, and even dared to glance at her cleavage a couple times. He could see that she was having fun, and it bothered him. Everything was beginning to annoy him: her laugh, how good she smelled, her creamy skin...

Levi gently took her by the waist as they spun, wondering why. Was he sour enough to be bothered by her sympathy?

What was he defending himself from, if not how much she was provoking him. Everything ached: her hand on his shoulder, the way she knew how to take advantage of every detail of her hellish figure, even her tenderness. It tortured him because he couldn't have her. Levi hated himself for wanting her. Until now, he had been careful enough to keep it all away, but there she was, burning his skin.

He gave her a polite gesture and left the dance floor. Petra felt mortified. She had pushed the limits way too far.

Levi abandoned the bar at once. He was frustrated on the surface and hard under his pants. The captain ended up returning to the safety of the barracks, where he tore through his rage and guilt. He wished he had stayed angry and defended himself for a little longer. He swore to himself that he wouldn't let her pass, but it was already too late.

He unbuttoned his pants and did what was necessary to get her out of his system.

Levi could never guess when he had fallen in love with her, only when it had started to be a problem.

Chapter 10: Enemies and Friends

Summary:

The ship gets closer and closer to shore, and soon the soldiers begin to deduce that Levi and Petra had been together... This is their chance to prove Eren's version. If he had lied, what decision would they make?

Notes:

Finally, here's chapter 10! This one is a little bit shorter, but don't worry, I will be posting again soon. I hope you like it 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Levi and the rest of 104 went down to the harbor, watching out not to be discovered.

"Stay here," he ordered his soldiers as he just walked over to meet Eren. The boy was near the shore, ready to stop the approaching ship. It seemed from their positions that Hange had already taken it upon themselves to give orders while they had been out.

Eren turned to look at the captain, fighting against his crippling exhaustion. He had taken Petra's turn, and now this would force him to use some more energy. Next to him was Commander Hange, who also came over to see why Levi seemed so upset.

Eren's eyes widened as he felt the captain's fist catch him by his cloak.

"Listen, did you say something about yesterday?"

Hange frowned as they approached, listening, confused to his words.

"N- no, sir," he replied, cold sweating out of nervousness.

"You better fucking don't," Levi whispered aggressively, attentively watched by Mikasa in the back.

"Then maybe, Levi, you could tell me?" Hange whispered to them as they arrived.

Levi raised his eyes to meet theirs with a worried expression. "Hange, keep him away during our meeting." The commander looked at him attentively. "I will explain to you afterward."

Rushing down the same slope with the rest of the soldiers, Petra's squad took up their positions.

"It was about time…" Jean whispered.

"Jean… Look at Petra's hair," Armin replied, attracting the eyes of the rest of his friends towards her as well.

Behind Petra, more recruits were starting to notice precisely the same…

Both of them had been missing when the ship started to appear, and although they had been found at different spots, their hair was dripping. It was apparent they had been together. Moreover, Levi was wearing the same clothes he had the day before.

They all turned their heads forward when Petra's menacing gaze met theirs. "Shit," she thought. That was her first day as a squad leader, and not only had she been out during their shift, she had disappeared with Levi, only for both of them to appear with wet skin and dry clothes. Petra was perfectly aware that her own squad must've realized the same thing by now.

Levi tilted his head back when he saw Hange's eyes fixated at some point behind him. His eyes met Petra's for a moment, and then Hange's again. He looked to the side with a frustrating sight, ashamed, and swallowed before opening his mouth.

"Eren, let's go," the commander spoke before he could say anything. Eren had been looking at the couple back and forth as well, as the pieces began to fit together.

"Captain, I-"

"For fucks sake, go ahead, Eren."

The aggressiveness in his tone had softened. He knew it wasn't Eren's fault that he was irritated. As much as Levi didn't entirely trust him, he had been the one to screw up. The boy immediately obeyed, making his way down, making sure not to be seen.

"You promised me this wouldn't come in the way…" Hange told the captain as soon as the shifter left.

"I know… Hange-"

"Should I accompany him?" Petra interrupted, peeking behind Levi's shoulder.

He fastly turned his face to look at her. Petra had pulled her hair up in a ponytail again. His heart ached at her sight… There she was, the woman he loved. How could he promise that she wouldn't come in the way? Her presence was enough to make his shoulders tremble.

"No, Petra. I don't want them to know who the other shifter is. It's likely they've come for your titan."

"I will come back to my men then," she nodded.

A moment of silence stretched between them before Hange laughed, "She's hot, not gonna lie." Levi turned to look at them, with a dislocated expression, "What are you saying now?"

"Be careful. Your weak flank has been exposed now."

That was the last thing the commander said before Eren's thunder lightened the sky, wrecking the ship in its path.

Things didn't go anywhere near as expected when a Marleyan soldier shot the fleet captain and volunteered to negotiate with them. Yelena presented herself as an enemy of Marley and as a chance to succeed.

It was pretty evident that they were too far technologically and knowledge to stand a chance against their enemy. They would need time to prepare and some help…

Petra's squad guarded the perimeter while she, Levi, and Hange reunited with Yelena. As the captain had requested, Eren had been pushed away as far as possible. After all, their enemies still needed the Founding Titan. Besides, it was their chance to test whether Eren had been telling them the truth.

"So, tell me… Have you found the jaw titan?" The tall blonde woman asked. "One of the reasons we were sent here was to see if we could get it back. You see, as I've told you, Marley is currently at war with the Mid-East Allied Forces. They rely heavily on their powers, but they're not doing as good as they used to… You stole two of them at once. If they weren't on edge, I wouldn't be surprised they made Zeke come back for one of them."

The atmosphere became tense. It wasn't a good idea to start an alliance with lies, but they didn't want to give away anything. Petra kept her hands locked behind her back, standing elegantly while keeping her breath down.

"You don't trust us, huh?" Yelena laughed.

"We're the ones making the questions now," Levi shut her down.

"It's alright. I guess I should keep proving myself," she replied, showing him her palms.

"Tell us, Yelena, have Marleyans by chance the capacity of resurrecting people?" Hange asked.

Petra's breath faltered a bit. Facing the truth was hard every time, even when she craved it.

"Fuck," Yelena let out, her eyes big as plates, "don't tell me you found out because… Does a resurrected soldier have it?"

"Just answer," Levi snapped again.

Yelena sighted, dying out of curiosity, while she reclined back in her chair.

"Indeed. Almost eight months ago, Zeke came here to test an experimental serum capable of resurrecting dead soldiers."

Levi's eyes ignited with a blue flame, keeping his temper silently as his veins roared. That son of a bitch, Zeke, who had taken pleasure in exterminating their soldiers, and their previous commander... So he had been the one to bring her back. Levi psyched himself to keep his focus on Yelena's words. That damned monkey was going to make him lose his mind.

"That serum was the result of an abandoned investigation conducted by a scientist that went by the name of Ethan Becker, but who knows where he really came from. He found a way of creating a fake serum resembling that of the Founding Titan, which is told to have the same ability…"

Petra and Levi listened carefully to her story, which fit Eren's… He had told them the truth.

It was hard to know if that was a relief or not, but Levi needed to know from her as well.

"Let's suppose we have it, that resurrected shifter. Is there any way we can expand their lifespan again?"

Both Hange and Petra looked at him.

"Not that we know… Except…"

Their hearts skipped a beat.

"It's not convenient at all, but… The serum of the founder can connect someone with the life source just once, but the Founding itself can do it for longer."

Petra gasped as she slowly let her hands fall to the sides.

"In other words, they could be saved by eating the Founding Titan."

Evelyn and Hugo stepped aside to let their superiors out. Petra was the last to leave, and she stopped to give them a few words.

"Thank you, guys. Take her with the rest of the prisoners, and you're dismissed for the day."

"Yes, sir," they saluted and watched as she turned to follow Levi and Hange again.

Evelyn guided Yelena with the barrel of her shotgun fixated on her back. Once they left her with the rest, they made their way back to rejoin the squad. They had a couple hours of rest till the next guard shift, and all of them were eager to have a private meeting. Evelyn and Hugo found them sitting around on the floor and way too quiet for what used to be their usual dynamic.

"Well, how was it?" Edith tried to break the ice while passing them a canteen.

"Ugh, good, I guess," Evelyn answered before taking a gulp.

"Really? You guys seem a bit down," the foxy woman continued looking at her comrades.

"It's not down. We're just confused," Nathaniel answered, directing all their gazes towards him. "Sabah and I come from the Military Police, and from what I've heard, you guys too. Back then, we were used to this kind of behavior, the secrecy, and sectarianism, but I honestly hoped for this to be different."

Silence stretched between them as their faces grew sad.

"He's right…" Sabah said. "You guys seem to have been receiving direct orders from Levi. Yesterday, you disappeared following Eren, and then did Petra and the Captain."

"Well, it was quite obvious by their hair that they've been together. Do you have any idea of what happened?" Nathaniel asked Edith and Hugo.

The couple looked at each other… It was true. They had been receiving orders from Levi that Petra didn't know about, but they had no idea what had happened after that, nor what was going on, really.

"See? We're a team, but you can't tell us either," Sabah continued.

"We don't know," Hugo broke, "we were asked to protect Petra by Captain Levi and to not tell anyone."

"Hugo!" Edith reprimanded him between her teeth.

"Edith, they're right. We come from the same place as well. The Military Police were corrupt. I don't want them to think we're the same," he turned to look at Nathaniel, "I've seen your records. You're related to Rico Brzenska, am I right?"

"Yes…"

"I know how dedicated your family has been to the military for decades, mostly through capital means, but it seems some of you risks your necks as well."

The team exchanged a couple of looks before Hugo continued.

"Later on, we were asked to protect her from Eren, specifically. Last night we saw him follow her, and we went behind him. Levi was soon to arrive, and it was evident Petra didn't know anything on the matter. We left them alone, talking, no idea what happened afterward."

"Well," Irina interrupted, "They went missing alongside Petra's sleeping bag and had their hair wet… They're clearly fucking."

"Irina!" Evelyn said.

"What!? Everybody has been talking about it, but that still doesn't answer why we should be concerned about Eren. Levi doesn't trust him. Maybe we should keep an eye on him too."

"How about we talk to Petra directly?" Evelyn suggested, "I'm sure she would appreciate us being honest as well."

They all looked serious, they felt surrounded by enemies even between their own, but maybe it was worth a shot.

On the opposite side of the camp, Levi and Petra had just explained their conversation with Eren to the commander.

"You felt it too, Hange. Now we have proved he has lied to us once more. He told us she couldn't be saved!"

"Maybe he didn't know, Levi," Petra tried to shut him down.

The captain turned to look at her in disbelief, "I am sorry, Petra, but if he could see all of that, there's no way he didn't know."

"But have you considered that maybe Yelena lied to us? What if I eat him, and it doesn't change a thing? Then we're left with a debilitated shifter that would be easier for them to trap," the ginger woman went on.

"He has lied to us before. He's trying to cover his own ass by killing you," Levi's tone intensified.

"He's a kid," she replied with the same intensity, looking directly into his eyes, "And you're the one trying to save me by killing him."

"WOW! Time to stop!" Hange tone tried to be cheerful and diminish the intensity of the tiny couple in front of them.

"You both guys have a point… Levi, I have to give it to Petra here; you're biased."

Levi hadn't taken his eyes off Petra, still haunted by her words. They both were right. He had been talking moved by desperation and adrenaline, but he wasn't anywhere close to knowing if he was capable of killing Eren.

It hurt to think this was their first conversation after confessing their feelings.

"You need to stop acting behind our backs, giving orders to Petra's soldiers without her knowledge… We might find another way, but if Eren continues to deceive us, and there comes the point where we can't trust him anymore, then we'll consider it."

"Commander… I don't think I can do something like that," Petra spoke with a saddened voice as Levi turned to look at her again.

"I'm sorry, Petra, but I rather put this burden to another shifter than to shorten someone else's life, and Armin has it far worse."

Petra lowered her face as she nodded, biting her lip.

"Levi's strategy isn't that bad… You should talk with your squad Petra and tell them these are my orders. They will fight under your orders, but let them keep an eye on you."

Petra's expression got a little frustrated, "I don't know if I have a squad of bodyguards anymore…"

"It's just a natural thing… You took care of me as well," Levi spoke softly, bringing a delicate blush to her face. His words caught her by surprise. She smiled tenderly at him, remembering how it all had started.

Hange looked at them with a nostalgic expression. He was right. Moblit himself had babysitted them until not long ago. The commander brushed the thought aside rapidly, trying to contain a sudden wave of tears.

"One last thing, you two…" Hange said, leaning slightly to hug them, "Humanity needs you… I need you. Right now, you're literally the last ones I can count on."

"Hange…" Petra rested her head on their shoulder, "We're sorry. I promised I'll devote myself to this cause. I won't let you down."

Levi swallowed as he listened to Petra's sweet voice. Her life didn't belong to him, but to their freedom… They needed to hold on a little longer until they could love each other with peace if they ever lived to see that day.

"One last thing, Hange," she asked, "Let me talk to Eren one last time."

The 104th soldiers were on guard duty, so it was easy to find Eren alone. Levi followed Petra from a safe distance, unable to hear their conversation. Months ago, Petra had managed to convince the boy to trust his strategy, and she was still sure of being able to bring him back.

"Hi, Eren! Were you able to rest a bit?"

"Hey, yes," he replied, somewhat dull.

"Is everything fine?" Petra asked, approaching him a little bit more.

"No. You know it's not," he sounded a little bit angry this time, making her feel guilty for approaching him in such a hypocritical manner.

"Yes, you're right. You lied to me."

"No, I didn't."

"We found out, Eren. I can be saved by eating you, isn't that true?"

"No, it's not. Unless you want your life to become a literal hell to then end up dying again."

"You're not making it easy for us, Eren. We need to trust each other."

"Did that work for you, Petra?" He replied bluntly, looking at her.

Her blood was starting to boil, and her patience began to run short.

"Yes, Eren. It kept YOU alive. You know, my teammates died for it too. Are you telling me it was in vain?"

"I didn't mean that…"

"Then make some sense, for fucks sake!"

He had never heard her talk like that. She suddenly sounded a bit like Levi.

His shoulders softened a bit. Petra's conviction amazed him, and he trusted her indeed, but that was the same reason he couldn't be honest with her.

"Petra, I need you to trust me… I told you it was your choice. I can't save you. If you eat me, you'll end up in my place. You won't be able to be with Levi either way."

She straightened quickly at his words. It had been that obvious? Everyone should know by now.

"Why?" She finally asked, a little bit flustered.

Eren stood up and turned to face her. His eyes conveyed an unintelligible misery.

"How much are you willing to pay for a little more time?"

Notes:

Thank you for reading! I'm cracking my head so hard with this... I hope you're down for some plot as well. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. 3

Chapter 11: The lucky ones

Summary:

"My secret, Petra, is that I've never had a choice. I've never had a saying, nor even in one thing."

Notes:

New chapter again! I'm finally out of my planning phase so chapters will be coming out faster. I'm so excited about what's about to come! Thank you capitainelevi (tumblr) for your input.

I also did a playlist to get you in the mood!

playlist/6cFpExtShiuhEDlwQMUas3?si=bLdKFu-1SNSqeI5klkW1VA

Chapter Text

Petra stood motionless before the boy. She was sick of trying to make sense of things, but she needed to find a reason again if she had to die. What would become of the lives that their friends had given? And overall, what did Eren really know?

"Take my hand," he whispered, regaining for a brief second the light in his eyes.

"I'm not going to, Eren."

The wind flicked her bangs, and she had to squint to look at him. Eren let his hand down again slightly.

"You're right. It might be better for you not to see it… But I want you to know-"

Petra raised her eyes to look at him once again.

"Whoever bears the Founding titan has access to the memory of all its shifters. It allows you to see the past and the future at times… If you eat me, you will have to carry all their crimes," he looked to the sides, terrified as if he were trying to make sure nobody's around.

"Petra," he continued lower, "If you eat me, becoming a monster is the last thing you will do."

The tired woman shook her head. It was harder to believe him by the moment, as much as she felt that the emotion in his eyes was genuine.

"You have four years before your body starts to deteriorate. I'll only need a little bit more time. I don't know how to make it faster… When the moment comes, you'll receive a letter with instructions. The only thing we both need is a little more time. I'll break the curse."

His nervousness was deluding any type of sense in his speech.

"Eren… Do you have any idea of how you sound? Are you making plans the rest don't know about?"

"Do you want to live or not?"

His eyes pierced her. Petra clenched her jaw and swallowed, "It depends. I'm willing to die for this if it keeps us moving forward."

"Moving forward," that's exactly it, he thought.

"Maybe there's a way of doing so without sacrificing you, but you will have to trust in my power this time."

His words hit her square in the chest. Eren was using what she told him back then to win her over. She hated to think that perhaps he was manipulating her, but there were still traces of that frightened child in his eyes. Maybe Eren would turn into a monster, but not yet.

"I'll look forward to that letter," she finally answered, walking away.

Levi watched her leave between the trees without taking his eyes from the boy. He had an advantage over them, but Petra had managed to open his heart once. Perhaps she could hold him down for a little longer.

Petra's squad sat in silence, debating whether or not they should talk to Petra.

"So…" Irina started, "You're going, right, Evelyn?"

"Why me!?"

"Well, you're the one who came up with the idea."

"I'll do it," Hugo sighed, "I snitched Eren's drama to you. I will have to take responsibility for that."

The whole group stared at him in worrisome when suddenly Evelyn stood up to salute. The rest followed quickly after seeing that Petra and Levi were approaching them.

Nathaniel let out a chuckle as he leaned a bit towards Sabah, "where do you think they come from?"

"Shut up, you brainless wet sock," they replied angrily.

The tall boy laughed even harder at Sabah's insult, instantly catching a murderous look from Levi that straightened his spine instantly.

"What's so funny, you shitty hair?" The captain snapped at him as he finished approaching.

The cadet was caught off guard by that comment, fixing the ash-haired toupee he was so proud of with his hand. Sabah was the one to choke a laugh this time.

"I can handle them myself, Levi," Petra cut him. His blood boiled at the flirtatious smirk Nathaniel gave them. Hange had told him his weak flank was exposed, and he indeed felt vulnerable as fuck after the whole Corps probably knew about their encounters.

"I'm glad to find you all together," their leader continued, "We need to talk."

"Yes, we do…" Hugo started. His amber eyes found Petra's in surprise. Levi came closer to listen to the tall bearded man as well.

"I told them about Eren. Well- We're all concerned about certain behaviors we've seen from our superiors."

He chose those words delicately, trying not to name them directly.

Petra couldn't hide a sudden blush, and her face lightened with rage. The whole squad tensed at her sight.

"Not THAT behavior!" Irina said, stepping forward, "We mean the secrecy, the weird orders, or the fact that you seem to not trust Eren." The blonde girl waved her hands as she talked, trying to calm the atmosphere.

Petra massaged her frown with her fingers, trying to calm herself down. "Thanks for the clarification, Irina. I see that you are very 'aware' of everything."

The whole squad cringed a bit. By that was pretty established that they knew. Levi's eyes were framed by a mixture of murderous intent and unease.

Petra tilted her head back and took a breath. "Thank you, guys, for trusting us." The soldiers breathed in relief at her reformed expression. "We came to talk to you just about that."

"Wait! So it's official that you're together!?" Irina shouted cheerfully.

"Irina!" Evelyn grabbed her by the cloak.

"For fuck's sake, kids…" Edith whispered, rubbing her face with her hand.

"I swear to god if you all don't shut up already," Sabah muttered.

"That's what I should say! Shut up and sit your asses, or I swear we're going to have it!" Petra's sudden strong voice froze them all. They had very seldomly seen her like that. She was impressively scary when she got angry.

All the soldiers sat at once in silence, ashamed at their erratic behavior. Levi turned his head to look at her, equally shocked at Petra's unexpected burst of fearsome rage. She surely wasn't going to have any problem keeping them at bay.

Petra stared at him for a moment, her cheeks still a little bit rosy, "what?" She asked in a bold tone.

Levi couldn't stop himself from smiling without taking his eyes from her. His handsomeness made her nervousness broke into a smile as well, which she tried to stop by biting her lips. She felt like a dumb teenager and was forced to put her eyes away from him in order to focus.

The squad stood in silence, shocked by his smile and the wholesome rush of energy that suddenly fled between the two. Nathaniel had to hide his mouth under his hand to cover a grin of laughter. That had been loud as fuck, and he had absolutely no self-control.

Petra had to contain the urge to kiss Levi right there. "Fuck," why would he smile at her like that when she's trying to get serious. Her mind was a complete mess.

"We have direct orders from Commander Hange," she started, feeling her heart trying to pound out of her chest. "It's time you learn a little bit more about my resurrection and how I gained my powers…"

Petra continued to explain all the circumstances surrounding their vision and how Eren had hidden information from them. Everything she told them had to be confidential, for Levi's squad was quite close to the suspicious shifter.

"In case anything were to happen and we couldn't continue to trust Eren, you guys would help her fight him and whoever comes in the way. Understood?" Levi finished.

"Whoever? You want us to fight against our own?" Evelyn asked.

"You know who our own is? Those who follow Hange's orders. If someone tries to disobey them to save Eren, they will be treated as traitors without regard," Levi answered. "You will follow Petra's orders while also making sure Eren doesn't surpass."

"You don't need to worry for now. This is only a hypothetical situation," Petra tried to calm them down.

"But it doesn't fix the fact that this might divide the army at some point," Edith spoke. "If the moment comes to decide between Eren and Petra."

"I will do it," Sabah interrupted. "Your main concern is that girl, right? Mikasa. I can face her." The whole group paid attention to their words. "It is true. We've come this far thanks to Eren, but that doesn't mean he can't come in the way later on. Countless lives have been offered in his name, so if we have to sacrifice him to fulfill their purpose, then we will."

Levi's eyes were fixated on the raven-haired soldier. Where the hell did they come from? And most importantly, why were they so sure they could face Mikasa?

"I am with Sabah," Hugo said, "I know we can trust lieutenant Petra. We will stand by your side."

"Yes! Absolutely," Irina spoke.

The rest of the soldiers nodded in agreement, and the matter was settled. Petra's faction was ready to defend her as the legitimate heir to the Founding titan.

Moments after, the squad broke up to continue their watch.

Levi and Petra began to return to the command center. Hange was probably amused learning about some new technological trinkets, and soon Levi would go back behind the walls to bring the news to the capital.

They walked through the forest in silence, occasionally looking at each other. Petra couldn't get his smile out of her head. She needed to kiss him before they arrived.

"That soldier that offered themselves to fight Mikasa, what do you know about them?" Levi started, crashing her expectations.

"We can talk about that in five minutes," Petra answered, placing her palm on his cheek. "Right now, I need something else," she whispered, getting closer.

His lips ignited the dormant fire in her belly instantly. They kissed each other softly for a moment before rapidly growing desperate.

Levi locked her by the waist, leaning towards her as she bit his lower lip. He returned her kiss harder, his thumb stroked her neck, and his tongue found its way to hers.

"Mngh…" She moaned loosely while getting away from him. "Don't smile at me like that while I'm trying to focus."

"Is this about that?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe?" Her face and neck were a little bit red, and her chest raised and fell with her breath. Petra enjoyed the sensation of having his eyes all over her.

"You're deranged."

"You're so hot, fuck," Petra trapped his face to kiss him again, pressing herself eagerly against the man she loved.

Levi grabbed her waist delicately, pulling his face away, "What?"

"You- are- so- fucking- hot," she told him, placing kisses down his neck and giggling at her own thirstiness.

"You...Thanks," Levi replied awkwardly. He hated flattery, but that felt… Different.

Petra laughed at his reaction. He was paralyzed by her words, but she was way too into him at the moment. Levi grabbed her head to kiss her more and moaned when she started to touch him over his pants.

"Stop…" He asked between sights of pleasure.

She obeyed immediately, "what is it?"

"I need to go see Hange. You should wait until we come back. I'm pretty sure they'll let me bring you. Let's behave for now."

"And what are you going to do about that?" She teased tenderly, looking down at his evident boner.

"You want to know?"

"Yes…"

He grabbed the pretty ginger by the face and spoke into her ear, "I will hide in my fucking tent and stroke the shit out of me for the three seconds I'm going to last."

Petra's legs shook at the sole thought of him. "Then I'll do the same," she said, brushing her cheek against his. Her eyes were teary from longing.

Levi placed his lips delicately on her forehead as he took her right hand on his. His eyes locked on hers as he sucked on her middle and ring fingers, wetting them for her.

"Now you're ready to go then."

After a few days, they found themselves back within the walls. Petra and Levi returned with a small regiment that was in charge of delivering supplies. They needed more provisions, new materials, and to contact the government to streamline the industrial sectors required to manufacture the new weapons. But first of all, Levi would act as a representative of the commander in the capital, communicating the latest advances, which carried the possibility of infiltrating Marley.

Fortunately, their last missions had been surprisingly fruitful, so they could surely count on a good number of investors. Petra's mission in all of this was to act as a second mate, assisting Levi. Although Hange knew they were doing them another favor behind the scenes. After all, there was a chance that Eren wouldn't betray them, having to ask both of them to let their love die in his jaws.

The carriage glided through the streets as the couple enjoyed the silence. Petra was distracted staring out the window, while Levi had his gaze fixed on his knees, casually looking up at the beautiful woman.

It was perhaps the second time he had seen her in an officer's uniform. The dull green of the fabric contrasted with her reddish hair and golden eyes, and her profile revealed a subtle braiding in her updo. Petra looked severe as well as ethereal, elegant but superb.

When he glanced at her, he felt glad to be a detail-oriented man. He usually hated noticing all the minor mistakes, the blemishes that no one else saw, and the sloppiness in people's appearances. However, with her, he enjoyed those things. He knew when she cut her nails, when her hair was freshly washed, and how often she polished her boots. It was like a little obsession, looking at Petra and trying to figure how she did those little things.

Sometimes he wondered if she ever did the same. Maybe she noticed the glow on his freshly shaved face, how many cufflinks he owned for shirts or even the mends on some of his uniforms. Did those details matter to her as well?

Levi's mind was sliding through Petra's braids when suddenly, a slight spasm took her up. Her expression changed, and she leaned out better to look at the window. Levi got up from the seat to look at what she saw.

"What is it?"

"That lady, the one with the kid," she told him, signaling a humble middle-aged woman hand in hand with a child.

"Who is she?"

"Oruo's mother."

Levi's eyes turned to her, sharing the sadness in her expression. The captain looked back at the woman once more, glimpsing his subordinate in the shape of her eyes.

Driven by gravity, he slowly sank back onto the seat in front of her while Petra twisted her body as much as possible to keep looking at her.

Bitterness settled on Levi's shoulders. It had been a while since Petra expressed her survivor's guilt. He felt it too, especially after thinking that poor Oluo probably had feelings for her as well. They had always been very close. He even came to believe that maybe there was something between them until he saw the way Petra replied to his advances.

"You know," she started, "they're the sweetest people ever. It's hard to think they could raise such a dickhead-"

Petra choked, and her eyes filled with tears as she leaned her head against the window. Her breath shook for a moment, but then she wiped her tears and looked at Levi again.

"Maybe I'll take the chance to pay them a visit… If that's-"

"Do it…" He replied softly, unable to look at her.

"Back in the forest, when we were about to talk with Eren, I recalled something… I've had dreams about them."

"Petra."

"I know I heard him scream before I died. He was still alive. Oluo was the last one standing-"

"Stop!"

He didn't shout, but his voice wasn't soft either. Petra was startled by his reaction, looking at him in awe. He had never heard him beg like that.

Levi looked to the side while wiping his mouth with the palm of his hand as if he wanted to clean his own words there. His knee wouldn't stop moving, but as fast as the nerves took over his body, he suppressed them.

"You don't want to know it either, isn't it?" She asked as a tear ran down her face.

"I already know. I just don't want to see it again."

His expression was somber, and his eyes sad. Petra just needed to talk to someone but hadn't really considered his position. She just felt carried by the certainty that he understood her.

The petite woman got up and sat next to him, holding his hand as she leaned on his shoulder. Levi let his head fall over hers.

Maybe he wasn't as open as Petra, but whenever she broke down, he did as well.

Between meetings and bureaucracy, the couple found their moments of peace. They stayed in a lovely apartment inside the Wall Rose, courtesy of several businessmen. There, they could pretend to be an average couple, living together in their dream home.

They had looked forward to being alone, fantasizing about loving gestures and endless nights of ruthless sex. However, reality always seemed to hit them in the face.

Fatigue took hold of them before they could have any talk of substance, and the daily tasks lost their charm when thinking about their current situation. It almost seemed easier to love each other when surrounded by an arsenal in some forbidden corner of their camp.

Levi walked around the house barefoot, thus maintaining the floor that he had taken care to leave spotless. He was wearing a plain T-shirt and linen pants. Petra watched him walk into the kitchen, thinking that he looked even smaller in those clothes.

He felt guilty about how their coexistence was going. Levi had managed to behave like a decent partner back in that river, but his true self couldn't be hidden. As much as they loved their romantic rendezvouses, they also needed their moments to recharge, especially him.

Levi felt fragile by her side. What would she think about the endless silences between them or the way he paced senselessly around the house? He normally used that intimacy to be sad, and he soon found out that so did she.

They would snuggle in bed for hours in their free time. He had often been the little spoon, enjoying with his eyes closed the kisses that she gave him.

"Levi…"

"What?" He breathed, turning to face her.

She kissed him softly on the lips, "I want to know you."

"You mean you don't?"

"I do… Except for your past," his eyes opened, "I want to know more about your mother or how you ended up here. I want to hear it from you. If you don't want to, then it's fine. Just tell me a dumb little secret or something."

"You."

Petra giggled at how serious he was even saying that. "I don't think that's a secret anymore."

"It used to."

Petra smiled, thinking about the fact that he had loved her too in the lonely nights where she brought the teapot back to the kitchen, thinking this would never happen.

"I'll go first then," she said, laying on her back to look at the ceiling, trying to remember as good as she could.

"I asked Moblit to teach me how to draw because I thought you were going to need an artist or whatever too."

Something melted in Levi's chest as he tilted his head to see her. She was blushing and laughing.

"And that's not even the worst one! Remember that party three years ago? Here, in Wall Rose, with all those rich merchants."

"I do."

"You ignored me all night. I mean, of course! You were with Erwin and Hange doing important stuff, talking… Well, actually watching them talk for you," she chuckled. "I don't know what I expected to happen, but I looked at you all night long. That's when Eld realized I liked you."

Levi listened to her as if nothing else existed in the world.

"I initially refused to drink but ended up accepting three glasses or so. I went back to my quarters and cried for hours…"

"That's lame as fuck…"

Petra turned to look at him with an offended expression and saw he was smiling.

"I will ignore that."

Levi tittered a bit as he hugged her.

" Aaand It gets worse…"

"Fuck, I took you seriously."

Petra burst into laughter before continuing, "I legit fantasized of marrying you and living inside Wall Rose, in a house like this. I didn't think about how the hell that could happen, given that we were both so active in the military. I just liked to think about being Captain Levi's wife and bragging like crazy."

A moment of silence followed. Petra lifted her eyes to look at him again and saw tears running down his face.

She quickly put her torso over him and caressed his face.

"Levi… I'm sorry. I wanted to make you laugh."

He closed his eyes as he sobbed for a moment. "I want this too… I'm so tired of-" Levi tried to keep his voice as level as possible.

"My secret, Petra, is that I've never had a choice. I've never had a saying, nor even in one thing. No matter how many orders I give or how strong I am. In the end, I'm nothing else but a tool, and sometimes I even doubt I'm working. I just went along with it because I never felt like something mattered until I joined the Corps. Now I regret it.

Sometimes I've wondered how many fallen comrades would I have to betray to take you away and let you die in peace, with me, somewhere else. How much damage would it cause to humanity for you to choose your last day and let your powers be passed to the first newborn? For the first time in years, Petra, I've regretted. I regret not kissing you back then, that I let you die the first time, and letting go of that badge. I wonder if all of this was worth anything at all or if anything of this really matters. There are moments... where I hate it all."

Petra looked at him with a sorrowful expression, her hand still on his face. "Levi, that's normal. That's just how humans work; we doubt. You know what? I love this the way it is, much more than any fantasy I had back then. No matter how good I imagine things, the real you is so much better. It's up to us, Levi. We will make all of it matter. You taught me that. I know that it sucks now, but I swear I do believe we have a chance. I believe in you. I've always had."

She started crying, too, clinging to his shoulders. "I won't die, Levi. We will make it out and live together, somewhere else."

"You can't know that…"

"But I do. We'll either save the world or die together, but it won't be meaningless. I promise."

They hugged each other as their pain melted away.

In the loneliness of the room, they couldn't have imagined that somewhere beyond their reality, a little blond girl had laid eyes on them. Without knowing it, they had been pleading compassion to the right ruler.

Chapter 12: Deus ex machina

Summary:

"How did you get here?"

Notes:

Surprisingly, I wasn't on crack while writing this chapter. I'm eager to know your opinions!

Chapter Text

Petra forced herself to keep her eyes closed in hopes of falling asleep. It was difficult to calm herself down when she saw so many things happening before her eyelids. Bolts of light woke her every time her consciousness began to fade, with words and screams that she couldn't know the origin of. She tried to ease her mind by convincing herself that she was just paranoid.

The awareness of having such power was enough to break any mind. It wasn't crazy to think that the stress and hopelessness could cause visions more vivid than any Founding Titan.

Every now and then, her body would warm under the covers, and she would jump out of bed. The nervous woman touched her arms and the back of her neck, afraid that they would start to burn and decompose. Trembling, she covered herself again after realizing that it was just her natural heat.

"Are you okay?" Levi asked.

"Yes… Don't worry."

Any temperature change made cold beads of sweat run down her back. Ah yes, her back ... that one day would become brittle until it breaks like breadcrumbs.

Against all this, Petra fought every night. After all, it is difficult to fall asleep when one doubts being able to get up again. She should be fine for the next four years, but still, she felt volatile, unpredictable, as if her body didn't belong to her. The soft-touch of Levi's hand in her waist soothed her, and the urge to turn yet again under the blankets disappeared.

Slowly, her racing mind began to drift away, and the colors she saw became warmer - Orange, yellow, and the image of a tree.

Petra's body dropped down with a mighty force, making the air from her lungs disappear. She opened her eyes with a sudden gasp. Her limbs seemed to disappear for a moment, and all she could see now was black.

"Levi!" She tried to scream, but no sound came out.

Her hands reached the ground, trying to get a glimpse of where she was in the complete darkness. It felt big as if she were in an infinite space, and the ground beneath her swayed like a cradle. A cold rush of air brushed her forearms. The ground was freezing and soft… She knew that sensation; there was sand underneath.

Petra touched the soft material, letting it spill between her fingers. Her senses started to come back slowly, and she suddenly could hear her hitched breath inside her head. The still blinded woman was startled when a loud, white sound engulfed her. It was so loud it made her crawl forward in fear. She had the impression that a tremendous force was dragging itself towards her.

Little by little, a blue light started to appear on the horizon. Her sight had come back, and now she could see a gigantic ray of light that climbed up the sky as a never ending explosion. It looked like a tree…

Over her head, thousands of branches disappeared into a pitch-black void, carrying their own unique sound. The more attention she paid to it, the more overwhelming it became. Petra tried to shift her focus into another thing, not knowing if it was safer for her to approach whatever that was.

"What kind of dream is this?"

Her feet crawled over the dunes, the unevenness diverted her a bit from her path, but the closer she got, the more the ground flattened. Chills ran down her arms as she swore the white sound coming from that bolt of light shifted into voices. The light forced her to squint as she came closer, but she managed to distinguish a small figure approaching her.

"Hi?" She asked softly, scared to lift her voice any higher.

The figure stopped. It was smaller than her… It looked like a little girl.

Petra's sight went completely white, and she started falling again. Before she could even realize it, the little girl was standing before her, but she could only see her for a second. Her eyes were big, tense, full of horror and sadness as she dwelled into Petra's.

Thousands of images flashed into her mind. Petra felt as she had been frozen while a sequence of memories ran through her. Some voices and names repeated. Then it stopped.

She saw herself standing on a rooftop in a white dress. She had seen this before; this was her death. Eren's titan was about to grab her when suddenly a soldier attacked. Who had that been?

Too late. She was somewhere else.

Petra saw herself standing on another rooftop. She had never been to a city like that... Her uniform was different, and she was holding a letter. Screams filled the sky as people ran through the streets. Eren's titan was fighting another… Her other self turned around and looked at her directly in the eye.

"Follow him," she spoke before the images flew again.

Death bodies of civilians were scattered on the floor, and the silhouette of a familiar soldier hung lifeless from one of the buildings.

"Edith?" Petra muttered. "Why- What is going on?"

Everything moved again fast around her, and she saw a giant figure whose spine skimmed the clouds…

In the blink of an eye, Petra was back in the dark desert. Her mind was racing, and her hands shook. She looked around her and saw the little girl again. She was listening to a man. They both stopped to look at her.

She doubted for a second. "E- Eren?" His hair was long, and he barely looked like himself.

"How did you get here?"

Petra woke up with a startle, trying to figure out where she was. That vision had been so intense it took her a few moments to come back to reality. She sighed in relief at the thought of being back. Her body couldn't get rid of the adrenaline and the numbing sensation of that place. The feeling of that dream had marked her like red hot iron iron.

She turned her head back in search of Levi's reassuring presence, but the bed was empty. Fear wouldn't leave her, so she went out to search for him. Petra couldn't discard the idea that something terrible had happened. What if she hadn't even managed to get up?

"Levi!?" She opened the door of the study and saw him sitting in a chair.

Levi grunted, opening his eyes as he craned his neck. "Fuck, Petra…"

His voice brought some peace to her racing heart. "I'm sorry… I saw you were gone, and I got worried."

Levi massaged his neck a bit, nervous. He was embarrassed about leaving her alone. He always had problems sleeping, and the constant change of location didn't help. After a while, he decided to get up and recreate his usual sleeping environment in hopes of getting some rest. He had even put his uniform back on...

"I couldn't sleep," he spoke.

Petra's eyes examined him. It was weird to think that a skinny wooden chair could be in any way comfier than a bed. It was pretty evident at times like these that Levi preferred "known" over "better."

"It's fine… Whatever you need."

The tired man leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "What is it?"

"I had this bizarre dream. It fucked me a bit."

"As long as you can wake up, it isn't so bad," he sighed.

"You're right," she smiled softly. "Do you need something?"

"No. Do you?" He raised his gaze to look at her.

"No… Well- Can I stay?"

Levi pulled his body back upright and raised an arm towards her.

The lovely woman walked towards him and stopped a few feet away. Petra lifted the skirt of her nightgown and sat on top, facing him. Her weight fell over Levi's legs, and she soon made sure to get some on his crotch as well. He slid his back down slightly, trying to feel her better.

"I don't want to come back," she told him.

"That's the only way we have to get through this," he replied sleepily, caressing her face with his fingers.

"I will go to meet Oruo's family tomorrow."

Levi opened his eyes even wider as if to help him evaluate her words better. "Are you sure you're ready for that?"

"I think so."

"I need to warn you. They might react badly. After all, they thought you all had died, but suddenly you came back alive, so…"

"You think they might suspect Oruo is secretly alive as well?"

"Who knows, but they surely might ask themselves why couldn't their son be the one."

"Well, they have a point," she replied sadly.

"If it's going to affect you, I prefer for you to stay here," he hugged her softly.

Petra kissed his cheek and then his lips.

He was right. They still had some days left to make up for the lost time. Who knows when they will have another opportunity to be like this again. His hand pressed her hips, inviting her to rock herself a little against him. Petra's expression relaxed as her body started to crave him.

"Would you stay with me?" He whispered to her lips, caressing the bridge of her nose with his.

"I don't know yet."

She kissed him harder, completely aware of her effect on him. He undid the ties on her nightgown, dragging the delicate fabric up her torso as he pulled it off.

