WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

65. BHA todomomo 2

Crash (I'll be here)

seespr

Summary:

"Aphenphosmphobia", also called fear of intimacy, describes the morbid fear of being touched by or getting intimate with another person.

Shouto is caught in the path his father laid out for him, trying to understand the world he never came to know; Momo suffers from her lack of self-esteem and feeling of not being enough for her dreams to come true.

But one day, circumstance – fate – gives them a chance.
This world is a storm, relentless and cold. Only together, they can resist.

Together, they can heal.

Notes:

Good evening or whatever time it is where you are!

First of all, thank you for clicking and showing interest in this fanfiction.
Please take a seat and grab your popcorn, this will be a long ride.
Enjoy!

Chapter 1:
A father's greed restricts even the purest souls, a mother's embrace melts even the coldest hearts.
An introduction to Todoroki Shouto.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Those hardest to love need it most

Summary:

Fools - Lauren Aquilina

Chapter Text

"Your duty is to surpass All Might. That is the reason you were made," were the first words Shouto remembered his father telling him to justify the rigorous and painful training Shouto had to endure at five years of age. He learned fast – Not how to control his flames or how to freeze only specific parts of his environment, but why he was born. It wasn't because of love. His father didn't give him so much attention because he was his son, but because he was a soldier in a war his father lost.

Of course it was okay to be sad to never be able to catch up to the first place in this hero society.

But this…this was not sadness. The only thing it was was madness.

If Shouto ever had a side of him that believed in the good of people, it died the day his father imposed this fate to him. He started to believe it. He wasn't a human worthy of familiar love. He was only a tool for his father to fulfill his broken dreams.

He would have believed that, if it weren't for his mother protecting him all she could. Rei Todoroki protected him. Comforted him. Even if it pained her to look at his left side which resembled his father so much. The bright red hair and his aqua blue eye – It would've looked just the same if it weren't for the beautiful innocent glow only a child's eyes could have. But he looked like her as well, if she just looked at his right side, tried to ignore all of the pain she associated with his other half.

If Shouto ever had a side of him that believed in love, it died the day his mother poured boiling water over his face. She told him his left side was unsightly. Of course it was, Shouto understood, since it was too similar to the man that tormented her many years of her life. How was she supposed to love him when all she saw was pain?

He would've just wished that wasn't the last time he saw her. It seemed to him like his very existence made her suffer. That was the very reason he never went to visit her in the hospital. And over the years, he must've forgotten what it was like to be cradled in his mother's arms. To feel protected of everything, even if he knew she couldn't protect him from his father's greed. With her disappearance, he stopped receiving any kind of affection. Neither verbally, nor physically. He stopped liking physical affection. Sure, his sister tried, but even her hugs didn't comfort him.

His mother's cold arms always seemed warmer than any fire his father blasted at him to make him stronger.

Shouto was rebellious about his father's flames for a really long time, and he never thought he would change his view of his left side. That was before he entered UA, before he met new people - who actually weren't even that bad. And that was before the sports festival happened and Midoriya literally hit him with the knowledge that his quirk was not his father's, it was his own. What he did with that quirk was completely his own decision.

After the sports festival, he went to visit his mother for the first time.

The decision of visiting her again was not one he made easily. He was lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling. After all, it had been ten years since he'd last seen her. Would it even be okay for him to visit her? He was afraid he would trigger her again, as the only reason she was in that hospital was his sole existence. But the doctor would surely throw him out if it wasn't okay for him to visit her, wouldn't he? Would she even want to see him again? That couldn't be true either, as Fuyumi had asked him to come along many times before.

He couldn't be sure how she would react, but he wasn't going to find out if he stayed away. Shouto sighed. He wanted to meet her again. He missed her. That's all he knew. And since the sports festival happened and all of those memories with her represented in his head, he missed her even more.

If he wanted to aim to become a hero again, he would have to meet her, that's all he was sure of.

And like this, in the depths of night, he decided he would face his biggest fear.

It was very early when he got up that morning. Still in his pajamas, he walked into the kitchen.

His sister was already sitting there, pushing back her glasses as she was reading the newspapers. In front of her was a colorful mug of – probably – coffee. When she heard his quiet footsteps, she looked up confused as their father was not awaited home until dinner because he went out late last night to fight off a villain in the city.

"Shouto? What are you doing up at…" she turned to look at the clock behind her "…six thirty on a day where you are supposed to rest?" she said.

He didn't answer, too tired to think so he rubbed his eyes instead. She smiled at him before getting up.
"Tea? Or Coffee?" she then asked.
Shouto didn't usually drink coffee, yet he probably looked as tired as Aizawa at the moment.
"Coffee sounds great," he answered while sitting down at the kitchen table on the opposite side of where she sat.

"Well, I know why I'm awake this early since I'm going to work later, but why are you sleepyhead awake?" she asked again, putting down the mug full of milked coffee in front of him. Black coffee was too bitter, but sugar to sweet, so milk was the perfect in between, as his sister guessed correctly. He took a little sip. The mug was light blue, a few little ice crystals printed on it. He didn't know how it survived in his father's household but didn't question it further.

"I'll visit mom toady," he broke the ice that'd been building in the quiet of him sipping his coffee.
"What? Really? Why now?" she asked but quickly realized there wouldn't be an answer as her brother concentrated on the pattern on the mug in front of him, tracing little crystals with his fingers.

"Shouto? Is it really fine not to tell dad?" she asked.
"Yeah," he answered while putting on his second shoe, almost ready to leave. Should he walk to the hospital? Or rather take the bus? Walking would give him the chance to mull over what to tell her if she allowed him inside . What was he supposed to say? Would she recognize him? What if she got sad again?

What…What if she rejected him?

The walk to the hospital took seemingly forever and yet passed so quick he found not a single answer to his questions.

He stared at the building, taking in the way it was built – the way the windows had bars in front of them to keep everyone inside. His mother was imprisoned here all this time? His father as well as him imprisoned her in her own mind. So much she actually snapped after all. She had to suffer because she was protecting him. He should've been stronger, he should've protected her from all this. Shouto took a deep breath and exhaled as he took another step forward, walking to the entrance of the hospital and entering the building. He first looked around a little, searching for the front desk in the giant entrance hall.

The receptionist was a young woman, maybe in her mid-twenties, having dark hair.

"Good morning! How can I help you?" she asked him smiling. Next to her was another woman with little horns on top of her head who was filling out charts.
"Uh…Hello. I'm here to see my mother," he said, already taking his ID out of his bag.
"What is your mother's name?" she then asked, already typing hastily on her computer.
"Todoroki Rei," he answered but was flashed by their reactions. The woman behind the desk quickly turned to look at her colleague who nodded back.
"Todoroki…Shouto?" she then asked him hesitantly. Shouto was confused. How did this woman know his name? He still nodded. Her colleague looked just as dazed as her.
"You're finally here! Give me that. I'll do the paperwork. You can pick it up when you leave. Go up and visit your mother. Now," she said quickly, taking his ID and continuing to type.

She could probably sense his confusion as he was still just standing there, not able to comprehend the situation.

"We've seen the sports festival! Your mother talks about you a lot. Now go. She's on the third floor, room 315," she explained – again – smiling.

Shouto nodded again while walking to the elevators.
His mother…talked about him a lot? He couldn't comprehend that.

When he reached the floor his mother was on, he started trembling. He was nervous. So, so nervous. Standing in front of her door, he looked at both the room number and the name again, just to be sure. He took another deep breath, exhaling slowly before pushing the door open a little. He looked inside, saw his mother looking out the window. He took a step in. She was holding a picture in her hand. One he recognized, even though it was pretty old. He was maybe two or three? All of them were on the picture, even his two brothers. It was from happier times, times before his Quirk developed.

Slowly she turned around to him.

"Mom?" he asked hesitantly.

She blinked two times before her eyes went wide.

"Shouto?" she asked while putting the picture down and getting up. Tears were slowly quelling in her eyes.
He nodded quickly, blinking to keep his emotions in check when she started moved towards him, almost running.

She stumbled a little, but that didn't stop her, the resolve strong in her bright eyes. Yet, once she reached him, she halted. looking him up and down, her hands hovering right beside his arms, she posed the silent question.

Unable to find the words, he nodded, just once, feeling a stinging in his eyes he wouldn't let turn into tears.

His mother's cold arms always seemed warmer than any fire his father blasted at him to make him stronger.

Quickly, she wrapped her arms around him. He put his head in the crane of her neck.

She was shaking.

Her right hand caressed his back, while his left went up and stroked through his dual colored hair, without any hesitation this time. He gently wrapped his arms around her, embracing her with all of the pent up grief, sorrow and feeling of being apart. It only made things worse, as she was now crying, sobbing and sniffling.

They stayed like this for a long time.

With one final sniffle, she pulled back and looked him over again. "You've gotten so tall," she noted, voice rough from crying. She was caressing his arms.
"Sit down with me?" she then asked wiping away the tears while looking at her bed on the other side of the room. Shouto did not trust his voice yet, so he just nodded again. He followed her and took place right beside her. She took both of his hands in hers, smiling for a brief moment.

It was the same. His hands still were slightly different in temperature. She took in his looks, eyes stopping at the scar on his blue eye. Her left hand let go of his and she slowly put it up to his face, hovering right above the scarred skin. She looked into his eyes questioningly.

All Shouto felt was the lump in his throat. He couldn't speak so he took her hand again and put it on his face. She swallowed hard while brushing his red hair out of his face, tracing the outline of the scar. She took her other hand out of his to put it on her mouth to stifle a cry.

"I'm sorry, Shouto. I'm so so sorry," she said quietly through her fingers, voice still a little hoarse, while new tears found their way down her face.
"It's okay," he answered, his voice breaking midway.
"No, it's not okay. You're my little baby boy. Just what have I done?" she said again.

He put his hand on the one that was tracing his scar and took it away from his face. She was crying harder, thinking he might resent her for it, but he wrapped his arm around her again, holding her hand in between them. He began stroking her back, just like she did for him all those years ago.

"I forgive you, mom," he said quietly and she sniffled again, before she quietly nodded. She then stroked his back again, putting her hands in his soft hair.

Why was it that his mother's hugs were the only physical affection that brought him comfort?

She pulled them apart a little, took his face in both her hands and angled it all kinds of ways. Shouto did not understand. But she was smiling and nodding, her face still a little wet from the tears.
"I knew you would become a handsome young man one day!" she said and he blinked.

She wasn't sad about him not answering, since she had already learned about his distant personality from his siblings.

Shouto looked at her smiling face, asking himself again how it all ended up this way.

Why did she have to suffer because of him? Why couldn't he protect her from all this?

Why would she have to spend her life in this tiny hospital room?

He felt the stinging in his eyes again, trying to blink it away as he couldn't stop what was on his mind anymore.

"I'm so sorry, mom. I'm sorry for not being able to protect you. I'm sorry for letting you get hurt. I'm sorry for never having visited you. I'm so-"
He would've gone on if she didn't put a finger on his lips to stop him from talking. She took his head and put her forehead on his.
"It's okay, Shouto. I'm not angry. I know it must've been hard," she said quietly. He could feel his cheek getting wet and wanted to pull away but she didn't let him. "It's fine. Even heroes need to cry sometimes," she whispered. He nodded but quickly got himself together. He gently pulled away and put his hands on her arms.

"Mom, I'll save you from this place," he said determinedly. She was still smiling but she started shaking her head.

"No, I'd be happy- No, I'd be saved if you just moved on without anything holding you back," she said rubbing his arms. Without anything holding him back?

"Do you think I can become a hero?" he then asked the question he dreaded all along. He looked at the floor now.

He had to look up at her again when he heard her giggling behind her hand.

"You already are, Shouto. You are my hero."

His eyes went wide. Her smile grew wider.

"I've told you that before, when you were little, but I'll have to repeat it. You can be the hero you want to be. You can be the man you want to be. You are not bound by your blood. Make your own decisions and carve your own path. Because I know you can."

Shouto couldn't suppress the stinging in his eyes anymore. He cried. He openly cried. His cheeks grew wet and he didn't know what to do as all he knew for crying was punishment.

"I love you, Shouto. Always remember that. Whatever you decide to do, or whoever you decide to become: I'll be with you."

She wiped the tears away with the palms of her hands and smiled at him as if he was a jackpot in the lottery.

"Love ya too, mom," he whispered and knew the words were true as soon as he said them.

Maybe that side of him, the one that believed in love, wasn't dead after all.

His father always had a plan for his life laid out for him. Probably even before he developed his Quirk. Of course, it must've been obvious to Endeavor, since his traits were split in half.

His father's plan was simple. Enter UA, graduate UA, become a top hero, beat All Might and bring pride to his family. Fulfill the dream his father never could. That alone made Shouto fume with anger – Was his life really going the way his father wanted? Had he already planned out a heroic death for him?

Well, he asked if he'd already planned who he was going to marry – The answer was pretty obvious.

Of course it was yes.

It's not like Shouto was surprised. He was still disappointed though.

Getting angry at his father didn't do him any good. He realized that again when he fought Sero during the sports festival. Once he got angry, he would lash out. And if he lashed out, he would hurt others.

It was another one of fate's jokes that he inherited this shitty trait from his old man, wasn't it?

They had been sitting at the dining table, dinner halfway eaten. Fuyumi was sitting right in front of him while his old man occupied the head of the table. It was already really late, since Enji came directly from hunting down a pair of villains. Rice with vegetables and chicken, one of his sister's best tasting dishes. He still preferred cold soba though.

"Well then, when's the wedding?" Shouto had asked with his eyebrows raised, trying his best to suppress his anger. At that time he would've thought the marriage would be sometime once he was a real hero. Once he graduated. Or once he turned legally twenty or something.

Fuyumi looked back and forth between them. She probably hadn't known about that.

Shouto hadn't really had any contact to his siblings while growing up, since he always had to polish his fighting skills. But since he entered high school and stopped the homeschooling, his sister tried to tie them together. In the last month they probably saw each other more often than in the ten years before.

"Since it is for an equal exchange, and her parents need the money, it will be when both of you are sixteen. Don't worry, her quirk will be worthy of yours," he answered seriously.

And the quirk was the thing that mattered most in that statement? Shouto couldn't believe his ears.

His father didn't notice the look his daughter gave him. She had stopped eating her rice to stare at them. She was utterly confused.

How was he supposed to marry next year? He had never even had a girlfriend. Even though he guessed that wouldn't be the case for many more years to come anyway. And he still didn't figure out how actual working relationships were supposed to look like, since his parents weren't the best example. Or if it was even possible for him to work one out. He knew he had absolutely no social skill, so how do you get a girlfriend when you can't even make friends in the first place?

Endeavor then went on with his tirade. "Even though she didn't do that well-"

"Are you serious? Next year?" Shouto interrupted. Now his voice did sound a little angry. "You know that marriage for males in Japan is not allowed until eighteen years of age, even with parental permission."

"I'm the number two hero. Do you think such a pity law would stop me?"

Well – It didn't stop him from years of neglecting and abusing wife and children, so Shouto's answer was clear.

"No. No, it wouldn't."

It was silent at the table. Fuyumi didn't say a word even though she looked like she could write a book with all the words stuck inside her head at the moment.

"I'm glad you're finally accepting your fate, Shouto," Endeavor started, while Shouto just blinked at him, "Just follow the path I'm making for you and everything will turn out perfectly. Sure, it's a pity it has to be so soon, but I'm sure it's going to be okay. If you're going to be the number one hero, this little obstacle won't stop you," he said. Now Shouto stopped eating as well.

Obstacle? Did he really see a marriage as an obstacle which has to be overcome? Shouto shrugged. Of course he did. He only cared about having powerful offspring.

He probably never even considered mom as the wife he was supposed to love.

"I'm not accepting anything. Just because I stopped rebelling regarding my quirk-use, I won't just accept the life you planned for me," Shouto answered his father.
"You will. You say you want to go your own way, then why does it always end up being the same as the one I lay out for you?", Enji said while taking another portion of meat.
"Well, if it's like that, how am I gonna die?"

"Shouto!" his sister interrupted the discussion, before anyone could set the table on fire - Wouldn't be the first time that happened.
"What? It's true."
"Dad, what is all this about? Did you arrange a quirk-marriage for Shouto?" Fuyumi asked Enji, who was calmly eating his rice.
"Yes, the deal was made when he was five."

His sister swallowed. She pushed her glasses back on her nose. Shouto knew this as a sign she was trying to change their father's mind, which was never a good idea.
"But don't you think it's a bit too early for him to marry at sixteen? I mean, I'm over twenty already but I don't feel like I'm ready to marry yet," she tried carefully.
"It's early, yes. But not too early. I'm sure he knows how children are made."

Shouto blinked. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be embarrassed, like his sister was, but he wasn't really caught on that, the rage boiling in his blood.
"And that's an argument since it's the only reason you married?" he instead offered. He knew saying that probably wasn't very smart. But he was in rage and couldn't care less. His father surprised him by calmly ending the discussion.
"This is not an argument since this is not a discussion. The deal stands. You'll marry her. It doesn't matter if you want to."

Shouto took that as his cue to get up.

"Thanks for the food, sis," he started, "I guess my opinion regarding my life never mattered anyway." He was about to leave the room when he turned around again.

"By the way, I'll do the field training at your agency. Teach me how to use my flames, father," he said as he closed the door to the dining room.

He put his hands in his pants' pockets while walking up the stairs to his room, muttering a silent 'Bastard' under his breath. When he reached it, he entered and closed the door behind him. Just when he laid out his futon and took a seat while pulling out his phone there was a knock on his door.

Glancing up, he saw how his sister entered. She never waited for an answer, especially when she knew that there wouldn't be one. Most interestingly, she never barged in when there was anything to interrupt, which could mainly be because her brother wasn't actually doing anything most of the time.

He spent his time in the training room downstairs. This seemed to be something that stuck with him, even if his father didn't force him to train, he still did.

Shouto guessed it was routine.

"Hey," his sister started, while walking up to him, awkwardly ruffling her white hair with red streaks, "May I sit?" she asked. He nodded. Closing her eyes, she sighed before taking place right next to him on the Tatami flooring. Shouto put his phone down to give her attention.

"What's up?" he asked deadpan.

That made her sigh again.

"Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?" she asked while looking him in the eyes. What for? Maybe she was trying to figure out what he was thinking. Still his answer was clear.

"I'm fine." He didn't truly understand why she started shaking her head. She reached out with her arms while coming closer to him.

"Can I hug you?"

"Sure," he answered. He wasn't really fond of hugs or general physical affection, since he couldn't make any sense of them. They didn't bring him any comfort.
His sister knew that, so the hug probably only soothed her nerves. He would still hug her when she needed him. He didn't want to snap at her. The only reason he was angry was his father.

He didn't really like being touched.

There was only one person whose hugs had ever soothed him. That was also the only person that ever hugged him with his feelings in mind. The only one to ever stand up against his father. Until she broke and poured boiling water over his face. Whenever he let someone get close enough to him to feel safe, to feel loved, they disappeared.

As a consequence, he stopped letting people get close to him.
Because if he did…
They'd leave him anyway.

She reached around him and put his head in her neck, wrapping her arms around his back.

"Tell me, what do you feel? Are you angry? Lost? Afraid? Please tell me, I'm worrying about you. I didn't know, I swear, I didn't know," she whimpered and he could feel her shoulders shaking. She was about to cry.

"It's fine, Fuyumi. I don't mind," he lied. Of course he minded. He didn't even know that girl, yet he was supposed to marry her next year? A marriage was shaping a lifetime, even if it didn't last. He didn't want to spend his life with someone he's never met. It wasn't even about 'rebelling against his father' anymore.

He gave that up already, knowing it would be smarter to take his father's knowledge as number two hero. Yet letting Endeavor choose a wife for him? That could only go wrong.

"Don't lie to me, Shouto. Please don't lie to me. I know it must be hard," she wiped away her tears with her hand, "Okay, no, I don't know. I can't possibly know. So please don't push everyone away. I'm your sister, you can tell me."

Shouto was as stiff as ice in her arms.

He knew he always pushed people away. He was so caught up in his 'fate' that he couldn't see the people around him. People that didn't resent him. People that didn't use him. Since the sports festival, he was just confused. He had no idea what to do. Use his flames? Suppress his flames?

He had automatically distanced himself from everyone in class from the start. The only one that had cracked his exterior was Midoriya, of whom he didn't know if he could consider him a friend either.

What exactly was a friend?

What did lovers mean?

So many questions he didn't have the answer to. Growing up in isolation from people his age did no good to his social skills.

In that exact moment, laying in his sisters careful arms, trying desperately to comfort him, he put everything he realized over the past few days together. He spent most of his life trying to oppose his father. It didn't matter what it was, all he thought was: 'As long as it's what he wants, I don't want it'. Never did he think about what he himself wanted. Never did he think about what friends meant, and if he wanted to have some. And never did he think about falling in love.

He wanted to know what love was.

All of a sudden he realized how much he missed of his life.

His mother's words resonated in his ears. That he should move forward. That he shouldn't let anything hold him back. His decisions were going to be his own. He wasn't trapped by the fate his father chose for him.
He could set his sight on who he wanted to become. He would carve his own fate.

Never in his life did the words he told his sister that night seem this believable. He softly patted his sister's back as he whispered the only thing that came to his mind.

"I'll be okay."

Chapter 2: A speck of dust in this crazy ocean of fate

Summary:

Moonlight Kissed - Poets of the Fall

A slowly melting heart searching for a new path, the sunset giving way for the start of a connection unseen before.
An introduction to Yaoyorozu Momo.

Notes:

Thank you for the kind words to the last chapter! And for all of the Kudos I received, that honestly makes me so happy :)
Feel free to leave a comment here as well, I'm always hyped for your input!

This chapter is even longer than the last was, so I hope it was worth the wait!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

He'd be okay, he had said.

Shouto sighed.

Just deciding that he was going to make his own decisions didn't suddenly give him the power to talk to his classmates. What was he even supposed to tell them? He knew he behaved like a real ass since joining class. That was when he had decided not to care about anyone who was around him – He just wanted to prove to his father that he was wrong. That he didn't need his fire to become number one. Well, that wasn't Shouto's goal anymore.

He wanted to become a hero. And a hero wouldn't just imprison himself. A hero needed to be able to cooperate with other heroes. That meant that Shouto would have to be able to cooperate with his classmates. If he got along with them, that might also mean he would be able to do teamwork. Teamwork, he thought. Who would want to work in a team with him after all?

It was easy to understand why exactly they wouldn't want to talk with him. He did nothing except boast his ego, declare war to someone he had only met a few weeks prior and then pick a fight with Bakugo. Yeah, he guessed he didn't come off as the nicest person to be around. Okay, that's an understatement. But now he had the resolution to change that. All he thought he knew to be true was shaken up in a day, just with a few words.

You see, Shouto was never an optimistic person to begin with. So with his new determination and his bag packed with schoolwork, he went on his way to school. Only to be stopped by Fuyumi calling him back and handing him money for lunch. Perfect start.

He had also finished the field training application. At Endeavor's hero agency. He would've never believed this to happen. But he decided he would not let anything hold him back, so he would use his father's knowledge as the number two hero to become a better hero than his shitty old man could ever be.

There was only a week left before the field training started, so he's got to try to better his relationship with everyone.

On his walk to school his mind wandered again. He really didn't know what to do. He told his sister he'll be fine, yet he had no idea what he was supposed to do. 'Making your own decisions' sounded a lot easier than actually deciding something. The sun had already risen, even though it was still a little chilly in the shadows, which didn't bother Shouto since his body was used to regulate his temperature in any weather. Now that he used his flames again he was even more resistant to harsh weather.

How was he supposed to form his own path when he was already trapped in one? All of the decisions he made for himself always ended up at the same place his father wanted them to lead anyway. He also hadn't made up his mind on his sudden engagement. Which wasn't even sudden, but he only found out yesterday, so he'd call it sudden. He hadn't really considered a relationship for him, but not even getting the chance to try was hard. Maybe he'd get her family to hate him, so they'd cancel the wedding. That sounded like a good and easy plan. Most people hated him anyway, he'd manage to pull that one off.

He didn't know how to work out his plan to make friends with people. It's not like he hated them – Okay, he kind of did, but he wasn't as bad as Bakugo. He'd at least have the control to not scream at everyone.

Most of the time.

Shouto was so in thought that even though he realized that he went inside the classroom, he still didn't think about what he was doing. So he took place in his seat, like always. Without saying hello or acknowledging anyone in the room. Congratulations, you already failed the friendly greeting, he thought. He wanted to hit himself in the face. Maybe he also wanted to cry a little? Taking a deep breath, he just sighed instead. Looking around, he realized almost everyone was here already.

Why was change so difficult?

They were all in their usual groups, talking about the places they chose for their field training. Should he try to engage someone in conversation? But he hadn't heard the beginning, what was he supposed to say? Maybe someone would ask him something? But why would they, when he never really bothered to answer before? How was he even supposed to say hello now when he already missed his chance? Even Midoriya seemed unapproachable while he was talking to Iida and Uraraka.

This was so much harder than he thought it would be.

"Good morning, everyone!" Yaoyorozu said when she entered the classroom. Her dark hair was put up in a spiky ponytail again, like it always was. She greeted the girls while walking up to her seat next to him in the last row. He only realized he was staring when she put her bag down and looked at him.

"Good morning, Todoroki," she then said smiling.

He knew this was his chance.

"Morning," he answered. She stopped taking her textbooks out of her bag to stare at him. Why did she look so…shocked? Was it because it was the first time he answered back? Was it bad? Should he not have said anything? Her stare quickly turned into a smile again which further confused him. What? Why?

"Did you get home safely yesterday?" she asked then. She was trying to engage in a conversation with him? How did that happen? Maybe she really just was that smart and understood what he was trying to do. But how could she? She didn't know of the circumstances in the first place.

"Yeah," he answered. She blushed a little and he didn't understand why. She then averted her gaze and mumbled something along the lines of 'of course he did, he's here after all, nice try, Momo', which he obviously heard. When she looked back at him and saw him still looking at her, she blushed even further, understanding that he had heard her. "Sorry for mumbling," she then said. Before he could answer, the bell rang and Aizawa entered the room, his yellow sleeping bag already in hand.

She smiled at Shouto for a last time before taking place in her own seat. The dual colored boy looked at her for another while before looking to the front of the classroom when Aizawa started talking tiredly.

The next challenge was lunch. Everyone had already handed in their internship applications. Shouto went straight to the line of food to hopefully get himself some cold soba. Now was the question…Where was he supposed to sit? He usually searched for a place isolated from the rest of not only his class, but pretty much everyone. Like the rooftop for example. He saw Midoriya, sitting with Iida and Uraraka. Would he disturb them if he asked to sit with them?

What…What if they said no?

What should he do if that was the case? It's not like he was scared-

Okay, maybe he was a little scared. In general. Not knowing what to do was damn nerve-wracking. He just wanted to go home again. Why did he want to make friends again? Because of teamwork? Or because he was jealous of their friendly interactions now that he realized he would've had the same chance if he hadn't behaved like the antisocial wreck he was?

He could do this.

He would do this.

Slowly he walked up to them. Every possible outcome playing in his head. He became nervous, even though no one else was able to see it. He was trained not to show any emotion that would give his enemy the upper hand. In one swift motion he put his food tray on the table next to Iida. All three of them looked at him. Time seemed to stand still as he stared back.

"Uh… Is this place still free?" he asked them.

Wow, that was great. Of course it was free, he had just placed his tray there after all. He should have asked if they were okay with him taking place there. They probably thought he was completely crazy. But then he looked at their reactions.

Uraraka started beaming at him, Iida nodded vigorously while pointing at the place he had already placed his food.
"Sure, sit down!" Midorya answered with his typical bright smile where his eyes close completely.
While taking place nodding there was only one thing in his mind. He did it. He would spend his first lunch with classmates! Not that he knew what to do now. Why was interacting with people so difficult? They at least made the topic of the conversation easy.

"You're sure you're fine, Iida?" Midoriya asked him. Shouto understood what it was about. He'd heard about pro hero Ingenium's bloody encounter with the hero killer. Iida's big brother was lucky he was still alive, even though Shouto did not know how badly he was hurt and if there would be lasting damage. The news reporter had said it was probable he wouldn't be able to work as a hero anymore.

"I'm fine, just a bit worried," Iida said. Shouto did not completely believe that. And Midoriya didn't either.
"Are you sure? Is there anything new about your brother's condition?" he tried.
Iida did not answer for a while. He looked at his rice for a while before smiling sadly at Midoriya. "He's stable. But…" Iida did not finish the sentence.

…But he was not going to be fine, Shouto subconsciously completed the sentence.

Midoriya looked at his noodles, deep in thought. Shouto tried to understand Iida, looking him over carefully. He tried to analyze his behavior - His facial expression. And he was shocked to see one he knew all too well. He could see hatred, he could see determination. He could only conclude one thing which he'd seen in himself many, many times before.

Iida wanted revenge.

Shouto thought he'd use the chance he had while sitting with them.

"Iida, which agency did you choose for your field training?" he asked.

The dark blue haired boy looked at him. "The Hosu city hero office," he answered smiling. So that's why. His motive was now obvious. He chose Hosu to get closer to the Hero Killer. But why? Did he want to fight him? That was both reckless and dumb, especially if he was fueled by emotion. Well, Shouto thought about it, if something happened to Fuyumi… or his mother… It wouldn't matter. He'd do it no matter how dumb it was.

"I understand," he replied before starting to eat his noodles. He just hoped Iida would not get himself killed. But what was he supposed to say? 'Don't be angry, it's going to be fine'. He couldn't say that because it wasn't true. Shouto was not a liar.

"Todoroki, you had the most agency proposals, how did you choose?" Midoriya asked then. Shouto did not stop eating his noodles as he contemplated what to say. All three of them were looking at him again. He swallowed before deciding he would just say it.

"I chose Endeavor's," he started, "so I could witness the number two hero in action."
Midoriya gasped, since he didn't expect that - as Shouto and his old man weren't on the best terms. Uraraka was excited and said that she'd absolutely do the same. Iida just smiled at him.
"Is that okay?" Midoriya asked baffled. "Of course it's fine, Deku! Wouldn't you do the same if you had the connections?" Uraraka reasoned fast.
"Yeah, it's fine," the heterochromatic boy answered, to which Midoriya nodded. The green haired boy now knew that his classmate finally tried to approach his life differently. And he was happy to see it happen.
"Hey, do you have everyone's phone numbers for emergencies?" he then asked. Shouto was shaking his head in denial. Midoriya then held out his hand. The dual colored boy just looked at it.
"Give me your phone," he then explained as he understood that his classmate did not understand the clue.

Shouto nodded and moved to take out his phone, unlocking it before handing it over. Uraraka gaped at the background.
"Woah, who is that? She is so pretty!" she asked way too loud, so the table next to them turned to them…Which were their classmates as well. What a coincidence.
Kaminari was sitting with Sero and Kirishima on one end of the table, while Hagakure, Ashido, Yaoyorozu and Jirou were sitting on the other, leaving two seats in the middle free.

When Kaminari figured out that it was about a picture of a girl on the phone he almost teleported next to Uraraka, wolf whistling as soon as he saw his background.

"Wow! That's a real babe! Is that your girlfriend?" he then asked way too loud for Shouto's liking again. Midoriya was almost crying from laughter. The phone never reached his hand, as Uraraka had grabbed it to look at it better. Shouto was not happy at that comment. Kaminari read his facial expression and realized he might have just dug his own grave.

And on the mention of the word girlfriend, he felt the whole table next to them crowd over at theirs.

"Uraraka's right! She's soooo pretty!" Hagakure dreamily said. The other girls totally agreed with her, even Sero gave him a thumbs up. If only they knew. This situation was so uncomfortable Shouto wanted to disappear into the ground.

"Todoroki, do you have a girlfriend?" Yaoyorozu asked smiling. Now Shouto didn't know what to say. He couldn't just blurt out that he was freshly engaged. But that wasn't even the question. He then watched as Jirou smirked at Yaoyorozu, who blushed again and said a silent 'that's not what I meant!' while shaking her head and waving her hands in denial. Shouto did not understand why she was embarrassed.

Should he tell them whom they commented on? Should he play a joke on them? He knew he had absolutely no chill (at least not temperamentally, pun intended), so they would probably believe it if he played angry. While everyone was still gathered around his phone, he stood up. That got everyone's attention as the metal chair creaked on the floor. Kaminari looked like he was about to cry, while Kirishima patted his back sympathetically. Sero stopped laughing and Midoriya wiped the laughing tears from his eyes.

Shouto did not know what they expected him to do, freeze all of them to death? Well, that wouldn't be too far off; he did freeze half the stadium because he was upset before. But he wasn't really angry at the situation, they had no way of knowing whom they are talking about.

He decided that he would say the one and only truth.

"That's my mom," he said.

It was a picture his sister had given him, it was probably even older than him, but it was beautiful so he made it his background yesterday. She looked so happy, wearing a light flower dress while laughing widely at the camera. He didn't remember ever seeing her like this. It must've been from a time before she met his father. And while half the group burst out laughing, Kaminari was begging for forgiveness.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't know! But your mom really is a pretty woman!" he tried to justify his earlier comment. All Shouto did was look at him directly, not wavering in his gaze. The blond electricity user flinched. Shouto smirked for a moment. He definitely owned the dangerous gaze.

"I was just adding my phone number, as Todoroki hasn't gotten any of our numbers yet. Should I add yours as wel-" Midoriya started, but couldn't finish his sentence as Ashido had already stolen the phone from Uraraka, saving her contact info. Shouto just hoped no one saw that he only had four contacts up until now. His sister's, his brother Natsuo's, Endeavor's and his mother's hospital since yesterday. He didn't even have the teacher's numbers since he thought he wouldn't need them. He'd save those later today, the paper with the contact information lying on his desk at home.

When the phone lastly reached Yaoyorozu she added her number solemnly smiling before handing it back to him. She smiled at him and he didn't know what to do. Should he smile back?
"Thanks," he answered instead, loud enough it would count for everyone.
"It's fine! Took you long enough!" Kirishima answered, his statement supported by nodding heads around him. Shouto did not understand his classmates. But he realized something. Maybe they weren't so bad after all. What was that warm feeling in his chest? He didn't understand what it meant but he guessed he'd like to feel it more often. He noticed both Midoriya, as well as Yaoyorozu staring at him while smiling. Maybe they realized something he didn't. And maybe it was okay like this. It was a start. For the first time in his life, he believed in the words he told his sister the day before.

Maybe everything was going to be fine. Maybe he would be okay.

He looked around, saw all of his classmates standing around him. Took in all of the colors, the smiling faces he'd ignored for weeks before. Could it be that he wasn't alone after all? Just one interaction. It was just one real interaction he ever had with his classmates outside training. Why did they act like he had been one of them from the start?

Could it be that he started to believe in the good of people again?

Momo sighed as she packed her school bags to leave for the day. She looked outside the window, realizing that the sun was already setting. She had spent way too much time studying today. Still she couldn't remember her studying to be so… slow. Her mind was full; she was sad and didn't know who to talk to so she could get this off her chest. Her loss at the sports festival hit her a lot harder than she'd thought at first.

She couldn't tell her parents about it as they weren't that happy she wanted to become a hero in the first place. They'd rather see her take over the family business as she was an only child. But since Momo was little, she wanted to become a hero. Her parents were so happy when she'd made her first Martryoshka doll.

Creation. Her Quirk could be powerful, she knew that. When she created the right things at the right time and was able to use them properly. And she failed at all of these as she faced Tokoyami.

Sure, a shield wasn't the worst idea. But she didn't even realize she was out of bounds before thinking about attacking. Her on the spot thinking had failed her completely. The match was so short and her resistance not enough at all. She wondered how she even ended up in the top sixteen.

Probably because she was in Todoroki's team. Of course it was because of him. He was smart, having put together a team that had defense, offense and speed at the same time, successfully getting the ten million. So it was pure luck that she got selected, wasn't it? She didn't understand it, they were both recommended students. They should've entered school with at least similar levels of power.

But that boy… was a force of nature. He froze half the stadium in his fight with Sero. He was smart enough to figure out the thermodynamics of ice and fire, cooling the air down before letting it explode. Long and short range attacks, strong defense and durability, as he took Midoriya's bone breaking hits but could still fight on.

She didn't completely understand why he didn't use his flame side against Bakugo. He would've had a fair chance against him, might've even won. But she didn't beat herself up about not knowing. No one really knew Todoroki Shouto. Like during lunch break today. No one had seen him sit with other people before. Maybe something happened during the sports festival? The viewers couldn't hear what Midoriya said to him that made him release his flames or why he didn't use them in the first place. Now he even started to get invested socially.

She was so jealous. She admired him on so, so many levels. They should've been the same but still… he seemed so much better.

Momo sighed again, her self-esteem obviously suffered. And she didn't know how to get it back up. She tried talking to Jirou about it, a girl she was really close with, but she only told her she was smart herself, she was strong herself. But that wasn't what she wanted to hear. Jirou always said that, talking about her grades and all.

Momo just didn't know what could get her spirits up again.

Many times she tried to tell herself that she was in no way jealous of Todoroki and his abilities, but still she was comparing herself to him. Just why were they so different in the first place?

Shaking her head, she took her backpack and put it over her shoulder. When she left the classroom and looked out of the hallway windows she saw how the world was wrapped in beautiful sunset colors. The bright oranges and reds gave her a sudden feeling of warmth, even though she did not completely understand how that was possible. Was it something about how colors influence the feelings of people? She had read a book about that when she was young.

She took another moment to marvel at the last moments of the sun touching the horizon, realizing that it would be dark very, very soon, before quickly walking down to the lobby, where she changed her shoes. She was now headed for the parking lot, already taking out her phone to call her driver to pick her up. Gladly she told her mother in advance that she'd stay at school to study late today, in case Momo forgot about the time. Which she did.

Walking down the stairs while searching for her driver's contact she almost collided with a person before her but stopped at the last moment, wiggling in the air for a second. Stairs were not there for people to sit on, she thought a little annoyed.

She was already taking a breath to scold the student in front of her when she realized who it was. How could she not recognize him faster? The dual colored, red and white hair was so obvious after all. And he didn't even realize she almost tripped over him?

Taking another breath she took a step back, mouth pressed together in a thin line. She went down the next two steps so she would stand on the one he sat on but with a little distance. Again she wanted to speak but had to marvel at the sunset. Okay, not directly the sunset – How the beautiful, now deep red color resonated in his hair and let him look so peaceful, so…so beautiful was the only word she knew and she started blushing at her lack of words which was so untypical for her. He still looked as deadpan as he always did, but there was something about the situation, the warmth of the picture that made him look content.

And because that wasn't enough he looked up at the darkening sky above them, which let his hair fall back so she had a view of his scar. Suddenly it didn't remind her of burned skin anymore – pictures of the sun trading places with the moon in her mind instead.

She wanted to know how it came to be. His hair looked so soft she suddenly felt the urge to touch it.

No, Momo, you're not doing that. Don't be silly, she told herself.

She shakily let go of the breath she hadn't noticed she held.

Speak, before he realizes you stared at him for a whole three minutes, she thought while looking at the clock on her phone.

"Todoroki? Why are you sitting on the stairs?" she then asked carefully and his head snapped towards her. He had totally spaced out before. His mind had been somewhere far away. He then looked around, realizing where he was sitting but not getting up. "Why are you here this late?" she then tried.

"Not sure," he answered unaffected, locking eyes with her. Momo swallowed hard. Why did she have to feel so inferior to him now when she never had a problem talking to him before? She furrowed her brows at his statement. How can you be 'not sure' about sitting in front of the school for hours? Even though all of her taught manners spoke against it, she awkwardly sat down next to him, still at least an arm length away.

"You have a lot on your mind?" she guessed. He nodded but that didn't tell her anything at all. Maybe she shouldn't even care, maybe she should just get up and leave, but something inside her told her she should stay. His gaze wandered again, up to the now dark blue sky. The first stars were visible and Momo could point out at least ten formations by that time of the year.

When she thought he wouldn't answer anymore and she had no idea what to ask anymore either, she put her arms on her knees and used them to rest her head on. All of her etiquette was already thrown overboard when she sat down on the dirty stairs, so she guessed it wouldn't matter anymore. She inwardly apologized to her mother.

"Do you believe in fate?" he suddenly asked.

She looked at him again and saw that he was not looking at her. What? Fate? Why did he ask that? Momo had never really thought about it. Was everything that happens a coincidence? Well, scientifically, it was. But maybe there was something above everything else – That made everything end up at one point without anyone being able to change it?

"I honestly don't know," she stated and he looked at her.

"Do you?" she then asked. Again, he didn't answer for a while and she started to get chilly since it was still getting rather cold at night.

She analyzed his face again, memorizing everything she could see. That was mostly his left side, the red scar seemingly disappearing as it got darker. The only lights were coming from behind them as the school entrance was lighted. She realized she couldn't really see his face as the deep shadows hid most of his features. Was he contemplating what to say? Should she ask something different?

"I do," he answered. She didn't expect that. Shouto Todoroki believed in fate?

"Even though I hope it can be changed," he then added while turning to look at her again. She had to hide a little giggle behind her hand, but then quickly apologized for laughing.
"If it could be changed, why would it be called fate?" she explained her humorous reaction. Then he did something she wasn't sure if he was even capable of doing.

He smiled.

Shouto Todoroki just smiled at her.

Momo blushed again and hoped the lighting would not let him see her slightly red face. She could see the contours of his face even more through the strong lighting but it disappeared before she could even take it in completely.

All she did was blink and then it was gone. She wanted him to do it again. It was wonderful. Even though it really got cold at the moment, she realized her heart getting warm again. For a second she was sure his smile could end world hunger, or cure cancer, or whatever wonders where needed at the moment.

She wanted to hit herself for thinking something so silly again. They weren't even really friends, just what was she thinking about? Maybe Jirou was right with saying that she was actually crushing on him a little. But that wasn't possible, Momo knew. It was silly.

She was so, so silly.

But then another thing she asked herself came to her mind.

"Todoroki, why did you choose me for the cavalry battle?" she asked. Did he have a reason or was she just a person that was available at the right time? He looked confused for a second before answering.
"Because you're smart," he started and she blinked, "Your Quirk allows you to create almost everything. No matter the situation; you'd be able to help out some way."
He thought she was smart? His reason for choosing her seemed logical. His planning had been great again. She admired him again. She wanted to sigh again, but let it be as she knew he wouldn't understand her struggle at all. A soft wind caught them and she couldn't help the shudder shaking her body. When did it get so cold?

"Come closer," he noted and she looked at him dazzled. She should do what? Why would he want to get closer? He sighed when he realized that she didn't understand and moved a little closer to her. They didn't touch, but she still felt awkward being close to him. Her blush returned. That's when she realized. It was warm. He was warm. He had wanted her to come closer because he realized she was cold. She was sitting on his left side and could feel his warmth. She stopped shuddering.

"Better?" he asked, still not looking at her.
"Yes, thank you. That was really observant of you," Momo said quietly, "You actually realize a lot more about people than you want to admit, do you?" Now he looked at her again and Momo registered just how close he was. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but something about it seemed so wrong yet she didn't pull away. After a while she realized that he didn't answer.
"Something has changed, hasn't it? I know I don't know the details but you… are different from before the sports festival," Momo then told her observation. Of course she had watched him, he was the other recommended student after all. Nothing more. Shouto nodded.

"Has it got something to do with you sitting in front of school this late?" she asked.
"I actually came back here," he admitted and she furrowed her brows.
He noticed her expression. "I argued with my shitty old man and wandered around. Somehow ended up here," he then reasoned.
"Your father, Endeavor. You don't like him that much, do you?" she observed again. He eyed her for a while.
"Understatement," was all he answered.

Momo didn't dare to ask why. Sure, Endeavor wasn't the nicest hero out there, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to know how it would be to have him as father.
But Shouto didn't talk about it like it was only that. Something must've happened.

He probably expected a lot. Just like her parents did. Always use the proper etiquette, greet people and be nice. Meet those people, listen to that business partner. Her parents just didn't understand her want to become a hero. She wanted to save people. She didn't want her Quirk to be useless. It had so much potential - she just had to use it to do good for the world. Momo loved her parents and she'd do almost everything if the reasons were right, but sometimes they didn't understand her at all.

There was an awkward silence between them. She didn't know what to say anymore. She looked at her phone which told her it was already 9pm by now.

"Yaoyorozu? What exactly are friends?" he then suddenly asked. Momo was a little confused.

"Friends?" she thought for a second before answering, "Real friends are people that support you, people that you can tell anything. You just feel really comfortable with them," she tried explaining but couldn't quite catch the words to explain.
"Comfortable?" he asked.
"Yeah, like, you can hug them or cry in front of them without being embarrassed!" she finally got a grasp of what to say but got embarrassed by her terrible examples.

"Are they not friends if you don't feel like that around them?" he sounded a little different than usual while saying that. Kind of…sad?
"What do you mean?" she asked. She made a horrible guess. Todoroki Shouto didn't really have friends, did he? Just why? He didn't answer her. It seemed like he was thinking deeply about the question.

It was silent again. Momo wondered if her mother was waiting for her. Or being anxious about where she was that long. But she didn't want to leave yet. She couldn't go now with the knowledge that Todoroki didn't know what friends are. And she hoped, she really hoped she was wrong with her guess.
"Todoroki?" she then asked and he looked at her again.

"Do you not have anyone to talk to like this? Like we do right now?" she asked while observing his reaction. She already knew he was brutally honest, so he would say the truth, right? If he even answered. Her heart sank when he shook his head.
"Not really," he said, while putting a hand on his chin, mimicking a thinking pose, "Maybe Midoriya but I don't know about that either."
Momo took a deep breath. She realized that just because she admired him for his skills, he did have his own problems as well. That didn't lessen her admiration for him at all but it still bothered her. He did have everything; he was the son of the number two hero, he was a brilliant fighter and smart as well. How could it be that he had no friends at all?

"Why?" was all she could ask. Did it have something to do with the question about fate earlier on? Well, it didn't have to since he was extremely difficult to read. He looked at her again.

There was a silent sound of something vibrating as Shouto took out his phone and looked at the caller's ID. He answered the call and held it to his ear.
"Yeah. I'm fine. I'll come home soon," he said and hung up.
"My sister. I guess I'll have to get going. How are you getting home?" Momo was disappointed that they'd already have to leave but took out her phone.
"My driver'll pick me up. Do you want a ride?" she asked.
He shook his head. "I'm fine," he started, "Call. I'll stay till he's here."
Momo nodded and quickly dialed the number.

After she hung up she looked at the clock again. She had maybe seven minutes until the driver would be here. She knew he wouldn't answer her question anymore. Instead she thought about what to say.

"Midoriya…I think he'd like to be your friend," she said surely.
"You think so?" he asked and she couldn't help but note how tired he sounded.
She nodded while smiling at him.
"I'm sure."

Time passed too fast and she could already see the headlights of her driver's car. They both got up and he walked her towards the parking lot. She suddenly had an idea.

"Todoroki. If you want someone to talk to…You can call me," she said grinning. His eyes widened for a moment and she had to giggle again.
"You have my number," she explained.

She was about to open the door of the car that lead to the backseat, when she paused and looked him over again.
"I think most of us would like to be your friends. You just have to open up to us a little," she said, still smiling.

He leaned his head to the side a little, before looking to the ground and then looking at her again. The motion seemed like he was pondering her suggestion. She was caught on his heterochromatic eyes, openly staring.

"Yaoyorozu," he said and she blinked to get out of her daze, "Good night."
"Good night!" she replied while waving and entering the car. She watched him through the darkly toned car window until she couldn't see him anymore.
"Who was that?" her driver, Kori, asked interestedly.
"Just a friend of mine," she replied without thinking before she blushed again. So she already considered him a friend anyway. She suddenly realized how cold she felt as his warmth wasn't there anymore. Yes, she thought, he was warm. The icy shell he showed them even through most of the sports festival slowly melted. And she was happy to witness it.

When she got home there was a single message from an unsaved number on her phone.
'Home?' it said. She knew only one person that would ask her - and knew she was at school late – if she came home safely by only using one word. She shook her head while grinning and saved the number.

She didn't realize her mother staring at her like she was a complete lunatic and didn't really care either. Neither that she couldn't even remember what she tried to study that day.

She just stared at her new contact.

Todoroki Shouto.

Notes:

And they finally interact!
Let's lit the candle for a slow burn!
What you think about their first real interaction?

Who guessed the picture was going to be happy Rei?
Will Jamming-Whey ever stop digging his own grave?
How will Todoroki's and Yaoyorozu's relationship progress?
When and how will she find out?
Please tell me your thoughts :D

Chapter 3: I'm the best kind of mess

Summary:

Mess - Get Scared

A child caged in his own life.
Friendship forms where fear was planted and the night's are long when waiting for a sign.

Notes:

Good evening!

Thank you all so much for the kind comments! They honestly always make my day!

I changed the summary of the story a little, since I think it sounded a little too depressed for my liking since there's also a huge comedy aspect (just like in Boku no hero) which will be included. Please tell me if you agree with me here :D

I won't say much else: Enjoy and don't forget to tell me what you think :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

When Shouto reached home that evening, his sister was already waiting in the kitchen. Once he closed the door behind him she was standing in front of him with crossed arms. She looked really, really tired. Well, it already was past ten, so he guessed that's why.

"Are you okay?" she asked, leaning against the wall while he was taking off his shoes.
"I'm fine. Wandered around a bit," he explained, knowing she would be worried otherwise.
"What were you arguing about this time? Even father's not leaving his study." His sister sounded even more tired than she looked like, which told him that he was officially one of the reasons she was this way.
"Marriage and mom," Shouto replied, standing up straight again and looking through the hallway to his father's study. It was almost too silent.

"You still can't just leave and disappear all day!" she then said exhausted. She was whispering but he could still hear that she was angry.
"Sorry for worrying you," he apologized, deadpan as ever. His sister just sighed.
"It's okay but please don't do that again. I know you can take care of yourself but I don't like you going somewhere without saying anything."
"Okay," he mumbled, casually walking by his sister. It's not like she needed to be worried.
"At least call me, okay?" she called after him when he entered the kitchen. She almost sounded caring. But that's how he'd gotten to know his sister in the short time they'd had actual open interactions.

Staring at the stove he let out a tired sigh, his need for sleep somehow outweighing the necessity of eating. He was pretty sure it wasn't a good idea to eat that late at night, but he couldn't seem to care.

"There're some leftovers in the fridge," Fuyumi told him as she turned up next to him in the kitchen, already opening the fridge to hand him the plate.
"Thanks," he replied and put the plate on the table, sitting in front of it and heating it with his left hand. He did not have enough patience to microwave it.
As always, his sister was taking place opposite him.
"I met a classmate today," he then started the conversation. Fuyumi looked surprised.
"Really? Where you at school again?" she asked while crossing her arms in front of her chest, leaning back in the chair.
"Yeah. She was studying late, I guess." Shouto started eating the fried rice with his spoon.
"She? You met a girl?" She raised her eyebrows at that.
"The one who was on my cavalry team at the sports festival," he explained, mouth still half full. Fuyumi frowned at his manners but knew he wouldn't even care.
"The black haired one? What was she called…Yaoyorozu?" His sister asked while ignoring his antics.
Shouto nodded while chewing.

"She's nice," he stated thinking about their conversation, which was so meaningful and still about nothing in concrete. But it was great in getting his mind of the argument he'd had a few hours prior. His father had confronted him about the engagement, telling him to just accept his fate.
That may have been the reason he'd asked Yaoyorozu about fate, but he wasn't too sure.

He had to admit he hadn't realized she was there until she started talking to him, startling him a little. Hopefully she hadn't noticed that. It'd be weird for anyone to know that he did indeed startle quite often.

Fate was something he could not not believe in, since it was the first thing he was taught when he was little. Would it really be his fate to surpass All Might and marry a stranger to lead the life his father already chose? He said he'd make his own decisions. But if there really was something like fate, his decisions wouldn't change anything. He'd still end up in the same place. So he had to question if there was something like that, a future, a plan laid out for every person. Was it his mother's fate to end up locked in a hospital room? That couldn't be true. Fate couldn't actually be this cruel.

Yet he knew it was. Some people just didn't have the luck to lead a happy life full of love – just like him.

Did the girl he was going to marry feel the same about this? She'd be unhappy anyway. He wouldn't bring her happiness. He couldn't.

In that way he realized he was the same as his father again, hurting the one he was supposed to love without even knowing her. That's the reason he got angry again. The only thing he never wanted was to become like his father. His bastard excuse of a father. What if his fate was to turn out like him? He was too similar to him in too many ways, having no proper anger management, no idea of relationships or love or whatever there is included.

He'd never forget Yaoyorozu's facial expression when he told her he didn't really have friends. It wasn't pity, which he would've expected. It was a frown, like she already anticipated that but still hoped he wouldn't say it. But he couldn't be sure, he didn't understand her. She'd also asked him why he chose her during the sports festival even though he thought it was obvious. He couldn't understand her at all.

"Nice?" his sister then asked, leaning on the table to look at him interested. "My antisocial little brother thinks a person is nice? Are you really fine?" she joked while smiling.
"I'm great," he replied annoyed at her joke, shoving another giant spoon of rice in his mouth.

Well, he thought a few more of his classmates were pretty nice. Some where even fun to be around, like Kaminari, whom he might be teasing most of the time, but who knows for sure, really.

Of course he felt kind of connected to Midoriya after telling him his life story, which he might have regretted telling a few times, but it let him made peace with his flame side so it was okay. That's one thing Shouto realized about himself – He either said nothing at all, or absolutely everything.
He had just wanted to ask him about his connection to All Might, and tell him he'd overcome him with only his ice side as a challenge. Yet he ended up telling his clueless classmate his entire terrible life story, officially traumatizing him. He still had no idea how that happened.

Maybe it was something like Yaoyorozu said…Wanting to talk to somebody or something.

"Did dad say anything about when you are going to meet the girl?" she asked him after a long time of silence and after he finished his dinner. Shouto was just standing up to put the dishes in the sink when he stopped midway. He then sighed and put the dishes on the counter while turning around to face his sister instead.
"After finals, during the summer break," he explained. His sister nodded.
"Maybe…Just maybe… she's going to be nice. Maybe you'll like her," Fuyumi said while standing next to him. "Here, let me do the dishes. You go rest, there's school tomorrow." Shouto blinked slowly while watching his sister grab the dishes while getting up from the table.

Maybe he'll…like her? He never thought about the possibility of that.

"Night, Fuyumi," he said quietly while she smiled at him.
"Good night, Shouto," she said before turning back to the dishes.

It was when he was lying in bed, on top of his blanket while staring at the ceiling, that he wrote Yaoyorozu a message. He didn't know what made him do that. In the black screens reflection he could see his own black and blue eyes. He scratched the back of his head before he unlocked the phone, looking at his mother's picture again, which made him smile sadly.

Then he stared at his contacts, his now twenty-four contacts, as his classmates added even the people that weren't in the cafeteria this lunchtime. He even had the contact information of damn Bakugo, who would've rather killed the dual Quirk user before giving him his contacts. Shouto could actually scroll through his contact list. Scroll! He felt like he achieved something important.

He found her number quickly, as she saved herself under 'Yaoyorozu Momo' – and he always called her Yaoyorozu. Momo, he thought, translates to one hundred.

What was he supposed to send her? How did normal people start a conversation?
"Home?" he read out loud as he send the message. Better to just get to the point. Even thinking about small talk was pointless to him. He thought about the conversation they had. How he had actually asked her if she believed in fate. Or what friends were. He wasn't sure if he was an idiot after all. But well, what else were they supposed to talk about? Why did she ask him about the reason for choosing her in the cavalry battle?

He almost laughed when he thought about how awkward they were today. At least they had been awkward together. For example how she didn't realize his proposal to get closer was to get her a little warmer.
He may be a little emotionally stunted, but he could still see when someone was obviously cold.
He had gotten close to her then, but only close enough so she'd feel his Quirk.
Any closer and he was sure he would've backed away as he didn't like casually rubbing shoulders together.

It didn't take long until he received an answer.
'Yes, I reached home safely! Thank you for asking. Did you get home safely?' it said. Well, she could've protected herself even if there was trouble on the way, but it was nice to hear anyway. He wondered why she would care if he got home alright, yet he thought it was probably something about socials he didn't get.
'Yeah,' he answered. He was about to turn his phone off to go to sleep, when it vibrated again.

'Good night, Todoroki. It was nice talking to you today.'

Shouto blinked slowly. It was nice…having talked to him? Did she really think so? He knew she wasn't someone with bad intentions, so she wouldn't lie to him. Not about something like that. And in the dark of his room, only illuminated by his phone's way too bright lights, he smiled.

He smiled, completely free and without anyone around so he didn't bother with washing the smile away.

"Night, Yaoyorozu," he whispered as he wrote it, before hitting send and activating his alarm for school tomorrow. He slept well that night, dreaming off an imaginary girl, smiling brightly at him. That smile reminded him of someone but he couldn't grasp who it was.

All he saw were eyes, dark as onyx.

In one way or another, Shouto guessed right. Iida did something dumb and dangerous. And Midoriya stepped in, being smart enough to call for help but still having to be dumb to consider taking on the hero killer alone. At least Shouto had understood what his sent location meant. Not that he was any smarter for stepping in. Now both Midoriya (through the sports festival) and Iida (through saving his left arm) had malfunctioning hands.

"No, really. Maybe I should change my hero name," he had said completely serious while staring at his hands.
"…No, Todoroki. Just no," Midoriya replied, already guessing where he would be going with this.
"Call me 'The hand crusher', that guy from the league will cower in fear," he said and only looked up when both Iida and Midoriya burst out laughing again. "…I'm being serious here," he mumbled.
"I apologize on behalf of both Midoriya and myself for laughing, but we didn't know you'd be so fun to be around," Iida said while wiping the tears of laughter away from under his eyes. Midoriya agreed nodding.
"You should've talked to us earlier! Then we wouldn't have missed out on stuff like this," he added with a bright grin.

Todoroki blinked. Maybe Yaoyorozu had been right. Maybe they'd actually like to have him as a friend after all. He didn't think that possible after he behaved like a real prick for most of the time they'd known him. What was he supposed to say to that? They really were nice but he had no clue as how to behave amongst friends. Did they really think he was serious all the time?

Well, he knew he did look serious most of the time. Or was it funny because he looked serious? He didn't understand humor either. Another thing to add to his list of things he'd have to learn one day. But he kind of did actually wreck their hands. Even if it was indirectly. Out of the three he officially sustained the least injuries, with only a scratch in the face and… well, two stabbing wounds on his left arm.

He'd been through worse. There wouldn't be any lasting damage, except two long scars which will remind him to be more careful next time. He had realized one thing: He relied on his Quirk way too much. The hero killer was absolutely right about that.
Why use physical combat when freezing someone took so much less effort? Why push someone away when you can just enflame yourself so the other person has to pull back to not get burnt?
It made sense in a way, yet the hero killer was right. It's not like he was really bad at hand to hand combat, but when he thought about the sports festival…He was human punching bag for Midoriya and couldn't do anything against Bakugo. Well, he didn't really try against Bakugo though, so he might have a different chance using his flames, but he wouldn't ask him for a fight.

No way, Shouto didn't want to die right now. Sooner or later they'd have to have a rematch. Most probably during hero class, and then there would be a teacher to hopefully intervene before there were any casualties through a hero in training.

Yes, Shouto thought Bakugo was weird. But that was fine; he knew he thought the same about him. They were rivals and well, not friends, but he didn't actually hate him. Even though Shouto wasn't sure if that was mutual. Bakugo might hate him for kind of letting him win at the sports festival. Shouto couldn't bother himself to care.

A while later Shouto was lying in his hospital bed, staring at the ceiling.

While looking at his bandaged arm, he wondered if his future wife would care about scars. She shouldn't, Shouto thought, since he was going to become a hero. And that would probably result in many more scars than just those tiny scratches. Of course there was also the obvious burn scar in his face, which's story he'd rather not have anyone else know.

Would she hate it?

Find it ugly?

He did, but that didn't matter. All it did was remind him of the pain his mother and he had to go through. He didn't even know her name. Or what she was doing at the moment, who she wanted to become. Was she younger than him? Or older? That would probably influence the wedding date. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. He was actually going to marry soon? Did that even make sense? It wasn't even completely legal. There always were exceptions but he never thought he might be one of them.

Shit, he didn't even know if he wanted to get married at all. So much could go wrong. He didn't have the qualifications for a marriage. What exactly was it even going to take? What was marital life supposed to look like in normal, loving and peaceful households? He had no damn clue.

That was when Shouto had an idea. There was someone right here whom he could ask. Todoroki turned in his hospital bed so he was able to see Iida. Midoriya was outside, calling his mother, which meant he'd be gone for another while.

"Iida?" Shouto asked carefully. Okay, he sounded like always but he swore he intended to be careful. The dark blue haired boy was looking at his phone, probably texting his mother. His brother had regained consciousness this morning. And while these were good news, it was now known he wouldn't be able to use his legs anymore.
"Yes, Todoroki?" the teen answered him, laying down his phone and getting up to properly look at the person in the bed in front of his. Yeah, manners Shouto didn't have. Shouto let his head fall into the pillows again.
"You're from one of the more prestigious hero families, right?" the dual colored boy asked. Of course he was. That was a rhetorical question since he didn't know how to address the topic.
"I am, but why do you ask?" Iida replied. Shouto was silent again. Should he ask? Or was that a dumb question again? He didn't know.

"Are your parents gonna marry you off?" He should've guessed he would be met with an awkward silence. When he thought the pause had gotten too long, he sat up a bit to look at the boy on the bed opposite his. Iida put his phone away and pushed back his glasses. The motion reminded Shouto of his sister. The dark haired teen sat up completely and looked him over. His right arm was in a sling, preventing it from getting injured more while it healed. Shouto stared at him, not moving an inch.

"Are you asking if my parents arranged a marriage for me?" he asked frowning.

The red and white haired teen nodded before deciding it would be less painful for his neck if he just sat up as well. Shouto got up and walked over to the window. It was a bright day outside and he could see the little city of Hosu. Saw how the tiny people were going their own ways. He asked himself if they had the power to decide over their lives. If they had a better fate than him.

"Yeah," he replied absent-mindedly, before turning back to Iida.
"Hm. I see," Iida started while getting up as well and standing next to him. The dark haired boy was way taller than him, older as well. Maybe he'd have some insight or something. He was smart, and he was the class rep. And he was sure he wouldn't run off and tell everyone. Maybe he'd have simila-
"No. I don't think they have. Maybe they will one day when I'm old enough to marry."

Shouto let out a single exhausted breathy laugh before shaking his head. No, their problems weren't similar at all.
"Old enough?" he whispered, more to himself.

No one cared if he was old enough to marry. To give part of his life away. He finally had the conviction to change his life and become a hero, one like All Might, whom people could trust and put their faith into, without it being a terrible man behind the scenes like his father was, but he couldn't change the path that his father had already formed. Ever since he was a child he tried to oppose his father, tried to live his life differently from him. He had never been old enough. Five.

He was five years old when his father first decided to take away his free will.

His childhood wasn't normal, his younger teenage years weren't normal, but now he tried to find friends like normal people did. He wanted to understand people. He wanted to know what it felt like to fall in love.

He was a child, stumbling in footsteps way too big for him, in a snowfield too deep to cross, searching for a way out of a life that didn't feel like it was his in the first place.

Iida was watching his smaller classmate. There had to be a reason why Todoroki asked him something like that. He didn't seem to be the type to talk about things without any reason – Just like he asked him where he was doing his field training. Tenya had understood the younger one already guessed what he wanted to do. But he still didn't know how to stop him so he'd instead saved him from the immediate danger. His words had inspired him to fight.

To not give up when he actually already did. He had failed as a class representative. He had failed as a friend, as people got hurt because of him. But he had gotten up again, and they brought the hero killer down. Even though they would be dead if he actually tried to kill them – they fought and they won. Iida was thankful to both of his classmates for saving him from a fight he started without any logical and calm thinking.

So he tried his best to understand the problem his younger classmate, no, friend, had. Of course it had to do with the question about his parents plans for his future, so he guessed it would be most logical to start with that.
"Are your parents arranging a marriage for you?" he asked Todoroki carefully. He was trying his best to try and figure out what bothered him.
"… Yeah," was his hesitant answer. But something was off. He knew he missed a little detail and couldn't grasp what it was. Then he realized it.
"Do you know the girl?"
"No," Todoroki said while shaking his head.
"Is that what's bothering you?"

The heterochromatic eyes looked up at him, before turning back to the world outside the window.
Iida guessed he wouldn't receive an answer.

"Do you know when the wedding will be?" he then asked, having no idea what else could be on the mind of the fifteen year old in front of him.
He then saw a smirk on the boys lips. But his eyes didn't smile. It was sarcastic.
"Next year," he said as deadpan as ever. Iida didn't understand. Marriage wasn't allowed before a man was eighteen years of age. It wouldn't be possible before graduation as the younger boy was born in January. Todoroki saw his confusion.
"But how…?" Iida asked then.

Todoroki was shaking his head, then sighed and turned around, leaning on the windowsill.

It didn't make sense and Iida was about to tell him that when Midoriya entered the room, looking a little exhausted, probably from his mother's worried crying.
When Iida received another look from black and blue eyes, he realized he shouldn't say anything.

Even though he asked himself why he had asked him in the first place, he stayed quiet. Iida realized again that all people had something that's weighing on their shoulders. And just like Todoroki figured out he had planned something really dumb, he now knew one of his worries. But what should he do with that information?

He was sure they weren't close enough he'd actually open up about his feelings – Iida was sure he had them but couldn't really show them, even though he didn't know why. And again he was sure he'd never find out the 'why'. He could ask Midoriya if he knew something, but that would obviously betray the trust that Tdoroki put in him. If it could be called trust or just curiosity if someone else had the same problems, Iida didn't know.

"Everything okay?" Midoriya then asked both of them, looking from one to the other.
"Everything's alright," Iida said with a little glance to the dual Quirk user, before he looked at Midoriya.

Iida knew there was nothing he could do. Nothing he could say to take the burden of Todoroki's shoulder.

But he still had to wipe a little tear from his eye. Even though he had failed as a class representative, the younger one had trusted him with his personal life. He had told him about his struggles, even though he'd always tried to isolate himself.

Thank you for putting your trust in me, I'll keep this secret for you, was all Iida could think at that moment.

Momo had been waiting for a response for way too long. It seemed like the seconds took hours to pass. She had heard. Midoriya, Todoroki and Iida got into contact with the hero killer.

Were they fine?

How did that happen?

How high was the possibility Iida met the hero killer this shortly after his brother was injured? Would at least anyone reply and tell her if everyone's alright? She had texted all three of them – Wouldn't there be anyone who'd bother with calming her nerves?

'Is everything alright? I heard you got into contact with the hero killer,' she had sent to all of them. It had been at least a few hours since she had typed those messages – and she was nervous ever since. What if one of her classmates got hurt badly? What if they ended up paralyzed like Ingenium?

Momo gulped. She didn't even want to think about it. All of her classmates had already found a place in her heart. Except maybe Mineta, but she wouldn't want to see him get hurt like this either, even though he treated her like a piece of meat.

What if she lost any of them?

She looked at her hands while she was sitting on her bed, realizing she was shaking all over. The day before the last day of field training was already over and it was dark outside. It was late and Momo knew she should go to sleep but she wouldn't be able to if no one answered.

Her nerves wouldn't let her sleep.
She had already changed into her light blue pajamas, a long button up with short pants and was in bed, resting against the headboard, the blanket draped over her.

Taking a deep breath she took another look at her phone and looked at the second message she had sent Todoroki.

'Did you get hurt? I hope you're fine, please call me if you read that.' Why had she sent that to him specifically?

Maybe because of their talk after school last week?

She had told him he could call her if anything happened. Everyone could come to her for an open ear and her classmates knew that. But the fact that she had to tell him that it also counted for him naturally gave him a special place in her mind. Momo knew she worried too much and all of them were aspiring heroes who could take care of themselves.
Still, she couldn't stop worrying. She definitely wasn't worried about him because she liked him. Not at all, that would be really silly. It was just when she had sighed again, putting her hair behind her ear, that she heard her familiar ringtone. She stared at the caller ID for a second before realizing who called. Her heart almost skipped a beat from relief.

"Todoroki?" she asked after accepting the call, gathering her blanket in her fist.
"Yaoyorozu," he replied.
She could feel how a weight was lifted from her shoulders. She sighed from relief. He was fine. He survived fighting the hero killer. Even if she didn't know what happened, she was incredibly proud of him.

"Are you okay? Did you get hurt?" Momo started, holding her blanket even tighter in her fist, "Are Midoriya and Iida with you? Are they okay? What happened?" She couldn't stop asking questions, all of her nerves unloading on the poor guy that just called her for the first time, "Did you win against the hero killer? Was it-"
"Yaoyorozu," Todoroki interrupted her and she was silent in an instant. She could only hear him let out a long breath.

"One question at a time," he said, sounding incredibly tired. Momo let go of the breath she hadn't realized she was holding since he interrupted her.
"Are you three okay?" she decided was best to ask first.
"Some minor and some borderline major injuries," he answered calmly, having made a pause in between speaking, as if he contemplated what to say, "…but we'll be alright, I guess." Momo nodded, being relieved none of them got hurt too badly.
"Did you really fight the hero killer? I heard Endeavor saved you after contact, but they didn't say too much in the news."

She was met with silence for a little while, only hearing his regular breaths. She didn't think it was possible to get Goosebumps from listening someone else breathe. He didn't do anything but she still gave attention to every breath he took. After letting go of her blanket, she rubbed her other arm while pouting. Just why did she react to him like this?

"Well…Endeavor saved us, right," he answered annoyed. He was properly incredibly annoyed since he wasn't on best terms with his father, Momo thought. She still wondered why. He was the number two hero, saved countless lives and seemed okay over all, maybe a little bad with the press but she was sure he'd be better at home. He had to be.

Todoroki hadn't even used his flames before the sports festival and never called his father by his name, at least not without mockery. Momo didn't want to repeat the exact words he used. Yeah, respectful was a word she'd never use to describe Todoroki in general, so maybe it was just his personality.

But why didn't he tell her what happened with the hero killer?
He was an honest guy, he'd surely tell her. If he wanted to. Maybe he wasn't allowed to? She decided not to pry farther. It would be for the better.

"How did your field training go?" she asked while putting a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"Useful," Todoroki started and he seemed a little less annoyed now. Not happy either, but calm again.
"I learned how to use my flame Quirk," he said. Momo was stunned. He…didn't even know how to use his flame Quirk?
"You learned that in five days?" she asked, sounding just a little bit excited.
"Most of it, yes. Just missing a little practice," he explained. Her admiration for him did not ever seem to falter. It only grew further.
"That's great!" Momo got up on her knees, crumpling her sheets and blankets while putting her fist up in the air in a champion's pose.

Why did she feel a sense of victory when he succeeded in something? Did that even make sense?

"How was…your field training?" Todoroki then asked. She was happy he was showing the initiative of asking her questions.
But then she was reminded of her…underwhelming field training with Uwabami. Momo sighed while sitting down on her knees.
"It was okay," she replied. Even though it wasn't the best choice it was still an experience she would treasure since heroes had to deal with publicity and press many times. She was glad for everything she'd learned, even though it wasn't what she'd expected at all.

With her answer came an awkward silence. She didn't know how to break it. Thankfully he did and that in a way she would've never expected.

"About Midoriya… you were right, I think. He's a friend, even though I'm sometimes uncomfortable," he said quietly, as if he wasn't alone in the room and trying to keep the conversation private. Momo was smiling brightly.
"I told you he was or would be soon," she replied letting herself fall on the mattress again.
"… Yeah," he said after a long pause. She could now hear him breathing again, even though she now realized quiet talking in the background. Why didn't she notice that earlier? Was she that distracted by him?

Momo blushed at her rapidly beating heart and looked at the time on her phone. She held a hand over her heart, trying to understand what was going on with her. She was so embarrassed at her sudden outburst.

"Oh, it's so late already! I guess I'll go to bed now, sleep well!" she said quickly before taking the phone away from her ear to hang up, as she heard him say:
"Wait, Yaoyorozu."
"Yes?" she replied quietly.
"Thanks."

Momo blinked. Why did he say thank you? She didn't even do anything.
She could hear him take a deep breath.

"Good night, Yaoyorozu," he said.
Stunned at his behavior she didn't even notice he had already hung up before she whispered a breathy:
"Good night, Todoroki."

When she looked at her phone, the screen already black, she buried her face in her hands with a squeal.

She was a silly, silly girl.

Notes:

And their relationship evolves!
What do you think? Are they oblivious enough?
I always have that image in mind that both Todoroki, as well as Yaoyorozu are smart (Yaoyorozu even more) but fail to realize the small and simple things they aren't really familiar with, so I hope that went well.

And I wanted to include Iida a little more, so he's got a scene here as well and there'll be more if you want! Would you like some Bakugo-Todoroki interactions? I surely do.

Anyway, university is starting tomorrow and I'm not sure when I'll get the next chance to update, but it's probably sometime during the weekend or early next week (it took me two hours to edit this since I'm uploading it from my phone, so please inform me if I made any grave mistakes) :)

... That was a long note, but the chapter was just as long, so.. Sorry? :D

Have a nice day, everyone! I hope life's treating you well.

Chapter 4: There's a part of me still lost out there

Summary:

Hologram - Crown the Empire

Relations change in never guessed ways, while the past comes haunting and the future's unsure.

Notes:

Sorry it took so long for me to update! Life caught up to me, but now the new chapter is finished :D

I wanted to say thank you for all of your kind words again, they seriously make my day!

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

When Todoroki hung up the phone, he stared at it for a little while. He put a hand on his heart, realizing how fast it was beating.

"What did Yaoyorozu say?" Midoriya asked him from his bed.

