WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

9. The Man from Two Worlds 1 - Levi x Petra

The Man from Two Worlds

RaiUlrikka

Summary:

Levi Ackerman wakes up from a coma holding a recollection of a nonexistent universe. He wakes up to a world where everything just felt... a little different.

No.

Entirely different.

He was a CEO of a holdings company. He was a boyfriend to a "dead comrade". He was a brother to another "comrade" and...

His best friend is his "mortal enemy".

Would there be more stranger things to happen?

Notes:

Hi everyone! This is my first attempt at fanfiction that I've been planning for a while now especially after binging on every Levihan story in AO3.

With so many amazing stories that are posted here from time to time, I thought I'll run out of ideas to create this kind of plot. Since AOT characters are already established as they are (with dear Isayama writing some of them off to hurt our feelings), of course, I'd want to play around with their character and develop them in a much favorable universe.

Anyway, this story just came out because I was inspired by TundrainAfrica whose stories you can find here became my weekly dose of sanity.

Please bear with this one. I've written some short stories many years ago out of boredom when I've been in an accident and bound to stay at home for a year. I'm not sure about the writing style though and how the story will progress. Hopefully the gears in my head will keep turning.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

If the sky had music, it would be playing requiem. An amassing cluster of dark clouds hovered above a landscape where it could no longer hold the weight of rain as they perpetually rammed the fields devoid of people—save at least for a horse wagon reined by a green-cloaked man. His figure suddenly spun around to inspect another man—blond—curled up and bound like he was lined up for execution. The latter's current state visibly looked like his mangled body had a few more seconds to live but steams from a growing limb stated otherwise. The mystery was how many times he could grow back a severed body part over and over again. But it was no longer a question as the cloaked man needed no sort of knowledge to learn about their kind. These extraordinary beings are essential to humanity—they were told—but he was always displeased at that thought. The gnawing fact that countless lives were wasted and there was a threat of impending warfare. Unfortunately enough, he was always a witness to these deaths without the time to process his emotions. And now that he had all his reasons to act on his own, whether fulfilling an overdue promise or satiating his hatred, he still had more pressing matters to keep the bastard alive for a little longer.

The blond guy mumbled something about his lost glasses and then suddenly cried about saving humanity—those hopeless yet unfathomable words are what dead men tell. But the cloaked man knew he'd be ensnared into whatever trap this guy was brewing up. He was smart. But what's good about the situation is he has never been outsmarted once. Not fucking once.

Well, almost.

The earlier events were an exception. Yes. He was finally outsmarted at the expense of sending his comrades to their untimely demise. By his own hands. He was a man infamous for exterminating huge and predatory creatures setting the record of being "Humanity's Strongest Soldier" and yet when thirty people all turned into those he was bound to slay—he could only wish he was caught in a bad dream. He regretted every moment of it—his choices and bad decisions—the way he swung his blades over their napes and created a bloodbath just to survive this mess.

He stared down at his malefactor once again to note the regenerating flesh that was coming out of the stump nicely. The spear jutting out of his side was not enough to satisfy his version of brutality. However, its slightest movement gave him a little unease.

Just in case. He unsheathed his sword. He was almost dead set on killing him—grey eyes narrowing about the impressive endurance of this slow torture.

There was a slight jerk. A movement so subtle that could kill in seconds. But there's no way the bastard is going to blow himself off.

And there was the scream. Fuck. The damned string attached around the blond's neck, connecting to the spear's explosives finally kissed its moment as the cloaked man reflexively shielded himself with nothing but the sword in his hand.

It still came down to hell though. He was instantly engulfed by a blinding spark and shockwave, effectively ejecting his small frame off the cart. Every element was cutting through his skin like a thousand razors. Was it survivable enough when the weapon's main objective was to kill those creatures that were ten times the size and strength of a human being?

It was a desperate suicide plan. And he was dragged into it. Shit.

And even before recollecting his thoughts that were shattered like shards all at once, he felt his own body landing smack to god-knows-where. He fucked up and that's for sure. As he kept deflecting the threat of losing consciousness, he tried to feel his own body once again. This time, there was nothing to feel anymore. Not even the jets of water washed off the blood that covered the entirety of his face.

He braced himself at the realization then, I am a dead man. The end came anyway.

He jolted out of bed from a seemingly bad dream that ran for eternity. He wasn't new to nightmares, but the dream that flashed in his memory was something that surely happened in the past. His surroundings which appeared too blinding forced him to collapse back on the mattress and close his eyes once more just to piece back the memories of the explosion.

Has he lived? Looks like it.

He relished the thought of being alive but at what cost? The first thing that came to mind was the initial pain he felt when the cart was blown off. He carefully moved his hands and threaded them on his face. He lightly fingered the curves, contours, and grooves of what could have been there that may have probably gone missing or damaged. But he could blink both his eyes and his vision—though struggling at a blurry start—was still fine. His facial skin was smooth yet dry. A disillusioned thought caved in that stitches and scars were marring his face but he could not deny that he felt otherwise. Strangely enough, no stinging sensation was felt.

He took a moment to stay still and argue with the idea that he was not injured. Nervously, he proceeded to study his hands and fingers.

Nothing is missing. His digits were all in place and very much intact. But how did he suddenly come up with memories that he was in pretty bad shape? Even dying? That he will be in the worst state being the lone survivor of a population that was doomed to go extinct? He sighed and dismissed the stray thoughts again. It must be a head concussion or something that led to his messed-up brain patterns.

He decided to sit up despite his sluggish condition. After all, he was the soldier who refused to waste time and get his missions done right off the bat at the summon of an order. He knew he had the uncanny strength to recover half the time of an average soldier and this regenerative ability was part of being in a special bloodline. He knew he had unaccomplished tasks and spending more time in bed would only lead to rising numbers of dead bodies that he never planned on stacking up any further. Think! What was the last memory that was registered in him?

What are his plans? He should be making a move at the soonest time.

In a rush, he slid off the covers, jumped off the bed, and planted his feet on the floor. His legs felt weak—the weakest they had been and reality unfolded before his eyes as he surveyed his surroundings. He let the moment pass as some kind of sorcery was cast upon his wakened self. Every fucking thing looked peculiar.

This is not reality.

The walls were white. The room itself was immaculate, pristine, and smelled of a pleasant yet unfamiliar clean scent. He took in the windows that were made of polished steel and glass, enabling the sun rays to stream in for warmth. But what surprised him most was the array of strange equipment surrounding his bed. A few tubes made themselves known as they were either entangled or embedded in him. The thought of being actually trapped in a torture chamber had him disruptively yanking off the knots and cables in a panic. A beeping sound erupted nearby and he jumped in surprise. Sweat started to collect on his forehead, beading like bullets.

"The fuck… are these?" His confusion was already turning into a rage and even before he could swing a leg to kick the scandalous beeping box, the door swung open to reveal a woman who mirrored his reaction. Her hair was reddish-orange and parted neatly on one side. She was holding a paper bag on one arm and had her other hand flying right to her agape mouth. There was a shine in her eyes that suggested she was about to cry.

This is definitely not reality...

The recognition was immediate though. "Petra?" his brows furrowed as he eyed her from head to toe. His memory of her began settling in as he stepped back like she had a knife under her sleeve.

"Levi… you're awake…" Her tone was soft and concerned. Petra stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. The way she mentioned his name was something he was not fond of. The salute was missing. His title was missing. "God… oh my god! H-how… when…"

She carefully placed her loot on a nearby table and looked at him intently. She was finally sure of the miracle in front of her and not seeing things. "This… this… How are you feeling? Anything hurts or—why are you suddenly out of your bed? You shouldn't be walking around…"

Only a few questions had him thinking that there were already a hundred being thrown all at once. His hand automatically shifted to his head as he looked away from her. How the hell is Petra attending to him right now? But she was long gone… she was…

Petra came forward to caress his arm which was bleeding from a needle he deliberately forced out of him a while ago. "Did you just pull everything out? You're not allowed to do that…"

"Don't touch me!" His eyes were feral.

Petra jumped back like she had touched a flame.

"You, you… gotta be fucking kidding me!" In fact, this whole scenario is! "You couldn't be alive today! I saw your body smashed under that tree... and everyone… they're…" Levi could barely articulate his words. His eyes were confused but accusing.

"What?" she scoffed, almost laughing but hurt. "You couldn't be implying that I'm dead. I know we haven't settled that thing between us and I'm sorry it ended up like this. But Levi… you don't have to make up stories that… oh my god." It hit her. "Wait Levi, hey… you recognized me first, right? You know me. It's Petra, ok? I heard you say that. And you're Levi. Your name is Levi. You are not somebody else, okay? It's… it's fine to act that way. You're out for a very long time now. I understand. Please calm down. We're gonna get you some help. Just be still." She was muttering incoherently while emotionally accepting that the man in front of her was not in his best mental state.

I'm Levi.

Of course, I am Levi-fucking-Ackerman being thrown into a shitty ploy of the devil. He must be dreaming. Yes, this was just a dream that appeared way too real. A dream he'd want to sleep in again and the moment he woke up he might find himself somewhere worse and undesirable than what he had to deal with today. And that will be more acceptable.

"Stay away!" His scream had Petra frozen in her heels.

"Levi?" Tears were forming in her eyes. "What's going on? Can't you remember anything?"

I clearly remembered everything, damn it! "I was in a cart. Pulled by two horses… it was raining and I was talking to Zeke. The thunder spear went off and…"

"You've been in an accident, Levi." Horror was already evident on Petra's face. "There's no such thing…"

"I had other things to do! The military was taken over by a fucking faction. The Scouts' plan was fucked up, we are tricked by the Jaegers…" His ramblings were gibberish. "I need to do something!"

The incessant nonsense from his mouth was further curtailed upon the click of the door to announce another person entering the room. The creaking sound as it slowly swung open had both Levi and Petra staring in mixed reactions. Relief was drawn from Petra's and disbelief from Levi's.

"Zeke, thank god you're here…" Petra looked like she was about to hyperventilate.

"A goddamn miracle…" the blond, bespectacled doctor did a double-take that agitated Levi. He paused, scrunched his forehead, and had the most emotional expression that confused the shorter guy.

"The goddamn miracle is that you're still alive, you fucking beast. We're not done yet! I'm gonna kill you!" Levi growled and suddenly lunged towards the doctor, tackling him to the floor and sending both of them stumbling in the hallway. The scene caught the attention of some nurses as Zeke tried to subdue the aggressive man.

"Levi! What the hell are you doing?! It's Zeke! What's gotten into you?!" His hands grappled Levi's wrists. "Can't you recognize me?!"

"I fucking know you, you bearded bastard! This was your entire plan! You put me into this trickery…" Levi bared his teeth like a rabid animal.

"Sedate him!" Zeke called out and suddenly, men in white came rushing in, breaking off the tiff and untangling Levi on top of him. He was being pinned down like a captive.

Levi saw a syringe in front of his eyes and yelped as he felt the pricking pain traveling into his muscles. "You can't turn an Ackerman into a titan you fucking moron! Is this a new experiment of yours, Zeke?!"

Zeke straightened up and fixed his tie. His glasses were broken and his eyes displayed shock. Petra stood behind him with tears finally flowing from her eyes.

"He'll be fine, Petra. Christ," Zeke brushed a stray strand of hair off of his forehead. "What's with that strength? He's practically from a vegetative state and I feel like I've wrestled a bull."

"Please Zeke, I'll never forgive myself if he'll end up like that…"

"He's down. He's finally losing consciousness!" One nurse announced.

"Easy, easy now…" Hushed voices spread through Levi's ears. "You're fine. You're fine."

The voices were starting to fade in his ears as minutes passed. Levi lost control of his body as he became numbed and helpless. The arms that locked his limbs loosened their grip as he lay motionless but kept his groggy vision aware of the events. Most people are wearing white, and the hallways were all bright but what did not sink into his knowledge was the fact that the place was too foreign to process. He recognized two people almost instantly but they acted like they were living in another world. Or was he the one displaced?

This shit was incomprehensible.

And for the second time he is losing consciousness, he mutters a silent wish that he'll wake up to the world he once knew.

There are voices again. So many of them that he could only pick up a few phrases that only played on repeat.

He is dead.

Let me put a bullet in his head.

Quick! Call an ambulance!

He's barely unconscious!

Hey, can you hear me? You with me? Hang on!

Levi, are you… alive?

His eyes flew open as his ears could not take the noise anymore. The voices stopped, yet one registered in his brain clearly. Are you alive? The sound was familiar, panicky, and it was accompanied by a movement of arms cradling his limp body. The act was so swift, as he felt like being dragged and lifted and thrown into a river. It was quite a spin and a struggle. The arms that held him didn't let go as they clutched him like a fragile infant. The raging currents swallowed him whole and yet the arms held closer, pressing their body on him. He could not recall breathing, and yet there was a flow of air that eased his burning lungs. He let that body take control as he trusted it was acting as his other half with the conviction of surviving this chaos. He could not think. He could not act. His monster-of-an-instinct betrayed him but why does it feel like he is entrusting his life to someone? Amidst the freezing sensation and crushing pain, there was warmth and comfort.

He was back in the same white room that earned his disgust. The sight alone was deplorable as he saw the same display of strange equipment lining up when he turned his head to one side. There was a fresh needle embedded on his other arm as the previous one left a swollen and bruised mark on it. He sighed and cleared his head. For a moment, he thought he was calm and collected.

"You're awake." There came a monotonous female voice.

Levi turned his head to the other side to see a young woman sitting comfortably on a couch with a book in one hand. Her hair was short and black and her pale complexion complemented her all-black ensemble. She stood up and marched towards him with a suspecting look.

"I believe it's not my funeral yet?" Levi started. He thumbed his temples and looked away.

"Why? Do you wish it was?" the girl asked smugly. "We won't need the coroner yet but I believe I might need Pastor Nick to exorcise you."

"Mikasa," Levi droned off. "The hell are you talking about?"

"Am I not hearing things? You know me? You're not gonna hurt me?" Mikasa raised her eyebrows. "Great. I was already thinking of handcuffing you in your sleep for a while now… you know, just in case your demon would come out and I won't have any second thoughts about tossing you out of the window."

This girl. Levi felt another forming headache. He sat up on the bed and rubbed his head. In his hazy memory, the Mikasa he remembered wielded two swords and had impressive agility on the battlefield. Whatever she was fighting was still unclear to him but he saw blood spatters in his vision as he delved deeper into those images. He may not be on good terms with her at some point but she definitely has grown on him. He observed her and softened at the obvious apprehension on her face. It was strange—her usual stoicism and dark humor did not match her actions at the moment. Her presence upon regaining his consciousness only entails a filial connection between the two of them that in the event of him losing all his memories, this girl will always have a place in them. He was sure she was not just someone else. And he was sure she could be trusted.

She grew quiet which surprised him. She bowed her head low, bangs covering half of her face as she refused to show reaction. Her book dropped to the floor but she stood still. Her body was suddenly trembling as her lips curled fighting off a surge of emotions.

"You…" Mikasa's eyes were welling with tears. "You have no idea what you've put me into!"

Levi, on the other hand, was lost on her but at the same time apologetic. He could trace her anguish but could not react accordingly. His current condition has caused this unrest but he needed enlightenment. Just one goddamn memory of what has happened prior to his downfall so he could at least piece back every shard of memory that was misplaced.

"I'm… sorry…" That was all he could say being clueless about what he was apologizing for. His eyes were lifeless and blank and before he could utter another word, Mikasa grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into an embrace. He swore she was crying hysterically as her remorse had already sounded through his ears. She held him tighter like he rose from the dead and he could not help but wonder about one memory of her being the same way with another person, only that her affection towards him was a little more different.

His hand found its way to the back of her head as he ruffled her hair gently. "It isn't like you to act this way around me, Mikasa. Whatever happened to the girl who wants to throw me out of the window in case I get possessed again?"

"Are you really okay now?" Mikasa pulled away as she inspected his face. "You looked even more terrible than before and to think all you do is sleep the whole time!"

Levi shook his head absent-mindedly and Mikasa held herself anxiously. She wiped some tears from her eyes. "You don't remember? Not anything?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure how much I remember," he faltered. "How long… was I out?"

"Eight weeks in a coma. Your vitals are fine that's why we just can't perform euthanasia. It's like, you intended to put yourself in deep and extended slumber. In the first few weeks, you're attached to a ventilator to assist your breathing but over time you are improving and breathing on your own. Zeke ran a PET scan to see the metabolism of your neurons and he was confident you'll soon wake up. He was right then. He's been with us the whole time and keeps you well-tended and monitored."

"No way…" Levi could tell by his weakened self. He is shocked that he was in fact brain dead for too long but he is more than shocked to know that Zeke kept him alive.

"But you remembered me, right? You recognized your own sister?" Mikasa sounded hopeful.

Sister. There was no denying it but suddenly, it felt weird. "Of course, I remember you, dork." Levi's hooded eyes tried not to look pathetic.

"But you lashed out at Petra. Poor girl was crying all morning and Zeke was now wary of making rounds here," Mikasa told him. "You made a scandal. I was told how you tackled Zeke on the floor that they need to break you apart and tranquilize you. It's… terrible."

"I've been meaning to kill him ever since his plans have gone to hell. You saw that! Save humanity, my ass. He has no place in this world, Mikasa." Levi huffed. "With Petra… I feel sorry but is she… for real?"

Mikasa stared at him incredulously. "Are you being sarcastic? Because that ain't funny."

Levi was surprised by his own words as well. Zeke and Petra were part of his life and he is aware of it but why does it feel that those two people don't even match Mikasa's fondness for them?

"I… Mikasa, you said I've been asleep for two months. Wha—what happened before that? How did I end up here?"

"This will take a whole day. I'd rather Zeke tell you everything because he's the last person you're with."

"So he's responsible for this! I knew it! That fucker!" Levi's angst has returned not surprisingly.

"Hey easy, Levi! No, it wasn't Zeke! The hell are you talking about?! He's actually the one who saved you. You messed up your life. You've been messing it up for weeks. Zeke didn't leave your side. You're a total wreck those times that I can't even control you!" Mikasa exclaimed. "One night, you were so drunk that Zeke was chasing after you but a speeding car got derailed and that's how it got you here. It was a miracle you survived."

That's nowhere near what I remembered. Levi's head was spinning again. The amount of information he has heard and the way it contradicted his beliefs only magnified the gaps in his mind. His hands ran through his hair and clutched at it tightly like he'd tear off his scalp. Why those strange memories? Whose memories are those?

"Levi?" Mikasa grabbed his arm as if snatching him back from his trance. "I'm sorry. I should have known better. You need to rest."

"I'll be fine," Levi assured her. "Just… I can't remember some stuff. It's a bit hazy I couldn't even recall what I do for a living."

"You're the CEO of our company, in case that might ring a bell."

What the fuck is a CEO? Levi's headache worsened. Am I not called Squad Captain?

"Chief Executive Officer? You know…"

"Okay. Yeah," he lied. He really is fucked up.

"Okay. I won't say anything anymore. I don't want to burden you with too much information," Mikasa sighed. "Zeke will be here soon. Please be nice to him. He's the right person to talk to right now. He's a doctor and of course, your best friend."

"A what?!" Levi gagged.

"Best friend. Buddies?" Mikasa said matter-of-factly. A tone of disbelief escaped her lips. "Geez, Levi. You are scarier than before all this."

In Levi's memory, Zeke was extremely despicable. At every opportunity, his blades would always come in contact with Zeke's flesh-a satisfying sight of his blood spattering everywhere. For whatever reason he wasn't even sure of, there was an unidentified feeling of hate seething in his chest at each encounter with the blond man. Some blurry images of a giant monkey, a group of soldiers turning into man-eating giants, and a cart blowing off, Levi wished he could patch up those intrusive memories that pestered his waking hours. As he grew tired of overthinking, his attention turned to survey his room and those strange things that he saw upon waking up were slowly registering in his brain. The hospital bed, cardiac monitors, ventilator, IV tubes, and all else are all present for a patient under intensive care. Has he truly gone through an extended period of dormancy? But given that he was earlier called for tests, brain scans, and some standard check-ups, he's grown a little worried that his current state was even worse. Hell, as if having strange memories is not worse enough.

Mikasa stayed in his room the entire day browsing her phone and did not talk as much because Zeke ordered her to. The stressors would come from too much information and Levi was not in his best shape to process things. The young woman has observed a few strange things in him—not that he has entirely turned into a different person but he was a little out of character. He asks for black tea more than the usual blue-colored sodas that he used to drink twice the amount of required fluids in his system. He keeps cussing more than he can speak decency. His usual love for books got him suddenly disinterested and ended up staring outside the window watching the movement of clouds.

Zeke came around in the evening with the results in his hand. He simply stood at the edge of Levi's bed with Mikasa on watch. His presence was unusually irritating to Levi but to scorn individuals for no valid reason was still pretty normal to some people. The two remained silent for a minute straight but their death glares toward each other tensed up the only girl in the room.

"You're not gonna kill each other, okay?" Mikasa finally interrupted, breaking the ice.

Zeke chuckled with a bemused smile. He raised his arms "I am unarmed! You can frisk me, Levi."

Levi frowned but was not in the mood to bark back.

"How are you feeling?" Zeke asked, one hand in his pocket.

"Better." The response was short and bored as Levi looked away.

"Uh-hm," Zeke cleared his throat and smiled brightly. "We'll take this slow, Levi. You've just practically come out of the void which is understandably a strenuous mental journey especially since we might need to put you in a program to evaluate your condition and then start from there."

"Get to the point, beardy. Are you sending me to a nuthouse?"

"Levi!" Mikasa castigated him.

Beardy? Cute. Zeke tried to contain himself. "That's not necessary and you're not a bad case. I'd feel bad if you turn out to be but it's safe to say home is your best institution. Lovely, right?"

Levi sighed in resignation.

"It's too early to identify. Apart from that eventful scene between us earlier, there's nothing wrong with your brain scans. It's not surprising though since when you slipped into a coma, your brain images were fine except you remained unconscious and unresponsive for a long period. However, I can't dismiss the theory that there's a brain concussion that resulted in some dissociative disorder in your behavioral patterns. It was something new than the usual case of people getting confused but not being violent. But it's too early to discuss those matters yet as I'm not gonna exhaust your mental capacity. So please help yourself too, Levi. In a few days, we'll gradually start some psychotherapy sessions and I highly recommend you participate in the program. This is the first time I am focusing on something that's beyond me and neuroscience. I might need to observe you, your motor skills, speech patterns, cognitive skills, implicit and explicit memories, and your behavior. At least the headstart was that you're communicative and intelligible enough—well, to a stranger, no one would guess what's wrong. Mikasa as your family will also take part as she can pinpoint the changes in your character. This is for your own good."

Bullshit. Levi thought. He eyed Zeke uncharacteristically but admittedly saw a genuine and sincere look that was all new to him. He has already accepted that he might have a few loose screws after the accident but what really bothered him most are the excessive and stray thoughts that imparted a memory that stimulated his current actions. His unidentified hate towards Zeke was one; his impassiveness towards Petra was another. But he knows it's too early to trace why he had those emotions. He is aware that he had lost a huge chunk of memory, specifically some events in reality. What's weird was those events were masked by his "unwanted visions", dictating a rather different scenario that carried him to an alternate universe where he plays a different role. It feels like two worlds are running in his mind and he does not know how to act around them. The last thing he wanted was to personify dualities. Such a situation is mentally exhausting.

"There's another thing... your strength was atypical for someone who slept for weeks and there's no atrophied muscle," Zeke said.

"What does it mean?" Mikasa asked.

"His weeks of unconsciousness and inactivity may result in muscle atrophy-it's a decrease of muscle size, especially on the legs and I haven't realized it until he attacked me. I knew I had people tend to him from time to time and they probably missed that unchanging state. We need to observe his physical activities in a few days and see if there are changes. Maybe the strength came from adrenaline rush... or maybe it's something science has yet to discover. As of now, him waking up from a coma like a normal and fit person but having strange memories looked like the biggest mockery in my life as a doctor," Zeke said.

Levi just stared at nothing in particular.

"Levi?" Zeke snapped him out of his daydream. "Please be honest with how you feel on a physical scale. We'll get to the memory gaps later..."

Maybe his old memories will come back. Maybe those unwanted visions are temporary. "I feel fine. That's all I can say for now," Levi said.

"You're scheduled for release two days from now. Onwards, we'll help you reconnect again with the world. We'll take it slow. And a little fun."

Fun? Is Zeke really a doctor or someone who will turn his situation worse than it already is? He carefully eyed the blondie's cheery disposition and tried to pry a hint of trickery but ultimately failed at that. As Zeke stepped forward and extended a hand, Levi reluctantly took it and gripped it for a handshake.

"Let me introduce myself again, Levi—in case you really have forgotten all about me. I'm Zeke Jaeger, you knew me by my medical degree and as the boy who shared your fancy dorm in college. You never really paid attention to my profession because you see me as your best friend, drinking buddy, brother…well, we never talk much about me being a doctor or you being that bigwig mad hatter. We play golf, we go to equestrian and car races, and we do yacht sailing. Isn't it cute? That's how our friendship goes."

"Doesn't make sense…" Levi droned. "And I'm already disgusted with my old self."

Mikasa flinched.

Zeke laughed. "It's a little complicated, Levi. It is way harder on my part to adjust given that you are someone I'm fond of and I will be compelled as a neurologist to carry out my duty—even going to great lengths to act both as your best friend and doctor. Maybe it's written in the stars huh? In the worst-case scenarios, we are destined to get stuck with each other. Currently, I am the best guy for you to hang around with other than your sister. It's bad news for you but there are no other options."

"Sucks to be in your shoes?" Levi asked stoically.

"I've dealt with your worst version so no worries. I can deal with a few bottles breaking in my skull. Trust me, Levi. I'd rather deal with you and your memory gaps than your drunk self."

"Sounds like a creepy love story."

"The love is in challenges. And I'm sure I'll go easy on you." There was a glint in Zeke's eyeglasses that says he is enthused and more than capable of taming the wildest of the beasts that was his best friend.

Levi, are you alive?

That fucking voice again. Levi groaned upon waking up the next day at the mysterious voice that served as his alarm clock. His eyes were trained at the ceiling while his mind powered up like he was about to lose some memories again had he failed to recollect the events prior. Yes, he was a guy straight up from a coma and only had a few memories stored in his head. There were stray thoughts that he could not acknowledge but could not dismiss either as they might be significant during his recuperation period. At least he was still a thinking person and not mentally incapacitated. His memories shall be restored, in due time.

"Good morning, Levi!" Petra sidled up to his side which scared the hell out of him. What's with her? There was awkwardness on his part. As far as he can recall, this woman treated him with subtlety and respect.

Petra noticed his stiffness and restrained herself. "I'm sorry. I know you still felt uncomfortable around me after everything."

Levi was eclipsed by guilt. He could not help but gawk at the memory of her lifeless and smashed body under a tree. Why she was there, he could barely recall. There was also a clear vision of her corpse being thrown off a speeding horse wagon. The sunset at that very moment was at its most colorful, most beautiful. But it should display itself the other way. Demise should call for a storm, not for a glorious spectacle. He was fueled with adrenaline and rage but all he could do is helplessly watch that haunting scene. At one point, there was this man who introduced himself as her father but Levi was too spaced out to digest the revelation that Petra had indeed a little "something" for him. It was never realized. Feelings and relationships are not exactly forbidden but as soldiers, they are dutifully compelled to prioritize humanity more than anything else. More than their own happiness. The world he knew was laced with cruelty and brutality and he has managed to live in it and move forward. Happy endings are a rarity. To lose a sense of compassion is what he had been mastering for too long but to say he succeeded was a lie he was trying to cover with an expressionless and unsmiling face. He was hurting. Always was. But not once he had shed a tear. He is probably best at off-putting it.

But here was Petra very much alive. She was the first person he saw upon waking up and the way he acted towards her was very much of an asshole. Neither Mikasa nor Zeke have told him anything yet about his relationship with her. In fact, they were still mum about the important details to rev up his memory. It's still too early, they say.

"I prepared you some breakfast. The hospital's food might not suit your taste," Petra said ecstatically and grabbed a tray from the side table.

Levi looked at the food that probably took hours to prepare. Petra had managed to bake cookies and glaze them with words: Get Well Soon. There was a nice mix of vegetables on one saucer and sliced fruits on another. Two slices of grilled chicken breasts garnished with lemon sauce, nuts and herbs sat beautifully on a bigger plate. A glass of freshly squeezed orange juice sparkled just at the foray of sunlight.

"Breakfast?" Levi doubted it was something that doesn't look "light" enough to start the day.

"Oh, sorry!" Petra giggled. "I just wanted you to replenish the nutrition you've lost. So I thought you might need these. I mean, look at you."

Levi has yet to see his own reflection. Would he even recognize himself if he tried? He could picture a scary little demon staring back at him but he warded off the imagination. It could not be the best time to concern himself with his physique.

"Thank you," Levi murmured and took a fork to taste the entree. It was then he noticed his pale complexion through his veiny hand.

Petra had been fixated on him as he ate the food. He was unbothered by her uneasiness as if she was expecting a reaction from him. As hardened as he was, he resumed his eating while ostracizing her presence.

"So this is what you really want, huh?" Petra scoffed. "Well played, Levi. I know it didn't end well for us but you can't just act like you don't remember everything. I know I've caused so much hurt in you but don't try to make it look like I was nobody in your life right now."

Levi froze. What do you even mean? He scowled at her words and the way they were delivered. As he re-evaluated himself while fumbling through the channels of memory that may be hiding somewhere in the depths of his consciousness, he decided to settle on the idea that both of them may have an intimate past. "You don't mean we…"

Petra had a perplexed look on her face. She frantically grabbed a phone from her pocket and opened her photo gallery. She shoved it right in front of his face and it revealed several pictures of them being together. "What is really going on? Can't you remember a thing? There are us being together! How absurd that you have mentioned my name the time you woke up but don't hold a bit of our past?!"

I wish I knew what was really going on. Yes, he recognized Petra but in a different recollection. His only knowledge of her existence and relationship with him was far different from the circumstance he was currently in. Oh, how he wished he could answer her without drawing tears in her eyes but fuck, he could only helplessly behave like an idiot.

"Look, I'm really sorry. T-This hell is something I don't even want to wake up to. I wish I could tell everything but my mind is a totally blank canvas—save some specks of memory that's like from a different timeline. It was fucking crazy. Or maybe I was crazy! That's the fact." Levi was always ineloquent but he tried hard to soothe his way towards a frustrated Petra. She was tacitly desperate for an answer. "I'm sorry if I caused you so much trouble—dropping by just to be upset at my current state. Petra I-I'm a fucking mess today and we don't know for how long. That's all I can say."

Petra composed herself and silently wept. "No, I'm sorry. It was me. It was me all along."

Levi was already braced for the disclosure. His eyes traveled to her trembling form.

"I turned down your marriage proposal before this. You threw a fit over that and it ran for two weeks. I feel bad. Really bad. I feel sorry that I even disregarded Mikasa and Zeke who tried their best to get me to reconsider the situation. You haven't done anything wrong. I mean… maybe I was just overwhelmed by this relationship—all the affection. You are a good guy and I fucked up. Guilt is eating me up, you see. And it's even worse to see you there on your bed being unresponsive for weeks. Each day, I wish I could see your eyes open again. You have no idea, Levi… I want to make up with you…"

Levi nodded vacantly and took a bite of the fruit. Afterwards, he nibbled the vegetables and the chicken. He languidly savored every taste but none seemed to boost his appetite. "Don't feel burdened. I'd rather you move on without the guilt of causing my misfortune. It's not all on you. I may be at fault too. Things happen. This happened. Things are just the way they are right now. We all have regrets, but don't let them linger and overstay within you for too long. Otherwise, that will always affect your life choices."

It isn't like him at all. Levi will always be the conservative type of person who will never talk about life like he had read enough self-help books with philosophical views. Petra was dumbstruck by that realization. But it agitated her further with the way he was picking at his food and sacking her gaping drama. Would she be relieved that he turned nonchalant and dismissive and made her feel that the score has been settled? All because he had lost his memories? Ridiculous.

"I don't know what to make of you. It would be believable that you really lost it if you just didn't call me by my name…" Petra said, still convinced that Levi just plays it tough.

The door suddenly opened as Zeke barged in with a paper cup of coffee in his hand. He saw Petra's red-rimmed eyes and he was certainly not born yesterday to assume Levi was the cause.

"Is it too much to break a lady's heart this early morning, huh Levi?" Zeke was mocking and yet he knows he can't induce a reaction from Levi. Petra bowed her head abashedly.

"It's fine, Zeke. I'm just being overdramatic." Petra tried hard to hide her emotions. She forced a smile. Uncharacteristic smile.

"Levi's not in the best shape to entertain your concerns." Zeke must have read the situation. His mood changed precipitously. "I already instructed you not to say anything. At least not yet. It's been only two days, Petra."

"I'm—I'm sorry. It's… it can't be helped." Petra took a step backward and clasped her phone with both her hands. "I thought he's just deliberately acting like…"

"There's no such thing," Zeke cut her off that surprised Levi. "If you think he's faking it then you must be also doubting my diagnostics. I am his doctor today and not the best friend who can always come up with schemes in his favor. Levi is obviously not well. Don't aggravate his situation any further. For him to be sucked in a black hole where he'd be entrapped forever is the last thing we all want to happen."

Levi eyed Zeke closely and surmised the amount of boldness and objectiveness to an alleged "friendship' he was never familiar with. It was the weight of condescending expressions that attempted its way to re-gain Levi's trust all over again. As his gaze went over to Petra, he felt the dryness in his throat. He could no longer remember how his words moments ago put her in so much distress. But why the hell he doesn't feel anything? Why can't he process empathy? Why all of a sudden—it feels like every person he saw and called by their names were just mere people he would have cared less about?

"I understand. I'm sorry." Petra nodded and mustered a smile before turning at the door. "Eat the rest of your breakfast, Levi. I hope you liked it… I prepared it myself."

"Thank you, Petra," Levi said slowly, his eyes still blank.

Petra acknowledged his thanks with a nod but his strangeness was more unsettling. Her exit, however, lightened the atmosphere.

"I thought I was the asshole here," Levi told Zeke wryly, looking at the sealed door.

"Just so you know, we used to outrank each other in the asshole department," Zeke winked.

"And I handed it to you this time," Levi hissed. Strangely enough, he hated to admit that he was slowly warming up to this man named Zeke.

"I should have known better that Petra might be a little distraction. I'm sorry. I allowed her to talk to you but given the situation, I guess she isn't helping."

"I don't mind her talking. What I hate was seeing her cry in between words," Levi trailed off. "She's a nice person…"

"She's the reason why you went to a bar that ill-fated night, cracked a bottle in my skull then took off drunkenly, almost picking up fights along the way," Zeke said sarcastically. "And afterwards you slipped into a coma, gave me and everyone around you the best day of our lives And she's a nice person."

Levi paused and placed back the fork on his plate. He simply stared at the half-eaten food. "Do I need to do something about it?"

Zeke was more than baffled of his own self now. He certainly regretted his rudeness towards Petra and the tidbit of revelation that he carelessly slipped out of his tongue. He's apparently a pissed-off friend today, not his doctor. "Maybe I'm being overly protective. I just need you to be surrounded by trustworthy people. Not that I distrust Petra but we don't want to trigger the root cause of your trouble and put you in a more incurable situation. But it's too early to tell. Petra can either worsen or put your memories back together. We'll never know."

How is Petra "trouble" when all Levi remembered was Zeke creating every bit of trouble in that world? His head throbbed at the surfacing memory of this blond man in his mind again but he achingly knew those thoughts are irrelevant to his existence today.

"I am fine to learn whatever's happened in the past," Levi said sullenly. "As for Petra, I can start to learn all about her again."

Zeke's eyes went wide, almost feeling sorry for Petra. "As of the moment, can't you really feel anything for her?"

Levi shook his head emptily. "I honestly don't feel anything. I don't know... maybe because I lack the memory? She was my partner as her story implies and maybe before this, I was crazy about her but today… I'd be more comfortable without her company."

"Is this what you want? Are you fine without having to retrieve those memories so you can live your life normally?"

"If those memories come back then so be it. But for now, I'd rather not struggle to change myself all of a sudden. I don't want to pretend like the person I was before then act like nothing happened."

"You sound very accepting of your situation. Do you feel like you're a different person now?"

Levi sighed. "You tell me, Zeke. Was I different now?"

Zeke was amused to hear Levi talk indifferently—almost mechanically than the way he would before. "You're still Levi to me with strange behavior. Honestly, I wouldn't go down to conclude you're any different from the person I knew. Like I always say, it's still too early. Maybe we'll progress in a few days and everything will settle in time. I guess our therapy sessions would include a lot of storytelling. Let's just narrow down individuals who are allowed to talk to you without having to strain you with too much information. Your mind processor's a little fucked up, perspectively speaking."

"So you and my sister?"

"Exactly." Zeke nodded.

"As much as I hate it but do I have a choice?"

"Anyone else you have in mind?"

Levi was suddenly deep in thought. He tried counting names. There was Petra but he knew Zeke would cross her out on the list. And then, he could no longer recall anyone he personally knew. Fuck.

"I… shit. I can't recall anyone yet besides you, Mikasa, and Petra," Levi stared blankly at Zeke.

Zeke took a scrutinizing look at him and took a sip of coffee. "There must be something wrong with your recognition and recollection. Your temporal lobe is in good shape but needs a little juggling. You automatically recognized three people and said their names but you don't hold much episodic memory of them—or perhaps, a memory that contradicts the actuality. Your frontal lobes obviously are still high-functioning and intact because you speak normally—except the cussing in between. So semantic memory should be fine. Hmm… This case of yours will need more of my time. Will go through the scans again and maybe do some standard check-ups and need thorough research-" Zeke rambled on.

"Don't talk like a goddamn scientist treating me like a fucking specimen."

"Oh, that's another. No wonder Petra was upset." Zeke was pointing an index finger at him mockingly. "You had a very creative tone for sarcasm."

"Just… just give me a fucking break. You behave like you can make diamonds out of charcoal. Why do I have the feeling like talking to you will worsen my condition?"

"Oh Levi, we talked more often than you do with yourself." Zeke was almost laughing. "I know the new Levi hated me so much for some strange reason but I feel like the old you would be jealous because I'll give the new you my full attention."

"Yeah, right." Levi agreed half-heartedly. His eyes traveled to the windows and took in the morning light that bathed the room. He noticed eight potted flowers lining up the sill. They were all withered and neglected but at the same time vying for attention. Has nobody even bothered cleaning them up to replace with fresh ones? The thought was already unnerving him.

"Flowers huh? Has Mikasa ever noticed they're all dried up?" Levi deadpanned.

"Ah, those." Zeke rubbed his beard. "They're pansies. You recognize pansies?"

"I guess so."

"Well, no one's really coming here with flowers. I mean, you don't like flowers."

"Why don't I?"

"Hell knows. As much as I know about you, you really don't pay attention to flowers so people—however they love you won't be bothered by sending you one. That's until Mikasa showed up one day with a pot of pansies and said that someone was actually sending them to the nurse station to give it to you."

"They probably got the wrong patient."

"No, it was really for you."

"Who the hell would send me flowers?"

"As much as I heard, the mysterious person comes around every week. Since the time you were down, they were consistent in sending pots over that period. That's very thoughtful of them but I wish they would come up with a name or something. Must be your fan."

"No shit. As if I was popular enough."

"But you are. It's not even blown out of proportion."

"Tch." Levi waved it off.

"Maybe you had a secret lover I'm not aware of?" Zeke chuckled. "Kidding aside, you really need a lot of learning to do. Perhaps let's start by reading current events, and going through magazines or novels that may pique your interest. Then we'd see your family, friends… anyone close to you."

"Not in a hurry, huh?"

"Real slow, man. If it's too much for you to handle, we can take a break. I am not a bad doctor."

Right. Levi stared back at the flowers. This time, for some inexplicable reason—he was wondering about the person behind the pansies that had been sitting and accompanying him throughout the weeks in oblivion. Some stranger was thoughtful enough for his well-being. He wondered about their gender, their face, their intention. Most of all, their name. Would he be able to mention a name by looking at a face like he did with Zeke, Mikasa, and Petra? But he regretted arriving at that idea. He wanted that person to be a legit stranger. Some random person who had the genuine concern not because he's a family, a friend or a lover—but because they had a strange connection to him like the strange voice that echoes through his mind for a while now. The voice that woke him up from his deep slumber.

Chapter 2

Summary:

Hange was caught in a car accident, forced to save a family trapped in a car. Being a rescue officer challenged her to do what she was trained to do. But can she actually live up to that task?

Notes:

Warning: this chapter may get a little angsty and tragic. Some minor characters death and display of behavioral disorder.

Here's an introduction to Hange.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Hello? Any… anybody okay in… in there?!" Hange's voice was trembling from the cold. Stringing the right words was a challenge between locking jaws and chattering teeth. She was chest-deep into the creek—something she did not plan on getting into if not for a sinking car that lost its track and careened straight into a seemingly harmless and undisturbed body of water. Had she known better, its murky depths claimed enough lives during reckless encounters.

She was anxiously inspecting the interiors of the car for any sign of life and saw a buckled-up woman in the driver's seat, head lolled to the side and unresponsive. She lately cursed at the sight of a carrier secured at the backseat, the rolled-up windows muffling the sounds of a wailing baby. The dark water slowly found its way in and Hange had enough knowledge that the door would only work until the whole thing is submerged. No... there's no room for stalling.

She pounded on the window in full strength in hopes that it should stir the woman up until a pair of glaring blue eyes came into view just behind the passenger's seat. It was a girl, probably around seven, her hands clutching the headrest of the seat in front. She was staring at Hange unblinkingly.

"Sweetie, are you hurt? Everything's gonna be fine… I'm getting you out!" It was an overused dialogue in Hange's line of work. A reassuring but nervous smile would come along with it, effectively convincing people that they will be safe and pulling them out of danger. However, it was quite different with children. An infant needs assistance, a child will be too traumatized to move.

Hange thought fast and breathed through gritted teeth. She turned around and waded her way back to the banks, aimlessly hiking up the slope leading to the main road.

She looked around and realized it was getting darker. Moments from now and it will be nightfall—of all the worst times to test her poor vision and mental preparedness. She lumbered towards her own car that was parked unceremoniously in the middle of the road—bumper badly dented. She assumed no vehicle had gone by since the incident. She scolded herself for being useless, her damned phone died on her almost immediately as she thoughtlessly jumped into the creek without taking note of its importance. She was never been this stupid. Hell, why suddenly now that three lives are at stake if she hadn't acted accordingly to what she was trained to do? Madness and pain were seething in her chest as she rummaged through her compartment for tools—desperate to see anything useful to break a window or maybe her own head.

There's a wrench. She grabbed the cold metal tightly and marched her way back to the creek. Her descent was careless though, her foot got caught into something and she stumbled face-first, ended in a few good rolls, and cut her exposed parts in the process. She tasted dirt and blood from a bleeding tongue but it was a good thing her eyeglasses stayed on, the best thing to have when she was practically blind without them.

Gripping the metal tool with both hands, she broke the window down—water flooding in. The wailing of the baby cracked through the air but the bigger girl remained unmoving and speechless. Something felt disturbing about those icy eyes that didn't display fear, but anger.

There's no time reading those eyes. She had a job to do.

Hange checked the unconscious woman first. There was no wound in sight. She went for the pulse and felt its faint beats. Alive. She shook her up a few times but to no avail. As she turned to break the backseat window, the wrench slipped off of her hands and dropped somewhere in the car flooring. No choice left, she jumped through the window with half of her body but the car sank immediately at her weight.

"No fuck!" She wiggled out again and noticed the water getting in faster. She reached for the car's lock and tried unlocking it. Of course, it's not working. Her desperate attempts to get these people out took a hit on her. "Shit, shit, shit! Do something!"

More baby wails in the backseat. High-pitched and grating.

"Hey! Can you get out?! Can you reach me? Please, you have to help yourself! I'm getting you three out of here!" She cried out loud to the bigger girl who did not move one bit.

The girl just looked around her and at the woman in the driver's seat. It must be her mother.