Levi was in awe, almost worshipping every shape of her. She deserved to be told how beautiful she was, but he always found himself being a silent admirer.

Her hair had fallen in a perfect mess, reflecting thin streaks of light next to her face, and her eyes appeared like two dormant suns in the gloom. She looked like dusk and dawn, beginning and end, just as she was both alive and dead.

Since childhood, Levi had learned to associate desire with pain. He had seen his mother suffer from carnal greed, coming to hate the thought of it years after, but Petra's kisses felt precisely as he would have expected. Didn't he feel the unhealthy greed of those who can't let go? Wasn't this the pain he had been preparing for all his life?

Petra's hands went up and down his torso, making him shiver. He wanted to have her all over him. The pale man took her up in his arms and carried her back to their bedroom, where they intended to finish their lovely affair.

She laid back in the withe sheets, giving him a full view of her naked body, and raised her arms over her head when her lover climbed hungrily over her. Levi's lips were about to meet her skin when he suddenly stopped.

A puzzled expression took over his face as his hands roamed the sheets beneath her.

"What is it?" Petra asked in confusion.

He looked back at her, "why is there sand in the bed?"

The next morning they both went out for a visit. However, Oruo's family would have to wait. There was another person they had to talk to. Now it was clear that there was something else about Petra's powers that had been overlooked. Levi contacted the merchant who facilitated their stay to get a carriage and head to the outer walls. Before noon came, they had already covered half the journey.

"Are you alright?" Levi asked her.

Petra rubbed her hands nervously, "hell no, this can't be happening."

"We might be wrong, but if our theory is true, then Hange's plan might go to shit."

"Let's not make assumptions beforehand," she answered, trying to calm herself down.

"What if he doesn't want to talk?"

The ginger girl turned to look at him. "He will, for me. You stay back." Her eyes burned like melted gold. Levi had never witnessed such rage in her look.

"I will trust in your own 'resources' then."

"I won't need anything else but a question," she cut him.

He understood what she felt. After all, it was her father they were talking about. The same man that seemed so close to her a couple of months ago… It had never occurred to Levi that behind his seemingly innocent nervousness, that man could be actually hiding some serious secrets.

Soon they were moving away from the city, and the little house by the road appeared on the horizon. Just like during their first visit, Petra decided to get off early. "We can go from here," she told Levi, jumping off.

He went off after her and signaled the coachman to wait for them. The captain silently walked behind Petra with his hands inside his pockets. Last night, when he told her there was sand in their sheets, he could never have imagined something like this. Petra's eyes went big, and she started desperately looking for evidence that what he was telling was true.

Petra not only had had visions, but she had also been somewhere. Eren had told them that the reason she could have visions was probably that she had been resurrected using a serum that came from the Founding titan. Yelena had also told them she was connected to the source of life through it, so in a way, she shared that with Eren. However, she didn't have the Founding titan herself. How was it possible for her to have visions alone without counting on another factor that they knew affected the power of the Founding ... Royal blood.

They had tried to puzzle the pieces together all night long, and suddenly everything started to make sense. Eren had frozen when he touched Historia's hand, and it had precisely been with a handshake that they both had seen her death. Moreover, during their last talk, he had asked her to hold his hand again, which she refused. Maybe Eren suspected it already.

"How did you get here?" That was what he asked her back in that place. Was this part of Eren's plan too?

Petra stood in front of her own house and knocked on the door. Her feet were on the ground, but she felt as if she was flying. Levi's hand squished her shoulder softly, making her realize she had stopped breathing. The tired woman let out a sigh and looked back at him. His eyes were strangely soulful and comforting. "I'm so lucky to have you by my side," she thought.

The door bolt clicked, and Elias's surprised face appeared on the other side.

"Petra, Captain Levi! W- What a surprise! I didn't know you were already back… I'm glad to see you together!"

Petra's expression softened at his familiar warm expression. That was right. During her last visit, she had told him about Levi. Little did he know that most soldiers knew about them now too.

"Dad, can we go in? It's important," her serious tone changed his expression completely.

"Of course, of course…" He said, opening the door completely to let them in.

The uniformed couple walked inside the dining room and remained standing. The grandeur of their presence seemed to indicate that they were on duty. Petra's father soon realized something was off.

"Can I offer you something?"

Levi preferred to remain silent as he looked at Petra to see what her following words would be.

"No, dad. We've come here to talk to you as soldiers. Please, take a seat."

Elias took out a handkerchief from his pocket and cleaned the sweat running down his forehead as he sat down.

"I'm all yours," he smiled.

Petra grabbed another chair and sat in front of him. "Dad, it's crucial that you tell me the truth. I want you to know that whatever lies you've told to me, they don't matter now. I just need the truth."

Elias blinked in confusion. "Wh- Why would I?"

"I need you to tell me about mom… What did you actually know about her?"

The man before her went pale as a sheet as he slowly reclined back. He looked to his side as if he had suddenly recalled something. Elias rubbed his face anxiously and a grin of pain crossed his face.

"Why? Why now, Petra? What do you know?"

"Answer me," she demanded.

"I already told you, she died during labor."

"That's not what I'm asking for!"

Petra saw how his father's eyes shifted to Levi, and she got up immediately at the realization that he was walking towards them. "Don't you dare touch him."

Her words make him stop in his tracks, but his eyes still were fixed on Petra's father. "What do you say, Elias? Your daughter is trying to save your ass. How about you start talking?"

Levi gasped in surprise the moment he felt Petra grabbing him by the collar. Her eyes were locked on his. "How about he saves your ass?" She spoke with a fierce expression.

"Well, this could work too", he thought. "Is this insubordination, Ral?"

"Yeah, and I'm about to show you what a good beating is, too."

His eyebrow went up at her audacity. She meant it for real.

"Please stop!" Elias got up. "I will tell you everything… It's just that I didn't know much about her either. She didn't want to tell me."

Petra let go of Levi and walked back to her seat, ready for yet another revelatory talk.

"I was very young and naive back then… I had a fight with my parents. They wanted to leave this farm to your uncle. He was very different in his youth. He didn't even try, yet still, he always seemed to get all the rewards. I got fed up with the situation and ran away. During that period, I worked for many landowners as a day laborer. The job wasn't quite good, but anywhere but home was fine. I went up and down until I ended working on a farm in Orvud District."

Petra and Levi looked at each other. That was where the Reiss family lived.

"There was this girl that always came there. She liked to choose her own apples… From what I knew, she was part of a small noble family that lived nearby. We talked a couple times, and I ended up falling for her. I told her we could run away together, start a new life, but she always refused me. After some more time, I managed to convince her. It was a huge mistake…"

Elia's expression grew somber. "She made us go as far away as possible, change our names and all… I didn't understand why she feared her family that much. I just thought her parents might have been strict or something. We started working at a farm in Karnese, and everything seemed fine. Then one night, she woke me up. A group of mysterious men had stormed into the stables killing some workers. She told me they were coming for her.

We had to fly away and change our identities again. Thank god I didn't give my real name at that first farm neither! I didn't want my family to find me, but it ended up saving my neck. She was already pregnant by then… Your mother had to give birth alone, with my only assistance. That's probably why she couldn't make it.

I buried her in the woods and came back home with you. I made everybody swore they wouldn't tell you. I was afraid you were going to try and find your other family and get killed…"

Petra had her hands on her lap and was trying her best not to cry. "Mom… What was her real name? You told me she was called like me…"

"Her real name was Ada... I'm so sorry, Petra."

The room remained in silence as tears ran down her face. She had been leaving flowers in a fake grave all these years.

"Did she tell you anything else about her family? Not even a single name?" Levi asked.

Elias nodded. "Yes… She had an older brother called Rod. According to her, it was him who sent those men after us."

"Thank you. That's all we needed to hear," Levi said and walked off the room.

He felt terrible for leaving Petra alone, but he thought it would be more suitable for them to talk by themselves. The petite man went outside and sat on the fence. He waited for what seemed an eternity. Levi just wanted to be with her again. He even thought about some "shitty uncle" jokes to cheer her up. They shared that too now.

"Talk about coincidences," he thought. Kenny had been close with Uri, who happened to be Petra's family as well. It seemed like the Ackermans couldn't help themselves when it came to royalty.

After a while, Petra came out to meet him. Her eyes were red and swollen, just like her nose.

"What do you want to do now?" Levi asked.

"I told him we were coming back. Hange is about to go bald for my fault."

That was right. Her royal blood could cause that after eating the Founding Titan she lost her desire to fight. Levi brought a hand to his head, "shit." If she couldn't eat Eren they were fucked all over again. He was rumbling about their problems when her sad face snapped him back.

"At least they haven't been threatened with a beating," he grunted after a while.

Petra felt ashamed for that shortcoming, "you were the one to threaten my dad!"

"Do you really think I was about to beat your dad in front of you?"

She blushed a bit. It sounded like something Levi would do. "I- I wasn't thinking. Sorry."

Levi felt discouraged to think she viewed him that way, but he couldn't deny that he had earned his reputation. "Fucking idiot," he walked towards her, putting his forehead against hers. Petra tilted her head slightly and put a soft kiss on his lips.

She was sure now. Whatever Eren had envisioned, she would follow. He didn't seem trustworthy, but that's all they had left.

"I love you," she told him as another tear fell down her cheek. "You're literally keeping me sane right now."

Levi held her face with one hand, feeling the tingle of her soft hair. "Let's go back."

The way back seemed way shorter. As always, Petra entertained herself by looking through the window. She looked like a little girl with that sorrowful expression. One didn't discover that almost everything they knew about a dead parent was a lie every day.

Levi left her on their bed and headed out again. He came back with some cheesecake for the tea, which managed to cheer her up a bit. Many hugs and caresses were necessary to ease her pain. She was genuinely surprised that he didn't seem to let go. They grew closer by the day.

"This is really nice, thank you," she told him, taking another bite of the delicious dessert. She smiled at the thought of being this spoilt. Levi could be adorable at times.

They were sharing a chair again, Petra on top of him as he leaned on her back. From his position, he could listen to her heartbeat and smell the soap of her clean shirt. She felt like a dream. Despite everything happening, this was so much better than being alone. Levi would choose this life one hundred times just for moments like this. He couldn't imagine a world where she hadn't come back.

There was something more he needed to do. It was pretty evident that the moment wasn't going to come for them, so there wasn't any point in delaying it.

"Petra…"

"What?" She asked, trying to read the weird tone of his voice.

"Marry me."

Chapter 13: Flowers in her hair

Summary:

"He thought this was bittersweet, yet she seemed so perfectly happy. For her, this was still as good as things could be. Petra's love was slipping through his fingers, but that's what this was about... Giving her everything before she had to go."

Notes:

Don't get used to these peaceful chapters... They're about to come to an end! (evil laughter)

I hope you like it! 3

Chapter Text

Petra put the spoon on the plate and finished swallowing the piece of cheesecake thoughtfully. It took a moment for Levi's words to take on meaning, but the second they did, fireworks flew across her belly.

She twisted her torso to look at him, wiping with her fingers a sticky marmalade stain from the corner of her lip. Levi's arms let her go as she turned. His face seemed peaceful. "Don't do that," he told her with a sigh as he reached for a handkerchief to clean her fingers.

"What did you tell me?" She asked. Her huge eyes seemed even bigger with her astonishment and her tongue nervously tried to clean any residue left in her teeth.

His thoughts raced frantically at the sight of her face, making him realize how consequential his declaration had been. It was real now.

"Marry me," he repeated, strangely aware of the sound of his voice as if he was hearing it from her perspective. It was breathy and strangely more ethereal than he tended to visualize it. His eyes never left her, having to tilt his head slightly upwards to look at the woman sitting on his lap.

Her expression shifted rapidly in a tornado of emotions he could barely read from his own. Her eyes seemed sad for an instant, but then she smiled slightly, then lost her gaze elsewhere, darkening the light of her face again. "You're this convinced I'm not going to make it?"

Levi frowned at her words and squished her waist with his hands. His eyes fell to the floor for a second before he continued, "I don't know- I can't know that." He leaned his face closer to hers, and Petra felt herself drown in their deep blue. "We can't wait until we have certainties, because we will never have them. This might be the only chance you get to fulfill that dream. You said you wanted to marry me and live in a house like this inside wall Rose. You could have that for two days if you marry me tomorrow... That I can give you."

"Tomorrow?" Her hands gripped her skirt in an attempt to hold onto stability. Petra's breath was breaking, torn between emotion and crying. "It's good for me," she replied, "that's all I need." She couldn't do anything else but stare at him in the orange sunset light. Her mind had never known such a sense of fulfillment. Truly, that was all she wanted.

Her hands cupped his face and without losing a moment she started kissing him vehemently. Her enthusiasm was met with the grip of his strong hands. Petra continued to deliver breathy kisses as he welcomed her sweetly, dazed by her gestures. She wanted to desperately pour all of herself into him. How could someone feel so incredibly happy after such a day? He always had that effect on her, as if that was where she belongs. It was nice to know she still had chances to win in life, no matter what.

Levi opened his eyes slowly, saddened of losing the tenderness of her fleshy lips. Petra swayed her legs fastly while laughing. She covered her face with her hands and let herself fall over his shoulder for a second before getting up with a screechy scream. Meanwhile, Levi looked as she broke down into a lovely excited mess.

He thought this was going to be bittersweet, yet she seemed so perfectly happy. For her, this was still as good as things could be. Petra's love was slipping through his fingers, but that's what this was about ... Giving her everything before she had to go.

"Do you want to tell your father?"

"I think so," she replied, wiping a tear. "But that would mean admitting to him that I'm in danger. It's too sudden."

"You didn't tell him anything?"

"No…"

Levi wouldn't have judged her if she had spoken. He thought Petra was incredibly strong. Her soul seemed to always be on display for everyone to see, but still, she managed to remain immovable in her convictions. She was a perfect mixture of strength and vulnerability in a way he had never seen.

"Do you want to go to bed? You seem a little tired," he asked, adverting the dark circles appearing under her eyes.

"I think I will go write my vows first," she smiled at him, suddenly surprised at his constipated expression. "Or maybe I won't… We can skip that part if you want."

Levi looked to the side a little bit disappointed in himself. Just one look and he had taken away another thing from their wedding. "You don't have to care about me being comfortable. You know that, right?"

"It's fine! I'm more afraid you might spoil the moment with your dry-ass honesty," she admitted jolly.

"Fair enough," he smiled, looking down. She loved when he did that. It was sad that he felt the need to hide his face whenever an emotion arose him, but it felt honest, like everything else with him.

After a while, they cleared the table and went to bed in hopes of getting some rest after their previous sleepless night. Levi decided to take a shower, and when he returned he was surprised to see Petra changing her nightgown again.

"What is it?"

"Oh… Nothing," she seemed discouraged for an unknown reason. "I'm bleeding a bit. It shouldn't happen yet but my cycle has gotten messier since I came back."

Levi was puzzled by the change in her face. Did she want to get pregnant? It was too irresponsible of an idea to go through Petra's head. Maybe she felt that was going to spoil their wedding night.

"It's… that a problem?"

Petra raised her head at the realization. "So that's not what she was thinking about", he guessed.

"No, I don't think so. It probably would've stopped by tomorrow. I heal faster so I bleed less. That's at least what they concluded on my checkups... Hange and Irina think that I might not be ovulating at all."

He was struck hardly by that confession. Did that mean she wasn't able to get pregnant? "Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"It's in the report of my tests." She answered without raising her eyes, quickly grabbing her clothes and heading for the laundry room. Naturally, Levi followed her.

"You're suggesting I should go check your files instead of asking you directly?" Levi asked, appearing through the doorframe.

Her hands moved rapidly across the fabrics, but his words made her stop. She had given him an ugly answer. "I'm sorry, Levi… I'm touchy on the matter."

He approached resolutely, getting close enough to claim her attention again. With a delicate gesture, he took the clothes from her hands and left them on the sink. She let him do it, feeling how one of his arms embraced her again.

It wasn't shocking to find that Petra probably wanted to have kids at some point in her life. It suited her. He felt guilty for the sensation of relief that gave him the idea that she couldn't get pregnant now. That would've been catastrophic. However, he still understood why the lack of choice hurt her.

"Hange told me that maybe I hadn't been completely healed... But after learning about the 'source of life' and the norms of the serum, I simply think that something resurrected cannot create another life."

Levi thought about many things he could say, but most of them implied hurting her. Still calibrating his next words, he put a gentle kiss on her face and brushed her hair with his fingers.

"Let's not going to worry about a problem we aren't even allowed to have yet. For now, let's go to sleep."

The next morning, Petra had a nice awakening. She didn't remember having any strange dreams, and the sun had only just risen. She looked to her side and saw that Levi was still asleep. He usually woke up long before she did, but this time she caught him completely relaxed. His hair fell delicately over his face, which kept looking somewhat tense despite his calm breathing.

She was hypnotized by his beauty when it suddenly hit her; that was the morning of her wedding day. Petra sighed, staring at the ceiling while appreciating the floaty light shapes that projected from the window. A light touch on her hip drew her attention back. Levi had awakened and was now caressing her under the sheets.

She crawled next to him and buried her face on his neck. Petra had no idea of what was going to happen that day. She didn't know how or where they would marry that fast; she didn't have a dress, nor a witness…

Eventually, they got up and had breakfast together. They still had some pastries from the day before that tasted wonderful with some tea.

Levi was surprisingly well-rested as well. It felt safer to sleep with someone. He had grown up spending every night alone, afraid that if he closed his eyes someone was going to steal his only meal for the next day. He hardly could accustom himself to beds as an adult. However, her presence soothed him. The mattress seemed more inviting by her side, and he could almost get a glimpse of what safety was like.

Petra made him feel like there was hope for him. Perhaps, he could heal after all.

After breakfast, she went to the bathroom and got ready. Levi told her that they surely wouldn't be back until the next day, so she had to manage with what little she had brought. After her bath, she applied some lotion and did her hair and make-up. Maybe she would get the chance to buy something more before their wedding… Perhaps some lingerie, or some ornament for her hair

As soon as the stores began to open, they went out into town. Levi was wearing his black suit, the same one he had worn to meet the merchants. They both carried a small suitcase, hoping that no one would recognize them.

"Where are we going now?" Petra asked, nervous to know how this day was going to go. He seemed to have it all planned, making her wonder for how long had been thinking about this.

Levi remained silent for a moment. "Do you want a dress?"

Petra blushed a bit, everything seemed so unreal. "Yes, sure! I think I could afford something." She had hardly touched her salary for several months, perhaps she would find something simple that would serve her.

"Perhaps now that we know who you are, your family could be promoted to nobility. That would help your father, wouldn't it?"

Petra looked at him strangely. She hadn't thought about it. "I think so, but I can't imagine my dad with a title. He belongs in the fields."

"Our queen is quite peculiar… I don't think she would have to adhere to any shitty decorum."

They continued walking until they arrived at the dressmaker. The place seemed both humble and exquisite at the same time, full of beautiful fabrics and tasteful designs. Petra wondered how did he know about this place.

"This was where Erwin got his suits made," he told her as if he could read her mind.

"Good morning Captain!" Someone spoke from the back room. An old peculiar lady appeared from behind a small door carrying more fabrics under her arm. "What can I help you with?"

"Hello Mabel, I need something urgent."

The old lady sighed in frustration. "It's always the same with you soldiers. Always running! I can't run so much at my age, you know? What is it?" As she talked, she gave Petra a warm and welcoming smile.

"We need a wedding dress."

Petra felt flustered at the scene they were making. This didn't seem appropriate at all. The elegantly dressed woman opened her eyes widely while looking at them both.

"Well, that was unexpected," she laughed. "I was almost completely convinced you had something for Commander Smith."

That comment made Petra raise her eyebrows to look at him.

"Don't say stupid shit. I'm here for the full thing." Levi replied, brushing it aside.

"Don't be so rude! I just didn't expect you to use my special services… Come here, dear," Mabel said, extending an arm to the bride.

Petra accompanied her to the back room where she took a couple of pre-made pieces to see what fit her better. She also showed her a couple of drawings and fabrics to see what she liked. Her client was surprised at how fast she could work. She really did seem prepared.

"You've done something like this before?" Petra asked, genuinely curious.

"There are many in your situation, my dear. Soldiers who get called to the frontline all of the time not knowing what's going to happen. A lot of them end up planning sudden marriages which my son and I carry out."

"Your son?"

"Yes, he works in a chapel of Wall Sina. That's where you're headed next. Didn't your man tell you?" She smiled at her.

"N- not really. This is all so sudden…"

"So is everything else in life, dear. My other son enlisted in the Survey Corps many years ago as well… He died shortly after, leaving behind a pregnant girl who couldn't receive any aids because they weren't married. We helped her, of course! But some other people aren't so lucky. My youngest takes care of these things now. He performs marriages with dead names at times, changing the dates, and slipping them to the registers for free."

"I'm- I'm so sorry…" Petra replied as the lady continued to put pins in her waist. She was surprised she had never heard about this secret business. Had Levi been helping soldiers through them all this time?

"Don't worry, honey. Everybody has a story. I'm sure you have your own for being here."

After taking all her measurements, Mabel sent them out for a couple of hours as she finished stitching together the readymade parts of her dress. They took the chance to have dinner together and talk. Just as Petra had suspected, various superiors had been using Mabel's services for taking care of their subordinate's families. It was a well-kept secret in the higher ranks. This allowed them to help the families of the fallen, and ease their minds a bit. She couldn't help thinking about Eld and her girlfriend… Had Levi done something about that as well?

Later on, they came back to the shop, and Petra accompanied Mabel to the back again. She was amazed by how fast she was able to finish the dress. It was plain, simple, but with an elegant cut that made it special. The young bride appreciated the folds on the skirt and sleeves.

Mabel was pleased to see the girl's face. She took care of her work no matter how hurried. "C'mon, put it on!"

Petra nodded happily and proceeded to change her normal clothes for it. Her reflection was astounding. She felt like a bride. The gown looked even prettier on. The simplicity of it made it perfect. She could imagine herself running or sitting next to the chapel in the field. Her father would have loved to see her…

"Are you happy, my dear?" The old woman asked, looking through the mirror.

"Yes! This is wonderful. It feels strangely like me. Is that a dumb thing to say?"

"Not at all! That's how it should be… One more thing."

Mabel headed for a smaller room and came back carrying a case. She took out a silver comb with which she finished fixing Petra's updo. Afterward, she grabbed a golden keepsake with red lipstick, a rarity within the walls because of how expensive the pigment was.

Petra felt the affection of a mother in her as she painted her lips, finishing them with a little translucent powder, thus preserving the beautiful color.

"Now you're ready to go," the old woman smiled.

Levi got up from his chair when he heard them coming out. Mabel was the first to appear, holding Petra's hand as she guided her down the stairs. He was astonished by her beauty.

The bride looked to the side a little flustered. Maybe this was too much… He probably thought these things were dumb anyway.

"Are you happy?" He asked, mesmerized by the feathery color on her lips, and her overall ethereal appearance.

"Yes…"

"Good," he replied, almost choking. He was madly in love with her, but couldn't bring his softer side when other people were around.

Mabel sent him a murderous look over Petra's shoulder. "That's all you have to say, sir?"

"What else do you want me to say?"

"That she's beautiful, perhaps?"

"And the sky is blue, and fishes swim," he replied frustrated, but the women caught his intent.

Mabel turned to Petra and said, "Honey, are you sure about this? There are sweeter men out there."

The bride laughed and looked at her, "don't worry. He can be sweet too, in his own ways."

Levi looked at her surprised. Could he? "Stop talking as if I'm not here and let's go."

Mabel got them a carriage that took them to the little hermitage where her son was a pastor. Neither of them were believers in the divinities of the walls, but it was lovely to think of getting married in a little stone chapel.

The meadow was green around the little building, and a couple of girls were running around playing. Levi got out of the car and reached for Petra's hand to help her. The captain took the opportunity to look at her better in the natural light of the field. Everything about her was pretty.

The playful little girls came running up to see her, "Are you the bride!?" Asked the youngest one, who couldn't be older than seven.

"Yes, I am! Were you waiting for me?"

The child's face lightened with a pure smile of excitement as she nodded. "We made you this," she said, taking a flower crown from the basket that her companion carried.

Petra grabbed it delicately, appreciating the colorful gift. "Thank you so much! I love it." She put it on her head and pinched the girls' faces.

The crowned bride bot up slowly and fixed her dress as the pastor approached them. Meanwhile, Levi was completely taken by the image of the woman next to him. She seemed so unattainable, yet she had dreamed of this, by his side. He was about to tell her something but the pastor interrupted.

"Welcome again, Captain Levi. My mother sent someone earlier to tell me you were coming."

"Hello, Roger."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Petra."

"Nice to meet you too. I'm Roger, the pastor of this community, and from what I see, the officiant of your wedding." He was tall and skinny, and all his movements were tainted by a special type of softness. It was hard to imagine that his brother was a soldier by looking at his physique. "I see that you've met Tania my daughter, and Loe, my brother's."

Petra's eyes saddened as she looked at the oldest girl who was probably around twelve. Her eyes were huge and green. "Her mother lives nearby, and she always comes to play with her cousin," the pastor ended, patting their heads.

With a kind gesture, Roger invited them inside. Petra turned her head to look at Levi and was surprised to find him looking at her. It was about to happen for real? Just like that? Her chest inflated with happiness. She thought that no matter how much she imagined things, they were never as she expected.

Levi offered his hand once more, and they started to walk towards the tiny church. She rested her head on his shoulder for a moment, and he felt the flowers tingle on his cheek. The groom was as shocked as she was. He had never thought of marriage. Furthermore, he had specifically refused to marry in this way; in full service, and ready to watch each other die. However, he saw it differently now. If everything had to end, he preferred it to be by her side. Levi wasn't going to regret letting her pass.

The next few minutes were suspended in an aura of disbelief. They looked at each other, barely able to believe their surroundings, while Roger continued delivering the ceremony. Now and then, Levi's fingers caressed her hand, assuring her that he was truly there.

They stood in complete silence, trying to figure out how they were supposed to feel, and before they could figure it out, it was over.

"You may kiss the bride," the pastor said, completely aware that they had missed half his speech by looking at the other.

They had never kissed in front of anyone before and hesitated for a moment. Petra tilted her head slightly as he leaned in, putting his hand on her back. The little girls in the background clapped as they kissed, making Petra smile against her now-husband.

When they finished, they went to sign the papers that would be sent to the registry. Extreme discretion was asked, especially when dealing with two well-known names, to which Roger replied that they rarely checked them. There was only one name left to write: the witness.

"Who should I put?"

"Anything ... it's just a formality. It's not even required," Roger said.

Levi left his pen and headed outside, stopping when he realized Petra wasn't following.

The bride looked at the blank space, pen in hand. Whenever she fantasized about this day, she knew whose name was there. However, reality had surprised her with that as well, and he couldn't be there anymore.

"You can use dead names too, isn't it?" She asked, tingling Levi's attention.

"Indeed," the pastor replied.

Petra thank him, and slowly proceeded to emulate the messy handwritten of her dear friend.

"Oluo Bossard"

They both said goodbye to Roger and the girls to go to their hostel. As they left, Petra delicately wiped some of the red pigment from Levi's lips, to no avail as it only caused him to hug and kiss her even harder. In his touch, she could already anticipate what he was longing for, and a soft sigh of pleasure left her as they parted.

Levi looked at her in the eye without letting go, the smudged stain of lipstick looking even bigger in the corner of his mouth.

"I love you," he told her, making her head spin with the desire to merge with him.

Her hands gripped on the collar of his jacket, as she looked at his face closer.

"Then please, love me. I need you," she whispered, kissing him again.

The desperation began to consume them way before it should, mixing with the happiness of their union in a childish reverie of joy. They saluted one more time in the distance, trying to maintain their composure, and got up the carriage.

Petra sat happily looking outside the window. Everything seemed perfect in that instant, making her wish that feeling would last a little longer. Levi's arms caught her again kissing the curve of her neck and shoulders.

She buried her face against his, kissing him. "See how you can be sweet, my love?" Petra caught his expression the moment she called him that. She never thought of trying such sweet expressions with him, but he had told her this wasn't about him feeling comfortable all the time. Right?

Levi responded by gently settling her in front of him. The bride leaned her back against him, ready to enjoy any other gesture from him. However, a gasp escaped from her lips when she felt him grabbing her breasts by surprise. His hands hungrily knead her delicate skin over the dress as he kissed her neck.

"Levi-," she pleaded in surprise, feeling the way he squished her breasts, stroking over her nipples with his thumbs. All the pleasure he was tempting her with raced down between her legs, increasing her need.

"Is this alright?" He whispered to her ear.

Petra knew it wasn't. They were still in the carriage, but she wanted it badly. Maybe just a little release wouldn't hurt them…

"Yes…" she whispered, feeling how he started pinching her again.

Petra closed her eyes ecstatic. She didn't know if it was the amount of emotions she had been through, but she was too excitable. Levi's breath on her neck was driving her insane, watching his knuckles over the white fabric, everything made her want more. "Oh fuck me, Levi, fuck me now," her voice was sweet, lewd, filled with desire.

"Calm down," he sighed to her cheek, feeling how his mouth salivated at the thought of her, "keep it down, or I'll have to explain how you begged for this."

Petra shivered at his tone. His nasty mouth came in quite handy in moments like this.

Levi separated from her for a moment, closing the curtains and leaving the cabin in the shadows. He then returned to kiss her mouth, twirling his tongue on hers as he pulled down the sleeves of her dress to expose her breasts.

Petra locked him in an embrace as they continued to kiss, sliding down the seat. Levi didn't intend to take it slow. He sucked on her nipples until she failed to shut her moans. His hands searched between the folds of her dress pulling it up and sliding one inside her panties.

Her eyes went blank at the feeling of his fingers caressing her clit. She was reaching the edge, and he loved to see her like this. He slid his fingers inside of her, listening as she lost control of her breath completely. Levi had planned to tease her a bit, but this was getting out of hand. He was so hard it fucking hurt and the rhythm of his hand was going to make her come for real.

They were getting too used to this risky type of sex. Perhaps their work had hooked them to the adrenaline.

Petra arched her back, dripping over his hand. She was a complete mess, shaking while looking into his eyes, begging him for more. She brought her hand to one of her breasts, biting her lower lip as her climax approached.

The image of her touching herself like that made him lose his mind. Did she want to be fucked? Then she was surely going to get it.

Levi took off his jacket fastly and unbuttoned his pants.

"What are you doing?" Petra asked, not believing what they were about to do.

"I can't take it, fuck-," he said before kissing her again.

They both moaned when he went inside. Every thrust felt like hell, way too close to heaven yet still not there. Levi pressed his hips on hers, grabbing into the seat. "Did you want this? Fuck, Petra- I want to break you."

Tears run down her face from pleasure. She was into this, into him, into his moans and words. "Yes, please- I like this so much-"

Levi's thrusts became stronger, faster, stealing soft moans from their lips, dying to kill each other in that hostel's bed. Petra buried her nails on his back, biting his neck as she came for him.

An hour later, they made it into the hostel. Petra's lipstick had completely disappeared, and the little flowers that had formed her crown fell down her messy hair. The coachman, waved them goodby, completely oblivious to what had happened behind him moments ago.

Needless to say, they headed fastly into their room to indulge in their vices again.

Chapter 14: Prelude I

Summary:

"All you have to do is go try your luck in Marley, but I'll warn you again, don't you dare come in our way."

Notes:

We have made it to the Prelude chapters already! There will be a second part to it before the Marely arc begins. I don't know how many more chapters there will be, but the ending has been decided. After the Marley Arc, the final one will begin. I'm super excited to get there, but I needed to introduce these bridges for plot reasons.

Enjoy 3

Chapter Text

There was a bittersweet feeling about leaving that house. It was barely dawn, and the light had just hit the empty shelves. The day before, they had already taken care of collecting and cleaning everything. They only had to eat their last breakfast, make their bed, and go out.

Petra stood at the foot of her bed, staring at her white dress, now folded inside a box. The smell of soap filled the entire house, worsening the sensation that climbed up her chest, filling her eyes with tears. Perhaps this would be the last time they would have a chance to live so peacefully. She had always wanted to save her dress to show it to her daughter, yet she would have to make that box disappear. They couldn't come back to the camp and risk someone to find it.

She would never be the "happy wife" living in the inside walls ever again, but that was okay.

From the laundry room, Levi's groans could be heard as he tried to remove the carmine from the collar of his shirt. He had been fighting for almost an hour with the stains that two days ago had made him so funny.

Ironically, that was what they had done together.

There was no going back now. No matter how tight his uniform is around his shoulders or how much he tries to focus on his work, the lipstick stain will remain. Whether Petra survives or not, the damage had already been done. There was no way he was going to forget her. By doing this, he had agreed to suffer every day for her safety.

Levi dropped the shirt in the water, wiping the thought off his head with his hand. He had the long raincoat of his uniform already on, with the sleeves rolled up on his elbows as he tried to clean that stain one last time, uselessly. He sighed in defeat and walked towards the room.

Petra was also back in her uniform, standing over the white box with her gown.

"What are you going to do with it? My shirt will have to go with it as well."

"I want to send it to my father…."

A silence followed. She knew there wasn't a place for these types of breakdowns between them today.

"You know he will look inside and guess."

"I don't want to hide it anymore."

"Petra, you can't keep changing your mind on the matter every fucking day."

Her breath broke as she choked in tears, making him feel bad for it, but there wasn't much they could do.

"Leave it there. I will do it myself," he told her softly and walked away to keep packing their lasts things.

He hated to be so cold, but he was barely keeping it together himself. She would have to find it within herself to be strong.

The last two days went like a dream, detaching them a little bit too much from reality. They had spent every minute together, in each other arms, talking, kissing, or cleaning… He had even been able to nap next to her. There was something about her that just put everything inside of him in order. Now, he had to come back to the safety of being an ass.

Wanting to relive a glimpse of what their short honeymoon had been, he walked back to the room, ready to apologize and wipe her tears. She went out seconds before he made it to the door.

"I'm done now," she told him with reddish eyes.

Levi stood in front of her. His usually tired gaze looked much more rested now. He swallowed before speaking, "me too."

"It's time already?" She asked.

"Yes."

They took their things downstairs and waited behind the closed door. Petra remembered when they had stood together under those stairs back in the barracks when Hange had interrupted them. This felt somewhat similar. Levi was there, but she could feel he had hidden back into his walls. This is all she was going to get from him during the following weeks. They looked so formal. It almost felt impossible to imagine how they had been the night before, savoring their last bit of freedom.

Petra stared at him quietly. She had helped him cut his hair yesterday after finding in horror how he did it by himself. He seemed even more polished and handsome.

"You look good," she spoke.

He turned his face to look at her. "You too, except for the fact that it's evident you cried your ass out."

She chuckled a bit, "let me feel shit, damn…."

"My bad," he smiled, "sometimes I forget I'm not your Captain anymore."

Petra walked towards him, and they melted in a fond hug.

"If you stain my collar again, I'll make you sweep the beach," he caressed her head.

She laughed sadly on his neck, "I'm not wearing anything, I swear…."

Petra lifted her head slowly to kiss the tip of his nose. "I will miss you so much."

"I will be right there, watching over you."

They kissed, leaning against the wall, melting into each other tenderly. Petra felt her strength weaken as his breath became deeper against her lips. Levi had gotten so easy with her. It killed her to know what he felt under his skin, precisely the same thing that she had experienced for so long thinking about him: that longing in the lower part of her stomach and the warm feeling that slid from her arms to her chest. Her hands pressed in the pulse on his neck, wanting to grasp every breath that came from him, wishing to keep him for a little longer.

A knock on the door broke them apart, and they looked into each other's eyes one last time.

They said goodbye formally to the corporate heads with whom they had signed contracts and went to Wall Rose to meet with the supply squads with whom they would return. After a couple of days, they reached their camp by the coast again.

Petra's squad was quick to greet them. Their leader got off her horse and walked towards them, smiling at the happy group of soldiers that approached. The cute image brought Petra a sweet realization; it was weird to see soldiers being so delighted at the return of their superior. They were a lot like her on that.

"Welcome back, Lieutenant!" Irina shouted, running towards Levi, who had just jumped down his horse.

"Hi, Irina-" Petra looked back in confusion at the way she recklessly approached the grumpy Captain. She was going to get hurt if she didn't learn to keep her distance around him.

"Hello, Captain Levi! How's your shoulder doing? I imagine you've been cleaning it thoroughly. I hope you didn't overdo it." The girl went on as she shamelessly tried to look under his jacket. After all, the burn on his shoulder still required some care.

"If you don't get your hands off me-" He spoke, ready to sweep her feet.

"Irina, get back here!" Edith grabbed her, apologizing before Levi made her bite the dust.

Petra let out a sigh of relief as the tall foxy woman walked back to her.

"Welcome back, Petra. Nothing has changed, as you can see…."

Petra laughed, sending a discrete look to Levi as he fixed the collar of his uniform. "Did they bother you much?"

"Not at all. I'm used to keeping them in their lane," Edith talked proudly.

In Petra's absence, she had been chosen as temporary leader for their squad. She was the most fitted for the task due to her battle skills and strong personality, blunter than Petra was usually, which came in handy with such a handful.…

Suddenly, a sad thought shook Petra's mind. She wanted to see her friend again so badly, but it was impossible to forget what she had seen in her vision. Edith's lifeless body danced suspended from her gear in her mind, making her face go pale.

"Is everything okay, Pet-"

"Yes," she replied, in a more alarmed tone than she had intended. "I'm thankful for your work. I know you're completely capable of it," she spoke, watching the confusion in Edith's eyes. "However, I will like for Hugo to take your place next time. Not permanently, but I think it would be good for both of you to go swapping positions just in case-"

"One of you dies," she wanted to finish but couldn't. Her heart was pounding inside her head. Petra couldn't tell her what she had seen in that place. For fucks sake. She was perfectly aware of how much it messed with one's head to know their death. If Edith could be saved or not, that was another question for later. Right now, she made a decision to protect the rest of her squad. If Edith dies, then they need to be accustomed to following Hugo's orders as well. She felt incredibly fucked up for it.

"Sure! It's fine…" The subordinate spoke, unable to hide her frustration. She was pretty prideful and competitive, so this wasn't her favorite news. However, Edith was far more concerned with Petra's weird demeanor.

The blonde woman shook her head around, looking for an explanation, and sent Levi a dreadful glance before leaving.

Levi was too confused to bite back. "What the fuck was that?" He whispered to Petra as he approached her again.

The ginger woman gave a little start, lost in her thoughts. "Oh, she probably thinks I half-took her rank off because of your suggestion or something," she realized.

The dark blue of his eyes settled over her, filling with compassion. "You made the right choice. If it helps." It was weird for him to know as well that the woman walking away was going to die. He remembered how it felt to lose his entire squad back then. Perhaps Petra was about to live the same. No, she was going to relive it again. She already knew how it was, but now she would be responsible for it.

He wanted to open his mouth again, but she smiled back at him and started walking before he had the chance.

"Let's go see Hange," Petra said without turning to look back.

The couple entered the commander's tent, who barely noticed their presence entertained by a mountain of papers and instruments.

"Hey, shitty glasses," Levi called them, making them raise their head. Petra sent him a soft scolding look for his rudeness, raising her fist to her heart to salute more appropriately.

Hange's eyes went from one to another as if all the work impended them to recognize their faces for a moment.

"Oh, welcome back, guys!" They greeted happily, although their tone reflected undeniable tiredness. "Please come here. I'm dying for some help!" Hange's hands reached a pile of documents with the aid of an unknown soldier. Petra caught a glimpse of the tall woman. She had seen her back during her titan tests but was surprised to see her aiding the commander with such closeness.

"What about the news we bring you? Have you already forgotten why we left in the first place? You're losing faculties by the day," Levi said.

Hange tilted their head back. It was evident stress was working them out. They had to focus on way too many things. "I might, Levi… I might…" They sighed. "Well, so, how did it go? Are we going to get those funds?"