The black and blue eyed teen did not look at the person on his left. He blinked smiling before he frowned.

"…A lot," is all he said while staring at his phone.

He didn't want to tell any of his friends in this room about their conversation. Mainly because it was also a little about them.

What was wrong with his heart? Why wouldn't it stop?

Midoriya and Iida exchanged knowing looks, quietly deciding they'd leave it at that.

He still didn't know why his heart was beating this profusely. Why he felt the sudden need to tell her the truth about their encounter with the hero killer – even though he knew they were never ever allowed to tell anyone what had happened or they'd have to suffer the consequences.

Shouto did well in remembering that as he almost fought the chief of police. In his own hospital room. Yet it was his own fault for first letting them believe they were in trouble for their behavior when he was about to let them go. Had he said that first Shouto would've listened mostly calm. (And probably wouldn't have called him a mangy mutt, but well)

Still, when Yaoyorozu asked him what happened, he felt the urge to tell her. He didn't know how that came about or why he couldn't even recall what they really talked about after all. It was like a blackout that left him breathless and staring at his phone while smiling. Why did he even thank her? What for?

Shouto wasn't completely sure of the concrete reason he thanked her.

One of them must've been the realization that Midoriya was indeed a friend of his.

How he came to that conclusion?

Well, after their talk in front of school Shouto had objectively observed his interactions with the green haired hero-in-training.

Had Midoriya supported him during his match with Bakugo? Check.

Did he feel like he could tell him anything? Well, mostly.

If he felt comfortable around him? Okay, not completely, but Shouto didn't feel that comfortable around anyone either way, except maybe his mom, so he'd call that a check.

Did he cry in front of him anyway? Hell yeah.

Yes, that had to be enough for now. Enough checks to entitle him a friend in his mind. Yet he wouldn't dare ask him what he thought about that.

If he didn't ask, he couldn't be rejected after all, right?

… Who cares about social etiquette?

It even went so far that he would consider Iida his friend, which should be obvious considering he told him about the arranged marriage. It was the same with Midoriya at the sports festival. He talked without thinking about his words and put his struggles on other people's shoulders.

Sometimes he wondered if he was an idiot.

The next day, all three of them were discharged from the hospital. Midoriya and Iida were both picked up by their mothers.

"Will you be okay? Should we wait with you?" Midoriya asked when Shouto was still standing alone in front of the hospital.

"It's fine," he replied while shaking his head. Looking at his phone he realized Endeavor had sent him another message.

'I'll pick you up,' it said. Shouto almost thought he couldn't get more annoyed. His dipshit of a father never did something to benefit him, which told him there would be either another 'talk' about his future or some 'motivational' speech which he both didn't need at all.

Midoriya eyed him again, taking in his everything but happy look. He didn't feel so good with leaving him alone, but that's what he wanted.

"Alright," he sighed before waving at him again and then joining his mother. He quickly opened the car door and took a seat next to her.

Shouto looked bored when he saw his father's car pull up next to him. Well, it's not like Endeavor ever drove himself – A driver was seated in the front, a toned glass separating the backseat of the black Audi. His father opened his window and made a motion for him to get in. Rolling his eyes, he walked around the car, opening the door and letting himself fall on the backseat.

"Where to?" the driver asked, having opened the small window between front and backseat.

"The Todoroki residence," Endeavor replied with his arms crossed. All bulky figure, dressed in dark clothes and without his flames on.

How long it would stay like this? Probably not long. He looked kind of…happy? Now Shouto was annoyed and confused. Perfect.

"Yes, sir," the driver replied before the window closed again.

Nevertheless, Shouto took place next to him, mimicking his posture.

"Even if that police dog told you not to say anything, you did well. I heard you used your flames effectively," Endeavor started and Shouto looked at him as deadpan as ever.

"If you practice a little more you'll be able to surpass All Might's power before even graduating," Endeavor said smirking. Of course everything always ended up there. It's always about surpassing All Might, no matter what he did. Right, it's never about him as a person.

He should know that by now. He really should. But why did it still hurt every time? Shouto didn't reply while trying to ignore the burning in his chest.

The drive home wasn't in comfortable silence – But at least it was silent for now. It was sometime when they left Hosu that Shouto received a text message from Midoriya.

'Did he pick you up?' it said. It was obvious his green haired friend was talking about Endeavor. He was also the only one who really knew what happened in his home.

How Shouto grew up in isolation, born out of a selfish reason to serve as a tool for a broken man.

'Yeah' he replied quickly.

"Who are you texting?" Enji asked and Shouto looked at him annoyed.

"A friend," he said unaffected.

"You made friends?" his old man started, "Great. Connections are important to become number one."

Yeah, sure, Shouto thought, that's what you tell your son that made his first friend in high school. Obviously. What did he even expect?

Wait, no, he didn't expect anything and wasn't even surprised about that.

Enji ignored the look that he received.

"But don't let them get in the way of your training. You need to get stronger."

Shouto thought about what the hero killer told him. That he relied on his Quirk too much.

It was true. All he knew was how to use his Quirk. Even if he strengthened that more, it wouldn't help him in situations in which he couldn't use his Quirk.

He should really practice hand to hand combat again. Or learn to really apply it instead of just getting thrown around in tough situations.

Huh, friends getting in the way of his training? That was funny. It's not like he wanted to be a hero of his own accord. Shouto already said he wouldn't let anything hold him back and friends were supposed to support one as well.

He knew neither of them would try to to limit his potential. They wouldn't try to lock him in a little cage, in his own life, like his father had done from the start.

"I think it's time for you to learn to use both of your Quirks at the same time."

Ah, so that's what he wanted. To go back to that training room that almost seemed more like home to Shouto than his own childhood bedroom.

At Endeavor's agency they used a gym that was built to withstand huge temperature fluctuations, other than the one they had at home.

That made learning perfect control something inevitable, since they could accidentally burn down the house in the blink of an eye.

Now that he was over supressing his flames, his father could actually start training his dual-Quirk.

He hadn't lied to Yaoyorozu – He had learnt how to use his flame side. How to actually control the heat and amount of flame produced.

And he had mastered it in five days because it was almost the same as his ice. Only did the flames concentrate on his skin while his ice usually caught on the environment first.

It still felt similar to control once Endeavor had told him that he had to step off the gas pedal to get control over it since it was fire after all.

You could control a candle flame, but a forest fire? Nice try.

That's exactly how he let the air in his fight with Midoriya explode.

When he heated the air, it expanded extremely fast. The results were usually as destructive as other explosions.

If he was able to use both of his Quirks at the same time with full control, he'd only have advantages.

He could regulate his core temperature while using both sides. Of course his body withstood both really high and really low temperatures as well, yet his core temperature wasn't supposed to stray from normal too far. He wasn't completely sure what the exact temperatures were. When he used his ice too much, he got frostbite. But what was going to happen when he used his fire that much? He wasn't sure since it hasn't happened before. Was he going to burn? That would be ironic.

"Yeah," Shouto replied. Endeavor looked at him from above as he was even taller than the younger one while they were sitting.

The older was frowning.

"No snarky comment?" he then asked. The red and white haired teen looked at his phone again to distract himself. He had to stay calm. He would not give him the pleasure of telling him he indeed needed a little help from someone who had a little idea of how his Quirks worked.

Absolutely not.

"No," he replied while he read Midoriya's new message.

'You okay?' it said.

Shouto realized again and again that his friend meant well, yet he was always sticking in nose in matters that shouldn't concern him. He always did. That's what saved Shouto from himself after all and he was thankful for that, even though he didn't know how to express that to him other than that awkward "Thank you, Midoriya," he had said while using his flames without brakes and destroyed the whole arena with him. Not really the best situation to show gratitude.

Still, since Midoriya felt guilty about what happened with Iida and the hero killer it got even worse. The green haired hero in training was always worried about everyone and himself as well. He tended to mumble and overthink matters anyway, so that only made everything worse.

He quickly replied.

'I'm fine' and after realizing that may have been a little short he added 'Thanks for asking' even if he wasn't sure if he was thankful.

It was like Yaoyorozu said. Sometimes you just had to tell some things to someone else.

Oh, he had no idea if he wanted to bother people with his issues or questions. He'd already bothered Yaoyorozu before and she didn't seem to hate him yet.

She was smart and popular and seemed to be so… happy with her life. He admired her for her strong wits, her strategic thinking, social skills and so many more.

She was a really good listener, he thought. It's not like he'd ever ask anyone else about stuff like fate or friends or love or whatever. He knew she wouldn't judge him. Midoriya was always one feet away from pitying him, but Yaoyorozu knew what to say.

She always did.

If he'd be able to ask her about relationships and arranged marriages?

Shouto knew he'd ask his mother tomorrow when he went to the hospital, but he couldn't be sure she'd be able to answer. She might get sad again.

And Shouto did not want to see his mother sad again. Never again.

The rest of the car ride was spent in uncomfortable silence, with Shouto texting Midoriya, who had just opened up a new group chat with Iida, Uraraka, Todoroki and himself, while Endeavor took out a folder to go through paperwork. It probably belonged to a new case.

They did not talk.

The father didn't force his son to do anything for the first time in a long while, who in regard wasn't as bad tempered as he usually was.

They'd never been that calm while sitting next to each other.

Training with his father had always been exhausting but today Shouto could swear he couldn't even feel any more temperature differences. He could probably put his hands in boiling water without even feeling how his flesh melted.

That's what he realized when he hopped into the shower.

He had already peeled of the sweaty and disgusting training clothes before turning on the water and noticing he didn't really feel any differences. That's what he had thought for a few seconds before he realized that his ice felt like it was burning and his fire side freezing while his torso seemed to be okay.

It was easy to train today. Endeavor wasn't as caught up on pressing him forwards. Probably because he was happy enough Shouto finally used his flames. In fact, training had never been this easy on his mind as today. His body was used to fighting so adding new skills wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. He was actually pretty good at controlling ice and fire at the same time. If he didn't move. Once he even made a step forward one side would quit, while the other got stronger. But he made progress today.

Shouto was carefully washing his hair when he realized how sore his muscles were. Right, three days of no moving at all while staying at the hospital made everything worse now. Tomorrow was going to be hell. If he could fake a cough to stay home? He sighed, knowing that wouldn't work since he hasn't really been ill since elementary school. Being fine with almost all temperatures helped his immune system block out almost every usual sickness children got.

So he had to go to school after all.

He was so tired. He was always tired. Really, he could fall asleep in almost every situation.

Slowly he put his hands on the cold tiles, shivering at the contact to his oversensitive hands. He didn't move while he let the warm water rain down on him. His eyes were closed so he wouldn't get soap in his eyes.

Shouto hadn't looked at the time when they'd finished training, but he guessed it was sometime after midnight as his father did not believe in a teenager's need of sleep. Well, he'd love to say he was used to this but he was too tired to argue with or lie to himself.

He wasn't sure how long he stayed like this, but he reluctantly pushed off the tiles to step out of the shower and dry off.

Once he'd changed into fresh pajamas and starting drying his hair with a towel he realized his phone was blinking with a new message.

When he looked at the time he sighed when he realized it was already half past two.

'Did you get released from the hospital?' he saw a message from Yaoyorozu, sent at 7:42pm. But then he scrolled down and realized there was another one.

'Are you well enough to come to school tomorrow?'

Shouto knew he wasn't exactly ill, but to say he was well wouldn't be truthful either. What was he supposed to tell her? He draped the towel over his hair as he replied.

It wasn't exactly an answer to her question of his wellbeing, but still an answer nonetheless.

'I'll be there.'

When Shouto entered the classroom the next morning, even more tired and hurting than he thought, all he wanted to do was sit down in his place in the back of the class to rest. He wouldn't fall asleep during the lessons, but he'd still cherish not having to move. That was his really simple plan.

But he was interrupted by Yaoyorozu, who told the girls she was talking to she'd be right back, while she walked up to him and he tiredly sat down. Why was it so difficult to keep his eyes open?

"Todoroki, why were you awake at 2:39 on a school day? Is everything okay?", she asked quietly and he could see the concern in her face.

What should he do? He was bad liar. He couldn't just say he woke up sometime during the night.

"…I was training and forgot the time," he answered instead. That would have to suffice. It wasn't a complete lie, even if it wasn't the truth either. He blinked a few times to wake himself up again, which didn't really work.

"Training? In the night? After you just got released from the hospital?" she asked but he just blinked as a reply.

"Be careful, okay? You need to take care of yourself if you want to become a hero," she said.

He nodded quietly. Why was she even concerned about him? And why was his face getting this warm? Maybe he'd really gotten sick?

She sighed and he raised an eyebrow. Yaoyorozu Momo sighed? Did he make her so exasperated she actually let go of her manners? Half smirking he looked at her and realized she started blushing. What did that mean?

"Sorry," he said, not having any idea what else to say.

Her cheeks went even more red.

"It's fine. Just get enough sleep, please?" she answered while turning around quickly and walking up to Jirou, who was smirking at her.

Shouto didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he couldn't do anything about them speaking so loud he could hear them. "I'm the vice class-representative, I need to care for my classmates!" she said while covering her cheeks with her hands. "Yeah, right," Kyouka replied, smirk getting even wider.

Shouto would've observed them for a while longer, but Midoriya and Iida walked up to him.

Their classmates started to ask about their encounter with the hero killer. And Shouto had to lie again. He didn't like lying. He knew too many liars. Okay, maybe just one, but that was the only one he knew for a really long time.

"Hey, what are you doing Saturday in two weeks? You didn't reply in the group chat," Midoriya asked him smiling. Oh, right. He had forgotten about that one. He'd read about them planning a sleepover and so on at Midoriya's place. Still he hadn't read the rest of the conversation, so he had no idea what they actually planned after all. What he did Saturdays? Probably train.

"Why?" he asked interested.

"We're planning on having a study group for the written finals next month," he replied.

Shouto wasn't someone who studied a lot. Sure, he was the fifth best during midterms, but most of his knowledge came from listening during lessons. He only needed intense studying in few instances.

He kind of wanted to hang out with friends. But he was still reluctant about this whole thing.

"I don't know yet," he said, "Can I tell you spontaneously?"

"Sure!" Midoriya replied before he smiled at Iida, who nodded smiling at the half and half boy.

All they thought about is how relieved they were that it wasn't a complete no.

Shouto rubbed his eyes again before everyone went back to their places as Aizawa entered the room.

Friends, Shouto thought, was a difficult word, even though Yaoyorozu had explained it to him.

The rest of the school day passed by in a flash, so now Shouto was getting ready to visit his mother. He put his school uniforms blazer on, and threw his bag over his shoulder.

Just when he was about to leave the classroom, like everyone else, he saw a familiar black ponytail sitting back down after saying goodbye to everyone leaving. What was he supposed to do? Unsure he walked to the back of the classroom to her desk.

"…Are you staying late to study?" he asked while putting his bag down again and sitting in his own seat. He knew he should probably get going if he wanted to meet his mother today, but a few minutes should be okay, right?

"Yes," she replied blushing, while taking out her chemistry book and writing utensils. "The finals are soon and I need to be prepared," she said and her smile disappeared. Why would she have to study for finals? She was smart, she'd be able to do that in a few days at most. And they didn't even write an exam in chemistry. What was she studying then? Maybe for the practical exam? He knew she needed to know the molecular bases of the materials she produced, so maybe she's studying that?

She was admirable for already thinking about things he didn't even care about.

Her Quirk required her to study so she could use it. She needed to be smart and remember every little atom so she could use her power.

In comparison, he only needed to train physical powers, which was exhausting, of course, but studying all day long? Shouto knew he wouldn't be able to do that.

Concentrating on her book, she took notes, not even registering he was still there. He traced her features. Her perky nose, the pale skin which contrasted even more with her raven hair. It was shining in the afternoon sun and when a few stray hairs fell out of her ponytail, his hand instantly twitched upwards. Luckily she reacted even faster and put them behind her ear, so he quickly put his hand down again, hoping she hadn't noticed it.

What was he doing?

He was so weird.

His heart was starting to beat faster. His face was getting warm as well.

Yeah, he was definitely getting sick.

"Don't stay too long," he said while getting up again, realizing that his muscles were still sore and she looked at him again, surprised and smiling.

"I won't, thank you for your concern. You don't stay up too late," she replied, indirectly lecturing him for texting her at half past two in the morning.

"Yeah," he replied and put his hands in his pants' pockets before going his way, slightly smiling when he had his back turned to her.

"See you tomorrow," she said and he quickly got rid of the smile to nod at her, before he went out of the classroom and on his way.

"Mom, how are you?" Shouto asked carefully.

It hadn't even taken him half an hour to reach the hospital. He quickly registered at the front desk before taking the elevator to the third floor. When he entered the room, his mother was already waiting with a bright smile while she was standing in the kitchen, pouring water into cups to make tea.

For a second Shouto paused when he saw his mother with the kettle in hand, but she understood and put the kettle back onto the stove, which she turned off before she took the two cups, teabags already inside to put them on her desk, before she walked over to him.

"I'm sorry, Shouto," she replied sadly and he could already see the tears that started to form in her eyes again.

"It's okay. I was just…" he couldn't explain why he hesitated. He knew she wouldn't do that again. Not realizing what he was doing, he put a hand on his left eye. Rei started chewing on her lower lip. She should've known that seeing her with a kettle in hand wouldn't be okay.

"I'm so sor-" she started again, but her son interrupted her while shaking his head and taking the hand away.

"Don't be. It's okay. I've forgiven you," he said, gently putting his hands on her shoulders and looking her directly in the dark grey eyes that mirrored one of his own, "It just caught me off guard. I swear it's okay."

And it really was. He wasn't angry at her. Didn't fear that she'd do it again. The image just surprised him and made memories resurface he thought he'd buried the last time he'd visited her.

His mother took a shaky breath before she nodded and took one of his hands from her shoulder to lead him over to the visitors chair again and handing him his cup of tea while she took place on her bed.

"How was school? How was the field training?" she asked questioningly.

"Fine," he answered while nodding, yet not looking at her. How was he supposed to say it? Would she get angry? Or sad? He decided he'd ask the other things first. She furrowed her eyebrows at the short answer.

"Mom?" he started and looked up to her again.

"What's wrong?" she quickly asked. He smiled at her senses. A mother always seemed to know when something wasn't right.

"Do you know what love is?" he asked, so quietly she had to lean a little closer to hear him.

She smiled at him.

"I don't think anyone knows that exactly, but…," she started, "…even if you won't believe me, there was a time I deeply loved your father as well."

"…You… did?"

"I could've rejected him if I wanted to. My parents weren't mean. He wasn't…bad from the start. It was only after Fuyumi and Touya were born that he…" she looked away and Shouto nodded to which she smiled again, knowing she wouldn't have to end the sentence.

She…Didn't hate him from the start? He looked at the floor again.

"Shouto, I'm sorry if I'm stepping to close – But I am your mother and I need to meddle if I think something's wrong," she said surely and he blinked a few times before looking her straight in the eyes again.

He should say it, shouldn't he?

"He arranged a marriage for me," he said slowly and took in his mother's shocked expression before his dam broke and he started to tell her everything.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do. The wedding is next year and I don't even know the girl. What if she doesn't like me? I don't know how to treat her. I don't think I can fall in love, I don't even know what it is. What if she thinks I'm ugly? I don't look normal at all, with all of those features randomly put together. What if she hates me-" he started and interrupted himself as he could feel the stinging in his eyes again.

"Shouto."

He saw how confident his mother looked and he would remember that for many years to come.

"Hm?" he said shakily and she sighed before she shook her head and motioned for him to get closer. Taking place next to her, he put the cup on the windowsill.

When he was seated and looked at her, he could see her looking him over, before she put her hands on the sides of his face to keep him from looking away.

"You are not ugly," she started while gently stroking her thumbs over his cheeks. She didn't hesitate on his right side. She didn't hesitate on his scar.

"I didn't know your father went through with the deal, even though I should've known he would."

"It's not your fault-" he tried to say but choked on his own words, as his mother interrupted him again.

"I should've stopped him. I wish I'd been stronger back then. Then I wouldn't have snapped. And I wouldn't have hurt you. I wouldn't have left you alone with him. I don't know what you went through, living with your father all those years. He probably didn't even allow you to see your siblings, did he?" she was shaking her head, "But I can't change any of that now. I can't tell you to stay strong, when I myself never was."

She took a deep breath while he stayed silent.

"Never…Never think of yourself as ugly. You are a wonderful child. I regret telling you that a part of you wasn't because it isn't true. I said it because I was going crazy, because life was terrible at that moment. You should've never heard. Those were only meaningless words of your crazy mother." Her right hand gently went up into his bright red hair, which she gently ran her fingers through.

"You don't look completely normal, yes. Because you are unique. You are you and no one else and you won't ever become your father."

Shouto swore himself he'd never embarrassingly cry in front of his mother again…But, well.

A single sob escaped his lips before he pressed them together tightly.

How did she know? How did she know just what to tell him when he was feeling down? When he wasn't alright? Just how did she know what bothered him?

She started smiling at him again.

"I hope I can correct the wrongs I've done to you. I love every part of you. Those fascinating, heterochromatic eyes and how even your eyebrows are different colors. It is as if someone up there put you together piece by piece, every little detail perfectly crafted. Don't think you are two halves because you are one and only one person and everything is how it should be."

He didn't realize the stinging in his eyes had turned into tears before she gently wiped them away.

"Don't think anyone wouldn't fall in love with you. I did the moment I first saw you during the ultrasound when I was only six weeks pregnant," his eyes grew wide. How did she…? He didn't understand. "There isn't much I can tell you about love, but I will say everything I know: Love always comes when you expect it least. It's like a burning in your chest, your heart beats faster and you don't want to get separated from that person ever again," she explained and he nodded carefully. Was that what she thought when she found out she was pregnant with him? Even though his father only considered him another trial for the perfect Quirk? Did she really… love him from the start?

"You will know when it happens," she added before she scolded, "Don't think you won't fall in love. You can't control that."

Shouto pulled a little away and she put her hands down again. He buried his face in his hands, shaking while sobbing into his hands. It took him a while before he calmed down again. He could only think one thing.

"Y-You…" he shakily started, "D-Didn't hate me?"

He would never forget how pained his mother looked the moment he said those words.

"No, I could never hate you," she insured him, "You are my son and even though your father never treated you with love, I will do my best to make sure you'll never forget that I love you. I'm sure your siblings and friends do too."

To that he smiled a little, which must've looked really funny since his mother let out a silent breathy laugh in front of him.

"I made friends, mom," he said before his voice broke again. He just now realized that his mother's cheeks were wet as well. When…did she start crying?

"That's great, Shouto. I wish to meet them one day," she replied while she grinned at him.

He would've never thought he'd ask her what he did next.

"Can I…hug you?"

She didn't reply, but the strong, slightly cold arms around his back were answer enough.

Notes:

Happy times will come, I swear they will. One day.
The fluff will come as slow as the slow burn.

But I guess Todoroki's showing first signs of that 'sickness' he might've caught, don't you think?
What do you think about Rei's resolution to show her boy love?
Or worried Momo?
Or Endeavor being A+ at parenting again?
If anyone wants to speculate about story points or future events, feel free to tell me in the comments. Also if you've seen any forshadowing - I'd love to speculate with you! Tell me what you think :D

Feel free to yell at me on tumblr! Name's seespr!

Chapter 5: You showed me feelings I've never felt before

Summary:

Sinners - Lauren Aquilina

A lost soul wandering in a sea of happiness, unable to comprehend the hand reaching out to it.
When two souls meet in unforeseen situations.

Notes:

Please read the end note! I've got some questions and so on for you :D

But first of all, enjoy the new chapter!
(And sorry for the long wait.)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Todoroki, did you hear that the Ennichi-festival is today?" Uraraka asked him a few weeks later, as summer had already begun.

He hadn't been at the get together, but they still didn't give up on hanging out with him.

It was during lunch, where he'd sat down next to her, Midoriya and Iida again. He ate his typical favorite food, cold soba.

"I heard, are you going?" he replied around his noodles.
"Of course! I'm going with Hagakure and we're still trying to convince Yaomomo!" she said enthusiastically, putting her hands on the table loudly. Shouto blinked, surprised by her gesture, yet he did not stop slurping his noodles.

Yaoyorozu was going as well? He didn't think she'd be that type of person as her parents were pretty much overprotective of their daughter. He knew that much.
He didn't understand how her parents were okay with their daughter becoming a hero but not even allowing her to festivals. It's not like he really knew what happened at festivals – Or what it was like visiting one, as his family was…well, you know.

They never visited one, even if they were pretty traditional Japanese. When he looked over to Yaoyorozu, he saw her sitting with Jirou, Hagakure and Ashido. As if she felt his eyes, she looked up at him and smiled, while he just stared back, before turning his attention back to the brown haired girl sitting in front of him.

"Will you go?" she then asked all three of them, whereas Midoriya shook his head.

"I'm going to train," he explained smiling, Uraraka pouted but nodded.
"It's a Wednesday, and there is school tomorrow. You shouldn't slack off like this. You'll only be tired tomorro-" Iida started his chopping motions and Uraraka interrupted him.
"I see, I see, I guess that's a no."

Uraraka then looked at him again, lips pressed to a fine line before she started smiling.

"And you?" she asked.
"Probably not."
"Why?"
"…Just no."

"That's not a reason!" she then inquired heavily but Shouto blinked at her. He didn't respond.

What was the reason he wasn't going? He wasn't sure. Maybe he just didn't want to be reminded how happy his family could've been if his shitty old man wasn't as shitty as he was.

He didn't want to tell her that, though.

Uraraka was back to pouting, before sighing and accepting that neither of her friends on the table wanted to go to the festival with her.

"Then I'll just go with Hagakure. You don't even know what you'll miss!" she crossed her arms and looked away. It was obvious she wasn't really mad. She just acted like she was.

He won't know what he'll miss? Oh, he was sure he missed a lot of things in his life that other people took for granted.

Maybe he should go?

Maybe he shouldn't?

That's what he contemplated while lying in his room, staring at the white ceiling. He already trained and showered, his still damp hair clinging to his forehead. It wasn't that late yet, still the sun decided to set slowly. It must be about the same time he met Yaoyorozu that day many weeks ago in front of school. Shouto ruffled his hair as he didn't know what to do, only to pat it back down, knowing it would else stay like that.

Still something told him he should go. It was like the urge to thank Yaoyorozu – He didn't understand it but he knew he should listen to it. With new energy he stood up, stretching his already sore muscles – he knew how much worse the muscle ache was going to be tomorrow. Quickly he went to the bathroom, blow-dried his hair as clumsily as ever but it looked the same as always. Straight, kind of parted in the middle. He ruffled his bangs only for them to fall in the exact place they were before. Well, that's how he always looked. Should he wear a Kimono? Or Yukata? He decided that it would only be more embarrassing to run around in traditional clothing if he didn't know anyone. He'd attract enough attention with his weirdly colored hair, his weird heterochromatic eyes and an ugly burn scar on the left side of his face. Yep, he looked weird.

For a second he thought his future wife was going to be disappointed when she met him.
He paused.
He remembered what his mother said.

He was just...unique? Just what did she see that he obviously missed?

Shaking his head off the thought he put on a simple pair of jeans with a white shirt, grabbed his bag and went downstairs.

"Where are you going?" his sister asked as she saw him on his way outside.
"…Ennichi," he replied deadpan as ever while looking at her over his shoulder. She looked him over critically, her arms crossed, before realizing his intentions.
"Homework?" she asked. It was typical his sister would ask that given she's a teacher.
"Done."
She looked him over again to see if he was lying but decided to believe him.
"Alright," she said while nodding. He half smiled at her while putting on his shoes.
"Under one condition: Be home by ten. There's school tomorrow," she added with a finger pointing at him.
"Okay," he replied and smiled at her, before leaving the house.
He did not see how baffled his sister was before she started smiling as well, happy to see her little brother smile again.

Since it had been years.

Only a few minutes later he arrived at the festival scene. The huge red archway signaling the entry to the Musutafu shrine. The low lighting of lanterns enveloped the shrine in a soft warm glow. The main passage was crowded by food stalls right and left. At the end of the passage he could only dimly see the actual, traditional Shinto shrine with its paper walls which he knew from home.

Many people were already inside and he could see how the families stuck together, other's wearing matching Yukatas. People gathering in groups, laughing together while enjoying their food. The food stalls, with people trying to talk to the ones passing by, were doing their best to sell.
He realized how happy everyone looked. Especially one family, the father carrying his daughter on his back, while the son walked in between him and the mother, all of them holding hands. It looked to carefree, so easy, so loving. Shouto's heart was stinging again.

He looked to the floor for a while, taking deep breaths to calm himself. When he looked around himself, he only saw one person that didn't look like she was having the best time of her life. She was staring at the ground, mumbling like Midoriya usually does.

She was wearing her hair in her usual trademark ponytail while wearing a Yukata.

Shouto couldn't help but think to himself that she was beautiful.

He quickly breathed out, letting go of that thought.

Slowly he approached her, so he wouldn't startle her. As he got closer, he realized that she was mumbling all kind of justification about her being here. So he'd guessed right. Her parents didn't want her here.
"Yaoyorozu," he said. Her head snapped up to him.

"T-Todoroki?" she asked while looking at him, obviously surprised. She was stuttering and fiddling with her hands at the Yukata's belt, trying not to look at him.

"W-Why are you here?" she then added, looking kind of guilty.

"Why are you asking? Am I not supposed to be here?" he asked in response, looking her straight in the eyes as she looked up at him again. She was obviously nervous. Did she fear he would tell someone who'd tell her parents?

"That's not what I meant!" she quickly corrected herself, shaking her head in rhythm with her hands to support her statement.

He took in her form again, now that he was up close. She was blushing profusely as she was trying to justify her statement, her dark eyes wandering from his face to the ground and back a few times. With the soft golden glow which was behind him reflecting in them, they reminded him of onyx crystals. He knew his sister had a bracelet made of those…and he might have dropped it once, which resulted in a lesson about minerals when he was just five years old.
The dark blue Yukata she was wearing was accented with little red flowers, which gradually became bigger on the sleeves and skirt.

He couldn't stop himself.

"It suits you," he said and she instantly became quiet, looking him right in the stone and teal eyes.

"Eh?" she asked confused.

"The Yukata, it suits you," he explained with his unaffected voice, even though he did react on the inside. Why did he say that? That was embarrassing. But it was the truth. She looked incredible in traditional clothing.

"Uhm-" she started, but interrupted herself again as she looked away for a second to start anew. "Thank you very much," she said while her cheeks were dusted in a light pink.

To that, she seemed to be lost in thought, looking at the festival behind him before looking at the ground again, her lips in a tight line.

He tried to understand her but lost completely. He had no idea. She was thinking too much. Just like in her battle with Tokoyami, she just thought about doing things instead of actually doing them.

"What's wrong?" he asked, thinking about what would get her mind off of whatever she was thinking.

"Let's go," Shouto asked, thinking it would be best to just distract her from her thoughts. When she was coaxed to act, she wouldn't be able to over think.

"Let's go? But where to?" was her confused answer. Did she really forget they were standing in front of the festival entrance? He smirked a little.

"It's obvious," he said while already turning around. He could hear her following his steps. "We're going to the festival," he explained over his shoulder while looking at her. "Or are you just going to wander around and try to hide?"

When he said that, she stopped in her tracks.

Maybe she was contemplating what her parents would say to her joining a crowded festival.

"Todoroki and me? The two of us together?" she asked and reveled in her thoughts again. He decided it would be best to wait until she was finished. He observed how she frowned, how that frown turned into a smile before she looked up at him, a new glow in her eyes. She looked determined.

"In that case," she started while beaming at him with a bright grin, "please escort me if you don't mind." He chuckled internally at her choice of words, yet he had to hell her the truth.

"Don't rely on me too much, I don't know a lot about festivals," he explained but he couldn't deny that her acceptance of his invitation lifted a little weight off his shoulders.

Shouto never realized how fascinating it was to watch someone else get excited over all the little things. They were just wandering around the festival, but every little detail had to be inspected by her.

"What is that?" she asked as she took the lead to run to the next food stall which sold Taiyaki on little wooden sticks. He had to put a hand over his chest as he watched her get excited. This warm feeling was back. The one that made his heart beat faster, made him feel all fluttery even though he was sure he didn't eat anything bad. He watched her inspect the food with bright eyes, when she looked at him smiling. Letting go of a breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding, he walked up to her form while nodding. Her smile turned even wider when she turned around and took out her purse. She was talking to the salesperson and he could see her holding up two fingers, so he knew she ordered one for him as well. When he reached her she already handed him one while fishing for money in her purse.

"I'll pay," she said when he wanted to say something but the saleswoman, an old lady with grey, traditionally decorated hair was shaking her head.

"It's fine. It's late and we made enough profit for today," she said smiling with her eyes closed. Shouto did not really understand the gesture but Yaoyorozu was already bowing deeply.

"Thank you very much!" she said before getting up again and smiling first at the woman, then at Shouto again while taking her own food and starting to walk on.

"Keep her close, young man," the woman then said and Shouto looked at her, obviously confused.

"I know this look on your faces," she reasoned but he couldn't really understand what she meant.

Before he got the chance to ask, someone took his right hand and quickly pulled him with them. For a second we felt the need to pull back, but he quickly recognized it was Yaoyorozu, so he joined her in quickly walking around the festival. When they reached the edge of the festival, a big grassfield with a view over the city, she quickly let go of his hand and Shouto stared at it for a little while.

Usually he always pushed people away if they wanted to touch him.

Why had his reflexes turned off around her?

It's not that he liked it...Was it?

He just had to admit that he didn't hate it.

Her hand had been warm and now this warmth was gone.

She was blushing and fiddling with her fingers.

They stayed silent while they slowly walked on. He could hear her quietly muttering something about having to hide quickly. In quiet they ate their festival food, before he broke the silence.

"Yaoyorozu, what are you mumbling about?" he asked her while looking at her face.

"No, it's nothing! Don't mind me," she said defensively.

"Whatever you say," he replied. So she didn't want to talk about it.

Both of them just kept walking along the edge of the festival territory in silence. It was already really dark and from their location they could watch the crowd in the light a few feet away from them without acting as a part of the crowd. It was a little darker where they walked, but the moon lit up the night a little. It reminded him a lot of their encounter in front of school weeks ago. He thought about how much their interactions had changed from back then. How much he had changed just because she gave him the chance to maybe become a friend of hers. It felt easy to talk to her. To ask her about things he didn't really understand.

"Can I ask you a question?" she asked while looking at her feet. He put his hands in his pants' pockets while answering.

"Sure, go ahead."

She was looking up to his face again, the soft golden lights behind her shadowing her facial expression but still letting her glow.

"Do you like the Ennichi festival?"

The question made him stop in his tracks. If he…liked the festival? She stopped a step later and turned around to him. He could now see her face again as the light came from the side.

"Honestly," he admitted, "I neither like it nor dislike it."

"Then…What are you doing here?" she asked wondering, holding her hands in front of her body.

Shouto was looking at the ground now as the words just tumbled out of his mouth.

"I thought I should try coming once, as I've never been before. To Ennichi…Or any other festival that happened before."

She made a surprised sound but he refused to look at her.

"Normally, you do things like this with your family," he looked at the festival in front of them, observing the groups, the families, "By the looks of it, all of the families are enjoying themselves."

He swallowed, before he quietly chuckled.

"Obviously. It's the normal thing to do," he said while shaking his head. But his family wasn't normal. Nothing about the Todoroki's was normal.

He was still trying to avoid eye contact with the girl in front of him.

Taking a deep breath, he looked at the sky. Looked at the various constellations which didn't make a lot of sense to him, yet all of those little stars let him wish for things he knew he'd never receive.

"But…I…" he started, yet he didn't know how to end the sentence.

But I…
I've never connected joy to family or knew what a loving family looked like.

I've never known love at all.
All I knew was pain, obligation and isolation.

He didn't dare say any of those.

"Todoroki…" Yaoyorozu said quietly and he looked back at her. Where he awaited pity in her dark eyes, which still shined golden due to the lighting, there was only a sense of understanding.

"Hm…" he huffed, "I'm sorry." Shaking off the feeling of dread, his broken family and his lingering emotions which he'd always tried his best not to show.

"What am I doing…" he wondered, looking away from her again, letting his eyes wander over the lights of the city beyond them, "…telling this to someone else?"

Why was he always starting to tell everyone his terrible life story when they obviously weren't going to care? He shouldn't have said anything, yet he couldn't describe the feeling of getting it off his chest. It was like his story was a heavy stone, somewhere in his chest and when he talked to anyone about it, slowly it would lift and make things easier. He didn't know this feeling. It was weird.

"I'm going home," he suddenly said. He wasn't sure why, but he needed to get out of here.
His mind was like a dam about to break and spill everything that was inside.

"See you later," while saying it he realized her surprised and confused expression, yet he started to walk away, back in direction of the entrance, "…Yaoyorozu."

"Todoroki," she said quietly.

At this exact moment, a loud explosion like sound echoed from beyond them and he stopped, looking at the fireworks. Little sparks of golden, orange and red tones lit up the sky and he could only watch in awe, all thought of leaving being forgotten.

He could hear the surprised sound she made at the start, while he could only whisper a quiet "Fireworks…" while staring at the sky.

"Isn't it beautiful?" she asked, loud enough for him to hear. Luckily he hadn't gotten further away before it started. He looked at her again.

Shouto nodded while quietly agreeing with her.

He just stared at her onyx eyes and he could've sworn the colors of the sky reflected in her eyes.

"But I'm not someone else," she said earnestly while slowly turning her head towards him.

His chest constricted at her words again. He blinked at her before he nodded again. That was right, she wasn't someone else. When she looked at him directly, she started smiling again.

"I am a classmate, a friend of yours from the hero course," she explained smiling, "All of us are."

A friend?

"Is that so?" he asked while she looked at the sky again. Yet he couldn't stop looking at her.

A friend.

She'd already explained the meaning of a friend to him.

Someone you could tell anything to. Someone you felt comfortable around. Did she feel like this around him?
He didn't think it made sense. She'd defined the meaning of friend, so that meant those things included when she called herself one of his.

Why couldn't he understand this warm but yet hurting feeling in his chest?
She now quietly observed the fireworks, which he couldn't bother to look at again…

…since she seemed so much prettier.

What was wrong with him?

Was that friendship?

In his mind he went back to the snowfield.
He was stumbling, falling in his father's footsteps. He tried to keep up, tried to search for a way out of the path that was already formed.

But whenever he looked over the edge, he could only see the storm.

Yet in this moment, when Yaoyorozu said those small yet so big words, everything came to a halt.

The storm had stopped.

And at the edge of the path he could see a hand reaching for him.

Yaoyorozu then turned to him again, and she was beaming at him with her brightest smile.

Was having friends always like this? Did they always make one feel fuzzy and warm inside? If he'd known that he would have made friends way, way earlier. It was like he could forget about everything that was on his mind.

Yaoyorozu let him forget all about the engagement, about the uncertainty of his future and the fact that he felt so out of place in this place full of happiness.

Did friends always make you feel this happy?

If they did, he'd gladly, from the depths of his heart, accept their friendship.

In that moment, while he watched Yaoyorozu look up at the sky, he couldn't help but feel that maybe it was fate he met her that evening in front of school.

He knew he was a mess and he didn't understand how anyone would ever like him at all, but he couldn't help but smile.

Thank you, Yaoyorozu, he thought while wiping away the single tear she would never realize he let go, for showing me I'm not alone anymore.

While they were walking back to the entrance, Momo found the silence between them wonderfully peaceful. She was sure her words had a positive effect on him as he didn't rush to leave anymore, which told her he wasn't trying to run away anymore. She softly smiled while looking him over out of the corner of her eye.

"I'm happy we met here," she said smiling when they were outside the shrine. It was already really late and many people had left already as they still had to work or go to school tomorrow. They stopped and looked at the street in front of them.

He nodded with something she would already consider a slight smile.

"How will you get home?" he asked her as she pulled her phone from her pocket.

"Right, my mother shouldn't find out about this. But it's already so late, she'll surely know," she realized as she stared at her driver's phone number.

"Should I bring you home? It's not that late, there surely are some busses that still run," he suggests while she chews on her lower lip, trying to come up with a solution. At his suggestion she smiles.

"That's nice from you. But wouldn't it be an inconvenience for you? You need to get home as well," she reasons.
He looks at her, as deadpan as ever.

"It's fine," he said as he pulled out his phone, "I'll just tell my sister."

She wasn't sure if she should accept. She didn't like to inconvenience people around her. Especially not him. Not Todoroki, whom she admired a lot.

If she called her driver, her mom would find out she was at the festival. Walking would be way too far and she wasn't used to riding the bus. Something in his eyes told her she shouldn't decline. So she nodded reluctantly, having no alternative anyway. Her mother would already be upset when she came home this late so she could use the chance to spend a little more time with him.

She blinked, wondering how she got to this thought.

He's just a friend, she told herself. It's fine, friends escort each other home all the time, she thought. She had just spent her complete evening with him, so it would definitely be fine for him to bring her home.

Momo didn't realize he'd already called his sister in the meantime.

"Sorry, I'll be home later," he started and then held his phone away from his ear as Momo could hear a woman talking really quickly and really loudly.

"I'm walking a friend home," he said calmly and it suddenly went quiet on the other side, so Todoroki put his phone back to his ear.

"Yeah, that one," he said while looking her right in the eyes and she realized he had told his sister about her. She blushed and wondered what he would've told her.

"I'll be careful, go to sleep. I'll be okay," he said while looking at nothing in particular. "Good night, Fuyumi."

When he hung up, he sighed. Then he nodded at her and Momo smiled again. "Wait, I'll just quickly get changed in the bathroom!" she said, knowing her mother would instantly know where she was if she wore the Yukata home.

They rode the bus in silence. She was sitting at the window, looking outside at the night view of the city, before it turned a little more rural. When she understood it would take another while until they were there, she turned to look at him. He…fell asleep?

His arms were crossed in front of his chest, his head slumped back against the seat and his eyes closed. Momo put her hand in front of her mouth to stifle the giggle, since she didn't want to wake him up.

She then observed his sleeping form, analyzing his ice side, which was the one she could see from where she was sitting. It was so fascinating. He could almost look like completely different people from different sides, yet there was something about how it all played together that made it difficult to imagine one without the other. His skin was pale and looked soft, same as his white hair. She had to stop herself from touching him to find out if his cheeks were as soft as they looked. Still she leaned closer, realizing that even his eyelashes were different colors.

So fascinating.

So beautiful.

Wait.
What?

Beautiful?

Momo was panicky blinking, as she realized she was staring and sat back a little.
Just what was she thinking about? Momo was shaking her head and tried to ignore her earlier thoughts.

She'd already seen him fall asleep on the way to ground Beta so maybe he just generally fell asleep on busses? Or did he take every chance he got to nap?

She looked at the hand that she had held earlier. It had been really cold. Was that because of his Quirk? If so, was his other hand warm? She just wanted to know. How did that affect his core temperature? At the sports festival she had seen him get frostbite, what would happen if he used his fire Quirk too much? While looking at her own hand she realized it was a little tingly when she thought about the brief touch she shared with him. She could feel her cheeks get warm and quickly shook her head to let go of the thoughts.

She looked out of the window again, slowly recognizing the scenery. Ah, they'd have to get off at the next stop.

"Todoroki," she whispered carefully but he didn't react. She poked his shoulder and he shot up blinking before looking at her.

"…Sorry," he said while rubbing his eyes.

"It's fine. You looked tired," she reassured him, "We're almost there."

He nodded quietly.

Momo blushed again when he automatically walked her home from the bus station. She had told him she would be fine but he still wanted to make sure. It was kind of embarrassing, but she also kind of liked that he thought of her. He had a good heart, she was sure of that.

She just realized that she had forgotten all about her feelings of inferiority to him. How was that possible?

"That's where I live," she said as they reached the gate.

He looked around for a little while.

"Alright, good night, Yaoyorozu," he said and was about to turn around, but she stopped him again.

"Thank you for escorting me this evening. I'll see you tomorrow," she said smiling.
He half smiled back as he went on to the bus station.

She waved to him as he was walking away, grinning like an idiot.
Just when she thought he wouldn't notice, he turned around again and when he realized that she was waving…

He smiled at her, almost unseen in the dim streetlights.

But she saw - and she'd engrave that image in her mind.

Notes:

And I referenced the Drama-CD!
Even though I changed everything a little to make it fit better - What do you think?

Did the feels only get me, or did they reach you as well?
"Friendship", right? Pour boy is so oblivious.

What did you think of their actual interaction this time? And my beautiful snowfield reference?

Actually, I love foreshadowing - so if there's anything you think might happen based of the things you've read so far, feel free to tell me about it!

Trivia: In an earlier version, Todoroki completely fell for her in the Ennichi scene, but since I moved it front a little it didn't fit anymore, so there's an oblivious version now. (Believe me, the new scene where he falls for her is waaay better)

I've already planned most of this story, but if there are any scenarious you'd love to see, please let me know! I'm open for pretty much everything (I'll at least try to get it into the story :D) I'd love to include some Kamijirou and Izuocha (I already changed the tags for those, but I'm open to everyone else!)

And in case you didn't notice - I changed the chapter titles. It's lines from songs I think fit them pretty nicely. (That was more time consuming than I thought it would be) What do you think? Is it better? :D

Also, next chapter is going to be terrible. It already pains me to write, I'm so excited to hear what you think :D

Have a nice day!

Chapter 6: Every dream was mine to lose

Summary:

Here's to the Heartache - Nothing More

When mistakes of the past catch up to a beautiful soul, a frozen hand may be the one to melt the fear and hurt.

Notes:

Good evening everyone!
I finally finished editing chapter 6 - and here it is! :D

Enjoy the ride - This time painful, as the story progresses (Yes, it does actually progress)
I'll apologize beforehand, I swear there will be less sad times one day. (I cried writing this though, oh god)

If you want to yell at me or generelly want to say anything, feel free to leave a comment, I'm always really happy to receive them!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

There couldn't be something like fate.

Life was nothing but a series of circumstances – all twisted together, without any reason.
People who meet once, twice or more without even recognizing the other when they meet again.

Places that were once called home can feel so distant, just with a few words.

Momo never thought there was a chance this could happen to her. She loved her home, she truly did. She loved her parents and even came to love the maids and nannies that were around her when she grew up. Momo was never a difficult child – she loved studying, she loved being able to create whatever she learned about.

She's never really attended a normal school before, homeschooled before other's even left kindergarten. And even though she wasn't used to so many people her age around her, everything turned out fine when she entered UA. It was difficult to get her parents to accept her wanting to become a hero.

It was too dangerous, her mother said. She had to take over the family business after all, one day. Producing watches had been carried on in their family for over a hundred years, so it would make sense that Momo would take it over once her parents retired.

She had fought for her dream – explaining her resolution, her desire for her Quirk to be useful for the world. It had taken weeks, and weeks had turned into months before they finally gave in and her father had gotten an old friend from high school to recommend her to UA. Her father had never been too opposed to her dream. Well – her mother had married him because he was a smart businessman after all.

Momo had always known of the possibility she'd have to marry someone for rational reasons instead of the usual dating and getting together and falling in love that she always read about secretly at night.

She knew a lot about dating – even though she wasn't too sure about wherever or not the novels were right. But Jirou was really helpful with that.

Not that her friend dated a lot either, just one or two boyfriends in middle school, but it was nice having someone to ask questions to when one doesn't really know about the reality one grew up separated from.

There couldn't be something like fate, since it would mean everything she did still let her end up at this place.

Momo getting married to someone she didn't choose herself…

As she grew up, she seemed to have forgotten about that possibility.

She only remembered it the night she'd come home from Ennichi.

That evening Momo realized fast that she was not the best at sneaking into her own house.

"Yaoyorozu Momo," she heard her mother's voice, "Why are you home this late? Without even calling for Kori. We were worried to death," she said quietly with a really sad undertone. Momo suddenly felt very sorry. She turned around and saw both of her parents, already in their sleepwear, standing at the door to the hall. Or dining room, whatever expression one wanted to use. Her mother was wearing a pink nightgown with fitting blindfold around her neck, her black hair pushed behind her ears, while her father was wearing blue satin pajamas, his equally black hair already ruffled. They must've tried to sleep but couldn't knowing that their daughter wasn't home.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly with a light bow.

Her mother sighed. She didn't look angry at all. Just really tired. She looked at her husband, who nodded at her.

"It's fine, since you're home alright. Just what were you doing?" her father then said and she went over to them.

"I'm so sorry, mom, dad. I…" she started while looking to the ground, "I studied late with a classmate of mine."

When she looked back to her parents she realized they weren't looking at her, but at each other.

"How did you get home?" her mother then asked, pushing her black hair behind her ears.

"He – My classmate escorted me home," she said and could already feel her cheeks getting warm again.

Neither of her parents replied.

Her gaze wandered between them while they were looking at each other again.

Taking a deep breath, her father looked at her with a stern look in his eye.

"Momo, we need to talk to you about something."

"Huh?" Momo asked while blinking, looking to her mother, who sighed deeply, before looking at her father again, who was frowning.
"Is everything alright?" she asked carefully.

Her parents were not going to reprimand her for her behavior?

She had stayed out all day without even telling her parents where she was going.

Why weren't they saying anything?

"I'll make some tea, this could take a while," her mother said and quickly went to the kitchen. The maids obviously already returned home by now – so the house was awfully empty and quiet. Momo swallowed. She was scared now. What did they want to talk about that both of them looked so worried and sad? It couldn't be about today – They'd have to be at least a tiny bit angry for that, but there was not even an ounce of anger in their eyes.

"Let's sit," her father said carefully, moving to the hall and Momo followed slowly, chewing on her lips. Just what was going on? The last time she'd seen her parents this…unhappy had been when she told them she wanted to become a hero.

Was it about that?

Were they trying to take her out of the hero course?

Why suddenly? Did they see how badly she performed at the sports festival?

But they could've said something before the field training!

Her father took place at the head of the big dining table, but not before he pulled out the chair to his right for his daughter to sit in.

They sat in silence until her mother came in, three cups of tea on a tray, which she placed solemnly in the middle of the table, before she put a teacup in front of all family members.

"Thank you," Momo said with a slight bow before holding on to the cup as if her life depended on it. It surely felt like she'd lose all composure if she let go of this cup right now. Her hands were shaking but the hot tea soothed her nerves.

When she looked at her father, she realized how he didn't make eye contact with her. He was holding onto his pajama pants while staring at the tea.

Her mother took the place opposite Momo, gracefully sinking in the wooden chair with dark red padding, putting her arms on the armrests. That's when Momo realized how nervous her mother was as well. She clutched onto the armrest until her knuckles turned white, before she sighed again. She looked at Momo with the eyes that resemble her own so much as she leaned forward and took a sip from the tea.

"Mom? Dad? What's wrong?" Momo asked in a whisper, her voice not giving her enough power to talk calmly.

"We-…No, Momo…" her mother started but she couldn't formulate a full sentence. The teen had never seen her mother stutter before. When she couldn't end the sentence, her mother nervously put her hair behind his ear before sinking back into the seat. Then she took a deep breath.

"Momo, do you remember when we told you about the financial crises our business went through ten years ago?" she then asked slowly, as if she was thinking through every single word.

Momo nodded. But that had nothing to do with her heroism? Was it not about that? What else? Were they in financial crises again? Was the business going to go bankrupt? They would've told her that earlier to ask for her opinion since they still hoped she'd take over the family business one day.

"Yes, that was during the great depression. The stock market in the USA collapsed and that resulted in crises all over the world. Our business was greatly affected and we were only able to keep on producing our watches because of a generous sponsor," she recalled, finding her composure as she was able to indulge in facts.

"That's not the whole story," her father started, still talking to his teacup, not touching it, "we got the money under exactly one condition."

Her mother put her left hand on the table for Momo to hold on to, while her other hand was gently put on her husband's shoulder.

"But before we tell you, I have a question," her mother started, looking her right in the eyes, "The classmate that brought you home today was also the same Kori saw you with after school, right?"

Momo's chest constricted.

Was it about that?

That she was meeting a boy behind their backs?

But no, it didn't have anything to do with a financial crisis.

She nodded shakily.

"Is he your boyfriend?" her mother was biting her lip after asking.

Momo shook her head gently. Todoroki was not her boyfriend. Just a friend, that's what she told herself again. She didn't like him in that way, she swore.

But it was true, he was not her boyfriend.

To that her mother sighed again. This time it was a relieved sigh.

"You know, Momo…" her parents exchanged glances, "We had no other choice. And you'll have the right to reject, but we'll have to deal with the consequences," her mother said sadly.

Now she was confused. What was this about? She took a sip from her tea, realizing that her hands were shaking again. Her mother let go of the hands on the table before getting up and quickly walking around the table to kneel next to her daughter.

She then took both of her daughter's hands and Momo started biting her lower lip nervously again while looking at her mother.

"We are so sorry. We wished it would've taken a little longer, but we can't pay the interest anymore. You know, with the new factory in Poland we had to take a risk…And it's not like it backfired, it's just that the business needs time to recover."

"What is it, mom?" Momo then asked, her shaking getting worse. She just wanted to know. She needed to know.

"You…" she sighed again, "We made that contract shortly after you made your first Martryoshka," Momo's eyes widened. What did her Quirk have to do with the sponsor?

"The condition was that you're going to marry his youngest son when you're twenty."

Her eyes were watering. She was going to cry, she knew she would.

She was…engaged?

To someone she didn't know?

Did she know someone who had that much money at hand?

No, she probably didn't.

So she didn't know him.

She was going to marry someone she didn't even know?

"I-…I am e-engaged?" she then stuttered and could feel her mother wiping away the first tears. Her father stood up as well to stroke her hair gently.

"But," her mother started again and Momo inhaled sharply, "we can't pay the interest at the moment. I know we should be grateful that he gave us that alternative instead of our assets, but our only way out is to move the wedding to an earlier date."

Momo swallowed her tears. She had to be strong. She understood her parents. Surely she was shocked, but they had their reasons.

She could still be a hero, even if she got married.

"When?" she asked firmly, but her heart hurt. She couldn't understand why. It just hurt while all she could think about was red and white. She didn't know why those colors resonated in her mind.

Liar.

"When both of you are sixteen…and he's about the same age as you, a little younger," her mother said sadly.

Momo nodded.

"Are you angry? Please don't be angry. We shouldn't have done that, we know. We're so sorry, little peach."

Her mother threw her arms around her and her father did not stop stroking her hair while she softly let go of the tears. Tears about the freedom she had never cherished being taken away so suddenly. But it was okay. She had never thought about relationships or couples or love anyway, she thought. She didn't even want to date anyone.

Liar.

The tears grew stronger as she wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. She held onto her like she was a rock in the surf. She wouldn't get taken by the tide when she held onto her.

It wouldn't get real like this.

She realized she was slowly breaking down. She could feel how wet her cheeks were and how her father gently wiped them away while keeping up the gentle, rhythmic strokes of her hair.

"I-It's okay," she whispered with her strained voice once she felt herself able to sit up again. She looked first at her father, then at her mother.

It was not okay. But it would be, she hoped.

"I'll accept the offer," she said.

She would do it for her parents. She loved her parents, they wouldn't give her to someone bad. She trusted them.

Yet those colors, red and white and black and blue were embedded in her mind, whatever she did.

She swore she didn't know what they meant. Or who they belonged to.

She was a silly, silly liar.

Her parents had tried their best that night to make sure Momo didn't feel lonely.

But all Momo wanted was silence and calm, so she could sort her feelings out.

Well, after all, she was now officially engaged to their business sponsor's son. Who was younger than her. Momo thought that was irony since boys her age always seemed to act so…childish and she didn't know what she could say to them.

"Mom… " Momo started. It was already very, very late and the raven haired girl knew she should go to sleep now or she wouldn't be able to understand anything that happened tomorrow at school, but she knew she wouldn't sleep well if she went to bed now. As a consequence she was sitting next to her mother on the couch in the reading room next to the library, where an oven was spotted but it wasn't turned on since it was really warm during summer.

Momo was leaning on her mother's shoulder, hair down and in her dark blue pajamas.

"Yes, dear?" her mother replied while she closed the book she was reading.

She wasn't angry at her parents at all – they'd given her the possibility to say no. And she had still accepted. Boys weren't really something Momo had thought about yet and dating even less. It was too early, definitely. But what was she supposed to do? Watch as her parents' business slowly fell apart because of a dumb decision they'd made many years ago?

Momo promised herself she wouldn't cry anymore. This would not get in her way of becoming a heroine. Never.

"Who is it?" she asked the question she had pondered since her parents told her. Her mother looked down at her, gently stroking her hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry, dear, but your father and I decided it would be best if you found out when you met him formally. I heard he doesn't give off the best impression."

Momo sighed. Her mother frowned and she quickly apologized.

"It's okay. But when will I meet him?"

"Your term ends mid-July, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does."

"Please don't be mad but we've already agreed to a gathering at our place after your finals, so you'll have time to get to know each other," she said carefully, before putting her own hair behind her ear and continuing, "We… hope for the best, but if you really can't seem to stand him, we won't force you to sign the papers. Of course we'll have to sign too, so we'll make sure it's okay with you, I promise that."

Momo quickly blinked away the tears.

"Thank you," she whispered, even though she was sure her voice was nothing more than air.

"That's the least we can do."

They sat like that for a while, just relaxing in each other's company, before her mother started speaking again.

"The boy that brought you home today… What is his name?"

Momo darted up a little, blushing profusely. W-Why did her mother want to know that?

"That was…Todoroki Shouto. You've seen the cavalry battle, haven't you? He was the team captain. And took second place."

Momo went on and on, even when she knew her mother had only asked the name.

Her mother looked confused for a second before she started smiling.

"Somehow – and I know you're going to understand those words one day - I think it's going to be fine."

When Momo entered her room that evening, way past midnight, even though she had lectured Todoroki about staying up late, she took fresh pajamas and went to the bathroom.

It was big room, white marble on the floor, and a bathtub in the far right corner, while the shower was on the left and the sink on the wall opposite. All in all, the room was designed in white's and gold's. Walking in front of the big mirror at the sink, she freed her dark hair from its restrictions before she looked at the room in thought. She wondered. How long would she be able to call this place home? Would she have to live with her husband once they got married? But if they were the same age, he's probably still only in school as well. So they wouldn't have any income with which they could afford an apartment. Not that her parents wouldn't pay for that…But Momo had always planned to move out when she was able to make her own living.

There wouldn't be marble floors, no golden embellishments like faucets or the mirror frame she was standing in front of. No underfloor heating or a big bath tub she could stay in for hours.

For a second Momo considered showering, since it would be faster, but she was too tired.

She was almost apathetic. She couldn't process what happened today.

Frowning at her reflection in the mirror, she took of the dark blue shirt and the white skirt she was wearing after changing out of her Yukata at the festival, until she was only wearing her white lace underwear. She pursed her lips before she put her hair back behind her ears and let it fall over her back.

Shakily she inhaled, before she closed her eyes and tried to calm down.

She felt like she missed a point. Something important.

Do you know that feeling when packing your suitcase? Just as you're leaving, you have that feeling you forgot something. That's how she felt right now, but she couldn't point out what it was.

When she opened her eyes again, she let them roam over her figure in the mirror. Black bloodshot eyes stared back at her and she realized how empty they looked. She looked downwards, analyzing her own features. Her pale skin contrasted her hair in stark contrast. Her eyes wandered over her well equipped bosom, the slim waist and her wide hips, down to her curvy legs.

She sighed.

What if he found her ugly? If he thought she was too thick? She had to save lipids so she could use her Quirk properly. When was she going to find out who it was? That uncertainty made her stomach tighten. It was scary. All of it was.

She wasn't even really worth being a hero in training, how could a man think she was worth his love?

If she was just a little better, a little less useless, everything would change.

She shook her head.

Sighing she turned on the water for the bath while she sat on the corner.

There was a time she would've felt stronger the more skin she exposed, as her skin was her weapon.

But now…she just felt vulnerable.

It was so much. Her dream of becoming a hero fell apart with her confidence after the sports festival.

Her dream of finding love fell apart tonight.

What was she even fighting for?

When there was a little water inside, she took off the rest of her clothes before she let herself sink into the a little too hot water, which she didn't even realize as she was too in thought.

She played with a strand of her jet black hair. Even if he didn't find her too chubby, there were so many other things he'd find unattractive. Who wanted a woman without any self-esteem?

Would any man like her for who she was? Not for her body? Talking about the devil… What if it was a man like Mineta?

How was she supposed to spend her life with someone like this?

Oh, she couldn't. She really couldn't.

Her heart started beating rapidly while her breathing became shallow. Deep breaths, she told herself. Hot tears were streaming down her face.

Desperately she tried to calm herself down. With shaking hands she turned off the water.

She didn't know anything about that boy.

Why had she been so dumb? She shouldn't have just agreed. But her mother said she could still take it back if he's too bad.

That was the thought she was clinging to until her heart calmed down.

No matter what she did, she couldn't get all of this out of her mind.

As long as she couldn't become a hero, she was sure she wasn't worth the love and admiration of someone else.

She had to find a way. A way to become a hero even though she wasn't good at fighting.

It was weighing her down every day.

The only thing she could do to save her dream of becoming a hero was to study for the written exams. If she aced those, it wouldn't be as bad when she failed the practicals.

If she found a way to become a hero – she knew she'd be able to look at the man she was supposed to spend her life with confidence.

Maybe she'll be worthy of his love that way.

Momo breathed out shakily. She sank a little deeper into the water that now reached to her collarbones.

The water was warm, and that warmth reminded her of the night she'd ran into Todoroki at school.

He said she was smart.

She wasn't dumb. She was sure she could do the written exams. But practicals? No way. So how could he say she was smart? She was only good at studying.

They had been at Ennichi together today. She had found out a little about him. His family didn't seem to be the happiest – at least that's what it sounded like.

She only came to realize there was a lot he wanted to say…and so little he did. He'd feel better once he said it out loud, that's what Momo always tried to do. Sharing struggles made them a tiny bit easier to carry.

She'll talk to Kyouka tomorrow. That's not a topic she could discuss with Todoroki.

He couldn't understand that. Not yet. Their friendship was just starting to grow.

And…she didn't know why, but she didn't want him to know she was engaged.

Momo sighed before she climbed out the tub, dried off with the white embroidered towels and got herself ready for bed. She looked at herself in the mirror again while she brushed her teeth and later combed her hair. Buttoning up the last buttons of her bright blue silk pajamas, she looked the room over to see if she forgot anything. Nodding she took a deep breath before she went on her way to her bedroom.

Slowly walking through the carpeted hallways, she realized the moon shining through the big windows. The hallway seemed too long today, too cold, even though it obviously wasn't. She couldn't see the colors as she hadn't turned on the light, but she knew the Persian carpets were mainly red, the same as the curtains which weren't closed.

Yet in the dim blue lighting of the moon, even the warmest color seemed so cold.

Shaking her head, she opened the door to her bedroom. Without turning on the light here either, she looked at the room. Her Queen sized bed made of dark wood was standing in the middle of the back wall, while her desk was on the left, surrounded by bookshelves full of everything she'd ever read since her childhood. On the right of her bed was her wardrobe, made of the same wood, which covered most of the wall. Here, as well as in every other room in this building, Persian carpets covered the ground. The same big windows as in the hallway were placed right and left of her bed.

Walking over to the window left her bed, she leaned on the windowsill to look outside. She couldn't really see anything, as it was too dark.

But when she looked up, she saw the sky covered in stars. There were no fireworks like earlier, but she was reminded of the last time she'd stargazed when she sat on the stairs in front of school, talking to a classmate – No, friend of hers.

She was looking at the formations, not concentrating on finding any she could tell a story about. The stories the stars told her today weren't of old myths someone imagined a long, long time ago.

The only thing she could think about was the person she'd last spent time with looking at the sky.

Todoroki Shouto, whom she's seen many times in school, but…whenever they were talking alone together, she felt like she could ask him anything. It was like she could pry open his icy shell a little and get to know him better than she'd ever thought anyone would. It's not like she knew anything at all about him – it was just like a connection, a way she knew what he was trying to tell her without putting it in words.

She remembered how he said he didn't really know if he liked Ennichi because of all the happy families. How he interrupted himself before he could say anything more. Instantly she connected the dots. There was a lot more to his family than he'd like to say at this point in their relat- …friendship than he did. So she did the only thing she knew how to do. She made sure he knew that he could tell her, that she wasn't just someone else. That's what friends are there for, after all.

What…What if her fiancée forbade her from having contact with him? She wasn't sure she could handle never talking to him again. Those awkward meetings and texts they exchanged – She wasn't sure if she could live without those.

Sighing, she looked at her phone, realizing it was after two in the morning.

She hadn't even texted him if he reached home. After all, he went back all alone. Just because she was wallowing in her misery she forgot about her friend's wellbeing? Momo was mad at herself.

But she couldn't just text him now. Not when she had lectured him about staying up late.

He didn't seem like he even knew it was wrong.

'Did you get back safely?' she hit send. Her imaginative pride shouldn't matter when it's about the wellbeing of her friend.

'Yep,' it said and Momo sighed from relief. Another vibration. 'See you tomorrow.'

She couldn't suppress the small smile on her lips.

This evening had gone from bad to beautiful when he'd found her.

And now… even though the world came crashing down around her, she was able to smile at a single text he wrote.

When Momo fell asleep that night, she was calm and happy, even though there would have been every reason to be sad.

She thought she already understood her mother a little.

Somehow she had a feeling it was going to be fine.

Notes:

There it was, the revelation on Momo's side! And now you know why they don't get told who the other is.

What did you think? Was it sad? At least a little? I cried because I just can't seem to stand my favorite characters suffering, but still I make them, I'm so sorry.

Hah, I feel kind of bad ruining their beautiful evening like this, but what can I do...I had no choice, my fingers moved on their own.

Also, what did you think of my idea to make them watchmakers? As far as I know we don't know their business and I took inspiration from my granny's business when she was young.

By the way, I tidied up my tumblr - so if anyone wants to ask questions, either do it in comments here or in asks there, link's in the main endnote.
I also painted a few things for the story and want to publish some fun facts to certain chapter parts, because I think they'd be interesting - please tell me if that's a good idea before I do haha.

Have a beautiful day!

Chapter 7: The lovely face of lives we chase...

Summary:

I'll Be Ok - Nothing More

Knowledge is a gift, yet also a burden at the same time.
Revelations, interactions, have consequences in unguessed, distracting and beautiful ways.

But our shadows follow us everywhere - there's no way to hide, as long as we live.

Notes:

Oh my lord I am so sorry that the chapter is so late.
University made my life a lot more difficult than I thought it would be - and I kind of got accepted into the theatre/drama group, so that's good news(?).

I finally, finally had the time to finish this - and I'm uploading it from my tablet because I can't let you wait until I'm home at the weekend.
So here it is.

Just as a warning - as you can guess with the three points in the title, this chapter and the next are going to be deeply, deeeeeply connected, just as a sidenote. (Which you'll understand when you finish reading this).

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The world was white.

She was standing in the middle of… nothing? Momo was confused. That couldn't be true. She wasn't just standing nowhere, was she?

It suddenly got cold. Hadn't she felt this cold before?

That's when she realized it.

It wasn't nothing. It was snow surrounding her. A storm, cold and relentless.

Carefully she took a step forward, the snow crunching underneath her bare feet. Even though it was cold, it didn't hurt at all. Like that cold could never hurt her.

She wasn't scared. She felt like she was safe, right here, right now.

The cold wasn't dangerous.

The wind messed with her hair, pushing it in front of her face, while she did her best to put it back. That was the moment she saw a silhouette in the distance.

Who was that? Did she know that person?

Taking all of her power, she took step after step towards her target.
The closer she got, the more defined the silhouette became, yet the details seemed even blurrier. It was a man, it definitely was. Everything was grey, the snow in her eyes making it even more difficult to see clear. There weren't any colors.

That's funny, she thought.

Since the only thing Momo seemed to understand in the last few weeks were colors.

Sunset colors.

But they weren't here. Their absence hurting more than she thought possible for something as simple as colors. Even her own royal blue pajamas were grey.

She was standing right in front of him, yet she couldn't see him. Even if she knew him, she wouldn't be able to recognize whoever it was.

Only an arm length apart, she stopped, staring at the blur of a person in front of her.

He was right there, but still too far away.

And he was facing her direction, holding out a hand.

She stared at the blurry form as she realized that the hand became clear, became focused, once it was in front of her.

What should she do? Should she take that hand?

Even though everything told her she shouldn't, she moved to take it. She would have taken it regardless of what anyone said in that moment.

Once their hands touched, everything seemed to stop. Time seemed to stand still, the snowflakes floating right in front them, while she realized how cold the hand was.

Of course it would be cold, if whoever it was stayed here in a snowstorm. The silhouette was still unclear.

Those thoughts only held on for a short moment, everything around them changing. The snow turning to rain, the rain washing away the white of the ground.

It was like fast forward – The grass growing, flowers blooming and the sky turning blue, while the hand got warmer and warmer. The colors started to spread, the grass turning green, the flowers yellow.

Until it became hot, too hot.

She was scared.

Tears drove into her eyes as she tried to hold on to the hand.

But it hurt. She couldn't hold onto it. She held on for another second before she hissed and pulled away, taking a step back.

The ground crunched again. But it wasn't snow. The grass dried out.

Everything dried out, the flowers started to burn and once Momo blinked, the world was on fire.

She was so, so scared.

"H-Hello?" she asked carefully, looking around and witnessing the red flames. It got hotter, but she didn't feel the sting of getting burned. Maybe she was safe? W-What was going on?

"I guess I'm a trophy father's trophy son," a voice said. An echo, undefinable. Did the silhouette talk? Why... What happened?

The silhouette turned away and turned to dust in this burning world, just as Momo reached out to stop him. She could only grasp a blurry finger, but once she touched it, the fire disappeared. It was as if it never happened. The grass and the flowers turned back to normal. The dust turned into a silhouette again. J-Just…what?

"Don't go," she whispered.

The silhouette turned towards her and she felt like she'd seen that boy before. It became clearer and the colors started to spread onto the shadow of a human whose finger she was holding.

Slowly the face took form.

A sharp nose manifesting, the contours of a jaw defining.

Just when Momo had a feeling she'd seen that face before, everything turned black.

Drenched in sweat Momo jolted up in her bed.

W-What was that?

It took a while before she understood that someone knocked on her door.

„Uh-huh," she said as loud as she could while she tried to stand up, her black hair falling into her eyes.

„Lady Yaoyorozu, it is time for breakfast if you want to reach school in time," a maid said, bowing slightly.
Her already grey hair was put together in a neat bum, the long black skirt reaching her ankles.

Momo nodded, still trying to understand what Ari had said. Even though she was mainly a maid, she was also her nanny since she could remember. She'd seen her at her best, she'd seen her at her worst.

She was like a grandma for her as she couldn't remember her grandparents.

Just what was that dream?

What did it mean? Why did it end? She was so close to finding out who it was!

But…why did everything start burning?

„I'll be right there," she answered the maid, recalling what she was told in the night. Her engagement. Had she dreamed of her future husband? Is that possible? She thought things like this were only possible in movies.

„Are you alright?" Ari asked. Momo looked her straight in the bright blue eyes and realized that she knew. Possibly had known all along.

„Did you know?" the teen asked instead of answering.
The elderly nodded, the wrinkles around her eyes intensifying as she smiled.

„I knew of the engagement from the moment the deal was made."

Momo looked away. She couldn't look at her, feeling like everyone had known except herself. Taking a deep breath, she brushed her messy her behind her ears, before she angled her legs and pulled them tightly to her chest so she could put her head on her knees.

„Why did you never tell me?" she whispered quietly. Tried not to cry. She'd always known that day would come. She just never guessed it would be this soon. Her dream came back to her mind. Who was that? Why did she feel like she'd seen that face before, even though she couldn't even see it completely?

„Would you have wanted to know?" Ari asked her instead, slowly walking up to the dark haired teenager cowering in her bed.
Would she have? Would it have made anything better? Given her an advantage? Would it have stopped her from…from…

Momo shook her head no. It wouldn't have.

„I… I just wished it was before I… before I-"

She didn't know how to end that sentence.

A gentle hand was placed on her shoulder and she looked up to see the elder woman wipe away a tear that had almost dropped from her chin.

The elder sighed.

"I…I am not allowed to tell you anything, I'm sorry for that."

"It's fine," Momo replied, slowly regaining her smile. It was not her fault, not at all. She couldn't have changed the facts.

"I'll ready your school bag, go and eat breakfast, young lady. You can't neglect your body. You need the fat for your Quirk," she said.

Momo nodded while quickly getting up. She felt…a lot more energetic than she thought she would after what happened yesterday and she went to bed this late.

She took her phone and looked to see if she had any missed texts. She, in fact, didn't, because the last time she was online was after two in the morning.

Frowning she looked at the text from Todoroki. He was awake at that time again? And she couldn't even reprimand him for it, because she was awake as well. But those were special circumstances!

Momo started laughing.

It was so typical.

The world came crashing down around her…and she only thought about whether or not her friends slept well and what they thought of the irony of her lectures.

Oh, she'd definitely reprimand him again.

Just like that evening in front of school, where she didn't lecture him, even though she had wanted to. Where she'd sat on dirty stairs.

Maybe… he wasn't the best influence for her etiquettes.

And while she got ready for another day of school, she didn't even remember the reason she had been awake this late in the first place.

"Yaomomo!" Mina whined when Momo entered the classroom.

"Yes?" she asked grinning.

"If you don't help us we'll trash the finals," Kaminari explained, looking like he was about to start crying.

"Do you want to come over for tutoring?" Momo asked excitedly, putting her hands over her cheeks to cover up how she became red again from excitement.

Both Kaminari and Mina, as well as Ojiro and Sero quickly nodded.

"I can help you with the written portion," she nodded, before she sulked, trying not to look to sad, "…the practicals on the other hand…not so much."