"For god's sake can you hear me?! I know you can hear me! You're all gonna die if you didn't do something! Can you hand the baby to me?! I—I can't get in. The car will sink in a few minutes and you're all gonna fuckin' drown!" Hange was already screaming at the top of her lungs.

The shrill cry of the baby ensued.

She tried once again and reached for the mother. "Okay… can you at least release the seatbelt? I need to pull your mom out. She's your mom, right? Come on honey, do something…"

"No!" The girl screamed. It echoed through the silence. "Don't touch my mommy! It's your fault! It's your fault!"

"W-what?!" Hange lost her words and noticed the water getting higher.

"It's you! I hate you! It's your fault why mom won't wake up!" She grabbed her mother's shoulders from behind and violently shook her. "Mommy! Mommy!"

"N-no… I'm… I didn't…" Hange could not move. She could not think. The girl's words cut through her but she tried waving them off her head. If she was at fault then the more she needs to save this family. It took a few moments to gather some courage again. She could still hear the cry in the backseat. She is not wasting her chance so she reached out again for the baby but felt a smashing blow to her head. The girl got possession of the wrench and when Hange tried for the second time, the girl blindly hammered her head a few more strikes to make her see stars.

"Sh…shit…" There was dizziness from the impact and something warm and sticky rolled down her face.

"Stay away you killer! Killer! Killer!"

The voice was enough to petrify Hange. The girl was holding the wrench in a stance that she could pull another strike.

Hange was now cupping and shaking her head, trying to stay awake. She looked at her hands and saw a nauseating amount of blood painted all over her palms. She stepped back a little and felt the water pushing her back to the banks. She was slowly distancing from the wreck, as if being forced not to come close, never come close again, let the damn family drown.

"Killer! Killer!"

Who are you kidding? Nobody's gotten killed yet! Your mother was fucking alive if you only let me... Hange willed herself not to say anything out loud. However, her head could no longer take it. Her vision started to darken.

The car was sinking fast. There's no helping it.

"Killer!" The voice played in her head over and over again.

"I'm… I'm sorry…" Hange whispered to herself. Adrenaline died, her body refused to move.

And then finally, as seconds turned into a minute, two minutes… three… the voice died down to an eerie silence. Tranquility took over and there is not much to see but the still, dark water.

Maybe the girl was right. She's a killer.

The car was no longer there. Her consciousness…followed.

"Hange!" Another voice rang into her ears, louder and more pressing than usual. There was a nudge at first, but then it came more repeatedly. The last one did its job.

"H-huh?" She jerked up at the mention of her name. Hange's eyes blinked rapidly at the blinding brightness surrounding her. She squinted sleepily as she found herself actually falling asleep on a balcony. The wooden, folding table shook underneath the movement of her torso. As she straightened up to put on her glasses, she felt a familiar pain gathering in her lower back. She hissed at the sensation.

"Felt good?" Her companion arched his brows. "I guess you did enjoy the night out here."

Hange took note of the cans and bottles of liquor strewn on the table. All are empty. Her laptop inched itself dangerously at the edge but a rounded bottle took the action first as it rolled off a little too quickly and eventually multiplied into a hundred shards as it met the floor.

The guy could only watch and shake his head. "You're a mess more than the table," he said nonchalantly.

She is. She did not object.

He picked up the shards on the floor and told her not to move her feet around. Afterwards, he began mopping the spillage of whatever combination of liquor pooling on the tiles. He was most of the time patient, well-mannered, and regarded the situation as something he would always do to honor some unbreakable friendship but to wake up each day at the horrible sight of a miserable friend is pushing his buttons.

"Sorry about the mess, Moblit. It's just a few bottles and cans. I'll… I'll clean it up." She stood up but she was already stopped.

"No," Moblit said. "You cleaning up will double up the job."

She slumped back on the seat.

Moblit examined the cans and bottles and chucked them into a trash bag. "I honestly am impressed with your alcohol tolerance and the fact that you're still alive up to this point. But for god's sake Hange, I provided you a room in my apartment, and will you at least sober up for a few seconds so you can make your way inside your room? I swear our sweet old neighbor is already thinking you're a victim of domestic violence and will be murdered soon. I'm getting close to that, honestly."

Since when did Moblit obtain his dark humor?

She stretched her arms across the table and buried her face between them. She felt a coming headache. "I'm really sorry… Look, I'm trying to get this off of my system but…"

Moblit sighed and looked at her helplessly. "Let me guess, you had those nightmares again?"

He automatically knew. The ever perceptive Moblit. She nodded. "They keep haunting me. They were gone for a few days and then they came back. It can't be helped. It's been three consecutive nights already. It's the same every night. I had to be completely drunk and wasted but…"

"Well you see, your booze habits didn't work. But don't come around downing a 190 proof because that will definitely wipe out your existence, your soul, and maybe, my memory of you." Moblit's sarcasm ensued.

Hange did not seem to mind. Her thoughts traveled back to that girl—the way she blamed and smash her head as if she would kill her. She closed her eyes shut. It was always that haunting image of her icy blue eyes that bored into her humanity.

"You need someone to talk to about the recurring nightmares. And I do mean someone professional. You need help, Hange. I can't say things anymore to lessen the blow…" He was giving her an intense stare. "All kinds of liquor won't heal matters. Maybe try to divert your attention to something else?"

Hange did not consider seeking professional help. She ran her fingers through her hair. There was an impression just above her hairline where a few stitches lingered at her touch to remind her of the incident that happened a little over two months ago. The very incident that notoriously messed up her sleeping patterns and sanity.

It was fresh and vivid like yesterday—she found herself bundled up on a stretcher stationed beside an ambulance at the site of the crash. She was still shivering from her wet clothes and the emergency blanket did not provide enough warmth. Her head was bandaged and throbbing in pain. The memory was spatial: her car was already parked by the side of the road while a team of paramedics, search rescue, and county police stood by. She could tell it was already daybreak by the pastel colors of the sky. The stretching road was a brooding, winding path—paving more way for vehicular accidents. The guardrail was heavily damaged. And then the crane. Her eyes did not move until the car was hoisted up from the creek. She hugged herself at the chilling idea of fatalities that she could have prevented. As her curious eyes hovered nearby—as if the moment is meant to guilt-trip her—she finally saw the bodies. Fortunately enough, they were already covered in white sheets.

Questions came later but did not prod into details. Hange turned over her identification and her account about being in the area. At the mention of her occupation, it garnered a number of sympathizers and a pat on her back. Ironically, she was an incident response officer herself and the failed rescue attempt deemed her incapable of being one. As if to put out the fire in her chest and relieve her self-depreciation, it was concluded she was just another casualty.

The driver—a single mother was under the influence of alcohol when she took the wheel. A relative attested that she is too drunk to drive but stubbornly insisted to go somewhere, dragging her kids along after a huge fight with her partner. It was also reported that she had a history of substance abuse and had been in and out of jail. Summarily, it was an ill-fated story to get a newspaper page. Hange was mentioned a few times but not much of relevance. After all, she is simply a passerby.

But Hange did not mention anything about her—the wrench-wielding girl. She fabricated her own story that the wound on her head was the result of tumbling down the slopes due to her poor vision. She could go as far as managing to break the windows before blacking out. The mother won't wake up. The girl was too scared to move. The baby was helpless. This small family had enough of a bad narrative being told out of assumptions and she is not the type who will add more salt to the wound.

Killer! Killer! The girl's voice mercilessly rang into her ears as if on cue when to attack her conscience.

Disruptive Behavior Disorder. It was also declared that the poor child has something to deal with at such a young age that even the people around her had a hard time adjusting to. Hange for once had witnessed and experienced her violent tendencies. Had the child lived—damn it, she could have lived—there is certainly a workaround to reform her character.

She told Moblit the whole story then. She tried picking out the smallest chance that makes her at fault, too. Was she talking on the phone while driving? Did she fall asleep? Was her vision poor enough not to pick out a car in front of her? Has she unknowingly swerved in the opposite lane?

"But no one's blaming you, Hange. It isn't entirely your fault that the family died." Moblit would say the same lines over and over again. They never really worked on her. "It's in the papers, there's a proper investigation and you said your lines. It's done deal."

"But why was the girl blaming me?" Hange would ask. "She said it was me. She saw the whole thing."

"And she's dead to even prove it, goddammit." Moblit would say in exasperation. "The road was a winding mess. It is pitch-dark and the car was old with poorly lit headlights. On top of that, the woman was drunk and the impact knocked her out. Her kids—well, they said that the older girl had it rough, right? All the information just didn't present itself conveniently to absolve you of guilt because clearly, there's nothing to be guilty about! Hange, can you behave like a rational being for once? This isn't like you!"

And the conversation will be dropped.

As the incident put her in distress for days, she filed for an indefinite leave of absence from her job and lied about having therapy sessions to nurse her deteriorating mental health.

It seemed to go that way anyway. Two months and counting, there's not much of an improvement.

Moblit had been her saving grace since that day. He allowed her to stay in his apartment away from vehicle-laden streets. She could share to pay half of the rent. Her apartment was actually situated in the busiest district of the city and the external noise only caused her anxiety. The noise of blaring horns, emergency sirens, and everything that is associated with automobiles only triggered and intensified her trauma.

"Don't beat yourself up, Hange. You are probably appointed to save lives but you're not God," Moblit pointed out. He always had a point.

Hange tried to lighten up the mood. "Aren't you working today? You don't have to look out for me every day. You've done enough and you're always an amazing person."

"Cut the drama," Moblit scoffed. "I'm not raising a teenager here. And you just severed that opportunity because here I am, nursing a human wreck that was my best friend instead of going around to look for my future wife."

Hange sank to her seat and was surprised he brought that up. She recalled the earlier days of her depressive state where a few potential dates for Moblit turned him down upon learning a female friend shared his apartment. "I'm really, really sorry. I promise I'll…"

"Don't," Moblit said. "You need help. And I need a break anyway. Maybe I'm not cut out to be someone's boyfriend just yet."

There was an awkward silence and Hange looked up at the cloudless sky. She immediately felt sorry for Moblit and decided to share his remorse.

"We're both not cut out for it. At least not yet these days. Maybe the reason why we've stuck with each other is…"

"No Hange! Don't ever say we're meant for each other! I can't imagine a future with you!" Moblit said hastily, attempting not to magnify the visible awkwardness any further.

A laugh erupted. A belly laugh that was not heard of in ages.

"Oh, Moblit! I didn't mean in that way, silly! Of course, I never thought of us ending up together. Well, maybe if we don't find our respective partners and we decide to live together, we'd be parents to a dozen cats. If it really does go that way, we're definitely not living under marriage vows. We're best friends. We're like twins. We could've even shared a womb together."

Moblit's furrowed brows relaxed. Hange's laughing drew tears to her eyes. Her messy brown hair tangled right in front of her face. She fisted the table and her laptop almost jumped off. Moblit had to nudge it in place.

"Thanks, Moblit. Thanks for murdering my self-esteem," she joked.

Moblit only shrugged. It is fairly easy to get her to smile. "Any plans on getting back on your feet? I mean, you're not losing your job, right?"

"They're considerate enough. And I'm… I'm still thinking about going back to it."

"If anything, you can always work in the pizzeria. Be a part-owner perhaps? Business is going well these days."

"I'll see… I'll see about that…" she sighed gloomily.

So what about the burst of laughter a while ago? Things can be passing as Moblit gave a gentle pat on her back. "Not that face, Hange. You can blame yourself all you want for a single tragedy that's never your liability but never forget a hundred lives you have saved every single time you were out there in your uniform. You can count the dead bodies with your fingers but not those who lived on your watch. Please remember that."

Hange fought a smile escaping her lips. What did she ever do to deserve a human being like Moblit?

"And for good measure, I'd like to remind you of that heroic deed you've done that night at Stohess. Impressively enough, you were half-drunk and pulled off quite a stunt. Mike was raving about that time he couldn't even take action. Hange, you saved someone."

Hange froze. That night.

Exactly a week after the creek incident, another incident awakened her rescue instincts. Albeit the alcohol and post-trauma that did little damage to her sensibilities, she prevented a hit-and-run case.

"You can still save lives because you're shaped up for it. You see, you are still reactive towards danger and some people will always be a witness to that." Moblit expressed himself almost optimistically and animatedly.

Hange threw her head backwards and let her smile known. That memory eased her. For whatever reason, maybe it was a form of atonement.

"By the way… are you going today?" Moblit asked. "It's that day of the week, right?"

It has been Hange's weekly routine. Her survivor was someone who gave her hope and demanded her time to check up on from time to time. Her emotional crisis might be a hopeless case but she made herself a little something to spare a bit of optimism. A tiny hope that the person she "saved" can pull through. Maybe she can try to visit him today. Or maybe tomorrow.

"How is he anyway? Any better?" Moblit asked curiously.

The question still hurts.

"Last time I heard, he's still sleeping…" Hange trailed off.

"No progress, I see. It's been two months. So his folks just let him like that?"

"There are hopefuls among us. There's a reason why he is still breathing and maybe his own family thought so too. I've been saving lives all my life and always hold onto miracles during desperate times," Hange explained. "Just… there's hope for anyone. I am for one—a total stranger—is trying to send healing vibes to him. Sounds stupid but when we can't do anything about changing a situation, we always hope for something that's beyond science. We can only cling to that."

"That's what I actually want to hear from you." Moblit smiled. "So I guess you're not a total wreck yourself. If he survives… if he wakes up one day… will it make you feel better? Will you stop blaming yourself? Will you be the old Hange all over again?"

"Maybe…" Hange said unsurely. She breathed heavily and stood up, inspecting a row of potted pansies that she started buying from a flower shop since she moved in Moblit's place. She picked a pot of white and purple variety and her eyes softened at its delicate bud. As if the clusters of blooms had some sort of magic to cheer her up, she finally decided.

"Moblit, you used to cut my hair back in college. Can you do me a favor? I'm thinking of a style with a few fringes to hide my head scars but still manageable to sport an easy, half-ponytail."

"Why suddenly the haircut? You're not dealing with a stupid heartbreak."

"I believe they've weighed much enough to add up to my emotional stressors."

"Blame the greasiness that weighed around your body weight."

Hange was pouting. "You don't want to see me another morning on your balcony, do you?"

"Fine! Shower first or my scissors won't work with that roadkill you called hair." Moblit then disappeared inside the apartment and exhaled loudly.

Hange smiled.

Maybe she is finally coming around. Maybe she will be better.

Maybe...

Notes:

Moblit will always be a sweetheart. 3

Chapter 3

Summary:

Hange finally meets Levi. But Levi meets tragedy.

Notes:

Here's a flashback of what went on.

Sorry, this isn't a fast-paced story. ;)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Hange saw him first.

Her body was a machine built for deflecting the effects of alcohol. People often remark that she can drink anyone under the table or can endlessly guzzle a whole bottle without a buzz. Some would even joke that her neurotransmitters are not transmitting the red light signals. Either genetics or some biological factor played a part in her nonhuman knack—she would always take note of her cognizance that excessive intake is not going to do her good.

A high-end pub, "Underground" was not her first choice. Stohess district in Sina City has an array of fancy residential estates and business establishments, upscale infrastructures, and extravagant lifestyle—endlessly showcasing its heightened economy. Sina, being the economic center of Paradis rose to global prominence due to its continuous industrialization and modernization. For decades, it has attracted a population of the working class—giving birth to a city that never sleeps.

It has been over a week since the creek incident and Hange took her leave from work. She left her apartment in Yalkell when Moblit offered her his two-room apartment in a middle-class neighborhood in Hermina. Every night, she would be visiting a pub, nursing her trauma of the recent accident. And each damn night, she had to be someplace where the lights are dimmer and there are bottles for company.

Underground pub in Stohess might not be a good choice for her wallet but when a friend asked for her presence that night, there is no turning back.

It was nearing eleven in the evening but her indecisions made her run in circles. She could go walking for hours and simply immerse herself in the chaotic bustle. The district was crowded, well-lit, and lively even in the most ungodly times. There is only one place in mind where she can enjoy her self-inflicted misery but not completely throw herself into the worst hangover. Hell, she needed a place where she could stay sober and dignified.

She knew she will never blend in. First, her car was under repair and it took her three subway stations and a cab to get there. Second, she could not do anything with her disheveled appearance. Third, she's an "Underground" virgin.

The cheaper pubs she had gone to before have not been particular on social status. Fucking "Underground" was notorious for only housing the upper-class patrons and how their bill for a night of booze could cover her one-week expenses. As her misgivings did not influence her decision, she sashayed inside anyway, flashing the suit-clad guard a metallic black and red membership card that gave him the impression of a stinking rich, low-key woman who had a few coins to spare for some exclusive whisky.

The interior was cozy and minimalist, dimly lit but bragging enough to display a massive selection of expensive spirits, crafted rums, and top-shelf liquors that had Hange fawning over for a moment. As if her presence inside was a drunken idea all along, she hastily crossed the floor of pristine-looking couches and untouchable folks who gave her a sneering double-take. She shuddered at the forming self-consciousness as her eyes failed to pick any single person who look a little less classy than her. Sure enough, her yellow buttoned-down blouse, slightly fitted jeans, and brown leather loafers did not fit the sleek and leather-laden interiors as if business or celebratory gatherings of top executives were usually held there. She claimed a stool at the corner most of the bar counter and plaintively sulk for a whole minute. The discomfort was slowly seeping in and she prayed that her reason for being there will bail her out of it.

"Hans, you made it!" A hulking figure suddenly emerged behind the counter. By his plain, long-sleeved top and half-apron wrapped around his waist, he could be the bartender.

There was a sigh of relief. Hange was sure she was going to suffocate if she stayed much longer without company.

"Mike!" Hange finally relaxed and leaned her elbows over the intricately furnished table. "I'm not sure if I'd be thankful that you invited me here. Of all places!"

Mike was a man over six feet tall with an easy smile and calm demeanor. He responded with a smirk—nose twitching like it was his mannerism. "You always turn down my invites like I'm forcing you on a date. So Underground will only get you to say yes?"

Hange huffed. "Honestly, I'd rather have our date somewhere else and not here."

"Yeah, yeah. But look who had the time today."

"I'm on leave. Indefinitely."

"Oh? That's new. Taking the hero cape off for a while?"

"Yeah," Hange said. "Needs its laundry. The dirt build-up was pretty bad."

"Well, it's a good thing you finally took some time to catch up with your friends." Mike routinely turned around and checked a few bottles that were seated on the topmost shelf. Strangely, he began slipping cotton gloves on both hands. He tip-toed to reach a lone, shiny black bottle with shimmering crystals adorning its neck. He smugly grinned and popped it open. "Seventy-year-old Marleyan Heritage Cognac." He skillfully poured a moderate amount into a clear glass and slid it across Hange.

Hange's mouth was open as she stared at the amber-colored fluid. She swallowed hard. "Look, I'm gonna leave this place sober and definitely not gonna go bankrupt over a shot of some ridiculously priced liquor. I made some research, you know. A bottle from the topmost shelf will gonna get me in a midlife crisis."

Mike laughed and shushed her. "Hey, you should know that all eyes are on you since you settled on that stool and they're thinking an intruder gate-crashed their party."

Hange was aware of a dozen eyes preying on her. "I didn't have a problem with the guard on duty," she retorted confidently, holding the glass firmly but trying not to look over her shoulder. "I have a card. I have access."

Mike held the bottle like a show-off. "But of course having a card is necessary 'round here. I just thought I'd let these folks see that you can afford a bottle of liquor that costs around a million bucks. You're welcome."

"Suck it. No such thing exists." Hange stared at him disbelievingly.

"Only in Underground. Please try to be curious once in a while and believe that overpriced liquor is real. Your research is not good enough."

"You're not fucking serious, are you?" Hange was already swayed by the stupid information. "What's in here? Fountain of youth or I'd be pissing gold for the rest of my life?"

Mike shrugged. "It's not purely the contents, really. It's the bottle. These are real diamonds."

Hange looked closely at the intricately embossed diamonds in swirling patterns. "So that explains the gloves. Christ, maybe I'm not living right."

"And the cap is made of gold," Mike added proudly.

"Uh-huh. And ultimately, you're just gonna piss it all anyway. So the bottle's quite more necessary than owning a car that's half of its price?"

"At least for the upper-class. They buy unnecessary things because they already own the necessary things! Hans, drop the sarcasm. It's reality. This comes with a price and the crazy rich buy it."

"Ah Mike, the rich had the penchant for the unnecessary," Hange said. "Something a piss poor person would never understand. Ever."

"So, are you just gonna let it sit in front of you?" Mike challenged.

"And get me fucking broke?"

Mike laughed quietly. "It's on me, calm down. That's why I invited you, remember? Besides, it's already open. Apparently, only a single person had the privilege to afford this and he wouldn't even know how much was consumed."

"Wait, what? So it's already purchased and was just kept here?" Hange asked, bewildered. "I'm sure they have wine cellars in their mansion. Why leave it here on display?"

"Well, we have this 'Keep Program' for valued patrons. They purchase bottles from a special list and we earmark them for their exclusive enjoyment when they come over and lounge around. They have the option to store it in a vault with a passcode and this is the only bottle that didn't beg for VIP treatment. Maybe the dude intentionally makes it a point that he wouldn't mind his bottle getting stolen or something because he is that stinking rich."

Hange whistled. "I don't see the logic. Too easy for them to throw a fortune over a fancy bottle and obviously are clueless about shrewd bartenders like you. I'll take time to process this."

"Oh, that hurts," Mike said but shrugged it off. "Well, if I really fancied this liquor, why would I need to drink the liquid when I can actually run off with the bottle?"

Hange breathed. "Yeah right. I can't believe they trusted you so much they let their fortune under your watch."

Mike smiled. "Yes, they trusted me. This bottle is just a pinch of their wealth so what's the big deal? So, you gonna drink it, or are you really gonna hurt my feelings?"

"I just hope this won't burst into flames at the wrong drinker," Hange grumbled but drank the liquid nonetheless. She would admit it was the best-tasting liquor she had ever tasted. She savored the taste on her lips. "Not bad. But you're going to hell, Mike. My future misfortunes will be on you."

"We're both going to hell," Mike said. "But I need to cheer up a dear friend. I just thought it's gonna cure whatever's bugging you since you got here. No worries, I got this."

Silence stretched for seconds. Hange was transfixed at the glass of liquor that could pay for her rent. Her brows scrunched up at the stupid reality.

"How touching. You haven't tried yourself, have you?" Hange asked and took another sip. It burned her throat pleasantly. God, it was addicting.

"No," Mike sneered. "And I have tasted more than enough."

"So," Hange diverts. "Aren't you gonna ask me first about the pain I endured just to be here? You never told me about the sartorial splendor of humans here. I was about to pass up as one of you guys—only though I can mix poison instead of cocktails."

Mike hummed. "I expect you to show some skin, to be honest."

"I showered today. That's probably enough."

Mike looked defeated. "You are so passé of Underground's exquisite reputation. It's obvious you shy away from everything that's associated with affluence and elegance but you think it's quite a privilege to have that membership card of yours put to use?"

"Just one of the perks of being in Sina Emergency Response Team. A bigwig politician gave my team these cards as tokens when we handled the disaster at Utgard Building's demolition project. The hell do I need the card for? As if I'm chasing society's hierarchy to avail Underground's exclusivity."

Mike took a tray of shot glasses, wiping each of them carefully with a cloth. "I still can't believe you went that way—being a first responder. Are you crucially accustomed not to staying out of action and emergencies? If saving lives is what really completes you as a person, being in the medical field should be the best choice. Plus, it gets you handsome compensation. You're just two years away to complete the medical course and well... you let that chance slip away. Think it over again. It's not too late."

"Mike, I'm here to catch up with you. Don't remind me of what I missed in life like I'm dying," Hange mumbled. "And said the guy who finished Law School but ended up mixing cocktails to slake society's alcohol whims."

"Okay," Mike dropped the cloth and glared at her accusingly. The boomerang effect is Hange's specialty. "That settled it. We're not talking about past lives and whatever we ended up doing that made us look like we took the off-beaten path in our careers—but rest assured that I am happy with my job. Besides, I'm still well-compensated with a day job."

"Good for you," Hange said and fiddled with her eyeglasses. She had one or two more gulps of the brandy and fought the idea of asking Mike for another fill.

It was then that Mike's nose twitched again and leaned closer to take a good look at her face. "Whoah, Hans! That's a badass scar right there. Tough week? What happened?"

The wound on her head was still swollen and stitches are visible but covering it up with bandages will draw more attention. She picked a few fringes from her bangs and tried not to make it even noticeable. "Bad night at Rose Creek a week ago. Caught in a car accident."

"Oh, good lord. I guess saving lives doesn't make one exempt from hazards. Any fatalities?"

Hange drummed her fingers against the glass and stared idly at the sparkling color. She does not plan on discussing the ugly stuff with Mike but she could not ignore the possibility that it will be brought up one way or another. "A family—a mother and her two kids were trapped in their car. The thing sank underwater and I—I couldn't do anything about it…"

Mike took one last wipe of the shot glass and put it neatly on the tray. He turned his back on her to place the tray in its respective storage. Faint sounds of saxophone played nearby.

Hange downed the glass and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. As she straightened her head, she saw Mike looking at her with arms crossed.

"You wanna talk about it?"

She nodded.

"Were you at fault?"

She shook her head. "I don't know... maybe? Maybe not? But I let them die."

"Let them die?" Mike asked. "How? You didn't do anything? You just stand there and watch?"

"No..." Hange said. "It's... we both tried to prevent a head-on. I guess the other car lost control and went straight into the creek. I couldn't get help that time so it was just me. I tried to save the family in the car but the circumstances..."

"But you did something, right? You tried at least."

"Y-yeah. But... "

"Is it the first time you saw death?"

"I've seen enough deaths, Mike. But this I could've prevented," Hange said. "I should've done something..."

Mike has known Hange for too long and he knows what could mess her up. If something fails, Hange always blames herself. "Done what? I know you've done something because the Hange I knew will always come up with something. There are reasons why fate allowed things that are beyond our control. Shit happens. You've seen enough in your line of work and that isn't any different. You can pull through that, Hange. Just like you used to."

"I'm having nightmares, Mike. It was bad…" Hange reasoned out.

"Nightmares are triggered by stress and anxiety and you damned well know that." Mike poured another higher shot of liquor into her glass. "Look at it this way, what was it in your work? Are you being blamed, were you being sued, was your name written in the news telling you've fucked up?"

Hange shook her head.

"Then you're not in trouble. Your nightmares are just a figment of your overthinking habits," Mike told her. It was always easy for Mike to put sense into her. "Drink up!"

"M-Mike?"

"I know that's not gonna take away whatever you're feeling right now but you see how people turn to alcohol at their worst times. I know it tasted good enough and that served your tastebuds well. Now drink up!" Mike insisted. "Come on Hange, I miss your laughter. I miss that toothy smile and I hate seeing you like that!"

Hange obliged and sipped the drink smoothly. She managed a half-smile.

"Yeah, that's it... I knew a million bucks worth of liquor can ease you..." Mike laughed. "Give me that sulking face again and I'm kicking you out of here."

"After inviting me? Really..."

"Yeah, and I have every right to kick you out when I don't feel like dealing with a downer." Mike patted her head.

Just when Hange's mood turned a little better, another bartender appeared from nowhere and whispered something to Mike. The latter's eyes got big when the other guy was pointing at the bottle of liquor. Mike schemed something. He was smiling between his lies.

"No, Eld. Of course, I knew Mr. Ackerman was coming in so I conveniently scooped it out of the rack so by the time he got here it was all prepared. Besides, he doesn't like waiting. I was just showing our customer here the prices of the top-shelf bottles."

The other barkeep, Eld, gave him a confused look but nodded firmly. "Ackerman might not be in his best mood. You've seen the news. And his trips here got a little too frequent."

"Got it. He'd still be treated well anyway even if he smashes a bottle on my head," Mike told him nonchalantly and waved him off. He smoothed out his collar and scowled when Hange cleared her glass once more.

"Hey easy," Mike said.

"If I heard it right, tonight's a bad time to have your amazing person coming over," Hange squinted her eyes. "Don't wanna get caught red-handed. I better get going."

"No! You're not going anywhere, Hans. I got this. You can stick around for another hour after my shift. I'm assigned for the VIPs so I wouldn't be doing a lot—well, except for the Ackerman hotshot who usually needs a bottle and a glass. He manages most of the time and he's not being a diva over everything."

"Ackerman?" Hange was trying to recall the name that probably rang a thousand times in her memory. "Of Ackerman Holdings?"

"He's the current CEO and took over last year. Yes, that's the guy you're sharing that liquor with," Mike said almost facetiously. "It's your lucky night."

Hange was totally ignorant of the business industry but she had a little knowledge of the Ackerman clan ranking in Paradis' wealthiest list. "So his company holds the huge assets in several public and private companies in Sina? Quite a business with its takeaways, huh? No wonder he can afford liquor that costs an arm and a leg."

"Well, we can't be precise about the companies they have major or minor holdings with but I'm certain each member of the family has billions in personal savings alone. They also extended internationally to Marley and Hizuru, my best guess. They were just pretty subdued about their social standing. Levi Ackerman was not even overly intimidating in person though. I could carry him on my shoulder should he get really drunk and dump him in my pick-up truck. I'll call the family for ransom," Mike snickered.

Hange laughed for the first time. "Interesting. Fine, I'm sticking around to see what an excessively rich person looks like. It's not every day you get to see a tycoon hanging around in the same place as you are. Hey, can you pour me another shot but not that liquid gold—Christ. The cheapest you got, please."

Mike obliged and poured her a regular tequila. "Take it slow, Hans. I want you to stay sober but it wouldn't hurt to unbutton three of those so the Ackerman guy can notice." He was pointing at her blouse.

Hange flinched and tugged at her top self-consciously. "Fuck off, Mike. I'd rather play your partner-in-crime who will negotiate with his family for ransom."

It didn't take five minutes for a grand entrance. Silent but grand. There was a mark of confidence and authority that made him distinct among the crowd of his kind. Hange had to leave her drinking session to sate her growing curiosity for the man she had secretly shared a taste of luxury-in-a-bottle with. Before she could turn back to the counter and have another swig, she already saw Mike being summoned by the other guy's presence, bolting out immediately to welcome him by the entrance.

It was almost a funny sight. Hange could really tell that Mike was capable of throwing the guy over his shoulder and demand for ransom. Ackerman was an air of sophistication and class in his crisp, black tailored blazer, white buttoned-down shirt, and dress pants, however, his short stature probably downplayed the "perfection" he was emulating. But to compare him to a towering entity like Mike, the latter would go unnoticed and unremarkable. There was something about Ackerman that would easily make him the center of attention. It wasn't about the familiarity of the name. Even if Hange was not informed of who he was, she would still be riveted by him.

Two, three, or maybe five minutes of pursed lips and watchful eyes, Hange put him under surveillance. It was then that she realized he has not left her periphery and surprisingly, settled himself only five bar stools away from her.

Mike was almost forgotten. "So he's the kind of drink that will make you drunk."

She jumped. "When did you…"

He cocked his head to the side innocently. "Oh, didn't notice me? I've been calling you like ten times. Did your world stop? It seems that way…"

"Shut up." Hange guzzled down her drink and pushed it back to him. "More." She glanced to her right again.

"That's your sixth."

"But not enough to knock me down or anything just yet. I'm paying for my drinks and it's your job to serve your customers."

"I meant the sixth time your eyes traveled to your right. Isn't he a stunner?" Mike poured her another fill and chuckled.

Hange was not for superficial attraction. She certainly sure as hell won't be fascinated by physique alone but the magnetic allure and mystery of the short guy were lingering in her head since his arrival. His haircut was styled in an undercut, making her wonder if he had his own stylist or if he simply knew what looked best on him. His sharp and well-defined side profile was probably one if not of his best features. Anyone with a camera would be drawn to get a few candid shots of him, consequences be damned. She'd hate to admit it but he had her speechless.

Ignoring Mike's unceasing cracks, she didn't realize her focused attention on the Ackerman guy. As expected, the Marleyan Cognac was already in his possession, sitting elegantly in front of him. A shot glass just like hers was gracefully wrapped around his delicate fingers. He swallowed his drink like there was formality and etiquette required in drinking. His arms were folded on the counter and his calm form made Hange sigh.

Almost dreamily.

"I heard your buddy mentioned he couldn't be in a good mood," Hange whispered to Mike. "Was that a face who had a problem? He's... he's scowly but I'm seeing a very calm person more than a depressed human being."

"Well-off kids are just too good in hiding it. They should always look dapper in public, keeping a straight face like it's what separates them from us lowlife folks," Mike whispered back. "News didn't reach you?"

Hange frowned. "What news?"

Mike sighed soundly. "His marriage proposal was turned down. Shit Hange, were you living under a rock?"

"Hell... unless it's something about disasters or tragedies then that'd have my full attention," Hange said. "So he had a girlfriend? Is that why he's here alone? Was he drinking to cure a heartbreak or something?"

"Keep it down you uncivilized idiot! We can't talk things like that when he's beside us..."

"Oh... okay. So he's turned down by a girlfriend and then everything went south?"

Mike cleared his throat. He shot daggers at Hange. "Drop it. It's not our business, Hans..."

"Well... why would somebody turn down a guy like him?! Marrying an Ackerman would be every woman's dream."

It was a little loud. No, too loud. Or maybe loud enough to get his attention. Levi Ackerman's head turned to the side, eyes locking with Hange.

Fuck. Did he hear it? She counted three seconds that felt like a minute. It was probably the lighting from the overly bright display rack that emphasized his light, blue-grey eyes that looked like a pair of faceted diamonds. Sharp and intense, calculating but expressionless—if there are illegible writings, the same could be said with those eyes.

Hange was fawning like a primate seeing humans for the first time. Of course, she had the memory of him by the entrance and Mike designating him a spot within proximity. It did not register at first—filthy rich CEO who had gold and diamonds for drinks. Maybe she was too engrossed in his appearance by the time he arrived. Was she expecting someone older and ailing? But here she was, wide-eyed and hoping the frames of her eyeglasses will cover her moronic bedazzlement that was her usual awkward self. But she loved what she was seeing: a pale, beautiful scowling face staring back at her.

As if Levi chose to lose in a staring contest, he suddenly tore his gaze away from her with disinterest and retreated to his own world.

"Oh, you got his attention," Mike chortled in a whisper. "But I can smell a bad impression."

"Piss off, Mike..." Hange growled silently. She took one last flustered glance at Levi and knew she would never see those intimidating eyes again.

She didn't feel like going home. Not yet. It was past two o'clock and Mike was walking beside her in long strides, both of them gobbling down a can of beer in one hand and holding a greasy burger in the other. A midnight stroll is not half as bad as she thought. She was grateful about being outside and finally exhaling the suffocating memory of Underground pub. But it actually helped to forget her worldly problems, considering she tasted diamonds and might want to hold up her bladder for a little more time to blissfully contain that outrageously priced liquor to reboot her system.

Stohess District was captivating during wee hours but people are mere mortals who had to retire. The earlier bursting nightlife and wild urban appeal have already subsided to a night of mere bright lights, partly-lit buildings, and smooth traffic. The crowd is dissipating but Hange was sure she was never going home. Not yet. She called Moblit earlier and reminded him that she didn't need babysitting. The guy had some sort of weird maternal care for her forever. He told her not to drink and she said she never touched anything yet—he wouldn't be able to tell, right? Drunk or not, a single, sleepless night won't kill. Besides, the monsters under her bed need a break anyway. They are more capable of killing her in her sleep than ten or twelve or fourteen shots of shits and a few more beers. Staying awake and keeping her occupied for the rest of the night will be a good start. This means of escape might do her good at least for the time being and Mike was kind enough to keep her company.

"But… he looked so young to be a CEO. I thought he was someone older—or probably middle-aged…"

She could not even stop talking about Ackerman. Maybe the alcohol is taking effect. Mike snorted and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"So is that it? We can't have a good conversation back there because obviously, he's within earshot."

"He took off earlier than us, didn't he?" Hange was saddened for no reason. She remembered having a restroom break to check herself in the mirror but when she came back, the guy was gone.

"Yeah. He took off earlier. Somebody picked him up."

Hange exhaled.

"So we're not talking about your problems or whatever went on with your life. We are not talking about how you are going to fix your uninsured damaged car. We are not going to talk about how Nanaba and I got together. We definitely are going to talk about a rich, short dude who walked in at a bar one night and literally brought your world to a standstill. Someone's interested in the rich guy, huh?"

"Hey, it was all out of curiosity. I want to know about rich people and how they deal with things," Hange said defensively and took a swig of her second beer this time.

It was those eyes. A pair of blue-grey orbs that demanded to be read. Some ambiguity she could not trace.

"Was it bad how to know how rich people deal with their problems? He's heartbroken and doesn't look like it. How can a problem look so classy on him?"

Mike wrinkled his brows quizzically. "Are you even serious with that question?"

"Well you see how my own problems got me winded and literally made me look like shit but the Ackerman guy looked otherwise. I just want to know how can he perfectly wear his heartbreak without writing it on his face."

"You should've asked him."

"He doesn't look friendly though so I'll pass. That's why you're here, Mike. Care to finally share what's going on with Levi Ackerman?"

"Hange, whatever he had doesn't concern us," Mike said gravely and released his arm off her. "Leave the guy alone. If you see a classy guy who looks good during a heartbreak then it was only getting worse inside. He's been drinking every night at the pub. That Marleyan cognac you shared with him was his fourth purchase. And just so you know, he gets lonelier in each visit."

"All the reason why you should tell me, Mike. Maybe there's a lesson I could apply to my own drama."

"Fine." Mike gave in after a huff. "I guess, wealth and power had their drawbacks. Society will talk and gawk at your life. You had it good and they hated it, you had it rough and they had the pleasure of witnessing your downfall. With Levi, society always described him as having a perfect life until recently."

There was a pause as if Mike was now in a talking mood.

"So you know that his girlfriend—longtime girlfriend turned him down during a wedding proposal. It was a small and intimate gathering—nothing too flashy. He tried to keep it low but you can tell he put all his heart into organizing it. I was there and it was like watching a royal engagement. It's a privilege being a bartender in Underground. Well, it's obvious the business is also under their holdings. A few people were there to witness the event but it turned out, the girl was unsure—fickle—whatever. She looked lost and confused and just walked out without a word. It's quite a blow, totally unexpected." Mike chewed on his burger.

"What happened next?"

"I spent the whole night pouring liquor for him," Mike said. "He took it lightly at first. We talked a bit. He said something about not giving your woman the fanciest things in life and all the love in the world without having to leave some for yourself. He made sense. And damn, what a calm man he is. He can even muster a smile and told me maybe she was not ready, or she hates surprises. He was a man of class and manners so he probably talked to her about it eventually—I'm not sure. But thing is, his performance as the CEO took a hit. The event made its way to the public—papers, TV, social media. Bad things are said. Some facts are twisted and sensationalized. Things in his company suddenly took a dark turn."

Hange ached. The news did not reach her. Or maybe she unknowingly detached herself from the world for too long as her job kept her preoccupied with so many responsibilities that finally led her to realize they are too much to handle. She cursed at the fact that people were tied to something that breaks them in the long run. Everybody had to be drunk on something. Everybody was a slave to something.

"Hans, problems come in all shapes and sizes. People can't exactly measure the weight of our problems. We only identify them ourselves. Our coping mechanism plays that part and we have to play it right. But you know… people have their ways of coping up. The shittiest happens to be comparing their snags with others. They were relieved when somebody had it more miserable, had it worse."

Hange inhaled sharply.

"I maybe am a shitty friend so I gotta give you the shittiest advice. You take a look at Levi and see how his perfect life suddenly spiraled down. He had an aching heart to cure, a company to lead, a reputation to fix—that's just three of many things he had to deal with. Now look at it and compare it with yours."

"I get it." Hange cut him off. It was not the alcohol that made Mike sound like a very sensible person. He knew Levi can be an immediate distraction to sort her life out or give her a false sense of optimism towards emotions.

But was it right to compare her problems with someone whose life's on a different spectrum? Someone with a different scoreboard? Should she be relieved that someone had a harder game to play?

Problems come in all shapes and sizes. Whether it's Levi's or hers, living in the world of adulthood was just complicated and needs to be dealt with.

"You can drop by again tomorrow," Mike offered. "I'll fix you a good cocktail and please, let's talk about our lives and not someone else. But hey, how can you even stand upright after all those shots?"

Hange's body seemed to hear it. She nearly tripped on the pavement but Mike caught her arm. "Oops. Not quite. The liquid gold is probably kicking in."

"You need to go home, Hans. Have you been staying up late each night? Jesus, I'm getting you a cab."

"No Mike. I'm okay." Of course, she felt fine. Just a bit buzzed. Nobody has ever defeated her in a drinking contest yet. Unless the alcohol was laced with poison, it will never knock her out. She resumed her normal strides and convinced Mike that she intended to stay awake until morning.

They rounded a corner where there is a good view of the road intersection. The pair stood side by side and silently watched lesser vehicles driving by. It was getting lonelier by the minute. No horns, no foot traffic—almost soundless and peaceful. The sight alone eased her worries as she took her last sip of beer. She turned to Mike with a huge smile on her face.

"Thanks for getting me a dose of Levi Ackerman. That helped…a little."

"A little?" Mike raised a brow. "Two shots that's about a thousand bucks already. You owe me big time."

She burst out laughing. "You insisted! Maybe next time you can make him sit right next to me? I can be the perfect drinking buddy who can stay sober and listen to his rants all night."

"He doesn't talk much. And if you happen to approach him, he'd probably leave right away. He'll think it's closing hours and you need to sweep the place clean."

"You fuckin'…"

They bickered loudly to no end. Hange's voice filled the air with so much energy despite an internal battle. It will take some time to feel better and maybe for the nightmares to stop. Maybe things will turn around for the better soon.

Soon.

They spotted six people approaching nearby from across the street. By the looks of it, there was some sort of commotion. Boozehounds. It was not an unusual occurrence. Those kinds already lose themselves at this hour and get kicked out of the pubs.

"They need to take your classes," Mike observed amusingly, wrinkling his nose. "Or you can write a book on how to survive a night of booze without hitting the ground."

"Or how to walk upright after consuming illegal moonshine."

"Wait—you didn't taste moonshine…"

"Back in college. I survived." Hange said proudly.

"Fuck you are literally made of steel."

But there is always trouble with alcohol.

There was a straggler. Hange had to raise her eyeglasses and spotted a lumbering image that was a few yards away from the group.

"Uh-oh," Mike grabbed Hange's arm. "We gotta go before those fuckers cross the street. I'm not in the mood to make them kiss the pavements."

"Uh-okay." Hange said, turning around but instantly forced to turn back and give a second look.

The group scattered in places and Hange realized they were not actually drunk. It almost appeared that the straggler was making the scene all this time. She must have consumed a lot of alcohol tonight but was not totally at a loss. Mike was calling behind her but she was stalled like there was an urge to stay. She stared at the figure zigzagging the sidewalk.

The blazer was missing. The crisp polo shirt was already tucked out and had red stains all over. The undercut hair was brushed back. This very person was achingly familiar enough that there is no way she would doubt he was the same person who was seated five stools away from her in Underground pub.

"M-Mike, is that… Levi Ackerman?" Hange asked, blood running cold for no reason.

Mike narrowed his eyes to take a closer look. "Shit, looks like it. What the fuck is he doing around here?"

Hange gave Mike a pleading look. Levi needs help.

There was another figure approaching. Someone taller and blond.

"L-Levi!" He was yelling with a pained face. His voice cracked through the air. Red stains were also visible on his shirt but it was jarring to see half of his face covered in blood. He was trailing behind the shorter man.

"I need to make a call," Mike said alarmingly and grabbed a phone from his pocket. He dialed out.

Hange was unmoved. The horrible sight of Levi's struggling steps and the bloody man behind him petrified her. What the fuck happened back there?

And there is more to add to the scene that will probably make a sudden turnaround in their lives. Almost instantly, there were sounds of a blaring horn nearby—she could not place where they are coming from. Something bad was happening all at once.