"Yes. It went better than expected, but we have other stuff to discuss now, alone."

The light expression in the commander's eye grew heavier, signaling the rest of the soldiers to leave, except for the one next to them, who remained still.

"Are you deaf, shithead?" Levi spoke harshly towards the woman, whose gaze remained unfazed by his words.

"It's okay. She can stay, Levi. Let me introduce you to Sonia, my new right hand." They tried to keep their tone up, but a shadow crossed their face when they spoke those last words, remembering Moblit. "I want her to know everything that I do."

"You're already trusting these rookies with everything?" Levi trussed without taking his cold eyes off her.

"There aren't much of us left anyway. We need friends right now, Levi," Petra interrupted, breaking the heavy atmosphere.

Her words were so perfectly calibrated that they made a clean slate in his head. The Captain understood perfectly well that she was asking him not to discuss with his Hange. They were having enough going on at the moment, plus it was true that they needed to rely on each other more than ever. Levi swallowed and unfolded his arms, letting them know he was done with his quarrel.

Hange simply smiled and reclined back at their chair. "Yo, that's power, Petra," they laughed.

"Fuck off," he muttered back.

"Oh! Please, don't be a dick. Petra, tell him not to be a dick."

The ginger woman snorted and checked Levi's extremely offended face, which made it worse.

"Hange… We have serious stuff to talk about. There's a major problem," Petra said, trying not to embarrass her husband any further.

"Of course. Spit it out."

"She's a royal," he said bluntly.

Hange's eyes remained open, blinking only once before going back to a blank stare. "Excuse me?"

"It seems that my consciousness was able to travel to another dimension where I saw Eren, but he looked like an adult ... There was also a girl and a column of light. Well, we ended up deducing that there was-"

"W- Wo-, wo-, wo-, What- the fuck?" They spoke, squinting their eyes as if they were trying to protect themselves from a blinding light. "I don't spend my day trying to make sense of things for this. How come every time I leave you alone, some weird secret is revealed? At least you keep this moving…. Good job, I guess!"

They kept going about the details of her vision and the story between Petra's father and Rod Reiss' sister. Hange listened to everything with a mix of fascination and frustration in equal parts. They loved to learn, but all their plans might be ruined.

"So, basically, if I make you eat Eren, we run the risk of you erasing all of our memories due to the curse in your blood?" Hange concluded.

"Yes…."

"Okay," the commander sighed, taking a bottle of whiskey off their drawer. "Anything else?"

"Hange…. I'm sorry," Petra said.

"It's okay. I'll think about something else, as always."

"Then you better put that bottle back. You know what, give it to me," Levi told them, walking towards them and pouring a single glass before taking the bottle away.

Hange laughed sweetly. "You don't need to babysit me-" The thought of Moblit came again. Yes. They needed that. For someone to put limits on them at times. "Thank you." They corrected themselves, taking a short gulp from the glass.

"There's something else. We got married."

Petra turned her head violently towards Levi. She couldn't believe he had told them just like that.

Hange's went into a mental collapse again, but a happier one this time. "You did what!? I can't believe you got married." They said, looking at Levi. "This might be the end of the world for real after all."

"Thank you," Levi said sarcastically, pouring himself a glass as well.

Hange laughed, "I mean, congratulations! I wish I could have been there to see you cry."

"What makes you think I fucking cried?" He asked, sitting on their desk.

"I know you cried. Don't need to feel embarrassed!"

Petra looked at them happily. It was pretty obvious they shared a beautiful bond, in a way. Back in the day, she had been jealous of Hange at times. However, since she came closer to them, it became clear that they were really good friends. Seeing them having fun, Petra decided to retire herself and check on the rest of her squad.

Torchlight illuminated the camp. Nathaniel and Hugo flanked the door that gave access to the tent where Yelena was kept. Petra was surprised to see how well accommodated she was despite her condition as a prisoner. That woman was cunning. She knew how to squeeze them to get what she wanted for little. As she approached, she nodded to her soldiers, appreciating how their faces brightened to see her.

"Welcome back, Petra," Hugo saluted colloquially while keeping his fist to his heart.

"Good night, squad leader! Your face looks fresh. Have you been resting better?" Nathaniel said, trying to give her the most chivalrous version of his flirting.

A few feet away, Evelyn glanced at the blond boy, swallowing her annoyance along with her saliva. Her blood boiled whenever she saw him do that.

"Rest, you both," Petra replied, "I'm glad to be back, and yes, I've been resting better now that I don't have to deal with your antics, young man."

The girl let out a prideful chuckle, "how lucky of you, Lieutenant. I wonder how well would the rest of us sleep without him around for a while."

"My bad, Evelyn. Didn't know I took your sleep away," Nathaniel replied, giving her a soft look.

His audacity didn't fly over her head, turning to meet him in annoyance. "There's no problem with my sleep, just with my nerves, I fear."

"I'll keep that in mind," he smiled, bringing a frustrated blush to her cheeks.

The squad leader looked at Hugo, and they both raised an eyebrow at the weird exchange they had just witnessed. Lastly, Petra gave a gentle nod towards Sabah, who stood at Hugo's side silently, guarding with iron-like discipline.

Immediately afterward, she pushed the cloth away from the doorway and stepped inside.

"Goodnight, Yelena. I've brought your dinner for tonight," Petra spoke seriously, with a mixture of cordiality and superiority towards her not-so-clear-yet ally.

"Petra Ral, isn't it? So you've come back."

The Lieutenant glanced at the space around. She wasn't handcuffed anymore, merely guarded by her squad on the door.

"I see you've been behaving in our absence. You aren't living so badly anymore."

"I don't care about that at all. I just came here to get my job done."

The overwhelming self-confidence she exuded made Petra uncomfortable. There was something about her that seemed off. No one could be that cold-blooded in her situation. She knew Yelena had to be fucked up.

"So do we all," the ginger answered, ready to leave the tent again.

"Wait for a second, Ral. I wanted to talk with you."

All the hairs on the back of Petra's neck stood on end. She sensed there was something wrong. Yelena's eyes seemed darker in the shadows, more profound and full of malicious bullshit. She walked back towards her, keeping a certain distance for safety.

"I know you have the Jaw titan."

Petra's heart skipped a bit as she laughed condescendingly, "you don't know shit," she replied, walking out again.

"Oh, but I do. Of course, nobody has told me, but it's enough to look at the rookies outside to tell. I observed you before you left. Those kids outside don't behave like they follow your orders. They're also protecting you, aren't they? You can't fool with a veteran used to fighting against other humans. I know what I see."

Petra's eyes filled with silent rage. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Oh, I haven't finished. I can also tell that your squad is less experienced than the rest, let alone with Hange's despite being older than Levi's. They hadn't been in this branch for long, huh? New squad, new leader, but where did they get an experienced one? Maybe a resurrected soldier?"

"Skip the crap already, Yelena. I'm not interested in whatever stories you create in the boredom of your reclusion. What is that you want to say for real?"

The blonde woman leaned forward on her chair, "I want to know who the fuck are you."

Petra stood in confusion, eager for an excuse to throw hands at her. She breathed in deeply, thinking that perhaps her closeness to Levi was starting to have an influence on her character.

"You see, ginger girl-"

"Lieutenant for you," she cut her, kicking her chair over and balancing her for a moment, just grabbing her by her shirt.

"As you wish, Lieutenant. It's suspicious that you don't want me to meet with Eren yet. Marley indeed needs his powers much more than yours, but any of you will come in handy at the end of the day. However… They show you but hide him. Plus, what are your squad protecting you from all day long in their gear? In the beginning, I thought you feared Zeke might come, but now I'm fully convinced you don't trust Eren."

Petra's expression twisted in horror at her words. No matter how much Yelena claimed to be on their side, there was something off about her. What was the point of all of this? Had she puzzled everything together in the silence, or was it a snitch?

"You don't want me to meet with Eren because you fear he might be on our side, which intrigues me a lot, to be honest. I can't take off my head why they would want to protect a defective zombie of a shifter over the real hope of humanity. Who are you important for, huh?"

"Enough," Petra muttered, on the verge of her nerves.

"Don't get so pressed at me, Lieutenant! I'm just giving away facts you refused to give me freely, but I'm on your side for now. Do you need help?"

"Why would I need your help?"

"Well, I know everything related to the little experiment that brought you back. Zeke would lose his mind if he found out how much I suspect you're coming in the way of things. We can't let that happen, so let's see if he can come to an agreement, okay?"

"I won't give you anything."

"I don't need anything. I just want you to know that there's someone who took on Ethan's investigations. We indeed found the formula of the serum pretty much perfected, but the studies have been retaken. There's a scientist called Roger Furger. He leads the experiments now, and guess what? He's on our side too. If you come with us to Marley, a chance to meet him could be arranged. Maybe he knows a way of saving yourself without spoiling everything."

"What is your real plan, Yelena?" She muttered, her nerves collapsing under her blank expression.

"You know it already, to end with Marley's hegemony. However, we'll need Eren for this. Only he can do it. Is that clear?"

Petra's eyes fixated on her wild expression. This might be another chance to surviving without eating Eren, but what if it was a trap?

"All you have to do is go try your luck in Marley, but I'll warn you again, don't you dare come in our way."

Chapter 15: Prelude II

Summary:

"During those last months, the tests had started to manifest her deterioration. Her healing abilities began to get slower, and the wearing time of her titan had been shortened by ten minutes."

Notes:

Surprise!✨ Extra update this week. I wanted to be done with these "bridge" chapters to finally write the juicy stuff. Marley arc let's go!

Chapter Text

Petra entered the warehouse making sure no one saw her. It had started raining outside, so she doubted anyone would come to bother them. Just as expected, Levi was already there, sitting over the wooden boxes with his hair soaking wet. He barely moved at her sight, making it hard for her to know how he felt about that day. It had been one year since their wedding, and they had agreed to meet in secrecy.

"I would've taken you to the lake," she said, "but the climate didn't help us."

"It's okay."

She walked next to him, and they sat together in silence. Many things have occurred since they had consummated their relationship on that carriage. The rehabilitation of the Shingashina district advanced fastly, and the barriers between themselves and their so-called "prisoners" had practically disappeared. Now, they stood as true allies.

Petra and Levi continued to greet and train the new cadets of the Survey Corps, preparing them for what was about to come. They still lived by the word they had given each other on that lake, of spending every night possible together, making the most of their time. However, the initial thrill of it gave way to frustration. They were a married couple but still had to hide in the shadows each time they wanted to love each other. Typically, this occasion would be much happier if it wasn't because they knew that a year more also meant a year less.

"Three years and nine months," she sighed, "are you thinking about that too?"

"It doesn't matter what I think."

Petra pressed her lips in a disappointed smile. "It matters to me," she replied, wringing the rain out from her now long hair and holding it in a ponytail.

Levi put his hands inside his pockets, trying to warm his fingers a bit as he tried to brush away the feelings awakening inside of him.

"I think-"

She knew from his expression he was about to open himself again and embraced his arm with hers in a supportive gesture.

"We are supposed to be happy today," he continued, "and that idea alone is enough to make me miserable."

Petra let out a subtle snort. "Ugh, same."

His face moved to meet her eyes. He was genuinely expecting his words to ruin this, but as always, she got his back. Her face was transparent to him, and he knew she was telling him the truth.

"I mean, I am happy with you," she told him, adoring his tender smile, "but I'm pretty pissed it has to be like this. I prefer it when we just fuck in whatever non-special day."

He leaned to kiss her forehead, and she raised her face quickly to catch his lips.

"You know what I want to think about?" She asked, making him raise his eyebrows in wonder. "I want to picture us having tea in the barracks tonight. Then we can go to your room and take it slow."

Levi's eyes traced her face in the dim light, letting himself melt in the imagination of her proposal. He closed his eyes to kiss her again, already feeling the sweet taste of the tea leaves on her lips.

Months continued to pass, and things took a new turn with the arrival of Kiyomi Azumabito to the island. Luckily, they found in the event another chance to spend a couple of days inside the walls again.

They stayed together once more, indulging in the peace of their tiny apartment.

Petra closed her eyes and tilted her head back. "I'm going to exploit this skill of yours," she told him, giving in to the feeling of his strong hands massaging her back.

"Don't be a greedy bitch."

Petra frowned. "What did you call me?" She asked as she turned to look at him.

"I didn't call you anything. I just told you not to be-"

"Don't you dare chicken out, you little fucker."

He blinked once, "can't you fucking insult, Ral? Is this what you call the brats in your squad when they suck at their training?"

"Excuse me? You think you're better now because your squad has been dealing with titans for longer, huh. My squad is much more mature-," she stopped, knowing damn well that was a lie.

"What? tell me how mature they are, Petra."

"I'm going to kick your ass, I swear-"

A moment of silence crossed them before she threw a pillow to him. Levi caught it in the air before fighting her against the mattress. He smiled, entertained at how she tried to immobilize him for real, unsuccessfully. When she finally gave up, he hugged her waist tenderly.

Petra gasped tiredly, laughing in his ear. "I'm not done with you yet," she said, biting his cheek.

"You're sick!" He told her, moving his face away from her.

"Am I sick, Levi?" she spoke seductively in her amusement, pinning his wrists against the mattress and grinding herself slightly against him.

"Yes. You're derailed and a bitch," he teased with his usual blank expression.

She rolled her eyes, jumping off him. "Fuck off, no sexy times for you tonight."

"Fine," he turned around.

After a couple of minutes, Petra felt his hands playing softly with the locks of her hair.

Almost a year later, the works for the railway line began. It was sweet to see how Levi and Petra's squad became closer during that time. It was common to see them chatting during their time off, although Eren kept a lot to himself. He and Petra maintained a distance as well, which made her somewhat sad. As much as she wanted to doubt him, she couldn't stop seeing him as that 'scared titan kid'.

The overall peaceful ambiance they worked in melted the initial tension between the squads. Petra rejoiced at the sight of them getting along so well. Even Levi began to get attached to her "brats."

The sun burned the land in the middle of summer, and Petra fanned her neck with her hand as she stared indiscreetly at the Captain. They had relaxed to the point where they stopped wearing their uniforms constantly. Of course, she enjoyed seeing him with his shirt rolled up and the open buttons revealing the smooth skin she knew so well.

"What are you looking at?" He caught her.

"Nothing… They really are outgrowing you," she smiled, looking at the tallboys around him.

Levi crossed his arms in a grin of annoyance that made her laugh. He looked adorable, and she couldn't help putting a sweet kiss on his cheek. Everybody was too busy to catch the gesture, but at this point, no one would've been surprised either. Not that they were too affectionate in public, but they had settled down enough to not give a fuck whatsoever. The only thing stopping them was a genuine concentration in their work.

"Ugh, Lucky you!" Nathaniel surprised him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Levi's flight or fight response ignited like gunpowder. He hated being touched by surprise, yet he contained himself for what he could only describe as a familiar sensation...

"Hasn't Petra taught you how to stay in your fucking lane yet, kid?"

The blonde soldier laughed unfazed by his threatening tone, "C'mon, Captain! I was just trying to get you to be sociable."

Levi's eyebrows twitched at the sheer audacity, but he could tell the boy was genuine. He couldn't wrap his mind around that soft spot, staring at his face in a mix of anger and wonder. A glimpse of his face from that position was enough to make it click. Nathaniel reminded him of Farlan.

Without losing his smile, the boy turned to cheer his friends working on the railways. Mikasa and Sabah were having a tight competition over who could carry more steel girders, each squad cheering for their own. The scene was so alien to the kind of work they were used to. It seemed optimistic, as if they were heading somewhere. Immersed in this mental state, Levi caught Petra's eye again across the field. He didn't need an explanation to know she was thinking the same.

Summers nights were the sweetest during those three years. It all happened so fast they almost forgot that she only had another one to live.

The initial fear and abnegation gave way to acceptance and even peace with the fact that she might not make it. However, they still had two other chances: Eren's letter, which she still awaited, and Yelena's proposal. Each day she hoped to receive news from one of them, but nothing ever happened. Petra even began to think about the possibility that people had forgotten that she was dying by the day. Rapidly, she would brush the thought aside each time. Her companions couldn't do anything for her… She was just scared and wanted to be seen.

During those last months, the tests had started to manifest her deterioration. Her healing abilities began to get slower, and the wearing time of her titan had been shortened by ten minutes.

It always went the same way. Irina looked at her clock with sadness in her eyes, and Hange wrote down the numbers in silence. Petra knew by their looks that it was starting. Irina had once compared her to a firework. Her health and abilities improved during the first year, reaching their peak in the second, and now she was slowly going down.

Life was finally leaving her.

After the tests were done, she always found Levi standing outside her tent. Petra always brushed his worries aside, telling him, "I'm getting better!". Then, a year ago, "I'm stable now, so I guess I'm finally recovered." It hadn't been until two months ago that the clock started running backward. "Don't worry, it's just a thousandth of a second slower," but they both knew what it meant.

Petra saw something explode behind his eyes, an emotion she had never seen on him before, fear. Soon it reached her too.

"It's just a thousandth of a sec-" she tried to repeat, stopping to hold her tears.

"It's because you didn't sleep last night," he told her, looking down.

She knew perfectly well from Eren's experiments it didn't work that way. He was just trying to bury the truth and calm them down.

"You're right," she whispered in understanding.

His eyes had turned red from trying to hold back the tears, lost in something inside his head, "It's okay."

"Petra!" Hugo snapped her back from her memories.

"Oh, sorry, guys. What is it?" They were all sitting together around the bonfire, Levi's squad included.

"We were asking you how did your tests go?" Edith repeated with an inhospitable sweetness to her.

"Great! It was great. I mean, as always," Irina interrupted.

"Are you sure? We were all under the impression that her transformation was shorter," Evelyn asked.

"Sssh! Who's the doctor here!?" Irina shut her, not wanting to spoil the night any further.

"That's right. It's weird to find soldiers with your skills in the military, Irina. You have two careers at this point," Armin said.

"Ah, well, my father was a respected doctor in Yalkell. I learned all from him since I was little. He tried to enlist in the military when he was thirteen but ended up giving up in his first year of training. He was heading for the Survey Corps but wasn't physically doted enough. However, his admiration never disappeared. He would wait for the troops to come back, lending his services for free. When I was old enough, he started to bring me along. The way he talked about those heroes stuck with me, I guess… Not gonna lie, those injuries were enough to put me off, so I preferred to join the Military Police instead," Irina laughed.

"You all came from there?" Jean asked.

"Edith and I came from the Garrisons, but we were offered a place in the Military Police and took it," Hugo replied, "of course, we got fed up of feeling useless."

"How about you, Nathaniel?" Levi asked, surprising them all.

"Oh! You all must know by now that I come from the Brzenski family. Captain Rico is my older sister, so I guess she has always been my biggest influence. We're quite affluent and have been supporting the corps financially for decades. Of course, those old hags were too lazy to get their hands dirty themselves, but then Rico changed that. She had the guts to enlist in the Garrisons, fighting in the battle of Trost. She's like some sort of saint in our family. I love her a lot, don't get me wrong, but I was… not like that. I just wanted to be the rich kid. I enlisted just so my family would shut up," for the first time, they all saw a grim of sadness on his face.

"Then what are you doing here?" Evelyn asked. She had been listening to each of his words carefully.

His eyes met her in surprise. Nathaniel didn't expect her to show the amount of concern he read in her voice. "I went to the Military Police as well, then ended up seeing what we all did. The corruption and conformism we've all settled for behind those fucking walls." Nathaniel raised his eyes to look address the 104th. "After you guys recovered Wall Maria, I realized you were the ones doing something for real. I must surpass my sister as well now!"

Everyone looked at him. It seemed that there was a brain behind all that petty flirt after all.

Meanwhile, Sabah crossed their arms over their chest. They couldn't stand the lone mention of Rico Brenzka, but of course, Nathaniel didn't know that. That's a story they hadn't told him yet…

"You guys should talk a little better about yourselves," Petra spoke, "you aren't any less for joining later than the rest. I see how hard you work for this. We're glad to have you here!"

"That's right!" Sasha said happily.

Petra's squad jumped over their leader in a big hug, making Levi cringe at the sight. All of them except Evelyn, who had left the bonfire with a hand against her chest. Hugo and Edith were raising their bottles for her when Nathaniel realized that she was missing. Seein her silhouette from afar, he ran after her.

"Hey, Evelyn!"

"Not now, you dipshit," she replied, looking around the floor nervously.

"Why so rude suddenly? You seemed to care about me ten minutes ago."

The brunette turned to look at him with an annoyed expression, "and now you're following me around like a creep."

"Okay, I'll leave. I got just worried because you left so sudden…."

Her expression softened. She always was too fast to bite but excused herself, thinking that it was his fault for always being so unnerving. "I don't have time for this now, Nath," she sighed and continued walking around with her sight fixated on the ground.

"What are you looking for?" He insisted, seeing how her shoulders tensed once more.

"My necklace, I think it fell at some point while we were coming here."

"Oh! The one with the little bird? Don't worry about that. I can buy you something prettier when we come-"

Her murderous look shut him down. "It's not replaceable! I need to find it…" She continued searching.

It was true. Evelyn always wore that pendant, even in her sleep. He scolded himself for being such a dumbass. Nathaniel thought that she probably liked it a lot and had never considered how valuable it could be for her. It was one of those details he just let slip, distracted by the curves underneath.

"I'm sorry. I get it now. Let me help you! We'll finish sooner."

"Thank you…" she said, brushing a lock of hair from her face.

They made their way back to the camp, searching the ground carefully. They walked away to the point where the beach was seen again. Despite her worries, Evelyn did not miss the opportunity to glance at him from time to time, appreciating the concentration he helped her. She was distracted by the way his hair fell over his forehead when he suddenly crouched further.

"There you go!" Nathaniel got up, smiling proudly with the pendant swinging in his hand.

His eyes caught her distracted on him, making her blush a bit. "You've found it" The girl rushed rapidly towards him.

He was surprised by her enthusiasm, and before he could realize it, she had taken the pendant from his hand.

"Thank you! It looks okay. I think I just tied it badly."

Nathaniel looked at her smile in awe. There was something about her-

"Evelyn…"

She had never heard him use that tone on her. "What is it?" He sounded strangely mellow.

"Why is it so important?"

The green light on her eyes flickered at his honest expression. There was something new about him.

She blushed again, holding the red stone with the craved bird with her fingers. "This is the last piece of jewelry my grandma made before her sight worsened to the point where she couldn't make art anymore. Shortly after that, she died. For her to create was the most important thing in her life, so it is for my mother. We have a small workshop in Stohess where we make pieces like this."

Nathaniel cringed horribly at the thought that he had called it ugly. For the first time in his life, he wished he knew when to shut up.

"The green honorifics that the commander wear? We make them. It's quite nice, but we started having some financial problems some years ago… We ended up in heavy debt, so I decided to enlist to help my mom."

"Wait, you went through a whole ass military training for that?"

"I know it sounds crazy, but if you make it to the Military Police, the salary is quite high, plus your debts are forgiven by law. It's what saved us after the fall of Wall Maria. It's not that I hadn't any vocation for this, but I'll prefer being in my workshop anytime. I just want a safe home to go back to."

Nathaniel swallowed, unable to take his eyes away from her. "And the Survey Corps?"

"As you said, they're the ones doing something for real."

Two days later, the matter was finally settled; they were going to Marley. Onyankopon would greet them there with Azumabito's help. The course of that trip would determine the path they would follow. The People of Ymir Preservation Society would give an International Speech that would provide them with a clue of where they truly stood in their yet unknown, vast world. They had been preparing themselves for long now, and they had to make a move before the war with the Mid-East ended.

After the reunion, Sonia handed Petra two envelopes, one from the queen and another blank.

Of course, Historia had been informed of Petra's true identity, and she had made sure to guarantee her father's safety. They met each other only once after that, and needless to say, their pleasant personalities made them hit it off right away.

"Have you seen something?" Historia had asked her.

"What do you mean exactly?"

"One of the owners of the Jaw Titan was a girl called Ymir. She was in our squad until a couple years ago."

"Sorry…"

Levi looked at everything from afar. He thought they were somewhat alike in how they tried to please others while keeping a fierce beast underneath.

Historia's letter gave her the details of her father's situation and opened a discussion of whether they should be ascended to nobility or not. Petra made up her mind on the matter fastly, leaving the final word to her father. She couldn't have kids and was too busy with her job to worry about an outside life. Already feeling the thrill of the upcoming events, she signed the letter and gave it back to Sonia.

Levi walked into the tent dressed in their new equipment. Petra didn't lose the chance to get a good look. "You look nice," she said, putting down the quill.

"I knew you were going to say something."

"Then you know you look," she smirked.

Levi never got used to flattery, no matter how much she pampered him with the sweetest of words. In the beginning, it hurt to hear what he felt was a lie, but he slowly came to understand she saw him like that. It had always made him self-conscious to think about other's perceptions of him. He would never show so, but it always affected him. If it was good? It felt stupid. If it was bad? They were right, but it still sucked. There was no escape when it came to the image of him in his mind, but then Petra came. She had seen it all, every version of him, and still liked him.

"I think you have more merit for pulling off the previous one," he replied, approaching her.

"Ah, yes, the good times," Petra laughed sweetly, grabbing the blank envelope. She reached the letter opener and cut the paper. Levi bent over her, putting his hands on the table on each side of her to place his face next to hers. She tilted her head on his cheek as they both looked at the content of that letter.

"Dear Lieutenant, It's me, Yelena…"

Chapter 16: Devils of the Island

Summary:

"Three days later, someone slid a paper under her door with a handwritten address. Petra could distinguish Yelena's handwriting anywhere since she had read the content of that envelope back on their island. The moment had come for her to try the last resource before she saw herself trapped between Eren's fingers or teeth."

Notes:

Forgive me for any mistakes I might've made. My beta was busy today, so I will edit them later. Enjoy! 3

Chapter Text

Petra walked through the deck, aware of how all the heads turned at the sound of her heels. It had been long since she had felt beautiful, at least in that way. She felt fierce and well composed in her uniform, while her civilian clothes made her feel dainty and feminine, but she seldomly managed to handle both.

The two-piece outfit they had given her seemed quite avant-garde at first. She had never seen a "feminized" suit. In Paradís, a suit could be worn without changes for both men and women. However, Onyankopon had warned them that gender tended to play a more prominent role in Marley's culture. The ginger woman wasn't too please at the discovery but still appreciated how the cut of her clothes enhanced her figure.

At first, she felt a bit wrong to think that her outfit seemed somewhat more refined than her companions, but her small complexion had made her the only possible wearer of that tiny waist.

She had never been on such a huge ship. Nothing was cutting the horizon around, only the sea. Being outside the walls had made them change their notions of magnitudes. The world was huge, and they were alone against it. Little by little, a city dawned on end. Petra had never seen buildings from so far away either. It seemed so… symmetrical. The buildings were next to each other in perfect lines, something she had only seen in the residential areas of Wall Rose. Was that the city she had seen in her visions?

Drawn by sight ahead of her, she walked up to the railing. It didn't take her long to advert the presence of the tall, handsome man next to her. She turned her head to find him checking her out discreetly, looking at her hands. Unluckily for him, a pair of leather gloves covered them. "Is he looking for a ring?" She cleverly guessed.

Petra looked away. Her union with Levi had been anything but ordinary. She couldn't carry any sign of him. Well, at least where the sun hit. Her eyes traveled down and watched as the bow of the ship cut the waves underneath. She was a little tired of indulging in that sort of self-pity. Why did she care so much about something so insignificant? Perhaps her mind had been focusing on the small things, trying to enjoy something, and so her skin had gotten way too thin.

The steps of the man walked away fastly as another reclined next to her. Levi rested his elbow on the railing as he tried to get a glimpse of her expression. Petra laughed at the realization that he had come exclusively to scare off her suitor.

"Are you okay?" He asked, eyes fixated on her.

"I am," she spoke sweetly.

There were more ways Petra felt beautiful. She felt like a breathtaking force of nature next to Levi. He made her feel divine. Her husband rarely spoke about her beauty, but she saw it in his eyes. She was seeing it right now.

Levi looked forward at the growing line of buildings in front of them. A world without titans beyond the walls. They were finally seeing it.

Petra hugged his arm with her hand. "Whatever happens, we stick together now," she whispered.

They were soon interrupted by the excited voices of their squads behind them. They all approached the railing, gasping at the colorful view. With such childish attitudes, no one could've suspected what they came to do.

As soon as they disembarked, Onyankopon met them to accompany them to the Azumabito's residence.

The city was wonderful. An explosion of new colors and scents poured out of the shops with beautiful glass sideboards, and the metal cars glided as if by magic without any push through the cobbled streets. Levi put a hand to his head, undergoing the stress of having to control a dozen excited teenagers.

"Let them be. This is how the "normal youth" behaves!" Petra laughed without letting go of his arm.

"Hange is 36, Petra," he answered. "People are looking at us weird."

"Maybe they're just looking at me," she flirted.

"Well, then stop catching attention. Your brats are about to feed carrots to that lump of iron."

She rolled her eyes with a soft smile and distracted the young infiltrators by pointing at a market close by. They had all become really receptive to Petra. Nobody suspected a thing when she gave orders like a pissed older sister, and the people around rapidly lost interest in them again.

"What is that thing?" Edith asked in front of her.

"Ice cream-" Irina read. "Let's buy some! Do you want one, Lieu- ugh Petra?"

"Sure! Buy one for Levi too."

"I don't want one," he muttered.

"Yes, you do. I'm paying," Petra kissed his cheek.

His stomach flinched at the gesture, used to the idea that nobody could see them. However, he slowly unclenched his jaw at the realization that nobody knew him. They were an ordinary couple there.

The teenagers gathered around the cart, discussing which flavors to pick. Onyankopon and Hange talked behind them, ignoring their closeness. Petra's behavior might come in handy. They seemed more "normal," acting like a couple. That was right. This was just normal. Levi wondered if he could risk himself a bit and place a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Hey there, kid! How about an incredibly sweeeeet candy?" He froze, knowing damn well that voice was addressing him. Why now?

Petra trapped her lips between her teeth, letting a soft snort.

"I'm talking to you," the clown continued behind him.

The last thing Levi needed was to feel humiliated the moment he was thinking about doing something he deemed embarrassing per se. God, he felt stupid. Petra went serious at his expression. She expected him to feel offended, having to shut up his rage due to the circumstances.

"So cool! Are you a gang of little children?" They all turned to look at the funny-looking man, not fully understanding his concept. Even Hange looked misplaced.

"Ugh, I'll have it?" Petra said, taking the lollypop with her left hand. The clown bowed at her gesture and left to entertain another group.

"Don't you dare eat that," Levi told her, taking the sweet away.

"Levi, I'm sure it's fine. You could've asked him to leave."

"He caught me thinking…."

"I saw that… Do you want to talk?" She asked, handing him the lollypop.

"Am I that short?" A shadow darkened his eyes in a bitter expression.

Petra started laughing again, completely caught off guard by his question. "Is this really about that?"

"Why can't you stop laughing at me? Somehow I breathe, and you think it's hilarious," he complained.

"I laugh because you're sweet. I would never make fun of your physique. You're perfect for me!"

His expression softened, looking at her eyes and then the lollipop in his hand. "I wasn't thinking about that," he said pensively. Without thinking much, he placed his arm around her waist softly and kissed her brow. Levi left his face next to hers and shyly went for her lips. He could feel her smile under their kiss. They had never done that in broad daylight, in the middle of the street, as if nothing mattered.

"Y- your ice- creams…" Irina's voice decreased as she approached. Everybody was looking in their direction now.
"What are you looking at?" Levi snapped at the crowd of big eyes teasing him.

They all quickly turned to mind their business again, not without exchanging a couple of looks between them.

Petra and Levi looked at each other. If they ended up infiltrating here for long, they had agreed to live together. Not only because they wanted to be with each other, but they also needed someone to take care of her advancing decay when it worsened. She couldn't die before passing her powers…

"Evelyn!" Nathaniel's voice caught their attention. He had his arms opened towards his friend, "let's follow the example of our superiors. Kiss me-" He was shut down by a ball of ice cream splashing into his face as the flustered girl tried to keep it together.

The following days ended up destroying their hopes of seeking some kind of support in Marley. The discrimination was palpable in the air. They even were subjecting the citizens to aleatory blood tests because of the generalized paranoia that the possibility of their presence generated. The refugee camps were full, dividing the cities between different racialized and hierarchical areas.

The class difference that had bothered them so much in Paradís was only one of the many injustices plaguing the otherwise wealthy nation.

The People of Ymir Preservation Society's speech was anything but hopeful. During those three hours, they couldn't do anything else but listen and mourn at how successfully Marley had managed to turn Eldia against its people. They all looked at Hange, searching for some relief, but their expression reflected what they already knew. They had run out of options. Now they would be forced to stay there in the shadows until they get their chance to attack.

Petra was in the stands when she heard Mikasa's voice whispering from her back.

"Eren ..."

The honey-haired woman turned to watch the boy leave the room through a small door. The rest didn't pay much attention to it, leaving aside the strangeness of his behavior. However, Petra knew perfectly well that he had something in mind. Every week that passed, she watched him fade away. In that sense, she and Eren were alike at the moment.

Discreetly, she shot a glance at Levi and followed him out.

"Wait-" She stopped him in the lonely corridor. Petra made sure they were alone before approaching him any further.

Eren didn't turn to face her even though he had stopped walking.

"Where are you going? You knew this was going to happen, right? I saw you in that place," as she finished speaking, he finally turned to face her.

"What did you see?" He asked.

"Not much, just… I saw this city under attack. There was so much blood and corpses-"

"Then you already know why I can't let you eat me," he replied softly.

"Eren- Is that our fault? Are we- going to do that?"

Silence followed her question as the light in his eyes got dull.

"Don't follow me, Petra. I will keep my word. You all will hear from me again. However, the letter that you will receive it's for you alone. You can't show it to anyone, not even Levi."

"What are you going to ask me to do?" Her voice shook.

"To return me the favor. I trusted you once, despite the bloodshed we left behind. Now, it's your turn."

Petra stood motionless as he resumed his pace. Back at the beach, he had told her there was a price for staying on Levi's side. A chill ran down her neck.

"How much am I willing to pay?"

Three days later, someone slid a paper under her door with a handwritten address and a "Tomorrow." Petra could distinguish Yelena's handwriting anywhere since she had read the content of that envelope back on their island. The moment had come for her to try the last resource before she saw herself trapped between Eren's fingers or teeth.

That same night, Levi was awoken twice by nightmares. They had accommodated themselves in their new apartment already, although they didn't carry much with them. All their clothes were new, the spaces and the people. Espionage aside, there was something weirdly depersonalizing about it.

Levi was lying, giving his back to her, and she woke up with a startle at the unexpected spasm he made. The first time she didn't think much of it, but the second was so strong it scared her for real. His hands were grasping into the sheets, pressing his face against his pillow with a furrowed brow.

It wasn't the first time she saw him during one of those episodes. They had managed to get him to sleep more, but no wonder he had a hard time resting when his mind came to terrorize him so severely.

Petra put her hand slowly in his shoulder, making sure not to wake him too fast.

"Levi… It's okay," she spoke to his ear. His skin was burning, and she swore she could feel the blood racing under his skin. "Levi," she repeated, trying to get him back.

He suddenly opened his eyes, and a slight sound escaped from his throat. Levi put his back against the mattress to face her as he looked around, trying to relocate himself in this reality. She put a hand against his agitated chest and felt the rhythm of a restless heart.
"It's okay. You're having a bad night…."

He didn't reply. His head was tilted to the opposite side now as he tried to retake control of his breath.

"Thank you," he replied.

"Of course…" Petra caressed his chest, trying to ease the source of his anxiety, but the torment underneath his skin wouldn't come out.

Levi raised his arms to press her against him. "I thought I had lost you for real," he said. "All these dreams I have, they seem so possible. It's hard not to believe your nightmares when they can come true anytime."

Petra kissed his collarbone, feeling the heat of his skin. Is this how it felt while he was fighting?

"I'm sorry. I'm a little bit scared of what could happen tomorrow as well."

Levi's breath had calmed down a little more. The muscles of his face had relaxed, and he looked beautiful in the blue light. Petra buried her face in his neck and started kissing him. Her soft lips soothed him, but the buildup slowly started to take over. The tired man closed his eyes, giving her space to continue tasting him.

Feeling his heavy breathing, Petra undid the laces of her nightgown and pulled it down her shoulders. He didn't miss the chance to open his eyes and get a glimpse of her bare breasts. She leaned down again, letting the tenderness of her chest rest on him.

Levi reached for her lips, grabbing her face with both hands. His fingers tangled with her hair, letting out a soft hum of pleasure.

"The sun will rise soon," she said with a breathy voice, "what do you want to do?"

His face clashed with hers again in another kiss. "This," he grunted, rocking his hips against her core. "Fuck this shitty night already."

The sun rose, and when it reached its highest point, they headed for the city. They had agreed that someone trusted would help them infiltrate the Titan Biology Research. There was no way of getting inside without someone seeing them. It seemed like the doctor Yelena had talked about barely got out of there, and he had to be heavily guarded due to the secrets he kept. It seemed strange to think that someone like that could be on their side.

Levi insisted to Hange to let him accompany her. The letter specified that only two people could get in, and he deemed himself the better company.

The streets were full of people shopping in the markets, although the ambiance was relatively calm. After a while, Levi leaned closer to her and whispered, "someone is following us already."

"Weren't they supposed to wait for us?" She asked, signaling a discreet alley where they could face whoever was walking behind them

They made sure to be deep enough into the street to finally turn to look at their followers. It didn't take them long to recognize them.

"Guys! What do you think you're doing?" Petra sighed in frustration as she put her fists on her hips.

Irina took the scarf off her head as Sabah removed their hat.

"I'm sorry, Petra," the girl started, "but this plan seems way too risky. We thought we could take care of you too from afar."

"Are you stupid? It took me three seconds to realize you were following us. If these people see we've broken the deal, they'll be more likely to attack us. Petra will be fine with me." Levi said.

"Sabah, you're smart enough to know that. Why are you here?" The ginger asked.

Sabah swallowed as they walked towards them. "Ethan Ackerman… The man that started this investigation. I- I want to found out more about him."

"How is that?" Levi asked. He hadn't missed the soldier's abnormal dexterity during his training. Could it be that-

A scream from the main street interrupted their conversation. Almost instinctively, Irina and Sabah ran in its direction. Petra was ready to follow when Levi took her by the arm. "You stay here. If something happens, you can't miss the reunion," he told her before leaving.

Petra sighed, worried, but decided to wait just in case.

Levi came out of the alley and saw Irina helping an old man sitting on the floor. It looked like he had fallen. "So much fuss for this?" He thought as he approached. He then realized that the people around them had stopped to watch, but no one dare come closer. His eyes traveled back to the man. He was wearing a band around his arm. Well fuck.

"Can you move it?" Irina asked, checking on his ankle. It was swollen.

"No- Sorry," the man spoke in pain.

"Don't worry. I'm a doctor. Let me look at it a bit more…" The blonde girl tried to help him, oblivious to the spiteful eyes around them.

The old man's eyes grew bigger. "Please, let it be, girl. You'll get in trouble if you keep talking to me."

"What are you talking about? I'm just helping an old man."

Levi and Sabah soon averted that a woman across the square was whispering something to a couple of soldiers.

"Irina, get in the alley, now," Sabah said. "Go hide with Petra and leave this to us."

The blonde girl reacted quickly at their tone, running back before the officers could see her. Sabah grabbed the man by the waist and helped him stand on one foot.

"What is going on in here?" One of the soldiers asked once they reached them.

"This man fell and couldn't get up. I'm just helping him," they spoke.

"That's not a man. That sack of bones is Eldian scum. Why the hell would you want to help them?"

Sabah's cold stare flinched at the man's words. "You're looking way too much into it. He was on the way," they continued.

"Oh, I see. Still, you have some weird affections, I must say," the officer muttered. "Are you with him?" He turned to ask Levi.