"If it's like that, would it be okay for me to join in as well?" Jirou asked carefully, holding her folder in hand, looking at her friend, obviously realizing the topic her friend sulked over.

"Gladly. How about Saturday? I can ready the pastries! And we can use the big hall!" she smiled.
Out of the corner of her eye she could see Hagakure and Uraraka looking at her suspiciously. She cringed, remembering they might have seen her at Ennichi yesterday.

She did her best to ignore them, trying to ignore the voice in her head that told her that was rude.

"T-The…big hall?" her classmates echoed her, before they fell into chatter while Momo walked over to her desk, putting her bag down and looking at the half and half user that had already taken place and put his blazer over the back of his chair.

He looked tired.

He was looking at her as if he was contemplating something.

Maybe because of her double morals that he'd found out last night?

"Good morning!" she said to him, smiling slightly. He nodded carefully. Just what was he thinking about?
She couldn't know.

Well, if one stayed awake half of the night, being tired seemed to be logical consequence.

But it was her fault as well. After all, he brought her home, even though it was really, really late. Just to make sure she got home safely.

So she'd not get discovered sneaking out.

Which she still did.

Oh, right.

"Jirou, do you have anything planned for the lunch break?" she asked the smaller purple haired girl standing with the others.

"Not yet, why?" Jirou answered.

"Do you want to meet up under the big tree?"

"Sure," she replied nodding.

Momo smiled brightly. Even though she wasn't sure where she got the power to smile like this while though so much was weighing her down.

Maybe she was just good at pretending.

Quickly she took place in her seat as Aizawa got up at the front of the class, where he had placed his sleeping bag since he was early today.

She didn't know where to start. What should she say?

There was no way to breach the topic nicely. It wasn't anything nice she wanted to tell her friend. From her perspective, it must be terrible.

But it wasn't for Momo. At least not completely, she repeated again and again.

"What's wrong?" Jirou asked, looking up to her. They were sitting next to each other, underneath a big tree which gave them cool in the summer heat.

Both of them had gotten their lunch from food rush, and taken the trays outside (which was okay, as long as they returned everything alright).

Jirou's purple hair glowed in the half shadow, while she pointed at her with one of her ear jacks accusingly.

So Jirou had already realized that something wasn't really alright. But Momo didn't know where to start. Sighing she put her fringe behind her ear, suddenly feeling incredibly annoyed at the hair falling into her face.

Now was the time to say it. She'd understand her decision, right? She wouldn't think she was weird, right? Momo took a deep breath.

"Well…Just yesterday I-"

"Yaomomo!" Hagakure yelled from a little distance, Uraraka, Asui and Ashido standing next to her, smiling brightly.

Oh.

"Hi!" she smiled back at them, waving as Jirou just looked at her with a look that showed her that the topic wasn't over yet.

Momo was glad for the time she had earned to make sense of this situation.

Even though she said it was fine, she could feel the rock in her chest. The lump in her throat that appeared as soon as she wanted to talk about the topic.

The girls quickly walked over to them, Asui only a little less excited than the rest. Ashido was almost jumping over to them. What was this about?

With a loud thump the pink girl flopped down next to her, while Hagakure fell to her knees next to the former. Uraraka and Asui gently took place, even though Uraraka was crawling up to her with a suspicious smile.

Oh no.

It now dawned on her what this was about.

Was this-

"Were you at Ennichi yesterday?" Hagakure popped the question and even Jirou looked at her with a half smirk, half shocked facial expression.

"I-…I don't-…" Momo took a deep breath. Lying wouldn't change anything at the fact that they did in fact see her. At least she didn't have to worry about anyone telling her mother, since she already knew. "…Yes."

Both Hagakure and Uraraka started screaming and Momo smiled awkwardly. What was so good about this discovery. The two girls then looked at Ashido and nodded.

"No!" the pink girl yelled as if she couldn't believe it. She shoved Uraraka and Hagakure out of the way to crawl directly at Momo, who backed up against the tree, putting down her food tray. Jirou looked back and forth between the girls but ended up looking at Asui who was only shrugging, obviously having no clue what this was about either.

Momo stared into bright, almost glowing yellow eyes, curtained by pink eyelashes. Her eyes were pretty.

But not as pretty as-

"Todoroki," Ashido started and Momo's eyes went wide. How did she- "and you," she went on, "at Ennichi? Together?"

Oh.

They had seen them together. This must look so bad. This already sounded so, so bad.

Scandalous.

Jirou slapped a hand in front of her mouth to stop the grin that was forming.

"Do you know anything?" Uraraka quickly asked the usually so deadpan girl. She just shook her head, trying to wrap her head around things as well.

Before she stopped.

"So that's what you wanted to tell me!" she exclaimed, clapping once. No, it wasn't, Momo thought, but smiled nonetheless.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't ruin this moment by admitting she was engaged.

And that the man she was engaged to was, in fact, not Todoroki.

"Eh…Well…You see…" she tried to start but Ashido started laughing.

"Our vice rep is stammering when she's flustered. Isn't that so cute?" she asked Uraraka and Hagakure, who both nodded in agreement.

Momo prayed for the ground to swallow her whole.

"So, are you two together or something?" The pink girl asked grinning, sitting back on her heels.

"No!" Momo exclaimed, waving her hands in a denying gesture while shaking her head, "We're just friends."

"You'r with the unapproachable Todoroki Shouto? The icy fire boy? The hottest guy in class?" was the answer she got from a devastated and surprised Ashido Mina.

Momo smiled awkwardly. She could feel her cheeks get warm again. No, stop that, Momo!

"I-…No-…Well, yes, but-" slowly the raven haired girl became annoyed with herself. She never stuttered! The toughest exam questions wouldn't make her as nervous as her friends questioning her on seeing her with a boy at a festival with whom she usually didn't even really interact but now did after she almost tripped over him in front of school-

Was that how Midoriya felt when he started mumbling?

"It's fine, don't say anything!" Mina laughed, backing up completely while Uraraka patted Momo on the shoulder empathetically. "Even though I really wanna know how that happened!" the gravity manipulator said smiling.

Asui and Jirou looked at each other, before Jirou started shaking her head and looked at her phone to check the time.

"Actually, Mina, I think you've got to explain something as well," Jirou started dryly, eating another bit of her fried rice.
"W-What?"

"You and Kirishima? Went to middle school together?" the earphone jack hero said, slightly smirking before putting another spoon in her mouth. Mina was left gaping for a second before she blushed a little.

"It's not like that, I swear! We're horn buddies!" she tried reasoning, overly gesturing at her horns.

Uraraka quietly laughed at that, bro fisting Hakagure who stayed seated.

"Why are you laughing, Ochako?" Asui started, putting a finger to her lip as Uraraka's eyes widened, "How's Midoriya?"

Momo now started laughing as well when Uraraka started floating. Hagakure quickly held onto her sleeve so she'd stay near the ground.

Just what was this situation? Was this the typical girl talk Momo had read about all those years? Of course it was. She was just happy she wasn't the center of attention anymore. Even if they were her friends, she couldn't burden them with problems they couldn't change anything about. They couldn't stop that marriage.

They couldn't lift her spirits, as there was only one person that had been able to do that.

She had to think back to their interactions – which always seemed to be so late at night.
How they talked…How they didn't talk. The quiet understanding made it so different from her friendship to those girls in front of her.

They were generally so different compared to any friendships she'd ever had.

He was a mystery that took so much of her mind that she couldn't seem to spare a minute to wallow in her self-doubt when he was around.

"Jirou, you do laugh the loudest at Kaminari's derp face, is there something we should know?" Mina then smirked at Jirou who choked on her rice.

"Oh! Guys, lesson starts in ten minutes! Momo, we have to bring our plates back!" she said, trying to run from the conversation.

"Yeah, right!" Momo replied and quickly got up, taking the chance to run as soon as it was offered to her. She was mostly defending her friend, grinning at the other girls, waving with her free hand, before they disappeared into the building.

At least she didn't overthink her future when she was with her friends.

The rest of the week passed by in a flash – Momo had spent most of her time studying, falling into bed after long exhausting days, not even having the time to think about whatever that dream meant.

Maybe her dream was an indication of what would happen in the future, maybe it wasn't.

She guessed she'd find out after finals.

Right…Finals. She was so afraid of the practicals. Without a plan she'd inevitably fail. And she couldn't form a plan in real situations, she'd learned that at the sports festival.

If she was only a little more confident, maybe she'd have the power to do it.

But she couldn't believe in herself.

And if she didn't…who would?

"Is this really how you grew up?" Kyouka asked as she came out of the bathroom, having changed into her purple pajama's with black skull print.

It was Saturday evening and after everyone that came over for the tutoring went home, Jirou stayed for a sleepover.
Yet she felt so out of place in this giant house, with maids running around from time to time, wanting to help her in any way they could, just because she was a guest. Was that how her friend grew up? So secluded? Apart from the normal people who just lived in tiny apartments, making the best of what they had.

That explained so much about why her knowledge seemed to stem from books mainly. But she was so good at applying whatever she read that no one seemed to notice when they didn't just visit her at home. Everyone who had been here today for tutoring would see her with a little different eyes from today.

"Yes," Momo replied smiling, leading the way to her bedroom (Jirou had insisted she wouldn't survive the night in one of those giant guestrooms and Momo was okay with sharing her bed), where she opened the door and Kyouka pointed at the bed questioningly with one of her ear jacks before Momo nodded and the purple haired let herself plop onto the bed.

"How many guest rooms do you actually have here?" she then asked interested, looking up at the raven haired girl who had taken place next to her, sitting down on her legs on the bed.

"There are eight guest bedrooms and each of them has got its own bathroom," she counted enthusiastically, but Kyouka could feel the smile was fake. What was wrong? What happened? When tutoring everyone earlier, she was completely in her element, not even showing any sign of being unhappy. But she'd seen that expression on her many times this week. And she had a little suspicion.

"Why were you that broody all week?" she asked carefully, sitting up on her elbows to look at her friend.

"B-Broody? What do you mean?" Momo answered confused, putting her hands back at her sides, slowly drawing circles into her fluffy bedsheets.

"You were totally down all week. And you did great at not showing it, but I realized when your facade always crackled when you looked at the ice princess. Did you have a fight?" she told her the analysis she'd made over the week. Momo started blushing a little, shaking her head violently.

"No! Of course not. It's just…a long story," the black haired girl tried to reason.

"I've got time."

Momo looked at her for a while, the smile slowly coming back to her face.

"I just always feel like I'm one step behind. I mean – Todoroki and I entered UA through recommendations. So why does it feel like I can't catch up to him whatever I do?"

"Momo, you are incredible. You know that. During USJ, you saved both mine as well as Kaminari's asses a few times. You are smart, why would you think that? Because of the sports festival?" Jirou frowned. Just what had the ice princess said to her that she was that down? They'd had a similar discussion before, but this time, Momo started to smile.

"He said that as well."

"What?"

"Todoroki said I was smart as well. That it was the reason he chose me for the cavalry battle," she said, smile growing wider as she looked to the side, still dreamily drawing patterns on the sheets.

Kyouka tilted her head before her eyes widened.

"He's got you totally whipped, doesn't he?" she asked laughing as Momo frowned.

"What do you mean by that?" the girl stopped drawing her finger over the fabric.
Kyouka analyzed her. Her bright blue pajama's, the slight redness on her cheek, the dreamy eyes as she looked at everything but her.

"Nothing. Doesn't matter," she decided to say. Momo clearly didn't have any clue of her crush on him. How could someone so smart be this oblivious?

The raven haired girl clearly looked confused but Kyouka laughed.

"Really, it's fine. Just know you've got me to talk," the purple haired promised.

Momo smiled sadly.

"Thank you, Jirou," she started before she started with the patterns again, "You know. I think I can tell you," she said, before she sighed, "I'm en-"

Momo's sentence was interrupted by her ringtone, an interesting orchestra version of 'River Flows in You'.

Frowning again, she looked at Kyouka apologetically.

"Midoriya's calling, I think I have to take that," she said and Kyouka nodded. Just why would Midoriya call at that time of the day? It was already past ten.

Even if she didn't want to eavesdrop, she could hear everything over the line and she would've tried not to listen but what Midoriya said made Momo grasp her pajama shirt right on top of her heart. And Kyouka couldn't not care when her friend clearly suffered.

"I'm calling because of Todoroki," Midoriya said, voice distorted over the line but Kyouka could clearly hear that there was something terribly, terribly wrong.

Nothing could shake up her friend like this. The incident at USJ didn't make her react like this at all. And that was a life or death situation. Just what was happening over there?

Noise could be heard over the line, someone, probably Iida if she heard right, was talking to Midoriya, voice hushed and not understandable to them, as the overall noise on the other line was extremely loud. The only other thing Kyouka could distinguish was her classmates name repeated over and over, as if to catch his attention. Just what was that?

Sure, he zoned out from time to time, but-

The only thing Kyouka saw were her friend's tears as she gave it her all to stay calm.

"Yaoyorozu, something's terribly wrong. Please talk to him," Midoriya's voice cried, "I think he's having a panic attack."

Notes:

Please don't kill me.
It'll eventually all make sense - and fluffy times are still kind of far away (but also not, if I include little rays of hope) but we'll now finally get to the main point of the story, won't we?

What did you think about the girl talk? I'm sorry to say it, but there will probably no kirimina here, but another ship with kiri I don't wanna spoil, but feel free to guess!

Also, what could the dream have meant? Could it have possible been foreshadowing or something?

Anyway - As you might see - I updated the tags, and I changed the description a tiny little bit. (People who follow me on tumblr or read the posts to my story know why) I threw out a little (big) plotpoint that would've been just too much in terms of the main plot. (Also, I'll hint at the tags again, if you wanna know why something like a panic attack could happen...Wanna guess? :D)

I hope you'll stay with me nevertheless - it didn't change much as I didn't even write anything for that plotpoint, so...it's okay(?)

Your reactions and comments really, really make my day! I laughed and cried tears of joy, you can't even know how happy they make me xD
Thank you for believing that happier times will come, I swear they will, one day!

Also, if you wanna stay updated as to how far the chapters are or me ranting about my own writing, feel free to visit my tumblr! (Name: seespr) (same profile pic as here lol) Also ask games! XD

(This note is so long, I'm sorry)

Have a beautiful, fabulous day, you beautiful, fabulous creature who read all the way to here! :D

Chapter 8: ...is but dust for wind to take

Summary:

I'll Be Ok - Nothing More

A bound soul breaking - voices of the heart breaking through the maze.

There is no place for fear in this world.

Notes:

WARNING: The following chapter contains graphic depiction of a panic attack. If you're easily triggered or uncomfortable, I advise you to skip it or read it with caution.

Idid it. I finished it this weekend.

I must admit, I was a little tipsy when I wrote that, and I cried.

This is gonna be terrible, this is gonna be beautiful - Take blankets, cookies and fresh warm milk to get yourself comfortable, this is a rollercoaster of emotion. (at least I hope that's how you'll see it as well.)

Enjoy! *hesitant laugh*

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

'Come on, Todoroki. Iida and Uraraka are going to be there as well!' the text message said. Shouto looked at it, sighing deeply while he ruffled his hair.

Why was he here again?

Right, study group is what Midoriya had called it, even if Uraraka had looked way too happy for it to actually be about studying. Probably more of a hang out session? Who really knows what those people he called his friends had planned now. They were unpredictable after all.

If it wasn't studying…It's not like he cared. His grades would be alright.

Actually, he hadn't wanted to go to this 'study group' Midoriya had invented after the Hosu incident. He hadn't been there even if they'd met up a few times, never feeling obligated to do so. Sure, he wanted to have friends…But the whole friendship and interaction thing could drive him insane without anyone actually doing anything.

Today was a little different.

"Have you practiced for the meeting with your future wife?" his father had asked him after he'd finished his supervised training after he came home that Saturday. Shouto hadn't been sure what he was supposed to have practiced – whether it was his social skills, or any imposing manners, but he definitely didn't do it.

When he obviously said "No," his father wasn't that happy to hear his answer.

At least training wasn't a one-sided beating by the elder anymore, like it had been all those years ago.

Right, that's the only physical contact he'd known before he met his mother again.

No wonder he didn't like subtle touches, as they always seemed to be some kind of threat. Another thing about friendship he didn't understand. Just why did friends have this habit of touching each other all the time? It was still weird to him. He had to ask Yaoyorozu about that one day.

After realizing that his fire Quirk was his, everything had changed.

It had been weeks. Weeks, since they'd last full out argued to the point Endeavor put him down in battle to settle the argument.

He hadn't hit him in weeks, not at all. Shouto thought he must've been incredibly happy that his son finally used his flames, finally tried to become the hero he wanted him to be. Finally followed the path he was destined to take.

But for him to not say anything that could start a fight…was incredibly weird.

"Your left is a little slower than your right," was all he said as he looked at his son with a strict impression.

He… didn't get angry?

When the elder realized the confused look he received, he crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking down at him as he was still a lot taller than his son.

"We don't want to scare off your fiancée, do we?" he asked smirking.

Scare off…his fiancée? By what? Telling her the truth?

That her future husband didn't have a childhood because all he knew was training to be a hero ever since he turned five?

That he's got no social skill whatsoever, is pretty much scared of anyone touching him because he always calculates in betrayal and a stab in the back?

That she should run before the contract's signed?

That she should stay away from this household as far as she can as all it brought was misery?

Shouto had been smart enough not to voice any of his thoughts.

Instead he just turned around and left.

Midoriya's study group was waiting after all.

Okay, he did shower first, trying to get rid of the smell of ashes and fire that always engulfed him after using his fire Quirk.

His mother must've hated that smell.

Sighing he looked at the message for a hundredth time. He was standing in front of Midoriya's place, without even saying that he was coming. But the last message that reached him had been one where his friend had tried to be motivating.

So here he was.

Putting his phone into his bag's pocket, he rang the doorbell. The only Midoriya's, at least he wouldn't ring the wrong bell. At least he hoped that it was the right building.

"Hello?" a female voice asked through the speaker. Probably Midoriya's mother.

Oh, right. People have those things. In his home all you did was knock the door in hopes someone would open. Which would happen, since everything could be heard through the paper walls and no one could stand how annoying it was when the knocking sound didn't disappear.

"Eh…Todoroki Shouto here," he said, but didn't even know if his friend's mother knew his name.

"Ah! Izuku said you might be coming over as well! Come in!" Shouto could literally hear the smile in her voice. Did you just let someone in even if you didn't know the voice? He tried not to think too much into that. "We're on the fourth floor," she added.

"Alri-" Shouto wanted to say, but was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Okay, that would work as well.

He quickly jogged up the stairs to the fourth floor, his muscle ache from the hard days of training before almost forgotten.

Just as he realized he had no idea which apartment number it was, a door opened and three very familiar faces stacked up to watch him, all of them looking happy but also surprised.

Oh god, that was going to be fun, he thought dryly.

"Hi," he said, sheepishly putting his hands in his pants' pockets.

"You're really here," Uraraka whispered as if he was a ghost. Iida was nodding vigorously and Midoriya hesitantly took a step outside to greet him.

"I'm glad you had time! Come in!" he said smiling when he gestured for him to enter. Shouto nodded and followed the three of them inside.

He wasn't completely sure how it happened, but he ended up on the sofa, next to Uraraka, who might have shoved him there with sparkling eyes. Did she hang out with Aoyama too much?

Thankfully she didn't realize how he flinched at the touch as he resisted the urge to take a big step away. Thankfully there was enough space on the sofa so he'd at least have some sense of personal space. Iida sat next to Uraraka while Midoriya went into the kitchen to help his mother.

"Can I help?" he asked and was greeted by a head shaking Midoriya Inko who had brought over some freshly backed pastries. When Iida started lecturing about the sugar and calories for their muscle build up for their future as heroes, Shouto took one.

"Careful! It's still hot!" she cried exasperated and seemed ready to dress burns as she took off her oven gloves.

Shouto bit into the freshly baked pastry.

It tasted so much nicer than he ever thought it could.

"Fire and ice Quirk," Izuku explained to his mother, who seemed like she was about to cry. At this she exhaled deeply.

"Oh, now I remember! You were the one my Izuku lost against at the sports festival, right?" she asked grinning.

"…Yeah."

She now nodded and went back into the kitchen to bring back a tray with glasses and water and soda.

"I'll make pizza for later, is that alright with everyone?"

While three heads nodded, Shouto looked at her as if she had grown a second head.

"…Not okay?"

"No, no, it's fine, I think. Haven't had that before," he explained quickly, not wanting to leave a bad impression.

"You haven't had pizza? Ever?" Midoriya asked carefully and Shouto nodded. Now Uraraka looked at him like he was an alien. Right, she didn't know anything about his family situation.

And it was better like this.

Iida was watching quietly. He knew the half Midoriya didn't.

"No, but I'd like to try. You know Endeavor's not the best dad," is all Shouto said with a half smile that didn't reach his eyes at all. Of course he was the abnormal one again.

"Endeavor…" Inko whispered, clearly thinking about something, but not saying more.

A new spark lit up in her eyes.

"So I need to make it especially good!" she said with a clap of her hands.

The evening was spent with Uraraka telling them all about her adventurous field training with a battle hero. Shouto mostly kept out of the discussion, observing his friends. Midoriya blushed at every second word the brown haired girl said while Iida was a master at motivation, just like he remembered him to be all along.

And Shouto discovered a new food he liked. Pizza.

"Mh!" he exclaimed with wide eyes as he was watched from all sides, everyone hoping for some kind of reaction. "It's great!" he said nodding, smiling when everyone else seemed to be relieved.

"I'm glad," Inko said while wiping imaginative sweat from her forehead.

"But mom, please let us eat healthy from tomorrow on again, okay?" Midoriya asked hopefully, already feeling his abs disappearing.

"But Izuku! Since you started training for being a hero I couldn't make any of the sinful stuff! Let me at least pamper your friends!" she argued playfully.

"Just let her, Midoriya. Be happy you have her," Shouto said without thinking. Oh no, that's not what he had wanted to say.

Uraraka was obviously confused and Iida seemed to search for dots to connect while Izuku looked at him with wide eyes, knowing what he was talking about.

Inko looked at him sadly before she asked. "So the rumors that Endeavor's wife was hospitalized are true?" She sounded so…caring, even though she didn't even know him for more than an evening. Shouto knew he was about to cry again.

What was it about mother's triggering tears? But he didn't cry, he blinked them away, even though he knew it must've been obvious by how Uraraka's face fell.

They were changing the topic quickly, talking about Iida's new improvements for his hero costume, made by Hatsume Mei from the support course.

Dinner was calm in idle chatter and awkward laughter while Shouto could feel Inko's gaze on him.

"Alright, I'll see all of you on Monday!" Uraraka said as she left, giving friendly hugs to everyone. Shouto just stood there like the piece of ice he felt like when other people hugged him, flinching a little when she patted his back. Uraraka pulled back to look at him with a facial expression that was unreadable to him.

"Sorry," she said smiling, "I should have asked first!"

Shouto was baffled. People… asked before hugging someone?

"It's okay, I'm the weird one," he said deadpan and she furrowed her eyebrows. Her round brown eyes looked… a little angry?

"You're not weird, Todoroki. Not weirder than any of us," she said strictly, "that's why we're friends after all!"

She called him friend.

She. Called. Him. Friend.

Shouto didn't know what to say to that.

"Alright, Iida, is that Hatsume of interest for you?" Inko started another awkward discussion, which was indeed not awkward for her.

"W-What, no! I am fully concentrating on my studies to become a hero," Iida said and Shouto swore he saw a slight blush on the tip of his nose while he pushed his glasses in place.

"Don't be embarrassed! I know my boy's got a thing or two for Uravity," she happily revealed, clapping her hands together again.

"M-Mom!" Izuku said desperately to get the attention off of him.

"Do you have a girl you're interested in, Todoroki?" she asked him smiling.

Oh, she couldn't have known.

"Mom!" Izuku tried to wave the topic away, while Iida looked at him, clearly knowing.

Just like always, he decided to be truthful.

"I'm engaged," he said deadpan, sounding a lot more unaffected than he felt.

Inko looked like she was really about to cry.

"W-What?" Midoriya asked, confusion obvious as his brows furrowed.

"My dad's arranged a Quirk marriage for me," he explained, empty eyes staring at everything but the faces around him.

"Did you know?" Midoriya asked Iida who quietly nodded.

"He asked me if I was in a similar situation," the blue haired replied.

"Is that what you want?" Inko asked, getting the attention back to her.

"What…I…want?" Shouto was confused. Why would what he wanted matter?

"Are you okay with that…or do you feel like you can't live with that decision made for you?" she phrased herself carefully.

"I…I don't know. I'll be fine, I guess. It's always been like this. I'm not surprised this would happen."

"That doesn't make it alright!" Midoriya got up and slammed his hand on the table before he apologized for his outburst to his mother.

"It's fine, really. I'll meet the girl after finals-"

"You don't even know her?! That's going too far. That's just going way too far," Midoriya was shaking his head.

"Leave it be."

"After all he did?! You-…You-…"

"It's fine," Shouto said, "I swear I won't let him make me do anything I don't want to do anymore."

"You know we care a lot about you, don't you? You can talk to us about stuff like this!"

"I know," Shouto said, looking down at the hands he had placed in his lap, letting his hair cover his eyes, "at least I think I know."

It was silent for a second until someone sighed deeply. He looked up to see Inko cross her arms in front of her chest before putting her hand on her chin in a thinking motion.

"Todoroki, I might not be in any position to say that, given we've only just met" she started, walking around the table to crouch in front of him, looking up, trying to see his face, "but many years ago, before Izuku knew of his Quirk, there was this rumor I heard about on a talk show with All Might as a guest. I think that was about ten years ago."

Shouto looked down at her and into her big, friendly, emerald eyes in which he could see so much sadness that it reminded him of his reunion with his mother.

Just what did she want to say?

"And, well, the rumor was about Endeavor, the number two hero, who is your father, right?" she asked and he let out another shaky laugh.

'Father' was a little stretched.

He still nodded.

"It was rumored that his wife, who had been hospitalized because she was physically unstable, had actually hurt one of her children and was sent away because of that. Is that true, Todoroki?"

Wh- How- What-

Shouto knew she must've seen how his eyes went wide with shock, as she painfully smiled and nodded.

"I understand. Was the one she hurt…you?" she asked slowly and carefully, making sure there was no threat in her voice.

It must've been because she reminded him of his mother that much – Or because she was just so nice, so caring, that he couldn't pretend. He didn't want to lie. Not like his father.

But he couldn't talk. He couldn't say anything.

He felt all alone, suddenly cold as his mind was back to the snowfield.

The hand was right in front of him, he just had to take it.

Yaoyorozu said it was okay to trust friends. It was okay to trust people.

And he believed in her.

Subconsciously his hand went up to cover his scar and he only realized when Inko put a hand in front of her mouth to stifle a sob. Shouto looked at Midoriya for support and the green haired boy nodded.

"My mom poured boiling water over the right side of my face because she couldn't stand that I looked like my father," he whispered.

He could hear Iida gasp while Inko started to silently cry.

Shouto didn't know what to do.

"But it's okay now. She apologized. I know she wasn't herself back then. I mean, Endeavor…" Shouto started, but he didn't know if he should continue, suddenly unsure of himself.

But he never felt unsure of himself. He never felt this vulnerable.

Was that what Yaoyorozu meant with being able to tell someone everything?

Inko held a hand out to him, for him to grasp if he wished, without getting too close.

And Shouto couldn't stop himself as he held onto that hand. That soft, warm hand.

It wasn't as soft as Yaoyorozu's.

But it gave him strength all the same.

"He beat her up when she wanted to stop him from hurting me during training," he ended.

Midoriya's mother took a deep breath, steadying herself.

"What kind of training?" she asked, with a determination in her tearstained face that Shouto automatically answered.

"Well, I need to surpass All Might as the number one hero. That's the reason my father married my mother. The reason I was made," he started and Iida chimed in.

"A Quirk marriage," he whispered, finally understanding the problem his friend had wanted to ask him about when they were in that hospital room in Hosu. Shouto nodded.

"I had the powerful double Quirk he wanted, so he started training me the day I turned five."

"Did he hurt you while training?" Inko asked, not able to believe her ears.

Shrugging, Shouto looked at the wall behind her.

"What can I do?" she asked while taking his second hand, "How can we help you?"

Shouto blinked at her, taking a deep breath, before he decided.

"You don't have to do anything. I'll figure it out," he said, knowing it was right. "I want to meet the girl first. My sister said she might be nice."

"You are strong," Inko started, "But if you need someone at your side," she gestured at her son and Iida, "we'll be right here."

Shouto didn't know what to say.

What did he do to deserve this?

Why did they help him?

Why did they even bother?

They shouldn't. They'll get hurt.

Suddenly the proximity became too much. The hands holding his became too much. Everything was too much.

He felt helpless, his hands weren't free, he couldn't move them.

He wasn't free.

He couldn't do what he wanted to do, even if he tried.

Even if they were there – His path was already formed. He couldn't do this.

It didn't make sense anymore.

Why did he even try?

It wouldn't work anyway. He'd only get hurt.

He should just stop.

Everything should just stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Time seemed to be passing too fast, as everything seemed to move in fast forward.

It was like he was underwater, the voices suddenly so dim, as he swore that someone said his name. But he couldn't seem to concentrate on anything that's happening.

He could only see the hands holding his, silently praying they'd let go as he could feel his eyes sting.

Why was he that afraid?

Why was his heartbeat getting faster?

What was wrong?

He had to let go of those hands.

But he couldn't.

He could feel his right hand going colder and colder, knowing his Quirk was acting up.

But he couldn't stop it.

He couldn't stop anything.

He couldn't change anything.

He was standing in a snowfield, holding onto a hand that seemed to keep him in place. That's not what he wanted.

He didn't want to be kept in place.

He wanted to be free.

The ice was spreading over his arms, over his neck and he could feel his eyelashes heavy as he tried to blink.

He couldn't get out of this.

He was frozen in time while the world kept spinning, making him dizzy.

There was no way he could do this.

They said they'd be there – but why did it feel like a lie?

Why couldn't he stop this?

The storm was picking up pace, letting him stumble as he couldn't see anything.

He was going to fall-

"Shouto?" A voice suddenly called out to him, distorted somehow.

His first name? He knew that voice, just from where? Who called him by his first name?

The last one who did was his mother.

But this voice wasn't her.

"It's okay," the voice said, "just let go."

And he did.

Quickly he pulled his hands back, holding them awkwardly in front of his body.

Then it dawned on him.

"Yaoyorozu?" he asked and could clearly hear how Midoriya breathed out of relief, holding a phone, which was obviously turned on speaker, in the air. He didn't want to look at anyone, suddenly realizing that he just totally broke down in front of others. No one should see him like this, ever.

Reluctantly he looked up to see three people in front of him.

Inko was still crouching in front of him, furrowing her brows, obviously thinking hard as she wiped away an angry tear that had escaped her. A tissue was held in front of him and he looked at Iida, who looked so worried that Shouto didn't have any words to describe it. Midoriya and his mother exchanged some looks, not talking anymore.

"I'm here," Yaoyorozu answered and he could hear the smile in her voice. Shouto took the tissue and wiped his face, the knowledge of having cried too present in his head. He suddenly felt so embarrassed.

"I-" he started, unsure of what to say.

Did they really just call Yaoyorozu, put her on speaker and let her talk to him while he was being mental?

And did that really just work?

That didn't make sense, he dryly realized.

"Don't say anything. I won't pry," she realized his hesitation, "Are you fine now?"

"Yeah," is all he answered.

She knew when not to pry. When to leave it at that.

"I'm glad," she whispered, before silence filled the room again, in which he took the phone from Midoriya.

"I…I'll hang up now," he said, "See you later."

"Alright. See you, Todoroki," she said before taking another moment, probably waiting for a reply, before she hung up.

She'd saved him tonight, just like she did that day in front of school, when she was able to get him to calm down after the fight with his father.

She was a true hero.

Shouto sighed.

"Sorry," was all he said.

"Don't be," Midoriya said, taking his phone back and putting it on the table, "but what happened?"

Shouto looked at his hands again.

"I think I just got overwhelmed," he tried to reason.

He was a terrible liar.

They'd know.

"Todoroki,…no, Shouto, that was a full out panic attack," Inko said, looking at her incredibly pale hand.

"You froze yourself," she noted slowly, making sure he understood.

His eyes widened.

He did not imagine that?

He had frozen her hand as well, he realized.

"Does this happen often?" Inko asked him carefully.

Shouto shook his head. He really couldn't lie.

Not anymore.

They already knew.

You can tell your friends anything, he repeated in his head, your friend's mother is not going to hurt you.

"Only," he started, and he could've never known how this little sentence, this little confession, could change everything so drastically, "…when people touch me."

"Touch… you?" she asked, lips pressed together in a thin line, obviously thinking.

Shouto looked at her hand. He couldn't leave it like that.

"I'm sorry," he said as he went to put his left hand over hers. She blinked at him for a second before she reached out as well, not taking his hand and he sighed relieved.

He heated up his hand and she smiled at him.

A mother's smile always seemed to get to him, as he started to smile sadly as well.

Looking around, he noted that Midoriya and Iida had taken place at the table, talking about something he couldn't get the hang of as he hadn't heard the start of the conversation.

"Mom," Midoriya said and Inko looked at him, moving her fingers before nodding at Shouto who turned off his left half again, looking away bashfully.

"We think we know what it is," the green haired boy said.

What…it is?

What what is?

"Todoroki," Midoriya started, lifting his face from his phone, eyebrows pulled together in a heavy frown while Iida pushed back his glasses and nodded at the green haired teen.

"I know I might be stepping way too close with this, so I want to make sure you know we're your friends, whatever happens," Shouto looked at him, a little confused, but too tired to answer, feeling that all of his energy had went into his earlier panic attack.

Yes, Shouto knew they were his friends. But why did he still …react like this?

He nodded slowly, still processing the words.

"Freezing in place when touched, avoiding social events and close proximity," Midoriya started to list and Shouto looked at him, blinking slowly. How did he…?

"Knowing that people aren't always a threat but still reacting,…and…panic attacks," the green haired teen ended, "are symptoms of a mental illness," he ended while putting the phone down and making sure to keep eye contact.

"Mental…illness?" was all Shouto could repeat, mind still a little slow. "Am I going crazy?" he asked quietly and Midoriya shook his head vigorously while putting his hands on the table with a slight bang.

Shouto flinched.

"No!" Midoriya said, "You're not crazy, not at all, and we aren't doctors so there's no say that we're right," he leaned back in his seat, sighing before continuing, "But it would fit the type of childhood you had."

"What…do you mean? Type of childhood? I'm not that different just because Endeavor trained me earlier as all of you."

"No, that's not what I mean," Midoriya argued and Shouto went silent, "You love your mom, don't you?" Shouto nodded confused.

"And when she…left," the green haired teen said, looking at his mother for a second who nodded surely as well, "Did your father give you hugs? What about your siblings?"

"I-" Shouto started before frowning, "I don't know my siblings that well. Haven't seen my brothers in a few years and Fuyumi tries but she wasn't allowed to see me until I'd entered UA either. And Endeavor was neither affectionate nor patient."

Inko was shaking her head, probably thinking about every rumor she'd heard before.

Midoriya sighed.

"It can be part of PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder. I…I know I shouldn't analyze that much, Kacchan already called me out for being a freak…But I think I've seen you flinching when approached suddenly from the back a few times."

"You think I have a…trauma?"

Nodding, Midoriya looked at both other parties in the room before he looked at Shouto again.

"He…hit you, right?" he then asked and Shouto's eyes widened.

"It's just part of training," he tried to rectify. "That's normal."

"Sure, it is, in training. But not when you're a five year old child."

"It's… not?"

"No, no, it's not," Midoriya said strictly, but put a hand on his chin for a second, as if he was thinking, before he continued.

"He took away your mother, the only one you loved, leaving you all alone with the struggle of having to endure pain on a regular basis. It fits. It completely does."

"What is it?" Shouto asked, looking at his hands in his lap, trying to breathe calmly.

"It's called Aphenphosmphobia," he answered, making sure to pronounce it carefully, "Fear of Intimacy."

It was probably just fate that it turned out like this, wasn't it?

Shouto was lying in bed, having gone home after having another tea at the Midoriya's place. It was really late, already after one in the morning. Midoriya's mother hadn't wanted him to go, but he'd made sure to tell them he'd be fine.

He was fine, after all.

Sure, the panic attack had been shit and he had been totally wrecked by it, but otherwise, he was calm - like always.

The knowledge that it was an actual illness that bothered him didn't make it worse, or better, or anything at all.

It was just that now it had a name.

He wouldn't have been surprised if he was going crazy.

He should probably go see a doctor, but he was sure Endeavor wouldn't allow that. What if his masterpiece had history with a mental institution?

Shouto would just go on with it, he could live with it. It's not like he had to cuddle with people at all times of the day.

Anyway, there was only one thing he had to concentrate on for now – Finals.

They were approaching next week.

That's what mattered.

He could feel his phone vibrate, so he searched for it, to find it underneath his pillow. Shouto had quickly went up to his room, making sure not to make sound as he was sure everyone was already asleep, washed up and flopped into his bed. He was sure he wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon though.

The text was from Midoriya.

'I know you don't like that…But mom said she knows a doctor. No one has to know,' it said.

Again, Shouto sighed.

Friends were so interesting. Midoriya didn't have to do that.

'I'll think about it,' he answered honestly.

If his friends thought it was something this important…He should probably do it.

There was so much to life he didn't know, and if he himself didn't have the guts to right what's wrong, he'd be caging himself even more than Endeavor did all his life.

At the same second he sent the message, he received another one.

'Want to talk?' it said.

Of course it was her. Taking a deep breath he fumbled with his phone. He pressed call nevertheless.

"Yaoyorozu," he said.

"How are you?" she asked quietly, almost a whisper.

"Fine," he replied dryly.

"Jirou's sleeping at my place, I'm sorry I did not call sooner," she said, smile evident in her voice.

"You didn't have to. I'm fine," was his only answer as he ruffled his hair so it wasn't hanging into his face.

He could only hear her breathe.

"I was worried," she admitted, "I was afraid."

"Why?"

"Because I couldn't be there to help. I- I was totally helpless. I tried calling you, and it seemed to be pure luck you reacted to Sh-…your first name," her whispering voice told him and he stared at the ceiling.

Shouto couldn't thank her. The words just wouldn't leave his mouth. He couldn't tell her what had happened either.

He didn't want her to know he was a wreck.

Why did he even care? It didn't matter when it was Midoriya. It didn't matter when it was Iida and Midoriya's mother.

"Sorry," was all he answered.

She sighed deeply and he could hear rustling on the other line.

"Don't say you're sorry," she said strictly and he repressed the urge to say sorry.

"Okay," he said, "Isn't it past your bedtime?"

He couldn't suppress that one.

Suddenly it went quiet.

"You're right," she said, "And finals are just next week. What am I going to do about all this?"

"It'll work out somehow," he answered.

There was no way he'd start lecturing her about how groundless her fears were.

She was strong, she was smart, she was brave.

He couldn't understand why she couldn't see that.

"Yeah," she answered, sounding unsure. "I should go to sleep now. Sleep well, Todoroki."

"Good night, Yaoyorozu."

He couldn't understand the reason for her lack of self-esteem.

He couldn't have known it was him.

Notes:

This was pure suffering.

Tell me, what did you think?
Did anyone guess that it was Aphenphosmphobia? I hinted that it was tagged all along.
That's what I mean with the main focus isn't the arranged marriage - it's even worse. (Well, okay, that's up to what you entitle as worse, idk man)
I'm so sorry for doing this, and I'm not sure if the worst part is even over.

What do you think about those kids' beautiful connection? I guess it will be necessary more sooner than later.

And: Did you get the 'because he believed in her'? Ha. Ha. She thought something similar last chapter.

Also, I painted something for this chapter - Even though it's not perfect, I think it captures the athmosphere rather well.
You can find it on my tumblr ~

Have a beautiful and happy day, everyone.

Chapter 9: 'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Summary:

Perfect - Ed Sheeran

A bond is tried - promises are made.

A bound soul accepts her heart.

Notes:

Good afternoon everyone!

Here's chapter 9 - finals have finally arrived!
Stuff is happening, things get serious.

The rollercoaster does not stop - but which way will it go?

I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Being a teacher wasn't always the easiest job, Aizawa realized as they'd told their students the rules of their practical final exams.

He could see it on Yaoyorozu's face. Once they were told their opponents weren't going to be robots, but teachers, her face fell completely. Of course most of the students were surprised at the change of examination, but he realized he'd been right with teaming up those two.

When he'd said they'd have to fight against him, she looked at the half and half boy next to her, fiddling with her fingers, while he looked completely unfazed – like always. He nodded at her before continuing to listen to principal Nedzu. Aizawa could see the girl sigh. He'd been right with the observation that her self-esteem had taken a downturn after the sports festival. Whereas she'd been fully invested and had trusted her instincts during tasks at hand, she now didn't even try to form plans unless asked for specifics. He knew she could do it, so the question was why.

And he'd answered that one rather easily, when he saw the glances she threw in the direction of Endeavor's son, full of admiration, even at plans that were definitely not perfect and didn't even properly include all team members, like he was a genius. He wasn't dumb, surely, but she always showed the best strategic thinking since the beginning of the school year. So the double Quirk user was at least part of the reason she'd lost all of her grip and when Aizawa wondered how that came to, he figured out that it must be the one thing they had in common – them entering UA through recommendations.

If she really did think of him as someone better as her just because he didn't even hesitate while fighting or because his power was flashy, she'd be completely wrong. Both of them had their strengths and weaknesses, and they balanced each other out, so he'd made sure to pair them up for the final exam.

Because he remembered one thing that might get her to start again, to get up when she tripped. It wasn't particularly surprising he'd watched Endeavor's son from the beginning since the boy'd been held back ever since entering UA, not even trying to get into contact with his classmates, and Aizawa had become suspicious. Endeavor wasn't a nice, popular hero like All Might was and his not being content with being stuck at being the number two were things he wasn't really subtle about, so he'd wanted to make sure the kid didn't get caught up on his father's antics.

Well, long story short, he'd recognized that neat handwriting with the creation hero's name on. It's not like he knew what appalled the Todoroki boy to vote for her as class president, but it would certainly mean he's holding some admiration for her, thinking of her as someone way better fitted for the role.

If that was true, this final exam could benefit both students gravely. If they wanted to beat him, they'd have to overcome their own struggles. Todoroki would have to work together with her so they'd be able to beat him, or even run, because if Aizawa was right, the kid would rely on his Quirk too much. At the same time, she'd probably have a better plan, but wouldn't get over herself to say it out loud, thinking his was going to be better, even if it obviously wasn't. If they wanted to beat him, they'd have to work together, openly, and Aizawa hoped that they'd be able to do that. Both of them had a lot of potential to become outstanding heroes – and he'd hate to see Yaoyorozu failing at that because she didn't trust her own abilities.

Still, he wouldn't let them win because of that. He might have sprinkled in a little motivation, a little push from both sides, but the war was still theirs to win.

It was pretty ironic how it turned out exactly how he predicted. Todoroki got caught, Yaoyorozu ran. That wasn't even supposed to be a plan, was it? He tied him up while asking him if he shouldn't have discussed that plan with her more and the face the kid was making showed him he hit the target just right.

He'd caught up to the girl in very short time, noticing how shook she look at the knowledge that the original plan had indeed failed. Suppressing a smirk, he noticed how she spun around. So she'd abandoned that plan. That's how they might be able to do this.

"Yaoyorozu, you got something up your sleeves, right?" the half and half boy shouted while their teacher approached. There was hesitation on Yaoyorozu's face, while he apologized for not listening and asking for her opinion. "But even your plan failed…" she said and the boy hanging in the air over her shouted the one thing Aizawa knew she needed to hear for a fair battle.

"You got two votes for the class president election, remember?" he started, wriggling in the air, "I was the one who voted for you, because I thought you'd excel at that!"

Finally reaching the two, he tried capturing when his vision suddenly turned white.

A flash grenade?

That's what told him one simple sentence changed the boy's view of the situation, giving her the ultimate motivation boost with the truth of the class president election, so Aizawa's plan had worked.

He hadn't let them win, but he might have…acted a little slower when she missed pulling the trigger for the catapult, darting his attention at the Todoroki boy hidden underneath a blanket whose flames were just missing him by little when the capturing material caught him.

Yes, being a teacher wasn't always the easiest job, but he'd definitely done his today.

"Was that the truth?" Momo asked, straightening her skirt as she sat in front of school – not on the stairs this time – that she had made sure of. Underneath a tree, next to the school stairs, a wooden bench was located.

After their final examination ended, and they'd been told they had passed, they were free to go for the day. And after watching the fights of her classmates, analyzing and practicing her strategic thinking with newfound motivation, she'd left when the bell rang to end the day of school.

Relieved and happy, Momo had taken place on the bench, reliving the events of today.

Had it really been the truth? Was that second vote, over which she'd always wondered whom it'd belonged to, as no one really knew her, except for her participation during a lesson the day before, really his? And if it was, why?

She couldn't even believe she had passed.

Just when she thought her dream was completely out of reach, completely out of sight, everything had turned around. And if even someone like Todoroki thought she was better for planning strategies, it would have to mean something, wouldn't it? When someone as good as him pushed her even higher – she felt like she could take on the world.

That was when she'd seen him walk out of the building, staring at nothing in particular as he walked down the stairs, looking around, as if he was searching for a good spot, as she'd called his name.

He looked at her a little startled, but she'd waved to him and made a beckoning gesture for him to come over. Turning around again, looking at his usual spot on the fourth step, he seemed to decide she was the better company. So he'd walked over to her, setting his bag next to the bench in the grass.

"Yaoyorozu," he'd said while gesturing at the bench and she nodded grinning.

That's how they'd ended up here – sitting in front of school, none of them knowing where to start.

"Did you really vote for me as class representative?" she continued her question, looking up at his face while he was looking her straight in the eyes. Gulping, she blinked as she analyzed his features at the close proximity.

While that evening in the bus she'd only seen parts of his face, she could see everything now, open in the daylight. Dark grey and aqua eyes, sun reflecting on the eyelashes which did indeed match his hair and eyebrows. Not even the rough looking skin, the burned flesh around his left eye could stop her from finding he was gorgeous in his own particular, unusual way.

"Do I look like a liar to you?" he answered deadpan and she quickly shook her head. He never did – but it seemed so unbelievable. It was like a dream.

She was so, so relieved.

It was like she'd gotten new hope for a future she'd given up on only a few weeks ago. She had found her closure with not becoming a hero and it had hurt, hurt so bad. But now…Everything was fine, wasn't it?

He made her feel like she was worthy of being a hero in training.

"No, anyone but you," she explained, smiling at him. He only blinked at her. Did all that leave him completely cold? Did he even know what he did? What he did for her?

"I'm glad," he answered, turning to look at the sky, but only seeing the leaves moving in the wind.

He was…glad? That she didn't think he was a liar?

Now it was obvious he didn't know that he gave her power when she'd given up on herself.

Biting her lower lip, she thought about what she could say. Then she started smiling, putting her stray hairs behind her ear.

"Todoroki?" she asked to make sure he'd give her attention while he turned towards her. She took a breath before she said it.

"Thank you. For everything."

His eyes widened for a second, before he frowned.

"What for?" he rubbed his neck, looking almost…bashful?

So he really, really didn't know?

Right, she shouldn't be surprised – his social skills weren't that great. Except for his observations – he'd understood them completely right.

"For giving me the power to trust in myself," she explained straightening her skirt with shaking hands again. Why were her hands shaking? She wasn't that nervous around him before, was she? That didn't make sense at all.

At her words he nodded, before he looked straight ahead, watching students pass them by as the regular afternoon classes had ended. He put his elbows on his knees, supporting his weight as he leaned forward, and she started wondering what he was thinking about.

She couldn't read him at all.

But she wished she could.

"I'm sorry," he said and now she furrowed her eyebrows. What was he apologizing for? "I should've listened to your opinion before deciding on a plan. I didn't even know...that you were afraid of speaking your mind. So I'm really sorry," while saying it, he looked at her again, mostly over his shoulder and she smiled softly.

"You couldn't have known," she said, "Don't apologize for that."

"Was it…Is it true that the reason you didn't speak your mind since the sports festival was…," he paused, looked down for a second, before he took a breath and looked at her, now with an… almost sad undertone to it, "…me?"

Momo's eyes widened. H-How did he know?

And why did he look so sad while asking that?

"No, well, kind of, a little, maybe," she stammered, before sighing and putting the stray hairs behind her ear again.

"I just felt like we should've been on similar levels, as we both entered UA through recommendations," she was leaning on her knees as well, making sure he looked at her, "but the gap I witnessed at the sports festival…was too big."

"I'm so-"

"Don't apologize," she said strictly and he closed his mouth, "I didn't know…that you thought so much of me." Closing her eyes, she put a hand on her chest, right above her heart when she started to feel it getting faster again. W-Why…was this happening? What was this?

He was suspiciously quiet and she saw him leaning back again, looking at the tree branches hanging over their heads and her eyes quickly traced his face down to his adam's apple, before she blinked and tried to calm down. She couldn't blush now, he'd see it!

"You know," he started, furrowing his eyebrows, "without your plan we would've failed." She tilted her head.

"What do you mean?" she asked carefully.

He was quiet again and she wondered what it was about this time. It didn't have anything to do with the panic attack he'd had the other day, had it?

"All I ever learned…was how to control my Quirk," he didn't look at her while talking, rather staring at the trees on the other side of the paved way towards the school entrance, "But now I realize that it's the one thing I rely on too much."

She couldn't say anything to that. It was true. Against enemies like Aizawa, who could erase people's Quirks, he still relied on his powers too much. Having a double Quirk must've taken a lot of time to control, leaving little to none to hand-to-hand combat in the short times they had after school.

If he didn't already train before that, that means. After all, with Endeavor as father, he must've started his training earlier then most of their classmates.

But what could she do to help him with that?

She had an idea.

"What…What if we trained together from time to time? I mean, without Quirks, just fists and maybe a staff or sword or something?"

If he said yes now, he'd outright say that she was worth training with him. Her, with the number two of the sports festival, son of the number two hero, one of the strongest people in her class.

It seemed unbelievable.

"I'd like that," he answered, still not looking at her.

He'd said it. Momo started smiling, happy at the thought of being able to spend more time with the boy sitting next to her.

Who'd voted for her as class representative, when they'd only known each other for a day.

Trusted her with his questions about social norms and habits.

Saved her when she was all alone and confused in front of a place she'd never seen before.

And she'd saved him when Midoriya called her that night.

"Yaoyorozu, you couldn't even know…" he started, looking at her out of the corner of his eye, "how highly I think of you. I don't want to see you like this again."

Her heart could've combusted in her chest as hard it beat at that moment.

"Why?" she whispered breathless.

Time seemed to move in slow motion as he turned his head towards her, blinking slowly, facial expression as deadpan as ever. She payed attention to every move he made, every move of his dual colored hair.

And when his eyes made contact with hers, her heart skipped a beat.

The only sound surrounding them were the silent songs the birds were singing around them. The leaves rustling as the wind brushed through the trees, the distant steps of people leaving the school building and Momo hoped no one she knew saw them.

Because that moment should never end.

He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something before closing it again.

Her heartbeat was getting faster and she could still feel a blush creeping up her neck, so she suddenly wished her hair wasn't tied so it'd cover it up.

Taking a deep breath, he spoke.

"Because you're my friend and I can't stand to see you down."

He'd said it.

He finally understood it.

She started to smile brightly.

But why did 'friend' suddenly hurt so much?

It was great, she'd wanted him to accept her as a friend after all!

There was nothing wrong with it, so why did it feel like she could cry? That didn't make any sense.

Quietly, she kept looking into his eyes, at a complete loss for words as she didn't understand herself at all.

"I'm glad," she answered, voice nothing more as a breathy whisper.

He looked away again and she witnessed another of his tiny smiles, before he got up from the bench, turning around to her.

"See you at the summer camp, Yaoyorozu," he said, eyes looking at a place far away.

Momo painfully smiled at him, her nerves still tense. When she didn't answer, he picked up his bag and started walking, only looking over his shoulder for a moment, when she overcame herself.

"Todoroki," she said loudly and he looked her in the eyes again, facial expression back to normal.

If she didn't say something now, she felt like she'd never get the chance to.

Once he left, she'd be alone with her fate, her future husband that was waiting to meet her tomorrow evening – it felt like it was the last chance she had.

But what was she supposed to say?

"See you," she whispered and he half-smirked, but the smile didn't reach his eyes, as he nodded at her.

Just…What was she supposed to do…?

"Did you pass?" Endeavor had asked as soon as Shouto entered the house. He hadn't even taken off his shoes or put his bag in his room, or even said hello.

"Yeah," Shouto answered half-heartedly.

"Great! I knew you'd be able to do it," Endeavor said, nodding with a creepy smile that the son only came to see when he'd done either incredibly well, or incredibly bad. And he really didn't have the motivation to deal with either. "What was the task?" his father then asked while crossing his arms in front of his broad chest, flames turned off for the moment as he'd already changed out of his hero costume – even though it was unusual his beard wasn't on fire.

"Fighting teachers," he answered while taking off his white sneakers, not even bothering to look at the man in front of him. Why was he home this early again?

Right, he'd left his office to his sidekicks for the weekend, just to be sure his son was prepared for the meeting with his future wife. Shouto was already working out plans to avoid him for as much time as possible.

"You fought teachers? And won?" Endeavor asked excitedly.

"Yeah, was teamed up with Yaoyorozu," Shouto spared him a side glance as he put the second shoe down and stood up straight.

"Yao…yorozu?" he then asked like he was thinking about something, "That's-"

"I don't wanna hear you say anything about her, I'm off," Shouto interrupted him, stalking past him, ignoring his father calling his name as he walked up the stairs and into his room.

Putting his bag next to his desk, he let himself fall onto the Tatami mats, staring at the ceiling.

Every little carve, every crack in the cement was familiar to him.

Today…was a confusing day.

They won. They fought Aizawa and they won. Even though they definitely wouldn't have if it wasn't for her plan. He'd gotten captured in less than two minutes, relying on his Quirk in the fight against an erasure Quirk.

She was smart and she was strong, cracking open his icy shell with every word she said, every question of his she answered, giving him the courage to let others get close to him.

And he'd finally understood why she couldn't see that.

Why she was blind to her own strength.

He should've noticed, shouldn't he? In all those times they'd spent together – they'd talked and talked until the world went dark - he should've seen that the one holding her back was himself.

He didn't know, he really didn't know. How did he not know?

Annoyed, he ruffled his hair. Maybe he was an idiot after all.

How could he think of himself as her friend when he couldn't even see something so grave?

What he said had been true – he couldn't stand to see her down.

He did not want to be the one to hold her down.

She had so much potential – so much power and will that he was sure she'd become a better hero than all of them together.

And he'd be damned if he stopped her from achieving all that.

Sighing he got up and walked over to the window, opening the paper and wood to see outside.

He could hear crickets chirping in the background as he looked up, searching for stars.

There were none to be seen, the urban lights making it impossible for any stars to shine.

Clenching his hands around the lower wooden frame, he realized that they were shaking.

Was he really that nervous? Or was he angry? Why?

Okay, that was a dumb question when he thought about what would happen tomorrow.

He didn't want to meet the girl. He was afraid.

Afraid of what she'd think of him. She didn't have the right to choose either. Did she have a better life growing up? He didn't want to disappoint her, yet he knew there was no other reaction possible.

He was stuck in this situation, everything was going to turn real. He was damn engaged and he wasn't ready for that at all. He'd thought it wouldn't matter, knowing everything would turn out like this. It had been a lie. It did matter. A lot.

How was he going to explain that she shouldn't anticipate affection, because he couldn't give it? He couldn't even let a nice woman hold his hands for longer than a minute before breaking down.

He was so angry at all of this. When he realized his left hand starting to steam, he quickly pulled it away from the wood, not wanting to deal with a burning house today.

Shaking his head he went back in before he saw that single light in the sky.

Was that-

No, it wasn't a plane.

What was it called?

The north star?

Something like that.

He hadn't thought it possible for him to see a single star tonight.

What was the possibility of that happening, today of all days?

Smiling at the beautiful little star, completely alone in a dark, milky sky, he calmed down.

The star reminded him of fireworks. Of peaceful, beautiful nights with a certain raven haired girl that somehow didn't want to leave his head whatever happened.

Thinking of her grounded him, like an anchor making sure he wouldn't drown in his doubts.

Maybe, if he just kept thinking of her, everything would turn out okay.

As she made everything okay.

She was his hero after all.

Both today, as well as that night at the Midoriya's, or the Ennichi festival, or that night in front of school, she was always the person saving him from himself.

Shouto went to bed that night, not thinking of an uncertain, unknown girl, but of a girl he trusted more than himself.

He was a child, stumbling in footsteps way too big for him, without a way out of the snowfield, out of the storm keeping him in place.

Maybe, if he wasn't alone - but with her by his side, it wouldn't be so bad, whatever they came across in this storm of a world.

"Kyouka? Do you have time right now?" Momo asked the girl on the phone.
"Yaomomo, it's almost midnight. Shouldn't you reprimand me for even being awa-" The purple haired girl started.

"Wait, are you crying?" Jirou then asked carefully. Momo sniffed into the phone, putting a hand in front of her mouth to stop the hiccups.

"Uh-huh," was her only answer.

Momo was sitting on her bed, wearing her pajamas while her hair was already let down so she could sleep. Yet she couldn't sleep. She was twisting and turning in her bed but all she could think about was that she was engaged. It didn't bother her as much over the last week, but why did it start now?!

She could hear rustling on the other side of the line, before she heard a click, as if a light was turned on, before her best friend answered again.

"What happened?" she then asked with a strong voice, trying her best to not further frighten or sadden her crying friend.

The black haired girl didn't answer. She let herself fall back on her bed, putting an arm over her eyes so she would finally stop crying but it didn't work at all. But she knew she had to talk. She couldn't just hang up on her friend now that she already knew she was crying.

Momo took a deep, shaky breath which was interrupted with a hiccup.

"I-I am engaged," she whispered and her voice broke. The lump that was building in her throat stopped her from saying anything more. Her crying got worse again. She didn't want to cry. She really didn't want to. It was okay after all, she told herself again! It was completely okay!

But why is it that she couldn't stop crying if everything was okay?

"Engaged?" Jirou asked carefully before the line went silent again. Momo couldn't hear the shaky breath that her friend took on the other side of the line as her own crying was too loud.

"Momo…That's- What- Why?" her friend then asked quickly.

"S-Since...5 y-years," she stuttered between her heavy breaths.

"It's okay. Calm down. Take deep breaths," Kyouka instructed calmly. After the incident at USJ they bonded and became friends really quickly. They did a lot together outside of school and hung out a lot. They also knew they could talk to each other about anything. That's also how Jirou knew just how to calm down her usually so rational friend. She had only seen her cry once. And that was after the sports festival, after her loss against Tokoyami and when her feeling of uselessness overwhelmed her, she started crying.

Momo did her best to do what her friend said.

"In. Out," she repeated again and again, as she realized that Momo slowly stopped hysterically crying, "There we go."

Jirou took another deep breath. Now she just needed to find out the reason for her friend's crying.

"You were engaged…since you were five years old?"

"Uh-huh," Momo repeated, to which Jirou exhaled slowly, trying to keep calm herself.

"I-It's okay though," the black haired girl started when her breathing had calmed even more, "I don't care about dating anyway. My parents asked for my permission and I accepted."

Jirou'd known Momo long enough. And she clearly remembered all of the times they did indeed talk about boys in the hero course. There was also a certain half and half boy that Momo insisted she only harbored admiration for.

That's when Jirou realized it.

Momo was never a girl to cry because of something her parents asked her to do. She had also accepted instead of rejecting her parents' plan. Well, the plan couldn't really get rejected if she really was engaged for over ten years, but she could've still tried to fight it. But she didn't.

"Why didn't you try to fight it?" the smaller girl insisted, "Yaoyorozu Momo, don't lie to yourself."

That seemed to break the dam.

"I don't know, Kyouka! I don't know why I didn't fight it! I-…I-"

The hiccups started again and Momo put a hand on her chest, pounding it softly in a heartbeat like manner.

"My parents only want my best," she whispered.

"But…Why does it hurt that much?" she asked the purple haired girl on the other line.

"Yaomomo…" was all Jirou could say. The purple haired girl twirled her jacks while contemplating what she could say to help her friend.

"You like him, don't you?" she then asked slowly.

Momo stayed quiet. She let her hand fall to her side, and stared the ceiling.

She would've said no.

She really would've.

But the fact that she knew who Jirou was talking about without her having said any names, told her everything.

Her mind automatically thought about him.

"I-," Momo started but interrupted herself. She wiped the tears away.

Was that why she cried in the first place?

Not about her engagement…but about the fact that she couldn't ever even try it with him?

All along, he was special.

Whatever she did, she thought of him. Whether it be her own powers, admiring him for something he did or just staring at the sunset brought back memories of that night.

That night outside of school. How they so easily connected even though they hadn't really talked outside the sports festival.

How they kept talking - texting all throughout the field training and even afterwards.

Sure, there were instances where she didn't understand him at all – But she guessed that was fine. That was why he was so fascinating. She saw how nice he actually was underneath that icy exterior, which was steadily melting since the sports festival.

The Ennichi-festival, where she only looked at him sleeping and her mind ran wild. Her thoughts ran wild, her heart couldn't stop beating faster and faster.

She always said it was just admiration – and it was so difficult to be around him with her own feeling of inferiority. But that feeling was gone, it had completely disappeared, leaving her alone with something she couldn't understand.

Today…after finals. He'd restored her faith in herself. He'd saved her from destroying her own dream.

So it really was true? It really was?

How did this happen?

All of this…didn't even have a chance in the first place.

The world was against them in every way – and he didn't even feel the same, obviously.

But she guessed her heart, her brain, wasn't rational when it was about him.

She could feel new tears on her cheeks, could trace them falling down her temples as she was lying in her bed. But she wasn't sobbing.

She was calm.

"I think I do," she whispered, "I like Todoroki Shouto."

Notes:

AAAAND another cliffhanger. She finally realized it. She finally accepted it.
But what will that change in the things to come?

What did you think of Dadzawa-action? I'd love to include more of that, so tell me what you think.

How about their interaction? Did the title match, even though only one of them dared to give it a name?

Jirou is best bro, officially.

I can say, next chapter, finally, is going to be THE DAY. Let's see where the words take me.

How some of you may have realized - I took out the 32 for chapters out. I'm already failing at keeping everything as short/long as I planned it out to be. It surely will be around that length, but I won't put a number there because I'll never ever manage to stay to that haha (I'm so sorry for being like that) For example: I wanted them to meet in chapter 4 in my plot-doc. You see how well that worked, right?
Also, I wanted to ask...are the chapter's to long? Would you want me to rather keep the chapter's short and make it more of them? I'm always cutting them where it seems most possible for a cut and enough progress of the plot.

Everyone, have a beautiful day! Tell me what you think :D

Chapter 10: What if I warned you, you can't outrun your fate?

Summary:

Here's to the Heartache - Nothing More

Fate's jokes are going too far in throwing together two bound souls - yet...how will they react to the revelation?

Notes:

Guys. GUYS! I don't know where I'm supposed to start, oh lord.
14. Really, 14 comments to the latest chapter?! I'm so flashed. I'm so through. I love you all, officially. You're the best - you can't even know how much that motivates me. I'm literally crying because I'm so happy.

Okay, I'm gonna calm down now!

Here's THE DAY! It's finally heeere!

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

She didn't understand herself.

How did this happen?

All this time, ever since they'd first met, she had held respect for him. Respect for his strength, respect for his wits and determination.

But when…When did that admiration turn into this mess?

A Mess, Momo thought, that's all her mind was now.

She was engaged. She knew she was, and she had to be incredibly dumb not to notice what happened.

Nothing, nothing really happened between them.

So when did it change?

When did she fall for him?

It's not like he even did anything, or was interested in her. Why would he be, after all?

Was it during the festival, where they'd watched the fireworks together?

Was it during finals, where he'd shown her that her fear, her feeling of worthlessness was completely uncalled for?

No, she decided, it was neither.

Because there was no real time, no point in their interactions where she could say 'Yep, that's the moment'. There wasn't anything even similar to that.

She didn't know when her heart started beating like crazy when she was around him, or when it started jumping once he smiled. It just did, one day, all of a sudden.

That's a lie, she scolded herself, it wasn't sudden at all.

There was no exact point in time she could point out, as the change didn't happen overnight.

It was slow, how they changed. How their connection grew.

She had given him the courage to call her a friend and now she was here.

She was here, she was engaged, and she was in love with Todoroki Shouto.

Ruffling her hair, Momo looked at the clock on her bedside table. It was sometime after four in the morning and she couldn't sleep. She twisted, she turned, but she couldn't calm down enough to let her eyes rest. Why, just why did she have to understand it now?

She didn't know what to do with the knowledge. It's not like she could do anything, not at all.

There was a man she didn't know, who she'd meet today, and whom she was going to marry soon.

Had she understood it earlier…Would they have gone on dates?

Were the coincidental meetings they had dates?

Probably not, she realized while pursing her lips. Why would they be after all? It's not like either one of them planned to meet.

She had said she didn't know if she believed in fate.

And it's not like she knew now – it was just…impossible for all of this to be a coincidence, wasn't it?

Yet, if it was fate, it was a petty joke.

There was another man in her life. One she'd meet tonight.

Her chest constricted at the thought. Her heart hurt.

She didn't want it to be anyone else. Didn't want it to be some boy she'd maybe seen once when they were kids. There was only one boy in her mind and yes, it might seem dumb.

It was silly. It was dumb. It was irrational and childish thinking, worse than every romance novel she'd ever read – but she wanted it to be him.

Momo fell asleep that night, that morning, with a silent prayer on her lips, even when she didn't usually pray.

She prayed for a miracle.

It's not like Shouto ever slept really well. He never did, since he could remember. Once his father had started training him, his mind was always prepared. Prepared for a surprise attack while sleeping, prepared for the need to defend quickly.

But that he was awake because his mind wouldn't stop sputtering out terrible thoughts? That had only happened once before.

The night before he met his mother again. Before he got over his fear, over his feeling of guilt, he couldn't sleep. It was the same as it was now.

He was lying here, on top of his blanket because it was too warm, with the window open, because it was too stuffy and his face in the pillow because he'd loved to scream into it if it weren't for the paper walls. It wasn't like him at all – he was never that nervous.

But he had never dealt with a situation like that before either…so what was he supposed to do anyway?

If that girl was the same? Thinking about this merciless, hopeless situation they were in?

What she was doing right now?

Was she awake, thinking about their meeting?

Crying, because she was afraid of what's to come?

Shouto knew he wasn't crying – he never really did by himself. Even when he thought about his mother's words he couldn't cry. After all those years of being alone in this giant house, always under his father's watch, he'd stopped his cries. It's not like it would've changed anything after all.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do. What if she started crying because of him? Because he was an ugly genetic experiment? Because she'd have to leave everything behind, her name, her life, her independence for a boy she'd never even met?

No matter who she was, she didn't deserve to end up with a wreck like him.

With a wreck like his family.
His abusive father, absent siblings and his sister, who was at least trying but couldn't put the shattered pieces that were him back together.

He didn't think anyone could do that.

After reading through multiple internet sites, he'd found out a few things about that fear Midoriya had talked to him about. For one, most of the symptoms weren't far off. Not at all.

On the other had, he'd read about therapy techniques.

And he didn't like any of them.

He knew touch didn't have to be dangerous, didn't have to cause him pain, so talking about his problems wouldn't do any good – also, he didn't want to talk about his life story again and again.

The easiest possibility left was conditioning. Confronting. Practicing closeness with a trusted person.

He didn't like that.

There wasn't anyone he could do that with anyway. His mother's hugs were okay, but she was his mother, the only person he ever truly loved – so what was he supposed to do?

Maybe, yeah maybe, there was one other person he had a strong enough emotional connection to.

And he would never, ever, pull her into this messy situation his life was.

"Lady Yaoyorozu," a voice said and Momo silently cried while opening her eyes to Ari opening the curtains, just to close them again in a second because it was incredibly bright outside.

Annoyed at the stray hair that got stuck on her nose, she blew air upwards, just to see the hair stay the same. Blinking a few times, she adapted to the sunlight streaming through her window.

"It's time to get up," the grey haired woman whispered smiling, standing right in front of her. Momo flinched and buried her face with her blanket.

"Five minutes…" she whispered roughly. She knew her parents. It definitely wasn't after eight in the morning. No time to get up after staying awake until way too late at night. Sleeping for another hour wouldn't make her late for her meeting in the evening, would it? Definitely not. So it was only logical to slee-

She couldn't finish her thought as the blanket was ripped from her and she whimpered at the sudden cold.

"Lady Yaoyorozu," Ari started again and Momo blinked at her, pouting her lips, "breakfast is ready. The stylist will come at one in the afternoon, so we'll need to get you cleaned up and dressed so you can go through the manner handbook with your mother again."

Momo had to admit she wouldn't remember any of that in a few seconds as she was still mentally asleep.

Reluctantly, she sat up and wiped her knotty dark hair out of her face, throwing her feet over the edge of the bed and slipping into the bright red robe her maid held out for her.

Time for a little morning shower.

He never understood people who were happy right after waking up.

Because he was not.

Half asleep, eyes not even fully opened, Shouto sat in his usual spot at the kitchen table. Not in the living room, where his father had started preparing all kinds of documents on the Kotatsu, a black haired lawyer advising him on the contract to be made tonight.

Shouto had decided to stay away as far as possible. So he'd taken place in the kitchen, where Fuyumi was preparing breakfast. It wasn't even nine in the morning and the Todoroki household was in a rush. He could literally feel how flimsy and nervous his sister was.

Funny, he thought, as the one supposed to be nervous was him.

He wasn't anymore, though. He was just tired. Tired and annoyed.

"How are you?" she asked, putting a place with freshly cooked rice in front of him.

Blinking slowly, he took a spoon of rice and put it in his mouth.

"Fine," he said dryly. It was a pretty obvious lie. His sister was chewing on her lower lip as she took place opposite him, pushing back her glasses.

While he ate in silence, she took the newspapers lying on the table, opening it at a random page.
He could see her eyeing him over the edge, but the only thing to be heard was the quiet chatter of the people in the room next to them.

Sighing, she put the paper down, looking at him. He stopped mid-motion in spooning his food.

"Shouto," she said and he nodded slowly, "I…I know I can't do anything to make this right."

He blinked before furrowing his brows. Where was she going with this?

"Please," she started, leaning forward and moving to take one of his hands, stopping when he pulled away. He had to admit, he was a little scared after the incident at the Midoriya's. Even though his sister's touch hadn't made him panic before. He didn't want to risk it.

If his father found out, he'd be incredibly mad.

Fuyumi smiled sadly, moving her hand back, "Please remember I'll always be here. I know we haven't had a lot of time together and you don't trust me all that much either, but I want to try. I want to be there for you," she said, her eyes getting a little glassy, so Shouto put the spoon down to give her full attention, "I just wanted you to know that."

He nodded carefully, unsure of what to feel. His mind wasn't able to process any of this. It didn't make sense, her words were simple, her words were loving. But he was still confused.

She took a deep breath, a tear escaping her aqua blue eyes, which she quickly wiped away.

"Remember you're not alone. Not anymore," her shaky voice said, nothing more than a whisper, "I just want you to be happy. I want all of us to be happy and I know that's a faraway dream, but-" she interrupted herself, more tears escaping her eyes.

"It's okay to dream, I think," he said without thought, "Thank you, Fuyumi."

He wasn't optimistic. He was sure this dream wouldn't come true – Not how things are like now. But who was he to tell anyone that their dreams couldn't come true, when he was the one clinging to that hope all his life?

Wiping away another tear, his sister smiled at him, her eyes full of warmth.

"Blue or red?" her mother asked, holding two dresses in her hands, looking back and forth between them. The dark Yaoyorozu trademark hair was put up beautifully, yet still all about business. Big eyes framed by dark, long lashes, decorated with neat, black eyeliner, were looking at her daughter's form.

Momo was standing there, wearing a dark blue silk robe, hair still in a white towel, as she looked the dresses over. The blue one was long, extremely so. Even with heels, she'd have difficulty walking. Wouldn't that be a little too much for a first meeting? But what if he was going to wear a suit, was she going to look underdressed? Her mother would certainly make sure that's not the case, but still.

The red dress was short, not overly so, but maybe knee length. It was fluffy though, decorated with a small bow at the waist.
She was sure she wouldn't like wearing that one. She wasn't a present, decorated with bows and ribbons.

"Blue," she answered her mother, nodding quickly. The older woman mirrored the gesture and handed her the dress.
While the younger Yaoyorozu used her private bathroom to change, her mother took place on her daughter's bed and started skipping through a book, Momo was sure of that.

"Mom?" Momo asked loudly.

"Yes, darling?" The answer came fast, so the girl zipped the dress up, being happy for the hero training and her flexible arms so she was actually able to reach all the way up.

"How did you meet dad?" she asked her once she left the bathroom, surprised by her mother's reaction.

"First of all: You look incredible, little one," her mother said, getting up and gently placing the fine straps of the dress on her shoulders, as the dress gently fanned out below her hips, being tight but still comfortable around her chest and waist area. Momo smiled at her mother, nervous, but more interested in an answer to her question.

Understanding the lack of an answer from her daughter, Itsume Yaoyorozu put her hands on her daughter's shoulders.

"Your father and I were in an arranged marriage as well," she started and Momo's eyes widened, "Not the same as you, as I had a few options to choose from, but no one in this family ever met under normal circumstances," she then explained, smiling painfully, "I wish we could've broken that tradition in our generation, but we made a mistake and it pains me that the one paying for it has to be you, my lovely little girl."