"Mike…" Hange looked at her companion who was talking on the phone inaudibly. The sounds rang in her ears and she turned a full 360 to locate the source. At last, it revealed itself like an uninvited phantom sweeping a sickle in the middle of the night. A lone car appeared from behind her, its beams flashing ceaselessly as if it signals anyone to stay out of the way. It was speeding haphazardly—winding the wide road, occupying all lanes, and swerving at the pavements.

Think before you act. Hange did the other way around. It took seconds to make a move—her head whipping behind her to calculate the distance of the vehicle approaching and then, turning back to Levi who was ten yards away from her and a potential target for collision. She acted fast on instinct and everything went in slow motion. She was aware of Mike screaming behind her as she dashed across the street. Another car to her left screeched to a stop as it was headed to cross the intersection. She jumped sideways—shocked—tapping the hood of the car as it almost rammed against her. She did not hear the horns. She did not see the headlights. Her side peripherals shut down like horse blinders as her line of sight was reduced to a tunnel. She managed to cross the next lane until she was only a few sprints away from Levi. He was visibly disoriented and close to passing out. He is too wasted to see what is coming before him.

"Hange! Look out!" She heard Mike screaming.

Screams from all directions followed mixed with the honking horn grating her ears.

With her lean body forward, she planted her heel against concrete and pushed up her legs to gain momentum. Before she knew it, she was already sprint-running as she launched herself towards Levi. She jumped at him in a bear-hug and grappled him out of the speeding car's rage path.

She could not tell what hit her. Or was it Levi's flailed body against her own? She was braced for a brute force to fatally send her flying several meters away from an impact that didn't happen. Instead, the biting sound of metal hitting metal superseded the event.

They hit the ground violently. Hange was in no way adept at cushioning a blow from a thoughtless and miscalculated action. However, she was aware of the initial pain as she took the landing first, knocking the air out of her lungs. It took them several spins to the ground, her tight grip on Levi unbroken, and only halted a second later as she heard another clank of metal. Shit.

Hange forced her eyes open—almost unfeeling as adrenaline worked itself to ward off all sorts of coming pain. Was it over? She found herself on top of him, his face buried at the crook of her neck as her hands are protectively clamped around his head. She untangled herself almost immediately when she realized an exposed part of his head hit the base of something—her eyes couldn't tell.

Not good.

She gingerly cupped his face between her hands, scanning his face for a response. "Hey! Can you hear me?!"

She leaned close enough to check his eyes. Her vision failed to see what was wrong. Great, she lost her glasses somewhere. He was half-conscious but losing it, lips slightly parted. "You with me?! Hang on!"

Hange turned her head around and saw silhouettes of people coming out of nowhere. The car crash must have alerted onlookers as they gathered around a deformed metal post—the thing that effectively stopped the car's rampage. The familiar scene unfolding around her felt like the yesteryears of tight reflexes, alertness, and unending hustle in the face of disaster. But it felt different today. A pang of fear numbed her to her spot. Her hands were still on his face and she was sure Levi's irises are staring back at her unblinkingly. She steadied her eyes on him—damn she can't see him clearly!

"Hange!" Mike's voice rang through the crowd.

The crowd pooled around her and she felt strong arms tearing her off Levi. She blinked her eyes to pick out a single image that will assure her that the man she risked her life for was okay. Soon, another man bent over and checked on him. It was the blond guy with that bloody face-holding a bloody cloth to his head and instructing a man in uniform to assist the guy on the ground.

"The hell Hange! Are you fucking crazy?" Mike was pulling her out of the throng of curious eyes, out of her single focus on Levi.

Hange blanked out. Her face like white sheet. "Mike..."

"I'm glad the responders are quick," Mike put his hands on her shoulder and led her out further. They stood a few meters from the wreckage of the car. "I wasn't sure about the ones on the car though. It's totaled."

"Mike…"

"God Hange, that was reckless and you had it rough last week! What are you thinking?! It was fucking suicide!"

Hange looked at the crowd. "But Levi…"

"Hange!" Mike squeezed her shoulders. "He'll be fine! He's taken care of!"

"Okay..." Hange said, a little disoriented. "But my glasses…I lost my glasses..."

"We'll get you another," Mike said. He noticed the tremors. "I'm taking you home. Hange, are you really okay?"

She was shaking relentlessly, almost involuntarily. She looked around her and saw faint colors and shapes that only worsened her senses. Bright lights are coming like waves, sirens blaring off, and more gnashing noises drowned out her consciousness. She held herself together.

"Hange, hey." Mike shook her shoulders. "That's a fucking close call! I... I can't describe it but I thought I'd lose you right on the spot. Why would you do something like that?!"

Hange could barely recall. She did a reckless action but definitely out of instinct. She looked back at Levi and saw the paramedics taking him away. She looked at Mike helplessly. "He's gonna die and I can't simply watch…"

"Or more likely there's two of you dead! God Hange, a sane person would just stand back. You just pulled out a lucky card."

"I'm a rescue officer. I save lives…" Hange slurred. Mike steadied her form. She was shivering. She was hyperventilating. "I lost three lives last week... I can't watch deaths anymore."

"Hey..." Mike gave her a comforting hug. Hange's state of mind was obviously unwell. She was also half-drunk. "You okay? Are you hurt?"

Hange's elbows were hurting. So were her knees. Her breathing was labored, getting worse. "Ackerman had a meltdown..."

"What?"

"I was wrong into thinking he handles it too well... turns out he's totally wasted," Hange said, referring to Levi's worldly problems.

"Hey, stop it. Don't concern yourself too much about a random person. You did well saving him but can you look after yourself first?" Mike knew the signs. The alcohol kicked in, coupled with an apparent panic attack. "I'm getting you home."

"O-okay..." Hange said, locking her arm with Mike. "I... I don't feel good right now..."

"You're fucking insane, Hange. Always."

Mike was right. Maybe saving lives is just going to make it worse.

Notes:

Thanks fore reading! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!

Chapter 4

Summary:

More strange memories are haunting Levi.

Hange finally comes for a visit.

Notes:

Some parts of this chapter (and the previous ones) may contain spoilers from the canon universe.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The wind felt biting that morning, unobstructedly kissing every part of him that was exposed. It doesn't follow a path, hence a little too gusty—circling in different directions all at once. He was shaky and unsteady, looking at the vast greenery stretching out to the horizon. At the sight of these landscapes, he recalled expeditions where they'll venture into the unknown. Expeditions of uncharted territory that required hundreds of soldiers towards one goal and a handful could not make it back alive. He had seen those moments and hurt at the realization that for every damn time they stray themselves out in the open, carnage should be dealt with, a guttural scream will be heard, a body will be snapped in half, and sometimes…left traceless. As the images became more and more vivid, he was desensitized. Could he react? Could he feel anything? He could only helplessly watch tragedies unfold before his eyes and accept the fact that if the world had been too cruel for him to exist, he should at least survive and experience what it's like to be finally free of its cruelty.

Humanity's hope for far-fetched freedom was entrusted to him—being the most valuable soldier who seemed a step closer to invincibility. He was feared, respected, and yet heavily depended on. He cannot guard the weak at all times. He cannot watch everyone's back. He had the strength of a hundred soldiers but one body cannot be present in different places at the same time. Tragedy comes when he's the only surviving wolf among his pack.

He recalled those times when soldiers dedicate their lives to claim humanity from the huge predators that kept them hidden and protected behind the walls. They started at a very young age and sat for hours where strategic formations for outside missions were discussed. Eventually, these soldiers became pawns, experiments, specimens—whatever that makes them the ultimate sacrifice just to preserve their race for the coming generations. They must train harder, be adept on the battlefield just to stay alive—just to live another day where they will be sent out again on those grounds where blood kept spilling, limbs tearing apart, and lives being taken. It was a world that lived in fear and uncertainties. A world where fighting and surviving kept him busy.

It was the world close to his heart. It was the world he remembered. It was the world he sought to claim him back.

Somewhere in his memory, a forest came into view. Nestled deeply in the lush were two people who probably managed to survive death that day. One could be him. He heard a familiar voice nearby who kept talking as he slept. He felt shooting pain across his face, his body, his hands—he was aware of the injuries he acquired from failing a mission he took for granted. And then, he's lying somewhere, steadfast, covered by something warm and comfortable. He knew he was taken care of. He knew he was safe. He knew he got company and it was the voice that talked endlessly.

Maybe we should just live here together. Right, Levi?

"Levi?"

"Oh shit, Levi..."

He opened his eyes and heard a new set of voices.

"The hell are you doing up there?!"

The switch from one world to another was frequenting him a lot lately. Sometimes, he could not even tell what is real and where he stands. With his mind in one world and his body in the other, he felt divided. But one thing is for sure, albeit the cruelty of the world in his mind—he found comfort in it. Familiarity in it.

It dawned on him that he was standing over a building's parapet—perfectly balanced like a harness held him and falling off deemed safe. He looked down and realized the head-dropping height that threatened to suck him down. He was clueless about how he got there in the first place. As vertigo kicked in and his knees slightly buckled beneath him, he spun around and saw Mikasa and Zeke unmoved from their spot. Both are sporting the most horrified expression on their faces.

"Levi… please, not like that…" Mikasa cautiously said. "Get down, please?"

"Levi, we already talked, didn't we? You're just confused..." Zeke was hesitant to take a step forward.

The hell is going on? Levi twisted his body again to face the skyline and raised his arms. "You think I'm going to jump off?" he asked mockingly.

Mikasa bit the inside of her cheek and looked at Zeke anxiously. She could not tell if Levi had actual plans on self-harm or totally lost it.

Levi deliberately let himself fall backwards like he'd do on a bed. His arms flailed in a free-falling manner but just in time somersaulted midair, landing gracefully on both feet and doing a safety roll to lessen the impact. The move was satisfyingly agile and smooth as if he can expertly perform another act with ease. Zeke's jaw dropped.

"There. Happy now?" Levi stood up straight and brushed himself like nothing happened. He gave Mikasa a questioning look. "I'm just getting some air. The hell are you thinking? Don't we all love standing on top of the walls when we need a breather?"

"What?" Mikasa asked incredulously. "What walls?"

Levi was surprised at what he just said. Walls? He stepped towards the parapet and inspected his surroundings once again. The expanse of the landscapes and greenery were nowhere in sight. Instead, buildings and infrastructures piled up before his eyes. What the hell was the imagery he experienced a little while ago? Was he hallucinating?

"There are no walls. You were on the rooftop of the hospital and we have been looking for you all this time!" Mikasa said. "We're planning to get you out tomorrow but with what you're doing, we can't be sure if it's safe to send you home."

"I'm fine Mikasa! I'm not gonna fucking stay here for another day."

"Then what's up with you standing at the edge of a building knowing one smooth sweep of the wind can be fatal? And you practically just woke up from the dead. Do you really intend to die?!"

"Shut it you two," Zeke cut in and closed the door behind him. He cleared his throat and eyed Levi darkly. "Levi, what was that?"

"What?!"

"Why are you up there?"

Levi could not remember. Could he be dreaming that time when he thought he was watching an approaching menace from a distance? A blazing, humongous creature that outshined the spectacle of fiery daybreak? He remembered panicked soldiers gathering around him and thinking of ways to evacuate people behind the walls. Cannons were lined up and boxes of gunpowder were bundled up. Some of them are wearing strange gears and someone had magically transformed into a giant humanoid.

But his attention was caught by someone who took part in engineering the attack. Someone injured. Their arm had a sling—probably from a recent injury. Their voice was encouraging and enthused as if their plans would work. He could barely see the expression on their face but he saw a huge, manic grin behind their glasses. Optimistic even. Among the crowd of either terrified or stony faces he saw that day, that particular face shined brightly at the first crack of sunrise.

"Levi?" Zeke pressed again.

"Don't know. I'm here for the sunrise," Levi drawled, dodging the insufferable truth. "And get my mind off things that plague me every now and then."

"You could at least use some company," Mikasa said. "What if we didn't see you? What if nobody saw you walking around? What if we find you…"

"Nothing happened," Levi said peevishly.

"It's fine Mikasa. Nothing bad happened. Maybe he really needs some air…" Zeke told her.

"There are windows in his room. You can even see the sunrise from there. He can goddamn sit at the window without having to climb up here and stand on the ledge like a freak show!"

It wasn't like her at all. As much as he remembered, Mikasa was not too caring around him. Never. Maybe she does a bit and saw a snippet of memory when she asked about an injury from a retrieval mission.

How was your leg?

And that was all there is to it.

"There is another thing," Zeke's glasses were at the tip of his nose, eyes wary. "I don't remember you doing a stunt like that. The backflip. You were never a gymnast at school. Never did acrobats all your life."

Levi cocked his head. "What is wrong with doing backflips? I've been doing that all my life."

"No…" Mikasa countered, shaking her head confusingly. "Levi, I never ever saw you doing something that. Not once. We aren't too fond of each other as siblings but I am dead sure you're not that skilled."

"We've been friends for too long and neither had I remembered you acquiring moves that can break your bones," Zeke said. "Levi, you hurting or any?"

"No. Goddammit, I'm perfectly fine," Levi insisted.

"This is ridiculous. Levi, how can you say you are doing that all your life? That stunt required years of training, starting at early childhood where bones are more flexible," Zeke explained.

"I told you I've been doing that all my life. Back in the underground, I was self-taught as a teenager so I can survive the violence there. And then I got recruited as a soldier. Those movements are required when you train with an ODM gear," Levi rattled on.

Mikasa's stomach turned.

"What is an ODM gear? You are saying things that aren't familiar to us," Zeke said. "Tell me, what do you remember? What are the events you remember? Soldier? You were never a soldier."

"Shit," Levi cursed, feeling the realization hit him once again. "There are things I remembered vaguely. Sometimes, memories transport me to places that I thought were real because they were familiar enough."

Mikasa held onto him and walked him towards the door. "Let's go. We'll take this conversation somewhere else."

Levi shoved her aside. "Mikasa, I'm fine. You don't have to hold me like an old man."

"Levi, you aren't fine! You had strange memories that make you seem like another person. Why won't you listen to us?"

"Mikasa, let him be," Zeke said. "It's still too early to tell his condition. It will take time. We'll figure it out."

Levi looked at both his sister and Zeke. Their worry is apparent which was strange—almost foreign.

"Thank God someone informed me that you were seen headed here. Levi, don't you dare do something dangerous again. Whatever you remembered-memories, people-we will talk about it. Listen, we are anticipating you will have slightly different actions from the moment you woke up but what I am not anticipating is witnessing a skill we didn't think you have. I can't possibly say theories just yet but it's getting weirder and weirder as time goes. This is beyond me. Please remember me and Mikasa will guide you through this."

"Yeah right," Levi said in a bored tone. "Just don't feed me with bullshit. Especially you, Zeke."

"Levi," Mikasa gripped his arm tightly. "Speak for yourself. Aren't you the one bullshitting us the very moment you woke up?"

Levi's eyes narrowed apprehensively. He said nothing anymore. Yes. He is definitely trapped in the wrong world.

The nurse station was tended by two people. The hallways were empty except for a few doctors making rounds or visitors coming in and out. A red-haired nurse was interrupted with her paperwork when a pot of pansies was soundly placed on the front desk.

"Well, hello dear Hange!" The red-haired girl beamed.

"Hi Nifa," Hange greeted cheerfully then laid a paper cup of coffee on the desk.

"Oh right, pansies for well-being. I must really say you own a garden," Nifa said and took the coffee. "Great, I was just about to go outside for this."

"I've been bringing you coffees during my visit. Was I a tad early today?"

Nifa looked at the calendar behind her. "I thought you were coming yesterday actually."

Hange looked at her digital watch to see the date. "Sorry I never thought you were keen about my visits."

"Maybe because you're a constant. I mean… Mr. Ackerman's mysterious visitor who never even tried of checking him out in his room."

"Wasn't even necessary. I'm fine with updates though."

Nifa nodded absent-mindedly. She noticed the new look. "Nice hair by the way. You looked more relaxed."

"Thanks. It's been getting in my way of drinking."

Nifa was pleasantly surprised. "Wow. Someone too had the alcohol bladder in their anatomy. I think we should hang out!"

"Sure."

"Well anyway, I guess it's a good day to drop by. Good news, Ackerman's finally awake."

It was something Hange was not expecting. Was it too soon? But it's been way too long enough. Sure is, there must be a reason why she dropped by the hospital early in the morning. But the news was not in any way life-changing. It was not a job promotion or winning the lottery to scream her head off. But something—this was something she wanted to hear for a long time since that night. She decided then, it was pleasant to her ears.

She regretted the time when she did not check on Levi after tackling him to the ground. She could have introduced herself as his companion and hopped on the ambulance the very moment he was transported off. She could have waited by the emergency room and waited for the results. But was she an important person in his life that she had to be beside him at that time? Of course, people from his side will be standing by already. It's not like Levi was living alone all his life. And it's not like she invited herself to be a part of his.

She had her first panic attack when she asked Mike to take her home after the incident. He and Moblit had to watch over her until morning. She remembered curling up fully clothed in the tub with a hot shower on while Mike was telling her something she could not even comprehend. Her breathing was labored and her mind wandered off to things in the past during her disastrous encounters.

When Mike called her after a day to deliver the news about Levi in a coma, her world stopped for no reason. Was he another goner after the Rose Creek incident? Wasn't she able to save lives any longer? She had to hear the truth herself as she only half-trusted Mike about the news. There is no way he'd be in a coma. She almost questioned her reckless actions if she actually saved or killed him that night. Guilt was worming its way a little too advanced for Hange and she must do something about it.

She had the details. Mike had been helpful enough to pass some information. She managed to find the hospital he was in and by then, she was already friends with the people at the nurse station. It was confirmed that Levi Ackerman was in a coma with an unknown condition. He could wake up soon or maybe he won't at all. So she held onto miracles. Each visit, she would bring a pot of flowers and ask someone—Nifa—to deliver it to his room. The red-haired girl could only give Hange some updates about Levi's condition. However, her curiosity about Hange's relationship with Levi was never answered. Hange claims she was just a chance acquaintance, someone who shared a drink with him one night.

"Really?" Hange could only mutter a single word. "When?"

"The other day. I also heard he'll be discharged tomorrow. Finally! Him sleeping for weeks is starting to worry me. Man, he's the CEO of the biggest holdings company in Paradis and I wonder who's taking charge. So many responsibilities in the days ahead. Poor guy."

Hange smiled sadly and slowly put her hands around the pot of pansies. "Guess this will be the last time I'm gonna ask you to deliver the pansies to his room?"

"Hey, why not give it to him in person? Yours are only the flowers in his room," Nifa suggested.

"Doesn't he have any other visitors?"

"He had, but not a lot. Just his sister, his girlfriend, and his doctor most of the time."

"Was he in his room by now?"

"Oh, that." Nifa took another sip of coffee and swallowed hard. "He's been missing this morning, I heard. I don't know but I saw him walking along the hallways three hours ago all by himself. I thought he was already allowed to walk around so I didn't bother asking."

"Wasn't he found yet?" Hange inquired anxiously, feeling the beads of sweat on her forehead.

"A few hospital staff were deployed to look for him. Also, they're checking the security cameras. He'll be found, eventually. He can't be moving too far in that condition."

Hange sighed but there was a bit of unease. A part of her wanted to participate in the manhunt but who she is again to Levi? "Nifa, can we exchange numbers? This was probably my last visit and maybe I'd like to know his—I mean, we're hanging out soon, right?"

Nifa was stacking up some clipboards on her desk. "Oh! Yeah, I really am in need of a drinking buddy, you know?" She took out her phone and gave it to Hange. "Save yours."

Hange smiled wryly and started typing away her numbers.

"Ackerman was found!" Somebody announced breathlessly and Hange jumped.

"Oh Abel, you're still here? I thought your shift was over," Nifa said, snickering at the sight of a stressed-out guy who looked like he had been on 48-hour duty.

"It was," the sandy-haired guy sighed and put away his own glasses. He moved beside Nifa and slumped on a chair. "Can you believe it? He's been missing for hours and nobody noticed? For someone who's been in a coma, he couldn't be walking around and pulling off some hide-and-seek game. Guy had his fun, huh?"

"Take it easy. Maybe he just wants to spend his time somewhere alone…"

"At the rooftop?" Abel asked with a scowl.

"Maybe he wants to see the sunrise. It's a calming therapy. Works for me so it definitely works for anyone."

"Yeah. Does your calming therapy involve standing on the ledge?"

"W-what? Standing on the ledge how?"

"On two feet? Perched at the edge of a parapet wall?"

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nifa, you were there when he attacked Dr. Jaeger and he had to be tranquilized. And now, he almost caused another trouble by standing at the rooftop's ledge like he's about to jump. Thank God it's early in the morning and some utility man saw him that alerted the nurse station and his doctor. Do you think he's gone mad?"

Hange had been listening to their exchange and suddenly felt goosebumps trailing across her arms.

"You are too loud, Abel!" Nifa castigated him. "I'm sorry you heard all of that, Hange."

Hange shook her head. "It's okay. But looks like I missed some important details about Mr. Ackerman."

Abel finally noticed her. "Hange, I didn't notice it was you. Geez, maybe I should really need a rest. Looking for Ackerman for straight three hours left me jaded."

"Go home, Abe. Looking for Ackerdude all morning took a toll on you," Nifa said.

"W-wait, what about… Ackerman gone mad? How can you say so?" Hange interrupted.

Nifa glared at Abel, then gave Hange a doubtful look. "It shouldn't be disclosed actually but… okay…since we're already friends and I know you need updates about him, well…. we think he's a little messed up in the head after waking up."

"What do you mean?"

"From what we saw, he attacked his doctor the other day. We saw them in the hallway just outside his room and it was quite shocking. I worked in a mental institution before and saw the same thing happening on a daily basis. But that's just it. I dunno about this morning though," Nifa said and scribbled something on her clipboard. "But from what Abe just said, it's already alarming the second time around."

Abel was prepared to go when Hange stopped him. "Is it true? He was standing on the ledge? But is he fine now? Somebody managed to stop him?"

Abel and Nifa exchanged looks. The guy scratched his head. Hange talked like an inquisitive parent.

"We can't be sure if he intended to jump out there. But he's safe now. I saw him with his doctor and his sister by the garden so…"

Hange grabbed the pansies on the desk and ran off. She yelled at Nifa, "I gotta go. Maybe I really should give these to him as you suggested!"

Abel blinked his eyes and watched her scoot off until she disappeared from sight. "What's with her?"

"Finally got the guts…" Nifa shrugged and looked at her phone. "I should know when we meet again for a few drinks."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Are you sure you are not making it up?!"

The trepidation was to be expected. Mikasa toed a stray pebble at the hospital garden with her arms wrapped across her chest. She was pacing back and forth, arms untangling, tangling, and indignantly dismissing every word that is coming from her brother. But she asked for it—everything that his brain processes at the moment then suddenly regretted hearing that was said. It appears Levi was lost in the equation of reality or the sections of his brain might have been too fueled by something else —some parts missing but ninety percent gibberish. It didn't even make sense that at the back of some strange memories Levi had, Mikasa was just a fellow soldier he shared the same name and he mentored during his time as a Captain.

"Stop it, Mikasa. Levi could be telling the truth." Zeke was sitting beside Levi on one of the marble chairs beside a fountain.

"But there's no truth to that!" Mikasa argued. "Do you even want Levi to remember you as a villain who can turn into a monkey, throwing rocks at people and killing them to incite war between nations? Absurdity."

Levi was silent. Observing Mikasa throwing a fit over his current state was too much to bear. Maybe what he said was all ridiculous. Some stupid story that unwantedly took form in his head during the period of unconsciousness. But no matter how nonsensical it sounds, it was all he can remember. And that's the truth.

"How can you explain, Zeke. How can Levi have some sort of stupid memories filling up his head? He knows us, he can identify our faces but why does it feel like he spent a vacation from another universe with us as different people?" Mikasa demanded.

"Mikasa, I want you to know that neuroscience hasn't fully explored a human brain's staggering capacity. Unless Levi's case had been a constant occurrence in patients, we will be forced to fund a research team dedicated to that. You see, we can't be invested in something that happens in one in a million. Unless a whole population is affected and of national interest. This isn't even a global pandemic," Zeke said. "His memory patterns were disordered and we can't dismiss another fact that he had acquired a skill he never had. There had been instances of people who woke up from a coma and started living like a different person. Some even had the knowledge of another language they haven't even spoken before. You must be aware that the brain is a complex organ with unknown potential and we are yet to prove that because more likely than not, the strangest phenomenon happens rarely."

"But how can he live normally? How can he function as someone people looked up to? He's the CEO of our company and had a lot of things in his hands."

"I understand your frustrations but we can't rush into things and put more pressure on him. Do you even care about your brother? Should you be thankful enough that he's alive? He's just barely three days from the dead and if you wanted him to return to normal in one snap, you're certainly begging for another miracle. Let's give it time. We'd get to the bottom of this."

Unbelievable.

Levi could only watch how Mikasa and Zeke argue over him that's unlikely to happen in his world. What's more appalling was how Zeke showed genuine concern towards him despite his abiding animosity. The Zeke he knew will never come this close and will certainly find ways to trick him to his death. However, the Zeke in front of him was incredibly overprotective, deeply invested in a rare condition that strains an existing friendship.

"Your turn now," Levi butt in, eyeing both Zeke and Mikasa. "Can you tell me something about me? Whatever happened to me?"

Zeke hesitated for a second. He pulled out his phone from his breast pocket and unlocked it. His fingers slid and tapped across the screen. "I hope you are ready to hear some facts about yourself. But it's best to start on how you lost it. Everything about you will be revealed in time, Levi. But not today and certainly not all at once…"

Zeke handed Levi the phone. Was he really ready to process some information that was all lost in him? He peered over the widescreen and saw a headline two months ago: A car crash in Stohess District. His heart raced at the picture of an almost unidentifiable car that was rammed against a post. It was strange that the place looked familiar enough and the surroundings were something he can identify-although barely. However, the Stohess in his memory was a neighborhood of old yet sturdy ornate buildings and cobblestone roads devoid of vehicles. There are no cars or automobiles at that time, only horse carriages that can only be afforded by the upper class and the military. Was it a different timeline or era?

"Was I driving the car? I couldn't possibly live if the damage is this bad." Levi observed, trying to ponder that the reality he should deal with was right in front of his eyes.

"No, the driver and the passengers of the car all died. You were at its path when it hit the post," Zeke explained.

Levi narrowed his eyes. "Am I not found sandwiched between the car and the post? It's the same. The damage is not survivable."

"I want to give you a comprehensive story before that," Zeke said "Two weeks prior, Petra declined your wedding proposal. We were all there at the engagement party you prepared as a surprise for her. You only invited a few people that day and fortunately enough, only a few of us witnessed the shame Petra brought you. I feel sorry but you acted like it was all okay. I wanted to believe you really are okay but when Mikasa called me about you drinking every night and fucking up your job, I prescribed you some medications because it is obvious you're undergoing depression. Mikasa and I tried to talk to Petra about her actions and she admitted she was just confused and couldn't take the surprise. Her reasoning was not convincing and justified at least to me."

Levi listened to him but not a thing jogged his memory. Was he really in love with Petra that he had to lose himself?

"I temporarily moved into your apartment as Petra moved out. You were a mess each night, Levi. You're coming home drunk and passing out at the doorstep," Mikasa added. "That ran for two weeks until that day…"

"I guess it was a mistake that I gave you medications and trusted you are taking them as prescribed. I picked you up at the bar one night and never thought you took the pills all at the same time. You went pub crawling and have been drinking dangerous levels of alcohol. It got worse when some idiots laced your drinks with party drugs. You literally took poison that time. When the alleged hallucinogens took their hit, you smashed a bottle on my head. You ran to the streets, picked more fights and that's when I followed you. You were either too drunk or too high to function."

Mikasa glared at Zeke. "You haven't told me everything that went on that night…"

"I'm sorry if I kept it from you Mikasa. Your brother was highly regarded in our society's business politics. I haven't disclosed his condition because that will ruin his reputation. So best is to tell the press that he fell into a coma due to head trauma. But we cannot do anything about the news of him getting into trouble at the pub. There are witnesses who saw how he behaved differently that night. Some people recorded it. It's controversial until now."

Levi couldn't catch on.

"Apparently, I ran blood tests and saw an alcohol concentration of over .40%. With that amount, he's truly bound for a coma due to poisoning. It's a miracle he survived," Zeke removed his eyeglasses and wiped their lenses.

Mikasa looked at Levi who was equally shocked as her.

"But it's a good thing your body started to stabilize after a few days. Some tests reveal that you had a chance to wake up. And you did. You're our miracle, Levi. You fought death… until this…" Zeke trailed off at the last statement.

"So it wasn't entirely the accident. Being hit by a car and all…" Levi said thoughtfully.

"You really are bound to die that night. Either from alcohol poisoning or being run over."

"But I wasn't hit. I am in perfect shape without broken bones. Being caught in that serious wreckage was death! How did I even survive?"

"Because the car missed you."

"And how?!" Levi snapped.

"Someone saved you. Some godsend idiot went out of the way to save your ass when that damn car came barreling towards you. I clearly saw them. A lithe figure that mindlessly crossed the street in a panic, lunged at you and tackled you out of the way before you took the hit. It was crazy. No sane person would even think that in that split second, they will be lucky enough to survive. I wouldn't be reflexively fast for your rescue because I knew that I'd only be another mangled body next to you. At that very moment, I thought you were dead. But then I saw you with that person… climbed over you, tending to your unconscious body. When the paramedics arrived, I never saw them again."

"Someone… saved me?" Levi asked incredulously.

Levi, are you alive?

Hey, can you hear me?

That voice. He remembered hearing that voice.

Sensing someone was watching nearby, Levi's head turned sideways to see a lone person standing a few meters away from them. Watching him. His vision could tell that the figure was a woman with brown hair, her eyeglasses glinting against the sun and a potted plant was held between her hands. Levi squinted enough to tell she was achingly familiar. The vision of the person who was supervising an attack on top of the walls and the figure that was staring at him was a little identical.

"Levi?" It was Mikasa.

Levi turned back to Mikasa in a daze, his eyes torn off from the mysterious person in the garden.

"Are you okay?" She followed the line where Levi held his gaze.

He turned back again. She was gone.

He stood up from his seat and ran towards the area where the woman stood just a while ago. There were thumps in his chest as he approached another marble table where a pot of pansies was already placed. Was she holding this a moment ago?

He scooted up at the nearest corridor and looked left and right. No one was there. A hand touched his shoulder and he turned around. Mikasa was now holding the pot of pansies.

"They're the same as the ones in your room," she said. "Why so anxious? You saw something?"

Levi could not tell but he was fidgeting over the disappearance of that mysterious woman.

"Four-eyes." He clicked his tongue. "Why would she run off?"

Mikasa stared at him, mouth agape. "What?"

"Han...Hange..." Levi mouthed her name, almost too sure. Somehow, the face and the name began to register.

She had been hiding behind a wall as three people were bunched up in the hospital's garden. From what she saw, they were engaged in a serious conversation. The body language of the only girl in the group was enough to tell that she was upset: arms swinging up in the air like she was expressing her deepest frustrations. The shortest guy—with whom she had her eyes trained for a while was far from the unfounded remarks of Abel earlier. He was sitting silently on one of the chairs—perfectly behaved and listening attentively. Once in a while, he would talk but the grimace from his two companions was enough to tell there was something wrong.

What's going on? Wasn't he okay? Hange could only ask herself.

For her to lay concern for a total stranger was still a question that floated in her thoughts since he saw him that night. Becoming too invested in Levi's well-being has become an obsession after saving him from a wheeling threat. She saved a lot of lives in the past but her daring move that particular night was not her rational mind's doing. It was a reckless attempt that she no longer cared whether she'll be wheeled out of the scene dead, topping the headlines the very next day.

Was it all because she's still blaming herself for the three deaths that brought her nightmares up to this date?

If he survives… if he wakes up one day… will it make you feel better? Will you stop blaming yourself? Will you be the old Hange all over again?

Moblit's words yesterday burrowed into her. Should she be happy that the guy she saved was finally conscious? Will it make up for her failed rescue attempt at the creek two months ago?

She stepped forward, about to approach them. Him, specifically. Maybe personally hand the flowers and introduce herself as the person who saved him. She could ask how he's been, how he's holding up after some tragedy. But how would Levi react to knowing that someone awaits his recovery? Some stranger?

Do we know each other? Do you need a reward? Do you need anything in return?

"Hell no," Hange found herself mumbling under her breath, getting assumptions that meeting Levi will give her a false impression. She was not ready for questions and justify her heroic deed. Nobody would simply jump in front of a stranger to take the hit, to think that they have the durability to survive an impact.

I am just a stranger, after all. Stranger and a little crazy on the side. And rich folks are hardly trusting. Once you get past their scrutiny, it doesn't just stop there. There's still more to be dealt with.

She exposed herself a little bit to get a clearer view of the trio and stayed for a little longer—still undecided to make a move and intrude on their space. This time, she saw the blond guy talking. His voice was muffled by the distance but at the rise and fall of his tone, the lengthy speech that had Levi ogling at him in disbelief only entailed a conversation that didn't need an audience.

Especially someone like her.

But suddenly, his head turned towards her. The action was so abrupt that he tentatively sensed someone was prowling from afar.

Five seconds and his head didn't move. She was sure Levi was staring in her direction. At a split second his attention was interrupted by the dark-haired girl, Hange immediately took a few steps towards the nearest table and placed the pansies on it. She turned around and bolted out, quickening her pace without looking back.

He's fine. He's okay. He's definitely alive.

Hange should move on.

Notes:

I was trying to sustain a weekly update and was currently enjoying it. However, I just don't know for how long since my job these days is starting to drain up my creative juices. If I needed a break from that hell-of-a-paperwork, I just try to draft out something here but wasn't sure how a stressed-up brain works and can possibly mess up the plot.

Well, I'd be happy to know if you enjoy a chapter or not. XD

I am truly, truly grateful for all the kudos, comments, bookmarks and subscriptions. They aren't too much but I was glad enough that there are those who take the time to read and appreciate something that I wasn't paid to do but was basically created out of self-indulgence and (most likely) boredom. Lol!

Anyways, I'm saying this again that this is a slow-burn fic so a Levihan reunion won't happen too suddenly. But you know we'll get there. :)

PS I changed my pseud pic (my Levihan nendoroid dolls-I'm just obsessed lol). Just so you know why I am writing this kind of fic in the first place.

xoxo

Chapter 5

Summary:

Levi was finally sent home.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Levi was sitting on his bed as newspapers and magazines cluttered all around him. As Zeke advised, he can slowly take some information that can refresh his understanding of reality. The blond guy stood beside the door, back against the wall and arms crossed. He was too engrossed by Levi's condition that he had to be around him all the time and witness changes in his character and actions.

"Current events, economic news, world news, business columns, entertainment… I hope you had a memory of them descriptively," Zeke said. "Doesn't matter if you are lost to some memories, what matters is your understanding of what you were reading."

Levi did not respond. He leafed through the pages with half-curiosity but his focus was elsewhere. He hated this exercise. He hated reading and taking in every information. If he was being honest with himself, these reading materials and their content were not too difficult to process. He just found them uninteresting and needless to his learning.

"How's your comprehension? Can you write? Can you use a phone?"

"We've done that during the standard check-up. Why are we doing that again?"

"For good measure. There were cases when semantics would shut down for a while. Could be temporary or permanent. We just need to make sure."

Levi obliged with a click of his tongue. He took a pen and paper and wrote something on it. He handed it to Zeke for him to inspect.

"I am not an idiot. Maybe a little mad so don't worsen it. You saw me doing backflips, who knows if I do martial arts. Would you be willing to be my training dummy?" Zeke read aloud. He chortled and gave Levi a knowing look.

Levi dropped the newspapers and turned to his phone. He gave a few swipes and then Zeke heard his own phone ringing.

"Yeah, you're not stupid. But your hate towards me is a whole new level." Zeke turned the call down when Levi's name flashed on the screen.

Levi grunted and abandoned his reading materials like a grade-schooler who lost interest in studying.

"Aren't you a bit bothered? The way you lost your memories?" Zeke asked. "For now, that's the biggest problem we have."

"It's the way I am now," Levi drawled.

"It still frustrates me, to be honest. To actually see you entirely changed without a recollection of our friendship. You attacked me on the very day you woke up, you lost feelings for Petra and you were a little hostile towards Mikasa. You had strange actions that were new to us. You had a narrative of an alternate universe that could pass for a movie plot. What I hate the most was those strange memories were more vivid than the essential ones. And that's what all you remembered. However, you can read, you can write and your cognitive skills are fine but your memory gets selective and you never once become curious or interested in reclaiming what you should be remembering."

Levi tried to open his mouth to retaliate but decided against it. He realized Zeke has endured more than a fair share of his rudeness and to digest another one of his antics was overkill. "If my mind couldn't grasp something, I leave it at that. I don't need to exhaust myself because I really am not interested to know at the moment. I hope you'd consider that I'm fine being like this today. My past self was too broken that I almost tried to kill myself. Should you worry more about the implications of getting back to the nightmare I've once become?"

Zeke widened his eyes at the response. He had a proving point.

"If the memories come back then so be it. But I'll still try Zeke. I'll still try with the possible treatments and medications because you and Mikasa took so much effort in bringing me back."

"Okay. I respect that," Zeke said albeit resentfully. "You can always ask questions if somehow, you'd get lost in the process. I'll let you take your time. But I hope it will all come back… you were not just some average being in this world. You move lives, Levi. A lot of people depended on you."

Levi slumped.

"Don't let Mikasa suffer all the weight. She looked like suffering more than you do."

"She is strong enough to handle herself," Levi said monotonously.

"You can't be sure. Mikasa confided in me most of the time."

It was insufferable to hear. How can he even be too sure that Mikasa had the tendency to break down?

"You say she is handling it well? Was it out of the memory from where?" The question came out of Zeke suddenly.

Because she's a fierce warrior. She's a top cadet in 104th. She can be emotional at one point for someone but she never backed down from a fight. She is unstoppable. A raging fire on the battlefield. She can notoriously shred those creatures ten times her size with ease and precision…

She's…

Zeke must have read him. "You remembered her as the soldier in your alternate world."

Levi bowed his head.

"Levi, I'll tell you about this world. The world where Mikasa was not just some soldier who you mentored and fought alongside with. She's your biological sister. She was a fresh graduate from college and excelled in her chosen course. That can be parallel to her identity in that world you knew but there's no war happening here. No huge creatures, no human conflicts—it's a society that's evolving through the centuries. The war we face here was getting around each day with our chosen lives. Mikasa… she should be pursuing her master's abroad—in Hizuru. Since your accident, her plans were sidelined. She took over the company with a little knowledge of what you've devoted yourself to for years. Your Uncle Kenny was still of assistance but he is not fully committed after his retirement."

Kenny. Really?

Levi hated to remember him. He knew he was the uncle who trained and abandoned him. A man who is even capable of killing his own flesh and blood.

"But Mikasa can't be handling the company all alone…" Levi said.

"Indeed. But she had help. By then, I hope Mikasa should have delivered the news that you're awake and recovering. But we agreed not to tell the board that you only hold a little memory of your past. We don't want to create a stir in your company's structure."

"Who's helping her then?"

"Erwin Smith," Zeke boomed. "The Chief Operating Officer and a rank behind you. Ring any bells?"

Levi had enough of recalling people that he is familiar with but hold a far too different character description at the back of his mind. He decided not to talk about Erwin Smith because clearly, Zeke's account of him will not match Levi's.

"I remember Erwin I guess…"

"You didn't even seem to be worried. Erwin will be the last person you're gonna get help from."

No fuck. For real?

The towering, blond and charismatic Commander he knew was the only person he had full trust in. Sure they did have a sour start but in time, they had an unbreakable bond and friendship that Levi truly cherished notwithstanding his unreadable façade. He was a strategist, a tactician, the devil who sent soldiers to death in search of the truth beyond the walls—

And the one he had promised. But right from Zeke's mouth, there was an antagonizing air to it.

"One of these days, you may get to visit your company. You don't need to be back in full throttle but at least, try to acquaint yourself with the business world. Let's get the trustworthy ones to know the truth about your condition and have them aid you through and through. You just can't go around and pretend you're the same guy before the incident."

The responsibilities are already piling up in Levi's head. It's the war he was never prepared for.

"But don't delve into it for now. I am still very considerate of your condition. I'd let you explore yourself first. Maybe contemplate things that you might be interested in. As I keep saying, no pressure."

"Zeke," Levi started with a mellower tone. "In my alternate universe, my goal has always been killing you."

Zeke raised his brows. "Hard to take that one."

"In here, you stuck around."

"Because I am your friend."

"But I don't see you as one today. Not with this self."

"Doesn't matter. You're still Levi. We'll get you back."

Levi was shaking his head in disbelief again. "Bear with me. Maybe I'll try… not to confuse you again with that beast in that world."

"I'm glad to have your cooperation."

Levi sighed. A strange feeling of relief was budding within him.

"Anyway, Mikasa will help you pack your things later this evening. I'll also be sending her a list of medications you will need. Will also prepare the schedule of your therapy sessions at a later date since we need to monitor your activities, behavior, and most especially your physical and mental health. I'm giving you time to relax and clear your head."

Levi just nodded.

"You need anything more?"

Levi turned to the window where the forgotten pansies are still placed. A fresh one was added this time.

"They should be kept alive. They're all in their fuckin' pots. At least someone should water them."

"No one's got the time and Mikasa was a little heartbroken for two months. She can't keep something alive while her brother's condition was unknown."

Levi guiltily balled his fists. "I'm taking the fresh ones at home. I'll keep it alive this time."

The image of that stranger by the garden didn't leave his thoughts.

Hange was staring at the three bottles of alcohol over the coffee table at Moblit's balcony that evening. The day passed quickly but she was preoccupied with the events this morning. She should be happy—no. Maybe a little relieved because the man she almost risked her life for was finally awake. That's probably enough news that should not linger in her head that much.

But why the three bottles?

"Not that again," Moblit appeared behind her with a box of pizza. "You're not having these if you're drinking those."

"But Moblit…"

"We already talked. No drunken mess in my balcony!"

"I never get drunk…"

"Yeah, because you keep trying! And spending your lovely nightmares here 'til morning."

Hange pouted childishly. Moblit can really be a difficult person sometimes.

"He's awake," she said out of the blue and played with the bottle of vodka. "I went to the hospital this morning."

Moblit's brows shot up. "So you visited. Are you celebrating? That's what the drinks are for?"

"Yes!" Was a lie. Maybe Moblit can finally allow her daily dose of sanity.

"You're not celebrating. You are not even in a celebratory mood, I can tell."

Hange groaned. Moblit can read her well like an open book.

"Tell me, Hange. What's preoccupying you? Your nightmares or that guy?" Moblit sat across from her and placed the box of pizza on the table. His eyes are narrowed, that familiar look of psychoanalyzing her. "It seems to me the creek incident has really impacted and damaged all the remaining level-headedness in you. And then there's a probable distraction—diversion—that guy. But he's giving you the same mood. The hell, Hange! Go have your brains scanned again."

"Scans are fine. No damage whatsoever, Moblit. Just an ugly scar."

"Were you just holding on to that guy for comfort? I'll tell you now or never but if he was some form of compensation for the guilt of allegedly failing to save that poor family, you are just punishing yourself."

"How is that punishing? I just need a person to save, to see the value of life in them, to see how they go on with their lives. It's the job I have and committed to it."

"Nobody is perfect in whatever job they're in. Everybody fails at some point."

"That's why there are fixes."

"You can't revive dead people," Moblit said. "Death is just something you can't reverse. Be accepting of what's happened already. And quit blaming yourself. Your nightmares are your doing."

"Here we go again," Hange chided. "Please not this again."

"You started it. Give me that mood and you're in for my preaching," Moblit said. "You said the guy's awake. He's better now, isn't he? How about you then? I expect you to be happy."

"Where are we going with this Moblit? Hand me that pizza!"

"No," Moblit said. "Are you really okay?"

"I'm fine! I'm celebrating!"

"With a doomed face."

Hange forcefully grabbed a slice of pizza and hungrily wolfed it down. Moblit watch her wearily as the food nearly choked her and the only fluid she could take was the vodka in front of her. She gulped it down like she was a runner who ran miles and missed her water breaks.