"Yes."

"Well, luckily for you, I only have one of these left," he said, taking a syringe from his belt. "Who of the two will I submit to quick a blood test?"

Adrenaline shot through Levi's body like a cannonball. Shit, they were about to be discovered. There was plenty of people around, leaving no way of getting out of there without confirming their suspicions.

"I will do it," Levi said. His blood was different; therefore, there was a chance he would pass the test.

The officer laughed sarcastically at him. "Who said you could choose?" His cruel expression turned to face Sabah, asking for his arm. With nerves of steel, Sabah reached out to the soldier, who did not hesitate to grasp it tightly.

Levi looked at the scene with terrified eyes. Fuck. If only he hadn't opened his mouth. The safety of all their companions was about to be compromised for helping a poor guy. His mind raced, searching for an escape in a lapse of seconds that seemed eternal.

Before he could react, the needle was inside Sabah's arm, and their blood filled the glass container. With a grimace of superiority, the soldier poured the blood in a test tube with a blue powder.

Red drops were left running down Sabah's arm as they fought their panic as well.

The officer shook the mixture inside the tube and waited. Minutes passed like ages while they waited for the concoction to react. More people had gathered around them, keeping their distance. They didn't want to miss the opportunity to witness how the island's demons were discovered, but nothing happened.

"I guess I owe you an apology, gentleman," the soldier spoke with disdain of disappointment. "Your blood seems to be clean. However, I must advise you not to get too close to these devils. The population is quite paranoid about the possibility that Paradis soldiers have already reached us."

"I'll keep it in mind," Sabah replied, finally able to relax their muscles.

The soldier nodded without taking his eyes off them and felt.

Panic began to dissipate from Levi's mind as he looked into Sabah's eyes.

"Thank god we're related," they spoke, making Levi open his eyes even more. He was right about his suspicions earlier; Sabah was an Ackerman too.

"Thank you both for your help," the poor old man spoke. "Any other person would've left me to die… You've saved me."

"Don't worry, grandpa," Sabah said. "I'll carry you back to your people." With a nod of the head, Levi and Sabah parted ways.

The captain started walking back into the alley, but luck wasn't on his side. Nervousness spiked back into his system when he saw Irina was lying on the ground.

He ran towards her and checked her pulse. "Thank god," she was just unconscious. Someone had hit her from behind, but most importantly, Petra was gone.

"Irina! Wake up."

The girl slowly opened her eyes, "Wh- what happened?"

"Get the fuck out of here. They've found us," he told her.

"What!?"

"Just do as I say! Tell everyone Petra is gone," he was on the verge of panic. He had just left her for ten minutes…

"She's not," a male voice spoke from an inlet on the alley.

Levi ran fastly towards it, ready to attack, but his blood froze at sight. Petra was standing motionless, hands behind her head and a knife against her neck.

"I'm very sorry for my manners, but it was the only way to keep her quiet. I couldn't let those soldiers find her," he spoke, fixing his glasses. It was evident by his messy appearance that Petra had put up a fight.

"Zeke," Levi greeted between his teeth.

"Long time no see, Levi Ackerman."

Chapter 17: Master of Death

Summary:

"There was something about your face. Your eyes seemed 'less dead,' in a way. It was quite a tragic view, but I guess you gave me the impression of someone who could keep going for a little longer."

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Levi's heart was pounding in his ears, and he was pretty sure his eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. Petra's heavy breathing was beginning to slow down after the struggle. Delicately, she tried to press the knife against her neck, intending to inflict a wound on herself if she needed to transform.

"Ah- ah- ah-," Zeke withdrew the knife a bit. "It seems you got away from that blood test. Let's not cause a scene now…"

Irina came running to help the Captain but froze as well. "Petra!"

"Oh, you're awake already. Levi, I think our agreement only included two people. Could you please make your orders be met?" Despite the provocativeness of Zeke's words, his tone remained neutral, almost cordial.

Levi's patience was wearing thin by the minute. That idiot knew perfectly well what the price of messing with him was. Was he this fucking stupid for real?

"Our agreement?" the Captain leveled himself, "last time I checked, you weren't a part of it. Now, let her go before I turn you into monkey-shit again."

"Huh? And who did you think was that "trustworthy individual" capable of getting you into such an organization?"

Petra's golden eyes searched Zeke's face, still ablaze with adrenaline's fire.

"Like it or not, we're on the same side right now. I came here to help you save this… precious friend of yours. Unluckily, I found out there were four of you, and the military was about to catch you. You understand I couldn't let her escape, don't you? This little woman has so many answers we can't lose..."

As he spoke, Zeke lowered his face to look at Petra, "I remember you, back in that bloody field…"

Petra's eyes went big. That's right. She knew Zeke had been the one to resurrect her. That's what Yelena had told them. He was also the bearer of the beast titan and the murderer of almost the entirety of the corps, including Commander Erwin.

This was the man Levi hated so vehemently.

Her eyes shifted back to Levi, whose mind decomposed in a raging spiral of frustrated murderous intent.

"Precious friend," he repeated Zeke's words to himself. Was it that evident? Fuck. Since when had his temper became this volatile? He always carried his knife with him. He could kill him right there before he even had the chance to realize. However, that would mean betraying his companions and losing the opportunity to save Petra.

Zeke sighed in relief at Levi's more relaxed yet tormented expression. "Please, Petra, isn't it? Tell him to stop looking at me that way. I promise not to hurt any of you. Just tell me, how did you pass the blood test?"

Of course, Petra hadn't had the chance to witness the tense exchange her companions had with those officers.

"The boy that was with us, he's like me," Levi spoke grimly.

Both Irina and the Lieutenant stared at him in surprise. So that's why Sabah is like "that." They were an Ackerman too.

The blond man let out a worried noise, "Really? Ugh, how many of you beasts are there?"

"How dare you of all people call them beasts!" Irina snapped behind Levi.

"It's fine, Irina. Leave us… We didn't know we were going to be followed," Petra spoke after Zeke removed his hand from her mouth. "Let's go with him, Levi."

"But…" Irina hesitated.

Levi frowned and grunted in disgust. To think that her life depended on the fucking monkey was a nightmare. In fact, he had been dodging for years the idea that Zeke had brought her back. He didn't want to feel an iota of gratitude towards him. Whenever he did so, Levi felt forced to confront a never-ending sea of feelings and intrusive thoughts. Maybe it would've been better for her to rest in peace, like Erwin. What if this was nothing else but another joke? Perhaps life had only brought her back to torment him once again, to remember him that he had failed.

The more her time ran out, the more he remembered her words back in that bar. "Things would be easier without me. I can't help but think that, deep down, you would rather have me gone."

He squeezed his eyes and shook his head. He couldn't chicken out now.

"Irina, do as she says. We'll be fine," he concluded.

The blonde girl nodded, unconvinced, and ran away. At least she would be able to inform the rest about their situation.

Zeke finally let go of the ginger woman, who took a deep breath in relief. That had been a close call. She eventually turned around and took the chance to get a good glimpse of her attacker. Petra had been unable to notice his presence until Irina was knocked down by surprise. That margin of surprise was what allowed him to immobilize her since he didn't seem as good as she is in close combat.

Petra was disappointed in herself. She had been doing her best to prepare herself to fight against other humans, but they were still at a disadvantage.
"Alright then, let's go," the tall man spoke and started walking into the alley. Levi and Petra followed him in silence, without losing sight of his nape, maybe because they were already trained to target that area wherever danger approached.

She felt her hands go colder with each step. As much as she was aware of the risks, she felt hopeful. This might be her shot. Yelena had let her know that they wanted her out of their way. They seemed way more focused on Eren… Whether or not this made them more trustworthy, she didn't know yet.

Her eyes searched Levi's. His gaze was steel cold and fixated on the man in front of them. He wasn't joking when he told her he would be there for her. His presence always made her feel safer, but she couldn't lose sight of the fact that they were about to face a turning event for both.

This meeting would determine if there is any hope.

As her mind wandered around, tracing imaginary lines around Levi's face, Zeke stopped walking. He took off his white coat, revealing a hidden piece of fabric tied to his shoulders where he had hidden some lab clothes.

"Put these on, please."

Without much deliberation, they made sure no one saw them and changed their clothes rapidly. Afterward, the bearded man hid their civilians' clothes back again under his coat.

"Well, that was professional," he teased, for the couple hadn't hesitated to change in front of each other. His remark was received with spiteful eyes, causing him to deflate his shoulder once again. "It was a lighthearted remark. I promise! I guess I've never been too good at breaking the ice."

"Maybe stop introducing yourself with a surprise attack," Petra said, looking down at the sleeves of her coat. The uniform was slightly large on her despite her small frame.

Levi's face twitched at the way Zeke's eyes didn't seem to leave her. "Couldn't you pick something that looked less like a costume?" He broke his silence for the first time.

"I gave you the smallest ones. Yelena warned me you were tiny," he addressed Petra, "and she also guessed you would be the one joining her, Levi."

The Captain tsked at his remark, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Allow me," Zeke told Petra, asking to help her with her sleeves. "The other women fix it like this when it doesn't fit well. This way, you shouldn't raise any suspicions."

Levi's grimace of disgust aggravated as he saw him folding the fabric inside Petra's sleeves. The softness on Zeke's eyes as he did so made the saliva on his mouth turn to acid. What the fuck was that?

"Thank you," Petra replied drily.

Levi shook his head fastly in her direction, looking at her with huge eyes.

"What?" She seemed to reply with her face.

The exchange didn't fly over Zeke's head. "I was just trying to help. No need to get jealous, yet…"

Petra raised an eyebrow in confusion while Levi mentally craved that line into Zeke's tombstone. The way he walked around so comfortable around him, his voice, his manners; he hated everything. He had enough emotional turmoil to have to deal with this right now.

Petra's elbow kicked his arm gently, bringing him out of his frustrated rampage as they started walking again. Her eyes seemed more lively despite everything. Then suddenly, it hit him.

She was doing this for him. Petra wanted to stay alive because of him. She didn't want for him to carry that cross once more, or at least that's what he thought. Without delay, guilt crawled back into his body like an old and forgotten friend.

They kept on walking until they reached the principal avenues again. A car was waiting for them. Zeke greeted the driver cheerfully and opened the door for them. Petra giggled at the tense way Levi got inside. He seemed to bit skeptical of the machine that Petra found fascinating.

They drove outside of the city for about half an hour until they reached an enormous structure. They both looked outside the window, trying to hide the astonishment under their facades. They hadn't seen anything like that before.

A vast concrete plain enclosed by fences served as a prologue for a tremendous gray mountain leveled in floors. There appeared to be lanes between the levels carrying materials and oversized cars carrying weapons.

The door was remarkably guarded, but they didn't even bother to look at them after recognizing Zeke on the front seat. It was evident now that he had to be the one to sneak them. His influence was impressive, to say the least.

A steel door was raised from the side of the structure, letting the car inside the building. At this point, neither of them could hide the surprise on their faces. The blonde man twisted his torso to look at them with a proud smile, "Lady and gentleman, welcome to the Titan Biology Research Society."

The car made its way inside until a big reception hall full of people roaming around in their cold white coats came into sight. They got out of the vehicle, and the car was escorted out of place. The smell of the air seemed different. A weird, chemical smell soon tingled their noses. What could that be?

Levi walked around the halls in disbelief. The light bounced back off the white and almost neon walls. He had never seen such clean surfaces and couldn't help but wonder what products were they using to achieve that.

They kept on walking deeper into the structure, passing through some heavily guarded doors thanks to Zeke's authority over that place.

"Hey, Zeke. How is that a simple soldier like you can move so freely in a place like this?" Petra whispered once they accessed a lonesome area.

"Well, I'm not a simple soldier. After all, I held the power of the Beast titan, which provides the serum that's used to transform people into pure titans. My relationship with this place is… quite close."

That was right. They had treated Eren as a regular soldier despite his powers, being confined and excluded from certain information despite his abilities. Marley's dynamics were different. They had been relying on the strength of titans for long, so shifters held a special place in that hierarchy.

"They knew I was coming," Zeke continued, "I had to withdraw from the front in the war with the Mid-East after the last lost battle. Without the Colossal and the Jaw titans, we're having kind of a rough time. Also, these nations have been developing some really interesting anti-titan technology, leaving us a bit outdated. I came back here to see if we could employ that serum I used on you."

Both Eldians tensed at his words… So they were planning to resurrect more soldiers, turning them into titans.

"Why me?"

The question came as a surprise for both men. Who stopped to look at her.

"Petra…" Levi whispered, feeling as if someone squished his heart in their fist.

"It's just curiosity," she brushed, deforming her expression in an attempt to hide her emotion.

Zeke had turned to face them both and was now looking at her. "You're quite a beautiful girl, nothing in comparison to how I found you the first time. To be honest, I wasn't planning on using the injections yet, but they had given them to me in hopes I might find one of your corpses. Of course, I was thrilled to see how you discarded all of them for my benefit."

Levi clenched his fists. The man before him seemed to be something between a child and a sociopath.

"Then I found you between the human pieces scattered on the field. Your insides were completely destroyed, but you were in one piece, which was all I needed. This version of the serum didn't work very well. The rest of the titans couldn't even move, but you did. I have no idea how you got lucky enough to eat Porco, though… There was something about your face. Your eyes seemed 'less dead,' in a way. It was quite a tragic view, but I guess you gave me the impression of someone who could keep going for a little longer." With complete apathy, he turned the other way around and resumed his way.

Petra's face went pale as she remembered to breathe again. So that was it, nothing else? Why was she surprised? Hadn't' she seen this countless times over the years? Right place and right time, or the other way round, but most of life was reduced to that at the end of the day.

Out of habit, she turned to share her feelings with Levi and found his tormented gaze on the floor. He was trapped once more in that forest, watching her face under that tree. The same face he had been seeing waking up next to him for the past three years. He wondered if he was about to see her like that again. Maybe that bloody scientist knows how to save her, but what guarantee did they have she would survive the war? What if he was to blame again for her death? Wasn't he anyway for letting her corpse outside?

His mind started wandering those dark corners again. He had managed to drown those thoughts after the first months together and after discovering the softness of her skin. However, time was running out again. Reality was knocking on his door, and death had come back to claim what they owned him.

"Behind this door," Zeke interrupted his turmoil.

Gradually, they went further into the building, reaching the narrower corridors they were in now. Petra looked up at the heavy door topped with metal rivets that separated them from their destination.

"Can he come with me?" She asked regarding Levi.

"Of course. We're all going in," Zeke replied, opening the latch for them. The room was secluded, and it was impossible to memorize the way to it in just one journey. Whomever Roger Furger was, he didn't seem to appreciate visits.

Once they walked in, the room was pretty dark, wholly deprived of any natural light in the inside of that concrete mass. The door led to a walkway raised from the ground. They had to go down some stairs to reach the desk the scientist sat in. The smell of pipe tobacco danced in the air, visible by the yellow light bulb that illuminated his face.

"Roger, get your nose out of those books. Miss Petra Ral is here," Zeke spoke as he walked down the stairs.

Their host was a balding man around his sixties, with bulging earthy eyes. He barely seemed to notice them at first but was quick to raise his head at the mention of her. Furthermore, he completely skipped over Zeke's introduction to focus his attention on her.

"Petra Ral. Is that you for real?" He spoke.

Levi came down and stood next to his nemesis, distrusting the way Roger seemed to ignore them both completely.

"Yes, I am," she replied confidently.

The scientist smiled and closed all his books nervously. He stood up then to give her a chair so she could join him. "Look at you… I'm Furger Roger, president of the revitalization project for the Marley Army. Well, you must already know this, but I'm the man who perfected Ethan's formula to bring you back."

Levi couldn't believe his eyes. He had seen Roger's expression before. It was just like Hange's when she looked at the titans. He paid attention to Petra because she was stimulating. In other words, he was just going crazy over the object of his studies.

"Yes, I do," Petra said, visibly uncomfortable when he grabbed her face to examine it like a jewel under the magnifying glass.

"Amazing! Completely alive… Do you know what you are? A miracle of Ymir, my girl. They've always tried to vilify Eldians, but only because they don't understand you." He laughed in contempt. "You're the most fascinating species that had walked upon this earth. Look at you! Do you think that this is a curse? This is science! This is a miracle brought by the combination of human wit and divine power."

Levi kept on looking at the man as he continued to fetishize his lovers' condition further for the sake of his intellectual satisfaction.

"I guess it's impressive, but I've come here in search of some answers," she spoke.

"Yes, Yes!" Roger stood up to grab a velvety box from the shelves behind him. "I have much more than answers," he said, opening it to reveal a syringe with a green emerald liquid next to it.

Petra leaned her torso on the table excitedly, "what is that?"

As soon as she took the hook, he closed the box again. "I'm eager to tell you, but first, I expect to get some answers from you."

The woman raised her gaze quickly, and Levi side-eyed Zeke in search of his reaction. "What is this about?" He asked.

"No need to get alarmed. You see, she is the only known resurrected titan to have reverted to her human form. We have managed to make a more stable serum formula, but I doubt we'll get the chance to feed another shifter to a resurrected soldier," Zeke said.

"Allow me to show you something," Roger spoke, opening the old manuscript he was looking at before they interrupted him. The miniature-lit pages showed paintings of decomposing bodies rising from their tombs, surrounded by blue and red. "These books are assumed to be from little after the great war against the Eldians. We haven't translated the whole thing yet, but our experts agree that a single artist has executed all of the images related to death. In other words, there was someone who lived almost 1000 years ago who specialized in painting images of death. Imagine how important it must be for someone to dedicate their whole career to that so that it becomes a specialty! In a world like ours, it's quite a recurrent theme. Death is what we all have in common, girl. Especially in times of war."

Petra listened to his words without losing sight of the walking corpses in the books. They were like her.

"Now this has changed! Thanks to the power of your people and my work, we can control it. There's no need for life to end. Look at you! You came back with your memories and everything, I assume. That's what I want to do, Petra, defeat death," the old man finished, looking more gone by the second.

"Excuse me, but the serum is only capable of transforming dead people into titans, right? What kind of second life is that?"

Levi got worried about her intervention. That guy didn't seem the right person to argue with. No matter how smart he was, there was something off with his logic regarding his ethics.

"Even better! Whoever dares to kill Eldians on the battlefield violently will have to face them again as titans!"

Petra swallowed, disturbed. She just wanted for this uncomfortable reunion to be over. "Shall we skip to the questions then?"

"Of course!" He nodded enthusiastically, putting all the manuscripts to one side. As he did so, a piece of translucent crystal appeared underneath. The shiny material caught her attention, although she didn't think much of it until Roger tried to hide it away quickly. His nervous hands threw it inside the drawer, making Zeke facepalm himself.

"What was that?" Levi spoke from behind.

"Ugh... Nothing important, just a piece of the natural hardness some of the nine titans produce."

"Like the one Annie is in," Petra guessed to herself. She hadn't seen it herself, but Hange had told her.

"What's so special about it?" Levi teased him.

"It's really hard… and… it can also protect a shifter when they are inside. They can survive-"

"Enough!" Zeke shut him.

Petra and Levi exchanged a quick look. How couldn't they guess it before? If Annie was alive inside the crystal without food or water, that meant the material could stop the natural degradation of her body. Living trapped inside a rock wasn't something she was willing to do, but perhaps that could give them a little more time.

However, there was something murky about the fact that they didn't want to talk about it. Saving her wasn't their real priority. They just wanted a chance to inject her again. Roger wanted to experiment with her.

The realization hit Petra like a brick, but at least she was finally aware of what situation she had gotten herself into. During the following minutes, Roger continued to interrogate her about her powers and requested all the information they had gathered during their tests. Meanwhile, the ginger woman couldn't help but shiver, not knowing how they would use that information. Roger was supposed to be on their side, but after meeting him, it was evident he would side with whoever let him carry out what he had in mind. It was horrible to think that perhaps that knowledge would be used in Marley's favor to kill more civilians in other nations. She was just trying to save herself, but who knows what the consequences of this exchange would be.

Years ago, she had asked Levi if he thought she'd be capable of killing a teenager to survive. Ironically, she might be killing hundreds just by speaking here.

"Thank you, thank you…" Roger closed his notes, taking the box out again with a grim smile. "You wanted to know what this is. Well, this is the final version of the serum. This can fully regenerate blown-up corpses and create functional titans. Of course, this is a much softer version of it. We don't want you to collapse!" He laughed alone.

Petra felt as if the temperature had dropped considerably around her, and a hole opened in her stomach. "For- From what I know, if you're injected twice, you die," her voice shook.

"Indeed! That's how it was with the rest of the serums, but this one is different."

"How do you know that?" Levi snapped again.

"We have tested it in other injected titans. Almost half of them survived!"

"Almost?"

Silence took over the office.

"Look, this is as good as it gets. This serum shouldn't even exist. I made it especially for you! You're running out of time anyway. You can take your shot and survive, or just die, now or later."

Petra felt her heart pounding on her head. "I'll do it."

"Good! Good!" Roger celebrated, "Let's go to a safer place, just in case."

Zeke started walking upstairs, followed by Roger. Levi stood immobile as they passed next to him. Once she reached him, they exchanged a long last look. Her lips parted a bit as if she was about to speak, but nothing came out. Not that it mattered, he would have barely listened. He was too busy memorizing her eyes in case this was the last time.

Notes:

Thank you for reading! I decided to cut the chapter here because it was getting too long. Please, feel free to share your thought in the comments. 3

Chapter 18: Hostage

Summary:

"He had lived moments like this before. All of their missions in the past had the same taste. He had been delusional to hope for a better outcome, but that was what kept him going perhaps: absolute numbness sometimes, blind devotion at others. "Perfect," he thought—those used to be them. Absolute numb Captain Levi and blindly devoted Petra Ral."

Notes:

Sorry for the delay! I needed to take a short break the past week. I hope you will like it!

Chapter Text

Levi remained motionless at the end of the stairs, watching her go up once again. His mind was getting more tired by the minute, and fear started to overwhelm his limbs. The sound of Petra's feet over the metal catwalk was in tandem with the rhythm of his pulse, and he shivered to the draft of cold air that hit him when Zeke opened the door.

"Don't just stand there," the blonde man addressed him.

The Captain sent him a defiant look as he started to follow them, making his white coat dance with his pace. Everything about that reunion had felt off. He knew his gut wasn't failing him. At first, he thought that Zeke's irruption might have thrown his mind off balance, but this wasn't it. He had lived moments like this before. All of their missions in the past had the same taste. He had been delusional to hope for a better outcome, but that was what kept him going perhaps: absolute numbness sometimes, blind devotion at others. "Perfect," he thought—those used to be them. Absolute numb Captain Levi and blindly devoted Petra Ral.

Distrust was beginning to unravel his perception. Petra was wearing white, and they were going up inside the building. What if this was the first death she saw in her vision? Maybe Eren was involved in this as well. Roger didn't seem to leave her side, but he needed to ask her. "Calm down," sanity called to him. She was smart enough to realize if this is similar to what she saw, and so far, she seemed calm.

That last realization hurt him.

Was he alone with his thoughts in this? Levi hid his hands inside his pockets, unconsciously trying to ease himself by holding onto something. "Are we going to the rooftop?" He decided to ask casually. The ginger stopped to face him, for she had understood his intentions. However, her peaceful face was disrupted when he saw his. Levi frowned at her expression. He hadn't realized it, but his lips were white as a paper sheet.

"No, we're not," Zeke spoke, "do you need to take some air? You seem a little pale."

Levi took a deep breath and bit his lower lip in an attempt to bring his blood back. That beast was teasing him again. His weakness for her was painfully evident. "Don't worry about me."

The corner of Roger's lips drew a malicious smirk at their exchange. Unable to contain himself, his hand caressed the velvet box as he started walking again. Meanwhile, Petra slowed her pace on purpose, trying to get by his side. The muscles around Levi's thorax seemed to relax with her closeness. As they kept on walking through that concrete maze, her knuckles caressed him. He knew it had been on purpose and tried to return the gesture, holding into her fingers for a moment.

"I love you," he tried to tell her with his eyes, but she kept looking down. He had promised her to stay by her side and watch over her, but he was utterly helpless. There was nothing else he could do besides "watch." He felt sick.

They made it to a corridor that seemed to communicate with another structure outside the main building. It was an industrial-type structure, with brass walls, completely empty. Once again, there was a high walkway that created a latticework at the top of the building. It was evident that it was a strategic decision ... Surely, they would experiment with the Titans inside these buildings, with the soldiers and doctors having a particular advantage due to their elevated position.

They continued walking the gangways until they reached the only stair that allowed access to the ground level. Before going down, Roger opened the box and filled the syringe with the emerald liquid. Levi's eyes didn't drift away from his hands as he handed it to Petra, who didn't even tremble.

"Good girl," the mad doctor said, "ideally, it should be injected to your nape, but you would take us down with you if something goes wrong. So inject it in your left arm instead." As he spoke, he couldn't get rid of a perverted smile. He was far too excited with his little experiment to care about her wellbeing. His expression was nerve-wracking to Levi, who wished he could make him spit each tooth he showed.

Petra nodded as she took the syringe with her right hand. Her golden eyes seemed to darken at the reflection of the pearly liquid. It was freezing. She filled her lungs completely before letting out a shaky breath, almost as if her body shivered at the sole presence of that fluid, anticipating something she couldn't even know yet.

The moment of truth had come. She was about to be saved or experiment a whole new death she hadn't seen in her visions.

"Last terms of our agreement," Zeke broke the silence again. "We think she has a chance, but if it goes wrong, I will eat her. Understood?"

"Your head will roll on the ground before you can even try," Levi snapped.

"Calm yourself down. I can't let a random abnormal in a closed building. They would suspect. Plus, you are the ones willing to lose the power of the Jaw titan to save her. You just had to pass her powers to Eren, and the problem would've been solved. Why so much trouble? Do you think the thirteen-year rule won't still apply to her? You need to understand that she would never be completely saved. A syringe can't break the curse of Ymir."

Levi's throat went dry at his words, but he didn't give a fuck anymore. He had been happy next to her for the past three years, and he would fight his way out of hell to keep her a day longer. "Does four equal thirteen in your head, you fucking idiot? Would you rather be punched thirteen times instead of four then?"

"Whatever you want, but I can't leave her here."

"Can you both stop arguing? This could also improve my titan abilities, so I don't think it's completely useless. Let Zeke do as he must. Perhaps my curse will be transmitted to him afterward," after she finished speaking, Petra sent a cold glance towards the blonde's direction.

A choked sound came out of his throat.

She was right. They didn't know what could happen after eating a resurrected shifter. Most likely nothing, but now it was apparent why the Captain found her so "interesting."

Petra's eyes looked down the stairs, ready to commit to the experiment. As she started to go down, her mind went over Zeke's words. He was somewhat correct, which made her feel guilty. Perhaps she shouldn't have let Levi get his hopes up so much, not only for him but for both of them. The denial they had been living during the last years felt like a betrayal now. They knew this was coming, but it didn't hurt a little less.

She had spent years going over her conversations with Eren back when he used to talk to them. He was like a desperate snake biting its own tail; he had swallowed himself up. He had told her something about a curse and needing more time. Could it be that the girl she saw back in that place was Ymir? Petra knew that she was indirectly refusing to follow Eren's plan by doing this experiment, whatever it was. "I'm sorry, kid, but I need to trust in myself now."

The woman finished going downstairs and positioned herself far enough. Soon enough, she heard the sound of footsteps running behind her. She wasn't surprised to see Levi, cold sweating behind her. If they spoke low enough, they probably wouldn't hear them now.

"Petra, I will do it. I'll inject it directly to your neck."

"Levi…" Her heart felt lighter whenever he approached her, even now. "I can't risk you to save myself. If I die here, we'll lose the power of a titan. Humanity can't afford to lose you too."

The grey eyes before her saddened. The way she spoke strangely reminded him of the first time they spoke on that rooftop when she gave him her gear. "Please, don't say it again. You're going to ask me not to look back. Aren't you?"

She smiled softly at him and caressed his cheek. "I was going to tell you that I love you, but I'm glad you know what to do already. Now, go back upstairs," she almost whispered.

Levi tried to keep his cool, but he had been breaking down for a while now. He had feared this moment for far too long, and some part of him secretly wished for this to end. A portion of him couldn't help but wonder if it was time to give up and let her go. Maybe he was just selfish. The mess of thoughts and emotions he had been carrying through all these years started to break loose before her. He was perfectly aware of what he hid underneath his apparent stoicism, but he couldn't ignore it anymore.

The Captain stared at the syringe in her hand and remembered Erwin. He had let him die for a similar reason to what he was feeling now. This world was hell, and so he thought that perhaps letting him go was best. During all those years, he had seen so many friends die that he had learned to live in fear of losing. At times, the tension was so overwhelming that he just wanted it to stop, to let them die already and let his nightmares come true so he can at least find rest in grief.

This was one of those times where he could just turn around and let life decide, but not if it was her. Suddenly, he grabbed her arm, holding the syringe between them.
"Why are you doing this?"

"W-What do you mean now?" She asked in confusion, feeling how strongly her blood ran underneath his grip.

"Are you doing this for me? I need to know."

Petra hadn't seen that expression in a while, but she knew that whenever it appeared, Levi was wearing his heart on his sleeve. He wanted to get rid of his guilt.

"I'm doing this for the both of us," she spoke with a mix of kindness and fear.

"Then don't. I can't let you die for me again," his eyes begged her.

"Levi, if I let go of this opportunity now, I will be dying for you again. Let me find out if I can be saved!"

Her arm relaxed as he let her go slowly. "Promise me you want to live for yourself and not just for me."

"I promise you! I want to live for my father, the rest of my family, and even my squad… I want to make it out for my fallen teammates too. I'm much more than my devotion to you," she teased him softly. "I want to live for myself, Levi."

Carried away by the familiar sweetness of her face, Levi leaned into her lips, giving her a short and tender kiss. "I hope you're making me suffer for nothing," he spoke millimeters away from her.

"Goodbye, Levi," she laughed, holding her tears. Her hands trapped his face, paying him with a hungrier kiss.

He felt her smile fade against his lips and knew it was time to let go.

Disregarding the attentive gaze of their accomplices, Levi went back up the catwalk, holding his breath.

"You got lucky," Zeke said, lighting up a cigarette.

"You call this lucky?" Levi snarled in disbelief.

"It's much more than some of us will ever know," he took a puff of his cigar, "but I hope I won't get it this badly."

Levi grunted under his breath in frustration. He wanted Zeke dead even more now that he knew about them. His eyes shifted back quickly to the woman underneath, almost hurtling over the railing. Petra had rolled up her coat and was about to inject herself. Roger's hysterical laugh contrasted with Zeke's apparent calm on the opposite side. The needle was brushing against her skin when suddenly her eyes flew open. Her gaze was fixated in front of her as if she had seen something, and fastly turned to look behind her.

"W- What is going on?" Roger asked impatiently.

"No idea- Petra! We don't have all day. Hurry up!" Zeke shouted in her direction.

Meanwhile, chills ran up Levi's arms. He was sure she had seen something.

Petra had just begun to apply pressure to her veins when a familiar voice startled her. They were the only ones in the building, but somehow it had sounded as if it was next to her. "I must be imagining things," she thought, but then she felt a hand fall over her shoulder. Immediately after contact occurred, a figure appeared before her.

"E- Eren?" She whispered in shock. He was dressed in black, and his hair was long, just as she had seen him back in that place talking to the Ymir.

"Wh- What are we doing here?" Another familiar voice spoke behind her. Petra quickly turned her head to see Zeke standing behind her. Confused, she looked at her arm again to make sure she hadn't pinched herself and was experiencing some hallucination as a secondary effect. Zeke was upstairs next to Levi and also behind her?

"What is going on?" Her voice shook.

"You know what is going on," Eren spoke again, without taking his eyes away from the Zeke behind her. "This is the day you ate Petra after the injection failed."

She swore her heart stopped beating for a second. Was this a vision from the future? Did this mean Eren could travel in time?

"That's right, Petra," he addressed her in an intimidating demeanor. "You choose not to trust me to the end, and you died during this experiment. If you believe that the first death we saw together is the only possibility, you're damn wrong. Do you want to change that outcome? Drop the syringe, and listen to me for once."

Her eyes were big, and her hands were shaking. Levi and Zeke had started running back towards her, sensing that something was deeply wrong.

"How can you know?" She asked.

"There's no time. Drop the syringe or die here like a coward, unable to trust me once again. Are you going to repeat the same mistakes?" His eyes pierced her in a way that made her head hurt. What the hell was going on.

"Do as he says!" The Zeke behind her cried.

Carried away by the pressure, Petra dropped the syringe, shattering it and spilling the serum into the ground.

"No! You stupid whore! What have you done," Roger cried, burning his fingers in an attempt to touch the stain.

Levi approached her with relief in his big eyes. He felt a horrible sting in his head, almost able to perceive the energy shift around them. With just a blink, the specters next to her disappeared, leaving her in disbelief. Petra gasped with tension; she had almost died. Her hands reached her burning chest, and then she looked at the man crying on the floor.

"You monsters! Why can't you share your secrets? Now I will never know…" Roger continued rambling between sobs.

Zeke looked down at him, having to fix his glasses a bit. "So this is your decision," he sighed. "I guess the information you gave us is enough payment for now. I won't let this ruin the bigger picture of our plan." He spoke almost to himself.

"Take us out of here," Levi said.

"Not before telling me what you saw," the blonde man addressed Petra. "What made you panic?"

Petra took a deep breath, too tired to have that conversation. "Go ask Eren," she spoke drily.

"I will. Glad we're on the same side." He replied, raising Roger by the back of his collar. The scientist kept looking at the ground in denial. "On that note, Petra," Zeke continued, "now you should let Eren eat you. I don't think I have to remind you not to interfere with our plans from now on."

His blue eyes felt heavy over her, and Levi looked at them both in confusion. "What do you have to do with that kid?" The Captain asked.

"You don't seem very fond of patience, Levi, but you might want to use some for now."

The way back was somewhat uncomfortable, but they reached the city center at dusk, where they met Hange and Petra's squad. They were all glad to see them again, waiting to know if the Lieutenant had found some way to save herself. Their hopes were crushed when she communicated to them that nothing had changed.

"I'm sorry, Sabah," Levi said, "we couldn't find out anything about Ethan. His substitute was quite a disappointment."

"It's okay. I'm thankful regardless," the raven-haired soldier replied.

Shortly after, they parted ways. Petra and Levi returned to their apartment. Their heads hurt, accentuated by their hunger since they did not have time to eat. The sound of the latch closing came like a blessing, causing their bodies to relax simultaneously. Neither knew how to feel about that day. The only certainty is that they were back together, at last.

She took off her shoes and walked directly into the kitchen as Levi followed her. Her dainty fingers searched for a match to light a lamp, eager to put something in her mouth.

"Did you see him, Eren?" Levi asked.

"Yes, and Zeke too," Petra replied without stopping. She opened the pantry and took a couple of biscuits, whirring when she finally took out a bit. "They said I was about to die. I think they came from the future or something."

Levi gaped at her. He admired her for being able to get used to these crazy events. She had seemed so serene while he'd suffered like a dog all day long. His eyelids felt so heavy he didn't even care about the seriousness of her words.

"I think he went back to change this timeline. He implied I have multiple deaths, so I guess there are possibilities. He asked me to rely on him…" She continued without taking her eyes from the flickering flame of the lamp.

Had he had a little more energy, Levi would have doubted Eren's intentions again. He was fed up with his meddling, but few alternatives were left now. "Is that your choice?" He spoke in a soft tone, and for the first time, Petra turned to look at him.

"Yes, it is. I don't even think I have a choice. I'm so tired. I don't understand anything at this point. All I can do is trust my comrades…"

"Can you trust him?"

"The only person I can trust on this earth is you, to be honest. Even my father turned out to be full of crap. Well- Actually, now I remember how you gave orders to my soldiers without my consent, so… I guess that all is left for me is to keep going forward."

Levi lowered his gaze to the floor. It wasn't like her to be so petty. Petra was as done as he was. After a while, he let out a soft chuckle.

"What's so funny?" She asked, trying to hold back her tears.

"I just imagined those possibilities you talked about. That means there's a timeline where I lost you today. There might be another where I didn't even choose you for my squad, to begin with. And there's a Levi out there who watched you die but never saw you come back. I'm just so fucking happy that's not me."

Silence fell between them.

Petra stared at him motionless. The anger that consumed her moments ago froze at the image of him. As if she had unlocked a memory, she saw him again as she had done years ago, when she was his subordinate. He was right. There was a version of her who would never know he had loved her. "I didn't know you were into positive thinking," she laughed sadly.

She walked slowly towards him and embraced his waist, burying her face in his neck. As she held him close, her nose started to trace him slowly. Petra enjoyed the faint soap fragrance on his shirt and the softness of his freshly shaved neck. The intensity of her feelings made her dizzy. She wanted to be needy and rub against him like a puppy. "You smell so good…" Her hand reached up to his nape to delicately tangle her fingers in his hair. Levi was resting his cheek over her head and couldn't help tilt his head back as she started pampering soft kisses on his neck.

Her breath was soft against him, making him realize that she was going to tease him for a while. Petra hid her face against his shoulder, pressing herself against him. Her hands ran his body slow yet fiercely. She knew his skin perfectly well, but today, she needed to reassure herself that he was there.

"Levi?"

"What is it?"

"Tell me you love me."

Her eyes were fixated on him now. Her words came as a surprise to him, leaving him speechless for a while. He wasn't used to her demanding affection like that. Definitely, romance still wasn't his strong suit, and he felt somewhat tense at her request. "You can't expect a natural response to that," he answered.

Her lips shut him up quickly, and he soon grew confused at her sudden burst of intensity. Her breath hitched against him, warm like her. Levi staggered slightly until he was leaning against the wall. "Please," she begged politely, adjusting her tone in that perfect pitch he couldn't refuse. He deepened the kiss, making her moan.

"I love you," he grunted against her lips, making sure she was looking into his eyes as he spoke.

"Fuck, yes-," she cried softly as she kissed him repeatedly. Levi felt hard and frustrated. He could never give credit to how easy he was. Petra just needed a subtle gesture to play him like a flute, and she knew that. His head was spinning with anticipation, crazy to have her on top, taking him until a rich repertoire of obscenities came out of his mouth.

Weariness gave way to the excitement of having each other, and they soon retired to their room.

As quickly as they crossed the threshold of the door, Petra let go of her hair and sat on the bed. Her upbeat rhythm opposed Levi's, who approached slowlier, but she dragged him by the collar down to the mattress as soon as he reached.

The room was dark, barely lit by the moonlight that came from the saloon. They kissed slowly as he undressed her, laying kisses on each new piece of revealed skin. Her panting seemed to slow down with his touch as if he soothed her. Once she was fully naked, they changed places. Levi couldn't keep his hands to himself as the ethereal woman ripped his clothes off of him.

"Come here…" He whispered softly, kissing her shoulders while accommodating her on top. "What do you want to do?" He rested his chin between her breasts. Her face lit up in a delicate expression of excitement. Silently, she placed her hands over his shoulders, making him lay his full back on the bed.

"I want to hold you hostage for as long as I live."

He shivered at the way her hands went down his torso, letting his mind go wild. His steel-like eyes shined bright as he took her hand on his to kiss it, "then I am all yours."

She leaned forward with a smile and licked his lips sensually before kissing him more. His hands grabbed her butt as she tortured him with her hips. Levi moaned in bliss, opening his mouth to catch a nipple. The force with which he sucked them paralyzed her body, dragging it towards him. He continued to move from one breast to another, leaving her breathless.

Levi slid his mouth all the way down until he was lying again on the bed. "Bring it here," he invited her with one hand, pleasing himself with the other. His voice was shaky from his own touch.

Petra grabbed his wrist, taking his hand off his length. She then placed her hips on top of his head and leaned forward to suck him. The playful woman let out a mischievous laugh at the taste of his precum. He wasn't going to last long. At the same time, he buried his tongue on her, barely able to keep going as she started going faster.