"It's okay, mom," Momo replied, shocked by the sudden revelation. "Did you…Did you fall in love with dad?" She then asked and her mother nodded smiling.

"I did, even if it took me a while."

"How?" Momo asked.

Maybe it was going to be possible?

Maybe she could forget about the man that kept coming to her mind whenever she thought of her future when falling in love with the man she was going to meet tonight?

Her chest constricted at the thought. She didn't want to forget about him. She…She wanted it to be him, somewhere deep down in her mind.

"I think that is a story for another time. Believe me if I say that you can trust me in that, but I think you're going to like him right away."

Momo furrowed her brows. H-How did she get this idea?

Just what did she know?

But right, she didn't even know her daughter was crushing on a classmate. Of course it would be easier to like someone else if you didn't give your heart to anyone else beforehand.

"Momo," Itsume started and the girl looked into her eyes again, "If you think I don't know about your little crush, you're thinking wrong," she said smiling smugly.

W-wait. What?

"M-Mom?"

How did she know?

What did that mean?

Th-There is no way – just…what did her mother know that she didn't?

"Misses Yaoyorozu, the stylist is here," Ari said after knocking politely.

"Perfect," Momo's mother replied, leading her daughter out of the room, effectively leaving her alone with her thoughts.

"Alright, everything is set up," Endeavor said, entering the boy's room without knocking. Shouto was buttoning the last buttons of the dark grey dress shirt he was wearing. He felt oddly out of place, oddly uncomfortable, wearing a suit.

Annoyed, he looked at his father when the last button was done.

He didn't answer him. What was he supposed to say anyway? 'Yeah, nice, thanks for nothing,' wouldn't be the best answer to start off this day.

Taking the bluish tie out of a drawer he wondered why the older was still standing in the doorframe.

"Don't make any necessary problems tonight. I don't want to see you trying to rebel again when you've just started accepting yourself," his father said, arms crossed before his chest, already wearing a black suit.

Taking a deep breath, Shouto dismissed the nonsense he was sputtering and started tying his tie. It didn't work too well, though. He knew he was bad with fine-motorics, his joints usually cranky and stiff because of the temperature differences, but he didn't think it would make a problem with something like that. Annoyed, he breathed out slowly again, closing his eyes for a moment. He'd need to practice how to put on ties more so his hands would get used to the motion. It had been the same with tying his shoelaces. Extra effort made it possible.

When he heard steps, he opened his eyes again to glare at the man standing in front of him, effectively looking upwards.

"I'll help you with that," he said, taking the tie out of the younger's hands.

Was he…just being nice?
That didn't make sense, not at all.

Shouto let his hands fall to his sides.
He couldn't believe his eyes.

Was he still asleep? His father never showed any effort, so what was he doing now? Was that going to be a scheme?
Tying the tie on his own neck, Enji pulled it over his head to place it at Shouto's collar.

"You've grown up well," he said, fastening it and righting the collar of the dress shirt underneath.

Speechless, Shouto let him.

'You rock, girl', Kyouka's message read. Momo smiled at it solemnly, eyeing the hair stylist out of the corner of her eye. He had gracefully styled blonde hair, matching blue eyes and seemed to be sporting his late twenties. Of course her mother had someone fly in from Europe.

'I'm scared,' she answered the text honestly, taking a deep breath to calm herself down. It was going to be okay, she told herself.

But she couldn't get over what her mother said.

She knew of her crush. But did she know who it was on?

Why would she say it was going to be okay if she knew who she liked when she was about to be thrown into a Quirk marriage with someone else?

'What of exactly?' Kyouka answered.

'Everything," she replied, starting to feel her hands shake.

'I hope for the best, Yaomomo. Feel free to tell me everything, if you want,' the answer came fast, making Momo smile sadly at her phone.

Oh yeah, she was hoping, she was praying for the best as well.

"Do you really not want me to style back your hair?" Fuyumi asked smiling, holding comb and hair gel in her hand.

"Absolutely not," was his abrupt reply. No way. He would not gel his hair back, just so the girl would get an extra heart attack with the extremely prominent scar that covered half his face.

"Let me at least comb it," she tried to argue and he looked at her, as deadpan as ever, making her smile in a tight line.

"Alright," he answered, rather unhappy. Her smile turned wide as she moved to get some kind of sense into the two-toned mess.

Shouto buttoned up his white suit jacket's last buttons while sighing deeply.

"You look absolutely stunning," her father said dreamily while the stylist finished up the vibrant peachy lipgloss. Looking at her form in the mirror, Momo's eyes widened again. Sure, she'd been able to see the whole process, but now that she could see it completed with her dress, it looked so different, so complete.

She looked so different, yet still the same. Her eyes were framed by a decent dark line, accentuating her long lashes, as her dark hair fell in soft waves over her shoulders.

"Thanks, dad," she answered, smiling at him through the mirror. His smile turned sad as he gently put a hand on her cheek, turning the chair around to face him.

"My little girl," he whispered, "I can't believe this is happening."

"It's too late for that, dad," she answered smiling playfully. Her father wouldn't feel insulted, she knew that. He might make it into a joke, but he wouldn't take it to heart too much, "After tonight you'll have to argue with another man for holding my hand."

Gasping, he put a hand on his heart, totally in his role.

"Oh no, that can't be! I will make sure he knows not to hurt my princess!" he said before bursting out laughing.

"Please don't scare the kid, Hitotsu," her mother chimed in, entering the room.

"I will, I surely will!" he answered incredulously and the older woman shook her head.
Momo smiled.

Maybe, one day, were they going to have a beautiful dynamic like that as well?

The car drive was shorter than Shouto anticipated it to be. It was warm outside, the sky clear blue without any clouds.
His father was sitting to his right again, leaving Fuyumi at home. The driver had closed the toned glass separating the front from the back seat.

"Mind your manners tonight. They are used to European etiquette," Enji said and Shouto furrowed his brows.
European…etiquette?

That reminded him of someone he knew way too much.

Looking out of the window, he recognized the scenery. He may have been asleep most of the drive back then…But he knew that. He knew this area. He had definitely been here before.

The toned glass was let down a little, the driver chiming in "We're almost there," he said.

Shouto looked to his right, out of the window by his father's side.

He knew this place.

Only when he read the name on the sign at the high stone wall and the metallic gate opened, he realized what was happening.

No, was all he could think, this was all just a dream.

This couldn't be true.

It couldn't be her.

It couldn't.

Not her.

"The table is prepared, tea is on the stove. They're going to arrive soon," Itsume Yaoyorozu said while coming out of the kitchen, having checked if the personnel finished preparing.

"Alright, darling, you look incredibly pretty, but a smile would make it perfect," she then told her daughter, smiling at her sadly. Momo could see in her eyes that she understood, yet the etiquette they lived by made sure to tell her about her little mishap.

Quickly Momo faked a little smile, completely ignoring how her chest started to hurt more and more, how it became too much for her to handle. She wouldn't cry, she swore herself. They'd be there in a few minutes.

Then she'd find out. Understand and get to know with whom she was supposed to form a family.
With whom she was supposed to grow old with.

Taking a deep shaky breath she pulled her dress nice and flat, before walking after her mother who'd long gone into the living room.

They wouldn't serve the tea in the dining hall as her parents wanted a friendlier atmosphere before discussing the contract during dinner.
"I think it's because they eat on the floor anyway," a maid quietly chuckled. Shocked, Momo turned around to her, just to see brown eyes turn wide before she bowed quietly, apologizing under her breath.

They…eat on the floor?

"I heard they're pretty traditional Japanese," another maid chimed in from behind a corner, bowing as well when she saw the raven haired girl.
Oh. So they ate while sitting on the floor. That made a lot more sense.

Breathing out quickly, she put on her white sandals with little heels, trying her best to calm her breathing.

Ari was walking up to her, putting a little bracelet in her hand.
Momo quickly recognized it. She'd made it when she was seven.
White marble orbs, each and every one made herself.

"A-Ari?" she asked, almost choking on a breath.
The older woman smiled at her, her smile line wrinkling.

"You gifted that to me many years ago. As a lucky charm," she explained, taking the bracelet again and putting it on the younger's wrist, "I think you need that luck more than me right now, Momo."

Blinking a few times, Momo made sure not to cry. Her mother would get angry if her make up got ruined.

"Thank you so much," she whispered instead and hugged the older woman, recognizing how she let out a surprised gasp.

Momo's back was gently stroked, but she pulled away when she heard the doorbell.

Oh no. She didn't even have enough time to prepare her mind.
What was she gonna do?

This was all happening too fast.

Never in her life would she have guessed the next words that left the maid that opened the door's mouth.
"The Todoroki's have arrived," she said loudly.

It was like time moved in slow motion.
Everything fell into place.

The…Todoroki's?

Like in…his name?

No, she thought to herself, maybe she misheard? It was definitely someone else. It wouldn't be him.

This…couldn't be, could it?

Shouto had always believed in the existence of fate.
But what kind of petty joke was it playing on him now?

Why…why for heck's sake was it her?

Why was it the one person he had a emotional connection to?

Was he supposed to ruin it all? This…this…couldn't be true.

His father rang the doorbell, looking down at him again to furrow his brows when he saw his son's shocked facial expression.

Had he known? Was that his objective again? Destroying everything Shouto had so he'd end up alone again?

Taking away everything he-…he-

She could hear her mother's voice beckoning her over.

Her feet moved on their own.

This was all just a dream, wasn't it? She'd definitely heard it wrong, hadn't she?

There she was, raven hair, onyx eyes.
The evening sun letting her glow almost ethereal.

It felt like they were alone, voices of the people around them so far away.
Eyes wide, she looked at him.

So she hadn't known either.

Was this…really happening right now? Was he dreaming?

It was real. It really was real.

He didn't know either, she realized, looking into his beautiful widened heterochromatic eyes, getting lost for a moment.
Only a slight jab in the back by her mother pulled her out of it.

Everything…this…didn't make sense, did it?

This wasn't possible, was it?

Here they were, two kids, thrown together by so many coincidences, that if you ever stopped believing in fate, it wouldn't make sense anymore.

They stared at each other for a moment longer.

"Todoroki Shouto," she whispered.

"Yaoyorozu Momo," he replied.

"It's," she started,

"You," they whispered together.

Notes:

And here was THE DAY (part 1)!

What did you think? Was it good? I'm so sorry to have you hanging off a cliff again, but...well, what can I do? I at least kept my promise and finally let them meet.

I hope you liked how their first reactions turned out :D

What did you think of Fuyumi's little dream for the future?
And Momo's mom knowing something she didn't?

What about their reactions? Did you guess right in how they would react? :D

Trivia: I made up the name's for Momo's parents. Both are jokes with Japanese numbers which I threw together to form names.

Feel free to tell me in the comments or on tumblr - I'm so hyped, so so hyped because of how well this story seems to be received - I don't even know what I'm supposed to say. I'm literally still shaking.

(I'm also not sure if I can even get the meeting in two parts. I'll plan with three for now)

Everyone, have a beautiful day!

Chapter 11: How do you love when your heart is broken?

Summary:

I'll Be Ok - Nothing More

Summer nights. A broken soul and his anchor marvelling in words unspoken and with the connection they formed - what will be their outcome?

Notes:

I...don't know where to start.

Just - I got almost 20 comments for the latest chapter - and...just...what? I'm so confused but so happy, I don't know how this suddenly happened but I'm so, soo happy and that's why you'll get this chapter a day early! (I definitely gave it my all to write it as fast as possible xD) But really, if it gets any more, I might combust from happiness. Which is an invitation, please do that more often haha. I also got like almost 50 Kudos for ONE CHAPTER? This is so - I can't even believe this.

Anyway, back to the point!

Here is THE DAY (part 2)! :D

I hope you'll like it! :D

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Unbelievable.

This whole thing was nothing less than unbelievable.

She was engaged to Todoroki Shouto. Had been, ever since they were five years old.

Todoroki Shouto, whom she had a crush on. She had felt bad because she had a crush on a classmate even though she was engaged to another man.

But what was she supposed to feel, when the other man and him had been the same from the beginning? Was that why her mother had said she'd like him right away? Because she knew she had a crush on him? Was it that obvious all along? Why didn't she tell her? If she knew…why didn't she just say it?

So much trouble, so many of her terrible, confusing thoughts had been for nothing.

It didn't make this situation okay, not at all – But it was him after all.

Yet…why did he look so distant?

Once everyone had taken place on the living room couches, she'd tried to read the look on his face.

Obviously, he was confused. She was as well.

Still, the relief she felt, the rock falling from her heart didn't seem to reach him.

He looked sad, incredibly sad. He hadn't even spoken a word after their officially shocking meeting.

But as she looked at him, she couldn't do anything else except find him absolutely stunning. Again, she thought about the term 'handsome', yet it couldn't even come close to what she thought of him. Two toned hair, looking even smoother than usual. Downcast eyes, set on his hands, putting his dual colored eyebrows and eyelashes into scene. How he slightly leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. He looked incredible in his white suit. In movies, they always seemed to look over the top wearing white – yet he didn't.

Well, of course, if you'd ask her, he could've worn a potato sack and still be as gorgeous as ever.

Momo couldn't even express how relieved she was. How glad she was it wasn't a stranger. But she didn't know any more about him than a stranger, did she?

He had been a mystery from the start, a book closed shut, a wall of ice protecting a gentle soul – and she'd seen a few glimpses of what was beyond the shields. Still, she'd never seen everything.

Oh, there were so many things she knew he was hiding. Panic attacks? Antisocial tendencies? Those were only her observations over the last few months they'd known each other.

"So, you clearly recognized each other," Yaoyorozu Itsume started and Momo looked at her for a second, nodding gently.

"Yes, mother. We're classmates," she answered clinically, seeing the boy opposite her blink with furrowed brows. "…we're friends," she added carefully, realizing how he relaxed a little.

Just what was going through his head? It must be so incredibly much. There was so much Momo had to think about – so much to put together, to make sense of. She was going to marry Todoroki, take on his name, spend her life with him. None of it seemed unbearable – yet it still felt so surreal.

They were so young. Way too young for any of those decisions.

"That's perfect," her mother went on and Momo realized how pained her father looked, how tense her mother was in front of the bulky figure sitting on their rather tiny couch.

Todoroki Enji, Endeavor, was probably almost two meters tall, if she was to guess. He was incredibly intimidating, even without his hero costume.

Funny, she thought, how some heroes could seem so approachable, while others…clearly weren't.

"Still," the older Yaoyorozu woman started again, "This is Yaoyorozu Momo, our only child."

Quickly, Momo got up, bowing deeply before the red haired man.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," she said, staying bowed for another moment, before righting herself again. Yet she wasn't looking at the man in front of her, she was keeping her eyes on his son next to him. He'd stopped looking at his hands as he looked up at her, expression unreadable. Her gaze went back to the older Todoroki when he looked her up and down, nodding approvingly.

"She grew up well. How is the Quirk development going?" he asked her mother while Momo sat down and went back to observing her future husband. He only glared at his father. But it wasn't the playful glare she'd seen him exchange with classmates like Kaminari or Bakugo. It was vicious, it was full of resentment.

She remembered that facial expression from before the sports festival. She remembered that night in front of school. He admitted that he didn't like his father – just…what happened? Something must've happened. It couldn't just be the marriage. She was in that situation as well, after all. Something was different. There were so many things she didn't know.

She was ripped out of her thoughts when Endeavor started talking again.

"Todoroki Shouto," he said shortly, gesturing to his son, who did, in fact, not even really react.

Only when he was nudged with an elbow, he got up to bow his head slightly, his hair hiding his facial expression.

"…Nice to meet you," he said quickly, sitting down again.

Her mother laughed a little hysterically.

Momo knew something was wrong.

And she concluded that it didn't matter what their roles in this game were, or their situation was.

He was her friend.

Her friend, with whom she was going to spend the rest of her life; The friend she liked a lot more than the typical norm for friends was. They had formed a bond, a connection. She knew they had.

But he didn't even really look at her. Just what was going on? This whole situation, the atmosphere in the living room was incredibly tense.

They had to get out of here.

How could this happen? How could it turn out like…this?

It should've never been her. She didn't deserve a wreck like him pulling her down, restricting her. He'd already said he'd never want to stop her from achieving her dreams.

And who was he now?

He was the damn anchor keeping her on the ground when she wanted to spread her wings and fly.

What, for heck's sake, was this situation?

He'd been worried for months. For months. Afraid of a mysterious, unknown girl, who he'd known all along. Who he'd connected with from the start.

She was his hero, and he'd bring her down.

That couldn't happen.

It shouldn't.

But what was he supposed to do?

He knew he couldn't do anything to stop this – His path was already formed.

But maybe, if…

He looked at her, and she looked at him.

Her dark eyes, accentuated by her gorgeous long lashes. Sleek perky nose, ivory skin contrasted by raven black hair.

She was beautiful.

Whatever this was, he didn't deserve it.

She was…everything.

He was not.

"Todoroki?" she asked carefully, the room suddenly turning dead quiet. The adults went silent in less than a second, looking at them. His father had turned to them as well, quickly disregarding the conversation as he realized that he wasn't the one talked to.

Shouto nodded at her carefully.

"Do you…" she started, looking away for a second and taking a deep breath, "Do you want to go for a little walk?"

Did she want to talk to him without the prying eyes of their parents?

Of course - they had a lot to talk about.

"Okay," he answered. She nodded quickly, getting up and beckoning him to follow her.

Leaving the living room behind, he followed her out of a big door leading to the…gardens?

"I'll send someone to get you for dinner," her father, a tall man with the same raven hair as his daughter said carefully when they left.

He knew he'd feel sorry for whoever it was going to be…But this?

Sorry would never be enough a word for what he felt.

Closing the glass door behind him, he looked at her again. She'd turned back to him, waiting. Those angelic raven curls reflected the evening sun, making her glow again. His steps were slow, heavy. Just like his heart. Heavy and afraid.

He couldn't look at her anymore, the guilt weighing heavily in his guts.

Putting his hands in his slacks' pockets, he walked behind her as she started moving.

What was he even supposed to say?

He couldn't make this right. There was nothing he could do to save her from himself. His family's terrible curse was going to haunt her.

If it was someone else, anyone else, it might've been okay – But why did it have to be her?

Angrily ruffling his hair, he stopped in his tracks, staring at his black leather shoes.

"Todoroki?" she asked carefully, having turned towards him.

Looking up, he caught her beautiful eyes, barely realizing the flowers growing on the wooden pillars and lights surrounding the path.

"Say no," he whispered with the last bit of hope he had.

If she rejected him, she'd be free. He didn't know what the consequences were, but they were definitely better than having to spend her life with him.

She deserved affection, she deserved someone to lean, to rely on.

She deserved love.

And he was not able to give that.

"What…What do you mean?" she asked quietly, furrowing her brows, while he could sense her confusion.

She didn't know anything. She should never find out. This family was cursed and she should stay away as far as possible.

He was thankful for everything she taught him.

The one who'd showed her what friendship was, that he was not alone was her.

The one who'd saved him was her.

Yet…Nothing, no one could save him from his own mind.

He'd said it would be okay. It would be nice, no matter what came, as long as it was with her by his side.

He hadn't meant it like that.

Not with that price.

If this was the price for living a normal life – it wasn't worth it.

It wouldn't be worth her pain.

"Please, Yaoyorozu," he said quietly, looking back to the ground, "Get out while you can," lifting his head, he saw how her eyes widened, "Terrible things happen to people when…"

"When…what?" she pried.

It was her right to do so. She needed to know. If he had to tell her, scare her away to keep her safe, he wouldn't hesitate.

He wouldn't hesitate.

"When…they get close to me," he ended the sentence.

He should've told her everything.

"Mh," she noted, looking at a faraway place for a while. He took in her form, her royal blue dress, reaching the ground. How the colors of the summer garden surrounded her.

The ornamental fountains to their right, the sound of the flowing water being the only thing heard for another while, until a few birds started singing their hopeful songs in the faraway trees.

Looking at her face, he tried to understand her reaction. He told her something terrible would happen if she said yes to that terrible contract.

What if she didn't even have a choice?

What was he supposed to do then?

This couldn't happen.

Feeling his heartbeat quickening again, he realized that he was getting too far into his thoughts again.

No, he would not panic now.

No way.

He snapped out of it when she looked at him again, blinking once, twice, before breathing deeply.

"Todoroki," she started, looking at the flowers to his left, "Do you know these flowers?" she asked him slowly.

Turning his head, he took in the bright blue, white accentuated flowers. They had long petals, kept on a small field that stretched almost all the way to the house wall. He shook his head. He knew nothing about flowers.

She nodded carefully, hesitantly, before she smiled at him. His eyes widened. Just…why would she smile in a situation like that?

"They are called Irises," she began, taking a few steps towards him and stopping just before getting too close, looking at the ground, "In the language of flowers, they symbolize loyalty."

Loyalty?

"Staying with someone unconditionally," she explained, holding out her hands, but letting them fall back to her sides when she realized he wouldn't take them.

"It won't matter what happens, what you think might happen," she looked up at him, holding eye contact, "I will be with you through it all."

Biting his lower lip, he suppressed the urge to cry. The urge to react in any way.

"Why?" was all he whispered, voice hoarse.

"I…I think there is a lot we need to talk about, but there's one thing that matters most."

She smiled brightly, the glimmer in her eyes he was so used to returning.

"Even though we aren't lovers, at least not yet," she said, "You are my friend and I can't stand to see you down," she said.

She used his words against him. That's what he'd said after finals.

"But," he whispered, "I…I can't-," he went on, stuttering. He didn't know what he wanted to say himself.

He wanted to tell her everything, but also didn't want her to know at all.

"It's okay," she said, frowning a little, "We'll figure this out. Together."

And just like always, Todoroki realized that there was never a time she didn't know what to say.

When she said that she'd be with him through it all, she knew she was being a little straight-forward. But he was a honest person, without any filter. She could talk to him like this.

Mentally, Momo sighed. They were only kids, and neither of them really knew what was to come. No one knew what was going to happen to them.

Yet she meant it. It's probably way too early, way too fast to say it like that, but Momo couldn't stop herself. She knew her friend was suffering. And she knew what he'd told her that had made her heart almost combust at the time. So she used his words against him, succeeding in getting him speechless.

Whatever he wanted to say, she'd have to wait.

It's not like anything was going to change, except that they finally found out who the other was.

He had warned her, told her to say no. That terrible things happen to people close to him.

What did he mean? What happened? Did someone get hurt? Who? She had so many questions, but where was she supposed to start? Was now the time to say any of it?

He'd looked so scared when she'd gotten closer.

Obviously, he was hurt.

She'd already guessed that many, many times before.

He didn't answer her, biting his lip forcefully, doing everything except look at her.

The air was still tense around them.

"Let's…sit down?" she proposed, gesturing to one of the benches next to the Iris field.

Slowly, he let go of his lower lip, looking at her for a moment, most of his eyes hidden by his hair, before he nodded slightly. Carefully, she took the steps to the white wooden bench, making sure not to trip over the long dress. At least she wasn't overdressed at all. He looked incredibly good in a suit, she remarked again, as she looked over her shoulder at him, to see him follow her absent-mindedly.

More or less gracefully, she took a seat on the far left of the bench, while he slumped to her right.

They were opposites in so many ways, she realized.

When she heard him sigh next to her, she looked over to him, waiting patiently.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking straight ahead.

"What for?" She replied, tilting her head a little.

He was still a mystery.

"That you ended up in this situation?" he started, "That it's me? Just everything."

She blinked rapidly.

Wait.

Did he…really think that he had to apologize for that?!

"Todoroki Shouto," she said earnestly, "It's not your fault." His head hit the back of the bench with a light thud, before he lifted it again.

"Then why does it feel like it is?" he asked quietly. So quiet she almost didn't hear him.

"What do you mean by that?" she turned her body towards him as much as possible, her right leg pressed against the bench.

He shook his head.

"I'm just sorry for pulling you into my miserable life," she heard him whisper.

So much was wrong.

So little was right.

Nothing made sense.

Just what could she say to make this situation at least a little better? Sure, she had to be truthful, but there was no way she'd outright tell him she was crushing on him when they'd just met. It was too early for that.

But a little bit of truth?

"You know," she started quietly, waiting until he looked at her as she didn't continue, "I'm happy it's you."

His eyes widened again, before he blinked and went back to looking forward.

Ruffling his hair, officially destroying any sense of order that had been in the way the read and white strands fell over his forehead, he looked at her.

"I…" he started, looking back and forth between her and the ground.

Just what was going on inside his head?

Whatever it was, it seemed to be incredibly difficult to get out.

"I'm scared," he bit out fast before shaking his head. He leaned forward, using his knees as leverage for his elbows.

"I am too," she replied slowly, carefully, to make sure he understood.

He shook his head again.

"That's…That's not what I mean," he said, nervously looking at her over his shoulder.

Todoroki…was nervous? She'd never seen him like this before.

Just what bothered him so much? What could be so…bad that even he doesn't want to talk about it?

She didn't want to pry. She knew she had to, but she didn't want to make him uncomfortable, even if this whole situation wasn't comfortable from the beginning.

"This…" he started, his left hand going up to cover his scarred eye.

Oh no.

It was about his scar. The scar she'd always wondered where he'd got it – how he'd got it. She suddenly didn't want to know anymore.

He clearly didn't want to talk about it. He shouldn't have to.

"As you've probably guessed, my family is…rather unconventional," he said, voice monotone. She nodded.

"A lot has happened," he said, "And if this is really happening, I'll tell you one day, but not now," he shook his head and she understood. It was too much. Too much to talk about right now.

"But you need to know that I can't give you anything," he took his hand away and looked at her.

"Give me…anything?" she questioned quietly.

"I-…I'm afraid of intimacy," his calm voice broke.

Afraid of…intimacy?

Was that…

In which way…?

Is that why he was so…distant?

"Which kind of intimacy?" she whispered carefully, making sure her shock wouldn't shimmer through, "Touch…or emotional?"

He leaned back and looked at her, facial expression unreadable.

"The first," he answered her.

He was afraid of touch.

Todoroki Shouto was afraid of touch.

She'd heard about that before. There were all kinds of fears a human could have. But to think…that the person suffering from one of them was sitting right in front of her? That was…everything was…

A mess, she noted again. All of this was one giant mess and there was no way either of them was going to get through this alone.

"Okay," she said and he furrowed his brows in confusion, "We can deal with that."

"If you say no you won't have to."

"But will you?" she asked challenging. The Todoroki she knew wouldn't go to therapy. But she didn't know him well enough to actually know.

His silence was answer enough.

"We are engaged," Momo said, making sure to pronounce it very outright, "I know we both probably didn't choose this," he nodded to that, "But I always knew this could happen. It's not like I'm fine with all this. I'm desperate, I'm confused," she shook her head, swaying the raven curls back and forth, "But it's okay, because I know I'm not alone in this."

"What do you…?" he asked quietly. She looked him over intently, realizing how he stared at his hands again, eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought.

"I trust you, Todoroki," she smiled, "And even if it all comes crashing down, I'd be happy to say that the one by my side is you."

It had taken her a while to realize what she'd said. A blush crept up her neck and onto her cheeks.

His eyes grew wide while he opened his mouth to say something, but he didn't know what to say.

Before she could say anything more to make the situation less uncomfortable, Ari walked up to them.

"Lady Yaoyorozu, Sir Todoroki, I'm here to inform you that dinner is ready. Your parents are waiting," she said calmly while bowing slightly, before she righted herself again and looked at the both of them, before turning around and walking back towards the house.

Todoroki and her made eye contact, neither knowing what to say.

"I…I guess we should go back," she said and he nodded.

"So," Yaoyorozu's mother started while they were being served, "Did you two get the chance to talk about things?"

Shouto was distracted by the giant hall he was sitting in. The table was big – so big that there was place for at least another twenty people – and made out of dark wood, obviously expensive. Dark red curtains and Persian carpets. Big arched windows, the sunset shining through, dipping the room in even more shades of red.

The table was decorated with a golden candleholder, the plates placed on red fabric, probably to protect the surface of the table from scratches. Golden cutlery, accentuated and ornamented glasses made sure to contrast the dark with shiny gold.

"Yes, mother," Yaoyorozu asked smiling, looking at the half and half boy sitting opposite her. Her mother had taken place to her right, while Endeavor sat left to his son, effectively giving the head of the table to her father.

"Before we start discussing anything further, I'd like to serve you our best french cuisine," her father chimed in, gesturing towards the grey haired maid that had come to pick them up outside.

A young brunette waiter served them their plates, first Endeavor and Shouto, the guests, before tending to the hosts of the evening.

"Wine?" the black haired man then asked, smiling brightly. Shouto realized that must be the complete business smile as it didn't reach his eyes at all.

Gulping, he realized that those people may soon become his in-laws.

"Do you have Sake?" Endeavor asked shamelessly. Questioningly, Yaoyorozu Hitotsu looked at his wife, who blinked a few times before calling the older maid to her side. When the older woman then went and returned, she brought with her a bottle of Sake, ready to be warmed.

"Water is enough, thank you," Shouto said with all of his manner-knowledge. Yaoyorozu took the same, smiling slightly when they made eye contact.

He had said he would make his own decisions.

But this…this was planned for so long, what was he even supposed to do? If he said no, his father would make life living hell, no matter how 'nice' he'd been over the last few weeks. This marriage was inevitable.

And she…she didn't seem to hate it.

She'd said she was okay with it being him. That she'd be fine with him, no matter what happened.

He was sure she was an angel in disguise.

It's not like he was fine now, but a weight was lifted from his shoulders.

Well, he'd said everything was going to fine, as long as she'd stay by his side. And she just now said she would. There was no way he deserved her, yet here she was, indirectly having told him that she won't say no. She'd say yes to marrying him. Yes to spending her life with him.

Why would she do that?

She didn't even flinch when he said he was afraid of touch. Afraid of intimacy. Did she already know? Maybe she'd guessed before?

Back then, many months ago, he'd asked her if she believed in fate.

He still did. There was no way all of this was a coincidence. They'd been engaged ever since their Quirks developed – and they'd become friends as soon as they met, even if he had just begun trying to live normally.

Shouto didn't smile, as his mind was still too confused to process everything going on inside his head, but while he looked at her, eyes crinkling lightly when she laughed at a joke her parents made, he felt at peace.

The thought of seeing that image every day for the rest of his life didn't bother him at all.

When she turned her head back to him, catching him staring, she looked at him questioningly. He slightly lifted the corners of his lips, a tiny, almost invisible smile forming on his face, as he nodded at her.

She understood.

Her questioning, formal smile turned into a bright grin, making her eyes sparkle while she nodded back.

Without another word used both of them started eating their dinner, having come to the same conclusion.

Whatever happens – They'll get through it, as long as they are together.

Notes:

Irises symbolize loyalty - I thought that might be a beautiful little gesture of her, was it good? :)

Only together, they can heal.

This isn't over yet - There's definitely gonna be a part 3 (and I hope I can keep it short enough to leave it three parts. But, if I don't...rather one extremely, extremely long chapter or two average chapters? I'd personally like making it two more, else it might seem a little...too intense with all that's happening)

What did you think of their meeting? Their thoughts on the matter, their reactions and most important, the totally disguised use of 'crash' in her words which totally didn't have anything to do with the title? :D

I hope you liked it! And like always - feel free to yell at me on tumblr or write beautiful comments, even three word comments make my day haha

Have a beautiful, fantabulous day, everyone! :D

Chapter 12: I've been treated so wrong, I've been treated so long,…

Summary:

My Skin - Natalie Merchant

A contract between connected souls is formulated.

Parents can be embarrasing - and the unknown tortures more than the unevitable terrible truth.

Notes:

SURPRISE SURPRISE!

When did I last upload on a Thursday? That must've been sometime during summer.
But I just couldn't wait anymore - as I receive so many beautiful comments and theories and everything - I just need to somehow give back to you!

And...Well, yeah, I escalated a little. The chapter would've been almost 10k words so I split it up again. More to that in the end note!

Anyway - I hope you'll enjoy THE DAY (part 3)

Featuring: Another rollercoaster of emotions.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"In this contract will be discussed the marriage of one, Todoroki Shouto, and Yaoyorozu Momo," Endeavor started reading out the contract.

The plates were already taken away, the only thing left on the table being the glasses and the golden candle holder in the middle.

Shouto took a deep breath, preparing for what was to come. This was all coming real. It seemed to be happening way too fast.

Glancing over the table at the girl sitting opposite him, he saw her completely concentrated on his father, formal smile sporting her face as she obviously tried her best to look calm. Yet he could see how she fidgeted with her hands on the table, stroking an imaginary strand behind her ear for the fifth time. He understood why she was nervous. It was eating him up as well – yet he knew he was way less expressive, so he probably looked rather indifferent.

Going on to her mother sitting next to her, he realized the similarities between the Yaoyorozu woman. She had the exact same smile on her face as he'd just seen on her daughter, while she didn't fidget with her hands as those were clutched around the armrests of her chair, gripping so tight her knuckles were turning white. He also recognized those striking dark eyes he'd always found pretty on the younger Yaoyorozu.

Looking at the head of the table, he saw her father crossing his arms before his chest defensively, dark suit ironed perfectly. The same dark hair and dark eyes the other Yaoyorozu's, yet the look in his eyes was different. Shouto could see so much in them – There was fear, probably for his daughter who was just about to get engaged to a stranger, yet he could also see anger in the way his eyebrows pulled together. What was the anger righted on? Shouto could only guess but sincerely hoped it wasn't because he'd been so impolite and distant when they'd met.

He…He didn't want her parents to hate him.

Like his mother's parents now probably regret having ever agreed to the marriage to that strange rich hero with a fire Quirk.

He didn't want her to regret marrying him. But…how was he supposed to do that?

She'd probably start once she realized how distant this was going to be.

Of course Shouto didn't really know what a good, healthy relationship looked like – but from the two or three movies he'd seen with Fuyumi he knew most of it was…not his damn cup of tea.

Holding hands? He'd held her hand at Ennichi. For like…five seconds? He didn't dare try now as he'd obviously gotten worse as he remembered the events at the Midoriya's.

Hugs? No. Definitely a big no.

He didn't even dare think about the more serious stuff afterwards, like those awkward, musically underlined... kisses.

Shouto gulped at the thought. No. He was totally scared. He let his eyes wander to Yaoyorozu's lips, blinking a few times. He already knew he was weird. But he was obviously a scared weirdo.

She had said they could work with that.

Oh god, Shouto thought, she was going to be disappointed when she realized how hopeless he was.

He suddenly got pulled back into reality when his father continued reading out the contract.

"Yaoyorozu Momo, born on September 23rd 2002 and Todoroki Shouto born on January 11th the following year, are to be wed on April 13th after both parties have reached the age of sixteen," he went on, sounding way too happy for Shouto's liking.

He observed Yaoyorozu's reaction and how her eyes widened for a second before she looked at him like she just realized something, before darting her attention back to the topic at hand.

"The marriage will undo the debts the Yaoyorozu family owes pro hero Endeavor, namely Todoroki Enji. All of the factories and branches restarted with the money lent on October 12th 2008 will hereby remain in the possession of the Yaoyorozu corporation," Endeavor went on. Shouto could hear a relieved sigh, which most probably belonged to Yaoyorozu's mother.

Shouto had known it was because of a debt – yet he didn't think there was so much money involved several branches could be kept open during the collapse of economy ten years ago.

Sadly he realized that it had to be a lot of money, else her overprotective parents would never allow something like this to happen to their daughter.

"As result to the marriage, Yaoyorozu Momo will take on the Todoroki name…," Shouto's eyes widened. He didn't even think of that, "…and diligently live her life as wife and mother to their childre-"

"No," Shouto interrupted with wide eyes, looking over at Yaoyorozu to see the horror in her eyes.

He would never, ever, stop her from achieving her dreams.

"What do you-" Endeavor started, yet Shouto started shaking his head.

"She won't have to do that. She can freely decide what she wants to do," he explained, not even looking at his father but the girl opposite him, who stared at him, the smile on her face turning brighter and brighter with every word he spoke, "I'm not going to force her to do anything," he ended. She took a shaky breath opposite him and bit her lip while she tried to reach out her hand, yet she seemed to realize that it wasn't a good idea, as she put her arm back down, fidgeting again.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Shouto didn't understand. Of course he'd give her the freedom to decide that. It was her dream to become a hero, and he'd support that dream with all his might.

"You're going to be hero, Yaoyorozu. I'm not going to watch anyone or anything hold you back," he said, voice as deadpan as ever, "You don't deserve a caged, restricted life," he bashfully looked to his right, trying to avoid eye contact.

He swallowed, before he ended, "You deserve the world, Yaoyorozu."

And he meant it.

He didn't see the way her mother's eyes watered, as she clutched onto the hand of her husband, trying to find her composure in the presence of him. Or how his father blinked confused at having never seen his son like this before.

"Todoroki," Yaoyorozu said and he looked back at her awkwardly, before he realized how there were tears leaving rivers on her cheeks while she angrily wiped them away again and again.

Why…was she crying? Had he said something bad?

She bit her lower lip as she gave up wiping them away, her eyeliner a little smeared, which didn't let her look the least bit less pretty. Taking a deep breath, she held out her left hand, putting it on the table in front of him. Did she…want him to take it? She looked at her hand, then at him, as he hesitantly reached out.

She waited patiently until he let his right hand hover over hers, not sure how to proceed. He looked at her again, unsure, as she nodded slowly, deeply, wiping away the tears with her other hand.

Gulping, he let his hand rest on top of hers.

Her hand was warm and soft.

And gentle, as she slowly, carefully, as to not scare him, moved her thumb to caress the side of his cold hand.

He could feel the goosebumps on his arms at the feeling he was so unused to.

Shouto understood. She wanted him to lay it atop hers so he could pull away if necessary. He didn't pull away.

"Todoroki," she said again, as he kept staring at the way her hand moved against his. He looked up to her a little dazed.

"You deserve more than just the world," she whispered and he swallowed again.

He…deserved more than the world? What did she…mean?

No one had ever told him that. He didn't think he deserved anything nice.

"I-," he started, "I don't-"

"No," she whispered, shaking her head violently, "You do."

Gripping his hand a little tighter, he looked at their hands before he looked at her again. Exhaling slowly, he nodded, not sure of how to process that.

This…wasn't anything he was used to.

His heart was beating like crazy, he was confused, but he didn't feel bad. It was nice, her holding his hand like this, gentle and warm.

She was gentle and warm.

She was his savior, she was his hero, she was…going to be his wife.

What did he do…to deserve this?

"Alright, we'll cross that part about her wifely duties," Endeavor said, impressively unimpressed by the sudden change of the atmosphere in the room.

Momo kept looking at the beautiful boy in front of her.

She didn't know what his scars were, or how deep they reached, but it had to be sever for him to be afraid of touch.

He'd taken her hand. Even though it couldn't really be called hand-holding. She'd see it as a good sign. If he wanted to try, there might be a way to make this right somehow.

She knew she was crying, and she didn't know how to stop it, but she was so happy and sad at the same time. He'd given her the possibility to do whatever she wanted, had officially told her he'd never force her to do anything – he was the best that could've ever happened in this situation.

No, more in general. She thought he was the best thing to ever have happened to her.

If she deserved this? Until yesterday, she would've definitely said no.

But now? He'd taught her she was worth being a hero. He said she deserved the world.

There was no way she couldn't believe him.

Yet the way he said it – the way he'd made it obvious that he didn't think the same of himself, just as she learned to accept that she did, in fact, deserve good things.

She had to make sure he knew.

His scars reached deep, and she didn't know how to heal them – but she could at least try to mend them together a little, couldn't she?

At his father's words Todoroki took his hand back from hers. Did she just…witness him blush a little? She just couldn't do anything more than find him incredibly adorable.

His hand was still really cold, of course it was, it was his ice side after all.

Wiping away her tears for a final time, she looked to her mother who smiled at her slightly and Momo realized how watery and shiny her eyes looked. Letting her gaze wander to her father she realized how he was holding her mother's hand, not smiling at all, but furrowing his brows.

What was he thinking about?

"Yes, please," he answered Endeavor and Momo nodded. The red haired man took the pen and crossed out the section of the contract. He then cleared his voice before he went on.

"Until the marriage is registered, both parties are supposed to identify themselves as engaged. The details of the wedding, as well as invited guests will be discussed at a later time. The cost of the wedding will be carried by the groom's family," he said while looking at her mother, who in turn nodded sternly. It seemed like they had a discussion about this before.

"After the wedding, wife and groom are free to live together. Their duties to their families will be fulfilled with the registration of the marriage. This contract can only be terminated by serious transgressions against either party. If there is a breach of contract, the bride's family will give the ownership of all affected branches to the groom's," he ended, looking at both his son, then Momo, before putting the pen down with the contract, "The contract is binding from the moment it is signed."

"Momo," her mother started, before she took a deep breath, "Are you going to accept the contract?" she carefully asked. Momo looked at the boy sitting opposite her, eying her with a rather indifferent face. If he was secretly hoping she'd say no?

She didn't have to think for long before she nodded.

"I'll accept the contract," she said, Todoroki letting out a shaky breath. "I'll marry Todoroki Shouto," she made it clear, smiling slightly at him.

"Son?" Endeavor then asked, stern voice, as his son looked at him for a second, before he made eye contact with her again.

He hesitated, looking back and forth between her and his father, before he took a deep breath.

Yet he didn't say anything.

Looking at his father for a while, eyes turning spiteful, he seemed to be thinking.

Was he going…to reject it?

"Son?" Endeavor then said again, more emphasis on the word, a stern and strict undertone to his voice.

He sounded almost scary. His son then took another breath, looking at Momo, blinking slowly, mind still somewhere far away.

"I'll accept," he said quietly and Momo let go of the breath she hadn't known she held onto.

Endeavor shook his head at his son's behavior before he handed the clipboard to his son who looked at Momo again, sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before he signed the paper.

He then handed it to her.

Their parents had already signed. When? Was it while they were outside? Were her parents really happy with the fact she was supposed to be a housewife had Todoroki not said anything?

Right, they didn't think too highly of her becoming a hero still.

She didn't even look up again as she signed the contract, handing it to the bulky figure on the other side of the table.

It was done. Their fate was sealed.

They were now officially engaged.

Oh god, what was she supposed to tell Kyouka? She'd never believe her this happened.

Momo looked up at Todoroki again, holding out her hand with a bright smile.

The weight on her shoulders, the rock in her chest had almost dissipated. She was fine. She didn't feel like she was going to cry anymore.

She was…happy.

He laid his hand atop hers again, keeping eye contact. She felt like there was nothing to ruin this moment. All of her worries had turned to naught, her crush turning out to be her fiancée, making sure to give her all of the freedom she could ask for. Everything seemed almost too good to be true.

There was only one person who was able to destroy it all and make it incredibly awkward.

She should've known. She really should've guessed this would happen. She knew her father for so long – it was almost obvious he'd do that.

"Future son-in-law," he started and Momo already dreaded what he'll say next, "There's only one question I need an answer to before I let anyone leave this room."

Oh no. Momo knew where this was going. He wouldn't ask if-

"You're not going to use that as an excuse to sleep with my daughter, are you?"

He would.

Shouto blinked confused.

Did he just imagine that question? That…What- Why would he care?

They were just kids.

He was afraid of touch.

But right, his future father-in-law had no idea of what they'd just gotten themselves into.

The answer was obvious, wasn't it?

"N-No," Shouto said, stumbling a little over the word while he pulled his hand away, the proximity getting too much all of a sudden.

He didn't dare look at the girl sitting in front of him.

The thought alone made his chest constrict.

"Dad!" Yaoyorozu called out and Shouto looked at her, seeing how her cheeks suddenly turned red.

Yeah – this time he understood. He felt the same, yet he didn't think he'd…blush.

"Hitotsu!" her mother chimed in, whispering angrily.

Endeavor burst out laughing, which still sounded rather creepy.

"What? I just want to make sure," Yaoyorozu's father explained, sitting up straight and leaning forward on the table, gaze wandering between the teenagers sitting opposite each other, "Listen, okay?" he then asked and Shouto nodded quickly, looking at the table right in front of him.

"I want to make sure you two know – Just because you're going to get married next year, I'd be rather happy not to be a grandfather for another while, is that understandable?" the raven haired man clarified.

The half and half boy looked at his fiancée, realizing how she was fidgeting with her hands.

"Yeah," Shouto answered, being a pro at staying calm. Or rather, acting calm.

"Y-Yes, dad," Yaoyorozu answered, putting her hands on her cheeks to hide her embarrassment.

Yes, sometimes Shouto was glad he wasn't as affected as usual people his age.

"Great!" her father said, sitting back in his chair again, the formal smile back on his face, "Now, who wants some dessert?"

"We'll head to bed now," her mother started, looking at her daughter, "Will you show them their guest rooms?"

"Of course," Momo replied, nodding formally.

"I'm glad the deal worked out," Endeavor said, grinning brightly while holding out a hand, which her mother took reluctantly and faked another business smile. "I agree," she said, voice nothing more than a hidden hiss. Her father mimicked the handshake before looking playfully stern at the younger Todoroki, who obviously didn't understand the gesture but shook the outstretched hand anyway.

Momo wondered why such a handshake seemed to be okay.

Only when she realized that the boy almost yanked his hand back as soon as he had the chance, just to sigh tiredly, she understood that it was possible. He could hold someone's hand as long as he just concentrated enough on it.

She already knew what she'd do when she was back in her room.

She'd research everything she could find out about fear of intimacy.

Maybe it would help if she found out the source?

She gulped. Was that… going to be the story of how he got his scar?

He had said terrible things happen to people that get close to him.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loudly vibrating phone.

"Yes," Endeavor answered it neutrally, "I see. You can't handle that by yourself?" he then asked the poor person on the line annoyedly.

"I'll be right there," he ended the call.

"I need to go. Shouto, you'll stay. I'll send someone to pick you up tomorrow," he then said to her parents who were just about to leave the room. They stopped in their tracks to watch the scene unfold.

"W-Wait," Shouto said, blinking rapidly. He'd gotten up the same moment his father had jumped out of the seat, now looking up to him confused.
"You'll be fine, don't act like a child," the older answered with furrowed brows moving towards the door leading towards the hall and the front doors.

Momo furrowed her brows. If Endeavor realized that he just left his son all alone at an unfamiliar place?

Sure, it seemed like it was urgent – but still. Something…something about this was odd.

"Is that gonna be okay with you?" he asked her mother, who blinked a few times before she slowly nodded.

The person he'd need to ask wasn't her mother.

It was his son who had to stay here alone after all.

"Great. Behave, son," he said, patting his son's back while leaving the room.

Todoroki flinched.

Momo blinked.

Did she…Yeah, probably. She just imagined too much. Read to many books. This…wouldn't happen in real life, would it? But thinking about that…one wouldn't coincidentally get engaged to his crush either.

No.

Just no. That…wasn't what this was about, no way.

But he had a burn scar.

She observed her future husband while her parents went outside to say their goodbyes to the stressed hero.

A hero. Endeavor was supposed to be a hero. Sure, a less social and smiling hero, but a hero nonetheless.

Standing here was his son, afraid of touch, flinching at a pat on the back by the person he was supposed to trust most.

If she was talking about parents…where was his mother?

Momo only realized she stared at him when he silently said her name, sounding as unaffected as he always did, yet she could feel some uncertainty in his gaze.

"Yaoyorozu?" he said, putting his hands in his slacks' pockets.

"Todoroki," she whispered and was suddenly thankful for the silence that had filled the room when her parents left with the maids already sent home an hour ago.

She got up from her seat to walk over to him, rounding the table with certain steps before she stopped right before him, trying to keep a certain distance between them.

He did not take a step back, even though he looked over his shoulder as if to check if there was a way to run.

She didn't know what he was feeling at that moment, couldn't be sure at all.

But if she were to bet, she'd say he was scared.

"I…", she started. No. She needed time to think. Time to understand. She couldn't just act like she knew, couldn't just make any conclusions at the moment, "I'll show you your room," she ended, swallowing her nerves.

There was no proof.

She prayed she was wrong.

"Fear of intimacy," Momo started mumbling. She was sitting on her bed, wearing her dark grey silk pajamas, her phone in hand to search for information, notebook and pen lying next to her, "also called Aphenphosmphobia."

Yes, she might've stolen that idea from Midoriya.

She was going to write it all down.

If she was going to help him, she'd do it right.

No, she corrected. This wasn't about helping him.

This would be helping them both in the long term.

Momo had shown him the guest room, just down the corridor, and made sure he was at least a little familiar with everything, showing him the bathroom before leaving him alone. There was a lot he had to think about, just like her. Yet, whatever it was she was supposed to think about – whether it be her future, her future with him and what it would mean for herself – didn't seem as urgent.

She trusted Todoroki, she always had.

Even if he wasn't as strong as she always thought he was.

No, she righted herself again, being afraid was not a weakness.

She trusted him. With her life, now written on black and white.

Even if anyone would say she was silly, she'd keep believing in him.

Like he said he did in her.

Biting her lips she scrolled through the page, taking notes on symptoms and also tried to find some therapy tips.

She was scared to look into the causes. She knew she had to ask him to get behind it all, yet she was scared to find out if her theory was right.

Looking at the time, she saw that it wasn't even eleven yet. He wouldn't be asleep, if she guessed right. Would it be too early to ask him? She didn't want him closing up on her. But…he'd surely tell her if it wasn't alright, wouldn't he?

When her phone vibrated, she saw she had a new message.

'How'd it go? You can't just leave me hanging like that', Kyouka had texted her. Smiling softly, Momo started typing.

'Everything's fine. Perfect, even. I'll tell you tomorrow,' she hit send. Before she could go back to reading on the internet site she'd opened up earlier, she received another message. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized what this meant.

'Talk?' was the single word message she'd be able to look at for hours. Todoroki had sent it.

He had asked her if she wanted to talk.

Just as she'd gotten up and acknowledged the fact that she was already wearing pajamas, she received a row of text messages, which made her laugh a little as she realized Kyouka was now even more eager than before.

'Wait'

'What?!'

'Fine? How's that possible?!'

'Who is it? Hold on, no way'

'Perfect?!'

'Don't tell me…!'

'NO! FREAKING! WAY!'

Momo realized her purple haired friend might have already figured out the answer to her question.

Now all that was left were those for hers.

Again, on that day, she prayed for herself to be wrong this one time.

Notes:

And this was THE DAY (part 3).

I'm not going to leave you hanging with the fourth part for too long because they are so deeply connected, but I can't really say when I'll get the time to upload it.

What did you think of the contract? Did it sound presentable? (My mother tongue's not English, so I can't say if it sounds adequate for a contract, please feel free to correct me :D)
How about the beautiful reassurance of the kids that each other definitely deserves everything, even if they don't believe in it themselves?
Also, awkward meeting-the-parents dinner?
Endeavor leaving his kid there like 'Well, he can protect himself, the rest I don't care about'?
And a Midoriya-like journal?

I'm gonna advertise the next chapter in the sense that - if there is someone out there reading this fanfiction who can pained - I dare you to paint it. It's gonna be super emotional and a rollercoaster ride, so prepare, and put on your seatbelts before it's even out lol

Way too long note, I'm sorry. Have a beautiful and fantabulous day!

Chapter 13: ...as if I'm becoming untouchable

Summary:

My Skin - Natalie Merchant

This bond, this connection between two souls is the one thing able to save the frozen soul caught up in this icy storm of a world.

The past has to be retold for the future to take place.

Notes:

SURPRISE here I am again!

I told you I wouldn't let you wait for long - this is too entangled with the chapter before, and too heart-wrenching and beautiful to be lying around finished in my draft box!

Anyway - this is A REAL ROLLERCOASTER. So get yourself comfortable, I'll provide tissues and blankets. I hope you'll like it!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Shouto was nervous. More nervous than he'd ever admit to being.

He had the feeling she already guessed what his fear of being touched was about – her facial expression before she'd shown him to his room had told him enough. She wanted to ask. That he was sure of.

It's not that he was nervous to talk about it. It had already happened once and he knew it was definitely better if she kept enough distance between them, not wanting to freeze her.

But the person who'd snapped him out of it last time had been her as well. Maybe it was going to be fine.

He was scared to believe in that.

He was nervous about her reaction. If she would judge him? No, she wouldn't. She never did and probably never would. But that was so much more than admitting to having no friends. This was admitting, telling the one person he'd never want to see him as weak of everything that had led his life to this place. What if she started to cry, like Midoriya's mother had? He wasn't sure he'd be able to watch her cry.

He'd thought about asking Midoriya for advice – but he wasn't even sure if Yaoyorozu would be okay with anyone knowing of their…situation.

It was done, he realized. It was written black and white on a paper he signed.

He'd marry her in less than a year's time.

He'd marry Yaoyorozu Momo, the girl that held out a hand to him in this weeping storm inside his head.

Sighing, he ruffled his wet hair, having come out of the shower a few minutes ago.

She hadn't answered to his text message yet.

The guest room he was in was huge. Huger than his room at home – it's not like traditional houses even needed that much space inside them. They didn't have enough furniture to fill it up, compared to the amount of cupboards and cabinets all around the house of the Yaoyorozu's.

He was sitting on the huge bed, a little unused to the soft mattress, as he grew up with his futon bed. It was so high compared to lying down on the floor. It was just kind of weird.

The colorful carpets were rather comfortable to walk on, he'd realized earlier. Having closed the dark red curtains and showered in the little private bathroom, he'd changed into his usual plaid cotton pajama pants, paired with a loose white shirt.

Endeavor had really just left him here. Sure, Shouto was surprised he'd actually leave him here after having met the people only a few hours prior. Yet he wasn't too shocked this happened. Nothing about that human really surprised him anymore.

He'd been too nice when he'd helped his son tie his tie – of course there hadn't actually been a change of heart.

Just…how could Shouto believe even for a second that anything was going to change?

He certainly never would.

Sighing again, he heard a knock on the door.

His eyes widened. Was that her?

Of course it was more logical to talk in person, even though it let his heart beat faster.

Why…was that happening now? Putting a hand on his chest, he felt how hard it pounded.

"Todoroki?" he heard her ask quietly, a little dimmed through the dark wooden door.

Getting up, he stumbled a little as his left foot had fallen asleep from the way he was sitting on the bed.

When he opened the door, he saw her smile at him bashfully.

His heart almost skipped a beat.

He didn't understand, he really didn't.

"May I…come in?" she asked, biting her lower lip for a second, before she let go. To his nod she entered the room, stepping around him.

He didn't know how to start the conversation. What were they even supposed to talk about? There were so many things he had in the back of his mind, yet he couldn't remember them anymore.

Nervously ruffling his hair again, he walked back to the bed, awkwardly taking place and looking at her, standing in front of him. She was in her pajamas as well, the dark grey fabric looking soft and shiny. Her make up was gone, hair draped over her shoulders while the soft curls from the day had been brushed out.

He'd never even realized how pretty she was with her hair down. But she had been wearing it like this all day long – why was it that it came to his mind now?

"Should I…?" she asked, a light pink creeping onto her cheeks while she gestured at the space next to him.

He nodded carefully and she let out a shaky breath while sitting next to him, at least an arm length distance between them.

Neither of them spoke for a while, not knowing how to break the silence.

"I guess this is really happening, isn't it?" Shouto asked her, watching as she smiled at him, making his heart beat even faster while he realized the look of fondness in her eyes.

Yeah, he still couldn't understand her at all.

"Yes," she said, putting a stray hair behind her ear, "We're…"

"Engaged," he ended her sentence.

She nodded gently.

"How…are you?" she then asked carefully, sitting on her heels.

"I-"

"Tell me honestly," she interrupted, furrowing her brows for a second, as if she had forgotten something, "I don't want you to pretend in front of me. Tell me, especially if you're uncomfortable."

Letting out a breathy laugh, he looked her in the eyes.

"Why?" was all he replied for now. She started blushing even more.

"I told you we'd work this out together," she explained, fidgeting with her fingers a little, "and we can't make this work if we don't talk to each other."

This was all so surreal. She wanted him to be honest. She really did.

"Okay," he said, nodding surely, "Let's be honest to each other," shaking his head slightly he added, "I don't like liars anyway."

"I understand that," she answered, switching position a little so her legs were tugged a little sideways under her, "So? How are you?"

"Confused," he admitted, scratching the back of his neck, "All of this is…", he didn't know how to describe it.

"A mess?" she proposed.

"Yeah," he agreed, "A mess."

Taking a deep breath he looked into her eyes again before turning his gaze to his hands.

"I…I don't want to disappoint you. You deserve so much, and as it is now, I know I can't give you anything," he sighed while closing his eyes, before he looked at her to see her smile patiently at him, "Honestly…I may have freaked out a little at your dad's questions."

"I'm so sorry for him. He's always been bad at keeping a nice atmosphere. That's the reason mom never lets him do business deals," she explained chuckling, shaking her head, "But it's okay. You don't have to be scared of anything. You said you'd never force me to do anything and it's the same for me," blushing again she looked somewhere at the right top corner of the room, "Even though we might, eventually, get to…things like this when it's time."

He let go of a breath he hadn't realized he'd started holding.

"Thank you, Yaoyorozu," he smiled slightly, knowing it didn't reach his eyes completely as his dread over that future settled in again.

No, he was…actually not scared.

Why would he be after all? It was Yaoyorozu, not some stranger he'd have to share his future with.

"Do you want anyone to know?" he asked, mainly because he was thinking of telling his friends.

"Well, I think Jirou knows now. She's my best friend after all. Are you comfortable with the class knowing or would you rather keep it private?" she answered explaining.

"Private sounds good," he said, furrowing his brows for a second, "I want to tell Midoriya and maybe Iida."

"I agree. Like…not a secret, but not making it super obvious either."

He nodded to that, silence returning between them. When he heard her sigh, he looked at her to realize she wasn't looking at him but at the floor. He knew she had something she wanted to say, so he waited patiently.

Was she thinking about what to ask first?

"I…I don't know if it's fine to ask about this right now, today of all days. A lot has happened after all and both our lives are going to change with this, so if you're uncomfortable or don't want to answer, please just tell me that," she said carefully and he nodded at her, beckoning her to go on, "If you don't mind me asking this right now…I have this hunch, this terrible theory that I'm kind of scared to ask but will anyway because it's important," she was biting her lower lip before she looked into his eyes.

"Your scar…Did your father do this?" she whispered, obviously observing his reaction.

He was rather calm though. He could talk about this. To her, he could.

"Not directly, no," he shook his head.

"Then…?" she didn't dare ask but he knew what her question was.

"It was my mother," he started, suddenly feeling his chest constrict again. He lied, he wasn't calm. Just what was she going to think? Her eyes turned wide.

"Your…mother? What...happened?" she scooted a tiny bit closer to him, not touching him which he was incredibly grateful for.

Even though he kind of…no, not now. Last time that didn't work out too well.

He chewed on his lips, suddenly realizing that his nerves were getting too much for him too handle.

"It's okay," she quickly whispered, "You don't have to tell me now."

He shook his head. He had just promised her to be honest.

"It's not that…I-…I kind of want to try holding your hand but I'm scared because of what happened last time when I told someone."

"Was that…when Midoriya called me?"

He nodded to that, not giving up on chewing his lips.

"If it's like that…Do you want to do it like earlier? You can pull away if it's too much," she smiled, "You can always ask to hold my hand."

Not answering he held out his hand and she placed hers on the comforter in front of him so he laid his down on hers gently again.

"Is that okay?" she asked when she gripped it a little tighter than earlier, thumb brushing over the palm of his hand, sending shivers down his spine. "Yes," he answered after thinking about it for a little while.

Grounding himself in her touch, knowing she'd keep him steady if he was going to stumble, he found the resolution and calm to tell her.

"Endeavor married my mother because of her ice Quirk", he started, "he realized he'd never surpass All Might and would stay number two for all his life, so he found a way to make sure his children would reach that goal and get the Todoroki name on number one, no matter the cost."

He saw how she started biting her lip, pausing her ministrations on his hand for a second, before she went back to the task at hand and nodded with a grim and serious face.

Closing his eyes he shook his head, "He found himself on a 'mission' to create the perfect half and half Quirk to cancel out the drawbacks of both Quirks to create a human powerful enough to beat All Might." When he heard her gasp, he looked at her , but she only nodded at him to go on, having taken her second hand to put it on her mouth. When he went on, he closed his eyes.

"As you probably know, I'm the fourth try. The masterpiece. When my Quirk developed he pushed my siblings aside and started relentlessly training me until I broke down and threw up when I'd just gotten five years old," her motions on his hands stopped. He could feel how she took a deep shaky breath.

"F-Five?" she asked breathlessly.

He laughed dryly before he nodded. "I hadn't even known that wasn't good until Midoriya pointed it out," ignoring the lump that was starting to form in his throat he went on.

"My mom tried to stop him but he'd beat her if she got in the way or when he found her comforting me. That drove her to her breaking point," he looked at her again to realize his own sight had turned a little blurry.

Oh no.

He didn't want to cry. Not now, in front of her.

She'd surely see him as weak.

Only when she pressed a little more insistently with her thumb he got pulled back into the here and now. Exhaling shakily, she beckoned him to go on, her face not completely clear to him at the moment.

Putting his free hand on his scarred eye he went on.

"Before my sixth birthday she snapped and poured boiling water over the left side of my face and called it 'unsightly' because it reminded her of the man that tormented her for a long, long time," he heard a sob and tried to concentrate on her, yet he wanted to get it over with.

She stifled a cry with her hand.

"Endeavor sent her away that day and kept me mostly in isolation, tutoring me with private teachers. I haven't seen my brothers in years and Fuyumi is trying everything she can to build a family, to be the sister I never really had, yet she can't get close to me because I'm not used to emotionally connecting to people. It's difficult, but she's the only one I had until I went to visit my mother," he explained and could hear her sobs turning louder.

He should really stop now. She was crying, he was crying. Wasn't it enough?

Yet he just…

He didn't know how to stop.

"We talked, and I've forgiven her. She's still the only one I can fully open up to…and…how did you say it? Be comfortable around?" he asked and saw the blurry outline of her face nod, hand still stifling her cries.

"I'm afraid of intimacy, of being touched. I'm not sure how this all strings together, but Midoriya said something along the lines of 'having the only one I loved taken away from me', so it might be that. I…I think it might be possible," he said and Yaoyorozu took the hand away from her mouth to put it on their more or less interlaced hands, gently, really gently engulfing him in her warmth.

He was okay with it, her touch slight and not restricting. Everything…Everything seemed to be different from that time at Midoriya's place, yet he couldn't say what it was. Even though he'd told Midoriya's mother the same, his heart rate wasn't picking up and making him panic.

Not that he was calm, but it was…different. That's all he knew.

Staying silent for a little while, he wondered if she sensed that he wasn't finished yet. Trying his best to calm down, he blended out everything around him except the warm feeling of her soft, gentle hands on his icy one. He concentrated on breathing, closing his eyes a few times, yet realizing that his sight wasn't turning any clearer.

"It was because of Midoriya's actions at the sports festival – you know, he's the reason I am finally using my flames - and me finally visiting my mother after ten years that I stared thinking about what I could have had," he admitted.

"T-Ten years?" she whispered shakily, "You haven't seen her for ten years?"

He nodded quietly, ignoring the tears staining his face as best as he could.

"S-So...that's why..." she breathed out, not looking at him directly but at the floor next to her, "That night in front of school," she started, "Was that...?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "I argued with Endeavor because I never had a choice in my life. What I wanted didn't matter, it never had," she looked back at him, "You found me that night, and explained the meaning of a friend to me."

He swallowed.

"I never knew life could be easier, happier, when there were people around me that I could trust, that I could call a friend," he admitted when she scooted a little bit closer.

"I was used to being all alone all my life but you showed me I'm not anymore, and I'm scared of losing everything I learned I could have, the friends I made," he whispered quietly, another realization hitting him like a truck, pushing all air out of his lungs.

"I-… ," he started, voice incredibly breathy and raspy, "I'm scared of losing you," his mouth blurted out before he could think better of it, his voice breaking mid sentence.

Her breathing hitched.

"I-" she whispered, voice hoarse from crying, but she cleared it quickly and made sure not to stop her rhythmic motions on his hand. "I...I don't know what to say, this...everything..." She looked to her right, blinking away the tears that were still running down her cheeks.

"I promise I won't just leave you," she blurted out, his eyes widening.

She…didn't push him away for all this? Didn't regret signing this damn contract? This…she…wasn't understandable. She just promised she wouldn't just leave like his mother had. Like his siblings that he never saw again after his father found out he'd developed his Quirk had. Did she really…want to stay by his side?

"Why...just why did this...You didn't deserve to have any of this happen to you," she whispered, stopping the motions of her hands and looking to a faraway place on her left.

"I'm so sorry, I'm angry, I'm confused about what kind of human our number two hero actually is – I…" she shook her head, black strands falling in her face but being ignored for now.

Spent and tired, his brain must've stopped functioning, as he moved his left hand to put the strands behind her ear, where they'd been before.

She looked up at him, right in his eyes, as he stopped mid-motion, his hand still hovering right beside her face.

Why was it…that the less he thought, the easier it was? He'd just touched her. She'd held his hand all along, while the same story made him break down at the Midoriya's.

Maybe…this connection, this calm they shared, made it different?

Was that possible?

He wasn't afraid of her.

Her dark eyes, the soft golden lighting of the room illuminating her lashes, making her look even brighter, even though she didn't smile.

Exhaling a shaky breath he didn't know he was holding, he let his hand fall next to him, resting it on the bed.

"Todoroki?" she asked shakily, before swallowing audibly, taking her eyes away from his, gaze wandering aimlessly through the room.

"Do you know why people hug each other?" she asked and his attention went back to her words.

"To…give comfort?" he said, even though it sounded more like a question.

Nodding, she chewed on her lips for a moment.

"That's not all," she said, lifting their joined hands to shift them around until she held his right hand with both of hers and softly traced the contours and dents of his fingers, as if she was mapping out every single ounce of skin she could find. He watched her doing so, mesmerized by the fact he was indeed holding a hand without breaking down.

Maybe it was the situation, how she calmed him down, made sure he'd be able to tell her everything without having to be afraid of the past.

She was his boat, keeping him afloat in a stormy ocean, and her hands were the anchor keeping him from drifting away.

He looked into her eyes when she continued talking.

"How can I describe it?" she asked herself, "It's…there are different types of hugs – between friends, family…or lovers, and all of them mean something a little different – but they are all supposed to make someone feel safe. To be able to let go of every terrible thought that is on one's mind. When hugging someone, you protect them, but at the same time, they protect you as well, in a way, because if they let you hug them, they trust you enough to open their hearts and let you take a little of their burden from you," she explained, smiling softly.

Take…a little burden?

Take away terrible thoughts?

This wasn't what he'd associated with a hug. Was it really like this?

And if it was, why wasn't it working for him? Even though he liked to hug his mother, it's not like it made anything go away. Or help him forget about everything. He only took comfort because that's what he told himself it'd do. A real difference? He'd never felt one before.

She must've realized he was spacing out again.

"I really want to hug you. To take everything away that's weighing on your mind," she said, shaking her head shortly, "Your troubles, your past, everything that hurts you so deep I can't mend it with words alone," she said.

Why...didn't it sound terrible? He didn't want to say yes per se. A hug...sounded pretty nice if she said it like this. But...he was still scared. Looking to his right, she let out a deep breath, making him look at her again.

"But I guess it's too early for that," he nodded slowly, not sure if he wanted to tempt fate like that today, as it always seemed to mock him, before her eyes suddenly widened, "…Wait, I've got an idea."

Interested, he watched how she squished the extremely fluffy comforter, nodding approvingly.

"Do you trust me?" she asked.

He nodded hesitantly. Of course he did.

Skeptically, she let go of his hand and he blinked while looking at her, realizing how cold it suddenly felt as his hand fell to the bed.

"Do you really trust me?" she sat up on her heels again, "I don't want to scare you. Promise me you'll tell me instantly even if you're just uncomfortable."

He looked up at her, blinking while looking into her dark eyes, a little red from crying earlier.

Why was he hesitating? He knew he could trust her, knew she wasn't one to hurt him. She'd shown him so much, explained what a friend was, showed him he wasn't alone and worried for his wellbeing if he only stayed up too late, and snapped him out of it while he'd been in a full out panic attack.

Letting go of a shaky breath, he understood. Even if he'd break apart, she was going to be there to hold him together, no matter if it seemed hopeless.

He'd learned that and in this moment he promised himself that this was going to be the one thing he'd hold on to.

She was going to be there, and she deserved to feel loved.

Yes, he had to learn that from the start, from the beginning, as he didn't know what it meant, or what he was supposed to do. He made the decision to call Midoriya tomorrow. Maybe his mother was still okay with introducing him to that doctor.

In this moment, on this day where he'd found out that fate was a double-edged sword, he promised himself he'd do anything to make sure she got what she deserved. He'd do anything to make sure she was happy.

And if that meant he had to cure his fear somehow, so he'd be able to give her all that – he'd do it.

People always looked so happy, with their families, their friends.

Their lovers.

If curing his fear meant he'd be able to find out what this joy was he'd witnessed at Ennichi, that would make it possible for him to have a family of his own one day, he'd do it. He'd face his fears.

"I trust you, Yaoyorozu," he answered her and saw her nod, smiling slightly.

"Alright," she said, blushing and fidgeting with her hands, "Get up, please."

Blinking, he did what he was told, realizing his foot had fallen asleep again as he scooted from the bed, awkwardly standing next to it while she crawled over to the edge and pulled back the comforter halfway.

She motioned for him to come over.

"I guess you're ready for bed, aren't you?" she asked and he nodded with furrowed brows, a little confused. "Okay, lie down," she said, a new sparkle in her eyes as she seemed to have a plan.

Even though he wasn't sure what she was trying to do, he climbed on the bed and laid down facing her, hands loosely lying by his sides. "Huh?" was his only reaction as she covered him with the comforter and gently tucked it in at his sides.

"Face the window," she quietly commanded and he nodded, turning over until he was lying with his back to her.

"Okay, I'm going to hug you now. There's going to be the comforter between us, so I'm not actually touching you, but I want you to feel warm and safe. Tell me if that's not the case, or just push me away a little, either is fine," she explained her plan.

He nodded, not sure if she actually saw that.

This probably wasn't going to be too much.

She must've seen the nod as he could feel the weight next to him shift, before he could feel a source of warmth on his back. The comforter rustled as she scooted a little closer, wrapping her arm around him until he could see her hand.

"Is that okay?" she asked and he shivered when he realized just how close she was, as he could hear her voice right beside his ear.

She tried to pull away, probably thinking it had been too much, as he darted his hand out of the comforter to pull hers back.

"Yes," he answered, nodding quickly. This was okay. It wasn't too much. Only warmth engulfed him from the comforter, as well as the girl lying behind him, a light weight on top of him from her arm. It was fine.

It was…comfortable.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

Leaning back a little, he realized how she wrapped her arm around him a little tighter.

This was funny, he thought.

Midoriya's mother had held his hand and he'd felt imprisoned, restricted and unfree.

But this…

He couldn't move, knew there was a human actually restricting his movements.

But it was different.

He couldn't say he hated it.

"Yes…I…," he thought about what she'd said earlier, "I feel…safe," he said, slowly realizing how he was dozing off, "It's…a nice feeling," he whispered, voice a little muffled as he buried his face in the comforter.

"This is not a complete hug, but it's a step forward-" she said but interrupted herself, chuckling quietly, "I see."

This was nice.

Had she noticed he was falling asleep slowly?

It wasn't like it was at his home, dreading and slow as he didn't ever get this comfortable.

"Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?" she whispered but he could hear her clearly in the quiet of the room.

He nodded, too tired to form a complete sentence, yet he muffled a little thoughtless 'yeah' into the fluffy fabric.

He felt the weight on top of him shift, feeling how the warmth disappeared, as the light turned off, the switch right beside the bed, before the feeling was back as she moved her arm around him tightly.

"Okay," she whispered and his eyes closed, darkness surrounding them anyway, "It's okay. I'll protect you from now on," she said and he knew she meant it.

She wouldn't make jokes about that. She promised she'd stay with him, she promised she'd work it out with him, and now she said she'd protect him. Just what did he do to deserve her?

It didn't matter, he decided, he would treasure it with every fiber of his being.

"Thank you, Yaoyorozu," he mumbled.

"There's nothing to thank me for, Todoroki. I told you we'd work it out together," she said.

"Shouto," he could hear himself whisper while he realized he could hear her quiet breathing hitch, "Call me Shouto when we're alone."

He knew he was dozing off, and he probably shouldn't fall asleep now, all of the training he was put through coming to his mind.

"Okay," she whispered, "Shouto," she tested and he could almost hear her smile behind him, "You can call me Momo, if you want."

"Momo," he tested, voice almost swallowed as he smiled into the comforter, realizing how his mind drifted away.

He fell asleep that night, not thinking about an uncertain girl and an uncertain future, but of a raven haired hero holding his hand while the storm around him stopped. He'd thought it was going to be okay, as long as he wasn't alone in that snowstorm.

Now he knew that it didn't matter what was going to come.

No matter if it was a snowstorm, a stormy ocean or whatever this world was going to throw their way.

As long as she had her arms wrapped around him, they wouldn't give in.

"Good night, Shouto," she whispered to the boy in her arms, smiling softly at his name.

A name she'd call many, many more times in the future.

She'd just hold him for a little while longer before she'd leave for her own room.

That's what she told herself while her mind drifted into darkness, face buried at the back of the boy she liked – the boy she was engaged to.

She didn't need a comforter that night, her heart warmed by the beautiful, gorgeous soul in her arms, trusting her with his life. Just like her unshakable trust in him. She didn't know what was going to come, what their future held in store for them, but it didn't matter when she held him like this. What he'd told her hadn't shaken her belief in him.

It only made her realize one thing.