"I wanted to kick you out of my house for real, Hange."

"Then why don't you?" She challenged.

Moblit grabbed the vodka and eyed her darkly. "My conscience wouldn't take it if you ended up rotting on a street alley."

"Like a murder scene?"

"No. More like suicide."

"You really think I'm capable of that?"

"Who knows?"

It sounded insulting. Hange wouldn't even think about ending her life due to some shallow problem. Was she really this wasted that Moblit had to assume she is getting sucked into a downward spiral? "You're wrong."

"Prove me then!"

"Okay," Hange rocked herself on the chair. "He is awake. He's fine. I saw him. But I was told his head's a little messed up."

"That's expected. But we've heard of temporary memory loss. So how serious was the damage?"

"Not sure. It's… I heard he attacked his doctor. Then this morning he stood at the edge of the hospital's rooftop and nobody was sure if he was jumping off or what. Moblit, it's bad, isn't it?"

"Hange, I can be your brother, mother, friend but don't ever take me for a doctor. What do I know if it was bad? But did he actually jump? Caused some trouble?"

"I saw him after the rooftop incident and he's fine, I'd say. I just didn't stick around for more information."

"So that's what the vodkas are for…"

"Maybe…"

"It's stupid."

Hange furrowed her brows. But of course, Moblit was right.

"You should have at least stayed for a bit and maybe tried to talk to him—or his doctors. You weren't just some random person. Tell them you saved the guy and wanted to check on him. Was it hard to act that simply?"

"I was just too afraid to…"

"Too afraid of what? You didn't do a fucking crime."

"He'd reject me. O-or maybe those people around… they'd think I was someone who wants a reward. He's an Ackerman, a rich guy, and… who would even believe I was the actual person who saved him? I know they'd be thinking I'm just extorting money from them…"

"You're way too advanced into thinking that way. And how would you know unless you try?"

"Moblit…"

"If you're too hesitant about it then quit fussing over him. Just stop it! Move on."

"Why do I feel like I needed to know if he's okay? Why would I worry for some stranger I saved one night?" Hange rambled on. "Maybe I wanted him as a distraction… maybe I need him to atone for my failures. I just want the nightmares to stop."

"Then have another distraction. Find a hobby. Find another job. You can work in the pizzeria in the meantime," Moblit was citing all her available options. "There's a lot of choices! Or you might want a vacation. Take a break out of this city. I heard Ragako Village outside Sina offered the best cabin experience in the woods. You can bring some books, you can set a camp…"

"All alone huh?"

"You needed your me-time."

"I don't need a quiet place."

"Then suffer this chaos," Moblit told her harshly. "Maybe I'll call Mike. Your shenanigans sell well for him. My own sensibilities are probably a little outdated to your taste."

"Didn't mean it that way." Hange rolled her eyes.

"Okay, but you won't consider my options. You don't need me either way." He sounded hurt. "I won't say anything again because you actually figured it out. You've come up with a plan and it's going to put an end to your drama. I'm expecting you to be fine in the next few days. You can bring your booze around—I won't stop you. But don't ever give me that face again."

"Look, I'm sorry…"

Moblit stood up and gave a scrutinizing look. She really looked pathetic. "You can have that pizza, by the way."

He was gone inside.

"Was he mad?" Hange took another bite that didn't leave an aftertaste.

It was not just an apartment. It was fucking luxury duplex penthouse.

What does one expect from a CEO anyway? Everything comfortable and everything unnecessary can be bought—expenses be damned. Mikasa and Zeke stepped inside the loft-style and pristine housing carrying Levi's belongings. Levi had a hard time processing what he was seeing—spacious glass-style home with monochromatic and sleek interiors and unparalleled views of Sina's skyline. He wanted to believe he remembered living here to save himself from being overwhelmed. He was still standing at the entrance, sickened by the overexposed architecture of his home as if people would easily spot him leisurely pacing back and forth the living room. Privacy is what he needed, not a show-off. Unfortunately enough, a penthouse is a necessary asset but will never be his "humble" abode.

"Levi?" Mikasa called and gestured for him to get inside.

He reluctantly took a step, still dumbstruck by the feel of the carpet under his feet, and chose to stand in the middle of the living room. His eyes surveyed the high ceilings and dangling bulbs with a warm glow. The furniture was high maintenance. Everything he saw was furnished with high-graded glass, steel, and marble. A few bricks and wood may decorate a few spaces for aesthetics. The atmosphere was minimalist and clean but overall sophisticated.

"Can you manage?" Zeke put a hand on his shoulder.

"Manage what?"

"I can tell by your face," Zeke observed. "Does your house look foreign to you? Does it scare you at some point?"

"I'm trying to remember. It's not totally foreign. I—I can somehow identify some things around at least. But it just felt different." Levi proceeded to the crystal-clear windows that looked recently wiped clean. One would barely notice the almost invisible barriers and if Levi hadn't been too observant, he would be rubbing ice over a fresh bump on his forehead. Impressively, the cleaning service did an excellent job for his standards. To his right was an entryway leading to an indoor pool that is annexed to an outdoor pool where lounge chairs sat under the sun. To his left was a set of stairs to the second floor. A bar was stationed at a corner. The modern-themed kitchen and dining room were conveniently seen from the living room and separated by a granite island. There are archways that probably lead somewhere—a balcony, a laundry room—some unnecessary fancy space he probably wouldn't ever need. Whatever this joke-of-an-urbane-home has to offer, Levi was very much displeased.

Mikasa stood beside him and scanned the area with him. "You owned six penthouse apartments in Sina. And yes, literally the ones nestled on rooftops. The last one—the one you shared with Petra before was already sold. This one's the best. It got the best views, you're in proximity to all the conveniences in the city and it's closer to the hospital where you need to visit Zeke more often. You won't have to drive around—I mean, I hope you still remember how to drive a car but frequent walking might do you good for now. But just in case you really need to drive, you have three sportscars sitting in the parking lot…"

"Just stop. I—I can't take that all in," Levi said and slumped onto the nearest couch. His elbows braced on his knees and lately, his fingers came running through his hair. "Do I need to drive already?"

"Not exactly. But if you were curious about how to drive one or we'll see if your semantics have registered your driving skills then, it's great! But we'll take your time. First things first, maybe you'd want your home tour? This place is relaxing!" Zeke blurted out. "You can go swimming and have some sun…"

"Not today, Zeke. What I'm more curious is how the hell I owned six monstrosities as this?" Levi asked. "This goddamned place is expensive!"

Mikasa wrinkled her forehead. "We are Ackermans. We have large holdings in estates. We own the majority of the buildings where we have our homes. Of course, we should own something out of our properties."

Unreal.

"Don't we have an actual house?"

"We do. In Nedlay and Orvud. Also outside Sina. We have in Rose and Maria—particularly Trost and Shiganshina. But those turned into vacation houses since we're settled in the city."

"Those? How many are we talking about here?"

"You own four. I have three. Uncle Kenny had a lot…. And he's not counting…"

"The fuck we need those for? That's quite a lot," Levi grimaced. "And we actually own them singlehandedly? Don't we live like a normal family in one house then probably keep two apartments under our names?"

Mikasa looked at Zeke like she needed help.

"Levi, you just have to remember everything about your life. Naturally, some revelations are shocking and you didn't catch on." Zeke took a seat beside Levi. "You're an Ackerman. A CEO of one of the biggest Holdings Companies in Paradis. Your lavish lifestyle is your trademark."

"That's disgusting. That pool over there is not even necessary," Levi droned out. Hell, the covered area of the indoor pool is even bigger than his room in the barracks.

"Levi, you designed this place," Mikasa said. "And that connecting pools? Yes, they were all your ideas. It took several engineers, architects, and interior designers to perfectly come up with something to suit an Ackerman taste."

"Like we're fucking royals." Levi clicked his tongue. Truly, there is so, so much to learn about his life that translates to being too absurd. "Mikasa, are you happy with this kind of life?"

"Levi, we didn't choose to be well-off. Our uncle raised us like his own and had been a good provider all his life. All these, I'd say a result of our upbringing. We're not living a perfect life but we're not miserable either. It's just the way of acknowledging what's been given to us and not living off Uncle Kenny."

Somebody should knock him out cold. Kenny Ackerman would never raise children who make billions when they grow up. But he was aware that the perception was another recollection from the shards of memory in his other universe. He tried gathering thoughts of a present Kenny and how the younger Ackermans are treated under his wing. It was scary—more than strange.

"So what do I do around here? Burn my ass by sitting around all day? Aren't you going to stay with me Mikasa?" Levi asked.

"Some days I will, but I can't leave the company just yet. Uncle will fly back in a few weeks to check on you," Mikasa said. "But we'll keep in touch. You can use a phone, right? You can call me when you need help."

"Great, leaving me out here? I'm basically a clueless, unsupervised child."

"Someone's moving in to assist you," Zeke told him. "Mikasa and I talked about this last night. It's initially a bad idea but we're doing some tryout."

Mikasa crossed her arms. "We've asked Petra to live with you again."

"Wait, what?" If the house itself was shocking enough, the news of Petra moving in was explosive. "You fuckin' Zeke! You almost told her not to come close to me because she was the cause of all this mess and now you've allowed her to share my own space?! Sh-she's… she's…"

No longer his girlfriend? His partner? His significant other? His supposed wife? How can he even put labels on this relationship that did not happen in that world?

"We've been thinking. Petra was apologetic about the events and she's trying to get things back between you. Maybe you needed a proper conversation. It would be awkward on your part but she may help in rediscovering yourself. After all, she's always been with you. You lived together, you shared a room, you've been intimate—"

"Stop." Levi wrestled with the idea of that word. He never took Petra as a partner—it was all that he knew. The basic knowledge that they were comrades with the utmost respect for each other is never going to turn into something deeper. Romance has never been his thing—ever. He could not even recall having been organically intimate with anyone in that world.

His hair stood on end for no reason. "I don't want her here, Zeke."

"But…"

"Hi!" Petra's head emerged from the floor above. The orange-haired and sweet-faced woman gracefully descended the glass-and-steel cantilevered staircase like it was her own house. The sudden intrusion mortified Levi as if life had been throwing rocks at him and he's no longer adept at eluding them. It's not that he hated Petra at that point. He just hated the fact both of them had a bond that involved affection and desire and he was already blanking out at the images of it. How would he even remember? No. He doesn't need to remember.

"She's already here?" He shot Zeke a glare. The latter only shrugged.

"Welcome home, Levi!" Petra wrapped her arms around Levi and gave him a gentle hug. Levi could not place his feelings when all he could think of was kicking Zeke's shin and snapping it in half.

Mikasa had a feeling of uncertainty leaving her brother to the same woman who wrecked his life. She crossed her arms with a dubious look on her face. She would have been against the idea of letting Levi get close again to Petra but with his present condition that made a total stranger out of himself, she theorized that maybe, if Petra was the cause, she could also be the solution. There would be no one else to take him back to his old self.

Petra could have sensed the dark eyes that created the tension in the room. She looked at Mikasa and her unsmiling aura.

"I won't leave him again. I promise." Petra said fervently.

"I warned you already. It's not the old Levi. He could recognize our names and faces but he had a different recollection of us. I was hurt to discover a few antics that were so not him," Mikasa told her boldly.

"I understand." Petra bowed her head. "I was the cause of this anyway. I'll try to get him back."

"Good to know," Mikasa said, turning around and heading for the elevator doors. "I'm not hanging around for long. I have a few things to attend to."

"Hey." It was Levi. He scooted after her like a lost toddler.

"You take care, Levi. You'll be in good hands," Mikasa said, not even turning back to face him.

"Do you fucking really need to leave already?"

"For fuck's sake Levi! You're a full-functioning adult! Besides, your old self would want this set-up. You and Petra together! It's for your own good."

It was not that he was afraid of the set-up. It just felt uncomfortable. But Mikasa's rather cold demeanor rendered uneasiness in him. He wanted his sister's company more than anyone even if the familial bond felt a bit odd. Zeke on the other hand has proven himself enough that he's not some kind of mockery in Levi's life but the memory of shit-ton of treachery still nagged at him to the core.

Mikasa turned back at Levi and did a once-over. "Get a haircut. You've lost like eighty percent of your attractiveness—if you ever have one."

"I'll handle it," Petra said.

"Take care of him Petra," Mikasa said distraughtly and stepped away, headed for the elevator.

"Oi Mikasa," Levi called after her but she hurried away.

"I better get going too," Zeke told him. "I'll check up on you from time to time, Levi."

Levi didn't say anything anymore.

Zeke turned to Petra "He's yours."

There was a slight nod from Petra as she clutched Levi's arm. The guy simply looked at her and breathed.

"Not in a hurry huh?" Zeke said, eyeing Mikasa as they exited the elevator at the ground level. Mikasa took double steps across the lobby while Zeke tailed behind. "Couldn't even look back at your brother. Not even a hug. Say, aren't you the sweetest thing?"

Mikasa halted from her harried steps and glowered at Zeke. "We are never sweet as siblings. As if he's going anywhere and never come back."

"But he almost did," Zeke said. "And you're close to losing him that day."

"Get lost, Zeke. What are you getting at?"

"I just knew the feeling and don't get it all bundled up inside you. Bad for your heart. For once, loosen up. You have only one brother and he's not in his best state—mental state."

"Petra's already there. She offered herself which seems she's back at full commitment. One of these days she'll finally wear the diamond ring Levi bought for her."

Zeke chuckled. "You hated Petra. You always hated nice people who try to get your brother's attention. And you hate it even more that he's lost his memories of you."

"There will be no difference anyway. Levi and I weren't even close as siblings before this. We live in different houses, we have separate lives… he's more focused on his relationships than family…"

"But that's not what you wanted. You are pining for his attention and you wanted his caring side. Don't take me for some stranger who can't read people," Zeke said. "But I guess it will be different now that he lost his memories. It was registered in him that you are his sister. In his cognitive mind, families are the first to put his trust on. In his alternate memory of you, you are a trusted comrade. Listen, if you wanted his brotherly love, it will be easier. I even noticed he wanted your company more than Petra so don't turn your back on him. He's not the same Levi who ignores your presence."

Mikasa contemplated and sighed. "I don't know. But it feels like I need to know him once again."

"Just try. We're still in the early stages of getting to know him."

"But I can't take it. Was this a really good idea with Petra as a company?"

"We agreed it's just experimental."

"And there's a chance of failing?"

"Can't deny it. But we're trying. We'll try not to worsen it."

"You're the doctor here. And the best in Sina. Why can't you just disclose his case to other neurologists so they can also further study him? Best to work as a group where individual minds collectively share different knowledge, doesn't it?"

"Right," Zeke thought obnoxiously. "But as I said before, it's the first time I'm treating a case like Levi's. His condition is something sensitive to disclose. He's a luminary and still under controversy. We can't have people talk bad things again with their presumptions. You talk about amnesia and it is something preposterous and unconvincing that I myself would find it hard to articulate the words in layman's terms. If I take the podium and tell the truth, I would either be judged as biased or a lunatic."

There was silence between them for a minute. Mikasa broke it with a crackling voice.

"What did my brother even do to deserve this?" she cried in restrained sobs.

"Are you talking about the responsibilities being thrown at you?"

"That's not even it! I can handle the company myself, Zeke! What I want was the old Levi back! He's different now. Totally different! I couldn't even look him in the eye because I could no longer see the Levi I know. You saw that too. His eyes were intense and murderous like he's killed people! I don't care about him ignoring Petra and finally confiding in me. Should he lose his memories just so I could get his attention?"

Zeke tried to console her. "At least he doesn't hate you as much as he does with me…"

Mikasa almost choked at that glaring fact. As much as she remembered, Zeke had way more interaction with her brother even if they were only introduced back in college.

"He was my best friend." Zeke tried hard at lightening up the mood. "I was the wingman when he wooed Petra. I endured his rants when they have misunderstandings. I booked their dinners and vacations. We fought over an engagement ring's design. I was with him when he chose the place of their engagement. I was even there when he drowned himself in sadness. And I was there at his last moment before losing consciousness. I was there, trying to beat the nausea of my blood dripping down my face that Levi inflicted on me."

Mikasa listened closely as Zeke lyrically chronicled those times when Levi was at his best self. The tone sounded unforgiving, even laced with so much hurt than hers. She couldn't blame the man though. At some point in her life, she envied Zeke as if Levi's life depended on him.

"Sorry you have to go through the same shit…"

"You sounded now like him… the new him with a graceful set of profanities always aimed at me," Zeke said, almost laughing.

There was a curve on Mikasa's lips. "We're practically the same. We're the same blood after all."

Zeke stared at her.

Mikasa continued, "I thought it was just me suffering. Glad there's someone to share the same pickle. Thanks Zeke for being with us."

Zeke put a hand over her shoulder. "Whatever happens… whether Levi gets back to his old self or not, can we just promise each other that we'll be right behind him?"

"Yeah," Mikasa breathed. "Hard but… count me in. He's still my brother anyway."

Notes:

Still, we'd get to Levihan reunion soon. :) Maybe next chapter?

I realized I've spent so much time on conversations but I wanted the slow unfolding of the plot.

Kudos and comments are appreciated!

Chapter 6

Summary:

Petra finally talks to Levi about their past and Hange had her most memorable encounter.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

He was staring at the clipper for a good one minute, hesitating at the two buttons that prodded his obliviousness. The label only says "on" and "off" but it took more than enough time to contemplate as his implicit memories suggested he was quite familiar with using it. However, the strange design of metal and plastic, its weight on his palm, and the tiny razors that threaten to cut him raw were giving him discomfort. Being used to vintage and manual hair clippers had his mind contesting for no reason. Eventually, he decided it doesn't require much of a talent to do his haircut—some sepia images reeled him back to a timeline where his sleek hair can effortlessly sport an undercut that easily became his trademark look.

He pressed "on".

The sudden whiz and vibration of the device had him jumping and gracelessly spewing curses out loud. He pressed "off" and gently placed the damned tool beside the sink. Shame took over as he saw his pissed-off reflection staring back at him. Sizing himself up, he appeared almost unrecognizable. And disgusting. His raven hair hung past his earlobes and the shaven undercut grew an inch. He moved a little closer to examine the slight stubble on his face that probably didn't age one bit. He traced a line above his right eyebrow down to his chin and saw a faint vision of gash and stitches that could have marred his appearance. Just to make sure he was only delusional, he covered his left eye with one palm and checked for pitch-black eyesight.

Seeing his half-naked and well-toned upper body clearly in the mirror placated his troubled and inflated thoughts of a non-existent memory.

He was later roused by the twist of the doorknob, followed by soft knocks. Petra's voice was muffled behind the locked door. He must have forgotten there was another person in the house and according to some biographical information that Zeke and Mikasa presented to him, she was meant to live with him under the same roof.

"Levi, Are you okay in there?"

He didn't move.

"Hey, just answer me. It's been over an hour…"

He didn't respond.

There was panic in her voice. "I'm coming in…"

It was pretty easy to have access to his privacy. The sounds of a key being forced in and the creak of the door gave Levi a disgruntled look but he couldn't just run elsewhere like an outlaw. The door opened as expected and to Petra's surprise, Levi was actually fine—standing half-nakedly in front of her like a deer caught in the headlights.

The keys in Petra's hands found their way onto the floor with a loud clatter. A shade of red immediately painted her face.

"I—I'm sorry!" Petra stuttered. "I t-thought…"

It was discomforting but Levi had grand ways to be nonchalant. "I'm very much alive and not drowning in the tub."

Petra picked up the keys and fumbled with them absent-mindedly. She could not place the right words when Levi's cold eyes searched for her response. Slightly irritated, she took a step back and glared at him. It was not the first time she was up for a little bantering. "You heard me outside. How hard is it to respond whether you're okay or not? Unless you really wanted me walking in right…"

Her eyes drifted to his impossibly chiseled form and the red shade on her face deepened further. For a man with inactivity for two months, how the hell has his body retained a disarmingly pretty good shape? Petra could not deny her blooming unease like she was falling in love with him again for the first time.

Levi shrugged it off and casually turned back to the mirror to finger-comb his hair. Lately, he clipped his hair between fingers and meticulously calculated the length for trimming.

"You need help?" Petra offered, eyeing the clipper by the sink. "Or we could go to the barbershop and ask your trusted stylist to…"

"I can manage," Levi cut her off and held the clipper once again. The buzzing sound came to life.

"You sure? I doubt about that unless you're doing a buzzcut."

Levi hesitated at first but went for it anyway. He parted his longer locks from the grown undercut and tied it over his head. Petra kept an eye on him breathlessly as he blindly but expertly ran the device a little above his nape. Petra could only watch—biting her inside cheek in the process.

"It's not like it's my first time," Levi said. "It's acquired knowledge. It felt natural."

"If you say so," Petra said with a hint of doubt. "But at least let me see the back part where you couldn't see. Just in case you missed a spot."

Levi responded with a nonverbal grunt which irked Petra. He is never been like this. Truthfully, he was never unthinking in every action he took. He would never be handed down the family's company had he been taking things a little too carelessly.

Petra only stood there and watched him lazily. He was a sight to behold but his indifference was unsettling to bear. He donned some confidence—twice the confidence he had when he was normal but it was something she was not familiar with. As trimmings of black strands started to pile up on his feet, Petra grew a little weary of his actions. He was either too caught up in perfecting his hairstyle or he is deliberately ignoring her presence.

"You want anything for dinner later? Or we can go out," Petra started, trying to break the silence between them.

Levi only hummed.

"You know I can't cook," she admitted. "But I tried once when you're at the hospital. Your breakfast, remember? It took forever to perfect them to be edible at least. And I burned two trays of cookies in the process."

She chuckled lightly and waited for his reaction. Nothing.

"Um-we always go to restaurants or have the food delivered over," she said again. "I'll read you the menu and you can choose…"

"Maybe I can cook," Levi interrupted.

"I don't think so. You hated cooking—I mean, you were too busy to even work around the kitchen. And as much as I know you, you never cooked once."

"I sound like a useless bastard. But who knows? I have plenty of fucking time to raid the kitchen and see what I can do."

"You're not even familiar with the tools and kitchen equipment around."

"I'm not totally ignorant. I just need to familiarize myself and if you worry about me poisoning you…"

Petra stammered. "That's just too much… that's not what I meant!"

Levi didn't respond and started trimming his top hair this time. His bare shoulders were now covered in hair. He ruffled his hair and gently styled it in place. He took the scissors and started doing the long locks. Petra had never seen this side of him like a curious little child who experiments on things.

"Levi, maybe we need to talk…" Petra finally said, testing out the waters. She could not help herself this time, now that they were alone and Levi was a little relaxed.

"Go ahead," Levi said while still focused on his hair.

"How do you feel about this? I mean… I know you don't want me here…"

"Yeah, I suppose you heard me a while ago…" he said imperturbably.

"Yeah, didn't mean to overhear it." Petra's grip on the keys tightened. "Felt bad. But I brushed it off, thinking what I did to you that day was worse than this."

Levi remained expressionless through his reflection.

"I totally believe you now. That you lost your memories," Petra said morosely. "But I need to stay here with you even if you're against it. I still care about you…"

"Don't worry about it. I'm not mad at you, Petra."

Petra was a little unconvinced. Or maybe she wanted to hear more. "Are we still ok? We don't have to act like the old lovers that we are before but I hope there will be no bad blood between us."

"I wouldn't mind you around. As long as we keep the house clean and we are in a civil relationship, it's all good. They said you broke up with me. We're not supposed to be okay but I guess it's different today that I can't be bothered by this."

"We… I'd say I really didn't break up with you," Petra said, a little troubled. "Do you want to remember everything about us? Do you want to hear some stories? Or do you have some questions?"

Levi stopped from his task and looked at her. "Why did you run away that day? Isn't that supposed to end what we have?"

There was a pregnant pause and slight tremors rocked Petra's being. Asking him for questions was a bad idea indeed. "I—I… I'm sorry about that day. I wish I could've talked about it with you before you lost it but…"

"It's okay… maybe I was an asshole…"

"That's not it, Levi."

"It's okay if you won't tell. But honestly, any truth from it won't matter anymore. I'm sorry I was no longer the person you knew. As long as I can't remember a damn thing, fixing things isn't happening."

Tears stung her eyes with a mix of fury and sadness. She planned on telling him anyway but she knew it was of no use. "I don't know why I ran away that day. Maybe I felt marriage is too sudden or I'm just too overwhelmed. Who wouldn't want to marry someone who's every woman's dream? Everyone wanted you, Levi. But that moment… it was all too perfect that I can't afford to lose it. Because there is no absolute happiness… like we're bound to have a divorce or something in the future because society had its demands-because people like us, high-profiled always ended up breaking apart. You're an Ackerman and you don't lead a simple life. I don't know if I can handle it. It's happiness that didn't register at first and then… it's too late."

Levi gaped at her like she was the most ridiculous thing in the world. "That's the dumbest logic I've ever heard. You are thinking in advance that this relationship is bound to end? Of course, it did. With your doing, it fucking did."

"I'm sorry. I just ran away that night but I was still about to talk to you."

"Stupidity at its finest."

"I know." Petra was on the brink of bawling out.

"Two weeks after that, they said I got myself really wasted. Are you aware?"

"I am. Mikasa told me."

"And you didn't do anything. Still."

No words came out of Petra anymore. She shook her head just as her shoulders started shaking. Tears made their way out of her eyes.

Levi sighed and felt her guilt. "Well, I was kind of stupid too. For a woman, why the hell would I wreck myself like that? Like shit do I have to drink myself to death? That's fucking unbecoming. If I was this current person before, maybe I'd just let you go. Simple as that."

Or maybe their relationship wouldn't happen in the first place. Petra had her hands on her mouth, suppressing the sobs. Tears came falling perpetually.

"Hey, don't trouble yourself. We're good and I'm not mad at you. Not in the least. Maybe because I feel like a different person now and totally unaffected."

Petra couldn't place her feelings. She was looking at Levi and saw a man without the slightest trace of disappointment and pain. What could be even more painful than seeing your man look at you the way a stranger would?

"I feel bad about having lost my memories—feelings for the people around me in particular. But for some reason, I don't hold a grudge against anyone, especially you. But it's quite refreshing to be this way, to be honest. Start anew. I guess it's still a good thing you don't remember all your troubles…"

"But you don't remember every damn thing! Would you rather be lost? Spend life like a newborn and people adjust to you? Don't you want your old memories back? Don't you want to remember those happy moments we shared? Levi, it's not all the troubles that make it a good thing not to remember at all. You had more than good memories you should cherish. I had videos of our vacations, I had tons of pictures of us…"

"I don't know…" Levi's eyes were cast down. "I really don't care as of now. Still, they don't make sense as to why you have to turn me down that day that ended up with me losing memories and you wanting me back… Petra give me a break."

"I'm really sorry but I truly want you back, Levi. You have no idea how badly I want you back!"

Levi stared at her sad and desperate amber orbs but the image of a lifeless, wide-eyed corpse under the tree resurfaced in his mind again. The haunting moment rendered him shaken but before his lips could utter a word, her harried steps came forward—a little too close as pair of soft hands grabbed both his cheeks in a swift motion and closed their distance.

The scissor dropped from his hands and bounced on the floor. The keys in her hands were discarded a few steps away by the door. His right heel took a step back to regain balance but his hands clenched and stayed rigid on his sides. The action of the woman—whose face was now pressed against him was too bold and uncontrolled that he felt cornered and attacked.

The movement of her lips grazing his mouth desperately begged for a response. Her other hand traveled to the back of his head, grabbing a handful of the newly-lopped hair to deepen the kiss. He was pulling away but she leaned further, locking their lips together and dominating the moment she wanted for so long.

They say there's always magic with a passionate kiss. When words are hard to express. When an argument was about to form. When there's the need to rekindle the romance.

But not to recover whatever was lost. It just doesn't work with Levi.

Petra pulled away after a moment and stared at those blue-grey eyes longingly. There was a flush on his face but his eyes were blank. His lips were red and a little swollen as she tenderly caressed them with her thumb. She knew she took it too far.

Normally, they would end up showering together or stumbling in their bedroom after one ravished the other. But it hurts to see Levi acting like a lifeless mannequin. It was not what she forestalled.

"Levi?" Petra's hands didn't leave his face. Her eyes searching. She hoped for a reaction. She was even hoping he will initiate the next move. His lips parted to speak and his eyes looked at her blearily.

"Petra, I don't remember you and I being involved romantically. This felt… off."

Her hands fell to her sides.

"This… it was all new to me…"

"God Levi, we've done this like a hundred times!"

"But I don't remember a goddamn thing!" Levi almost lashed out. "Hell, who doesn't want to remember?! I'm completely lost!"

Petra recoiled.

"To me, you were just… a comrade. A comrade I cared about and nothing else."

"W-what?"

"I have a memory of another world. And you were one of my soldiers."

"T-that's… that's ridiculous…" Petra must have forgotten Mikasa's warning a while ago.

"I know… it's crazy and it can't be helped," Levi said. "You all have the same reaction. Mikasa, Zeke, and you. I hope not to meet other people any time soon because who knows what they could be in my life in that strange memory and I'd act the most terrible things around them. Petra I'm sorry…"

Petra cupped her mouth and cried once more. "I-I need to process this..."

Her figure hastily turned around and bolted out of the bathroom, leaving the keys on the floor and the door open. Levi slowly picked up the scissor and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was disheveled as he brushed it back in place. As he carefully inspected his work, it was no surprise that the result satisfied him. In the back of his mind, he had the mastery of sorts that manifested through his current actions. He would even admit to himself that the discorded memories that clash every now and then were not a major concern.

But gloom clothed his countenance. Seeing a crying Petra after her confessions and her attempts of winning him back was a little heart-crushing. It was almost similar to the distant memory of losing his soldiers one battle after another. Petra was another unfortunate casualty in that world. Everybody does. Everybody he fought with, everybody who wave their swords and scream the battle cry had to sign a contract with Death. It was formidable but moving forward after each tragedy was his default mode.

But it was different back there. Soldiers were trained not to feel. Hell, to see their flesh torn open and blood gushing out was not uncommon. As hardened as they are, physical and emotional pain rarely consumed them. But is romance a thing? As much as his hazy thoughts could reveal, nobody has ever paid attention to him. He was admired for his skills but not as a desirable human being. Besides, soldiers die young and never get to procreate.

The back of his hand automatically lifted to his mouth as if to wipe off the memory of Petra's lips tracing roughly on him. He can fully admit that they were warm and felt good against his own but he was in no way to reciprocate the act. He was not ready to explore himself as Petra's lover. That was uncharacteristic of him. The umbilical attachment to the distant world was still set on him—impassive, dull, loveless. But what bothered him was Petra's character he was never fond of. Her level-headedness dissipated just like that, scouring off the gentle and valiant girl he had always respected.

He decided that he was no longer concerned with repossessing his memory. What he was interested is to uncover the mystery surrounding him.

He took one last glance at the mirror and saw a blurred vision of him with a disfigured face. He looked away in horror and immediately took a shower, hoping water can simply wash away the events with Petra, but moreover, the phantom of his scarred self.

Zeke could not be bothered by phone calls during his rest days especially on an early evening but one name was an exception. It wasn't even over a day since he left Levi's penthouse and seeing his name flashing on the screen got him a little nervous.

"Missed me already?" Zeke beamed.

Or excited.

"Zeke, Levi's gone." Petra shot-gunned from the other line.

"W-wait, what? What do you mean gone?" His worry lines rose to prominence.

"Gone!" She stated matter-of-factly. "He's not around! I looked for him everywhere and not a shadow. He even left his phone behind."

"Calm down for a moment," Zeke reminded her but had cold sweat collecting all over his forehead. "For how long is he missing?"

"I—I don't know. Hours maybe. After we—uh, had a little chat—I went to my room and spent some time there. Like two hours. After that, I checked back on him and he's gone. That's when I started looking for him around the area and then sought security's help. I have to tell them his condition, unfortunately."

"What happened? He looked okay when we left. How did he act around you? Was he rude, violent? Did he hurt you?"

"No! We… well, he was practically okay all along until I probably intruded his solace. I just wanted to talk and gauge him. It didn't quite end well but it's me who walked out on him and sulk in my room. I mean… I guess it's my fault. I never thought he'll take it all wrong. I shouldn't have pushed myself to him…"

How pushy? "What do you mean?"

"I… I just..." She couldn't tell, could she?

"Petra, we already talked about that. He's barely a week from a coma and it still isn't advisable to force him on memories he can't recall!"

"I'm sorry…"

"That's your second offense Petra. It's truly a bad idea that you are there with him." Zeke was yelling at the phone until he heard her crying. He bit his lip and tried to calm down. "You sure you have looked everywhere? Maybe he's trying to familiarize himself around? How did it go with the security?"

"Even the surveillance cameras didn't pick him anywhere. He didn't leave the entrance of the building nor seen at the elevator."

"Have you tried the outdoor pool? The roof deck?"

"What?"

"There's a roof deck but it's not accessible unless you have a ladder nearby. He did the same thing at the hospital's rooftop—but that's for you to find out."

"Are you actually telling me to climb and check the rooftop?" Petra asked incredulously.

"You said he wasn't spotted by the security cameras. Where else would he go? I guess he didn't leave the premises. He didn't go anywhere so he's just somewhere around you. You're not looking enough. It's your fault anyway that's he's acting strange."

Petra felt stupid.

"He's just someone who wants solitude. He loved watching the sky—strange but it's the kind of behavior we have noticed."

"I see. I'll check the rooftop…" There was silence. "Hold on Zeke, someone just came in…"

Zeke could almost hear her yelling on the other line. He couldn't place it out but he could have sworn he heard Levi's voice somewhere. There was a shuffling sound and Petra's voice sounded back to his ears.

"Zeke, Levi's already here and obviously he's gone somewhere. God, he took the elevator but I swear he didn't use that a while ago."

"Sure? You must've dozed off and not realized he went out."

"I swear to God! The private elevator should at least ring. And the security didn't see him. I wouldn't be this paranoid if…"

"Okay, okay. No need to prove anything," Zeke felt a bad headache coming in. "At least he's back and didn't get into trouble. Just make sure he's okay and don't try to pressure him. The last thing we want is for him to lose patience and literally kick you out of the house. Can I talk to him?"

The banter that followed from Petra and Levi was expected. In five seconds, the monotone voice was already on the receiver and enough for Zeke to massage his already pulsating temple.

"Hey, Levi. People worry. Can you comprehend that?" Zeke started.

"I'm free to go anywhere." Levi's cold tone bore through.

"Not with that condition. You're not even familiar with the place."

"I came back in one piece," Levi pointed out.

"Is it coming back? You remember the place?"

"No, but I have a good sense of direction and am not stupid enough to figure things out."

Zeke would love to smack the wall beside him. "Leaving your phone behind and not telling Petra? And did you just bypass security? How did you get out of the building without using the only private elevator that the lone rooftop resident had access to?"

"There was nothing else to do here. I got bored and went to the grocery to buy a box of tea. I don't have a supply here."

"Tea? Really? You don't drink tea."

"Well, I am now. Is that a problem?"

There is no point in arguing over a damn tea. "Okay, you may drink your tea but you didn't answer my question. How did you manage to get out? And to the grocery? You sure are coming around."

"This building had railings, ledges, landings, and balconies for my convenience. And then the grocery. I know what a grocery is and they don't sell shit. What do you take me for?"

Zeke wrinkled his forehead, trying to make sense of what he just heard. "What do you mean… no fuck! Did you attempt to climb down the building through the tenants' balconies?"

"It's basic."

"I understand you have a crazy world in your head where you do unconventional things but I'm reminding you that it's different here. That's scandalous and trespassing!"

"Cut me some slack. Most are empty so I went down smoothly. Some people who saw me didn't even give a damn. They didn't even notice if they are only seeing things. I'm sure they brushed it off."

"Are you serious?!"

"My body tells me I need a workout."

Zeke could launch himself to the ceiling. "You're at the highest floor of a building that is one of the highest residential buildings in Mitras. There's a fucking working elevator for the laziest ass to use. I can't imagine you leaping from one balcony to another without straining your arms and core muscles. No, no, no! You've gotta be kidding me. Stop this, Levi."

"Fine," Levi said flatly.

"Tell me it's all a lie."

"It's all true."

Shit. Zeke rubbed his head and paced back and forth. Another skill showing through?

"I'm still not convinced. We'll talk tomorrow. I'm coming over."

"Knock yourself out," Levi said. "And you need to know something."

Zeke raised his brows. "Something?"

"Yeah." There was a pause. Levi was yelling over to Petra and was very much heard. Zeke had to listen closely.

"What is it Petra? What do you mean it's not tea. I read the label before picking it up and checking out and yes, of course, I know how counters work!"

"It's just a goddamn black tea!"

"Granola? What the hell is… that? You mean grain bars made with oats and nuts? How… no! It's not gotta be sitting in the tea rack."

"Let me see… shit… this is not mine."

Zeke had his eyes rolling to the side.

"Oh. Yeah, I must have mixed this up with her."

Her?

"Levi? Are you still there?" Zeke asked.

The line went dead.

Several hours ago

It was quite a relief that Petra decided to occupy a different room and not share Levi's. If he reciprocated her actions a while ago, she could have moved in with him in a heartbeat. But he was not the same man who would ruin his life at the loss of one woman and beg for her to patch things up between them. He didn't even dare follow her into her room and pacify her feelings he had just shattered.

His eyes roamed around his spacious room and noted the peculiarity of being surrounded by wallpapers of subdued hues, wood, bricks, steel, and strange furniture that he was trying to merge in his primeval cognizance. But taking everything all in has only exhausted his mental capacity to process things and failed to deliver the relaxation his system needs.

He did a forearm stand.

He stood on his hands, let go of one hand, and found the right balance to retain the position. It lasted for several minutes when blood started to collect on his head and his full weight straining his arm. He did a handspring and landed with a graceful stance. Red-faced and panting from that stunt, he felt good. Damn good.

Acrobatics followed with ease and fluidity. Like running on auto-pilot, his body began moving in other impeccably skilled movements. If somebody sees him, would they be able to tell if he is capable of doing that before? He doubted that, recalling how Zeke and Mikasa acted like he did a record-holding performance.

His situation stressed him out. It was all sinking now—the pressure of not being aligned with the "Levi" in this world. He has only met three people as of now and he has already blown them away. What could be more during an encounter with the great Kenny Ackerman and Erwin Smith? Those names had a big influence on his alternate life.

His internal monologue intensified and suffocated his remaining sanity. He decided to take a breather and before he knew it, he was suddenly rummaging his walk-in closet and pulling out a white long-sleeved shirt and a hooded, green windbreaker. The shoe rack where a hundred pairs of shoes were immaculately laid caught his attention. He inspected a pair with rubber soles and tried it on, feeling its weightlessness on his feet.

The ingress to his room's balcony crossed his peripherals; the door was wide-open and inviting, giving him a glimpse of an afternoon balmy weather. He trod lightly and slowly towards the entryway, offering him a lofty and expansive view of the world he was born in but deprived of memories growing up to shape up the man that he is today. A cool breeze touched his skin and whipped his hair. His eyes squinted and ached at the rays of the sun.

His side peripherals caught the sight of the pot of pansies he brought home from the hospital. It was neatly placed at the corner of the balcony. He bent down to pick it up and plucked a wilting petal.

Hey, are you alive?

Was it him talking to the flowers just now?

He stayed unbothered for a minute, switching his attention from the pansies to the minuscule district below him. He sought familiarity in the area but the alien surroundings didn't quite register in his head. However, the height from where he stood brought comfort, taking him back to a memory of fifty-foot walls where he remembered spending his time wind-bathing, star-gazing, and sometimes, spending quality time with his fellow soldiers.

I need to get out of here.

His hands touched the iron railing and peered down, calculating the vertical distance from the ground level. His balcony view offered a different vantage point from his living room where buildings adorned the skyline. This side however offered an opposite view of the concrete jungle. The woodlands. Whether the acres of this piece of land were still planned out for a developing project for an estate extension or were left alone to retain its green lush, Levi would want to experience it for himself. Forests are his playground anyway.

He vaulted off the railing.

The feeling is liberating. His sudden urge to perform such a stunt felt like acquired muscle memory. As he gripped the baluster tightly with both his feet planted onto the base rail, he glanced down and inspected the next balcony landing only a few feet below. Fuck Physics. He certainly knew how many times he defied its metrics.

He freed both hands as he swung and leaped, landing with a soft thud at the next balcony. When footsteps from inside were heard closing in, he was long gone. His next footfalls from one landing to another were almost soundless at least, sparing the stay-ins a once-in-a-lifetime surprise—or perhaps a mini heart attack.

He garnered unwanted attention from some witnesses. He drew surprise, horror, and delight from those who even managed to capture him on their phones.

As he finally set foot onto the grassy grounds of the estates—almost proud that he landed safely—he threw his head back up to see several curious faces giving him mixed reactions. He shrugged it off and headed towards the unfamiliar greenery, exhaling the two minutes of his cat-like enactment.

A lazy afternoon stroll is not Hange's cup of tea. As her laptop died on her while staying in Moblit's pizzeria, she decided to kill time by going around Hermina District. Unlike Stohess, Hermina was warm and welcoming with the right mix of locals who cared less about one's social standing. It doesn't hurt even if she was donning sweatpants, sneakers and a loose sweatshirt without having to worry about people eyeing her poor taste for fashion. A belt bag slung unconventionally over her shoulders as it held her usual necessities: phone, cash and three packs of granola bars. Her laptop was clipped under her arm.

Her phone came to life, its vibration startled her. But even before she could pull it out to answer, a running figure emerged from nowhere, bumping into her with violent force. There was a clatter on the pavement and she found herself on all fours.

Her knees ached from the impact on concrete and wait…her laptop of all things!

"Sorry!" Hange barked at the figure, watching them disappear into the crowd. "Fucking bastard."

Upon inspection, she could have cried at the dented corner of her most prized possession. She straightened up and a flash of anger seethed in. "Not gonna get away with this!"

She was not just a rescue officer for nothing. She was trained in the most strenuous and excruciating situations and even made to survive the most severe temperatures. Yes, she had a downtime these days but she could make use of her physical prowess to teach somebody a lesson, even the idea of wrestling them to the ground. Her laptop carried her whole life in it. Today, one must realize its importance.

She ran after the figure, her long legs gaining momentum.

"Hey, you!" She called after them.

It took several blocks and a racing heart to equal their pace. Hange was very much determined to outrun and catch her person. After every panting breath and numbing leg muscles, she didn't give up.

But what was she chasing after? That person hasn't taken anything from her.

Hermina was a cobweb of heavy foot traffic and bustling establishments in its commercial zone. Hange doubted if she could remember her way back as she skimmed through the crowd—ignoring their annoyed faces as she elbowed and brushed past them.

Running took forever and fate made it clear that she was not cut out for a foot race. Her culprit disappeared instantaneously as soon as the crowd dispersed in her vision. She realized she made it out of the commercial district and was now standing in an open space.

An open field of green—the architecture of buildings and skyscrapers reduced to silhouettes from a distance. The place could pass up for a park or golf course due to its well-kept and trimmed lawns but with the way there are small hillocks and century-old trees speckling its breadth, she believed this piece of land will soon be engulfed by Sina's modernization era.

It is rare to find peace amid a flurry of events. The green space was indeed calming—the only noise came from the faint whistles of the wind and rustles from the trees nearby.

There are only a few people around—evidently a place for introverts. A few feet away from the paved pathway where she stood was a grassy slope, leading to a much wider ground that could accommodate a baseball arena. The gradual slope hid people reclining, taking their sweet nap time under the afternoon sun. It was a bad idea basking out here but she loved this kind of spring weather. Not too hot and not too cold either but sure would have tanned her complexion.

But she was burning in and out after her monumental chase. Her heart pounded soundly against her chest and felt the stickiness of sweat on her hair. She braced one hand on her bent knee and puffed the air out of her lungs like she was drowning. My life isn't supposed to end this way. I haven't even spotted the bastard.

She gasped once more and collapsed under her weight. Her right leg began cramping—the worst of all times as her actions during cramps were a little too over-the-top. And downright embarrassing.