"You can do better," she moaned, slowing down to let him work on her.

Despite his fondness for cleaning, Levi enjoyed giving head. He moved his head on her to help his rhythm, sucking her slightly on the right spot. Petra looked back on him, growling hungrily at his effort. Every time she opened her mouth, he rewarded her with a loud spank on her ass. Her greedy tone changed to cries of bliss as he let her fuck his face in desperation. He didn't stop until she chanted his name all the way into climax.

Once Petra got off him, he took a deep breath, his face burning from her heat. "I expected your face to be a little more reddish," she teased.

"And I expected for you to finish your job," he smiled at her, brushing off the sweaty strands of hair off his forehead.

Barely after catching her breath, she placed herself on top of him again. "I prefer it this way today." With a graceful gesture, she slid his member inside of her.

Petra rested her hands over his chest as she triumphantly rode him. Levi's hands squished her breasts for a moment before putting them back on her hips. Shortly after, he grew too needy to settle with her pace and started fucking her harder from underneath her.

She moaned loudly, collapsing over him as he took control. Having her close, he took the chance to bite her neck as he went on. Levi moaned deeply against her ear, telling her how good she felt and praising her until her eyes went blank. Without letting go of her torso, he came inside her, rocking himself vehemently against her core.

They remained on that same posture, relaxing in the inhospitable temperature of their skins.

Chapter 19: Her choice

Summary:

- Eren tilted his head towards her once again. "I want you to betray the Survey Corps." -

Notes:

Finally, here's the beginning of the final arc! I want to thank you for your patience. I've been on a trip during the past weeks and I haven't had enough time to finish the chapters. I had planned to speed write them, but I wasn't happy with the result and decided to redo them. This fic is special to me, and I want to give it a proper ending. I also want to thank everyone who reached me asking for an update. It means a lot! I promise to be more consistent from now on. ❤️😭

This chapter wasn't beta read, so please let me know of any mistakes you might find.

Chapter Text

Six months after their reunion with Zeke, peace became routine once again, and for the first time in years, they had a grasp of what an average life felt like. They spent their days in their tiny kitchen, chatting and drinking tea. Each morning, Levi took from his savings and bought five different newspapers. He always came back with something to share, be it some pastries or some bread. After that, they spent the hours in silence, reviewing and comparing the different versions of the events that came to them through the press. Azumabito provided for everything they needed, although they made sure to facilitate routines that could pass for everyday jobs not to raise suspicions.

The captain spent the afternoons at the family mansion as he helped Hange with the plans for their next move. They hadn't fought in years, which was quite concerning. It was challenging with such a small number of soldiers to think of any plan, even more so without knowing Eren's whereabouts. The training was to continue in secret in the gardens of the mansion or within the modest walls of their apartments. Without a doubt, they would have to rely upon the surprise factor to save the day.

During those quiet times, the thought of their imminent attack became a grim shadow in the back of their minds. Now they worked with theory, strategy, and bureaucracy rather than going out onto the battlefield. Before Marley, the Survey Corps had prided itself on their bravery, learning the implicit suffering of battle firsthand. However, now they were hiding in the shadows, plotting with the cold precision of one who has not witnessed the consequences of their actions.

They were learning what the war against humans was like.

Sooner than later, the news arrived at the capital; the war with the Mid-East was over, and they were now running out of time.

There was an even worse feeling living in the soon-to-be attacked city. What fault did these people have? They couldn't help but wonder what would be of that baker who attended them so kindly or the illiterate older man on the second floor, to whom Petra read the letters that came to him.

Being two-faced wasn't as easy as it seemed. They could either lie to themselves or isolate behind a thick coat of numbness, as Levi always did. But, surprisingly, he was the least changed of them all during that time. Maybe because he was used to guiltiness, or just like a stone in a river, he had no more edges to erode.

That night he came home to find Petra sitting with her training shorts on. Her cheeks were rosy, flushed by the pumping of her blood after the exercise. He always found her impossibly cute in that state, despite the sweat and dirty, messy hair.

"How was it?" He asked, hanging his jacket.

"Good," she greeted him, taking a sip of water, "disappointing."

"How long did you last?"

"Six hours and a half," she said without raising her gaze. It hurt her pride. They might be a solidified couple now, but she couldn't forget that he was her captain once. Petra had always looked up to Levi in many ways, despite not trying to become his carbon copy as Oluo did. Back then, she trained up to twelve hours a day, breaking records among her peers. After that, she would meet his satisfied eyes, have a shower, and rush to fetch the kettle in hopes of talking with him a little longer. During those days, she felt amazingly optimistic and capable despite the crudeness of their work. That memory was undoubtedly the reason why it sucked for her to let Levi see her like this.

"If it makes you feel better, I don't think the rest are doing any better, aside from Sabah, Mikasa, and…"

"You," she replied with a soft chuckle.

"I was going to say Edith. She has kept her score quite impressively," he continued raising his eyebrow a bit.

"Oh," she said, still unable to look at him. "Is she still bitter about the fact that I split her position with Hugo?"

"I don't think so," he examined her as he took a sip of her glass too. "Do you think your abilities are worsening?" Levi finally tried to confront her thoughts.

"I don't 'think' they are. It's a fact. My core resistance fucking sucks," she spoke bitterly.

Levi just blinked, completely understanding of her increasingly more common outbursts of frustration. Her body was giving up when she felt she needed it the most. Luckily, his personality was shitty enough to know not to take it personally.

Unfortunately, she was a little bit like him at times.

"I'm sorry," Petra squished her eyes, unable to get rid of her denial through a more demanding training that her body couldn't afford anymore. "I'm just uneasy. Ever since we stopped testing my titan, I can't know for certain how slowly-"

"I know-," he cut her, instantly regretting it. She was just trying to get it off her chest, but he didn't want to listen. "I'm thinking about it too," his voice softened.

The woman grabbed her towel to clean the sweat off her face. "I was speaking as a soldier. I don't know how this is going to affect my performance on zero-day-"

"Petra-," he shut her up again with horrified eyes. She was on the verge of snapping when his expression let her know something was off. It was only then when she paid attention to the tingling sensation that ran down her nose to her upper lip. Her hand brought the towel to her face again, swallowing hard once she saw the red stain spreading on the white fabric.

A sensation of irreality flooded her chest, her mind, not even realizing when Levi got up from his seat to kneel in front of her. Time stopped for a few seconds before she felt his hand on her knee. "I'm okay," her voice shook a bit. "This can happen. I'm just stressed."

"You look the same," he spoke softly.

"Wh- What do you mean?"

"This is where you bled when I found you," he cleaned her with his fingers softly as a tear ran down his face.

During the next few days, Levi went back to his old sleeping habits. Sometimes, she would wake up in the middle of the night to find him dragging a chair into their bedroom. He would spend hours looking at her sleep to make sure she kept breathing. Other times, he fell asleep to his nightmares again, often awakened by a sweet kiss of hers. Then, on the fifth night, Levi finally managed to sleep in their bed again, giving into the sense of safety her presence brought to him.

As the sun rose, so did he. The air was cold, and he took a moment to enjoy the last shadows of the night. Petra slept peacefully next to him, dressed in one of his old shirts. Levi made sure not to move much, for she had developed a sixth sense while living together. His wife seemed to know whenever he woke up just by listening to his breathing. No matter what the circumstance was, she always followed him.

Already sensing his gaze over her, the tiny woman opened her amber eyes. "Mmgh," she protested, turning to the other side. Levi found that little power of her endearing but still felt terrible for not letting her sleep more.

He watched as she accommodated herself into the pillow. She was gorgeous even from behind: in the way, her strawberry-blonde hair tangled behind her and how her tiny shoulders dropped over her chest. Levi reached out a hand to her, wanting to play with the fiery locks. But, before he could touch her, she hummed again, sensing his movement.

He smiled at the cute noise that came out of her lips and approached to kiss the exposed skin of her nape. She sighed at the tender and wet sensation, melting into the mattress. His hair caressed her as he proceeded to kiss her face and shoulders leisurely. Then, without opening her eyes, she reached for his face. Levi pressed his forehead to her, letting his hands caress the silky skin underneath her shirt.

Sleepless under his affection, Petra curved her back, brushing her generous curves against him. He caressed her face, denying her the kiss she was seeking. His eyes went down her neck as he unbuttoned the makeshift pajamas. God. He never got tired of her glorious figure.

"You're insanely beautiful."

His words came as a surprise to her, not used to such a level of praise. She opened her eyes a bit, curious to see how he looked after saying such things. He finally leaned down to kiss her deeply. His tongue danced inside her mouth, toying with her pleasure as she trapped him in a tight hug.

"You're sweet…" She whispered to his lips, smiling.

"You are always saying the same," he kissed her back.

"Because it's true. You're lovely."

"You're a mess."

Petra smiled to herself as they continued to hug and kiss lazily on their bed. She loved him so much it made her fretful. No matter how much sex they had or how many kisses they gave each other, there was this idea of him inside her head making her crazy all of the time. Every time they touched, she just wished it was possible to pour it all on him, make him understand how much he meant. With these thoughts in her head, she started sobbing to his shoulder.

Levi quickly pulled away from her, worried that he had hurt her with his stupid ass mouth. "Damn, I didn't mean it like that," he tried to comfort her uselessly. Petra chuckled at his words. There he was, as oblivious as always, making her cry harder. "Fuck, what is it!?" He asked, anxious.

"I'm stupid. It's nothing," Petra dried her tears.

"No, you're not. I made you feel that way. I do take you seriously."

"I know! It's just that… Sometimes I wished you could see yourself the way I do. No matter what I do, you will never know how it feels to love you. If only you could be inside of me for a moment and have an idea of how it is. To me, you're sweet and the most honest man I've ever met. I just wished you could see that in yourself too."

He stared down into her teary eyes, completely overwhelmed. It took all the strength inside him not to try to dilute her words. To tell her she was being dramatic wasn't an option now. "I can't believe you keep idealizing me after all this time. I'm not honest, I lie all of the time, and certainly, I'm not sweet. I always thought that sooner or later, I would let you down. How can you see me this way after knowing me this much?"

The ginger woman cupped his face lovingly, giving him soft strokes with her thumbs. "Because I love you. I can see what's behind your shell and whatever behavior you adopted to survive. I would never let you feel like there's no good in you."

Levi sighed, resting his head on her shoulder. "Shit," he let out in frustration. "What am I going to do once you're gone?"

She kissed his head, "I'm not going anywhere. I promise you."

Petra caressed his hair until she felt his breathing change. "Is he asleep?" She wondered to herself in amusement. The birds sang outside their window as she kept on thinking. It was clear to her now.

She was going to make it out.

Eventually, they got up from their bed, had breakfast, and left for their daily routines. They went down the stairs of their building, parting ways with a sweet kiss before going out. Levi headed for the city center to get some news while she decided to go to the market. That day she decided to wear a dull outfit that didn't make her stand out much, so she was surprised when she seemed to attract the attention of a little blonde boy.

At first, she didn't think much of it. He was standing close to their portal when they came out, but now he seemed to be following her. It only took her a discreet look to see the badge on his arm. What could that Eldian boy want from her? He kept his distance and seemed more nervous than anything else.

After a while, she decided to cross the street and approach him to watch his reaction. His face became red with shame, and he stared down until the ginger woman was standing in front of him.

"Excuse me, young man. Have you not been taught that following a woman down the street is quite rude?" She asked sweetly, clearly seeing that he had no ill intent.

"Ugh- Yes, sorry. Are you Petra?" He asked politely with big shiny eyes.

The woman tilted her head, startled with surprise. "I might be! How come you know where I live?"

The kid looked at both sides of the street and signaled her to bend down so he could whisper to her ear. "I am friends with Kruger. He asked me to deliver you a letter. He says your husband has quite a… temperament, so I should deliver it in hand. That's why he gave me your address. I hope I didn't bother you."

The air got stuck in her lungs, and Petra opened her eyes in understatement. There was only one person who could know where they lived and from whom she still expected a letter. But, of course, his choice of name gave him away as well.

Eren had finally reached to her.

She smiled politely at the boy as he clumsily took a white envelope from his pocket. "This is for you, miss. I hope you have a nice day."

"Thank you ugh-"

"Falco Grice, miss. But I would appreciate it if you kept this to yourself," he spoke shily.

"Of course! Have a nice day, Falco," and with a big smile, the boy ran away from where he came.

Petra put the letter inside her purse and walked again inside her building. She closed the door behind her and climbed a couple of stairs before sitting in them. Her heart was pounding in her ears. It was finally happening. Joy and fear mixed inside her as she eagerly unfolded the content of the envelope.

"1 pm, Orange Garden Community Hospital"

She let out a raspy grunt, dying from the tension. Petra climbed down the stairs one more and walked to the central place to see the clock tower. She arrived there in less than ten minutes, almost breathless from her nerves and fast pace. "Shit," they were half-past twelve. Without losing a single second, the woman took out a handkerchief from her pocket to clean the drops of sweat running down her forehead before approaching a lady that passed by.

"Excuse me, do you know where I can find the Orange Garden Community Hospital?"

The woman gave her a concerned look that very much screamed, "why would you want to go there?" before giving her some vague directions.

Petra speeded down the avenues, which seemed even longer as she ran out of time. She didn't want to attract more looks by shamelessly running down the streets, but God did she wish to run! Her feet almost floated over the stone floor as she tried to maintain her composure. "This bloody kid," she mentally complained, "he disappears without an explanation and now makes me run like this."

Little by little, the main streets were left behind, and the size of the buildings decreased until she was practically outside the city. Petra looked around in frustration. There wasn't anything there. What if she had misunderstood the directions? She couldn't lose this chance.

She panted wearily. There was only one structure that resembled a hospital. The old grey walls showcased rows of dark windows, giving off an air of sadness and decay. No matter how different the architecture was between Paradis and Marley, she could smell death from afar. Petra's feet stomped down the path, carried away by gravity.

Her eyes scanned the place. "Maybe I should go around it?" There was a little square in front of the entrance. A couple of doctors accompanied an old man, and by his behavior she soon realized it wasn't a center for the physically wounded…

The young woman was completely distracted by the poor man's cries. What could've happened to him?

"That's why the windows are tainted," a familiar voice spoke from a nearby bench. Her head turned fastly in its direction. There was a man sitting, his presence so small she didn't even realize he was there until now. "So we can't see what happens inside… What war does to the human mind," he continued.

Petra approached him slowly, trying to get a better glimpse of the scruffy figure behind her. As she got closer, she realized that he was missing a leg. However, he was speaking in vain. This sight was anything but new to her. After many years in the army she had seen much worse. It was irritating for him to mansplain the consequences of a battle to someone who had much more experience than him. After all, Petra was already a respected veteran when he enlisted.

"Is this where you've been?" She whispered to herself.

The dusty green of his eyes fixated on her. Eren looked like he had just come back from hell. Seconds of silence followed.

Petra brought her hands inside her pockets. She was aware he had become more distant, but his sole presence was making her uneasy now. There was so little of him left inside that shell. She wondered if that was a secondary effect of carrying the power of a titan for so long. Maybe it consumed the humanity out of you until it drained your life to its end.

"You made me come here… I've decided to trust you," her voice shook, "could you at least try to talk to me now?"

"Sit."

The redhead sighed deeply, trying to get her anger out of her lungs. Her shortcomings were becoming more common by the day. Her time was running out with her patience, and she hated to think that Eren wanted to use her somehow. With a quick gesture, she fixed her skirt before sitting next to him.

"Look," she started again, "I need to know what's going on. I won't let you prey on my fear any longer. I've come to terms with the fact that I might die, and if it's the best for us, then I will. But if you're planning on betraying us then I don't want anything to do with this."

She had given up on hoping to get an emotion out of him, but was surprised to notice a hint of pain on his face. "I'm doing this for them," he spoke lifelessly.

"You're doing what? So far you have abandoned us, hidden information, lied, and even traveled in time, I guess. What are you?" Petra tried to hold a painful chuckle at her last question. "I need to know what I'm dying for. I'm so confused. I don't even want to judge you anymore- I want to know what the fuck is going on."

She desperately clung into his eyes, trying to get inside him one last time. "You might've been right," she broke, "maybe I should've trusted you back then. Perhaps we could've survived." Petra tried to hold back her tears as she looked away from the unrecognizable boy.

"No," he replied. "They would've died anyway. Maybe not right then, but later. I've walked upon many possibilities, but saving them wasn't worth it."

"How dare you even say that-"

"But I can save you," he interrupted her, maintaining a monotonous tone.

"And why is saving me worth it? How am I any different?"

"You're not different, just lucky. I won't be able to do the same for everyone else. I will commit horrible crimes in order to end with this endless circle of hate, but I still can do this for you. Maybe I'm the one who feels guilty, after all."

Petra tightened her fists over her skirt. "Tell me. What do you want from me?"

Eren tilted his head towards her once again. "I want you to betray the Survey Corps."

The woman opened her eyes in a scandalized expression. "How?" She asked dryly after a second.

"You can't tell Levi, nor anyone else. I need you to lie. I've sent a letter to Hange explaining how we're going to proceed with our plan. The commander will deem me a traitor, and they will order for you to eat me. I need you to accept."

Her breath hitched with nervousness. If they had received Eren's news that meant Levi must have been looking for her.

"And what's next?"

Dusk was painting the sky in reddish tones when Petra finally returned to the center of the city. She didn't know for how long she had been wandering around, although she could have sworn that her conversation with Eren took an eternity.

Her head hurt, and her eyes were swollen from crying. "What the fuck am I going to do?" The woman lamented bringing a hand to her head. She couldn't remember if she had brought a hat or not. As if something like that mattered now.

Petra paced down the main place without even glancing at the clock tower. Reality had deluded around her, and time was the last of her concerns.

"I can't save them."

"What the fuck are you doing here!?" Someone shook her by her arm. The petite woman staggered at the rude gesture. "I've been looking for you for hours. Fuck. I almost lost my mind. Where were you?"

Her amber eyes slowly distinguished Levi's face between the blurriness of her mind. She blinked, trying to sober up.

"You stink of alcohol. What the fuck, Petra?" He looked angry, yet worried. "What happened?"

"I'm sorry-," she started slowly. "I couldn't come back. I didn't want you to find me," the woman looked around, trying to orientate herself.

Her words hurt him. "What are you saying now? You know how worried I've been, thinking that Eren or Zeke could've done something to you? Since when are you so reckless!?"

"I'm okay. I've seen Eren. He put me up to date with the plans."

Levi tried to read into her expression, something was wrong. He rapidly grabbed and led her back to their apartment so they could discuss the matter privately.

"What did he tell you?" He inquired.

"He told me that he sent you a letter."

"And how did you find him?"

Shit. She was speaking way too much. "Because he sent me another, so we could discuss the plans face to face."

Levi frowned and leaned over the table she sat in, "bullshit."

Petra avoided looking into his eyes. This wasn't a situation she wanted to get herself into. "You knew I was expecting it."

"And I also know his agenda with you it's not the same. What did he ask you to do?" His tone deepened, letting her know this was going down.

"He told me to follow his plan."

Levi's eyes conveyed an expression she hadn't seen before. "And what's that plan? Hange is willing to let you eat him. Whatever he asked you to do, you don't need to do it anymore."

She tried to keep her cool. Petra had never lied to him before, not like this. "He-, I will hear from him again."

"You're lying to me."

His words made her stomach giddy. "Levi, I can't."

The man in front of her turned around, visibly frustrated. With each gesture, she watched him stray further away from her. Petra had worked so hard to gain his trust… This wasn't something they could easily recover from.

"You said you didn't want me to find you," he continued, "what do you want me to think? That you got drunk and tried to run away from me because he told you the same plan? You chose him."

Petra shook her head slightly, "what? No. I'm doing this for us."

"Then why the fuck can't you tell me the truth?"

She could barely breathe from the pressure on her chest. "I promise I'm on your side. You will understand everything eventually."

"Why can't I understand now? What's so important that you can't trust me anymore?" Levi felt incredibly pissed. He felt like he was being abandoned again, and that Eren was finally taking her away from his side once more. The Captain felt as if his life had been an endless loop of betrayal and dejection. This had happened to him so many times. Why was he surprised?

His eyes wandered the room as his stubborn mind engulfed his perception. Deep down, Levi knew he could trust her, it was just that he felt utterly useless. Petra was alone with Eren again, her fate depending on whatever decision that monster kid had made.

"Levi," her hands cupped his face, bringing his attention back to her. "I followed you into the 57th expedition despite not knowing Erwin's plan. Now the rules have changed. You will have to follow Eren without fully knowing what's going on, and I need you to trust me. No matter what, I promise I will never desert you."

His eyes met hers one last time. She seemed to be finally speaking from sobriety. He grabbed her hand, giving it a soft kiss. There wasn't a choice without regret whenever it came to losing her. He won't spend their last days away from her. He would rather be betrayed one hundred times if it meant keeping her a day longer.

Levi wouldn't tell Hange about Petra's reunion with Eren, and he would wait for her choice to be the right one.

Chapter 20: Dead before dawn

Summary:

"They say you don't become a full member of the Survey Corps until you come back from your first mission, and the same applies to its leaders. You don't become a squad leader until you have to carry the weight of your fallen friends for the first time."

Notes:

Hello readers, and welcome to the "last sweet bonding chapter before I end these characters' careers." I highly recommend you to listen to "I was all over her" by Salvia Palth to get the full experience. Their 'melanchole' album helped me set the mood while writing this. Also shout-out to heybeybey for beta reading this one.

I hope you enjoy it!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The cup chinked against the plate, making them sigh in relief. They had been expecting for something to break the silence in the room for a while now. Everyone's eyes had followed the Commander's hand the whole way through, hoping for the brief sound of the porcelain to finally initiate a conversation.

The soldiers knew that their expression didn't mean good news. In normal circumstances, their superiors wouldn't hesitate to give orders, but when their faces looked like an apology before saying a word, it was an undeniable signal that something was about to go down.

"Hange…" The Captain spoke after a while, making them tense up again. Petra's squad stood around the Commander's sofa in one of the many rooms of Azumabito's mansion. They had been requested to come alone and without informing any of the soldiers about the reunion. Lieutenant Ral was perfectly aware her subordinates weren't fond of this type of interventions, but she suspected they saw it coming from the moment Eren's letter arrived.

Her amber eyes looked at Nathaniel. He was standing next to Levi with his hands inside his pockets, just as her husband did. His blue gaze was fixated on the floor, and his brow tensed in a constipated expression of worrisome. She saw the way he momentarily raised his eyes to look at Evelyn, whose nervous breathing had been echoing through the room like white noise. The girl seemed to be aware of this, for her painful intents of balancing it out made it even more irregular.

Seeing this, Nathaniel reached for her sleeve in a delicate attempt to bring her back from her thoughts. The brunette gasped softly at his contact, and their eyes met for a second before she thanked him with a smile.

Without losing a glimpse of them, Petra squeezed the flesh of her crossed arms. "Please, don't," she warned them mentally, afraid that soon they might be separated forever. Evelyn seemed to blush momentarily before she finally managed to breathe deeply again. Their squad leader didn't remember them being this close. "You're projecting, Petra. Let them do. As if you were any different."

Their attentions came back to Hange, who was now standing in front of them. "I guess by your faces that you've already guessed why I brought you here today," they started.

Petra advanced towards the Commander, exemplifying the composure she expects from her soldiers as well. "This is about Eren. Isn't it?"

"I'm afraid it is," they sighed. "I don't believe we can trust him anymore. He abandoned us and now asks for our help in this- massacre… There's no way we can win this battle without him, so we're going to follow his plan. But after our main targets have been neutralized, Petra, you will face him."

The ginger didn't avert her eyes from the Commander's, but she could feel the nervousness arise in the room.

"Ral," they continued, "the first time I asked you to do this, you had your reservations. I hope you have finally changed your mind as well in the matter. Tell me, would you be able to kill Eren?"

"Wait!" Irina interrupted them without hesitation. "Lieutenant Ral has royal blood. How can we be sure she won't try to erase our memories?" The blonde inquired with grand gestures.

"We can't. That's why I'll assign Levi and Sabah to guard her and take her down in case she tries anything. As Ackermans, neither of them should be affected by her powers. Of course, we have Mikasa as well, but I'm not sure she would be up to participate in this after we kill Eren…"

"We're going to betray Eren without telling his squad-mates?" Hugo spoke from the edge of the room, visibly conflicted.

Hange took off their glasses and pinched the upper part of their nose bridge with two fingers. "I know- Okay? I know. But this is the best I can do. We will capture Eren and hope Petra is able to fight her blood."

"How does one fight their blood?" Irina's 'doctor self' spoke with a condescending tone.

"Silence!" Petra's stern voice made their spines straighten. "This conversation is between the Commander and me at the moment, so keep quiet."

Levi raised an eyebrow at her display of discipline, inevitably seeing himself written in her words. Apparently, some of her training with him remained with her.

"I will do it," the Lieutenant turned her head back to Hange. "I can't predict which effect the Founding Titan will have on me, but I'll do everything in my power to not lose myself."

"That's all I needed," Hange smiled at her before addressing her squad. "Guys, I understand your worries. My squad will be informed of this as well so they can support you during the battle. I get that you and the 104th had grown closer, and this might feel like a betrayal, but your role as soldiers must come first. Sabah, I hope I can trust you to keep Mikasa at bay. You and Edith are the only ones, other than Levi, capable of such a thing."

"No problem," they nodded with determined eyes.

As the weight of their mission fell slowly over their shoulders, Sonia handed the Commander an envelope. "Here are the details of the maneuver. I hope you are ready to come and train twice as much as your companions... Starting today, you will become the new Special Operations squad."

Petra and Levi winced, unable to forget the fate of the last squad who had held that title.

"Oh wow," Edith frowned, looking at the papers in front of them. "Not the type of promotion we're used to," she laughed.

"Indeed," Nathaniel said, "back inside the walls, a promotion is usually a synonym for 'safer,' not for 'we're going to expose you to certain death and if you fail then your whole race might perish,'" he tried to joke out his fear.

"It feels crazy to be taking this position despite not being that experienced fighting with titans, and much less when it comes to intelligent ones," Evelyn hugged herself, voicing what everybody was already thinking.

"Just another day for the Survey Corps!" Irina patted her friend's back.

It was past midnight in the outbuildings attached to the mansion. Hange couldn't tell the real reason why they needed to stay overnight, but nobody side-eyed them when they explained that the Petra squad's training required to be re-scheduled. During the following weeks, they would go over the main strategy with the rest, then continue alone for the night to practice the maneuvers with which they would defeat Eren.

Petra unzipped her neck a bit, trying to cool down her sweaty skin. The Lieutenant panted as she watched her squad perform the same movements over and over again.

Hugo and Edith moved in perfect synchronization, performing short movements with a razor-sharp precision that would allow them to move freely through the city facing both Titans and humans. The black leather of their uniforms shined bright as they sped across the high ceilings of the warehouse. They needed to perfect those movements as much as possible, for they would bring an inside conflict into enemy territory. The longer the battle dragged on, the fewer chances they would have of winning Eren.

The sound of their heels against a metal beam on the ceilings marked the end of their routine.

"Again!" Petra shouted at them for the fifth time this round, not even considering another option. Edith and Hugo looked at each other before jumping off again.

They moved so fast that the sound of their metal cables became infuriating to the rest of the soldiers who practiced hand-to-hand combat underneath. Sabah looked up in surprise when they passed over him. "Again?" Irina whispered as she tried to catch her distracted opponent without success.

"Yeah," they fought back, making the petite soldier fall easily again.

Meanwhile, Petra followed her flying subordinates across the floor. "Hugo, use your right shoulder! That's too slow!" She waved an arm up frenetically. "More to the right, more-!"

CLUNG.

They finished again. Edith brushed her wet hair away from her face, completely ready to receive more corrections as she tried to catch her breath. Hugo arrived a second later. It was pretty evident he was reaching his limit.

"Are you alright?" The green-eyed woman asked at her companion. The man could only nod in reply, way too exhausted to mutter a single word. "You're doing great," she comforted him by putting a hand on his shoulder. Soon, their Lieutenant was back on sight.

"Your core strength is fine, but the upper part of your body is not helping you at all. I know this equipment is different, but I need you to be more versatile. Hugo, your front tuck is too slow-"

Petra continued talking, barely realizing how miserable they seemed after that last round. The couple on the ceiling kept on listening as they clung to the last straw of their strengths. They had been repeating the same routine at nauseam, but their leader never seemed to be satisfied.

"Stop it," Levi called Petra from behind her back.

Her ginger ponytail swung as she fastly turned her body to face him. The captain stood in his training clothes four feet away from her. He had decided to stay and practice with them as well. After all, he had something to protect during the next battle as well. Something he couldn't trust even to his Ackerman blood.

"Excuse you?" Petra raised her brow in a cute expression of annoyance. Cute for Levi, of course. Her soldiers would've apologized at once to that face.

"You're overdoing it. They wouldn't be moving at this pace for this long during an actual battle. Let them breathe," he spoke softly, making sure it didn't look like he was giving orders to her.

"In a battle, they wouldn't hear my corrections neither. Plus, the stress of the situation always makes one's performance go down. Everything will depend on their muscle memory, so the more they practice, the better," she replied dryly. However, the man in front of her seemed to be more entertained by something below her face. Realizing this, she quickly zipped her uniform back. "You're something else," she scolded him.

Levi blinked, confused. He hadn't been aware of the way his eyes lingered on her. When did he become this relaxed in public? Nevertheless, it wasn't the moment to argue about that. "Petra, you don't want for them to get hurt before the battle. Please, let them go for today."

The Lieutenant sighed. She was doing it again. She was being reckless and stubborn. Levi never went soft on her subordinates. In all those years, she had never heard him say that someone was training 'way too much.' Maybe she really was overworking them. "Am I that strict?" She whispered, slightly embarrassed.

"No. You're just overworking them today," he crossed his arms.

Petra felt remorseful. She knew the reason why she was doing this. With a wave of her arm, the Lieutenant indicated her soldiers to rest. The couple gave a big sigh of relief and came down. Without losing their composure, they saluted their superiors before walking away.

"You're worried about Edith," Levi whispered to her once they turned their backs to them.

"How can't I be? I don't know how to save her..."

"You don't have any idea of what could've happened? What did you see exactly?"

"I already told you. I'm pretty sure it was this city, and its appearance fitted with what Eren has on mind for it… She was already dead when I saw her."

Levi looked at her, not wanting to lose whichever extra meaning her expressions might add to her words. Surprisingly, he found his passive self to be quite helpful with her mood swings lately. It felt good to know that he could aid her somehow.

"What would you have done?" Her eyes fixated on his. "If you had known me and the guys were going to die?"

Levi tensed at her question. He didn't know why she still had to open that wound over and over again, but he wasn't in her place to judge. "I would've kept trusting you," he found himself saying.

Her eyes shined bright as she tilted her head down a bit. He had seen that expression many times before. She was allowing herself to feel. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I haven't been myself lately. I've been talking to you poorly and asking stupid questions. You don't have to deal with this."

"I know. Nobody is forcing me to do anything. I promise."

Petra relaxed her shoulders a bit. "I never thought you would be the one handling me."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean- I always believed I was going to be the emotional support person."

"How am I supposed to take that?"

Petra laughed at his expression. "Don't worry. It's a good thing."

Meanwhile, the rest of the soldiers kept on practicing their fighting skills. Nathaniel and Evelyn were starting to get quite tired as well. Unlike Sabah and Irina, their levels were more even, so both of them had bitten the dust a few times already.

"Are those two already going on a break?" Evelyn asked once she saw that Edith and Hugo were heading towards the exit.

"Already?" Nathaniel laughed, "As if you would've survived that rhythm."

Immediately, Evelyn performed a quick and efficient kick on his ankle, making him fall to the ground.

"Auch!" He complained, quite amused by her skills. "Were you holding back?"

The triumphant girl brought her hands to her hips. "I fear you're wasting too much energy through your mouth."

The blonde boy chuckled as he stood up again. "This time, I won't be so gentle then," he replied, feeling his heart skip a bit at the cocky smile she gave him. He quickly tried to sweep her off her feet unsuccessfully, having to block her counterattack with his forearms. Already expecting this, he took the chance to grab her arm and immobilize her.

"Ah!-" A sudden cry of pain escaped her lips. Nathaniel was startled by it and let go of her immediately.

"Are you alright?" He kneeled next to her. "I- I didn't realize I was doing it so strongly."

The girl brought a hand to her right shoulder. "You didn't. It's just my shoulder… The new equipment relies heavily on our arms, and I think it's starting to take its toll on me." As she finished speaking, she finally looked at him. He seemed mad worried about it. "Don't make that face! It's not so bad, really."

"Yes, it is! Petra has been pressuring us a lot, but you've been working more than anyone else lately. You shouldn't do extra hours by yourself given the circumstances."

She blushed. "Wait. How do you know I've been training alone?"

"I- Irina told me."

"Bullshit."

"I swear!"

"I didn't tell her."

Nathaniel closed his eyes in defeat. "I… I might've been paying attention. But that doesn't invalidate my arguments."

Evelyn grunted. She appreciated his concern, but her stubbornness was far bigger. "We all should be pushing ourselves a little. Petra is worried about us, and, to be honest, I am too. I don't know if I'm ready for this."

The tall boy looked at her with big eyes. "Are you chickening out?"

"Wh- What!? It's not that."

"Then don't say such things," he grabbed her by the shoulders. "I would be right beside you. The Lieutenant put us together for a reason! I'm sure we can beat Eren's ass. I won't let anything happen to you."

The brunette gave a little start to his enthusiasm. "I guess so…"

Seeing the improvement in her mood, he kept on cheering her up. "That's it! We will come back together. You will go see your mother, and I will become the new hero of the Brzenski family! I'm sure they'll be happy to buy some of your jewelry-"

Evelyn kept on smiling as she listened to his ramblings. Perhaps her feelings weren't as misplaced as she initially thought. Apparently, some part of her must have realized there was something more about that flirtatious ashy boy.

The night started to get old as Petra walked through the gardens behind the main building. The squad had finally finished with their training, and she had sent them to the showers before going back home. The yellow lights that lit the streets were far from there, leaving the gardens in the gloom. She had already changed and was now pacing in her civilian clothes. The scent of the white roses planted in the arches of geometric bushes was fresh on her skin. Finally, she could relax for the first time in weeks.

Her muscles felt sore, but she seemed to keep up with the rest despite feeling somewhat weaker than before. The atmosphere was peaceful as the city slept, not knowing that soon its tranquillity would be torn apart. Petra took that moment to clear her thoughts. With a deep breath, she let herself enjoy the moment.

"Lovely, isn't it?" Someone spoke from behind her. The ginger woman tilted her head to greet Edith, who approached her with her hair still wet from the shower. The difference in their heights was a bit comical, not that they cared. Petra looked up to her subordinate, appreciating how handsome she looked in that state, dressed in a simple white shirt.

"It is… I wasn't expecting to find you here," the squad leader replied cordially.

"I know! I came here on purpose to interrupt your lonely, sad walk," the other laughed.

The ginger crossed her arms while trying to hide her expression a bit. "Do I give that vibe?"

"Yeah."

Petra chuckled at her brutal honesty. Edith hadn't any qualms when it came to stating her thoughts. "You did great today. I'm thrilled to have you on our team. I know I've been a little bit harsh lately-"

"Really? We hadn't noticed," her friend interrupted her jokingly, "we get it, but I'm the one who's actually worried about you."

Her statement came as a surprise for the Lieutenant. "Oh. You don't need to," she replied, seeing how Edith read bullshit on her words.

"Listen, Petra. I know we haven't talked much since you became our superior, but Hugo and I still consider you a friend. You used to vent with us when you had just been resurrected, but I haven't seen you express yourself like that ever since. You spend too much time with your husband!"

She blushed, "my what? How did you know-"

"What?" The other looked at her in confusion, "I was joking! Oh my god. Did you get married for real?"

Petra squished her eyes. Of course, she let that slip. "Yeah. Just don't tell anyone. It wasn't anything big. We just thought that…"

"It was because you're dying," the blonde replied empathically. "We always suspected you had a thing for him from our first talk together, but I didn't expect for you guys to get like this. I guess Levi is a romantic man."

The squad leader let out a loud howl. "Levi, romantic? Please. He was completely clueless of my feelings until my dad told him- after I died!"

"Girl. You need to give me a full report on this story. I don't think any of my fascicular dramas can match you two," Edith snorted.

"Please. You have no idea what I've been through…"

"Don't complain! It could be worse. Look at poor, sweet little Evelyn trapped with Nathaniel."

Both women laughed. It had been a while since Petra had relied upon a friend like this. Maybe Edith was right. She had been focusing on Levi for way too long because they were afraid of losing each other, but why hadn't she thought about her friends?

"Also… I'm sorry about being a bitch over the fact that you split my position with Hugo. That was quite a smart move. If I die, the squad will be able to rearrange more easily, but I don't know what makes you think I will die."

Those last words caught the petite woman off guard again. She knew Edith had been quite a figure in the Military Police, solving crimes left and right thanks to her impeccable reasoning. However, she didn't expect her to catch up on that too.

"I-"

For a moment, Petra thought that this was her chance to tell her the truth. She only needed that brief bonding moment to remember the way she had supported her after losing her first squad. Edith was strong. She deserved to know the truth. Why couldn't she tell her before? Unluckily, she was interrupted by the apparition of the rest of her squad behind the bushes.

"Lieutenant Petra!" Irina ran towards her happily. "Thanks for catching her for us, Edith."

The tall woman changed her demeanor quickly, "huh? You're welcome, babes!"

Their leader shook her head in confusion. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We bought you this," Sabah said, handing her a small box. "It's just a small detail to commemorate our four years as a squad."

They all looked excited as their superior opened the box with a surprised face. She had forgotten about it with all the training, but today was her promotion anniversary. "Guys…" Petra tried to push a wave of emotions down as she saw the beautiful brooch inside the black box, carved with the wings of freedom.

"The stone is natural! My mother craved it herself," Evelyn spoke proudly.

"The blue color will look gorgeous on you," Nathaniel started flirting before Hugo grabbed him by an ear.

The team rejoiced with pride as Petra couldn't take her eyes away from their gift. Her jaw clenched as she remembered herself picking Levi's favorite tea from town alongside her first teammates… She never imagined how it was to live this from a commander's side. Moreover, she never believed she would feel like again for any other squad. If only she could freeze the image right here. Or if only she could erase from her mind what Eren had told her…

Petra wished to believe they were going to stay.

"Is this how you've been feeling, my love?" Her thoughts wandered to Levi, who secretly looked at them from afar. He could guess what was going through her mind. They say you don't become a full member of the Survey Corps until you come back from your first mission, and the same applies to its leaders. You don't become a squad leader until you have to carry the weight of your fallen friends for the first time.

Levi could already envision her using that brooch with the same bittersweet feeling he used that teapot they had gifted him long ago. That could be their future together, sharing their burdens and carrying each other's sorrow until their bodies gave up. That would be if she finally survived. If not, he would be dragging all of this alone.

Finally, their journey had come full circle. He had faced his feelings, lived by her side, and even dared to bet on their hereafter. Levi had overcome his fear of abandonment by being given a second chance. He wouldn't have to stay up at night, wondering what could have been. Now, it was a matter of "for how long it will be." One week more, and he wouldn't have to dig up her grave anymore.

The crystals were so dirty she could barely distinguish anything beyond them, which luckily meant they weren't being seen either. The city shined in a kaleidoscope of colors during the festivities. A faint smell of caramel filled the air, and the laughter of children came and went with the voices that flooded the streets of Liberio. The pleasantness of its environment only made the vision more morbid in the eyes of Petra, who was spying on the crowd from an empty building next to the city center.

Soon, Willy Tybur will be coming up a stage, and the countdown will begin. Her fingers tightened a bun on her nape without losing sight of the silhouettes of the civilians promenading underneath them. She had been recreating this moment relentlessly on her mind, yet nothing could compare to the reality of being there.