Saying that she liked Todoroki Shouto was nothing but an understatement.

She suffered with his soul that had gone through so much while her heart ached more than she ever knew possible. She couldn't stand that something like this had happened to him, that he had to go through this and had to carry it every day without anyone to talk to, to rely on. She didn't want to believe how hurt he was under that usually so stoic facade, under that icy and distant shell.

Holding him even tighter, she buried her face in the fluffy fabric in front of her, effectively burying her face at his back.

He didn't flinch.

Other than his father giving him just a pat on the back.

She could do this. She would make him her own beautiful project.

He had to know, he deserved to know what a normal life looked like. What it was like to figure things out, to decide things for himself, to…fall in love.

Yes, in this night, when she realized that all her worry was for naught, all her denial reasonless, she understood it. Her smile was buried in the warmth of his back, in the subtle smell of smoke and ashes, as she engraved that in her mind, just like she did with his smile after Ennichi.

Oh, she'd do everything to see him smile more often.

Snuggling a little closer, burying her legs in the crook of his, while listening to his slowing breaths, she understood it all.

No, she'd known it before, but now she'd given it a name. Once it had a name, it was something completely and totally real.

She knew it was.

And yes, it was dumb, it was silly, it was way too fast to say anything about this. But with their circumstances? They'd get married anyway, so no one could blame her.

Everything about them was unusual, wasn't it? But it didn't matter, not to her.

That's how she'd fallen for him in the first place.

He was mysterious, he was unusual, he was weird and beautiful and made her smile like a lunatic in the middle of the night while making her worry all the same –

She loved him, with all her heart.

Notes:

*cries silently*

I kind of love this chapter. It's a step, a tiny little step, but it's a step forward. Really, if anyone can paint, please do.

I hope you liked it. Their talk, finally. Her reaction, finally. The...hug and warmth and safety.

Please, whoever's reading this, know that there's always someone out there wanting to protect you all the same, no matter how alone you might think you are. You're all wonderful and I hope you know it.

Chapter 14: Can beauty come out of ashes?

Summary:

Ashes - Celine Dion

Freed souls confining in each other - Talks held, promises made and futures made sure.

Notes:

Here I am again! :D

I don't know how I finish the chapter's this quickly at the moment, but I really hope you like what I did here. Many of you already guessed a little bit of what might happen, but here's the definite conclusion!

Anyway, no long talk today, here's THE FLUFF! Enjoy and feel free to tell me what you thought!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Where was she?

What time was it?

Blinking her eyes open slowly, Momo saw the room she was in was almost completely dark except for a tiny line of light entering the room from under the curtains.

It didn't matter, she supposed, when there was this comfortable warmth right next to her.

Closing her eyes again, she buried her face in the softness in front of her, relaxing again.

It kind of smelled like ashes, she realized.

Her eyes widened when she took in the soft breathing of the person next to her.

No way.

S-She had fallen asleep next to him?

Trying to map out the room in more detail, she saw how her arm was gently tugged around the body in front of her. Her face buried in the crook of his neck.

W-Was he such a deep sleeper he hadn't realized she'd touched him unconsciously?

Once her eyes got used to the darkness of the room, she sat up a little, carefully, so she wouldn't wake him up.
She was still lying on top of the comforter, yet she couldn't remember having been cold last night.

She couldn't believe this.

Her father would get a heart attack if he found out she'd slept in the same bed as her fiancée, and he'd never believe her they didn't do anything.

Of course they didn't, they'd just met officually after all.

And she was very sure he didn't like her in a...romantic way yet.

Did he even know where the line was? The line between friends and lovers?
Well, she did only explain friendship to him a few months ago.

She guessed they'd have to have many more talks about this.

Breathing deeply to calm herself down and get rid of the blush that must've tinted her cheeks, she traced his silhouette in the dark.

Her dream...suddenly made so much more sense.

Was he the blurry silhouette she'd dreamed about? And if he was, how come her mind already seemed to know the situation?

What had the silhouette said again?

She couldn't remember it. Annoyed at her brain for forgetting something like this, she furrowed her brows.

Shaking her head, she tried to trace the way his hair fell over his face, covering his scarred side.

Now she knew what this scar was from.

Endeavor...was an abusive husband and father, and no one seemed to know.

Or they just didn't bother to care.

She didn't lie when she said she'd protect him. He wasn't alone anymore, and he wasn't helpless anymore. She wouldn't let him get hurt. She definitely had to ask him about how it was now. So much explained itself through his past.

He seemed distant and aloof because he was raised in isolation.

He was strong and confident in his powers because it's the one thing he could be sure of, as it's the one thing he was trained to do all his life.

He was afraid of touch because he didn't know it could be something positive, as the only one who could've taught him so left him at a very young age, leaving him with the one who wouldn't.

Yes, she needed to show him what it was like to be loved, to feel needed and important.

She'd never allow him to think he was a tool for his father's dreams again.

Never again.

With that resolution, she gripped him even tighter, her mind switching into a protective mode.

Looking down at his sleeping form, she felt the need to stroke the hair out of his face. Just to look at his peaceful expression as he breathed slowly and deeply. Biting her lip, she suppressed the urge to do that as she didn't want to wake him up.

By the way…shouldn't she totally freak out after having fallen asleep next to her fiancée who'd turned out to be the boy she'd had a crush on for however long?

Well, somehow… she didn't. She was totally calm as she saw how peaceful and content he looked, a wide smile blooming on her face.

Then her eyes widened.

Was that what Kyouka meant when she said that she was…totally whipped?

Wow, her best friend had really known all along, hadn't she? Was she really that see-through? And if she was…Was that why her mother had her figured out that easily?

When she heard a soft knock on the door, her eyes widened.

Oh.

Oh no.

The moment the door opened and the person knocking realized the situation in front of her, time seemed to stand still.

"Lady-" Ari started, but got quickly interrupted by Momo who put her index finger on her mouth to symbolize that she'd rather the maid stayed silent.

Momo blushed as the maid looked at her, eyebrows raised while the light from the open door filled the room. The boy next to her mumbled something in his sleep, while she couldn't do anything except smile at how adorable he looked, finally having light in the room.

"I can explain!" she whispered, only loud enough so Ari could hear her, "I'll wake him up. We'll be right there."

Ari sighed, judging them quietly.

"Breakfast is waiting," she whispered an answer and Momo nodded relieved.

"Please don't tell dad," the raven haired girl pleaded before biting her lip.

"You'll have to explain that," she answered with a smug smirk.

Before Momo could say anything to explain the situation (even though she wasn't even sure how to actually explain any of this), the door was closed again.

The boy next to her started moving, taking a deep breath as he pulled the comforter up to bury his face.
Mentally, Momo cried at having to destroy the absolutely adorable slumber, yet she knew she'd have to wake him up or else her mother was going to look after them (mostly her) personally.

That…really shouldn't happen.

But…how…was she supposed to call him?

Should she stick to the surname for now? But he'd asked her to call him by his first name.

How would he react to realizing she'd slept next to him? In his bed? Touching him?

Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, she decided she'd have to find out eventually.

"Shou-….Shouto," she whispered, gently shaking his shoulder, embarrassed by her stuttering.

He grumbled something into his pillow.

He was so, so adorable, was the only thing she could think.

"Wake up, it's morning," she said, a little louder now as he didn't seem to want to wake up.

"Yao-…Momo?" he answered sleepily, blinking a few times.

Only then did she realize she was actually still clinging to him like a monkey. Awkwardly scooting away, she climbed down from the bed.

She walked over to the curtains, opening them a little.

She also didn't think about how…disastrous she looked right after getting up, yet she knew it was too late to feel self-conscious now.

"I-I'm sorry," she said, "I…I fell asleep."

Turning around to him, she saw how he blinked into the light, this time a lot brighter than the subtle lighting coming in from the hallway a few moments ago. Heterochromatic eyes looked at her, still a little hazy and clouded over with sleep. There was no order in the way his two toned hair fell into his face as he slowly sat up, still mumbling nonsense.

"You… stayed?" he asked, blinking at her again, before averting his gaze. She swore she could see a slight blush covering his cheeks.

Somehow she had a feeling there was more behind this question than it sounded like.

"I'll always stay with you, if you allow me to," she answered smiling.

"Say that again," he mumbled.

She realized how worn out and raspy his voice was when he just woke up.

Yes, she openly admitted that she liked it a lot.

Walking over to the bed, she observed him as he rubbed his sleepy eyes, pushing the comforter away while rolling onto his back.
Taking place on the edge of the bed, she gently placed a hand on his arm, covered by the comforter.
"Do you want me to stay?" she openly asked.

Maybe he'd say yes.

Maybe he… felt the same around her.

But even if he didn't, he'd say yes, but… did he even have as much of a choice as she had?
Endeavor didn't seem like he would've left him any choice.

"I…" he mumbled, clearing his voice, "I'd like that."

She nodded smiling.

"Then I will stay," she said her resolution.

He started biting his lip, ruffling his hair and effectively stroking it out of his face.

She was mesmerized by the way his two toned hair, dual colored eyes and mysterious scar made him look like everything she ever could've wanted.

Well, if Ashido asked her what her ideal type was again – she couldn't just answer 'Todoroki', could she? Yeah, she never really had an ideal type. She didn't think too much about dating, or about her romantic future at all.

She didn't think she'd get engaged at such a young age, yet here she was, with him at her side, who just said he'd like her to stay by his side.

It's not like she'd really searched for anyone, or planned anything.

She only knew she wanted to become a hero.

Now she was engaged, she was in love, and even if the boy in front of her wasn't yet – they'd figure it out, they definitely would.

How did their classmates always say?

They'd be the power couple.

She agreed. They cancelled out each other's weaknesses.

"Yaoyorozu," he said and she furrowed her brows at him, as his eyes widened for a second before they went back into a half asleep state, "Momo," he said, "I don't even know how I can thank you."

"Just stay by my side," she answered, smiling brightly, "Give it your all and I'll be happy. You can decide your own life, and I will help you as far as I can."

"Are you…okay that you can't decide who-"

"Yes," she answered, "I'm very okay. I probably wouldn't have been if it wasn't you, though," she admitted while she looked away, trying to ignore her flushed cheeks.

He was silent for a while.

They really should hurry, as her parents were waiting for them at the breakfast table.

"I…I hope you won't regret it," he said and she looked at him again, tilting her head, "What if I become like him?"

"You won't."

She playfully hit his shoulder which was still covered by the comforter and he flinched a little.

"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes going wide, but he shook his head.

"It's okay. I trust you," he said, "It's just still…unusual."

She nodded, carefully and slowly moving her hand back to the place she'd bumped before and gently stroked it, noticing how he shivered at the touch.

"Are you okay?" she asked, "After the first little hug?"

"Yeah," he asked, nodding, and she again realized how worn out and straight-out disastrous he looked. Yet also really…gorgeous, just like always, "I'm…really fine. I liked it a lot more than I thought."

Relieved, Momo sighed.

"Perfect," she answered, leaning back, "Breakfast?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

She had fallen asleep next to him.

She really had.

Shouto didn't know what he was supposed to think, supposed to do. It was just…unbelievable to him. Nothing had happened. He hadn't even woken up before she woke him up. That…wasn't something he was used to. Did he really feel…that comforted, that safe, just because she was there?
It didn't seem possible – he didn't react, didn't panic or get uncomfortable at all.

How…was this even possible?

He'd certainly have to ask the doctor.

He'd certainly have to tell Midoriya first though.

Sighing, he brushed his hair in the private bathroom. Looking around, he again realized how different they were. She was used to this. To maids, golden door handles and marble floors. In contrast, he was used to futon beds, paper walls and uncomfortable atmospheres. This…was just different, in every way. And even when her father made him totally uncomfortable, it was still better than the thought of a surprise attack in the back of his mind he had gotten so used to over the years.
That was one of the reasons he didn't ever sleep really well, so sleeping without waking up once was…a good turn of events.

Just because she hugged him.

And it wasn't even a real hug, she'd said.

Brushing his teeth, he walked through the room, taking out his clothes for the day, which were thankfully a lot more comfortable than that white suit. After having finished washing up, he threw on the pair of jeans, as well as a white shirt. Just the usual clothes he wore in his free time.

Somehow he was glad Endeavor wasn't here. He wouldn't want to deal with his father right when he was…rather okay.

Leaving the room, he looked left and right in the hallway, seeing two black dressed woman walking through it.

Where…was he supposed to go?

Was breakfast going to be in the same hall as yesterday?

Swallowing, he realized he should probably just ask someone.

As if it was that easy.
"Good morning," both of the woman said in synch, bowing lightly. He should ask.

"Morning," he answered, blinking slowly, "Where…?" he then started, annoyed at himself for having no idea what exactly he was asking.

"Breakfast is held at the big hall, where dinner was held yesterday. In case, it's down the corridor, to the right and then behind the big doors in the Foyer," a blonde maid explained, smiling politely and bowing again.

"Thanks," he answered, bowing back as well, to which she bowed even deeper.
Awkwardly turning around, he followed the way the maid had told him before.

"So that's our Lady's future husband?" the other maid said when he was almost out of reach, but he stopped around the corner, not wanting to eavesdrop, but wanting to eavesdrop. "He's super cute," the maid that explained the way answered, "That's luck in this situation, I'd say," she then added.

Shouto took up walking again, trying to ignore that his cheeks might be getting a little warm. And that not because of his Quirk.

When he walked up to said door, he found his next hurdle. Was he…supposed to knock? Or just go in? Or…

He was very, very unsure of what to do.

"You can just go in," Yaoyorozu said, walking up to him as he turned his head around to look at her.
She now looked a lot less disheveled then she did a few minutes prior when they'd just woken up. Wearing a black knee long skirt with a red silky shirt. Her hair was put up in her usual spiky ponytail.
She was smiling at him, opening the door when she passed him, which he used as an opening to slip into the room.

"Good morning," he was greeted by her parents. Her mother was reading the newspapers while stirring the liquid in her cup, while her father was sitting on her right, not at the head of the table this time, preparing bread.
"…Good morning," he hesitantly answered, not knowing where to sit or what to do in general.

When Yaoyorozu realized his awkwardness, she went to the chair opposite her mother and pulled it out while she motioned at the one next to her for him to sit.

Opposite her father.

Great.

Please, if there was a deity or anything else somewhere, don't let him make it even more awkward, was all the dual-haired teen could think.

He then took place next to his future wife. This felt so…unreal, still.

"How did you sleep?" her father asked before taking a first bite of his bread – which, now, from a closer perspective, was visible to be covered in jam. Shouto didn't know what to make of his facial expression – he looked like he…was planning something.
Yes, Shouto didn't like that at all.

Just with perfect timing, he noticed how Yaoyorozu started blushing.
Well…He guessed he wasn't really better.

The conspirational face her father had turned into a sly smirk when he set his bread back on the plate, swallowing his food and taking a sip from his cup.

"What can I bring you, sir?" a maid suddenly asked Shouto, who blinked surprised while looking up at her, "Tea or Coffee? Or hot chocolate?"

Questioning, he looked at his fiancée who nodded smiling politely at him.

He turned back to the maid, long blue hair stacked up in various interesting formations on her head, as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Do you have green tea?" he asked fast, knowing he must look even more awkward than he felt.

"Of course. One green tea then?" the maid then asked, formal smile on her lips, before he nodded and she reciprocated the gesture and then turned towards the girl on his right.
"English breakfast?" the maid asked the raven haired girl. "Yes, please," she answered while smiling at her. The maid quickly left the room.

Shouto darted his attention back to the man sitting opposite him.

He suddenly craved the comfortable morning chatter he held with his sister on school days. It was less…stressful.

The man cleared his voice.

"So…Ari told us-"

"We didn't do anything!" Yaoyorozu blurted out, cheeks having become even more red as Shouto tried to understand the situation.

Then his eyes went wide.

Wait.

Did someone see them?

"What did you not do?" her mother then asked, interestedly putting down the newspaper to look at her daughter, as well as her future son-in-law.
"Ari told us you slept in. Is there something else you should tell us?" her father added, looking at Shouto intensely.

The half and half boy swallowed.

He wanted to go back to sleep, like, forever or so.

"Don't tell me I'm going to become a grandpa already, I'm not ready for that," her father then said with wide eyes, true terror being the visible emotion.

"No!" Yaoyorozu said, waving her arms around in a negating manner, "I may have slept in his bed but-"

"You what?" her mother chimed in.
"I- This is a long story," she tried to explain and all Shouto could do was look back and forth in horror.

"You slept in his bed with him after a day-"

"We've known each other for a while now!" Yaoyorozu argued, "I'd trust him with my life, that's nothing."

She trusted him with his life.

She signed the contract, officially linking their lives together.

Why would she do that? What had he done to deserve her trust?

"…My baby daughter is growing up, Itsume," her father said, staring at the candles on the table absent-mindedly.
"Did you at least stay safe?" her mother then asked, leaning back in her seat and putting her arms on the armrests of the chair.

Shouto was glad she handled the situation.

He wasn't sure what he'd do if-

"Didn't you say you weren't going to touch my daughter?" her father asked him accusingly.

Shouto was never more scared than he was at this moment.

"Mom! Dad! Really, I swear, we did nothing else except sleep," she then explained, shaking her head, "We talked, and we fell asleep."

A sigh of relief came from her father, who clutched his heart in a dramatic way. "Thank god, I'm too young to be a grandpa."

Her father was…a little strange?

Relief also washed over Shouto as the older man theatrically went back to eating his bread.

"Yaoyorozu," Shouto said and the room turned quiet as the younger Yaoyorozu girl looked at him, her cheeks still a little flushed.

His heart skipped a beat.

She was so adorable.

He didn't even know that he was able to feel like this.

"Thank you," he said, looking at the – still empty – plate in front of him. They hadn't even gotten their tea yet – this morning was off to a great start.

"What for?" she said quietly.

Yeah, exactly.

What was he even thanking her for?

"For everything," he answered.

Her smile at his moment, during this super uncomfortable situation on a Sunday morning told him absolutely everything and nothing at the same time.

He didn't understand what was wrong with his heart.

'Girl, I've been bombarding your phone for a whole evening, if you don't text back or call me in the next fifteen minutes, I'm going to run over to your place to check on you,' Jirou's text said.

Momo started blushing again, sitting on her bed after breakfast. Todoroki was back in his room as well to check in with Endeavor.
Putting a stray strand of raven hair behind her ear, she let herself fall backwards, letting her legs tumble off the bed.
Taking a deep, somehow not calming breath, she pressed call.

Her purple haired friend answered at the second ring.

"Yaoyorozu Momo, if you do that again I'm going to die of a heart attack and it's going to be your fault alone!" she was greeted by Jirou.
"I'm sorry, Kyouka," she answered, smiling bashfully, fully aware that the person on the other line couldn't see her, "Yesterday was just…very long and very surprising."
"I know," Jirou answered, "Tell me everything."
Momo was just taking a breath to get started before she got interrupted.
"Don't tell me I guessed right. Is it really…?"
"Yes," she answered, "It's Todoroki. He's my fiancée."

There was silence on the line for a while.

"You're really not joking?" Jirou then asked unbelievingly.
"No, I'm not joking. I have been engaged to Todoroki Shouto since I was five years old," she explained, "And I started liking him without knowing that," she could hear Jirou gasp on the other line, "Yes, all of my worries were for nothing."
"You're worries turned to naught? Yaomomo, there's more-"
"I know. I'm silly, I know. I'm totally silly," she was shaking her head while her legs swayed back and forth, "But I fell asleep with him in my arms and I don't think I've ever felt happier, safer, or more relieved in my life."
"Wow," Jirou breathed, "You sound a lot happier as well- Hold on," there was rustling on the other line, as if the girl was changing positions, "You fell asleep with him in your arms? What the heck were you doing? Wait, no, I don't want to know. Or…no, tell me. For god's sake-"
Momo interrupted her because she started laughing, full out, with all of her heart.
Wiping a laughing tear out of the corner of her eye, she looked at the ceiling.
"Jirou, we didn't do anything, I swear. He's a little…" Momo didn't know what she should say. She couldn't just tell her best friend that her future husband had a phobia. But…she'd heard of the panic attack. She'd been next to her after all.
"A little?" Jirou asked.
Of course she wouldn't leave it at that.
"Do you remember the night where Midoriya had called me because of Todoroki's panic attack?" She asked, rather fast, in case she'd change her mind mid-sentence.
"How could I forget? You looked like you'd have one as well when he didn't react to his last name," the girl on the other line clarified, "Why do you ask?"
"I…I found out why it happened," Momo admitted, "And I don't think I should tell you the details, it's not my story to tell, but I think it's important, so I'll need you to keep it a secret."

"…Is it that bad? Do you need my support?"

Momo swallowed.

"Yes," she answered. It was that bad.

Jirou sighed.

"Alright. I promise I'll keep it a secret," the purple haired girl promised.

Biting her lower lip, Momo dreaded to answer.

Was this really…a good idea?

"Hold on," she said and the girl answered with a quiet 'Okay' while Momo took her phone to swipe out of the phone call and open her contacts. Quickly she typed a message to the person in question.

'Is it okay if I tell Jirou about…the situation? She might be able to help,' Momo hit send.

"Okay, I asked him if I can tell. I don't want to do this behind his back," she explained to her waiting phone partner.
Jirou chuckled quietly.
"You're the best, and I think I'm speaking not only for myself here," the purple haired girl said, "While we're waiting, how about you tell me some details about yesterday?"

The blush on her cheeks returned.

"W-Well," Momo started, "I guess we were both very surprised to find out. He didn't know it was me either," she said, turning until she was lying on her belly, "He…wasn't that happy to see me, I think."
"Yaomomo, I'm sure he was relieved-"
"Yes, he was, in the end. But he tried to get me to say no first. I think he was…very scared."
"Why?" Jirou asked.
"I'll tell you when he allows me to inform you."
"I somehow have a feeling that it's not going to be something nice, am I right?"
"Yes," the raven haired girl answered.
"Does it have to do with you 'sleeping with him in your arms'?" her friend's quotation marks were almost hearable, just as her slight amusement.
"If I explain it to you, you'll understand why there couldn't have happened anything between us – at least not physically."
"Physically? How about emotionally?"
"Y-You see-" Momo was interrupted by the vibration of her phone.

'I trust you, Momo,' the answer read.

So much was implied by that text – she didn't know where to start.
Her heart started to beat a little faster again, a light sob escaping her lips.

"Holy- Are you crying again?" Jirou asked.

"No," she explained, wiping away a tear that wouldn't let itself be held back, "I'm just really, really happy at the moment."

He said he trusted her, Momo. He'd called her by her first name, just like they'd said yesterday, so she knew he actually meant what he had said. He again implied that he trusted her judgement. Her mind, her plans. This text meant that it was okay for her to tell, as long as she was sure it was a good idea, helping them in the long term.

'Thank you for trusting me, Shouto,' she replied, carefully typing his first name and smiling at her phone like a lunatic.

"He said yes to explaining it," she told her friend.
"Okay, then go. Tell me."

"It's still not that easy, it's a very serious topic."

"I know, that's why I'm sitting here waiting impatiently," her friend replied, mocking her vocabulary a little bit.

Momo smiled. Her best friend was the best friend.

Then her smile vanished, as her hand on the phone started to shake a little.

"He's…getting abused by his father," she said.

She could hear another gasp on the other line.

"This- What?" Jirou said unbelievingly, "His father is Endeavor, isn't he?"
"Yes, that is correct."
"And Endeavor is the number two hero and has always been?"
"Yes."
"You're joking," Jirou whispered, "Please tell me you're joking."
"I wish I was," Momo said, closing her eyes for a while to get herself to go on.

"This can't be true. Todoroki Shouto is getting abused by his father, the number two hero?" the purple haired girl asked, "In…which way?"
"He started physically training him to become stronger than All Might when he was five years old," she said, taking a deep breath to keep calm, which was not working at all, "Can…Can you believe this? He was only a little child."
Silence greeted her, in which she could hear her friend take a deep breath as well.

"This is…so damn messed up," Jirou whispered, "Did he really…hurt his own child because he couldn't surpass All Might?"
"Yes, Jirou, he did. And that's why he was all alone in this world, and terrified when..."
"When…?" the purple haired girl asked nervously.

Momo bit her lip for a second.

She could do this.

Jirou would surely help her.

"Todoroki is afraid of physical touch, and he broke down at the Midoriya's because someone held his hand," she said, looking at her own hand.

"Just from…holding a hand? But…Yaomomo, what are you going to do…?" her friend said questioningly.

"I think I can help him," Momo admitted. She did think that after all.

"How…?"

"Well…We were holding hands for a really long time and nothing happened. And…he fell asleep in my arms when I explained and showed him how a hug could be comforting."

Jirou took a deep, deep breath before she chuckled a little.

"You two are made for each other, I won't even try to deny it," the earphone jack hero-in-training said, "I guess if there has to be someone who could do this, it would be you."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, you'll understand one day," Jirou said chuckling, "Tell me, is the ice princess as stoic and deadpan while sleeping?"

"No," Momo said and Jirou stopped laughing, "He looked peaceful, almost happy. And he's not 'the ice princess', he's warm," she explained, recalling the warmth radiating from him even as there was a comforter between them, "Like a fireplace in the dead of winter."

"Urgh," Jirou replied, laughing again, "You're so sappy."

Momo playfully pouted, before she burst out in laughter as well.

"Well, I guess I like you more when you're sappy than when you're all gloomy and self-depreciating," her friend clarified.

"You'll have to thank him for that. He helped me a lot when I didn't even know how to help myself," she said, "Can you believe this? I'm going to marry him."

"Always those rich people. Did you exchange rings or anything?"

Her friends response made Momo halt.

"No," she answered, "We didn't."

"So the engagement is only on paper?"

"I…I guess."

"Don't you think…all of this is a little rushed? I mean, you're not even sixteen, just because he is already doesn't mean any of this makes sense. You're not even legal to vote yet."

"Pfft," Momo put a hand in front of her mouth to keep her laughter in check. Her mother definitely wouldn't like her to start laughing like a lunatic.

"What's so funny?"

"You know Todoroki's born in January, don't you?"

"Yes, January 11th 2002, which makes him sixteen years old now."

"2003."

"What?"

"He's born in 2003."

"…Are you serious?"

"Yes. I didn't know either."

"He's younger than both of us?"

"Younger than most of the class."

"I can't look at him the same anymore," Jirou said disbelieving, "The confident mysterious badass turned out to be a hurt child. This explains so, so much."

"He's super cute if you get to know him better. I..I saw him blush."

"He what?"

"He blushed, he totally did. And it was just as cute and beautiful as his little smiles."

"Okay, enough, please. He's supposed to be your hubby, not mine. Stop bragging."

"Alright," Momo said, smiling smugly, "How did the date with Kaminari go?"

"It was not a date!" the purple haired girl tried to defend herself.

"You went to watch a romance movie with him. Why else would you watch that if it wasn't for his 'sappy taste'?"

"It. Was. Not. A. Date!"

"Of course, it wasn't, I see. Just like you don't like to see his derp face when he uses his Quirk too much."

"Come on, who doesn't find his Jamming-Whey derp face funny?!"

"You've even given it a name!"

"Argh, I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do hate you for making it impossible for me to hate you."

Momo was happy. She was seriously happy. She felt as if she could take on the world right now.

Even when she knew that nothing was really 'fine', she was optimistic.

They could do this, and she was-

"Though, Yaomomo, if you want to teach him about affection, don't you need to actually touch him? Or…like kiss him or something?"

"W-Well," Momo started, blushing strongly. She hadn't even thought about that yet! Sure, she'd said that 'stuff like that' could be done later – but…but what if that later came around?

"You don't even have a plan, do you?"

The raven haired girl sighed.

"Not yet. I think…It's best if we just take it slow. I- I'm pretty nervous about this as well, though."

"That sounds smart," Jirou answered, "Hold on. Your situation reminds me of those medieval movies with arranged marriages. Do you have this…" she lowered her voice, as if someone could overhear their conversation, "…'consummation' of a marriage stuff in the contract?"

Turning completely red, Momo started fidgeting and throwing around her arm that she didn't hold the phone with.

"No! Oh god, no. There's nothing like that."

Jirou started laughing loudly, but stopped suddenly.

"Why did I say that? I didn't want those pictures in my head."

All of the embarrassment Momo had felt a moment before dissipated as she filled the quiet with quiet chuckling.

"And you're really okay now?" Jirou then asked, atmosphere turning serious again.

"I am. I'm more than okay. I don't now if I'd ever asked him out or anything. Sometimes…fate has to intervene to let it end up best, doesn't it?"

"…You believe in fate?" the purple haired girl asked wonderingly.
"I…I don't know. A part of me tells me it was just coincidence, that ten years ago a contract was made that would now change two lives, and possibly save one of them," Momo took a deep breath, exhaling shakily, "What if we didn't end up in this situation?" she asked, putting a stray hair behind her ear as she sat up, facing the headboard of her bed, "We wouldn't have met that day in front of school, we wouldn't have become close friends at Ennichi, he wouldn't have escorted me home and fallen asleep next to me after five minutes of riding the bus, or let me see his beautiful, heartfelt smile when he'd made sure I reached home safely," she shook her head, "He wouldn't have been able to save me from my dissipating self-esteem. I…" she bit her lip, "My heart wouldn't have started beating like crazy whenever I saw him," lowering her gaze to the floor, she went on.

"What…if in this other world, in which we would've been free, I started hating him because I just couldn't catch up? What…what would that have been like? I don't even want to think about it," she looked at her fingernails, "I…I'm happy how it is."

She could hear Jirou take a breath to start talking, but she wasn't finished yet.

"I know I have no way of knowing if all of this is going to go well, if we'll have a happy ending. I only know how I feel, and I don't think I could live a life without him in it, even if we're only really friends at the moment. I really do like him, Jirou. There's so much I don't know, so much I don't even have an idea of how bad it is, or if there's parts of him I dislike or anything, but I couldn't care less at the moment," she said, "All that matters is that he's here, and he's agreed to try," nodding, she tucked her legs underneath her body, "I- No, we all are trying to become heroes, but none of us seemed to notice that someone needed saving while he was right next to us."

"Yaomomo…"

"I'll save him because I'm going to be a hero. I want to at least be a hero to one person, just like he was to me. And if that allows me to get to love him, I'll have to try even more!"

Silence greeted her from the other line.

Then she could hear a silent sigh.

"You're going to be the best hero of us all," Jirou said quietly, taking a deep breath, "You're going to be okay, I'll make sure you two are going to be," she cleared her voice, "Officially, I'll now declare myself as the president of the todomomo fan club. Ashido can't win against me with knowledge alone."

"The…what?"

Notes:

What did you think of Momo's awakening next to him?
And how he obviously didn't react to her actually TOUCHING him while he slept?

What do you say to Momo putting them in the most embarrassing situations? And how Ari is best-friend - keeping it a secret?

Also, Kyouka being best girl, and the founder and president of the TODOMOMO fanclub! :D

But, because you know me and how I write - engrave the fluff in your mind. There's stuff going to come *evil laughter*

Everyone, have a beautiful day, tell me what you think :D

Chapter 15: Give me back my innocence 'cause I wish to dream again

Summary:

Given and Denied - Poets of the Fall

Love is a feeling unknown to many - but even when you think you can't feel - if it hurts, if it breaks you, if it makes it possible for you to change...couldn't it be wonderful?

Notes:

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Midoriya," Shouto said when the green haired hero-in-training answered the phone.
"Todoroki!" the loud and excited answer came from across the line, which let him feel relieved that he'd put the speaker on already and thrown the phone onto the bed, while he sat cross legged, using his knees as leverage.
"How are you? What happened? Who is it? You don't seem angry so I'm guessing it's not as bad as I thought it would be, but still, I never really know when it's you-"
"It's fine," the dual Quirk user interrupted.
"What?" Midoriya said, confused and quiet after the sudden interruption to his mumbling.
"It's okay," he said, "She's…more than nice."

The voice on the phone paused, before a deep breath could be heard.

"Who is it?" Midoriya asked interested. Shouto bit on his lip for a second, contemplating again if he should tell his friend.
Of course he should. Midoriya already knew everything and he wanted his help after all, didn't he?

"It's…" Shouto started, taking another deep breath and exhaling it shakily, "…someone you know as well."
"What?" his friend said, obviously about to overthink it, "A classmate of ours? But the only ones having a business which might need help are- Wait, don't tell me it's Uraraka!"
"No, it's not."

A sigh of relief flooded through the phone.

"It's Yaoyorozu," Shouto then explained. He expected his friend to break out in laughter, or to sigh again, or whatever, yet the half and half Quirk user didn't think he would be greeted with silence.
"…Wow," the green haired teen answered after a while, "Yaoyorozu, as in Yaoyorozu Momo?"
"Yes," he replied.

"This…this is a twist."
"What?"
"Nothing," Midoriya said, voice calm and collected, even though Shouto would've expected him to be excited, or angry, or anything else, "How are you?"

He stayed quiet for a while, trying to gather his thoughts. His father had arranged a marriage for him, caging him just like he always did, just to leave him here alone. Just why did it seem that Shouto wasn't as angry as he usually would've been? He wasn't about to freeze anyone in a full-power output glacier. It was like he was…"Happy."

Midoriya gasped on the other side of the line, the sound barely audible over his own breathing.

"I-…Really? You're happy? You're not…angry, or afraid, or anything? You know you can talk to me."
"I know, but I'm fine," Shouto started, shaking his head, "I…I told her everything."
"You told her? Did she sign the-"
"Yeah," Shouto interrupted.

Yes, she signed the contract, even though he couldn't really understand how that's possible.

"What did she say?"
"She…" he wasn't sure if he was supposed to say it, a slight blush already tinting his cheeks, but he knew Midoriya wouldn't judge them, "She said she'd protect me while…" he swallowed, "…hugging me."
"She said what?! She did what?! She hugged you? Are you okay? What happened? Did you…Did you…?"
"No," he said, "I didn't panic. I didn't freeze anyone either."

"Mh," Midoriya whispered, "I see. Her call also pulled you out of it last time, didn't it? I understand now."
"Understand what?"

Midoriya went quiet again.

"I don't think it's my place to tell you that," he started, "But what do you think it might be?"

Shouto let himself fall back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, while he wiped his hair out of his eyes.
"I…I don't know," he admitted, "I just don't want to lose what I have with her."
"What…do you have with her?"
"We're…" he thought about what she said the day before, "…friends."
"Friends?" his friend asked, "Just 'friends'?"

"What else?" he asked, frowning out of confusion. What else was it supposed to be?
Midoriya went quiet again, which told Shouto that he probably knew the answer but just couldn't grasp it yet.

"Midoriya," he then asked, "What does 'lovers' mean?"
"E-Ehm, lovers, you mean?" the green haired hero-in-training started, "I-I'm not sure I'm the right person to ask this, but I guess, well, how can I say this?" he started mumbling, "Lovers are two people in love, who like each other a lot and also really like the other's company and could spend days around each other without even realizing how much time has passed-"
"What does it mean to be 'in love'?"
"Eh," his friend said, "That's…difficult to say."

"Try," Shouto said, but realized how brash he was, so he added a solemn, breathy 'Please'.
"Love is…a warm feeling you get when you're around a person,…some also say it's like butterflies in your belly. For example, when that person smiles, it's like your heart skips a beat or you can't breathe for a second because that person is just that breathtaking. I think it's also a feeling of wanting to protect and support that person, to make sure all of their goals are reachable. I think…it can be a beautiful feeling."

Shouto stared at the ceiling. This…seemed almost like everything he felt when he was around her. But this wasn't possible, was it? He didn't even know what he was supposed to do with those feelings.

"And, well, if you think about lovers in context, it might also be a person you can completely bare yourself to – Oh god, I meant emotionally – like…you could fall asleep in their arms because you just know that they'd protect you if there was anything to happen. You could trust them with your life – and it's also the other way around," he said, sighing quietly, "At least that's what I think."

Was this…
No way.

"Midoriya," Shouto said, running a hand through his hair, "I.."
"What?"
"I fell asleep in her arms."

He sat up in his bed. This wasn't possible. He couldn't have not recognized that earlier. Why…When…Did this…? "Did you hear me? When she hugged me I fell asleep in her arms. And she stayed until morning."

"T-Todoroki…!" Midoriya now said loudly, "That's…"
"Does that…Does that mean…?"
"I can't tell you that…I mean…It would certainly make sense after how dazed you always look when she calls you or…or how she could pull you out of a panic attack that actually made you freeze yourself…Or how you're fine with the girl you'll have to marry being her – Oh god, it all makes so much sense now. You two…and how you're connected."
"Is that true?" his eyes widened as he sat up completely, hanging his legs off the bed, and leaning forward while he ran his right hand through his hair again.

Could this really…?
When did this?
How?

He didn't think it was possible – He didn't even know what it is!
Was this was his mother had told him about? That he couldn't decide that for himself? That it just happened, without context? Without explanation?
This…wasn't possible. How did…
How did one single girl, with a heart warmer than any hug his mother gave him, warmer than any fire he could ever produce, find her way into his icy, hidden shell of a heart?

Was this really possible?

"It was nice meeting you," he said unaffected, just as his usual tone of voice set out to be. His packed bag was hung over his shoulder, as he was standing in the foyer of the Yaoyorozu household. His father had called to tell him the driver would arrive in a few minutes. He held out a hand to her mother, who took it, smiling politely.
"I'm glad I got to meet you in person as well," she said, "I'm very pleased to see you're treating my daughter with respect. I…didn't think a Todoroki would agree to giving a woman the right of freedom."

Of course he'd treat her with respect. There was no way in hell he'd ever become his father.
Mentally, he sighed. He hadn't gotten the chance to really talk to her again. His mind was confused, his heart even more so. This was all…so surreal.

Was this really happening?

"She deserves it," he answered, blinking to clear his mind, "I'm not Endeavor."
"Yes, I agree," she answered him as she looked at him, searching for some kind of conclusion or answer to the questions she'd never asked, "You're not like your father."

She let go of his hand and he let go of the concentration he needed to make sure he wouldn't react.

"He would've never let us change any of the clauses of the contract. He's very…" she looked to the side. When Shouto followed her gaze, he saw Yaoyorozu standing next to her mother, looking surprised. He didn't know what she could've been thinking about.
"Bad?" Shouto answered and her mother pursed her lips, scolding him unconsciously about his ruthless comment.
"Come here, boy," her father said suddenly, darting his attention to the older man, who held out his right hand to him. Shouto took the hand, just to be pulled in close, flinching a little at the sudden gesture.

He had thought that he'd receive a threat now.

"Please look out for my little girl, she's not as confident as she looks. But I guess you already know that," he said, putting both of his hands on the younger boy's shoulders to push him a little away again, still keeping a firm hold onto him.
He then patted his shoulder twice, Shouto taking all his power to not embarrass himself. It was okay though, there was a lot of fabric between them – He tried his best to think about the fluffy and safe comforter.
"Don't worry about my humor. I know you'll treat her right, you're a good one," he said.

Wait. What?

Shouto thought the man hated him because…well, that's what it had seemed like all along? Making him uncomfortable every chance he got. Her father thought he was a good one?
To his surprised facial expression, the man only laughed, letting go of his shoulders.

"Yep, it was a test. A boy that openly tells a girl she deserves the world can't be a bad one. I'm sorry for scaring you," he said, smiling formally.
"It's…fine," Shouto replied and her father's smile widened a little more.

Turning towards his fiancée, he lost whatever he wanted to say.
Swallowing, he held out a hand to her as well.

"I guess I'll get going now," he whispered, suddenly unsure of himself. He didn't really want to leave, not now.
There was so much which was still unclear, which still didn't make sense.

"I'm glad you were here," she then whispered and he looked into her eyes, which showed such warmth, such affection and happiness in them, that he smiled at her as well.
"I…" he started, "I guess I'm glad it was you."

Her eyes widened a little. He had to ask. Somehow.

"Yaoyorozu," he started and she blinked, nodding her head, "Do you, maybe, want to do something next week? With me? Like…we wanted to train together."
She turned towards her mother, who nodded after a moment. "Of course. When?" she smiled at him.
"Wednesday? I've got hero-training at UA on Monday and Tuesday, but the rest of the week is free."
"I'm free on Wednesday," she said, before she suddenly blushed a little, "Is that a date?"
"…Only if you want it to be," he answered, bashfully looking to his side.

Her smile was bright that day. His breathing stopped for a moment, his heart racing in his chest as the butterflies in his belly couldn't seem to calm down. Yet, he was scared.
He was scared of being the one to turn her smile into tears.

Because the ones who got hurt…

Momo was smiling solemnly as she walked through the Foyer and into the living room, where her parents were sitting on the bigger couch, both of them with a cup of tea in hand.
"Momo, darling," her mother said, smiling at her, "Would you sit down with us for a minute?"
"Of course," she answered, taking place on the couch opposite of the one her parents sat on, the reddish fabric soft underneath her fingers.

"What do you say? How…is he, really?" her father asked carefully.
"Didn't you say he was a good one?" she asked with furrowed brows. Hadn't her father just made clear that her fiancée was rather okay?
"I did. But I want to hear what you think, not what I observed," he answered, leaning forward and putting the porcelain cup onto the small table next to them, "You probably know him better than us."

So that's what he wanted.
Momo smiled, knowing that her blush must've returned.

"And you slept in his bed. With him," he added, accusingly looking at her. And her blush turned even brighter. Her mother looked at her interestedly, crossing her legs elegantly.
"I think I'll have to tell you something first," she said and her father's facial expression turned horrified, "Nothing like that, dad," she quickly added, but he didn't really relax, "I…I'm really okay with how it turned out. I was angry at first, disappointed at having no say in all this, but it's fine because it's him."
"So I was right?" her mother then chimed in. Momo looked into her eyes. Itsume's usual polite and formal smile had wavered a little, warmth and care in her eyes that she hadn't seen since she was very, very little.
"Yes," Momo nodded, "I like him, a lot actually. He's helped me through bad times, I've helped him. We…respect each other a lot. He's a good boy, and I'm optimistic, no, I'm sure he's going to become an even greater man."

"Don't you worry that he's going to be like his father?" her father then asked and his wife shot him an incredulous look. "Itsume, he's always been a little mad, but since his wife was hospita-" Her mother had lifted a hand to interrupt her husband.

"So you knew?" Momo asked. Had they really known of everything that was going on in the Todoroki household?
"Momo," her mother asked pointedly, "You know that Endeavor's wife was hospitalized for a burn-out?"

A…burn out?

They…had no idea. Should she tell them it wasn't that? Tell them everything was ten times worse than they guessed?

"Yes, I knew."
She was a coward. She couldn't tell them the truth. They'd hate him if she told them. They shouldn't, no, they couldn't hate Shouto.
"He's not his father," she said, "And he's never going to become like him. I'll make sure of it."
"Momo, darling," her mother started again as her smile turned sad, "We never know what becomes of the people close to us. Just because you want to – and I'm proud of you for saying so – you can't save a person if there's already a future planned for them."

Did she just…No, Momo, stay calm.

"There's nothing like fate, or a greater plan or anything," she said loudly, surely, "And even if there is, I'm going to change it."
"It wouldn't be called fate if it could be changed," her father whispered sadly, staring at the open fireplace next to him in which no fire had burned in years.

Momo started chuckling.
"I remember having that conversation before," she whispered, smiling at the floor to her feet, "But back then, the roles were switched." Her parents exchanged a confused look.

"I don't know what you're trying to do, or why you'd want me to overthink everything I've got with him, but it's not working," she said, looking up at them to look from one person to the other and back again, "Endeavor is a madman that calls himself a hero, and his son is a better hero than him already, because he's saved someone without any hidden motives or statistics in mind."
"He already saved someone? Who?" her father asked, eyebrows furrowed.
"Me," she replied, stern and serious expression effectively stopping her parents from saying anything, "When I came home after finals to tell you I passed, I realized I did it after many, many days of torturing myself about how unworthy I was of everything I could even think about. He was the one who gave me the confidence I needed to pass." She took a deep breath.

"It wasn't a joke, or out of the moment, when I said I'd trust him with my life. We're both future heroes, and there's never a time I wouldn't trust his judgment," she shook her head, "And even if it all went wrong, I trust him enough to admit his mistakes to make it right again. I don't know what would've happened if I failed that test. I don't know what I might've-…" she averted her gaze.

"From everything I know, and everything I found out in the time he was here, I can tell you outright that he is the most luck you could've ever had when you signed that contract ten years ago. I know he comes off as stoic and distant, but he's just hiding a little. Once you see what's behind that shell you'll realize what beautiful, nice and lovely personality's hidden underneath," looking her mother in the eyes again, she went on, "I don't know why you're doing what you're doing, but I like him a lot, and I won't ever regret falling in love with him. Even if all you see is the same stoic and distant and fiery gaze he shares with his father – he's not the same, not at all."

Her mother cleared her voice, looking at her husband for a second, before she turned back to her daughter.

"I…I'm sorry for not telling you beforehand, when I realized you might like him…a little more than a friend."
"It's fine, mom," she said, "It was better like this. I could figure things out myself first this way."
Her father suddenly let out a quiet whistle. "I guess my judgment wasn't that far off this time, was it?" he asked smiling, "I'm glad, Momo. I'm glad we haven't ruined everything with the stupid and desperate measures we've taken a long time ago."

Momo smiled a little.

"I'm not happy about what you did, but I'm going to accept it, because you had your reasons for doing what you did – but leaving me in the dark all my life? That wasn't…nice," she said, "I don't know what I would've done if my fiancée turned out to be someone else."
"We're sorry, Momo, and I don't know how we're ever going to make it all good again, but we're going to try. There's nothing else we can do," her mother said and Momo looked up when she noticed her voice shaking.

Tears were flooding her mother's face.

"Mom!" she said, quickly getting up and moving towards her mother, who sniffed once, before she held out both arms. Momo nodded quietly and wrapped her in a warm and comforting hug.
"Will you allow us to try?" her mother whispered and Momo nodded vigorously.
"Of course I will."
"I love you, Momo," her mother said and put a shaking hand onto the back of her daughter's head, stroking the soft black hair of her ponytail.

Her father joined the hug, wrapping his arms around both woman.

"I love you as well, little one," he said and Momo could feel the tears run down her cheeks.
"I love you too, Mom," she said while looking at her mother, before she turned her head to her father, "Dad."

She would not forget what happened, never, but maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to forgive them one day.

"Shouto!" his sister screamed when he entered the house. He was just about to take off his shoes as she ran up to him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Awkwardly, he patted her back. Fabric, there's fabric between them. There's no reason to be scared. He tried his best to think of the fluffy comforter. A hug shows protection.
His sister…wanted to protect him? Biting his lip, he pulled her a little closer. It didn't work. It wasn't comforting to him.

But it also didn't scare him.

Since he now knew why she did it. Why she hugged him. There was no threat in this innocent touch – and Shouto swore he'd keep trying until he finally understood how it could send over warmth, comfort and love. He'd keep trying until it worked, no matter how long it took.
"How are you?" she asked when she pulled away a little, analyzing and observing his features, "How did it go?"
She looked so worried, and her aqua blue eyes were full of warmth.
Shouto didn't know what was wrong with him when he felt a…way too familiar sting in his eyes.
But he couldn't cry. If his father was home, he shouldn't. He wasn't allowed to. He wasn't weak.

"W-Where's…?" he started and got angry at himself for starting to stutter.
"He's not here yet. He's doing the paperwork at the agency," she said, worry only growing.

He nodded, pulling his lips into a thin line as he tried to ignore the urge to cry. He was not a crybaby. His father had taught him long ago that he shouldn't cry, so why did it suddenly start when he'd met his mother again? Everything…seemed to get him too emotional. He'd cried in front of his mother, in front of Midoriya, his mother and Iida, as well as Yaoyorozu.

And also his sister.

"Oh, Shouto," she whispered panicky, quickly wrapping her arms around him again as she looked over her shoulder before guiding him over to the living room, "W-What happened? Is it that bad?"
He sniffed, shaking hands loosely hanging by his sides. This time it wasn't a panic attack. It wasn't sadness either.
He didn't understand why he cried. He didn't understand, but the tears wouldn't stop running down his cheeks.

"Alright, you don't have to tell me," she said when he didn't answer, the lump in his throat stopping every attempt at the root. His legs gave out, but she held him close, making sure they were sitting down carefully and without hurting themselves as he burrowed his face in her neck. He didn't care about the touch. He just wanted to know what it felt like to be comforted by a hug, the failing trials only adding to his tears, his sobs and all the stifled cries in between.
"It's okay," she whispered, now surely, as if she finally remembered what it was like to comfort somebody as she hadn't seen her little brother cry in years, "I've got you."
He fisted his hands into her soft T-Shirt, desperate for something to cling to.

Why…was it all like this? Why was he so bad? So hurt? So…broken?

He knew he liked Yaoyorozu, he guessed she did as well, why the heck would she else sign that damn contract? Or stay with him? In his bed? Tell him she'd wait until he was able to love her? This…why was it like this? How the hell did he turn out this badly? Was the only thing he could do really fighting? He was raised to be a hero, raised to be strong.

But strong and powerful seemed to be completely different things.

He was powerful, yes, with a flashy Quirk and a little technique that was imposed into him from the beginning. But was he strong? Hell no. There were times when he was weak, and he finally accepted he could be. It wasn't bad, or wrong to show weakness, Momo had taught him. His sister's cold hands stroked over the back of his head, caressing the two toned silky strands of hair.
He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Even if he went to that doctor…what would he or she be able to do? Talking about it wouldn't make it go away.

It only made it worse and worse.

Why couldn't he just turn this all off? He didn't know happiness, or love or whatever came to that price. That was much too high a cost. He didn't want this. This sadness. This pain. No, he couldn't think like this. They were trying to help him. His sister was trying to help him, Momo was trying to help him. Momo. His fiancée. He had to hold on to her. But he didn't want to pull her down. But she said she'd stay with him. Why was his brain like that? Hurting himself?

"What can I do?" his sister asked, gently stroking his back.

Gentle hands. It's only gentle hands. No pain, no suffering, no loss. It's only a gentle pair of ice cold hands trying to soothe his tears.
It wasn't working. The thought that it, in fact, couldn't 'comfort' or 'protect' him only made everything worse. How the heck was he supposed to get out of this spiral his brain send him down every time he ended up alone and trying? It only worked when she was here. It didn't work with anyone else.

He just wanted it to stop. Think of her. Think of her warm hands, her warm smile. Her eyes, full of love.

The shaking stopped.

Like waves the sadness ebbed over him, slowly fading away. "I'm sorry," he said, still hiding his face. He didn't want his sister to see him like that.
"What…happened?" she asked carefully, pushing him away a little to look at his face while he kept his eyes trained on the ground. "Was she that…terrible?"
"No," he answered while shaking his head, "She's…perfect," he said, "And I'm not."
"Did she give you reason to believe you weren't?"
Again, he shook his head.

"The contract is signed. I'm going to marry in April," he whispered before looking into her eyes, "And she said I deserved the world. She said she'd stay by my side and help me. She said she'd protect me," he stutttered.

"Then why…?"

"I don't know, Fuyumi. I don't know why I'm like this, I wish I wasn't," he bit his lip, scooting away a little, settling down on the tatami mats.
"It's just…I…I think I like her a lot," he whispered, "I might even…" he didn't know how to finish that sentence, he told himself.
"Fuyumi?" he asked and she nodded at him, blinking a few times to clear her mind, "Will you help me keep a secret?"
"Which…secret?"
"I…" he started, looking away bashfully, ruffling his hair, "I want to go to a psychiatrist. I can't do this anymore."
When he was greeted with silence, his gaze moved up to look at his sister.

"There's…a lot more wrong than I could grasp…is there?" his sister asked. He nodded, biting his lower lip.
"I'll help you," she said decidedly, without any hesitation in her voice, "I'm going to keep your secret."

That evening he avoided talking to his father, eating alone in the kitchen after midnight, heating his food with his left hand. He also texted Midoriya again.
The doctor's appointment was on Tuesday. She'd deemed him an urgent case.

He finally accepted it. He needed help. Professional help, because if all he did was push his vulnerabilities, his pain and feelings on Momo, he'd make her unhappy in the end. He wouldn't exclude her, definitely not. Actually, he was pretty sure she'd be needed to better anything. But he didn't want her to be the only one responsible for his broken soul. He didn't want to be the one to turn her smile into tears.

And he swore to himself he wouldn't be. Never.

Because the ones who got hurt were the ones he loved.

Notes:

So many things happening this chapter - there's finally progress for the storyline and progress!

Shouto realizes he likes her, he loves her. Momo finally has a talk about all this with her parents, with references to previous chapters.

And Shouto finally, finally got himself a doctor...but if it's that much of a good idea to keep a secret? But well, would it be smarter to outright tell his father right now?

Engrave the fluff in your mind - from the next chapter on I'll give first hints to new...problems that may arise!

Also, there was someone leaving a guess at chap 10 I just couldn't withstand - so here we've got some Uraraka misinterpretation, thank you for that! :D
Another thing: I wanted to follow canon completely, like, with manga spoilers and everything, but since there's many of you who don't read the manga and I don't really want to spoil you, I looked if I could change it, and now I'm just going to stray from canon after the provisional license exam, I mean, it's an AU anyway :D I'll still include some characters that aren't introduced in the show and character traits, but I'll leave the actual events out :D

Thank you for reading all the way here! Have a beautiful day and feel free to tell me what you think!

Chapter 16: Touch my world with your fingertips

Summary:

Who Wants to Live Forever - Queen

A quickly melting heart admitting to it's insecurities - a freed soul clinging to the hope of being able to change a world.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Notes:

I'm so sorry the chapter is so late, but I've finally finished editing it and I really hope you like it!

Lots of end notes today, so be sure to read those :D

Welcome to: A rather unconventional date for a rather unconventional young couple!

Enjoy and tell me your thoughts and theories!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"What's your name?" the woman asked politely, a dark wooden clipboard in her hand as her purple hair fell in soft waves over her shoulder.

Shouto hesitated.

But he was here to get help. He had to be honest for this to work.

„Todoroki Shouto," he answered quietly.

„May I call you Shouto?" she asked carefully, smile turning a little brighter at his honesty.

He nodded.

„Why are you here, Shouto?"

Right.

Left.

Kick.

Defend.

Ducking underneath her metal staff, he quickly held onto her left food to let her fall over. The second the momentum of her swing reached its maximum, he pulled while she toppled over, catching herself on her forearms. Glancing back at him for a second, he saw the poutiest angry face he'd ever seen, before he went to tuck her down and she span around until she laid down on her back, using her staff to defend and quickly getting up.
He wiped away a little bit of sweat from his forehead.

"Don't hesitate," she said as they circled the other at full attention, "You don't hesitate with your Quirk either, I know you can do it." Her high ponytail kept most of her hair out of her face, yet a few little stray hands fell onto the sides of her face, sticking to it a little as they'd been training for the last hour.
Her eyes were determined.

She knew what he lacked, and he couldn't seem to find an opening.

He wasn't concentrated, even though he knew he should be. Just because it's only training didn't mean that nothing could happen if one of them misstepped. As long as they fought without Quirks, it would be okay.

The talk with the psychiatrist didn't seem to leave his mind.

He had to tell her, somehow. But…what would he say? He couldn't just ask her out of the blue, could-

In the last moment he crossed his arms in front of his head, dodging another quick swing of her staff, as he was thrown back a little. It hurt, but he was used to worse training. She was obviously holding back a little, not actually wanting to hurt him.

"Concentrate," she quickly reprimanded.

That was easier said than done.

Before he even stopped in his motion backwards, he charged at her, ducking underneath the staff again, using the second of her distraction to his advantage.

But the second he held onto her waist to push her down with him, she twisted the staff.

He couldn't even blink before he was pinned to the floor.

"Got you," she whispered breathily, hovering right above him while she held the staff to his throat, holding it with both hands.
He looked into her eyes, his hands pinned down by her knees.

Surely, with his Quirk, this would've been an easy win, but like this…

He didn't seem to understand how to get out of it, even though he was used to his father striking him down anyway.

This was different, though.

It wasn't training with his father who'd beat him until he fought back strong enough for his tastes out the simple reason to get him to become the perfect tool, the perfect weapon to become number one.

She was training with him to make him stronger in the sense that he'd be able to defend himself if it's necessary, that he'd be able to protect, even when his Quirk wasn't working like in a match against Aizawa or a villain with a similar Quirk one day.

She was training with him because he wanted her to.

Because she wanted to.

She wanted to help him.

Yet he wasn't concentrated, unsure of how to proceed with too much on his mind to get any of the things in his head into any logical relation.

She was breathing heavily, chest heaving fast as she pinned him to the ground.

He hadn't managed to bring her down even once in the hour they've been training.

Closing his eyes for a minute to catch his breath, he looked into her eyes again to see how calm they had turned, how…worried they looked.

Sighing, she moved the staff away and let it fall down next to them with a soft clank, before she sat up completely and moved down from him, freeing his hands in the process as well.

He didn't move an inch, looking at the ceiling instead.

Only when she started to speak he looked at her.

"Are you…okay? Is something wrong?" she asked, looking at the floor next to her, making it impossible for him to read her face.

So he'd been obvious again.

He was a terrible liar, definitely.

"You told me what happened in this room…" she started, shaking her head violently before wiping the sweat off her forehead, "…is it…that?"

He shook his head, feeling his hair sticking to his forehead.

"Did I do something wrong?" she whispered, "You've been so…distant again. Like you were before the sports festival."

She didn't actually think-

"No," he quickly replied, breathing a little hatched, "It's not you."

"Do you…" she bit her lower lip, "…do you want to talk about it?"

"Why are you here, Shouto?" the woman asked, putting away her clipboard with the pen, giving him full attention.

"Didn't Midoriya tell you why?" he replied in an answer to which her facial expression turned skeptical.

"She did. But I want to hear it from you."

Shouto looked away.

This…

He didn't know if he was ready to talk about this to a stranger. Mentally he sighed, he'd told it to Midoriya after a week of school after all. He had been a stranger as well. So why was it different? He had to tell that woman in front of him so he'd get an idea on how to get better. He had to get better. It couldn't go on like this, crying at simple touches or hugs or anything.
His gaze wandered through the room, the psychiatrist waiting patiently as his eyes caught on the vase of flowers standing on her desk.

He had the feeling he knew those flowers. His eyes widened when he recognized them. Weren't they the same as the ones in Momo's garden? Those…Irises?

Irises symbolize loyalty.

Momo was loyal to him. She'd promised it.
"I…I am afraid of people touching me," he said, biting his lip, still looking at the bright yellow flowers.

Out of the peripherals of his vision he saw how she took wrote something down on the clipboard lying next to her.

"Does that influence your day to day life?" she asked, smile turning a little dimmer.

He nodded.

"How do you think it came to that?" her next question came, as she crossed her hands and laid them down on her knee over her crossed legs.

"I…" he started. What was he supposed to say? Should he really just tell her his life story? How was he supposed to say it and where was he supposed to start?

"I am sworn to secrecy," she explained, "Whatever you say will not leave this room."

Nodding again, he let go of his lower lip.

"I've been treated…rather badly most of my life. My father's been hurting me and treating me like a tool for his ambitions since I turned five," he explained the short version, "My mom's tried to protect me but got hurt instead. She snapped and poured boiling water over me because I resembled my father. I…I've been bad with affection ever since but since I grew up in isolation I never knew how bad it got. I get panic attacks sometimes, and there's only two people that I don't react to that badly."

She nodded understandingly.

"Who are the two people you don't react to? And how are you connected?" she asked.

Looking at his hands, he clenched and unclenched them again to get rid of a bit of the tension on his nerves.

"My mom's number one," he explained, "Number two's my fiancée."

When he looked up again, he could see her eyes grow wide for a second before she blinked and went back to her polite smile.

"Do you have a good relationship to them?" she asked, leaning back a little on the light beige leather chair opposite his.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Would you say it's easier to let a person touch you when you're closer to them?"

"…Yes."

"Would you call it affection?"

Shouto pondered the question. Was it…affection? When his mother hugged him? When…Momo held his hand?

The answer wasn't as difficult as he thought it was.
"Yes."

"Is it possible that you aren't used to people showing you affection?"

He nodded quickly. He knew he wasn't used to it at all. Midoriya's mother had tried to show some but it only backfired.

"What would you say is the maximum of affection you'd be able to endure at the moment?"

"In general…or with the people close to me…?"

"I'd like to hear both, if you're comfortable to tell."

Shouto bit on his lip again as he tried to think of the limits he'd think himself comfortable with.

"I…I've been to a doctor," he whispered and she suddenly looked at him again, "Just yesterday."

"Oh," she said, blinking as she sat down a little more comfortable, scooting a little closer to him in the process, "What…what did he say?"

Shouto stared at the ceiling. Analyzed every tiny little crack in the concrete, how there were a few scorch marks distributed equally ruining the plain white.

"She asked many questions," he explained, wiping the sweat off his forehead, "Like who and to which extend I'm comfortable. Also the situations in which the panic attacks happened."

She nodded, biting her lower lip and looking him up and down.

"Did she…agree that it was Fear of Intimacy?"

He nodded.

"What else did she say? Did she get to a conclusion of how we could…make you better?"

"So, handshakes are okay, but hugs are rather bad if they take a long time?"

Shouto nodded.

"With your mother, hugs are okay?"

Again, he nodded.

"And with your fiancée?"

Shouto felt his cheeks getting a little warm, trying his best to cool himself down with his Quirk.

"Well, we haven't really…hugged. There was a comforter in between."
The doctor in front of him blinked confused.

"She is your fiancée, isn't she?"

"Yes, but…well, the marriage is arranged. I…I'm a little scared to try."

"Yet you said she was one of the exceptions to most of your fear."

"I'm scared of how I'll react. I know I can't scare her away because she cares, and I also care a lot about her, but what if I start crying again? I don't want to do that to her."

"You said she cares. Would she be okay with trying it?"

Shouto started biting his lip again.

"I…I don't know for sure. What if it's too straightforward?"

"Could you ask her?"

He nodded, "I could."

"You could also start the other way around," she advised, "You also said you hadn't tried touching someone else. Ask her if she'd be willing to try. We could work on your fear-hierarchy, slowly going upwards on it."

Shouto stopped all movement, swearing he could feel how his breathing stopped for a moment.

"It would go really, really slowly. Like, on your lowest spot we've got holding hands. And the higher we go," she showed him on the piece of paper she'd been writing down notes on the hierarchy, the top spot still empty, "You'd – again, slowly, don't do anything too fast or it might make it worse – try a hug. That would be the most important one's for daily life. Since she's your fiancée, you might even go farther beyond than those points. Like a kiss, or making out," she explained formally.

He wanted to disappear into the ground again. How could she…say that with a straight face? Sure, he'd be able to talk like that too – but not that topic. This was…too personal, too…intimate.

Fear of Intimacy, he reminded himself, that's why it was weird for him to talk about it.

"Why?" he asked, "Why would I want to…?"

She took down her notes again, looking at him for a short while, looking him up and down like she was analyzing him.

He felt very, very uncomfortable all of a sudden. It felt like she could-

"Yes, I can sense your thoughts and feelings in a certain way," she explained, "There's no need to be embarrassed, no need to feel uncomfortable. I'm a professional, and I'm not going to judge whatever you're feeling because there is a reason for it all."

S-She could-

…Sense feelings? And thoughts? Was that allowed?

"Yes, I've got a license for working with clients. You signed the consent form before entering my office."

Oh. He'd only skipped that.

It was his own fault again.

"Is it okay if I use my Quirk to help you?" she then asked carefully.

People were only trying to help you, he thought to himself. There was no reason to refuse. He'd already told her most of his life story and she wasn't allowed to use it against him.

He nodded and she began to formally smile again.

"Thank you, Shouto. For letting me help you," she said and he nodded again, looking away bashfully.

"You asked me why people would want to kiss each other, right?" she asked, leaning forward a little, "They do because it's supposed to feel good."

"But…how would that…?"

She smiled at him.

"You'll have to find that out yourself. If you slowly, carefully go upwards on that hierarchy, I think you will understand it better. But if you try it, be sure that she wants to as well, else it could turn into a…messy situation," she explained carefully, as a fact.

"And it will really work?"

Carefully, she nodded, "I think it's the best way to get you used to the idea of touch and affection. If you have the feeling it doesn't work, call again to make an appointment. I don't think we'll need regular meetings. For emergencies, I'll give you my emergency number. I'll be reachable at all times of the day, even during the night. You can also call me if you think you succeeded in something, but I'd be happy for that call to be during daytime."

"Thank you," he whispered.

If it worked…he'd be able to live a normal life.

Without the hurt he'd been used to because of his father's treatment.

Maybe even a life with…love.

"She did," he explained, "she mainly said to go slow. That I should try…" he looked away bashfully, "…instigating touch myself," he glanced at her and saw how her eyes widened, "with someone I'm comfortable with to get used to the feeling and live freely in day-to-day life. She also said to slowly progress with the touch and levels of…intimacy."

When she stayed quiet, he looked over to her to see her blush profusely.

"So…You could try…touching me?" she asked, fidgeting with her fingers.

Funny, he thought, she wasn't that embarrassed when he'd fallen asleep in her arms.

"Yeah," he nodded.

She scooted even closer and his eyes widened.

No, she didn't really-

Now?

Oh god.

That was fast.

He quickly sat up, using his elbows as leverage, before sitting up completely until he was in a cross legged position.

She'd sat down in front of him again, effectively sitting on her heels.

"Oh," she suddenly said, "Maybe we should shower beforehand."

Well, they did train after all.

Yet it wasn't a good idea to give him that much time to think.

"I don't care," he said.

She blushed even more.

She looked incredibly beautiful with her flushed face, dark hair sticking out to all sides of her ponytail while she fidgeted with her fingers again.

What was he supposed to do?

He couldn't just...

Or should he?

She seemed to feel his hesitation as she held out her arms.

"It's okay," she whispered, voice a little cut off as she blinked at him, still fidgeting a little.

They had never really touched. They had only held hands…and not even that really and completely.

His cheeks were turning warm as well. And it was not due to his fire Quirk.

He noticed his hands were shaking when he lifted them.

It was only his hands.
Only his hands.

Taking her wrists with shaking hands, he realized how the goosebumps were snaking over his arms as his hands loosely surrounded them. Looking at her, he took a deep breath to see her nod, her dark eyes determined.

Slowly.

Just go slow, he repeated to himself.

Gently, he let his hands glide over her incredibly soft skin. Was that because of her Quirk? He only dared to go up to her elbows, watching her reaction all along, grounding himself in the way she bit her lip and looked at him. She didn't seem to hate it.
"Is that okay?" he whispered and she nodded. He let his hands slide back again until he was back at her tiny wrists.

He looked at her.

She looked away for a second, before she turned her gaze back to his.

"Can I…try something?" she asked.

Hesitantly, he nodded.

She pried her wrists away from him, his hands loose enough to let her pull out easily. Just when he wanted to ask what she wanted to do, he saw how she took his hands and lifted them until his palms were facing her. Before she did anything else, she looked at him again, as if she made sure he didn't decide differently. Exhaling a deep breath, she lifted her hands and rested her palms on his. When she still looked questioningly, he nodded his head in approval before she slipped her significantly smaller fingers through the gaps of his. This…was a weird feeling.

It almost tickled. But it was a nice tickling, sending another wave of goosebumps over his arms.

His weird bumpy and stiff fingers automatically closed a little bit, but he didn't know if he was supposed to do that before he could feel her soft and warm hands closing around his knuckles.

"Wow," she exclaimed.

He blinked, looking at her a bit confused before he wrapped his fingers around her hands as well.

"…What?" he asked, a little breathless at the sensation.

This was…so incredible.

She didn't think her theory was going to turn out to be true.

"Your hands are different in temperature," Momo explained, "I've always wondered if they'd be. This is…so fascinating."

It wasn't much, but it certainly could be felt as his right seemed almost icy, while his left was warm, incredibly so. How would that change if he used his Quirk?

"I'd say it's weird. Mismatched, like everything else," he said.

What?

Mismatched?

He thought he was…?

"Do you…really think so badly about yourself?" she asked, her voice losing volume with every word she spoke.

"It's a fact. Even Bakugo calls me half and half-"

"No," she interrupted, "He only calls you that because of your double Quirk. Tell me, do you really think you are…mismatched? Misplaced?"
He shrugged.

She gasped, shaking her head.

Just how much…how much did he not understand about himself?

Or interpret completely false?

He was beautiful, gorgeous, in every way.

"Did you ever look into a mirror?" she asked, scooting a little closer again so their knees almost touched.

"Did you see that giant scar covering half of my face?" he snapped, "Different hair colors? Different eye colors? Different temperatures? I'm like Frankenstein."

"First of all," she argued back, "That would be Frankenstein's monster. Frankenstein was the scientist," she shook her head, "Secondly, all that is what is making you yourself. I couldn't imagine you differently."

He looked away, wanting to pull his hands away, but she held on.

"Even if I had the power to change it, I wouldn't. I'd keep you just the same. That's who you are, and it's the only way I've ever known you, Shouto. I said the truth, it's fascinating," she started to explain, shaking her head, "It's unusual, yes, but it's beautiful."

His eyes widened.

"You…" he started, "You think I'm…not ugly?"

She shook her head.

"Why would you even think that. No, I don't think you're ugly. Nor misplaced, nor mismatched," she explained, "You're just how you are, with double Quirk, heterochromatic eyes, two different hair colors. All of that is just a part of you."

He looked to his right to the floor.

It was silent for a while.

"But," he started, looking at her again, "You're so much prettier. No," he shook his head, "more gorgeous? Is that the word that's even better than prettier?"

She blushed.

He was so, so blunt.

"You can't just say that!" she whispered devastated, pulling her hands away a little so she could take his normally, without intertwined fingers.

She didn't want to let go of those hands.

"Why can you and I can't?" he replied, voice unaffected.

"It's," she fidgeted, "It's…I don't know. It's embarrassing."

"But it's the truth."

"Ugh," she said exasperated, completely not lady-like, while she squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away to somehow get the incredible warmth off her face under control.

"Do you not like it when I compliment you?" he then asked and she quickly looked at him again.

"No!" she exclaimed, "I…I guess I like it too much. It makes me feel…worthy."

"Worthy of what?"

You, she thought.

She wanted to be worthy of him, even though she knew he didn't care about the pound she gained before finals or how she probably looked totally disheveled in front of him after a long training session. He'd told her, engraved into her mind that she was worthy of being a hero. Worthy of being loved. He'd even went to a doctor to make sure he'd be able to give her that, one day.

Looking into his eyes, she thought about what she could say.

He was so, so gorgeous, how his sweaty hair sticked to his forehead, how hooded and neutral his grey and blue eyes looked, the way his scar curved right next to his ear.

Confused, she blinked as he pulled his hands away from hers.

Was it too much?

Should she have known?

Just when she was about to ask, he lifted his right hand, looking into her eyes questioningly as he moved it closer to her face. Was there another stray hair she didn't see? She nodded.

Then she found out what he did.
Gently, she only felt it as a ghost on her skin, he let his hand cup her face, making sure she was looking at him.

He exhaled a deep breath.

She felt like she was on another planet, in another time, in another reality as the only thing left were them.

It was just him, and her.

Her, and him.

With bated breath, she felt him timidly stroking her cheek.

It was probably still slightly red from training, from blushing.

"I think I know what you were thinking about," he whispered, as if he was scared of destroying the atmosphere, "I already answered that, though. You deserve the world, Momo," he added, "You are worth the world and even more."

He was about to let his hand sink and look away, as she quickly reacted and held it in place, leaning into the ghostly touch. He exhaled again.

"You're beautiful. I already thought so at Ennichi," he said, looking at the way their skin joined and she smiled, feeling her eyes get watery, "It's not like…I don't know, Mineta or Kaminari," he explained, shaking his head, "You know I've got no relation to…that stuff," she nodded carefully.

She certainly knew.

It didn't bother her, not at all. He was just learning to overcome the fear of being hugged – she wasn't even thinking of…doing stuff like that. She was sure they'd get to that, one day, when he was better. And she was ready. She even blushed at his hand on her cheek, at little compliments. They were just kids, put into a situation forcing them to think and act like grown ups in a certain way – but she wouldn't let societies expectations influence what they had – it was so much more.

Their bond was so much more, their connection so priceless…There was no need to show the trust for the other with a bodily act. No kiss to seal their devotion to the other. It was simply there, developing all alone.

"That's fine," she whispered, "We've got all time in the world."

He nodded.

"I just need to make sure that you know how highly I think of what we have. That I've got you by my side. I…" he looked at her again, "I don't want to miss this," he motioned at their joined hands, "Or anything else I might get to experience in this life I never knew I'd get the chance to have."

She started crying. Feeling the thick, watery streams flow over her cheeks, quickly wiping them away as he wanted to pull away.

"No," she explained, "they're happy tears."

He stopped resisting and let his hand rest there, using his thumb to wipe away the tears still flowing.
"Thank you," she whispered, "I'm very, very happy I'm getting the chance to teach you all of it. You deserve so much more than the world has given you."

He nodded, not opposing her compliment this time.

It wasn't enough.

"Oh," she shook her head, taking away his hand from her face, realizing how he blinked at her, "Come here," she whispered, putting a hand on the back of his head – and yes, she knew she was being risky here – pulled him towards her, letting their foreheads rest against each other.

"M-Momo?" he asked, confused.

"Is that okay?" she asked instead of answering. He nodded slightly, only recognizable because his forehead was pressed against hers softly.

She didn't know where she got the power to be so blunt.

Maybe she'd learned something from him.

His hair was soft, just like she'd imagined. So soft and silky and beautiful and she didn't want to take her hand away, so she started stroking it gently.

The motion was so…intimate. So…loving.

They must look so…weird, all tangled together. Legs touching through the fabric of his sweats as she was wearing shorts. Foreheads resting against each other, her hand in his hair, caressing his scalp while his hands were placed on her thighs as he hadn't looked where he'd placed his hands in surprise of the sudden motion.

