WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

43. Leon Kennedy x OC 5

Bound to be Yours

Pseudoqueen

Summary:

You're a mercenary sent by your boss to retrieve a powerful serum from a former laboratory now thought to be abandoned. You're under orders to bring it back at all costs and to kill anyone who gets in your way. The mission becomes difficult when hindering you is a handsome D.S.O. agent who has no intention of giving up.

The circumstances will then lead you to face a long and difficult journey together, in which you will have to learn to put up with each other... and with your true feelings.

Notes:

i'm back with another leon fic. this time, though, it's gonna be a lot longer and a lot sadder and depressing, but if you read the tags you kinda already know.

i'm thinking of updating this weekly, but if i can update sooner i will.

i apologize for any potential mistake but english is not my first language.

enjoy the first chapter, i really hope you like it. happy reading 3

Chapter 1: A Fucking Problem

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Don't get yourself killed, pumpkin." Johnny tells you, patting your shoulder lightly.

"You know me," you smile warmly, "I'm hard to take out."

He chuckles and hums in agreement, before exiting the armory and leaving you alone to contemplate the hundreds of weapons before you. You choose the usual ones – two pistols and a hunting knife – before exiting and heading for the helicopter landing zone.

You have been assigned another job. This time the loot to be retrieved is a serum worth a lot of money, apparently. You haven't asked many questions about it. You don't care what it's for; the important thing is the money you'll make after you recover it. The best buyer will know what to do with it.

The serum was developed by a major pharmaceutical company whose name you don't remember. All you know is that a scandal had broken out after one of their experiments went wrong and somehow got into the town's water supply, making hundreds of people sick and even killing some. The victims sued the shit out of them, and they were forced to shut everything down for good.

Or so people think.

They just moved to a laboratory believed to have been abandoned for decades across the border with Canada. In short, they have given themselves a fresh start in another country to continue with their borderline-legal experiments. And you're going there to bring one of those experiments back to the dear old United States.

You get into the helicopter and prepare for the trip. You never talk, you and the pilot. Every time you get in, he hands you the headset, and the rest of the trip you spend in silence. It's an unspoken agreement between you. You made pointless small talk the first time you had to take the helicopter for one of your missions, and it was so forced and awkward that you never talked from then on. You just enjoy each other's company in total silence.

It was different before, though. You have been doing this work for several years now. When you were a newbie, you were never assigned to missions alone. You never really liked working with others, even when you were still inexperienced. The one person you always got along really well with and looked forward to working with was Johnny.

He's like a father figure to you. He was the one who taught you the secrets of the trade. He was there when you struggled to keep up with your training, when you couldn't hit the target at the range, and even when you had a panic attack the first time you had to kill someone.

"You have to close your heart, pumpkin. You'll see that with time it gets easier." he told you, as tears streamed down your face and clouded your eyes, making it harder to look at the blood that painted your guilty hands.

Ending a life is never easy. The only thing that consoles you is that – usually – the people you kill are just as rotten as you are.

This is not the life you wrote about in your secret diary when you were a little girl. You don't even have a cool backstory like comic book villains to justify the terrible person you've become.

It just… happened.

You took an illegal job once, realized you weren't that bad, and got deeper into this messed up world until you got to where you are today; one of the most sought-after mercenaries for high-level missions.

You often wish you could run away and start over, but then you realize that this is the only thing you're really good at, and that your soul is so corroded that there's no longer a place for you amongst normal people.

The pilot raises his hand and starts counting down. You sigh, before putting on the parachute. You check that your guns are loaded and open the hatch when the helicopter is stationary in mid-air.

You never liked this part. You're not afraid of many things, but you've never been a big fan of heights.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes before jumping. Your heart races and your hands shake as you pull on the string to open the parachute. You go down slowly for a few minutes until you touch the ground. You take it all off and hide it behind a tree.

You take the radio from your jacket pocket and turn it on, looking for the right frequency. "I landed. I'm about to enter the laboratory." you say.

"Good," a male voice replies. Michael Raven, the mastermind behind your every mission and the most unsufferable man you've ever stumbled upon, also known as your boss. You hate the bastard, but the jobs he offers pay well, so you don't complain. "Are there other people?"

You look around briefly. The place really looks like it has been abandoned for decades, you almost find it hard to believe that the laboratory inside is still functional. "Not on the outside."

"If you find someone, kill them. And bring me that serum."

"What's the magic word?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" he replies, annoyed.

"The magic word. Starts with P and ends in Lease. You know, you should use it once in a while."

Raven doesn't answer, and after a few seconds you hear the static sound of the radio disconnecting. You chuckle softly before putting it away.

You love to mess with the son of a bitch, even if he's one of the most dangerous people you've had the misfortune to meet, you're well aware that as long as you keep filling his pockets with money he'll deal with your shit, so you just have a little fun.

Going in through the main entrance is like going into the wolf's den. You head towards the back of the building to look for another way in. You keep looking around for some sign of other people, and for a moment you think that Raven got screwed and sent you on a wild goose chase and that this really is simply a laboratory that has been abandoned for years.

When you reach the back, you notice a broken window. It's the only way in, and even if it's on the first floor, it's too high up for you to climb. You look around for something and notice an old trash can. You sigh and drag it towards the wall, shaking it a few times to make sure it's stable.

"You better not make me fall on my ass." you say, climbing slowly and carefully.

You manage to reach the window and jump down. Jumping from high points without hurting your ankles and knees has been one of the hardest things to learn in your training.

When you stand up, you take a look inside the laboratory and, witnessing the macabre scene in front of you, you take out your gun.

"What the fuck." you say, looking at the slaughtered bodies of dozens of people wearing white lab coats. If before you had any doubts that you were in the wrong place, the carnage ahead of you has confirmed that you're exactly where you need to be.

You walk slowly, the sound of broken glass under your boots breaks the eerie silence that hovers in the room.

The corridor lights flicker. You keep your gun pointed in front of you as you round the corner, following the blood trails.

Your breathing stops for a second as you feel something cold press against your head. It has happened to you several times now that you know exactly what it is. You have a fucking gun to your head.

"Where do you think you're going?" a male voice says behind you.

You put your hands up and holster your gun. "I'm taking a walk, nothing much."

The man laughs. His hoarse, slimy laugh makes your nose turn up. "Sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but I really think it's the last one you'll ever take."

You sigh, before hitting his arm with your elbow, the gun fires the shot that was meant for your head. You turn towards him, positioning yourself by his side. You pin his arm while with the other hand you steal his gun and hit him over the head with it. The man grunts and falls to his knees, his temple starting to bleed.

"I think I'll finish my walk." you say, before pointing his own gun at his head and firing a shot. Blood splatters on the wall and on your clothes. The man falls to the ground with a thud, and you throw his gun at him, snatching yours from its holster.

"That was easy." you mutter.

You continue walking down the corridor and reach the source of the blood trails that lead you into a strangely empty room except for a computer. A man is lying helpless on the ground. You observe him carefully.

"You came all this way with a bullet in the stomach. What did you want to hide?" you ask, well aware that you have to find the answer for yourself.

You press a button on the keyboard of the computer and the screen lights up. A recorded voice fills the silence, making you jump slightly. "Enter identification code."

You sigh, before moving your gaze back to the man at your feet. You kneel next to him and start searching his pockets. In the pocket of his coat, you find a badge with his identification code written on it. You smile, looking at his foggy open eyes.

"If you wanted to hide something, coming to die here wasn't a great idea, was it?"

You put yourself back in front of the computer, typing in the numbers written on the badge.

"Identification code recognized. Welcome back, Dr. Tucker." the voice announces.

You open all the kept secret files in search of something that will lead you to your goal, until you find a digital blueprint of the building with a flashing red dot in the center of the janitor's room on the east side of the third floor. You frown, before realizing that's exactly where the serum tubes must be.

"What's the point of pretending that's an actual janitor's room if you put a fucking flashing red dot in the middle of it? Not a very smart move." you say out loud.

You close the files and shut down the computer, before making sure you have the doctor's badge with you.

"Thank you, Dr Tucker." you say, looking once more at the man.

You make your way to the stairs, ready to go to the third floor and end the mission. When you get to the second-floor hallway, you hear voices in the distance. You sigh in frustration, before slowly walking over to see what's going on. As you get closer, the voices are replaced by gunshots and grunts. You're a few steps from the door and are forced to back away as a man dressed exactly like the one you killed minutes ago is thrown out, dead. You look at him for a moment, baffled.

You look through the door, making sure nobody can see you. A man is fighting alone against three people. His movements are fluid and calculated. You see him draw his knife and strike a man in his neck and leaning against him as he kicks another. The three try to react, but the man foresees their every move and leaves them no room for attack. The guy is built like a tank and is clearly stronger and more experienced than those fuckers, including the piece of trash who tried to kill you before.

"Fuck." you whisper as you walk away slowly towards the stairs again. You lean against the wall, sighing. "This guy is going to be a fucking problem."

Notes:

uuhhh oooohhh who's it gonna beee? y'all already know it's ya favorite boi.

i really hope you enjoyed this first chapter enough that it'll make you check for updates. let me know what you think. i have great ideas for this fic so stick with me pls.

see ya!

Chapter 2: A Knight in Shining Armor

Summary:

As you try to get to the serum, you come face to face for the first time with the mysterious man.

Notes:

hello, it's me again.

hope you enjoyed the first chapter and hope you enjoy this one as well. Sorry for any mistake.

happy reading.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Each floor has stairs on the other side of the hallway, so in order to reach the third floor and retrieve that damn serum you have to go through the entire second floor and inevitably be seen by the man who just killed four people without even breaking a sweat. You know you can stand up to him, sure more than those cheap thieves swarming all over the building; however, you know it would not be an easy fight and you're not that dumb to go up against him.

You sigh before returning to the first floor again and making room among the dozens of bodies lying on the floor. The smell of blood permeates the air and its crimson color paints the once-white walls. There was a time when the pungent smell and gruesome sight would have made you sick to your stomach. Now, you make your way through the corpses as if it were an obstacle course, unfazed by their wide, foggy eyes watching you step over them. You've seen so many of those eyes; death takes away every trace of color leaving behind a trail of gray.

You're not dead yet, but it has taken the colors away from you, too.

You hear voices from outside. You approach the front door, now wide open, and observe the situation. Two men walk side by side wielding shotguns. They walk slowly, alert.

"Fuck, man, I don't know if I wanna do this anymore." one of them says. You can feel the fear in his voice. "Have you heard what Tim said? That dude is like a fucking war machine."

"Goddamnit Jackson, stop whining like a fucking baby. He's just a guy, even he can't survive one of these." he says, jiggling the shotgun and sniggering. His friend sighs and shakes his head, not easily swayed by the other one's confidence.

You had to face many men like the second guy. Men who thought they were invincible just because they clutched a powerful weapon only to fall as easily as dominoes as soon as they dealt with you. And this guy is no different. You can bet that their entire group is made up of men with massive egos who constantly argue about who has the biggest dick and with enough money to be able to afford to buy the best arsenal on the market, but who don't have enough potential to make the most of it. They shoot wildly like they're trying to win a stuffed animal at the local fair, and when they realize that against someone like you – or someone like the second-floor guy – it takes a lot more than a thousand-dollar weapon if you have absolutely no fucking idea how to use it properly, they inevitably shit their pants. Like the first dude.

You've been working in this field long enough to know that the people you need to be afraid of are the ones who don't waste time telling you how strong they are.

You must make it to the third floor at all costs, and for now your plan is to get there from the outside. The two men in front of you are in your way, so they need to be put down. You sneak up on them, pulling your knife out of its holster. You stand behind the second guy and put a hand over his mouth before slitting his throat. The first guy turns and gasps, raising his shotgun at you. You punch him in the throat, forcing him to back away. He drops the shotgun when he instinctively puts his hands on his neck to try to ease the pain and catch the breath you took away from him. He falls to the floor with a thud, his chest rises and falls erratically, his hands massaging his throat. You approach him holding the knife still stained with the blood of the man who only a few minutes before had told him not to worry, that he would be safe with his weapon in his hands.

He would like to tell you something, he would like to beg you to spare him. He'd tell you that he's not like his friend, nor like the other man who put a gun to your head. He would tell you that he wants to go home.

But he can't speak, because you took away his words. You took away his only chance to get out of this alive. Then he tries with his eyes. He pleads with you with his fear-filled gaze.

And you hesitate for a second. Just for a second, his silent request almost makes its way inside you. They usually don't have time to react to their imminent death, and when they do, they spit some insult looking at you like you're scum. This never happens, and it catches you off guard.

But then you remember it's either him or you. That, probably, if you let him go, he would alert his team and you would have dozens of heavily armed men on your tail in no time. Or he'd shoot you in the back as soon as he picks up his shotgun from the ground.

You do it to survive, you do it because you have no other choice. That's what you tell yourself, at least. The one thing you do know is that it's easier when you don't know anything about them. You don't care what story they have to tell, what their favorite movie is, or how much sugar they put in their coffee. You don't want to know how human these people are, or you would no longer be able to do your job.

You close your heart, just as Johnny taught you.

You stab him in the stomach, and his pleading eyes close, giving you the relief that you no longer have to look at them. You stand up and take a deep breath before looking for ways to recover that damned serum and get out of this hellish place as soon as possible.

You go around the building looking for another way in. But other than the broken window you first entered through, there is no other way to reach the third floor from the outside.

"No fire escape ladder? Really? So much for safety." you mutter.

You go back inside again and head for the elevators. An automated voice alerts you that you need to use your badge in order to take the elevator. You remember the doctor's badge stowed safely in your pocket, and for a moment you think about it, but a running elevator would make too much noise and you can't risk having dozens of guns pointed at you as soon as the doors open.

You sigh, unsure of how you're going to get out of here with that serum without being seen. But you know you have a chance. The men are only aware of the guy with dark-blond hair and vice versa. None of them know of your presence, and those who have seen you can no longer talk.

You decide to try again with the stairs. You assume that they will all be on the higher floors by now. Who would expect that the star of the whole laboratory is stored on such a low floor? Above all, who would ever imagine that it's in the janitor's room? You would never have figured it out either if some guy hadn't decided to die trying to hide the information at all costs.

You increase your pace to reach the stairs to go up and make your way to the room. But your steps are abruptly interrupted by a voice behind you.

"Hey!" A man calls out to you.

You close your eyes and sigh in annoyance. Your hand reaches down for the holstered gun on your thigh, but you immediately stop as soon as you hear the man's words. "Do you need help?"

You freeze. You know that any member of the idiot team would have already tried to kill you. So, unless a new character has become part of the story, there is only one possible answer.

You've seen him fight; you know that if you took your gun, he would shoot you before you could even turn around to face him. The only thing to do is to pretend.

You turn around slowly. The man looks at you carefully with a reassuring expression. Dark-blond hair frames his face. You hadn't been able to get a good look at him as he was getting rid of four armed men by himself. He's taller than you, probably about 5'10". He has a lean, toned body; his brown T-shirt fits tightly highlighting his muscles. He's pretty attractive, you think.

But there is not much time to dwell on it. You look at him frightened, before running for the stairs.

"No, wait!" he shouts, running after you.

You reach the second floor and hide behind a wall and pull out your knife, waiting for him to catch up with you.

He's here for a good cause, probably to prevent people like you and the other assholes from stealing a dangerous bioweapon. You could tell by his face his offer to help was sincere. You feel a little guilty using his good-heartedness as a weapon, but if he wants to be a hero who are you to stop him?

You pretended to be scared because you knew that taking him by surprise was the only way you could get an advantage over him, and you also knew that seeing a damsel in distress, he wouldn't resist the urge to play the knight in shining armor trying to shield you from the dragon's hot flames.

You hear his slow steps and his heavy breathing. He stops and sighs. "Why does this happen every fucking time?" he mutters. You frown, curious to know when another person has run away from him in fear despite him wanting to help.

He clears his throat. "My name is Leon. I didn't mean to scare you; I just want to make sure you're okay." he says, loudly so you can hear him.

You almost smile at his naivety. His immense willingness to help must have clouded his vision, as he didn't seem to notice the various weapons on your body when he looked at you.

Leon goes back to searching for you, looking around frantically. Your fingers grip the knife still covered in your other enemies' blood.

When he finally gets close to you, you attack him. Leon is taken aback and gasps. He manages to parry the blow, but the knife slices through his arm, prompting a grunt from him. You continue to attack taking advantage of his momentary weakness. Leon defends himself, still uncertain how to react. He blocks your every blow, making sure he doesn't hurt you in the process. But when after a few seconds he realizes he's up against someone who knows how to fight, he starts to fight back. His blows are hard and powerful, you know they will leave you with bruises.

Your knife grazes his body several times, until he manages to disarm you with a kick. You watch your weapon drop across the hall. You turn back to him, kicking at his face. Leon grabs your leg, throwing off your balance.

"Looks like you don't need to be saved." he tells you sarcastically, a hint of bitterness in his tone.

"Sorry to ruin your plans." you answer, freeing yourself from his grip.

Your breathing starts to get heavy and your movements sloppy. Your arms ache and your legs shake, but you keep attacking with all your grit. But your tiredness prevails, and Leon manages to immobilize you. His arm is wrapped around your body, you feel his warmth and his chest rise and fall against your back. With his other hand he grips his knife, now leaning against your throat.

"Who are you?" he asks hoarsely and not very nicely, but you can't really blame him for it.

"None of your business." you hiss.

"Believe me, it is." he says, annoyed.

You look at the shadow of your bodies in front of you and realize that directly behind you is a window. It's risky, because by the way he's wrapped around your body there's a big chance he could take you down with him, but you see no other way out.

"I'm just here to do my job, Leon." you say in a low voice, making sure you put emphasis on his name. You're just buying some time to take him by surprise once again.

"So am I." he snaps back.

"Is your job chasing after women?" you tease.

He snorts. "No, my job is to stop you from taking that serum. Because that's why you're here like the other assholes, aren't you?"

"Oh, you're shrewd," Leon is intent on looking at your face, you return his gaze. You place your foot on the wall in front of you. "But you can't stop me." you say, leveraging your foot and pushing towards Leon who releases his grip on your body and steps back, trying to regain his balance. You turn to him and with a grunt you kick him, pushing him against the window which breaks on contact with his body, and he falls off.

You run across the hall, picking up the knife that Leon kicked out of your hands in the scuffle. Then you go back to the window and look down. Shattered glass is scattered all over the area below you, but there's no sign of Leon.

"What is he, a fucking cat?" you say to yourself with frustration.

You sigh and run towards the stairs, determined to reach the serum before the handsome man with nine lives gets ready to put a spoke in your wheels once again.

Notes:

here we go! first meeting, kinda intense i guess.
things are gonna get nasty (and juicy, but you'll have to wait a few chapters for that).

hope you enjoyed! thanks for the kudos and the lovely comments, let me know what you think of this one too.

see ya.

Chapter 3: Assuming We Survive

Summary:

You are finally close to your goal, but something goes wrong and you find yourself creating an unexpected and short-lived alliance with someone you tried to kill.

Notes:

i'm back again with chapter three.

enjoy. :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Leon groans in pain as soon as he lands on the hard, sandy ground beneath him. He gets up slowly, looks at the window briefly, and then disappears before your gun pops out ready to unload a full magazine on him.

He re-enters the building again, confused and in pain. He looks at the cut on his arm caused by your knife and grimaces as he inhales sharply. When he fought four men at the same time, he struggled less than when facing you. You are experienced, strong, extremely determined. He knows it won't be a piece of cake to take the serum away from this place and prevent it from getting into the wrong hands, especially if those hands are yours.

He feels like an idiot. He sighs as thoughts cloud his head. His desire to help others always overrides everything, and every time it ends up turning against him. He wonders when people will stop taking advantage of him, and if he will ever learn not to be pushed around.

He really thought you needed help. And when you turned to him with terror in your eyes, he didn't think for a second about running after you to reassure you and tell you that he's not the enemy.

But it turns out he actually is.

He was told he has a big heart once, that more people should be like him. But having a big heart doesn't save you when they attack you from behind because you weren't careful. Major Krauser's words resonate in his brain every time he lets his guard down.

And he often thinks that maybe he was right.

He distractedly makes his way through the multitude of corpses lying on the ground and stumbles over one of them. "Shit," he curses. "I'm sorry." he says sincerely.

He thinks apologizing is the least he can do, since he was too late and couldn't save them. He knows there was nothing he could have done, that when he got sent here these people were already dead. But in his heart, he feels guilty, and he can't help it.

His eyebrows furrow as he notices the man clutching something. Leon kneels down and purses his lips before touching the poor guy's stiff, cold hand. He pulls out a blue card. Numbers are engraved on it, along with the doctor's name and a larger inscription: Level 4 badge.

"Interesting." he mumbles before slipping it into his pocket.

His attention is immediately caught by the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. Leon turns away from the doctor's body and hides behind a desk. This time, he thinks, he will not be the one caught off guard.

Finally, you reach the third floor. You're ready to retrieve this damn serum and leave. Your body is sore from the fight with Leon. You feel the bruises forming on your arms and legs from the contact with his toned, rock-hard body. Although you managed to stand up to him, the whole ordeal really fucked you up, not just physically.

You walk down the seemingly endless hallway, holding your arm with one hand uselessly trying to ease the pain your bruises are giving you.

You keep thinking about Leon and you're conflicted. He kinda pisses you off with his wannabe-hero attitude, a man who thinks the weight of the world rests on his shoulders alone and that everyone depends on him. But, as much as it pains you to acknowledge it, you know that his concern for you was genuine. You could tell by the way he looked at you that he wouldn't hesitate for a second to put his life on the line if it meant helping an innocent person. It would have been a brave gesture, had he not chosen you.

Part of you is relieved that you didn't see his lifeless body under the window from which you threw him. Not that you care about him at all; your concern stems from deep selfishness. The life of an innocent person – and you know Leon is, even if you don't like him that much – would weigh more heavily on your conscience, assuming you still have one.

If he has to die, you would rather not be the one to do it. But if you have no choice, you won't hesitate to pull the trigger. Just as you didn't hesitate when you defenestrated him.

You sigh in relief when you find yourself in front of the janitor's room. You look around making sure no one has followed you and silently make your way in. You furrow your eyebrows when you see nothing but brooms and cleaning supplies.

But you don't buy it, the guy wouldn't have crawled half a hallway while leaking blood from his stomach to hide a real janitor's room.

You start frantically searching all over the room, moving buckets and bottles of bleach in search of some clue.

Anger and frustration begin to take over and you start throwing everything on the floor, not realizing that you're making a lot of noise. You suddenly stop. Your breathing is increased by the effort and by your nerves. You open the door and peek outside, making sure no one heard you throw everything around.

You close the door again and lean against a shelf, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.

When you open them up again, your gaze falls on a specific spot on the wall. On it there's an oval dirty mark. You look at it carefully, moving closer to observe it better. You notice the spot looks exactly like a fingerprint, so you put your finger on it and it matches. Your heart starts beating fast with anticipation. You press gently and gasp as a small hidden screen is revealed. Its cover seamlessly blended with the wall. You smile, pleased with yourself for figuring it out.

For once you're grateful to someone for not washing their hands.

You read on the little screen that you need to identify yourself, so you whip out the badge stored safely in your pocket and swipe it over the sensor, waiting for a door to open so that you could finally get your hands on the loot. Instead, a loud beep fills the room and the words "level 4 badge required" pop up.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" you whine.

You were one step away from completing the mission and finally returning home, and instead you find yourself faced with yet another puzzle to solve that takes you back to square one. And now, where do you find a level 4 badge?

You're not crazy about the idea of having to search every floor of this fucking building all while having to deal with some unhinged dudes who kill anyone who comes across them and with another dude who, no matter what you do, just doesn't fucking die like serial killers in horror movies.

The only thing you can think of now, as macabre as it is, is to go downstairs for the umpteenth time and search the pockets of every goddamn dead doctor lying on the floor.

You leave the room and run for the stairs, pissed and not giving a damn about alerting the bloodthirsty men around you.

When you reach the first floor you go straight to the corpses, ready to check the pockets of every single lab coat. You'll find that badge, if it's the last thing you do.

"Looking for this?" a voice says behind you.

When you turn around you see Leon showing you the level 4 badge with a smirk on his face. He knows he has you in the palm of his hand now, and he's enjoying it. You, on the other hand, not so much. You'd like to punch him square in that pretty face of his.

That fucker is clearly one step ahead of you and there's nothing you can do but steal the badge from him. And in comparison, going to mars seems easier.

But you'd rather not give him the satisfaction, so you just smirk back and play along.

"You're still alive." you say, not surprised.

"Yeah, I guess the little stunt you pulled back there didn't work out."

"Oh, well, I'll make sure we're on a much higher floor next time." you tell him, and he looks at you with a slight smile on his face, as if he finds the challenge between you intriguing.

Leon puts the badge in one of his many pockets and you look at it carefully. He notices your gaze and chuckles.

"Why are you laughing?" you say with a slight irritation in your voice. His conceit drives you crazy. He wasn't being so cocky when you threw his ass out the window.

"I know what you plan to do."

"Tell me, Leon. What am I planning to do?" you say, with as much arrogance as him.

"Steal it from under my nose and get to that serum before I can even figure out I don't have the badge anymore, am I right?" he says, still with that annoying smile on his face.

He got you, and that pisses you off. You look at him and say nothing, cause at this point trying to find an excuse to get him back would be even more pathetic than just sucking it up.

He chuckles. "Right. But I'm warning you, it won't work."

You snicker as you move closer to him. He watches you carefully as you approach him until you are face to face. He looks at you with a hard expression.

"You're underestimating my pickpocketing skills." you say in a low voice, looking him in the eye as you raise your hand ever so slightly and move it towards the pocket where he put the badge. His eyes are fixed on yours as he clenches his jaw.

Your hand is getting closer and closer to the pocket on his thigh. But you don't even get to brush against it when his hand tightens around your wrist, blocking you altogether.

"And you're underestimating my ability to break your hand." he says with a serious tone, still looking into your eyes.

You step back and shrug. "Don't blame me for trying."

Leon opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by male voices from the other side of the wall. The voices are followed by the sound of heavy footsteps. There are many of them, and you know for sure that they are armed as fuck.

Out of the corner of your eye you notice Leon pulling out his gun and aiming it at the hallway. You do the same after checking that you still have ammo.

"I would love to continue this pleasant conversation, but I'm afraid we have guests." he tells you in all seriousness.

You can't help but smile at how corny that was. But your smile quickly disappears from your face as soon as the team of douchebags begins to aggressively come towards you.

"Well, assuming we survive." you say, firing the first shot.

Notes:

shit's going DOWN next chapter. and when they get out of this place... well, that's when the fun starts :)

hope you enjoyed. thank you all for the kudos and the comments which make my day everytime.

see you next time.

Chapter 4: Coming to Get You

Summary:

Leon gets the upper hand and you have to find a way to get to him.

Notes:

here we go!

just wanted to clarify that i messed up the floors in the previous chapters. in italian ground floor and first floor are two different things, just like in british english actually, but since the story is set in the US i'm gonna change it. :)

hope you like the chapter, happy reading.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You hide behind a desk as you try to catch your breath, your chest rising and falling erratically, your throat dry and sweat beading on your forehead. The sound of guns and the smell of gunpowder fill the air, overwhelming you. You lower your head as chunks of wood surround you with each shot towards you. The desk won't hold much longer, and you know you must move quickly.

You look around to see how Leon is doing. You hope he's still alive, but not for the typical reasons you wish a person would survive. You hope he's still alive because you need him to take out as many men as possible. You're experienced and you're capable, but you're not invincible, and you know that alone against ten armed men you couldn't do it.

With Leon, however, you have a chance. You don't care if he doesn't make it out of this fight alive; all you care about is using his skills so that he gives you a chance to win and, therefore, to survive.

The firing at your makeshift shield suddenly stops. You think that most likely the asshole must have run out of ammo. You only have a few seconds before he reloads and begins firing at you incessantly until the desk has become nothing but dust. You stick your head out and see him, busy reloading his machine gun. You close one eye to get a better aim and hold your breath to steady yourself. Your shot strikes, hitting the man in the head, who immediately falls to the ground.

While you're standing, you're finally able to see Leon. A man yells to his teammates to stop shooting. He put his hands up, and terror is plastered on his face. The others don't know what to do, they don't know whether to hide or shoot anyway sacrificing their friend. Because that man with his hands raised and eyes steeped in fear has become Leon's human shield, who's now shooting the enemies standing in front of him.

Every shot he fires hits the bull's-eye, and you can't help but notice that he avoids firing at vital organs, aiming the weapons into their hands or their legs.

Once he makes sure he has disarmed everyone, he strikes the man he's holding hostage with the butt of his gun, which he then stows in his holster. He faces the remaining men in a hand-to-hand fight, knocking them unconscious.

You watch the men he fought lying motionless on the ground, but still alive. And then your gaze falls on those you took care of, lifeless as a pool of their blood surrounds them.

You're completely different, the two of you. Leon kills only when he realizes there is no other way, you kill before others can even try to kill you. He avoids it by all means because he's selfless, you do it out of precaution because you're selfish.

Leon stops, panting, and looks at the men you killed, then his gaze rests on you. You can't read him. His eyes don't let out any emotion. You don't know whether or not he's judging you for your ruthlessness. But to be fair, he wouldn't have the right to. After all, you saw him stab a man in the neck. Now you know he did it because he had no choice, because it was either him or the guy. But that doesn't erase the fact that when he does have to kill, he's just as cold-blooded as you are.

"Well, we survived." he says, referring to what you told him before the fight began.

"So it seems." you answer, checking the magazine of your gun.

Leon begins to look around. He nears the end of the hallway and his gaze fixes on something you can't see.

You frown and clutch your gun. His behavior makes you suspicious and you walk towards him. But your movements are interrupted when he turns, pointing his gun at you.

"Maybe I should've knocked you out, too." he says, backing towards the stairs.

"You could've tried."

You observe his stance. His arms are steady, his grip is strong on the pistol. Your eye falls on his finger resting on the barrel of the gun. He's using trigger discipline, so you can tell he's not really going to shoot you. You begin to slowly walk towards him again.

"I won't let you take it." you say, shaking your head slightly.

He stops, looks out of the corner of his eye to his right, and pulls the badge you desperately need out of his pocket. You look at where his gaze was resting until a few seconds ago. Near him, you notice a small screen with a flashing red light. You open your eyes wide as you realize what it is and start walking faster.

"We'll see about that." he says, swiping the badge on the scanner and running towards the stairs.

You sprint after him, but when you get to the stairs it's too late, the badge activated security doors that blocked them.

"Fuck!" you hiss, slamming your hand against the door. The security doors weren't displayed on the blueprint you saw on the computer, but since it was also accessible to people with lower-level badges – such as Dr. Tucker who was definitely less helpful than you thought – you're not surprised.

If Leon was one step ahead of you before, now there are miles between you. What you thought would be a piece of cake is turning out to be one of the most difficult missions you've been given. And meeting a guy with better hair than yours who's totally screwing you over wasn't on your bingo card.

You go back to the main hall and start looking in every dead doctor's pocket again, but to no avail. Apparently, Leon has managed to get his hands on the only fucking level 4 badge in this goddamn laboratory.

You look around, unsure of what to do and how to catch up to him. Then you notice the elevators. You know that with the badge in your possession you can take an elevator, but if the security doors have blocked the stairs, you doubt it will work.

You bite the inside of your cheek and sigh. You decide to try because you really have nothing to lose. You just hope you don't get stuck in there, and if that happens it would be the icing on the shit cake that this day has turned out to be.

You swipe your badge over the scanner and the elevator doors open. You step inside, even though you're still a little hesitant.

"I'm coming to get you, asshole." you mutter, as you push a button and doors close in front of you.

Leon reached the second floor. He begins to search every room incessantly but finds nothing but empty test tubes and other laboratory supplies. If he wasn't certain that a powerful biological weapon is in this building, he'd think he was in the wrong place.

His gaze falls on the broken window from which you threw him a few hours ago. He pauses for a second to look at it, before sighing and resuming his search. He swipes his badge over the scanner located near the stairs leading to the third floor. As he goes up, the security doors close behind him.

The third floor looks even more stark than the second. He sighs in frustration, hoping he won't have to go through every single floor of this damn building. Especially knowing that you're still alive, conscious, and fucking determined. Leon knows you won't give up easily. He's wondering what you're doing right now and how you think you can get to the serum before he does. He wouldn't be surprised if you were to pop out of one of these closed doors and shoot him right between the eyes.

He's seen what you're capable of. And he also knows that you know how to catch him off guard; the cut on his arm that's still stinging and bleeding is proof of that.

He begins to get nervous when the search on the third floor also turned out to be a fiasco. He heads for the stairs to go up again, but suddenly he stops. His eyebrows are furrowed as he notices an open door. He looks around to make sure he wasn't the one to leave it open, but he's sure he has closed every door he has entered. He didn't notice it before, or maybe being the janitor's room, he didn't pay much attention to it. Still, he now wonders why it was the only open door on the entire floor. More importantly, for the first time since he saw you again on the first floor, he's wondering why you were desperately looking for a level 4 badge.

When he opens the door, he can't help but notice the mess. He enters carefully and makes sure he doesn't trip over anything. He looks around for whatever you were looking for.

And that's when he too notices the fingerprint on the wall. Just like you, Leon places his finger and presses, revealing the hidden scanner. He swipes the badge on it and a hidden door opens. When he enters, in front of him is a case with the test tube containing the serum, various machines and computers.

"So that's why you needed the badge, huh?" he snickers.

Leon takes a look around before taking the serum. He turns one of the computers on and checks if there is any more information on the research and development of the serum. He can't afford to leave behind sensitive data that could potentially be exposed to someone who wouldn't put it to good use.

He takes a flash drive from his pocket and inserts it. He finds several interesting files, including detailed descriptions of the trials and side effects.

In one folder he finds an audio called "trial 34": it's the only audio file on the whole computer. He purses his lips as he clicks on it and listens carefully. The audio plays in the small hidden room, and what he hears gives Leon goosebumps.

"What the fuck." he mutters, shaking his head.

You click every button on that fucking elevator. On each floor an automatic voice tells you that it's not possible to open the doors. For security reasons, it says.

Frustration pervades your body. You can't accept failure when you were one step away from victory. You keep going up despite the doors always remaining closed and despite the fact that Leon will have found the serum and he's probably already on a helicopter bound for who knows where. You still don't know who he is or who he works for, but surely finding out more about him will be one of the first things you do when you get home.

You have a right to know who screwed you over, after all. Assuming Leon is his real name.

You press the button to go up to the eighth floor. You sigh as you wait to hear that annoying voice announce again. Instead, against all your expectations, the elevator doors open. You widen your eyes, still in disbelief. Your enthusiasm leaves you real quick when you realize that if the doors have opened it's probably because Leon has gone down to the first floor again to leave this place with the serum.

When you leave the elevator, however, you realize that the stairs to go down are still blocked. You frown, unable to figure out what's going on. You grab your gun and make your way down the eighth-floor corridor. You open each door to look for something useful to be able to reach Leon and prevent him from taking the serum. You open every cabinet, every drawer, every shutter without success.

When you enter another room, the sudden drop in temperature destabilizes you. Around you are display cases with a series of test tubes placed side by side in the refrigerating room.

You try to swipe your badge on the scanner and the display cases open, giving you full access to what they held.

You think that perhaps the reason why the access to the eighth floor hasn't been restricted is because this is where the doctors with a lower level of importance worked.

You take one of the test tubes and look at the liquid inside. You turn on the computer to look for information on the content.

Substance n.1546. Powerful tranquilizer. It has an effect of two hours on men and three on women, considering the average weight. Number of tests performed on humans: 25. Side effects: headache and nausea upon waking.

You twist the test tube in your hands. In the next case there are some syringes. You take one and put the tranquilizer in it.

"It might come in handy." you say, putting the syringe in your pocket.

Notes:

ok... this was supposed to be the end of their journey in this lab, but the chapter would've been wayyyy too long so i had to split it. that's why this probably isn't as exciting as you thought it would be. but next chapter they're gonna get out of there and that's when the REAL story begins.

also, sorry if the action scenes are a little disappointing but they're not my forte. i wanted to get out of my comfort zone and write something different tho so here we are.

hope you liked it either way. let me know what you think.

you can check out my other fics in the meantime if you like :)

see ya!

Chapter 5: Experiment 34

Summary:

You finally get out of the lab.

Notes:

This one's a doozy. Trigger warning for pretty bad violence.

Told ya I needed to split it. It's a loooong boy. It's almost 3am and I've just finished writing so there may be some mistakes that I'll fix asap.

Happy reading. 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You approach the window, leaning your hands against the glass as you look down. You sigh deeply and turn away. You know it's the only way to reach Leon, though just at the thought of it your heart begins to race.

You approach the stairs on the other side of the hallway, the ones to go upstairs, and to your amazement you notice that the access to the ninth floor is free as well.

You go up the stairs and start searching every room again, hoping to find something that will help you climb down from the window without dying. And, as much as you hope to find a harness and carabiners, you know you'll be lucky if you can find ropes.

You wonder what the you of a few years ago would think, seeing you intent on finding something that would allow you to rappel down from the eighth floor of a building to try to reach a man with better intentions than yours and be able to steal an extremely dangerous serum from him just so you could make some money out of it.

The you who had so many dreams in her drawer and really cared about the people around her. You don't know exactly when you became the way you are now, and whether somewhere inside you that kind person you once were still exists. The person who would take Leon's side without even a second thought.

Leon – he pisses you off.

Maybe it's exactly because he reminds you of who you used to be, what you believed in. It pisses you off to see him fighting for something you gave up on. It pisses you off because he's the prime example of your failure, of what you should have become. He has succeeded, while you've become a greedy asshole who thinks only of herself. And you are in it up to your neck, even a change of heart will never erase what you are now.

And so, you continue on your dark path. Going back just seems like hypocrisy to you.

You open yet another door to a room that was apparently some kind of dormitory. These people spent so much time in here that they even needed beds. They had, perhaps, a more miserable life than you. But of that you are not sure.

You sigh, pulling the sheets off the beds and tying them to each other. You shake your head and chuckle. You're really about to do something you only see in the worst B-movie comedies where the main character manages to fool the cops by escaping from prison with his sheets. The clumsy protagonist usually survives after falling on his ass on a bush. Below you there is hard, dusty ground, though. If you fall you die, because unfortunately you're not a B-movie protagonist with plot armor.

You stop tying the sheets when you hear a noise. You leave everything on the floor and leave the room with the gun in your hands. The noise comes from a room on your floor. Perhaps Leon hasn't found the serum yet and thinks he will find it here? You approach the room with a smirk on your face, ready to sneak up on him from behind.

But when you open the door wide, you find before you a person who, much to your disappointment, is not Leon. You're confused. You thought you either killed or knocked out every single one of them. Instead, a bulky man was right before you.

He turns his gaze to you and looks first surprised and then downright pissed off.

"Are you the one who locked everything up? Huh?"

The man marches towards you with a greedy step. You back away with your gun pointed at him.

You look at him. Dressed like the other men, armed even more heavily. He must have stayed here looking for the serum while the others came down in a group to get rid of you and Leon. Well, trying to get rid of you two.

He got as screwed as you did when Leon activated the security doors. Maybe even more so, because without a badge he couldn't even go down in the elevator. Hour after hour you walk in here and wonder who designed the security measures in this place. They clearly cared more about keeping everything secret from prying eyes than about their own safety if they had to evacuate the building.

"Do you know how long I've been trying to get out of this fucking place?" he yells, and you see spurts of saliva coming out of his thin, chapped lips.