Many people had come from abroad to see the festival. In their whole year living there, they had never seen the city so lively. Petra remembered the humble festivities held around the same time of the year in her father's village. Marley's feast stood like a giant beast compared to Paradis, and she took the chance to remind herself that the big wouldn't hesitate to crush the small.

"They're heading towards the stage," someone whispered behind her.

"It looks like they're quite interested in what that Tybur has to say," the voice of a cadet replied.

They were right. Aside from the big heads of the army and leaders of some other cities, many people seemed to be approaching the same spot. The closer the time came, the more the sound faded from the streets, allowing her to feel the beating of her heart inside her ears.

The public went silent, the lights went down, and the stage of Liberio was ready to enjoy the most gruesome spectacle it has ever seen. In the shadows, the Eldian's soldiers prepared themselves for their entrance. They adjusted their suits and held their weapons as if they were the atrezzo of their show.

The Lieutenant finally turned around to check on her team. They were all ready and waiting for orders. Their eyes shined bright with the fire of fear and determination. This night, her orders would be drawing the thin line between life and death. Her squad was relying on her.

"I want you to betray the Survey Corps."

Eren's words danced on the back of her mind, but she quickly pushed them even further. It wasn't the moment to repent. "Hugo and Edith, firsts in command from the 94th, and squad members from the 101st, it's been an honor to train with you for the past four years," she found herself saying. "This would be your first real mission as my squad. No matter what you see out there, stick with each other until the end, and don't break your formation."

"Yes, sir!"

The Lieutenant tightened her fists around her guns and took a final look at their faces. "Devote your hearts, kids."

With her lasts words, Petra's squad brought their fists to their chests, saluting their superior for the last time before the curtain went up.

"Take your positions!"

The soldiers ran upstairs at once, leaving her alone. Petra let out a shaky breath as the public roared in the center of the city. "Please, don't die."

"Go, now!" Levi ordered from the other side of the floor, making the 104th leave as well. Petra imagined them flying across the city in the darkness of the stalls. They had been so busy with the preparations that they had barely talked with each other. It certainly hadn't been the same since she had told him she couldn't share the truth with him.

His eyes found her. They were alone now.

The abandoned flat was utterly silent. Not even their breathings could be heard. The figure of the Captain was lit by the fluctuations in the light coming from the big stage in the city, but all she could do was stare at him in silence. Petra wondered if this was the last time he would see her like this. There's still a chance he wouldn't be able to forgive her after tonight. She had agreed to pay a high price for the possibility of a future together, one that will undoubtedly take its toll on their consciousness for the years to come.

"Don't die," his voice reached her like a cold breeze.

"Levi-," she started speaking before he left for the stairs. Petra ran after him, and they soon found each other at the entrance of the rooftop. "Wait!" She held his arm. The Captain looked at her with cold steel eyes. He was just as determined as she was. "If I don't make it out, you need to stop Eren."

His eyes grew big at her words. "If that bastard kills you, I promise you he will go down even if it's the last thing that I do." His heart ached. Levi still hadn't managed to kill Zeke and somehow found himself making more promises that would weigh him.

"Even if I don't die, or you decide not to trust me anymore. Please, be wary of Eren," her eyes begged him.

All of his senses lit up in red. Hadn't she asked him to trust the kid? Why was she backing down now?

"Why?"

An infernal bellow of rage made the floor tremble beneath them. The roar was such that regardless of the distance, it seemed to have occurred above them. The sound of shattered crystals and large concrete blocks crashing to the ground forced them to shrug their backs, intimidated by the thunderous blast. They had run out of time.

The couple rushed to the ceiling, and only then did they begin to distinguish the screams of pain and terror from the people underneath. On the horizon, the colossal figure of Eren's titan stood conquering Liberio's main square. The lights trembled under his body, almost as if they too might fear the way he raised his bloody fists in a rampage of violence. Petra ran to the edge of the building, putting herself in front of her squad. She had been there before. She remembered seeing that street and hearing the cries for help. "So this was the moment." She turned her head back towards her soldiers and delivered her first command.

"Follow him."

Notes:

Oh, yeah. The final battle is here. Also, congratulations if you spotted the meme. ;) Thank you for reading!

Chapter 21: Traitor

Summary:

"Eren had been saving that coin with which Marely had paid him years ago. He knew that innocents would die and that the world wasn't black and white but he just couldn't stop. At that moment, he was a monster whose only purpose was to continue going forward so he could give that sad, bloody penny back. A coin that would be tossed from one hand to another until one went out of strength. That was war to him, and so it shall be."

Notes:

So... This chapter was getting too long, so I decided to split it in two. The second part will be up asap. I literally DIED, writing this. Action scenes are proving to be quite challenging. I hope you enjoy (and suffer).

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"We all differ in identity and ethnicity, but now that we're forced to face this gigantic enemy, the time has come for us to join our forces."

Those were Willy Tibur's last words before the ground collapsed beneath his feet. Little could he have known that his speech fit Eren's plan like a glove. As if he were a marionette, Tybur recited what the young Eldian had in mind before the very hand that pulled his strings tore him to shreds before the eyes of the entire city.

Eren was aware that was very close to bringing them together. That night, not even his allies would decide to stand by his side. He was almost completely sure they would follow him, at least he knew Petra had agreed to do so between tears and hesitant words. Hange probably advised them to proceed with his plan until their enemies were out of the scene. That way, the battle between them would be fast and clean. The boy convinced himself he had nothing to fear. He doubted Petra had changed her mind, but if by any means she had, he could still rely on that ace up his sleeve…

That's right. Eren had not left a single rope untied. Unless things got incredibly out of hand, the only life in danger was Petra's if she tried to change the course of things.

He felt the pressure on his muscles as his body broke the joints of hundreds of bricks destroying the residential complex behind the stage. In his twisted mind, it felt like freedom. That was for him not only the beginning of Eldia's counterattack but the most direct form of expression, the only valid one at this point. Marley reunited its governors, heads of the army, and voices from the press in one exact point, allowing him to dig a hole in what could be described as the navel of their world. That fortress of power in which Marley had been supported was now collapsing in the same way that the walls of Paradís fell years ago.

Eren had been saving that coin with which Marely had paid him years ago. He knew that innocents would die and that the world wasn't black and white but he just couldn't stop. At that moment, he was a monster whose only purpose was to continue going forward so he could give that sad, bloody penny back. A coin that would be tossed from one hand to another until one went out of strength. That was war to him, and so it shall be.

Shortly after his thunderous apparition, the squad leaders gave the order to advance. The Corps was divided into different groups that spread uniformly across the city center, attacking all the military bases at sight. The Special Operation squad led the ambush, being the chosen ones to fight at ground zero alongside some reinforcements also led by Lieutenant Ral.

The soldiers fled over the rooftops, completely ignored by the citizens who tried to flee from Eren's rage. The screams and cries grew louder as they got closer, but they couldn't bother to look down now.

Petra tilted her head back momentarily to check on her team's expressions. This the moment of truth. No matter how big their egos were or how much they trained, now was the time where their true colors would shine or fade. To her relief, she only found determined faces and fiery eyes. Deep inside, they all were thinking the same. As much as they were all guilty for participating in this, their squad would be the one bringing Eren to his demise. All the pain and grief they heard running underneath only contributed to kindle their spirits more. They couldn't wait to end with that monster and pass the Founding to the one they trusted, Petra. However, their leader had other plans in mind.

"Split!" The ginger shouted, directing them to their positions.

After her squad left, she let out a big sigh of relief. Wherever they had to go first was safer than where she was heading all alone now. It was dangerous for her to approach Eren like that, but they needed to clear the path before anything else. After all, Marley was their main target now.

Something on her stomach clenched as she saw the way Eren's titan repeatedly punched the stands beside the square. The blows were so strong that they rumbled in her chest, and her instincts begged her to go away despite her duty. As the Lieutenant passed next to him, she couldn't help looking down at the crushed bodies underneath the wooden beams of the stage. Their lifeless faces made her mouth go dry, and the way the blood leaked out of their noses sent a cold wave down her limbs in a sensation she wouldn't be able to describe.

It wasn't the first time she had witnessed a titan behaving like that. That cold cruelty that distinguished the intelligent titans, she had seen it with the Female one back then.

She knew how it… felt.

Petra was already hiding behind the ruins of the building when she suddenly felt the urge to throw up. She kneeled before a concrete block, unable to make sense out of the situation. The s taste of her own bile made her even sicker. "Why now?" The ginger bent her back forward, trying to make herself smaller as Eren kept on going. Then, it suddenly hit her. She had been smashed like that too.

The tiny woman spat out as she brought her hands to her head, begging for the dreading sound of his fists against the concrete to stop. "Am I that nervous about this? How didn't I even realize before?" Her breath trembled. She hadn't been so terrified in a mission since her first one. But, in all fairness, she had been quite uneasy since her resurrection anyway. "You can't doubt now. Don't think." Her eyes fixated on the mountain of rubble next to her. How many people were suffocating underneath?

A sensation of irreality flooded her as she swore something plummeted inside her chest. She needed to focus before her nerves paralyzed her any further. Suddenly, an unexpected explosion underneath the stage catapulted her body backward. In the span of a second, Petra regained her senses, anchoring herself to the ground with her wires before the shock wave sent her any further. The blinding light barely let her distinguish the giant body that grew like a geyser in front of her. Taller than any building around, the strange titan barely had time to finish creating itself before taking a hit from Eren.

"Fuck!" Petra muttered as she fastly repositioned herself trying to not get caught underneath them. During the maneuver, she caught a glimpse of the platform on which the Marleyan soldiers stood, looking with terror-stricken expressions at the combat in front of them. One of them pointed at Eren with his rifle and shot. The woman could not have known that the soldier in question was none other than General Theo Magath. However, she caught the meaning of that gesture instantly: Marley's counterattack had begun.

Petra rested her back against a concrete block as she spied them over her shoulder. Without even noticing it, her nerves had faded almost completely, and her mind was entirely focused on the fight at hand. Her body was abruptly startled by another explosive sound. Out of nowhere, the Hammer titan created a huge white column, throwing Eren into the air. Her amber eyes felt dry as she found herself unable to blink at the alarming display of powers. "Keep going, kid," Petra whispered. The more Eren got it to show its abilities, the more prepared she would be.

The titan stood proudly, now covered by a white armor that embraced its body as if it were skin. Out of nowhere, a giant hammer was materialized on its hand, ramming against the Founding with a visceral scream. Eren tried to dodge the attack, but his feet were impaled by spikes of the same nature. Seeing this, the Marleyan soldiers took the chance to start firing him with heavy artillery, leaving him trapped by both flanks. The monster boy tried to protect his neck with both hands, but the hammer's blow ripped off his arms and head instantly.

Adrenaline ran through Petra's veins as she watched. At this point, her body almost begged her to jump on stage. She knew the soldiers wouldn't kill him, for losing the Founding titan would only turn out to be much more problematic. With a big breath, the Lieutenant craned her wrists and neck. Her confidence might've been diminished after her first death, but she knew much better now. This time, no shifter would fool her again.

Helpless and mangled, Eren's human form emerged from the mass of flesh of his titan's lacerated neck. With a graceful demeanor, the Hammer raised its weapon, ready to deliver the coup de grace.

"U͎s͎u͎r͎p͎e͎r͎ ͎E͎r͎e͎n͎ ͎Y͎a͎e͎g͎e͎r͎,͎ ͎a͎n͎y͎ ͎l͎a͎s͎t͎ ͎w͎o͎r͎d͎s͎?͎" The titan's metallic voice vibrated like the last breath of air escaping from a great shipwreck.

The bearer of the Founding didn't hesitate. Without blinking at the Hammer's menace, he just stood and said, "do it now, Petra."

As if it were able to read his lips, the white monster seemed to perceive the danger, but it was too late. Petra rushed towards its body with incredible speed, launching thunder spears on its heels and articulations in an upwards spiral. Before the titan could react, the soldier was flying over its head, and the wires that triggered the explosion were set loose.

"What is going on!?" One of the soldiers shouted from the platform as the rest tried to protect their faces from the heat of the explosion. The sound of screeching wires cut the air as Hugo and Edith jumped over their stand. "Careful!" The Eldian soldiers shot at them with their guns and thunder spears, neutralizing the Marleyan base quickly.

Petra stared contentedly at the great blast of fire below her as the War Hammer fell to the ground. It had been so easy… Too easy indeed. The last time, when they thought they had caught Annie it turned out to be fatal, so she decided to step away instead. With a fluent movement, the ginger landed next to Eren. Her titan powers came with a time limit, so it was better not to shift before time.

"So you've all come," he said.

"Yes," the Lieutenant replied drily, unable to look at him. "Eren… Do you have any idea of what you've done?" She asked after a pause, unable to stand the silence between them.

"You knew what you were getting into," the boy replied. "Have you changed your mind?"

Her fists tightened. It was true. Eren had told her everything with such precision that the images wouldn't leave her mind her mind for weeks. But, as always, seeing it live was much worse. "Why would I tell you right now? That would only make me more vulnerable. Don't you think?"

His stare pierced her. Maybe he should've chosen Mikasa for this instead. Petra didn't seem like she wanted to make things easy for him. "This isn't over yet," he spoke, looking at the Hammer titan which started to incorporate itself again.

"No need to tell me. It's almost as if I've been here before."

The rest of the squads moved swiftly across the city. The chain of command of the Marleyan army had been broken, and Eren's presence was more than enough to deconcentrate them. At that time, the troops were surrounding the city in hopes to capture the Founding titan. However, this made things easier for the Corps, since they would only have to wait for that line to form to destroy it in a quick series of ambushes.

The streets glowed red as the downtown burned. The roads seemed already empty of citizens fleeing, and only the opposing army remained.

"To the left!" Sabah shouted to the cadets. Only Hugo and Edith had arrived at the zero zone, and Petra's soldiers needed to hurry if they wanted to make it on time to fight Eren Yaeger.

The young Ackerman raised their guns, shooting each soldier they saw. Fortunately, the Marleyans weren't used to such equipment, so they were caught by surprise time after time. On the opposite side, Irina threw hand grades inside the buildings, making sure nobody could hide inside. The Eldian soldiers stalked like crows from the rooftops. Any movement in the streets was quickly neutralized, showing that no man was a big deal for those who have been facing titans all their lives.

"Clean!" Irina landed next to Sabah.

"Good job. We're almost done here," they looked back at their comrade.

"Hey! Sabah, should we take these?" A tall soldier asked, holding a powder keg.

"Huh? Why!?" Irina spoke, visibly alerted. "We're clearing the path without a problem."

"You know the orders. Civilian casualties must be kept to a minimum," Sabah approached him with a severe tone.

"Why!? They have been killing us for years. This is our chance to do as much harm as possible. Look at Eren! We should follow his example."

Something stuck in Sabah's throat. Everything about that cadet was unsettling, from his words to his face, he was despicable. "We don't have time to lose. Forget about it."

With an unconvinced expression, the man dropped the keg and resumed his way.

"Ew. Who was that freak?" Irina whispered to her friend.

"Floch Forster," they replied. "It seems like some of the recruits are ready to lick Eren's boots."

A moment of silence followed. "Are you worried about what's going to happen to us after today?" A somber expression appeared on the girl's face as she spoke.

Irina's words weighed on Sabah's mind. The idea of participating in a lowkey conspiratory mission to murder Eren was somewhat nerve-racking. Not only was the rest of the army unaware, but there was also still the possibility that he would be turned into a martyr. If anything, this could divide the Corps into those in favor of either Petra or Eren, and make their squad look like traitors in the eyes of others.

"No. If we start thinking about it now, we won't be able to do anything," they reassured themselves.

"I guess you're right…"

After that, both soldiers started advancing towards the grand square.

Nearby, a Marleyan division was moving weapons to the next trench. Their wagons advanced on a closed street, unaware of the danger looming from above. A sudden "pluff" was heard behind them, and one of the soldiers turned his head to find his partner's brains scattered on the floor.

"Look up!" Another white-uniformed man shouted just before taking a bullet in his skull.

"We're cornered!"

Panic possessed them as they kept on falling without being able to locate the sniper. From the corner of one of the rooftops, Evelyn performed the pumping action of her shotgun. The lynx-eyed girl barely let them react, and soon they were all lying dead on the ground.

"Evelyn! Are you done?" Nathaniel asked from behind, but she didn't reply. Seeing this, he redirected his attention to what she was looking at. Between the corpses of the soldiers, a little girl was standing, alone. Her eyes were big and filled with horror. They made eye contact for a moment, then she ran away in the opposite direction.

"Wh- What have I done?" her voice shook.

The blonde soldier averted his eyes from the street back to his friend. She was paralyzed, and her hands trembled as she clenched her fingers around the shotgun.

"Hey, Evelyn," he said, catching the barrel of her rifle with one hand while holding her shoulder with the other. "The girl is fine. You didn't shoot her."

"But still- I've never killed anyone before," she replied, unable to look away from the bloodshed.

"Look at me," he whispered. "No one is innocent. Their hands were as dirty as ours now."

She looked into his eyes, placing a hand over his. "I know… Sorry."

"No need to apologize. Let's put on the light and ran away from here," he helped her get up.

Evelyn's hands were still shaking as she pulled the flashlight from her belt. Nathaniel then placed it on the spire of a turret, thus helping to create a trail of lights for the zeppelin to follow.

"Are you ready for what comes now?" She asked him as he got down.

"I think so, and you?"

She nodded with her eyes downcasted. "Thank you, for being by my side."

Nathaniel frowned. Her tone tingled him the wrong way, somehow. It sounded like she was saying goodbye. "Evelyn… I have something to tell-"

"Let's go!" Her face lightened quickly. "The Lieutenant is waiting for us. You'll tell me afterward."

He caught the last glimpse of her green eyes just before she jumped back into the air.

Petra hugged Eren with one arm and fired the punch of her wire to jump towards a nearby electrical tower. The Hammer titan was starting to raise from the ground, leaving them with little time to come up with a plan.

"As I expected, that titan can do whatever it wants with its hardening. We can't kill it by crushing its neck," he said.

"Just as you predicted… It would be easier for me to eat the shifter then," she incorporated herself.

"Indeed, but don't transform yet. There's no need for you to waste your energy now. Distract it, and I'll get it ready for you."

The woman looked at him, somewhat suspicious, but she decided to obey. Petra fled in front of the giant monster, causing it to attack her with its bare fists. Luckily, years of keeping up with Levi had made her one of the fastest soldiers in the Corps, being able to dodge the hit smoothly. She landed on the facade of a building and saw how the titan created a sword out of its own body. Rapidly, she jumped to the next one before the Hammer destroyed the structure with a single onslaught.

Eren followed all of their movements from the tower, trying to find a way to defeat their enemy. It didn't take long for both of them to realize the same thing; the titan had built its body from its feet.

Petra was gliding over the titan's head when she suddenly noticed a white string coming out of its heel. "Eren!" She shouted, but the boy had already taken the lead. He jumped, nosediving onto the titan's real body and transforming before hitting the ground. With an iron-like determination, he buried his fist under the ruins of the stage, ripping the crystallized body of the shifter into the light.

The Lieutenant gasped. "So, that's how it looks like." Eren's titan tilted its head towards her and threw the crystal into the air above them.

Petra didn't have any doubts.

Lara Tybur was utterly surprised to find herself out of the Founding's hand. She couldn't make sense of it until the explosion of yellow lights occurred below her. "It cannot be-" The sound of teeth against crystal ringed loudly on her ears, and in the lapse of a second, her face shattered into thousand pieces.

The rest of Petra's squad arrived just in time to see their Lieutenant swallowing the horrible mixture of blood and glass.

"Fuck. It seems like we're not going to get a break," Nathaniel spoke, feeling the cold sweat running down his neck.

"Hey, kids!" Edith landed next to them. "We thought you wouldn't make it on time. Get ready!"

On the other side, Sabah and Irina had taken their positions, quickly surrounding both Eren and Petra from the rooftops. Levi had made it to see her eating the Hammer titan as well, and was now supervising her squad from one of the buildings. "This is it," he thought, feeling the floor tremble under his feet as Zeke approached from behind.

The Special Operation Squad raised their gazes into the night sky, watching the enormous body of the Beast titan as it stomped towards them.

"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you," Irina joked to Sabah.

"Hah! Guess it wasn't that bad," they replied with a smirk.

Levi swallowed as Petra's titan landed on all fours. They couldn't know how her body would react to eating another titan, but his mind eased with each second her body didn't start decomposing. "Hold on," he prayed just before his eyes caught something weird on the titan's back. The Jaw titan's body palpitated, slowly deforming itself into a mass of muscle. The Captain's heart skipped a beat. It looked like something was punching it from the inside.

"Petra!" He drew his blades, ready to jump and get her out, but it was too late. The Jaw exploded creating a great thunder of blue light. Everybody was stupefied as they saw the new body that rose from Petra.

"Look!" Evelyn said. The light faded, revealing a large white figure with hair like fire. Its face was covered with the same bony mask that the Jaw titan wore, and in its claws, it held the long shaft of a hammer. Petra stood now taller than the Founding itself, filling his gaping soldiers with hope.

"That's- amazing," Nathaniel whispered.

"Of course! How dare you doubt her? She may not even need our help with such a size," Edith spoke.

Levi couldn't believe his eyes either, but he was relieved to see that the Hammer powers seemed to have worked in her favor. But now the question was, what was she going to do? The Captain couldn't do anything else but stand there and hope that she had chosen to live. No. It didn't matter what her decision was, he trusted it would be the right one. He would follow her blindly until she led him out of the dark.

"So, what is it going to be?" Eren asked her mentally. He couldn't predict her body would change this much, but at least he felt it had given her a fair advantage. "Are you going to give up now, or are you going to fight-"

The Founding titan flew across the main square, startling everyone around. Before Eren had a chance to react, Petra's hammer fled into his head, having to cover himself with his crystallized arms as not to be decapitated again.

Levi and the rest repositioned themselves. She had attacked sooner than initially planned, plus she seemed to be faster than the previous shifter. It would be hard to help her if she kept on moving like that, not that she seemed to need their help now.

From the inside of the Beast titan, Zeke watched the scene with a horrified expression. "That bloody woman. This wasn't in our plans!" Anger and fear began to seize him as he buried his hand on the buildings next to him to get some stones to throw. There was no other option, he would have to fight them for real. "Such a pity. I would've loved to get to know you a little bit better, Petra Ral."

Meanwhile, Levi had fled over the Hammer's shoulder. "Petra! What do you think you're doing? Zeke is going to come for us now."

"T͎a͎k͎e͎ c͎a͎r͎e͎ o͎f͎ h͎i͎m͎,͎ I͎ c͎a͎n͎ f͎a͎c͎e͎ E͎r͎e͎n͎ a͎l͎o͎n͎e͎.," the titan's voice addressed him from the back of its throat.

"Goddamit," the Captain muttered, not expecting that thing to talk. "Do your thing then. We'll have your back," he spoke heartfeltly before jumping off. "Petra squad! Change of plans, don't let Zeke advance!" He shouted as he passed next to them.

"Yes, sir!" Edith replied, "the rest of the reinforcements, follow us too!"

Immediately, all the soldiers mobilized against Zeke. Edith and Hugo led the way as the rest scattered, preventing the Beast titan from hitting them all at once with its throws. The giant creature let out a roaring scream as he aimed his first shoot.

"Now!" Hugo signaled.

Quickly, both soldiers dived down with a huge blast of gas, cutting the titan's heels. Zeke grunted as he fell to his knees. His hand desperately reached for more stones before they could cut his arms. With a swift throw, he managed to deviate the couple from their trajectory. Levi dodged the ammunition and signaled the rest to regroup. The Beast took the chance to crystallize its neck before they attacked again. "This is bad. I won't be able to hold on much longer!"

Zeke tried to shoo them away with his arms, but they were faster. Irina and Sabah launched their thunder spears into his arms, and the titan braced itself for the impact when suddenly the sound of a machine gun sliced through the air.

"Back-up, back-up!" the soldiers vociferated.

The Cart titan was shooting at them from a nearby rooftop, stopping the Eldian's missiles mid-air before they could destroy Zeke's limbs. Most of the soldiers were able to take cover, but those who stayed closer to Pieck were reduced to bloody dust.

Hugo tried to get to safety, but he had been left in the bad flank. The cannons adjusted to aim at him. "Move!" Edith sped towards her friend by surprise, pushing him inside a window. The man rolled between the glass and across the floor as the cold sound of the machine gun started again, three clean shots this time. He was raising his head slightly when he heard the sound of a body bumping into the outside wall.

"Edith!" Irina's voice cried from the outside until Evelyn held her back down. Everyone had witnessed it.

From the window, Hugo saw Edith's lifeless body swinging from a single wire. A bullet had ripped off her arm, and another had hit her square in the chest. His eyes remained big, unable to process what was going on. "Son of a bitch," he greeted between his teeth, suddenly seeing red.

"Irina and Hange squad, go against the Cart titan! Nathaniel and Evelyn, follow me!" Levi snapped them out from their turmoil. "Sabah, take care of Petra. The 104th will soon realize what's going on… Can I trust you with that?"

The stoic soldier looked the Captain in the eye and nodded. "Take care, you three," they spoke to their teammates as they ran away.

Petra's squad split, searching for both titans' blind spots before attacking again. Pieck kept on firing at them, which forced the soldiers to take some distance. Meanwhile, Zeke prepared more projectiles.

"Distract them!" the Captain ordered. Immediately, Nathaniel and Evelyn accelerated in front of Zeke. The Beast crossed its arms, throwing stones in both directions and killing two other soldiers in the process. Seeing the strategy, the Cart titan did everything in its power to protect Zeke's neck.

Evelyn tried to fire her thunder spears into its arms, but the bullets prevented her from getting any closer. She fiercely dodged every shot, forcing herself to move as fast as possible. A sudden stab of pain in her shoulder delayed her movements. "Not now!"

"Evelyn!" Nathaniel shouted in horror as he saw how Zeke aimed at her.

A violent hail of stones catapulted towards the girl, cornering her between the shots of both titans. She barely had time to look back before hurrying down, barely missing the biggest rocks. Mimicking Hugo's technique, Evelyn broke a window to hide inside the building.

"I've barely made it," she thought.

A second later, Nathaniel crashed next to her. "Evelyn!"

The brunette was astonished to see him. "What are you doing here!? Our comrades need you!" She reprimanded him.

"Evelyn- They hit you," his voice shook.

"Wh-," she looked down in dreadfulness to find a bleeding wound on her right side. Adrenaline had prevented her from realizing. "I didn't- I didn't feel it."

"It's okay," Nathaniel's nerves faltered him, "I won't leave you." With a nervous gesture, he took the emergency roll of bandages out of his belt and started to tend her. "Don't die on me!"

The 104th was standing guard on the roads when they saw how Petra's titan lunged at Eren.

"What the hell is going on!?" Jean said, completely startled by the unexpected action.

"Do you think she lost control? I'm pretty sure that's Petra now," Connie said.

Rapidly, Sasha and Mikasa hurried towards them. "Have you guys seen it?" The Ackerman girl's face was completely disfigured by the shock.

"Yeah, I don't like this."

"I mean- I'm sure Petra's squad would take care of this," Connie tried to ease himself.

"I don't think that's the case," Jean started, finally puzzling things together. "Don't you find a bit suspicious that we're back here despite being the most experienced squad in the Corps? Besides, Petra's team had been practicing extra hours, all alone. What if they planned for her to eat him without telling us?"

The rest of his friends stared at him, not wanting to believe his words. "After all," he continued, "he has betrayed us..."

Not wanting to hear another word, Mikasa leaped off the building to rush over the main square.

"Wait, Mikasa!" They exchanged looks briefly and went off behind her.

The three-way battle continued over the wreckage of the stage. Petra and Eren struggled against each other while the rest of the squads kept Zeke and Pieck at bay. The roaring of the titans filled the ears of the soldiers, making them feel like they were trapped in a living hell.

Levi caught Nathaniel's eye before he went on Evelyn's aid. It hurt him to think that Petra's soldiers were being injured under his orders, but he could still carry out the strategy successfully. As Pieck reloaded the nearest cannon, the Captain took the opportunity to launch his surprise attack on Zeke, knocking him face down.

"Fucker!" He muttered after seeing he had shielded his neck.

The soldiers inside the Cart titan prepared themselves to fire against the Captain when a huge blast stopped them in their tracks. Everyone watched as a giant cloud of dust and water vapor rose into the sky from the port. The horizon turned red, and the shock wave swept through part of the city, taking everything in its path.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Irina jumped over the rooftop where Pieck was, killing one of the shooters with her handgun.

"H̳o̳w̳ ̳d̳a̳r̳e̳ ̳y̳o̳u̳," the titan spoke, but it was too late. Hugo came flying over its body, wrathful with a thirst for revenge. "YOU WILL PAY!" He shouted before lunging his thunder spears over the Cart's body. Immediately, the rest of the soldiers started throwing their explosives at Pieck as well. The structure of the submachine gun exploded into a thousand pieces, killing all the rest of the soldiers inside. Burning in flames, the Cart titan tried to flee, falling off the building in the process. Not content with this, Hugo followed the nearly ended monster all the way down to the ground. One missile more and Edith would be completely avenged.

The enraged man prepared himself to deliver the last blow when a blonde boy appeared out of the blue. "Please, don't kill her!" He begged with big green eyes, like those of his deceased friend. Hugo hesitated, but his anger was far bigger. He launched the last missile, unable to erase the image of Edith's body out of his mind. In one last effort, the Cart titan expulsed vapor out of its body to prevent the thunder spear from exploding near Falco.

"Shit," the Eldian climbed back again. A group of Marley's soldiers had appeared after the boy and started shooting at him. "Protect Pieck at all costs!" They shouted as they fired their gunshots.

At that point, the rest of the soldiers had managed to destroy the Beast's limbs. They kept on launching their thunder spears until the hardness on its nape gave off. "Finally!" The Captain contained the urge to smile as he buried his blades in the titan's flesh to pull out Zeke. Levi grabbed him by the hair as he pulled his face next to his. "Bet you expected us to kiss Eren's butt, huh?" He spoke to his ear.

"This battle isn't over," the blonde warrior panted.

Levi let go of him. "Cut his arms and legs off and take him out of here," he ordered to the soldiers. At last, he would be able to beat Eren's ass too.

"Petra, wait for me."

Notes:

You will have to wait some days more to know who survives... It totally gets worse. UPS-

Chapter 22: Nine heroes

Summary:

"Your only mistake was showing me who you truly are, Eren. I won't let you commit genocide in the name of our freedom. I believe in the ability to change people's hearts, but for yours, it is too late. We will progress by uniting through empathy, not hatred. I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe that humanity's greatest strength is its ability to despise."

Notes:

Finally, another update! Thank you all for your patience. This arc has been quite complex to write.

TW!: This chapter features quite a strong language and some heavy angst.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Eren's body crashed into the building's facade, destroying it. He wasn't expecting the blow at all. The titan maintained its petrified forearms up, for it wouldn't get a chance to get up before the Hammer attacked again with its weapon. "Shit!" The teen shifter greeted his teeth from the inside. His body barely could handle the second strike. Petra prepared herself to deliver yet another blow when Eren made her fall with a kick of his leg. Rapidly, she recomposed herself. The movements of her titan were surprisingly flowy despite its size, if she continued like that, the Attack titan would be defeated in short.

The Lieutenant could feel the stunned stares of her subordinates as they fled against Zeke and Pieck instead. Surely, Eren would be regretting letting her eat the Hammer. Now, he would be forced to face a much more worthy opponent, and Petra wasn't thinking of giving up without pulling up a real fight. If she didn't, the lives of her comrades would be wasted for nothing. From the inside of the titan, the sound of the machine gun sounded like a far echo, reminding her that her squad still fought behind her. "It's fine, they're with Levi…" She consoled herself as she focused her attention on the raging beast before her. Right there, all she could do was to trust that her friends would make it out.

The Hammer aimed at her enemy's head, but Eren dodged the cutting motion, quickly grabbing the weapon by the opposite extreme and crystallizing it to Petra's arm. The masked titan stood immobile, materializing a stake with which to throw the Attack titan away. Once its nape was safe, the Hammer bit its arm off.

"Edith!" Irina's voice reached her from the other side of the square. Incapable of maintaining her focus, the ginger tilted her head back to see the body of her friend hanging dead from a single wire.

"No!" It was exactly like in her vision. How could that be possible? She had finally chosen to disobey Eren in hopes of getting a different outcome… But now it was clear that what she saw back then was nothing else but the result of trying to betray his will.

Her distraction cost her a clean blow in the face that dragged her body across the floor. The Lieutenant's mind went white with the intensity of the kick, and Eren took the chance to attack her again, this getting his fists blocked. Petra's chest burned with anger and pain, whether to him or herself. There was no time to regret her decision, and after letting Edith die, she couldn't back up.

"I tried to warn you," Eren thought as she filled the air with an infernal roar, throwing him against the concrete floor. "You could've prevented this by trusting me, but you decided that bringing me down was more important than the life of your comrades. I won't blame you, Petra, but you should know where this led you the first time."

The howls of pain and the blast of Zeke's projectiles crashing against every structure around the square aroused fear in her body again. "Is this- my fault?"

Her mind was racing. This couldn't be wrong. No matter how many people died today, Eren was planning on doing much worse if he got away. Steeling herself, Petra attacked again. No matter what, she wouldn't let her royal blood interfere. There must be another way to end the cycle of hate. She couldn't let him get away with this.

"Your only mistake was showing me who you truly are, Eren. I won't let you commit genocide in the name of our freedom. I believe in the ability to change people's hearts, but for yours, it is too late. We will progress by uniting through empathy, not hatred. I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe that humanity's greatest strength is its ability to despise."

The fighting had been going on for what seemed to be an eternity when the Colossal titan blasted Liberio's port. Still, they were all aware that the intensity of the moment had blurred their perception of time. Even the movement of the bullets seemed slower in their eyes. The noise, the screams, the orders, did not end. The chaos had become a Perpetuum mobile that filled their consciousness like a never-ending knocking on the back of their skulls, or at least that's how it felt for Petra.

It had been a while since the Lieutenant last used her titan powers, so she couldn't know how her deterioration would translate into that situation. There was only an approximate way of knowing how many minutes she had left, not that they had any idea of how her body would react after devouring another shifter... During those four years, Petra had known the painful brush of time, but nothing could have prepared her for the fury with which it pressed her in this battle. For the first time, she had the embodied feeling of living on borrowed time. If she didn't get to eat Eren before the airship arrived, it would be her end.

For that reason, Armin's explosion felt like the starting gun for her last race. The aircraft was already on its way, and if the course of this battle didn't change rapidly, Petra would have no choice but to die out of respect for her fallen comrades.

"Hurry up, Levi!" She begged to herself. Maybe the Hammer wouldn't be able to seize Eren by itself, but if someone could help her now, that was the Captain.

Meanwhile, Sabah guarded the perimeter as they waited for Levi's squad. The sharp-eyed soldier contemplated whether to jump and help their commander, but the speed with which the titans moved would've made it quite difficult. It was quite a challenge to keep their eyes on the surroundings and resist the urge to check on their friends. For the time being, all they could do was to make sure no one interfered.

"Eren!" Someone shouted in the distance. It was Mikasa's voice. "There we go," Sabah thought before going in her direction. As they expected, the Ackerman girl had come with the whole squad, so things were about to get messy.

The 104th stood on the edge of one of the rooftops, staring with haunted faces at the fight between their friend and the red-haired titan. "What- what are we supposed to do now?" Connie asked, still bug-eyed by the wrathful scene. At that moment, Petra's team was setting Pieck on fire, and Zeke had already bitten the dust, which meant there was little else for them to do besides deciding whether to help Eren or not.

They felt utterly useless and betrayed. That was a certain sign that Hange didn't trust them enough to share their plans with them. However, the squad had to admit that Mikasa would have been a problem nonetheless, and isolating her alone might have been far a worse option.

Mikasa was bothered by the way her companions hesitated, so she decided to rush into the fight alone. "He needs me!" Those words arose almost like an instinct, ignoring whatever consequence it might bring later. The girl paced through the air as if she was wearing blinders, too focused on Eren to perceive that Sabah was approaching by her side. The soldier cut her trajectory by bumping against her body by surprise, pushing her all the way back until they made her fall on top of another building.

"Mikasa!" Jean and the rest followed them, barely perceiving who had stopped her due to the speed.

Flushed with anger, Mikasa quickly drew herself up against them. However, Sabah dodged the lunge, their fist rapidly grabbing the scarf around her neck before they hit her in a way that nearly knocked her back to the ground. Not willing to fall so easily, she punched the soldier back in their jaw in an attempt to escape. Already desperate, she tried to run towards Eren once again, being stopped this time by the punch of Sabah's wire in her cufflink. Mikasa let out a growl of pain before falling. Her tearful eyes looked at the scene before her to see how the Hammer was turning its back on them. "I can still do something!" The girl attempted to aim at the titan from her position with her thunder-spears when Jean stopped her dry.

"Enough!" He shouted, positioning himself on top.

"What do you think you're doing, Jean!? She's going to kill him-" Mikasa vociferated on the verge of tears as the rest of her friends approached. "Why aren't any of you doing anything!? Are you on their side!?"

Sabah tried to catch their breath. Her strength seemed to increase whenever it came to protecting Eren. If the rest had been on her side, they would've had to use their weapons…

"These are orders from Commander Hange. I am sorry," the soldier spoke to them.

Levi's squad didn't raise their gazes to meet them. Despite their contained behaviors, they related to Mikasa's pain. "Did you already forget? He wanted for us to live, and be happy… How are you going to let him die here!?" Her rant kept going, slowly decreasing alongside the hope that they would let her go.

"Sabah!"

The distressed call surprised them, and they all turned to see how Nathaniel approached running from the opposite side. His forehead was drenched in cold sweat, and his expression was wan due to exhaustion and worrisome. In his arms, he carried a barely conscious, bleeding Evelyn.

"What-what happened!?" The raven-haired approached their friend as everyone else starred in an equally concerned manner. The wounded girl breathed with difficulty, and her face had gone white as a sheet. Sabah's eyes went down her torso, tightly wrapped in blood-stained bandages. "No- We already lost Edith. Evelyn? Hey! Hey! Don't fall asleep," they called her, barely getting any response.

"It's useless," Nathaniel spoke, raising his gaze towards Jean and the rest. "I need someone to take her to the airship, now. She needs to be tended by a doctor or else she won't make it. We're running out of time," he pleaded to everyone in sight.

The 104th stood in silence. Of course they felt for the poor girl. After all, they had shared those last years together. However, an aggrieved feeling had taken hold of them.

"Why should we?" Jean said.

Nathaniel was puzzled, unable to make sense of what he heard. "What?"

"Why should we help you? Haven't you guys been plotting to kill Eren behind our backs? We don't have anything to do with this really…" As he spoke, a grim expression of apathy crossed his face.

Nathaniel felt his heart sink. He shifted his body to give Evelyn to Sabah before walking towards Jean. "And so what?" The blonde boy snapped, grabbing him by the collar of his uniform. "As if you wouldn't have done the same if Hange had asked you to kill Petra instead. You bunch of fucking hypocrites! We were just following the Commander's orders like everyone else, and so was Evelyn. Have you seen this place? It's full of dead civilians. We're all guilty here. Are you going to give me shit for trying to do what's best for this not to happen again? If you want to fight over it then take it on me later, but don't let her die for this!"

Jean froze, completely regretting his previous words at this point. Nathaniel's eyes were still lit up with a fiery rage they hadn't seen on him before. More precisely, they had never seen himlike this before.

"Fine... I'll take her," Jean finally replied in shame, causing him to let go a deep sigh of relief. Still with his heart pounding on his ears, Nathaniel turned back to look at Evelyn. The girl was staring back at him with glassy eyes. She seemed almost lucid. He was startled by this, rapidly turning around to choke a sob at the sight of her weak smile. No way he would let her see him cry. "I will be back soon. Be strong Eve."