His eyes were right in front of her, and she only knew she wouldn't change this, this opportunity, this trust he had in her, for any freedom in this world. Why would she want to spend her time dating boys when she had him, right here, in front of her, and he was her fiancée?

She was his.

And he was hers.

It was as simple as that.

Momo exhaled a breath she'd been holding unknowingly.

They stayed like this for a long, long time.

"Thank you for treating me to dinner, Todoroki," Momo said thankfully, bowing lightly while she sat on the low kotatsu, a pillow underneath her legs, which she'd angled lightly to the right, since she was wearing a bright yellow skirt.

"Please call me Fuyumi," the white haired woman replied, gently smiling while distributing the soup she'd cooked for dinner, "Is it okay for me to call you Momo?"

"Of course," she replied, a soft smile on her face, "Fuyumi."

Momo was sitting next to Shouto, his sister on their other side on her level, while the head of the low table was kept empty.

She was intrigued.

Why was everyone she met in this family…so pretty?

That wasn't fair.

"Thanks for the food," Shouto said deadpan, starting to slurp his noodles.

Where was Endeavor though?

Was he still working?

Momo decided it didn't matter. He wasn't here and that's all that counted. She really didn't want to see this man more than necessary. She definitely wasn't over the fact that he'd hurt his own children like this.

She started to eat, ignoring the pain that slowly formed in her chest as she thought about it further.

"Wow," she said, smiling brightly, "This is tasty! What is this?"

She'd never eaten it before, being used to European kitchen. Maybe…she'd get the possibility to discover more and more dishes, now that they were…engaged.

She still stumbled over the word.

"Cold Soba," Shouto replied around his noodles, not swallowing before talking. Putting her chopsticks down – yes she'd learned how to eat with those, as they lived in Japan after all, doing business deals with all kind of people – she was about to scold him, when Fuyumi interrupted her train of thought.

"That's Shouto's favorite dish," she explained, "Don't tell him I said it, but he asked me to cook it when you came over."

H-He'd asked his sister to cook his favorite dish for her?

This was so adorable.

"…I'm sitting right here."

Momo looked over to the dual haired teen to see him looking away seemingly unaffected. But the fact that he did look away told her everything. He was bashful.
"Sorry, little brother," Fuyumi replied, chuckling lightly, putting another big spoon of noodles into his little bowl, "I like her already, she's good for you."

"Good for him?" Momo asked questioningly, a soft blush on her cheeks. She tried to stay cool. Yet she knew she failed. She stared at her bowl, putting another load of noodles into her mouth, chewing them carefully. It really was tasty. It was different than everything she's had before, but it was nice. She could live with the fact of cooking it once a week.

Wait.

Was she already thinking like a housewife? Oh god, she wasn't even sixteen!

Her blush intensified.

"I've never," Fuyumi started, setting her own chopsticks down, "seen him this emotional and interested and defensive of another human. That was even before…" she nervously blinked, "…the meeting. He's never been this emotional either," she admitted, "Sometimes, it confuses me, but I like this confusion. It shows that something is changing. And I'm confident it is changing for the better."

Momo smiled, swallowing the food in her mouth before putting her chopsticks down as well, looking at the woman in front of her for a moment, before she let her gaze wander to her fiancée, who continued eating his food impassively, not looking at either of them. She could swear she saw the tiniest hint of a blush on his cheek.

"I'm…glad it ended up okay. This…is the best that could've happened," the woman explained, looking at her brother with sad eyes.

"I agree," Momo replied and Fuyumi looked at her again, "I was very sad, very mad when I found out that I didn't get a choice in who I want to marry. Because there already was someone I was interested in," she looked at the boy next to her, who stopped slurping his soba to look at her, putting down his bowl again. He swallowed. "…Interested?" he asked.

"Y-Yeah," she stuttered, covering her cheeks with her hands, "I…was always kind of interested in you," she admitted, closing her eyes to escape his wondering gaze, "You were mysterious, strong and smart and full of wits – Of course I was interested."

She opened her eyes again and put her hands away, looking him in the eyes again.

Shouto blinked, before he looked away.

He probably didn't understand.

They both startled when Fuyumi sighed happily.

"You two…I'm just happy you're becoming an addition to our family, Momo," the white haired woman explained.

They looked at each other hesitantly, a blush tinting Momo's cheeks as her fiancée stayed rather unaffected.

"Me too," he replied, picking up his chopsticks and slurping another load of soba.
Fuyumi smiled lovingly at both of them, before she did the same.

Momo observed the Todoroki siblings, suddenly realizing how real all of this was. Shouto was going to be her husband in less than a year – Fuyumi was going to become her sister in law. This…was so incredible.

But didn't Shouto say he was the fourth…try?

Where were his other siblings?

Shouto looked up to her, making eye contact as he continued to eat. She hesitantly picked her chopsticks up as well, going back to eat her bowl of soba.

Suddenly, without any context, without a warning, she had a very unsettling feeling in her stomach.
It was as if everything was going…too smoothly.

Too perfect.

It felt as if – at any moment – everything could burn to ashes.

Yet, she couldn't have known. Oh, she couldn't have known – just where the oldest brother was.

Nor what had happened to him.

She couldn't have known that the past was going to come back to haunt them.

Notes:

Actually, this chapter was super fluffy. I just hope you're not going to haunt me after the cliffhanger haha

Well, who's got a guess on who the psychiatrist may be? (Not really a canon character - but there might be some relations readable haha)
They're level of intimacy slowly, slowly progresses as their emotional connection gets stronger and stronger. And we've got a little reference to the mirror scene back in chapter 4, and those kids are super smooth.

Anyway - the fluffy times...oh, the fluffy times, keep them in the back of your mind - the ride is only getting started!
Also, I updated the tags, so please read them again to make sure if the story is your cup of tea - not much is changing from the rollercoasteriness it's got right now, but I'd be happier to know you're aware of what you're putting yourself into *nervous laughter*

Trivia - I went to psychology school for 3 years (but I'm not a professional, so tell me if I did something wrong) and I took the therapy methods of the behavioristic theory. Mostly inspired by classical conditioning since that's where things like hierarchies for fears are done and desensibilized.

Tell me what you think and definitely feel free to yell at me in the comments and on tumblr!

Have a wonderful day!

Chapter 17: Do you know who I am?

Summary:

Hologram - Crown the Empire

When everything falls apart, little gestures can be the only anchor in a world swimming away in a stormy ocean.

Yet...can they heal the emptiness after nothing's left?

Notes:

Here I am, and here is the new chapter!

We're finally getting started now - the main problem/plot is finally getting an introduction.

Get yourself comfortable, blankets and hot chocolate, as usual, and lets begin!

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

When Momo opened her eyes, she instantly knew it was a dream. The scenery was as she'd last seen it, a wide field of grass, a few trees in the far distance as yellow flowers were the first thing in her mind. She could feel the soft, soft grass underneath her still bare feet.

The silhouette, smoky and dark was standing in front of her, only an arm length apart.

His hand was held out, just like last time.

Confused, Momo looked around. Something wasn't right, but she couldn't point out what it was. Why would it be the same? That didn't make sense.

She bit her lip before she shook her head, trying to shake the thought off. Taking a step forward, she took the hand in front of her.

It hadn't even taken the blink of an eye for her to realize she knew who it was that was standing right in front of her.

He looked as beautiful, as graceful and perfectly crafted as he always did, even if he was in black and white, a stark contrast to the colors around them.

And he wasn't looking at her, but at their joined hands.

Somewhere in her subconsciousness, she must've known what came next as the hand around hers got warmer and warmer.

No, she thought, she wouldn't let go this time.

Even if it burned her, even if it all burned down, she wouldn't let go.

Quietly, she hissed in pain. The black and white boy in front of her looked up to her and into her eyes.

Tears were running down his face as his hand turned scalding hot, and even though she did everything possible…

…she couldn't hold onto it.

"Shouto," she whispered as the boy pulled his hand back. Would he say it again…what he'd said last time?

"I guess I'm-" he got interrupted by the fire breaking out around them.

Was it really the same?

Taking another step toward the silhouette, she hissed in pain, taking her foot back.

Why…? Why did it burn?

The flames were turning brighter and brighter, dancing all around them relentlessly, waiting for them to make a wrong step to be consumed by them.

The boy turned around and Momo quickly held out her hand, knowing what would happen and how she could stop it.

Turning into dust, she tried to hold onto his hand, yet…she stumbled, missing it by the width of a hair.

"No!" she yelled as the Silhouette turned around to look at her, shock visible on his tearstained face that quickly turned to ashes in a burning world. "Stay, please," she whispered. The shock turned into a smile, one of those tiny smiles like he'd given one when he'd used his fire to light the ovens the evening of the…disaster.

Her body trembled as the flames turned brighter, lighter – blue.

Did that…what…

No.

The realization washed over her like she'd been hit by a train as she witnessed the scene in front of her – Did that…that villain?

They got Bakugou.

He'd been with Shouto.

Was he…No way, right?

No…way.

Taking a step into the burning grass in front of her, not caring about her flesh melting, she tried to hold onto the figure in front of her, which was quickly turning to dust.

"No," she whispered, "No, no, no, no-…Shou-"

"Yaoyorozu," she jolted up in her hospital bed, looking around quickly to find out where she was, what happened, was that dream…Where was…?

Looking to her left, she saw a familiar pair of heterochromatic eyes – and she didn't care. She didn't care that she'd also seen a certain redhead sitting next to her fiancée or that they wanted to keep it private or whatever.

She couldn't even care about the fact that she knew she might scare him.

She just had to.

"S-Shouto," she whispered shakily, looking at him for the quarter of a second before almost attacking the dual haired boy, throwing her arms around him and sobbing into his shoulder.

She didn't care that she was half hanging off the hospital bed, or that she was still attached to the IV-needle in the back of her hand as she hugged him with all of the pain, the fear and the relief she felt when she saw he was alright.

It was okay that he didn't hug her back, turning stiff in her arms as she slowly pulled back, sniffing again before whispering a quiet 'Sorry' as he helped her back onto the bed.

"Momo? Is everything okay?" he asked, draping the comforter on top of her before he quickly wiped away her tears with his thumb.

He was okay. That's all that mattered. He was fine, and he was right here, in front of her.

Only a quiet gasp next to them pulled her back from staring into grey and blue eyes.

Both of them quickly turned to the furiously blushing Kirishima next to them.

"W-Well-" he started, clearing his voice, "You can just ignore me, I didn't know you two were…" he blinked twice, as if he was searching for words, before he started grinning brightly, "…Really, what are you?"

Momo blushed again, putting her hands on her cheeks to make it less obvious, but officially making it only more obvious.

Shouto turned towards her again, asking the silent question.

Did he…mean to ask if they should tell Kirishima?

He wouldn't tell it to anyone, she was pretty sure of that. The redhead was trustworthy, as far as she knew – and of course he wouldn't blast their…secret? It wasn't even a secret, Momo realized as she nodded gently.

"Kirishima," Shouto said, effectively stopping the red haired in his smile, as he nodded slowly, face serious.

"Telling secrets really isn't manly," the red haired replied, "I'm here to ask for your help, so that's the least I can do."

Ask…for help? That'd have to come later, Momo thought slowly.

The dream suddenly came back to her mind.

"Shouto," she said and he looked at her, to which she quickly took his left hand and pulled him towards her, taking it in between hers.

She could feel his pulse, and that's all she needed as she pulled it up to put it against her ear.

Never in her life would she have guessed that the man in front of her could both calm her down and make her afraid all the same in a few moments. She just needed to know, needed to hear he was alive. And that he was here.

She held her breath as she smiled even though her mind was still trying to rip her apart. His steady, slow heartbeat was everything she needed.

Taking a deep breath, she guided his hand back to the bed, laying it down gently while smiling at him, before she nodded. Confused, but without saying a word he turned around to look at the still blushing red haired next to them.

"Yaoyorozu and I," he started, scrubbing the back of his neck, "We're…together."

"Holy…" Kirishima started, blinking rapidly again, before his full out one thousand watt smile was back, "Congrats! Even though I'm not too sure how or when that could've happened- but well, you see, I guess it was the same for me and- Well," he stammered, "I wish you the best!"

"Thank you, Kirishima," she said smiling, looking at the dual haired boy in front of her, before she asked the redhead, "You…wanted to ask for my help?"

The boy's smile disappeared in a split second.

Momo blinked, looking back and forth between the two boys next to her hospital bed. She held onto Shouto's hand tighter.

"Yesterday," Kirishima started, "I heard that you and Awase installed a GPS on a Nomu of the league."

Oh no. She prayed this wasn't going the direction she thought.

"We've got a plan to save Bakugou-"

"No," Momo replied, shaking her head before she sternly looked at the red haired, before realizing something and turning towards her fiancée, "Why would you want to put yourself in danger like this?"

He wasn't looking at her, so she closed her eyes and let go of a breath to soothe her nerves.

He…wasn't really going to put himself in danger like this, was he?

Just when she thought he wouldn't answer, he spoke.

"I had him right in front of me," he said while she opened her eyes to look at him again, "If I'd just been quicker, just a second, I would've been able to save him."

"That's… that's not a-"

That was not a reason to put himself in danger.

The police already had the GPS location, the heroes were already on their way – there was no, no reason for them to put themselves in this situation.

They could get hurt.

No, they could die.

"You said you were scared of losing me," she whispered, holding onto his hands for dear life, "Do you… Do you think it's different for me?"

She could see him biting his lip, still not looking at her.

He…didn't think it would be the same for her.

Did he still not see it?

But how was he supposed to when he just got started with living normally? She was sure he was still insecure. Very much so, even though he was the one having made sure she wasn't insecure anymore. He hadn't really 'deleted' her self-esteem issues, but he'd given her the power to realize how ungrounded they were.

It pained her that he couldn't accept the same for himself. They had to work on that, one day, when Kirishima wasn't sitting next to them.

"Yaoyorozu," the redhead pulled their attention on himself, "I…I know that's a mean way to put it," he said, scratching the back of his neck while a slight blush tinted his cheeks as he looked at her sheepishly, "But if the person who got kidnapped was someone very, very close to you…" he looked at the boy next to him, "…would you be able to sit still?"

Momo looked at her fiancée again, biting her lips because she already knew the answer to that.

Yet, when heterochromatic eyes locked with hers, she understood.

Whatever their plan was, she'd go along.

She'd go along to make sure they wouldn't get themselves hurt.

She trusted Shouto. She trusted his judgement – so even though she knew it was a bad idea, and that she should stay away as far as possible, she couldn't leave it be.

She'd go along because she knew, if there was ever a situation like this, a situation in which she'd have to put everything, all rational thought and plans aside to save the man she loved-

She wouldn't hesitate.

"Yaoyorozu!" Shouto had yelled when he grasped onto her hand, pulling her with him quickly after Midoriya, Iida and Kirishima had left the ground, doing their best to get Bakugou.

But the villains knew their location, so they should really, really go right now.

She fastened her hold on his hand when they'd left the back alley, still running, even though she quickly caught up to him.

When he heard explosions, he turned around to see her do the same.

Was that…Bakugou flying off?

Letting go of a breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding, he pulled her with him, making sure they'd long, long left behind the half broken wall in the Kamino district before slowing down to a stop.

"Shouto," she whispered breathlessly, letting go of his hand to place them on her knees as leverage, before she smiled without it reaching her eyes, "Your plan was a success."

He understood.

This…This had been a terrible idea. The pure fear he'd felt, all of them felt, when All for One appeared and talked – just, just what was that? He didn't even have a word to describe what this felt like.

"This was…" he whispered, running a hand through his hair, "…nothing but pure luck."

If they'd been seen before Midoriya had set the plan into action…

A shiver ran down his spine, even though he wasn't aware he was still able to feel this kind of fear. Looking over to Momo, he realized there were still goosebumps on her arms. He wasn't sure if they were because of the only slightly chilly summer night air, or…because of the obvious reason.

This was terrible. They hadn't even fought him, they'd been hidden but still felt as if his voice alone could freeze their blood – it was even worse than the Stain incident, and they'd all been wrecked by that as well and would've most probably died if it weren't for the villain piercing his own lungs.

How were they how were they supposed to face villains like that every time? Would they get used to the chill, to the sudden fear for one's life?

This was…This was…

He could feel his breathing get quicker again and did his best to ignore it, to calm his heartbeat as best as he could.

This was a terrible point in time to break down.

"Shouto," the girl in front of him said while quickly retaking his hand, and he looked up to see her just as devastated, her eyes glassy as if she was just about to cry, "It's okay. It's…normal to react to something like this," she made clear and clutched his hand even tighter as she stood upright again, wiping away the tears that had almost escaped her eyes. She looked completely disheveled, her previously styled curls a big mess while there was dust caught in the berry colored dress.

He grounded himself in this image as he thought about what she'd look like as a pro hero, exhausted, but still happy after a long day, wishing him a good evening while he whispered back a 'welcome home', kissing her cheek and hugging her after having done all paperwork-

That was the only thing he had to think about to make it out of this.

He just had to imagine a future with her, he realized. He squeezed her hand in reply, calming his breathing down as she smiled sadly at him.

Only then did he realize that they were surrounded by a crowd, surrounded by people completely concentrated on the giant screens plastered all over the colorfully lighted street.

"Is that…?" she whispered and he looked up as well, gaze getting caught on the figure of a hero they all knew too well. "…All Might?" he ended her question, taking a step toward her so they wouldn't get separated in the crowd.

"But why…?" he started, his eyes widening.

This couldn't be true. What…was this, even?

There was no way – There was absolutely no way-

"Why…does he look so weak?" he whispered, feeling her gaze on him again. But he couldn't even turn towards her, as his eyes were caught on the screen.

This…This…

He just didn't have any words this evening.

And when 'United States of Smash' was done he stumbled backwards a little, only kept upright by the girl next to him who had interlaced their fingers to symbolize she was still here.

Her hands were shaking.

He couldn't hold it against her. His were too.

"You're next," All Might said, pointing at the cameraman, or every soul, every villain in this country.

Was that…Was that really All Might?

Was that possible?

If that was true…wasn't it all a lie?

Wouldn't he have been living a lie?

"A-All Might," she stuttered and he ripped his attention from the screen, looking at the girl next to him, the tears running down her reddish cheeks.

'To hug means to protect someone' resonated in his ears 'also, to be protected'.

'To feel safe.'

He didn't know why he did what he did. No, that wasn't completely true. He knew why. He just didn't know where he'd gotten the power or the courage to do it.

Quickly, he pulled his hand out of hers, effectively making her look at him, confused and with mostly closed eyes as her crying got even worse.

He knew why he did it.

Protecting her, from the prying eyes of the people around them.

Saving her, from a world without the symbol of peace.

Saving himself, from the inevitable truth that his father was now going to be, in fact, the number one hero.

And everything he had to suffer had been for nothing.

He didn't hesitate, not even a second, before he wrapped his arms around her, placing them on her back as he pulled her close, reminding himself of the fact that there was fabric between them and even if there wasn't, it was her and he wouldn't care.

She stood still for a second, the sobbing having stopped as well and he worried that he'd done something wrong, but before he could even move an inch she pulled them together even tighter, hiding her face in the crook of his neck as she clutched to the front of his cheap dress shirt.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered, "He's alive."

Why did it feel like a lie?

Why did everything feel like lies?

He could feel her nod against the side of his face, her sobs turning quieter and quieter.

Time was standing still, and there was not a single tear in his eyes as he mentally laughed about the absurdity of the situation – this was…all of this was a big bad joke of fate, wasn't it?

Unbelieving, he shook his head as he held on to her tighter.

There was something…oddly familiar, oddly…comforting in the way she held onto him, her arms snaking around him to cross around his waist while she kept her face buried in his neck.

All of the suffering…

He held onto her even more firmly, the grasp almost painful as his knuckles turned white while he soothingly traced circles on her back, like his mother had always done for him.

All of the suffering…

He buried his face in her shoulder, a shaking rumbling through his body that he hadn't even felt when he'd last had a panic attack.

The training, the hurt, the pain and isolation, the way he hadn't seen his mother in forever.

The way he'd been broken and bent, hurt and caged all his life.

All of the suffering had been for nothing at all.

He had been a child, stumbling in his father's footsteps to chase an unreachable goal said man had always laid out for him. There was no way to do it differently, no way to change fate as the goal, the thing his father had always wanted, was laid into his hands.

He'd been made into a tool, he was a fallen soldier in a war his father won without his sacrifice.

How can you find a way out of the snowfield, when there is nothing else to find?

He was nothing – and there was nothing he could do.

He'd hugged her.

He. Had. Hugged. Her.

At first, Momo had been shocked, but that was obvious – Who wouldn't be in that situation?

He was afraid of touch, but he hugged her, comforted her when she was crying about All Might's hard battle, making them aware of just how sick and…weak he was, even though he was a hero. How sick and hurt and still fighting to keep this society afloat as the symbol of peace had made the crime rates drop immensely.

And now he was gone.

Was he officially going to retire?

It'd make sense after this fight – but what would this society do without their symbol of peace?

It had been so emotional as the crowd erupted in cheers that she couldn't do anything to hold back her tears.

She cried at the last warning he'd spoken to all villains out there. Cried at the reminder that she knew another hero who was acting strong while there was another side to him that she had to slowly discover as it was kept hidden from the world.

She cried at the similarity of a hurt soul fighting with all his might, with all his strength even though the situation alone let it seem completely impossible.

And her cries only turned louder as Shouto'd pulled his hand out of hers, feeling left alone but she could still understand why he'd want the distance.

No, she realized, she had no idea what he was thinking or feeling at the truth behind the one person his father had always tried to surpass, hurting him in the process.

That's why she was even more surprised when he'd wrapped his arms around her.

There was only one question in her mind that let her hesitate.

Was he comforting her…or himself?

If he was comforting her, he'd observed well but she'd still be rather unhappy at his ignorance of his own condition, but if it was for himself – What…what did that mean?

Only when she realized how his shoulders shook she pulled him towards her, realizing that maybe even he, who only had one tiny, half-hug as reference tried to pull everything she'd told him about out of a real hug. When she put her head on his shoulder she could hear his heartbeat, how fast it was as he shook, the gesture letting her calm down as she realized there were more pressing matters than the loss of the symbol of peace at this moment in time.

He was hurt, and she knew it. Even if he wouldn't say it – it was like before, as all of the voices in her head told her there was something very, very wrong and she was scared he'd keep it to himself, how he'd always done before they'd been put into this situation making them fiancées.

If…If he would have ever talked to anyone about it if it wasn't for that strange fate, that strange connection they had formed?

She was scared he would try to distance himself again as he became who he was before.

But he couldn't be the one he was before as he had his arms wrapped around her.

Realizing that no matter what, she had to pry it out of him before it took him apart. She could only guess how much he felt, or if he was confused or angry or hurt or scared – and she had to make sure he talked to her about it.

But first…

She wrapped her arms around his waist, realizing how easy it was to feel his strong muscles even though he wasn't as bulky as his father. She had to admit how much she liked staying like this, wrapped in each others arms, protecting each other from whatever the world had in store for them.

"Shouto," she whispered, only loud enough for him to hear as she tried to pull away a little.

He didn't let her, quickly pulling her towards him and burying his face in her shoulder.

She felt as if her heart stopped.

So he did it to comfort himself.

Slowly, she put her hand in his disheveled hair, caressing his scalp as she could feel his grip on her back turn almost painfully strong. He had whispered words of comfort, letting her calm down, even though he clearly wasn't okay.

"Shouto," she tried again, keeping up her rhythmic motions on the back of his head as she could feel him nod lightly, not making any sound and she couldn't interpret his feelings as she couldn't see his face at all, "Talk to me," she whispered, her voice on the edge of breaking, "Please talk to me."

Silence greeted her.

They were teenagers, in the middle of a crowd, moving quickly around them, not even sparing them a second glance as they all went their way. To help centers, to police stations or just home after a long and terrible day that might change their society as a whole.

No one seemed to notice them, even though they were obvious, sticking out in the crowd, all huddled together in the middle of the way.

She was glad they weren't recognized as she had a different issue at the moment.

"It was all for nothing," he whispered and she had to concentrate to understand him as he was mumbling into her shoulder, "He's number one now."

She loosened her hold on his waist while her right hand moved around so she could gently push him back a little. He was more compliant this time, taking a little step back and looking at a faraway place to his right.

His gaze looked…empty.

"Shou-" she started as they could hear a phone vibrating loudly before Shouto took it out of his back pocket.

"Yeah," he answered, still looking a little out of it, but he blinked a few times to come back to the here and now, "We'll be there," he said, adding a little 'Thanks, Midoriya' before hanging up.

"He asked to meet up at the train station at 8am," he said deadpan, turning around to walk into the direction the station was in as Momo recognized that scene from her dream, "Funny, it's going to be bright outside by then."

No, she recognized that feeling from her dream.

What…?

Was that…?

"Hold on," she said loudly, holding onto his hand while he looked back up at her, blinking a few times, obviously confused, "If there's…If there's anything you need to talk about, please know you've got me. You know I'll be here. Whenever you need me."

He bit his lip.

He held onto her hand as well, interlacing their fingers.

"Thank you, Momo," he answered, "I'll…" he looked away again, "I don't know. I'm just…shocked."

She knew he'd lied. It was blatantly obvious.

But…what was she supposed to do?

She thought she'd gotten him to open up to her…but why…why was he distancing himself suddenly?

Squeezing his hand, she nodded.

"Just…" she shook her head, "Please remember you're not alone. We're in this together."

There were teenagers, standing in a crowd of people after one of the worst days of their life as everything moved too quickly. They were standing still in time while the world around them continued to spin relentlessly.

He nodded.

Even if this world was going to spin on and on, leaving them behind, she swore she'd hold his hand.

Just like she was now.

"We should probably change before meeting up with everyone, though," she remarked, looking down at her still dirty dress and he nodded blinking, as if he'd forgotten about that.

"T-They really closed the shops?" Momo stuttered as she looked at the stores in the street they'd hidden their clothes in behind a dumpster. How were they supposed to get changed if there was no place to do so? Oh, she couldn't go home like this, her mother would get a hard attack. It's not like Momo cared too much, as her hero costume was very, very revealing, but this was completely different and there could be someone turning around the corner any second!

But what were they supposed to do? The clothes of Kirishima and the others were already gone, and she wondered where they'd went to change but couldn't come up with a conclusion as everything around here was dark, the people guided out of the danger zone, most of them probably home by now.

Staring at the darkest corner of the back alley, she looked around, relieved that there weren't any windows facing their location. Maybe, if she'd go into the furthest corner in the back, she could…

Oh, god, no, she couldn't do that. No way. Even if she was alone – W-Which didn't really make a difference because the only person with her at the moment was her fiancée anyway, yet they weren't on a base like that yet and she really didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

Biting her lip, she turned around to ask Shouto for an idea as she saw how he was pulling his dress shirt over his head, not bothering to open all of the buttons. "S-Shouto!" she whispered, quickly turning around.

"What?" he asked, and she could see him pick up his white shirt out of the corner of her eye as she swallowed.

She…couldn't say she hated the glimpse she'd gotten and she'd known before that he was definitely not a weak build, still she couldn't stop the blush forming on her cheeks.

"You can't just do that," she said, eyes still widened and voice maybe a little too high.

"…It's only you here," he supplied, "You won't attack me just because I'm taking off my shirt."

Well, she might.

What?

She blushed, quickly slapping her cheeks.

Where did that thought come from?

"Y-Yeah," she replied, as an idea came to her mind. He was right. There were only them, at least at the moment, and she really hoped that it'd stay like this, "Hold, on," she said, turning around to him to see him blinking rapidly, his hands already at the hem of his slacks as she mimicked his facial expression, closing her eyes quickly. "I'll make a blanket," she said, quickly producing a big enough blanket to cover their height, even though she was already exhausted.

"If I hold it like this," she quickly spread the blanket with her outstretched arms, "No one around us can see."

They were standing in the back of an alley in the dark, in the middle of the night, changing clothes behind a dumpster in hopes that no one would stick their nose into their business.

"You're smart, Momo," he smirked and she blushed again, quickly closing her eyes when she saw him move to undress. Listening to the rustling, she tried to concentrate on something else so her imagination wouldn't run wild.

Just what…would All Might's retirement mean for them? Would the crime rates rise again? She certainly hoped they wouldn't, yet it didn't seem too far off.

"Finished," he said and she opened her eyes as he was standing in front of her, taking the blanket out of her hands, mimicking for her to get started. She nodded, smiling slightly, even though she wasn't sure the smile reached her eyes. He closed his eyes and her smile got earnest. She wouldn't have cared too much if he'd seen anything, her clothes were ripping very very often in class, but her heart warmed at the gesture nonetheless. Yes, she realized it again, he was a good one.

Taking her change of clothes, she loosed the tie on the top of her dress's back so she could pull it over her head.

What had he meant when he said everything had been for nothing? And that he's number one now? Was he talking about…? She halted in her movements, suddenly realizing it.

"Shouto?" she asked and he answered with a quiet 'hm?' while she observed him, letting her dress fall to the floor as she took her blouse and pulled it over her head, "Are you…" she took a deep breath, "…Are you worried about what it means that Endeavor became number one like this?"

Over the dead quiet of the alley, she could hear his breath hitch.

So that was it.

Picking up her shorts, she put them on and quickly closed her belt, looking at him to concentrate on his expressions while he still had his eyes closed.

"I…" she started, "I can't possibly know what you're thinking or feeling, but…it's a mess, isn't it?"

Everything about their situation had always been a mess, and it didn't seem to clear up anytime soon.

"Yeah," he replied, "A mess…sounds about right."

She started biting her lip again as she opened her hair to tie it in its usual ponytail.

Once she was finished, she sighed.

She wanted to know what he was thinking so she could help, yet she didn't want to pry it out of him, scared of him shutting her out completely. He'd told her everything, everything that had led up to this point in his life when they'd been alone. She saw glimpses of his insecurities, and he'd known all about hers beforehand. They were a mess, they totally were.

There was one thing she could do, though. She guessed it was going to be alright as he'd instigated it before, yet she took a deep breath to calm her racing heartbeat while she took a step towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist, to which he quickly opened his eyes, blinking a few times.

"I don't know what's going on in that head of yours," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder, "But I know you well enough to see that you could certainly use a hug right now."

He let his arms sink down, letting go of the blanket to wrap his arms around her as well.

"I…" he whispered, "I didn't even know I needed a hug."

She smiled.

"Can you hear my heartbeat?" she asked carefully, listening to his rapidly beating heart.

Feeling him nod next to her, she flattened her hands on his back.

"Just concentrate on that," she instructed, "Just concentrate on one beat after the other. Know that there's another heart beating next to yours, and when you have the feeling you're all alone, you can always, always," she pronounced clearly, "count on mine to be there, even when you're wallowing in self-doubt - which I know well, oh, way too well - know that I'll be here."

"Momo…" he whispered breathily, "I…I'm just trying to be strong but it feels like nothing's working."

She tightened her hold on him, knowing the dam had been broken, "Even when everyone fails you," she said, "even when you feel like you're crashing to the ground, I'll be here to catch you if you let me."

His breathing hitched.

"Isn't that just…weakness?" he supplied dryly.

"No," she quickly interrupted his thoughts, "You are not weak. I know that, everyone knows that. And just because you're hurt, or feel like you can't carry the burden of the world, doesn't mean you're not strong."

She pulled back to look at his face, firmly placing her hands on his shoulders while the blanket fell to the ground.

"You survived," she whispered, "You lived through all of that. You managed to pull through all of the terrible things that happened to you, and you're here now, even accepting help from a professional."

He nodded, not looking at her.

She couldn't stand that he was avoiding her gaze. Putting a hand on his right cheek, the ice side turned away from her, she gently guided his face towards her again, his eyes locking with hers.

"No one," she made clear, "No one is bulletproof. We're human, and we're not invincible. Even if you need to be weak for a minute, for an hour or for a month, it doesn't matter. I'm confident you're the strongest, and the most loveworthy person I'll ever get to know, and I don't-," she almost sweared, blinking at her totally unusual choice of words, but she was in rage, "I don't care if your father is going to try to make you feel like nothing but a tool, now worthless as he's become number one, I don't care if anyone else says you're cold, or distant, or anything, because I know you're not."

The look in his eyes was shock, nothing but pure shock as he started to blink quickly.

"I…" he started, shaking his head, "I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. Or think. Or say."

"It's okay. That's okay. You don't have to say anything," she nodded, pulling her lips to a tight line, "You just have to remember it. Remember my words and repeat them whenever you need them. Or come to me to get yourself another warm hug, okay?"

He nodded.

"Thank you-"

"There's no reason to thank me," she laughed, "I'm only stating the truth."

Again, he nodded, looking away again.

She huffed out a breath of air, thinking she might have just talked to a wall, as he stretched out his arms again and she realized that he was looking away bashfully.

Smiling wholeheartedly, blinking to keep the stinging in her eyes at bay, she wrapped him in another warm, beautiful hug as he placed his hands on her back, letting go of a long breath.

Here they stood, in the dark alley of a party district, after one of the scariest, most emotional days of their lives, just wrapped in each others arms and listening to the quiet breathing of the other.

They didn't need anything else.

This was more than enough.

He's never been a sunshine kid, he knew that.

Small, incredibly so, for his age. Weak and cast aside, leaving him all alone as not even his mother bared to look at him.

He was fourteen when it a turned to dust.

Being the oldest had always been a pressure. Protecting his younger siblings, the one's raised with him on the other side of the residence. It had never mattered what they did. Their father never cared. Their mother wasn't there. He'd been responsible, mostly.

Until his father had the glorious, the fantastic idea, to teach him anyway.

He was weak, without the strong constitution of someone with a fire Quirk. He came after his mother after all, even though he looked like his father.

The flames were blue, the flames were hot.

And they cremated everything that would've made him recognizable as himself.

His face, his shoulders, his hands – he'd died in the eyes of the only people he had.

This name, this past, it all had been left behind to make place for his goal, his belief to make this world one with real heroes. A world without imposters, without liars with a double standard.

If there was one man that certainly had to disappear from what the world had called a hero – it was him, the flame 'hero'.

Only that night, that incredible night, in which he lightened the sky with violent icy blue flames, hot enough to leave nothing behind but ashes and dust, he remembered.

He remembered that one kid on the other side of the house – the one he hadn't seen in years, the masterpiece, the one born with everything. It wasn't hard to recognize those double colored eyes, this double colored hair, symbolizing the perfect balance of Quirks.

"That's sad, Todoroki Shouto," he'd whispered when he'd snatched the boy's friend.

He'd gotten big.

The masterpiece.

It'd be too bad if Endeavor lost the one thing he'd burned everything for, wouldn't it be?

The boy hadn't recognized him. But how was he supposed to? He'd changed after all, in every way.

He wasn't weak anymore.

And he wasn't like his mother, breakable.

The one who'd break was Endeavor.

And if that's what had to be done…

Well, too bad, wasn't it?

Notes:

Feel free to yell at me in the comments or on tumblr. (I'm faster at replying on tumblr though haha)

You all guessed the fluff wouldn't last for long, you know me too well by now. ('m sorry)

Those kids are hanging on for dear life, and Kirishima now knows (even though not everything)
Shouto's a kid full of problems, and we knew that from chapter one. And it's only coming into view now.

Who could the person monologuing in the end have been? *crying silently*

Just...how will they deal with this? Especially...as Momo doesn't know it all.

This world is a storm, always remember that.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this! The dream in this chapter, as well as the one in the last are so interpretable you might be able to figure out many, many of the plotpoints and conclusions and everything. Also, who's getting the actual pairing with Kiri? It's probably obvious now haha.

Yep, we've got new antagonists now. Please, please theorize.

Thank you for reading this far and have a wonderful day! :D

Chapter 18: I won't give up on me, if you don't too

Summary:

Spell it Out - You Me at Six

If you ever think you're out of the storm, it comes back to hit you right when you're least expecting it.

Love might be the only thing able to withstand this world after all.

Notes:

Hey, guys, see who's suddenly posting a chapter shortly before Christmas? Here I am!

I loved your wonderful guesses and interpretation of the last chapter. Even though no one (except Akira_0, shoutout to you!) even tried interpreting the dreams and putting it all together I'm very happy about your Dabi interpretations haha. Yep, I just confirmed it, it's him.
I'm going to answer the last comments tomorrow morning, I'm sorry for taking so long ~

There's also one thing I wanted to say about the wonderful hug scene by the end of the chapter...think about it again after this one!

Anyway, enough of me for now - Here we go! I hope you enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

When Shouto entered his home that morning, he quickly realized that there was something wrong.

The clattering and shattering could he heard all the way to the front door.

„He's been like this since he came back," Fuyumi said nervously, "After All Might…I- I don't know what he's thinking about."

His sister was shaking her head before looking down the hallway.

Shouto nodded, taking off his shoes before walking the well-known way to the training room on the other side of the house.

His father was very angry if Shouto could trust his ears.

Just what was Endeavor thinking?

Was he sad? Devastated?

Or just mad that the man he was trying to surpass all his life without taking a second look at the ashes he left in his wake had to step down?

Shaking his head, he slid the door open a little bit so he could look inside.

It was a disastrous mess, Shouto realized. Not that he was surprised. Endeavor never left anything else behind. The training utensils were lying around scattered and broken on the floor, scorch marks visible from the outburst.

He knew those scorch marks, remembering a certain night a long time ago, the pain in his back still freshly in his mind. His father was angry.

"How…" the man said to no one in particular as he was sitting on the floor, face buried in his hands, "How could it end up like this?"

Shouto's grip on the doorframe tightened.

This tone of voice…He'd never heard it before. But if he was to guess from the people he got to know over the last few months…Was this…regret?

That wasn't possible. Why the heck would Endeavor regret anything?

And even if he did.

This wouldn't make it an ounce better. He'd still driven his mother to her breaking point, he'd still made his son into nothing but a broken tool, scared of touch and only slowly, slowly understanding what was wrong with him. One brother driven away, another dead – this was the life he'd led. This was what he'd caused himself.

He'd made it impossible for his son to love anything or anyone without fearing that he'd hurt them sooner or later so they'd leave him all alone.

"This…This is not how it should be. What is this?" the red haired man said, stroking his hair back angrily.

This wasn't how it should be? How was it supposed to be?

Shouto turned around the corner, leaning against the wooden wall next to the door as he could feel his knees give out.

This man had killed his oldest brother, even if it was an accident. Shouto couldn't even remember his face if it wasn't on an old photograph. This man had broken their mother, making her suffer the pain of not being able to protect her youngest child, driving her to the point where she went insane, hurting her not even six year old. This man had destroyed the family Shouto never got to know – his older brothers only a faint memory, leaving their sister as the only person left to somehow look after him, even though she wasn't able to protect him either, the nervousness always visible in her motions.

This man had broken his youngest child to the point he hated himself. Blamed himself for everything that had happened to his family after his birth.

Slowly sliding down the wall, Shouto put a hand on his mouth to stifle the choked breath that tried to escape him.

He'd been nothing but a tool all along. Nothing but a measure for his father to become the number one hero, trained and hurt and broken until he was the perfect fighter.

And if he couldn't go on anymore, he'd get pushed as far as possible before he passed out.

Now seated on the floor, he let his head fall against the wooden wall with a slight 'bump'.

He had become the perfect tool, and now that his duty, his reason for existing wasn't there anymore…

What was left of him?

What were you to do with a tool that lost its purpose?

What was he supposed to do now? Why did he exist? Why did he even try?

Why were his thoughts spiraling again?

Momo had taught him that wasn't true.

He wasn't alone. She was there. But he couldn't remember the heartbeat he was supposed to recall in a situation like this.

He just felt like he was all alone.

But people weren't invincible, she said. It was okay to feel confused, disappointed or sad, she said.

She swore that she'd be there – and he knew she wasn't lying to him, yet everything hurt so bad and his mind couldn't separate right from wrong, truth from lie – everything seemed the same.

Everything had been a lie from the start. The reason he became like this, the reason he was this wreck had suddenly turned to dust overnight.

He wasn't nothing, she had said.

Slowly and with shaking hands, he pushed himself up from the floor, using the wall as leverage to get up, looking down the hall, not seeing anyone. Where would Fuyumi be right now?

He wasn't nothing, not to her, she had promised.

"Fuyumi?" he whispered, realizing that his voice was hoarse again as he knocked on her door.

Even if his father made him feel like he was nothing, he wasn't, she had told him while they'd been wrapped in each others arms.

"Shouto?" she asked confused, sliding the door open to quickly usher her little brother inside. He tried to distract himself, taking in the interior of his sister's room as he hadn't been in here since he was very, very little and he couldn't remember her desk being this small or how her room in general was a lot tinier than his – not that he wanted the big room.

He wanted to feel happy, that's it. Why was it so difficult?

"…Shouto?" she asked again, quieter this time as she pushed back her glasses.

"Can you hug me?" he whispered, stretching out his arms as he looked to the floor.

He wanted comfort. Momo had given him comfort when he'd hugged her, and he'd forgotten all about his problems and insecurities, driving him speechless effectively. He just wanted this again. He didn't care about the touch. His sister wasn't going to hurt him. A hug wasn't going to hurt him. He just wanted to feel safe, for once. He just wanted to feel loved, somehow.

He wasn't nothing, he repeated.

"Oh, Shouto," she answered quickly, taking a step towards him, "Of course. Come here."

He crossed the last distance and hugged his sister with all of the pent up frustration and sadness and loneliness he felt at the realization that the reason he was made had disappeared, leaving nothing but emptiness behind.

But it was okay, he realized. It was okay, as he laid his head on her shoulder, searching for her pulse, which he found quickly. Her heartbeat was frantic and fast as she wrapped her arms around him.

This was so different from hugging Momo. It wasn't as calming, it wasn't as freeing, but…it was nice. It helped, a little, somehow.

He tightened his arms around her waist as he buried his face in her shoulder.

And slowly, slowly, he calmed down as he realized that he was not alone. His sister was here, and she was holding him, even though he'd never asked her for a hug before. Even if Momo wasn't in immediate reach, he wasn't alone. There was another heartbeat next to his.

He realized what he'd missed all his life. If he hadn't gotten into that terrible situation, forcing him to marry a girl he thought he didn't know, he would've never met Momo in front of school that summer day, he would've never found out what friends were, and he would've never even tried finding out what lovers were. Yes, he knew he loved Momo, and he would've never tried curing his fear of intimacy if it wasn't for her.

He didn't care if his reasons were weird, but he didn't know if he really would've died the way he'd been until the sports festival once he'd become grey and old without ever having gotten the chance to find out what it was like to live-

Fate was a funny thing, he thought.

"Fuyumi?" he asked quietly, hearing her hum a little 'yeah' as she started gently stroking his back.

"Can you make soba tonight?"

He could hear her chuckle quietly.

"Of course, Shouto."

And even though none of his problems were solved, he was comforted, somehow.

He couldn't see that he'd made progress, his mind occupied by thoughts he wished he could just forget about as he knew they weren't good for him or logical at all. He knew he was getting worse again, and he wished he knew how to stop it. The only thing he repeated again and again, pulling him out of the maze, out of the snowfield were the words the woman he loved spoke -

He wasn't nothing, he repeated.

He was someone.

To Momo, to his sister, to his mother…He was someone.

"I'm okay," he whispered, voice broken and hoarse.

He wasn't, but this was enough.

It had to be.

It had only been a coincidence that Iida had seen them holding hands, yet the thought didn't leave his head, confusing him about the situation. Usually, he was a person aware of the personal boundaries and privacy of others. Yet he didn't like not knowing this time. The well being of two of his classmates was at cost.

He'd had found out that his younger classmate was engaged, and that he'd possibly meet his fiancée soon, so why he turned up on their meeting spot at the train station holding hands with Yaoyorozu was the big question.

Of course he hadn't asked him right away, not wanting to interrupt the feeble atmosphere and the soft smile those two exchanged before letting go.

And then his chance was lost.

It's not like he'd forgotten about it – it's just that so much came in between the opportunities to ask his younger classmate.

They had moved into dorms, the provisional license exam had happened and afterwards the dual haired boy had been occupied with the extra course to get his license as well. Iida had heard about the reason for the failing from Midoriya – it had been a misunderstanding, a consequence of his own behavior with a boy from another school, and Iida was sure there was more to it, yet the questions never had time to be asked.

It was during December that he was reminded of the questions he'd been wanting to ask for a long, long time.

Most of the class was gathered in front of the TV in the common room, covered in blankets and with Satou's freshly made food on the small coffee table.

"I wish I had the guts to ask her out," Midoriya sighed quietly, looking at the brown haired girl on the side of the coffee table. Everyone was invested in their own conversations, so it was clear the girls wouldn't be able to hear what they were saying here.

"Midoriya, you should concentrate on your internship," the dark blue haired answered quietly while he looked at the green haired teen.

"I'm sure she'd say yes," Todoroki replied deadpan.

"R-Really? Why do you think so?" Midoriya replied, a blush tinting his cheeks even redder than before.

"Yaoyorozu said she's obviously crushing on you," the dual haired teen replied.

While Midoriya started mumbling again, wildly gesturing with his hands, Iida remembered what he'd wanted to ask – quietly scolding himself for his forgetfulness when it was about something so important.

"Todoroki?" he asked and a pair of heterochromatic eyes set on him, effectively distracted from the mess of a teenager trying to negate all arguments made for his 'asking Uraraka out'.

"Yes?" the younger boy asked, face as neutral as most of the time.

"You and Yaoyorozu," Iida started whispering, looking around to check if their talk would go unheard. The girls were loudly laughing, while Bakugou and a few others had gotten up to play a game at the dinner table – loudly.

"Are you two in a relationship?" he asked quietly nonetheless, expecting to be greeted by nervousness or a reaction of any kind, yet the dual haired boy only nodded.

Iida pushed back his glasses.

"What about…" he fumbled with his hands, "the girl?"

It was clear he was talking about the girl he was engaged to.

A slight smirk grazed the lips of the boy in front of him while Midoriya seemed to come back to their discussion as he was solemnly smiling.

Iida felt as if he'd forgotten about a very important clue.

The heterochromatic gaze left him as Todoroki looked at the girl on the other side of the coffee table.

Iida understood, stopping in his motions.

Was this… possible?

"Really?" he asked unbelieving.

"Yeah," Todoroki replied, a tiny smile gracing his lips, "I'm gonna marry that woman."

The class representative was speechless, looking back and forth between the black haired girl and the boy with heterochromatic eyes.

This secret he was keeping was only getting bigger and bigger.

At least he could be relieved that his classmate wasn't actually cheating on his fiancée (not that he'd ever thought that was what happened…but what else could it have been). Knowing that neither of their grades had suffered through their relationship there was nothing he could say against it.

He could only notice that both smiled more that they'd done before finals.

And that was a fact.

"You're not going to reprimand him?" Midoriya asked incredulously.

"No, I won't," Iida replied, smiling while nodding, "As long as they don't slack off from their training as future heroes."

"But I wouldn't do that either!" the green haired argued back, blush returning on his cheeks.

"You wouldn't do what?" Uraraka asked, and when Iida looked up he could see five girls (Hagakure excluded since he could indeed not see her) staring at them. Not that he actively searched for proof, yet he had to note that Yaoyorozu directly looked at Todoroki, smiling when he nodded slightly.

Was this…young love? And would it be able to withstand all of the troubles this world had in store for them? He had to wonder about how they were going about his fear of intimacy, or the mental and physical abuse the son of a hero had to go through, yet he trusted them to get through it.

They were going to be heroes soon, and there was no way they wouldn't be able to save each other and themselves at the same time.

Nodding with a smile gracing his lips, he pushed his glasses back.

There was nothing to do for him at the moment.

They had his support.

"Yaomomo?" Uraraka asked Momo a few minutes later, after they'd witnessed Midoriya blushing so hard they wondered if his head was about to explode.

He didn't tell them what they had been arguing about, yet Momo was pretty sure she knew what it was about as the dual haired boy smirked at her, mimicking to the brown haired girl next to her – officially telling her that it was about Uraraka. She had nodded in reply, concentrating on the discussion with Jirou she'd started before.

"Yes, Uraraka?" Momo replied smiling from her place on the couch, now sitting nearer to the boys as they'd went over to the middle couch instead of the one opposite them. Shouto was sitting on the far right as she was seated on the far left of her couch, making them sit closest to each other in an angle.

She withstood the urge to hold onto his hand.

That had become a norm for them, something they weren't even really able to control anymore. She loved holding onto his hands and analyzing how they changed in temperature. Especially when it's about emotions – she had found out his hand got warmer when he was angry at Bakugou for example. And she knew he froze himself when he was scared or in panic, so that was something she'd already noticed. It was a simple way in which she was able to find out what he was feeling, even when he wasn't ready to talk about it.

And there was a lot he wasn't telling her, she knew that. Something had changed when All Might retired – and even though he acted like it'd be alright, she knew he was troubled. Or…disappointed? She wasn't sure what to title the emotion she'd newly discovered on him.

"Does this necklace have a meaning?" the brown haired girl asked, smiling at her brightly, a natural blush on her cheeks.

W-Wait, Momo thought. Which…necklace?

Quickly, she searched her chest for a necklace of any kind, discovering something she must've forgotten to take off.

Looking down, she saw how a beautiful silver snowflake danced in her palm, the light reflecting in all kind of directions as she realized that there was no way not to notice it.

This…wasn't something anyone was supposed to know.

They'd been disappointed in him for not giving her a little gift for her birthday.

They couldn't have known that he'd give her one once they'd been alone that night inside her room.

The necklace meant so much, and even though he hadn't said anything as he'd given her the tiny little package, which she'd unravelled in the blink of an eye, he'd looked away bashfully.

A snowflake.

He had gifted her the icy shell in which he'd hidden for years.

No one except them would ever understand this.

"Right!" Ashido said, "I wondered that as well. I mean…snowflake?" the pink haired girls gaze wandered to the boy next to Momo, "Could it have anything to do with-"

"No!" Momo quickly replied. Too quickly, she noted. She'd have to work on her composure. Jirou, seated next to Uraraka on the other side of the Couch, started chuckling violently, quickly joined by Hagakure and Uraraka, while Ashido looked at her with an all-knowing grin. Only Asui looked as normal as ever, even if she did look a little more…enthusiastic?

Momo blushed, putting her hands on her cheek and shaking her head, trying her best not to look at the boy next to her.

"What's so funny?" Kaminari asked, carrying drinks in a very clumsy manner, followed by Kirishima and Bakugou, with Sero already seated in front of the TV, placing down pillows as there wasn't enough space on the couches for everyone.

"Nothing," Jirou replied, and Momo could swear she saw a tiny blush on her cheeks as well.

Bakugou was shaking his head with a scowl, placing himself next to Kirishima, leaning on the sideways couch to the TV.

"Be fucking quiet when it starts, right?" he said loudly, definitely meant for everyone's ears.

They'd gathered in front of the TV for a reason, she remembered.

Looking to her left, she saw how Shouto's gaze was just focused on the TV, not even caring about their classmates antics.

Swallowing, she had another idea. A risky idea, but one that might be necessary with what they were about to watch.

The new top ten heroes of Japan were revealed today.

It's not like anyone doubted who the new number one was going to be, yet…she wanted to be near Shouto when it was made official.

She knew it hurt him a lot, and she didn't care that anyone would be able to find out, she just wanted to be close to him.

Closer.

Nothing had really changed since they'd moved into the dorms, they just saw each other a lot more and they had taken up a training plan together, approved by All Might himself so they'd be able to protect themselves.

It had only given her the opportunity to get Shouto used to casual touch, as she grabbed his hand whenever no one was looking, patting his shoulder's when he'd written a really good test and given him hugs after he'd failed the provisional license exam. Once he got used to the touch, normalized and understood the meaning of it, he started to crave and search for it himself, and she was incredibly proud of that.

Yet, because of the extra course he and Bakugou had to take, they didn't see each other very much, at least not in private, without their classmates all around them, and she wasn't happy about that. She just wanted to hold his hand and know that he's okay and kiss him-

What.

No, she didn't want to kiss him-

No, that's not it either.

She wanted to kiss him, sometimes. Often, very often. Looking at him, analyzing his profile, her gaze followed the curve of his nose, the soft and small lips looking way to kissable for it to be legal. Momo didn't even blush when she thought about it, having done so many, many times before – and as her seat was right next to his, she had way too many opportunities to look at him.

This man was gorgeous, and this man was hers, yet she didn't dare to make the first step.

Others saw a relationship as something completely different from them – dating? From the first date on out. Together? After the first kiss. In love? She didn't even want to think of it, already embarrassed at the thought.

They did it all differently. They were so clearly together, their relationship so intimate and understanding even though they'd only met a few months ago as future husband and wife, and neither of their classmates would ever understand that. The smallest gestures meant the world to them, that much was clear.

Shaking her head, she tried to follow her original flow of thought. Right, her plan.

There was still space on the couch Shouto, Midoriya and Iida were sitting on.

Getting up, she grabbed blankets, distributing them to her newly arrived classmates. Kirishima thanked her while Bakugou looked at her with…a little less of a scowl than usual. She interpreted it as a sign of gratitude anyway.

When she went back to her original seat, she took a deep breath before walking up to the boy now in front of her.

"Is there still space?" she asked quietly and Shouto looked up to her, confused at her sudden appearance in front of him. Looking to his left, he nodded while turning back to her, scooting over a little so she could take the place on the far right, covering both of them with the blanket she'd taken along for them.

"W-Woah," Ashido squealed, "This is-"

"Let them be," Jirou interrupted deadpan. Ashido scowled at her playfully, calculating the knowledge of the girl in front of her.

Momo righted the blanket, grabbing his cold hand under it.

He looked at her, blinking a few times as he nodded at her.

She knew he was less open about showing his emotions while they were in public.

Reassuringly, she squeezed his hand.

And the show started.

"Congratulations on your father becoming the number one hero!" Kaminari told him awed, giving a thumbs up while nodding. A few other congratulations followed while Shouto did nothing but nod at them, only acknowledging their presence.

He didn't want to be congratulated.

"Just watch me," Endeavor had said, his resolution vibrating all through the room as every last one of his classmates was dead quiet.

Shouto didn't have to be smart to know his father had been talking to him.

Sure, he was going to watch, but what was he supposed to see? What was he supposed to witness? Was there even a sense in listening to the words of a lying flaming idiot?

A lying flaming idiot with the rank of first place of all heroes in Japan now.

He wasn't even sure if he'd blinked once during the reveal of the rankings. Hawks had gotten number two, which was another step forward for the young hero, while the man Shouto had despised most his life had reached his long strived goal.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Shouto realized how clueless, how worthless he felt as everything he knew slowly fell apart.

And when the feeling had only been small and short before, easily comforted by his sister, it seemed to rip him apart right now.

Because before, he had the possibility to say that it was just a guess, that it isn't even real, only a dream – but now? It was official, it was public knowledge.

He'd lost his purpose.

What was he supposed to watch? Endeavor pushing him aside, discarding him like a broken old tool?

Sure, he'd always wanted to be a hero – but why? Why did he even try? He wouldn't be better than his father anyway, pulling the people he loved into his own mess.

Yet, he didn't know if Endeavor had ever loved the icy beauty that had become the mother to his children.

And even though there was a hand, firmly holding onto his own icy one, growing colder and colder by the second, he couldn't feel comforted by it. Not right now. Not how he was now.

He didn't want Momo to comfort him. She shouldn't have to comfort him. She should have a man that could comfort her if it was necessary, and even though he had hugged her after the Kamino incident, he could only think about what a selfish bastard he was, hugging her and his sister because of his own needs.

Maybe Yoarashi had been right. He was like his father, in a way.

No matter how much he tried to deny it, push it away, he still clung onto that hand held out for him, making him realize that he pulled her into his mess just like his father had done to his mother many years ago.

Funny, as the only thing he'd ever sworn himself was to never turn into his father.

"Todoroki?" Momo asked quietly, only a breath over their loudly discussing classmates about which hero they think would've deserved a different ranking and why. He hadn't really listened, not bothering with their opinions.

He looked at her, squeezing her hand in an assuring way. He didn't want her to worry about him.

Still, her eyebrows were furrowed, analyzing his face, yet he knew there was nothing she could find.

There's no emotion to find if all he felt was hollowness.

"It's been super long since Endeavor chased after number one, hasn't it?" Kaminari asked thoughtfully, scratching his chin with his thumb, "At least he's finally got it now."

Shouto closed his eyes.

There was no reason for him to say anything to that.

"Todoroki, is he happy now that he's finally made it?" Sero then asked the question which was obviously burning on Kaminari's and Ashido's minds as well as they nodded quickly. He looked back and forth between all three.

Yeah, he's super happy, he's throwing tantrums like a kid destroying stuff because he's so relieved to have finally reached his life goal.

He was about to form some kind of believable lie, even though he hated lies, to give his classmates satisfaction so they'd leave him alone.

Ever since the sports festival he had been thinking about what to do. Use his fire, leave it be. Train with his father, leave it be.

Forgive him, or hold on to the one thing he could always rely on all his life.

There was no need for him to answer, as someone else took over.

"I'm sure he's fucking delighted, Scotch Tape," Bakugou replied, earning himself a shocked stare from Shouto, "Of course he's gonna be happy, that's all his shitty ass has always been aiming for."

A tiny chuckle escaped Shouto's throat.

He couldn't have said it better.

He liked that it was at least public knowledge Endeavor was pretty much a dick, as Hawks had won the popularity poll by long.

That earned him another squeeze of his hand. He looked over to his fiancée, who still looked way too worried for his liking. He didn't want her to worry.

All he ever did was worry the people he loved – and what was the result?

They'd leave with a bang.

Momo interlaced her fingers with his, biting her lower lip as she looked at him, obviously contemplating what she was supposed to do.

His hand was still freezing over, he realized, as he heard the sound of ice cracking as she moved her hand around.

He was sorry for being like this.

He was confused, about everything. About his life, about his purpose and reason for existing as well as his resolution for being a hero - but even more so, he was confused about what he should feel about the girl keeping him upright.

He wanted to hold her hand, incredibly so, as the touch grounded him.

But if it came at the usual price…Would he be able to stand losing her?

A shiver ran down his spine as he knew the answer right away.

He wouldn't be able to stand losing anyone he loved ever again.

But how was he supposed to keep her at his side?

They were only kids, both hurt in their own ways. Thrown together by a strange twist of fate.

Maybe…Maybe it was supposed to be like this? Maybe he was supposed to fall in love with her right as his father became the number one, so she could ground him when he was swept off his feet, stumbling in a snowfield in which the footprints had disappeared?

When he looked at her, he took in the way her round, beautiful cheeks pointed in a sharp chin, her plump lips still pulled between her teeth, as the worry on her face was visible. How her charcoal colored eyebrows furrowed, her onyx eyes looking almost dim as her usual passionate glow seemed lost.

He didn't want to see her like this.

Of course she was still gorgeous, but he didn't want her to worry, not about him.

Maybe he should tell her about the hole in his chest that was only held together by her love.

No, he wasn't sure if she loved him.

It would make sense, certainly, but…he couldn't believe in it, not really. Not with all his heart.

But when he looked at her like that – he certainly wished she felt the same.

Yet…He wasn't ready to those three words, not at all. As long as he kept them to himself, it wouldn't become real.

And if it didn't become real, she wouldn't get hurt.

Even if he didn't say those words…There were other ways to show her he cared.

"Momo?" he whispered breathlessly and she looked into his eyes, worry growing again at the use of her first name.

He really must've forgotten they weren't alone here.

"Shouto?" she whispered even more quiet, looking around to check if anyone had noticed.

He didn't care either way.

"Well," he started, blinking while averting his gaze bashfully, "Do you…Do you have anything planned on Christmas Eve?"

It's not like his family had ever celebrated Christmas…but he'd heard about the meaning it had in this country.

Shyly looking at her out of the corner of his eyes, a little afraid of her reaction, he saw how her worried face turned to a smile, brighter and more beautiful like any angel could ever have been.

The glimmer, the shine and sparkle in her eyes was back.

"Not yet," she whispered brightly, her eyes closing a little from how bright her smile was, the grip on his hand turning stronger again as she let go of her lower lip, "B-But," she started thoughtfully, her hands starting to shake.

"But I'd be happy to spend it with you."

He was a child, stumbling in a snowfield, surrounded by a storm so strong it seemed to pull him under, while the only thing keeping him upright was the girl holding his hand, guiding him to a place in which he could stand on his own.

Yet, he fell down, and he knew, deep down, that holding onto this hand was only going to be the end of both of them.

Still…

…he couldn't let go.

Notes:

And now, after all of you either want to murder me or praise me for the wonderful work -

I'll write a Christmas special for the 24th of December and I'm gonna hype it already, because it is AN ARTWORK AND YOU'LL LOVE IT UGH.
You know that meme with 'Oh god it's happening!'? That's going to be the best description for next chapter!

The consequences of this chapter, as well as the underlying hints and everything will definitely play another big role - there's not only one antagonist, as you may realize after this chapter here. Things are not as easy to solve as they seem, so here we are.
Also, Iida POV for the win. He's so fun to write haha.

Also - Crash is now part of a series because I'm already calculating in a continuation~ the series is called "Crash and Burn (To Rise Again)" - Title up for interpretation!

See you guys on Christmas eve! Have a wonderful time~

Chapter 19: What if we ruin it all, and we love like fools?

Summary:

Fools - Lauren Aquilina

It all starts with an encounter, gets set into motion with a fateful coincidence, slowly forms a bond unseen and unfelt before, puts them together again and again to lead them out of the storm, gives them the power to hold on in this snowfield, opening their eyes to realize what they'd missed.

Yet, put together by a crazy twist of fate, two bound souls found each other in their own mazes for their connection, their bond to stregthen.

Because this world is a storm, relentless and cold and only together, they can withstand when it all goes wrong.

All of the hurt, all of the fears they harbor, all of those fateful coincidences are necessary...

...for them to love.

Notes:

I wish you all a Merry Christmas! :D

Here's the Christmas Special - which is not really a special in the usual sense because it is a very important part to the story and not an extra, but well...it's almost 10k long! I thought that after all these months of support by you all and the wonderful comments you left me as well as the great time I had answering all your questions on tumblr, you definitely deserve a tiny little present like this!

This year was horrible mostly, but I always had a great time listening/reading your thoughts and ugh, you guys are just great, awesome human beings, please always remember that!

I can't guarantee another update this year, but I'll definitely be reachable for questions and theories and time to freak out together on tumblr and in the comments here, so feel free to reach out to me! I guess you'll have more than enough reasons after this chapter! :D

I hope you enjoy and I'll wish all of you guys a Merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Chapter Text

Shouto knew something was wrong with him when he got up and felt his heart heavy in his chest, making breathing incredibly exhausting.

He guessed it had something to do with having to go home today.

Being in the dorms was more freeing, more relieving than he thought it was possible. He'd gotten the opportunity to make friends – and he'd give his best to do it, somehow. There was no reason for him to shy away.

He didn't want to face his father, though. They…hadn't talked about all this. Sure, Endeavor had sent him many, many texts, to which Shouto did his best not to reply to.

To say he wasn't ready to talk to his father yet was an understatement. His sister had told him the man had changed – that he was trying and that maybe Shouto should give him another chance.

Yet…he…wasn't sure. No matter what the man had to say, Shouto didn't want to hear any of it. Apologies? What for, that wouldn't make all of the years of…abuse, as Momo called it, go away.

Shouto couldn't believe the man was going to change, not after all of the times he'd been disappointed.

And if he hadn't changed…

…Shouto wasn't ready to be cast aside like his siblings, unimportant and ignored.

He knew he wasn't alone, he'd learned that again and again in the simple touches Momo exchanged with him whenever he was spacing out, disappearing into a cloud of self-doubt and fear of what was happening to him as his own thoughts seemed to devour him whole – he hadn't told her, yet he had the feeling she was catching on, somehow.

Momo had made sure to get him to believe that the people around him were trying to befriend him as well.
He didn't really do anything special to connect to his peers -
Yet he would've never thought that others considered him his friend to this extent.

"Todoroki!" someone screamed with all his might, so Shouto turned around quickly, suitcase already in hand while wearing a thick blue coat, his white scarf hiding his mouth while he blinked at the gold blonde behind him, who came to a stop in front of him, breathing heavily.
"Kaminari?" he asked confused, analyzing how there was a slight redness to the blonde's face as he looked at him pleadingly.
"I…" the electricity quirk hero-in-training started, "I've got a question, do you…maybe…have a minute?"

Again, Shouto blinked.

"Sure," he answered, muffled into his scarf.

Not even a minute later he found himself in the boy's bathroom, where a fidgeting Kaminari was awkwardly ruffling his hair.
"Why are we here?" Shouto asked. He wasn't sure why he went along in the first place.

But he wanted to make friends, so…that seemed to be the right answer, didn't it?

"So the girls don't see!" the blonde said loudly, looking around but quickly realizing they were alone here, as…pretty much everyone else had already left for the winter holidays, "Ugh," Kaminari shook his head, putting a hand on his forehead.
Shouto tilted his head, obviously not understanding anything.

Again, Kaminari ruffled his hair.

"You're pretty close to Yaoyorozu, aren't you?" the blonde asked after all, "Well, of course you are, you asked her out for Christmas, so…"

T-They…had heard that?

And no one had said a thing?

"Ugh, this is so difficult," Kaminari held onto the sink, leaning against it while looking at the dual haired boy in front of him, "How did you do it?"

"How did I do what?" Shouto asked, feigning indifference as he used his ice side to cool down his flaming face. He should've made sure no one knew. How did this happen? They wanted it to be private.

Kaminari blinked.

"Well, you know…Ashido saw you asking her out yesterday – and, well, Iida asked us not to say anything, especially not to-…Oh."

Oh. So not to him.

"Okay, yeah, so I failed at that, no surprise here, but, you know. I wanted to ask you how you asked her out. And made her say yes."

"Why do you want to know?"

"I…I want to do that as well."

Shouto took a defensive stance.

"If you want to ask out Yaoyoroz-"

"No!" Kaminari quickly waved with his hands, grinning awkwardly again, "Not Yaoyorozu, but you know," his voice suddenly turned very quiet, "…Jirou."

It clicked in Shouto's brain.

"You think I can give you a tip because I'm close to Yaoyorozu and she knows Jirou?"

"Yeah," Kaminari replied bashfully, averting his gaze.

"Just ask her," Shouto said, remembering something his mother had told him a long time ago, "You'll know when the moment is right."

"So…she doesn't hate me?" Kaminari asked with wide eyes, trying his best to hide his giddiness.

"Try not to be an idiot and she'll say yes," he answered, shaking his head, "Stop peeping on girls with Mineta though. Makes you look like a pervert. She won't say yes to that."

The blonde blushed almost as red as Shouto's hair.

"Y-Yeah. I…I guess that makes sense," the blonde shook his head, "I…I never knew out of all the people I knew I'd ask you for dating advice. Damn, still waters run deep, they say?"

If only he knew how deep they ran, Shouto thought, quickly pushing the thought away.

"Thank you, Todoroki. I…I'm relieved, kind of," the blonde then said, on his way to leave the bathroom, "You're actually a pretty cool guy. Get it? Because of the ice? Ugh, I'm sorry, Jirou'd hit me now. Anyway – have a great Christmas, and good luck with Yaomomo!"

It was only after Kaminari had long left and Shouto stood alone in the grey tiled bathroom that he answered the void.

"You're…welcome."

"Okay, Kyouka, what am I supposed to wear?" Momo asked, laying out the fifth outfit on top of her comforter. She was already at her parents place, taking apart her wardrobe.

After all…she was going on a date with Shouto! A real date this time. No sparring session or anything, but a real date! Ruffling her hair, she looked the outfits over again, all while trying to get it all on camera as she was video-chatting with Jirou.

"Don't wear the red dress, for god's sake, Yaomomo, you're not going to a gala."

"But red reminds me of him," Momo tried to defend the glittering red dress.

"Sappy," the purple haired girl remarked groaning, "It's super cold outside, why would you wear a dress like that? They even said it might snow tonight."

Suddenly excited, Momo showed her friend the sweater and skirt combination she'd laid out. A creme knit pullover with a dark red, long skirt.
"Wow," her friend awed, "That's warm and chic and christmassy all the same. I think it's perfect. Put it on."

Momo nodded quickly, taking the clothes with a pair of dark tights to get changed in the bathroom, leaving the phone on speaker.

"When's he coming to pick you up again?"
"At 5," Momo replied, "He'll have to bring me back home, you know. My dad would freak out if I stayed at his place."
"Didn't you say he already knows you've slept in the same bed before?"
"That…" Momo blushed, pulling her lips into a tight line, "That were special circumstances. I mean…I kind of see the reasoning behind it, yet I also don't. Shouto and I," she took a deep breath as she pulled the pullover over her head, "We're getting married, Kyouka. Married. In less than four months time. We'll be husband and wife. I can't wrap my head around it."

"This is total rich people stuff. We commoners don't engage in such endeavors," Jirou laughed, again mocking her vocabulary "But I gotcha. It seems so superficial."

"Exactly!" Momo was buttoning her skirt up while nodding vigorously, well aware that her friend couldn't see her, "But, Kyouka?"
"Yeah…?" the purple haired asked suspiciously.

"I'm afraid, somehow," Momo started quickly, making sure she didn't have too much time to overthink her words, "Not because of the marriage, there's no doubt in my mind that saying yes to this was the best thing I've ever done," she shook her head, "I'm afraid of losing him."

"Why would you…?"

Momo sighed.

"There's so, so much neither of us knows. He's been through a lot and he's still recovering but…there's this feeling I can't shake off. Like this happiness, this luck we have is a fragile house of cards that's going to collapse at any given moment."

There was silence on the line for a few short moments, while Momo brushed her hair, content with how it's falling over her shoulders.

"Even…" Jirou took a deep breath, effectively gaining full attention from Momo who took the phone in hand again, looking at her friend on the other side, "Even if it collapses…All you need to do is build it up again. And again. Everyone…everyone here is his or her little house of cards, and all we do is build and build until we slip, shaking the foundation of everything we believe in until it all comes crashing down. It's just important not to lose the cards. Arrange them again and again and you'll be able to build the biggest and most beautiful of houses."

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Momo let go of a breath, softly inhaling again.

"I…" she started, "You're right."

"Of course I'm right. I learned from the best," the girl on the other side started laughing.

"Thank you, Kyouka."

"Of course. That's what I'm here for."

"I…" Momo smiled at her friend, "I think I need to go now…there's only half an hour left."

Jirou nodded understandingly, smirking at her.
"I wish you the best of luck tonight, have a wonderful Christmas. And don't forget protection."

"Jirou!"

Laughing, the purple haired girl hung up the phone, leaving Momo to stare at her phone screen with wide eyes.

"Momo?" her mother asked quietly while knocking on the door to her room.

"Come in," she replied quickly, putting on a little powder and eyeliner. Nothing too drastic today.
"You look wonderful, little one," the older Yaoyorozu whispered, gently running a hand through her daughter's hair.
Smiling brightly, Momo finished the last tint of a slightly peachy lipstick, turning around to face her mother who she'd been observing through the window.

"Thank you, mom," the younger girl said before she started rambling, "I'm excited. And scared. And nervous. And…I don't know!"
"It's going to be fine," her mother laughed, "You've been on a date with him before, it's nothing new."

"Oh, mom," Momo said while chuckling devastated, "It's totally different! We're not going to train or anything – it's nothing like before."

Itsume nodded understandingly before going on a knee in front of her daughter, taking her warm but shaking hands.
"It's okay to be nervous, then. You'll see, it's going to be wonderful. Do you have a gift?"

"Of course," Momo quickly nodded, "I…I hope he'll like it."

"He will," her mother assured her, "because it's you who made it."

"I…" Momo blinked, realizing she should've seen it like that in the first place, "Right," she said, nodding determinedly, "There's no reason to be scared. I know I'm comfortable around him, so…why did I think like this in the first place?"

She had asked no one in particular, but her mother answered sadly.

"The human brain often does things we cannot really fathom. Sometimes it's difficult to let go of pessimistic thoughts like this, so all we can do is speak them out loud and find the true answer to our troubles so we can send them away."

Thoughtfully, Momo looked at the floor.

Why…did this hit home so perfectly?

She had been wallowing in her self-doubt for months, being self-depreciating and underestimating herself until there was someone showing her the truth.

And yes, that hadn't completely solved it all but there were only very few, very little instances while training in which she hesitated. She was fine now, even though it had consumed all of her mind back then. Once she'd told Shouto what it was that had been bothering her, what it was that was pulling her down after finals…it was like it disappeared from her mind. It was fine. It just was.

Still, the thought put another rock in her chest that she didn't fully understand.

Maybe…maybe it had something to do with the way Shouto had been in the last few weeks and months. How he didn't tell her anything, even though they'd promised they'd be honest.

The only thing he said was that he had no idea of what he was supposed to say or feel. That he was shocked and trying to be strong. And he hadn't said another word to what he felt after All Might's retirement.

"Mom?" she asked carefully.
"Yes, Momo?" her mother looked at her worriedly.
"If…If there's no way to get the words out of someone…What else can I do?" Momo looked to the floor again, fiddling with the little snowflake of her necklace unknowingly as she couldn't even remember putting it on.

"Mh," thoughtfully, her mother looked to the side for a little before looking at her again, "I guess you'll have to show them how much they matter to you so they find the strength to trust you enough to let the words flow. If that doesn't work…then you can only love them so much it's enough to replace their fear with warmth."

Momo started smiling.

If he wasn't ready to talk…there was only one other way to show him.

Okay, maybe there were many other ways – but that one, the one she kept in the back of her mind would certainly work, even if it was risky.

But she'd show him tonight, definitely.

Somehow…Shouto was nervous.

He didn't truly understand why, and he didn't think he'd ever figure it out, but his nerves were getting the better of him as he was finished putting on the dark blue pullover. Staring at the wall, he felt his heart racing, so he took a deep breath to somehow calm down.