"That makes two of us." you say, as you keep backing away.

He stops and picks up the weapon he kept safely on his back and points it at you. You widen your eyes, and a sigh of astonishment leaves your lips. You should have killed him as soon as he laid his eyes on you. You hesitated, taken aback, and now you're screwed. Your heart beats faster and your hands begin to tremble. You let your guard down.

"I'm going to fucking kill you." he hisses as he grips his flamethrower.

"Who did you think you were going to meet in here, Godzilla?"

The man grunts and pulls the trigger, shooting a long, powerful flame that you avoid with a flip. His finger remains firmly on the trigger as he chases you, setting fire to anything around him. You run away to try to regain some advantage over him. When you turn to finally shoot him, however, the flame hits your arm, making you scream in pain.

The heat becomes increasingly unbearable as the entire floor begins to catch fire. A cloud of thick smoke fills your lungs and blurs your vision. The man keeps firing until nothing more comes out. He looks at you and throws away the flamethrower and takes a knife out of his pocket.

You sigh, pointing the gun between his eyes. "Can you be faster than a bullet, you fucker?" you tell him, increasing his anger.

This guy has completely lost his mind, and the inferno around you is proof of that.

You fire a shot, but the man ducks at the last second, charging at you and knocking you to the ground. You're pinned under him; you throw a punch in his face that doesn't scratch him in the slightest. He tries to stab you, but you stop his hands and try to keep the blade from reaching your chest. He's strong, very strong. You're tired, bruised, and your arm is burning like hell. You know you won't be able to overpower him, so you have to find another way to break free.

You reach up and bite down on his arm as hard as you can, causing him to scream in pain. You smack his other hand, knocking his knife out.

"Stupid bitch." he screams. His arm begins to bleed. You keep trying to get him off you, but all your efforts are in vain. He's heavy and you're weak.

"Now I'll show you." he says, putting his hands around your neck and starting to squeeze hard. Your face turns red and the veins on your forehead burst as you try to free yourself from his grip. You kick and punch him, but everything seems to be useless. The man is seized by an indomitable fury that makes him even stronger than he probably is.

You look around as you struggle to catch a breath, made even more difficult by the smoke that has now filled the entire hallway. You notice your gun next to you; it fell when he attacked you. You stretch your arm to be able to catch it. You touch it, but you push it away without wanting to. Your vision starts to go blurry, if you don't do something soon, you'll pass out, and he won't stop until you're not breathing anymore.

You reach even further, finally managing to bring the gun closer and pick it up. You raise it and aim it at the man's temple and fire one shot before he notices the gun is even in your hand. You squint involuntarily as his blood splashes on your face. You start coughing hard as his grip on your neck finally loosens. You try to catch your breath, but the rapidly spreading smoke doesn't make it easy for you.

You pull the man off your back and stand up, retrieving your pistol from the ground and touching your painful neck. You pant as you stare at his lifeless body on the floor.

You really thought it was going to be the end, for a few seconds. Your legs are shaking and so are your hands. The sound of the flames brings you back to reality. You run to the window and smash it with your elbow to let some of the smoke out. You retrieve the sheets you tied up and run downstairs. The flames are slowly spreading to the other floors as well. You also smash the eighth-floor window and lean out, breathing clean air for a few seconds, before opening the door in front of your way out. You tie the sheet to the foot of a desk attached to the wall. You pull the sheet towards you and then close the door by trapping it in between to make it even more secure.

You throw it down and take a look below. For the first time in while, you're afraid. Fucking terrified. But, now, you no longer have a choice. You can't even think of and alternative way of reaching Leon, or you'd choke to death in the thickening, black smoke.

You climb out the window, holding on with all your strength to the sheet which fortunately seems to be stable. Your gaze falls on your burned arm. Adrenaline allows you not to feel the pain but you're relieved to see that it's not as bad as you thought it was.

You begin to descend slowly, backing up the wall and counting the windows to know when you reach the third floor.

You could have walked away, you could have called Raven and told him that you failed the mission, that the serum had been taken before you even got there. But you killed several people, you almost died at the hands of an asshole. It can't have all been for nothing.

Your heart races as you continue to descend. Window number six.

Your knuckles are white from gripping the sheet. Your fingers start to swell and hurt. Window number five.

Your leg muscles are burning, and you don't want to look underneath for fear of losing your balance. Window number four.

Sweat wets your forehead. Window number three.

You have finally arrived. You move to the left and start kicking the window. You kick, over and over until the glass finally breaks and you leap inside, falling to the cold floor. You catch your breath and lie on the ground with your eyes closed, wondering how you're still alive and somewhat breathing.

Your body is asking you to stop, it's telling you it can't take it anymore. But you can't stop, not now. You slowly get back up and make your way to the janitor's room with your gun in hand. When you peek inside, you see that Leon managed to find the secret room. You see him, his back is turned and he lowered his head, he's leaning on the desk with both hands.

You approach him slowly, raising your gun at him.

"Where is it?" you say in a weak voice.

Leon whirls around, taken aback. He looks you up and down with a worried expression on his face. "What happened to you?"

"I don't have time for this. Give me the serum, Leon."

"Why?"

You frown and look at him, confused by his question. Leon looks at you, his features are relaxed now.

"What?"

"Why do you want it?"

"None of your business." you hiss, moving even closer to him with your gun pointed.

"You have no idea how powerful it is, what could happen if it fell into the wrong hands."

You sigh and shake your head. "I don't care. I just want to get out of here and I can't do that until you give me that fucking serum."

"I'll give you an idea of what it can do." he says, his tone is serious, almost harsh. You watch him as he approaches the computer, tracking his every move with your gun.

With a click on the keyboard, he plays an audio. Your gaze is now fixed on the computer, the line advancing and the seconds going down as the audio progresses. Leon looks at you. He wants to see your reaction. He wants to see if he was right about you, if his gut feeling about you was right. He wants to know if what you're about to hear will do something to you. If there's still some good inside of you.

"Marie, please. It's me, Jacob. Don't you recognize me? Marie!" a male voice says. The man is panting. "Marie, I beg you." he cries. The man only gets grunts in response, almost as if he were talking to an animal.

"Please, please, look at me. What did you do to her?" the man screams in despair.

Your gaze moves from the computer to Leon, who looks at you almost as if he feels guilty. Guilty for having forced you to listen to this agony too. But know he knows he was right.

"Sir, you have to go. Get him away from here, please." another voice takes over. "Bastards, I'll kill you. I'll kill you all!" the man continues to scream. "What have you done to my Marie?" his screams are excruciating, desperate. "Experiment number 34 failed." the voice from before affirms coldly.

The man's screams are still audible in the background. They give you goosebumps, a lump in your throat. Tears blur your vision. You squint, you don't want to hear, you can't take it anymore.

"Marie, Marie! Do something, plea-" a dull sound fills the air. It's the sound of your gun shooting at the computer screen. You wanted to make it stop, you had to make it stop.

"Enough." you whisper.

"That's what this damn serum can do." he tells you, squeezing the tube in his hand and holding it up for you to see. "It can ruin hundreds of lives and take just as many. Is the money really worth all of this?"

"Enough!" you scream, attacking him.

Leon blocks your every weary and sloppy blow. You're angry, sad, you feel like shit. You never had to worry about what happens after you deliver the loot, after the money fills your bank account. You never wanted to know about it, because you're selfish and didn't want to be exposed to the consequences of your actions. You never had to hear what will probably happen again if you complete your mission. And now you can't think of anything but hundreds of similar audios that were recorded after you did what you were supposed to do.

Leon stops you, pinning you between him and the wall behind you. You're trapped again, but this time you know you're not in danger. His hold on you is firm but controlled enough not to hurt you.

"Stop." he says, looking into your eyes.

Will it really make a difference? One more life or one less life, does it matter? You've come this far to fulfill a mission, and you never fail. Does anything change if you do it for the last time? Will you be a better person if you stop now?

"Nothing personal." you say softly.

Leon looks at you with furrowed eyebrows. He opens his mouth to say something, but his words are cut off by the syringe you stuck in his neck. The syringe you filled with the powerful tranquilizer you found when you were looking for him. Leon looks at you with wide eyes, before passing out and falling to the ground.

You reach down and snatch the tube from his hands and look for the badge in his pocket. When you take it, you run out of the room. The flames engulfed half the building. You need to leave as soon as possible or you won't get out of this place alive.

You approach the scanner near the stairs and swipe Leon's badge over it, disabling the security doors.

You go down two steps, but you stop. "Shit." you curse under your breath, turning to the hallway and sighing before heading back to the janitor's room to save the man who's in danger solely and exclusively because of you.

You have a conscience after all, or so it seems.

You grab him by his bulletproof vest and start dragging him out of the room and through the hallway. He's heavy, your body is weak, and your legs are about to give out. You can't drag him down the stairs, so you just have to do the one thing you should never do with a fire raging: take the elevator.

You swipe the badge over the scanner and push the button, waiting for the elevator to arrive and hoping the fire hasn't already knocked out all systems.

You cover your nose with the inside of your elbow to try to breathe in as little smoke as possible, less than you already breathed in when you were struggling to survive on the ninth floor.

The elevator arrives, the doors open in front of you, and you enter, dragging Leon inside. You press the button frantically and watch the doors close in front of you. Your gaze falls on Leon, helpless at your feet. His chest rises and falls steadily and strands of his hair cover his face.

The doors open again, and you drag Leon through the first floor already filled with smoke and flames. You look at the men Leon knocked unconscious just a few hours ago. He spared them just for them to die without even realizing it.

The heat is unbearable, you can't breathe, your eyes burn, and the smell is so strong you think you'll pass out. But just a few steps away from you is the main entrance, the escape route.

With a last effort you open it and drag Leon out. As soon as you let go of him, you fall to the ground in exhaustion. You're panting and you close your eyes, breathing in as much fresh air as you can. You turn your head to look at the building which is slowly burning to a crisp.

You take the tube from your pocket and observe the green liquid inside. The words you heard in the audio keep ringing in your head and you're sure they will be the script of your nightmares for several nights to come.

"Send the chopper." you say on the radio you picked out of your pocket.

"Oh god. Are you okay?" Johnny's voice calms you down. You're happy to finally hear a familiar voice, especially his.

"I told you I'm hard to take out." you say, chuckling.

He chuckles back. "You did. What about the serum?"

You wait a few seconds before answering. You twist the tube in your hands watching the liquid inside move. "Destroyed before I got here." you lie.

"Shit. Raven's not gonna be happy about it."

"Yeah." you say in a low voice.

"Chopper's on his way. I'll see you when you get back."

"You bet."

You turn off the radio and get up slowly. You put the serum back in your pocket and you watch Leon once more before limping towards the woods, waiting to finally go home.

Notes:

And here we are! They're finally out of that damn lab. Now the fun starts :)
I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'm soooo curious to know what you think about it cause A LOT happened lol.
Thank you so much for the kudos and the lovely comments. I luv ya.

See ya!

Chapter 6: Happy to See Me?

Summary:

After your mission is over, you have mixed feelings about what to do with the serum. When you make a decision, something unexpected happens.

Notes:

Ayoooooo! Chapter six everybody. I had time to read the whole story and I fixed some things. I also added some details in the previous chapter (i'm telling you in case you want to reread it to check them out).

Hope you enjoy, happy reading.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Destroyed?"

"Yeah." you say, lowering your gaze to your fingers as you nervously pick on the skin.

Raven starts pacing back and forth across the room, stopping in front of a metal locker which he punches, making you wince. Your eyes are now fixed on the large dent. Drops of blood run down from his hand wetting the floor.

If he finds out that you lied to him and that you actually have the serum in your possession, the day you spent in that lab will feel like a carnival ride compared to what he will do to you.

If there is one thing he hates even more than losing money, it's traitors. Now you are a traitor who has cost him millions of dollars, which is the perfect mix to unleash his deepest, most uncontrolled rage.

"How the fuck is that possible?" he screams in your face.

"There were a lot of guys inside that lab looking for the serum. I was alone against everybody. When I got there the test tube was on the floor in a thousand pieces. And then the whole building caught fire. There was nothing I could do." you say in a trembling voice.

You can't look up; you can't look him in the eye, or he'll know you're bullshitting him. And when he figures it out, he will force you to confess, torturing you if necessary. And you will give in, telling him that the serum is safe in the vault located in a secret room underneath your father's old hardware store.

Your dad didn't even trust his own shadow. You, however, he did. He only showed it to you when he was forced to close the store. The room was not on any floor plans, and when he took you there, he made you swear not to tell anyone about its existence. You swore, even though you felt he was overreacting. When you rolled your eyes and grumbled as you made a promise to your beloved father, you never imagined that you would lead this dangerous life, that such a room could actually be useful to you.

That room is all you have left of him, and you know he'd be disappointed with your use of it.

He had lost his mind, your father, in the last years of his life. He was paranoid, distrustful, irritable. But he never stopped being an honest man. Who knows what he would think of what you've become.

"Come on, Michael. Give her a break. Look at her, you can't tell she didn't try her hardest to get you what you wanted." Johnny says, trying to mediate between you and a furious Raven.

Johnny is the only one who can reason with that man, he is one of the few who has always been by his side, and the only person he listens to. Johnny is loyal and rational, he always knows what to say at the right moment, and every day you're grateful that he's one of your closest friends, the father figure you needed when your dad was gone. He's always had your back, especially with Raven, and he's one of the few you truly trust.

Raven looks at him with furrowed eyebrows and clenched jaw. He then sits down, rubbing his bloody hand over his face and sighing. "Get out of my sight." he tells you in a low voice.

You immediately stand up and look at Johnny, who follows you out of the room.

"You okay, pumpkin?" he tells you, gently patting your shoulder.

"I guess so. Thank you. I feel like he was going to hit me if you weren't there."

He sighs and nods slightly. "Yeah… He's not used to not getting what he wants. If he didn't know your potential and how useful you really are to him, probably not even my words would have helped."

You keep your gaze on the floor and sigh. "Do you think he trusts me?" you ask, looking up at Johnny.

"Is there any reason he shouldn't?" he asks you, frowning.

Your nails pick the skin of your thumb even more vehemently than before. You begin to break into a cold sweat and doubt your choice. You don't even know why you decided to do what you did, really. You were taken by an impulsive choice, by the fear that what you heard in the audio that Leon forced you to listen to would be reiterated.

But you still couldn't destroy the serum. You didn't have the guts to do what Leon probably would have done. Because you're not like him.

You put it in that vault thinking that it was better if it stayed there, that you wouldn't sell it to anyone for the time being, but it would still serve you as a backup plan. Because you may have done one good thing, but you haven't changed.

You smile slightly and shake your head. "No, of course not."

"You know you can tell me anything, right pumpkin?"

"I do, Johnny. But there's really nothing else to say."

He smiles too, moving closer to you to give you a brief hug. "All right, then. Go home and rest, you don't look too good."

You snicker and nod, watching him walk away.

When you open the door of your house, you turn on the light and stand in the doorway for a few seconds. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You place your keys on the entry cabinet and drop onto the couch, rubbing your face with both hands and putting pressure on your eyes until you see white spots.

You get up and go to the bathroom, turning on the shower and removing your clothes. You feel the temperature with your fingers before you get in and let the hot water embrace you.

You close your eyes and let a thousand thoughts travel through your mind. You can never go back from what you have done, and you don't know what the next steps will be. Should you keep taking missions from Raven as if nothing happened, aware that you have screwed him over, or should you leave town and work alone for the first time ever, away from everything and everyone you know?

You open your eyes to look at your arm when you feel discomfort. The pressure of the water on your burn hurts. You look at the wound and then your gaze focuses on your whole naked body. Yellow and purple bruises and bloody cuts pattern your body like splotches of color on a blank canvas.

Are the physical and mental suffering really worth it?

When you get out of the shower, you put on your pajamas and go back to the living room. You turn on the TV and start distractedly watching a cooking show. The noise of the television helps you stop focusing on everything that has happened, and perhaps it might help you sleep.

But hours go by, programs start and end, and your eyes are wide open. You feel physical and mental fatigue, but you can't fall asleep.

You bite your nails as you end up thinking about Leon. You wonder what happened to him, if he managed to escape after waking up. You wonder if his boss also threatened to kill him when he came back without the serum.

You wonder who his boss is, actually. You pick up your computer from the coffee table and turn it on, beginning to research him.

One of the first things Johnny taught you to do was how to do extensive research on who you were facing before a mission, when it was possible to know in advance. And with up-to-date databases and stolen classified information, you always managed to stay one step ahead of all your known enemies.

This time it's a little more complicated because you only know Leon's name. After hours of researching hundreds of men named Leon, which apparently is a more common name than you thought, you manage to find something interesting.

You read about a former police officer who found himself in the middle of the Raccoon City outbreak on his first day on the job. A certain Leon forced to become a federal agent by the Division of Security Operations. A Leon with several missions behind him, including that of rescuing President Graham's daughter from the clutches of a religious sect called Los Iluminados in Spain.

You're almost certain it's him, and your suspicions are confirmed when you finally come upon a photo of him. Strands of his hair fall across his serious face.

"Leon Scott Kennedy. You didn't lie about your name."

It's been two weeks since the mission ended, and you've spent most of it at home. You widened your eyes when you saw Raven's name on your phone ringing this morning.

"It's a simple job. You get into the archive, collect the files, and get out."

"Got it."

"Don't fuck it up again."

"I won't."

And without giving you an answer he hung up on you.

He said the job would be easy, and it was. The driver took you to the building, yet another multinational pharmaceutical company, and you snuck into their archive, taking full access to their database and getting files with sensitive data. Then you left without being seen by anyone and got back into the car that drove away almost immediately.

You got in, got the data, and got out, just like he told you to.

You still don't know whether to break all contact with Raven and look for work elsewhere. After all, you've already got other jobs from different payers many times, so you wouldn't have a hard time. You're holding onto him for now because disappearing so abruptly after failing one of the most high-profile missions in recent months would have been suspicious and would have inevitably put him on your tail.

So, you hang in there until you can get rid of the son of a bitch once and for all.

After turning in everything you were able to get in the database, you finally headed home.

You go to the kitchen and open the refrigerator, grabbing a beer and uncorking it. You sip it, still looking at your half-empty refrigerator. You sigh and close it, heading for the living room and dropping onto the couch. The condensation on the glass bottle wets your hand as you hold it tight, sipping the beer from time to time.

Guilt continues to eat at you from the inside. Guilt for lying to someone you know would make you pay dearly if he found out, and even guilt for everything you have done and continue to do. You fucking hate Leon. It's his fault you feel this way now. It's his fault for his incredible urge to be a hero and his genuine concern for those around him. You hate everything he stands for and you hate that he's making you doubt yourself. You'd never met someone like him before and you wish you never had.

Someone knocks on your door, catching you off guard and making you jump. You set your beer down on the small table in front of you and head for the front door, huffing. You're sure you're about to find your neighbor reminding you of yet another condo meeting.

But when you open the door, you see a figure you instantly recognize with an extremely pissed-off face. You widen your eyes and open your mouth in disbelief.

"What the f-" you begin, but your words are cut off when the person in front of you pushes you, pinning you between them and the wall behind you.

"Happy to see me?" Leon says in a low, cold voice.

Speak of the fucking devil.

You smile. "I'm stunned. Don't you have another president's offspring to save?"

He snickers. "I see you've done your homework."

"So have you, golden boy."

"Where's the serum?"

You look into each other's eyes. His arm is resting on your upper chest applying pressure and holding you still. You hesitate for a few seconds before answering.

"Destroyed." you lie to him, too.

His expression becomes even harsher, his lips thin. He has no more forbearance for your bullshit, it seems. With his free hand he draws his gun and points it at your head. The feeling of the cold barrel on your forehead makes you shudder.

"Cut the bullshit," he says, never taking his gaze away from yours. "I'll ask you again, where's the serum?"

"What if I told you that it has been sold by now?"

"I would look for your buyer and stop them from doing whatever they are planning to do."

And this time too, you see the sincerity in his eyes. After reading what he went through in Raccoon City on his first day on the job, you understand why he's so adamant on finding that serum. He wants to prevent other people from experiencing what he had to experience. You have no empathy for him, though, for what he's been through. You too have had a shitty life and you don't seek sympathy from others. But you understand him, you understand his motivations.

Maybe, for once, you want to play the heroine too. Or maybe you just want to lift a huge weight off you since you got hold of that damned bioweapon. You don't want to know anything about it anymore, you want to unload the weight on someone else.

You wouldn't have been able to sell it anyway. You would have backed out like the coward you are, fearing the sound of that man screaming in despair would haunt you for the rest of your life knowing something like that might have happened because of you.

"Fine," you begin. "I'll give it to you."

Leon frowns. "What's the catch?"

"No catch. It's useless to me. Apparently, no one is interested enough in it to pay off the amount I'd like to get out of it." you lie, again. You don't even know the actual reason for this lie. Maybe you don't want to let him know that his attempt to hack into your hidden conscience by making you listen to that fucking audio somehow worked.

He slowly removes the gun from your head and walks away, freeing you. He continues, however, to keep the weapon aimed at you. He doesn't trust you and you don't blame him. Not even you would trust someone who has tried to kill you more than once.

But this time your intentions are sincere. You'll get rid of that serum and let him handle it. Once you give it to him you will never have to see each other again, and whatever he decides to do with it will no longer be your problem.

Fuck the money and fuck Raven. For once you decide to be selfish for the right reason.

"Alright, then." he says.

"It's not here. I'll take you to it." you say, walking towards the front door.

"Lead the way," he begins, and for the first time since you've met him, he calls you by your name. And you don't know why but it makes you feel vulnerable.

The journey to your father's secret room was a tense one. You drove, the heavy rain was pounding on your windshield relentlessly, and Leon's gun was aimed at you the entire time.

When you reach the store, which has now become a cafeteria, you turn to Leon who looks at you confused.

"I don't think it's time for coffee." he tells you, looking very serious.

"We're not going into the cafeteria; we're going under it."

You approach the back, making sure there are no staff members nearby. Leon follows you, his hand resting on his concealed holster to be ready to draw the pistol that he had to put away so as not to alarm passers-by.

You reach your way in – an underground entrance hidden under a thin layer of fake grass. As you get closer, you notice the slightly shifted grass and frown. You're usually extremely meticulous when you go in and out of this place, but you think that last time you must not have paid due attention.

You sigh before lifting it up and revealing the trap door. You're doing the one thing your father told you not to do – reveal the existence of this room.

You go downstairs slowly, and Leon follows you. "What is this place?" he asks you, looking around as you walk down the hall to the room.

"My inheritance." you answer.

As you approach the door, your heart starts pounding and your breathing gets faster. You rush to the sight of the ajar door and open it wide, finding yourself in front of something you never wanted to see.

"No…" you whisper, as you feel a lump in your throat. The room has been completely ransacked, everything that belonged to your father has been destroyed. His record player, his diaries, his tools. Everything.

And, of course, the vault has been broken into and the serum is gone.

"Shit." you hear Leon curse behind you.

You lean on the table as tears wet your face. The only thing you had left of your father has been lost. Everything that he touched, that he worked with, that he wrote. You have nothing left. And all for some stupid serum that you should have actually destroyed as soon as you got your hands on it.

"Hey, um, I think you should check this out." Leon tells you. You turn to him, wiping your face with the back of your hand. He looks at you with a serious expression, he has a piece of paper in his hand.

Come and get me, it reads, with coordinates underneath.

"Who would do such a thing?" Leon asks you.

"I guess I'm gonna find out."

"We are gonna find out." he says, coming closer to you.

You look at him confused. "I don't think it's a g-"

"I'm not gonna stop until I can destroy it," he interrupts you, "you're not getting rid of me."

Notes:

Sooooooo... they're going to have to spend a LOT of time together now. And there's another mystery to uncover. (I think you'll like this one). I'm gonna give you more Leon POVs soon.

Hope you enjoyed, please let me know your thoughts about this. Thank you all for the love for this story! You're too kind.

Until next time beautiful people.

Chapter 7: I Don't Want You to Be a Burden

Summary:

You and Leon follow the coordinates and find yourselves in a... strange place.

Notes:

Hello! I'm back. I'm really excited for this chapter cause their journey officially begins.

Hope you enjoy, happy reading!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

After you left the underground room, you immediately looked for where the coordinates led. It's an unknown place, a piece of land without a name and difficult to locate precisely on a map. It's not very far, about a 3 or 4 hour drive. Leon looked at his watch and asked you if you wanted to leave right away. You just nodded.

When you made it to the car, Leon offered to drive. You looked at him with a dull, blank stare and headed for the passenger side without saying a word. He glared at you as you walked around like a ghost. He doesn't know you well and doesn't trust you one bit, but your reaction seemed sincere, though he doesn't know exactly what it was from. You said that place was your inheritance, and when he had his back to you, he picked up one of the torn journals and noticed initials written on it that weren't yours. Maybe it was a room that belonged to someone you cared about. But he doesn't dare to ask because it's none of his business.

The ride is silent. Leon keeps his eyes on the road, looking at you out of the corner of his eye occasionally to make sure you're not doing anything weird. But every time he looks at you, even though the minutes pass, your position is still the same, arm resting on the door and hand under your chin.

He wants to talk, he wants to come up with a plan, he wants to be able to figure out if at least on this occasion he can trust you, but he knows he has to give you space to think and mourn the memories you've lost, and that's what he does. But then it's you who do the talking.

"Would you have destroyed it?" you ask in a low voice.

Leon turns to you briefly, before turning back to look at the road ahead. "What?"

"The serum. Would you have destroyed it if I hadn't snatched it from your hands?" you're looking at him now.

He sighs. "Probably, yeah."

"Why didn't you do it when you were alone?"

This is the question he keeps asking himself since he woke up on the ground alone, with a terrible headache and the lab on fire behind him. When he got up, he tried to look everywhere for you, he tried to make up for his mistake, but you were already gone.

From that moment you became his obsession. He spent weeks trying to find out your identity hoping that it wasn't already too late, and that the serum was still in your possession. And when he finally found you, he didn't think twice before rushing to you. When you told him that you would give it to him, for a moment hope was rekindled in him. Even if he knew that you were likely trying to fuck with him once more, he couldn't help but be relieved.

Then you opened the door, and when he saw that the room was destroyed, his hopes were too.

"Because I underestimated you." he confesses.

And it's the truth. He thought you'd never be able to catch up to him. He figured he had plenty of time to gather important information before getting rid of the serum once and for all. He thought it was best to read up on the effects before destroying it.

After listening to that audio, he had no more doubts, he had to make sure that no one got their hands on it.

But then, against all odds, you came along.

"You should've smashed it on the ground." you say in a monotone voice before looking out the window again in the same position you were in before.

You don't know how you would have reacted if he really did. You would've probably tried to kill him again. That's what Raven would have wanted you to do at least.

But looking back on all that has happened and is yet to happen, you wish that the lie you told when you came back was the truth.

"I know." he says quietly.

The lights of a motel sign distract you from the dark landscape you have encountered so far. You watch the colors of the neon change, and you stop to look at the letter o which is slightly less bright than the others. Your gaze then falls on the other sign below: vacancy.

Suddenly, the car slows down and the sound of the turning signal breaks the silence that had once again fallen between you two. You turn to Leon with furrowed eyebrows.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm stopping here." he says calmly.

You sigh in frustration. "Yeah, no shit. Why are you stopping here?"

"Because we need to rest." he says, turning off the engine.

"No fucking way. Turn this car back on."

Leon shakes his head and clenches his jaw before turning to face you with one hand still on the steering wheel. "Yeah. Let's go to an unknown place to meet someone who clearly wants to fucking kill you while we're absolutely exhausted. Sounds like a good plan to me." he says sarcastically.

You look at him and bite your cheek. You want to punch him; his know-it-all attitude makes you furious. But what you just can't stand is that he's right. You've had an extremely tiring day, and confronting someone who will surely devise a plan to take you out when you're sleep-deprived is a stupid idea.

"Give me my keys back at least." you say, extending your hand.

Leon squeezes them tightly in his hand that he then moves as far away from you as possible. He looks at you with raised eyebrows. "You really think I'm that dumb?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Too bad I don't fucking trust you."

You sigh. "Fine."

You unbuckle your seat belt, open the door and wait for him outside the car with your arms folded. After a few seconds Leon joins you, locking the car.

When you enter, you rent two adjoining rooms. You ride the elevator in complete silence, and you can't help but think about the last time you were in an elevator together and Leon was lying unconscious on the ground because of you.

When you reach your rooms, you look at each other for a few seconds without saying anything before you let a wall separate you. For the first time in the whole evening, silence comforts you.

The tension with Leon is still high. You know you won't be able to get rid of him. And, truth be told, you don't want to. He irritates you, but you know his skills will come in handy.

You go to the bathroom to freshen up before getting under the covers. You look at the ceiling, unable to sleep. You're sad and pissed and worried. Seeing your father's room reduced like that broke your heart. You have lost much of what was left of him, but above all you know that you have deeply disappointed him. Making sure no one found out about his room was all you had to do. Instead, not only did you bring Leon – a guy you dislike and tried to kill, but you most likely had someone follow you without you realizing it.

Someone who hates you, apparently. Someone who wants to play hide and seek with you for whatever reason. You've made many enemies over the years; the list of possible culprits is long.

You suddenly hear the faint sound of the TV in Leon's room. You wonder if he needs a light noise to be able to fall asleep or if he's finding a pastime to fight the boredom brought on by insomnia. After all, falling asleep when you don't really know what to expect is not easy.

You roll onto your side and close your eyes, trying to turn off your thoughts.

The next morning you get up at dawn. You open the curtains and watch the sun rise. Pink and orange lights color the sky. It's a beautiful day outside, but you know it won't be for you. You don't know what you're about to be up against, but as much as it pains you to admit it, you're glad you don't have to go through this alone.

As you put on your shoes, someone knocks on your door. You look up for a few seconds before you tie your shoes and go to open the door. Leon looks at you. His hair is still damp from the shower, the body wash he used gives him a light scent of white musk. Although you came here to rest, the dark circles under his eyes are more noticeable than yesterday, and so are yours.

You look at each other without saying a word. You leave the room after glancing around briefly to make sure you didn't forget anything and head together for the elevator.

"How're you feeling today?" he asks you as he presses the button.

You look at him briefly before returning to look at the elevator doors in front of you. "We're not friends."

He scoffs. "Believe me, you're the last person I'd want to be friends with."

"Then why do you care how I'm feeling?" you turn to look at him.

"Because I don't want you to be a burden." he says, returning your gaze.

The bastard almost smiles. Yesterday at the memory of him lying on the floor in the elevator you felt guilty, but today you're almost nostalgic. At least when he's unconscious, you don't have to listen to him talk.

"Worry about yourself, golden boy."

The elevator doors open and Leon steps out, beginning to walk briskly without waiting for you. You follow him, always staying a few steps behind him. When you leave the motel, you see him leaning against your car with his arms crossed.

When you get close, he tosses you the car keys, which you catch on the fly, and sits in the passenger seat.

You get in the car and your journey begins again. You notice a gun shop on the road and stop to buy some weapons that you may need. "Better safe than sorry." Leon told you as he handed you a shotgun.

After about an hour you finally arrive at the point indicated by the coordinates. You and Leon look at each other confused as you find yourself in front of a small town. You park your car near the sign that says Welcome to Jacksondale. You grab your weapons and your backpack that you always keep for safety from the trunk and head for the center of town. You walk slowly, guns gripped, as you look at deserted stores and abandoned houses.

"What the fuck." Leon says.

"People used to live here."

"Until recently, that is." Leon picks up a flyer from the ground and hands it to you. It's a flyer from a flea market held a month ago.

In front of you is a small supermarket. Outside, the stand with the fruits and vegetables on display is surrounded by flies. It's all rotten. But that means that a little while ago someone put them there in order to sell them.

Although this place isn't marked on any map and isn't indicated by any signs on the road, it was a lively little town, not unlike the one you grew up in. But now nothing is left of the people who populated it other than the small evidence of their existence.

Your heart begins to pound and your hands to shake. Who's behind this? What have they done to the people who used to live here? And why did they want you to come here?

Both of you point the gun at a door when you hear a noise coming from behind it. You approach it while Leon stays still a few feet behind you. As you slowly raise your hand to reach for the handle, the door suddenly opens and a person attacks you, knocking you to the floor and throwing himself on top of you. His face is gray, his eyes are red and swollen. His mouth is smeared with blood, and he grunts like an animal. Your gun is pointed at it as the thing keeps trying to hit and scratch you. You fire a shot straight into its chest, but it doesn't stop. It comes dangerously close to your neck, biting the air like a dog. The blood on its mouth and its saliva mix, dripping down your neck as you try to hold it off. But the thing suddenly stops, and a loud noise fills the air. Soon after you hear the sound of birds flying away from nearby trees.

The lifeless body of what used to be a person is now laying on top of you. The blood splatters cover your face. Your startled gaze focuses on Leon towering above you, gun still pointed at the thing. It all happened in a matter of seconds, even if the fight seemed endless to you.

You pull the lifeless body off you and pant, wiping your face with your hands. Leon lowers his gun and offers you a hand to get off the ground.

"Shoot them in the head." he says calmly.

You take his hand and stand up with his help. Leon has his back to you and continues walking. You look at him, incredulous. You can't believe what you just saw, and his reaction leaves you perplexed. He acts like he just killed a fucking fly.

"How are you not fazed by this?" you ask, your voice still trembling.

He stops and turns around to look at you. "I've seen worse."

Notes:

GUYS I'M REALLY EXCITED LMAOOOOO

I have soooo many ideas for this and I can't wait for y'all to read what I'm planning. Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think about this! As always, thank you all so much for the kudos and the comments, I get so excited when i read them lmaooo!

See you soon!

Chapter 8: Deal?

Summary:

You and Leon search the town for clues.

Notes:

Ayo! This is a long chapter, probably the longest one so far.
It's 3am, I apologize if there are mistakes, I'll check later.

Hope you enjoy, happy reading.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Leon continues to walk around clutching his gun. You're still startled by what you witnessed a few minutes ago. You knew about the existence of these viruses that turn people into something that can only be defined by the word zombie. You heard about the tragedy in Raccoon City when it happened, and you read more about it when you found out that Leon was one of the survivors. You were amazed when you stumbled upon that information. You also thought about what you would have done if you had been in his shoes.

I guess you will find out now.

"So… is this normal for you?" you ask him after you catch up with him.

He sighs and hesitates before answering. "No. It will never be normal. I've just learned not to panic when I stand in front of one of those things," his blue eyes looking at you keenly. You turn to him, returning the gaze. "Now you'll have to learn, too." You nod after a few seconds. Leon keeps looking at you and returns a single nod before resuming your walk.

"Thank you, by the way." Leon turns to you briefly with a questioning expression before returning his gaze to the road ahead.

"For saving me." you say in a low voice.

You don't like to admit that you need other people, especially when you're not on good terms with them, to put it lightly. You feel you have to this time, though. You would have become that thing's lunch if Leon hadn't been there.

"Yeah…" he mumbles.

You walk slowly, alert, trying to make as little noise as possible. You can see the town hall from a distance, and that is where you're headed in search of some answers to what has happened to this small town, in search of the person who led you here and stole the serum.

About the serum – even though you're not sure about it, you know that the person who attacked you was infected with it. The grunts he emitted were exactly the same as the woman in the audio that Leon made you listen to in the lab. You know he knows it too; you saw his worried and vaguely angry expression when he offered you his help so you could get back up. You thought he would yell at you as soon as you got back on your feet, but instead he said nothing.

Your rational self tries to tell you that it's not your fault. It's the fault of the person who stole it and decided to use it on innocent people. You know it is. Yet you can't help but feel guilty. If you had left it with Leon or destroyed it all this would not have happened. But how could you have known?

You look at Leon. His face is serious; his eyebrows are furrowed, and his jaw is clutched. He looks around guardedly, not noticing your regretful eyes on him.

He did warn you, but you didn't listen.

Your mind wanders and you feel a knot in your stomach. You feel as if you're going to puke. Your eyes fall on your shirt full of blood splatters from that person who became like this because of you. Your ears begin to ring, and your breathing becomes more and more labored. So, this is what it feels like when you are confronted with the consequences of your actions. Because it's your fault, it's all your fault.

Your thoughts are interrupted by Leon stopping you by putting his arm in front of you. You look up at him. He nods his head to his right and then puts his finger to his lips, instructing you to keep quiet. Your eyes follow the direction of his gesture and there are four zombies in front of you. What used to be one man and three women. They walk slowly, grunting and twitching.

Leon takes you by the hand and drags you inside what used to be a liquor store. The strong smell of alcohol fills your nostrils. The floor is covered with broken bottles and dried up booze that has made the floor sticky.

"Why are we here? There are only four of them, we can do it." you say, frustrated by his decision.

"If we shoot them, we might attract more of them." he tells you in a low voice.

"So, what's your plan? Hide until they lea-" your words are interrupted by his hand laying on your lips, forcing you to be quiet, and the other resting on your back, bringing you close to him to keep you clutched in his grasp. The gesture caught you off guard, annoying you. You try to wriggle out, but his grip is tight. Your expression grows worried when you notice his eyes on something behind you. You close your eyes and hold your breath when you hear wheezing and the sound of footsteps on glass.

You open your eyes and look at Leon. His gaze is still fixed on whatever is behind you. His breathing is normal, but you can hear his heart pounding. A drop of sweat runs down his temple. Your eyes focus on his neck, more specifically the mole on his throat. You watch his Adam's apple move as he swallows. The white musk scent of his body wash is still strong on his skin, enough to cover the pungent smell of alcohol.

The noises behind you stop. Leon sighs before returning your gaze. When he realizes what position you're in, he immediately releases his grip on both your mouth and your back, backing up a few steps.

You turn, looking at where the noises were coming from, and see a zombie limping away in the distance.

"You could've warned me." you tell him.

Leon is behind the counter of the store; he opens every drawer looking for something. "It was kind of hard to warn you when you were complaining loudly and there was a fucking monster behind you." he says, without looking at you.

You cross your arms and bite your lip, holding back your immense desire to climb over the counter and kick him in the teeth. "You're such an asshole, you know that?" you hiss.

He looks at you without actually lifting his head up, "I guess we have something in common, then."

You feel the anger building inside you, but you know it's not the right time to argue. You take a deep breath and try to calm your nerves. Leon walks away from behind the counter with a sealed bottle of vodka and opens it. He sips some, shaking his head when he swallows. He looks at you for a few seconds before handing you the bottle. You don't ask questions; you take it, and you drink too. You squint as the liquid burns your throat. Leon takes the bottle back and stuffs a cloth inside.

"Smart." you say, finally understanding what he's trying to do. With a Molotov cocktail it's easier to kill more than one fucker at a time.

"I know." he replies. You roll your eyes at his cockiness and sigh.

"Now I just need a-" before he can finish the sentence, you take your lighter out of your pocket and throw it at him. Leon catches it and looks at you in surprise. "You smoke?"

"Sometimes, not that it concerns you."

"Smoking kills." he tells you with a serious expression.

"Do you care if I die, golden boy?"

"Right now, yes. In the long run, well, not really."

"Then mind your fucking business, will ya?" you wink at him before walking away.

You walk out of the store and Leon follows you. You get as close as possible to the small group of zombies, now joined by another one, and duck behind a bush. Leon picks up a small stone and throws it to get their attention and draw them all to one spot. The plan works, and when they are all close, Leon sets fire to the cloth inside the bottle and throws the Molotov cocktail in their direction. With a small explosion, all five bastards catch fire. They fuss and grunt more than usual, and after a few minutes they're all dead on the ground.