"Son of a bitch, not now!" She groaned loudly, writhing and squeezing her calf. She was already crumpled on the ground and rolling over her back like the shooting pain was unbearable. "It fuckin' hurts!"

"Hey."

If a certain pain overtakes something, that would be her five senses.

Hange had her eyes closed. She was curled on the ground, wincing at the sensation that shot daggers all over her body. Before she could process things and realized she was too exposed in her theatrics and contorted angles, she was already falling, tumbling, sliding down the grassy slope in a childish abandon.

She could have cared less. Not until the pain died down. Hell knows how long she'd been engulfed by that moment.

"You sure are shitty as always, Four-Eyes."

The pain persisted but she was sure as hell heard someone beside her.

Hange opened her eyes but only saw blurred figures. There was a voice nearby.

"My… my glasses!" She called out and felt someone handing over her spectacles. She sat up and put it on, blinking like it was her first time seeing the world again. She squinted and surveyed her surroundings, seeing the knoll from where she fell and rolled like tumbleweed.

A shadow blocked her light as she looked up. It was some guy with a cold voice.

"God, did I just fall from there? That's how cramped legs work huh? Stupid…" She laughed it off and realized the bits of grass sticking all over her. The pain was still there but the humiliation from her quirks outstripped its probing feeling.

The figure crouched down to meet her face close.

And closer.

His grey eyes were sharp—turning cerulean blue against the afternoon sun. They narrowed further as she stared at him unblinkingly, mouth open. His smooth face was stern yet under natural light he looked more divine—more intense. Was he the same guy she was gawking at two months ago in Underground? The guy she saved from a barreling threat? The guy she even bothered to send pansies to while he's asleep?

Impossible. You gotta be fucking kidding me.

And was he the same guy that pestered her thoughts all this time?

He snapped his fingers in front of her, effectively dragging her back from a short-lived stupor.

"L-Le… Levi? Levi Ackerman?" Hange forced the name out of her mouth, almost breathlessly.

Indeed. It was the lovely Levi Ackerman meeting her eye to eye.

Notes:

A bit of Rivetra here but you know it's Levihan next. :)

Hope you like it!

Chapter 7

Summary:

Hange finally meets Levi and it's not what she expected.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Tch." Levi clicked his tongue in disgust as he stood up, turning away but stopping short a few feet away from her. "Cramps? Stretch your legs and give a little massage to your calf. The pain should die soon."

Hange could stare at him all day, but the reality of him magically materializing in front of her like being ejected by some time warp had her already thinking of her next step on how to approach him the most cordial way. Several things were processing in her brain all at once but decided on easing the cramps first. She took the guy's advice and straightened out her legs, giving the affected part a tight squeeze.

But she was a hopeless case as clumsiness and awkwardness spelled her name since birth. Her brain suddenly processed another subject.

"My laptop!" She exclaimed. It was the only thing she remembered albeit a bit disoriented. Of course, it was the sole reason why she got here in the first place.

The short man turned back at her and then to the knoll where she fell. "Wait here."

Hange watched him as he ran up to the slope and then came back down with the laptop in his hand. He handed it back to her.

"Oh!" She screamed whimsically, grabbing the gadget and hugging it against her chest like it got separated from her for years.

"Stupid," Levi observed, loud enough for her to hear.

She tried to play it nice. He sure was a little rough around the edges and felt the challenge just by being around him. She didn't know him on a personal level and certainly not on talking terms with him. But she knew how it went with him—her visits at the hospital to hand some pansies and updates from Nifa were pivotal tidbits of information that had her concluding he was not in the best shape. Spending time in a place devoid of huge crowds could be one of his therapy sessions.

How are you? What makes you here? Are you okay now?

Questions filled her mind, bouncing back and forth at the walls of her skull but none seem to convert into words.

Levi could have left the place but he stuck around, surprisingly.

Hange observed the perimeter and realized that he didn't have company. She stared at him.

"Oi Hange, what's with that silly look on your face?"

But how could she not stare? That was not the issue. She heard something. She definitely heard something that slipped from his lips. She needed confirmation though.

"M-Me? You know me?"

"The hell…" His voice was grating, irritated. "And who else would you rather be, four-eyes?"

"My name? You mentioned my name. Hange?" Hange pointed her index finger right on her face.

"Something special about mentioning your name? Ambrosia to your ears?" Levi droned out, an insulting smirk escaping his deadpan expression.

He was sarcastic. It could hurt but it didn't.

Hange tried to remember. They were never introduced to each other before. The only interaction they had was the incident where she tackled him to the ground. He was almost unconscious—or close to it but could she even tell him her name during that moment?

Try harder. Or maybe at the hospital? Nifa or some nurses could be telling him, right? But would they be even taking the time to bother talking to him and list off all his visitors?

And how could he tell through recognition? He was acting like they were old friends.

"Hold on… we didn't practically know each other, Levi," Hange told him straightforwardly.

Levi crossed his arms. "Like damned well you don't. You didn't call me Levi by pure chance, did you?"

Hange shook her head in confusion. Right. Did she bump her head or something? No. It's him. She overheard the rooftop incident days ago so that confirms it. Could it be why he was acting strange?

Too strange that he even knows her!

"Okay," Hange breathed and tried to compose herself. If he was the intimidating man back at the bar, she would certainly get tongue-tied. She tried to act like Levi was indeed an old friend. "I called you Levi because you are Levi."

"What? You cannot just reason out the dumbass obvious. Do you take me for a moron?"

Whoah. Were his words always flourished with derogatory remarks? "Um…Because you are Levi Ackerman of Ackerman Holdings? Every living thing in Sina knows you. No sane person would just ignore that name because your famous family—well—practically built this city, contributing to Paradis' economic success."

Levi shook his head at the superfluous opinion. "Doesn't make sense…"

"Okay. I… I was just surprised you called me by my name," Hange said. "I'm trying to remember if we even got acquainted at all or something but…"

Levi turned his heel and marched back towards her as realization hit him. He hunkered and grabbed her shoulders. "Are you sure we haven't met? Are you sure I didn't know you?"

Hange shook her head and was taken aback, fearing that Levi would throw a punch over something that didn't quite register in his head. She was quick to acknowledge that this guy was absolutely not in the best state. If confusion washed over her, Levi would have drowned. The grip on her shoulders tightened, growing painful as he begged for answers. Was she the best person for that? A clueless, lowly folk who only happened to save him one night from a speeding threat?

She gave him a saddened and pained look to empathize with whatever conundrum he is battling with. Unfortunately, she was a witness to his bouts with uncertainties. She was mum but felt accounted for his current state.

"I'm sorry but… is there something odd about your condition?" she asked sympathetically. "I'm telling the truth though. As far as my knowledge can grasp, I would know you because you're a public figure but you… there is no way you gotta know me."

Levi's savage look softened a bit and let her go. Hange thought he would run away but he stayed grounded, unmoved. He sat a few feet away from her and never said a word again.

"I don't know what's going on but, I just want to tell you that I understand if there's a little trouble in there," Hange said, searching for the right words to fit the mood. "I… I wanted to really think that we know each other and got acquainted at some point but who am I kidding? I just happened to save you that night when a speeding vehicle lost control and almost got you."

Levi had been listening, assessing her words.

"When I tackled you out of the way, I just thought it was my rescuer instinct that took over. I heard you're not doing fine… that you're broken and you wouldn't mind ending your life that way. If suicide was really your plan that night, sorry I kinda blew it and extended your life."

She was rambling on and didn't realize his drilling eyes on her.

"So it was you…" Levi said. "The idiot who grabbed me from death."

"Uh… yeah? I wasn't even thinking how dangerous it was to save someone. Chances are low for us to survive a collision but let's say luck's on us that night," Hange said animatedly.

"Are you a stalker?"

"Huh, what?!"

"Taking advantage of me? Are you one of my women? Are we in a secret relationship? Or are you victimizing high-profiled men to extort some money?"

"F-fuck! What the hell are you talking about?!" Hange gathered a fistful of grass beneath her.

Then it hit him. "Are you there at the hospital? Were you the one watching me at the garden?"

"W-well…"

"You're the one who's sending flowers! And you said we didn't know each other? Who the hell are you?"

The questions fired like gunshots, like an ambush interview she wasn't prepared for. "I'm…."

"And you're here conveniently. What do you want from me?!"

Hange shook her head in disbelief, unable to string the right words to answer a question she was not even sure if she can eloquently justify. Her interest in Levi was still another hanging question though—the way she was drawn to him for no reason.

"Why did you even save me?" he asked again.

"Because I was there and someone's in danger?" Hange said defeatedly, hands in the air. "Instinct?! I'm a fucking rescue officer just so you know. And I save people! I don't know what you think of me right now but clearly, you're making theories in your head and judging me with baseless accusations. God! I never thought Levi Ackerman could such be a critical prick!"

That shut him quiet. Contemplative even.

"And I was here by pure chance. Because I was chasing after a sprinting fucker who bumped into me, dented my precious laptop and run off without saying sorry. I lost them somewhere so here I am. And my damned leg cramped up from all that running! And you were here too-conveniently. It's not like a devised plot for some coincidence," Hange said sharply.

"Sorry," Levi said finally after a moment of uncomfortable silence between them. He bowed his head like guilt was eating him up.

Then Hange realized something.

"Wait, that was you?!" Was she slow not to figure out? She didn't remember the semblance though but she was certain that the person she ran after was wearing a green jacket. Levi was now wearing a long-sleeved shirt but noticed the jacket was wrapped around his waist. Oh. "You're too quick to remove your jacket and play incognito huh? I thought it was a kid. Good lord, you are just too fast you could join a horse race!"

Levi wordlessly grunted from the insult. He took the jacket off his waist and put it on once again.

"But why are you running too fast like someone's on your tail? I wouldn't be surprised you were caught in trouble yourself."

"I'm doing my laps."

"In public? In a fucking commercial district? Really, huh? We have designated roads for that." Hange was chuckling in disbelief. Her hands were on her head and tried to calm down.

Levi was silent again.

"But you know, I couldn't deny that I was slightly smitten by a certain Ackerman who was calm and intimidating. Who held his wine glass with grace and elegance. Who posed for business magazines and was admired by many."

"Bad news, he was far removed from reality…" Levi said, with a hint of self-depreciation. "I was… more than a mess myself…"

The wind blew once more and Hange held her stray hairs in place. Stranger to stranger, such a spontaneous conversation held so much gravity.

"But I do have a question for you too. How did you recognize me as Hange? How do you even know my name?" she asked. She was already intrigued by how he treated her like he knows her.

It came as a buffering thought. Of course, Levi wouldn't know. "I don't know…"

"What a satisfying answer from a man who previously treated me like I did a crime," Hange drawled, a smug grin crept up her face.

"But are you damn sure we haven't met before?" Levi prodded once again. Desperation sounded through his voice. "I'd hate to know if people will try to sway me from the truth, from my past. I… I lost a huge chunk of my memory. If you really happened to save me and if you were there at the hospital, you should know. People would be taking advantage of this."

Hange realized that Levi had every right to doubt people's intentions. "Okay, let me start this way. I have no intention of taking advantage of you. Ever! Saving you back there doesn't even mean I want some reward. If I did, I should be showing up the very first time you woke up. I'm a lowly fellow who lived through the dangers of being in rescue missions. And I don't want anyone's money."

She would have loved to convince him that she had pure intentions. He got her talking her heart out.

"I saw you at a bar—Underground—one night. I was there with a friend who works as a bartender. Your name happened to slip in our conversation because it was announced you are coming for the night and the whole crew was alerted. You're a valued patron."

Levi listened attentively. His eyes were focused on her.

Hange noticed his stares and immediately looked away consciously. "There's news about you. About being distraught and all and not doing well for your company. Well, at some point I find it amusing because as an average person, I don't think rich people like you wouldn't share the same problems as we lowly folks have. But you had it tough too so that makes us even. That night—almost past midnight, I saw you again staggering on the streets and picking fights with people around. You were too drunk not to see a vehicle coming at you… and that's when I jumped in…"

Levi remembered Zeke's narrative. So the godsent idiot was no other than Hange.

"Those days… I don't know if I should be telling you this but I had my personal issues too. I kinda failed my job as a rescue officer—losing three lives in the process. I thought I was to blame for the deaths as severe nightmares reminded me of that incident. At some point, I thought I needed to prove my worth again by saving others. That's when I saw you. Maybe it was the liquor I jugged that night or my usual recklessness. I tried without even thinking and at that moment, I knew both of us were dead. But guess I pulled out a lucky card. And then you slipped into a coma. I thought I failed for the second time but when I heard you are still bound to wake up… I felt obliged to check up on you from time to time. And yeah, I bring pansies in each visit."

Levi recalled the number of pots in his room. It matched the number of weeks of his unconscious state. So Hange was there on a weekly basis but neither Zeke nor Mikasa knew the person behind them.

"If…" Hange continued. "If you ever wake up one day, maybe… maybe I wouldn't have to punish myself again."

"You know, no one brought me flowers. Yours are the only ones in my room," Levi said. "They said I don't like flowers."

"Oh…" Hange looked dejected.

"They were all wilted now and had to be thrown away. Nobody bothered to water them but I managed to bring the only fresh one at home. The one you deliberately left in the hospital garden. I'll try to keep it alive."

Her smile returned. Wider this time.

The discourse was heartfelt and Levi knew she was telling the truth. Her words were both compelling and convincing which had him deeply enthralled. As she emanated sincerity and honesty throughout the conversation—with a little squabbling in between—maybe he should be divulging his side, telling her his condition as well—no matter how stupid it may sound.

"Your name. I honestly don't know how I recognized you as Hange," Levi confessed. "I woke up recognizing people and their names but… I remember them from a different memory. A different world. I barely recognized my sister, I hated my best friend and I couldn't feel anything for my girlfriend."

"Huh?"

It wasn't like Levi to be talkative and reveal personal matters to anyone but this was Hange and she was someone he outwardly trusted. Already.

"Crazy huh?"

"Y-yeah," Hange agreed, nodding vigorously. "Oh my God. B-but would that be possible?"

"Fuck if I know. I was acting like this because I felt I was the person in that alternate universe. And you… you had a part in there too."

"Me?"

"Yeah. It's getting clearer now. We are soldiers. We ride horses, we survey the fields, we fight… we fight huge creatures. You were… you were always there. With me."

Hange was dumbstruck. Her own stories of rescue missions would look anticlimactic compared to Levi's. She didn't respond. She was too stunned to say a single word. So she was existent in Levi's world? How is she in there? How close is she to Levi? She wanted to ask.

"My friend, who's also my doctor couldn't believe it. That I have a memory of some nonexistent world. I feel bad for them—because they see me as a different person. Even my girlfriend thinks I'm making things up to get back at what she did to me. And my younger sister was taking all the responsibilities that I should be doing."

"That's…"

"I'd say it for you. The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard huh?" Levi raised a brow. "Tell, me, you think I'm making things up? Scheming things to escape life? Fool people?"

Hange shrugged. "I… I honestly don't know. Yeah, it's something new and too absurd to hear but I can tell you're telling the truth because you're talking to someone outside of your circle. To a stranger like me. Logically speaking, if you intend to make things up, you won't need another audience for your scheme. You won't need to fool somebody who's not relevant in your life."

"Huh?"

Hange smiled, her eyes glinting. She took a second to sit in front of him and gave an optimistic reaction. "I could imagine your folks reacting to this oddity and you can't blame them. If I were your girlfriend, I'd kill someone just so you can have your memories back. Can't imagine the hurt. It's almost identical to losing you."

Levi nodded in understanding, trying to place the feelings he gave Petra.

Hange beamed. "Well, you see I wasn't that reactive. I wasn't much surprised by your actions because we are practically strangers to one another. Well, maybe a bit confused because the first time I saw you, you looked so dignified and authoritative. Never thought of a moment that we'd end up bickering like this."

She recalled the way Levi stared at her back in Underground. His icy presence was intimidating and seemed untouchable. As her eyes traveled to his overall appearance this time, gawking at how relaxed and youthful he is, her heart fluttered a bit.

"So why are you out here unassisted?"

"I'm not paralyzed."

Hange rolled her eyes. "Obviously. But I do mean are you allowed to go outside without company? Do you have a car with you or are you on foot? People may recognize you, you know."

It was a warning. But her smile was wide—ear-to-ear wide and warm. Levi could sense her sincerity—the same way she could pacify a troubled situation when soldiers run out of tactics and plans. Could this Hange be the same person he is fond of in that world?

"So?" She was waiting for an answer.

"I sneaked out of my house."

"You did?!" she squealed.

"Can you keep it down?!"

"No one's around! Hey, where do you live?!"

"Mitras."

"As expected. I'm guessing the tallest and fanciest residential building there…" Hange counted her head. "Nobody caught you?"

"I'm not a criminal."

"But you're an Ackerman. You should get attention."

"A few people, yes, but who gives a damn? I climbed down from my penthouse."

"Climbed what?" Hange must have heard it wrong. Was he literal about that? She was too engrossed in his story that she almost believed every detail. Every craziest detail.

"You don't believe me?" Levi asked.

"I…" Hange tried to visualize it. Her memory of that residential building came into view. A towering, quad-form structure with windows and balconies. "I think it's feasible climbing down if you had a good grip, strong core, good balance—if you are athletic enough or doing parkour. It's something that needs expertise and muscle familiarity. A vertical climb was tasking enough but if it meant downwards, I guess it's a little less straining than climbing up. Balconies are structurally sound so if that's what you're implying…"

Levi nodded once. Observing Hange mouthing off words like she was rattling off her scientific diagnostics, he couldn't be any certain that she was the same Hange—the scientist, his comrade.

"Have you done that before?" Hange inquired.

"My folks told me I haven't done anything impressive on a physical scale. They witnessed some stunts that I thought was just a natural thing in me…"

"Uh-huh," Hange was nodding again. "Interesting. So besides having a different recollection of those people close to you, you have skills that are apparently… new?"

"I remember myself as a soldier. In that world, we're naturally skilled."

"And it manifested here." Hange was trying to process the revelation.

Levi stalled for a moment, waiting for Hange's conclusions.

"What did your doctors say about it? Do they come up with a diagnosis like some type of amnesia or something?"

"My doctor said my condition is something new. And I'm still under observation."

"I see," Hange whispered, deep in thought. "What can I say, it seems the trouble is mostly in your head but you looked physically fine. Let's just hope your memory loss is temporary and you'd come around even before you knew it."

"I doubt it…"

"It will! With the right and trustworthy people surrounding you, and of course with some medical treatments, you'll be fine in no time. It's not a lost cause."

Levi was expecting her to talk like a book like she always does but she just looked at him with the most idiotic but optimistic expression. She was the galvanized and gawky woman all the same.

"Hey Levi, what are we in that world you're talking about?" Hange asked quizzically, roused with the coming revelation.

"What… are we?"

"Yeah, how's our relationship back there? You treat me today like we knew each other too well."

"Well, we're kind of… close." Levi was unsure about the words. Close. There's so much meaning to it.

"How close?!" Her face was inches from him and giving him the most unnerving feeling. He almost leaned back, feeling another pair of lips will engulf him senseless.

"You are annoying as shit and I'm always close to killing you!" Levi growled, flicking her forehead, and stood up, turning away. She was definitely Hange.

"Hey! Are you leaving now? You still haven't paid me for what you've done to my laptop!" Hange called.

"Why? Is it broken?"

"Can't tell yet because the battery's dead. It's dented you see!" Hange showed him the part.

"You are taking advantage of me now."

Hange was surprised by his remark. She didn't mean it that way. "Ok then. You have money on you?"

Levi shot a wary look. "You clearly are extorting me."

Hange waved her hands in front of her face. "Hey chill! I actually wanted to treat you today but it's probably a bad idea since in a few hours, you'll be a missing person if your folks found out. I'll take you home…"

"What? No!"

"You know your way back?"

Levi was silent.

"That's a no. Okay, let me at least be grateful because you're alive! The person I saved was alive!" Hange said enthusiastically.

Levi flinched. "You don't have to. Did I just break your laptop?"

Hange winked. "I think my laptop's fine. My drama convinced you?"

"Pain in the ass…" he hissed in exasperation.

She laughed. Unbelievable. She stood up to meet his face again and flashed her toothy grin. Her eyes were the nicest shade of brown. The way they spark in a childlike wonder brought Levi back to those memories of them together. "I don't know how an older version of you acts around people but it seems to me you are more interesting this way!"

"Shut up four-eyes. My condition isn't even funny."

"I know," Hange breathed and turned away from him. "But Levi, how do you deal with this? I'm saying this because I feel concerned about your well-being."

Levi stood there. Uncertainty was evident on his face. Are you kidding?

"I just hope you'd get around just fine. And surround yourself with the most trusted people. I can't imagine how people on your side will take this, you know. It's hard to adjust but I hope you'll take your part too. I mean, try to feel. You must've lost your memories but you still are a person with feelings."

No response.

"Just be nice, is all. It wasn't hard to be nice. If you happen to be a murderer at the back of your head, well, try at least not to give it away when you're living here."

Levi cocked his head absent-mindedly.

"Hey, come on. I'll walk you home. Mitras isn't far from here. I'll just drop by the convenience store for some granola bars—ran out of supply at home—er, friend's home. Was a freeloader for a couple of months now and he ought to kick me out if I slacked for another month. Well… You want anything?"

"Huh?"

"Chocolates? Sandwiches? Some take-out? It's on me. Sorry, I can't give you a fancier treat. On one condition though, I want to hear your story."

"Wh-what?"

Hange was lively, upbeat, and never paid attention to punctuate her words. She could endlessly talk jumping from one topic to another. Every little thing fascinated her. A spontaneous conversation isn't to be expected and the other end is neither expected to respond. This time, she was an eager listener.

Levi was caught off guard when she raised an arm, hovering behind him as he felt the windbreaker hood covering his head.

"There you go!" Hange chirped as she playfully patted his head after setting the hood in place.

"The fuck!" Levi swatted her hand away, as touches—generally—flinch him.

She burst out laughing. "Mr. Ackerman, you can't go around being recognized. Can't have people talk about you hanging around with someone…well… on a different league."

"Who gives a fuck?! It's not like we're together."

"Yeah. We're unlikely to be a couple I guess. But you're still an Ackerman. You worry about people taking advantage of you, right?"

"Is it why you're here? Not to let it happen?"

"Me?" Hange widened her eyes. The deadpan remark had her internally asking herself. Did he just trust me already? "O-of course! Ah… let's see, can't let anyone come close and claim you're their property, right? Like a secret relationship or something."

"The fuck was that? You think I was that kind of person?"

"Can't tell."

"Hell, did I just almost die because of a fucking heartbreak?"

Makes sense. Hange thought. Boy, was she stupid? "So about your girlfriend…"

"She's staying with me right now. After running away from my wedding proposal, is she still my…well, girlfriend?"

"Oh," Hange groaned a little not too obvious. "If she's staying with you, maybe she is. Do you talk to her by any chance? I mean… if you've forgotten all about her…"

"I fled the penthouse because of that. I don't want her around."

"You hated her because of what she did?"

"No. Because it was awkward! I… I had a memory of her as my subordinate. We're not romantically involved."

"Wow. That should truly break her heart."

She cannot be wrong about that. That rough kiss from Petra still ghosted on his lips.

"But Levi, remember what I've told you. It doesn't hurt to be nice. Whatever memory you hold of her, that doesn't change the fact that you had feelings for her in the past. She must be a stranger to you now but at least she stayed around out of guilt."

Levi hummed.

Hange smiled once again. "Ah, I feel productive today! It's nice to make sense to someone, huh?"

"What?"

"I'd love to know if you will really take my advice," she said. "But hey, she must be worried now. Come on, let's get you home. But grocery first."

"You really don't have…"

Hange was already dragging him by the arm, leading him up the grassy slope from where she previously fell over. She took a glance over him, her grin never left her face but Levi wasn't a bit bothered. She was eccentric, unrefined, and disgusting which made him spew a couple more curses.

Undeniably, her infectious smile gave him comfort and assurance.

"Ah, Levi. You're really cute when you cuss a lot!"

It was shitty Hange all over again. A child in an adult's body. Laughter filled the place and Levi saw the unwanted attention from a few heads turning in their direction.

Levi couldn't help but bite back a curve escaping his lips.

Notes:

Took me 7 chapters for a Levihan meeting...

Chapter 8

Notes:

Didn't realize I haven't posted in two weeks but here it goes. :)

Chapter Text

It was a surprise that Moblit found Hange in the living room seemingly preoccupied with some research. He was already certain that once her glasses were sitting on the tip of her nose and the wild tapping on the keyboard was very much audible, she was on to something that hopefully was good news.

Was she back on her job or was looking for another? Or maybe she considered taking a week off to Ragako and coming back to her senses?

"Hey Hange!" Moblit shrugged off his jacket and sat across from her.

"Oh hello there Mob! How's business?" She was cheerful. Her voice was a little louder—her normal range but Moblit could have sworn there is something different about her.

"Good mood? That's new."

Hange only hummed. She had her eyes plastered on the screen and ignored all the external noises and distractions around her—Moblit included.

"Say, you didn't stay the rest of the day here after you left the pizzeria, did you?" He was already curious.

"Yeah, I just went around the commercial district to kill some time. Then bought that!" She was pointing at the coffee table. A plastic bag sat on it.

Moblit stood up and picked up the bag. His brows furrowed. "We have lots of these in the pizzeria, you should've asked me."

"Really? Since when are you guys selling granola bars?" Her eyes wouldn't leave her laptop.

"Granola? This was black tea." Moblit took out the box of tea and waved it to show her.

Hange could only freeze at the realization. Her gaze beelined the direction where Moblit stood.

"But tea is better than seeing alcohol in the house. Great Hange! You are doing a great job." He put back the tea in the plastic bag and walked away to the kitchen. He called out, "Did you have dinner already? You, sobering up for one night calls for a celebration."

Hange blinked her eyes. No.

She hurriedly got up from her chair and checked the plastic bag out herself. Indeed. It was black tea.

"Oh shit."

How is he anyway? It's been three hours since they parted ways. She was smiling at the memory of their second meeting and who would have thought that some unlikely reunion is about to happen? Serendipity is not supposed to be happening between strangers—especially not to her. More especially not Levi. And why would she connect serendipity to both of them as if they were meant to meet at some point? Not that she believed their "stars" are aligned and his unfortunate memory loss was meant to lock their lives together. You're reading too much into it, Hange! She scolded herself.

"Tea huh? That's it? Anything else? You know, I feel so generous today even if I'm a little low on cash but Levi Ackerman is a little something so…"

They were standing in front of a grocery rack where a selection of tea brands was on display.

"I can buy this whole rack of teas four-eyes so you really don't have…"

Hange stood on her toes and grabbed a box of premium black tea. "Yeah, yeah. Of course, you're an Ackerman, you can even buy the whole store, the whole staff, and their properties. Well, it wouldn't hurt too if you decide to give me a rack of granola bars because I saved your life one time," she snorted.

Levi glared at her.

"But you don't have cash on you today. Maybe you should get me as your personal assistant so I can always remind you what to bring, what to do for the day, what to eat…"

"Shut it. Can we just go now and grab your whatever? You insisted on taking me home right away and here we are, thirty minutes at the grocery for two items."

"Because you're taking too long to decide! My constipated gut would've been faster coming out than you settling for one tea brand," Hange said.

"You're fucking gross."

Their constant banter was both amicable and sarcastic laced with dry humor. Too rare for strangers who met for the first time and already are comfortable in each other's company.

Levi wouldn't mind the arm that snaked behind him and sometimes ended up in a headlock. He would wriggle out of her grasp and Hange would erupt in a fit of laughter. He was still hooded and disguised as they both agreed to but sometimes, it was more believable that Levi was not a high-profiled person but a weirdo who hangs out with a restless lunatic.

As they exited the store carrying their plastic bags of only one item each, Hange seemed ecstatic for some reason. Surprisingly, Levi was no longer amused by her raptures and strange antics. It just felt too familiar like he's dealt with it a hundred times already.

The walk under the setting sun was pleasant. A slight limp was evident on Hange as she was dragging herself to catch up with his pace.

"You move like a snail, four-eyes. And yet you insisted on walking me back to Mitras? Not too far away huh?" Levi scoffed, looking over his shoulder.

"It's a little less than four kilometers and I can do ten but sneakers aren't good for long walks. My poor feet will be dealing with ugly blisters later," Hange whined. "Hey, how did you get out of Mitras anyway? If I remember correctly, the residential area of your penthouse had strict security among its residents. Mainly because it housed the most affluent people in Sina."

"Tch. Enough with over-the-top lines. I just got out and that's it. There are no gates. There's a forested area nearby…"

"Forest? You did a backdoor? That's off-limits."

"I got out regardless."

"Hey, you may be an Ackerman but that's an off-limits property. You are getting yourself into trouble one of these days if you dare take that path again."

"Unless I get myself caught."

"It's still dangerous you idiot! It's downhill. There are no established paths and definitely not recommended for walking."

"When I actually clambered down a vertical height."

"Oh, and that too-"

"Oi, watch it!"

Before Hange could realize what was happening, she felt a sharp tug on her arm, Levi pulling her close to him when a bicycle sped past them and the person mounted on was yelling jumbled apologies over and over while grinding on the pedals. Hange was in her tipping form and tripped anyway but Levi was not one for cushioning her fall. She landed once again on both her hands and knees—god knows how ugly the bruises will be underneath her pants.

"Done with the nagging, mother?" Levi asked dryly.

"Oh, someone can't hold their shit any longer," Hange grumbled. "What is wrong with this city that people can't be bothered to check out if the person they almost got killed was okay?!"

"Kill? It would take ten trucks to kill someone like you. You looked invincible. You'll be fine…"

Hange frowned at him and then felt a pang of pain in her feet. She seethed. "I think the blisters popped."

"That should feel nice."

"Indeed. You did me a favor."

"Well, I guess there is definitely no safe place," Levi told her, picking up the plastic bag that dropped on the ground. "Especially for the clumsiest. You loved being in the shittiest position, I see. Say, how often do you kiss the ground on a single day?"

He extended a hand and helped her up, handing back the plastic bag.

"Quite a lot actually if my duty called for it."

"Work your limbs. Your legs aren't made for good support and balance."

"Said the guy who walked the streets in a drunken mess…" Hange retorted and rolled her eyes. "That he brought me to kiss the ground one more time."

Levi didn't say anything anymore. He smirked and told her. "Go home, take a cab. I'll be fine."

"Hey, I…" She was not sure if she offended him.

"I'd figure this out. I'm not stupid."

"Okay," Hange exhaled exasperatedly. "Can you at least call me when you're home? You don't have a phone with you, right? You can have my number…"

"No need… I'll be fine. There will be no headlines tomorrow that I'm murdered on the streets."

"Nice try," Hange said but unease is settling over her. "Just let me…"

"Your feet are killing you. Blisters are slow death and that ugly pained face of yours is disturbing. Go home already. I'm gonna be fine."

Promise? She needed that reassuring word but Levi, in the shortest time she spent with him was not too convincing with words.

"But…"

"I'm a goddamned adult, Hange. I may have lost my memories but I damned well know how to get around like a normal person." He turned his back and started walking away from her.

"And here I thought he's gonna be my friend…" Hange muttered to herself in disappointment, watching the growing gap between them as he walked away. The farther he goes, the emptier it gets. She sighed and headed the other way.

Sunsets are hauntingly beautiful when it signals a day coming to an end. Moments are always fleeting—hell—especially the joyful ones. Hange would want to question if she had been a little too comfortable with him, claiming a slot in his personal space and taking a little too much of what should be for other people close to him. Sure she enjoyed the few hours of his narratives which were mere scraps of what his memory could recall—fashioned after a stupid fiction and had her listening and absorbed.

That probably made Levi stick around. He could talk more often if he felt obliged. If he felt like sharing or venting out his thoughts because he needed someone to listen and understand better. And one has to be part crazy to listen to an inadvertently made-up crap. That was Hange.

There's enjoyment in a story of wars and violence. Enjoyment if one only had to listen and not experience it. To hear about death was not a fun moment but Hange had to listen further to locate her presence in his story. How was her character in a state of war?

To be continued…

Sometimes, Levi was a bad storyteller and a sucker for cliffhangers. But Hange knows that's as far as his memory could recall.

At the mention of her aching feet, that ended their story for the day.

Damn blisters.

"Oi four-eyes!"

Her heart jumped as she heard the familiar voice again, making her turn back almost immediately like they are meeting for the second time. She plainly saw his silhouette like a centerpiece of a painting against the burning horizon. From that distance where he is merely a shadow in her eyes, she was hoping she could see that face one last time.

"Thank you," Levi said softly. "For saving me. Don't get killed on your way back."

Ah, that dark humor that was probably integrated from the dangerous world his mind wandered off to.

Hange smiled at that. It was just not fair that her expression was exposed and readable. But if Levi was the only person to witness it, he would have picked out the vaguest reaction.

She could have said: Sure, you too. We can't get killed right? There's a huge fight coming.

But nothing was said. She nodded, opened her mouth, and decided to save those words the next time they meet. If she talked again, if she returned the humor… she sure would have loved to stretch the time so she can spend more time with him

"See you when I see you…Levi," Hange whispered. She stayed a little longer until his blurry form disappeared into the setting sun.

"Hange!"

Moblit had a habit of tearing her away from her reveries and nightmares. He was already standing in front of her, a can opener in one hand. "You okay?"

Is she?

"Huh? Wh-what?"

"I had to stop my cooking when I saw you smiling like an idiot in there. Is it black tea you're looking at?"

"Oh, right. It's black tea…"

"Does it have money on it? Or a lucky coupon that says you hit the jackpot?"

"Your attempt at humor makes it all too lame, y'know? Try harder."

Moblit scowled. "So where're your granolas?"

"It's…uh, guess I mixed this up with someone," Hange explained.

Moblit examined her from head to toe. "Like how? The check-out counters mixing up their customers' items now?"

"It's just one false item for another item so it's not a big deal."

Moblit shrugged. "Ok. But granola bars are an extension of yourself. Your life depended on it like alcohol and I'm expecting you gave it a peek just to confirm that your bag held the right items."

"It's not like I'll be having tantrums when I don't get my granolas."

"Ask yourself. For a second, I thought that thing is taking up the shape of a certain guy like Levi Ackerman." Moblit raised a brow. "Because yes, you should be having tantrums right now but you didn't."

"What the fuck Moblit?!"

Moblit turned back going to the kitchen. "Whatever Hange, but maybe you should try harder next time…"

"Try what?"

"Try not to mention his name out loud."

Did she?

"And another thing," he continued. "Try harder hiding that blush on your face."

Petra could not cook to save her life. So was Levi. But her impression suddenly changed when he pulled out an apron and started working his way in the kitchen like a seasoned chef. She didn't move an inch, hence, preferred to only watch him from the living room as he goes around the island inspecting utensils and ingredients he neatly lined up on the counter. He seemed focused, as focused as he does with his papers when he was holed up in the comforts of his office. He can't seem to be bothered by anyone coming around to have his signature affixed on some papers or his assistant reminding him of his schedules in advance. However, it would be different with Petra. With her unannounced presence latching the door behind her, his busy hours will be forgotten as she will find herself pinned on his desk afterwards.

But the memory isn't happening tonight. The kitchen is his world now and Levi looked too worked up already even before he began. Since arriving that night, unbothered by the idea that his sudden disappearance had people witnessing a shift in Petra's character—a hysterical, pining woman who has morphed into a monster—she felt too winded.

She missed him.

"Sorry about earlier…" Levi said out of nowhere, probably sensing the eyes that never left his every movement.

"I-It's okay. It's me. My fault anyway…" Petra admitted and moved slowly towards the kitchen to watch him work. She wavered. "Are you sure about this?"

"About what?"

"You cooking? We can have the food delivered to us. Don't get too worked up. I mean, it's been an hour. You haven't even…"

"Am I?" Levi finally realized. "Fine… I'll do it quick. You hungry?"

He was soft, slightly apologetic. A stark contrast to what he is earlier this afternoon. Maybe he was trying. At least trying with her.

"Okay, I'll wait. Make sure it's delish!" She said cheerfully.

"Right."

"Levi…" She hesitated once more, stopping him from picking up the knife. Should she talk about it? "About earlier. I'm sorry I've been a little pushy. I didn't mean to… make it uncomfortable."

"Yeah, it was uncomfortable. And painful. You almost chewed off my mouth."

"Wh-what?" Petra shuddered, embarrassed to the core. It was a bad idea to bring it up. Or maybe everything about the two of them is a bad idea from the start. She could have laughed at his snide remark but if it meant her actions, it was very uncharacteristic of a usually well-versed Levi brusquely pointing it out.

"But you were my girlfriend so I guess, you're really supposed to do that. That's fine."

Petra cringed but waved it off with a snicker. "Guess I wasn't like the Petra in your memory huh?"

"Yeah. She's savage on the battlefield. Not with my lips."

God, he's quite a handful.

"Okay, but about your memories… you said you were—we were soldiers back there and never had any relationship. Do you remember having one with another person?"

He shrugged unflappably. "Not that I knew of. And romance doesn't exist during wars. We have no time for that."

"How boring, huh? People need love in their life," Petra said.

"Not when you dedicate your life to save humanity. And things like love and shit aren't necessary in our line of job. It will only distract a person. One must not be emotional and preoccupied with the idea of their partner dying in the battlefield. It gets you killed."

"Why? Is dying a normal thing in there?"

"Most of the time. It's expected. It's inevitable."

"And then I died?" Petra raised a brow, already dreading her fate in his memory.

"Yes."

"Shame. I must be the weakest."

"No. You did great. You always are great. You are one of the elites and I personally picked you for my team."

"That's good to know…" Petra's voice trailed off. "At least I'm still a significant person in your life out there. But…aren't you there to save me?"

"I trusted your capabilities enough that you don't need my help. But we underestimated the enemy. I came too late. All of you in the team died."

Petra scoffed at his story. This is insane. But she wouldn't want it to drag on just as Levi seemed too occupied in it. She hoped for something.

"How did it make you feel?"

Levi stared at her long enough to recall the imagery of her mangled body under the tree. "It… hurts, I guess."

"You are? So I must be an important person to you."

"Everyone in the squad is important to me. More importantly, because we're tasked with saving humanity."

That's not her desired answer. She ventured, "If I didn't die, if I wasn't short-lived…you think we could be a thing?"

Levi paused, remembering her father confessing about his daughter's alleged feelings for him. He decided not to tell her. "Maybe…"

Maybe no. Levi was sure he was never headed for romance.

Petra breathed. If it goes down to playing along with his fabricated world, maybe Levi may eventually warm up to her.

"Thing is, I'm alive Levi. I'm very much alive today and this is reality. I'm all flesh and bones and we're a couple—bound to marry. I feel responsible that you ended up like this and I'll carry this guilt for the rest of my life. I still want you to know that I'm here for you… whether you'll fall in love with me again or not…"

Crying is too easy for a guilt-ridden heart and Petra has shed enough tears for an unyielding man.

But Levi was not a hundred percent stone-faced.

Just be nice, is all. It wasn't hard to be nice. If you happen to be a murderer at the back of your head, well, try at least not to give it away when you're living here.

Right. It doesn't take too much of an effort to be nice and Hange's words rang in his ears.

"Thanks," Levi said. "For putting up with an asshole. I don't come with a warning sign so please bear with me."

Petra smiled a little. It sounds good at least. Better than a hostile one. "If there's one person who needed to put up with you every day, that would be me."

Levi nodded, almost flushed. "Then we're good. Maybe I could use some help here? I figured out what to cook."

"Oh really huh? Trying to be impressive?" Petra said in a sing-song. She went around the counter and inspected his handiwork. She pulled out her phone. "It was thanks to some videos I made you a fine breakfast at the hospital. Maybe you can learn from this too?"

"Uh, sure."

Maybe…

The thing with Petra isn't so bad at all.

Their dinner turned out good. Scrumptious even. They snacked on some granola bars after.

Mikasa doesn't have a thing for social media. She has had a love and hate relationship with it for a long time now. Love for keeping her updated with the current events and hate for being an Ackerman that could gain enough following but also a breeding ground for scrutiny. The public had a penchant for being invasive, centered specifically on the high-profiled and the privileged. It was a free, digital podium for everybody who loved bruising some egos under a nonexistent identity. She doesn't understand its attention economy, showcasing the beautiful, the famous, the outrageous, and that one side of the coin. At one point, it also became an open space to spit at each other when everybody thinks they claimed the right to speak their minds. Mikasa was having none of those—the narrow perspectives—so she sought comfort in diverse discussions, healthy debates, and optimistic posts, lurking every now and then under anonymity and eventually shutting down her own personal account after Levi's controversy.

Last night though was a different mood. As a sort of diversion, some of her close friends' activities tugged a little curiosity in her that she reactivated her account once again and began skimming her newsfeed. Two hours max, she told herself.

One friend happened to see her online and that bubble of notification demanded attention.

It was Armin Arlert, a friend from college.

Mika! Finally decided to crawl out of the rock? How are you?

Hi Armin, I'm just busy over the past few months. Can't be distracted.

I see. Is it about your brother? Is he any better?

Armin knows. He was one of the few people she chose to disclose about Levi's condition—just the facts. Who is she kidding when all of Paradis knew about Levi but only held onto lies because they are far entertaining the twisted way.

But Mikasa had to restrain herself from telling him. News of Levi waking up calls for a celebration but his current mental state is not something to celebrate. Even if Zeke urged Mikasa to announce Levi's condition in their company, she was still unsure of how to handle the imminent rumors after. Besides Kenny, she has not told anybody just yet.

So I guess he's still sleeping? Because I'd be really confused if there's some crazy fellow who quite resembled Levi and he's apparently trending now.

Huh? What about it, Armin?

A short video was forwarded after a few seconds and Mikasa felt a pulsating throb in her head.

Well, that apartment building is in Mitras, right? A guy was seen clambering down the building through balcony guardrails. The video didn't capture the face but… funny I thought it was your brother.

Damn right there is no way in hell it could be another person other than Levi. Mikasa had no time to respond just yet but she played the video again and hoped that her eyes are deceiving her.

That's some crazy teenager.

Well, it's just me thinking it was Levi. The video's caption didn't say anything about his identity though. It was wild but extraordinary at the same time! Haven't seen such a cool stunt in a while.

Armin, that fool isn't someone to be glorified. Cool? No. He's suicidal. He's heartbroken or something that he needs the whole country's attention! And Levi is too old for such a juvenile show-off. Hope that clears it.

You sounded defensive Mika.

And if I were the mother of that short stack, he'll be whacked in the head in no time and he'll stay grounded his entire life! If it comes to cutting off his limbs…

Whoa! Hold on, that's too much bad parenting…

Is it? That's a grave act and any parent wouldn't be so happy seeing it! Tell me Armin, can you imagine a mother cheering for a son whose hobbies include climbing vertical heights for fun and one wrong step will send him straight to hell?

Mika, it looked professionally executed.

What if it's his first time?

I'm sure he had a lot of practice before performing the real thing.

Well, in my opinion, that's totally reckless and the building security should do something about lunatics for tenants.

We're not fighting, are we? You sounded too affected.

No. I'm just stating an opinion.

Okay. God Mikasa, I can hear your words from here. There was a pause. Anyway, your family owned that building, right?

Yes. And that stupid stunt can get us a bad rep.

I don't think so. All the comments I read were good. They even say the architectural structure of the building itself was sturdy and can be a good training ground for parkour enthusiasts.

Our buildings aren't made for circus and stunt shows. If that suicidal runt attracted a good number of idiots and tried to scale all the buildings in this city, he should be lawfully reprimanded! For sure anyone who does a very dangerous and unassisted stunt will only live half of their average lifespan.

So much hate, Mikasa. Are you okay?

I'm fine Armin. Hey, I think gotta log out. I have a video call from Uncle Kenny. I'll see you real soon. Bye!

The activity status was hastily turned off.

After impolitely cutting off their exchange before it transpired into life-provoking discussions, Mikasa had to contain herself and play the video again. The video call from Kenny was an excuse to get away from Armin. She was sorry for a ratty chat after being off the grid for a long time but with overflowing emotions for Levi, she just couldn't help it. She was thinking of calling Zeke, Petra, or the concierge of the building to validate the video but eventually decided against it.