To his total surprise it didn't work.

Sighing, he let out a shaky breath.

When he'd met his fiancée for the first time, he hadn't been as nervous as he was right now – but, well, he also didn't give her a gift like this one. And after how she'd reacted to the necklace he'd gifted her on her birthday, he had no idea, no way of knowing how she would react this time. She'd been incredibly happy about the necklace, so…this might be…perfect.

Or it was the exact opposite, making her hate him and pushing him away and-

Yeah, well, he wasn't prepared for the latter.

A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts. "Yeah?" he asked quietly, breaking his staring contest with a certain paper wall to look at his door.
The door was sled open a little as his sister stepped into the room.

"Shouto," she started, smiling at him nervously, "I wanted to ask if I should drive you to the Yaoyorozu estate."
For a moment, he just blinked at her before her words registered in his brain.
"You…would do that?" he asked breathlessly, his heart rate still spiking.
"Of course," she said, righting her glasses while leaning on the door, "I…I wanted to spend some sister-brother time with you before dad comes to join us tomorrow evening."

It was just normal that Endeavor wasn't here for the holidays. They'd never celebrated them…so why start now?

Nothing ever changed.

"That…sounds nice," he whispered, looking at her and letting go of the thoughts that tried to invade his mind again.
There was no time for anything like this today. There were more pressing, more wonderful matters at hand.

"Fuyumi?" Shouto asked thoughtfully, looking at his sister while she was driving, his phone in hand.
"Yes?" she answered smiling, looking over her shoulder for a second while she was taking a left turn.

"Why do people kiss each other?"

She suddenly hit the brake a little too hard, almost getting them to a stop in the raging traffic as she apologetically waved backwards while going back to speeding up.

Looking at him out of her peripherals for a moment, she swallowed hard. "W-Why…Where's that question coming from?"
"I…" Shouto cleared his voice, suddenly realizing he'd made someone uncomfortable again, just like usual, "There was this guy from my class sending a picture of a mistletoe into the group chat," the dual haired teen looked at the picture Kaminari had posted with the notation of 'Guys, who's ready for a Christmas kiss 3?'

Shouto had not understood, so he took the chance to ask his sister.
"He wrote something about kisses underneath, so…" Shouto looked out of the window bashfully, "…I wondered why people would kiss each other. My therapist only told me it's kinda good but I don't really understand it."

Looking at her again, he saw how she nodded slowly, obviously waging her words.

"Well," she said, taking a right turn, "People kiss what they love, at least mostly. How can I say it to make this more logical…?"

Shouto tilted his head, not yet understanding as he looked at his sister, observing how her eyebrows furrowed while she was driving and thinking about his question at the same time.

"Ah!" she suddenly nodded while smiling widely, "You know…There are like…two different roads in a relationship. One emotional, the other physical. They usually play about the same part and are of equal importance. Like…if you're emotionally invested enough, the physical touch is kind of at the same level already."

"What does that mean?"

"Well," his sister cleared her voice, "The more you love someone, the more okay you are with them getting intimate with you. It's usually kind of developing at the same speed, even if there are exceptions, of course."

"But…" Shouto started, already recognizing the scenery around the Yaoyorozu mansion, "Momo and I are not really….intimate. Does that mean we don't…love?"

"No, god no, Shouto," she was shaking her head quickly, "You're afraid of touch, there's no need to pressure yourself with the standards of other people."

Again, he was glad he had told his sister of his predicament that night when he'd first asked her for a hug. It was obvious she was a teacher as her patience and ability to explain things was very, very prominent. Shouto'd learned a lot about his sister, even in the times they'd moved to the dorms already, as he kept contact with her, calling her every evening, sometimes even together with Momo when she was with him coincidentally.

"Thank you, Fuyumi," he answered quietly, observing her smile before it disappeared a little.

"Shouto?" she asked carefully. He swallowed, fearing whatever question she had.
"Yeah?" he replied monotonously.

"Well, tomorrow," she started, "We'll visit mom. Do you want to come along?"
"We?" he asked. Not possibly…they didn't actually let Endeavor enter that damn-
"Natsuo is coming over for a few days. I…I told him it might be good for you to have a brother again…after everything."

Natsuo?

Shouto faintly remembered the biggest child, as they'd been playing ball in the yard while he was-

He cleared his voice to clear his head.

There was no need to think about this any longer. The answer was obvious.

"I'll come along."

To meet the brother he'd last seen ten years ago.

Shouto cleared his voice before he rang the doorbell. Quickly righting his thick blue coat, groaning in annoyance at his own nervousness, he looked over his shoulder to see his sister waving at him from her car, officially waiting until the door was opened.
Taking a deep breath, he looked at the door, analyzing the intricate wooden patterns and the golden handle and door lock.
If he'd ever manage to make her feel as comfortable as she was in her own home?

He was quickly snapped out of his thoughts as he looked at the woman opening the door, recognizing the older maid, yet not remembering her name.
"Good evening, young man," she said and he was sure maids were actually supposed to be a lot more formal, yet he was incredibly relieved not to be treated specially. He wasn't used to it at all. It only made him act even more awkward than he usually was.
"Good evening," he replied, nodding at her to appreciate her presence.
"Come in, come in," she quickly said smiling, ushering him inside and closing the door behind him, "The young lady is going to be right there. Can I bring you anything? Water? Biscuits?"
He stared at her dumbstruck at the open way he was welcomed with by her and the personnel. "It's fine," he replied awkwardly.
"As you wish," the maid smiled professionally, "I'll inform the young lady of your arrival. Please, take a seat." She gestured to the little couch in the foyer, right between the giant staircases leading upwards on both sides, as he nodded at her thankfully and sat down.

It hadn't even taken a minute before the maid was back again, standing in front of him and looking down at him, not saying anything.
He blinked at her confused and awkward.
"You kids still owe me an explanation," she said smugly and his eyes widened.
Was this the maid that had found them after…the hug?
"Well," he started, without having any idea where to go with his sentence. What was he supposed to tell her? Would it make sense? Did Momo already say anything? If yes, what was he supposed to say that wouldn't end up being completely different from what Momo had told her? "Well," he cleared his voice, still stuck on the first word, "We…Eh, talked…and I…," he looked away, "I guess we fell asleep."

A quiet chuckle greeted him, making the old and grey woman seem as young as a child, so warm it seemed.
"Don't worry, Todoroki, I saw how peaceful you both looked, even though she seemed quite protective. I was once was young as well, you know. As long as it is what makes you happy, I'm not going to judge what you two do."
"Ari!" Momo said exasperated as she came down the stairs, probably only having heard the end of the sentence. She was walking fast as she looked at the maid, before her gaze wandered further and she stopped in her tracks.

She was the most beautiful being Shouto had ever seen. Her hair was falling openly over her shoulders, as naturally straight as it was while her slightly darkened eyes looked at him with a gaze that let his heart skip a beat, making him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

And she was wearing his colors.

Okay, it wasn't really white and red, but crème and red, but it still felt like that was her intention. He couldn't rip his gaze from her, as she started smiling again and almost made him pinch himself as he couldn't believe that this girl, this woman in front of him was really his girlfriend, his fiancée, the woman he was going to marry. He just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that fate had done so well to him when all he'd ever gotten was-

"S-Shouto," she stammered, blinking and looking down at herself for a second before smiling at him.
He quickly stood up, taking a step toward her and stretching out his arms. Fate…was unbelievable. And he needed to feel her to make sure she was real and he wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night to be scared by his father's trials to make him stronger. If this indeed was a dream…he'd stay asleep for the rest of his life, without doubt.

But maybe, just maybe, it was real.

Her smile meant more than the world to him and it got wider when she witnessed his way of greeting, making her take the last step to wrap her arms around him.

"I…" he started, wrapping her in his arms a little tighter, "I missed you."
She did the same, tightening her hold on him. "It's only been a day."
He buried his face in her hair, taking in the way she smelled slightly like lavender before he gently pulled away.

"How are you?" he asked carefully, trying to distract from his affectionate outburst.
"I'm fine," she answered, taking his hand in hers and interlacing their fingers, "You?"
"I'm great," he replied breathlessly. He was being honest. He was great, now that she was here.

"Young love," Ari replied smiling while Shouto saw Momo's parents walk down the stairs together. For a second he asked himself if he should take his hand out of hers – yet…No, he was holding onto it. No further discussion.

"Todoroki," her father greeted him and he blinked deadpan, not knowing what to do except hold her hand tighter.
"Yaoyorozu," he replied seriously, still on guard of the 'dad jokes' her father tended to make.
The black haired man only shook his head while laughing.
"Merry Christmas," her father said, resting his arm over the shoulder of his wife who was only smiling at the two teenagers standing in front of them with their hands interlaced.
"Merry…Christmas," Shouto replied hesitantly, not used to the words as he hadn't celebrated it for as long as he could remember.

"Let's go," Momo said, nodding at Ari who quickly handed her an earth-toned coat, which she put on after reluctantly letting go of his hand.

"Bring her home by ten!" her father yelled after them as they were on the way to leave the house. Momo turned around.

"Dad!" she yelled back desperately, a little fed up with her father's antics.

Her mother's laugh could be heard all the way there, before she stepped up to the door to wink at them. "Just make sure she's happy and safe. I'm going to ignore the rest for today."

Shouto nodded, looking at Momo who blushed a little while smiling at the ground bashfully.

"I will," he answered her mother, taking Momo's hand and gently pulling her along when they left the Yaoyorozu estate.

This was a promise he'd make to himself.

He would make sure she was happy, safe and loved. That was all that mattered.

"Okay, where do we go?" he asked her while they entered the subway station, "You decide."
They stopped walking, stopping at the side of a badly lit corridor to think about their plan for the evening.
The truth was…they hadn't really made any plans for the day.

The cold pale green tiles reflected the fluorescent lighting, the concrete under their feet dirty and old. Yet, as long as it was her with him, it didn't matter where he was or what he was doing – he was content with just standing here for the evening.
He knew, of course, that they had to eat something sooner or later.

"Mh," she looked thoughtful, chewing on her lower lip again, "We could…Mh, no, better not."
"What?" he asked playfully, smirking slightly.
"No, I mean-…It's so hilarious, I mean…Well, I've never…"
"Just say it," he said, quickly realizing he was being too brash, "I'd like to know, no matter how hilarious you think it is."

She smiled at him, huffing lightly.
"You know," she started, "I'm proud of you."

He stopped in whatever motions he'd been doing, staring at her dumbstruck again.

"Why? What'd I do?"

She laughed brightly and he didn't know what to say. What did he not get?

"You're slowly accustoming to social norms and clues, or maybe not, I'm not sure…But even though you're still bold – and please never change that – you're trying to be nicer. I'm proud of you for that. You're learning, getting better. You're not even flinching anymore when I hug you – I'm just happy and proud," she said, taking his hand left hand to feel the warmth of it, demonstrating how he was completely fine with the touch that had taken him immense concentration before.
"You think I'm getting better?" he asked quietly. She nodded vigorously.
"You are, definitely."

He squeezed her hand tightly, looking to the wall for a little while, trying his best to get the words in his head before he concentrated on her again.

"Anyway," he started, clearing his voice, "Where are we eating dinner?"

Her eyes suddenly lighted up at the mention of food.

"There's this trend I've heard about, something traditionally Japanese. And – even though I know you probably don't celebrate it – I thought it could be really nice. It would be so extremely different from the Christmas parties my family usually hosts, so…"

"…You're worried that it's just going to be weird?"

"I guess," she nodded, "That's my main objection."

"I've got no idea which trend you're talking about, but I'll be fine with whatever you have in mind."

"Alright," she whispered, "let's be scandalous today."

"Scandalous?" he replied with furrowed eyebrows. He should've known. He really should've known her well enough to know what kind of 'scandal' she was talking about as all she was used to were fancy dinners from European chefs on Christmas eve, preparing the most expensive festive dinner variations, so proposing something like this was a scandal indeed.

"Let's eat fried chicken," she said with a determination, with a glee in her eyes that hit him like a train, making him speechless.

There was nothing more he needed to know his answer.

"Sure," he said, taking up walking again, pulling her a little before she started walking with him, quickly catching up to him.

"Do you know the way?" she then asked happily while they went down another set of stairs to the station they'd need to get into.
"Not really," he replied, "But if we go downtown there's probably gonna be a few stores."
"What if we get lost?" she asked with furrowed brows, obviously worried about getting home again.
"Then we'll be lost," he replied, shaking his head, "Let's just see where the evening will take us, okay?"

When he made the next step he was pulled back as she had stopped walking, coming to a stop in the middle of the staircase, so he was standing on a step further down than her.
He looked up to her, quickly blinking as he realized how the bad lighting from behind her made her look almost ethereal, like it'd been at Ennichi which seemed to be so far away even though it had only been like…half a year?

Oh yeah. Half a year. It's been more than half a year that he's been slowly, slowly falling for her remorselessly.

She was biting her lip, looking towards the floor to her right.

"Is…something wrong?" he asked, unsure of himself and everything they'd planned. Yeah, he certainly knew she wasn't exactly a person who'd be too happy about spontaneous and even possibly dangerous things that were preventable…so maybe it was that? That wouldn't be a problem, they both had their phones with them so they could still look at directions, but-

He didn't care too much about where they were going, as the only destination he could be searching for was right in front of him at this very moment.

She squeezed his hand, letting go of her lip to let go of a long breath.

"N-No, nothing is wrong, I'm just…" she shook her head, "I'll let you lead the way. I trust you, Shouto."

He chuckled shortly, shaking his head as well.

"Probably not the best decision, but," he looked up to his far left, "I guess it's mutual trust we've got there."

She playfully boxed his shoulder, making him look at her again to witness her enormous pout.

"What?" he asked defensively, holding his shoulder with furrowed brows.

He had not flinched at her playfulness, even though he'd done that before.

How had she said? He was…making progress.

She started giggling while shaking her head.
"You're always acting like you're not romantic, but you're always hiding something beautiful in your defensive retorts," she said quietly, being interrupted by him quickly holding onto her hips to move her out of the way of an oncoming person, the older woman smiling at them solemnly while carrying her many many bags.

Christmas was in the air, obviously.

He concentrated on everything but the girl in front of him as he did not desire to go up in flames as he realized she was blushing as well.

"Sorry," he said, looking at her out of the peripherals of his vision.
"No, thank you," she said, smiling at him slightly before clearing her voice, "Where did I leave off?"
"No clue," he answered honestly, looking at her completely again to lose himself in the darkest eyes he'd ever seen and he'd never exchange for anything in the world just to see them looking at him the way they were right now.

"You're the best," she laughed while retaking his hand to step around him, pulling him toward her as he took in the way her raven hair flowed with the movement and he suppressed the urge to find out if it really was as soft as it looked like.

And when she turned around to look at him while walking when they'd long left the staircase behind, his heart seemed to stop again, as her smile was wide as she giggled in the long dark of the night, in a dirty old subway station as he couldn't do anything but stare at her, taking in her warmth.

He fell for her all over again.

"I can't believe you're here," Mina said laughing, "I mean how high is the possibility that this happens? I mean, we live in different parts of the city!"
"I agree – I mean…a double date on Christmas eve? At KFC?" Ojirou replied while shaking his head unbelievingly.

"It's definitely fate, what else is it supposed to be? I mean…Ojirou and I were planning on eating something fancy but well, being a student doesn't make this so super duper easy," Hagakure added, jumping excitedly in her seat, effectively only letting a floating sweater move, "How high are the chances that we ran into you and Sero right here, right now, it's so exciting!"

"True thing, Hagakure," Sero added sitting back in the bench.

They were sitting outside in the bitter cold, only kept warm by their giant and fluffy jackets while the storekeeper had even brought them blankets outside as the inside was completely full.

Happily chewing on one of the drumsticks, Mina observed the black haired boy sitting in front of her. There was no way to deny she'd been on dates with him now that Hagakure and Ojirou had seen them. It didn't matter, she supposed, as she was content and fine with people knowing about her dating life.

Even though there were other couples that obviously didn't think the same.
She'd always been great at seeing the newest developments in the romances secretly blooming at their school – she had a great eye for the details and little gazes they usually threw at the other.

"I can't believe it," Hagakure suddenly whispered, getting the attention of the three around her immediately, "Please don't turn around, we need to stay incognito but I think I just saw Yaomomo and Todoroki on the other side of the street."
"What?" Mina asked quietly, quickly looking the same way her friend had looked as they were sitting on the same side on the bench.

And really. Actually. Was this possible?

This didn't make sense at all, did it? But they were there, definitely. And even if they tried to argue that maybe it wasn't Yaomomo a head of red and white hair gave them away at first glance.

They were sitting pretty far away from them at the last table-bench set that was left outside.

And…they were…

"Holding hands?" Mina then whispered conspicuously.

Around a hundred theories started sprouting in her mind.

"This. Is. So. Good," Momo said when she swallowed a bite of her chicken nugget, having avoided the boney variation for now while she was completely content.
"Yeah," he replied smiling and she stopped eating to look at him questioning as he stared at her. Then she looked down on herself, wiping her mouth with a napkin.
"Is…Is there something on my face?" she asked unsurely. Why else would he stare at her like that? But he wasn't one to laugh at her either…so what?
"No," he replied, taking a bite himself, "You're just too adorable when you're eating."
"It's…It's not my fault I need to eat that much for my Quirk to function," she replied pouting while taking another bite of her nugget.
"It's a good thing," he promised, his smile not faltering the least bit.

She got annoyed at herself for blushing again. It's not like he wasn't always like this. Complimenting her for things she didn't even know she'd be happy to hear.

It wasn't a well kept secret that she wasn't very happy with her body, hadn't ever been, but she'd never, ever, felt this content about everything in her life as she was with him. She could eat two sets of chicken nuggets and he'd still look at her like that alone made him-

Love her even more.

Momo swallowed.

They…hadn't said that, yet. It was just…too much, too early for her to say the words because she was sure he wasn't ready to reciprocate them even though she felt like their actions spoke for themselves, like always.
She wasn't unhappy with that, not in the least. She was extremely happy with how it was and what they had as she'd never felt such an emotional connection with anyone in her life. And she guessed it was the same for him as he'd trusted her with so much – with his life's story, his fear of intimacy and the task to somehow allow him to live a normal life with her.

Even though she knew, she just knew that there was something bigger playing in the back of his mind that she had no chance of reaching how they were right now, she was happy.

Yes, she was happy with her life how it was now.

Of course she craved things she couldn't have, not at the moment, maybe never, but it was enough for her.
No one made her feel as loved, as cared for and appreciated as the boy that was sitting in front of her, mindlessly chewing on a drumstick.
Reaching out her right hand, she took his left that was only lying on the table to gently squeeze it to get his attention as there were no words to ever express what she was feeling when he locked eyes with her, stone and aqua meeting her gaze.

Her heart still raced whenever he looked at her like that.

She guessed that feeling would never cease, no matter how many years they'd stay together in the future and she had no objections in finding out.

He squeezed her hand as well, looking at his drumstick again to realize there was pretty much only bone left as he put it down, locking eyes again before his eyebrows furrowed. She blinked, wondering what he was thinking about.

Reaching over the table, he took one of her nuggets and held it into her face, stuffing it in her mouth when she was about to protest before he took his seat again to take another drumstick and smirk at her before he went back to munching on it.

Sighing through her chicken nugget, Momo accepted her fate as she started chewing it solemnly.

It was ice cold that night, the windows of the cars around them quickly freezing as they sat here, outside in the dead of winter not saying a word as everything left unspoken could be felt in the air, keeping them warm.

"Momo," Shouto asked her when they'd left behind the restaurant, "I've got a question."
"What is it?" she answered, turning around to him while walking backwards, confident that he'd tell her if she was running into something.

"I…" he started, shaking his head, "No, nevermind."

"You can ask me anything, you know that," she clarified again, taking a look over her shoulder, just to be sure, to realize that there was almost no one right here, as it was very late already. She would've made sure they were at her place punctually, yet…she couldn't get herself to ask him to go home.
No, that wasn't right. She didn't want to go home. She really enjoyed his company, loving how even when they were quiet there was no lingering tension around them. She just loved how they were, and she loved how they might become over the years.

Ugh, she just loved him, that's it.

"We…" he bit his lower lip for a second, "Well, my sister and I are going to meet my mother tomorrow. And well, my brother's coming along too."

She stopped in her tracks, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Your older brother? How…How long has it been?" she quickly asked while he came to a stop in front of her as well.

"Do you mean seeing him or…meeting him?" he asked and her heart started to ache again, remembering how he'd grown up in isolation.
"M-Meeting him…" she whispered quietly, a shudder running down her back when she only tried to imagine the pain and torture her man had gone through.
"About…" Shouto started walking again, putting his hands in his blue coat's pockets, "…eleven? I haven't really talked to him since Endeavor started training me. While I saw my mom a lot before she…you know, I haven't really interacted with my siblings since then. I mean…My father never even told me that Touya had died."
"Eleven years," Momo took a deep breath, letting go of it to calm her nerves. She didn't have any siblings so there was no way she knew what he was feeling at all, yet…it strangely aggravated her.
"Wait," she said, "Your oldest brother is…dead?"
"Yeah," Shouto replied, averting her gaze.
"What…happened?" she quietly asked, wanting to comfort him but unsure if he'd be happy to have her touch him at the moment. She let him decide most of the time, definitely. It was the logical conclusion as she didn't want to throw him back into his fear.
"Well," her fiancée said dryly, "Endeavor broke him, just like me."

She slowed their walk progressively until they were standing again.
"So…he's still alive?"
"No," Shouto shook his head, "I don't know the details but he burned himself alive while trying to match my father's standards."
"That's…" Momo looked to the floor, "That's horrible."

Then she turned around to face him, looking at him directly.

"Why…do you say 'just like me' then?" she asked quietly, closing her eyes as she was afraid of the answer.

"Because," he started breathlessly, making her look at him again, "Because I didn't know what it felt like to be alive until I met you."

Momo let go of a breath she hadn't noticed she'd been holding as she blinked away the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes while she stretched out her arms, proposing him a hug.
He smirked, quickly wrapping her in his arms as he laid his head on her shoulder.

"Anyway," he started, "I…I wanted to ask if you want to come along to meet my family."

She tightened her hold on him, nodding into his neck.

"I'd be honored to meet your family, Shouto," she whispered, "I might get a heart attack from nervousness, but I'll gladly accompany you."

"Thank you, Momo," he whispered.

She chuckled quietly, "It's my pleasure."

Letting go of her, he took her right hand in his left one, continuing to walk as she interlaced their fingers. He realized how cold her hand was, so he pulled her a little towards him until their shoulders touched.
Looking at her in the dim lighting of the streetlights, he saw how she blushed and averted her gaze from him, clutching his hand a little tighter.

"Where are we even walking?" he asked quietly, mostly to himself to which she replied a solemn, "To the beach. I mean,"… she looked at him again, "We can already see the streetlights and the little hut. I heard that someone cleaned the entire park!"

"Yeah…right," he said while they kept on walking, "That sounds like a good idea."

"It's not too cold, is it?" he asked Momo carefully when they'd reached the beach, the strong wind blowing the frosty December air around them.
"It's fine!" she yelled back from a few feet away as she ran ahead, laughing happily.

He couldn't believe how happy he was, not at all.
It seemed unreal, illogical for him to have that much luck.
He tried not to blink, fearing the image in front of him would disappear if he closed his eyes even once. Of course that was impossible with the strong wind around them, making him blink a few times until his eyes stopped stinging, making him understand that the scene in front of him was real. It was the here and now in front of him, as the girl he loved ran ahead in the black of a late December night.
There were no street lanterns, so he made a tiny little fire with his left hand, easily controllable.

Looking at the flame for a while, he realized how there were other things flames could do except hurting people while that was all he'd known for so, so long.
Now it was normal. Lighting a fireplace, lighting a stove, making a light in the dark to guide them the way at a cold beach, letting them find their destination.
Her face was only lighted lightly over the distance as she stopped to wait for him.

That's how it was.

She was always waiting for him.

He didn't want her to wait any longer.

"Your fire is nice and cozy and warm," she said all of a sudden when he'd come to a stop in front of her.
He blinked at her, unsure of where she'd gotten the inspiration to say so, but she only smiled at him and took his right hand, pulling him behind her until they'd reached the tiny little hut at the end of the pier.
The waves crashed around them, even louder as it was quiet on the beach, with the sand all around them, having made walking here not especially easy, yet it was worth it, definitely, as Shouto could see how the moon was reflecting in the sea, making it look mysterious. Endless, as, in this world that was changing so quickly, it was one of the things that lasted.

He saw there were little lanterns in the corners of the hut, so he bent down to light them so he could put out his fire.

When he turned towards her again, now lighted brightly by the warm and orange flames, he saw how she was holding out a little package.

"I…" she started, "I've got you something for Christmas."

He blinked at her, speechless.

"I-" he replied, "I…Thank you, Momo."

Holding out his hands, he took the little package to analyze the satiny red wrapping paper, rounded up with a golden string around it, tied in a bow on top.

"Unpack it," she said when he just stared it and he looked up to see how her eyebrows were furrowed.

He huffed, sorry for being like this again, as he wasn't used to how exactly Christmas worked.
Carefully untying the bow he tried to get his clumpy fingers to open it without making a complete mess out of the beautiful wrapping paper.

Finally holding the box in his hand, he opened it to pull out something that made him smile widely.
"A Matryoshka?" he asked unbelieving, looking at the doll closer just to realize that he totally knew who that was supposed to be, "Is that…me?"
He looked up at her to see her nod, smiling at him warmly while he took in how beautifully crafted it looked, the half and half head of hair captured accurately, his dark blue hero suit taken as the main reference in the whole color scheme.
The mouth was only a grim line, making him furrow his eyebrows.

She laughed solemnly in front of him, making him look at her she gently took his hands in hers, guiding him as she opened the doll, showing another one. This one was kept in mostly whites and had…a little flower painted on it.
"This is you when we'd…met for the first time," she explained.
So it was the white suit he'd been wearing that day that had given her the color inspiration.

He smiled at the doll, weighing it in his hand to again reminisce about how perfectly crafted it was. Asking himself if there was another one inside it, he opened it to see that it was empty.
It's not like he minded, two were-

A sizzling sound made him look at the girl in front of him, who'd pulled back her sleeve to make…another doll?
She had her lips pulled into a tight line as she concentrated on crafting before she looked at the finished doll and nodded, handing it to him.
"And this is you today," she whispered while he looked at it. It was even smaller then the white one, definitely, and now that he had all of them next to each other…their smiles grew wider with every further doll.

"Even if you can't see that you've made progress…I can. And since the sports festival, you've changed so, so much, and I'm so proud of you. So I'm giving you these dolls, as a reminder that even though you may feel sad or beaten down, you're still getting better," she explained quietly while he looked at her, blinking a few times to suppress the tears that were pricking the corners of his eyes again, "Merry Christmas, Shouto."

He put the dolls inside each other with shaking hands before he placed them in the box again, carefully putting it onto the cold floor so he could wrap his arms around the girl in front of him.

"T-Thank you," he sniffed awkwardly, trying his best to stay composed, while his heart started beating stronger and stronger and faster in anticipation to what would happen next.
He hoped his message, his thankfulness and the feeling of how lucky he was to have a girl like this would be delivered to her even though he wasn't saying anything.

"You're welcome," she replied, wrapping her arms around him as well.

They stayed like this for a while as Shouto searched for words to start.

Clearing his voice, he pulled away from her, taking a step back.
"I…" he started, "I got you something as well."

He promised he'd never let go of her hand, and he'd never be the reason for her smile to disappear, yet he could only hope the present would deliver his intentions, even though his words couldn't.

Letting go of a long breath, he took the box out of his coat's pocket, holding it towards her while looking to his right.

When she took the box, not nearly as prettily wrapped as the one she'd given to him, he looked at her again, analyzing every last bit of her face he could see. He wished he knew what she thought.

Gently unwrapping it without ripping the gift wrapping, she looked at the little black box.

He knew he loved her, even if it was unconscious, from the moment he'd fallen asleep in her arms.

Over the months they had spent together, the things they went through together, he only fell for her more.

The moment she snapped open the box, he thought about that evening in front of school when they'd talked alone for the first time after he'd argued with his father, the times they worried each other with the Hosu incident and how they only bonded further during finals as he'd finally admitted he'd voted for her as class president.
And how fate put them together as future husband and wife through a mistake her parents had made a long time ago.

He could only pray that what had started as a mistake would end up being the most beautiful thing he'd ever get to witness.

"S-Shouto?" she asked quietly, blinking at the ring for a few times before she looked up to him, then back at the ring, just to look at him again-

"I," he started, swallowing the lump in his throat, "I know we never had a real choice in all of this. I mean…Without this contract, who knows if we'd ever…Well, that doesn't matter now. I just…I just…"

He looked into her eyes, searching for the words or hoping that whatever power had put them together would somehow deliver the words he was trying to convey.

"Even though we never had a real choice in all of this, I'm taking this chance," he looked away nervously, yet he knew he had to keep eye contact for this.

"I'm taking this chance to give you the ring you deserve, because I want to let you know that I chose you. That I'm…happy it's you. And even though we didn't decide this ourselves, and I know this might be pretty dumb because we're still kids and we've got no idea of what's to come and you know I've got no idea what living even really means…" he held out his hand, which she quickly took, soothing his nerves as she didn't push him away from the get-go, "I really want to do this. I'll try my best to do this."

He squeezed her hand, closing his eyes.

"I want to marry you, Yaoyorozu Momo. Do you want to stay with me?"

It was quiet except for the crashing of waves against the shore, as he could not see anything because he kept his eyes closed.

"Shouto," she whispered and he quickly opened his eyes to see the tears running down her face.
He was about to apologize when she handed him the box.

His heart sank to his feet. She…said no?

Oh…he'd feared that, even though it had been that obvious-

"Put it on," she said, quietly, making him look at her again to see her determined face and the way she held out her right hand. He didn't move. "Put it on, Shouto," she said again, louder this time as he slowly and with shaking hands pulled the silver ring out of its container, the crystal snowflake glowing almost orange in the light of the flames lighting the little hut they were standing under.

When he'd successfully put in on her ring finger, she lifted her hand to look at the ring again, putting her other hand in front of her mouth as she stifled a cry, almost getting him to panic before she threw her arms around him.
"Yes!" she whisper-yelled, "Yes, Shouto, I want to marry you."

The stone in his chest dissipated.

She said yes.

She said yes.

They didn't even realize how the moon had long stopped shining onto the sea, dimming the light into almost complete blackness in the middle of December as the clouds moved to cover it.

They hadn't realized the snowflakes surrounding them either, as it started snowing a long time ago, leaving them together in a field of snow, holding each other.

But that was not all.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered, gently stroking a few stray hairs behind her ear as they'd pulled away from each other a little. She wiped away her tears to beam at him, letting his still racing heart skip a beat.

Then she just looked at him thoughtfully.

He didn't know what she could've possibly been thinking about.

"Oh, I don't care," she then whispered quietly, laying her hands on his shoulders to gently peck the corner of his mouth with her lips.

She….kissed him?

People kiss what they love, his sister's words echoed in his mind.

She…loved him?

Swallowing the lump in his throat as she looked at him, smiling softly, as if she were waiting patiently, content with how it was, he ignored every fear he had.

No, he didn't ignore any fears. They just ceased to exist, right here, right now, in this moment where she was standing in front of him, having shown him that she loved him after having said yes to his proposal and now wearing this expensive custom crafted snowflake ring –

She was waiting patiently.

He would not let her wait anymore.

Cupping her cheeks, with all of the passion and devotion they had for one another, for every word left unspoken between them, she clutched the front of his coat while he did not hesitate for another second.

He crushed their lips together.

Chapter 20: Just a delicate kiss, anyone could've missed

Summary:

Wasn't Expecting That - Jamie Lawson

A kiss may symbolize more than words ever could with a human that's never dared to touch another -

Even though three words are all one needs to say...is it necessary when everything unspoken's lying in the air between them?

Notes:

Happy new year, everyone! :)

I've been trying to get this chapter out last year, and I'm sorry it didn't work out. I've gotten sick now, so writing is super exhausting, but I've got it done now, and I really hope you'll like this wonderful New year's present of pure and wonderful romance.
I hope you'll all have a wonderful and nice 2019! :)

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Momo's heart felt like it could combust in her chest.

Maybe her subconscious had known what he was going to do. After all the time she'd been craving contact, she'd get to know now.

What it was like to kiss the boy she loved.

She only wanted to express a little bit of the love she felt when she pecked the corner of his mouth, not even really touching him, as she never could have known what repercussions it would have.

His lips were warm, softer than she would've expected when his hands were this rough and calloused from the regular use of fire and ice – and…she couldn't get enough of this.

This feeling was everything she needed, everything she ever wanted and so much more.

Yes, they were clumsy, totally, bumping their teeth together as it became obvious that it'd been both of their first kisses, but she didn't mind, not at all. It didn't make the beating of her heart, the thrill and blur her mind was in even a tiny bit clearer, keeping her mind completely in awe at the unusual feeling.

When they slowly pulled away, she noticed how ragged her breathing had gotten and just how disheveled he looked in front of her, a deep blush visible even though the orange lights around them didn't make the discovery easy – she guessed she looked the same, and she didn't care, taking in the way his eyes looked hazy, clouded over when they locked with hers.

She didn't even blink once as she crossed the distance between them again, burying her fingers in his hair as she could feel his hands clumsily wander downwards until he could wrap them around her waist.

There were no words to describe what she felt, there were no words which could even closely describe how she got warm, how she felt herself go slack completely, not restraining once she'd gotten a green light as his lips moved against hers, their noses brushing gently.

She had no idea how much time had passed until they'd reluctantly let go, resting their foreheads against each other. Looking into his eyes, she realized how soft and warm they looked, nothing of his usual stoic and bored look visible. Well…It might've been weird if he was bored after their first kiss. Biting her lower lip, she gently caressed his scalp, smiling at him like he was everything she ever needed.

Which was true.

He huffed, pulling away a little to bury his face in her neck, pulling her towards him closely.

"I…" he started, breaking the silence, "I can't believe this is happening."

Normally, she would've told him everything she could to make him believe in it. But…it was difficult when…

"I can't either," she replied, her voice nothing more than a little breath of air as she kissed the back of his hair, adjusting her hold on the back of his head, "This…was our first kiss."

He nodded into her shoulder.

"Was it…" he started, voice muffled in her shoulder, yet she'd already figured out how to understand him, the motion long used to her, "…okay?"

"It was incredible, Shouto," she whispered.

You were incredible, she thought.

And she loved him, she loved him so, so much and she couldn't believe he'd asked her to marry him even though the contract was long signed, that she felt the tears run down her cheeks.

She felt how she started to shake when she moved her hand around so she could look at the ring on her finger.

The most beautiful ring she'd ever seen.

Delicate and silver with a snowflake made out of the most beautiful gemstones. Or…diamonds? But no way, he'd never buy something that expensive, especially for something that would only be used for such a short amount of time. Right?

A sob escaped her as she held on to him for dear life, fearing this was all a dream. He'd progressed so much, he'd overcome another huge, huge part of his fear with kissing her.

"Are you…crying?" he asked quietly, pulling away to look at her. She could see the shock in his eyes.

Oh, screw it.

She pulled him towards her again, gently, slowly retaking his lips as she let her hands rest in his hair. He moved against her, and they took a while to find a rhythm, now that they'd calmed down a tiny bit.

It felt even more emotional while it pushed all air out of her lungs, leaving her breathless when they let go.

He looked sad as he gently put his hands on her cheeks, wiping away the tears that were still flowing.

"Are you…" his eyes looked hooded when he held eye contact, "… sad?"

"No," she whispered, "I'm happy."

And I love you, she thought to herself.

She didn't dare say those three little words.

When he smiled she felt like the world stopped. But that wasn't possible.

Because her world were the heterochromatic eyes in front of her; her world was as blue as the endless ocean, yet as grey as the coldest stones.

Her world was the boy in front of her, and only him.

"Are you happy?" she asked him, stroking through his soft hair.

He nodded slowly, moving the hands that were wrapped around her waist to her hips, before he suddenly let go of her, taking a step back. "I… I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to..." she realized how he was blushing, "Was that… too much?"

She huffed before she started chuckling.

"It's fine, Shouto," she whispered, "You can set the pace."

It only took her a moment before she started to blush again, yet…she took his hands and gently put them back on her hips.

He nodded after a moment of deep thought.

"Can I…" he started, "Can I kiss you again?"

"Yes," she answered breathlessly.

Slowly, like he was treasuring every inch he was coming closer to her, he connected his lips to hers.

"You can kiss me all you want," she whispered after they'd let go, cupping his cheek to feel his soft skin, even though it was slightly cold.

"You," he said quietly, "You can kiss me as well."

"Did you like it?" she asked carefully to see him averting his gaze, staring somewhere to his far right into the blackness of the ocean waves crushing against the wooden pier under their feet.

He nodded lightly, "Yeah."

He definitely didn't despise the contact then. Allowing her this breach of intimacy…was such a big step. And she had no objections, none at all.

Even though she had been content, even though she had been happy with the way it was before…With the knowledge, the memory of how it felt like to kiss him-

She would've never known what they'd missed.

It was only when she felt a strong wind here at the oceanside that she realized how incredibly cold it actually was. Looking to her left, she realized something else. Something so ironic, yet so beautiful.

"It's snowing," she whispered. He followed her gaze to stare at the ocean as well.

"It is," he replied, "I didn't notice."

Well, she didn't either, as they had been quite occupied.

Letting go of the embrace, she interlaced her right hand with his left as they looked out to the endless sea, as there was no horizon where the water melted with the sky.

Reluctantly, she looked at the clock on her phone. Gasping, she realized how much time had passed. "Shouto?" she started, looking at the boy to her right who quickly looked at her as if he'd been in thought. "Yeah?" he replied a little hesitantly.

"It's…It's already after midnight."

"Oh," was his only reaction as he stared out onto the ocean again, squeezing her hand, "Should I…escort you home?"

He'd used the words she had chosen that day they'd went to Ennichi. When he'd guided her home, made sure she arrived safely. Where he'd fallen asleep on the bus, giving her the possibility to analyze every feature she could find. And it was the night her parents had told her of the engagement, where the only thing on her mind had been red and white-

And now that she looked at him, she realized that the reason therefore had been obvious all along.

She had already fallen for him back then, being afraid of never getting a chance of trying anything with the mysterious boy next to her in class. Now…all that didn't matter anymore, the worry completely dissipating from her mind while she looked at the ring on her finger. It was beautiful, and she had no idea how to process all of this – All she knew was that she was his, completely and without regret, no matter how dumb it was. No matter how fragile their house of cards was or how her nightmares seemed to be repeating and repeating again over the last half of the year.

"No," she whispered, and he looked at her, his eyes widened a little, before he furrowed his eyebrows, seemingly wanting to pull away, "I don't want to go. I want to stay with you."

"What…" he looked away, "What do you…mean?"

"I just…want to spend more time with you," she told him, her voice almost as quiet as the soft breeze flittering around them, while she lifted their intertwined hands to show him the ring on her finger, "When I wake up tomorrow…I need to know this is real."

"I…" he started, looking at her hesitantly, analyzing her features as he took his hand out of hers to put them on the sides of her face again, looking directly into her eyes.

She wasn't joking. This was almost too beautiful for it to be true. She needed to feel him, needed to feel the warmth radiating from him in this cold December night before she got cold.

"What about a change of clothes?" he asked quietly, "Or toiletries?"

"I can create them," she whispered, uncaring about the economy for once.

"I could ask Fuyumi," he then mumbled to himself, making her grin.

"You could," she replied, wrapping her arms around his waist, relishing in the feeling, in the knowledge, that she was able to hold him like this without scaring him. All it demonstrated was how much she loved him.

"Okay," he whispered breathily before pecking her lips quickly, just to have her stare at him blankly as her brain seemed to leave her body, "Let me…Let me stall my sister."

Fishing the phone out of his coat's pocket, he quickly swiped around until he'd found his sister's contact.

"Are you…" he asked, "Are you sure that I shouldn't bring you home?"

"Shouto," she shook her head, "I'm very sure that I…that I-"

Like a train, the realization hit her, pushing all air out of her lungs and letting her brain return to it's mush state. She'd…actually asked to sleep at his place, with him- Well, not in that way, but next to him while she imagined the way they'd cuddle underneath the blanket, exchanging the most timid…kisses. Because that was a part of their relationship now.

She couldn't believe this, not at all.

"I'm very sure that I'd love to stay at your place," she whispered, adding a solemn "With you," to get her point across. When he just looked at her, letting go of a long breath, she pecked his cheek, grinning like she was the happiest human being on this planet – and it was true.

Nothing in this world could stop her from looking at him like this. Nothing would ever stop her racing heart while she took in the way his eyes reflected in the flames, making them look even warmer than before, and while she should be cold, actually, there was no way with the way his smile warmed her heart.

She'd known from the start that this smile made every wonder in this world possible. Right now it only intensified the butterflies wrecking havoc in her belly.

He pressed call without her realizing it, but it didn't matter, not at all.

As long as she got the chance to wrap him in her arms again, nothing mattered.

"I'll tell my mom," she mouthed quietly and he nodded at her.

Momo didn't care what her parents thought. Not, when something this important was happening right in front of her. Maybe, maybe that was a bad influence to the manners she'd spent years memorizing and acting on. Maybe people thought it was wrong because they weren't married yet.

Even if it was wrong…it was the most wonderful thing she ever did.

"Do I want to know…" Fuyumi started when they entered the Todoroki estate, hair tied up in a bun while she was wearing bright blue pajamas, "Why you kids suddenly decided to have a sleepover?"

Momo was taking off her black leather shoes to free her freezing feet, pondering an answer to his sister's question.

She had to admit she hadn't thought that far.

Which was quite embarrassing considering she was supposed to be 'the smart one'.

Was it okay to tell her about that? About the fact that he proposed to her?

And that they'd kissed each other? Many many times?

There was no answer necessary.

"Wait, Momo, is that a ring?" the smart elementary school teacher asked, and Momo looked up to see her widened eyes.

An awkward smile found the way to her face.

"Shouto, did you gift her a ring?" Fuyumi then asked her little brother instead who just shrugged while untying his shoelaces.

"I did," he replied, pulling off his shoes and looking at the two women in front of him, "I proposed to her."

"You-" Shouto's sister started nervously, her voice rising in pitch, "You proposed? But- Well-" clearing her voice, she grimaced while trying to smile, "I'm not letting you sleep in one bed."

Momo felt the warmth return to her cheeks.

Taking the hand of the boy next to her, she looked at his sister. Even though she was blushing, she tried her best to look determined.

There's something she really had to say.

"I still…" she started, getting the attention of both Todoroki siblings, "I still feel like this is one giant dream. I mean… How high is the possibility for all of this?" she whispered, looking to the ground, "I always fear that I'll wake up one day to realize nothing of this is real, " she could feel a hand squeezing hers, so she looked up to see Shouto nodding at her.

"So," she swallowed, knowing the red tint on her cheeks was not imagination, "I just want to wake up next to him, to feel, to see that-" looking at the older Todoroki, she felt incredibly nervous. What… what if she didn't allow it?

Momo would not be ready for that. She just…she just wanted to…

"I just want to wake up next to him, having an arm wrapped around him to keep him by my side because I can't stop feeling that the time we have is limited and of course that's nonsense, we're getting married soon but… but I can't shake that feeling off, not when I'm alone… so…" Momo looked at the boy next to her when he squeezed her hand tightly, "I want to feel him, in my arms, or in his arms, I don't care, I just want to be near him… and… after the progress we made tonight, I…I want to kiss him goodnight, be woken up by a comfortable warmth next to me or the faint smell of ashes on his skin in the morning – I want it all, everything he wants to give, because certainly…" she looked to his sister again, taking a deep breath while trying to keep her mind composed enough for her words to make sense, "… I want to give him my everything as well."

Fuyumi swallowed audibly, pushing her glasses back to look at the two teenagers in front of her.

"You...won't do anything you're not ready to take responsibility for?" the white haired woman asked, looking back and forth between them.

Momo looked at Shouto, who was still firmly holding her hand in his bigger, warmer and more calloused and rough hand, and it felt like everything she'd ever need, yet she tried to analyze his facial expression.

There was a slight blush on his cheeks which seemed so much redder in the dim lighting of the hallway.

That's when Momo realized what else her words implied.

Oh god.

"W-Well, yes, of course," she quickly paddled back, "No reproductive activities yet."

Oh god.

The blood rushing to her face almost made her fan herself, yet she did well in holding back when Fuyumi started chuckling.

Momo looked at Shouto again to see him staring at the wall deadpan.

So he was embarrassed as well.

"Momo," Fuyumi said, getting the attention of the raven haired girl quickly, "Did he really propose to you? Did you two really kiss?" she said with a voice so hopeful, yet so sad at the same time that Momo couldn't do anything else than nod.

Turning her head towards the younger Todoroki, she realized he'd started looking at her as well.

She felt the sudden need to demonstrate it.

But no, they weren't alone, so why would she do that? Her parents always said that kissing someone else was a private matter, kept to one's own chamber –

Yet, they certainly didn't calculate in that Momo was a dumb, irrational teenager in love, standing right in front of the source of her affections, holding his hand while dual colored eyes looked at her, with a silence surrounding them like it waited for something to happen.

Quickly, as if no one would notice if she did it fast enough, she pecked his lips.

She couldn't believe this was real.

Fuyumi giggled quietly, making both teenagers look at her, "You two are too pure for this world."

Shaking her head, the white haired woman took a step forward to wrap both of them in a hug.

"I'm so proud of you," Shouto's sister whispered, slowly pulling away, only for Momo to realize that the woman looked at them teary-eyed with a bright smile on her lips, "Remember that."

Nodding, Momo smiled at the woman in front of her before she turned around to Shouto to realize he was slightly smiling as well, deep in thought.

"Momo, come, I'll get you some pajamas and we've certainly got some unopened toothbrushes somewhere," the woman explained, smile reaching her eyes in a second, even though it still looked nervous. The older Todoroki turned around and started to walk down the hallway, leaving Momo to look after her dumbstruck.

"Was that a…yes?" Shouto asked quietly, letting his sister look at them over her shoulder again.

"Yes, Shouto, that was a yes," Fuyumi replied, looking at the raven haired girl patiently.

"Oh, right, I'm here," Momo replied quickly, letting go of Shouto's hand after pressing another peck on his cheek.

Shouto had been staring at the ceiling way too long before he slowly started to understand what had happened tonight.

He'd been out on a date with Momo for Christmas Eve, given her the ring with his proposal – which she accepted.

She'd even planted a kiss on his cheek, and he…hell, he'd kissed her.

He had kissed her even though he wasn't even able to hold a nice woman's hands half a year ago, and it had been nice. No, it had been more than nice. Her lips had been soft, her hands in his hair showing him so much affection he'd certainly have broken down if it was anyone but Momo doing it. Why…Why had he been scared in the first place? Kissing someone…was a wonderful feeling, yes, confusing, of course, but it made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, turning his brain into mush when the only thing he could concentrate on was the girl in front of him – and she didn't seem to hate his clumsy attempts of trying to figure out how this works either. It's not like they had anything to compare it to, but it was so mind-blowing he had no doubt that it wasn't bad.

Officially, now, he wanted to kiss her again and again, and at every chance he got, and he wasn't sure what to feel about that.

Especially, since they were now at his home, about to sleep on his futon on the floor, and…no, he wasn't scared. They'd slept in the same bed before, even if there had been a comforter between them back then. But…would it make a difference…to feel her body next to his? More than just the timid heat he felt through the comforter?

Maybe his mind was still mush as she'd kissed him again before disappearing with his sister, but he wasn't objecting the trial to find out. He wanted to know.

Putting two fingers on his lips, he traced the tingling sensation hers had left behind in his mind. Again, he realized that funny warmth in his belly while he felt all nervous but in a good way.

This was what it felt like to kiss someone.

This was…what it was like…to love.

He'd already known he loved her, known it from the day after they'd met as fiancées, and if that was how his body would always feel like when they kissed…what else was out there waiting for him to find out?

Ugh, he really wanted to kiss her again.

A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts as he was staring at the ceiling, trying to stop the blood from rushing to his face at the thought of having Momo sleep next to him.

"Yeah?" he asked quietly, sitting up to face the door while it was slid open carefully until he could see a familiar head of ebony hair.

"Can I come in?" Momo asked carefully and he nodded at her, "It's already super late, isn't it?"

Furrowing his eyebrows, he tried to think of what she meant, before he realized the soft blush on her cheeks. Stepping into the room, she closed the door behind herself, leaning on it lightly as she watched him, hands flat on the wall.

She was wearing white button down pajamas he'd seen on his sister before, matching bottoms as well, making the redness on her cheeks even more apparent.

She was cute, she was beautiful and she was the most gorgeous human being he could've ever imagined.

He let go of a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

Getting up a little wobbly, one of his feet having fallen asleep again as he walked up to her, he came to a stop right in front of her. Stroking a strand of her incredibly soft ebony locks behind her ear, he leaned forward slowly, giving her the opportunity to push him away, yet she crossed the distance herself, gently pressing her lips on his.

The innocent touch quickly turned into a relentless and passionate rhythm that Shouto could do nothing more but take and follow. It didn't matter, he supposed, as she didn't seem to be annoyed at his lack of dominance. He faintly smelled and tasted mint – and he supposed that was normal after they'd both brushed their teeth.

He could feel her arms snake around his middle, pulling him towards her so their bodies were flush to each other, and he pulled away a little bit to look at her, the tint on her cheeks becoming even more prominent.

He gulped audibly.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, looking into onyx eyes to find an answer to what he should do or say, "No, so much more than beautiful," he shook his head before he started analyzing her facial expression. Her lips were pulled into a tight line as she quickly looked back and forth between his eyes and lips and he realized he had no idea what she was thinking about.

"Shouto?" she whispered breathlessly and he could feel one of her hands snaking up his back, gently stroking it as she smiled at him timidly.

"Hm?" he replied, still lost in the way her affection turned him into mush as he could think of nothing else but them, together, right here, right now.

"I…" she started, looking away bashfully for a moment as if she were gathering her thoughts, before looking at him again, "I'd like to try something with you. Is that…okay?"

Nodding, he pecked her lips again, still getting lost in how soft and warm she was.

Suddenly, she started chuckling quietly and he looked up at her, realizing how warm and affectionate her eyes looked while she smiled at him.

"We're engaged," she whispered, then, taking the hand that was not resting on his back to stroke a few hairs behind his ear, laying open his scar all the way and he suddenly realized how vulnerable he felt, all out like this, "I can't believe it. So much…We've changed so much over the time we've known each other – and even though people say that it's not good if one of the people in the relationship changes, I can't help but realize how perfect this is."

"Re…Relationship?" he wondered. Yeah, he knew they were engaged and all…but the last time they'd talked about anything like that…they'd decided to be friends…and never talked about it again – Even though it was obvious. He wasn't feeling like this around any of his friends, and he'd never feel the urge to kiss them either. This was love, he was sure of that. He loved her so much, yet he couldn't…he just couldn't be presumptuous and act like they were together like a regular couple. They were so much more than that, and he didn't have any words to describe it.

"Yes," she nodded, tracing the outline of his scar starting from his ear, analyzing the way soft skin met wrinkled and burned flesh while the touch on his face was as light as a feather, "You proposed to me, Shouto. I…" she suddenly blinked, her blush getting even more intense, "I'm taking that for that you want this to be more than 'friends' as well, don't you?"

She'd kissed him. She'd shown him she loved him – well, at least if his sister was right – yet the only words resonating in his ears were as well.

She wanted this to be more than just friends. He knew he smiled like an idiot the moment she gasped and smiled at him as well.

"Yeah," he whispered, "I do."

It was the truth.

He'd always wanted to know what it was like to love.

And he never had a reference to what it was, or how it felt, or how he was supposed to act, but there was no doubt in his mind that he loved her with every freaking fiber of his being.

She'd accepted the contract even after knowing it was him. She'd accepted his proposal tonight.

She'd kissed him in the dark under the hut on the icy beach in a cold December night, so…

Somehow, and he wasn't sure how, he was optimistic for once.

He couldn't shake the feeling off that she loved him as well, somehow, even though it didn't make sense in his mind. Nothing really made sense in his mind, for that matter.

"I do too," she replied, ruffling his hair so it was falling into his face again, "And you're beautiful too, Shouto."

He huffed, furrowing his eyebrows.

The hand stroking his back halted in its movements, making him look at her again.

"Let's lay down," she asked quietly and he nodded, biting his lower lip as he pulled away from her, walking over to the futon on the floor, pulling back the blanket.

"Do you…" he started, looking at the floor while he could hear quiet steps on the tatami mats as she walked over to him, kneeling to his right, "Do you want to sleep under the blanket with me?"

Then he realized what he just said, looking up to her, knowing that his face must match his red hair by now. "I…I meant…"

"I know," she quickly righted cupping his cheek while just staring into his eyes, hypnotizing him, "I know what you meant, don't worry. I'm…I'm not ready for that either."

He nodded. That was good. Well, not exactly good, but…you know. It was great they were on the same wavelength.

"Yes, I want to," she whispered and he looked at her again.

Time seemed to stand still as her breathing hitched. He blinked slowly, trying to understand how everything changed like this all of a sudden. There were so many unspoken things between them, the air full of unspoken promises, unspoken admiration, respect and…love.

He crossed the distance between them as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him towards her tightly until he was flush against her as she let herself fall back onto the futon, his fumbling hands only managing to prop himself up enough to not crush her as he relished in the feeling of her so close to him.

She was so close, she was so…real.

His brain stopped working when he felt her tongue against his lips, pulling away quickly to understand what was happening as he realized how she turned away her head bashfully, the blush on her cheeks only gaining in color.

"What…?"

"Don't ask," she whispered, putting her hands on her face to hide it, "I wanted to try something but it's awkward and you don't seem to like it so…"

He propped himself up, realizing how he was straddling one of her legs and apologetically smiled at her while pulling the hands away from her face.

"Momo," he whispered before she stopped resisting, letting him take a look at her face again, "I've got no idea of this stuff, you know that."

She looked to her right, her face grimacing a little while her eyes stared into nothing.

"So…you want to try again?" she asked carefully before locking eyes with him.

"Yeah," he whispered, pecking the corner of her mouth, "I trust you."

Her eyes widened as her arms around his neck tightened, "Okay," she answered quietly, biting her lower lip before letting go and pulling him towards her, pressing her lips on his gently, quickly getting more and more passionate. Hands buried in his hair, she started caressing his scalp while he could feel her tongue gently nip his lips, so he opened them a little bit, surprised at the feeling when she touched his tongue with hers.

He left her in control as they awkwardly attempted to make sense of this, slowly, very carefully falling into a rhythm with the other.

Catching their breaths, they let go, just staring into each other's eyes.

He stroked her disheveled hair behind her ear before slowly pulling away from her, feeling warm and tingly all over.

Onyx met aqua and stone.

So many thoughts and yet none at all went through his mind as all he could do was lose himself in the eternal darkness of her eyes.

Those dark, wonderful eyes that showed him so much warmth and admiration that his heart could jump out of his chest the longer he looked at her.

Slowly, he understood.

He wasn't nothing, she had said.

And at that moment, even though he'd thought he was empty, she showed him what it meant to be complete.

She was everything. He loved her, oh he loved her so deeply he could cry while looking into her eyes knowing that this woman was his. As well as he was hers.

Together, they were complete, they were perfect, this was perfect – and nothing would ever change his mind about that.

She was everything.

And he'd be nothing without her.

Notes:

Like always, feel free to yell at me here in the comments or on tumblr~ You can always ask me questions, and someone finally figured out a tiny little bit of the dreams! :D
I hope you liked the chapter, it was mainly fluff with only a tiny bit of seriousness and a hint of steamy buns - but those kids are too pure, so.

They finally spoke out aloud that 'friends' from back then definitely didn't fit their description at all.

It was very...interesting...to write kisses this cute and innocent but still so passionate because that's what those kids are.
And they're growing up so freakin fast. *sniffs because of a cold and underlying crying*

Also, keep in mind how Shouto's thinking changes when you try and interpret the dreams! :)

Prepare for some family meetings in the next chapter! :D (whenever I'll get enough brain power to figure it out)

Have a wonderful day and feel free to tell me what you think!

Chapter 21: What did I get right to deserve somebody like you?

Summary:

Wasn't Expecting That - Jamie Lawson

Apologies and meetings in a world covered by dreams -

The fear of doing something wrong might keep two hearts from their honesty. Three words are better left unspoken...yet, will the quiet lead to regret?

Notes:

Heyy everyone, I finally finished the next chapter! :D

I'm very very happy and excited by the resonance I got for the last few chapters, I don't even know what I'm supposed to say except: Thank you so so much. This year is off to a great start and I'm mostly recovered now.

This chapter is another beast. Not as long as the Christmas special, but long.

Also, grab blankets, grab hot chocolate and get ready to analyze more dreams!
Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Blue flames lit up the black night when Momo opened her eyes.

Time seemed too fast for her to orientate herself. She blinked a few times to make sense of this, yet it all moved so fast she lost orientation.

It was like she was beamed through space as the sky quickly disappeared.

A scream.

Momo jolted, lifting her head to look around, panicky trying to find out where it came from.

Pale green tiles covered the walls, a sense of recognition running through her mind.

She tried to take a step forward, yet the world around her moved too fast and she got dizzy – Did she…did she really have to stand here and watch? But she couldn't see what was happening if she stood here.

Closing her eyes, she took a step forward. She didn't care about the dizziness, she couldn't care about the dizziness. Not when she heard screams, her usual dreams in mind.

Why… was this one so different?

Another scream, closer this time.

She stood still, hearing her boots come to a stop.

She opened her eyes.

The only thing she saw was blue, flickering blue as the tiles around her turned black with the scorch marks.
When she turned around to face the source of the fire, all edges turned blurry. There was a silhouette in front of her, bigger, scarier – blue.

Where was Shouto?

The silhouette took a step towards her.
Momo took a step back.

An obstacle stopped her way wall. She couldn't go back further. The flames came nearer, the silhouette gaining in detail.

This face, this grin, those scars – was that… was that?

Blue flames.

"He burned himself alive to meet my father's standards."

No. This wasn't possible – this… this wasn't…

Shouto's words kept ringing in her ears, she spun her head around to search for the other silhouette that was always in her dreams.

She was searching for Shouto.

This couldn't be true. Where was he? Why was he not here?

"False heroes don't deserve forgiveness," the blue flaming silhouette said and she turned around to see him way too close to her, "This world deserves to burn in my revenge."

W-What?

She had to ask. She had to know.

Yes, she was scared, but that didn't matter, not when she didn't know what's happening to the boy she loved.

"W-Where… Where is Shouto?" she whispered.

The grin of the almost completely clear human in front of her turned wider and wider before the fire consumed all detail.

Only one thing was left in her mind.

She'd seen that face before. Not personally. But… on that photograph after they'd rescued Bakugou.

Was this…

No.

Please, no.

"He burned himself alive to meet my father's standards."

Tears ran down her cheeks as she could do nothing more than witness how everything around her burned, the blue flames turning her vision whiter and whiter while she closed her eyes.

Please, let me wake up, she prayed.

This couldn't be true. This shouldn't be true.

This was terrible.

This was worse than anything she ever could've imagined.

She didn't want this to be true.

Was…Dabi Shouto's older brother?

"Please," she whispered, feeling how her tears wouldn't stop flowing, "Please, let me wake up. Please let me go back to him, please. This can't be true, it can't be true. Please, please, please-"

"Momo?"

She opened her eyes to the daylight flooding her eyesight, as she felt pressure on her cheeks, blinking again and again until the only thing left for her to see where aqua and stone looking down at her.

Quietly whimpering, she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him towards her, pressing his face into the crook of her neck.

This was it.

This was what she needed.

So many nightmares plagued her nights, the last full night of sleep a memory far away for her – but this, being able to see him right in front of her when she woke up, was everything she ever could've needed.

She knew her tears hadn't stopped in the least, steadily flowing over her cheeks while she held onto him.
Knowing he was alive was enough, knowing he was right there so much more than she ever thought she needed.

It couldn't be true. This was only a nightmare, nothing more. There was no way…there was just no way.
The weight of his words from the last evening only sank in now. His brother had burned himself to death because of Endeavor? Because he was pressured so much he tried to reach a goal he couldn't reach without getting his own life in danger?

Just…what…to which extent did the training go? What did they have to go through?

She only realized it now. She had no idea. The training had started incredibly early, Shouto had only been five years old, but…what did they have to do? What did they have to go through?

Feeling how he pulled away from her, she looked at him while he wiped the tears from her face.

"You're…crying," he remarked, laying his right hand on her cheeks, quickly cooling down the heat on her face from the exhaustion of crying first thing in the morning. "What…? Did I…?"

Momo didn't know what to say as she looked at him through her blurry eyes.

Shouto had had contact with the villain that had appeared in her dream. He surely would've recognized him, wouldn't he have? But…he'd been raised in isolation. He'd said he couldn't even remember him. So…But why? Why would Momo see that in one of her dreams? What did those dreams mean after all?

Just what…did those children have to go through?

"Can I…do anything?" he asked when she didn't answer, stroking hair out of her face. His eyes were widened slightly, he looked…scared, somehow. Of course, she must've scared him while waking up next to him crying – How was she supposed to tell him that she wasn't crying because of him when it was true? Somehow, in a twisted way?

"N-Nightmare," she whispered, sniffing while another sob rippled through her throat, "J-Just…"

There was nothing she could say to explain this, there was nothing she could do to make sense of this. How was he supposed to understand? And…if she was right…how was she supposed to tell him that the brother he believed was dead was out there and haunting people?

Why couldn't she stop crying?! She didn't want to cry, not while he was lying next to her, on top of her, whatever, wiping away her tears while also being the source of them because she was…because she was…
She was just so scared of losing him.

He was her power, he was the person keeping her afloat, believing in her when she couldn't. Protecting her from the traps her own mind set up for her – enabling her to fight, enabling her to win, he was doing everything he needed to do to keep her from sinking into the darkness that had been her mind before finals.

He made it possible she was still believing in her dream to become a hero, giving her the freedom to do as she wanted, giving her the right to choose what to do with her life even when they'd been bound by a contract.

Even if they were bound…she had never felt more free then she did when he was around her.
They protected each other, they admired each other, they respected each other, they…loved…each other.

She was so scared of believing that.

She wanted to say it. She wanted to say those three words, eight letters long – she just wanted to tell him, to show him how much she loved him, because it felt like time was running out and she couldn't believe this was real except when he was holding her-

"Just…" she whispered, voice hoarse from crying, "Hold me."

I'm falling apart without you, she thought, I'm going to fall apart if you let go of my hand.

He did.

Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her with him while rolling onto his side, facing her as she buried her face at his chest. She could feel a pressure on her head, knowing he'd tucked her under his chin.

"What did you say?" he whispered, "Listen to my heartbeat. Remember it when you feel all alone."

She nodded, doing as he said. Listening to the loud beating heart right in front of her, his strong hands on her back as he traced smooth circles on her pajama shirt. Slowly, she calmed down, losing herself in his touch and sound while this show of affection only made her heart burn more and more, letting her forget about the tears as she held onto him tightly, wanting to feel him close to her. Closer.

He was her tears, he was her joy.

He was her rain, he was her shelter.

And if everlasting rain in a stormy world was the price for this, the price for being held by him like this…

She'd pay it again and again.

He was scared, somehow. Of course that wasn't really surprising, considering he woke up to Momo crying next to him.

"Please," she whimpered, again and again, and he realized that she had a nightmare.

Shouto was never a stranger to nightmares as they'd been the only thing that'd always accompanied him ever since he'd lost his mother when he was little. They'd only started getting better once he'd started going to UA and even then there were times he slept terrible. It was different, though, when he wasn't alone. When they'd been at the summer camp he slept completely fine even though Kaminari and Bakugou had been lying partly on top of him to use him as a cooling unit. It had been fine, though, as the only thing he kept in mind was the fact that Momo sleeping next to him hadn't triggered him either, so he let them be. Of course that had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was too awkward to tell them off.

He'd never slept as well as he did that night at her house.

But this morning – the tears running down her cheeks were too much for him to handle. Just what did she dream about that let her break down without even waking up?

Now he had her wrapped in his arms, her hands bunching the material of his shirt in her fists as she cried quietly.
She'd asked him to hold her. Of course he did. She did the same for him whenever it was necessary, so why would he do it differently? He wanted her to be happy, after all.

He tucked her head under his chin, looking at the paper wall in front of him, listening to her slowly calming breaths while the shakiness dissipated. Slowly drawing patterns on her back, like he always did while hugging someone, the action stemming from his mother's comfort methods many years ago, he let go of a long breath.

"Thank you," she whispered breathlessly, burrowing her face in his chest while she let her hands wander around to wrap her arms around his torso.

"That's…" he started, stroking through her tangled hair, slowly pulling away to look at her face, "That's what I'm here for."

She chuckled quietly, lifting her head a little as well to look at him while he lost himself in her glassy eyes. Wiping away the last tears, she sniffed a last time before cupping his cheek to angle him towards her more. Slowly, carefully, she moved upwards a little, brushing her lips against his while the butterflies in his stomach started wrecking havoc again.

"What did I do…" her voice broke while she stroked over his cheek, the close inspection sending a chill down his spine, "What did I do to deserve you?"

He didn't know what to reply.

She must've committed a crime in her past life, he thought. But he couldn't say that, not at all. Because he loved her too much, and he knew it would only make her sad.

He didn't know what he had done to deserve her.

Instead of answering, he kissed her again, hoping that even if his words couldn't deliver his thoughts, his actions would.

When he pulled away, she just looked at him, a smile gracing her lips as she pushed his hair out of his face.

A knock on the door pulled them out of it as Momo pouted while looking at him, almost making him laugh. How could she go from scared to sad to freaking adorable in this short amount of time?

"Can I…come in?" Fuyumi asked through the door.

"Yeah," Shouto replied, lifting himself up on his elbow to look at his sister.

The white haired woman slid the door open hesitantly, smiling at them with a little huff, probably because they looked like they'd fought a war that night, all disheveled and entangled with each other. Momo rolled over, hiding her face in the pillow.

He understood. She still looked like she'd been crying.

"Breakfast is ready," Fuyumi explained with a timid smile on her lips, "We'll have to pick Natsuo up at the train station in two hours."

Shouto nodded, looking at the raven haired girl hiding next to him who lifted her head slightly to look at him, mouthing an 'okay' while smiling at him.

He smirked at her, noticing how she started to blush.

"We'll be right there," he said to his sister who tilted her head in question before her smile turned wide as well. She nodded at him before closing the door.

He listened to the footsteps quickly getting quieter, looking at the girl next to him who shyly looked up from where she'd burrowed her face in his pillow.

She was just too adorable.

Even though Shouto had tried telling himself that he was not nervous to meet his brother again… he was.

Totally.

"Are you okay?" Momo asked him, making him look towards her as they were sitting in the back of Fuyumi's car. She was sitting to his right, having put her hair up in its usual trademark ponytail. His sister had lend her a change of clothes, so she was wearing a blue pair of jeans with a white sweater under her coat.

Instinctively, he wanted to nod at her, making sure she wouldn't worry.

He shook his head.

"Do you want to take my hand?" she then asked quietly, holding out her left hand while smiling at him sadly.
She understood, he was sure of that.

He held onto her hand, realizing how his hand was shaking. Gently, she stroked the back of his palm, sending a different kind of shiver down his spine. Trying to smile, he realized how much of a failure that must've been as she huffes quietly, pulling her lips in a tight line.

"It's going to be alright," she tried, taking her second hand as well to hold onto his, "He's going to love you, I'm sure."
He did not know how it was possible for her to get what he was struggling with without him saying a word.

"How can you be sure?" he asked quietly, looking downwards to avert his gaze.

"I don't understand how anyone can not love you," she whispered, making him look at her again.
His eyes turned wide.

Because that implied… that she…loved him as well. At least a little.

His heart suddenly turned warm.

The shaking stopped.

He squeezed her hand gently, nodding slightly.

He didn't understand, not at all. But if that's what she said… it had to be the truth.

Because she knew him better than he knew himself.

Recognizing his brother after many, many years of being apart was a lot easier than Shouto would've thought. The white hair with soft red streaks was just too undoubtedly Todoroki that he couldn't not realize it's him on the spot.

Wearing a blue sweater, Todoroki Natsuo pulled a little black suitcase after himself, smiling awkwardly.

So that awkward smile was another trait they've all gotten somehow, Shouto realized.

"Hey, sis," Natsuo started, wrapping their older sister in a half hug, smiling at her while he obviously took in the way their sister smiled, "You look great!"

"Thank you, Natsu," the glasses wearing woman replied, nodding quickly, "You do too. How's your girlfriend?" the older woman smirked half-heartedly.

So…Natsuo had a girlfriend too? Okay, well, his relationship to Momo was a little more complex than 'girlfriend' but he guessed it'd be easier to introduce her as such.

"W-Well, she's great, thanks for asking," the white haired man replied, shaking his head before sighing, turning towards Shouto and Momo who was waiting a few steps behind by a huge pillar covered in light green tiles. Like everything else in this train station.

Without a word, the white haired man took a step towards the dual haired teen, coming to halt maybe an arm length before him.

Shouto had to look upwards a little, his brother being taller than him.

"Natsuo," the heterochromatic boy started, blinking a few times while taking in the facial features of the brother he'd last seen when they were children, realized how his jaw had turned sharper, reminding him a whole lot of his father. Shouto wasn't sure what to say. The nervousness had been better because Momo had taken his hand in the car, and now that he was standing in front of him…it all dissipated completely. There was still tension in the air and Shouto wasn't sure what to do about it.

"…Shouto," Natsuo replied, his voice cracking at the last syllable. Shouto blinked quickly furrowing his eyebrows, not understanding what his brother might've been thinking at the moment.

He saw how his older brother took a deep breath, looking over to Fuyumi for confirmation, who gently nodded.

Letting go of the deep breath he took, the white haired man stretched out his arms, a motion Shouto'd done very often in the last few months to get himself a hug from Momo or his sister.

Again, the heterochromatic teen blinked.

"Come on," Natsuo whispered, "Can I…Can I give my little brother a hug?"

So…He wanted to hug him after all?

Swallowing, Shouto turned around to look at Momo who was nodding exaggeratedly and mimicked for him to turn around again. He half smiled at her while nodding, turning towards his brother to hold out his arms awkwardly as well, not daring to make the first step while looking to the wall to his right.

The hug was quick, short, but it meant all the same. Shouto didn't react badly, not at all, even when Natsuo gently patted his back before pulling away.

"You've gotten tall, little bro," the white haired man said with a half smile to which Shouto could only nod.

"You've…gotten old," he replied deadpan, seeing how his sister face palmed out of the corner of his eye.

"God, Fuyumi said you're blunt, but I did not calculate that to happen," his brother laughed.

So he got his humour, at least kind of. It was true though. In comparison to the little white haired kid he remembered that was still a lot taller than their older brother and therefore also a lot taller than Shouto, he had still gotten incredibly old if he already went to college…somehow. At least that's what Shouto thought at that moment.

"And…who's that lovely girl?" his brother then asked, gesturing to Momo. Yeah, right, it was probably obvious now that she belonged to their group when he'd turned around to look at her for affirmation.

Shouto turned towards her, gesturing for her to come over. She nodded, grinning brightly, before she dimmed her smile to a polite smile to introduce herself probably.

"I'm Yaoyorozu Momo, nice to meet you, Todoroki," she said, bowing in front of her new acquaintance.

"Woah, woah, no need to be so formal. Call me Natsuo," his brother quickly said, grinning awkwardly while waving with his hands and shaking his head."

"Call me Momo, then," she answered, smiling at his brother before she turned towards Shouto who received a way, way brighter beam of a smile. Natsuo still smiled awkwardly.

There was an awkward silence in which Fuyumi took a step closer toward them as well.

"May I…" Natsuo then started, looking confused while scratching the back of his neck, "May I ask what kind of relationship…?"

"She's my girlfriend," Shouto answered deadpan.

The look of confusion turned unbelievable.

"Your…what?!"

Momo took a deep breath while she hopped up and down on her feet. They were standing at the welcome desk in the lobby of the hospital while Fuyumi went to sign them in.

Nervously, the raven haired girl looked at the boy next to him.

"Do you…Do you think she'll like me?" Momo blurted out. Shouto looked at her, blinking for a moment before he nodded.

"I'm not sure anyone could not like you, Momo."
She could feel the warmth rush to her face as she realized that he'd used her words against her. Like she'd done with his when they'd met each other officially for the first time.
Natsuo chuckled next to them.

"I agree with my brother there. If you managed to get through that icy Todoroki shell you can certainly get through to our mother," the white haired man smirked at them suggestively.

"Mom's going to love you right away, I'm sure of that," Fuyumi added once she'd joined them with the package of chocolate cookies she'd bought on the way here.

Momo wanted to cry at the sudden show of affection around her. She was so used to beating herself up, deeming herself worthless for so long that it almost seemed surreal to be so… so… appreciated by her fiancée's family. She choked on a breath she took in hastily when Shouto stepped closer to her, gently putting a steadying hand on her back. She locked eyes with him, taking another deep breath while she only concentrated on the connection he built with her, nodding when she'd charged enough strength to smile at him.

"Thank you," she mouthed quietly before he nodded and took his hand away, leaving behind a colder feeling than she would've thought it would.

"Let's go," she then said grinning excitedly, the nervousness masked, "I really want to meet your mother, Shouto."

"We'll go upstairs already, are you coming?" Fuyumi said while pointing towards the elevator.

"We're right there," Shouto answered, taking her hand and following his siblings into the elevator.