You and Leon exchange a look before resuming your journey to the town hall. The sun on your skin is starting to become unbearable. Ahead you can see the heat rising from the tarmac. You wipe the sweat from your forehead and tie your hair back. Leon is wearing a long sleeve shirt. You watch him roll up his sleeves for some relief from the heat. Your gaze falls on the scar on his arm from the cut you gave him when you caught him off guard. You look away before he realizes you're staring at him, back to the road ahead.

When you finally reach the town hall, you're faced with yet another chaotic scene. Hundreds of sheets scattered on the floor, overturned chairs, broken glass. They have all clearly run away from something or someone. Leon bends down to pick up the papers from the floor in search of some useful information, while you look around. The mayor's office is the only room still tidy. If it weren't for the withered plants on the windowsill, it would seem that nothing has changed here. As you approach the desk, you notice a red sheet folded in half. Above is your name. You rush to the main wing to show Leon.

"Hey, I found this." you say, approaching him at a brisk pace.

Leon looks up and stands up, walking towards you. When he picks up the paper and notices that it's addressed to you, he gives you a brief glance before opening it and reading the contents aloud.

"See you on the other side." Leon scoffs, "What is this, a treasure hunt?"

"The motherfucker is playing with me."

"What does this even mean?"

You sigh, pacing the room under Leon's watchful eye as you try to understand the meaning of the message. Whoever it is, they clearly have an unresolved past with you. They want to make you pay for something, and now they're forcing you to play their sick game. And even if you'd rather not participate, you are not going to lose.

Suddenly you stop and turn to Leon with raised eyebrows and your mouth slightly open. He looks at you with furrowed eyebrows. You run to your backpack and take out the map, placing it on the nearest desk. Leon joins you and you look at him before pointing on the map.

"There's a lake here." you say, tapping your finger on the light blue spot on the map.

Leon looks at it and then looks at you in surprise. "They want you to join them on the other side of the lake." You nod. He smiles briefly and so do you.

"Let's go then." he says, heading towards the main entrance.

You grab the map before leaving the town hall and making your way to the lake. The temperature shows no sign of dropping despite the fact that it is now late September. You're holding the map tightly in your hands so you don't go the wrong way, Leon is a few steps ahead of you, his gun clutched in his hands.

You take a quick glance at your watch as you huff. You raise your eyebrows in surprise when you realize that it's already four in the afternoon. Time has gone by faster than you expected, and the road ahead still seems to be long.

You glance around from time to time to make sure no more zombies pop up. Zombie. That word sounds so strange to you. You didn't think you would ever really have to refer to anything by that term unless it was a nightmare or the enemies of a horror movie.

You have been walking now for two hours. Your feet are starting to hurt, your stomach is growling, and your dry throat is begging you to drink some water. You look at Leon, who seems ethereal instead. Just a few drops of sweat on the back of his neck and on his forehead lightly dampening his hair, his walk is as straight and his stride as quick as when you started.

He turns slightly toward you before turning back to look at the road ahead. As you pass a sign with directions to the lake, he breathes a sigh of relief. Although he tries not to give it away, the long journey under the scorching sun is putting him through his paces, despite the fact that he's used to carrying out missions under pressure.

"What the hell?" he mumbles, as you approach a gate blocking the road. On the other side he sees the lake. Your gaze then falls on a sign listing the gate's opening times for access to the lake, and consequently to what lies on the other side.

"They put up a gate after someone drowned in the lake at night, apparently." he says, turning towards you.

You fold the map and approach the gate when you notice a sheet of paper attached; it's a small map of the town with x's at specific points. You turn to Leon who shakes the gate, trying to open it.

"This has to be a fucking joke." you hiss.

Leon looks at you confused, and you hand him the paper without adding another word. He sighs, clutching the grates of the gate and resting his forehead on it.

"So we have to go back and look in those spots to find what we need to open this damn gate, is that it?" he asks you with weariness in his voice.

You nod, slumping on the ground with your back against the gate. Leon does the same, sitting away from you and sighing.

After resting for a while, you resume your walk toward the town. By the time you're almost there, the sun has set. Moonlight illuminates the road until you finally return to your starting point.

"By the time we find everything we need and get back to the gate it will be well into the night. We should look for a place to rest and pick up again in the morning." Leon tells you, looking around.

"What about that house?" you say, pointing to a terraced house.

Leon walks toward the spot you pointed out, and you follow him. He looks at you for a few seconds before opening the door. When he flips the switch, thankfully the light comes on, but you're confronted by a rather morbid scene. A long streak of blood makes a trail from the stairs all the way through the living room and kitchen. You both grip your guns and begin to move forward slowly.

"I'll check upstairs, you check down here." Leon whispers.

You nod and watch him head toward the stairs at a slow pace, while you follow the blood trail downstairs. You look around several times with the fear of being attacked. The streak of blood goes on to the back door. You take a deep breath before opening it and pointing your gun in front of you, but you immediately lower it when you finally face the cause of all that mess in the house. You sigh when you look at the lifeless body of a man – or rather, what used to be a man – on the lawn. You walk over and lightly tap him with the tip of your foot a couple of times to make sure he is indeed dead.

You re-enter the house, locking the door behind you, and after a few seconds Leon joins you.

"Okay, I have good news and bad news." he tells you, putting his gun back in its holster.

"Go ahead."

"The bad news is that I haven't found who left this trail, I do know, however, that it started in the bedroom since the bed is completely soaked in blood." he sighs, leaning against the table.

You make a disgusted face. "I found it. A dead zombie in the backyard."

"Great." he says in a low voice.

"And the good news?"

"There's running water."

You smile at the idea of being able to take a shower. You couldn't wait to be able to wash the blood, dirt and sweat off your body. "Can I…?" you say pointing at the stairs.

Leon, that's standing in front of you, moves away. "Yeah, sure. You do need it more than me anyway."

You go towards the stairs and without turning to look at him you flip him the bird. You hear a soft laugh behind you before you reach upstairs.

When you reach the bathroom, you immediately turn on the shower and take off your clothes. You feel the temperature with your hand before entering. Your gaze is fixed on your feet, and you see blood and dirt sliding off your body.

Your hands are leaning against the wall. You can't help but think it's all your fault. You feel guilty about everything that happened, about being in the home of someone who would probably still be alive now if you had done what was right. Now instead you're in their shower, when you come out, you'll look for their clean clothes in a drawer and you'll sleep under their roof.

You even feel bad for Leon, because he wouldn't be here to risk his life if it weren't for you.

The tears running down your face mix with the water. The sound of your sobs is drowned out by the sound of the shower. You can't disguise how you feel inside, though.

When you come out of the shower, you take a deep breath and wrap a towel around your body. You take your dirty clothes and put them in the washer and head to the bedroom. The situation in the bedroom is even worse than Leon described it. The bed is crimson red, there are bloody handprints on the wall. The bedside table is overturned, and glass fragments of the photo frames are scattered on the floor. You take your eyes off the mess and open the drawer in search of clean clothes. You find a long shirt and shorts, you change quickly and leave the room as soon as possible, closing the door behind you and leaning your back against it for a few seconds, before going downstairs.

The streak of blood is completely gone and there's a mop next to the door. You're grateful to Leon for cleaning up and not allowing you to see that horror on the floor again, even if you don't tell him. When you go to the kitchen, Leon is opening several drawers.

When he becomes aware of your presence, he looks at you briefly before looking away. "There's some food here."

"Good."

"I'm going to take a shower." he tells you, setting his holsters next to your backpack on the floor. You nod.

"I put my clothes in the washing machine. Turn it on after you put yours in it." Leon gives you a thumbs up before going upstairs.

You open one of the drawers Leon was looking through a few minutes earlier and you find two boxes of instant ramen. You follow the instructions on the box. When the ramen is ready you bring it to the table and sit down, waiting for Leon to arrive.

Finally, you see him coming down the stairs in a gray shirt and black pants. His hair is still wet, and a few droplets fall on the shirt, creating darker spots. When he sees the hot food on the table he smiles slightly before sitting across the table from you. He blows on the ramen and looks at you, waiting for you to be ready to eat before starting.

"Can I ask you something?" you say after a while, breaking the silence between you two.

Leon looks up at you and nods. You swallow your bite and put your chopsticks on the plate. "In the lab, when you were trying to rescue me, I heard you mumbling something on the lines of why does this always happen? What were you referring to?"

He scoffs, cleaning his mouth with the napkin. "As soon as I found Ashley, she tried to hit me with a candle holder and ran away from me." he smiles lightly at the thought.

"Ashley as in Ashley Graham?" you ask. Leon nods, running a hand through his still damp hair. "It's a real shame she couldn't hit you." you say with a smirk on your face.

"Very funny." he mumbles, grabbing both of your plates and standing up to put them in the sink.

"It's late, we should sleep." you say, getting up from the table. Leon looks at you with a serious, almost concerned, expression and nods. You grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and you head together to the living room, where fortunately there are two couches and neither of you will have to sleep on the floor.

You walk over to one of the couches and grab some blankets from the nearby cabinet. You turn, handing one to Leon who takes it and places it on the couch where he's going to sleep. You lay down on it and put the blanket over you, closing your eyes. Leon turns off the light and after a few seconds he lies down on the other couch next to yours. You sigh, hoping to fall asleep as soon as possible.

You open your eyes again when you realize you've set the bottle next to the couch where Leon is lying, so you turn to your side and reach out for it. When your hands touch the neck of the bottle, the cold blade of a knife rests on your neck. He must have taken it when he went to turn off the lights and he reacted as soon as he heard you moving, afraid you were trying to take him by surprise once again. Leon looks at you, the moonlight coming in through the shutters illuminates his hard and serious face.

You place a hand on his wrist trying to push him away from you, but he resists.

"Can you please stop doing this?" you say. You're fucking tired of him threatening you with different kind of weapons. You're not afraid, you know he's not actually going to hurt you unless you react, but this is getting fucking old.

"Look, I know you don't trust me," you begin. He sighs. "But I wasn't gonna murder you, I was just trying to grab this. You can rest easy." you say, shaking the water bottle in front of his face. He looks at it briefly before looking at you again.

"I'm not so sure about that." he says, still holding his knife firm against your throat. You're annoyed, but again, you can't blame him for how alert he is around you, especially when he has to lower his guard.

You tilt your head slowly, looking him in the eye. "I don't really care about you, golden boy, but I do care about myself. Killing you right now would be fucking stupid, why would I do that?" you say. This is your way of telling him you need him, that you actually don't know if you'd make it out alive if he wasn't there.

He finally lowers his arm, relieving you from his hold and placing his knife on the floor next to the couch. He looks at you, he seems more relaxed.

"If we're gonna work together you have to trust me on this. I won't hurt you, you won't hurt me." you tell him, before holding out your hand. "Deal?"

He looks at it for a few seconds unsure of what to do. He then sighs and shakes it firmly. "Deal."

Notes:

Well, we've finally reached the point where they start to tolerate each other lmao. More mystery, more angst and also more banter/cute moments in the chapters to come. (I hope you're excited to find out where this is going cause I sure as hell am to tell you).

I really hope you liked this chapter, as always let me know what you think in the comments. Thank you for the kudos and for the love.

See ya!

Chapter 9: Guilt

Summary:

You and Leon look for the key to the gate.

Notes:

Hello there. I promised I wasn't gonna make you wait for the new chapter so here I am.

I hope you enjoy, happy reading.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The next morning you wake up abruptly. You move slightly and you hiss in pain, touching your neck to try to relieve the pain caused by the bad position you slept in all night. When you sit up you look at the empty couch next to you. Leon is not there; instead of him are your clean, folded clothes. He must have put them in the dryer while you were still asleep.

You get up to go to the kitchen and find him there sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in his hand as he stares out the window. Although your movements are very quiet, he immediately notices your presence and turns to look at you.

"There's still some coffee left, if you want it." he tells you, taking a sip from his cup.

You nod slightly and walk over to the cabinet, picking up a cup and pouring yourself hot coffee. You sit down at the table next to Leon, who's still looking out the window.

"Don't you feel bad for using these people's things?" you begin, keeping your gaze fixed on the steam coming out of the cup.

"We ate their food, slept on their couch, even used their appliances." you continue, cracking a guilty smile. "Thanks for taking care of my clothes, by the way." you look up at him who's already looking at you.

"A little, yeah." he replies after a while. You nod and go back to looking at your cup before taking a sip of coffee.

You don't know why, but his answer makes you feel a little better. Neither of you feels the need to express what lies behind this brief conversation, which is that what occurred in the lab is partly the cause of what happened to these people. You are unwitting accomplices of someone who decided to ruin their lives. The weight of what happened burdens your consciences, and breaking into the privacy of these people's home, even if by necessity, makes you feel even more like shit.

Or at least, that's how you feel. You take Leon's response as an implicit attempt to let you know that you are in this together. You do this so you don't feel less alone in your self-pity.

"We should go." he tells you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"Right."

After grabbing your clothes from the couch and going upstairs to freshen up, you get dressed and grab whatever you can use. You take some food, water, some clean clothes and hygiene supplies. You make sure you don't overfill your backpack to make it too heavy and put it on your shoulders. Leon is at the door waiting for you with his arms crossed.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes." you answer, holding up the small map you found on the gate blocking the way to the other side of the lake.

As you leave, Leon makes sure there are no zombies waiting for you while you stare at the map trying to get your bearings. The map is precisely and meticulously drawn, despite being small. Therefore, it doesn't take you long to figure out where you are and where you need to go.

"There are two marked x's that are at opposite points in the town," you begin, approaching Leon and showing him the map. "If we split up, we'll be able to reach the gate as quickly as possible."

"Too risky." he replies, shaking his head.

"But it's faster."

"Saving a little time won't do you any good if you're dead."

You sigh and nod. "All right, let's go this way then." you say, pointing the way to your right to reach the nearest marked spot.

You set out, checking from time to time that you are going in the right direction based on the drawings on the map and what you see around you. Even though the town is not very big, it takes you just under an hour to get to the spot marked on the map. Encountering a few zombies along the way did not make it easy for you.

The first one had its back turned, standing still with its head down, grunting and twitching. Leon signaled you to stay still where you were and sneaked up on it, killing it silently with his knife. The same knife that was leaning menacingly against your throat last night.

You also managed to kill stealthily the other zombies you encountered, using rocks as a distraction. You still don't know exactly how many there are, and using noisy weapons could potentially be suicide.

You and Leon look at each other briefly when you find yourself in front of an old barn. You walk up slowly to look around and recheck the map several times to make sure you are in the right place.

"This is it."

You place your hands on the barn door and pull them towards you to open them. You turn to Leon who is peering inside the barn with his gun in hand.

"Stop!" he yells as you move to enter. You immediately do as he says and look at Leon who is now next to you. He points at something at your feet and when you look down you notice a tripwire. You gasp and turn back to him.

"I told you splitting up wouldn't be a great idea." he tells you with a serious expression.

"Yeah..." you answer in a low voice.

It's already the second time in two days that Leon saves your life. Even though you know that it's a stupid feeling to have right now and that the only things you should feel are gratitude towards him and relief that you didn't get blown up, the only thing you actually feel is great embarrassment.

You're much better than that, much more careful than that. Some people paid dearly for your skills, but if it hadn't been for Leon, you would have died ten minutes after setting foot in this stupid little town. He probably doesn't even care, but the thought that he might think you're an amateur bothers you.

Leon steps over the tripwire and slowly enter the barn as you follow him carefully. They are everywhere, at any height, more or less visible.

"This is madness." you say with frustration. You feel your heart pounding with fear of putting your foot in the wrong place and one of your arms ending up in front of Leon's feet like in a Final Destination scene.

"If we stumble into a trap, the whole barn will come down like a Lego tower." Leon says, wiping sweat from his brow as he deactivates yet another tripwire.

"So, we either explode or get crushed to death, got it."

"Well, I don't know about you but I'm planning on surviving."

After what seemed like forever, you finally make it to the other side of the barn where you find a small box resting on a bale of hay. When you open it, inside you find one of the two parts of the gate key. Leon takes it from your hands and positions himself behind you, opening your backpack and slipping the object into one of the many pockets.

Being careful not to trip over the tripwires you left still active, you head to the other point marked on the map. The road is long and under the sun it seems even longer. You look at your watch and realize it's already been three hours since you started your search.

You don't even want to imagine what else awaits you once you cross the lake, what other twisted games whoever is responsible for all this has in store for you. You keep puzzling over who could be behind this mess, and especially what the reason is. And you can't even figure out if you can't give yourself an answer because you've done so many shitty things or because you're so desensitized to everything about your job that you can't think of anything you've done that could actually justify this madness.

When you finally arrive in front of the second point marked on the map, which this time is a small clothing store, you do the same process as before, avoiding tripwires and disabling them when there is no other solution.

When you find the second box, you open your backpack and take the first piece of the key and combine it with the one you found now. You breathe a sigh of relief and smile at Leon, who smiles back.

"Alright, let's go. It will take a while to reach the lake." Leon says, holding the door open for you to leave.

You nod and follow him. You walk down the road you traveled yesterday with one more piece to this complicated puzzle.

But you are immediately interrupted by the loud sound of an explosion. You both turn around and see a cloud of smoke wafting through the area.

"What the fuck." you shout.

Leon takes you by the arm, pulling you away from the road. He takes out his binoculars and looks in the direction of the explosion. "Shit." he curses under his breath.

"What is it?" you ask frantically.

"Your car."

You open your mouth in disbelief and whine. So much for the only way out of this place. Leon keeps looking at the area with his binoculars before he quickly puts them away.

"Take out your shotgun." he tells you. And for the first time since you've met him, he's fucking scared.

"Why?" you ask, afraid.

He looks at you with pursed lips and a worried expression without saying a word. The answer to your question comes after a few seconds, when you hear the grunts and heavy footsteps of hundreds of zombies that have been attracted by the noise of the explosion.

Leon gets up and starts firing his rifle at them, hitting as many of them in the head as possible. You do the same at close range with your shotgun. You kill as many of them as you can but within seconds you are overwhelmed. Leon grabs your arm and begins to run towards the houses. The zombies follow you right away. They're fast, but not as fast as you are.

You go inside a house and shut the door before any of them can reach you, but after seconds they begin to bang at the door trying to tear it down. You hear the grunts of zombies hurling themselves at the door trying to get inside. You lean against it, putting all the strength you have in your body to try to keep them outside as Leon abruptly looks for something to block it.

"I can't hold on much longer." you scream. Your legs begin to shake and your feet slip, slowly losing their grip. Leon struggles to push a bookcase toward the door, and you finally pull away when it's close enough to use it to stop the hundreds of zombies from entering the house where you have taken refuge.

You and Leon are leaning against the bookcase, pushing through to create an additional barrier.

After what seems like an eternity, the incessant noises stop. You and Leon look at each other before he gets up to peer out the window.

"They're all still here," he says quietly, "we can't get out yet."

You slump to the floor, unable to speak. Knowing that the zombies you've encountered so far were all people made you sick, but you still had hope that most of the people who lived in this town had managed to escape. Turns out they didn't. All of them fell victims of the outbreak just like the few you met before. Hundreds of people became mindless beings massing in to strip the flesh off other humans. Nothing of who they were before exists anymore.

You tried to keep your feelings to yourself, tried to cling to hope. But the truth of this dramatic situation has been thrown in your face, and you can't keep it all inside anymore.

"Those things out there, they- they were all people." you say in a low voice, almost whispering. You run your hands over your face and eyes, as if to erase what you have just seen.

Leon looks at you and scoffs. "Yeah, well, it's a little too late to worry about that now, isn't it?"

You raise your head with furrowed eyebrows. Your red eyes look at him confused as tears wet your face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That maybe if you listened to me when I tried to dissuade you this wouldn't have happened." he responds, in a cold but indicting tone.

"You're saying this is my fault?"

"Partly, yeah." he admits.

"I can't believe this." you stand up and walk to the kitchen table, leaning with both hands and lowering your head, your back to Leon. You feel his heavy gaze burn on your back.

He's told you exactly what you've been thinking, what's been weighing on your conscience from the exact moment you set foot in this damn place, what you've been thinking this morning over that steaming cup of coffee, believing you had someone in front of you who understood you. But that someone has been thinking the whole time that everything that happened was solely and exclusively your fault. You thought you had an accomplice in your suffering; instead, he became a perpetrator.

"You should've left the serum to burn in that hellhole like you did with me." he tells you.

You shake your head and turn to look at him. You see anger and contempt in his eyes. Rage begins to grow inside you, too.

You were just doing your job, just as he was. You were both there for the same thing, though for different purposes. Once you had accomplished your mission, you might as well have left him there. After all, he was just an obstacle to you, just like the other idiots who tried to get in your way in that lab.

You're not a good person, you know that, but for once you thought you did the right thing. You had no reason to get him out of there, yet you did it anyway. And now it's being held against you.

"I dragged you out of that building, you fucking jerk." you hiss.

"After you threw me out of a window and then drugged me, which was the reason you had to drag me out of there in the first place." he says, raising his voice and stepping closer to you.

You look at him with the same anger you see in his eyes and thin your lips. "That doesn't erase the fact that I saved you."

Leon looks at you and raises his eyebrows, sniggering. He shakes his head and briefly averts his gaze from yours, before looking at you again with a clenched jaw. "Oh, give me a fucking break. You didn't save anybody. You're just a selfish brat who thinks I owe her shit just because she realized she still had one piece of her long-lost conscience in that dark hole she calls a soul." he hisses.

And silence falls. You look at each other, anger still deep in his eyes. You don't know what to say, you don't know how to respond. You don't have the courage or even the right, because you also know that everything he has told you is the truth. You thought you were somewhat redeemable because you did the right thing, but the truth is that if it were not for you, he would not have even been in danger, just as he reminded you.

You lower your gaze and swallow, no longer able to hold the weight of his eyes. "I'll check if the phone works." you manage to say, walking to the next room.

Leon stays there in front of the barricaded door. He has told you everything he wanted to tell you from the moment he woke up outside the lab. He brought out the resentment he felt for you and your selfishness.

Then why does he feel this way?

Your look after he yelled that last sentence at you confused him, made him feel guilty.

He walks over to the table where you were leaning a few minutes ago and sits down, looking at the hallway where you disappeared after the fight.

The fact that you didn't strike back caught him off guard. He cannot understand why you reacted the way you did, nor can he understand why seeing you like this made him feel so fucking bad.

It was not his intention to tell you what he said with such rudeness. He doesn't get that angry usually. He has always been a rational person who can solve the situation calmly and think well before saying something. But with you it's different, you stir up emotions in him that he doesn't usually feel, or at least not with this intensity.

And now he's leaning on the table, regretting being so mean, unable to get your defeated look out of his head. Unable to understand why he feels this way when he knows he has a right to be mad at you.

"Fuck." he mumbles as he gets up to come to you.

Notes:

Well... this was supposed to end differently but I love chaos so I decided to leave you hanging lmaoooo. Y'all knew this conversation had to come up sooner or later. And Leon was mean as fuck (rightfully so if you ask me, girlie tried to kill him I would be pissed too lmfao). BUT something in him is indeed changing, but you have to wait just a little for that.
I know this kinda was a filler chapter and it's not that great, but I really hope you enjoyed it either way. I promise the next chapters are gonna be better.

Thank you so much for the love and the kudos, I love your comments so much and I hope you'll let me know your thoughts about this one as well.

See you very soon.

Chapter 10: Partners

Summary:

You finally reach the other side of the lake

Notes:

Here's chapter 10. It's a long boy.

I apologize in advace for mistakes.

Enjoy :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You approach the phone and pick up the handset. You hear the noise on the other end and breathe a sigh of relief. You start dialing a number; the only number you know by heart, the number of the only person you want to talk to now, a person you have to tell the truth to.

The beep seems to last an eternity, but you finally hear a familiar voice.

"Hello?"

"It's me." you say in a low voice. You still have a lump in your throat from your conversation with Leon.

The man says your name in a concerned tone. You can tell from the fact that he did not address you by the usual nickname that he's disappointed. You don't blame him, since you disappeared for days without saying anything.

"Are you alright?"

"No."

Your gaze is fixed on your fingers intertwining with the curled telephone cord. You bite your lip to try to hold back the tears that threaten to come out.

"What's going on?"

"I lied to you, Johnny." you confess all in one breath, afraid that if you think about it for one more second you might hang up. On the other side you hear only his calm breathing.

"When I came back from Canada, I lied to everyone. I said the serum had been destroyed, but I actually had it. I thought I had hidden it so that no one would ever find it, but I was wrong." Your tears wet the phone numbers. You run a finger over them to wipe them away.

"Someone took it and used it on innocent people. Someone evil playing games with me and forcing me to see all this. This happened because of me, it's all my fault."

Your silent cry becomes loud. Your sobs are uncontrollable, you struggle to speak. Your face is flushed, your tears wet it completely. You cannot remember the last time you cried like this, the last time you externalized your emotions instead of stifling them inside.

Johnny is still silent on the other side of the receiver. He listens to your desperate crying, letting you vent, because he knows you need it.

On the other side of the door, meanwhile, is Leon. He wanted to come to you to apologize, to tell you that he went too far. But when he saw you, you were already talking on the phone. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, however, he stopped anyway, watching your back from the doorframe. And he's still there, quietly behind you, listening to you cry. He cannot see your face, but he can imagine it. Your confession of guilt and the crying that followed made him feel even more like shit.

He leans his back against the wall by the door and sighs, closing his eyes as he makes himself an unwanted participant in your vulnerabilities.

Seeing you like this, however, has changed something in the way he thinks about you. For once you're no longer the hard, cold, stoic, and always pissed off one. Now you're the fragile one, the one expressing her feelings. He had never seen this side of you, and for the first time since he has known you, he feels something else for you, something completely different from the hatred he thought he felt or the mutual tolerance you managed to achieve. This time he would like to comfort you; he would like to stop making you feel this way.

But he tells himself that it must be because this moment of weakness of yours was due to something he said, and therefore he feels guilty. It has to be that.

He gives you one last look before returning to the other room and giving you your space. He wants to leave you alone for a while, he wants to give you your privacy before he comes to talk to you.

After a few minutes, the crying subsides, the sobbing decreases, and your breathing returns to normal. You take deep breaths and wipe your face with your free hand. You already know that later you will have a big headache and swollen eyes, but you feel better.

"Oh, pumpkin." Johnny says to you in a soft voice. You hear him sigh and remain silent for a few seconds before speaking.

"You shouldn't have lied to me; on that I think we agree." he tells you. You nod even though he cannot see you.

"But please don't blame yourself for what happened, you couldn't have known. Listen to me, pumpkin. It's not your fault, you hear me?"

"Yes." you say, in a feeble voice, still broken by crying.

"I'm not leaving you in the hands of a son of a bitch who's trying to hurt you. Tell me where you are, I'll join you as soon as possible." he tells you, and you hear him moving, perhaps looking for something where he can mark your location.

"No, Johnny, please. I don't want to put you in danger too."

"Nonsense. I don't want you to go through this alone."

"I'm not alone." you confess.

Johnny remains silent for a few seconds, stunned by your statement. He knows you don't have many contacts outside of the people you work with, and certainly none who are fit to participate in a suicide mission like this. "Is that so?"

"Yes."

"Who's with you?"

You turn towards the door thinking about Leon in the other room. You think about your relationship, the fact that he probably hates you, the fact that if you weren't absolutely indispensable to him, he probably would have already tried to even the score. And perhaps, unlike you, he would have succeeded.

Yet despite that, you know you couldn't have a better companion for this mission. You know that he's not a double agent, that he doesn't backstab his allies, that he's a kind-hearted person who cares about the well-being of those around him.

You remain silent for a few seconds before answering. "Someone I'm pretty sure I can trust."

"Pretty sure?" he asks you, in an inquisitive tone. He's trying to make you think about your words. He wants you to figure out if you're really sure of what you're saying.

"I can trust him." you say confidently, still looking at the door.

"I guess that's all I can get out of you." he chuckles.

Hearing his laughter comforts you, makes you briefly forget the mess in your head. You smile. "I'm afraid so."

"Alright, I trust you. Kill that bastard for me too, will you?"

"Fuck yeah I will." you say with full enthusiasm.

"That's my girl." he laughs, and you laugh as well. A genuine and hearty laugh after a long time.

"Be safe, pumpkin." he tells you in a soft voice. You smile.

You were afraid to make this call, you were afraid to tell him the truth, you were afraid he would not want to talk to you for betraying his trust. Maybe you were afraid that he would also tell you that everything that's happening to you is your fault. You still think that. You think Leon was right about everything he said, from the first word to the last. You admit, though, that even though you will never be able to believe otherwise, you wished you had someone to tell you that you're not the one to blame.

You know that Johnny, just like Leon, believes what he told you. You have heard two conflicting but equally sincere opinions. And you needed to hear both.

"Thank you, Johnny."

"Anytime."

You hang up and take a deep breath. You look at the door again, unsure whether to reach Leon. You decide, however, to avoid it for the time being.

You take a look around the living room. You look at the photos of a happy family on the piece of furniture next to the TV and wonder if they are among those who chased you here. You close your eyes and shake your head, trying to get rid of the thought.

You walk to the balcony and open the French door. A gust of wind sweeps over you, and you close your eyes appreciating the feeling of fresh air on your still damp face.

You lean against the railing and gaze at the view in front of you. The garden is lush and full of flowers. Although it's still wonderful, the grass is overgrown. In the middle is a little white porch with a small table and two chairs. One chair is slightly displaced and there are still two cups on the table, left that way by people who thought they would be back.

You stay there for you don't know how long, watching the little birds flying over the flowers and the wind gently moving the grass.

You're distracted by the sound of the door opening, and after a few seconds you see Leon pop out with two bottles of beer in his hands. You look at each other without saying anything. He hands you the bottle before standing beside you, leaning against the railing as well. You take a sip of cold beer and return to looking at the garden.

You and Leon don't speak. Breaking the silence is the sound of the wind and of his fingers nervously tapping on the bottle. You can tell he has something to say, so you wait patiently for him to talk.

"It's very quiet." he finally says after a while. You look at him out of the corner of your eye. His gaze is still fixed in front of him. He holds the bottle firmly with both hands.

You lower your gaze to your bottle, removing the wet label with your fingernail. "Yeah, seems like they all left."

Leon nods slightly and you return to silence again, which is short-lived this time. He sighs and turns to you, one elbow still resting on the railing. You look at him. "I just wanted to apologize for what I said before. It was rude and uncalled for, and I am truly sorry."

You smile slightly before taking another sip of beer. "You know, golden boy, you should never apologize for telling the truth."

"But it isn't. That was just me being an asshole and dumping all my anger on you because I needed to feel like my failure was somehow justified." he begins. You watch him carefully. "And if it is the truth, then I'm also to blame for what happened here." Leon lowers his gaze and thins his lips. You look at him with a confused expression, your eyebrows furrowed. You say nothing, waiting for him to carry on. He returns your gaze and sighs. "I had a chance to destroy that serum, but I didn't."

He confesses to you how he really feels. It gives you confirmation that what you thought this morning was in fact true. He, like you, also blames himself. And you can't help but feel even more guilty, being the direct cause of what he calls a failure, but which is only the result of your doing.

"It's not the same, though."

"It is. Even if it took you a while to get there, you were trying to do the right thing and give it to me." he tells you in a soft voice, completely different from the one with which he addressed you a few hours ago. As a matter of fact, completely different from any tone he has used to speak to you so far. For the first time you hear something other than disdain.

"Unless you were planning on screwing me over once more." he chuckles. You turn to him and smile.

Your smile quickly fades and you look at him intensely, your eyes full of regret and honesty. "I wasn't." you tell him, almost in a low voice. Leon smiles slightly and nods. He believes you.

"I think we should go after who really caused this and make up for our mistakes," he says after a while. "What do you say, partner?"

You look at him and sigh before looking ahead again. You know that you can no longer save the people who lived in this town, but you can still do something to save the other innocent people that this monster plans to hurt. It's time to use your pain to your advantage, so you can motivate yourself to change. It's time to turn it into willpower.

"Let's go get that son of a bitch."

Leon smiles at you again and pats you lightly on the back before going back inside. You grab your stuff and move the closet from the door before slowly walking out holding your weapons. All the zombies have moved away, moving in groups as if they were migrating together. You meet some of them on the road and kill them silently.

Finally, you get back on the road to reach the gate. The early afternoon sun is scorching. You can already feel your skin burning from the sunburn.

After a couple of hours, you arrive in front of the gate again. The road was long and the walk difficult, but you're ready to face whatever awaits you across the lake.

You take your backpack off your shoulders and grab the key. Leon watches you and takes it when you hand it to him. You exchange a look of mutual understanding, and he nods at you before inserting the key into the lock and opening the gate.

Beyond it you notice a small boat on the shore. Leon moves out of the way to let you pass and when you get in, he extends an arm as protection in case you slip. When he gets in too, he starts the engine and you set off for the other side of the lake.

The vegetation around you is thick. The air gives you relief after suffering the heat during the whole walk. You turn toward Leon who is checking the direction of the boat. His gaze is pointed straight ahead, his hair moving with the breeze.

The closer you get to the other side, the clearer the view becomes. In front of you are more buildings, as if you were reaching another town. What catches your attention – and Leon's as well when you turn questioningly to him – is an imposing building in the center, styled completely differently from everything else around it. It's similar to the lab in Canada where you recovered the serum, but it looks even bigger.

When you're almost near the shore, Leon turns off the engine and uses the oars to avoid attracting enemies. You get out of the boat and both you and Leon hold your weapons and look at each other seriously.

"Stay sharp." he tells you.

You nod and start walking ready to find out what awaits you. The atmosphere is different than in downtown Jacksondale. The buildings on this side of the lake seem to be hiding something more important. Although there are numerous houses on this side as well, it does not give the idea that it was a neighborhood inhabited by ordinary people.

You know the serum, or whatever is left of it, is in one of those buildings, and you can bet it's in the huge building in front of you. You walk along the main road towards it. The silence is deafening, frightening, as if something will happen at any moment.

And it's just then that you hear the sound of a gun reloading behind you. You and Leon turn sharply and are confronted by dozens of men pointing their guns at you. Or rather, at Leon.

"Remember what the boss said, boys. We need her alive." one of them says with a creepy grin plastered on his red face.

You stand in front of Leon as a shield, knowing that if you're there they can't hurt him. You hear Leon sighing behind you. The man from before grunts, still with that smirk on his face.

After a few seconds you hear the sound of something landing at your feet. When you look down you see a grenade. You gasp, before you can react Leon has already pushed you to the other side. You land with a somersault before the grenade goes off, raising a huge dust cloud and muffling your hearing for a few minutes.

"What the fuck are you doing? Didn't you hear what I said?" the man turns to his teammate who threw the grenade. You run to the nearest wall for cover and wait for the dust cloud to dissipate to make sure Leon is okay. When you finally see him lowered behind a tree, you breathe a sigh of relief and focus on the men trying to hurt him.

You fire your gun, managing to hit two of them. The men are all wearing bulletproof vests, so you have to concentrate on aiming to hit them on the head. You fire many shots, missing several, until you pull the trigger multiple times, but the magazine is empty.

"Shit." you curse. You turn to a clearly struggling Leon, with all shots aimed at him. Despite this, he still manages to take out a couple of men, seizing the opportunity.

You sigh and walk around the house you've been hiding behind, getting as close to the men as you can so you can use your shotgun. When you get close to them you manage to kill two of them with your knife, taking advantage of their attention directed only towards Leon.

But when one of them notices your presence, he points his gun at you. He hesitates to shoot, struggling to decide whether to follow orders or save his life, and this indecision of his gives you time to grab your shotgun and shoot him.

Only two men left, including what appeared to be the leader of the group, the one who reminded everyone what the orders were. You aim your shotgun at him, but when you fire there are no more shots. The man cackles and moves menacingly towards you. You step back and take the bullets from your pocket, trying to reload as fast as possible. But the man reaches you and snatches the weapon from your hands, throwing it away. You draw your knife, ready to face the menacing man in front of you.

A fight ensues between you two. He fights with his hands, you with your knife. You both punch, dodge, and parry as best you can. The man hits you a few times, but the last hit is yours. Blood wet his face after you cut him. The man backs away, covering his face and screaming in pain. You take your chance and lunge at him, knocking him down and finishing him.

Meanwhile, Leon takes on the last man standing and comes out to improve his aim. The man, however, is faster than him and fires a shot, hitting him in the arm. Leon groans in pain and holds his arm.

You're still kneeling on the ground as you watch the scene. Leon has let his guard down in pain as the man takes another weapon from his holster.

You scramble to grab the gun of the man you just killed and aim it at the one in front of you, who already has his gun pointed in front of him, shooting him in the head and killing him seconds before he could shoot Leon.

You place both hands on the ground, catching your breath before getting up and running towards Leon, who looks at you with a broken expression.

"Thank you." he says in a low voice, almost in a whisper.

His hand is tight on his bleeding arm. You move it, observing the wound. Luckily the bullet only grazed him.

"Sit down." you tell him, pulling your backpack off your shoulders and opening it in search of your first aid kit.

"I'm fine." he tells you, shaking his head.

You look at him and sigh. "I said sit down."

Leon smiles slightly. "Yes ma'am." he says before sitting on the ground.

You grab the bottle of water to clean the wound as best you can. The scratch isn't serious, but it's worse than you thought and needs some stitching.

"It'll hurt a little." you tell him. Leon looks at you with a serious expression and nods.

You rinse your hands and take the needle and thread. You take a deep breath and look at Leon briefly before starting. He looks at you, letting you know he's ready. You stick the needle into the wound. Leon closes his eyes and purses his lips, grunting slightly in pain. His other hand grips his thigh so hard his knuckles are white.

Stitching without anesthesia is one of the most painful things you can endure, but Leon managed to bear it as much as he could, demonstrating how strong he is, even on the inside.

You take a bandage and begin to put it around his arm, squeezing it tightly but not too much. Leon watches you closely as you tend to his wound.

"You're good at this." he says.

You look at him briefly and smile. "Yeah, well, you have to if you do dangerous jobs like ours," you begin, making sure the bandage stays in place. "Besides that, I went to nursing school for a few years."

Leon looks at you surprised. "What happened?"

"I was broke, I worked every day, but I still couldn't pay for my studies, and I was in debt," you sit across from him, putting all the supplies you used for his wound back in your backpack.

"One day a friend of mine offered me this job. I had to recover some antiques to resell them on the black market. Obviously, it was illegal work, but it paid very well. So, I started accepting more and more until I ended up where I am today."

Leon looks at you without saying anything. You read in his eyes, though, that he's sorry for what happened to you.

"I don't have a compelling story like yours." you say with a grin on your face.

Leon smiles and nods. "I forgot that you already know everything about me."

You stand up, taking your backpack and putting it back on your shoulders before offering him a hand to help him up. "It's not my fault you didn't read up on me like you should have, rookie."

He takes your hand, accepting your help. "I almost like it better when you call me golden boy."

You both smile, looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds. You're the first to look away, clearing your throat and turning to the huge building in front of you.

"We should go."

"I'm behind you." he tells you.

And so, you resume your journey towards the truth.

Notes:

They FINALLY reached the other side of the lake and they're starting to like each other. I'd say we're good.
This was long, I hope you forgave me for leaving you with a cliffhanger last time.

I'm not sure about it, but it may take a little longer for the next chapter. I'm graduating from uni this week and I'm pretty busy with preparations. So, I guess when the next update comes I'll officially no longer be a student, but rather an unemployed gal lmfao.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this long ass chapter (and I hope it was better than the previous one). As always, thank you all for the love and please let me know what you think about it.