Morning came and her attention was still on her phone, thinking about tearing Levi apart. She opened her social media account once again and saw a painful progress. Suddenly, some creative minds turned the footage into a meme that earned already half a million likes and shares in twelve hours. She played the video over and over again, hoping it never existed in the first place. Hell, her own brother is going to be the death of her.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him…" she blurted out loud to herself.

"Mikasa, everything okay?" her blond driver asked from the rear-view mirror.

She jumped. Almost. "I-I'm good Erwin. And thanks for picking me up. You really shouldn't have…"

It was the first time Erwin Smith picked her up from her apartment in Stohess.

"It's on the way so no worries. Had to drop my wife at her dentist that's a few blocks from where you live anyway."

"I see…"

"And who's the unfortunate fellow?"

"Excuse me?"

"The one you're gonna kill?" Erwin's thick eyebrows shot up like he was new to Mikasa's ill-humored temper. "Hope the crime won't make it to the newspapers."

She laughed for the first time.

"I might need some help in hiding the body though," Mikasa returned the humor.

"Sure. We need a body bag and pick-up truck. Shall we meet at midnight? The last thing we want is witnesses."

"Thanks Erwin. I needed that," Mikasa told him and decided not to drag the comical conversation any longer.

"Is there something I need to know? I noticed you were a little distant these past few days."

"Nothing serious. I'm just pretty preoccupied and caught up with something. Just tell me if I did poorly in my job performance because I always ended up seeking your help."

"Your outputs are fine, Mikasa. For someone who didn't have a background in management, you're doing great. More than that."

"You did the majority of restoring our company's reputation, Erwin. I wonder why Levi didn't see your potential before."

There was a chuckle. "He did see potential, but it transcended into a threat. He thinks it was a competition between us."

"Levi can be a hardass but you know why he does that. He had a whole business empire to impress but it went downhill afterwards."

"Never took Levi for someone who breaks down after a rejected affair."

"Yeah. His emotions nearly killed him. It disgusts me until now."

"Haven't heard about his condition for a while now. How is he anyway?"

"He's awake." Those words came a little too tersely even if Mikasa was still vacillating on the possible outcome of telling the truth to Levi's one and only rival in life.

Erwin's calm demeanor was unchanged. "That's good news. So when is he coming back?"

Mikasa fidgeted in her seat. "I'm afraid he's not in his best shape to be back in full swing yet."

"Sorry. I was thinking just now that it was a simple accident that happened a week ago…" Erwin said apologetically. "Tell him my regards. Honestly, I'm excited to see him but I doubt he felt the same way."

"Erwin, I'm really sorry about the way he acted around you especially during his first year being a CEO. He's not that really hard on everybody but you."

"You don't have to justify his actions. I've known him for a long time now and he always saw challenges as threats. We are always at each other's throats but look where it took the business. To greater heights!"

"Yeah. Contradicting minds still get the job done. I'm glad you are constantly adjusting to him. Mind if I ask, do you hate him?"

Erwin took five seconds to answer. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. "Hate is a very immature word. He's quite difficult but I've learned the art of not giving a fuck. I only focus on the job. I think Levi only exists in my life as a reminder that I always need a push to improve. Amazingly, it works. At least I only have to deal with a single distraction who hated me with all his soul. You and Kenny treated me otherwise so I'm not a bit bothered by him. I still wish though that we could be friends in the future."

"Thanks Erwin. I'm glad you haven't given up on him."

He nodded and focused back on the road.

"Erwin…" Mikasa hesitated after a minute of silence. The ride halted at a red light. "I'll make a call at the office and tell the staff we're running late…"

"You need to be dropped elsewhere?"

"I need you to come with me and visit someone. At Mitras."

"Sure. Is it the owner of the body we're gonna hide tonight?"

Mikasa smiled. "Your sixth sense is always impressive, Erwin."

Chapter 9

Notes:

Last chapter was posted a little over three weeks ago...

But I hope it's not late or whatever... or if you're still interested, I'm finally updating my slowest-of-the-slowburns fic. :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"So in theory, Levi's autobiographical memory was… let's say it's a processor that lost its files and cannot be retrieved. But his brain is far different from a machine and there is no absolute study on how a brain works and heals after an injury. His false memories may be simply an attempt to make sense of the long gap during his unconscious state. It must have pulled memories from elsewhere to fill some gaps but his story… no matter how absurd was actually well-structured and consistent in its narrative. It's basically like a dream but it was not—because everything was vivid and stored in his head. But let's say it's really just a dream that transmuted into a memory. So a dream is a cognitive simulation that's influenced by reality and sometimes, we barely had control of our actions while we're at it but… Levi had newly-discovered skills that manifested from it? So this phenomenon also altered his physiology? God, this is more perplexing than all branches of science combined."

At the sight of Hange doing a monologue, Moblit was triggered. Her whole night consisted of several opened tabs in her browser that consistently crashed click after click. Her bespectacled eyes could have strained at the glare of her laptop as she carefully scanned and absorbed all information to satiate her rather curious mind. When she typed 'Levi Ackerman' in the search bar, the results overwhelmed her. Hange was efficient enough in taking in all data in one sitting. Levi's family background and their standing in the business hierarchy, the university he graduated from, the influential people he had relationships with both personal and professional, his interviews, some news articles, and some videos. It wasn't like Hange to pull an all-nighter for a research on a certain person and a rare condition. Only one man pushed her to leave her bedsheets and pillows untouched or more accurately, her bedroom abandoned for the night.

"Are you here all night? Looks like you have the same set of clothes you have since yesterday," Moblit observed. "I hope you'd care for a shower."

"Moblit! Ah, at least you didn't see bottles of alcohol around." Hange was too lively for a sleep-deprived person.

"Did you seriously have your nose on your laptop the entire night?"

"Some interesting discoveries are meant to be researched and dissected right away so yeah, I was on it. I'm still sane so don't worry!"

"Yeah, but you looked terrible."

The dark bags under Hange's eyes were too pronounced. Her hair was pulled up to a half bun but ended up messier than usual. "Regardless, I can still think clearly and answer an IQ test. Try me."

"I'd rather ask what the ramblings are all about. And my ears are clean enough to hear Levi in it. Are you falling in love, Hange?"

"What? Hell no!" Hange was quick to counteract with a hint of pink in her cheeks. She decided to divert the issue. "Listen Moblit… I haven't told you exactly what happened yesterday. I actually met Levi."

"Met? You meant like…"

"Face to face? It's not that he's doing fan-signing and I lined up…" Hange said matter-of-factly.

"Huh? But you said he's quite… unwell."

"Yes. He's unwell mentally but physically, he's in pretty good shape. The guy even beat me to a leg race!"

"Hold a sec," Moblit's eyes blinked rapidly at the information. "Are you sure it's Levi?"

"He is Levi! Levi Ackerman, the CEO!"

"You got any proof?"

"What? Are you asking me for proof that we actually met? You don't mean I should have a picture of him from yesterday…"

"Exactly. You just can't get me to believe you met him in flesh and had an interaction. Has alcohol dulled your senses now?"

"Sounds unbelievable but it's true! He ran into me, got me and my laptop kissing concrete so I chased him all the way to god-knows-where. At first, I thought it's a random teen bumping into me but lo and behold, he's in fact, Levi! We had a little chat. He already knew it was me who saved him from being run over. And the black tea last night? It's his. "

"Okay, that's too much to take in and I have no choice but to believe you. But what's the point of it all?"

"You are making me tired this early morning, know that?"

"Blame your sleeplessness, idiot."

"Ok. I'll get straight to the point… Levi knows me. It's not a simple hi-hello-I'm-Levi-and-I'm-Hange-and-let's-talk—it wasn't like that! Thing is, he recognized me. He called me by my name!"

Moblit paused. "No shit."

Hange straightened on her seat and started again. "I can't believe it at first. We were never introduced to each other before and naturally, it was me who only knew him as an Ackerman. When I saved him that night, that's the only time I've encountered him face-to-face and he's barely conscious. That's unbecoming! So tell me Moblit, how can such a thing be possible?"

"Hell knows. So I guess you asked him how he came up with your actual name?"

"He said he had a memory of another world where he was a soldier. And I was there, too. In fact, we're so close back there that's why he treated me like an old friend he's comfortable with. It was amusing but… imagine how a certain condition can affect his current situation. He's a CEO. Can he remember his duties and responsibilities? And then the people around him—he's got a different recollection of relationships with them."

"And that's why all the research that kept you awake the whole night?"

Hange nodded. "Thing is, his condition is so rare there's hardly a record of it. I went through different websites about neuroscience but there are only theories written out. I want to entail the probability that it's simply a vivid dream or if we are debunking its Science, it could be a case of reincarnation! But I don't see it as reincarnation because he fights huge creatures which are unlikely to happen in reality no matter what timeline we are in. And there's more, he's got some mad skills that he's never done before! He's…"

"Hange," Moblit furrowed his brows. "Why?"

"What why?"

"Your unhealthy obsession. You are too preoccupied with a man who's nobody in your life. What's keeping you too worked up on something that's not too relevant in your existence? I mean…okay, I knew you were always fascinated with research for your personal satisfaction but look at you now. One moment you were so down because of guilt and recurring nightmares. The next moment you were too engrossed and elated at some discovery that's not gonna change your life but someone else's."

All that energy, all that vivacious outbursts of Hange that morning died down instantaneously. Moblit was a mood indeed but she understood where he is coming from.

"Okay, I'm sorry that was a bit harsh. Of course, it's not my business but what am I here for? I'm just worried that you need to be reminded that whatever you get busy with won't do you any good. It's not even productive. But fine! You can do your research and everything that concerns Levi. I'm not taking that away from you because I am not raising an overgrown lovesick daughter here but you need to look after your health at least."

Moblit had a way with words but also knew exactly how to soothe their abrasiveness.

"Thanks Moblit. I love you to bits but you shouldn't get so worried sick about me all the time. And remind yourself again that I am not your overgrown daughter," Hange said. "This phase… think of it as a burnout that I need to distract myself."

"Fine with me," Moblit forged a smile. "Speaking of which would you distract yourself by making our breakfast?"

Hange stretched herself to a yawn. "Looking after my health, huh? Would bacon and eggs do?"

Moblit clicked his tongue. "Sounds like I'm going for a drive-thru. Geez, your freeloading is overdue this month, Hange!"

"I knew that!" Hange grinned. "I still promised you half of the rent. I'll call Onyankopon or Yelena some time and tell them I'm coming back to work."

"You'd better be."

"Love you Mobs!"

With the door to their apartment shut closed and Moblit gone, the air was suddenly breathable. Breathable that Hange had to re-assess herself once again. If Moblit had been a little too discerning around her these days and a little too blunt about it—hell, even for the past two months—it could only mean she was being sidetracked by situations that didn't matter much in her life. Was it bad that she was being too invested with a man who was never a part of her life? Was he just a distraction from the nightmares of her last job? But being with Levi gave her a little something—a feeling that realizes her worth. But wasn't it worthy enough that she saved more than a hundred lives in the past and she never gave a damn about it? Why does Levi become the highlight of it all? And now that she learned about his odd condition, she felt obliged to be a part of his healing journey.

She put a hand under her chin and stared again at the glaring monitor, long enough until her eyes watered at the strain. As she hesitantly began typing names and phrases out of curiosity, the search results gave her images of a ginger head woman whose pictures always come side by side with Levi.

"Petra Ral," Hange mumbled and bit her lower lip. She repositioned herself on the seat and began browsing for articles about her. Her hands hovered on the keyboard and the taps got heavier by the second.

It was like those days when researching and endless reading became a habit. An addiction to sate her always curious self and newfound knowledge to occupy her spacious mind.

Her "person of interest" was a statesman/businessman's daughter, who went to the same university as Levi's though being four years younger. Her family owned at least three business entities under Ackerman's holdings. Like Levi, she has graced the glossy covers of magazines. Impressively enough and to tug at Hange's declining self-esteem, Petra has posed for make-up and skincare ads, luxury bags, and clothing line. Each brand doesn't come off cheap and Hange's head ached at calculating the pay-offs of contract deals and a year's supply of make-up an average woman can never ever afford.

A slight ache bubbled inside her chest.

It was no longer a surprise that Petra and Levi had biographical information readily available in one click of a button. With that kind of standing—perched on the upper echelons of their society—no wonder people also fawned at their social status and wished they were in their shoes.

She's been with Levi for eight years.

Levi's proposal doesn't seem forced or in a hurry. It was the best time for them to settle down anyway.

She's pretty. She's perfect. They looked good together but it didn't end the same way.

Screw happy endings.

Her grumbling stomach didn't do much to tear her interest away from some articles that told about Levi and Petra's breakup. She was looking for red-hot assertions and columns during the peak of the couple's controversy and immediately regretted reading everything that was posted.

"Can't see why the hell she would dump him like that. Levi's achievements and standing alone were every woman's dream! If she only saw his anguish that night…how her brokenhearted boyfriend lumbered around that I almost killed myself because my fucking instinct told me to save him. But did I just save him for her?! So she can finally see his importance now that she chose to live with him again despite his lack of memory? Bite my ass, look where it took you, Petra. Your setbacks caused all this."

She tasted something salty and metallic and there was already blood on her fingers. How long has she been biting her nails off to bleed out like that?

"Fucking hell…that hurt…"

No shit. Why am I overreacting? Why would I hate Petra?

Maybe that was just part of her sleep-deprived self. Sleep deprivation does its wonders with illogical responses and reasoning. All sorts of emotions unacquainted with reality can manage to serpent their way to recreate another emotion—a rather confusing emotion. Or some stray feelings.

Whatever.

It's unwelcoming and should be ignored. Maybe she should really hit the sack soon.

Levi woke up to the smell of burnt food wafting through the air. Whatever Petra was up to this morning which is obviously a disaster, he instantly regretted not putting an alarm on because hell, the mattress beneath his body could swallow his soul once he drifted off to sleep. He recalled that night when they were both on good terms—speaking terms at least. Sure she was no stranger to him but when she had been a little too invasive and comfortable in his personal space, that should set some distance on his end.

He closed his eyes once more and pretended her actions were mere results of her guilt and was trying her best to win him back.

Shit. His stubborn head still hated that notion. A chaste peck on his cheek before slipping back to their separate rooms was still strange. No. Too strange. I am her captain. Not her lover.

It wouldn't hurt to stay in bed for a few more minutes but by the time he heard a clang of a likely hundred utensils downstairs—the kitchen maybe—his instinct as a soldier took the first move as he bolted out the door in a nanosecond and had his figure leaping over the railing like an escaping thief.

Once the balls of his feet gave the carpeted floor a satisfying thud, he immediately whipped around and was already greeted by three astounded faces in the living room.

It was like a silent stand-off. Three pairs of glaring eyes against one.

The bespectacled one cleared his throat and took a step forward to look up the railing from where Levi had come from.

"Not too high from there but would definitely dislocate my ankle," Zeke said after a thorough inspection, mouth hanging and eyeing Levi suspiciously. He pointed at the stairs. "Th-there's clearly a way down there."

Levi straightened up like it would make up for his height. "There's a fucking clatter that I heard from my room. Who knows if there's some kind of attack I'm not aware of," Levi snarled.

"You're at the highest point of the building. You have your own private quarters only accessible by a card. If there will be an attack, for sure the sounds will come from a chopper above," Zeke said vivaciously.

Levi eyed him irritably but said nothing.

"Good morning to you too, Levi. Feeling like a cat today?" Zeke brushed off the growing unease as he called out. "You okay in there Petra? I guess all that noise got your boyfriend gearing up for a battle. Guy's too prepared for a surprise attack you wouldn't want to end up blasted to bits!"

"Zeke!" Mikasa chastised him and raised a brow at Erwin. "You see it now, Erwin. The healing process might take a while."

Levi took notice of the tall blond man beside Mikasa. "Erwin…"

"H-hello, Levi. It's been a while. How are you doing?" It was Erwin and his calm and soothing demeanor. His intimidating stance was rather held back as he took a step towards the small man, hand outstretched.

Levi scoffed and swatted the hand away. "Keep the hand. You do know I'm not one for some shitty formalities, Erwin."

Erwin withdrew and held a breath. He eyed Mikasa sideways and braced for Levi's other unusual act. "If… if that makes you comfortable."

Petra has emerged from the kitchen holding a wet towel. "I'm sorry, I burned the toasts… I panicked and…"

"Are you okay?" Zeke came first and trudged his way to the counter.

"Levi, did I wake you?" Petra asked sheepishly. "I thought I can manage but…"

"It's just a damned toast… I don't see why you got them burned when clearly, there's a timer," Mikasa interrupted brusquely. All the three men looked at her.

Petra waved it off. "R-right. I guess I need more practice. I'm no kitchen expert but I'm trying."

"She got me a nice breakfast at the hospital and helped me cook last night's meal. There's nothing to fuss about. Are you even an expert yourself, Mikasa?" Levi consoled the coming tension. Petra didn't deserve humiliating treatment from his sister.

"I am Levi. Have you forgotten I once volunteered as a chef in one of our restaurants in Trost? You even said I should own a restaurant." Mikasa's voice was too stern like she needed to prove something. "Oh sorry. My bad, you must've forgotten all about it, too."

Levi could hardly place her anger. His sister was still frustrated by all this but as the days go, her words and actions had so much venom in them. "What brings you all here anyway? That Erwin had to drag along?"

Erwin stiffened. "I picked her on the way and she requested to be dropped here…"

"You were just here yesterday," Levi turned back to Mikasa.

"I'm your sister Levi if that makes sense. I know you're not in the best state so I have the right to check up on you from time to time or whenever I please. Probably do some scolding too because Petra's obviously not up for that. Aren't you happy that I was being concerned?"

"No. You're overbearing," Levi droned out that Mikasa already regretted her jeers.

She sighed. "Okay, apparently I wasn't supposed to be here if not for a little scandal that rocked the internet last night." Her phone was suddenly shoved right in front of his face.

Levi swallowed a lump in his throat.

"This. Care to tell what's in this video that probably earned the uploader a million worth of views to get them a car and a house?"

It earned the attention of everyone in the room. Zeke and Petra exchanged looks as they both knew what Mikasa is talking about. Levi looked at the phone closer and pondered the video. He narrowed his eyes and then, without finishing it, turned around and slumped on the couch.

"I'm surprised you're still alive and we're talking here." Mikasa took the opposite seat and looked at her brother disparagingly. "If being a stuntman and an internet sensation is what your heart desires, you can always tell me so we could properly set up your channel where you can showcase your talents."

Levi didn't answer right away. He paid Mikasa an equally disturbing look.

"Mikasa, your dark aura is already visible to the naked eye. You think it's too early for some tension?" Zeke made his way back to the living room with Petra behind him. Erwin was still blown away at the events unfolding in front of him.

"You know about this, Zeke?" Mikasa asked him.

"Petra called me last night about Levi missing but he turned up eventually so I guess it's not a big deal," Zeke explained nervously.

"Was it a bad idea to let me know whatever's happening around here, Petra?" Mikasa's dark eyes turned into daggers at the petite woman.

Petra stammered and looked at Levi. Mikasa had been too uptight with her since the incident. "I want to take responsibility and I want to solve it alone. I talked to everyone in the building, the in-house security, the grounds security… I tried…"

"But how did it come out with all that talk? Levi could've died out there…" Mikasa retaliated.

"Nothing happened, Mikasa. You don't have to be overanalyzing things and being too critical about them. Forget about what happened. Levi was in the state of exploring himself. Whatever he remembers, his natural actions manifest. It's a slow process, painful even because he had a different memory. Hey, give your brother a break." Zeke cooed her.

"But he does dangerous things!" Mikasa refuted.

Levi took time to stare at his sister's face. The red that washed over her ashen complexion and her overprotectiveness was slightly irking. The Mikasa in his memory was a disconsolate girl who had the tendency to slit his throat in his sleep. Should he tell her to spare the trouble for someone else?

"I'm sorry," Levi said. "It's just… I wanted to relax for a bit. It was part of a habit."

"Not that again…" Mikasa interjected dismissively. "A habit you used to be doing where? In your nonexistent world?"

"Can't I have a fucking freedom of what I have turned out today?!" Levi snarled, freezing almost everyone else in the room. "Why am I being forced to be the old person that I am not even feeling to be right now? Who the hell was the old Levi because I am completely clueless about who he was! What does he normally do? Sit on his ass his whole life and count money?"

It was Erwin who came to his side and squeezed his shoulder. Apparently, he was picking up the pieces already. Small details but easier to comprehend. "I am not the best guy to say this—I was neither his doctor but, I guess Levi's condition is best to be left alone until he discovered enough about himself, and then your guidance can come freely afterwards."

"Erwin?" Mikasa frowned at him questioningly.

"He's our CEO. He had a huge responsibility that we're temporarily taking over now, Mikasa. Seeing his condition, how he acts a little differently by the time he talked, I would be more than willing to take more of the responsibility than what I am being tasked with—don't get me wrong—I have no intention of taking his position for that matter. I just witnessed how complicated this is. I don't exactly know much Levi had missed about himself but I know it's a bit much that I have to see your frustrations and he doesn't hate me as much as he did before. Not by a long shot."

Levi looked at Erwin incredulously and his gaze was softened when the blond gave him a reassuring smile. You are my commander, you always knew what the best action is.

"He's right," Zeke cleared his throat and shot Mikasa a wry smile. "We talked about this. No pressure for Levi. But we have to impose some rules that he shouldn't involve himself in trouble. Like the incident yesterday."

Levi breathed.

"Levi, I hope you knew the use of stairs and elevators. Why choose a different path? What was it in your other world?" Zeke asked.

"I just thought I need to let out some steam. It felt different and my body reacts to what was natural for me. This has been an exhausting set-up and it confuses me until now…" Levi said slowly. "And some activities work out. I thought it's pretty basic but…"

"Those activities you're talking about are very dangerous. Never basic! Risky and fatal. You climbed down a vertical building yesterday and you vaulted off the railing just now. We haven't seen you do a mind-blowing stunt before and it would be unsafe if your current build isn't ready for strenuous activity. Your mind may dictate that it's what you're used to but what if your body wouldn't allow it?" Zeke explained. "You could tear a muscle and lose a grip…"

"I survived yesterday. And nothing hurts today. Not a single muscle." Levi assured him.

"This is extremely baffling…" Zeke muttered. "What pushed you to do that?"

Petra turned away. She knew it was partly her fault.

Levi looked at Petra but decided not to talk about it. "I told you… it's what I remembered doing most of the time. And all this pressure… it's been weighing on me."

"Can't you think of any other less dangerous things to do? A simple exercise and stretching out may help. Even a little running. It clears the head. It's a good release."

Levi nodded blankly. Zeke was uncharacteristically considerate.

"And…" Zeke eyed Petra carefully. "Have you two shared a bed last night?"

Petra shook her head abashedly. "Zeke… we have separate rooms. And I think it's still inappropriate to share a room. I'm… I'm practically a stranger to him…"

What was this monkey up to now? Levi saw Petra getting flustered by the second.

"Not that you haven't done it before…" Zeke was searching for Petra's reaction playfully. "Just a suggestion… it's for… release. From a clinical perspective."

Levi was lost and clueless. Mikasa shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. Erwin coughed twice.

Zeke noticed the awkward silence and decided not to delve there. "Let's start with this proposition: I will let you explore and soul-search for a week. You can stay at home and do whatever you feel like doing. Listen to music, read a book, browse the internet. You can even swim—bet you know the works. Being at home can still make you do productive things. If you ever feel like being cooped up is boring enough, you may opt to go outside. Tag Petra along or you can call me. I can be your company. I'd be much more than willing to hang out with you and talk about some things like the old days. Pretty simple."

"I'd rather spend time alone. Maybe for the time being," Levi said suggestively.

Mikasa was poised to react but Erwin held her back.

"Levi… we still don't know how your brain works. Your actions are unpredictable and out of character. We've seen quite a lot less than five days and I wish to have someone beside you to observe and evaluate your activities. Perhaps even restrain you," Zeke said.

"You can always talk to me and evaluate from there…"

"But going outside was risky enough. You're no commoner and you're not familiar around."

"I managed yesterday," Levi argued.

"We can't have another viral video of you going around."

"I'm taking the elevator now."

Zeke sighed. "There are more things outside that you—your body may find even interesting. Can't let people see you as that hyperactive teenager doing parkour in the most inappropriate places."

"Not doing that again."

Zeke exhaled. Another migraine threatened to consume him this early morning. It's hard to be your best friend's doctor.

"Zeke, would it be a dangerous idea for him to go around without being recognized? He's not just some random person and people may take advantage of his condition," Mikasa reasoned out.

"Not with the woman I met yesterday…" Levi countered.

Before Mikasa can respond with a crinkled forehead, her phone buzzed. She muttered a curse upon reading the message then turned to Erwin with a sense of urgency. "We should get going."

Erwin gave her a pensive look.

"There's an emergency board meeting with Ms. Kiyomi, Pixis, and Zackly. We are needed there."

"Oh," Erwin breathed.

Mikasa turned back to Levi. "We're not done yet, Levi."

"Up for more rounds? You're throwing way too many jabs at me."

"If only knocking you out can make you come back to your senses, I'd be more than glad to…"

"That a threat?"

Mikasa has grown tired of sending empty threats. "Hey, I was just concerned about you."

"But you don't have to bare your fangs," Levi deadpanned.

"I'll try to be nice next time. That depends if you don't do something crazy again." Mikasa turned around and headed for the elevator. "And oh, maybe I'd take the time to compliment your hair today. I hope your barber doesn't have to cut your hair at an odd angle while you're doing a headstand."

"I did this," Levi plainly said.

Mikasa scoffed and shook her head derisively. "Not gonna stick around for another bullshit…"

"He really did. I was there… he can cut his own hair... he can even cook…" Petra hesitated.

"Well-played, huh?" Mikasa said. "Some hidden talent showing off left and right?"

"Mikasa, I think we should get going now." Erwin put one hand over her shoulder and led her outside. He smiled at Levi one last time. "It's great to see you're doing well, Levi."

Levi nodded at Erwin and watched his sister closely as she never let her eyes wander off until he was out of sight.

The blond had taken note of the young woman playing it a little harshly and Levi taking the bait. As perceptive as he was, he had to come in between and take action when the air gets stiff.

"You okay?" Erwin had been a little careful, even subdued with his words all through the time they were in the penthouse.

The elevator ride was suffocating. Mikasa was breathing like she hadn't breathed for a while or maybe the cramped space of a private elevator gave a little air.

Then, there were silent sniffles. Almost restrained. Pained chuckles followed.

"Hey." Erwin wrapped an arm around her and squeezed her shoulder comfortingly.

"You know, I've never been like this to Levi," Mikasa confessed. "Am I being harsh?"

"I saw a different side of you today but I guess throwing a shade is unnecessary." Erwin gave her a weak smile. "But I couldn't blame you. Maybe it's your way of expressing your frustrations. It would be hard on your part but I hope you know it's way harder for Levi."

The elevator took them to the ground floor and both stepped out. A tedious familiarity enveloped Mikasa as she looked at the empty hallway. It was still early in the morning, she supposed.

"Yesterday, it was Zeke who told me to take it easy."

"He's not wrong." Erwin agreed.

"But I can't help it. Sometimes, I thought it feels great to tick him off like I was the older one." Mikasa was flashing a forced grin. "It's crazy but that liberty of scolding him and being controlling was something. Because at one point, I wanted him to listen to me and finally see my existence as a family he can count on. He wasn't too uptight, you noticed?"

Erwin nodded thoughtfully. His memory of the siblings' relationship was nothing sort of interesting until today that he saw some interaction—an odd one but he was too sure that despite the backbiting and cacophony between the raven-haired duo, there was hidden affection, especially from Mikasa's side.

"Yeah. It's refreshing to see some side of Levi. It's strange. He can be a little stubborn. Childish even." Erwin managed a laugh. "He'll come around in time. I haven't heard a case like that but let's hope it's temporary."

Mikasa nodded absently.

"Looks like your murder plan didn't go well."

"Why, you wanna do it?" She laughed softly.

Erwin stretched his arms and grinned. "I think I'll pass with the murder. It seems to me he can be more endearing today than he did last time—with his old self. He's not scary and hateful enough that I'd want his corpse underwater."

"His odd activities are. Have you ever seen the video?"

"Watched it a hundred times last night. Never recognized him though until you revealed it. I thought it was cool."

"God, Erwin." Mikasa put a hand on her head.

"Marie and I were talking about it. We were both impressed but I understand your concern. If it were another person not close to you, you would certainly let it slip but it's your brother—doing something too risky for the first time. But you don't have to lash out at him. It's not his fault that he's not himself…"

"It's still not sinking in…"

"How much was lost anyway if you don't mind me asking. He's not hostile to me. Sarcastic but tolerable. But he acknowledges my presence."

"He can recognize people. You see he recognized you but for sure he had a different recollection of you. He had an alternate universe running in his head."

Erwin's prominent brows rose. "Is that possible?"

"It tested Zeke's knowledge of neuroscience," Mikasa told him matter-of-factly. "He attacked Zeke the very first time they meet after waking up in the hospital. He doesn't even remember Petra as his girlfriend. Then he thought he remembered me as a battle comrade—a soldier under him. Can you even believe it?"

"Soldier. So that explained his combative abilities a while ago…"

"Indeed."

"I wonder what am I in his memory… he said I am aware that he's not one for pleasantries when I tried to shake hands. Quite a shock because he's the type to want me to kiss his feet all the time."

Mikasa was headed towards the exit of the building. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

Erwin stopped in his tracks. He had been thinking, "I want to visit him from time to time, if that's okay."

Mikasa looked over her shoulder. "Are you kidding?"

He shrugged. "I guess it's the best time we settle down our differences. I have a feeling we're going to be good friends."

"You're out of your mind," Mikasa said. "But I'm not gonna stop you."

Notes:

I couldn't sustain a weekly update because a lot has been going on lately that I found comfort in writing one-shot, maybe sometimes a little uninspired, and having that dreaded 'writer's block'.

I'll still try to update... and hope you're still reading. :)

Kudos and comments are appreciated.

Chapter 10

Notes:

It took a month, sorry... maybe this chapter gets boring because there are barely Levihan moments. I wanted to introduce some characters and be of influence to the major players in this fic. Still trying to make sense of it all. And maybe I can only promise at the next Levihan meeting, everything will be filled with fluff and some other stuff. :)

Also, here's an introduction to Onyankopon and Yelena.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Levi holds a cup of coffee around the rim with careful fingers. He was standing by the pool in the outdoor area of his penthouse, exposed to the sun. Zeke came suddenly beside him, inhaling the air audibly to announce his presence and Levi bated the urge of punching beardy's chest so he could cough out his lungs.

"Why are you still around? Don't you have duty calls?" Levi asked, eyes rolling.

"Don't you want me here? We used to be conjoined at the hip. What keeps you pushing me away?"

"Fuck off, Zeke."

Zeke couldn't hide his amusement. He laughed out loud and decided to play along. After all, studying Levi's current behavior was a challenge he meant to indulge in. "You hate me that much, don't you?"

Levi turned away and realized he had been acting inaptly again. Would he be constantly reminded that he was living in a world where Zeke was not the monster he had been itching to butcher at every meeting? But he decided to keep silent.

"That's… that's an odd way of handling that cup don't you think?" Zeke noticed Levi's handling of the cup. "Is that something unique about your other self?"

Levi was not aware. How could he even know? He took a cup and held it the way he knew was natural to him. Holding it by the rim. "What's wrong with it as long as I'm not spilling it all over you?"

Zeke's right hand flew into the air in a manner he was holding an imaginary cup and drinking from it. His lips curled. "Nope. Won't work with me…"

"You'll suck at that…"

When Zeke realized the coffee aroma, he puts a thumb on his chin. "It's coffee. Where's the tea you said you bought yesterday?"

"Got it mixed up with someone."

"Oh? How?"

"It's…" Levi faltered at first. "I met someone yesterday. A woman."

Zeke widened his eyes. "You tell me. It's what you're about to say last night, isn't it?"

Levi nodded. "Yes. It's a strange interaction. We shouldn't have known each other personally but turns out I knew her…"

"Wait, wait, wait…" Zeke took the cue to take out his phone and type something on it.

"The hell are you doing?" Levi glowered.

"I'm taking notes of your current behavior and your encounters. I'll let you talk. It's called 'free association'. This will help us in figuring out how are we able to get your memories back—but first is to figure out the conflict in you."

Levi paused and looked at the sky. His mind drifted away.

Zeke gave him a quizzical look. "What's her name? Maybe I knew her since we have mutual friends."

"Do you know a woman named Hange?" Levi asked, coming back to his senses. "Maybe you happen to know all of my connections and people I communicate with."

"Hange… Hange…" Zeke began thumbing his chin again. Levi could wish to hear a prompt yes but a shake from Zeke's head betrayed it. "No. Unless you have a secret relationship in the past I didn't know of?"

"Am I even capable of that?" Levi found it unsettling.

"Honestly no. I even knew you more than your sister. And it hurts to know you only have eyes for Petra. Oh, that very lucky girl..."

Levi only glared.

"Have you told Petra about it?"

"Is it a good idea?"

Zeke smiled, implying he hasn't yet. "I'm glad you knew the implications if you tell your woman about another woman. Her mind will hit the gutter."

Levi frowned. "I'm still uncomfortable being with Petra if that's what you need to know."

Zeke raised his arms. "Okay! Okay, we're clear on that. But I hope you don't act around Petra like you want to ditch her. So, what about this Hange?"

It took Levi a few seconds to answer. "It was a chance encounter. I bumped her on the way while I was running and she chased after me because she believed I broke her laptop. Eventually, we ended up at the park. Seeing her for the first time, I knew already she was someone I'm fond of. I don't know why. Her name just slipped off. I called her by her name because I have a recollection of her as a fellow soldier. She basically knew me because I was an Ackerman but she can't recall if we were even introduced to each other before. We tried to figure out until we concluded it's just part of my false memories."

"H-how is that…" Zeke scratched his ear. He continued, "She must be lying. There's no way you two haven't encountered each other before. How can your memory recall her and her name?"

"It just worked that way. I recognized her face, I called her by her name and we argued for a while because she keeps insisting she can't be someone I knew."

"That's strange. Every woman would have loved to be recognized by the one and only Levi Ackerman…"

"Shut it…"

Zeke shook his head with an anxious laugh. "I don't know… but she must be really lying. There's no way you two wouldn't have met in the past. Recognition was only possible through some history—that you two have been acquainted at some point in the past. Listen, your condition wasn't publicly disclosed yet. We talked to the hospital to keep your information private until your Uncle Kenny decides what we should do with your current status. I gave Mikasa the authority to announce this to the board but I guess she's not doing her move yet…"

"And your point?"

"People would be taking advantage of a rich guy who lost his memories."

"You think Hange was a past acquaintance, lying to my face, knew my condition, and was apparently a wolf hiding behind the bushes?" There was anger in his tone for some reason. Not that he believed Zeke's theories but he knew Hange was someone he could trust. "She has proven enough that she's telling the truth."

Zeke was surprised at the unwavering tonality. "How so?"

"I accused her of the possibility of taking advantage of me firsthand. My brain's working fine about analyzing things—putting two and two together because soldiers are trained not just in battles but also to see through lies and ploys. She hasn't asked anything from me. She walked me home on blistered feet, bought me tea on the way but only got our items mixed up, she even insisted that I go home or Petra will worry."

"Okay…" Zeke was still unconvinced.

Levi was irritated. "She's the idiot who saved me that night, might I add."

That probably did it. "What?" Zeke blinked his eyes, trying to recall the person who jumped in to get Levi out of the car's path. "Tall, androgynous… brunette?"

Levi nodded.

"Hell no…"

"She's the person behind the pansies. She's checking up on me from time to time…"

"Her weird ways creep me out. A sane person wouldn't think about going their way to save someone's ass. Some stranger's ass. Usually, they just freeze and watch. It's not universal law to play a hero."

"My ass is still worth saving and you better admit it. And would you even know if I really planned on killing myself that time? Like maybe in the back of my head, it's the best way to go. So basically, she's everyone's hero."

"So our hero is actually a woman. Great…"

"It's just being her," Levi said. "A rescue officer and that's purely her duty. In my memory, she's another fellow soldier but we bonded differently. She's loud and eccentric, intelligent and caring. Crazy but bearable. It felt like I've known her more than I know you, Petra, and even Mikasa…"

He didn't realize he was being vividly expressive. Or was he saying things almost involuntarily that Hange and her humanitarian ways had to fit into the picture?

Zeke was entranced by the narrative but was a bit hurt. "You hold a better memory of a total stranger, huh?"

Stranger. Technically, Hange was.

"But that's how it is. It felt familiar. It felt like I'm fond of her and she's like the same person in that world. Her character and all."

"And look at me being the villain…" Zeke scoffed.

"Can't do anything about that," Levi said, perturbed.

"I still don't trust her, I'm sorry. I can only ask you to be careful around her. Or around people who you might know but had other hidden intentions. We are living in uncertainties, Levi. Be vigilant, is all."

"You don't have to worry, I guess there's no chance to meet her again," Levi said slowly, contemplating how sad he said those words. Didn't he just refuse to give her his number? Didn't he get the chance to stay connected at least?

"You sounded sad."

"I'm not." He is.

"Better not tell Petra about this encounter. It will make her paranoid."

"I don't plan to. And as if Hange and I have a past…"

"But you have. A fabricated friendship from a fabricated memory. I wanted to know how close you two are. At what degree?"

Levi sighed. "We're simply comrades. We watch each other's backs all the time."

"Nothing more than what you told me that you two 'bonded differently'?"

"Can't tell… the last memory I have of her… I was heavily injured and she saved me."

"A parallel to what happened in reality," Zeke said, taking some notes again. "It gets interesting as days go, Levi. Please keep me posted about some progress. But I'm afraid everything you told me today wouldn't help. It's like you're being constantly pulled back to that world because you won't stop talking about it. I need to remind you it's a different world right here. Please do feel that you are living with some people who wish for you to come back as you are. You saw how Mikasa reacted to every action you do and Petra… I just talked to her and she's trying to be okay. Well, she's not. Don't let people around you suffer, okay?"

Levi nodded guiltily.

"By the looks of it, it seemed you're way too comfortable with her than Petra. You recoil when it's Petra but this Hange person, she's suddenly the center of this conversation."

"So what does it mean to you?"

"She's existent but your relationship with her is a farce. I'm afraid if you get to meet up with her again—hang out with her—there will be no chance for us to retrieve your memories because you're stuck in your little world and she's a major player in there. Chances are, you'd get to be selective of people you'd want around in your circle and you'll welcome a new life without your past. Well, these are merely theories of mine but as of now, I just want you to be surrounded by trusted people—those you know on a personal level. Those you've bonded in the past."

"That's what she told me too, apparently."

Zeke shook his head. "Maybe she's trying to gain your trust."

"I don't feel it that way," Levi said with heaviness in his tone. Or more likely than not, I trust her already.

"Goddammit Levi. Why was it hard for you to listen to your doctor?"

It was too early to pick a fight with Zeke. Levi just let it pass.

"I'm still trying my best," Zeke put a hand over his shoulder. "To get to the bottom of this mystery. But I always need your cooperation. I need to put you back together piece by piece. And make you an acceptable person in the eyes of many, at least. You can't disappoint everyone. You can't disappoint your Uncle Kenny."

His relationship with Kenny will be another problem to surface. "Why? Would I be killed if I didn't?"

"You have a morbid imagination."

Levi gave Zeke a smug smile. But his eyes were dark and empty. "In my memory, Kenny was always resolute at taking me out. At every. Damn. Opportunity."

He is coming. He is coming today, right?

Hange couldn't be too sure if chanting her hopes over and over again will summon his presence that sundown. Same place, same time just like yesterday. Few people, verdant grounds, and the same silhouettes of buildings from a distance. Only one person is missing.

She could have insisted to make him get her number and call if he arrived safely back home but such increasing concern for a person you met for the first time was somewhat uncalled for.

Get it together, Hange. You just wanted to be friends with the popular Levi Ackerman. Right?

There's so much to tell him. She imagined herself dragging him to Moblit's pizzeria and making it proof that meeting him was not part of a drugged imagination. She would talk to him about her little research and theories that may help him go out and about with his current state. If he'd be interested to know about himself, she would be telling him about written articles—only those that would help him recall his good deeds as part philanthropist and businessman. And Petra, how his relationship with her was actually unbreakable.

No. I'd talk about Petra if he asked. But Petra could be telling all about herself, right? News articles can be unreliable sometimes. She shook her head.

Why on earth she was there, she didn't know. She couldn't even make out her strange actions as if taking the top of her priorities. After three hours of killing time and bird-watching, she thought it would be best had she brought along a picnic blanket and a basket of goods. Such wishful thinking was slowly testing her patience as she rebuked herself that it's not the universe's fault that her infatuation—or whatever work-of-the-devil this is—got her a little too worked up.

A feverish smile crept up her lips and her fingers clawed at her messy hair, tangling them even further to exasperate her already exasperated self. A maddened cry erupted and some people hastily distanced themselves away from a seemingly breaking down episode of Hange herself.

"Why am I even expecting that we're meeting up today?!"

Maybe he'll show up. He should be. Being in quiet places was needed in his therapies, right?

Another hour. He must be on his way.

Another half. Maybe he stopped somewhere.

Two hours. Shit. He's not coming.

"Okay then." Hange sprang up from the ground and stretched her arm and leg muscles. There's no room for unnecessary anger, especially for non-commitments. Whatever she and Levi shared in a small amount of time, it was just a way to lessen her burdens, distract her one way or another by focusing on something. Moblit would definitely be laughing at her.

Her surroundings glowed bright orange, as she re-imagined the scene yesterday when she was walking side by side with him on a sunset.Her rage mellowed down a bit at the memory as she slowly hauled herself up the slope to the pavements. Her movements were a little sluggish. She didn't imagine that waiting for hours can wear her off.

"Hey!"

Her heart stopped as she heard a male voice. Her head turned in a rush.

But it was not the person she is looking for. Her heart sank once more.

"That yours? You know you shouldn't leave your trash around here," the grounds sweeper told her sternly, pointing his index finger towards a plastic bag that's sitting on the grass.

"It's not trash." Hange hurried back to the spot where her ass sat for hours, totally forgetting that one item that would lead her back to him.

Silly. Levi can buy more than ten boxes of tea any time.

"Stupid!" Hange said aloud to herself that had the old guy cursing at her.

"It was me, okay?!" Hange called after him as the man shook his head, raising his arms in disappointment as if she bruised his ego. "Sorry if you thought it was you!"

It was more like sarcasm. Or she deliberately wanted to piss him off. Hell, she wanted to piss everyone off.

"Fuck," Hange muttered and took a deep breath. "This is crazy. Yeah, I'm crazy…"

Her hair was already a mess. There's no way she could get it any messier.

"Onyankopon? Yelena?"

It was quite a surprise that Hange found her two co-workers sitting in their living room one late morning. Five days have passed and she hasn't made her calls to announce her comeback to duty. The presence of these two could only mean that it was Moblit who made the calls for her and decided her future. Seriously, Moblit was a handful these days.

He appeared from the kitchen anyway carrying two cups of coffee.

"Someone's finally got the time to wake up," Moblit announced, too loud or too salty.

"Hange!" Yelena stood up from her seat and hugged Hange.

"Did you just grow another inch?" Hange asked as she found herself buried at the crook of Yelena's neck. "Great to see you both."

"She grows a millimeter every day," Onyankopon chuckled. "Our boys back there aren't happy about it."

"Height's an advantage," Hange smiled and nudged her rib.

"That's what I thought so too until the other day that we had to inspect an abandoned mine shaft where six youngsters were trapped. I was tasked on duty but ended up being rescued too," Yelena said and sighed. "God, claustrophobia developed on me."

"Oh… is everybody okay?" Hange asked wearily. Until now, rescue missions gave her the chills.

"We almost lost a couple of them who were trapped underneath a rubble of earth as one section collapsed. It's terrifying but everything's fine now. But the best thing is that, it was hidden for media coverage," Onyankopon said.