"Hey!" Irina and Hugo landed behind them, relieved to get some fresh air after their fierce ambush against Pieck. "What's wrong with Evelyn?" She asked, catching a glimpse of the way Connie and Sasha held Mikasa against the ground. Her leg was bleeding, luckily impending her from putting up another fight.

After scanning the scene, her eyes shifted to Sabah and Nathaniel, whose expressions were enough to activate her fight or flight response. "She got hit by one of Zeke's rocks…" The tallest replied with dismal.

"Is she okay?" The petite woman inquired, increasingly worried by the second. "Where?"

"On her right side," Sabah spoke, doing their best to detach the following words from their emotions, "she's bleeding out."

Irina stood still, not wanting to let reality sink completely. She knew that, as a member of Petra's squad, she was obliged to stay until the end of the battle. "I need to go with her. She won't make it without a doctor."

"It's fine. You have my permission," Levi appeared by surprise. "I will do just fine with Nathaniel and Sabah. The rest can retreat."

"But Captain!" Hugo retorted, still outraged that Pieck had escaped alive. "Our comrades are dying and Petra still hasn't managed to eat Eren. Are we going to let their sacrifices be in vain and run away?"

Levi had to control the urge to snap back. As if someone cared more about Petra's fate or those lost lives than him. Besides, he had to let Zeke live for yet another day. "Shut up, you idiot. Do you really think their hearts would go to waste just because of one failed mission? Our objective doesn't end here. Put yourself together and carry your burden like the rest of us. The more we stay, the more they will die."

Hugo felt the knot on his throat tighten. He still didn't want to let go of the anger of losing Edith, because he knew that the moment he did, he would also have to face the pain.

The Captain read all his emotions like a book. It was almost offensive to see his own struggles on the faces of subordinates. He had lost the ability to do that. To show the world each of his opened wounds just in the glow of his eyes. As much as he empathized with them, he couldn't help but hate the stupid reminder of what dwelt beneath his apparent indifference.

"It won't bring her back," he spoke once again. Completely shattering the man in front of him this time.

"Well- It worked for you," Hugo responded in defeat, unable to guess how badly he had bitten back. He turned around with the same dismay that his voice brought, finally psyching himself to leave the battlefield. He would carry Edith's remains to the airship, but her memory, that he would have to carry forever.

Levi remained motionless as he watched Hugo leave. It was as if he were looking into a mirror with each step that man took. He was lucky, way too lucky to have Petra back. If he didn't win, he would be experiencing the same feeling in a matter of minutes. Only time separated that miserable vision from reality. With the aid of a deep breath, he brushed the thought aside. There was no use in reopening that wound before time.

From the other side, Nathaniel had heard everything. He was holding his breath, not wanting to reflect in any of their words either.

"You two," Levi addressed to the remaining soldiers, "let's go."

With a nod of their heads, Sabah and Nathaniel ran behind the Captain to assess a plan on how to help Petra. From afar, the small grey dot of the airship floated towards them, functioning as a clock which time passed in a frenzy.

Levi lowered his eyes from the sky to look at the titan fight in front of them. "Tire him out as much as you can," he shouted before jumping off. The younger cadets held their breaths for a moment. Getting in the middle of those monsters was lowkey suicidal, but probably wasn't harder than dodging a never-ending rain of bullets and stones.

Petra was relieved to see their silhouettes going against the Attack Titan. "Now it's over!" She thought, quickly moving as to give them space to maneuver. From the ground, she materialized a dozen of white arms that grabbed Eren to immobilize him on the spot. Surrounded by enemies, he wouldn't get a chance to harden as Sabah and Nathaniel shot their thunder-spears against his titan. The Hammer advanced towards its foe, grabbing it by the head and opening its serrated mouth. No matter how much he tried to protect himself, with the Jaw's powers, Eren was one bite away from death. Levi glided over their heads, watching proudly as everything went down.

"Kill him, Petra!"

Suddenly, Eren's titan let out an infernal roar. Much worse than the one it made on its first apparition. It was a sound so loud they could feel its vibration inside their bones, and for a moment they even swore that they would be deaf for life. Levi jumped away, covering his ears although he expected them to be bleeding regardless. "What the hell was that!?" The beep of the scream lingered in his head. Something was wrong. His instincts set an alarm off as he looked down again.

Petra's titan was not moving.

Levi remained paralyzed, looking as the Hammer remained frozen with its jaws open over Eren's nape. "No way this is happening," he lamented.

From the inside of the Hammer, Petra was bewildered as well. The ginger desperately tried to move her limbs, a finger, something, but nothing happened. Her vision became blurry until it went totally black. She had lost sight of her outside body and was now alone trapped in the meat mass of her titan's nape. Fear seized her as she started to think that it would start to decompose. "Did I run out of time?" The woman wondered, uselessly trying to get out.

"Petra," Eren's voice called her from the back of her mind. It wasn't a physical sound, but she had heard it so clearly that there was no way it had been her imagination.

"How? What are you doing?" Her voice shook, almost unable to breathe from the increasing anxiety pressing into her muscles.

"That was a useless, yet noble try," the voice continued. "What made you think you could defeat the one titan that can control them all?"

Petra gasped, feeling the temperature rising inside her body. "No! Wait!"

From the outside, the uncertainty was growing heavier as well. "What is going on!?" Sabah said, jumping over Eren in an attempt to finish Petra's job.

"Stop! Don't approach her!" Levi shouted at them with urgency. The young soldier stopped just before one of Petra's spikes attacked them by surprise. It was evident now, Eren was now controlling the Hammer.

"Don't let him get out!" Levi ordered, before maneuvering another attack. Automatically, Petra's titan materialized spears that launched in their direction, forcing them to get away. Levi watched in horror as Eren freed his body from the Hammer's grip. If he got to Petra now, it would be fatal.

The next moments happened in a matter of seconds, but he was so horribly conscious of each movement that it almost felt like an eternity. An eternity in which he failed to save her.

The Captain fled between each punch of hardened white flesh the titan threw at him, trying to get her out of there before Eren did. He saw the way Hammer stood like a marionette, bending complacently for the arrival of the Founding, just as a lackey bows to a king. Levi pressed his gas so hard it almost burned the engine. The wind dried his opened eyes as he witnessed it all with incandescent fury. There was no way he was going to make it on time.

Eren tightened his fist on the titan's red hair and opened his mouth. His hideous teeth dug deep into the flesh at the back of her neck, and the dreadful sound of bones breaking sealed the deal. She was gone.

Levi felt the urge to release the lever on his gas and give up, but he couldn't let him swallow. He still needed to save whatever was left of her. No way he would allow Eren to have her powers, her memories together, everything. "One thing, let me keep one thing!" He raised his blades. Ready to commit to whatever that attack was, either revenge or the last breath of his hope.

He was scarce meters away from the Attack titan when it violently pulled his head back, ripping the flesh of the Hammer's back open. Eren's face was bloody, and his jaw hung loosely while also missing some of its teeth. Levi opened his eyes big to the miserable face of the titan, that carried a huge crystal in its mouth. Inside of it, the frozen body of Petra rested in one piece.

The Captain landed on the floor, falling to his knees without taking his eyes from her.

"He didn't eat her!" Nathaniel spoke from behind him.

They all stood in disbelief as Eren let down the shiny capsule with Petra inside, just before getting off his titan as well. Levi ran towards it, eager to see the shifter inside. The red lights of the sky reflected over the shiny surface, giving it an almost ruby-like quality. Petra seemed to be floating like an insect trapped in amber, now confined in an eternal limbo inside of a prison of stone. Her eyes were closed in a sorrowful expression, and her face was marked by the scars of her transformation.

"Petra?" He talked to her, perhaps with the wishful thought that she would somehow respond.

Soon enough, the traitor boy was standing next to them. Sabah and Nathaniel pointed at him with their guns, despite the clear idea that the fight was now over. On the other hand, Levi couldn't get his hands away from the crystal, not fully understanding what this outcome meant.

"How ironic, isn't it, Captain?"

Levi sent him a resentful look, unable to choose what was more nauseating if his remark or his voice. It seems that Eren had gotten into the habit of using the past to get on their nerves. Petra had already warned him of this, but damn, it surely was working. The Captain was undoubtedly bothered by the idea of not being able to kill Annie due to whatever that material was, but this situation was far worse to him.

Petra had survived, kind of? She was alive yet she wasn't, there frozen yet probably breathing. Levi withdrew his hand from the cold surface, still trying to pick a feeling for this moment. It seemed like the state of uncertainty he had been living in would prolong for yet another bit longer.

"Tie her up. The airship is almost here."

Almost everyone was already there when they went up. The mood was quite divided within the airship. A little group relaxed after the success of the ambush, while others seemed to not be so happy with the whole idea of betraying Eren and the fact that some of their comrades had participated in said strategy. "Only seven deaths!" "Seven heroes!" Were some of the things the most positive said, causing Hugo to retire himself.

The 104th stood in silence, trying to help Petra's squad tending Evelyn despite their previous mishap. Of course, Mikasa was thrilled to see Eren climb back unharmed, although he was heavily side-eyed by the defeated squad. In any case, the apparition of Petra's crystal didn't leave anyone indifferent. Indeed, they had made their first successful counterattack against Marley, but nonetheless, they had failed in their intent to get rid of Eren. Words of disapproval and bitterness filled the airship as they carried her towards a separated area on the back. It was anything but sweet to Levi, who had to listen to the whole situation as he dragged the weight of that rock with Sabah's help. After some effort, they secured her with some chains in the same space they kept Zeke and Eren, both limbless for obvious reasons.

However, the tensest moment was lived by the rest of Petra's squad, who were trying above all odds to save an increasingly cold Evelyn. Irina was sweating cold, her hands shaking as she tried to stop a hemorrhage that had been opened for way too long.

"Irina, breath…" Nathaniel spoke softly after seeing how affected she seemed to be as well. He had seen her help so many dying soldiers with the coldest of minds, but it was different now. She and Evelyn had been friends since their trainee days, and it surely wasn't easy for her either.

"It's not my breath you should be worrying about," she spoke harshly without stopping her task.

Understanding that it was better to keep his mouth shut even now, Nathaniel held Evelyn's hand on his. Her nails were going purple, and the sound of her ragged breathing made him physically ill.

"Hey, Eve… Listen to me. We're going home now. Everything will be fine," he spoke softly to her. The girl's eyes were barely open, and the air made a painful little sound as it went in and out of her lungs. "That's it… Keep going," he caressed her head, trying not to cry on top of her.

"Fuck!" Irina grunted, throwing more bloody bandages to her side as she slowly reached the brink of her nerves.

Sabah quickly ran towards them "Hey… How is she going?" They asked fearfully just to get a distressed look from Nathaniel as a reply. It was a delicate moment for all of them. "It will be fine! She has made it all this way," they said, placing a hand on their friend's back to ease them.

"Yes. She has made it this long fucking bleeding and we don't have much time," Irina spoke aggressively again. The two friends just stared at each other as she continued to focus on the task at hand. After a moment of silence, the doctor required them again. "Sabah I need your help here," she said, searching for more clean bandages.

Seeing this, Nathaniel got up quickly. "I will bring you some more!" He said before running to the medical supplies.

BANG.

The loud sound of a shotgun was heard, suddenly disrupting the otherwise peaceful ambiance. Sabah turned around to see a couple of kids next to the entrance, one of them was holding a rifle. Seconds after, Nathaniel's body hit the ground.

"Nathaniel!" They shouted as the rest of the soldiers ran to seize the little intruders. Sabah turned their friend around, quickly seeing the bleeding whole over his heart. "No-, Irina!" They pleaded in desperation. The blonde girl was staring at them in disbelief with tears in her eyes. "I- I can't help them both," her voice shook as two of her friends now bled out on the floor.

Sabah rushed towards the bandages, throwing some to Irina while they tried to do something for the dying blonde boy.

"Sa- bah-," he tried to speak, before choking on his blood.

"Wait! Don't do this to me," they cried as Sasha and Jean rushed to help, but it was too late. Droplets of red fell from his lips from the accumulation of liquid on the back of his throat, impeding him from breathing. The guttural sound of his breath fighting against the thickness of his blood caused Sabah to cry harder. "No! Please-, please- stop," they prayed uselessly. The tall man blinked with his gaze fixated on the ceiling, his lungs filling up with death as his system shut down.

From across the floor, Evelyn had her eyes open, not even understanding what was happening in front of her. From her place, she probably would have seen him convulse and slowly die as one of those "heroes" his family wished for him to be. Unluckily, she was too weak to understand or tell the world herself.

"We're going home now?" She spoke weakly before letting go one last breath.

"What?" Irina asked, approaching her ear to her friend's face after hearing the thin thread of her voice.

"Evelyn?"

The doctor's heart broke as they checked her vital signs.

"Evelyn!?"

Her body was empty now, but her head still looked over Nathaniel. Against all odds, Irina got up to try and help her other friend, but all she found was a disconsolate Sabah over an equally inert body.

"I couldn't help them?"

She fell to her knees, staring at Nathaniel's dull blue eyes. Irina looked back at Evelyn one last time before finally breaking to cry as well.

In the back of the airship, separated by a thin wall, Captain Levi and Eren sat separated by Petra's petrified body. During the first minutes, he couldn't even think. He was so self-absorbed in his torment that he didn't even pay attention to whatever was happening on the other side. It wouldn't be the first time he had heard cries of pain after coming back, alone in his office. Maybe it was one of those times. He dreaded to hear her, to feel her weight over the mattress just for her not to be there anymore.

"What was all of this about?" He finally asked, with his head buried deep between his knees as his fingers ran through his hair.

"Do you want to know?" Eren asked from the other side.

Pain and anger made the Captain's throat burn with thousands of words unsaid. Mostly insults and cries of pain and outrage. He quickly got up, grabbing Eren by his hair to kick him in the face without an ounce of mercy.

"The best thing that could've happened today was for you to die. The second best was this." The Captain delivered another blow that made him spit out a couple of teeth this time. "You dirty pig. What did you want from her?"

"Easy there, Captain," Zeke spoke from the corner. "We warned you both to not interfere. You need to understand that only Eren can change the curse of history. This was the best for all. Besides, she didn't die."

Levi tilted his head while giving him a murderous look. He was completely ready to engage in a pinata party with their bodies. At least, they would serve him to get a bit of his frustration out.

"Ignore him," Eren said. "This was part of our plan from the beginning. I told her to eat the Hammer titan in order to gain its hardening abilities so she could crystallize herself. This way, her decomposition will be greatly diminished, giving me time to break the curse and save her life."

"What?" Hange caught them by surprise. The Commander was standing outside the door with a visibly consternated Irina. "Levi, did you know about this?"

"No, but I knew Petra had made a deal with him. She refused to tell me what it was though."

"I told her to do that too," Eren continued. "The original idea was for her to betray the Scouts. She was going to pretend to prepare her team for a battle against me and then give up, putting herself inside the capsule before even trying. However, she decided to kill me instead. In the end, I was forced to use my scream to control her. It wasn't a power I wanted to showcase this soon, but she would've eaten me otherwise."

"This could've been prevented?" Irina interrupted him. Her face was pale, and her hands were still dirty with blood. "The only reason Zeke fought so aggressively against us was that she attacked Eren in the first place. Are you telling me she could've saved herself just like that?" Her tone started to get more hostile.

"Irina-" Hange tried to hold her back.

"Don't touch me!" The girl shouted in tears. "Our team was slaughtered for her fault! Petra got us in a fight we couldn't win, and then saved her fucking ass in the last moment. If she was so determined to fight Eren, then she should have died with the rest of her team." Her yelling continued, attracting the attention of the people who listened from the outside. "If she had made the right choice Edith, Nathaniel and Evelyn would still be alive. She decided to fight him even though we were the only ones risking our lives!" She continued, approaching the crystal.

"What happened to your shitty 'trust' speeches, you stupid bitch?" The girl slammed her fists against the limpid material. "They're fucking dead. You hear me!? And you should've died with them too!"

"Enough!" Hange said, embracing her waist to drag her out. Irina tried to fight back, spitting on Petra before finally crumbling down in wails of grief.

Levi took the chance to look at the covered corpses on the other side of the door. What the hell had just happened? After they came out, Sabah entered the closed space. Levi saw that their eyes were red and swollen, but they didn't mutter a single word. The soldier dropped two tied-up kids on the floor, leaving him even more confused than before. Levi couldn't help wondering the obvious; how had they gotten there, and if they were responsible for Nathaniel's death.

If the moment was unpleasant in and of itself, it only got worse when Eren started laughing out of nowhere.

"What's so funny?" The Captain asked, unable to feel surprised at this point. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and cleaned the result of Irina's rampage off the crystal. It saddened him to hear her subordinates speak of Petra in such a manner, but those reactions were expected during missions like those. With a heavy heart, Levi raised his gaze to look at the woman he loved one last time and was surprised to see a trail of tears running from her eyes.

"Irina is wrong," the boy finally spoke again, with his eyes downcast. Immediately, the Captain was snapped out of his lover's hypnotic vision.

"What?"

"Petra was ready to die. I was the one who trapped her inside that."

"Wake up! Wake up!" A dusty, old voice called her, shaking her shoulders with weak, bony arms.

Petra opened her eyes, panting heavily as if she had been awakened from a long nightmare. For how long had her consciousness been worse around with her eyes closed? She couldn't remember the moment when her mind finally gave up to slumber, but there was something more important to assess now.

There was a sky full of stars on top of her, and a familiar, hypnotic white sound reached her like a soft breeze. Still confused, she tilted her head to the side, feeling the soft sensation of sand on her cheek.

"Sand… Sand!?"

Petra rapidly incorporated her torso, finally understanding where she was. "What am I doing here?" She asked, before looking into the shiny green eyes of the decrepit old man beside her.

"Oh, Petra," he spoke with tears in his eyes. "I've made a horrible mistake."

Notes:

Thank you sm for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts on this one. I hurt myself while writing it (cries). Next chapter there's another surprise...

Chapter 23: The light of two wings

Summary:

And they'd find us in a week
When the buzzards get loud
After the insects have made their claim
After the foxes have known our taste
After the raven has had its say
I'd be home with you.

Notes:

Finally! Another update after this long break. I'm sorry it took me so long, but I've been struggling with my mental health and the last month was pretty rough. Now I'm feeling much better and with the energy to enjoy this little hobby again. Thank you for your patience! 3

- The paragraph is a bit from Hozier's "In a week." This song makes me think of all the fallen soldiers whose bodies remained outside the walls, and therefore the og Levi's squad. You can listen to it for a full experience!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Was it possible to keep on living without air, food, or water? People tend to forget when they learned those basics. It was common sense, you just knew. For everyone else, it would've been impossible to survive in those conditions, yet she kept going.

Petra had been pushing the potential limits of any living being for years now. She had died, came back as a titan, and continued to live as a woman thanks to a mysterious source of energy that rebuilt her body out of shreds. It had been tiresome and almost gruesome to think about herself as a zombie, knowing she was living on a stolen last breath that would reclaim her sooner than later.

When Petra learned about Eren's true plan, she decided to give up in her hopes for a lasting body and die alongside her subordinates. So much time starving for life, and during the only moment she finally decides to give in, life declines her wish yet again? It felt like a cruel joke.

From the outside of the crystal, she heard the screams and commotion. Irina's blows against her cage rumbled in his chest for hours. As if the material was unable to forget her words, each sound kept reverberating for what seemed an eternity against her skin. In that deep slumber, things lost and gained sense in sudden bursts of light. Lungs full of transparent matter and a consciousness halfway between reality and dream, that's what was left of her. That was the way she continued with Levi.

Levi.

She had disappointed them all. Not only did she fail to protect her soldiers, but she didn't even have the strength to keep on going and live with him. It wouldn't have been fair. He had fought all his life to build a world where sacrifice was meaningful, and for her to get away with all of this only shattered the last straw of faith he still retained for this war. How could she ever look him straight in the eye ever again? When was the last time she even heard his voice… Was he okay? Had he abandoned her? It probably was more painful for him, as always.

"All I ever did was for you… I should have died back then and never come back. For a moment, I thought that my love for you was more important than anything else. I lost my compass."

Feelings of regret blended with the sound of familiar voices in the gloom behind her lids, slowly melting and becoming all the same. Maybe she spent there days, months, years; she couldn't have known. Untouched by life or death, time ceased to subsist, and all she ever did was exist.

"Petra!"

A voice called from afar, and as if grabbed by a divine hand, her whole being seemed to be dragged into existence once again. A great sensation of vertigo caused her to open her eyes, inhaling deeply for the first time in ages. Petra kept breathing heavily as she slowly recognized the place she was.

"What am I doing here?"

"Oh, Petra…" A week voice spoke to her side. "I've made a horrible mistake."

The ginger flinched, quickly dragging her body away from the rickety older man beside her. He was barely dressed with rags, skinny to the bone, and a long beard that reached his stomach. Petra couldn't recall seeing his figure the first time she was on paths.

"What do you want from me!? What the hell are you?" The woman asked, slightly freaked by his appearance. It was almost like talking to a corpse.

"It's me…" He cried, bringing his bony palms to his miserable face. "Eren."

Petra stared at him, horrified, unable to believe a word the figure said. She scanned every rooted tooth and the way his sleepy eyelids framed a pair of dull green eyes. They looked sad and clouded with the wear of time, but they were unmistakeably those of the kid she met almost five years ago. A sudden urgency flooded.

"What? How? What happened to you?"

"I died… Just as I planned… But my remaining consciousness has been trapped in this place for millennia."

Her amber eyes filled with panic. "This can't be real- As if I was going to trust a single word you say after what you did to me. I can't have been trapped in the crystal for that long."

As she spoke, Eren tried to approach her nervously. "You haven't! It's just that… In here, there's no time, so past and future coexist. Everything that's ever happened is happening right here, right now." The old man explained. "It took me two thousand years to find your consciousness so I could bring you back!"

Petra still panted with nerves, but she reluctantly agreed to listen. "If you died, does it mean you activated the Rumbling?" She swallowed, horrified at the realization.

During their secret meeting before Marley's attack, he confessed his whole plan, which ultimately led her to choose to betray him regardless of the outcome. Now that she had failed, Eren had a free way to destroy the world outside the walls.

The expression of the man before her filled with pain as he sunk into his knees. "I did… I did…" He sobbed with a grimace of despair. "I promise I contemplated every possible outcome. I thought that it was the only way to bring the world together, making myself the enemy."

"And so?" She reproached him. "Didn't you get what you wanted?"

"No!" Eren looked at her with a brokenhearted. "Merely decades after the end of the war, Paradis was destroyed, and everything we worked through went to hell…"

Petra let out a sharp gasp. Could that be true? Was that the price they had paid for a world without titans?

"Why the hell you brought me here, Eren?" She asked, way too tired of his little games.

"Because I need you to change it. You're my last hope," he begged, desperately grasping to her knees. "All this time, I've been here alone, hiding, watching everything unfold from an eternal limbo. It's been so long I can't even bother to restore my body anymore. Why even try? Please, I want peace."

The Lieutenant kicked him away, "you ask for peace, after everything you've done? You've been playing with me to get your way and even forced me inside that crystal when all I wanted to do was die! You're foolish if you think I haven't helped you for the last time."

"I understand..." Eren lamented as he tried to incorporate himself. "But don't do it for me, do it for those you can still save. You were right all along, Petra. You once told me that the secret of your strength was your trust in your comrades… Even when all I wanted to do was smash titans' heads and use my powers mindlessly, you convinced me to rely on others. My powers aren't worth a thing if humanity doesn't come together. My intervention would make no difference, but people like you, and the Scouts, maybe you could! Please, stop me while you're still on time."

Petra looked at him. It was hard to remain apathetic in front of such a scene. "You really kept me alive as a last resource, huh."

"No… Well, kind of, but I genuinely wanted for you to live," he looked her in the eye, and this one thing she finally believed. "When I dissolved the hardness of this world, I asked Ymir to keep you inside your crystal and fix your body. I kept my part of the deal!"

Resigned, Petra lowered her head. This had happened way too many times, but if he was telling the truth, no matter how selfish he had been, it was worth giving it a try. "How the hell do you want me to stop it?" She asked angrily.

Her words lightened Eren's face to the point that he seemed to rejuvenate a whole decade in a single breath. "As I told you, time bends inside this space." His senile limbs shook with excitement. "You need to go towards the center and find the place where I sealed the deal with Ymir. She brought you here that one time, so I'm sure she might listen to you!"

"That is all you got? Talking her out of it?" Petra replied, disappointed.

"Oh no! You see, all the titans are built out of sand here as well, meaning that the bodies of the Colossal ones should be near the same place. If you manage to destroy the original sand puppets, the ones from the earth will vanish too! Convincing Ymir will only lead to them not being rebuilt."

"Do you intend for me to destroy a whole army of Colossal titans with my bare hands? I might not be the only one spending centuries in here!" She complained, practically on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It was hard to believe that the figure before her once was no other than manipulative and unexpectedly methodical Eren Yeager. This plan seemed way too simple yet horribly impossible to achieve. Those were the thoughts she dealt with when suddenly, another smile drew on the older man's face, leaving the Lieutenant even more bewildered.

"Turn around, carrot head."

Her body froze. It took her a single second to recognize that voice, but she had to see it with her own eyes. Already mouth-gaped, Petra slowly turned her torso around to see a pair of polished brown boots. Her gaze climbed slowly in search of a known face, and to her amazement, she found it.

"Eld?"

The blonde man laughed at her dislocated face. "Yes?"

Her hands automatically reached for his arms. She needed to feel his flesh and bones to make sure that was happening for real. An unspeakable pain seized Petra's chest as if she hadn't realized how much his loss hurt until then. The amazed woman had barely settled into the sensation when her eyes darted behind him.

"Guys?"

Some steps behind them, Oluo and Gunther smiled at her. Edith, Nathaniel, and Evelyn were there too, standing with peaceful faces. Struggling to process her astonishment, her eyes kept on looking at the horizon where an endless line of known faces stood ready for combat.

"Not so bad, huh?" Oluo crossed his hands over his chest with a pretentious look.

Petra got up from the ground awkwardly, not knowing how to express the sea of unsaid words she had for each one of them. "You're all here for real?" Her eyes filled with tears.

"This is what took me so long," Eren spoke, "I secretly searched for each one of their souls and gave them a new body here so they could help you… The remaining soldiers of the Survey Corps keep on fighting on earth, but the ones who are here, they still can help."

Unable to hold it in any longer, she jumped into her friend's arms. "I thought I'd never see you again…" She cried, then reached to touch her dead subordinates' faces. "Guys… I'm so sorry for you too."

"It's alright, Lieutenant," Evelyn spoke, holding Nathaniel's hand. "It's not so bad in here."

"You really left us trapped in here with this dude," Edith said as she pointed to Oluo with her thumb.

"As if anyone could compete with that personality of yours," he snapped, biting his tongue mid-sentence.

Despite her horrible heartache, Petra managed to crackle at the mixture of memories they evoked. It was like watching a sweet concoction from various stages of her life. "I've missed this so much."

"You haven't been doing bad!" Gunther patted her shoulder. "Squad leader Petra! Who would have guessed."

"Ah! You stole my place," Eld laughed sweetly.

They all rejoiced for a few moments as an endless stream of tears run peacefully down Petra's cheeks. "It pains my heart that I was able to come back, and you didn't…" She finally confessed. "I feel like I belong here more than any of you."

"Cut it out, Pet!" Oluo replied. "No one could've predicted how crazy this was going to get. Also, it seems you had some pending accounts with the Captain."

"Oluo..." She blushed, noticing the nostalgic look on his face. Was it possible that he had seen that much? Well, from what she knew, all of their memories were tied together via paths. It's not like she wasn't aware of her friend's feelings towards her, but she never expected to find herself in this situation.

"I don't wish to interrupt," Eren spoke from the ground, "but you should go now."

Endlessly moved by that moment, Petra turned around to meet the decrepit figure she now felt she had previously misjudged. "It looks like you're getting your redemption," she managed to say.

"Well… It's not like I'm going to survive anyway. So this one's for you." He spoke, lowering his gaze as he seemed to observe the thoughts that went through his mind. "I wish you a happy rest of your life, Petra."

A sudden sense of compassion filled her. Despite everything, it seemed there was a part of her that still strived to understand him. It was either that or the harsh realization that this was their last talk.

"Thank you, Eren. Thank you for trusting me."

Time suspended for a moment, but the man in front of her seemed to have shut down. After one last exchange, the Special Operations squad left towards the rest of the soldiers, leaving the decaying corpse of Eren to return to the sand. When she turned around again, nothing was to be seen, and a strange affliction weighed on her chest.

"Ah! It seems like we're finally on our last mission this time," Nathaniel stepped towards the Lieutenant.

"Indeed," she looked him in the eye. Petra hadn't even had a chance to see him die. The last time she saw him, he seemed as alive as he did right now, then the gunshot happened… Irina's words burdened her like a concrete block tied to her ankles. Everything might be okay from their side, but nothing could cover the damage done to those who stayed.

"I'm sure she will come to terms with it," the boy surprised her. "Irina and the rest… They will understand."

"Oh…" Petra swallowed, unconvinced.

"It's okay," he patted her back, "just tell Sabah that I'm sorry about my sister." Nathaniel smiled at her and continued walking towards the endless line. "Oh! Then tell Hugo that we should've dated," Edith laughed before walking away too.

The ginger was left confused, watching as her friends walked away without even bothering for a goodbye. She tried to open her mouth when the figure of a horse made out of sand startled her. The woman looked at the tiny grains that shaped the animal that carried a blonde man on top.

"Long time no see, Lieutenant Petra."

"Commander Erwin," she looked up, fascinated, suddenly realizing he had called her by rank.

"If you allow me, I will lead the soldiers towards the Colossal titans. You can take care of Ymir," he spoke calmly.

"Y-yes, sir," she replied, bewildered at the way they acted as if nothing had happened. Quickly, Erwin turned towards his soldiers. There, she saw dozens of familiar faces. Some exchanged glances with her, other acquaintances smiled knowingly, but there was not an iota of pain apart from hers.

"Come here!" Oluo called her to get on top of his horse.

Petra leaped nimbly after him. She couldn't remember the last time they had to ride together, but she could recall their first, back when they were in the Training Corps. The memory made her smile. They spent a lot of their time on petty fights, but she felt utterly grateful for him. Her hands grasped into his uniform, allowing herself to enjoy that little gift.

"Petra Squad, advance towards the center of that light!" Erwin shouted while haranguing the front rows. "The rest, follow me! One last time, devote your hearts!"

With those last words, the fallen soldiers of the Survey Corps began charging toward the great column of light that stood in the center of that empty land. Something like the wind billowed their capes, and the gallop of the false horses kicked up a cloud of sand in their wake. Meanwhile, Petra couldn't stop thinking about what she could possibly say to Ymir to stop the Rumbling. It surely wasn't an easy business to change one's mind on such a decision. What did she even know about Ymir aside from what Eren had told her? Petra had always had a way with words, but this felt beyond her.

"Hey, get out of your head," Eld shouted from their right side, immediately getting her attention. "I'm sure you will find a way."

The ginger smiled at him, "it's not like we have an alternative, right?"

"Well, at least we'll have tried," Oluo spoke, looking at her over his shoulder.

Slowly, a grim sight started to appear in front of them. Protected in the darkness of that eternal night rose the figures of hundreds of sand colossi. Around them, the dune trails used for their construction were still preserved. Although they remained motionless, the view was quite dumbfounding, making her wonder how terrifying they might look from the other side.

Right away, the formation split as the rest of the Corps continued riding towards the titans. Petra watched it all, fascinated to think that both living and dead were probably fighting at that same time.

"Look!" Evelyn shouted as they all turned to look towards the giant tree. It seemed that the base had opened, creating a bulbous shape filled with red light. Next to it, the small figure of a girl was standing.

"Ymir," Petra recognized her. Her hands grasped harder into Oluo's cloak, and the tightness in her throat threatened to rob her of her voice. The man looked back at her in silence, almost as if there was something he didn't dare to say.

"Can you continue from here?" He spoke softly. The ginger shook her head in surprise. Weren't they going to stick with her for a little longer?

"Are you going to leave me again?" Her word choice surprised her. It felt like taking a blow straight to the mouth, but it couldn't get much honest than that. The rest of the squad remained quiet.

Her friend smiled as he shifted his gaze to the little girl once more. "You wrote my name as your wedding witness..."

His words chilled her. So he had seen that much… Petra felt a liberating sorrow squeezing her heart. She had a word on the tip of her tongue, but the sand from the horse seemed to disintegrate momentarily, letting her fall.

"Wait" What's going to happen to you once this is over?" She begged them, her eyes wandering from one face to another.

"You will know, someday," Oluo replied casually, taking the reins of his horse to lead him in the opposite direction.

"Guys!?"

"Goodbye, Petra."

Soft smiles and a final glance were all she got before they rode away as if they were going to wake up in the barracks the following day. It was painful and almost outrageous to see how easy it had been for them. Despite everything, it seemed that she hadn't learned. Petra felt that she had once again overestimated how much time they could spend together, and a flash of agony threatened to break her down as she watched them disappear. How was it possible to fail at something as simple as saying: "I love you, thank you?"

The Lieutenant sat in the sand sobbing almost inaudibly. Her lungs were breathless, and her brain seemed to burn inside her skull out of sheer suffering. Petra could've remained there for ages, but the ethereal sound of small footsteps on the sand interrupted her. Behind her back, the dainty face of Ymir stared at her in confusion. How was she going to talk with her in this lamentable state? She surely looked uncomfortably miserable.

"Ymir," the ginger managed to mutter, slowly extending a hand towards the girl who backed up in horror. The sound of a great landslide moved through the thick darkness of paths, making the blonde shook her head in stupefaction as they both realized that the puppets of the Colossal titans were falling. Ymir's eyes lit up with rage, and despite her youthful appearance, it was easy to feel the terrific menace of an old and powerful soul in them. Suddenly, a pair of chains rose under Petra's feet, trapping her on the spot. "Fuck, this is not going well."

The little girl started walking in the soldier's direction before Petra managed to grab her by the skirt. "Ymir, I beg you, listen to me!" She spoke uselessly as the kid got rid of her grasp to resume her way. "Stop!" Her voice shouted in desperation. "I have royal blood! I order you to let me free," Ymir ignored her again.

Royal blood, as if that had made things easier for her even once. Why would she obey her anyway? After all, Ymir had only bowed to King Fritz because of love, or at least that's what Eren had told her…

"Wait…" A sudden realization lifted Petra's spirit. "You brought me here once! You saw me with Levi, didn't you?"

The girl stopped to look back with a suspicious expression.

"You were in love with King Fritz. That's why you agreed to lend him your power and destroy his enemies no matter what," Petra panted, measuring her words carefully as not to lose her attention. "I don't know why you let Eren activate the Rumbling, but it's over now! There's no need to kill more people. Please, let us stop it!"

Her last words seemed to outrage the blonde girl who decided to turn around again.

"Ymir! I understand. You were right about me! I'm just like you… You saw those souls that brought me here. Those soldiers used to fight by my side, but they all died because I was trying to prove myself to the man I love… I even died for him once too!"

The kid stared at her in shock. It seemed she was finally hitting the right nail. Petra breathed in deeply, trying to put her thought in order for the next sentences would be crucial.
"He wasn't a king, but I was his subordinate as well…" She started. "Everything I did was for him. I made Eren make the wrong choice to prove our worth to him, and so we died. I came back with the power of a titan, and instead of taking care of my people, I got obsessed with finding a way to remain by his side. I even agreed to betray the Corps in my pursuit of survival, which led to more of my friends dying." Her voice filled with pain as she disclosed her most honest thoughts.

"I was ready to do anything, even losing my integrity if that meant keeping him a little longer…. In that sense, I am just like you."

The blonde girl remained immobile, drawn to the familiar pain of the woman before her.

"Ymir… It was wrong," she cried, "I regret it. I think I broke his heart to keep myself near him. I became something that he would never approve of. No loyalty, no honesty, it's just me and my bloody wishes."

Petra's breath hitched before continuing, she had to risk it all.

"I feel like I don't deserve him anymore, yet here I am, trying to live up to him yet again. Eren's soul will remain here after his death, just like you did, and his consciousness will live long enough to regret activating the Rumbling. The souls of my dead comrades are destroying the Colossal titans, and all that is left to do is decide that this cycle of violence ends here, now."

As she spoke, the sound of giants falling continued, and the tree of light slowly shifted from red to green.

"I know that after all you've been through, I'm not in the right to ask for anything… It's your choice now. You can expiate your sins with me and make the first step to end this war once and for all, or we can wait until the world outside the walls is destroyed and remain here together for eternity."

Without taking her eyes from hers, Ymir started walking towards Petra. Shily, she kneeled and grabbed a handful of sand, giving it a bit of form before putting it inside her mouth. The little girl enjoyed the sensation of the brand new tongue inside her mouth before speaking.

"You don't want to come back with him?"

Her voice was dusty and soft, filled with curiousness. Petra felt pity for her. During all this time, she had refused to restore her tongue and had remained like a slave, silent, with no one to talk to.

"No… Not like this. I will come back to Levi with my hands clean, or else I don't want it."

A wince of pain crossed Ymir's face, and a soft sob left her as tears fell down her cheeks. "Then you're not like me at all. You're not selfish…" The girl got up. "You and Mikasa would die and kill in order to make things right, despite knowing you will never be able to be with the people you love… It might be too late for me, but you can still come back with him and end this war."

Petra's amber eyes lit with yearning.

"I won't stand in the way," Ymir smiled dewy-eyed as she reached for a small shining gem underneath the sand. "You will live. It's over now."

The sound of shattering crystal woke her up as her body hit the hard floor. Petra coughed violently, spitting all of the liquid that filled her lungs. She felt weak and dizzy. That couldn't have been a dream. Had she managed to stop the Rumbling for real?

The sound of soldiers running echoed across the ground. They opened the door fully weaponed as they observed her in surprise.

"Petra!" Hugo approached the lying woman to help her sit.

"What happened? The Rumbling..." Petra asked faintly.

"Eren activated it," he spoke, somewhat surprised that she knew about it despite having been trapped all this time. "The giants left the island, and that's the last thing we saw-"

The redhead laid her eyes on the military police shield on his uniform. So he had transferred back. Realizing this, Hugo averted his eyes in shame. At least he seemed worried about her.

"Levi… the rest?"

"Sabah and Irina left with the 104th. They're still part of the Corps," the man spoke with affliction.

Petra sighed in relief, so they were most likely still alive.

"Hugo…"

"Yes… Lieutenant?"

"Edith says you should've dated."

On the other side of the ocean, the fight had taken an unexpected turn. All hope seemed lost the moment the Colossal titans reached the shore, but soon after, they started miraculously falling, leaving an endless trail of steam behind them. Despite the irreparable damage caused, who knows how many more would've died if it had continued. Thanks to this, Eren's titan was the only problem they had to take real care of. The young shifter had to be executed to end the massacre, making it a sour victory for the Corps' survivors.

They couldn't put the finger on what could've helped them, but among the smoke of the battle, some got to see the ghostly silhouettes that flew among the colossi. Levi was one of those witnesses, instantly recognizing the maneuvers bringing them down. The Captain looked up to the sky with one single hope in mind: to not see Petra among them.

Notes:

Thank you for reading!

This was my attempt at a fix-it ending... Now, who's finally ready for a rivetra reunion!?

Chapter 24: When she finally reached

Summary:

After the end of the war, the world is in a catatonic state, although the appearance of a mysterious figure raises the beginning of negotiation for peace. Against this backdrop, Levi and Petra finally reunite.

Notes:

I LIVED!