See you next time!

Chapter 11: Not That Bad

Summary:

You find a way to enter the huge building, not before taking a well deserved rest.

Notes:

I'm back y'all! And so is Ao3! When I tell you I shat my pants when the crash lasted for more than 24 hours lmfaoo. But fortunately the amazing volunteers fixed the problem and the site is up and running again.

And so, here's chapter 11. Hope you enjoy. Happy reading.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You start walking, Leon is behind you, but after a few feet you stop and turn around to look at the bodies of the men you've taken out.

You run towards them, Leon is still standing behind you and looking at you confused, but after a few seconds he catches up with you. He doesn't even need to ask you why you turned back when he watches you go through the men's pockets.

You don't want to leave anything to chance, and they might have important information. But other than a radio and a key with a key chain with the number 9 on it, you have found nothing else.

You stand back up and look at Leon. Your gaze falls first on his neutral expression and then on the bloody bandage on his arm. Either he's still on the adrenaline rush that allows him to feel no pain, or he has an admirable and surprising tenacity and endurance. And judging by the way he withstood a needle piercing his skin several times, you wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter.

"This may come in handy." you tell him, showing him the radio. Leon nods and so you head back towards the huge building in front of you. You look around several times to avoid being surprised again by someone who wants to take you out. Take Leon out, actually.

You know that he's here for a very specific reason, and you know that you couldn't have talked him out of it even if you got down on your knees and begged him, but you can't help but feel guilty that he's now become the target of a group of madmen. And now, to make matters worse, he's also wounded.

The sun is beginning to set and the air to become cooler. The wind blows lightly giving you relief from the muggy heat of the whole day. You and Leon are silent, the sound of your footsteps and the chirping of crickets is all you hear.

You look at Leon out of the corner of your eye. You're reminded of your conversation this afternoon in front of the beautiful, now abandoned garden. You never expected to receive an apology, especially since you thought you didn't deserve one. Actually, you're still not sure you do. But you can't deny that it made you feel good. You felt that you were facing the same kind and understanding Leon who wanted to rescue you from that lab. You felt like you saw a glimpse of his true personality.

You can't help but admit to yourself that right now you don't mind his company. You know, though, that you're not friends and probably never will be. You don't even know if you want to be friends with him, really.

You're casual business partners, and that's all you're going to be. When this is over, you will go your separate ways. You're glad, though, that there will be one less person to hate you in this world.

Finally, you find yourself in front of the building. Up close it's even bigger than you expected. You look around to make sure there are no guards and approach the gate. When you try to open it, it won't budge. You look up and notice a flashing red light indicating that the gate is electrically locked. You sigh and turn to Leon, who throws his head back before huffing.

"We have to look for the electrical panel."

"Is there anything simple about this mission?" he tells you.

You snicker. "I highly doubt it."

You walk around the building reaching the back. Your gaze falls on the houses across the street. They look like expensive houses, completely different from those across the lake. You notice that they're all numbered, and you remember the key you found earlier.

You have come to seek answers, but everything you see raises even more questions in you. What is the connection between this part of the town and the one across the lake? Who are those people you killed earlier and who do they work for? And why are they entitled to such fancy homes?

When you find yourself in front of who brought you here you will have the answer to all your doubts, but you have to find them first.

A few feet away from the building is the exterior electrical control room. You keep alert and looking around, suspicious of the lack of guards on the entire perimeter surrounding the building. You fear that it might be a trap, but to get inside you have to turn off the power, so you have no choice.

In front of you are a plethora of wires and buttons. You and Leon exchange a glance not sure which one is the right one to open the gate.

"We'll just have to try, right?" you ask Leon.

He looks at you with thin lips and sighs. "I guess so."

You nod slightly before turning towards the electrical panel. As you bring your hand closer to one of the many buttons, the radio you stole from the guy who punched you catches your ear.

"We found the bodies." a female voice says.

You take the radio from your pocket and hold it in your hand. You and Leon exchange a worried look.

"The whole patrol?" a man replies.

"Affirmative."

"Fuck." the man curses. You can hear him sigh. "Alright, you know what the orders are. She has to go in by herself. The boss has thought of everything, you don't need to get in the way. When you see them, just take him out. He wants her alone."

"Copy that." the woman says.

He. Now you're sure that it's a man. The news doesn't surprise you, and it certainly doesn't make it any easier to figure out who it is.

The bastard still wants to play with you, he doesn't care to see you right away. He wants you to find him. He enjoys watching you struggle as you try to overcome all the obstacles he puts in your way.

But he didn't expect to find Leon with you. He's an inconvenience. The men you killed earlier must have been watching you before they attacked and must have warned him that you're not alone. The presence of the unexpected guest is not very welcome to him, and he can't wait to get rid of Leon so that he can continue playing with you and you only.

You put the radio away and leave the control room. Leon looks at you confused. "Where are you going?"

"He's waiting for me, right? Then let him wait a little longer." you say, taking the keys you found in the red-faced man's possession and shaking them in front of Leon.

He wants to play, but it's up to you to decide when this game starts.

You head towards house number 9 and Leon follows you without opposing. On the contrary, even if he doesn't tell you, he's relieved to be able to rest. The pain in his arm is getting worse and worse even if he doesn't show it. Besides, the house looks really nice, and he doesn't mind enjoying it even for just one night, since he's the target of everyone in the next building and might not even leave this place alive.

When you open the door, you find yourself in front of a magnificent, luxurious house. It's certainly very different from Leon's apartment. Not that he lacks money, but he's hardly ever at home, buying an expensive one would be a waste.

When you turn to him you have a big smile on your face. Leon thinks this is the first time he's seen you genuinely smile. And after hearing you cry this afternoon it pleases him to see you like this.

You go around the house admiring its full beauty. Leon turns to the door and locks it, including the chain, before sitting on the couch and closing his eyes.

This house is certainly very different from the one where you slept the other night. For starters, Leon didn't have to clean a long streak of blood off the floor this time.

"How's the arm?" you ask him. Leon opens his eyes and looks at you. You're leaning against the kitchen door with your arms folded and you watch him apprehensively.

"Could be better." he smiles slightly.

"Why don't you go take a shower so I can change your bandage?"

"I can do it myself, you know." Leon leans forward, running a hand through his hair.

"I know, but it's kinda my fault you got hurt so I want to make up for it somehow." you tell him.

The smile on his face fades and he shakes his head. "You don't have to-"

"Please." you interrupt him.

Leon looks at you and nods slightly. "Okay."

You watch him as he makes his way to the bathroom and closes the door behind him. You go to the kitchen and open the fridge looking for something to eat. To your delight, it's full, and that leaves you spoiled for choice. You don't mind eating that asshole's food at all. He was an accomplice of the monster that is behind everything that's going on. As far as you're concerned, everything he owned he didn't deserve.

After a few minutes Leon enters the kitchen. His hair is still wet and dripping onto his clean clothes that he must have gotten from the asshole's closet. The shirt he wears is slightly tight, having a more defined physique. Your gaze falls briefly on his chest, but you quickly look away.

In his hand he has everything needed to clean his wound. He sets the disinfectant and bandage on the table before sitting down next to you. The wound is still fresh, but luckily, he doesn't seem to have any infection. Leon watches you intently as you gently disinfect his wound. The other hand lightly squeezes his bicep to keep his arm still. Your hair falls over your concentrated face, you bite your lip lightly and swallow. Leon observes everything, every little thing you do, every movement.

He doesn't understand why he feels this way. Hell, even if he would have never killed you, last night he held a knife to your throat and today he can't take his eyes off you.

In such a short time he was able to see you in a new light, he saw a part of you that he didn't know existed. He still doesn't trust you completely, but he knows you've always been sincere since you set off on this mission. Seeing you like that this afternoon made him realize that you're not what you want others to believe you are, that you're actually a good person. He feels stupid for feeling like this, though, for changing his mind about you so quickly. No wonder Ada used him so easily.

"All done." you say, putting the bandage on the table.

"Thank you." he tells you. You smile at him slightly.

"Do you mind if I ask who you were talking to on the phone earlier?" you look at him with furrowed eyebrows. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I came looking for you and-"

"Don't worry." you interrupt him. "I was talking to Johnny, my partner."

Leon nods. "Have you, um, been together a long time?" he asks you. He immediately regrets asking you this question. He doesn't want you to think he's a busybody. He's just not great at making conversation. After all, he doesn't talk about much with the other agents other than work.

You look at him and chuckle shaking your head. "My business partner."

And now he feels like an idiot.

"I don't have much time for relationships." you say, picking at the skin of your thumb. "Or any skills, for that matter."

Leon snickers. "That makes two of us."

You look at him in surprise. "You? Really?"

Leon looks at you and nods. Outside of a few one night stands, he hasn't been in a serious relationship in years. Not that he didn't try, it just didn't work out. They'd either turn him down or dump him after a while. Maybe he's just not fit for romantic relationships. "Why?"

"You know, you're, um, good looking. And you're kind and protective. Sounds good to me." you tell him.

Leon looks down and shakes his head. He's clearly embarrassed and he doesn't know what to say. He's not used to receiving compliments. He looks at you and purses his lips, running a hand through his hair.

You look back and smile. His cheeks are flushed. "You're cocky and a little annoying sometimes, but you're not so bad." you say to ease the tension and embarrassment that has arisen.

Leon chuckles. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should." you say, getting up to make something to eat.

Leon looks at you and, even if he doesn't tell you, he thinks you're not that bad either.

Notes:

So, this was another filler chapter. A little less action and a lot more bonding. I hope you don't think their relationship is too rushed, but I don't want to make you suffer for chapters and chapters. Also, we're kinda halfway through the story right now, so yeah, A LOT is going to happen in the next chapters, never a dull moment. That's why this one is kinda chill. Let them rest in that beautiful home before shit goes down.

Hope you enjoyed! I'm going to make you wait less for the next one, I promise! Let me know what you think please, I love your comments!

See ya!

Chapter 12: Something That Never Happened

Summary:

You and Leon finally enter the large building.

Notes:

I'm back guys!
This is a loooooong chapter, perhaps the longest one yet.

I like this one, I hope you do to.

Enjoy. :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Leon suddenly wakes up. His breathing is labored, sweat beads on his forehead. He sits up in bed and sighs, running his hand over his face. He looks at the clock on the nightstand; it's 4 a.m. He gets up, knowing that he won't be able to sleep any longer. This always happens to him when he has a nightmare, and even when he tries to go back to sleep, he just tosses and turns in bed.

His nightmares are frequent. They usually make him relive what he went through: Raccon City, Spain, everything he has seen and endured in his years working for the government. Tonight, however, he dreamed about his parents, or rather their death. Though he did not witness it, the account is etched in his mind and comes to life in his nightmares. He couldn't help it; when he joined the police, it was the first thing he looked up in the archives. He went home that night and drank himself into unconsciousness.

He goes into the bathroom and takes off the bandage from his arm before sliding under the cool water of the shower. When he gets out, he looks at himself in the mirror for a few seconds, noticing the many scratches and stubble on his chin. He runs his hand over it, wincing at the feel of his rough face. He opens the drawers in search of a razor and shaving cream. He finds them, but not before coming across a series of small bottles filled with antidepressants. He takes one, turns it over in his fingers, and reads the name of the person to whom the prescription was given: Adam Davis. The man who attacked you with a smile. Now he can put a name to that face. With a sigh, he puts the small bottle back in the cabinet and picks up the shaving supplies. He runs the razor slowly and carefully over his face, the only sound being the wind and the razor in the water as he rinses it off. It's the first time in several days that he has taken the time to take care of himself.

He returns to his room and dresses before heading to the kitchen. As he crosses the hall, he passes the room where you sleep, the master bedroom. The door is ajar, the light from the hallway illuminating you as you sleep. He watches you briefly as he stops to close the door and give you some privacy.

He takes from your backpack the radio you stole from the man he now knows is called Adam and turns it on, listening expectantly for information. He moves the curtain to observe the building in front of the house, careful not to draw attention to himself. From his position, he can only see the back of the building, has a clear view of the electrical panel you tried to tamper with yesterday, but cannot see the gate. He has no choice but to listen to the radio, so he sits with his arms crossed, waiting for something useful.

The sun has been up for several hours when he hears the sound of the shower. He takes a look at his watch and realizes it's already 9. He gets up from the table, grabs a cup from the cupboard, and pours you the coffee he just made.

Without a second thought, he grabs a frying pan from the cupboard and two eggs and bacon from the fridge and starts cooking. Then he sets the plate next to your cup and sits back down, taking a sip from his.

After a few minutes, you arrive. Your hair is damp and falls over your shoulders. Leon turns to you, you smile slightly, and he smiles back.

"Good morning." you say, yawning.

"Good morning."

"Oh, wow. Thank you." you say with a big smile as you notice the steaming breakfast on the table. Leon looks at you and smiles again.

"Have you already eaten?"

"Yes." he lies. You nod as you take a bite of your eggs.

"There are five of them guarding the gate," Leon begins. You look away from your plate and watch him, listening intently to what he has to say. "They have a key card to open the gate and they take turns every hour." Leon places his cup on the table and leans forward, his elbows on the table. You watch him carefully as you finish your breakfast.

"We'll split up. You'll go to the electrical panel and turn off the power momentarily, forcing some of them to investigate why. At that point, you'll deal with them as quietly as possible. Although there will be many of them, you're capable, and they cannot harm you. When you got rid of them, turn the power back on. This will make those left outside the gate think that the situation is back to normal, and they will let down their guard. At that point, I'll come out and take care of the rest of them before stealing their key card. If all goes well and we can get rid of them quietly, we'll have an hour to search for information before they even realize we've broken in."

You look at him and smile slightly. "You've really thought of everything."

"I had some free time." he replies, smiling back at you.

You get up to put your plate and cup in the sink, and as you approach it you notice that the pan he used to make breakfast is there, but his plate is not, even though he told you he had already eaten. You frown in confusion and turn to him, who's looking out the window. You smile unconsciously before placing your plate in the sink.

You turn back to him, resting your hands behind you. "I'll go to get my things."

Leon looks away from the window and turns to you. "Good."

You walk towards the hallway, but your name spoken in a low voice behind you stops you. You turn to Leon, who looks at you seriously, still sitting at the table with his hands crossed. "I know your priority is to find the man who did this; you're here for your revenge. But I'm here to stop him from doing what he did again, to find information and data and get rid of it so it can never be used again. And if that means we have to part ways, then we'll do just that."

You look at him and sigh. It's true that you're here to find the man who brought you here, the man who forced you to play his sick game. But he's waiting for you, he's not going anywhere. And you too, like Leon, want to prevent other innocent people from falling victim to the atrocities of a mad man.

"I'll follow you." you say confidently. Leon cracks a smile and nods slightly.

You take your things and Leon waits for you at the door. You look at each other before you leave, ready to carry out the plan he has worked out in detail. You go to the electrical control room, Leon goes to the entrance of the building and hides behind the hedge, waiting for your signal to attack.

You arrive at the control panel and take a deep breath before turning off the power. You hide behind the door and wait for the guards to arrive. When they do, you come out and find yourself standing in front of three men. They point their guns at you, but hesitate to pull the trigger, knowing that doing so would be against their orders. You charge at them, engaging them in hand-to-hand combat, avoiding using your weapon to draw attention, just as Leon told you. Your movements are fluid, calculated, quick. Even though there are three of them, they can't keep up with you, and when you disarm them, they find it even more difficult to do so.

They're inexperienced, slow, frightened. Men who have had no training at all and who seem to have been entrusted with a weapon and told to stand guard. You don't know if this is also part of the mysterious man's plan, but you can't help but find it odd.

When all three are knocked out, you return to the electrical panel and turn the power back on, giving Leon the signal. Then you run to the entrance and see him fighting the two remaining men from behind a wall. It reminds you of the first time you saw him, when you watched him from the doorjamb of a room on the second floor of that damned lab. But this time it's different. This time you watch him with admiration, and even a little concern, because his life, unlike yours, is in danger. But just like in that room weeks ago, he manages to get rid of the men without breaking a sweat.

You run up to him and you look at each other. "Well done." he tells you, panting.

"You too."

Leon bends down and looks for the key card in the pocket of one of the guys he took out. When he finally finds it, he shows it to you before tapping it a few times on his palm and walking over to the closed gate. He swipes the key on the reader and the light turns green, finally granting you access to the huge building where you're sure to find the answers to all your questions.

You walk slowly towards the door of the building, holding your guns in case you run into more goons trying to take Leon out. When you enter, you find yourself in front of the reception area, but there's no one there to greet you. The lights are on, but there's not a soul in sight. The silence is deafening, the atmosphere eerie. A large sign grabs your attention: JacksonPharm. You run behind the reception desk looking for information. You open every drawer, check every file on the computer, but find nothing.

Meanwhile, Leon is concentrating on the map of the building on the wall. "It says here the archive is on the fifth floor, maybe there's something there."

You look at him, frown and cross your arms. "I don't think they would hide such important information in an archive marked on the map on the entrance wall."

"Worth a try."

You sigh and nod, following him to the stairs at the end of the corridor to reach the fifth floor. You go up slowly, alert, but the building seems deserted. You huff and start to pick up the pace, passing Leon on the stairs.

Sounds like a joke to you. A building guarded by five men, the building the bastard desperately wanted you to enter to join him and feed his madness, but it's completely empty. You climb the stairs in anger, fed up. And because of your thoughts you didn't notice the noises coming from the fourth floor. Leon grabs your arm and pulls you towards him, pinning you between the wall and his body. He puts a finger to his lips to tell you to be quiet before peering out from the wall. At that moment, you notice the sound of heavy footsteps crossing the corridor and you sigh, cursing yourself for letting your guard down and letting your emotions get the best of you.

When he's sure that the men are gone, he looks at you with a stern expression, as if to scold you. But he says nothing and continues to climb the stairs to the fifth floor. You bite your lip and sigh before following him, this time getting up slowly and staying behind him.

When you get to the fifth floor, you start looking for the archive. The floors are huge, full of rooms that are all the same, with white walls and doors. You walk past each room and read the small sign above each door to find the right one, and after a few minutes you find yourselves in front of the archive. You and Leon exchange a quick glance before opening the door. The lights are off, and when Leon flips the switch, you find yourselves in front of computers with huge screens. On the central screen is a folder with your name on it.

"What the hell." you hear Leon cursing softly behind you.

You approach the computer, and your hands shake as you click on the folder containing a single file called Project 275. The file contains a detailed description of how they created this town by moving the families of dozens of renowned scientists who were offered jobs at the new state-of-the-art lab called JacksonPharm. Little did the scientists know that they would be forced to replicate deadly serums and viruses, and that their families would be the guinea pigs for the experiments. That explains the whole town full of zombies. They were the wives, husbands, and children of the scientists forced to work here.

"That's fucking crazy." you say, still struggling to digest what you've read.

"He wanted you to read this," Leon turns to you. "Why?"

You sigh and shake your head. "I don't know."

The silence of the room is broken by the sound of the radio. Leon takes it out of his pocket and holds it in his hand.

"They're in the building. The boss says they're probably on the fifth floor right now," you and Leon look at each other with worried expressions. You look at your watch, wondering how they found out you were already inside after only half an hour since the guards changed shifts. "Plans have changed. Kill him, sedate her, and take her to one of the experiment rooms on the twelfth floor. If she can get out of there, she'll do it on her own. He's in the way and the boss is getting tired."

Your attention is drawn to the sound of heavy footsteps climbing the stairs. The footsteps of a much larger team of men than the one you faced before, and certainly more armed. You take Leon by the arm and run out of the room to the stairs and up before the men can reach you. You go up several floors without ever letting go of Leon's arm. When you reach the eighth floor, you run down the corridor and enter one of the first rooms you see, hearing the footsteps getting closer and the voices getting louder. You take a quick look around before you start to close the door.

Leon gasps, "No, wait!" he shouts. But you already closed the door. Leon sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"What?" you ask confused. He points to a spot on the wall behind you. When you turn around, you see a screen with a two-hour countdown. You frown, still unable to figure out what the countdown is referring to. But then it dawns on you, you widen your eyes before rushing to the door, which, as you suspected, is closed shut.

"Shit." you curse.

"Nice work, really." Leon says sarcastically and starts to walk around the room with his hands on his hips.

You turn to him and glare at him, scoffing. "How the hell was I supposed to know?"

"You could've stopped when I told you to." Leon snaps back, stops in front of you and looks at you with a hard expression.

You start to feel the anger building up inside you. It feels like you're talking to the Leon of a few days ago, the one who told you he didn't want you to be a burden, the one who thought you were an asshole. You thought you were past that stage, but apparently, you're still back to square one.

"Do you really think I locked us in here on purpose?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

You gasp and laugh nervously, incredulous at his words. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"My problem is that we're wasting time." he says, raising his voice.

"It's only two hours, we're not locked in here for the whole fucking day."

"Two hours we could have used to our advantage if only you hadn't decided to go your own way."

You shake your head nervously, your breathing becomes more labored, your pulse quickens, and you clench your teeth. You try to stay calm, even though his expression pisses you off even more. He stands in front of you with his arms crossed, looking at you with the eyes of someone who thinks he's always right. If you're here at all, it's because there are men trying to kill him. You dragged him away to save his life, and he even has the nerve to complain. He drives you crazy.

"We're here because, in case you've forgotten, they want to kill you."

Leon sits on the floor with his back to the wall and shakes his head. "I didn't ask you to save me."

You close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose with two fingers. "I don't get you. I thought we had worked things out between the two of us, and instead here you are, acting like a complete asshole again," you begin.

Leon rolls his eyes and huffs. His reaction makes you even angrier. "Look, if you have a problem, don't take it out on me. I don't have the time or the will to deal with your-"

"Could you please stop talking?" he interrupts you, running both hands over his face.

You approach him slowly, your eyes fixed on him with a look that could kill. "You don't know how much I want to punch you right now."

He stands up and comes even closer, narrowing the space between you considerably. You feel his warm breath on your face. His blue eyes watch you carefully.

"I want to see you try." he says softly, teasing you.

Your faces are few inches apart, your eyes chained in a look full of tension. He's the first to break the chain, moving his eyes to your full red lips. He swallows, his chest rising and falling quickly. His lips part slightly as he struggles to make eye contact with you. You stay like this for what seems like hours, until in one quick movement Leon closes the space left between you, placing a hand behind your neck, and pulling you closer to him in a needy, desperate kiss.

The kiss surprises you, you don't know how to react. You don't move, but you feel your heart beating and your legs trembling. His lips are still on yours, but Leon doesn't dare to go any further. In fact, after a few seconds, he pulls away from you. You look at him in confusion, he looks at you in despair. His eyes beg you for forgiveness. He takes a few steps away from you and opens his mouth slightly, struggling to find the right words to say to you.

You watch him, your breathing is erratic, your heart is trying to get out of your chest. A chest that now feels empty.

You still can't understand what that kiss made you feel. A chaste kiss, though desperate. Just the feel of his lips on yours lit a fire inside you that you hadn't felt in years. Hell, maybe you never felt it at all.

Maybe you can't understand what you're feeling yet, but your body certainly can. Arousal begins to build inside of you and outside of you as well. You feel a pleasant pain making its way between your legs. Oxytocin and dopamine flood your dull brain.

Leon keeps looking at you, still searching for the right words to somehow justify his impulsive gesture. But you don't want an apology, you don't want a justification. Your lips already miss his, however brief their contact was. You want more.

This time you're the one who takes the first step, to close the distance between you, to savor the taste of his lips once more. And now it's Leon who's surprised. But it doesn't take him long to surrender to the contact, which becomes even more intense. His hands clasp your hips, yours resting gently on his smooth face.

You open your lips slightly to make the kiss more intense, stronger. You want to savor the moment, to taste him. Your teeth clash and your tongues entwine in a messy, passionate kiss. Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging lightly and making him let out a muffled moan. His hands caress your back, holding you tighter to him.

But the kiss is not enough anymore. You want more, he wants more. All your quarrels, your problems, everything that surrounds you at this moment no longer exists. There is only the two of you and your desire to discover each other.

Leon turns around and takes you with him, walking, making you back up until your back touches the wall. His movements are quick, desperate, needy. Without ever stopping to savor you, he unbuckles your pants and slips a hand inside your panties, running his fingers through your now wet folds. You moan against his lips, opening your mouth and panting as he slides a finger inside you and begins to thrust.

Your fingers are still tangled in his hair. Leon breaks the kiss and rests his forehead on your shoulder as he continues to push and curl his fingers inside you. You say nothing, your moans filling the silence. Yours are moans of pleasure at the physical sensation he's giving you with his fingers. He moans when he hears you getting off, when he feels you coming apart under his touch. But he can't take it anymore, he doesn't just want to hear you, he wants to feel you. He wants to be inside you.

He removes his fingers from your pussy, leaving you empty. With a grunt, he picks you up and turns you over, wrapping his arm around your hips, pushing them towards him, making you bend over. He lowers your pants, leaving you partially exposed to his watchful gaze. You hear his belt unfastening and your heart beats even faster in anticipation. You turn your head and catch a brief glimpse out of the corner of your eye as he licks his fingers, moistening them before running them over his cock. You turn back to the wall and close your eyes, biting your lip. The simple gesture makes your legs twitch.

Leon slides the head between your wet folds before sinking into you with a moan of pleasure. You gasp loudly and clench your fingers into a fist against the wall. He begins to thrust into you slowly, but quickly picks up the pace, fucking you hard.

"Fuck, Leon." you moan loudly, calling his name for the first time since you've met again.

He grunts, increasing the speed of his movements and tightening your hips even more. You smile slightly at his reaction, feeling that hearing his name makes him horny as hell.

"I thought you wanted me to shut up." you say, teasing him. You turn to look at him out of the corner of your eye and notice his gaze, his eyes now black with dilated pupils, full of passion and arousal.

"Not when you say my name like that." he replies, moving a hand from your hip between your legs, stimulating your clit as he continues to fuck you relentlessly.

You moan loudly, oblivious to anyone who can hear you outside these four walls. You grab his forearm and squeeze hard, digging your nails into his skin as he stimulates every spot he can, making you feel things you've never felt before.

You feel the fire rising in your chest, the flower of your orgasm just wanting to bloom. And when it does, it's springtime.

Your pussy clenches as he continues to touch and fuck you, driving you to overstimulation. You hear your heart pounding in your ears, your throat is dry, and you're short of breath. His movements begin to become erratic, sloppy, until he moans as he cums inside you, pressing his chest against your back.

You stay like that for a few seconds, panting, until he gets out of you and walks away, turning his back as he zips up his pants. You do the same and begin to feel the heavy ghost of embarrassment. You turn to him, who's still turned around. Now that you're no longer caught up in the moment, the thrill, the passion, you begin to see the situation more clearly. You begin to see that maybe it was a mistake. That maybe, as good as it was, as much as you've never felt that way before, you just complicated things. And judging by the way Leon pulled away from you, unable to look you in the eye, he had the same realization.

Finally, after endless minutes of tension and embarrassment, he whispers your name. He turns to you with a sigh. "This..."

"Never happened." you finish the sentence for him. Leon presses his lips together and nods.

You look away, at the countdown on the wall, which now reads 50 minutes. You sit on the floor and Leon does the same across the room. You sigh and look down, hoping that these 50 minutes will pass quickly so that you can get back to your mission, focus on your goal again, and maybe try not to think about the mistake that made you feel truly alive for the first time in your life.

Notes:

OKAY GUYS, OKAY. BEAR WITH ME, THIS HAD TO HAPPEN. AND YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHY. I did my best not to spoil ANYTHING about this chapter, not even in the beginning notes, cause I wanted to surprise you. I'm sure you didn't expect this to happen so soon. BUT LIKE I SAID, IT HAD TO HAPPEN. (cause this, my friends, will be our main cause of angst...).

Anyway, when I tell you I can't wait to read your comments on this LMAOOOOO. Also, I took liberty of writing a little bit of Leon's backstory from scratch taking inspiration from his real backstory of course. Hope you liked it.

SO, PLEASE let me know what you think about this cause I'm dying to read your comments. I'll be back very soon with another chapter, hope you'll still be here to read.

See ya!

Chapter 13: Shadow

Summary:

You and Leon leave the room you were trapped in. On your way to find the mysterious man, you have an unexpected encounter.

Notes:

Hello there! I'm back with another chapter.

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You look again at the countdown on the wall where Leon is leaning: 20 minutes left. It's been half an hour since you had sex after a rush of passion – if you can call it that – leaning against the wall you're leaning against at the moment. And now you're facing each other, sitting at opposite ends of the room you're locked in, unable to look each other in the eye.

You don't even know how this happened. Not even a month ago you tried to kill him, drugged him, cut him with your sharp knife leaving a scar on his arm, and now you feel a strange feeling in your stomach every time you think back to those minutes, to that contact. Leon had so little faith in you just a few days ago that he threatened you with a knife at your throat, and yet he was the one who made the first step.

You don't know where what happened in this room will lead. It will probably put an end to the growth of your relationship – a relationship that until 30 minutes ago was professional, or so you thought.

Is it possible to go from despising someone to making them the object of your passionate desires? Perhaps it is. After all, the line between hate and love is supposed to be very thin. Even though what you feel for Leon right now cannot be called love, no. That's not what love is supposed to feel like.

The strongest emotion you felt for him so far was contempt. You loathed him. You despised everything about him, the way he thought he was the best, the way he talked to you, the look of resentment in his eyes – everything. But that was until a few days ago. Until he confessed to you how he really felt, in front of that beautiful but sad garden, holding a bottle of beer that went lukewarm with his touch. When you look at him now, you still don't know how you feel. Sometimes you feel admiration, sometimes you just feel grateful that you're not alone.

That's why you still don't understand where the desire to kiss him, to touch him, to feel him as your own came from. Maybe this time it was the fine line between contempt and strong passion, the desire to feel wanted by someone, the desire to feel something other than the dark feelings that stiffen your heart.

That must be it. Desperation and the overwhelming urge to feel that you're still alive and not just existing.

That must be it. The urge to change the strong feelings inside of you from negative to positive.

That must be it.

You look up at him for the first time in 35 minutes, who's sitting across the room with one leg bent and the other outstretched, biting his nails. He looks restless, pensive. He looks like someone who is swamped with his thoughts threatening to overflow.

He feels your attentive gaze and your eyes meet. You say nothing, surrounded by a deafening silence.

This time, however, neither of you feels the need to look away crushed by heavy embarrassment and regret. You just look at each other until Leon closes his eyes and sighs.

"When I read those things earlier, I felt a strong anger inside of me and an urgent need to find those people and get them out of here – assuming that bastard is telling the truth," he begins, tugging lightly at his knee and biting his lip, searching for the right words to continue.

But you understood. "That's why you snapped earlier. Because you felt that by staying here you were wasting precious time that you could have used to save them."

Leon looks at you with glazed eyes again and nods, "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to me for having feelings, Leon."

"I know, but-"

"I get it. I don't need an apology." you interrupt him.

Leon sighs and leans his head against the wall behind him. You take another quick look at the countdown, which now reads 10 minutes.

"I'm not usually like this. I don't get angry so easily – I'm rational, calm. But this... and, and you..." he says, gesturing.

"I know, I'm not the person you wanted to work with. I'm not the person anyone wants to work with, to be quite honest."

"That's not what I... never mind."

You look at him for a few seconds and sigh. "The sooner we find whoever is responsible, the sooner we can get out of here."

Leon nods and the silence returns between you for a moment. You look at the countdown again, nervously. 5 minutes left.

"Do you think we should talk about what happened before?" he asks you in a low voice.

You look at him and feel your legs shaking. He asked you to do what you wanted to avoid. You don't like confrontation, you don't like to open your heart, to have deep and important conversations. You're not that type, you're not like that. You ignore embarrassing situations until, after a while, they no longer are. You let time do what you can't.

"No, we shouldn't. Let's just forget about it."

"I don't think it's that easy."

"It was just sex, for God's sake. And you seemed to agree before when we decided it never happened. You were even going to suggest it, weren't you?"

"You're the one who finished the sentence for me, you don't know what I really meant."

You stand up and approach him. "Okay then, tell me. What did you mean?"

Leon also stands and walks over to you. You look at each other intensely. He opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by a loud beep and the sound of the lock finally unlocking. Your eyes focus on the now open door before briefly looking back at each other.

"Let's go." Leon says, turning away from you to approach the door.

You sigh and watch him as he slowly opens it to make sure there's no one waiting for you outside. "Lead the way."

You both leave the room, guns in hand. Leon walks slowly, leaning against the wall to watch the corridor and make sure the way is clear. He turns to you and nods for you to follow him to the stairs.

You don't know what awaits you on the way up, but you know for sure that you will find the mysterious man on the top floor. A person with an ego as big as his can't help but await your arrival by standing, figuratively and literally, higher than everyone else. Leon knows this too, and that's why he climbs the stairs ahead of you, without stopping to check the floors in between.

Your journey to the top floor is interrupted when you find yourself standing in front of two men on the stairs. Men sent to find you, sent to kill Leon, and leave you alone in your nightmare. You all stand still for a few seconds, taken aback by this sudden encounter. Then Leon takes your hand and begins to walk down the stairs, but you're immediately blocked by another man and two women.

Leon's grip on your hand tightens as the entire group in front of and behind you point their weapons at you. You stand in front of him and step back. You look up and see that you're on the twelfth floor. All of the people with guns pointed at you gather into a group as you continue to shield Leon, knowing that with you in front of him, they can't hurt him.

You look at them all, one by one, watching their expressions, their body language. Among them, you notice a frightened girl. Her hand is shaking as she tries to hold the gun as tightly as possible. The others, on the other hand, seem confident. Especially the other woman, who looks at you with an eerie grin on her face, just like the man you fought yesterday.

"You can't shield him forever, you know?" she says as she approaches you. You and Leon step back even further.

"Aren't you tired of being a madman's puppet?"

The woman laughs and turns to the others behind her. "I'm just doing my job." she shrugs.

"What a shit job."

The woman's face becomes serious again. "Move."

You smile and shake your head. "No can do."

You and Leon continue to back away as they try to pressure you by walking towards you in group. Leon takes your wrist and tries to lead you to a specific point. You follow him, even though you have no idea what his plan is.

"I'm flattered by all your attention, but I think it's time to go our separate ways." Leon says behind you, making you frown.

Even the people in front of you seem confused, and even more so when a fire extinguisher falls at their feet after a few seconds. They all look down and before they know what's happening, Leon fires a shot at the extinguisher, creating a white cloud. You cannot see the people in front of you, only hear them coughing.

You follow Leon, who, instead of seeking cover, throws himself into the crowd, taking advantage of their limited vision to face them hand-to-hand. Just like the men you faced earlier outside the building, these people lack proper training, and you manage to knock them out in no time – except for the woman from before, the one who seemed to be the leader of the group. She's still standing, watching you with a smile on her face as the cloud caused by the fire extinguisher begins to dissipate.

She takes a deep breath and raises her fists, "I guess it's my turn now."

You and Leon exchange a glance before focusing on her. And it's the woman who makes the first move, hurling herself at you with a punch you can barely parry. She's fast, strong, trained, unlike all the others she's been bossing around. She moves forward with a flurry of blows that you manage to parry, your arms aching. When she tries to reach for her gun, you manage to disarm her with a kick.

Leon tries to hit her from behind, but she dodges the blow and spins around, hitting him in the stomach. He bends over, holding his stomach with one arm, but moves away before she can hit him again.

The woman turns back to you, hits you in the face, and then kicks you, sending you to the other side of the room, next to Leon. She puts her hands on her hips and watches you, frowning. "I expected a lot more, I'm a little disappointed."

You sit up and wipe the blood from your lip. "Oh yeah? Tell me, can you dodge a bullet if I shoot you now?"

"You don't want to. If you shoot me, the others will hear the sound and come after you."

"Doesn't seem like we had any trouble with those other idiots behind you."

The woman turns around and looks at the unconscious people. "But now you no longer have a fire extinguisher to save you from the rain of bullets, do you?"

Leon leans over to you and holds out a hand to help you up. "We have to hit her together, wear her down until we get the upper hand." he whispers.

You nod and look at her once more. "These are enough." you say, waving your hands at her.

You and Leon throw yourselves at her and begin to hit her relentlessly with kicks and punches. The woman is skilled and experienced, and manages to block almost all of the blows, and to recover well from those she takes. But just as Leon said, after minutes of relentless fighting, she begins to tire. Even your blows become messy and slow, but there are still two of you.

She can't take it anymore. You strike her with a blow that causes her to turn to Leon, who strikes her again. The woman staggers back, holding her bloody nose. Leon lifts you up from the waist, giving you just enough support to hit her with both legs. Your kicks push the woman to the other side of the room, and she bangs her head against the wall behind her, knocking her unconscious.

You and Leon look at each other, panting. You bend over and put your hands on your knees to catch your breath. Your hands are still shaking from the effort, your knuckles red and peeling, your arms numb.

"Good thing there were two of us." you say, chuckling.

"Yeah." Leon looks at you and smiles, nodding, before his smile turns into a laugh.

But your moment of peace is short-lived. A noise from a locker behind you catches your attention. You and Leon look at each other briefly before grabbing your weapons and walking slowly towards the source of the noise. When you reach the locker, Leon jerks it open to reveal a girl huddled inside with her hands over her ears. It's the same girl from earlier, the one who was in the group with the others, the one who was shaking as she pointed her gun at you.

"Come out." you tell her in an assertive tone. The girl looks at you with fear in her eyes and shakes her head slightly. You sigh and point the gun at her. "I said come out." you yell.

"Okay, okay." she replies frightened, before walking out of the locker and sitting down on the floor under your and Leon's watchful eyes.

"Please don't hurt me." she pleads.

"Who are you working for?"

"I... I..." the girl stutters, backing away. Tears wet her red, frightened face.

"Cry me a fucking river," you point the gun at her again. The girl squints her tear-filled eyes, frightened. "I asked you a question."

You're being hard on her. You know you can get important information out of her by pushing her. You've seen her before, standing behind everyone else, holding a gun she probably doesn't even know how to use. You know she's not there of her own free will. Most likely they put a gun in her hand and told her to follow orders under duress. So, the first chance she got, she hid, trying to avoid certain death against experienced people like you and Leon, even though you didn't kill any of the people she was with. You know she's almost certainly a victim as well – or maybe she is just a very good actress.

You approach her menacingly, bringing the gun close to her face. "Please stop!" she cries out.

You hear Leon behind you calling your name several times, trying to get you to stop. You ignore him until he calls out to you in a raised tone of voice. You turn to face him, who looks at you with a serious expression and shakes his head, resting a hand on yours that holds the gun, motioning for you to lower it. Your eyes are still locked. You take a deep breath and lower the gun.

"I need you to tell me something." you say to the girl, this time in a calm tone.

She nods, tears still streaming down her face. "I didn't want to be here, I don't want to hurt anyone, they forced me,"

"Who forced you?"

"I don't know his name. The others carry out his orders without blinking an eye. I've never seen him; I only know that he's a strange guy who walks around with a mask over his face and has a nickname. I can't remember what it was... Maybe, maybe it was..."

"Kage." you whisper, feeling your heart beating wildly.

"Yes, that's it!"

"Kage? As in shadow in Japanese?" Leon asks.

But you don't answer. Your ears ring and you start to hyperventilate. You put a hand on your chest, which has suddenly become painful, and collapse on the floor, sitting against the wall behind you. The girl looks at you in confusion. Leon turns to you and when he realizes what is happening, he runs to you, kneels down and strokes your shoulder.