"Yeah. Since Magath took the position, he doesn't like media attention. In which, I guess why you two were here. Had to take a break after a feat." Hange sat on the couch.

"We were on tight schedules these days and we're a little shorthanded so we're asking for volunteers. But yeah, I needed a break. Just two days." Yelena was handed a cup of coffee and drank it.

Moblit cleared his throat. "So Hange, I think it's the best time to join your team again and not have them owning the hero missions for themselves, don't you think? Have you told me once you're about to make some calls because you're excited to be back on the job?"

"I guess you made the call already." Hange gave him a wary look. "And look who's excited to actually force me to be back working. I'm not auditioning for ballet, Moblit so stop acting like an excited mother."

"I will if you're not freeloading," Moblit said.

Onyankopon and Yelena traded looks.

"Kidding." Moblit was laughing and gave Hange a hard pat on the back. "Well, Hange these days seemed undecided yet whether she will be back on the job or extend her stay under my wing. You two might be of help to put me out of my misery because I can't stand her sad ass around."

Misery. Has she been too much of a burden to her best friend now?

"We haven't heard a word since you filed for indefinite leave. We're starting to worry now. Usually, it's only a week but it's over two months. And to know you were just slacking off in Moblit's…" Onyankopon was not too sure about his words.

"Slacking off? Really?" Hange was already hurt. "Is Moblit here saying the nicest stuff about me?"

"I'm afraid I only tell the truth from what I've been observing these days and I need a hand—no, two hands to help me put you back to your senses," Moblit said.

"Hange, is everything okay?" Yelena asked. "You have deactivated your social media account. You don't even reply to our messages…"

"Y-yeah, and we haven't had fun in a while," Onyankopon said. "Our weekly nightlife?"

"I was just… a little preoccupied that I needed a break," Hange said. "I need disconnection."

"You're being overdramatic again, Hange. You've been disconnected for too long and you can't sulk in the house forever," Moblit said. He's being pushy. "You didn't leave the apartment in five days."

"Take a day outside, hang out with us," Yelena chimed.

"Yeah, it's better than being cooped up in here," Onyankopon said excitedly.

"It's settled then! Drag her ass off of here, please." Moblit clapped his hands together and smiled at Hange sarcastically. "Try to be productive today, okay? Whether enjoying yourself with your co-workers or maybe doing some community clean-up!"

"I fucking hate you, Moblit." Hange told him sharply.

"Don't hate me, I'm doing your mental health a favor," Moblit said and headed back to the kitchen. He called out, "You can take Hange to a theme park! Or to the beach! Or a trip to Marley! Anywhere just don't let her mood spread around. It's fucking contagious."

"Just go where you needed to go, Moblit! Be gone! Okay?!" Hange exhaled loudly and cupped her forehead.

"You two!" Moblit called out, gathered his belongings, and headed for the front door. "Drop by my diner some time, all right? One meal's on the house."

"Great! We will," Onyankopon said gratefully and waved him goodbye. Yelena nodded and smiled.

"Tell me," Yelena whispered to Hange. "Why aren't you two married yet?"

"It would be toxic for the universe to unite us. He's my mother in my past life," Hange said. "He's annoying, God!"

"I can imagine chaos every day," Onyakopon said in bewilderment.

"Yeah. Every. Fucking. Day," Hange said peevishly, stressing out every word. "But what brought you two here, really? Was it Moblit?"

"No, no," Onyankopon said immediately. "It's just now that he talked about you and said some things that implied you're down for weeks. Well, we only remembered you last night."

"Yeah, remembered me after two months, huh? I'm touched." Hange huffed.

"We've been thinking over drinks last night. Our job is taking its toll on us…" Yelena said, finishing her cup. "Sometimes we need a breather. Sometimes, I wanted to be a child again, free of adulthood complexities. Sometimes, I wanted a new job—another job where I don't have to risk my life. Sometimes… oh fuck I wish I was an Ackerman."

Hange stiffened. Had she heard it right or wrong? Was it just a remnant of her wistful thoughts or Yelena is just fucking with her?

"Ackerman? You sure?" Hange was too quick to challenge her. An Ackerman has the most complicated life despite the unlimited digits in their bank accounts.

"Of course not," Yelena said. "I mean, I just wish I had that kind of money and business ventures so I wouldn't have to jump on boats, board on ambulances with corpses, run into the fire for a cat and come out with burns and scratches, hell—get trapped in earth's core because of hormonal teens who found thrill in life and death situations. For the love of my endless bills to pay, why do I have to do all that?!"

Welcome to the club.

Yelena was usually calm. Today, she was unusually disturbed albeit delivering her words half-jokingly.

There was a familiarity in those strange actions. Yelena only mirrored Hange's behavior two months ago. How being in risky situations can pester one's thoughts. It wasn't as serious as PTSD and Hange can tell Yelena was handling herself too well.

"Something traumatic happened in the mineshaft?"

Yelena's eyes shot up. Hange can read through her.

Onyankopon looked at Yelena worriedly. "She's… being humiliated. I don't see why those fuckers need to be rescued in the first place…"

"Yelena?" Hange pressed.

"It's nothing! I've—I've been to worse." Yelena mustered a smile. "I mean, you, Hange get it too all the time."

"What do you mean?" Hange hung her head.

"We're biologically women. But we're seen as unconventional by our society. I mean…"

"Get to the point."

"One of the teens tried…" Yelena was shaking but brushed it off immediately. "I shouldn't think of it because he's just a kid but…it felt off. So little space at that time, too cramped, we couldn't even breathe. But one has managed to insult me and get under my skin. It's… it's disgusting. I have to endure two hours of hell."

There's no need for Hange to get Yelena into details. It was harassment. Or more than that. Yelena's unique personality had always drawn attention and ridicule.

"You got him a broken rib?" Hange gave her a sly grin. She would've guessed Yelena had her ways.

"I wouldn't allow some lowlife to touch me but no, a broken rib is too much. I just branded him panda eyes and missing front teeth. He needs the best dentures. The rest of the gang went straight to rehab. It appears their parents are more than willing to pay as much to get rid of them. Bastards."

Hange snickered. "You're better now I guess."

"I feel better when I hurt someone because they deserve it."

I wish I was like you. Hange had to stare at her friend and saw a tough exterior. Yelena's experiences were always physically and mentally traumatizing but she never took month-long breaks as Hange did.

"Your turn now, Hange. Why are you cooped up in here for two months? What's the disconnection for?" Yelena mocked her. Nothing escapes her prying observations. "You were hurt during your last encounter. Is there something else we need to know? Are you sick?"

"No. The head injury's healed. I'm totally fine," Hange assured her.

"Are you planning to switch jobs?" Onyankopon asked.

I've been thinking of it. "No. At least not today…"

"Hange, we're not just co-workers. We're a little shit but we're your friends," Yelena said.

Guilt washed over Hange as she could spot sadness and curiosity in both faces. Of course, they didn't know about the nightmares, the deaths. But those were all gone now. At least the nightmares have lessened after…

After that brief encounter with Levi.

But was there really a problem to discuss? Was Levi's absence in her life a burrowing problem she had to deal with?

"No. I'm just contemplating about life lately. It gets boring, it gets unproductive. Feels like I'm stalled…"

"You've been stalled for two months. That's enough time to reflect. Are you no longer happy about saving people?" Onyankopon asked.

"I don't know."

"It's not about saving people," Yelena said. "You just lack the inspiration. Maybe you need someone whose purpose is to get you a reason to wake up every single fucking day. Shitty people say we should live for ourselves... but sometimes it becomes a vicious, boring cycle. Sometimes we look for new things but our interests change. We're thrown into circumstances we can't control and it's a daily struggle each day to live. We think we lack the purpose, the drive, depression comes in the middle of the night and we wet our pillows for no reason. And then we'd hate birthdays. It's another year to age, another year that's unchanging... in the end, it's simply because we feel alone... "

Well fuck.

"And then, the problem is with ourselves, really. Our own reflections are the greatest adversary. We're overthinking a lot. We feel a lot. We think a lot about the future that hasn't come yet. We prepare for the unpredictable future. They say we shape our futures but it's our fate that's shaping it. So that concludes our truth. We find purpose in a life that's a joke."

"Yelena, we're supposed to be sharing positivity here. You're quite the cynic today." Onyankopon flinched in his seat. "The hell are you rambling about? A-are you okay?"

"Sorry… man. It was… that damn book Floch lent me…it kinda caught up when Hange talked about unproductive life," Yelena said, twiddling her thumbs and looking like she was suddenly pulled into consciousness.

"You know what? Burn it. For a while, I thought that book insinuates suicide." Onyankopon was shaking his head.

It was Hange who was grinning in her seat like an idiot. "I—I kinda need that. Maybe I should just quit overthinking. Find some purpose, inspiration…"

Moving on from feeling for something that wasn't there.

"The hell with you two!" Onyankopon stood up. "I'm not spending a day with brooding ladies who switch personalities every minute. We're supposed to be having fun."

"Yeah," Hange said, a little happier now. "Okay then, we need to go outside today. Onyankopon, any ideas?"

Notes:

I hope you're still reading. :)

Kudos and comments are ALWAYS appreciated.

Chapter 11

Notes:

Posting an update at the first day of 2022!

I hope we'd get more fanfics for Levihan tag this year before the anime's second half premiere. Awww... since I know where it is heading, I'd most probably hang around here more often to cure that looming depression. XD

We all need an AU for that.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Rod Reiss, Karl Fritz, Willy Tybur, and Kiyomi Azumabito are just some of the familiar names he could recall and listed under the Board of Directors. There were also names like Dot Pixis, Nile Dok, and Darius Zackly as heads of some departments Levi couldn't take a grasp of. He was staring at an organizational structure of Ackerman Holdings using Erwin's laptop, trying to comprehend the outlines, the names, designation, and all else, sorely racking his brain how his name landed the upper ranks and how much did he do to earn a title beating an assemblage of well-experienced intellects—or at least he knew by heart or by some memory that those names were high profiled enough in his other world. Those same names were highly regarded and respected. They moved the military, the nations, the world. Some have incited chaos, some have prevented it. It was almost derisory that they were all gathered in his very company that he held no memory of.

This is really getting crazy.

The chart doesn't make sense at first, as the only chart his memory allowed is Commander Erwin Smith's scouting formation whenever soldiers venture outside the walls. No matter how hard he tried, the gears in his head weren't turning. It was excruciatingly dysfunctional.

His name takes the center of the chart, just below the board committees of Remuneration and Nomination, Risk Management, Strategic Financial Planning, and Audit. Hell knows what those mean. He cursed under his breath when the structure underneath his name branched out into a head-spinning number of squares, circles, and lines—the determinant of roles and responsibilities and the flow of communication between levels of each department. Levi gave up after a minute and turned away from the laptop.

"Is everything okay?" Erwin sat beside him by the poolside of the penthouse, a cup of coffee in hand. "You asked if I could show you the structure of your company, so here it is. It's in its simplest form. I managed to make it easier on the eyes and pretty understandable. Do you want a more comprehensive overview of it?"

"Not now," Levi said and exhaled. He'd rather be out in the field slaying giants.

Fuck. Levi regretted that request already. For the past five days, Erwin was a constant visitor every other day in his house. His daily routine consisted of mid-morning talks with the blond and the rest, he was given the leeway of exploring things on his own. He had been comfortable with Erwin for some strange reason more than Zeke. Erwin was more than glad that their rivalry took its friendly course at Levi's memory loss.

Two more days before succumbing to Zeke's rules of therapy and mental conditioning.

The idea of absorbing the very basic information in his raw and empty mind space was still exhausting up to this point. There's no way of tweaking a part of his brain just to remember. Even just a little.

"It's a headache. I have no fucking clue what that is," Levi spat. "I understand that the company was named after us Ackermans but being a CEO with underlings is something unimaginable."

Erwin bit back a smile. He was always amused by Levi's current take on reality.

"Where is your name there? You haven't written Mikasa either," Levi said.

Erwin moved closer to him and faced his laptop. "I was just underneath you. I'm the second-in-command, Chief Operating Officer. You have eight departments under you. Currently, we have vacant and acting heads since some of them have resigned after… after your incident. Our structure these days isn't established but so far, we are still pulling ahead. As per policy, the delegation of authority in your absence rests upon me. Mikasa and I have very supportive teams to say the least. I oversee the Corporate Services, Business Development, also Subsidiaries, and Affiliations. Sometimes, in Project and Property Management. It's multi-tasking but not that I can't handle. Mikasa's currently in Marketing and Sales and Support Services. She is also helping in Finance."

Levi was not stupid to notice that Mikasa and Erwin have taken all tasks in every department. "You're kidding me. And then you're also acting as CEO? Are you also acting like a goddamn superhuman?"

Erwin laughed heartily. "In the papers and because we have policies, yes. I may be the acting CEO due to operational planning but in reality, no. It's Mikasa and me," Erwin corrected. "An Ackerman needs their participation in the most crucial position in the company and she's impressive in her ways. You should be proud."

"Whatever. You idiots are biting more than you can chew."

Levi's choice of words would need more of Erwin's understanding. "I'm not complaining. As I said before, we have enough staff for support. They're all excellent in their performances. And it's not that I'm buried in paperwork. I just oversee the workflow, the progress in some projects and new ventures, client feedback which is satisfactory enough. Our communication lines are always open. Any problem needs to be discussed and properly addressed."

"Why weren't you in my position then? It seemed to me you have an all-encompassing knowledge that made you versatile and many steps ahead of me. Zeke once told me that we've both competed for that position so that makes you competent too. What made you lose the board's votes and why haven't they decided to take a more able person to take my place?" Levi asked, no longer interested in the particulars of the job roles.

Their relationship in the corporate workplace was never amicable. Had Erwin held a grudge towards Levi, he would be very willing to feed him with all sorts of bullshit until Levi decides to step down and give his seat away.

Erwin was always honest. And he valued intelligence and skills. "But you deserved that seat, Levi. It doesn't mean that even I took most of the roles today, I was a step ahead of you. You're an excellent leader. You moved the company and that got the board rooting for you. You're highly competitive, a visionary and always ahead of your time. Ackerman Holdings takes the mixed type of holding company. Aside from owning the majority of stocks and voting shares of our entities, we also participate in their operations. The first year of you taking over was highly regarded, I'd say."

"No shit," Levi said with disgust. "Too much responsibility huh? I don't remember desiring some position, let alone handling hundreds of people who had more capabilities than me. It was your forte, Erwin. I was just under your command."

There's life in Erwin's eyebrows as they arched prominently, questioningly. "I'm guessing you're retreating back to your false memories. Levi, you're a beast ready to pounce on every challenge in the corporate world. Everybody sees it that way. I don't know what you are in your universe but please remember what Zeke said: no retreating."

Levi's shoulders slumped down in defeat, realizing his unintentional recollection of what he had in mind. "Damn it. It's… it's just fucking hard to let go of those memories that pop up every damn time. I can't help it."

"You want to talk about it?"

"You serious?"

"Won't tell Zeke. I was just curious what happened there. It's interesting to know. Maybe I could come up with a little counseling after an evaluation of your condition. I'm not a doctor but Zeke was also clueless about your state. It wouldn't hurt if I perform my own analysis as well. That is, if you trust me."

"Yeah, I trust you." Levi was fast enough to answer and too sure about it. Erwin was more than surprised.

"Levi… this is new to me. How can you trust me so easily?"

"I told you, you were my commander back there. We had this unbreakable trust."

"Is that enough to assume I can be trusted in this world? We were never friends Levi. We are always in each other's throats and antagonize each other's existence."

"What the hell, Erwin. One moment you wanted to help, the next moment you were hesitant. Are you fucking testing me? Are you also assuming I was making this up? That I'm faking this?"

Ewrin breathed. "No, Levi. It's… it just feels strange. Strange that you were able to regard me as someone trustworthy."

"Do you even doubt yourself?"

"No."

"Then we're good. Are you willing to listen now? I can tell you how much I can remember…"

"Fine, fill me in."

Levi breathed and started, "It was a bad start for us back there, apparently…"

"Oh, we had quite a bad start here as well."

"But in there, I was tasked to kill you."

Erwin whistled audibly. And then shuddered at that.

For the first time, the conversation stretched into an hour. Eventually, they lost track of time.

"When I said I want to be a child again, I never meant 'literally'." Yelena was sitting cross-legged on a bench beside a cotton candy stand. Above her, a roller coaster whooshed, sending collective screams of delight from its riders. She held a fluffy, purple cotton candy in her right hand, picking and tearing a piece and languidly putting it into her mouth. Its sweetness had her cringing.

"The idea still came from you anyway and Onyankopon had his ways to cheer us up. Let's give him that! Bless his soul we aren't spending a dime today. I'm not one to complain though. Besides, this theme park looks fun!" Hange sat beside the lanky blonde, yellow cotton candy in her hand and was halfway consumed.

"It's not fun to die of diabetes."

"The last time I had cotton candy was when I was twelve."

"But it's not fun to have stupid hats on our heads!" Yelena babbled on. Lately, she bared her teeth, veins popping on her forehead as a little kid laughed miserably when he saw her. On her head was a colorful jester hat. Fruits dangled on each tip, making it exaggeratedly decorated and more quirky than normal. "The designer of this hat was clearly a spawn of the devil. You think this couldn't get any hideous?"

Hange laughed out loud. She flicked a piece of dangling strawberry on one of the tips. "Come on, lighten up! At least the fruits looked cute. Everybody wears stupid hats. It's our pass to get more rides and fun! We're just fucked up because we ended up with the most hilarious designs."

"Whatever happened to the baller bands? Or the stamps? Waste of money."

"It's just for today, Yelena! Don't be a fucking downer. Look, people are having fun! Other adults wear them too. And I think your hat looked way cooler than mine though."

Yelena looked at the unsightly, bald humanoid on Hange's head. It has bulging eyes and a bulbous nose. Its big, set of teeth outlined the bottom part, making it appear like it was biting off her head. "I think that was cooler."

"Wanna switch?"

"No. I'm fine being a Christmas tree ornament," Yelena droned out.

Hange laughed giddily. "At least we don't have to suffer like Onyankopon. Guy loved strolling around and not giving a shit about what he had on his head."

"Oh, thanks for that grim reminder. That truly lessened my concerns about preserving my dignity. God, I don't even want to stand beside him. Let's pretend we're not acquainted?" Yelena suggested haughtily. "Where did he run off to, anyway?"

Hange looked at her watch and noticed that Onyankopon has been away for thirty minutes. She just shrugged.

There was silence between them afterwards. Hange watched the crowd as she did on her slothful days. She was looking at people's faces and each had a smile painted on it. Obviously. This was an amusement park. Everyone was supposed to be enjoying the amenities nestled in each area of the park, drawing thrill from fun-goers ranging from extreme rides to carnival games. Her eyes traveled to the roller coaster behind her, the cart zipping at incredible speed and just in time it looped, her stomach turned.

"When I was a kid, I used to ride roller coasters non-stop. At least five rides in every visit. I loved screaming at the top of my lungs—both in fear and in excitement," Hange started as she finished her cotton candy.

"Good for you. I chicken out with those rides. Feels like I'm digging my own grave," Yelena deadpanned, earning a surprised look from Hange. "I preferred safe rides. Carousel, Ferris Wheel, those stupid kiddie rides. But I stopped eventually when my growth hormones become unrelenting. Besides, I looked funny sitting in a certain ride because I always stick out. I was that big girl who doesn't act her age."

"But look at you, having the most thrilling job in the world," Hange said.

"Hell yeah. The shittiest job in the world…"

"You stuck around in years."

"I'm thinking not for long…" Yelena said.

"Was it because of your recent rescue mission?"

"Dunno, it might have triggered it. I don't see value in what we do. I mean, yeah, it feels great to save someone, rescue someone… but at the end of the day, I realized we're no longer focusing on ourselves. We put people's lives first before our own. But I'm not a fucking noble person. Never saw myself as some hero. I had this job because I don't have a choice. Because I have bills to pay. Because I didn't finish college and…."

"Yelena…" Hange put her hand over Yelena's. "We're hanging out for fun. Give yourself a break!"

"Sorry…" Yelena murmured. "Oh god, I need a week off."

Lately, Hange spotted Onyankopon from the crowd.

"Here's Onyankopon and his larger-than-life hat. Man, this is supposed to be a wholesome theme park. I spot a walking obscenity!" Hange was laughing uncontrollably when Onyankopon stood out from the crowd. A full-bodied green frog sat on his head with eyes rolled upwards, arms raised, and legs wide open, making it look like it just ejected Onyankopon out of its body.

Laughter erupted in all directions as people took note of the funniest sight at the theme park. Yelena palmed her head, trying hard not to laugh. "We'd get the same humiliation if we stick with him…"

Onyankopon approached the women with tacos and drinks in both hands. His nonchalance was impressive though. "Got you something, we have a long day ahead."

"Really?" Yelena shot him a glare. "But hold a sec, I really feel bad about that poor frog on your head. How can it even stand having your big head stuck up its ass for hours with unchanging expression?"

"You got us tacos! Wow!" Hange grabbed the food from him. "You're the best, Onyankopon!"

"Hey easy, Hange! Save the tacos for later. What I meant was a mission. An emergency. There's a disturbed man threatening to jump off the balcony of a replica building just a few walks from here. It's already drawing attention from people," Onyankopon said.

"There goes our fun," Yelena sneered. "It's our day off, goddammit. The park personnel can handle that."

"This is a fucking theme park, a place for fun. We can't taint its grounds with some guy jumping off and killing himself just because we didn't do our jobs!" Onyankopon said.

"Where is he?" Hange asked frantically. From her peripherals, clusters of people scuttled towards one direction.

"You too?" Yelena asked in a disbelieving tone.

"There's a reason why we have this job. We just do what we are tasked to do," Hange said, grabbing Onyankopon by the arm. "You can stay here if you want, Yelena."

"Oh fucking hell," Yelena put her hands in the air. "We might stop that guy from his suicidal plans but you can't stop me from killing him!"

Hange smiled. "Alright, we'll make him live so you can kill him yourself."

Levi's biggest disturbance came in the form of Petra Ral as she leisurely walked by the poolside in a red robe. He was groaning internally as she gave a small wave and sat a few meters away from him, basking under the sun on a lounge chair. The umbrella above him where he took shade gave enough relief—enough shadow to hide his growing discomfort. His advanced mind was a little troubling though. Petra's actions are getting more and more distracting.

As soon as Erwin left, he decided to spend a few more hours reading profiles of people within his company. He was on full concentration absorbing some details which would help him adjust in the event of meeting them in person until Petra was already in his viewpoint, rising his body temperature by a few degrees. Unsurprisingly, she knew exactly how to draw attention. Over the past few days, she was slyly experimental, a tease, and has always picked at Levi's vulnerable self.

Levi was inexperienced at the back of his primitive memory but he was not completely naïve-of-a-man. He knew about intimate partnerships but the idea of the pleasures that came with them leaves something to nag at his curiosity. He tapped at the keyboard furiously and began researching for other names to pique his interest. But he stiffened on his seat when his 'probably' old self took over and the search engines showed him pictures of him and Petra together. It was no longer a surprise as Petra introduced their pictures back at the hospital to prove that their relationship exists. However, pictures from the press hit differently. Candid shots tell most of the story, the body language and the number of times he saw himself and Petra kissed publicly. No doubt, he was madly in love with this woman.

It didn't help that the robe which Petra donned a while ago was already a forgotten heap beside her, exposing her toned body. Her red swimwear gave Levi a few bullet sweats, tracing down his face. He averted his gaze once she held a bottle of sunblock and poured its contents onto her palms, slathering it all over her skin.

Damn Petra knew she had an audience. She glistened under the sun and a part of Levi was already enjoying the view.

He wasn't full-blooded dense. He was just a man with weaknesses. He admitted to himself that Petra was indeed attractive. Very attractive. For the first time after gaining consciousness and the awkwardness that followed between them, Levi no longer saw her as his subordinate and some stranger he would pull away from. Suddenly, he remembered the warmth of her mouth against his. Maybe he was quite regretful that it should've taken a little longer, a little more passionate, and maybe a little too far. He wouldn't need to remember and envision those times that were shared under the sheets and behind closed doors. It's basic knowledge that intimacy happened between them at some point, taking their relationship to another level and that went on for years.

But today, everything just flew out of the window.

"Damn…" He shook his head and composed himself. Maybe the part of his old self was slowly emerging but he is not one to welcome its rebirth. Not yet. Was he afraid of something?

There was a pull on his arm.

"Look at you checking me out…" Petra came forward, unnoticed. The softness of her hands sent shivers down his spine. "Join me at the pool? The weather's good for some dip."

"No. I'd rather not swim today…"

"Come on! You haven't tried swimming since we took shelter here," Petra gave another pull. Her arms hooked on his left arm, bringing them dangerously close to her chest. "What are you up to?"

"I was checking the company's profile…" Levi's eyes got stuck on the monitor.

"You've been on it for days. Did it even help?"

No. "Yes. It's helping a little so please…"

"You have plenty of time for that. Why not join me? It will relax your mind for a while…"

"Petra… I said no…" He wouldn't budge. His current self was against the idea of both of them ending up making out in the pool but with his racing mind and heart right now—god, it felt different when a gorgeous woman was taking his personal space.

Petra as a soldier was naturally strong. It almost came to him as a joke when she deftly pulled him out of his seat, successfully dragging him across the pool yard where the inviting blanket of blue loomed a few feet away.

"You know, you always carry me over your shoulder when we do this thing but it seemed to me you're a little shy to move so let me just do it this time." Petra beamed at him. "Let me just accomplish something!"

God knows why Levi felt entranced by her at that very moment. Her clutch wouldn't let go, prodding him to get nearer at the edge of the pool. And his damn feet humored her.

"For god's sake Petra, I'm having my clothes on!"

"You can always take them off. Or would you let me?" She winked.

He could no longer hide the redness on his cheeks. "Hey, I really am not…"

His protests didn't make any sense when there was already a giant splash of water as both of them unceremoniously fell into the pool. The sensation of having someone's body pressed against him while keeping both of them afloat underwater was achingly familiar—somewhere deep down in the recesses of his mind came an image of someone hugging him tightly—while the currents move and bullets swirl past him and he couldn't even save himself. Save them both.

His subconscious drifted back to where it shouldn't be.

A gentle pat on the cheek snapped him back from that spine-chilling trance.

"Levi?" Petra's golden eyes were unreadable, but he can tell they switched abruptly from the earlier sparkling ones to worrisome. Disturbingly worrisome.

Whatever face he was making, Levi had to conciliate the increasing uneasiness on Petra's face. "Petra…"

She cupped his face with both hands and examined his eyes. She pushed back his hair off his forehead and leaned closer. "You scared me. You were like… out for a minute…"

A minute? He couldn't have been drowning. That side of the pool was only chest-deep and as far as his consciousness took him, he was standing upright with Petra right in front of him and his feet touching the tiled floor.

"I'm okay…" he said.

"You're spaced out for a while."

"Maybe it felt like it's my first time again being thrown into a pool…"

A pool. A body of water. A raging river.

"Are you hurting anywhere?" Petra asked, her hands were still on his face. "You're pale."

Levi could feel her breath on his face, intoxicating his senses. His hands carefully slinked their way around her waist to the small of her back as he pulled her close.

He hesitated at first. His hooded eyes traced Petra's face. From her forehead down to her lips. And he settled there right at the rosy buds that are a few inches away from his own. He found himself automatically leaning closer as his eyes were locked on her. She didn't flinch nor move. She was more than glad to welcome the coming moment as she parted her lips. She knew what was coming.

But the anticipation didn't come.

Levi stopped halfway as the sides of their noses touched.

"I…I'm sorry…" He carefully stepped backward with a low grunt and slowly headed for the pool steps. The tension died down instantaneously and he was glad of his resistance.

Series of flashbacks jogged within his now pounding head. Too vivid that they are hard to ignore. Once, there was a blue sky above him and an expansive stretch of the ocean. Seven other people had their calves submerged in the water, experiencing the sea for the first time.

He thought he saw Mikasa, joined by two other males as they are looking at the horizon. Another set of three people broke the calmness of the atmosphere as they splashed each other with saltwater, stinging their eyes in the process.

Levi was nowhere near the water. As a first-timer, instincts told him that anything new to the eyes posed a potential threat. So he just stood watchfully by the shoreline, burying his booted feet into the grittiness of the sand. As a mix of laughter filled the air—concluding that the place was nowhere near as unsafe as he thought—he finally relaxed.

"Oh! I think I see something…"

The voice was loud enough to be normal. But he knew that voice too well. That lively tone graced and irritated his ears every now and then.

His eyes traveled to that certain figure, doubled over a new discovery as her eyes searched the water. Pants folded up to her knees and a brown jacket long gone, her trademark maniacal grin beats the sunshine.

"Oi Hange! Don't touch anything. It might be poisonous."

It was her alright. Levi saw that memory. It played smoothly inside his head as he saw Hange ignoring his warnings, pulling out two spongy sea creatures with both hands. She turned back to Levi, flashing him a taunting smile. He stepped back, knowing exactly what her dark plans are. But she was undaunted by his deadly glares as she put the creatures back in the water and marched towards him. Before he could make a move, her hands went straight to his right arm, pulling her with him. She was insistent enough, as her own arms snaked around his to secure her grip. His elbow touched the part of her small bosom but neither one of them reacted.

There's no awkwardness. Only comfort.

"Hange…" Levi found himself muttering her name.

And Hange successfully dragged him to experience the sea.

It took seconds to realize Petra was trailing behind him. "Levi? Is everything okay?"

Notes:

Happy New Year!

Yes, this story is still going on even if I'm always tempted to drop this halfway. Maybe on the next chapter, I'll try to reunite Levi and Hange.

Kudos and comments are appreciated.

Chapter 12

Notes:

Not too long ago after an update of my other fic, I said about being unwell and guess I was right all along that I'm covid-infected with the fast-spreading omicron variant. Well, my whole family's also infected so being quarantined at home took me more time in updating this (the symptoms are just mild and the headache's gone). I'm not sure about the next chapters though since I think I'll be coming back to work in a few days again.

So here's what went on because I'm 95% sick and 5% bored. Might edit some parts because I'm shitty at re-reading this again.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

They never took part in rescuing suicidal people. Not even once. The closest Hange could get to talk people out of their misery is over a bottle of drinks. Today, she decided that her mind was an utter mess so she got Onyankopon and Yelena to do the talking.

The "boulevard" where the incident takes place was a replica of classic and vintage architecture—a row of narrow and colorful buildings with stacked balconies rising up to five stories high. Hange would have guessed that these buildings are solely for picture-taking purposes because tourists aren't allowed entry. It was quite a surprise that these buildings apparently have occupants inside.

The "star of the day" took the balcony on the fourth floor, earning a gasping crowd beneath him. Humanity took over as some spectators gathered makeshift cushions and spread them across the point of landing just in case the attempt succeeded. He was perched on the steel deck rail, feet dangling but still struggling to get some footholds. His hands were tightly gripped on the top rail and by the looks of it, there was uncertainty on his part to proceed with his plans. To jump or to stay put.

"Sir, if you must know… this was an amusement park. Children come here and you couldn't just put on a show to traumatize them because of your troubles." Hange could hear Onyankopon's soothing and melodic voice just below her.

Hange was positioned on the fifth platform, squatted like an attack is about to take place. Her eyes searched the railing below her to locate the man's position. He was seated at the nook of the railing where the bars meet. At a time like this, this guy still sought comfort for his butt? She looked at her watch, it's been thirty minutes.

For some reason, Hange presumed he wouldn't jump. She couldn't say if his suicide plan was really well-thought-of since he wasn't carrying any weapon as an alternative to self-inflict. And why the fourth story where falling is survivable? The bastard's killing time. She couldn't help her agitation. The guy had little to no fucking reason to give up his life like that.

"What do I care about children? I don't even have my own!" the man snarled.

"If you do have a problem, we can talk. Jumping off wouldn't solve any of it," Onyankopon said calmly.

Hange was on her phone, gathering further information on the subject. Prior to getting into the task, they were informed that the man, Flegel Reeves was actually the son of the amusement park's owner, Dimo Reeves. His name was known in the business industry but Hange was not aware that there was a successor in the family. Some unverified sources say that Flegel was inefficient in handling the family business. Three of which went bankrupt under his management. Flegel was filthy rich, his suicide attempt was senseless.

Hange forwarded some information on Yelena's phone, expecting she might do something to buy some time and prolong the pep-talk until the arrival of the most suitable people to handle this case.

"Flegel, right?" Yelena's voice was surprisingly chill but low, almost masculine. A deliberate attempt to intimidate and not pacify a troubled mind. "How come that the son of the very owner of this amusement park had plans to die? Is your business not doing well?"

Damn Yelena, what are you doing? Hange would've scolded her right there and then.

"Let me tell you of a fail-proof suicide. Are you aware that a fall from four stories was sometimes survivable? Your desire of going straight to hell will be delayed because you'd be taken to the hospital with broken bones, a broken spine, a broken face, and maybe some internal bleeding depending on which part of your body takes the hit—and that will make you wheelchair-bound. That's not a good sign because it would be hard for you to take action on your second attempt because you'll need some aid—that is, if you still had your puny brain working to remember your suicide mission. But I guess we won't be dealing with broken bones today for two reasons. One, you see those amazing people down there ready to catch your body? They want to prevent a bloody scene. So that makes them against your plans. Two, the cushions will catch your fat ass just fine. I'd like to see you try to jump and we'd all have a good laugh."

The hell, Yelena! Hange was raking her hair with her fingers. Yelena was too good at bullying people. Never thought she'd bring that skill to this situation. It's already a bad thing there was an alleged mentally unstable man taking the spotlight but it was even worse with Yelena's presence.

There's a laugh. "It's stupid, Flegel. You could've just gone for a ride in one of your loopy rides and pretended you're strapped in. That should make it look like an accident. Or maybe that big Ferris wheel. It gets the job done because the height was not survivable enough unless your body gets caught in the steel bars—but that'll end you up in the hospital just the same so you should be very strategic about it."

"Yelena…" Onyankopon tried to stop her.

"So just in case I really died from the rides, my name will make it to the papers. People will talk about it. People will empathize with my fate because I died in my own amusement park. And then this business that my dad worked hard for will gain a bad rep. The rides aren't safe. People won't come here again," Flegel said.

Onyankopon and Yelena exchanged looks. Hange cussed internally.

"So you're not perfectly an idiot as I thought. You know the consequences." Yelena's tone was smooth, mocking and Hange wanted to kick her shins.

"I am not good in business and I leave everything to Dad but he wanted me to take over. I… I can't handle that! I managed to fuck up three of his businesses already," Flegel cried. "I can't add up anymore to that!"

"Oh, I see. You're concerned about daddy's business. And since you didn't take the rides and you're so smart to have thought of the repercussions in the first place, then this plan of jumping off that fucking railing is no fucking different! People are watching, you bastard! You think people enjoyed watching you, huh?!" Yelena's eyes darkened, her voice a few octaves high and Hange almost jumped. "You think by tomorrow, this park would still be the same?! Filled with laughter? Excitement? Filled with kids and their cotton candies?! Cut me some slack you ugly son of a bitch, you dying will make it all worse!"

Flegel was shivering on the railing.

"Let me just handle this, Yelena…" Onyankopon said and attempted to step a little closer towards Flegel.

"You are fucking wasting our time… no… you've wasted it enough. You see we're on our day off and what an unholy time to be back in the job that we want to take a break from. You're a goddamned lucky guy with money overflowing in your bathtub, Flegel! You had one job and that is to be a successor, damn it! There are ways to handle a business and it's not just on you! You can hire people! You can pick the trusted ones! You won't have to be like us lowly rescue officers who've experienced the worst of the worst!" Yelena was screaming. "You won't have to be out there risking your life because you have to fucking save someone! Have you jumped on a fire, swam the ocean, slept in the cold, trapped beneath the rubble? Have you fucking experienced being held at gunpoint just because it's part of your job?!"

Hange was gripping the baluster tightly. Yelena, you're too emotional.

"So Flegel, this is your opportunity to jump. But I gotta tell you, you're the weakest person in the world, you're a fucking coward it's almost laughable."

"What?!" Hange sprang up from her squatting position and peered over the next balcony.

"Jump, survive and be in for pain. And let me just add that the humiliation is not just on you but your Dad's. Lots of cameras are on us right now, exposing your face. You took this too far Flegel, but it's not too late to…"

There was a sudden cheer from the crowd. Onyankopon and Yelena's eyes got big when a body hung from above, swinging and kicking Flegel viciously, causing him to fall backwards on the deck with a loud thud.

"H-Hange?!" Onyakopon had no time to react and cushion the impact. Flegel was already crumpled on the floor.

Hange took a second swing so she can cross over the railing. As she bounced on her knees upon landing, the crowd cheered once again.

"No shit. You knocked this bastard out." Yelena bent over to check on the unconscious Flegel. "Oh, looks like you got your heel straight to the jaw. But he's still breathing… no worries…"

"I'm fucking sick of suicidal people!" Hange said and shook both her arms wildly to ease the strain from her previous stunt. "I went too far, didn't I?"

"Just… a bit… unlike Yelena here…" Onyankopon said.

"Oh right," Hange remembered why she jumped on Flegel in the first place. "And what was that Yelena? That's your way to sympathize with someone depressed?"

"Reverse Psychology can be helpful you know. Sounds brutal but I'm confident I made some sense. But if you must know we were summoned here to waste time. His initial actions alone tell he had no intention to jump—the way he was seated there, his feet finding support—so I just feel like mocking and pointing out his idiocy. It's his scheming tactic to gain attention because he wanted to be heard and he needed an audience. We don't need to hear the details but that little info you passed on had more to reveal," Yelena said nonchalantly and poked the body with her toe. "His means of suicide is plain stupid, not even tactful. He just wanted to make a scene and he succeeded. He's desperate not to take the responsibilities his father kept pushing on him hence this flop. So let's see how the older Reeves take care of this shame. Poor guy to have a son like that."

Hange knew what Yelena was talking about. In fact, she thought the same way in the first place. Yelena was a master of mind-reading, sociopathic at times but very well-read on people's behavior.

"But he'd still be a subject of mockery in the following days. Especially that he was being kicked and knocked out by someone who's got an ugly creature biting off her head," Yelena said, pouting at the realization that they are still wearing their ugly hats.

The three looked at each other and mirrored their amusement.

"And so Onyankopon would not be convincing enough to take the lead on a tactical interview because the frog is utterly the biggest distraction," Yelena continued.

"It's more of a shit show than a real-time drama," Onyankopon said.

Hange eyed the out-cold guy. Later, footsteps were heard coming up their way. "Yelena, I hate your guts but I gotta tell you are quite impressive for someone who's on the verge of quitting her job."

"It was you who kicked him to safety, Hange," Yelena said. "You acted fast when my words haven't sunk yet. That's a sign you should return to work…"

"And what about you?" Hange challenged.

"I might need a few drinks to decide…" Yelena said.

"But can the drinks happen because we saved someone's life today?"

"There's plenty of other days for that. And I didn't think I saved that bastard's life because his plans are far-off from suicide. I just wanted my words to be taken into consideration. Sometimes, mad people listen to mad people."

Some uniformed men came into the scene and checked on Flegel. After verifying he's just unconscious, one of them turned to Hange.

"Looks like you guys finished our job in a short span of time..."

"We're rescue officers out of our duties today but we still made our call," Hange said. "Get the guy out of here and kindly check if he's got injured in the process. I might have kicked a little harder than intended."

The cop smiled. "We're on it. Anyway, we might need a word from you three as witnesses to this incident."

"Lord, not again…" Yelena said. "We just prevented some shit happening to think it's not even our job. Can you just spare us our time to enjoy our day off? It's best if you guys talk to the subject and his father or the people surrounding him because family business is the root cause of this fiasco."

Hange cut her off. "Yeah, I think we're no longer needed there. It's between him and his father. That's all we can say. But take it easy on him."

"Okay… but you did a great job and maybe…"

"Here, my card in case you might need to contact us. And tell the older Reeves we're willing to get our reward if he insists…" Yelena smiled knowingly and handed him her calling card. "A month-supply of booze will do. But right now, we need to get going because our boss hated publicity. Our day-off only happens once in a while so would you be a dear and spare the trouble to someone else?"

Yelena's height was intimidating enough to shut him up. She took the cue and led both Hange and Onyankopon out of the scene. The crowd was still there when they stepped out of the building. As they weaved through the pack of curious and overjoyed faces, Hange felt a sense of pride and glory.

"So… where to next? Somewhere we can just stay out of trouble for once?" Yelena asked once they were out of the area.

"You got anything in mind?" Hange asked.

"Somewhere I can get really drunk so if there's gonna be a fire or quake or something, I'd be too dead to function and do my job…" Yelena said crossly.

"Hey, you're quite in the mood today!" Hange said and hooked her arm on Yelena's. "Cheer up… we'll have fun until midnight, hm?"

"Why can't I just hate you, Hange?" Yelena asked her lazily.

"Because I can't hate you either?" Hange said.

"Guys, I still have the tacos with me," Onyankopon chimed. "No interruptions now."

"Fucking finally…" Yelena said and grabbed her share.

"Careful… please be careful with her…"

It took two muscled men to carry Yelena's knocked-out body out of the pub that night. She was only a little buzzed two hours ago and intelligible enough to be carrying a conversation with a group of strangers but seeing her like a slain victim and the men who carried her as her murderers struggling to fit her body into the car, Hange was pretty sure they had the best night. Onayankopon was behind her and a little tipsy, too.

"You okay?" Hange asked him and placed an arm over his shoulder.

"If that blonde giant wasn't knocked out this early, I'd be dead tomorrow," Onyankopon said and nursed his temples with his fingers. "Man, didn't think our rescue mission went viral in hours and people recognized us!"

Hange chuckled as she watched the men taking turns on how to secure Yelena's wasted self at the cab's backseat.

"We… agreed we'll only have a few drinks for the night until people pointed at us and then…" He was visibly slurring his lines and Hange steadied him.

"There are free-flowing drinks." Hange finished it for him. A minute more and she knew Onyankopon will be next to Yelena.

"You're a fucking beast Hange… why aren't you a bit buzzed?"

"I am, Onyankopon. Don't take me for anything. There's a bit of a headache coming already, apparently…" Hange said and she was not kidding.

"I had like twelve shots and some beers, you had more than that and you tell me a little headache's just coming in?" His eyes were half-lidded and Hange noted it's not a good sign.

"Hey!" Hange called for the cab driver. "Take this guy too at the same address…"

"No," Onyankopon stepped back, hands in the air. "Not in Yelena's place for fuck's sake!"

She hushed him. "Be the gentleman, Onyankopon! Take Yelena back to her apartment. Watch her for me, yeah?"

"Oh Hange, she'll be barfing all her soul by two o'clock and she'll never let me sleep! I'd rather take care of baby's shit and piss than her mess all over her house!" Onyankopon complained.

"It's not that you haven't done that a hundred times already…" Hange said. "You're best of friends."

"Just when she's sober!"

Hange pushed him towards the waiting cab. A little too insistent for him to stumble over if he's out of balance. "You need to take it easy. We're superheroes today and people celebrated that with us. Please be grateful we had each other and we worked as a team."

Onyankopon seemed pleased with that and humored her anyway. "So what about you, you going home now?"

"I am. I just need to drop by the convenience store on the way," Hange said. "Hey, you gotta get going. Don't make the cab wait."

Onyankopon nodded and saluted her as he wordlessly slid inside the car. Hange watched them drove away until they disappeared from her sight. She convinced herself that the endless shots of booze tonight didn't have an effect on her—in fact, they did. Surprisingly did. She knew this feeling.

Her thoughts went back to the pub where people recognized the trio from a video that made rounds on social media earlier. Wasn't hard to tell—a brunette with glasses, a dark-skinned man and a ridiculously tall woman were all distinct in their own way. Some people flooded their booth and charmed their way to get to know them. Yelena—being the asocial type was a little overwhelmed that she had to drink every second as her real purpose is to get literally drunk. Whether Yelena looked like she hated the attention, Hange knew the smug smile from her that came a little obvious when people fawn over her like she was some worshipped deity.