Here's a late update of the penultimate chapter of this fic. It took me long enough... I want to let you know that I'm doing better, but work and uni had me busy af. I appreciate all of your kind words, they mean much more than you imagine. I hope you enjoy it. 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The sound of rain echoed off the roof. Everyone was silent, sitting as they waited for the queen. Various representatives of Marley and nations beyond the island cast suspicious glances at the opposite stands. The ambiance was tense, but not in a threatening way. Everyone seemed scared and tired. It felt as if all sides of the conflict had finally reached the same conclusion: they had met their limits.

The activation of the Rumbling put in evidence how big was the threat they all had been facing. The Marleyan float had been completely annihilated alongside the strongest links of its military force. Therefore, it was not as if an offensive against Eren Yeager's home nation could be raised anytime soon. A year ago, they were surprised by the realization that some of the Eldian soldiers who participated in Liberio's attack seemed to fight against the genocidal shifter. This didn't automatically grant them their trust but it helped the world to believe that not all of Paradis supported the yeagerist faction.

It seemed that Eren had become too great of a responsibility for Paradis and that in the end, its own army had to stop the outside world from destruction. How had they managed to stop such a thing, it remained a mystery. All they knew was that Paradis stood in a complex situation between being both the perpetrator and savior of one of the worst war crimes ' almost' ever committed. In that sense, both nations were politically divided by fear. Sympathizers of the yeagerists continued to claim Eren as a hero, while on the other side of the ocean, the extermination of the Eldians was still demanded by many …

However, amid that tumult of rancor, those who had served on the front lines of the conflict were still willing to exchange their side of the story. Months after the end of the war, Paradís sent the first timid invitation to Marley in hopes of clarifying the mysterious interruption of the Rumbling, and the misleading position of the Survey Corps during said battle. Said retelling of events could be backed up by those members of the Warriors who had also chosen to side with them, but regardless, there were still many ends to tie.

Earlier that morning, a ship full of ambassadors arrived at Paradis. The guests were escorted within the previous perimeter of the walls, being protected from the yeagerist groups that rebuked the cars as they passed. Now, they all took their seats inside Sina's courtroom. The first meeting for peace was ready to begin.

The whispers died away the moment the door opened. Commander Hange Zoe entered the room with a stack of papers under their arm. They had always enjoyed talking about titans and whatever was new in their research, but this one talk felt overwhelming. With a shaky hand, the Commander used a handkerchief to clean the cold sweat off their forehead.

"My apologies for the wait, gentleman." They spoke while adjusting the glasses that helped an exhausted remaining eye. Being an official peace advocate was a great responsibility, but Hange was proud to be able to carry this burden. "Allow me to present our majesty, queen Historia Reiss."

Everybody got up from their seats as the blonde girl walked towards the main stand. "Please, take your seats," the queen said cordially. "I know I can't speak for the entirety of my people, none of us in this room can, but believe me when I say that a great faction of this nation is immensely grateful to have you here."

Historia's voice seemed to soothe the attendants. "I have the utmost respect for your time, so I won't entertain you with verbiage and pomp. You came here in search of answers, and all of them will be granted as we promised in our letters."

The echo of footsteps made some turn to see the soldier who was now approaching the lectern. The tiny woman was dressed in the long coat of the Survey Corps, and her freshly cut hair swung gracefully under her chin.

"I'd like to introduce you to the key subject in the denouement of Ymir's curse," Historia spoke, nodding to give the floor to said soldier.

"Thank you, your majesty," her gentle voice started. "Ladies and gentleman, my name is Petra Ral Reiss. I'm Lieutenant of the second division of the Survey Corps, and the soldier who helped stop the Rumbling. What I'm about to tell you might be hard to understand, so please, stick with me."

The smell of damp earth filled the open corridors of the cloistered courtyard. In the middle of it, the plants of a small well-tended garden gleamed with raindrops. The sight was so peaceful and mundane, completely unaltered by the instability of their times. Petra's mind drifted away as she entertained herself watching the overflowed fountain. There wasn't much to do besides trying to not overthink.

The Lieutenant had barely slept practicing the speech. She had been obsessively going over every word and sentence. Petra knew that everything she said would be scrutinized until tiredness, her phrases misrepresented in search of lies and hatred. Even convincing Ymir felt easier now. At least, she had been witness to their memories, but how could one convey a message to people whose experience was so alien to theirs?

Petra's testimony lasted for what felt like hours. Her mouth felt dry and her head hurt from the effort of answering an incessant rain of questions. The voices of the translators had been echoing hers for hours to the point where it became maddening. The hot temperature inside hadn't helped either. It was as if the mixture of fear and nerves that everyone was experiencing had mixed in a hellish miasma that stuck to her skin. In fact, she couldn't recall a more liberating moment than when Historia finally invited her to leave.

Now, Petra remained alone in the hallway outside the court. The assembly continued without her, deciding the future of their nation. It was likely they weren't going to reach a verdict today, but it felt so close it was impossible not to daydream about it.

The Lieutenant paced slowly as she contemplated her future. Regardless of the results, her life would be irretrievably affected by her role in the war. Her identity was going to remain secret to grant her some protection, but sooner or later that information would be leaked. As much as it pained her, Petra would need to pack her things and leave the island as soon as possible, although her presence might be required in future councils if things weren't solved now. She had done her best in order to put an end to their enmity, but had it been enough?

The ginger sighed, still tormented by the fear of failure. She desperately needed for that agreement to be settled, for that was the only way she could clear her conscience. The curse was gone, and her body had been fully restored, but she still needed to bring peace to her dead comrades, and Levi.

The longing woman had secretly hoped for him to come with that ship, but neither the Captain nor Mikasa showed up. They hadn't seen each other since the raid on Liberio, which had happened almost a year ago at that point. From what she knew, he could've died in battle. Petra had been desperately waiting for the Corps to come back so she could ask someone, but shame paralyzed her. What if he was done with her for good?

"Hey," a voice surprised her from the other side of the hallway. The Commander had just come out of the courtroom and was now walking towards her with a nostalgic expression.

"You did well inside there," they said. " It must've been so hard."

"Hange…"

Petra felt her cheeks burning. She had been kept under custody from the moment she came out of the crystal, so she hadn't had the chance to meet anyone aside from Hugo. A sharp pain tightened her throat. She had been fearing her first encounter with them for weeks. What could she expect after her miserable failure as a squad leader? Her head was already spiraling with anxiety when Hange's arms wrapped around her tightly.

"I was so thrilled to know you had made it! It's nice to see you." They said, forcefully repressing a wave of emotion on their tone.

"Really?" Petra asked, completely startled by the gesture. She didn't feel deserving of it. "Aren't you mad at me?"

The Commander's expression softened as they pulled away. "It seems to me you did your best… Also, we've forgiven much worse in the course of these past months."

Petra uselessly scanned Hange's face in search of an ounce of bitterness or resentment. She felt immensely grateful to have kept their friendship. "I'm really happy to see you too," she broke down, returning an even tighter hug.

"Aw- It's okay, darling!" They laughed, patting the ginger's back. "C'mon! Levi would get so jealous if he saw us,"

Petra raised her head instantly at his mention. "Is he alright?" She gasped, wiping the tears off her cheeks.

"Well… He's alive!" They replied, and not wanting to dwell into that answer any further, Hange handed her a piece of paper. "Here's the address… The shorty chose to stay in Marley."

"Away from me," Petra's brain filled as she grabbed the folded sheet. "Thank you, Hange. It means a lot," she wiped her tears.

A sudden commotion inside the courtroom interrupted their conversation. The agitation had been contained and brief, but it sure felt like a celebration. Hange and Petra stared at each other equally puzzled, as a hopeful chill ran down their bodies. Before they had a chance to react, the door opened and Sabah came out running towards them.

"The war is over!" They cried out. "We did it!"

Petra brought her hands to her mouth and froze. "For real?" She asked, tilting her head towards Hange again. The look on their face matched hers.

"How about another hug!?"

The room was dark, solely illuminated by the yellowish light coming from the outside. Levi tilted his head to look at the streets through the warned-off glass. The passers-by seemed to be in a hurry, which was somewhat weird during those hours.

"Wednesday," he recalled. The ship with the ambassadors was supposed to come back the day before. He hadn't received any news from Hange so far, but it probably wouldn't take long until someone came to bring them. A shaky breath escaped from his lips, making him notice the increasing tightness in his chest. Discomforted by the sensation, he brought a single hand to his heart, slowly caressing the tense muscles underneath his shirt.

He had tried his best to drown every memory surrounding the war. At least, he had forbidden himself from engaging in anything related ever again. It wasn't an easy decision. Hange had softly suggested for him to come and testify on Paradis, but they were met with silence for an answer. He had fulfilled his promise of creating a word without titans, but a man like him couldn't commit to advocating for peace. It just wasn't on him, as much as he wished otherwise.

After the raid on Liberio and until the end of the conflict, Levi had resigned himself to his old ways. He had put up all the walls he had once let down in the warmth of his lover's arms and buried his feelings under the heavyweight of duty. As a result, he had been numb and generally miserable whenever he was left with his thoughts, like right then.

It was surprisingly hard to let go of his Captain title. He might've been initially forced into that position, but being just Levi was definitely worse. Stripped of purpose and strength, he had allowed himself to exist quietly. Finally getting a taste of what was like to not have to fight to survive. Forced to sit and watch as the world evolved in ways he couldn't have conceived. It was painful, yet blissful, to be able to feel from a position of certainty for once. That's probably why he had refused to continue with the Scouts.

Recurrent torments aside, he was especially afflicted by the memory of Petra. He wasn't able to return to Paradis after the final battle, so he still had no idea what had been of her, and if Eren's plan to save her life had actually worked. Some days, he was fully confident she had made it, but others, the temptation to mourn her overwhelmed his fatigued soul.

The thought of losing her was just too painful to face. If there was still a chance for them, he knew she would come to find him. On the other hand, if her body had finally succumbed back to slumber, he preferred to not find out. To be met with her corpse all over again was something he had refused as well. He was determined to close all the doors except for that one. Whatever had been of her, he didn't want to find out. At least that way he wouldn't have to suffer her loss again. Petra's door would remain open as long as he breathed, and his only purpose would be to wait.

Unluckily for him, that hopeful wait was over. The Scouts had come back to Marley, and soon he would be forced to find out about her fate. The only thought of it had made him toss and turn on his bed every night during the past few weeks. It was like standing next to the violent surf of the shore, waiting to be drowned.

Levi greeted his teeth, and in an attempt to distract himself, he brought his attention back to the streets.

His mind was blank as he inadvertently looked at the swinging skirts and the modern coats of the couples racing towards the mobile kiosk in the corner. Needles to say, the mood across the country hadn't been much better. Every corner of the city was heavily guarded, and the fear and paranoia still dominated the mind of the average citizen in Liberio. That's probably why he was suddenly drawn by the surprising air of excitement those people seemed to exhibit. Levi quickly assumed it had something to do with the results of the peace negotiations, although he still felt rather pessimistic on the matter.

The increasingly accelerated pace of the buyers brought a clearer sense to his tired and blurry vision. Two couples were reading the newspaper as a blonde woman looked over their shoulders. Quickly, she signaled another man across the street to come her way.

Levi held onto the armrest of his wheelchair to help himself get a better look. Slowly, a crowd started building around the tiny kiosk, and everyone around the square seemed to stop to get a hold or even a glimpse of the latest headline. His brow furrowed a bit as they started hugging and making celebratory expressions, which kept going as more and more citizens came running in their direction.

"Gabi!" He shouted from inside the tiny escritoire, getting surprised by the sudden clearness of his voice.

As much as he trusted Hange and the rest, it seemed pretty unlikely to reach a resolution so soon, let alone a positive one. The now-retired Captain made a short groan as he let his body fall again into the wheelchair. Maybe it was worth giving it a try.

"What is it?" The little girl stepped inside nervously.

"I need you to go and find out what the heck is going on down there," he spoke, pointing to the window.

The brunette sighed in relief as she saw there was nothing to fear. After all, they too feared the onset of another possible conflict. Levi realized this and felt guilty at the urgency with which he had called her.

"Do you think it has to do with the peace negotiations?" Her eyes opened wide as she grabbed a coin from his wallet over the table.

"Might be."

"I'll be back in a second!" She prepared herself to leave when the sudden sound of the bolt opening startled her.

"Guys!" Falco's voice came from downstairs. Immediately, Gabi left the room and leaned over the railing that led to the lower floor to see her friend. The blonde kid was running towards her with a newspaper in his hand. "You won't believe this!"

"You got one!? What is it!? What does it say!?" The nervous girl came towards him and tried to fetch the papers out of his hand.

Stock-still in that tiny room, Levi felt something collapse in his chest as he listened to his noisy protégés. No matter how much he had prepared himself for this, there was a part of him that still didn't feel prepared.

"Goddamit, kids! Give me that paper now!" He leaned his body to the side to send his voice out.

Surprised by the sudden vitality on him, the kids obeyed immediately. It had been six months since they started living with the grumpy veteran. They felt safe and understood around him, plus he required some help from time to time due to the new condition he was getting accustomed to. However, it had been hard to see how he slowly decayed into a weary version of who once was known as Humanity's Strongest .

"There you go…" Falco panted with excitement as he politely handed the folded newspaper to the man before him. It was bittersweet to see the way his muscles seemed to grow as he reached out for it, and the new light that shone in his remaining eye the moment he read the big words printed in black.

"The war is over," Levi spoke, sending gabi a soft look.

"Are you kidding me!?" She exclaimed in a frenzy as she made a little jump.

"Yes!" Falco held her by the arms. "I couldn't read the whole thing, but it seems that thanks to the participation of an anonymous Eldian soldier, Marley has agreed to sign the peace treaty… It seems they were involved in the stopping of the Rumbling as well!"

The young pair continued celebrating as Levi attempted to read past the headline. His shaky hands turned the pages, fastly trying to find the paragraph that mention said mysterious figure. Who could that be if not the only other woman who knew about Eren's plan before they did? It had to be Petra.

"Shit!" He complained, quickly grabbing the kids' attention. His urgency and missing fingers weren't making the task easy for him.

"Let me help you," Gabi accommodated the mess of papers on his lap. It was apparent that the news had upset the Captain, though not for the most obvious reasons. The girl sent his friend a questioning look as they both tried to figure out why he didn't seem as happy as they were.

"An anonymous Eldian soldier…" Levi whispered as his eyes flew over the retelling of events.

"𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫. 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞, 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠-"

The sudden ring of the doorbell made him raise his head instantly. Everything seemed to be happening so fast. A constipated expression crossed his face as his gaze fixated on the open door of his escritoire.

"Are you okay?" Gabi asked him, unable to stand his intriguing attitude any longer.

"Don't worry about me," he replied, brushing his hair back with his fingers in a swift motion. "Go open the door. It might be Hange."

"Of course," she raised an eyebrow suspiciously before walking away holding Falco's hand.

Levi made a big sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. His heart was pounding inside his ears. What if he was making all this fuss over nothing and Petra was actually dead? Was there any chance she had come back with the rest on that ship? His chest filled with hope as he surrendered his pride to ask Hange about her as soon as they crossed that door.

"Hurry up!" The Captain closed his eyes as he listened to Falco rushing down the stairs. His breathing grew heavier as he heard the latch of the door open. Moments of silence followed, further increasing the tension inside the dead silent house. "C'mon! Say something…" He begged for the final verdict.

Downstairs, a very pale Falco stood immobile. They had instantly recognized the ginger woman he handed Eren's letter a year ago. Needless to say, the beautiful visitor was as puzzled as him.

"Oh… Hi again, young man," her voice soothed him.

Next to him, Gabi's eyes filled with horror as she too recalled the face of the woman inside the crystal back on the airship, and the blonde young man she shot to death.

"Hello… Miss…" Falco stuttered, shifting his eyes to the wings of freedom on her military coat.

"I'm Petra Ral, in case you've forgotten me," the woman smiled nervously as she tried to read through their expressions. "I'm looking for Captain Levi. I'm ugh… I used to be his subordinate. Do you know where I can find him?"

Unable to mutter a single word, the blonde kind just stepped aside, letting her in.

"Thank you," she nodded politely before walking in.

Upstairs, Levi could barely hear the conversation. He had forced himself to stand up and was now leaning against the wall. His leg still hurt, but his racing thoughts wouldn't let him care, not when he was so close to finding out. Losing his composure, he miserably tried to step forward but his leg failed him. Levi stumbled over the table as he let out a groan of pain. His knee wasn't fully healed, and his patience had been running short for a while now. The sound of uniform boots reached the threshold of his door, and feeling pathetic, the Captain finally spoke.

"It took you long enough, shitty glasses. It seems you've made it, huh?" Levi pushed his body away from the table, visibly frustrated. A moment of silence passed before he raised his gaze towards the door, where he was surprised by a big pair of amber eyes. The change in his expression was immediate.

"Levi?" The petite woman whispered, sending chills down his skin. Fully uniformed and with her classic chin-length haircut, Petra stood mouth gaped in front of him. His heart felt like exploding at the sole sight of her, alive and well.

"Oh…" That's all he was able to say as the awkwardness of his posture made his neck burn. The lightness of her walk, the discreet silence with which she had approached him... He should've known. At least he used to, many years ago.

Their eyes lingered into each other for a few seconds, then almost instinctively, Levi averted his face away. The disturbed look on her face had reminded him that contrary to her, he looked like 'shit' .

"What happened?" She asked out of the blue. Petra had been rehearsing the whole exchange on her mind during her trip, but her little script was all over the place now. This wasn't the view she had been expecting.

Levi's eyes were hidden under the soft curtain of black hair that fell over his face. This hadn't been the way he had expected neither. "Zeke, and an aircraft incident," he replied after a second. "Hello, by the way," his mind continued as he tightened his fists uncomfortably. The Captain could feel Petra's eyes as she scanned his scarred face, his missing fingers, and the wheelchair behind him. With a knot on her throat, she looked down to see the newspaper on the floor.

"I was worried when you didn't come…" Petra gathered the courage to say as Levi resigned himself to sit on his chair again. The look of pity on her face melted him as much as it bothered.

"Well… I guess you get an idea now," he leaned back, breaking her heart a little.

"I see…" She swallowed and lowered her head.

"Was it your doing?" He pointed to the newspaper she previously noticed. "Did you really stop de Rumbling?"

Her reddish eyes lit up for a second before filling with sadness again. "Kind of… I had a bit of help."

Levi nodded with a furrowed brow, resigned with the idea that there were things he would never fully understand about her circumstances. "And you also helped Hange to stop this madness, didn't you?" His eyes softened.

Petra nodded once, almost as if she felt embarrassed of it. "I made sure my dad was safe before leaving Paradise for good… When people find out about my identity they might come after me, so I need to hide for now."

"And that's why you came?" He cut her. Maybe that hadn't been the best way to phrase it, but he needed confirmation that he was the reason.

"No!" Petra complained, feeling a cold rush run through her body. "We are married. How dare you think I would come here just in search of help?"

"But that was before… When you thought your time was running out. Things must've changed now that you're truly saved. After all, you must've been outside that Crystal for a year and I've known nothing of you until now. So tell me, why are you here?"

Levi saw the way her eyes widened to his words. He couldn't recall when had been the last time he had put his barriers up to her like that. He sounded so controlled and calm, but the fear behind those thoughts he had voiced consumed him with each passing second. Why would she still choose him now that she barely could look him in the face?

"Levi-"

"We can talk about all of this later," he shook his head, trying to refrain himself. " I don't care about anything. I just want to know if you're staying."

"What?" The rise and fall of her chest softened as his meltdown came full circle. "I don't get it. What do you mean?"

"I love you. Are you staying?"

A subtle light lit in Levi's face as he said those words. It had taken him four attempts to phrase it right, but there it was. Throughout his journey, he had been forced to accept life's volatility, watching people slip through his fingers like sand, so despite his many doubts, it was a painful relief to ask her that. They both knew how much of a privilege that was, to have the security and the braveness to ask someone to remain by your side. Permanence. That was all he looked forward to.

Little by little, Petra's expression softened, giving way to the old sweet and understanding visage that he knew so well. She choked a small giggle as tears run down her face. "I've been putting myself throughout all of this self-doubt too, and you're really telling me this is all it takes?"

The man before her lifted his chin to keep his eyes on her as she slowly approached. His lips were slightly parted as they gazed devoutly at the face of the woman for whom he felt tremendous sympathy. It was true, Petra had betrayed the Scouts to ally with Eren, but hadn't he done the same with Annie? Besides, he had given shelter to the girl who had killed Nathaniel ... Of course, they had too much to talk about, but if they wanted this to work, they would have to be able to leave it all behind.

The Captain turned his palm upwards to welcome her as she sat on top of him.

"Does this hurt?"

"No," he replied, although he would've gladly lied if that meant having her like that. Whatever was going on with his leg was the easiest type of pain he had ever known.

Petra licked her lips softly and smiled before cupping his face. Her thumbs caressed over the horizontal scars of his cheeks, and a glimpse of worrisome appeared in her eyes as she thought of him not making it out. He had been so strong and almost unbeatable during all those years, it was heartbreaking to think he probably took all of that for their soldiers.

"I am staying," her words filled with emotion. "I choose to marry you when we thought I was going to die because I wanted to end up by your side. There's nothing that could change that. Even before dying, I always thought no matter the way, everything would be fine if I could share that burden with you. Let's going to do that. I love you too"

Levi's eyes became teary as he embraced her by the waist. "I'm glad," he whispered, closing his eyes as she let her forehead rest on him.

"Me too..." Petra replied as her lungs filled with fresh air. "As long as you don't mind living in the middle of nowhere alongside an infamous deserter."

Levi smiled almost imperceptibly, already tasting the blissful peace of that future. "How will you explain this face of mine?" He asked, opening his eyes once more to relish the lovely tone of her pink cheeks.

"I'm sure you already had those when we met," the ginger replied playfully.

They remained in silence staring at each other. It felt like ages since the last time they touched. They were comfortable, yet hesitated for a moment before kissing. Petra tenderly pressed her lips against him, getting used to the new little dip of his wound. Her fingers traced his face, slowly, enjoying the realization that they had all the time in the world. It had been a long and arduous way to that exact moment but it was finally over now. They would keep moving forward like a drop of water running down naked skin, steady and unrushed.

Notes:

Thank you for reading!

Next chapter you'll get a happy cottagecore ending. Lots of love to all 3

Chapter 25: After the war

Summary:

"All the living are dead and the dead are all living.
The war is over and we are beginning."

Notes:

Not to be a bitch... but in the original draft of this fic I was going to kill Petra again. However, all of your support and comments encouraged me to keep writing so I could give them the happy ending they deserved.

Here it is friends. 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Levi was awakened by an anxious spasm. "Tsk", he complained softly as he opened his eyes, immediately recognizing the room he had been sleeping in for the past two years. It had been a while since he had one of those "annoying" jumps that often used to interrupt his slumber. It probably was too much to ask for the nightmares to fade away completely, but surprisingly, the more he healed the more it annoyed him to not be able to rest properly. He was turning into a "whiny ass old man," as Petra liked to parody him sometimes.

A shaky breath escaped his lips as he let go of the tension in his muscles. His consciousness might've been aware that everything was fine, but it always took a while to get rid of that dreadful feeling on the back of his mind. At first, he thought it might've been his Ackerman abilities calling for more blood, like a starving titan doomed to roam the earth in search of more victims, perhaps his body couldn't stop fighting. That story was easier to accept, at least. It was more convenient for him to believe that he had been born that way, instead of acknowledging the ongoing damage his life had been putting him through.

Breathing deeply, he anchored himself to reality by observing everything around him. The wooden furniture stood still against the whitewashed walls, solely decorated by a single porcelain jug with the flowers he'd picked days ago in a timid attempt to make his wife smile.

Petra.

The sole memory of her standing in a long skirt in the middle of that field was enough to make him excited about tomorrow.

Those were hard times for everyone. The end of the war had left far too much resentment and hurt, drowning their world in a permanent state of grief that had left them silent. A stillness that came from all the empty and shattered land like a ghostly echo, aching over those who still remained.

"Remember when we used to dream about a world without titans?"

She told him, looking at the great fields of wheat that laid behind the hill where their cabin stood.

"You know I do," he replied a couple of feet behind her, increasingly pissed with the way the irregularities of the ground hindered the aid of his crutches.

"It made it easier for us… Don't you think so? Dreaming of something," she looked down to the untidy bouquet of wildflowers in her hands.

"I've dreamt of this," he spoke wholeheartedly, deepening his tone a bit.

Petra smiled at him. "I know… And I think I might be wrong for this too, but I feel empowered when I think of the life we can build for ourselves." Her eyes filled with tears as she let those thoughts out. "Maybe it's okay for us to be happy. I need another dream."

"Fine," he had replied, not fully understanding how they would put her idea into practice.

For a little while, they dreamt small. Sometimes they hoped for new tea blends for him, other times of beautiful fabrics to make tablecloths and curtains. It gave them some sense of comfort and control, to have a tiny world of their own.

With a renewed sense of ease, Levi tilted his head to the side to look at the peaceful woman who slept beside him. The still persistent light of the outside made wonders on the silky strawberry blonde flocks scattered over the white sheets. The angles of Petra's face had deepened as she entered her thirties, emphasizing her beauty even more in Levi's eyes.

He took a moment to appreciate the ginger eyelashes, which were often darkened by a soft coat of makeup. Her nails were still as polished as the day they met, always maintaining the elegant almond shape that made her fingers look so dainty.

Levi's naked torso rose as his breath deepened, carried away by the warmth she brought to him. He was so in love with her… He couldn't quite explain the feeling, but if he had to, Levi would probably say he loved her like every moment with her had looked like. Not that it made any sense, but that's as close as he could get.

The sleepy man gently caressed the palm of her hand with his fingers and rested his hand on hers. It was weird to see her so unbothered lately, especially since their small and mundane dreams were eclipsed by a much bigger one.

Ever since Petra found out about the "big deal", as Levi called it, she had been both extremely alert and excited. They surely weren't expecting it after all she had been through, but the symptoms didn't lie. They had to travel to the nearest village in order to see the doctor that delivered the great news. Both of them were dead silent on their way back, wondering how they would deliver a child into such a world. What would they explain to them? Were they even ready for such a step?

Petra had always been fond of children, but after enduring such trauma, it scared her too. It was exciting and terrifying, and something to live for as well. Levi lowered his gaze so he could get a glimpse of her full figure. They were weeks away from the delivery. The house was immaculate, and he had spent months working on a nursery. Luckily, it came out much better than their bed.

The retired Captain got a taste for carpentry shortly after moving to the suburbs with his wife. Apparently one's never too old to learn a new skill, especially when someone is as stubborn and disciplined as he could be. It wasn't always easy with his physical condition, but he managed just fine most of the time. A few months later, he surprised Petra with the news that he was building a bed for them with the guidance of Hange, who didn't hesitate in supplying him with some tools. Great was their surprise when the simple structure gave up during one of their romantic sessions. The way Petra laughed at it still offended him to that day. "You better do a better job with the cradle," she had told him jokingly.

His first creations were far from graceful, but over time he built enough technique to create decent pieces. The cradle might not have had the beauty and sweetness of some of the designs that Petra would have fancied in some stores around the city, but it was strong, austere, everything that baby needed, and everything that Levi had to offer.

Moments after, Petra opened her eyes. "Were you awake the whole time?" Her sleepy voice whispered.

"No," he answered, "I just woke up."

Petra stretched her arms while trying to turn on her back to check the hour on the clock of her nightstand. Her belly was now on full display catching Levi's attention once again.

"So crazy for you to sleep at this hour," she smiled. "I hope you won't stay up all night because of it."

"You know I most likely will."

"Try to rest a bit at least. Hange said they would be coming tomorrow to try on the prosthetics."

With each word, Petra seemed more awake and excited, which was somewhat contagious to him.

Soon after her return, they ran away from Liberio to have a peaceful life in the countryside. Petra's father had moved across the sea soon after the trial as well, so they kept in touch with him as they did with the rest. Hange began living with Onyankopon, and they often came to have tea on Sundays alongside Gabi and Falco.

Even though she always managed to keep her gentle and calm demeanor,
Levi was aware that the adaptation process had been hard for Petra. The first meeting with Gabi had been full of tears and silent bitterness, but she slowly worked her way through it. Sometimes she would sit on the kitchen table next to him and vent for hours about her guilt as he listened quietly. Levi had held her and told her one thousand times that there was nothing to forgive, but Petra's fragile heart had certainly taken its toll after the raid on Liberio.

"I heard everything Irina said," she confessed to him once. "I had already seen so many parents cry and rage towards Erwin after every expedition, but I never really thought it would feel like this, to take accountability for their deaths." She looked him straight in the eye. "How did you survive your squad?"

Talking with Petra was like listening to a softer side of himself. It was admirable, the way she was so willing to feel every single wave of emotion that went through her. They had each other's back, and throughout understanding, they had managed to reach a sense of comfort within each other. Eventually, the mourning gave way to acceptance and finally happiness.

"Are you excited?" She asked, looking at him with her beautiful big eyes.

"About what?" He asked mindlessly, still pulled by all those dancing memories in the back of his head.

"About that thing for your leg! I mean, you manage pretty well with your fingers, but that harness Hange made might make it easier for you to stand without any pain."

"That little fella might ask why his dad looks like he ran into a car and never got rid of the pieces," he tried to joke as he reached for her belly.

Petra snorted as she placed her hands over his. "Is that what you're going to tell them?" She looked at his eyes as they focused on their unborn child.

"I don't know what I'm going to tell them…" He replied after a moment.

"Well, I know what I'd say," she got closer to him. "I'll tell them how you managed to be kind despite everything that went through."

Levi closed his eyes as she caressed his nose with hers. "And what would you say about everything that went through?"

"The truth'' She smiled. "When they're older, of course. I might sugar coat it a bit at first, of course."

Levi raised a brow. "I fear there's not enough sugar left in this country to do such a thing."

"I'm not saying I would lie to them… I will tell them that the world is cruel, but also very beautiful. And we'll set an example about how you can forgive, and move forward."

His eyes locked with hers for a moment. It seemed that she had been thinking about it long and hard before saying those words. He couldn't agree more with her resolution. It was great to see they had easily reached the same conclusion in the end.

"It's settled then, you'll do the talking," he closed his eyes, thankful that she was around to brighten his nights. They kissed softly, their bodies solely separated by her lovely belly.

After some tender moments of laziness, Levi incorporated himself.

"I'm going to make some tea. Do you want an infusion?" He asked.

"Wait…" She said, trying to incorporate herself with difficulty. "I'll go with you."

"Why can't you just lay down?" He rushed to help her, jumping on his good leg. "Come here," Levi hugged her torso as she laughed at her struggle.

"Remind me why the hell did we place our room on the upper floor. Have you seen us?" Petra placed her arms around him.

Levi chuckled. They did look quite helpless indeed. "I'll lend you one crutch."

After putting a shirt on, he helped her to go downstairs. Levi could barely feel the pain on his knee anyway, not when he felt the need to assist her. Once they reached the end of the staircase, he grabbed his wheelchair and invited her to sit on top.

"I hope it won't break with the weight of the three of us," Petra told him as they rolled their way into the kitchen. The window was open, letting in a very pleasant soft breeze, and seeing the way she enjoyed their messiness, Levi managed to prepare both drinks without the need for her to get up.

"Sometimes I wish I could explain these things to our younger selves," she kept on giggling.

"Younger selves? What do you mean? We look great," he smiled and handed her the cup.

The next few months happened very intensely in a way they couldn't quite describe. Petra gave birth to a beautiful boy, and the house was filled with many visitors from the village with whom the new mother had struck up a friendship, dragging the quiet dad with her. Elias almost lived inside that house during the first months of that baby's life. As much as it annoyed Levi, he couldn't complain about grandpa's help. The only person he whined about was Hange, who didn't seem to have any intention of missing a week of Marcel's life either.

As much as he preferred their solitude, it was fair to say that their previous lives as soldiers had accustomed them to the communal life, so that wasn't all that bad either. The truth is that Levi felt somewhat alienated seeing his son grow up with so many people around him. After all, he never knew what it was like to have such a support system, having only one person at a time throughout his childhood. However, a feeling of love and peace filled him at the thought that it was highly improbable for that child to experience the loneliness he had known.

"We must've done something right for him, at least," he often thought to himself.

As the weeks went by, Levi was too distracted by his newborn to notice his nightmares fading. For days, the only thing waking him up was crying at dawn. Luckily for Petra, having such a light-sleeping husband came in handy. Whenever Marcel wasn't hungry, Levi would hold him in his arms to soothe him, often talking to him as well. Her husband's gentleness always managed to move Petra, who remained awake just to watch them be. At times, he got so absorbed in his task that he hardly seemed to notice her presence at all.

One of those nights, a soft whimper awoke them both. The couple had gotten used to sleeping with their baby between them, and Petra was quick to open her eyes to see the chubby pink cheeks of her crying son. Almost immediately, Levi incorporated his back from the bed to shush him.

"What is it, baby?" She lifted her head to caress him as Levi picked him up slowly.

"He needs a change, it seems."

"I can do it. You don't need to always get up for him," Petra spoke tenderly as she got up to follow them.

"Don't worry, we enjoy our little night talks. Don't we Marcel?" He smiled at the tiny child that had already stopped crying.

Once the diaper was changed, Levi laid the baby back between them. The lovely creature had his amber eyes fully opened towards his mom as he tried to grab her hair.

"Why are you so awake now?" Petra whispered with a big smile. "You need to sleep now. Like this. Look." She continued, laying her head back to show him, which only caused the baby to burst out laughing.

"He's not going to sleep if you play with him," Levi covered himself with the blanket.

"Mmmh," she replied, softly caressing Marcel's head. "Maybe a song would help? Do you want a song, my love?"

"Oh… That might do," Levi whispered as he leaned towards him. Making his movements as gentle as possible, he took him in his arms and locked him securely against his chest.

Without losing sight of this, Petra let her head down on the pillow again, breathing calmly as the sweet scene unfolded before her. She appreciated the way his husband's messy hair leaned forward alongside his face. He seemed deeply concentrated while trying to rescue a memory from the corners of his mind. After a moment, Levi started humming a soft melody, getting lost now and then in some of its phrases.

Marcel seemed to be as lost in his dad as Petra was, eventually giving up on slumber. Seeing this, Levi smiled, enjoying the bittersweet warmth inside his chest.

"You know…" Levi whispered as not to wake the baby again. "My mother used this on me-"

He stopped at the funny image of Petra drooling in her sleep. "Damn," he muttered a bit disappointed. "I guess I'll just tell her tomorrow…"

"Hange!" The little boy shouted as he pointed at their guest.

"AAAAAH!" They shrieked with excitement. " Levi, did you hear that!?"

"Calm down, Hange. This little fella is a sponge and I don't want him imitating that attitude of yours."

Petra rolled her eyes and buried a kiss in the chubby cheek of her son. "He's just bitter because Marcel won't stop asking for you," she laughed.

"For real? Do you miss uncle Hange, my baby?"

"How can he ask anything!?" Levi spoke grumpily as he brought more tea. "He only says mom, dad, and Hange."

"He also said Gabi the other day," the brunette girl teased him with a proud smile.

It had been two years since Marcel was born but they still kept their Sunday tea. Falco and Gabi had grown to become a lovely pair, and they came quite in handy when Levi finally decided to open his own tea shop, a project that was soon about to become a reality.

"Aren't you worried about what people in town might say?" Onyankopon asked. "After all, you're always at risk of getting unwanted attention."

"So far people have minded their business around here," Levi replied. "Plus the more we isolate ourselves the more attention we draw at the end."

"Good point," Falco replied, shifting his attention towards Petra. "I'm sure Miss Petra will charm them all anyways."

"Hey-" Levi frowned seriously as the rest of the table laughed.

The lighthearted conversation continued between pastries and laughter. Levi and Petra exchanged glances of amusement once in a while, enjoying seeing each other like that. The mood was so lively that they almost missed the first knocks on their door.

"Are we missing somebody?" Onyankopon asked.

"Not that I know," Petra stood up without letting go of her child. "I will be back in a moment."

"Give him to me," Levi spoke.

"Ugh," Hange mumbled with concern. "Please, give him to me. I think it will be best."

The sudden change in their mood caught them off guard. There was a certain nervousness in their tone.

"Why?" The ginger woman asked, sending a serious glance at her husband.

"Hange, what is going on?" Levi asked.

"Well, now that you say it… Some members of the Corps asked me for your address. I thought they wanted to write to you-," they continued nervously.

"Why the hell didn't you ask us first!?" Levi replied, visibly aggravated.

"Well… I guessed Petra would like to talk to them."

Immediately, the ginger woman rushed towards the door, feeling the aggressive beat of her heart inside her chest. It's not like she hoped for forgiveness, nor to restore the old relationship with her squad, but she still wished to at least talk.

"Petra!" Levi got up with some difficulty and followed her. Given the sudden change in mood, the rest accompanied them just in case.

Fixing her bangs with a nervous gesture, Petra opened the door. Her face was burning with a mixture of anxiety and excitement. The sweet smell of damp fields tingled her nose as soon as she looked outside.

Before her, a short blonde woman with a scar on her upper lip stood immobile. Behind her, Sabah and Hugo carried a bouquet of flowers with some other stuff.

"Lieutenant," the blonde girl spoke. Her new short hair and more mature face had made it hard to recognize her at first.

"Irina?" Petra smiled, with a hint of sadness. "What are you guys doing here?" Her eyes scanned the group. They were all wearing the uniforms of the alliance. It seemed like they didn't stop fighting for freedom after all. However, there was an unknown face alongside them.

"Petra," Levi called her from behind, feeling somewhat disturbed by that encounter.

"It's okay, love." She spoke wholeheartedly before looking back into Irina's afflicted eyes. "I'm open to whatever they have to say."

A regretful smile appeared on the girl's face before she replied. "In that case… There's someone who wants to meet you too."

The squad survivors exchanged conflicted glances as the unknown soldier stepped towards Petra.

The retired Lieutenant breathed in deeply as she felt Levi's hand squishing her shoulder. There was something about that stranger's face that unsettled her. It looked like… It looked like the Female titan.

"Good evening, to both of you," the woman spoke, taking a moment to look at the confused child in Petra's arms. "My name is Annie Leonhart. Although I'm sure you already know who I am..."

Hadn't Levi's hand been so stern against her shoulder, Petra's limbs would have probably faltered.

"I see…" Petra choked back an indescribable emotion. A mix of rage, guilt, and shame filled her as Levi's hand pressed hard against her skin. His support and the little kid in her arms was the only thing that kept her sane at that moment.

A thick, awkward silence took over the next few moments, then Petra turned her face slightly to look at her former Captain. His eyes were full of compassion, though, in his gaze, one could still see the fire of his strength.

"It's your choice," he told her.

Petra took a good glimpse at him before checking on the rest of his guests. They were all waiting for an answer.. Lastly, she looked at her son. The only one who still didn't seem to get the tension of that encounter. Unaffected by it all, Marcel played with his mother's locks. Soon, he would understand the kind of world he had been born into. A world they had fought to make better, or so they wanted to believe.

For him, it was worth a try.

With a gentle nod, Petra removed herself out of the way. "You can come in. All of you."

Annie opened her eyes big and wide as the rest of the people present exchanged some looks of disbelief.

"Ugh… I'll make more tea!" Falco tried to break the ice as he dragged Gabi into the kitchen with him.

"I- I can make more pastries," Hange followed them.

"No you can't-" Onyankopon whispered under his breath and rolled up his sleeves.

With kind gestures, the unexpected guests stepped inside, leaving Petra and Levi alone in the entrance as they made their way into the salon.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Levi spoke, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"I'm sure," she smiled before kissing him with a bit too much eagerness. She was a nervous wreck, but having him there still inspired her even to that day.

They knew that they were not going to heal the wounds of war or enmity with a simple tea. For decades they had been forced to make decisions they couldn't regret nor justify. It was easy to give in to grudges, but letting future generations bear their pain wasn't the answer either. Be that as it may, Petra wanted to have the conviction that this way, they were one step closer to forgiveness.

"All the living are dead and the dead are all living.
The war is over and we are beginning."