He begins to call you by name several times, asking if you're okay. You feel dizzy, your vision is blurred. Your hands start to stiffen. Leon is close to you, trying unsuccessfully to comfort you, while the girl looks at you even more confused and frightened than before. You then notice that they both get distracted by a noise coming from the stairs. Leon sighs. "Shit," he curses.

He turns to the girl without breaking physical contact with you. "What's your name?"

"Jane."

"Okay Jane, we need to get out of here and you need to take us somewhere safe."

"I- I don't know."

"Jane, please." Leon says loudly.

The girl closes her eyes and tries to think where you can run to. Leon is visibly worried, his grip on your shoulder has tightened slightly and he moves his leg anxiously. Meanwhile, you try to take deep breaths to overcome your panic attack, but without success. The name – or rather the nickname – of the man you're looking for is still ringing in your ears, and the imminent danger that surrounds you doesn't help.

"There's a garden, yes, a garden on the fourth floor. It's safe, no one will look for us there." Jane says, standing up and scanning the hallway.

Leon nods to Jane and turns to you, smiling slightly. He takes your face in both hands and looks at you with soft eyes. "Listen to me, we have to get out of here. I know it's not easy, but you have to try. Will you try for me, sweetheart?"

You feel a tear slide down your face, your lips are dry, your throat is dry. Your chest rises and falls unevenly as your stiff hand lightly touches your shirt. You nod slightly and Leon smiles at you.

"Good." he says, grabbing your arms and helping you up. You make your way to the stairs, heading down again to find a safe haven – at least for now.

Notes:

HEEEYYYYY! We unlocked a new character and we (kinda) know who the man is! Well, reader and I know, you'll find out next chapter. Btw I thought about his nickname for a long time and I settled on Kage cause I fucking love Japanese and I think it sounds so badass, let me know if you agree. That's also the name I chose for my first horse when I played Ghost of Tsushima. (Great game, I suggest you play it if you haven't already).

Also, I forgot to clarify in the previous chapter that of course this is fiction, and in my fantasy world there are no UTIs or STDs (I mean, there are, but I pretend there aren't), but unfortunately we're in the real world. Pregnancy also doesn't exist in any of my stories. But please, practice safe sex and always pee after lmao.

Anywayssss, let me know what you think! I kinda left you on a cliffhanger so I hope you don't hate me for that. I'm going on vacation next week but I'll bring my laptop with me so I promise I'm not gonna make you wait.

I wanted to thank you, by the way, cause sometimes I have second thoughts about this story and about my writing, but your comments make me doubt myself less. I hope you're still enjoying this ride and that you'll stick with me until the end (which, by the way, is near).

See ya luvs!

Chapter 14: What Does Love Feel Like?

Summary:

You, Leon and Jane are taking some time off to recover from all that has happened. It will be a time to open your hearts.

Notes:

New chapter. Hope you enjoy. :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You run down the stairs as fast as you can, trying not to run into the men who were looking for you. Leon knows that in a normal situation you could have easily defeated them, as you have done with everyone you have encountered so far, but with you in the throes of a panic attack and Jane completely inexperienced, he would never have made it. Especially with the knowledge that the men are there to kill him. And – as much as it costs him to admit it – your protection is a relief to him. With you in front of him, ready to be his shield, he knows they could never hurt him.

Leon is used to working with other people; he knows what it means to defend and be defended. He's never had a problem admitting when someone saved his ass, but with you it's different. He doesn't know why, he can't explain everything he's feeling with you these days. Mixed feelings that confuse him. He cannot understand how it is possible to feel so many things for the same person.

A few days ago, even looking at you bothered him. When he offered to work with you, it was only because he could not bear the idea that he had failed. You were just a way to make up for his failure, an opportunity to be taken advantage of. He thought of you as a selfish, greedy person. A woman who would go through anything and everything to get what she wanted, no matter who she stepped on in the process.

Someone he would have to live with long enough to complete his mission once and for all. He knew he could not trust you, that he would have to walk on eggshells.

Then he saw a side of you he didn't know existed, he was a spectator to your weaknesses, your emotions. He thought that maybe behind that tough, apathetic facade was someone who had so much to give. He decided to give you a chance, to see if there really was a part of you worth discovering. He decided to tread lightly, letting himself trust you a little bit at a time. At least that was his plan until you were locked in that room.

Locked in there, he felt helpless, useless. His desire to right his wrongs wore him down inside, and when he saw the message on that giant screen, something inside him burst out and his rationality failed him. He got caught up in his emotions again and lashed out at you.

And then he cannot explain what happened. He felt your breath on his skin, smelled your intoxicating scent, saw your deep eyes scrutinizing him. He could not resist; he gave in to his urges.

He had already begun to see you in a different light, yes, but he didn't think it was that kind of light. But in the time that you didn't speak to each other, sitting across from each other in that silent room, he could think of nothing but the warmth of your soft skin, the look on your face in one of the most vulnerable moments a person can be seen, his name leaving your lips in a voice heavy with passion.

And after that, when his brain was no longer intoxicated by passion, by lust for you, he began to see things as they were. He immediately thought that maybe it would have been better if it hadn't happened, that maybe it was a mistake. But he could still smell your scent on him and feel the touch of your red lips. When he turned to you, he didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to express what he felt, what you made him feel. Maybe that's what he wanted to tell you. He wanted to tell you that what had just happened made him feel different.

But then you finished the sentence for him, and reality fell upon him like rain in a summer storm. Hard and fast.

He knows you were right, that it was for the best. But he can't help but keep thinking about those feelings, about what he's never felt before. And he's unable to give himself an answer to the pressing question. Is it really wrong if it makes you feel this way?

Now he looks at you as you struggle to breathe, and he just wants this to end once and for all. The pleasant sensations he felt a few hours ago have been replaced by worry and fear. You are a strong woman, not easily frightened. But the mere thought of that man, that shadow, had you panicking. You find yourself fighting someone who may be even more dangerous than Leon thought. And he can't do it alone.

After descending seven floors, you finally find yourself outside the corridor on the fourth floor. Jane runs ahead of him, turning around occasionally to make sure you're still behind her. Leon still hears the voices of people looking for you, but they're far away. He looks around to make sure you're safe, then looks at you. You're leaning against him, your hands still stiff, like those of a mannequin. Your breathing is still erratic, your eyes dull. He sighs before stopping and lifting you up like a bride.

"No." you mutter between your heavy breaths.

"We'll be faster this way."

You shake your head slowly, as if it weighed a ton. "I can walk."

Leon looks at you seriously. "Needing help doesn't mean you're weak. You don't have to prove your strength to anyone, not now."

You look at him resigned; your chest is burning. You rest your head on his shoulder as he walks quickly – faster than he could walk beside you.

"C'mon, this way." Jane screams as Leon runs as fast as he can to keep up with her. The fourth floor is huge, it seems endless. Until they finally come to a huge glass window. Behind it, thousands of plants and flowers are the only splashes of color on a white canvas. Leon pauses to admire the view. Jane opens the doors by entering a code on a screen, and you finally enter the beautiful garden.

Jane enters the code again and locks the doors behind you. "We're safe now."

Leon nods to her and then runs to the center of the garden and gently sets you down. He takes your stiff hands and looks into your eyes. "You need to control your breathing. Breathe in and out slowly, like me." Leon starts to do breathing exercises and you follow.

"That's right, keep going." he says, smiling softly as he notices that you're slowly getting your breathing under control.

You close your eyes and take deeper and deeper breaths, exhaling through your mouth until you can finally get back to a normal level. Your hands are still stiff, but you begin to feel a tingling sensation and can move your thumb slightly. Your legs still feel weak, but you finally manage to relax. Or at least get your body to relax. Your mind is still wandering, thinking about what might happen when you stand in front of Kage once and for all.

"How do you feel?"

"Better."

"Good."

Jane is standing behind you a few feet away, watching you. She's worried; her eyebrows are furrowed, and a grimace adorns her face. You look at her and your expression is soft. You feel guilty about how you treated her earlier, threatening her with your gun. But you can trust no one in this building except Leon. She seems sincere, though.

"You can come closer, I won't bite." you tell her with a smile.

Leon turns to her and together you watch as she reluctantly approaches and sits down next to you.

"Sorry about earlier. I had to make sure you weren't trying to trick us."

Jane nods vehemently, her eyes downcast, before looking back at you and smiling slightly. "I understand."

Leon watches the scene and then sighs. "I know it's hard to talk about him, considering your reaction to the mere mention of his name. But we need to know more about this Kage."

You look at him for a few seconds before you lower your eyes to your still slightly numb hand and take a deep breath, "Kage is a dangerous man. A man with whom those I work for have fought for a long time. He's cruel, ruthless. I've seen unimaginable things done to innocent people just because they dared to look at him." you begin. You feel a lump in your throat, your eyes begin to cloud with tears. You're afraid, terribly afraid.

"What does he want from you?"

"During a mission, after a hard fight in which I almost lost my life, I killed a man," you pause, trying to find the strength to continue speaking, trying not to let the fear get the better of you. Leon puts a hand on your thigh, trying to comfort you and encourage you to keep talking.

"The man was his son. I killed his son," you put both hands on your face and rub your wet eyes. "From that moment on, he started threatening me – hunting me down. I had to hide for a while because if he found me, he would torture me and kill me. He never gave up."

"And then what happened?" Jane asks in a low voice, resting both hands on her knees and leaning slightly toward you, listening intently.

You look at her and purse your lips into a thin line. "Raven, my boss, managed to track him down and kill him." you shake your head and smile wryly. "For months I had to do everything that piece of shit told me to repay him, but in reality, he had filled me full of shit."

Leon and Jane look at you, unable to say a word. You don't know if it's because they're afraid of your story and what might happen to them by being around you, or because they feel sorry for you and your recklessness.

You were warned that there was a high-ranking man on this mission who was not to be touched under any circumstances. However, you didn't think that this man would immediately expose himself by engaging in combat with a novice. So, thinking it was one of his henchmen trying to take you down, you didn't hesitate for a second to pull the trigger.

You did it to save your own skin, yes. But if you had known that it would lead to what you went through in the months that followed, and what you're going through now, you probably would have let him kill you.

"And now he will succeed in killing me."

Leon shakes his head. "No, he won't."

"Leon, you don't know what he's capable of."

"But I know what you and I are capable of. He won't get away with this again."

You look at him and nod, smiling slightly. Leon looks at you and smiles in return. His hand is still on your thigh, squeezing it lightly.

Leon watches the sun set through the huge glass roof. He sighs and turns to Jane, "Are you sure we can spend the night here? Won't they find us?"

Jane shakes her head vehemently, "No."

Leon raises an eyebrow and points to something behind the girl. "What about them?"

Jane turns to look at the cameras above your heads. You watch them too, and your heart begins to pound again. You're not ready to face him yet, and if his men came for you now, you don't know what could happen. Jane and Leon's safety depends on you; you're the only one he wants alive, the only real obstacle between Kage and two people who stand in his way, two inconveniences in his perfect plan.

Jane turns to Leon and smiles. "Don't worry about the cameras, they don't work."

You frown. "Why?"

"As soon as he heard you were in Jacksondale, he had them turned off. I heard two guys talking about it – he wanted the thrill of not knowing when you were going to get to him."

"He's a fucking psychopath." Leon calls out.

"The important thing is that we are safe here, at least for tonight." Leon and Jane nod.

You take your backpack off your shoulders and open it, pulling out some of the food you took from the asshole's house. You grab some chocolate bars, some beef jerky and some chips. You couldn't find anything healthier in the pantry, or at least nothing healthy that wouldn't go bad in your backpack. You offer all your food to Leon and Jane, and they happily accept. Especially Jane, who devours the candy bar in an instant.

Jane – a sweet young woman who has found herself in an unpleasant situation that she cannot handle. This is what you perceive.

"What's your deal?" you ask her, biting into a piece of jerky.

Jane looks up and looks at you in confusion. "Huh?"

"What are you doing here?"

The girl clenches the chocolate bar wrapper in her fist. "I was forced to."

"You've already told us that. We still don't know why."

She looks at you and then at Leon, hesitating to answer. She keeps turning the candy wrapper in her hand nervously. She sighs and bites her lip. "The woman you fought earlier, the group leader, is my stepmother. My father's been a researcher at JacksonPharm for years; they met here a few years after my mother died," she begins, shifting position under the watchful, interested gaze of you and Leon.

"She never liked me. In fact, she hated me. I never understood why. After the disaster in the town, we found out what her role at JacksonPharm really was: the henchwoman of a mad and cruel man."

You listen carefully to her story and then look at Leon, who watches her with a compassionate, sweet eye. "When Kage found out that you were not alone, he ordered that other men be found to thwart you. That is why many of the people you faced are inexperienced. But they're bad people. None of them hesitated for a second to take part in this suicide mission, just for the thrill of taking someone's life."

"So you were the only one forced to hunt us?" Leon asks her. Jane nods slightly with a heartbroken expression on her face. She bites her trembling lip, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to escape.

You sigh and watch her in her weakness. You can't help but feel guilty, because if it wasn't for a madman hunting you, she would never be here. "How did she force you?"

Jane wipes away the tears that now wet her flushed face. "She... threatened to hurt..."

"Your father?"

The redheaded girl shakes her bowed head. She looks at you and Leon, hesitating to answer. She glances at you, as if considering whether to continue. You move closer to her and put your hand on hers, trying to comfort her, just as Leon did to you a few minutes ago. He smiles sweetly at her.

Jane takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she looks at you for a few seconds. "She threatened to hurt my girlfriend if I refused."

You and Leon exchange a quick glance, understanding the reason for Jane's hesitation to confess to you why she's here. However, the thought that she was afraid of how you might react makes you feel sick. And right now, even though you have only known her for a few hours, you want to give her a hug. You also want to apologize for inadvertently putting her in this situation.

But you don't dare. You gently squeeze the hand you were already holding, letting her know she has nothing to be afraid of. At least not with the two of you – not anymore.

Leon sighs, upset by what the girl is feeling. Angry, too, at the inhumanity of a woman who should have supported her and tried to fill a small part of the void left by the loss of her mother. Instead, she has become her nightmare. "What's her name?"

Jane smiles, relieved and softened at the thought of her sweetheart. "Victoria."

"A beautiful name." you tell her with a smile.

"Everything about her is beautiful." the smile never seems to leave her face. "I would do anything for her. I can't wait for this to be over so I can return to her, and we can leave this damn place once and for all."

You and Leon listen to her with pleasure, seeing a glimmer of happiness after all the sadness of the last hours. Only by thinking of Victoria can she regain her cheerfulness. You look at her with soft eyes and even a little envy. You have never felt this way about anyone. You've always told yourself that you don't need anyone, that you're fine on your own. And you are – you're fine with yourself. You don't need someone to complete you because you already feel complete, but you don't deny that you would like to feel this kind of emotion for someone. To feel what it means at least once.

"We've talked more than once about moving in together. She would like to live in an apartment in the city, have her own studio to pursue her passion. She's a painter, a very good painter. I would sit in front of her and read a book while she painted me." she chuckles lightly.

She looks at you and sighs, shaking her head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble."

Leon smiles. "Don't apologize, please."

"Have you guys ever been in love?" Jane asks, looking at you curiously.

You smile wryly and shake your head. "No."

Leon hesitates to answer. "It's complicated." he says, nervously running a hand through his soft hair.

You immediately look up and stare at him in astonishment. You hadn't talked in depth about your past, but the one time you had brought it up, he had told you that he, like you, had problems in the romance department. And now that you hear him say that he was actually in love, you're surprised.

"How come?" Jane asks him.

"Um, we met in a difficult situation that we were going through together. Even if it was just after one day, I had strong feelings for her." you keep looking at him. Your heart is beating faster, even though you don't understand why. His gaze is fixed on his hands. "But I found out that she was really just using me. Then, I thought she was dead. But after six years, I saw her again."

Jane looks at him and nods. "How did you feel when you saw her?"

"I was happy to see her and to know that she was okay."

"Do you think she actually had feelings for you?"

"In her own fucked up kinda way, yes." he snickers.

"Do you still love her?" you continue to listen without saying a word. You're glad, though, that Jane has the guts and curiosity to ask all these questions. You have to know; you're eager to know the answer, afraid even.

Leon smiles and shakes his head. "I don't."

You feel relieved. You still have trouble admitting to yourself how you feel about him. You can't explain it, you don't know how to deal with it. The rational part of you knows that it would be better to let it go, to forget what happened between you. You try to convince yourself that it was a one-time thing, that it didn't mean anything, but you can't help but feel your heart beat faster every time you think about it.

"You're always seduced by the wrong women." you tell him, referring not only to the mysterious woman who made him suffer, but also to yourself. He finally looks at you. His blue eyes watch you intently.

"Apparently I have a type." he replies. You smile involuntarily. Leon smiles back. You look at each other and forget everything around you.

"I'll leave you alone. I'm going to look at the flowers." Jane says, catching your attention. You both nod and watch her walk away.

"She's so young." you say quietly. Leon looks at you. You watch Jane walk away for a while before you meet his gaze. "She shouldn't be here. I can't forgive myself."

"It's not your fault. Stop torturing yourself."

You bite your upper lip and take a deep breath. You look at Leon again. He watches you with sweet eyes, ready to reassure you again. You smile. "Thank you, golden boy."

"For what?"

"For not being a total asshole."

Leon laughs. "You're not so bad yourself."

You giggle before you get serious and look at him again. "Thanks for going through all this with me. I never would've done it alone."

"We'll be home soon, I promise." he says. You nod. You believe him, you know he will do anything to get you home safely. Right now, Leon is your anchor in a stormy sea. The one that keeps you from drowning.

He takes your hand, your fingers intertwine. His hand is warm and rough, but his touch is light and delicate. Just like him, tough on the outside but soft on the inside.

You look at each other, you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. You look at his lips, ready to close the space that separates you once again. You don't care if it's wrong, if it's toxic, if it's inappropriate. You could die any minute and you don't want to deny yourself the one thing that would make you happy right now.

Right when you feel his breath on your lips, your idyllic moment is interrupted by a loud thud and a scream. You both turn around.

"Jane." Leon whispers.

He stands quickly and turns to you, offering a hand to help you up if you're still weak. You take his hand and get to your feet. You look at each other briefly before running towards the source of the noise, determined to save your new friend.

Notes:

This kinda sucks and I'm so sorry. I wanted to post since I won't be able to use my laptop for a few days and I didn't want to leave you hanging. I'm so excited for the next chapters though, especially the next one, cause ladies and gents happiness is over and it's time for depression to start.

I didn't have to say her name but I had to include my mother Ada one way or another. For story purposes, he's not in love with her anymore even though we know that in canon that man is a SIMP. But I mean, look at her, I would be simping for her too.

I hope you enjoyed Jane's backstory. I wanted to make it as natural as possible and I hope I did her justice.
Let me know what you think.

I LOVE reading your comments and your theories, they make my day every time. I'm hoping you're still having a good time with this story. I'm very excited cause I've figured the story out for a long time now and I'll finally be able to write my favorite chapters so expect a lot cause I'll deliver.

Until next time!

Chapter 15: Nightmare

Summary:

You finally meet with Kage.

Notes:

Hey there!

This one's a doozy so be prepared.
Tw for bad bad violence and a hint of homophobia (but the asshole quickly gets what she deserves lmao)

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You run as fast as you can to the source of the noise. You come to a screeching halt as you're confronted with what you had hoped not to see: Jane is being held captive by the woman you fought with earlier, her stepmother, with a gun to her head. You and Leon look at each other, then at the two women.

Jane – visibly terrified, clutching the arm around her neck with both hands, she is motionless, afraid that the slightest movement will cost her her life. You can see her chest rising and falling rapidly. Even though you can't feel it, you can sense that her heart is about to burst out of her chest.

And her stepmother – her eyes wide open and her jaw clenched. Without hesitation, she pushes the barrel of the gun against the temple of the daughter of the man she swore her love to. Her arm is wrapped tightly around the girl's neck, holding her close. Her hair is disheveled, and there's a bloody line across her temple, probably caused by the hard blow to the wall during your previous confrontation. All the confidence and composure she exuded before is gone, giving way to desperation and the loss of what little reason she had left.

The silence is deafening, the tension cut with a butter knife. You and Leon dare not make a move, afraid of what she might do.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," she says, shaking her head vehemently. "You, you should be dead!" she screams at Leon, pressing the gun even harder against Jane. The redheaded girl squints anxiously, a tear running down her freckled face.

Leon approaches slowly, raising his hands to show that he's unarmed. "Let her go."

"I was supposed to be the one to kill you. He… he would have praised me." she cries.

Her reaction saddens you, but you're not surprised. Kage always surrounded himself with people who worshipped him like a god, who would do anything to get even a nod from him. The brainwashing he used on those people is one of the things that scared you the most about him. The way he managed to own the people around him terrified you.

You sigh as you watch the woman lose her mind. "Wake up, he doesn't care about you. You're just another pawn in his twisted game."

"Shut up, you witch! It's your fault, all your fault!"

You shake your head slightly and watch Leon out of the corner of your eye, moving closer and closer to the women. "It's me you want, isn't it? Let her go."

"Her? This useless being? I asked her to do one thing – just one thing, and this fool managed to do the exact opposite."

You laugh sarcastically. "Asked? You threatened her."

"I wanted to give her miserable life some meaning, make her useful for once. All she seems to be good at is screwing other girls."

You clench your fists as hard as you can in anger, digging your nails into your flesh. Your hands shake, your jaw twitches. You make a bold move toward the woman, intending to get this over with once and for all, but you stop immediately when she's the one who steps forward instead, driving the gun even harder into Jane's temple. A shattering moan leaves the young woman's trembling lips.

"One more step and I'll blow her fucking brains out."

Leon turns to you and shakes his head. You sigh and let go of your fists, your palms burning.

"Drop your weapons." you and Leon stand still, staring at the woman. "I said drop your fucking weapons." she screams. Jane's muffled cry and the sound of your guns falling to the floor fill the silence.

The woman smiles uncomfortably. She stares at you with wide, unsettling eyes. Her disturbed gaze is focused on Leon. Her grip on Jane's neck is still strong as she slowly pulls the gun from her temple and points it at Leon. "You're right, though, it's you I want."

You turn your terrified gaze to Leon, whose back you can only see. You gasp. Realizing what is about to happen, you move towards him, trying to get him out of the way, even though you know it'll be too late. You're fast, but not faster than a bullet.

You close your eyes as you throw yourself at him, waiting to hear the sharp sound of the gun firing, already feeling the sensation of your red-painted hands and the tears streaming down your tired face. You can feel the pressing hour of the end, the remorse that will eat away at you from within until there's nothing left of you but your tainted soul.

And the sound comes.

The gun fires and an echo follows. Leon's body is in your arms. Your hands clasp his shoulders. But your eyes are still closed. Cowardice has taken over your body. You're not ready for what you will see when you open them. Your hands are shaking, and your breathing is labored. You feel the tears threatening to come out as you think of the lifeless body you hold in your arms. The body of the one who has saved you countless times, but for whom you have failed to return the favor.

The blood of another innocent bathes your hands. But this time is different. This time it was not you who pulled the trigger, but somehow, it's even worse. He still died because of you, because of what you did.

This is your punishment, your torture.

You squeeze your eyes shut as hard as you can as tears stream down your face. But you can't keep them closed forever. Not seeing what's happening won't make it go away. You take a deep breath and finally decide to open them.

But what you see is not what you expected. Leon's blond hair isn't wet like the bristles of a brush dipped in scarlet paint; his skin isn't beginning to grow cold under your trembling fingers.

He's breathing, his heart is still beating.

You smile briefly in relief before meeting his gaze more closely. His blue eyes peer fearfully into something in front of him. His red lips are parted slightly, and short breaths pass through them. You frown before finally turning your gaze to whatever it is he's looking at so desperately. A gasp leaves your dry lips as you see Jane kneeling before you, a trembling hand pressed to her bleeding belly as her eyes, dull and filled with despair, stare at the woman towering over her. Her stepmother still holds the gun, but not for long. Soon after, she drops her deadly weapon and then falls to the ground with a knife in her knee.

And so, you begin to piece together the moment you didn't catch. As the woman was about to pull the trigger of the gun aimed at Leon's head, Jane pulled out her knife and stabbed her. The woman then turned the barrel of the gun toward the girl and fired a shot straight into her stomach.

She didn't think twice about sacrificing herself to save Leon's life, to save the life of the one she was threatened with killing.

Leon is still in your arms as he watches the scene, unable to react. He sees the blood running down the girl's tired legs like a raging river. He hears her struggling to breathe.

He still cannot believe that all this happened because of him. The bullet was aimed at him, should have hit him. Only him.

"No." you whisper as you release your grip on Leon's shoulders and stand up to help Jane. You take her in your arms and put your hand on hers, putting more pressure on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. Ultimately, your hands still have the blood of an innocent person on them.

Leon stands up and continues to watch Jane. You turn your desperate gaze to him as the tears continue to flow. His gaze is blank, absent, as if he's not with you. He approaches the girl and looks at her for a few more seconds.

"Leon." you whisper through your tears.

He looks at you briefly before turning to the guilty woman who's trying to drag herself away. The knife is deep in her knee. While you were saving Jane, she tried to get up more than once, but to no avail.

Leon walks over to the gun the woman was holding a few minutes ago. He checks the magazine, which is obviously missing a bullet. He reloads the gun and steps up to the woman, pointing it right between her eyes.

She looks at him and smiles. "Do you want to kill me? You?" she laughs. "You don't have the balls, otherwise you would have done it before."

Leon doesn't react to the provocation. You watch him from behind, you cannot see his expression, but you can see his grip on the gun tightening.

"That's what she deserves, that ungrateful br-" the woman begins, but her words are interrupted by a loud noise – that of the gun Leon is holding in his hands. You jump, startled. You see the woman's body fall lifeless at Leon's feet.

As the man turns toward you, blood splatters his clothes. He drops the gun and looks at you. You have never seen him like this. His pupils are so dilated that the blue in his eyes has disappeared, giving way to a deep black. His jaw is clenched, his lips are tight. He's panting, his fists clenched against his thighs.

If you weren't absolutely sure that he would never hurt you, you would be afraid of who you're facing right now, who seems to be anyone but the Leon you know.

His eyes are fixed on yours. You stare at him, confused, bewildered. You never thought you would see this side of him. Ruthless, lost. Only now do you realize how powerful his self-control is, and how dangerous it can be when he can no longer control it.

"Leon." Jane whispers. You watch as he focuses his attention on the girl, kneeling in front of her and placing a hand on her shoulder. He seems to have snapped out of his trance, out of his out-of-control state.

"You have to find the researchers; you have to free them. They're on the sixth floor, where the labs are. And you," she begins, looking at you. "You have to find Kage and put an end to this madness."

"We can't leave you here alone." you tell her, shaking your head.

"Yes, yes, you can. I'll be fine."

Leon sighs. You look at him and notice his shining eyes. "Jane."

"Please."

You and Leon look at each other. You turn to Jane, who looks back at you and nods. You let her go and stand up, followed by Leon. The girl sits back against the wall, grimacing in pain. You and Leon watch her, debating whether to leave her alone with such a serious injury. You know that she won't survive if you don't get her to safety. She has lost a lot of blood and the bleeding shows no signs of stopping.

"What are you still doing here?" she says in a weak voice. You sigh and take Leon by the arm and walk towards the exit of the garden. Leon hesitates for a second, then gives up and follows you.

"Leon!" Jane screams in what little voice she has left. You both stop and turn to face the girl. "Please find my father."

Leon nods and Jane smiles at him. You watch as she struggles to keep her eyes open, and her breathing slows until her dull eyes close and her lifeless body slumps against the wall.

You lower your head as your eyes blur and tears fall at your feet.

This was not how it was supposed to be. This was not the life you dreamed of when you wrote in your diary as a child. This was not who you wanted to become.

"Let's go." Leon says, touching your arm lightly. Even if he doesn't cry, you know he's hurting as much as you are, that he feels terrible guilt, that he wishes the bullet had hit him instead.

You leave Jane behind, and her innocence dies with her.

You and Leon leave the garden in silence, reach the stairs and climb them quickly to the sixth floor, where Leon stops. You, however, have to climb to the top floor and face your nightmare.

Leon turns to you and looks at you with a worried expression. He reaches down and takes both of your hands. "I know I promised you that we would defeat him together, but..." he lowers his eyes.

You lift his chin with your fingers and look into his eyes, smiling slightly. "It's okay. I have to do it alone anyway."

Leon nods. "Be careful."

"You too."

You look at each other for a few seconds. Your hand is still clenched in his as he gently strokes your palm with his thumb. Until he releases his grip and smiles at you one last time before disappearing into the hallway, leaving you alone in front of the stairs that get steeper and steeper the more you look at them. You close your eyes and take a deep breath before climbing up to the top floor.

You climb up the seventh, the eighth, the ninth, the tenth. Your legs start to ache, and your breathing gets harder. You stop at the 11th floor and look at the building plan. The 20th floor is the last one. The floor where Kage is waiting for you, you are confident.

You put your hands on your knees and catch your breath. You watch the stairs in front of you. You think of Jane, her father, the other researchers, and their families. You think back to your father's room, to all that was left of him, destroyed.

The grip on your knees tightens. You're angry, you want revenge. Your heart rate increases as adrenaline rushes through your body.

You begin to climb the stairs in a hurry, with rage, with all the strength you have in your body. Climbing, climbing, climbing. You don't even think about the possibility that Kage's henchmen might be on your way. You think it's strange that there's no one to check the ground. But you think that it was he who wanted them out of the way so that you could reach him alone.

And that's what you do.

Out of breath and with burning legs, you finally reach the twentieth floor, the highest point of the entire building. The corridor is bare and dark, there are no rooms except for one, at the end, illuminated by a soft light. You watch it as you catch your breath and walk towards it. The silence around you is eerie. The only sound is your footsteps.

You can't deny that you're afraid. The idea of facing this with Leon gave you comfort, gave you the strength to face your ghosts.

And instead, you're alone now, in a cold and dark corridor, knowing that once you open that door, you'll never be able to go back.

You stand in front of the door. You grab the handle and take one last look behind you, lingering on the faint light coming from the stairs, thinking about what Leon is doing right now, if he's okay. Thinking of Jane, alone in a lush garden, surrounded by flowers as pretty as she was. Thinking about her father, who will have to face the loss of his daughter. Thinking of yourself and what will happen when you cross the threshold, watching that faint light.

That light, alone in the dark, that you don't know if it symbolizes what's waiting for you or what you're leaving behind. You wonder if you will see it again.

You turn to the white door, grab the handle and look at your hand wrapped around it. You hesitate, but then you think back to Jane's words, to everything you've been through and the people who were inevitably involved. You can't look back, you can't run.

You open the door and find yourself in an empty, bare room. In the center of the room stands a black-clad figure with his back turned. As the door closes behind you, the man turns, his face hidden behind a traditional Japanese mask with horns and gold ornaments. You think about how fascinating it is and how much fear it instills in you at the same time, knowing that it's connected to him.

"Finally, here you are." he says, welcoming you with open arms, literally. His voice is altered, the tone deep and mechanical.

"Are you going to ask me what my favorite horror movie is?"

Kage laughs out loud, theatrically holding his stomach with one hand. "You're really funny." he says, pointing at you. "But now I'm actually curious to know what it is. Don't tell me it's Scream, that would be too obvious."

You watch him as he paces the empty room, gesturing animatedly. You don't answer.

"Mine is Nightmare. The first one."

"I'm not surprised. You too have the ability to torment people in their dreams."

He laughs again. "You're funny, so funny," he repeats. "Freddy Krueger truly is one of the best horror movie protagonists, don't you think?"

You frown and shake your head, already fed up with his bullshit and little mind games. You're here because he's ruining your life and you desperately need this to end, not to talk about Wes Craven's entire filmography. "Let's get this over with. I'm here because you want revenge for your son, right?"

He tilts his head to the side and watches you, huffing under his mask. "You're funny but you're no fun."

He sighs and pulls a knife from the holster on his chest, grabbing the blade and twisting it in his hand to grip the handle. "Alright, as you wish." he walks up to you and pulls out a second knife, throwing it at you. You catch it on the fly and look at it for a few seconds before throwing it to the ground. "I got mine." you say, pulling your knife out of the holster.

Kage shifts to a fighting stance, the knife in his gloved hand. You do the same, slowly approaching him. "I didn't know it was your son."

He lands the first blow, which you block with your blade. "It doesn't undo what you've done."

"Pretty ironic coming from someone who kills for fun." This time you strike, but he moves around to avoid your blow and staggers you slightly.

"Wouldn't you want revenge if someone killed someone you cared about?"

You look at him and sigh, knowing that's part of what you're doing. You're here for yourself first and foremost, but also for Jane and all the innocent people whose lives he's ruined.

He lunges at you, taking advantage of your moment of hesitation and slightly injuring your shoulder. You gasp and back away. "That's all?" he teases you, laughing. "When I'm done here, I'm going to find your toy boy. It will be a pleasure to see the light leave his eyes."

You quickly snap back into position and take a deep breath, clenching your teeth and frowning. Your breathing speeds up and so does your heart rate. You begin to attack him in bursts. The sound of clashing blades and your groans of exertion fill the silence. Kage blocks your every blow, but with a kick to the knee he wasn't expecting, you manage to stagger him and cut a deep gash in his arm.

The man holds his arm and begins to laugh again. "Did I hit a weak spot?"

"Shut the fuck up and fight."

The man runs towards you and begins to attack you relentlessly. You do your best to fight back, but his strength is unparalleled. Your arms and legs burn from the countless cuts caused by his sharp blade. With one move, he manages to knock you off balance and onto the ground, causing you to fall onto your stomach. The impact takes your breath away. You know this technique. You've seen someone do it before.

But no, it can't be. It must be a coincidence.

"Pathetic! Weak! Is this the fighter who killed my son?"

You look at him and try to catch your breath. Blood stains the ground where you lie. You pull yourself away from him as he slowly walks toward you, the blade of his blood-stained knife running along the wall beside him. The sound makes you jump like nails on a chalkboard. He stops in front of you and kicks you hard in the stomach, causing you to lose your breath again. It feels like you are suffocating, like your lungs have stopped working.

"I had high expectations, but it was boring. So fucking boring." he screams. He looks at you through the mask now stained with your blood and sighs. "I bet your friend fights better than you."

"Don't you dare hurt him, you son of a bitch."

"No, that would be no fun. You'll already be dead; you won't be able to see him suffer. It would just be a waste of time."

Kage kneels beside you and runs the blade of his knife across your tired face. "You wanted to end this; I'll finish you off."

Even though you can't see him, you can feel his smile as he drives his knife into your thigh, right above your knee. Your heartbreaking screams of pain echo through the empty room. The man straddles your exhausted body and grabs your neck with his hands. His leather gloves feel cold against your skin.

You wriggle beneath him, trying to free your arms that are trapped between your hips and his thighs. The grip he has on you, even with just his legs, is so strong that it immobilizes you completely, it's like being caught in the grip of a snake.

You have already survived once when a crazy man straddled you and tried to take your life by strangling you. Only those who are truly ruthless choose this method to kill someone. Only those who have no remorse take pleasure in watching a person's life ebb away, watching them struggle to survive as the air is sucked out of them, squeezing tighter and tighter to see them suffer even more.

You can't see his face, but for the first time you see his eyes under the mask. They look familiar, you could swear you've seen them before, you could swear those eyes – now bloodthirsty and filled with madness – once looked at you fondly. You could swear.

You have survived once; you have survived many times. You're not going to let your fight end with him winning.

You owe it to Jane.

You owe it to Leon. You promised him you'd be careful. You promised him implicitly that you would come back to him. And you won't let him down.

With what little strength you have left in your body, you pull your left arm towards you and manage to free it from his grip. Kage is too busy watching you die to realize what just happened. With your now free trembling hand, you touch the hilt of the knife that is stuck in your flesh. You would take a deep breath if you could, but right now, you can't even take a normal one.

You grab the handle and begin to pull. The pain is so excruciating that you want to pass out. Your body tries to knock you unconscious to stop the pain, but your survival instinct takes over. When the blade is finally out of your body, you look one last time into those creepy eyes, just waiting for you to draw your last breath, before stabbing him several times in the side.

The man screams in pain and releases his grip on your neck, clutching his stomach and collapsing sideways. You breathe as if you have just risen from a stormy sea. You cough, grab your aching throat, and with what little strength remains in your body and the help of adrenaline, you stand and limp toward the bleeding man in front of you.

"Your game is over, you bastard." you grab your knife and prepare to make your final slash but stop halfway.

"Wait!" he begs you, extending an arm towards you. "Don't you want to see my face before you kill me?"

You look at him in confusion. "I can see it after I kill you."

"It won't be the same." he chuckles.

Your hand trembles as you hold the knife. You don't answer, watching him as you pant, giving him your silent approval.

The man brings both hands to his face, lifting the mask that covers it.

Your heart stops for a second, everything around you spins. You drop the knife you were holding with all your strength and step back. You touch your chest and feel that familiar pain you've felt before. You shake your head vehemently, squinting your eyes and opening them several times, trying to wake up from the nightmare you're living.

No, this can't be. It cannot be true.

It can't be him. He would never do this.

But your eyes don't lie.

The man laughs again as he watches your reaction, tilting his head to the side and looking at you with those eyes that a few seconds ago were anxiously awaiting your death. The eyes of someone who has always sworn to love you like a father.

"Why that face, pumpkin?"

Notes:

GUYS. AAAAHHHHH. FINALLYYYYYY.

First of all, I have to congratulate some of you who predicted the plot twist. Nice work, Sherlock(s). I LOVE this chapter btw and I had so much fun writing it. I told you from this moment on they would be interesting and I hope I didn't let you down.

So much happened. I'm so curious to know what you think.
Also, RIP Jane :((((

I can't wait to read your thoughts, I hope you liked the chapter. Thank you all for your love.

See ya!

Chapter 16: Feelings and Fears

Summary:

You have your final confrontation with Johnny and make a difficult decision.

Notes:

New chapter! I like this one and I hope you do as well. It's a pretty sad chapter, though. So be prepared.

Happy reading! 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Leon runs down the corridor of the sixth floor without looking back. He feels a knot in his stomach knowing that you're on your way to face Kage right now.

He can't even think about losing you too.

Earlier, with that woman, he couldn't help it. The survivor's guilt and the way she talked about Jane ignited something in him that he thought he could control for a long time now. During his hard training with Krauser, he learned to put his feelings aside, to lock them away in a box somewhere in his brain. He learned to deal with adversity rationally, without getting emotional.

Or so he thought.

He doesn't know what got into him; he wasn't himself in that moment. And what bothers him the most is that he feels no remorse for what he did, for killing someone at close range in cold blood. Because she deserved it, because it was for the best.

Every time, Krauser and Ada's words telling him he hasn't changed echo in his brain.

He thinks differently, though. The rookie late on his first day on the job would never have had the guts to do what he did today. He would have probably tried to talk some sense into her, without success.

Every time he fights, every time he kills and moves on, he becomes more and more afraid of becoming like those he has always despised. He's afraid of becoming like Krauser.

The only thing that still gives him a glimmer of hope is that his ideals are the same as they were before. He still has the irrepressible urge to save everyone in trouble – the hero complex. It's just that the way he's willing to carry out said ideals has changed. And he doesn't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

This scares him a little. He tries to think about how he would have reacted if you were in Jane's place, but he quickly nips the thought in the bud. He doesn't want to expose that part of himself, not again.