For a little while, Hange was happy and it didn't need convincing from her inner voice of that feeling. The fact that she saved another life after Levi was more than enough to prove that she was still effective in her duties—albeit the recklessness that came along with it.

Levi.

She scolded herself for remembering the name and with that, she thought she was not buzzed enough to forget all about him. Maybe it was just a slight admiration, a little crush—an immature desire, a fanatic-type of liking… it all goes down to like him all the same. She's not denying it though.

Or was it alcohol?

Was Yelena right about lacking the inspiration to push forward in life? And if that were true then, should the inspiration be something—someone attainable?

Attainable.

One of these days, she should stop hanging out with that blonde weirdo.

She spotted the nearest 24-hour convenience store a few blocks away and mustered to get there on foot. She felt very much alive at this hour and she would guess fifteen shots of vodka or whatever concoction of poison was spilling out in her bloodstream was not enough. She'll always find a reason to drink tonight.

The girl at the counter punched three bottles of spirits. She gave Hange a dubious look but proceeded with the items anyway.

"Oh! Can I get one clubhouse sandwich too?" Hange chirped as she spotted the rack where the sandwiches are.

"Sure," the girl smiled and watched Hange skip and make her way back with two sandwiches.

"One is not enough I guess," Hange beamed.

A biting breeze welcomed Hange outside the convenience store but the heat from her liquor spree earlier defied all laws of nature. She looked at both her sides and noticed the emptying streets at this time of the evening. One more hour and it will be past midnight but she wanted to go somewhere else. Somewhere where she can probably sit alone with her thoughts and not occupy her bed where she will surely toss and turn the whole night. The monsters might have taken residence under her bed now and she had a feeling they were about to attack again tonight.

Promise, I'd be better after this.

She hailed a cab and after a few loops on the empty roads, she was taking in the unremarkable view of a bare park that lost its colors during these times. The same park in Hermina where she met him for the first time. There are still spots of green where lamp posts are placed all over the perimeter. A lone bench sat nearby and she took one side, placing her bag of goods beside her. She took two bottles out and popped one open, the other placed on the other side.

It gets lonelier by the minute of pure seclusion. She took a big swig from her bottle and turned to her side, smiling at an imaginary friend as company.

"Care for a swig?" she asked nobody in particular, raising the bottle up in the air as if a celebration has just started. Obviously, nobody answered her.

"I was expecting you to show up at least…" she mumbled sadly and took another shot, her bottle nearing halfway consumed already. "I mean… I want to hear more of your stories…your memories… it's nice to listen… than be listened to…."

Another swig.

"But you know, I wonder… how does it feel not remembering at all? Do you still feel the same way towards certain people? How do your loved ones deal with that? How does it feel on your end? Was there freedom or relief from not having recollections of your bad memories because the problems of your past were forgotten?"

She took another sip and propped her elbows onto her knees. "You know… I saved someone today. It was a funny one though… I thought I really wanted to quit this job but… guess the world still needs me more than I need the world…."

She laughed softly at her drunken self. Almost wanted to hit her head after realizing her idiotic attempts at claiming an invisible podium for free speech. She lost track of time when she silenced herself for a while and gave way to the crickets to own the night.

"It may or may not be out of duty. But the event is happening and I was there and hell, who wants to witness a suicide attempt? Well, it happens it wasn't really a suicide attempt. It's a botched scheme of the guy to probably convince his father that he doesn't want responsibilities. It's a sort of escape. But to actually draw a crowd, traumatize the kids and showcase his stupidity and weakness… what kind of world do we have? Why does one have to do the craziest things to run away from responsibilities?"

If responsibilities are bigger than the person and he knows his limited capabilities, it's pretty natural for him to curl up and run away from them.

"Well, yeah. It varies from person to person. But does he have to give up easily? Was he out of options? He had the money to hire his support system in the business and he had his father to back him up…"

Not all people are molded perfectly to fit into a task. Some had a natural talent, some have worked hard for their skills and some are just born into this world to slack off and not do anything productive in life. It looks like he's in the third category.

Hange laughed. "Well yes… there are different kinds of people. And it's quite amusing that everyone had different coping mechanisms and ways to handle their lives… their problems. And we—god forbid—are all naturally judgmental and self-righteous like we need to shape up the norm and have the same pattern of how we should lead our lives like we knew what's best. We are all experts huh?"

Easier said than done. We are experts in telling others about life management in general but haven't we fucked up our lives most of the time and we can't do a damn shit about it? We're dumbasses pretending to be smartasses.

Hange was nodding. "Good point… but, I guess it's easier for us to see people move and witness the end results of their undertakings. It's easy for us to give advice because it's not our problem and we simply give it out of our morals. It's easy because it's not us who take action on the problem—which most of the time comes off more jarring if it's our own. Well…"

"Well?"

Hange furrowed her brows and pierced her temples as her self-monologue has turned into some kind of internal debate. Or was it expressed too out loud that she thought there was really someone beside her and responding to her musings all this time?

And all this time…

Hange's head flung to her side and saw someone sitting beside her, holding the bottle of liquor she placed there a moment ago. She blinked a few times and squinted enough to prove that her severe alcohol intake isn't giving her hallucinations.

He was wearing a blue hooded jacket, zipped midway with a white shirt underneath. One leg propped up on his knee, he was sitting comfortably on that side of the bench where there was a safe distance between them. He was drinking the liquor unrestrainedly like it belonged to him.

He turned to look at Hange with his usual unimpressed expression. "Well… what?"

"L-Levi?! H-how…" Hange's head throbbed some more and realized that this moment is very much fucking with her. "Wh-what the…"

She kissed her bottle one last time only to feel the last drop of liquid hitting her tongue. How fast can she finish a bottle? God knows.

"I was nearing my last drop too…" Levi droned out and inspected his bottle. "Thanks for this."

"You gotta be fucking kidding me…" Hange stammered and slapped her face a few times to feel its sting. If there is one moment Hange wouldn't be caught dead to be doing something, it would be her audible ramblings that were reserved for nocturnal creatures. Surprisingly, Levi was one of them.

"Oi Hange, you're not thinking I'm an apparition, are you?"

He's here? He's really here? How didn't she notice?

"Four-eyes…"

Hange felt a hand grabbing the bundle of hair at the back of her head. The grip was a little tight as she was forced to turn and face him. Up-close.

"Am I not real enough for you?" He was loud and clear enough to be heard and that very close gap between them—one breath away—would fog up her eyeglasses. She doesn't need to be drunk and imagine things to her desire but Levi was like an answered prayer, ejected by some time machine out of nowhere and she couldn't put her thoughts together.

"How did you even get here?" Hange managed to ask unblinkingly, hoping that awkward distance was not a figment of a drunken mind.

"Are we already talking earlier?"

Hange shook her head and leaned away, making Levi release his hold of her hair. She was frantically fanning herself with both hands as if Levi's presence took the air out of her lungs.

"Damn, I looked like a fucking idiot. All this time I thought I was talking to myself. How didn't I even realize someone's beside me already?!" Hange chuckled shakily as she grabbed the last bottle from her loot and twisted the cap. She took one long gulp.

"Oh, I see. Same old Hange and her monologues. But you don't need confirmation from me that you're an idiot when in fact, you are. But for an idiot, you made a lot of sense…" Levi said as he relaxed in his seat. He took the last drop of alcohol from the bottle. "We had a nice conversation going on until you realized you apparently aren't alone. My…looks like I ruined the mood."

"Why are you out here of all places?" Hange asked without missing a beat.

"I could ask the same thing," Levi said with a challenging tone.

"Well," Hange cleared her throat. "Idiots can be around in all places, no matter what time. Am I not allowed to spend mine in a place so peaceful like this?"

Levi hummed. "So that makes me an idiot, too."

Hange cracked up and thoughtlessly held out her bottle to him. "Or maybe we think alike. Idiots think alike, too. Have another swig?"

Levi's eyes were wide but his pleasant surprise was undeniable.

But Hange drew back the bottle. "Oh wait, are you even allowed to drink? Are you on medications? This is bad for-"

He took the bottle nonetheless and glugged a generous portion of the liquid much to Hange's amusement. "Fuck medications. Nothing's ever bad. I'm already in a shitty situation anyway."

She was now thinking of the silliest things—the indirect kiss and Levi's laidback charm that had her cheeks heating up for the tenth time today. As Levi gave back her drink, she took some time staring at its mouth which Levi previously smooched. And she wondered about the taste he left.

"Say, Levi. Why do we find each other in the oddest of places?" Hange asked suddenly.

"I'd rather ask the biggest question why I feel comfortable around you…" Levi droned out, throwing his head up to look at the stars. "To think you're just a stranger."

Her chest thumped at that. "You can't control how your memory works. And I think they also associate with feelings. Well, we both know your memory of me doesn't take me for a stranger."

Levi sighed in response.

"Are you actually looking for my company that's why you're here?" Hange asked. It was a trick question that she might regret later but being half-drunk and throwing half-assed questions are the least of her worries.

Levi hummed. "My memory tells me you're someone I trusted. So maybe… yes…"

"And what makes you think I'll be around here? At this hour?"

"But you're already here just fine," Levi shot back in a bored tone. "Whether you're here or not, I'd still be sitting around just because I need some peace and quiet."

"Okay, that's generally the point. But just so you know, it's my first time coming here alone in the middle of the night. I was just out of the pub and alcohol was kicking in too slow. And I don't want another pub crawl when I don't have my friends with me. This place… I kinda liked it when I first came here so here I am picking up where I left off my drinking session."

Levi chuckled. "You had some badass tolerance."

Badass? Hange wondered if Levi's CEO vernacular registry had a thing for slang words. Or does being with her need not polite substitutes? "But you know… I kinda thought about you at one point while I was drinking here. I would love to have you around for some… strange reason."

She was meaning to say that. After all, alcohol was really kicking in and aiding some audacity to sound more genuine.

"Yeah… and we haven't heard from each other after we parted ways that day," Levi said.

Hange smiled at that small detail—Levi remembered their first meeting. But she decided it's never good to discuss the glee of catching up. After all, they were still strangers to one another. "It's been a while now … how have you been if you don't mind me asking? I'm glad you made it back home. I was worried, to be honest."

It took a few seconds for Levi to answer. His head was still thrown back, leaning on the backrest and Hange would guess he was looking for answers among the stars. "You're not obliged to worry about my safety…"

"But I was! And shit I should have forced you to get my number and call me if you ever got home…"

"I'm not a kid."

"Your situation is."

"Was it natural for you to worry about every fucking being's safety? That's way too noble of a job…" Levi's words were a little abrasive. Or maybe he hated the fact that Hange's personality from his other world and the current world is scarily the same.

Hange slowly shook the bottle in circles and took another fill for her drying throat. "Don't push it. I was just trying to be unpretentiously nice, Levi. I always wish for everybody's safety and you're no exception especially since I saved you. Never doubt my sincerity because honestly, it hurts."

The silence that followed was deafening or was it the air between them that weighed too heavy?

"It was just…shit… I hate this world…I hate everything about me now," Levi revealed and stretched his legs like he'd be sliding off of his seat.

Hange could feel the gravity of his tone as she carefully planned her next words. But nothing came out.

"And that world at the back of my head? Those stupid memories I got? I hate those too. I hate both worlds. Is there even a middle ground to this?" Levi asked her. He reached for the bottle and Hange willfully handed it to him.

"The middle ground is where you are right now. If you find this place peaceful, or if you wanted time to stop in this place, this was your escape ground—at least for the time being until you pieced yourself back together. But maybe you need someone to talk to and there's no other person around but me…" Hange said.

"Yeah, I should just put up with your presence as if I have a choice…"

"Would you rather have anyone in particular?"

"No."

"Then you're under the mercy of unfortunate events. So bear with me." Hange managed a mocking smile. "But tell me, why all that hate?"

There is no use in confining all that is there that didn't matter in his current situation. After all, Levi's thoughts were living in fake memories and it was his problem and his alone. But it wouldn't hurt to share, would it? Especially with someone he never interacted with before. Someone irrelevant. Someone whose life is not aligned with his. Some stranger.

He breathed. "There's no means of escape in both worlds. Back there… there was war, genocide, unfulfilled duties, and endless quests for survival. Trouble left and right. Sleepless nights. So much blood and violence, so many secrets to uncover, so many sacrifices for nothing. I thought waking up in this world with those memories was a break from all the chaos that happened there. I'd say it made me relieved being here…in a different world where I won't have to kill people—kill giants, put humanity's safety into my hands. I won't have to watch comrades die and avenge them over and over. It's a sickening cycle and for a while, I thought it was much more peaceful here. It's easier to breathe."

Hange understood. "Your memory convinced yourself that those events happened and carried on and they greatly affected you. So to wake up in this world and see a big difference, naturally, it's an overwhelming feeling."

Levi nodded in frustration. "But it's another hell to wake up to. I recognized people from a nonexistent world and they're completely different as much as my knowledge of them holds. How come that my mortal enemy is actually my best friend? How come that a comrade I cared less was my own flesh and blood? How come I loved someone when I knew nothing about romance? Where do I fit now and who do I trust? And then I learned I have hundreds of things in my hands. How do I fulfill my duties then? How do I perform the responsibilities that were sidetracked for a while now? How do I live with this?"

Hange could not help but stare. For someone who lost his memories, he had been putting so much thought into a life he knew nothing of.

"Can I just run away from all these?" Levi asked.

"The memories you hold today simply didn't belong in this world… that's why you're struggling. And you've been drifting too far so I guess, you have to slow down walking that memory lane. Levi… when I saw you at the bar that night, I knew I'd never ever had the chance to have something like this… but it happened. We're in this deep conversation and I'm sharing liquor with you. An Ackerman of all people! Things happen for a reason… there are things we simply can't change. Things that are out of our hands but we shouldn't just run away from…"

"Then how do I deal with this?" Levi took a sip out of the bottle again and thrust it back to Hange.

"You're a different person before all this and I made some research about you. Have you ever tried looking up articles about yourself? About how the name Levi Ackerman graced the front pages, contributed to the economy, and how your love story with Petra was the most talked about? Have you dared to slip into those lost chapters in your life? Are you even curious? Because Levi… you need some juggling, you need to know the old you even in the papers. You don't need to act the way you did before but I guess if you acquired a little knowledge of who you are, maybe you decide for yourself if you want to continue the life that got sidetracked even if… even if nothing returns to normal. Do you want your old self back? Do you think you can be the same person? Can you actually force the old Levi out of the new Levi? How do you think your condition will affect people? Your company? How will the absence of the old you affect the situation? Is it for the better or for worse?" Hange asked thought-provokingly. "It's all up to you. You still hold the better judgment. You have to act on this. Running away isn't always the best option…"

"I knew you would say that…" Levi said firmly, holding on to a memory of Commander Hange on the brink of giving up her duties but still staying in action. She dedicated her heart. It was the last memory he remembered.

"How can you tell?" Hange asked.

Levi just shrugged.

"Was it the Hange at the back of your memory?"

He nodded once. "I don't know but I thought you're the same person at the back of my head… and there's another one. A guy named Erwin Smith was another trusted ally in that world but my biggest adversary here. I warmed up to him because… it felt like our relationship is the same back there…"

"Wow…" Hange's mouth fell open. "You think he can be trusted?"

"My instincts tell me he is. My sister and doctor haven't even said anything bad about him so I thought maybe he's fine."

Hange thought hard. "Maybe it's also a way to fix things on your end. Your relationships with other people and didn't go well in reality. I think circumstances find their way to give more meaning to your life, no matter how messed up it looks today."

"Maybe…" Levi hummed.

"B-but… how about you and your girlfriend?" Hange turned away almost immediately after asking the most unwanted question.

Levi froze and his eyes turned into daggers.

"Wh-whoa… sorry. It's too personal I guess. You don't have to tell me!" Hange said, waving her hands in front of her face.

"I... I think a part of me is still attracted to her," Levi started without a hint of awkwardness. "It was still strange for me because I remembered her as a comrade and she did things that… really surprised me."

Hange wanted to jump into another question but Levi was talking again. He was too open about it. Or was it alcohol's doing that he was being too blunt about things that should be left unspoken.

"I didn't even know how to return that kiss…"

Hange convinced herself that alcohol was making it worse. She swallowed another one and the thought of Levi wanting another sip just made her save a few ounces for him. Just in case.

"I tried actually… to kiss her earlier. We're at the pool… she dragged me there and we're close…and."

Hange downed the drink.

"But it doesn't feel right. I don't know… it was a manly desire at first and she was a beautiful human in my eyes but…"

"Levi," Hange stopped him mid-sentence. God, she needed another drink. "Are you trying to force yourself to feel the same way even if there's a part of you that's against it?"

"I… maybe I am… she's my girlfriend, I suppose. She expects me to…"

"People expect a lot, of course," Hange sighed, remembering the numerous pictures of them together. "She's a girlfriend and you live together. You've shared moments and she missed all that. You said you've tried kissing her. That should make her happy and perhaps, hopeful that your relationship will be restored. But… how do your emotions play? Did you feel anything?"

Levi shook his head. Almost disappointed that his feelings betrayed him. "I guess losing feelings comes from losing memories too. I feel sorry I wasn't able to reciprocate… I knew it hurt her."

"No question on that. But don't feel bad," Hange said. Some kind of pain threatened to let loose and she is not allowing that. I am not supposed to feel something like this.

No words came out from Levi then.

Hange leaned back on the bench and raised an arm over her forehead. She couldn't get so worked up over somebody's problems, could she? "Just try to act according to your feelings. Don't feel obliged. Weigh your reasoning. We all wanted to do what's right and not hurt someone but maybe you should take it easy on yourself, too. Adjusting to this situation is not just on you. Hell, you're the one who lost it all so people around you should do their part as well. Don't feel too pressured."

But Levi was feeling the burden of not being able to give. "In that world… people see me as unemotional. Being humanity's strongest has to endure the pain of watching people die because they're not strong enough to survive. It's both luck and skills to shape your fate and the odds of surviving. I trained them but did I fail at some point because their learnings from me weren't enough? And when they died, I don't show grief. Crying is not my thing but I knew people need that comfort from me. Maybe they need to see me shed tears just to prove I am human. I'm losing people without making them realize that I…. that I somehow cared. Maybe in this world…."

"That's your call, Levi," Hange said. "To think that living today in a different world and seeing those people alive makes you want to take things a little differently, right? You want to show your caring side…"

Levi's eyes sparkled at that. Maybe…

"I guess you're a good guy, after all…" Hange smiled and sprang up from her seat. "And it's nice to meet the new Levi! Don't screw up this life. There are adjustments, there are challenges. But everything happens for a reason, yeah? At least you won't have to see people die. I'm impressed you don't even look traumatized having those memories of deaths…"

The frown on Levi's face softened. Or at least that's how Hange saw it.

"Hey… what about me? Did I die back there?" Hange asked out of the blue.

Levi hesitated for a moment. Or was it horror on his face that Hange's face suddenly fell anxious? "I… I can't remember… The last memory I got, I was recovering from the blast…"

"Oh…"

"And it was you…" Levi brushed off the fallen locks off his forehead. "Who saved me."

The moment Hange's eyes went wide and a goofy smile curved her lips after Levi said those words made him want to take it back. That expression looked victorious more than surprised.

"It made sense now that I saved you in both worlds, huh?" Hange giggled. "And maybe it made more sense that you are able to recognize me in this world. What do you think?"

"It's still beyond me."

"This will be another unsolved case of Science!" Hange chirped, then extended her hand. "So, we haven't made a proper introduction during our first. May I shake your hand now?"

"What? No." He smirked.

"Why not?! You trusted me. I saved you." She was whining and pouting like a child.

"Why need a proper introduction when I have spilled every fucking detail about my life to you?" Levi droned out. "Besides… it felt like I knew you already, because you're the same Hange."

"Am I?"

"Yes, you weirdo…" he said. "And it won't be too hard to adjust to your shenanigans."

Hange thought for a second. "Adjust? Does it mean this won't be the last time we're talking? You tell me now we're friends?"

But aren't we friends already? It never dawned on Levi that he was living in reality and Hange was a person who met him for the first time. He could not tell what to make out of this riddle but he was sure of one thing: he would definitely want a dose of Hange in the coming days. Being with her in the middle of the night, opening up his worldly problems without reservations, and sharing a drink—it felt too familiar, too comfortable being with her.

Hange collapsed back on the bench and stifled a yawn. "Okay, if you want some company or you needed someone to talk to, I'll be around. Besides, we always found each other in random places!"

Levi was hesitant about giving her his contact details. He was careful that she would misread his intentions.

"I had a huge headache coming. Maybe alcohol is real… I'm seeing silhouettes now," Hange said after a while.

"After one bottle and a half?"

"No…you have no idea!" Hange laughed. "Alcohol can't beat me. I've had like fifteen shots of vodka and a few beers earlier this evening. It's also basic knowledge that ten shots will get you buzzed. And add up one bottle that I finished just now but you snatched the other bottle and then we shared the third… so…"

"But I see it's pretty working itself on you now. At least you are still sensible. Drunk or not." He was smirking. God, he was smirking. "But slow down. It's also basic knowledge that too much consumption is bad."

"Wow, am I the first to be shown that caring side of you?"

"Shut up…"

"It's really cute! Never thought you had it in you."

"We just fucking met, Hange. No way telling me things like you knew me since birth!"

"Gut feeling. Learned that through my line of job."

There was silence again after a fit of laughter from Hange. Thoughtlessly, she lay down on the bench but not to take Levi's space. She folded her legs to fit on the remaining stretch of the seat frame.

"Oi, don't tell me you're sleeping here. Don't you have a fucking bed at home? I swear to god I'm not gonna watch over you," Levi warned.

"Of course, you won't," Hange said and closed her eyes. "And that fucking bed at home? I don't have someone to fuck so it's not too exciting to come home anyway…"

Levi took the liberty to smack a hand on her forehead. She almost jumped.

"Ouch. Wanna get laid?" Hange joked.

"Fuck yourself!" Levi snarled.

"Hah, too tired for that tonight…"

The banter ceased eventually and Hange was in the mood to close her eyes again and feel the void around her.

"Are you sleeping now? Are you fucking gonna sleep out here of all places?" Hange heard Levi from above her. "Not for comfort, are you?"

"Ten minutes," Hange said without opening her eyes. "I can sleep anywhere, just so you know. Even in public toilet."

"Tch, disgusting!"

"I think you should run that fake memory of yours to recall that maybe we as soldiers can sleep on turds if we're on the battlefield. Because we can't choose our own comfort when lives are at stake."

"You're right…" Levi agreed to that. Hange was always quick-witted to point that out.

"So, how do we deal with nightmares?"

"Huh?"

"You said we're soldiers. So there must be close calls. We've seen deaths so there must be nagging nightmares. Have you had trouble sleeping? Do you have anyone to seek for comfort?"

"I…" Levi hesitated for a moment. There was certainly a clear vision of him trudging along the hallways of the soldier's barracks. He was headed for a room that wasn't his own but something he always finds himself hanging around for a while—or most of the time. He was aware of his insomnia, the only battle he keeps losing to and sometimes when restlessness and sleep deprivation took a toll on him, he needed some time—someplace that would lull him to sleep. And he finds her there in her lamp-lit room—its always disorganized state was enough to give him a headache. He will be welcomed by her manic grin, as if her duties never sucked the energy out of her. He would slowly make his way to a chair he could already claim as his own while she would leave her paperwork behind to give him her attention.

It was their routine some nights. Some nights that never truly existed. He would listen to her stories, theories, and discoveries, and bore him to sleep. She was overflowing with knowledge and had all the energy to share, punctuate her words and gesticulate like everything she said must be absorbed. That eccentric side of her has always impressed their troop. Always impressed him. More often than not, he ended up sleeping, and yet all her rants have etched into his mind. And he was damned sure that if there was a noise he could tolerate, that would be hers.

"I probably lived on your couch…" he said nonchalantly.

His nonchalance might mean nothing but Hange's eyes flared up. "I could guess. The thing we have back there and the way you stick around with me… it's all making sense for real."

He didn't respond and Hange was now looking at the stars. Just the way she was looking up and tracing constellations and anything that is taking shape tell a lot about her character. A person who finds meaning and value in all things.

"Aren't you going home? It's getting late," she asked softly.

He looked at her with uncertainty. "What about you?"

"I just need ten more minutes and I'll go home…"

He scoffed.

Hange smiled and must have sensed his eyes on her. "You know, you don't have to stare at me…"

"I'm not staring at you, four-eyes! Shut up and doze off. I need five minutes and I'll be leaving…" Levi said.

"Suit yourself," Hange said sleepily. "Hey, I bought two sandwiches there. You may take one if you decide to walk home and get hungry on the way."

"You're too talkative for a sleepy person," Levi murmured.

"Oh, we switched our items last time, remember? I haven't touched your tea if you must know."

"The granolas were consumed already."

"Oh? Are they good?"

Levi hummed. "Yeah."

"At least I knew I don't have bad taste…" Hange said.

Maybe it was alcohol again finally winning over. Or maybe it's the consistent flutter in her chest that left her smiling while laid there. She was aware that the smile never left until her thoughts started fading and her brain shutting down. Drifting off was just too easy for a happy heart.

Or was she only lucid dreaming?

But are dreams supposed to be perceptible? She could've sworn she was half-awake for god-knows-how-long when there was a shuffling sound nearby and her head was immediately lifted off the wooden frame that served as her headrest. The feeling afterwards shifted from hard to soft, then warm. As she was propped up and angled in a much more comfortable position, Hange knew that ten minutes of shut-eye aren't enough. She wanted that moment to last a little longer, even if it was all an imagination.

And then it must be the same imagination that turned into something else as she felt fingers gently brushing something off of her face. And the frames of her eyeglasses will surely leave slight dents on her skin.

And maybe…

Maybe ten minutes aren't enough on some borrowed time.

Notes:

From this point onwards, there will be more Levihan fluffy interactions and some introduction to other characters.

I realize it's been a while when Hange and Levi met so there, I'm bringing them back together and we'll see how their companionship will evolve. I'll see about the pacing too. Long dialogues are always important to me. I really wanted this fic to cover more chapters because l still can't find an ending to this... lol!

Kudos and comments are appreciated!

Chapter 13

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Hange pressed her face against the blankets that smelled like lavender and peppermint oils. She was in her room—on her bed—remembering the scent that wafted through her nose because she had spilled a bottle of essential oils last week all over the sheets. The scent lingered until today.

Her bed in Moblit's apartment. Hold on…

Was she home?

Her eyes shot up to confirm that her memory of last night—moments at the pub, strangers paying for unlimited drinks, Yelena knocked out and Onyankopon getting there—happened. Of course, they happened. That moment of clarity was not just an illusion.

But Levi Ackerman at the park? Is that for real?

"What the fuck?" Hange sat up on her bed and rubbed her eyes. She groped around the side table where her eyeglasses sat and then, her phone. "But… did I just sleep at the park? Ten minutes… I knew I had to go home in ten minutes… but I don't remember walking home or calling a cab…"

Maybe that part was a dream. Fuck, how drunk did she get?

Her phone buzzed, startling her from her daze. She drowsily took it off the bedside table and stared at a dozen messages. Three from Yelena, one from Onyankopon, and quite a lot from an unregistered number.

The latest one being the unregistered number.

Are you dead?

"What?" Hange had to read twice. She checked the inbox and saw a bunch of messages that were sent in strange time intervals. She swiped up until she reached the topmost message—the very first one.

So one hour is the new ten minutes.

You fucking drooled on my hoodie.

I thought of throwing you into a pool but there's no one around so I ended up bringing you home.

Hange's eyes were big, the glare from the phone emphasized her brown orbs, and then huffed a breathless "oh".

Almost got into trouble with some cops, thinking I murdered you.

Your friend called like three times so I had to answer. He offered to pick you up but I just asked him for the address.

Your ass was fucking heavy and you slept like the dead.

I took two sandwiches. You offered only one but I think I deserved two considering I took your ass home. On top of that, I have to hide my face all the time.

I'm home in case you're wondering. And don't drink too much again.

Hange was stalled for a minute, thinking of a million responses she can think of within a second. Why can't it just be sent in one whole message? But she settled for something friendlier and chill or something she had no time giving a damn with.

So I wasn't dreaming, huh? You didn't have to do that but thanks. Waking up in my own bed got me confused for a second though.

She added, I drooled on your hoodie? Oh… for a sec I thought I was sleeping on your lap. ;)

She slid off the covers and clambered out of bed. Her phone buzzed again.

Finally, you're up. Do you have any idea what time it is? And why the hell would I allow someone's big head to weigh on my lap?

Hange saw the time on her phone. It was definitely late but her body had the right to oversleep.

It's not that late and I usually wake up around this time after a drunken night. How did you get my number?

I asked your assistant.

Assistant? Who? Moblit? Like there was anybody else. Hange paused for a while, trying to figure out whether someone was pulling pranks on her. While it was true that she only knew Levi after his comatose, his quick response to messages was a little uncharacteristic-unrealistic. She deemed it was not necessary to reply, as she had a few things on her head that she didn't want to entertain first thing in the morning. Hell, the dreaded hangover was making its way down to her system.

She pocketed her phone and noticed she was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday. To hell with hygiene.

Like most people, mornings should be spent lazily, unmoving, and maybe settle for a few more hours buried under the blankets. After all, Hange experienced her best sleep in months and it wouldn't hurt to relish this moment. The feeling like her mind has nothing to process and nothing to worry about felt like a million bucks.

But sometimes, bowel movements can get worse than alarm clocks and she had no way to control that. She stumbled from the blanket that got tangled around her ankles and crawled a few feet just to reach the bathroom door. She was a mess in the mornings and thank god not even Moblit knew that side of her. And sitting on the toilet while brushing her teeth was another set of her weird habits that she'd not let anyone know.

The phone buzzed again and she felt the vibration down her legs. As the pulsation took longer—tickling her skin under the fabric of her bottoms, she could tell that it was a call.

Someone was calling her in between brushing and shitting.

Mouthing her toothbrush and reaching for the phone in her pocket, she answered the call without looking at the caller ID.

"Oi four-eyes, what's taking you so long to answer?" That voice now.

"L-Levi?" She spat out the foam in her mouth. And she was sure of her guess. Who else would call her four-eyes anyway?

"You aren't responding anymore." He had a demanding tone. For a CEO, he would really sound that way.

"Wh-what?" Hange was blank for a while. Or maybe that was a leftover morning daze.

"We are texting a while back and you didn't respond. Are you still fucking drunk?"

"I'm…" Hange tried to restart the gears in her head. She shut her eyes before bursting, "If you'll excuse me for a while, I'm taking a long dump here."

There was a whistle from the other line. And maybe Hange could imagine Levi was having the same smirk from last night. She already regretted her bluntness. "So, was it a pleasant one?"

"I was halfway there and it went back up because of your damn call!" Hange revealed.

"Oh… I see. Apologies for delaying your shit. You may go back to your internal meditation and try not to splash everywhere with your huge crap."

This time, Hange was fully awake. Fully awake to ponder if she was only hearing things that Levi Ackerman was making shit jokes on her. He texted first thing, and then called. Levi initiating a call early in the morning was unexpected.

"Four-eyes, you still there? Or do you need more laxatives?"

"I've had enough fiber in my body to aid my smooth excretion. B-but… why are you calling again?" Hange asked.

"Nothing much. Just want to know if you're alive."

"I am, thanks to you. But you shouldn't have bothered bringing me home… like… hey, did you seriously have to carry me?"

She would have been mindful. Her thoughts flew over to images of Levi carrying her unconscious body. Over his shoulders? A piggyback ride? Bridal style?

"No, I dragged your body."

She groaned. The joke was too evident. She didn't have scrapes or bruises waking up.

"Does it matter?"

"No. I hope my heavy ass didn't give you post muscle pains," Hange said, smiling.

"You weighed nothing at all."

"Yeah? And you said my ass is heavy that you need two sandwiches."

There was a chuckle. "It's fine. I know you were too drunk to acknowledge things last night so I just want to say thank you for the conversation. I'll make up for the sandwiches next time."

Hange's eyes were big. "Next…time?"

"You had the time, right?"

"Y-yeah. Of course."

"Good. See you around."

There is no need for pleasantries or extended conversations. Hange listened to the sounds of a beeping dial tone as Levi ended his call. It didn't even last for two minutes but it was a call too satisfying to her ear. If Hange knew better, it was satisfying enough to brighten up her mood all day.

But she could have said more. Could have prolonged the conversation so they can keep going. However, her chattiness didn't work the way it used to. Talking to Levi made her choose words, be a little conscious, and more reserved. Except for telling him that she was royally seated on the toilet though.

It took a while to sink in and she admitted losing to alcohol last night. For the life of her, she can teach her brain motors to function like they were told to or as if instinctively controlled. Ten minutes shouldn't have gone beyond that for Levi to be compelled to bring her home. Of all people!

The idea of her being carried over his shoulders or bridal-style has played enough times in her head.

She was surprised to see Moblit in the kitchen as she got out of her room. By this time, he should be in his pizzeria but what made him stay longer is anybody's guess. It might be a good time, she thought. Moblit would have met Levi last night, wouldn't he?

"Closed business for today?" Hange asked as she made her way to the dining table and slid on a seat. "That's new."

"I was waiting for you to wake up," Moblit said. Some seriousness in his tone was unusual. "I had Franz and Hannah taking over."

"It's late. You used to be pulling my blankets so I'd fall on the floor. What stopped you this time?"

"Levi Ackerman brought you home last night. Are you aware?" Moblit told her straightforwardly. His features darkened like he was telling a horror story.

"I wasn't aware until he called," Hange said casually as she reached for a cup of coffee. "He called early in the morning to check if I was still alive… hah, that shorty."

Moblit's expression from horror turned sour. The displeased face was enough for Hange to enjoy his bitterness and guilt of doubting her narrative days ago.

"Is that the only reason why you're still stalled around so you could get the juiciest details?" Hange eyed him playfully. "So, do you believe me now?"

"Did you two just…"

"If you are thinking we did a little something last night…well…"

"No, you didn't…" Moblit leaned closer to her with undeniable interest.

Hange laughed out loud. "Relax… we just talked. It's a little hearty talk and I don't need to tell you all about it."

"But you were knocked out and…."

"Yeah, I was drunk. Finally huh? I had quite a night with Yelena and Onyankopon. We had lots of drinks and got a little carried away so…"

"And where's Levi in that?"

"He…" Hange paused and tried to give a more convincing answer. "He virtually came out of nowhere… I sent Yelena and Onyankopon home and I killed a little more time at Hermina Park. I bought more drinks and that's when he showed up."

"Sounds like a cliché romance flick with a convenient plot of serendipity."

"It may really look that way because, for a while, I thought it was just my drunken self in the grand scheme of things," Hange took a sip from her cup. "Turns out he's really out there to reflect on a lot of things…"

"Oh," Moblit was nodding. "You know, when he answered your phone and told me he's Levi Ackerman, I was about to tell him to fuck off because I thought it was one of your pranks…"

"My drunken mind wouldn't be too functional to devise a creative prank," Hange reasoned. "So…how did you react when he showed up at your door with my sleeping form safely cradled in his arms?"

"Cradled? I'm not even drunk to remember you are crumpled on the threshold. More convincing to say he dragged you all the way home and it was me who carried you into your room," Moblit said, stifling a laugh.

"W-what?" Hange's shoulders dropped disbelievingly.

"But… he's nice. I just find it odd that he was dressed too casually unlike the sleek-looking guy I see in the magazines. Makes him more approachable that way…"

"Who would've thought, right?"

"I was also star-struck."

"You had that in you?" Hange's smile widened. "Tell me, he's better-looking in person huh?"

"If it's not for the height…"

"Hey, Levi's way more attractive being short. It gives him more character."

Moblit didn't respond after that. He was on to something deeper that Hange had to snap her fingers in front of his face. "Hey, you good?"

"Well…" Moblit's confused look went back. "Have you ever told Levi about me?"

"I… I remembered telling him I lived in my friend's house. If that counts…"

"No, my name. Have you mentioned my name to him?"

"Not that I remembered." Hange thought for a while. "No. I think I never mentioned you to him just yet."

"This is weird…" Moblit said. "You're right about him recognizing names and faces he never met before. When I greeted him at the door last night, he called me by my name. At first, I also thought he saw my name when he answered your phone but I knew my registered ID there was not 'Moblit'."

"Oh…" The revelation was enough to burn her tongue while drinking her coffee.

"So am I also a part of his nonexistent world?"

Hange's response deadened to a whisper. "Ridiculous…"

It's been a while since Petra saw that smile.

Under the golden hour that morning, Levi's presence by the poolside was a recurring view every day. To tell it was Levi's favorite area of the penthouse was an understatement. Earlier, he was pacing back and forth for minutes, phone in his hand. Re-learning how to use a smartphone was an easy task and Levi adapted too quickly that he managed to put a lock code in.

Privacy.

That was never his thing, Petra thought. Her memory of taking half possession of Levi's phones—be it personal, for work, some spares—was a privilege on its own. Levi doesn't keep secrets that he even lets her navigate through his messages and pictures. Their relationship had been very transparent that Petra may opt to accompany him during business events, client meetings, and dinners with potential business partners. Sometimes, she even found herself tagging along during casual meetings that involve an estate stroll, site inspections, or simply a recreational activity to boost clients' trust and partnership. If Zeke was around, Petra was already sure that Levi will be VIP-lounging at car races and equestrian events.

She was even aware of his admirers. Fancy cards sent over Levi's office, invitations disguised as lunch meetings, tin cans of chocolates, or biscuits that ended up being shared around the flush offices in their company have never been an issue. Petra's faith was built over time when Levi once openly mentioned a business tycoon's daughter taking interest in him. She couldn't blame it on his charisma when in fact, she had a fair share of admirers on her end, too. But having Levi as a boyfriend was too convenient for being high-profiled. Way too perfect that not once did he give her a headache. The minor fights were short-lived—settled in hours, not even days. The major ones? Petra was sure enough that they haven't had one. Most of the time, she initiates the fight but Levi wouldn't mimic the same attitude. He was communicative and well-reasoned enough to fix the root of the problem, like he was in charge of keeping their relationship healthy. It was no question since a CEO does it too with his company. Eventually, the only petty fights they have to deal with range from Petra's wardrobe choices to Levi's missed dinner dates.

If there was a contest for a perfect boyfriend, Levi would be lined up as one but Petra wasn't one for a perfect relationship. It was too good to be true that she doubts about the circumstances to cause some nuances in proper time.

And it happened just as she feared. To add more salt to the wound, she's the sole reason for that.

She was a good distance away, her eyes following Levi's movements for an hour already but careful enough not to get noticed. Through the clear glass barriers of the living room, she was content just watching him. The small grin on his face when he put his mouth on the receiver could tell a lot of things. The smile could get bigger, wider… and then when he turned his back around, she could've wished she was in a better position to see that expression. To read something that bothers her until now. That expression was very dear and familiar to her because Levi's smile was a rarity. He was never a smiling person, and Petra was lucky enough that she can pull that curve out of him, a triumphant attempt at breaking the most straight-faced person in the world. That lovely grin on his face was only meant for her. Just her.

Seeing him like this was worrying. It tugs a little pain and her mind processed a thousand things at once. Could there be another person to pry that smile out of him?

Zeke? Mikasa? Erwin? There are only a few people whom she can think of who had limited interactions after he woke up but none of the three rang in her logical mind that they can get him in a pleasant mood the way she could.

It didn't even help that he refused to kiss her yesterday at the pool. They were close enough that he took the first move, only to pull away almost immediately.

Or last night that he went missing again.

Petra suggested sharing a room with him—or sleeping in his room together this time. It doesn't have to be intimate. She only needs a cuddle. Or she needed his warmth that he was beside her and very much alive.

Levi let her in his room anyway. No hugs, no kisses, only silence. When Petra asked him if he was okay, his slow nod seemed forced, seemed tight. They shared the bed like another person was taking the space between them, their turned backs are enough to build the tension that was too suffocating and Levi had to leave his room in the middle of the night.

There was stinging under the rims of Petra's eyes as Levi finished the brief call. His expression was unreadable this time, but she could spot the leftover smirk for a second.

"Levi…" Petra stopped him as he entered the living room.

"Petra."

"Where… where were you last night?" Petra's tone was a little high-pitched, but she was admirably calm albeit the uneasiness and paranoia that accompanied her mood. There was no use to beat around the bush. "I found you out of the bed last night. I waited and you never came back."

"I went out for a midnight stroll…" Levi said nonchalantly.

"You don't usually go for a midnight stroll…" Petra said.

"But I just did. Went for a little drink, too…"

Petra was slightly losing it. "Alcohol is bad for someone on medications. Didn't Zeke warn you?"

"It's not too much and I didn't get drunk."

"Alcohol did that to you," Petra said pointedly. "Alcohol changed you. Everything about you."

No. You breaking my heart changed it. "I just feel like I need some midnight air…"

"Really? There's such a thing as midnight air? You could've stayed at the poolside. The air's much cooler at a higher place if that's what you want to feel," she scoffed. "And you have a nice selection of liquor back there. So you actually settled for something cheap?"

Levi could hardly fathom her annoyance. "I could choose wherever I want to go and whatever I want to drink, Petra. I just went out for the heck of it and…"

"Was it because you don't want me sleeping beside you?"

Levi looked away like there was truth to that.

"Do you still feel strange around me?"

"I'm sorry…" Levi said. "I'd feel much more comfortable when no one's beside me. For now."

"You should've just told me then and said no. Don't make me feel like a touch-starved fool craving for your company."

But you were insistent. Levi's sunny mood earlier died down and it's almost pathetic to see. Petra tried to contain herself.

"I'm sorry. My bad…" she rolled her eyes. "Maybe I was just a little expectant. Yesterday though, I thought we were already okay. We tried to—well…and we never talked about it."

"Give me more time," Levi said coldly. "I'm still trying to process things. I only have until today to explore myself, remember?" Starting tomorrow, he will be at the mercy of Zeke's therapy sessions.

"Okay," Petra breathed. She took a step forward, grabbed Levi by his cheeks, and kissed him at the corner of his mouth. It was too sudden that Levi hadn't had the time to react nor pull back. "Next time you'll initiate the gesture, I hope nothing will stop you halfway…"

Levi remained planted on his feet and said nothing. Petra thumbed his bottom lip and leaned in to kiss him again. Her mouth was warm against him, dancing in slow motions that tell they should end up in bed. But Levi immediately felt the discomfort of intimacy. He put his hands on her shoulders and gave a slight push.

"Petra, please…"

Petra breathed. "I'm sorry. I just missed you... everything about us."

Levi stepped back, giving himself a safe distance.

Petra rubbed her arms uneasily. "It's just... I might need to leave you for a few days. Errands. Dad needs some help in his new ventures at Trost and he needed me there being his only daughter. You probably didn't remember but both of us used to visit my family back then. But... I'd doubt if you ever want to join me today. They actually feel bad that I acted inappropriately during your proposal and felt sorry for you. I think it's time I discuss what went after... and... maybe tell them about your current condition. I don't want to shock them just yet."

"It's okay. You can tell them everything," Levi said. Like there are better things to say.

"Can you fend for yourself? And Zeke will be checking out on you starting tomorrow." Petra's tone was casual but no matter how hard she tried to hide it, Levi can spot the hurt.

"I'd have Mikasa around. She'll come if I needed her," Levi clipped.

"Okay," Petra said. "You have plenty of time to explore and be on your own and maybe, I was just a distraction to hinder your healing process. I'd be gone long enough for you to miss me and I hope by that time, you will be open for conversation." Petra held her right hand in front of him. It took a while for Levi to notice the glimmer of a diamond ring on her finger. "You're supposed to slip this into my finger but I was an idiot that night. I accept this now."

"What does it mean?" Levi grimaced in confusion.

"No matter how we look at it, you bought this ring for me and I was meant to wear it. I was speechless that night and ran away and regretted it. So, I am saying yes now. You only need an answer from me to settle this, right?"

"B-but it doesn't work like that, Petra…" Levi protested, a surge of panic washing over him.

"What does?" Petra raised her voice. "Because you don't remember me?"

What is wrong with you? Levi gripped his phone tightly.

"What are you afraid of?" Petra asked.