As he crosses the long corridor, he finally sees the door to the lab. He pauses to look at it and exhales slightly before resuming his run to complete his mission. The mission he came here for in the first place. A mission that now is more than just work. He no longer has to destroy the serum just so he can write a report and get a pat on the back for another thwarted disaster. He has to do it for Jane, for her father, for himself, for you.

But his steps are quickly interrupted by a small team of men ready to block him. They step in front of him, forming a wall of defense and pointing their guns at him. Leon sighs and curses under his breath, annoyed and tired. All his weapons lie on the cold grass of an artificial garden. He has nothing with him but his knife. He knows that's enough, but not if they start shooting wildly. He moves slowly, trying to get as close as possible so he can easily engage them in hand-to-hand combat.

He's faced worse; it's certainly not going to be a group of wannabe soldiers with homicidal tendencies that's going to get him into trouble. Not now that he has no distractions around him, not now that his emotions won't get in the way, not now that he's one step away from the finish line.

"We don't have to do this," he begins, trying to dissuade the men in front of him. "His approval will get you nowhere, and neither will killing me."

"Not another step, I warn you." one of them shouts. Leon notices the way he swallows his saliva, the drop of sweat that wets his forehead, his hand clenched around his .38 shaking slightly. He's afraid.

It's the first time they've been without a group leader, without someone more experienced to give them orders and confidence. Now they're alone and vulnerable. Leon knows this and decides that the best approach for now is to play on this weakness of theirs, to provoke them at least until he's close enough to get the upper hand.

Leon draws his knife from the holster on his chest, the sharp sound making the untrained men in front of him wince. They look at each other and back away, all clutching their weapons tighter, but none of them has the stomach to pull the trigger.

Leon looks at them one by one with his piercing blue eyes. "You really don't have the guts to kill a human being, do you? You think that's what you want – the thrill of taking a life," he continues to move towards them. The knife is in one of his raised hands. "Turns out you're just a bunch of frauds."

The man in front of him knits his eyebrows and clenches his teeth, his finger moving quickly over the trigger as Leon grabs his arm at the exact moment he pulls it. The shot hits the ceiling, plaster falling on their heads. Leon disarms the man and hits him in the head with the butt of the gun. He puts the newly acquired pistol in his holster and continues with the knife, not wanting to waste any ammo.

Leon picks up the man he hit, using him as a shield with the men in front of him, and holds him by the neck. Behind him are two more men, still hesitant with guns in their hands. He kicks one of them in the chest, pushing him against the wall behind him, while driving the knife into the side of the other beside him. The men in front of him watch in horror. They look at each other briefly before running for their lives, leaving their three wounded but still living teammates behind.

Leon lets go of the man he was using as a shield, who falls to the ground. He looks around, panting, to make sure there is no one around the corner ready to shoot him. The man he stabbed in the side drags himself toward the stairs, leaving a long trail of blood behind him. Leon slowly approaches him, standing over him, watching him as he cries, putting his hands in front of him and squinting. "Please don't."

Leon kneels in front of him and holds out a hand. The man pulls himself back with all the strength he has left, but it's not enough to run away. Leon puts a hand on the man's still clutching the gun and snatches it from him. "You don't need this." he says, shaking it in front of the confused and frightened man. He stands and continues to watch the man at his feet.

"If you or any of your friends dare to harm any of the people in there," he says, pointing his gun at the lab behind him, "I won't be as lenient as I've been this time. Is that clear?"

The man watches him with terror in his eyes, opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out of his thin, cracked lips. Leon keeps looking at him, raising his eyebrows. He leans forward slightly with a hard expression on his face. His blond hair falls back over it, lightly covering his blue eyes. "Do I make myself clear?" he repeats in a slightly deeper, harsher tone.

The man nods vehemently. "Y-yes."

Leon straightens and sighs, checking the magazine of the gun he just stole from him. "Get out of here."

The man finally gets to his feet, stumbling a few times as he clutches his bleeding side and runs away.

Leon turns toward the lab and runs to the door, which is closed. To the side, he notices a small screen like the one at the garden entrance that Jane used to open the door.

"Fuck." he whispers, huffing.

He remembers watching Jane put in the code, while holding you tightly in his arms. "C'mon Leon, what was it?" he says to himself, trying to remember the numbers the girl put in. He closes his eyes and taps his forehead several times with his closed fist.

"2... 7... What was before 9?" he begins to walk slowly back and forth. Until he stops and opens his eyes wide and rushes to the screen. "2749." he says out loud, pronouncing each number he types. The door light turns green and makes a sound. "Bingo."

When he opens the door, he finds himself in front of dozens of people looking at him in surprise. Men and women in white coats and trembling hands. For a moment, they remind him of all the people who died in the lab where he met you. People who died for that damn serum. He won't let that happen again.

"Get out of here, please." Leon says, looking at the confused faces of the people in front of him. The scientists look at each other, unsure of what to do. Leon takes a few steps towards them. "You don't have to stay here anymore, you're free."

"If we leave, they will hurt us." says one of them, getting up from her chair.

"No one will hurt you, I promise."

The men and women continue to look at each other, unsure, frightened. Until one of them jumps up, causing everyone to turn to him. The man takes off his lab coat and nods at Leon, who nods back, before running for the door and heading for the stairs. After him, many more scientists took courage and followed him, leaving behind the work they were forced to do, losing their families in the process. Leaving behind the suffering that had taken place within these four walls, with the fear that someone might enter and hurt them.

Leon is overwhelmed by a herd of people rushing out of the lab. He looks around and something catches his eye. A display case with a test tube containing a green liquid. A single test tube. It must be it, the prototype serum that the scientists were desperately trying to replicate for Kage.

Leon makes his way through the dozens of frightened but finally free people, trying to reach it. But suddenly, a hand grabs his arm. Leon turns around and finds himself in front of one of the scientists, a man with a broken expression on his face. And just by looking into his eyes, he realizes who he is. He can swear that eyes like his looked back at him before saving his life by sacrificing her own.

"Have you seen my daughter?" the man asks.

Leon looks at him, unable to answer. He lacks the strength to tell him the truth. "Her name is Jane. She..." the man begins, looking around before speaking, making sure none of his colleagues are listening. "She was here with Kage's men. But, but she's not evil, she would never hurt anyone, I swear. She was forced, I swear. I swear." the man shakes his head, talking frantically.

Leon puts his hand on the man's, still holding his arm. He stops talking and looks at Leon with the same green eyes of his daughter.

And Leon, at that very moment, looking at those eyes still full of hope, wants to scream, wants to cry, wants to disappear. Looking into those eyes, he wonders why this life has come to him. He wonders what he did wrong.

He smiles at him, trying to hide the plain sadness, remorse, and guilt in his gaze. "She's in the garden on the fourth floor."

The man smiles with relief, lowers his head, and closes his eyes. "Thank you, thank you." he says, releasing his grip on Leon's arm and heading for the lab exit to reach his daughter.

"I know she's not one of them." Leon begins, bringing Jane's father to a halt, who turns to look at him. There are a thousand things he would like to say about that girl. How she's one of the bravest people he's ever known, full of love for those around her and completely selfless. He wants to tell her father how she has made a deep impression on him, even though he has only known her for a few hours. He wants to tell him that she's one of those people he will never forget.

But he says none of that. Leon looks at the man and sighs through his nose, putting on a smile. "You, uh, did a good job with her."

The man smiles and bows his head in gratitude before leaving the lab, leaving Leon alone to watch as he heads toward one of the greatest sorrows a parent will ever experience. He looks at him helplessly, knowing there's nothing more he can do.

Leon looks up at the ceiling before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, trying to regain control of his emotions.

He turns to the serum, walking confidently, already knowing what he has to do. His eyes fall on one of the computers at one of the scientists' desks. He leans over to the computer and accesses the data on the serum, including the ingredients and formulas to replicate it. Without hesitation, he deletes it all. Then he turns to the display case. He opens it and looks at the tube inside. He takes it and turns it in his hand a few times. And this time he won't make the same mistake. With all the strength he has, he tosses the tube to the ground and watches as it shatters, and the liquid soaks the floor near his feet.

He sighs. This time in relief. And now that he's accomplished his mission, now that he's kept his promise to Jane and to himself, he turns toward the exit, ready to assist you in your mission, ready to lend a hand and rescue you when you need it.

And only God knows how much you need to be saved right now.

From the thoughts in your head, from the pain you feel. A pain that, even though you're full of cuts, bleeding and tired, surpasses the physical one.

You're still hoping it's just a bad nightmare, waiting patiently to wake up. But unfortunately, what you're experiencing now is the harsh reality. And it's perhaps the first time in years you're experiencing it. Because it turns out that everything you've gone through over the years, knowing that you always had a shoulder to cry on, was just a lie.

You look at him, you look at the man who trained you, comforted you, taught you, made you laugh when you needed it most, protected you, wiped away your tears. You see him smile after he almost killed you, after he put you through weeks of hell.

"Johnny." you whisper, still in disbelief, as the pain in your chest intensifies and you begin to hyperventilate. Again.

"Surprised to see me?"

You put a trembling hand, stained with your and his blood, to your mouth. And you begin to cry. A desperate cry that you hope will wash away everything you feel. But you know it won't.

"Oh, please. Don't start crying now," he tells you, sighing in exasperation, as if what he just revealed to you is of no importance. "It's annoying."

You look at him through tears, unable to believe that the person you're standing before is the same person you once knew and loved.

"Why?" you ask. You don't know what else to ask except that. Why? You can't explain it. You can't understand it.

"Because I got bored."

You gasp. "What?"

Johnny laughs, then groans in pain, touching his side where you stabbed him several times. "I was tired of this little show with you and Raven, tired of having to babysit you every time you screwed up," he begins, dragging himself to the wall behind him as you watch him with a blank expression. "We finally had something interesting. I could finally get that serum out of that idiot's hands and get this over with once and for all. Instead, you told me it was destroyed. I thought you were truly incompetent. Useless. But then, when you confronted Raven in that room and told him you had failed miserably, I knew you were lying. You really are a shitty liar. Only an idiot like Michael Raven could not see that you were bullshitting him."

You listen to him and feel your world collapsing around you. You fall to the ground, feeling the sharp pain of your bleeding knee. "How did you find it?" you ask him in a low voice, your head bowed, and your eyes fixed on your hand resting on the ground.

"I followed you for days until you finally went to that secret room near the cafeteria. Nice place, by the way, if only you hadn't been so naive as to not realize you were being watched. I taught you better than that." he smiles, and you feel like throwing up.

Suddenly you're reminded of the conversation you had a few days ago. You look up at him without lifting your head. "I called you, you gave me comfort. You even offered to help me. What would you have done if I had taken you up on it?"

"Oh, pumpkin," Johnny laughs, tilting his head to the side and looking at you as if you were a stupid kid. "You're more predictable than you think. You're also incredibly stubborn and you think you're better than you actually are. I knew you would never accept my help. And if you had said yes, it would have been even more fun. But I must admit that you surprised me by bringing your little blond prince with you. Is he as good as he looks?"

You look at him, confused as to how he knows what Leon looks like. You think that maybe the cameras were not turned off like he told his men. Maybe he wanted them to think he wasn't afraid of anything, that he was ready for whatever. But what he really wanted was to have everything under control, your every move. Whether out of fear of what you might do or for his own personal entertainment, you don't know. You clench your hand in a fist on the floor. "So it was all a lie? All these years you've been lying to me?"

"It was fun at first, the training and all. Then I got bored of it. But then I saw how attached to me you were becoming. So, I just went along with it to see how far I could push it, how easy it would be to manipulate someone."

"You're a fucking maniac." you spit, feeling the bitter tears drying on your blank face.

"Stop flattering me, pumpkin." he says, never taking that creepy grin off his stupid face.

You're frightened by the ease with which he was able to play you, to deceive you. The ease with which he expressed emotions that he was only pretending to have.

"Why Kage?" you ask. It's the last thing you want to ask him. The last question that haunts you.

He was there with you the months when Kage – the real Kage – hunted you. He was there when you cried, afraid to leave the house. He promised you that he would kill him for you, that he would set you free. He knows how much the mere thought of that man terrified you. His choice could not have been random.

"Because he always wore a mask," he says like it was an obvious answer.

And then he looks at you with eyes that scare you, grinning like a madman. "And because I know how afraid you were of him. Man, I don't know what I would have given to see your face when they told you who the mystery man was." he laughs with relish, holding his side even tighter.

You look at him with a clenched jaw. You feel nothing but anger, wrath. No more disappointment, discouragement, bewilderment. Just pure rage. Your eyes focus on the knife beside you, the one you attacked him with and then dropped. You grab it and stand up, mustering all the strength you have left in your body.

"There's something you told me in that phone call," you begin, limping towards him with the blade firmly in your hand. His breathing becomes harder as he sees you towering over him. "You told me to kill the bastard for you too, remember?" you kneel before him, ignoring the pain of the wounds he inflicted on you. Partly out of adrenaline, partly out of pride.

"I don't forget anything I say." he tells you, glaring at you.

"Good." you say before plunging the knife into his chest. Johnny gasps and watches you as he loses his breath. You drive the blade deeper into the body of someone you would have killed and been killed for. Into the body of someone you loved, someone you looked up to.

You drive the blade into him, hoping that every memory dies with him. Every look, every smile, every pat on the back. Killing along with him the memory of a person who never existed.

He looks at you and smiles one last time with a mouth full of his own blood. "I didn't think you'd be able to do that," he rests his gloved hand on yours, which is still gripping the knife tightly. "I'm proud of you, pumpkin."

And those words hurt more than any cut, stab or blow he might have given you. Because this time, in his own fucked up way, you know he means it.

You pull the knife from his chest with a groan. You watch him flinch for a few seconds before he stops completely. His eyes, still open, watch you dully. Your gaze falls on the mask beside him. You pick it up before standing up, groaning in pain.

You limp out of the room, holding on to that damn mask, as the realization of what just happened, and more importantly, what you did, overwhelms you like a flooded river.

Everything you believed in is shattered. Over the years you've done some despicable things, and the only shred of humanity you had left was held in your relationship with Johnny, the only person you trusted and truly loved. The one who was a colleague, a friend, a father to you. The faint light at the end of a pitch-black tunnel. The consciousness that you were still capable of feeling something. But it all turned out to be a lie. The only genuine thing left in your miserable life, the only thing that made you feel like a person, was nothing but a fantasy. You were a puppet in his hands, a character in his twisted story, a pawn on his chessboard.

The light inside of you went out and you were sucked into the darkness.

You feel like passing out, leaning against the wall for support as tears wet your face and your head bursts. You hear nothing around you, sounds are muffled.

You watch the faint light from the stairs, the one you looked at with hope before you entered the room, the one you thought you would never see again.

And in that moment, you see a figure coming out of that light. As you look closer, your eyes clouded with tears, you see his blond hair swaying and a desperate expression on his face. You stand still as Leon approaches you.

"Jesus." is all that comes out of his mouth when he sees the physical and emotional state you're in. You look at him with a blank expression as you throw the mask at his feet.

Leon looks at it, concentrating on the bloodstains that cover the gold ornaments. "What happened?"

"It was Johnny," you sniffle and exhale through your mouth. "It was him all along."

Leon looks at you stone-faced. His lips are slightly parted in disbelief, his eyes are wide. "Fuck."

He feels like he's reliving the events in Spain. Krauser has always been a piece of shit too, the difference is that he has always been out in the open. Killing him was difficult, but he dares not imagine how you must have felt when you had to kill who you considered your best friend, your confidant.

"Fuck indeed."

Leon sighs and bites his lip, not knowing how to act in such a situation. He just wants to hold you in his arms and tell you that everything is going to be okay, that, yes, you have lost one shoulder to cry on, but you gained another one. But he doesn't dare. "I know it's hard," he begins, taking a few steps closer to you, "but-"

"Please leave." you interrupt him coldly.

Leon looks at you confused, surprised by your reaction. "What?"

"You found the serum, right?"

"I have, but I don't understand what that has to do with anything now."

"Your mission is over, you have nothing left to keep you here." you look at him distantly.

Every time you look at him, you can't help but think of the cold-bloodedness with which he killed that woman a few hours ago. Not that you've never done the same, but at least you've never claimed to be a fighter for justice.

His unexpected and completely uncharacteristic reaction makes you wonder. After what just happened, you can't help but doubt everyone around you. And you wonder if it might not be better to be completely alone.

After all, you're the only person you can trust completely.

"You're keeping me here." he replies quietly, almost as if he doesn't want you to hear it. Like a confession. His blue eyes look at you softly, and you return his gaze with dull, cold ones.

You can no longer trust anyone, you can no longer open your heart to anyone. Least of all someone you have known for a few months. No matter what you have felt and still feel in spite of yourself. The walls around you are high, thick, and impenetrable. You won't allow anyone to hurt you anymore.

And feelings pass, don't they?

"Why?"

"Because I care about you."

"Do you?" you ask rhetorically, in an almost contemptuous tone.

You see the confusion on his face, surprised at your sudden change of attitude toward him. Despite that, his eyes are still soft when he looks at you.

But so were Johnny's.

"More than you can imagine."

You look away and shake your head, tsking. Then you look back and look up at him, hard and impassive. "We fucked once and you're already in love with me? That's pretty pathetic, don't you think?" you hiss, not believing the words you say either. Hurting him on purpose so that he'll leave of his own free will. Actually doing him a favor, because being with you is like slowly poisoning yourself.

If his feelings for you are genuine, you have no intention of ruining a good-hearted person like him. Because that's what you do. And if he's lying to you, you nip his plan in the bud.

Whatever the outcome, at least one of you comes out on top.

Leon looks at you, more and more confused. And now also hurt. Your words have affected him more than he'd like to admit. "Whatever happened in there, I know this isn't you."

"What do you know about me?" you shout. Your lower lip trembles and the lump in your throat begins to make room. "We're strangers, Leon, and that's all we'll ever be. Don't make no mistake on that."

Leon frowns. All the sweetness in his eyes has been replaced by pain and disappointment. "Is this how you really feel?"

You don't answer. You look at him harshly, trying not to let your sadness seep out, the doubt that you're making the wrong choice.

Seeing him like this is destroying you. Right now, you want to stand up and throw yourself into his arms and cry on his shoulder as he gently strokes your hair and tells you that you will get through this together. That is what you want.

But you're pulling the weed out by the root.

The more you get involved, the more you give him access to your vulnerabilities, the greater the chance that he can use you at will, like a puppet in a children's show.

Today your heart was ripped out and shattered before your very eyes without mercy. It will be a long time before you can put the pieces back together, assuming you can. You cannot risk anyone playing with your heart again. No matter how you feel, no matter how much this decision wears you down inside. You have to think of yourself.

"Wow, okay." he whispers, smiling bitterly. He looks up at you once more, questioning with his blue eyes if this is really how you feel, if this is really what you want. Wondering if everything he felt with you was just an illusion.

And when he gets nothing but silence, indifference, and coldness from you, he nods slightly and turns around, forcing you to watch his back as he walks away, leaving you behind.

Your tears threaten to well up again as you feel the urgent specter of loneliness wrap you in its cold arms.

As Leon arrives in front of the staircase, illuminated by that familiar light, he turns to you one last time. "I hope you find happiness." he says, before disappearing into the light between the white walls.

You cry out loudly, intensely, looking at the light that you so desperately wanted to represent the brightness of your future, but that will forever represent the nostalgia of something that could have been, but never was.

Notes:

I know you'd probably want to punch me in the face right now, but I did say sadness was coming. Just remember that I, unlike Capcom, plan to give my man a romantic happy ending, so don't fret.

I wrote this listening to Exile by Taylor Swift on loop cause I fucking hate myself lmfaoo. Btw I've already started writing the next chapter, which will come your way in exactly a week, and I'm pretty sure you'll like it. The angst isn't over, by the way, and today you learned what I meant when I told you that their sweet and hot moment in that room would lead to it. (Kinda, since it was actually reader's trauma, but she used that intimate moment to hurt Leon, and that was pretty shitty tbh).

I had so much fun writing this though, and let me tell you, I'm relieved the action sequences are finally over cause I suck at them (like I said a few chapters ago, I wanted to get out of my comfort zone, I hope you weren't so disappointed in them!). I like writing about feelings so this is my time to shine! I liked the idea of Leon killing reader with kindness at the end, I hope you liked it as well.

As always, please let me know your thoughts about this and thank you so much for the kudos and the lovely comments I love you all. 3

Chapter 17: Starry sky

Summary:

You're dealing with the consequences of what happened, and something unexpected happens.

Notes:

New chapter coming your way. I'm really proud of this one, and it's LOOONG as well.

Please enjoy 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You open your eyes wide, gasping. You sit up on your bed and run a hand over your wet forehead. Almost every night for three months now, you have been reliving your confrontation with Johnny. The moment he takes off his mask plays over and over in your mind like a faulty videotape.

You look at the clock on your bedside table and sigh exhaustedly when you realize it's only three in the morning. You get up and go to the kitchen, open the fridge and grab a small bottle of iced tea before sitting down on the couch and turning on the TV. As usual, when you wake up from a nightmare, you're wide awake and going back to sleep is out of the question.

You start zapping, trying to find something interesting to watch. But your mind immediately begins to wander, thinking back to the events of that day.

This time your thoughts go to Leon. You wonder how he's been doing. You wonder if he thinks about you sometimes, if he has moved on, if he hates you. You know that you shouldn't be asking yourself these questions, that it's wrong. After all, you're the one who decided to push him away.

You've pushed everyone away, to tell the truth. Since you came back, Raven has tried to call you several times and sent you a million messages asking why you and Johnny were away. You deliberately ignored him until one day he showed up at your door demanding an explanation.

You looked at him coldly and told him the truth – or rather, part of it. You told him that Johnny was dead, not clarifying how, and begged him never to look for you again. You thought he would react differently to the news of Johnny's death, remembering how he used to look to him for advice and how Johnny was the only one who kept him grounded. Instead, he just looked down for a few seconds before returning to look at you, vaguely unnerved and weirdly more interested in the news about you.

"So you're quitting?" he asked you, raising an eyebrow.

"Not that I work exclusively for you."

"Are you quitting, yes or no?"

You simply nodded, making him grimace in disagreement, almost contempt, before walking away without another word.

You didn't even think he cared enough about you to come after you personally. But you're glad to be rid of this burden. Raven is the only one of the people you pushed away that you don't regret at all.

The other people – the few you had contact with – were a couple of old friends from nursing school you went out for a beer with once in a while. You didn't consider them close friends, but it was nice to get away from your routine sometimes. They tried to contact you several times these months to catch up. You always refused with lame excuses until they stopped looking for you altogether.

And now you're alone in the little kingdom you've created for yourself, with your stone shield protecting your still fragile heart.

You're good on your own, so loneliness doesn't weigh too heavily on you. But you missed talking to someone every once in a while. There were times when the need to hear advice or an opinion different from the voice in your head was compelling. And so – because of that, and because of the aftermath of the trauma that weighs like a boulder on your chest – you made what may have been the only completely rational decision of your life: you went to therapy.

Dr. Rios is very patient with you, especially when she has to deal with your omissions and lies about your job and what really happened with Johnny. You told her that you work for the government, so you can't reveal classified information. That is, a load of bullshit to avoid telling her what you really were: a mercenary.

You know there's doctor-patient confidentiality, but you're pretty sure she's still entitled to alert the authorities if one of her patients has committed a violent crime. And the last thing you need right now is the cops at your door.

So, in therapy, you became Leon. You took his place and stole his job to cover your ass. And you know you're pathetic, but pretending to be a government agent like him is what makes you think he's still a part of your life somehow. A way to keep him around, maybe. The only way you have left.

You have often thought about your decision, wondering if you made the right choice, thinking what a huge mistake it would be if you were wrong.

But in that moment, you were as fragile as a crystal glass. You're only now learning to fix yourself, to be right for yourself before you can be right for anyone else. And slowly you're making progress.

You needed this time alone, away from everyone, to focus solely on your own well-being.

And even if you had given it a chance, you would have made him suffer even more. Because if he really is who he says he is, if his intentions are pure, he deserves so much better than what you would have had to offer him.

But you can't deny that you miss him. You miss him so very much.

You wish you could have met him under different circumstances. In another life, maybe.

You stay awake until 7 a.m., until exhaustion takes over your body and forces you to sleep to keep you alive.

And you sleep, sleep, until the ringing of your doorbell awakens you. You look at the clock, it's 11 a.m. You frown, wondering who it could be. No one ever visits you, especially not in the morning.

The last time someone knocked on your door, you were confronted with the ugly face of Michael Raven. And as you get up from the couch, sore from the position in which you fell asleep and still sleepy, you huff and pray that it's your neighbor who's come to ask if you have any butter to spare and not another ghost from your past that you're trying so hard to forget.

You approach the door and turn the million locks before opening it. And when you do, you wonder if you're still asleep. You really are facing a ghost from your past. A real one, it seems. You keep staring at the person in front of you in disbelief. You feel your heart beating wildly and put a hand on your chest, still trying to figure out if this is all a dream. A good one this time.

"Jane?" you whisper.

The redheaded girl in front of you smiles. "Hi."

You don't know how to react. You stand frozen in front of her, one hand gripping the door frame. You often agonized over her death, wondering how her father was doing, how he reacted when he found out. You also thought of Victoria and the immense emptiness she must have felt after losing a piece of her heart.

And instead, here she is. She's alive and well in front of you, with bright eyes and a dazzling smile.

She's even more beautiful than the day you met her. She wears a small green dress with a black jacket, black loafers with white and green socks just above her ankles, pink eye shadow that brings out her large green eyes, and red lip gloss on her lips. Seeing her like this is much better than seeing her in the black uniform she was forced to wear, and the terror that adorned her face is now replaced by what can only be described as serenity.

"I thought you were..." you put a hand to your mouth, trying to hide your trembling lips. But tears inevitably fill your tired eyes.

"I almost was." she says, clutching two fingers nervously.

You shake your head slightly, wipe your eyes, and smile, not forcibly this time. "I'm glad you're okay."

She smiles. "How about we go get a cup of coffee?"

"Sure."

"I'll meet you at the coffee shop on 10th Street. Do you know it?"

Of course you do. It's the one that used to be your father's shop, the place where his room still stands. You haven't set foot in it since you found it ransacked with Leon. You still don't have the guts to go back there and see your father's things destroyed. Especially now that you know who's responsible for it. You discussed this with Dr. Rios as well. She told you to take your time, that you'll figure it out when you're ready.

And with her, it's another person who knows the room exists. Your father must be very disappointed.

"I do."

"Good, see you there."

You nod, smiling. Jane waves to you before she leaves. You don't look away for a second, still unable to digest what just happened.

You're getting ready to leave the house to do something other than go to the doctor's office. Your hands are still shaking as you wash your face. You look in the mirror and take a deep breath to mentally prepare yourself. You're nervous, you can't help it. If Jane came looking for you, it's because she has something to tell you. And you can't help but think that Leon has something to do with it. The two of them seemed to get along better, even if only for a short time. So it seems almost obvious to you that she would have looked for him first.

Have they seen each other? Did they talk about you? What will they have said?

But at this point, all you need to know is that he's okay. It doesn't matter if he hates you.

After about half an hour, you park your car in front of the coffee shop. You grip the steering wheel as you look at the little shop where you used to play as a child, hiding from your father, who found you right away, but pretended to struggle to make you think you managed to fool him.

Now, through the window, you see Jane sitting alone, waiting for you. Your hands are still on the steering wheel as you think about turning back. Anything that takes you back to those days makes you feel sick, and you don't know if you have the strength to face it.

But you watch her as she looks around, smiling at the people around her, as she looks out to see if you've arrived yet. You watch her squeeze something into her hands and smile softly as she looks at it before stuffing it back into her floral canvas bag.

And you don't have the courage to leave her there. You can't disappoint her as well.

You take a deep breath and get out of the car, walking slowly towards the entrance. Jane sees you through the window and smiles at you, waving to show you where she's sitting. You smile back and join her as you enter a place full of memories and happy moments that you remember with nostalgia and a little bit of bitterness.

You join her in her seat as she looks up at you with a smile and flushed cheeks. "Hello again."

You don't respond to her greeting, just return the smile as you sit in the booth opposite her, your back to the window. You remain silent for a while, looking at each other with slight embarrassment, until the waiter comes to take your order. A few minutes later, her latte and your coffee with creamer arrive.

You watch her add a little sugar with a serene expression on her face. You clutch your steaming hot cup in your hands, a thousand questions running through your mind. Jane feels watched and looks up to meet your gaze with an embarrassed smile.

You drop your eyes to your cup. "I'm sorry, it's just..." you look up again and meet her beautiful green eyes once more. "How is this possible? I saw you die." you say quietly, making sure no one around you can hear your conversation.

"You saw me lose consciousness. I woke up shortly after and had the strength to drag myself to the hallway before I passed out again. And then my father found me. I was in a very bad shape," she takes a sip of her latte, "Luckily, there were blood bags in the lab for serum testing. My father and one of his colleagues took me away and gave me a transfusion before calling for help. I was in the hospital for two weeks. And now here I am, still alive and with an extra scar." she chuckles, touching her belly where the scar from the bullet hole is.

You take a sip of your coffee and think about that moment. While you were fighting for your life in a room on the 20th floor, she was fighting for hers a few floors below. While your world was collapsing around you, a father's world was filled with the hope of seeing his daughter still breathing.

You thought only of the consequences of what Johnny did to you, and now you are faced with what he did to another person, an innocent victim of his madness, guilty only of living in the wrong place.

"What happened to Jacksondale?"

"The government took care of it. It wasn't hard to make a town disappear that wasn't on any map." she smiles bitterly, thinking back to everything she knew destroyed in an instant.

The government took care of it. Was it because of the intel Leon provided when he came back? You think about how he felt when he realized that he was a victim of the events that led to the destruction of yet another place. Twice in one lifetime. If he told it, no one would believe it.

You nod before looking at her and smiling, trying to put a positive spin on the conversation. "And how are you now? How's Victoria?"

She smiles, and her eyes light up at the mention of her name. "I'm fine, wonderfully. I moved temporarily with my father, who got a job nearby in another pharmaceutical company. Legal this time," she giggles, propping her elbow on the table and resting her face in her hand. A strand of curly red hair falls across her face. The rest of her voluminous hair is tied up in two space buns with two green ribbons. "I got a job in a restaurant, and now Victoria and I are looking for a house so we can finally move in together."

You smile, genuinely happy for her, but also a little jealous. Even though you have no right to be. After all, you're the one who decided to push everyone away from you. With the virtue of avoiding all suffering comes the great flaw of depriving yourself of a happy life with someone you love. Normally, you wouldn't care too much about being alone if you hadn't met someone who made you not want to be alone anymore.

"Speaking of Victoria," Jane begins, jerking in her chair like a spring before reaching into her canvas bag and pulling out something. And immediately you think back to the moment when you saw her smile as she looked at something and then put it back in her bag.

She hands you two small paintings. One painting of a sunset sky that gradually fades into the other painting, a sky full of stars. You stare at them, mesmerized by the beauty of the details, the blending of the colors, the precise brushstrokes on two such small canvases. "She made them for you – one for you and one for Leon."

You look at the girl in front of you in amazement. "Why?"

Jane laughs. "I told her there was a chance you would ask me that, so she made sure to answer you. Turn the painting over."

You look at her confusedly for a few seconds before you do what she told you. You turn over one of the paintings and read the sentence Victoria wrote.

For you,

For saving the only star capable of illuminating my sky.

You shake your head as you feel the now familiar lump in your throat. You didn't save anyone, on the contrary. You're the main reason she risked death. You don't deserve all this gratitude, the credit for bringing her home safely. You did nothing to make sure she came out alive. You did nothing.

Tears stream down your tired face. "No, I don't deserve it." you wipe away your tears and push the paintings on the table towards Jane, who immediately pushes them back towards you. "Yes, you do. Leon saved my father and destroyed the serum, preventing anyone from using it again. And you killed the man who was the cause of all our suffering. His death set us free. And it's because of you."

You thin your lips and nod, accepting the gift that, deep in your heart, you still believe you don't deserve. "She really does love you."

"Looks like it." she smiles, and her freckled cheeks turn red.

You keep looking at the paintings in front of you, thinking about what Jane said. One is for you, the other is for Leon. That means she didn't get a chance to talk to him, that she looked for you first. And what she tells you next confirms your doubts, "I tried to find Leon to give him the painting in person, but I only knew his name. So I thought maybe you could give it to him for me?"

And your heart misses a beat. Your face drops and you lower your eyes, and your reaction worries Jane. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no, not at all," you smile forcibly, briefly resting one of your hands on hers and squeezing it. "It's just that I don't see how I can help you."

"How so?"

"I haven't seen Leon since the same day as you."

Jane opens her eyes wide in surprise. "Oh." she utters, clearly embarrassed.

You smile at her apologetically, although you don't really know what you're apologizing for. Maybe for not being able to do her this favor, or for disappointing her expectations.

"I'm sorry." she says, leaning against the headboard of her lilac-colored chair.

"For what?"

"For what happened between you."

You frown and break into a confused smile. "Nothing happened between us." you lie. You don't feel like telling the truth. Especially since you already know the look she would give you if you told her the reason for your estrangement. You don't feel like being scolded, let alone pitied. So lying comes easier to you.

But Jane is more perceptive than you thought. She looks at you with the face of someone who has called your bluff. "You don't believe what you're saying either."

You scoff and lower your eyes, trying to hide the blush on your face at being caught in the act. But you continue with your lies, trying to convince yourself as well. "We were just business partners."

"Business partners don't look at each other the way you two did."

You look at her with astonishment in your eyes, unable to say anything. You have never thought about how your relationship might be perceived from the outside.

You try to remember the way he looked at you, but unlike Jane, you don't remember. Every time you think about his eyes, you see the sad and disappointed look he had the last time you looked at him.

"Oh crap," Jane curses as she looks at her golden watch. "My shift starts soon, I really have to go."

"Don't worry." you smile slightly, your mind still clouded by her words from earlier.

She pushes the two paintings across the table towards you, resting her fingers on the one of the starry sky, the one probably meant for Leon. "I'm counting on you."

"Jane, I-"

"Take it as a sign." she smiles, leaves her latte money next to her empty cup and gets up. You nod, knowing you can't win this argument.

The girl waves at you and you do the same, watching as she hurries out of the cafeteria. You sit in front of your empty cup and the two paintings for a while, thinking about what just happened. You run your fingertips over them, feeling the slight unevenness of the brushstrokes. You pick up Leon's painting and turn it over to read Victoria's sweet words once more.

But when you do, you realize that the inscription isn't the same for both paintings. Rather, Leon's painting reads like a continuation of what Victoria wrote on yours. Just like what they depict, the dedications complement each other.

You immediately turn it over again, take them both, leave your money on the table, and leave the cafeteria as quickly as possible to avoid bursting into tears in front of everyone. You lock yourself in the car, put the paintings and your bag on the seat next to you, and let yourself go into a liberating cry.

You cry for everything you have been holding in for the past months, for what you've been through, for the decisions you made.

But now it's too late. You've made a mistake that you cannot undo. And you must learn to live with the consequences of your actions. You wipe away your tears and go home, resigned, for there is no use crying over spilled milk.

As soon as you enter your house, you put the paintings on the coffee table in front of your couch, on which you throw yourself headlong. You stay there all day, trying to distract yourself with TV, with a book, drinking beer, which you then forget, and which gets warm. But your eyes inevitably fall on those wonderful paintings you can't stop thinking about.

And especially that sentence, that damned sentence written by a person you don't even know, but which has crushed you inside. Such a beautiful thought that should make you smile and instead fills you with sadness. Because what Victoria perceived between you and Leon only through Jane's stories, even if she spent only a few hours with you, you could have really had, if only you hadn't let yourself be frightened.

You feel you have failed everyone. You failed Leon, Jane, even Victoria. And you've failed yourself.

You don't regret taking time for yourself, you needed it. You were half a person, and you had to find your wholeness on your own. But you bitterly regret how you treated him, humiliated him, hurt him. You thought it would make it easier for him to forget you, and instead you just made sure that the you who's now trying to take her life back can no longer fix the irremediable mistake she made.

Now you have an excuse to go see Leon, to see how he's doing. But you're a coward. You're afraid of his reaction, of his possible rejection.

In short, you're afraid of suffering what you made him suffer.

Cowardly and also hypocritical.

You open a second beer, hold the bottle in your hand and walk around your house, trying to clear your mind of a thousand thoughts. The condensation drops on your fingers. You take a sip every time you think about what to do and curse yourself for not having something stronger. You take a deep breath and pick up Leon's painting from your coffee table, looking at it closely before turning it over and rereading the carefully and thoughtfully written sentence. You also think about Dr Rios' words.

"Do you really think pushing everyone away was the right choice for you?" she told you, adjusting the glasses that had slipped down her nose.

You shifted in the leather chair across from her. "It was the only way to stop someone else from hurting me again."

The woman nodded. "Are you satisfied with your painless life now?"

"It's not painless," you smiled bitterly. "Not at all."

"Exactly. You still don't realize that by trying to avoid suffering, you're hurting yourself even more. Isn't it better to suffer knowing that you have loved than to suffer with the regret of not having done so?"

You take the last sip of your beer and take a deep breath. You look at the clock on your kitchen wall. And so, you decide that at 8 p.m. on a Friday night, you must try to make up for one of your biggest regrets. You decide that you can't spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been. You take a risk. And if it goes wrong, at least you can say you tried. Even if it's too late.

You get in your car and drive to Leon's house without a second thought. You remember reading his address when you were researching him, and you never forgot it. It's not far from your house, but it's not close either. You drive for two hours, rethinking what you're doing and thinking more than once that maybe you should have turned the car around and gone back. But with all these second thoughts and worries, you finally arrive at your destination. You park your car in front of Leon's house, and just like this morning in front of the cafeteria, you sit still in the car, thinking about what to do, gripping the steering wheel tightly between your fingers. You look at the painting again, take a deep breath and get out of the car. Then you walk to his front door and ring the doorbell before you can change your mind. You read his name on the bell and feel butterflies in your stomach.

You hold the painting in your hands, close your eyes, and feel your heart pound with anticipation. You don't even know if he's home, he could very well have been away for weeks on another mission, you didn't even think about that possibility when you started driving impulsively.

And when, after a while, no one comes to answer the door, you think that this is the case. Or maybe, unlike you, he has a social life and isn't home feeling sorry for himself on a Friday night.

You sigh, resigned and ready to leave, when you finally hear the sound of the lock opening, and after a few seconds, Leon's surprised face greets you. But the surprise doesn't last long and is soon replaced by a blank expression. Annoyed even.

Leon doesn't say anything, he looks at you intensely. And if looks could kill, someone would be digging your grave right now. He leans his forearm against the doorjamb. He's wearing black sweatpants and a gray shirt. His hair is a little messy, but it still frames his face perfectly. You can see a little bit of stubble on his face and dark circles under his beautiful – and right now hard to look at – blue eyes.

"Hi." you say, smiling slightly as you squeeze the painting even tighter between your fingers.

"Hey." he replies in an indifferent tone.

Maybe you wished he had slammed the door in your face or yelled at you how much he hated you. At least that would have meant that he still had feelings for you, bad as they might be. Instead, his apathy hits you like a punch in the gut.

"I'm sorry to barge in so late, I didn't mean to disturb you. I should've-"

"Why are you here?" he abruptly cuts you off.

You bite your lip and sigh, trying to keep your calm. "I came to give you this," you hand him the painting you were holding so tightly.

Leon looks at you confused and then takes it reluctantly. He looks at it, still unsure how to react, unsure of what it means. "Jane gave it to me." you let out.

He snaps his head at you and looks at you in disbelief. His lips part slightly as if to say something, but nothing comes out.

"She's still alive," you smile and nervously touch the flap of skin under your earlobe, looking everywhere but into his eyes, which fill you with terrible awe. "She came to see me and gave me two paintings that Victoria made for both of us. She couldn't reach you, so she asked me to give you yours. And here I am."

His expression is impassive again. He nods and puts a hand on the door, ready to close it in your face now that you've done what you came for. "Thank you."

"I also came to tell you that I'm sorry," you say, your heart threatening to tear your chest apart. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you, for the things I said. I didn't mean them, and you didn't deserve to hear them. Please know that every day I regret the choice I made, and if I could go back," you lower your head, feeling his gaze burn on your head. "I would never let you go." you confess, bitter tears streaming down your guilty face, which you wipe away immediately, out of embarrassment and pride.

Leon looks at you without showing any emotion, almost as if what you told him didn't touch him at all. As you thought, it's too late. You have lost him. But can you blame him?

You sigh and close your eyes, your cheeks red with tears and embarrassment. His silence is as sharp as a thousand blades striking you at the same time. "That's all, sorry for bothering you." you turn and walk a few steps away before turning back to him, already about to close the door on you.

"Leon," you call, making him stop suddenly. His eyes look at you one last time. "Turn it over."

Leon knits his eyebrows together, confused. He watches you leave without asking for an explanation, but then his gaze focuses on the painting he holds in his hands. He looks at it briefly before turning it over, just as you told him to.

And behind it, he reads something that puzzles him, that fascinates him. A sentence that seems to be the continuation of something, like the other half of a lost poem. He looks up at you again, but you're already gone.

And he reads those words on the canvas over and over, wondering what they really mean.

With the hope and desire that the sky of your love will be just as ardently lighted.

Notes:

HA! You really thought you were reading another story with the bury your gays trope. Not on my watch! My girl Jane is alive and well and is thriving with Victoria. I hope you didn't see this one coming cause I was very excited for this plot twist. Did I get you?

Angst Angst Angst, am I right? Sit tight cause I promise all of this is going to be worth it in the end.

Also, I know Leon was actually there when THREE places were destroyed, if we consider the island in Spain, but reader doesn't know that lmaooo.

Hope you enjoyed, let me know your thoughts. And THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 500 KUDOS WHAT. Ily. 3 3

Chapter 18: How to Stitch an Open Wound

Summary:

You go back to your father's room, and when you come home, there's something waiting for you.

Notes:

New chapter! Hope you enjoy.
Happy reading.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You look out the window of the doctor's office. Rain is beating hard on the roof. The drops soak the window. They run fast, as if in a race.

"What comes to mind when I ask you of something beautiful?"

You sigh pensively. Something beautiful. You don't know if you've ever experienced something truly beautiful that wasn't also tainted with sorrow. "I don't know."

"Think about it."

You bite the skin of your finger, your mind is blank. You shake your head and smile sheepishly. Right now you feel pathetic. Can you live a whole life without having a single happy memory? Something that doesn't inevitably remind you of another moment of sorrow?

The doctor tilts her head and looks at you through the thick lenses of her rectangular glasses. "It doesn't have to be a time when you were truly happy. Any memory that brings you some serenity will do. Is there a time when you did something that made you feel relaxed or fascinated?"

"Yes," you think, "there is, actually."

Dr. Rios nods. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

You cross your legs in the brown leather chair. The doctor smiles as she sees you relax. "When I was in eleventh grade, my class went to Rome. We visited many places, saw priceless works of art. But there was one that caught my eye, and I could never get it out of my mind. "

"What was it?"

"Bernini's Rape of Proserpine."

The doctor frowns. She knows nothing about the work of art you're talking about, and the name troubles her a little. You smile at her reaction. "Yes, we were all thinking the same thing. The first thing the guide did when we arrived in front of the statue was to point out that the more correct translation would actually be 'The Abduction of Proserpine'."

"Not that it's any better, don't you think?"

You chuckle. "You have a point."

"What struck you about this work?"

"It has a very interesting story," you begin, and your eyes fill with a light they haven't seen in a long time. "In the legend, Proserpine was picking flowers when she was kidnapped by Pluto. Her mother, Ceres, who was also the goddess of agriculture, was so distressed by the news of her daughter's abduction that she decided to dry up the earth and ruin the harvests. So Jupiter tried to fix the situation and made a pact: Ceres would have her daughter for six months, and the other six months she would be with Pluto in the underworld. The months Proserpine spends with her mother are said to represent spring and summer, when everything blooms. The months she spends with Pluto represent fall and winter, when everything dries up and dies."

The doctor listens intently and curiously as you regale her with legends about the Roman gods. "So this is what fascinated you about the artwork, its story."

You shake your head and smile. "Yes, but there was something else."

"What was it?"

You think back to that moment when you were in a museum in one of the oldest and most beautiful cities in the world, admiring something you will never be able to see again. You smile candidly at the memory, realizing that the doctor has succeeded in her intent. "As everyone moved on with the guide to the next piece of art, I stopped in front of the statue. People passed by, looking and taking pictures, while I stood still, mesmerized. I wondered how it was possible that one man, using only his hands and talent, could turn a piece of marble into something so poignant,"

The doctor watches you carefully, trying to catch every little expression or excitement in your voice. "I couldn't stop staring at Pluto's fingers squeezing Proserpine's thighs, making little furrows in her skin. It was so incredibly detailed I couldn't believe it wasn't real." you remember with a smile on your face and your eyes still fixed on the incessant rain outside the window.

"Picture that moment when you think you're living an empty life," Dr. Rios says, grabbing your attention and prompting you to look at her. "Don't focus only on the bad things you've been through. Think about what makes you forget, even for a second. Think about what makes you appreciate the world around you. Life is not just about suffering."

You lower your eyes to your hands and nod.

"You just need to find your Ceres. Something or someone that will make you blossom."

You let out a sardonic chuckle. "It's not that easy."

"It's true," the doctor rests her notebook and pen on the mahogany table in front of her. "but I believe in you."

Your doctor's session ends shortly thereafter, and you head back to your car. The rain shows no signs of stopping or even easing up. For some reason, the sound of the drops on your black umbrella relaxes you.

Your eyes are fixed on the road ahead as the windshield wipers do their best to make your view clearer.

You can't help but think of Dr. Rios' words. All you have to do is look for your Ceres. What if you'd already found them, but let them slip away? Would you know how to find another? What if you can no longer blossom? What if your root dried up, what if it died? What if you're actually Pluto? What if you're the one preventing others from blooming?

Your head is full of thoughts, you keep pondering over what happened. You think about your meeting with Leon a few days ago, his poker face.

You think about the fact that he didn't say anything to you. You wish you could have heard what he was thinking, what he was feeling at that moment. You wanted him to tell you to fuck off, even. Instead, all you got was a looming, heavy silence. A silence that has haunted you ever since.

And you wonder if maybe you were right. You wonder if he really did feel for you what he led you to believe.

His silence has caused you so much doubt that you often wish you had never sought him out.

The road ahead becomes familiar as you pass the place where you had coffee with Jane. The place where you spent the most carefree years of your life. You pass it, but a feeling inside you becomes pressing, imposing, not letting you be.

The doctor had told you that you would know when it was time to face what awaits you in that cold, dark room. In what is your only legacy, all you have left of your father.

You slam on the brakes and make sure no one is behind you before you turn around to reach that room, your room.

You park in the same spot you parked the other day, with heavy rain falling on your windshield. You see the dim lights coming from the cafeteria and hear the voices and laughter of the people inside.

You grab your dripping umbrella and get out of the car, heading for the back. You look around for fear of being followed. You get that a lot after what Johnny told you. And today the fear is even greater because it was when you came here that he watched you and initiated the plan that ruined your life.

You lean your back against the wall and look out for a few minutes, waiting for someone to come, which fortunately doesn't happen this time.

The rain makes it harder for you to find the piece of grass to move, but after a few tries you find it, and moving it reveals the trapdoor. You look at it, petrified. You think you've made the wrong choice; you don't know if you're ready. You hold out your trembling hand and look at it before clenching it into a fist and taking a deep breath.

You take one last look around before you duck down and open the trapdoor. The stairs are steep, but they seem even steeper to you now.

You descend and walk down the long hallway, leaving behind the wet footprints of your boots and the dripping from your closed umbrella. The door is unlocked, an oversight caused by the rush you were in the last time you were here. But you don't mind. Even if someone had found it in the meantime, there was nothing else they could have taken or destroyed.

You press the door handle and wait a few seconds before entering. You feel your heart beating wildly, almost as if it wanted to burst through your chest.

When you open the door, everything is exactly as it was the last time you were here. His record player is still on the floor, broken. His journals are torn up and all the tools he used during his years of work that he cared so much about are scattered around the room. Some of them were used to break the glass windows of his furniture and, of course, to open the vault.

You look around you with a broken heart. But this time you don't cry. Maybe you have used up all the tears you had left.

You place your bag and umbrella in a corner by the door and begin to tidy up.

You wipe the floor of the glass, pick up your father's tools and put them back in their box, pick up his record player and put it back on the shelf where it was before it was thrown hard to the floor. You try to make the room look decent and keep everything that was in it.

Even though the glass is shattered, his writings are shredded, and his records are broken in half, you can't throw anything away. You put it back in its place, even if it is not in the condition it was in before.

When you pick up his journals, you read a few pages – what you can still read. He wrote everything in them. From the strangest and rudest customers who came into his store to how many times you came in to ask him for money for ice cream that week.

As you flip through one of the journals, a picture falls at your feet. You pick it up and when you look at it, a smile comes to your face. It's a picture of the two of you on the beach when you went on vacation to California. You're both smiling next to a sandcastle.

And finally, at that moment, tears wet your face. But they're not tears of sadness, they're tears of longing. Johnny may have destroyed everything in here, but he didn't destroy the memory you have of your father.

You wipe them away and put his journals back on the desk, exactly where he left them, before approaching the door and getting your things. You take one last look around the room, definitely tidier, which now has another story to tell, as painful as it is.

You turn off the light and leave, walking out with more serenity in you. And also, with pride in yourself for having managed to face one of the demons that haunted you.

You're slowly making progress. You're not what you were before, and you never will be. You will never be the carefree child who asked her father for money for ice cream. But you won't let what happened to you ruin your future. You will use it to your advantage to improve yourself, to learn from your mistakes.

You get back in the car and drive home as the rain gets heavier. When you park, you grab all your things and get ready for the short walk to your apartment building.

You love the heavy rain, but only when you're inside your house, watching it through the window with a hot cup of coffee in your hands. Now that all your clothes and hair are wet, even though you're holding your umbrella tightly, you're annoyed. You pick up your pace to get to your house faster, keeping your eyes on your boots, which are making noise as they walk through the puddles that have formed on the side of the road.

When you arrive at your front door, however, there are other boots in your field of vision besides your own. Another pair of black boots, bigger than yours and definitely much wetter. You pay no attention to them, thinking immediately of someone waiting to come in.

But then you finally look up. His completely wet blonde hair has turned a little darker. His eyes are also darker and as tired as the last time you saw him. His jaw is set, and his gaze is serious as he watches you, the heavy rain falling on him like bullets.

"Leon," you whisper in disbelief. You feel your legs suddenly getting weaker and an empty feeling in your stomach. A feeling you can't quite describe. You feel butterflies in your stomach, but it's the same thing you feel when you're afraid. You don't know what's causing it right now. Are you happy or are you scared?

He says nothing. He continues to look at you intently without moving a muscle while the rain continues to fall on him. "You're soaking wet." you approach him, ready to offer him the protection of your umbrella, without thinking if the closeness between you that this gesture implies is appropriate. But his words stop you, paralyze you, strike you in the heart with extreme force. You don't know what to say, how to react.

This time you're sure that that feeling in your stomach is from fear. "We haven't seen each other in three months, and then you show up at my door," his tone is harsh. You look at him, unable to say anything. You let him talk, let him say whatever he has to say. "Then you apologize to me," he smiles bitterly, "were you trying to clear your conscience?"

You shake your head, "That's not why I apologized to you."

"Frankly, I don't give a shit about your apology."

And at that moment, you're no longer sure whether you prefer his harsh words to indifference. Because what he says to you, no matter how much you expected it, makes you feel like shit. You lower your head, unable to look him in the eye, as you swallow and bite your lip to keep the tears from wetting your face. Unlike him, you cannot hide them with the rain wetting your cheeks.

"I want to know why." you look at him and frown. "One moment you smile and hold my hand, the next you treat me like shit. So instead of feeding me a bunch of stupid set phrases, tell me, what did I do to you?" he comes a few steps closer to you. His hard, angry look is now filled with sadness. "What did I do?"

His eyes are filled with questions. You look at him and realize that all these months he has been torturing himself, wondering what he did wrong. He always thought it was his fault, when the fault is only with what you have inside.

While you thought you were making his life easier, Leon felt guilty about something he didn't even do.

You thought he would hate you, you even thought he would think you were crazy, but you never would have thought he would put all the blame for your estrangement on himself, constantly questioning what he did to make you push him away. You thought all the resentment he felt was for you, but instead, because of you, he feels it for himself as well.

You feel mortified, you feel like shit. You shake your head as the tears you have been trying to hold back flow uncontrollably. "You've done nothing wrong."

"Then why did you push me away?"

"Because I wasn't the right person for you. You deserved better than what I could give you."

Leon scoffs and shakes his head slightly. His wet hair sticks to his forehead. "You're so fucking selfish."

You open your eyes wide in disbelief. You were many things with him, but certainly not selfish. Not in the end. His words aren't fair, and you're not okay with that. "Excuse me? I cut you off before it became harder. I did what I did so that you wouldn't suffer more in the future."

"Oh, because I'm doing great now, aren't I?" he says ironically. And you don't know what to say anymore. All the words you had to defend yourself against what you thought were unfounded accusations are gone.

You realize how much you underestimated him and, more importantly, how much you underestimated the intensity of his feelings for you. Whenever you imagined your hypothetical meeting, you always imagined him angry, disappointed, but never hurt.

"It was up to me to decide if you were right for me. It was my choice, mine alone," he says, pointing his finger at his chest. "And you took it away from me."

You're still speechless. Nothing you could say would make up for even a little. You always assumed it would take him little to move on. You thought he would probably even forget you after a while.

You know you were unfair and mean, yes, but you never thought you were selfish. And this new realization is tearing you apart.

You always assumed that you were doing the right thing for him and for yourself, without considering how much you were hurting both of you.

"You didn't even give me time to find out who you were. You kept me from getting to know you."

"I'm sorry." you whisper.

Leon watches you as your eyes are downcast and your lips are slightly parted. He understands that his words have opened your eyes to something you hadn't even considered. He understands that you truly believed you were doing the right thing for him, even if he still doesn't understand why. He feels there's something else you're not telling him.

When he saw you that night, his heart skipped a beat. He didn't think he would ever see you again after the rough way you treated him the last time you saw him. And when he laid his eyes on you, everything he felt for you flooded back into his heart with unprecedented power.

Everything he felt for you. Including disappointment, sadness, and anger toward you.

And he didn't say anything because he didn't have the strength to, because he was afraid he'd regret what he said. So, he just let you speak to see what you went there to do, what your intention was.

Then you gave him the painting. And as happy as he was to hear that Jane was okay, he was a little disappointed that that was the only reason you came to see him. Until you started to apologize, and more importantly, until you admitted that you regretted everything. That if you could go back, you would never let him go.

Those words haunted him day and night ever since. So did the words behind Victoria's painting that you had specifically asked him to read.

Until those thoughts drove him to come to you in the pouring rain without even bringing an umbrella. Because when it comes to you, he can't think rationally. He can't explain it. Despite everything, you're still the only thing he can't stop thinking about. The time you've spent together, your smile, your soft lips, even your determination to kill him. Everything. Everything about you fascinates and torments him at the same time.

Despite everything that happened, he couldn't get you out of his mind. You have bewitched him.

But he knows that his feelings are not enough. He knows that he needs to think more about himself and his own well-being. And even though he feels that the only way he can be happy is to be with you, he also knows that if his happiness seems like a mirage right now, it's because of you. So no matter how much the thought of it pains him, if necessary, he will let you go once and for all.

But he won't do it without fighting first. It's his nature, after all.

"I know you are."

You look up at him and look into his eyes for the first time. You look at him and realize that – contrary to what you thought – you haven't lost him. At least not yet.

The fear is still there, everything you felt the moment you decided to push him away is still there, inside you, like a leech sucking all your blood.

But you got tired of letting the fear win. You got tired of robbing yourself of happiness, tormented by what ifs. For once, you decide to fight for something that's really worth it. You're tired of living a life of regret.

"You told me that day that needing help doesn't mean being weak," you begin to speak from the heart. You put all your cards on the table. "So I asked for help. I'm trying to work on myself, I'm trying to get better. There was half a person in front of you that day, and I'm doing everything I can to get the rest of me back. I'm making progress, albeit slowly. I haven't regained all of that part of me yet, but I'm here. This is what I have to offer for now. If your desire to know me is still alive, I am here. And this time, the choice is yours alone."

Leon looks at you and looks away shortly after. Only the sound of the rain fills the silence between you.

Your heart beats wildly, so hard that you think it might suddenly stop.

"Even if you regain that part of yourself, you'll no longer be the person I began to know,"

And again, that feeling in your stomach. Once more out of fear. You watch him as your heart keeps pounding and your breathing gets heavier.

Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe you did lose him.

"But even if I can't know who you used to be, I'll be glad to know who you are now."

You begin to breathe normally again. You feel like you're doing it for the first time. Tears fill your eyes again before falling down your face. You quickly wipe them away, overwhelmed by all that has happened. You look at Leon and smile, "I'm happy to hear that."

"That doesn't mean I've forgotten what you told me. You hurt me and the wound is still open."

It's still open, but it has stopped bleeding. And even though you held the knife that delivered the blow, you're the only one who can stitch it back up.

You lower your eyes. "I know."

Leon nods and sighs through his nose. "Okay," he moves the wet hair from his forehead. "I guess I'll see you then."

"Yes."

"Bye," he says, uttering your name. And it has never sounded better. The butterflies in your stomach are alive this time, colorful, no longer torn by fear.

You watch him walk off into the rain. You wish you never had to part with him again, but for now you're content with the promise you made to each other.

He turns back to you, and for the first time since you've seen each other again, he smiles at you. A faint but sincere smile. You smile, too, with bright, happy eyes, and wave at him. He waves back before disappearing around the corner of a building.

You stand there, outside your front door, in the rain, smiling. Something that was dormant in you has been rekindled. The dying flame has been revived, and this time you will do everything you can to keep it that way.

Notes:

We're getting somewhere!
If you're avid gamers like me, you may have noticed that their encounter vaguely resembles another very important encounter from one of the best games (in my opinion) of all time. I won't tell you which one, because I want to read your comments, haha! I take a lot of inspiration from what I admire.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I can't wait to post the next one.
Also, please keep in mind Bernini's statue, and if you don't know it, look it up!

See ya!

Chapter 19: Heart-to-heart Beer

Summary:

You and Leon are really starting to get to know each other.

Notes:

Hey guys! I'm pretty sure you're gonna enjoy this one.

I listened to The Gold by Manchester Orchestra & Phoebe Bridgers while writing this. The lyrics don't quite fit, but the vibe of that song is unmatched.

Happy (and this time it truly is) reading 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

A week has passed since you met in the rain. Every time you think of his smile, the butterflies in your stomach begin to fly free. And they became more and more, more and more colorful when he called you and asked to see you.

And now you're getting ready with your heart in your throat and your hands shaking. You can't wait to finally give yourself a second chance, to let him know you for who you really are. To learn with him about the new person you're becoming, to count with him the new scars on your body and soul. You want him to be the one to help you peel away, piece by piece, the armor you have welded on yourself, no matter how difficult it may be. Because you're still afraid, insecure, hurt. But you no longer feel like locking yourself in your abandoned castle, surrounded by misleading directions for anyone who tries to reach it.

You're afraid, but you're ready to face it. Because for every tear that wets your face, for every scream that leaves your throat, there will always be a hug, a kiss, a smile to fill your heart.

You grab the car keys and leave your house, ready to meet Leon halfway. Both literally and figuratively.

When he called you, he asked you to meet him at an Irish pub halfway between his house and yours. "I saw it the other day when I was driving by, and I really think you'll like it." he told you over the phone in a slightly nervous tone. You thought it was very sweet.

But now you're the one who's nervous as you watch the minutes and miles on the GPS dwindle. You turn up the radio and sing along to the lyrics, lightly tapping the steering wheel to the music trying to calm yourself down.

You can't even remember the last time you felt this way about someone. You don't even know if you've ever really felt this way before. Certainly not in the last few years, when all you could think about was your job and all its complications. You had a few flings, yes, but nothing that made you think about that person the next day. But with Leon it's different. Different than anything you've ever experienced. And it makes you curious, excited and scared at the same time.

Finally, you find yourself in front of the pub. A pretty old-fashioned pub with a big black sign that says St. John's in gold letters. The outside is blue, surrounded by pots of plants and flowers. On the bench in front of the pub, you notice familiar blond hair. Leon is sitting with his arms on the backrest and his legs crossed. His gaze is turned sideways. You stay in your parked car, watching him with your heart pounding. You notice every detail; the way his leg moves nervously, the way he swallows, the way his jaw clenches. And while you're concentrating on his perfect side profile, you suddenly find yourself watching his big blue eyes as he turns to you and notices your arrival. You quickly look away and get out of the car as he stands up and straightens his pants. He approaches you with an embarrassed smile on his face, just like the one that adorns yours. You wave to him, and he waves back.

"I see you have another car." he says after a few seconds of silence.

You look at him with a furrowed brow, before realizing that he's referring to the car you started your journey in, which blew up shortly after you arrived at your destination. You nod and turn to your new car, looking at it with both hands on your hips. "Yes, I had to, otherwise I would've been stuck in the house." you laugh nervously. Leon smiles.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you, by the way," you begin, expressing your paranoia that perhaps should have stayed in your head. "I just didn't want you to think I was pressuring you. I wanted you to decide when to meet at your own pace. I'm telling you this because I also don't want you to think that I'm ignoring you or that I don't care."

Leon looks at you with sweet eyes and smiles. "You really are different."

"I've actually always been an overthinker."

He nods, "Noted."

You smile sheepishly and lower your eyes, trying to hide the obvious blush on your face, and you don't even know why. A part of you is telling you to be more careful, not to expose yourself so much. It tells you to tread lightly because you still don't know what could happen. But you take a breath and try to silence it. You don't want to think about it, not now.

"Shall we?" he says, pointing to the entrance behind him. You nod and start to go, followed by Leon.

The interior of the pub is even more impressive. Behind the wooden bar are illuminated shelves with dozens of bottles of liquor on display. The tables are made of the same wood as the bar, some with booths and some with matching chairs. In one corner, there are also blue chairs that echo the color of the outside. The lights are dimmed, creating an intimate atmosphere. The place is full of people; groups of friends, couples, and people enjoying a quiet beer.

Leon turns to you briefly before pointing to a table for two. "What're you drinking?" he asks you, stopping at the bar.

"Oh, a blonde beer will do."

He gestures to you with his fingers before turning to the bartender. You take a seat at the table. Above you is a small built-in bookshelf with books on all things beer, some books on Ireland, and a few small pots of succulents. Everything is lit by small lights attached to the shelves. You stop to read the book titles with interest, but you're interrupted by Leon, who sits in front of you, resting your mug of cold beer on the coaster.

You grimace when you see that he has a mug of dark beer in front of him. "What?" he tells you amused.

"Is that Guinness?"

"Sure is. It's been a while since I've had one, and since we're in an Irish pub, I figured there was no better time."

You shake your head with another grimace and take a sip of your beer, immediately wiping the foam from your upper lip with a napkin. Leon chuckles. "You don't like it?"

"No." you shake your head, "It tastes like coffee. If I drink beer, I want it to taste like beer. If I want coffee, I go to a coffee shop."

Leon scoffs. "It doesn't taste like coffee at all."

You put your mug down on the table and look at him with a grin on your face, the grin of someone who knows they're right. "Taste it."

Leon returns your challenging look and raises the mug to his mouth, taking a sip of his beer. You continue to stare at him as he puts it back on the coaster without a word, looking down. "So?"

He hesitates for a second, "Okay, it tastes a little like coffee."

"I told you!"

"But it's good!"

You both laugh before a silence falls between you. It's an awkward silence, but not the kind you create because neither of you has anything to say. You both have a million things you want to say to each other, the problem is the obvious wall between you that needs to be slowly torn down. Of course, after what happened, you cannot go back to talking about anything and everything. Otherwise, the silent but imposing specter of the burden you still carry on your conscience would be sitting with you at the table, demanding to be taken into account.

Or maybe it's because, in reality, you and Leon never talked about anything and everything. You met and got to know each other in a most unusual situation where there was no time for small talk. Neither of you really knows how to deal with this situation, how to act like normal people. Because you're anything but normal. But you try.

"How's work?" you ask him, clutching the beer mug that's now wet with condensation.

"The usual." he scratches his head, "Tomorrow I leave for another mission, actually."

"Oh." you say, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible, even though you're not at all.

"I thought it would be a good idea to get together before I leave, since I don't know how long I'll be gone."

You smile, "Good thinking."

But the smile fades quickly. You lower your eyes to the liquid in your mug. You observe what used to be a thick layer of foam that has now become a light coating on the golden beer. "I'm sorry you can't take a break from that world."

"I deal with it." he smiles forcibly.

Leon is very good at what he does. It's no coincidence that he's one of the best agents in the Division of Security Operations. But you can see in his face that this was not what he wanted to do, this was not the life he wanted. You don't know what he went through to get to where he is, but you know it wasn't what he expected when he joined the force.

"What about you?"

You look up at him, who looks at you with apprehensive eyes. Normally you don't like it when people look at you like that, but you don't mind it this time. "I'm officially unemployed." you chuckle, "Not that I ever really was, because it wasn't legal work. But you get the idea."

"You quit?"

"Yeah."

"If this was the best thing for you, then you've made the right choice."

"It absolutely was."

Leon nods and takes a sip of his beer, which he seems to really like, unlike you. He watches you as you play with a slightly raised side of the beer coaster. Even though he tries not to show it, he's really worried about you. He was relieved when you told him that you had asked for help. Every day for three months – when he was trying to stop thinking about you without any success – he wondered how you were doing. Especially how you were dealing with Johnny's terrible stab in the back.

Even though he sees you quite well, he can still see that thread of sadness in your eyes that you try so hard to hide. His brain is telling him to take it easy and take small steps, but his heart is bursting with the desire to hold you in his arms.

He takes two big gulps of beer, trying to push the thought out of his head to avoid it somehow seeping into his demeanor. "What will you do now?"

"Money's not an issue, so for now I'm still trying to work on myself. Even though, you know, the feeling of uselessness is starting to get to me."

"You could go back to nursing school."

You scoff and shake your head. "No, I would feel like a fish out of water. That life is not for me anymore. Slowly I will find my way."

"I'm sure you will."

As your beer mugs slowly empty, you really start to talk about anything and everything. You talk about your lives; you tell him about your father, how he raised you alone, and his strange obsession with his room. You tell him about the time when, during your rebellious phase at 17, you ran away from home in the middle of the night to go to a party at your friend Jennifer's house because you knew the boy you liked would be there, and when you came home your father was sitting in the living room chair waiting for you to return with an extremely stern look on his face, a look you had never seen from him, and how you were grounded for two weeks. Leon tells you that he never really had a rebellious phase as a kid.

"But I can tell you about the time I fell into a hole in a field and broke my wrist chasing a kitten I wanted to pet." he tells you with a smile on his face and a slight blush on his cheeks that deepens with the sound of your laughter.

"I didn't take you for a cat person."

"Oh, I absolutely am. I don't know what I would give to have one. But with my job, it's impossible."

When your mugs are finally empty, Leon gets up to get two more beers, still the usual. He tries to convince you to try his, telling you that you might like it if you taste it again, but you flatly refuse.

And so you continue to talk, tongues loosened by alcohol. Leon tells you about the death of his parents, without going into detail, and that it was one of the things that drove him to become a policeman. You saw that he was having difficulty broaching the topic, so you changed the subject. Time passes, the initial awkwardness is completely gone, and you feel like you're talking to someone you've known for years. You're not usually someone who opens up easily, but with Leon it's different. You would spend whole days talking and listening to him. You've never felt so comfortable with anyone.

After another story of yours that made him laugh out loud, he stops and looks at you. His gaze is intense, his blue eyes scrutinizing you carefully. You look down and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, trying to hide the effect his eyes have on you. Your body is filled with a sudden warmth, while the usual butterflies fly undisturbed in your stomach.

Leon notices the effect he has on you. He smiles, finding you very sweet. He has discovered in you a person he never expected when he saw you for the first time. But when he got to know you a little better, he had imagined that underneath this thick layer of toughness there was a funny, emotional person who gets embarrassed by a simple look.

"I'm really happy to get to know the real you."

You look up and smile, pick up your mug and take a sip of your second beer. "So am I, really." you put the mug back on the table, squeeze it with both hands, and feel the coarseness of the glass with both thumbs. "Even though I was afraid."

"Afraid of me getting to know you better?"

You nod, your gaze still fixed on the mug, moving it slightly, watching the amber liquid move inside.

"Why?"

You feel as fragile as the glass you're holding and bolder than you would be if you hadn't drunk what was in it. You hesitate to answer, not sure if you want to expose your insecurities. But Leon keeps looking at you, waiting for an answer to this unexpected confession of yours from which you can never go back. "What if you find out that you actually don't like me?"

Leon sighs, lowers his head and closes his eyes, while you feel your heart bursting in your chest. "There is nothing you can do to make me dislike you. Even if you try."

And the fact that he's still here in front of you after the way you treated him proves it. Although being angry about someone's behavior and realizing that you don't really like that person are two different things. You look at him with gleaming eyes, a bright and sweet smile on his face.

"Well, there's nothing you can do now, because let me tell you, saying I didn't like you at all when I first met you is an understatement." he says jokingly but truthfully, trying to lift your spirits and distract you from your insecurities.

You open your mouth wide and pretend to be offended. "It goes both ways, you know."

"You were obnoxious, stubborn, so incredibly set in your ways it was painful."

"And you were a first-class egomaniac, a know-it-all, and straight up rude. Not to mention that if I had looked up the definition of hero complex in a dictionary, I would have found your picture."

You both laugh until the laughter fades, and your eyes remain locked together. The smiles on your faces are still there, fixed, as if drawn on your luminous faces.

You want to tell him that then you realized that he really cares about the people around him, that he's a selfless person, that he would put his life in danger without thinking for a second if it meant keeping those in need safe. You realized it wasn't a complex, it wasn't a way to show off – it's just who he is.

He wants to tell you that then he realized that underneath this armor you've created for yourself, there's actually a person worth discovering, and he can't wait to remove every piece to appreciate who you really are.

But neither of you says anything, there's no need. Your eyes speak for you.

But your moment is interrupted when Leon looks at his watch and sighs. You look at the clock in the pub and realize that you've been together for hours now, even though it feels like only a few minutes.

"Do you have to go?"

"I wish I didn't."

You smile and stand up, putting your hands on your hips. "But you have to go home and get some sleep. You don't want to leave exhausted, do you?"

Leon smiles and shakes his head. Although he really wishes he could stay with you again, to get to know you better, to see what you're really like when you're not threatened by the blade of the scythe of death at your throat. He wants to keep having beers with you while telling you about his life and listening to anecdotes about yours.

On the bright side, though, he's glad to have something big to motivate him for his mission. As always, he doesn't plan on dying, but his determination will be even stronger now that he knows he has something and someone waiting for him when he returns.

After paying you leave the pub and walk to Leon's car. He wanted to walk you back to yours, but you insisted, his car being parked further away. You want to make the most of every second you have left, not knowing when you will see each other again.

You stop in front of his car. Leon looks away and runs a hand through his thick hair. Neither of you knows how to act, what is the most appropriate way to say goodbye.

Finding yourself in this situation almost makes you laugh when you think about how your closeness began. You started from the height of intimacy and now you blush at the very thought of his caress. And judging by his behavior, Leon is thinking the same thing.

You lower your gaze as a sudden warmth permeates your body as you imagine Leon thinking back to the moment you shared in that room. But all those thoughts have inevitably led your brain to remind you of everything that happened after that moment. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, trying to push away the memories that cause you pain, wishing with all your might that something so beautiful wouldn't forever be tainted with the sorrow that everything around you has caused you.

"Are you all right?" Leon asks you.

You look up at him, who looks at you with worried eyes. You smile slightly. "I'm fine."

Leon nods, although he doesn't seem convinced. "I'll call you as soon as I get back."

"Okay." you look at each other. Your heart is pounding, your hands are sweating. Your eyes move quickly, trying to catch every detail of his beautiful blue irises. You move closer to him, your hands resting on his shoulders as you leave a kiss on his cheek.

Leon remains still, surprised. Your lips linger on his rough cheek for a few seconds, just long enough for him to fully enjoy the contact between you, which causes a vibration in his body. Your closeness after such a long time makes him nervous. His heart is beating so fast he can almost hear it. He hopes you don't, embarrassed. He closes his eyes, wishing time would stand still. Your scent fills his nostrils, intoxicating him.

But to his – and your – great disappointment, you pull away. "Be careful."

"You know me."

"I do. That's why I'm telling you to be careful."

Leon laughs and opens his car door. "Bye."

"Bye."

He stands for a few seconds, looking at you, before getting into the car. He waves to you, and you wave back, standing still to watch him leave the parking lot.

You smile and go back to your car, your heart full, having regained a little piece of that part of you that seemed like a mirage, but that is now waiting for you at the end of a dark tunnel.

Notes:

So, this was nice, wasn't it? Kinda cheesy sometimes but after all that suffering this is what everyone needed. As you can see, reader is still dealing with her trauma, but don't worry guys, only good things are gonna happen from now on.

None of you guessed the game I was referring to in the previous chapter :( it was The Last of Us Part II. If you've played it, you know which scene I took inspiration from. If you haven't, what are you doing? And if you don't actually play games, please watch the gameplay on Youtube cause I promise you won't be disappointed.

Leon Kennedy loves cats, you can argue with the wall.

I hope you enjoyed this, I can't wait to post the next one. :) We're very close to the end, it's gonna be 2, 3 chapters tops. It's not over yet but I already miss this story.
Let me know what you think. Thank you so much for all the love, you're so kind.

Until next time.

Chapter 20: Embrace

Summary:

You and Leon see each other again after his mission.

Notes:

Hi! This is a very long chapter, the longest one, actually. I thought about splitting it up but then decided against it cause it has to be read as a whole. This means this is officialy the last chapter before the epilogue. Kinda sad about it.

I listened to Sweat by zayn while writing this. Guys, let me tell you, it's the sexiest song I've ever listened to and I'm not even kidding. If you know it you definitely know what I'm talking about, if you don't know it, I highly suggest you listen to it. And if you decide to do it while reading this chapter, you'll know when to press play. :)

Happy reading 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Leon sits in the truck that Hunnigan sent to take him home. With one hand he holds ice to the cut on his eyebrow, which has stopped bleeding but is still swollen, while with the other he pulls his cell phone out of his pocket, not without wincing in pain from all the bruises on his body. He scrolls through the contact list until he finds your name. He smiles subconsciously, imagining the moment when he will see you again. When he puts the phone to his ear, it takes a few seconds for you to answer.

"Thank God you're alive."

Leon chuckles. "Barely."

"Difficult mission?"

"That's putting it mildly." he squeezes his eyes shut in pain after pressing the ice too hard on the cut on his face.

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing I'm not used to." he smiles. He looks around to make sure no one is listening. It's not that he has anything to hide, but he doesn't like people prying into his private life, especially when he knows they'll pepper him with questions he definitely doesn't want to answer. "Are you free Friday night?"

"I don't know, let me check my schedule." you answer in an amused tone.

"Oh, sorry, ma'am, I didn't know I had to make an appointment."

You laugh, and Leon smiles candidly, the sound of your laughter filling his heart. "Of course I'm free."

"Wanna have dinner?" he immediately regrets the way he asked you. Who the fuck says that? He thinks to himself. Leon is not used to this. He can't even remember the last time he asked a woman out on a date. After all, he seems destined to meet all the women who find their way into his heart in situations that would be out of the ordinary for the rest of the world. He doesn't know how to do normal.

But then again, neither do you. "A man after my own heart."

"I'll pick you up at 6."

"I can't wait."

And from that moment on, he can't think of anything else but you, hoping that the time will pass quickly. You're in his mind when he's writing his mission report, when Hunnigan scolds him for not going to the doctor to get his wounds checked, when he's eating his bland reheated dinner in front of a boring TV show, when he's wrapped in his cotton sheets in his bed that now seems too big for one person. At every moment of his day, no matter how difficult or busy, he thinks of you.

But not only with affection, but also with concern for you and for himself. He senses that something is troubling you, something you haven't told him yet. He hopes that one day you will find the courage to open your heart completely to him, and that what you so earnestly try to keep locked up inside you won't be the final blow to his heart that has been broken too many times.

And finally, the day he has waited so long for comes. He glances at the clock as he gets ready to make sure he's not late. He looks at himself in the mirror as he adjusts the unbuttoned collar of his white shirt, tucked into sleek, but not too sleek, black pants. He rolls up the sleeves of his shirt and puts on his watch. He goes into the bathroom to fix his hair, then takes cologne from the cabinet and sprays himself a few times before closing the cap. As he's about to put it back in, he opens it again to spray himself again.

He picks up his jacket and the bouquet of pink tulips he bought for you from the florist this morning. He hesitated to buy them, not knowing if you were the kind of person who appreciated such gifts. But he bought them anyway because, he thought, who doesn't like to get flowers? The florist had recommended a bouquet of red tulips, but he chose pink ones, not wanting to be too overt. Although, if he had his way, he would get you all the red flowers in the world.

Nervousness begins to set in as he gets into the car. Although the drive to your house is quite long, the two hours pass relatively quickly.

When he parks in front of your house, he takes the bouquet of flowers and walks to the door of your apartment building. The weather is clear today, unlike the last time he was here. He rings the doorbell with your last name and after a few seconds the door opens.

He climbs the stairs with his heart in his throat. Every time he knows he has to meet you, it feels like the first time. He smiles at the thought of what the Leon of a few months ago would have said, the one who told you he didn't want you to be a burden, the one who told you he wouldn't really care if you died in the long run. He smiles at the thought of how you can change your opinion of a person so drastically when you really get to know them.

Arriving at your front door, he takes a deep breath before knocking. Once again, he thinks back to the last time he was in this very spot. When he pinned you against the wall as soon as you opened the door, when he put his gun to your head.

When you open the door now, it's completely different. You greet him with a sweet smile on your lips, colored by a burgundy lipstick that makes your eyes pop. His gaze focuses on your body, wrapped in a green dress with a sweetheart neckline and three-quarter sleeves, tight at the waist and soft on the rest of your body, with a large slit.

So different. When he knocked on your door to threaten you, he looked at you with contempt, with anger. And now those same eyes, in the same place, look at you with admiration, with affection, stunned by your beauty. Incredibly and utterly different.

"Hi."

"Hi," he says in a low voice. He smiles awkwardly and clears his throat. "Um, these are for you." He hands you the bouquet of pink tulips, which you accept with a big smile on your face and a slight blush on your cheeks. "I didn't know if you liked them, I hope you do."

"They're beautiful. Thank you."

"Yeah."

You walk away, leaving Leon in the doorway as you fill a vase with water and put the bouquet of tulips in it, placing it on the coffee table in your living room. You return to him and close the door behind you. "Shall we go?"

Leon motions for you to go ahead of him. And so you leave your apartment building and get into his car. Leon tells you that he has made reservations at a restaurant not too far away, a place he has been to before.

"They make desserts to die for. You have to try one."

You smile. "I will."

After almost forty minutes on the road, you finally arrive at the restaurant; it is a very nice place. It's surrounded by a low brick wall and the entrance is decorated with a wooden structure covered with wisteria. Although it's not in bloom, you can imagine the beauty of the purple flowers and their scent.

When you enter, Leon immediately tells the waiter about your reservation, and in a few minutes he seats you at a beautiful table for two. The walls are cream-colored, with exposed brick in places. The ceiling is wood, with beautiful, exposed beams. The lights are dimmed, just like the pub you were in a few weeks ago.

The waiter brings you the menu with the wine list, which you take immediately. "They have European wines too, nice."

"Do you have any preferences?" Leon asks you, looking up from the menu he's carefully leafing through.

"I don't know. I've had French wine before, and it was delicious. But maybe we should try something else?"

"Have you ever tried Italian wine?"

"Unfortunately no, I was definitely too young to drink wine when I went to Italy."

He looks at you in surprise as he reaches for the wine list between your fingers, stops and looks at you, wondering with his eyes if he can take it. You close it and hand it to him. "Have you been to Italy?"

You nod, "In Rome, in high school."

"I bet it's beautiful."

You smile, "It is. It's really inspiring to be surrounded by something so ancient, to walk the same streets that people walked thousands of years ago."

"I mean, no wonder it's called the Eternal City, right?"

"Right."

Leon checks the wine list, wondering what you like best. Red or white, sparkling or still, fruity or not. You don't know much about it, you usually look at the price of the bottle and choose the one that appeals to you the most. In the end, Leon chose a still red wine.

"This one's very good. It's not a wine from Rome, but it's Tuscan, close enough."

"What's it called?"

"Chianti."

"Nice pronunciation."

Leon laughs, "I'm a man of many surprises."

A short time later the waiter arrives to take your order. The bottle of Chianti comes first. The waiter uncorks it and lets Leon taste the wine, who turns to him and nods. He pours the wine into your glass first and then into Leon's, leaving the bottle on the table in front of you.

As soon as you opened the door to your apartment, you couldn't help but notice the cut on Leon's eyebrow, covered by a small white band-aid and hidden by his hair. The bruise and the swelling, however, are definitely harder to hide. You reach out to him, pulling the strand of hair away from his face and observing the bruise. Leon stiffens slightly at the unexpected contact. "Successful mission?"

"It was."

"Was it a person or something else that kicked your ass?"

Leon laughs, shakes his head slightly and rearranges the strand of hair in front of the cut, covering his eye as well. "I really can't say."

"Right, I forgot about confidentiality and whatnot."

Leon takes a bite of his steak. "What about you? What have you been up to these last two weeks?" he changes the subject. Right now, he wants to talk about anything but his mission. Anything is better than having all the attention on him, especially if it's about his job and a particularly difficult mission he doesn't want to think about. And what better way than to talk about you, to hear what you have to tell him? After all, he's been looking forward to it.

"I met with some of my friends from nursing school. It was good to see them again. Other than that, nothing new really." you answer as you take a forkful of your pasta with mushrooms.

This time you called them. They were very surprised to hear from you, especially that it was you who suggested that you meet with them. You didn't tell them everything that happened to you in the last period, although they asked you about it, and you could see in their worried looks that they were ready to listen to you. But they don't know what you did, they don't know about your double life. You were always vague about your job when you talked to them about it, and you changed the subject as soon as they asked questions. They wouldn't understand.

"Sounds good."

"Yeah, but I don't have anything interesting to tell now that I'm no longer pissing off the bad guys who beat me up. You know, exactly what you do."

Leon chuckles. "Who says it's not them who piss me off?" he tells you with an amused look.

You smile slightly until the smile disappears from your face. They are innocent words, said in jest to play with you. But as soon as you heard them, your brain immediately took you back. It took you back to the moment when you held Jane tightly in your arms as Leon killed the person who hurt her with unbelievable cold-bloodedness and ruthlessness. You can't get the moment out of your mind when you saw him behaving differently, the moment when someone touched strings inside him that made him snap. And the thought you tried so hard to suppress, to erase from your mind, comes back to the surface, as if your memory were a vast ocean of extremely salty water.

And you can't help but wonder if it wasn't just a moment of loss of control. You can't help but wonder if it actually was the moment when, for a few minutes, he dropped the mask that covered his true identity – just like Johnny.

"Is everything okay?" Leon asks you, pulling you back from your thoughts. His eyebrows are furrowed, and his lips are slightly parted as he looks at you in confusion.

"Yeah, I... yes," you gently brush your napkin over your lips, "I just need to get some air. Excuse me." you get up without even hearing his answer and rush out of the restaurant.

You take a deep breath as you feel the familiar pain in your chest and your breathing suddenly becomes labored. Your hand trembles as you put it to your lips as tears begin to stream down your face.

Just when you thought you were making progress, your trauma comes flooding back, suffocating you, robbing you of your happiness. You wonder if you will ever be able to stop doubting everyone around you, or if you're destined to lead your life this way, unable to live fully without the constant fear that someone will stab you in the back again. Will you ever be able to enjoy beautiful moments to the fullest without the constant doubt that they are, in fact, a lie?

You gasp as you suddenly hear Leon calling your name from behind you. You wipe away your tears, trying to hide what you're feeling. The wind is cool on your red cheeks, still wet with tears. You bite your trembling lip.

"Are you okay?" he asks when he sees you turn away with your head down. "Did I say something wrong?"

You turn around and look at him with eyes full of tears that you can't stop despite your best efforts. Leon looks at you with concern and confusion in his eyes. Seeing you like this, while the tears mixed with your mascara run black down your face, which was beaming until a few minutes ago, breaks his heart.

"I'm afraid I can't trust you." you tell him in a voice broken by tears.

Leon keeps looking at you. The confusion is gone from his face as he finally understands. You have finally revealed what you've been trying so hard to suppress. He understands the real reason why you pushed him away, why you pushed everyone around you away. It wasn't something he did, it was what Johnny did to you. He took away your ability to trust others and filled you with the constant fear that anyone who gets close to you has an ulterior motive.

Leon rushes to you and holds you in his arms as your tears continue to flow like a river in flood. His face is resting on your head, one arm wrapped around your back while the other hand rests tenderly on your head. His shirt is tight between your fingers. He gently cups your face in his hands, wiping away the tears that wet your face with his thumbs. "I'm not him."

"I know...I know," you put your hands on his and pull them away from your face. "I just can't get the image of you killing that woman out of my head, and I..." you look down at your hands, now holding his, as he continues to keep his eyes on you. "I know she deserved it. She deserved even worse. But I've never seen you so ruthless and... and I..." you put a hand over your eyes, the lump in your throat choking you.

Leon takes your face in his hands again, but your eyes remain closed. "Look at me," he tells you softly. You slowly open your eyes and find him looking at you. "In that moment I lost control, I let my emotions take over my rationality. And you're right, that ruthlessness and coldness is not something that belongs to me, but I was furious with her, furious with myself for letting Jane get hurt to save me," he stops, closing his eyes for a few seconds, taking a deep breath to find the right words to say to you, to make you understand that you should never be afraid of him, that he would do anything to protect you. "I would never hurt you, you hear me? Never."

You nod and take refuge in his arms again, which don't hesitate for a moment to welcome you. "I'm sorry." you whisper into his chest.

"What for?"

You walk away from him, who reluctantly leaves you. You sit on the low brick wall that surrounds the restaurant. "For… this," you gesture to your body. "You deserve better than whatever this is."

"I'm not the saint you make me out to be, and you're not the monster you think you are." he steps closer and sits down next to you. "You're just someone with a big wound that hasn't healed yet."

"What if it never heals?"

Leon looks down at his hands. The thought that you can't get over this, that you might not be able to stop doubting him, is destroying him from within. But he won't stop trying to help you overcome your trauma, to show you every day of his life that he wants nothing more than for you to be happy.

"I know it'll be tough at times. I'll give you space when you want it and comfort when you need it. And if you still feel that you can't trust me, I'll leave you alone, no matter how much it hurts."

"Would you really be willing to waste yourself on me?"

"Love is never a waste." he says in a low voice.

You look at him with slightly parted lips and your heart bursts in your chest. You don't know what to say, how to react. You don't know if this is his way of telling you that he's falling in love with you, but it's definitely his way of telling you that he doesn't give up easily. And as much as you still think he's crazy, it's his way of telling you that he's willing to fight for you even if you remain a shell of yourself forever. And you feel the same way. Right now, the most effective way to fight for him is to fight for yourself. You have to take back what Johnny stole from you, take back your life. You gave up Leon once because of him, you're not going to let Johnny take him away from you again.

Leon's hands are resting on the low wall. He averts his gaze from yours, not daring to look you in the eye. Maybe he went too far, maybe he should have kept it to himself. But that's how he feels, he doesn't know how else to describe it. He's falling in love with you, and he can't deny it. He just hopes he hasn't frightened you.

But his fears disappear when you put your hand on his. Leon looks up at you again and finds your face still red from crying, but now adorned with a sweet smile. He spreads his fingers, and you don't hesitate for a second to intertwine yours with his.

You stay like that for a while. Neither of you dares to say anything. Neither of you dares to move. Neither of you dares to go any further.

"We should go." Leon says after a while in a low voice.

You take your hand from his and nod. "We have to go inside and pay."

"I've already taken care of that."

You look at him with knitted brows. "I knew you would never come back in." he tells you, pursing his lips into a sympathetic smile.

You nod, feeling terribly guilty for ruining an evening that was going wonderfully and that you had been looking forward to for weeks. You know Leon will never hold it against you, but you can't help but think of his disappointment.

The car ride is silent except for Leon asking you a few times if you're okay. You answer yes both times with a faint smile on your face.

You watch his side profile as he drives with one hand on the wheel and the other on the stick. You wish you knew what he was thinking. You feel your heart full of joy at his words to you, but at the same time you feel terrible and very sad that he is really willing to suffer for you. You turn your eyes to the road. You close your eyes and perceive the streetlights. You take a deep breath and clench your fists. He's willing to suffer for you, but you're going to make sure that doesn't happen, no matter what. Not anymore.

When you arrive at your apartment building, Leon offers to walk you to your door. This way he can leave more comfortably, he tells you, knowing that he has left you within the walls of your home. You think he wants to spend the remaining time with you. Either way, you think it's very sweet, and you can't help but feel even more guilty.

When you get to the front door of your apartment, you unlock it, and then you turn to him, sighing with tight lips. "Thank you for tonight," you look down, "and I'm sorry for ruining the evening."

Leon scoffs. "You didn't ruin anything," he caresses your shoulder in comfort, "I'm just sorry you didn't get to taste those delicious desserts."

You both chuckle, and then silence falls between you. "Okay, good night."

"Good night." you answer, even though you don't want the evening to end like this. Actually, you don't want the evening to end at all.

Leon smiles at you, stands still for a few seconds, not knowing how to behave, before he starts walking down the hall.

You watch him walk away, but you cannot let him go. It's not what you want. You're tired of hesitating, second guessing, and regretting later. You want to do what you feel, listen to your heart and not just your brain. You don't want to spend another night alone in a cold bed wishing for the warmth you could have had.

"Leon," you call out, grabbing him to stop him. Leon looks at your firm hand on his wrist and then at you. "please don't go."

Leon keeps looking at you without saying anything. When you walk back to the door of your apartment and open it behind you, he follows you without hesitation and without ever taking his eyes off yours. You see the same nervousness in his eyes that he probably reads in yours.

As you enter your apartment, you let go of his wrist. Leon walks behind you as you close the door. You close your eyes and take a deep breath before turning to face him. His face is illuminated by the moonlight coming through the window, you see his chest moving faster. You approach him slowly, gently caressing his face. Leon surrenders to your touch, tilting his head toward your hand and closing his eyes.

"I don't want to lose you too." you whisper.

Leon opens his eyes and looks at you, resting his hand on yours that is still on his face. "You won't."

The two of you slowly move closer, closing the space between you. You watch him as his eyes move impatiently from yours to your lips, until your lips brush against each other. The feel of his soft lips against yours sends a shiver down your spine. You continue to brush against each other without the contact turning into an actual kiss. You want to savor the moment, to enjoy every little sensation you're experiencing at this moment. You give each other a few small kisses on the lips before you pull away.

Leon looks at you confused, he wants to deepen the contact with you, he already misses your lips on his. You take his hand and lead him to your room. As you turn on the light, you turn to him, who's still standing in front of the door. You reach down to take off your shoes. Leon watches your every move, as if he were watching his favorite movie. When you stand up, he looks at your feet and then at you. "I like your nail polish." he tells you with a sweet smile on his face. You smile at his obvious attempt to ease the tension.

But it soon fades, and your face turns serious. Your heart begins to beat fast in your chest at what you're about to do. You unfasten your dress and let it fall to your feet. Your underwear soon follows, leaving you completely naked in front of Leon. This is not the first time someone has seen you naked, but you have never exposed yourself like this, in every sense of the word. But you want him to see every part of you, every detail, every scar. You have nothing more to hide.

Leon looks at you, but not with lust, he looks at you with admiration, with awe. "Wow." he whispers. You look at each other for a few more seconds before Leon rushes over to you, puts one hand on your bare back and the other in your hair, and pulls you to him in a passionate kiss that he has been waiting for so long. Your tongues entwine, you feel Leon's breath lightly tickle your face as his hand explores your back, his touch gentle and firm at the same time, making you shiver.

You start unbuttoning his shirt, he unbuckles his belt and then his pants as he slips off his shoes. After getting rid of all the layers of clothing he still had on, he sits you down on the bed without ever removing his lips from yours.

You lie on your bed and Leon positions himself on top of you. You place your hands on his now naked chest and push him gently to end the contact you were craving so much. You observe his body on top of yours. His arms are resting on the sides of your chest. You take in every detail, admiring his body.

"Wow." you whisper, echoing what he just told you. Leon chuckles before tucking his face into the nape of your neck, leaving soft kisses and light bites on your tender skin. Your arms are tight around his back, your chests meeting, your hearts beating in unison.

You close your eyes at the feel of his lips on your neck, slowly moving down to your chest. You open them again in disappointment as Leon's lips leave your body. His blue eyes meet yours, looking at you questioningly. "Can I?" he asks you softly.

You don't understand what he means until you notice his face just above your breasts. And only now do you realize that since you undressed in front of him, even though he caressed your bare back, even though he kissed you passionately, he has never touched any part of you that could make you uncomfortable in any way.

Even if you've done it before, that time was different. That time you hadn't questioned your trust in him, you hadn't revealed your insecurities. And even though, like then, you showed him with your touch, your lips, and your actions that this is what you want, he still wants to hear you say it, he wants you to be really sure. And right now, you think you've never been so sure of anything in your whole life. You want him, you need him.

"Please." you say in a low voice, almost desperate. And so, he returns to gently kissing your body. His rough hand grazes one of your breasts, making you shiver, while his lips are intent on kissing the other. He leaves soft kisses on your skin until his lips settle on your nipple. A moan parts your lips slightly as your back arched. He continues to leave kisses, leaving you wanting more. Your fingers grip the green sheets of your bed as his tongue begins to move in circles over your nipple while his fingers stimulate the other. Soft, controlled moans escape your lips.

Your hands grab strands of his blond hair as he moves further down your body, his warm breath on your skin making you gasp, his lips brushing your stomach. His hands take your thighs, parting your legs before burying his face between them. He kisses your inner thighs gently, driving you crazy. You can't wait any longer, you want more. "Leon, please." you say breathlessly as your legs tremble under his touch.

He says nothing. He looks up at you and smiles slightly before slowly tasting your folds as your fingers tighten in his hair, tugging lightly. You moan loudly, no longer able to control yourself. His tongue continues to lick you incessantly until his attention is focused solely on your clit, sucking and licking as sweat wets your heated body.

You lower your eyes to him, to watch him bring you pleasure. And as you do, you meet his watchful eyes, his pupils dilated, intent on observing the effect of his actions on you. You look away immediately, feeling embarrassed, vulnerable. But Leon thinks he has never seen anything more beautiful, he's intoxicated by the scent of your soft skin that turns into goose bumps under his fingers. Your moans are the perfect melody for the dance of your body trembling with pleasure. But he wants more, he wants to see the effect he has on you.

"Look at me," he says as you feel his warm breath on your dripping slit. You look at him, your face flushed with pleasure and embarrassment. "Don't take your eyes off me."

His tongue returns to stimulate your bundle of nerves as his eyes meet yours. Your lips are parted as you watch him eat you mercilessly. His intense gaze makes you feel electrified, makes you feel something you've never felt before, makes you feel beautiful. His fingers on your thighs make little dimples, and in that moment, you go back to when you were in Rome, in that museum, surrounded by people who came and went while you were enchanted by that detailed work of art, by the fingers of Pluto clasping the thighs of Proserpina forever carved in marble. Your gaze is as attentive and mesmerized as it was then, only this time the work of art you are so passionately looking at is you.

You come in a blissful orgasm. Your thighs tighten around his head as Leon continues to lick you into overstimulation. He continues as your body twitches, as your throat goes dry, as breathless moans leave your red lips, as your fingers grip his hair even tighter. Your chest rises and falls as he licks your clit relentlessly until you come a second time.

Leon stands up, you look at him breathless as drops of sweat wet his perfect face. You sit up and pull him to you in a passionate kiss. His arms wrap around your back again. Your bodies come together in an embrace, eager for contact. You bite his lip, making him moan softly.

"I want you," you whisper as your hands run over his chest and your lips kiss his neck. "I need you."

"Fuck. You drive me crazy, you know that?" he tells you under his breath.

You smile smugly, your lips grazing his neck until they reach his ear as your fingers slowly and gently travel down his body to his hard cock, beginning to stroke it slowly, running your thumb over the glistening tip. His fingers twitch against your back as moans remain trapped between his tight lips. "Show me how much." you whisper into his ear.

Leon grabs your waist, moves you slightly forward and then pushes you back onto the bed. He takes your wrists, puts them above your head and holds them still with one hand, while the other caresses your body, which he kisses fiercely. His free hand runs down your side until it reaches your thigh, which he lifts and places over his bottom. Then he moves his hand between the two of you, grazing your still sensitive clit and making you gasp, and then he places his cock at your entrance, sliding the tip against your wet cunt before he slowly pushes into you. His face is buried in the nape of your neck as loud moans leave your lips and controlled groans remain broken in his throat. At first the pace is slow, to let you get used to the sensation, to let you feel all he has to give, but then the need becomes stronger and so do his movements. Your bodies, slick with sweat, meet gently, becoming one.

His soft groans, which he tries in vain to control, send shivers down your spine, making you even more aroused. The scent of his cologne fills your nostrils. One hand is still holding your wrists, while the other is pressed tightly against your thigh. His hair tickles your neck.

"Let me see you." you tell him breathlessly, your voice full of pleasure. Leon lifts his head and locks his eyes with yours.

And it's oh so different from the moment together in that room, so much more intense, more passionate, more intimate. Then, you wouldn't have been able to look into his eyes. Now, however, watching the pleasure on his face as your bodies merge into one is the best aphrodisiac for you.

Leon releases his grip on your wrists. Your hands tighten around his back, leaving small scratches as he continues to thrust into you with firm movements of his hips.

You tighten both legs around his waist and place your hands on either side of his chest to give yourself the right boost to get on top of him. His hair is now scattered on the pillow, except for a few strands stuck to his sweaty forehead. His hands tighten around your ass, pushing your hips toward him. You take them and place them on your breasts, which he immediately cups, stimulating your nipples with a gentle movement of his thumbs and forefingers. Your head is thrown back, your hair tickling your back as you move smoothly over him, filling yourself with him.

Leon sits up and wraps one arm around your back, giving you support to keep moving on top of him. His other hand rests on the nape of your neck, his thumb gently caressing your parted, reddened lips as you move together. You move your hips on top of him and at the same time he moves his to bury his cock all the way inside you.

His grip on your back tightens and Leon rests his head on your shoulder, close to his orgasm. You increase the speed of your movements, your legs burning with effort as your body continues to fill with pleasure. You place a hand under his chin and lift his face to look into his eyes. You watch him as your hips thrust harder and harder, faster and faster, fucking yourself on him until you're out of breath. Leon's lips part, giving way to a loud moan as he comes inside you. You slow your pace before stopping altogether. You stand still, looking at each other, him still inside you, as the sound of your panting is all that fills the air.

"What have you done to me?" he whispers, caressing your flushed face.

You smile and leave a light kiss on his lips before getting up from his lap and lying down on the bed. You take a tissue from your nightstand to clean yourself up, and offer one to Leon, who has settled down next to you. His chest is still glistening with sweat when you turn to him. He watches you carefully as you run your fingers over his scars. You start at his left shoulder, where there is an unmistakable circular scar. "Have you been shot before?"

Leon nods, "In Raccoon City."

Your fingers continue their journey down his body under Leon's watchful gaze. You run them over several scars on his chest, over the scattered bruises from his mission, over the scar on his arm from the stitches you made after the bullet grazed him, until you reach the long scar on his forearm from the sharp blade of your knife. Your fingers linger on it as you look at it with a short sigh. Leon takes your hand, pulling it away from his skin, and kisses your fingers, then intertwines them with his.

"I'm sorry." you confess.

Leon smiles and shakes his head. "Don't be."

You take his arm and lift it, sliding between it and resting your head on his shoulder. Leon puts a hand on your hair, which he begins to caress slowly. "Will we ever go back to that restaurant?"

"If you want. Why?"

You lift your head to him. "I still want to try those desserts."

Leon chuckles. "Then we'll definitely go back."

You bite your lip while you make circular movements with your finger on his chest. "I'll try too, you know." Leon lowers his head towards you, and you return his questioning look. "For me, for us."

He smiles and caresses your face. "I know."

You remain silent for a while, held tightly in his arms as he gently strokes your hair. Your eyes begin to close with tiredness and comfort. Leon shifts slightly, then sighs, removes his arm from around your body and sits up on the edge of the bed. You sit up as well and look at his muscular back, his hands resting on the sides of his body. Leon notices you're looking at him and turns around, "It's late, I have to go."

You get closer to him and embrace him from behind, leaving a small kiss on his shoulder. "Stay here with me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Leon turns his whole body towards you, pulls you into his arms and lets you lie down on the bed. When you're lying side by side, he takes your leg and puts it on his hip, pulling your body even closer to him.

After a while, you fall asleep together. You only wake up once during the night because of a bad dream. You turn to Leon, who fortunately hasn't woken up. His face is illuminated by the moonlight, his long lashes caress his cheeks, his breathing soothes you. You move even closer to him, snuggling into his warm body.

And that night, for the first time since you returned from that damned journey, you fell asleep after a nightmare, and you've never slept better, held in the arms of the man you're falling madly in love with.

Notes:

What can I say guys I fucking love love. It was a romantic kind of smut, even though some filthy parts were needed (and appreciated, I hope). I really like this one and I hope you did as well. I hope it wasn't too long for you to read in one sitting.

As always, please let me know what you think about it. And if you listened to Sweat while reading your daily smut let me know what you think about the song as well, haha!

See ya!

Chapter 21: Epilogue

Summary:

A usual session with Dr. Rios.

Notes:

Here we go, guys! Last one!

A lot of flashbacks in this one. I didn't use italics but I did use the past tense, of course. I hope it's clear and not confusing.
I like this chapter. It's sad, fun, heartwarming. I enjoyed writing it so much, and I hope you enjoy reading.

Happy reading, for the last time. 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You look at your watch as you sit in your usual leather chair in Dr. Rios' office, which is unusually late today. You've been waiting for her for ten minutes, not without some anxiety. You haven't seen her in two months. You've been busy with your new job and the move, and you haven't been able to make time for your sessions. But you missed talking to her. You can always talk to Leon about anything, if you need to vent, he's always willing to listen – but Leon is no psychologist. In your situation, you still need to talk to a professional, and you're relieved to finally be back with her.

The door behind you suddenly opens and you jump. You turn to find the doctor with a coffee in her hand. "I'm so sorry, I got stuck in traffic."

You smile, "No problem, really."

The doctor sets her take-out cup on her desk and then looks at you with a genuine smile on her face. "I'm glad to see you again, you look good."

"I am."

"Would you like to tell me a little bit about what's happened to you in the last two months?"

You smile, "Where do I start?"

"Wherever you want."

"Well, first of all, I'm just about to move." The doctor nods as she settles into her small chair in front of you.

Six months have passed since that night between the sheets of your bed, your bodies illuminated by the moonlight. Six months in which you and Leon have gone back and forth between your apartments. Mostly you, since you were still unemployed and had no strict schedule to follow.

You spent a lot of time trying to figure out what to do with your life, looking at job ads in the paper that always seemed inadequate. Until one day Leon suggested you work with him – sort of. He knew that you wouldn't be able to follow him on his missions, that you had given up that life, and that it would probably only put more strain on your mental health. He knew that if he even hinted at the idea, you would immediately say no. And that's exactly what happened when you misunderstood him.

"No way. I'm not going back to the life I'm so desperately trying to forget. I don't care if it's legal this time." you told him, getting up from the table, swinging your chair harder than it should, and walking to the window, arms crossed, looking out.

"That's not what I'm asking you to do." you turned to him with a questioning look on your face. You said nothing, waiting for him to continue. "There's a need for someone to train recruits, and I thought it might suit you."

"I don't know, Leon." you sighed and turned back to the window, watching the cars go by.

He walked over to you and put a hand on your shoulder, encouraging you to look at him again. You looked at him uncertainly, your lips tightening into a thin line. "You know how to fight, and very well indeed." he said, raising his bare arm to show you the scar left by the blade of your knife.

"But I don't want to fight anymore."

"You don't have to." he took your hands and stroked the back of them with his thumbs. "You just have to teach a group of rookies how to do it." he smiled sweetly. You smiled too, softened by his eagerness to help you, seeing that you were clearly struggling.

"Besides, you could stay here for a while. At least until you find another place to live," he told you, the enthusiasm on his face immediately replaced by a more neutral expression. "If you want to, of course."

You smiled and placed a hand on his rough, stubbled face, leaving a kiss on his soft lips. "Let me think about it, yeah?"

And that's what you did. Day and night, undecided, scared, excited. And finally, you chose to accept. On your first day, Leon drove you to the headquarters, kissed you on the forehead in the car and wished you good luck. When you got out of the car, you acted as if you were just acquaintances. When you told him you were going to go for it, you agreed not to tell anyone about your relationship. You're two private people, and you preferred not to feed gossip. You were also afraid that people would underestimate you if they knew you were there just because you were Leon's girlfriend. You wanted to show that you were up to the role they needed someone to fill, that you were not a good-for-nothing who had grabbed a job because of your influential connections.

But as much as you wanted to prove to others that this was not the case, the truth was quite different. Especially when you talked to another agent and found out that there was no need for another trainer. Leon used his status to push for your hiring, even though he had told you that there was an urgent need for someone to fill the role.

You didn't say anything at the time. You just smiled and nodded, clutching the cup of hot coffee in your hands. You held it all in until you got home. Leon came home a few hours after you, tired, but with a smile on his face. A smile that immediately disappeared when he saw the angry expression on your face.

He listened silently as you unloaded all your frustration on him and complained about your wounded pride. Not for a second did he look at you in anger. Instead, he was sorry, he felt guilty for lying to you, knowing that you would never accept it if he told you that you were not really needed.

"I was just trying to help you." he told you in a calm and serious tone.

"I don't need your fucking help Leon, get that through your head." you said, grabbing your bag and jacket and heading for the door.

"Where're you going?"

"For a walk. I need to be alone."

Leon walked over to you and grabbed your arm, trying to stop you. "Let's talk about this, please."

"I don't want to." you replied with a hard look on your face. Leon sighed and let go of your arm, watching you leave the house and slam the door behind you.

You walked for hours through the streets lit by a few streetlamps, the cold wind blowing in your face. When all the anger inside you subsided, remorse took its place. You were afraid to go home, afraid that Leon would be angry with you. You looked at your watch and, seeing the late hour, gathered the courage to go home and face what laid ahead.

As you opened the front door, you stopped at the threshold. Leon was laying on the couch with the TV on, half asleep, waiting for you to return. When he heard you come in, he immediately sat down. You saw his worried face.

"Hey." he said in a raspy voice, looking at you with soft eyes.

You said nothing. You dropped your bag on the floor, along with your jacket, and ran over to him, snuggling close, wrapping your arms around his chest and tucking your cold face into the crook of his neck, closing your eyes, getting drunk on his scent and finding relief in the warmth of his body. That was your way of apologizing to him for overreacting, for putting your pride first.

Leon stood still for a few seconds, surprised by your behavior, before he pulled you even closer, turning his face and leaving a light kiss on your hair. And that was his way of apologizing for lying to you, even if it was for a good reason.

"Did you find an apartment?" the doctor asks you.

"Not yet. I'm staying at Leon's for the time being."

You have moved all your things into his apartment, and now you're busy moving your furniture. You have rented a unit to store it until you find a place of your own. The search is going slowly; your time is limited, the few places you have visited so far have not been to your liking, and most importantly, you're not sure you want to move back in alone. You no longer want to come home to only the faint sound of the television as you eat by yourself. You no longer want to toss and turn in a cold king-size bed when you can no longer fall asleep.

But at the same time, you still feel like an outsider, living within the walls of a house that is not your own, where you're supposedly only a temporary guest. Although Leon doesn't seem to think so.

Whenever you talk about finding a new place for you to live, he seems interested and willing to help, but then he always changes the subject. And the idea that he doesn't really want you to leave got stronger when you came home one night and found the picture Victoria had painted for you hanging on the wall, right next to his.

"When did you hang this?" you asked him, pointing at the painting.

He looked at it for a moment before shifting his gaze back to you. "This morning."

"Why?"

"It was bugging me to see only mine, because it was obviously missing a piece, so I hung yours as well." Leon put on a nonchalant expression, but you could see from the way he nervously ran his fingers through his thick hair that the gesture actually hid a lot more than he wanted you to believe. "Does it bother you?"

"No, no, it's fine. It looks good."

"Okay." he replied with a smile on his face.

You haven't talked about it since. You know that he won't explicitly ask you not to leave for the time being, at least as long as he can postpone this conversation. He doesn't want to pressure you, and maybe these little acts are his way of testing the waters. You don't know for sure if that's the reason, but his subtle ways of making you feel at home are warming your heart.

"How're things going between the two of you?"

"Good," you smile, "Very good."

Dr. Rios nods and makes notes in her notebook. She doesn't ask you anything else about your relationship. She knows you have trouble putting your feelings into words, especially when they're positive. You opened up to her when you told her about Johnny, letting the words slip from your lips without realizing it as you wiped away the tears you were desperately trying to hold back, feeling weak to cry in front of someone.

You can't do the same with Leon. You like to talk about him, about what you do, about the little things that make him special. But when it comes to feelings, you can't describe how you feel about him. Maybe it's because you've never experienced it before and you're in completely unfamiliar territory, or maybe it's because there are no words to describe something so intense.

The doctor knows. She has learned to read certain emotions from your behavior and expressions. And in those three words, she understood everything there was to understand, without the need for further explanation.

"How's your new job?"

"I like it a lot."

And it's the truth. Even if you have to deal with more difficulties than you care to admit. Some recruits will try your patience, especially spoiled kids who think they are better and stronger than you because you're a woman. You can see it in the way they act with their female companions, the way they chuckle when they manage to beat up girls who can still stand up to them.

When it comes time to fight you, however, it's always a great satisfaction when they end up on the mat with a few more bruises and a bloody nose. It's gratifying not only to see them get back on their feet with their wounded pride, but also to see the pleased expressions on their female companions as they look at you with admiration.

You've had to deal with jokes and discrimination like this all your life, working closely with men. It's important for you to make sure it doesn't happen to the girls you're training, at least while they're under your wing.

"But?" she asks you, with the clear understanding that there's something else going on here.

You look up at the doctor who's looking at you and waiting for you to continue. You didn't think you were so easy to read, but apparently everything you feel is written on your tired face. You hesitate to answer. "But I see him in everything I do, in every technique I teach. I see in the recruits the same satisfaction I felt when he taught me something new." you lower your head and run your fingers over your forehead. "One of them asked me with great enthusiasm how I knew all these things, who taught them to me. I avoided answering, putting on a smile that looked as sincere as possible. And then, when the training was over, I ran into one of the shitty bathrooms and cried in front of the mirror until my head burst."

"How did you feel after that?"

You scoff. "I felt betrayed. I felt like a fucking idiot. I felt guilty for teaching a bunch of kids what I was taught by a psychopath – and I still feel like that all the time, actually."

The doctor leans forward at her desk. She puts her notebook on the desk and clasps her hands. She looks at you with her lips pressed together in a line. "You're not an idiot, and you have nothing to feel guilty about. I know that every time you do your job, it reminds you of him, and you feel dirty for still putting everything he taught you to use. But what he did to you is not your fault. You had no way of knowing."

You nod vehemently, biting the inside of your cheek as your throat hurts from the tears you're trying to hold back. You look up at the ceiling and wipe your face with both hands, snickering nervously. "I know. Believe me, I do," you take a deep breath, "But it isn't easy."

"It never is."

"It's just that every time I look at myself in those giant mirrors in that damn gym, when I'm showing those young people how to hurt someone, I can't help but think how much I look like him." you confess in a broken voice.

"Your memories with Johnny, both the good and the bad, don't define who you are. You choose who you want to be. In fact, you're not teaching those kids how to hurt anyone – you're teaching them how to defend themselves. That's what makes you different from him."

You smile and nod. Comforting words from those around you help you, they make you feel a little better, but you still have a long journey ahead of you.

You cannot erase from your mind overnight a person who has been fundamental in your life for years. A person, the person, you looked to for a laugh, for advice, for a shoulder to cry on. It's hard to accept that everything you felt was a sham and that you were the protagonist of a sadistic fantasy.

"What about your nightmares? Do you still have them?"

"Sometimes."

"And your trust issues?"

"They've improved a bit. I'm learning to trust the people around me a little bit more – although it's not always easy."

"And Leon?"

A guilty smile makes room on your flushed face. "Leon is very patient with me. Sometimes it's extremely difficult to be around me, but he's not someone who gives up easily."

You've had a few more lows in the last few months. But as he told you when you sat outside the restaurant, feeling the light evening breeze, he did everything you needed. He gave you space when you asked for it and comforted you when you were about to break down. He never backed down, he always listened to you and did what was best for you.

You don't think you can ever repay him for all the support he gives you every day, but you'll try nonetheless.

"Does thinking about your marble statue still help you when you're feeling down?"

You smile. In reality, whenever you feel the world crumbling down around you and you think back to a time when you were happy, you're no longer thinking about Pluto and Proserpine.

Your happiest memory is now a different one. The music was loud as you diced the onion. Leon was busy setting the table. You watched him out of the corner of your eye as he moved his head slightly to the music. As you placed the onion in the pot, the sound of the sizzling oil was barely audible.

When he was done, Leon sat on the stool at the kitchen island and watched you cook. When Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive came on, you turned to him with a gasp. You picked up the ladle in the kitchen and began singing the lyrics with extreme emphasis, pretending it was a microphone. Leon watched you with a grin on his face. You walked over to him and turned the stool he was sitting on toward you, singing and dancing to the notes of the song. Leon couldn't take his eyes off you, amused, mesmerized.

You took his hands to include him in your dance, shaking your hips. He shook his head. "No, I don't dance."

"Oh, c'mon, grumpy."

"I'm not good at it."

"You don't have to be good at it, you just have to have fun."

Leon got up with a sigh and joined you, putting his hands on your hips as he moved slightly. You laughed and he looked at you with a furrowed brow. "What?"

"You really do have two left feet."

He scoffs, "I told you."

You took his hands, which were on your hips, and began to move to the rhythm of the music, moving Leon as well, who was still embarrassed at first, but then let himself go, always within the limits of his comfort zone. He made you spin around while holding your hand, and he even dipped you.

You pulled away from him to pick up the ladle you had placed on the island and started singing again. "Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I..."

You held the ladle out to him and brought it closer to his mouth. Leon sighed and smiled shyly. "I will survive." he sang.

"Yes!" you cheered, throwing your arms in the air as he laughed and shook his head.

You were singing and dancing so much that you didn't notice that the food you were cooking was burning. You rushed to the stove and turned off the sauteed onion, which was now charred. You had to throw it all in the garbage and ended up with takeout pizza.

You can't remember a time when you had more fun than that night.

"It does." you answer. You don't feel the need to tell her that your happiest memory has been replaced – you prefer to keep it to yourself.

"That's good."

You nod with a smile. The doctor looks at the clock on the wall and turns back to you. "Our time is up."

"It went by quickly." you say, looking at the clock.

The doctor calls your name, and you turn to look at her. "Even though you live further away now and cannot come as often as you used to, I'm always here for you. If you need me, I'm just one call away. I'll always answer you."

"Thank you, Doctor. I will."

Dr. Rios nods, smiling slightly.

When you leave her office, you feel better than when you came in. You've always been someone who keeps everything inside until it bursts, and you've never really appreciated the good that comes from opening up to someone who wants to help you. And now you would never go back, even though there are still few people you are willing to open up to.

When you're halfway there, you start to feel a little sad. Leon left for another mission a week ago, and you still don't know when he'll be back. Being alone doesn't bother you at all, especially since you're so busy now that you don't even have time to think about boredom. But you miss him so much. You miss talking to him, you miss cuddling with him in bed.

You're worried every time he leaves home for a new mission. But you know that every time, he will come back to you, you just feel it.

When you get home, the lights are on and the smell of food from the kitchen fills your nostrils. You smile as you kick off your shoes.

"Leon?"

You see his head pop out of the doorway. "Hey beautiful." he says as he walks towards you. He puts his hands on your face and pulls you into a sweet, long kiss. A kiss you both have been waiting for for over a week.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?"

"I tried to call you, but you didn't answer."

"Oh yeah. I put my phone on mute when I went to see Dr. Rios. Sorry about that."

"It's okay." he tells you, giving you a series of little kisses on the lips that make you smile. "How did it go?"

You wrap your arms around his waist, and he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "It went well. She was helpful as always."

"That's good." he smiles, "I'm making dinner. It's almost ready." he turns away from you and goes to the kitchen to check on the vegetables cooking in the pan. "Oh," he turns back to you, one hand on the doorframe. "Jane called. Victoria is exhibiting her paintings at a gallery near their house, and she invited us."

"Really? That's fantastic!"

"Yeah. I told her we'd go, is that okay with you?"

"Of course, yes."

"Good." he smiles.

His muscular body disappears between the four walls of the kitchen, while you linger a little longer in front of the entrance with a smile on your face, looking at the paintings hanging on the wall. You look at the pink sky that turns into a starry one. You think about the words written behind the canvases. The words that remain hidden from everyone who looks at these paintings, but which are the most important to you and Leon.

For you,

For saving the only star capable of illuminating my sky.

With the hope and desire that the sky of your love will be just as ardently lighted.

And the sky of your love is indeed bright, incandescent, burning with the heat of billions of stars shining just for you.