Standing in front of the door to Shouto's mother's hospital room only let Momo's nerves spike again. It wasn't even solely the fact that she wasn't sure if his mother was going to like her, but the general need to make a good impression let her hands shake. Fuyumi had already opened the door, going inside with a silent 'Good morning, mom,' closely followed by her white haired brother.

Momo felt as if her feet had grown to the floor. She wanted to take the step, she really did. She really wanted to meet his mother, but at that moment, in that second with all of her dreams in mind she only remembered one thing.
This was the woman that had poured boiling water over her son's face after being mentally and physically abused by her husband.

It's not… like she resented Todoroki Rei or anything… it was just… difficult to act like she didn't know what had been happening in this household.

Oh, who was she even kidding, she had no idea what was going on in this family.

She didn't want to know. She just wanted everything to stay how it was right now, but at the same time… she had to know. Of course she had to question it.

"Momo?" Shouto asked quietly, turning towards her from his location maybe half a step away from the door. The look in his eyes was questioning, before he furrowed his eyebrows.

Did he… read something in her eyes? Oh, her hands were shaking so much.
Maybe she should just… maybe she should just go.

A hand closed around hers, making her realize she'd spaced out for a second while she stared into heterochromatic eyes, full of warmth.

Shouto had said that he'd reconnected with his mother. He didn't harbour grudges against her.

Yes, Shouto loved his mother and she knew that, had found it out a long time ago when she'd asked him exactly that.

The one he harboured grudges for was his father, and Momo could only agree to that. If Shouto wasn't ready to forgive his father for the things he'd done, then she wasn't either.

So… if Shouto was able to forgive his mother… she should too.

Leaning forward she pressed a soft kiss on his left eye, right where the healthy skin turned scarred. She smiled at him when she pulled away, nodding while gently squeezing his hand.

He blinked a few times, confused by her change in demeanor before he nodded as well.

Taking a deep breath, she took the step forward to slide open the door, exhaling when she felt the heat radiating from him right behind her.

She wasn't alone. He was there. It was going to be fine.

"Hi, mom," he greeted the older woman inside.

"Good morning, Shouto," his mother said once she could see them entering the room, while she got up from her place on the chair next to her bed. The white haired soman wrapped her arms around him quickly, squeezing tight before letting go, turning towards the raven haired girl.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you, Yaoyorozu," Rei then told her quietly, a timid smile on her lips, "My son only says incredible things about you."

Her hair was as white as snow, her eyes as cold as stone, yet so filled with warmth and adoration that Momo slowly, slowly, started to understand where Shouto had gotten his smile from. She was beautiful.
No wonder all Todoroki children were this gorgeous.

Momo gulped at knowing that her children would have a chance at being this wonderful as well.

"I-It's a pleasure to meet you too, Todoroki," she then stammered out, grimacing at her nerves. Why was she like this?

"What…What did he say?" she asked lightly embarrassed, looking at Shouto for a second who was doing his best at concentrating on the wall.

Rei chuckled, getting all attention on her, Fuyumi and Natsuo standing behind her while the older sister made tea, before she extended her arms.

Momo quickly nodded, smiling as his mother gently wrapped her in a hug, placing her cold hands on her back.

She smelled like fresh flowers.

An irony Momo couldn't even describe when this wonderful flower was locked in here.

"You're…" Momo started, knowing she was blushing extremely, "You're beautiful."

Again, his mother chuckled, pulling away, her smile turning so wide it made her seem like a little child without any worries.

"You're one to talk, Yaoyorozu," the snow haired beauty replied, looking at her daughter behind her, "Would you mind leaving us three alone for a little bit?"

Momo looked at her fiancée as well, suddenly aware that she was still wearing the ring. How come Natsuo had even believed that they were boyfriend and girlfriend?

"Of course," Fuyumi smiled at her mother, taking his protesting brother by the hand to pull him out of the room, who was only whispering quiet 'we only just got here, though!'s.
When the door closed behind the two older Todoroki siblings, Momo turned towards his mother.

"Are you…" Rei started, nervously fidgeting with her fingers, before she wiped them on her light beige cotton pants, "Are you really the girl my son is engaged to by contract?"

Nodding hesitantly, Momo looked to her fiancée. "Yes," she then ensured the woman in front of her, "I am the engaged to your son through a contract that was made when we were still children."

His mother then looked up again and Momo saw the tears in the corners of her eyes. Disturbed, she quickly took the hand of the crying woman.

"Mom?" Shouto asked, but Rei only shook her head, pulling her eyebrows together before she looked at Momo, squeezing her hand slightly.

"I'm…" his mother started, "I'm so sorry I couldn't stop this before it happened. You don't," again, she shook her head, "You don't deserve this happening to you, both of you. I'm sorry you'll never get the chance to-"

"It's okay," Momo interrupted, realizing how the tears escaped the snow haired woman's eyes, "I promise it's okay."
His mother took in a quick breath, looking at her while blinking rapidly.

"W-What do you mean… it's okay?" Rei answered, looking at both of them again and again.

"Mom," Shouto started after Momo had given him a look out of the corner of her eye, "I… I told you about how… how we managed to get over the small things like… 'holding hands' and so on… didn't I?"
The white haired woman nodded carefully.

"It's okay," Momo explained, "because… because I like him. A lot," she could feel a blush finding its way onto her cheeks,

"He…"

Momo took a deep breath switching their intertwined hands around to showing his mother the ring on her finger.

"He gifted me this ring. Asking if I want to stay with him," she explained carefully, seeing how the eyes of the woman in front of her widened, "Do you…Do you know how I answered him?"

Rei stared the ring, taking her other hand to slowly trace the snowflake made of little crystals.

"A snowflake," his mother whispered breathlessly, looking into her son's eyes, almost communicating with him through their eyes alone.

Then she turned towards Momo again.

"How?" the white haired woman asked.

Momo smiled brightly, looking at her fiancée.

"I kissed his cheek, symbolizing my yes. And do you know how he reacted?"

Rei looked back and forth between them, the tears almost dried as her eyes widened in shock.

"He kissed me, he really did," Momo whispered while the white haired woman looked at the boy in front of her, slowly realizing what that meant, "He chose me, and I chose him."

"You… want to do this?" his mother whispered, starting to smile while both of them nodded.
Quickly, and without any thought to the terrible things that had led to them being in this twisted joke of fate, she wrapped them in her arms.

"I'm…" the white haired started, "I'm so sorry you got into that situation, but at the same time, I'm so so happy. Because…" Rei pulled away, looking at the raven haired girl, "I think there's no one that could've been better for my son than you, if what he told me is true."

"It is, mom, it is," Shouto replied, breathless as well.

Momo smiled, happy at his mother agreeing that she was a good match for him.
There was nothing more she could've wanted.

And even though, like always, it wasn't the usual way one met the parents of his boyfriend, or rather, betrothed, yet it was usual for them. It was more than she'd ever wanted.

Her heart was incredibly warm, as she slowly, slowly realized over the day that his mother was nothing like the hurt woman she'd expected her to be.

She was an icy flower, and even though she'd been melted by the flames of her husband, she could still blossom anew.

Momo was sure of that.

"Shouto," his mother said when they were about to leave, having spent all day with her as the sun was slowly setting behind the horizon. Natsuo and Fuyumi were discussing quietly next to them, having entered the room after their conversation.

"Mom?" he'd replied, while the Todoroki siblings switched their attention to their mother as well.
Momo smiled at the family in front of her.

"I… I might get released next year."

Another tearful hug pulled the family together.

And while Momo happily shed a tear, an arm was extended to her, a stone warm gaze smiling at her, pulling her into the hug.

She was now officially a member of the family.

"I…I'm glad you stayed," he said when they were walking towards the front door of the Yaoyorozu mansion, his hands burrowed in his pants' pockets, staring straight ahead.

He didn't want to look at her, knowing that they'd have to separate in a very, very short time. Why…was the time passing so fast when she was with him? Why was it like he could blink and the time they had together was over?

"Yes," she said, and he could almost hear the smile in her voice while he could feel how she hooked her arm through his angled elbow. Looking towards her, he saw how bright she smiled, her grin letting her eyes sparkle in the dim lighting of the lanterns on the little pathway towards the entrance. It had become dark a long time ago, the sun disappearing to make room for the solemn darkness of the moon. She looked incredibly beautiful, lighted like this, and he couldn't believe it even though they'd spent all day together. He smiled as well, slightly, as he didn't want to let go, "I am too," she whispered.

Why was saying goodbye this hard?

Way too fast, their little walk ended, leaving them to awkwardly stand in front of the door while she knocked, sighing deeply before turning towards him again.

"I wish…" she whispered, "I wish we had a little more time."

He nodded, feeling the same.

Should he…kiss her good night?

"We'll see each other in two days at school," he replied breathlessly, not really finding comfort in the thought.
She nodded, staring at him.

The door opened and he missed his chance, letting go of a deep breath as the maid he recognized opened the door, followed directly by her father.

"Didn't I say to bring her back by ten?" her father teased, pointing at his watch.

"You never…" Shouto cleared his voice, "You never specified the day."

The raven haired man only shook his head chuckling, looking at his daughter.
Shouto had no idea what he was supposed to do.

"Well," she started quietly, "I guess…that's a good night?"

"Yeah…" he replied, taking her hand and squeezing it tightly, "Good night, Yaoyorozu."

He was not using her first name in front of her father. He wouldn't be able to stand the teasing.

Slowly, and full of regret, he watched how Momo turned around and took a step forward, entering the house.

Sighing, Shouto closed his eyes for a second, turning around to leave as well.

"Shouto?" Momo then asked.

He spun around again, seeing how she'd stopped midway, the door still open.

"Yeah?"

Her footsteps were too quick for him to react as she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss. Relishing in the contact, he gently pressed his lips to hers, wrapping his arms around her waist.

She wouldn't let him waste his chances, he knew that.

Once they were out of breath, she pulled away for him to witness the beautiful blush on her cheeks.

"Good night, Shouto," she whispered while he stared into the onyx abyss of her eyes.

"Sleep well, Momo," he replied, breathing heavily as well, feeling how warmth spread over his cheeks.

He loved her so much. So, so much.

Yet…why was it so difficult to say out loud?

Maybe it was the feeling of being unable to know what love actually was…or being afraid of her not feeling the same.
He wanted to believe she did. But he wasn't sure, he never was.

Tucking a raven strand of hair behind her ear, he pecked her lips again, hoping the motion delivered what he was too scared to say out loud.

He could only hope she understood.

"Yaoyorozu Momo," her father said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Momo still stared at the closed door in front of her, her hand still on the handle from when she'd closed it. A long breath escaped her at the realization that she wouldn't see him when she turned around. That she wouldn't see him when she woke up in the morning. Her heart tightened in her chest.

Oh, she already missed him even though she'd only closed the door.

"Momo?" her father asked again when she didn't answer him. Slowly, she turned around, tucking the rebellious strand from before behind her ear again.

"Yes, dad?" she replied, realizing her voice was way too quiet while she faked a smile.

"Is everything alright?" her father's voice sounded incredibly worried.

What was she supposed to say?

What could she say?

Would he understand?

"Lady Yaoyorozu," Ari chimed in, gently laying a hand on her upper arm to lead her to one of the couches. Momo stumbled, feeling the hand steadying her firmly holding onto her until she was seated, "What happened?"

"Nothing," Momo quickly replied, shaking her head. They were worrying unnecessarily. She was fine, it would be okay, it was just that she… that she already missed him so much she could cry.

Biting her lower lip, Momo looked at the ring on her finger. Even if he wasn't there…she'd use it as leverage, keeping her together when everything wanted to tear her apart.

Letting go of a last shaky breath, she clenched her hand into a loose fist, holding it right above her heart.

She was holding the ring right above her heart.

"Momo?" her mother asked, entering the room as well, while Momo only really saw her out of the peripherals of her vision.

"Does it have something to do with the fact that you stayed at his house? Did something happen?" her father asked.

"No, god, no," Momo laughed, feeling a weight lifting from her shoulders. She smiled, she really did, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"What did you do… when you missed dad so much you wanted to cry?"

"Oh, little one," her mother whispered, wrapping her arms around her tightly, "What…what happened?"

"He proposed to me," she whispered, "He proposed to me and we kissed and I don't even know why those feelings are suddenly this strong, but I miss him already, I want to cuddle him, I want to kiss him again, I want to wake up in his arms and feel his heartbeat and I-" a sob interrupted her while she wrapped her arms around her mother as well, burying her face in her shoulder.

"Momo," her father said while her mother traced soothing circles on her back, "You…there's already a lot between you, isn't there?"

"Yes," Momo replied, muffled into her mother's shoulder before she lifted her head, pulling back quickly to take a deep breath. She wasn't crying. No, she wasn't crying, "I…I…"

She didn't know why she couldn't say those three words. They were obvious. Her feelings were obvious, her actions were obvious.

She was just obviously in love with him, yet she couldn't speak it out loud.
Because presuming that he was ready to be loved, presuming he was ready to accept her love in words, giving it a name, wasn't something she could do.

In her dreams, she held his hand.

In her dreams, she let it go.

And in her dreams, it all burned down.

If she dared, if she had the courage to say those words, she would accept that she was holding his hand.

She couldn't risk letting it go.

If only she knew she'd grabbed that hand the night they'd met in front of school…she could've had more time.
More time to love him before this storm swept them off their feet.

More time before it all turned to dust.

Notes:

If there's anyone here wondering "Sam, where did all my fluff go?!"...I dunno, but don't act like you're surprised xD This chapter is still super fluffy though, just a lot, a lot of foreshadowing in this one. In many many parts, so anyone who's got theories, tell me, tell me now! Because they'll slowly, slowly start to get uncovered after the next few chapters! I'll tell you again when it's time, though.

Also, I'm planning on actually getting a schedule into this story! I wanted to ask if you rather had the new chapter on Saturdays or Sundays. I know that's a lot slower than it was last year, but the Christmas time and special stressed me out a lot so I'm still super far behind and slow in writing at the moment, and I really don't want to mess this up, so once a week sounds like a very nice plan instead of every 4-5 days. Just tell me what you think! :)

Feel free to yell at me here or on tumblr, and also don't hesitate to say hi, ask questions or theorize with me!

Sorry for the super long endnote, I hope you'll have a wonderful day! :)

Chapter 22: I only dreamed that when I grow older, you'd be proud of me

Summary:

When We Were Younger - You Me at Six

A family unloving, a family broken by the past, with nothing but regret left while everything was changing, yet no one knew.

Notes:

Hello~ Here I am again with a new chapter! :D

New chapters will from now on be updated on Saturdays, and I really hope that's okay with you all.

Anyway! Stay for the end notes and I hope you'll enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

To say that Enji regretted a few of his life choices wouldn't ever be enough to express his inner workings.

He'd been angry, at first.

All his life he had been one step behind, the blonde hero always ahead of him. All Might had been recognized, seen as a hero with a gap to his following colleague so big it would never be crossed in his lifetime.

And who was Endeavor?

Number two. Always number two. The one left behind, the one not strong enough to catch up – but bright smiles and happy encounters and autographs for fans had never been his forte. He'd always been trying to become a great hero, saving the day.

But did anyone ever see he was exactly that?

They didn't.

It was always All Might, always the symbol of peace – and he was standing in the shadow of a man he slowly came to understand he'd never surpass in his lifetime.

He had been blind, he knew that now.

Never would he have considered that All Might had been hiding behind a façade as well.

He'd given his all, he'd given up every principle he may have believed in when he was young to step out of the shadow of a man that was only a shadow of himself.

He only…wanted to be praised, for once.

There had never even been a doubt in his mind that what he'd been doing was necessary.

Whatever he'd done to make his children the strongest and most successful heroes possible was supposed to be necessary to reach that one goal he'd strived for all his life.

Even when he wasn't able to reach that goal in his own lifetime, in his own career, he wanted them to have the possibility to surpass everything that ever came in their way.

Touya had been an accident, a pity, as he'd thought back then.

And Shouto was on the best way to become everything he'd ever wanted him to be – even if he might take another while to get his license, it would surely work out.

He'd raised him for exactly that, after all.

Those children, the ones that had potential, were supposed to be the perfect heroes.

He's always thought it was necessary.

He'd always thought it was best.

Now…

He wasn't so sure.

Silence filled the room.

It wasn't silent per se – yet no one was speaking. The only sound audible being the TV quietly broadcasting whatever drama was playing at the moment while no one really cared about that. Shouto was quietly slurping his noodles, watching his family at the dinner tonkatsu.

"It's…" Endeavor started, clearing his voice while laying down his chopsticks, "It's great to see you back, Natsuo."

Looking to his brother, Shouto saw how the white haired glared at their father, continuing to eat his noodles with trained disinterest at their father's amends.

"Natsuo!" Fuyumi interrupted the glaring, shaking her head at her brother's antics.

Blinking a few times, Shouto turned towards the TV more, continuing to chew on his noodles as the woman on the screen started crying, making him blink even more while his eyebrows furrowed. He didn't understand what the heck was going on but everyone was crying. He took the remote and switched channels, only partially registering how his sister tried to get their brother to talk. Now watching the news, he saw a man get arrested for theft. Swallowing his noodles, he nodded impassively.

He understood something, though. Now that she wasn't here anymore, he wasn't sure if all of this really happened or if it was just a very pretty dream. There was no way to know when she wasn't here. Yet, he knew it was really as he'd already texted her when he'd gotten home. She'd replied instantly, letting him know that she missed him.

It's not like he understood. It's not like he had any way to understand what this feeling was.

But he was pretty sure he missed her as well.

Almost smiling at the thought that he'd meet her again in a few days time, he took more noodles with his chopsticks to eat them quietly, unnoticed by the rest of his family.

Yes, he was still avoiding his father. There was nothing to say. Of course, there were many things that went on in Shouto's head, but it's not like Endeavor telling him he's worthless would change anything in that. It would only uncover the inevitable truth.

He didn't need to hear he was worthless when he knew it himself already.

Biting his lower lip, he tilted his head while he could almost hear Momo scolding him in the back of his mind.

It was difficult, to say the least. There were better days, there were worse days, and sometimes her words just couldn't get him to accept that he was more than he thought himself to be. Being with her helped, though. It let him forget.

When she hugged him, he couldn't feel lonely.

When he woke up in the middle of the night to see her peacefully sleeping in his arms, he couldn't feel important as she trusted him enough to lay next to him in her most vulnerable state.

And when she kissed him, he couldn't feel unloved.

That's just what it was, and there was no way for him to explain it. He guessed there was no handbook for 'love and its repercussions on isolated and distant minds'.

He'd texted her back already, of course, telling her to sleep well and…of course, that he missed her as well. Even if he wasn't sure if it was the truth, it was not a lie. He was not lying to her, ever. She'd just have to ask the right questions.

"Shouto?" his father then asked, making the dual haired boy stop mid motion. Shouto swallowed the rest of his noodles before reluctantly turning towards his father.

It could've been a fun evening if he'd just had some time to spend with his brother before he'd leave in the morning, but no, Endeavor was home for dinner, like his sister had said the day before.

"Yeah?" he replied, putting his bowl down while looking at the red haired man in front of him. His flames weren't turned on, which Shouto was thankful for, somehow.

His father's flaming beard reminded him of times he'd rather not recall.

"I heard you went out on Christmas Eve," the fire hero started, "With Yaoyorozu."

Waiting for a question that never came, Shouto blinked again.

"Yeah," he answered confused, looking around to see that Natsuo was tilting his head, furrowing his brows as well as Fuyumi smiled slightly at her soup bowl, only looking the tiniest bit crazy.

"How…How'd it go?" his father tried, furrowing his brows in contemplation.

"Great," Shouto replied, taking his soup bowl as well to continue eating his noodles.

When Endeavor sighed, all three siblings turned towards their father again. Fuyumi nervously looked around.

"I know the engagement wasn't your choice," the man started and Shouto could hear a wooden clang as if someone had dropped his chopsticks while the dual haired boy furrowed his eyebrows as well, "but the Yaoyorozu girl is a great match for our family. I'm sure you can reach a lot with her-"

"What?" Shouto replied deadpan, "I can reach a lot with her? What'd you mean? Kids? I'm not even sixteen."

"Engagement?" a quiet voice could be heard, letting Shouto look at his older brother again, "Engagement?!"

Swallowing audibly, the white haired man shook his head.

"Please, Fuyumi, tell me that I heard that wrong. She's only his girlfriend. They're not engaged, are they? They're not engaged because our…" he growled under his breath, "…of a father sold our little brother off?"

"Natsuo…" his sister tried, biting her lower lip while obviously contemplating what she could say to de-escalate the situation.

Chuckling nervously, Natsuo shook his head, "I can't believe this. Did you ever…" the white haired took a deep breath, "Did you ever even give him a choice in his life?"

Blinking, Shouto thought about it. No, he hadn't. When had he ever had a free choice in his life?

Had he ever not been caged?

The most 'free' decision he'd ever done was stop using his flames and that had only brought him scars. He'd even stopped doing that, though.

Mentally, he sighed. He'd always said he wanted to go his own way, but what did he manage to decide himself until now? He'd proposed to Momo again, but would he have if they weren't in that stupid joke of fate?

The answer was no, and it hurt him a lot to know it was the truth.

Nothing he ever did was because of himself. Nothing he ever did was different than the path his father had always laid out for him.

Maybe he was the same as his father.

His finger twitched.

No, he couldn't be. Because if he was the same as his father…it'd all…

"Natsuo, the deal was made when they were five, there was nothing-"

"Five? Freaking five years old? You sold my little brother off because of his quirk? Because of another girl's quirk? What even are you?" hastily, the white haired got up, "I just want you to think about one thing, father."

Shaking his head, his brother looked down at his father, his eyebrows still pulled together tightly.

"You've got enough examples of what happens to the people you cage. You drove mom to her breaking point. You even…for god's sake, you killed Touya. He just wanted to fit into that scheme you laid out and what happened? He burned like a freaking forest fire – if a forest fire was blue! I don't want to see this again. You're doing the same to him, can't you see that? What do you want? I thought you wanted the perfect quirk to follow your legacy, but now you're number one, so why the hell are you still doing it?" Natsuo shook his head violently, tears running down his cheeks as Shouto wordlessly observed.

Right, observed.

He felt like an observer in his own body, unable to say anything.

"Do you want to kill him, too?" Endeavor blinked at his son's words, looking at the table in front of him, "I only just really met him today, do you believe this? I'm studying medical welfare because I couldn't live with the screams from the other side of the house, even Fuyumi's a teacher because she wants to protect the children she never could! I only met my little baby brother after over ten years to find out he's already engaged even though he's not even sixteen!"

His brother stomped towards the door, leaning on the frame when he turned around again.

"Thanks for the food, sis," he said smiling slightly to Fuyumi, the happiness not reaching his eyes.

Fuyumi nodded while there were tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as well.

"Endeavor," Natsuo said determinedly, gripping the wooden doorframe until his knuckles turned white.

"What will you do when you burned it all down?"

The white haired didn't wait for an answer, shaking his head while leaving and pulling the door close behind him.

Yeah, that's what Shouto had thought.

If he wasn't nothing, he had to be someone.

Yet, he had no idea… who he was.

There was just one person he knew he'd never want to be.

Because, if he was like his father…

…he'd burn it all down.

And he was not ready for that.

"Todoroki!" Izuku shouted when he saw the dual haired boy in front of him. Uraraka was walking to his right, a slight jump in her walk as she waved at their friend as well.

"Midoriya," Todoroki answered after coming to a halt a few meters in front of them, turning around to acknowledge their presence with a nod, "Uraraka, too?"

The green haired could feel his cheeks heat up. Of course he'd point that out. Why was he even surprised? He chanced a glance at the brown haired next to him, taking in the way her grin made her eyes glow and he couldn't stop his heart from starting to beat at a rapid pace.

"Y-Yeah," he mumbled, trying his best not to sound extremely awkward, "We met at the bus station."

"Coincidence, then?" the icy fire hero-in-training replied when they'd caught up to him. They went on together.

Coincidence…was a little…stretched? But he couldn't just say that! After all…it would be super embarrassing for them to know that he didn't have the guts to-

"I texted him earlier!" Uraraka replied cheerfully.

-ask her out.

So that worked well. Obviously. Of course…why would she think that it's something like a date? They were only walking to school together, so there was no need to think of this like a date.

It was nice, though, definitely, to talk to her in the morning, making him feel all giddy before the day even really started.

He had to change topics, he realized while looking at the knowing smirk of the boy in front of him.

Izuku had to talk to Yaomomo for sure. It was unfair that she taught him how to read social clues.

It would not be good for his sanity to know that his bold friend could tell Uraraka that the green haired liked her at any given time.

Because even though the Todoroki knew how to read social clues – there was, in fact, no way he ever did what one would call 'being sensible' and not talking about topics that might embarrass his friends.

"W-Well," the green haired stuttered, "How was the date with Yaoyorozu?"

That might be a good change. It's not anything would've happened between them. She was definitely a great match for him, as they both had no problem with not showing too much physical affection. Even though he surely noted the glances she was giving him all the time and wherever they are, acting like a barrier when people dared to go too close to him. Izuku was very relieved to know that she knew about his fears and therefore boundaries.

"We kissed," his friend replied deadpan.

Izuku stopped in his tracks, only realizing how the girl next to him did as well while she let out a confused 'E-Eh?'

"You…You what?" the green haired asked.

Todoroki stopped walking as well, turning towards them again while tilting his head.

"Yeah," the dual haired said, blinking at them confusedly, "Is that so surprising?"

"Hold on, hold on!" Uraraka said, waving with her left hand while closing her eyes in a second, "So you went on that date on Christmas Eve with Yaomomo. And you kissed. On Christmas. Was there a mistletoe involved?"

Izuku noted the way the brown haired's gaze turned from shocked to cunning and investigating in a spare second.

Oh. He was pretty sure the rest of the girls were going to find out about it too. Now he was very very glad to not be the center of attention as he let his friends words come to mind again.

Todoroki had kissed Yaoyorozu? Even though he's afraid of intimacy? This…was going better than the green haired would've thought.

If he'd ever get the chance to kiss Uraraka?

Blushing nervously, he was even more glad that the brown haired had another task at hand than look at him.

"No, why?" Todoroki answered their friend.

If Izuku should tell him that he was slowly getting themselves in a situation where they were going to be the news of the century?

"No mistletoe? That's…" blinking rapidly, a bright smile found its was to Uraraka's face again, "Congratulations! So you're…together now?"

"Yeah," the dual haired replied, "You're not gonna harass Yaoyorozu about that, will you?"

The brown haired's face fell.

"I…would never!" Uraraka tried to defend herself, nervously looking around, "Okay, I would, maybe, possibly, but…I won't, I swear."

Ah, Izuku realized that Todoroki definitely had the friend-card to pull with her.

If she'd do the same for him?

But no, that would mean they're…only friends. And what…what if he wanted to be more than that? What was he supposed to do anyway? He was going to become the greatest hero, that was his main goal. There was no space for a relationship or crushes or anything – he should not be distracted by things like this.

"Good morning! If you don't hurry, you'll be late for the first lesson," Iida then interrupted the three of them, letting them turn around quickly to see him pass them by quickly, shoes crunching under the first snow.

"He's right," Todoroki noted, looking at his watch.

Well, if that wasn't an eventful morning, Izuku wasn't sure what else was.

Entering the classroom, Momo greeted her friends with a happy little smile, waving at them while walking over to her seat in the back to set her bag down.

On the way she greeted Iida and Midoriya who'd been standing at the letter's desk.

She looked around searching for a familiar head of red and white to see him sitting at his desk, concentrated on writing quickly. With his left hand he ruffled his hair.

"What's wrong?" she asked quietly while setting her bag down and taking out her notebook and pencil case.

"We had homework," he answered quickly, looking up to her apologetically.

"Yes," she answered confused before she understood, "You… didn't do it?"

"Forgot about it," he said quickly, turning the page around to continue writing at the highest speed she thought possible before she realized how terrible his handwriting had gotten with it, "Had other things in mind. Like Christmas presents."

She suddenly felt guilty even though she knew it was not her fault at all.

It was at that exact moment that Aizawa entered the room.

"How much do you have left?" she asked him quietly, already regretting her plans.

"Maybe a minute?" he asked, oblivious to the crime against herself she was about to commit.

But she wouldn't let him get caught!

She would tolerate it this once and make sure it never happens again. She'd reprimand him later for sure. But he was not supposed to learn his lesson with punishment like this! Not when he'd thought about… proposing to her.

"Did you see that?" Ashido whispered, hitting Ojirou next to her on the shoulder, "I wonder what they did after we lost them. You know, I would've had something to talk about if you just would've let me go after-"

"Sir Aizawa," she asked while she took a stand at her desk, "There was an arrest of a thief last night, wasn't there? Is it possible that he's the one you've told us about a few weeks ago?"

"That's…" the black haired man grumbled under his breath as he was just about to start the lesson while Kaminari whispered a quiet 'I knew it!'

"That observation is indeed correct, he's a villain that called himself the 'phan-thief' and yes, that's derived from phantom thief," Momo glanced to her right to see Shouto quickly closing his notebook and laying down his pen before he looked at her, blinking at her while furrowing his brows as he slowly seemed to understand, "he always bragged about being out of the houses before people knew what was stolen on his social media, so the police has known about him long before his arrest. He's the villain I used as an example last lesson, that's a good conclusion."

Again, their teacher grumbled under his breath, eyes still half asleep.

"Anyway. Does that answer your question?" he then asked and Momo nodded before taking place again and jotting the information down in her notebook.

It was only a few minutes later that a tiny piece of paper had found its way to her desk. Looking to her right, she noticed how he was deeply concentrated on taking notes, his eyes only leaving the blackboard to glance at her for a second, a tiny little half grin finding its way to his face before he went back to taking notes.

'Thanks', the note said, 'Won't happen again.'

Huffing a little laugh under her breath, she looked at him again before nodding determinedly. He had to understand she wouldn't ever do that again. They were trying to become heroes, and he'd made it possible for her to become one, so she wouldn't let him slack off in any way. Their eyes locked as she smiled timidly, getting him to nod in response.

A few minutes later, after she'd already forgotten about it all, being completely concentrated on their homeroom teacher, another note landed on her desk.

Pulling her lips to a tight line, she looked to her right again, this time about to scold him for not listening to their teacher, when she saw what he'd written down.

Her heart skipped a beat as she quickly closed the note again, putting it in the pocket of her jacket. She'd have to keep this one. It was too wonderful to be thrown away, especially if it's something he said, or wrote, or whatever. She realized he was not looking at her this time. But it wasn't necessary.

She was very sure he knew that this was something she needed to hear. That she was smiling at those four words like a lunatic because it's the one thing she'd struggled with for such a long time she wasn't sure what worth her own life held – that they were all she ever needed and he was the one person that she would completely trust.

'You are my hero.'

"Okay, there's no way around this, you know that, Yaomomo. What happened? What happened on Christmas Eve? You've left me on read until the next evening – so there definitely had to be something happening. What was it? What did you two do?" her purple haired friend asked when they were sitting underneath the big tree on school grounds.

Momo grinned like an idiot, eating her spagetthi while thinking about the answers to all those questions.

"Alright. I get it. He broke your brain, that's what happened, isn't it? Oi, Todoroki, why'd you break my best friend?" Jirou then added in her monologue while waving a hand in front of Momo's face, trying to get her attention.

"We…" Momo started, quietly, hoping that her answer would be less impactful if she just said it quietly enough, "We…kissed."

"You what?! Oh lord, please don't tell me you really had to use my tip about protection – okay no, I changed my mind, I don't want to hear about this at all," the purple haired replied wide eyed, shaking her head in decline. Jirou then chuckled quietly before smiling at the raven haired.

"I'm happy for you, Yaomomo," she said and Momo grinned even wider, letting go of a long breath, "I take it it's going well?"

"Yeah," Momo whispered, "It's going really, really well," she pulled out her necklace by the chain carefully, "You know…He gifted me this for Christmas."

Jirou blinked at nothing a few times as she seemed to realize what it meant that the raven haired was wearing a ring in the form of a snowflake, on a necklace next to another snowflake.

"He…proposed to you?" the purple haired whispered unbelieving.

"He did," Momo answered, smiling solemnly, "And then I slept at his place and I would've never thought it'd be this beautiful to wake up next to someone I love. I even met his mother and brother-"

"Wait. Hold on. You slept at his place?"

"Yes," she nodded while she could feel the warmth building up in her face, "But we didn't do anything, as you can imagine. At least…not a lot. Or maybe…not…too much."

"Okay, okay, stop, this is going too far, even Kaminari's got more self-control than you two-"

Momo smirked.

"Kaminari does, huh?"

"W-Wait, that's not what I-"

"So he asked you out? Finally?"

"I- This- Well," Jirou grumbled under her breath, fidgeting with her hands, "We- You know what, I refuse to answer this question."

"Hey, Yaoyorozu," a voice asked them, letting them turn around to the new arrival.

"Awase? How can we help you?" Momo asked quickly, smiling formally while sitting up from her slumped position underneath the tree.

The green eyed nervously scratched the back of his neck, looking from Momo to her friend and back again before letting go of a long breath.

"I…" he started, "I know this might be super awkward of me to ask, but…"

Had Momo known the consequences of such a little question, the result a tiny, innocent question would have, she would've just interrupted him.

Most important, though, Momo would've made sure that her fiancée knew how important he was to her, and how much she loved him, because she couldn't have guessed how much he was struggling.

She'd known it before, how lowly he thought of himself.

But if she'd known it was to that extent…

…she would've said it out loud.

He was hers, which was clear.

But she should've told him, should've said it out loud.

That she was his, and his alone.

Because she couldn't have known that he did not understand that.

"Would you maybe want to go out with me tonight?"

Notes:

Dam dam daaaam, another cliffhanger. And? Any predictions to what's gonna happen? (it's not dream relevant, I should say that much)
Those who follow me on tumblr might've already got a hint or two at that and what's gonna happen, but I'd still love to hear what you think! :)

The Todoroki family talk might've seemed a little shallow out of Todoroki's POV, yet there's a lot to read between the lines, especially with chapter 17&18 in mind.
And Endeavor POV. Yes, Endeavor POV...I hope I delivered him well. He's about as complicated as Dabi, so. Character development is a thing here. I want to portray it like the serious topic it is while still letting them stay in character...

Anyway! Stay tuned for the 'asking out' aftermath! :D

Fell free to yell at me in the comments and/or on tumblr! Have a wonderful day~

Chapter 23: But when I looked at (him) I thought of only you

Summary:

Crash - You Me at Six

Who's to blame when two hearts unable to express their love for each other lose theirselves in the snowfields their life had laid out for them?

A proposal leads to a talk-

And not holding on is worse than pushing someone away.

Mistakes and regret, confessions and a chance to make it better.

Notes:

He. Here I am with the new chapter-

I'm sorry, but I'm also not - just...you'll see.

Take your blankets, put on the song of the chapter that I'll actually post here for once - Crash by You Me at Six - and eat some cookies.

*hidden in a corner* Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"W-Well, you see, Awase, I don't think-" she started, waving her hands in front of her body in denial while shaking her head.

"It's okay," the back haired boy answered, smiling at her politely, "You don't have to answer me now. There's this new café that opened downtown. I'll be at the bus stop at six o'clock. It's fine if you don't show up," he explained.

Of course she wouldn't say yes. She was in a relationship already, so there was no way she'd betray the boy she loved like this. But before she could deny his request, the boy in front of her turned around, leaving the two girls alone again.

"That-" Momo started, still perplexed by the sudden date proposal, "That's-"

"The poor boy," Jirou started, shaking her head with wide eyes as well, "He never stood a chance."

"I can't believe this happened," she whispered, blinking rapidly.

W-Why- How did he get the idea to ask her out? They never even really interacted, except for their fight together after the league had attacked the training camp! He'd saved her back then after she'd hit her head, yet…was that reason enough to ask her out? Why would he be interested at all? She wasn't even that special – Or special at all. Neither was she pretty enough that people'd ask her out, even if her friends said differently.

At least that's what she'd always been thinking before Shouto came into her life to throw everything she was used to overboard.

She hadn't been confident, her self-esteem had been lower than she would've wanted it to be. But he'd given her the strength to see her good parts – and somehow, when he said he found her beautiful…there was no way she couldn't believe him.

Still – Why would Awase…ask her out?

"It was pretty obvious," her purple haired friend started, "I think he's been interested in you since the training camp."

Yes…that's what she thought as well.

"I should go after him to explain, I can't leave him in the belief he's going to get a chance," Momo then said thoughtfully, putting the tray with the half eaten spagetthi to the side so she could get up.

"Shouldn't you talk about it with your hubby first?" Jirou interrupted her, getting up as well.

"Why?" the raven haired girl asked questioningly, freezing in her tracks.

"Well…Wouldn't it be very weird if you go after another boy right now? That could lead to huge-ass drama, didn't you see movies?"

"I…I guess," she answered quietly.

Her heart tightened in her chest. W-Why? What was wrong with her? It couldn't be…that she was scared of telling him that?

She…had to explain the meaning of a friend to him.

There was no way for her to know how he'd react. What if he got angry?

No…there was no reason for him to be angry, she wouldn't say yes after all, but she couldn't help but worry about his reaction. Jirou was right, though. He had to know. She'd promised to be honest. They'd promised to be honest to each other. So, if there were other people that were interested in her, he needed to know that. He especially needed to know that there was no reason for him to worry, because she…loved him. And only him.

"You're right," she said determined, "I'll tell him right away-"

The clock sounding for their break to be other in five minutes interrupted her. Biting her lips, she looked at her purple haired friend.

Sighing, she realized there was no way she was able to find him in five minutes and explain the whole situation to him.

"It'll have to be enough later on," she then said, looking at her friend who nodded at her, gently putting hand on her shoulder.

"I believe in you," the purple haired answered, "You can solve this."

'Shouto,' the text message said, 'I'm sorry for running off like that."

Natsuo had texted him earlier today, Shouto realized.

Ruffling his hair, he sat down on the floor, contemplating what he was supposed to answer his brother. He thought he didn't mind. But he couldn't write it. Finally, after all those years, after all this time they finally met again, only for the meeting to be cut short. It's not that he thought it was his brother's fault. It was pretty obvious who'd messed this up, wasn't it?

'It's okay,' he typed, blinking at his phone before shaking his head and hitting send. That seemed so short though. Shouto wanted to try. He wanted to get to know this brother he'd never gotten the chance to grow up with. 'Want to talk?' he quickly added.

It only took him another split second to awkwardly type another 'maybe', then 'if you have time' before scratching the back of his head and staring at his phone while knowing he'd made it even more awkward. Sighing, he let himself fall back on the Tatami mats to stare at the ceiling.

He didn't know this ceiling as well as the one at home, so there were still new cracks he discovered after a while. Also…the time he spent staring at the ceiling had become a lot less while Momo did her best to include him without overwhelming him in the class activities. He was thankful for that, actually, because he himself wasn't too sure how to instigate most social interactions.

He'd come to a conclusion to his question when he'd looked at her during class today. A simple, wonderful conclusion that only let him feel even more fuzzy as his heart beat like crazy.

Yes, he'd missed her. A lot.

And he wanted to kiss her, yet he wasn't sure, now that they were…here, in a different situation. Even though they were the same people, the same couple when they were here in the dorms, he had no idea if she'd be too happy about the distraction. Or the act in itself. But she had given him no reason to believe that, kissing him goodbye in front of her father.

He wanted to tell her he loved her. He really did. Yet…Yet…If he didn't love her, if he didn't tell her he loved her…would they end up better than his parents did? His mother had said that his father hadn't been bad from the start. What if he was the same? What if he messed it all up, becoming like his father and hurting her? Caging her? Driving her to her breaking point like he'd done to his mother?

Everyone he loved got hurt, that was the only thing left in his mind as his eye twitched and he lost the crack he'd been tracing in his mind.

Maybe it was better to be nothing instead of hurting her. If loving her meant that he'd walk the path his father had always laid out for him…wasn't not loving her easier? Wouldn't it hurt her less?

Wouldn't it hurt him less?

His chest tightened, getting him to lay down a hand on his heart as he grimaced slightly.

He couldn't do that. He couldn't let her go. For god's sake, even the thought of losing her drove him insane, making his heart ache like this, how could he…? He loved her too much, he was in too deep – as long as she was happy, he was as well.

"Todoroki?" a quiet voice asked as there was a knock on his door. He instantly knew it was Momo, he knew her voice, her quiet and still formal way of greeting him when she wasn't sure if anyone else could hear them.

"Yeah?" he answered, sitting up with his elbows as leverage as she slowly opened the door, sticking in her head first.

"May I…?" she asked quietly, smiling at him. He could see that the smile wasn't reaching her eyes. Nodding at her, she entered the room fully, gracefully sitting down next to him.

Something was wrong. He saw it instantly in the way her hands started to fidget while she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Sitting up completely, he crossed his legs like sitting opposite her, looking at her face as she looked anywhere except his face.

"Did…something happen?" he asked her quietly, startling her mid motion while they locked eyes.

"I…" she started, shaking her head, before nodding and taking a deep breath, "Yeah."

"Can I ask what?" he then tilted his head, trying to understand what was wrong while he knew at the same time that were was no way for him to know what she was thinking about.

"You know…" she sighed, sitting down on her heels while looking at him with an awkward smile, "Well…Awase asked me out on a date."

His eyes widened as his brain slowly processed the information she'd just given him. Awase had asked her out? Well- That-

Maybe it's better like this.

No, of course it wasn't – she was his fiancée, but he'd already promised he'd never cage her. He was not one to break his promises, he wasn't a liar.

She looked so bashful like this…looking to the side while there was a redness on her cheeks that he couldn't understand at all. Her raven hair glowed in the last rays of the sun before it'd go dark to make way for the early winter nights.

Could it be…that she wanted to go on that date?

It'd certainly make sense, wouldn't it? He was nothing- No, he was someone, but he wasn't even sure who he was… so how could he ever think that she loved him? There were so many people out there that would deserve her so much more than he did-

Protecting him had only lead to pain. His sister was crying, his brother running off, his mother snapping and pouring boiling water over her child's face-

Momo slowly turned her head around to look at him.

What did she see? She'd said he was who he was, that he wasn't misplaced, or mismatched, that she didn't know what she did to deserve him-

'He' deserved her so much more than a broken child with no way of properly loving her.

But they'd kissed, and they'd kissed a lot – but was that love?

What was love?

Why was he suddenly getting so cold again?

His mother loved him and poured boiling water over his face.

He let go of a breath he didn't notice he'd started to hold as he moved his fingers to realize how the ice crunched quietly in his hand.

It was better like this anyway.

"Okay," he said, nodding nonchalantly while staring at the wall behind her, "Have fun."

She didn't reply for a while before he turned to look at her again to see that her smile had disappeared while she looked at him.

Sure, who'd be able to smile while looking at him? It was all lies, everything was lies, his life was one giant lie-

"What?" she asked quietly as he realized that her voice was nothing more than a breath of air as it still seemed so loud in the quiet of his room, "Have…fun?"

Her eyebrows furrowed as she shook her head.

"Are you really okay…with…" she stopped shaking her head to look at him pointedly, "…with me going on a date with someone else?"

No.

"Yeah."

"I…" she coughed before looking away and somewhere deep down, he understood that he'd messed up. That he'd messed up and there was no way for him to make this right again as his chest tightened painfully, "I see."

She got up, straightening her skirt while avoiding his gaze as she turned away to walk towards the door.

Stop her.

Don't let her go.

Exhaling a shaky breath, he realized he couldn't say a thing, staring at his fiancée leaving while he missed the very chance he had to hold onto her.

"Have a good evening, Todoroki," she said, turning towards him while smiling at him politely for a last time before she closed the door.

It was only after she'd left that he let go of a breath he'd held onto way too long, a realization hitting him like a wave in the stormy ocean his mind was.

Holding a hand over his heart, he understood he might've just untied the anchor keeping him from floating away.

He couldn't say he loved her, the fear of hurting her in the end getting too much for him – He couldn't say she was his, because the only thing he'd never wanted to do was cage her.

If he wasn't nothing, he had to be someone.

He was so afraid of being his father, he let her go when she definitely wanted him to hold onto her.

Maybe…

Maybe he was just an idiot, after all.

It wasn't like Momo knew where she was walking when she'd left his room. She just wanted to get out of there; her heart aching so much there was nothing she could say anymore.

She…she'd called him by his last name. Why…why'd she do that…? That certainly hurt him! She didn't want to hurt him, not at all!

But why…Why would he say it was okay for her to go on a date with someone else?

Disappointment hit her so hard that moment she stopped thinking. She just walked away. Maybe…Maybe he didn't know what a date meant? That…it meant she was 'interested' in the other person? That she thought about a possible relationship with that person?

There was nothing like this! She didn't want to date Awase, she only wanted the boy she was going to marry and…and…

She thought that was obvious. She thought that was clear, that he knew.

Did he not love her? Letting her go this easily? Or did he think so badly of himself he didn't see that he was worth enough for her to be his? She…she couldn't know, because she was a fool and had just left instead of talking to him.

There was something wrong, she knew all along, but when they'd kissed, when they'd spent time together, slept in the same bed – she must've forgotten. She must've failed to remember that there was so much wrong with this family that he was afraid of touch.

God, he had been abused for years, finally opening up to her – and what for? So she'd be able to make everything worse by leaving him when it was obvious there was something he hadn't understood right?

But she had been so, so disappointed. No, not at him. Not that it was him she was going to marry, not that he was hurt like this.

She was disappointed in herself for failing to show him what it meant to love someone.

She was a failure after all, wasn't she? Why was she even trying to be more confident about herself when all she managed to do was make everything worse? He had called her his hero! And now? She…She just left him there, all alone in his room while he thought that she wanted to go on a date with another boy. While…he thought that she didn't love him.

Stopping to walk, she put a hand in front of her mouth to stifle her cries as she tried her best to suppress the tears threatening to escape her eyes.

Yeah, the answer was clear. She had to go back. She had to go back and talk to him. There were things she had to make sure. He had to know there was no one else and he shouldn't be okay with her going on dates with other people.

She was his and he was hers. That's what she'd believed for so, so long – How was she supposed to know that he didn't see it? That he didn't understand it?

Straightening her back, she righted her clothes.

She had to go back to him.

"Yaoyorozu? You came?" a voice then asked her, quickly letting her turn around to see a black haired boy with green eyes look at her.

It was only at that moment that she realized where her feet had carried her, leaving her breathless.

Why…was she at the bus station?

Was it already 6pm?

How… How did she get into this situation?

"W-Well," she started, feeling her mind go blank as she had no idea what she was supposed to say. How could she tell him that she didn't want to go on this date when she'd gone there at the time he'd given her? This… why…? This was not her day. Not at all.

"I'm happy to see you here," the green eyed grinned bashfully, scratching the back of his neck. He walked over to her, leaving a little space between them as Momo realized how numb she felt.

'I'm sorry for coming here and making everything worse but I really don't want to go on a date with you,' wasn't an answer she could give. It was the truth, the inevitable truth that hurt her so much that every word she wanted to say got stuck in her throat. Moving her right hand, she held onto the ring she could feel through her white blouse that she'd changed into after school. There was no one else she'd ever want to call her beloved. She messed up, she messed up and she was a coward for not whispering the easy truth that would hurt the poor boy standing in front of her.

So she smiled, her heart tightening so much it was difficult to breathe. Her gaze felt empty as her mind went numb. It was only once. She'd go along. She could tell him no after the date – she could tell him he just wasn't her type. This was going to be okay. She just needed to talk to Shouto.

Slowly, her mind cleared up. She could do this. There was nothing she had to do. This didn't mean anything. She was going to marry Shouto in four months time – nothing would ever change that. Nothing would ever change the way she was feeling around him. She would always love him, and she'd make sure he knew that. Once she was out of this situation, everything was going to be fine. She had messed up, she admitted to that fully and completely.

It was going to be fine, she told herself as she exhaled deeply, taking a deep breath to calm herself down.

"Yes," she whispered, clearing her voice while trying to smile in a way that didn't seem as fake as she knew it was, "Which café did you want to take me to?"

"Well," he said smiling, "I heard it was inspired by an American Diner – They said it was super cool."

Nodding, she motioned for him to show the way.

She clenched her hand at her side, feeling her nails dig into the flesh as she somehow tried to calm her heart as she could feel it pound in her ears, making her dizzy. She was so sorry and everything hurt so much as she took another deep breath, feeling how shaky it was when she exhaled, before she could hear Awase calling her last name.

Last name. Not first name. He wasn't Shouto. She wasn't on a date with Shouto.

She had betrayed Shouto.

"I'm right here," she said, turning towards him to follow him with a slight grin on her face.

On the bus, she took a seat right at the window, feeling how the boy she was with took a seat next to her. She could feel the warmth radiating from him, making her uncomfortable in the most innocent manner.

Looking to her right, she analyzed the boy sitting next to her while he was typing something on his phone, looking at directions thoughtfully.

Dark hair, vibrant green eyes that would surely seem attractive – yet…not to her.

He wasn't her type at all. Her type were heterochromatic eyes, perfectly matched to dual colored hair.

There was no reason to lie about it, her type was Shouto and ever since they've been thrown together there had never been less reason for her to look at others. She missed white and red, grey and blue. She missed the way he'd space out without worrying about directions as they walked for hours in the bitter cold without feeling even a second passing. He was everything she wanted, and she'd messed it up. Just because she'd been surprised by a fact she'd known all along.

Biting her lower lip, she took another deep breath while she looked out of the window, looking at the way the dark forest outside of UA disappeared to make room for the first lights of Musutafu's business buildings. It had long gone dark without her notice.

The café seemed to be on the other side of the city, as they switched to a subway and later got off at a stop she's never been to before, walking for a long, long time afterwards.

It was only then that she'd noticed she wasn't even wearing a coat while there was snow covering the ground. She shivered when they went around a corner, the wind catching her full out.

"Oh!" Awase then exclaimed, already taking off his jacket as she shook her head in denial.

"It's not necessary, but thank you," she whispered, wondering if she should make a jacket with her quirk. Yet she'd ignored economy in so many cases now, she didn't want to continue like this. It would be alright.

She deserved to be cold for doing this. Going on a date. With a boy she wasn't interested him.

Because they messed up.

A shiver ran down her spine when the black haired boy nodded, concern obvious in his eyes.

"If you say so…" he said, closing his jacket while starting to walk on, her following closely.

"That's it!" he then exclaimed when they'd reached the coffee shop, and she had to admit it looked really pretty, with the vibrant red leather couches in the different booths, chess colored white and black tiles on the floor and simple crème walls.

"Wow," she gasped, nodding approvingly.

Really, if this was a real date, with a person she'd be interested in, she'd be absolutely impressed. But right now the guilt and regret for going along weighed heavily on her mind. Looking at her phone, she saw how Kyouka had texted her many times already, asking where she was, how it went, and…why she wasn't answering, of course. Exhaling deeply, she took a last look at the time to see it was already after half past seven in the evening. She never thought Musutafu was this big – and she never would've guessed such a pretty little café was hidden on the other side.

"Do you like it?" Awase asked her quietly, getting her attention while she slowly warmed up in the thankfully heated café. She nodded solemnly, smiling at him as he led her to a booth to sit down.

"What do you want to eat? This is both a coffee shop and a diner, as far as I know," he asked her politely when the waitress brought two little cards with possible options.

Looking out of the window for a second, she tried to get her racing heart under control. This- All of this- was so, so wrong.

She had to get out of here. Somehow. What was she supposed to do? There- This-

Feeling the tears prick at the corners of her eyes again, she had an idea. Finding the sign leading towards the restrooms, she came to a conclusion. She wouldn't be able to get an answer like this.

"I'll be right back," she said, smiling at him while getting up a little rushed, seeing how he nodded at her.

Quickly, she walked over to the woman's restroom, locking the door behind her to let herself fall onto the closed lid of the toilet, taking out her phone while she noticed that her hands started to shake more and more.

"Kyouka, where's your number…" she whispered, feeling her voice break as she scrolled through her contacts.

Finally finding it, she pressed the call button and held her phone to her ear.

Fidgeting with her leg, she stared at the closed door in front of her, realizing how everything went blurry. She closed her eyes, silently pleading for her friend to finally answer her call.

But the beeping just stopped, telling her the call wasn't accepted or heard before ringing out.

"Oh, Kyouka, why now?" she croaked before she let her upper body fall forwards, cowering her legs and hiding her head with her arms as she could feel the tears start to flow.

Now that she was finally crying, she couldn't find a way to stop. It was terrible, she sobbed as she tried to breathe, gasping for air as she lifted her head to whimper in distress.

Just how had it all lead to this?

All of the love she wanted to show him-

All of the normality she wanted to teach him-

Her ringtone pulled her out of it.

Oh, thank god, Kyouka called her back.

Quickly, she hit the green button through her still blurry vision, starting to talk before her friend could interrupt her train of thought.

"Kyouka, I messed up," she cried, feeling her voice break as she used her knees as leverage, closing her eyes as she wiped the tears away hastily, "I totally messed up."

Taking a quick, deep breath, she started to tell it all.

"I…I failed at everything, Kyouka, I failed at everything. I was trying to teach him how to live, wanted to make sure he got the chance to live normally, but what did I do?"

She shook her head, sniffing loudly as she could feel her nose running.

"What did I do, really? I just left him there, alone. I told him about Awase asking me out- and…and I should've known he wouldn't understand. He told me to go and 'have fun', can you believe that? I don't know what was going on inside his head, but either he doesn't like me at all, not in the way I like him – or…or he just doesn't understand that I'm supposed to be his!"

Her hand shook while she put a strand of hair behind her ear, feeling it fall out of there the next second but not caring about it as she vigorously rubbed her eyes.

"I don't know how the…how the heck," she swore, overemotional and losing control of her mouth, "how the heck it ended up like this, but I went on that date with Awase – and…and nothing has happened, as you can guess – but I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry, this wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't what I wanted at all."

She cried, her voice breaking before she cleared it at the silence on the other line.

"I thought I'd tell him about Awase, just to make things clear…but I didn't think he'd allow me to go on a date with someone else – I…I never wanted to go there, and I could only think of Shouto and how much I regret not making sure he knows I…I…" she couldn't say it. She couldn't say 'love', not when she was here, after all that's happened, crying to her best friend on the phone in a diner on the other side of the city while she was sitting in a restroom, "I'm so far away from home, I'm so far away from him, I just wanted him to kiss me or be possessive or anything else! Why did he let me go, Kyouka? Why did he just let me go towards someone else? I…I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I know I need to talk to him, but what am I supposed to say?"

She laughed without humor, shaking her head again.

"Sorry that I went on a date with someone else? I wasn't supposed to do that? You were supposed to hold onto me, telling me that I'm yours and kissing me- How am I supposed to tell him that, Kyouka?" she sat up again, just to realize how her arm gave out as she went back to hiding her face, "I messed it all up. I feel like…I feel like I'm going to lose everything I have, everything I've achieved with him – What am I supposed to do? Just what am I supposed to do, Kyouka?"

When there was still silence greeting her, she asked a quiet 'Please, Kyouka' while staring at the floor beneath her feet.

After still not receiving an answer, she wiped her eyes again, wanting to plead to her friend.

Then, an answer came.

But she…she couldn't have expected the voice on the other line, deep and a little hoarse, so familiar to her that she had to put a hand in front of her mouth to stifle her next cries.

Maybe…Maybe she should've checked the caller ID before answering.

But maybe…this was the best that could've happened.

"Where…Where do I need to pick you up?" Shouto asked.

Notes:

Please don't kill me. *laughs devastatedly*

And another cliffhanger.
I'm very very sorry for that but I couldn't resist.

Who guessed that the caller in the end wasn't Kyouka?

And I need to say, because I'm not sure if it came through totally - but Awase already guesses that there's something wrong. He's not making himself too much false hope, and I aim to conclude this soon!

Anyway - I really hope you liked this angsty, terrible little chapter full of cowards trying to do the best and failing miserably. Always keep in mind that I'm not one for (too much) unessecary drama. Traumas are deeply anchored in the soul, and just because you feel better, or feel yourself getting better - they're still there after nothing else is left.

Have a wonderful week everyone!

Chapter 24: I'm still learning to love, just starting to crawl

Summary:

Say Something - A Great Big World ft Christina Aguilera

Mistakes and coincidences led to pain - let the tiny and unexpected twists of fate might let pain turn into the most wonderful love.

Notes:

Here we are! After the cliffhanger!

Get your blankets, get your cookies, get some hot chocolate and get ready for this little ride I'm taking you one - which...might not be what you expected after all, but maybe you did? Who knows :D

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"S-Shouto," she whispered, feeling her voice break, "I…I'm so sorry," she repeated, her tears resuming their steady flow, "I-… I-"

"It's okay," he answered, his voice on the verge of breaking as well as she tried to stifle her sobs, the gravity of the situation falling from her shoulders, "I…" he started, clearing his voice, "We need to talk, don't we?"

"Mh hm," her lips were pulled into a tight line, eyes set on the door in front of her.

"It's…I…let's talk this through in person, okay? I'll…I'll pick you up. Where are you?" he then said. She could hear rustling on the other line as he seemed to move.

She wanted to say no, tell him to stay where he was because she could solve this alone – but… but… it wasn't true. She wanted him to come here, wanted him to save her from this mess she'd caused-

"It's not your fault, Mo- Yaoyorozu," her heart stopped when she heard how he switched back to her last name, "I… I'm just a mess, still learning to love and… and it feels like I'm just stumbling and falling without making anything right, so… please don't beat yourself up for the wreck you're bound to."

"Don't," she started, a hiccup interrupting her, "Don't say that. I'm Momo, you're Shouto. I'm yours, and you're mine, aren't… you?"

The crying got worse as she started to sob even worse than before, her heart aching so much she couldn't get herself under control.

"I…" she could hear him walking, "I am. I'm yours. And that's what I'm afraid of."

"Why?" she cried.

"I fear that's… that's what's going to bring you down. I want you to be a hero, I want you to be happy, I want you to be free, I don't… I don't want to see you hurt. Why-" he took a deep breath, "Why do I have to be the reason for your tears?"

"Shouto… oh, Shouto… that's not… that's not true. You're not… I just… I'm yours. Don't you ever… ever say that you're okay with me dating other boys – it's not okay, not at all. Not that I want you to be possessive or jealous but it's… please, say it. Just say it once."

"Say what?" the steps stopped.

"That I'm yours," she whispered, wiping her tears away.

Silence greeted her again in which she could only hear her slowly stopping sniffs.

Hearing him exhale, she bit her lower lip.

"Where… where are you?" he asked, his voice breaking.

He couldn't say it, she realized. He couldn't say it. Like those three little words right on her tongue.

Could it be? Could it be that he feared the same? That… saying these little words, these little spoken promises would tear them apart in the end?

Why could she understand it so much?

"I'll send you the location," she whispered, taking her phone away from her ear to send it before resuming their talk, "Should I…Should I wait here?"

"Yes, please," he answered, voice gruff as he spoke while running, "This'll take a while. Can you…are you at a warm place? Are you…not alone?"

She huffed, understanding that her tears were slowly dissipating, making it easier to breathe as she wasn't interrupted by hiccups anymore.

"I'm hiding in the restroom," she admitted quietly, "I'm…afraid of going out there again. I…I gave Awase false hope and- he's probably been waiting for a long time now, wondering where I went and I don't- I don't know what I'm supposed to say."

"Momo," he said sternly, letting a rock fall off her chest in relief at hearing her first name from his lips, "Awase's a good guy. I'll…I'll have to hang up to get there faster and I…I really don't want you to be alone right now. Tell him. I…I believe in you. It's going to be okay, I swear. I'll be right there."

She nodded quietly, smiling slightly. He was going to give her the chance to make it right again.

"I'll be here," she whispered, "I'll explain everything while waiting for you."

"Good," he said, sounding a little out of breath, "I'll hang up now?"

"Okay," she answered, the silence on the line being kept for a few seconds before he hung up.

Maybe he'd wanted to say something he didn't dare say.

She wouldn't be surprised. She was the same.

Getting up a little wobbly, she unlocked the door to walk to the mirror over the sink. Cringing, she realized that she looked even worse than she felt. How was she supposed to explain herself looking like that? With her eyes and nose red from crying, her lips swollen from biting on them all night long?

"I trust you, Shouto," she whispered to herself, nodding at her face in the mirror. If he said it was going to be alright, it would be.

Even though there was a lot they had to talk about, things they had to clear up and also issues she guessed he hid ever since All Might's retirement – Maybe…maybe that had something to do with the fact that he couldn't call her his. That he couldn't take anything for himself.

It was…terrible, what he'd gone through. She slowly understood. She'd guessed it all wrong from the start. He'd warned her that terrible things happen to people close to him, leading to him being afraid of intimacy.

He'd warned her that he was a mess and he didn't want to pull her down.

She must've been an idiot for thinking he didn't mean it.

Had he…pushed her away to lead a better life? After all they did? After they kissed, after they slept in the same bed- Was that not enough? Or was it too much after all?

Turning on the cold water, she washed her face, trying to get rid of the thoughts.

Taking another deep breath, she opened the bathroom door, letting it fall closed behind her as she quickly stepped outside. She had to act fast, because giving her too much time to think would only let her hide once again. That wouldn't solve anything, though.

As soon as she left the bathroom, she discovered Awase sitting in one of the booths who looked at her as soon as he heard the door click behind her.

"Woah, what-" he started, quickly getting up, "What happened? Did you cry?"

"Please, stay seated," she answered, nervously sliding onto the couch opposite him, "I…I have to tell you something."

"Yaoyorozu?" he then asked, sitting back down in front of her, "What's wrong?"

"I…I…" she took a deep breath, trying to calm her breath as she realized how her mind was stumbling over the words, "First of all, I'm so, so, so sorry. I can't even properly explain how sorry I am but…"

Whereas she'd been staring at her hands on the table before, she looked up to the black haired, biting her lips before shaking her head. This was a mess she had caused. She had to take care of it.

He's a good guy, Shouto's words repeated itself in her mind.

Was that why he'd agreed to let her go on a date with him?

"I'm…" she let go of her lips, "I'm already taken."

The green eyed's eyes widened as he looked at her, not speaking a word.

"Y-You…" he blinked quickly, "You're in a relationship? Then why…?"

He used his elbows as leverage as he leaned on the table, looking at her with bright green eyes.

She…had messed up so, so much. How…what was she supposed to say? How could she explain this mess that all of this was and how they pulled him right into it?

This poor boy was only a casualty in the mess they made.

Was Shouto feeling the same about her? That she was going to be a casualty?

"I…I'm so sorry," she whispered as she could feel the tears return to her eyes, a sob rippling through her throat as she hid her face in her hands, quickly getting herself together to return to the topic at hand. She had no right to cry about this. Her actions, or rather her lack of action had caused this in the first place, no matter what he'd said.

Yes, they had to have a long, long talk after all this.

Still, when she took a breath, another hiccup interrupted her.

"I- This-" violently, she shook her head, "I messed up. Big time. And-" another hiccup, "I…I just ran into you and then I was a coward, too afraid to tell you that it was just a coincidence and no, I didn't want to go on a date with you because I'm engaged and I love him and I can't even say how sorry I am to have pulled you into this at all, it wasn't my intention – not that that excuses anything – but I wanted to say that I'm incredibly sorry I gave you false hope, that I went along even though there was another man waiting for me – whom I left all alone thinking he wasn't worthy of me – and I can't even ask you to forgive me because-"

"Yaoyorozu!" he interrupted. She was gasping for air, feeling the tears flow once again as she stifled her cries with her hand.

"It's okay," Awase said, "I swear it's okay! Don't be too sorry. Of course this is a shitty situation and I was interested in getting to know you better, but it's going to be okay. I didn't have my hopes up. I…I noticed something was wrong. But to think…you're engaged? How…?"

Relief flooded her veins while the tears only got stronger.

"It's…It's a long story…" she shook her head, wiping over her face once again.

"Stay as long as you need," a voice she didn't know then said, letting her realize that they were not alone here. There were people around them, an older couple two booths behind them, a woman with a few books and a notebook on the other side of the restaurant. And lastly, the waitress standing next to her, setting a mug down in front of her.

"Hot chocolate," the red haired woman explained, "It's on the house."

When Momo wanted to answer, another sob rippled through her.

She didn't…She didn't deserve this much kindness, this empathy from the people around her. This… she'd made this mess herself, so why…? Why would they help her?

Was that…how Shouto felt when he said he didn't think he deserved anything nice?

Was that how he felt all the time?

Smiling, even though the tears were still running over her cheeks, she nodded at the waitress, cupping the warm mug with her hands, only then realizing how icy and cold they were.

She was shivering as well.

"I… thank you so much," Momo said when the waitress was smiling at her, gently laying a hand on her shoulder before retracing it.

"Do you not have a coat with you? In this icy weather?"

"She rejected mine earlier," Awase remarked when she shook her head.

"I didn't…I didn't plan on going out. I…I was being presumptuous about something I should've known to be unclear and- and when he said he was okay with me going on a date with someone else, I…I ran away and then I met you, Awase, and then it all just happened and I'm so sorry about all of this," Momo shook her head, biting her lip before taking a sip of the hot chocolate, sniffing when she realized how tasty it was. The red haired had disappeared from her side.

"He said he was okay with you going on a date with someone else? I thought you were… engaged?" the black haired boy asked.

"I do not wish to interrupt you," the waitress interrupted, making both of them look at her, "But I also do not want you to freeze, so please, take these blankets for now. If there's anything I can do, let me know," the red haired said, putting a few blankets down next to Momo, "I know… love can be… difficult sometimes."

It was only then that Momo realized she'd used a single word she'd been too scared to say out loud. It seemed that once she forgot she wasn't alone, once she forgot there were people overhearing her words, this little word was so easy to say.

Smiling at her mug, she took one of the blankets, thanking the red haired waitress while draping it over her legs.

"Yeah," she answered, instinctively taking out her snowflake ring and feeling it under her fingertips, "I do love him. But I'm too scared to tell him that."

She bit her lip when she looked up at Awase again, "The marriage is arranged, so…there's a lot that's very…unusual in the way we are."

"Arranged?!" the young woman sitting in the booth with her books suddenly got up, bringing her hands down to the table loudly, getting their attention. Her brown curls were messily put together while dark circles decorated dark eyes, "How old are you? Fifteen?"

"I'm…" Momo swallowed audibly, realizing that everyone was listening in – yet it was too late, there was no way for her to take back what she'd already said, "I'm sixteen. And it's okay, I swear. The arrangement is something I've long come to accept and I don't know why fate keeps joking with us after it put me together with the boy I'd liked for a long, long time before knowing," again, she looked at Awase, "I'm sorry."

"Again, it's fine!" he waved his hands in a denying motion as he looked a little flustered at her repeated apologies while the brown haired woman came a little closer to them, leaning on the table opposite theirs.

"So why…" the waitress asked, pulling a stool towards them and sitting down on the side of their table, "…why did he think it was okay to let you go out with someone else? Does he not…feel the same? Please don't feel pressured to answer."

"That's…a very good question," Momo stared at her mug, "I think…I think he likes me very much as well but is too scared to admit it. I'm the same – but now that I finally said it out loud, I just wished I didn't hesitate when I had the chance to tell him that."

"I felt the same, once upon a time," a different voice joined in, gruff and hoarse, the older man getting up with the help of the woman next to him while he used his crutch to walk over to them, "I missed my chance many, many times. And it was only for that lovely lady here," he looked at the woman next to him, "that we've got seven children now."

"I think that no matter the circumstance," the brown haired book woman said, smiling at them sadly, "it's always about what we do with what he have. You say you love him, you admit you messed up. Go and talk it out. There's no way for any of us to know the complete situation or what he's like, but we can see you, right here, crying because of a preventable mistake if you'd just talked enough. You're not evil. So, if you fell in love with him - he can't be either. Trust your heart, trust your judgement."

Looking at the red mug in her hand, Momo chuckled quietly.

"Funny," she whispered, feeling how everyone around her watched her quietly as she looked around again, first to Awase, to the older couple and the waitress and lastly towards the brown haired woman, "That's what he always tells me as well."

"Do I…Do I know him? If you ran away from meeting him?" Awase then asked after a long time, getting her attention as she smiled while nodding.

"You definitely do," she let go of the necklace around her neck, letting the snowflake ring fall down her front.

"Wait, is that a snowflake?" he then asked with wide eyes while her attention was attracted by something completely different.

The loud clang of the glass door made all of them look towards it as she didn't hesitate and jumped up from her seat on the couch to stumble towards the door, a familiar head of red and white meeting her halfway as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Momo," he whispered, voice nothing more than air as he seemed completely out of breath, "I came as fast as I could, how- what- why-" he shook his head, confused by himself as he wrapped his arms around her as well to burrow his face in her neck, "I'm a fucking idiot, and I'm so, so sorry for getting you in this situation."

"It's okay," she whispered, her left hand wandering upwards and holding the back of his neck, feeling his soft and cold hair from outside as she noticed he wasn't wearing a coat either, "If you're an idiot, I'm a fool myself, because I just left and- and made it all worse and worse."

She was pulling back to look at him better, seeing so much unspoken hurt in his eyes, and she knew he ached to let it all out, even if he didn't know it himself. She'd make him talk, for sure, later, when they were alone because that was definitely too much for the ears of the people around them.

"That's not true," he whispered, "You're not a fool. I'm just…" closing his eyes, he took another deep breath, "…broken."

"You're not," she shook her head, gently cupping his face with her now warmed up hands to feel how cold his cheeks were as well, "Hurt, yes. But not broken, because you're not a thing that we can fix with a little bit of Sero's flex tape. You're not hopeless, and…"

She wanted to say it. She wanted to say it so much.

Why was it so difficult?

She didn't want to miss her chance.

Even if this was going to be the beginning of the end, in this pretty retro café on the other side of town – she'd use every second she got to her fullest.

No matter what her dreams depicted, what her brain told her the logical conclusion was…

…she'd keep him by her side, and she'd hold his hand as long as she could.

"I love you," she whispered, "I love you so much, Shouto."

Only faintly, she realized how his eyes widened as she leaned forward to claim his lips with hers.

It took him a moment before he reciprocated the contact, gently moving his lips on hers, his hands motionlessly hanging by his sides until she reluctantly let go to wage his reaction.

He was blushing, a faint red tint covering his nose and cheeks while he looked to his right, avoiding her eyes.

"I…" he whispered, slowly turning towards her, "I can't…"

"That's okay," gently caressing his cheek, she smiled at him, "I just needed you to know."

Nodding while biting his lips, he looked to the floor before taking a deep breath while she took her hands away from his face.

It was okay. He didn't have to say it back. She could feel it. Feel it in his eyes, in the way he hadn't pushed her away after the mess today had been. Maybe, and her hope had only been strengthened now, he loved her too.

He'd said he was hers. And she'd said she was his.

That's how it was, and that's how it had to be. It was all that mattered even though she'd put herself in a storm, unleashed by his ease in letting her go. It was everything she needed in this world and so much more when he bashfully looked at her, stone and aqua eyes locking with hers while she bit her lips and tried to see through the façade, the icy wall he'd been trying to build up with pushing her away.

He wasn't broken, even if he thought he was. They couldn't fix him, not like this. His fear of intimacy had gotten so much better over the time, she'd gifted him the Martryoshka dolls to show him that. He was getting better, and just because there's a setback once or twice or even a hundred times, it was progress.

They had to talk, long and without him closing off, but how was she supposed to do that?

How… did her mother say?

She could only show him enough warmth, enough love for him to let the words flow before they took him apart further.

That's when she remembered they weren't alone here after all, her face turning beet red while she looked to the other people present in the café, the brown haired woman nodding at her with a bright smile, while Awase gave her a thumbs up, grinning at her as well.

"That's," she cleared her voice, "That's my fiancée, I…" she looked at Shouto again, "I'm sorry for telling someone else, but they kind of… overheard."

"That's okay, I told you to tell him," he said, looking towards Awase and nodding at the black haired boy.

Awkwardly walking towards the accidental date, he held his hand out to him.

He… held his hand out to someone?

She had to prevent herself from hugging him because she was very, very proud and wanted to let him know that, but she didn't want to interrupt the feeble atmosphere the shop had built up as the waitress got up to disappear in the kitchen.

Awase grabbed the hand in front of him and pulled the dual haired boy closer.

He didn't bother to whisper as he talked. "Don't let her go again," he smiled dryly, "That hurt her more than you can imagine. If you like her, show her. Don't let her think she's not important, because I'm not blind," he stared right into a pair of heterochromatic eyes, determined but soft at the same time, "They always said your eyes are as fiery and cold as your father's," Momo could see how her fiancée stiffened at the accusation as she quietly took notice of that, "but that's not true. You look scared, Todoroki, and I can tell it's because you don't want to lose her."

Putting both hands on the taller's shoulders, the green eyed nodded determinedly, "Take care of her, keep her close. You'll spend a lifetime together, so I count on you to make her happy."

"I…" the dual haired started, "I…yeah, you're right. This won't happen again, I…I learned my lesson."

Shouto let his head hang as the black haired boy in front of him let go of his shoulders, sitting back down in the booth.

Awkwardly, Shouto turned towards her while she smiled at him.

He was here now. He was in her reach as she held out her hand to interlace her fingers with his.

"We…We really need to talk," she said, bringing a little bit of order in the mess of red and white in his face, "You need to talk to me. We promised we'd be honest and I…I was so shocked when you let me go without hesitation…it was like…I didn't matter to you. Not how you do to me. Because yes, I love you, I really do – so…it only hurt me more."

Nodding wordlessly, he let out a long breath before looking at her and furrowing his eyebrows.

"Did you not put on a coat before you left?" he asked, a certain accusation in his undertone which was obviously supposed to cover his concern.

"You didn't either," she replied, smiling at him knowingly as he looked down at himself while he blinked slowly.

"Did you at least eat?"

"No," she shook her head, "did you?"

"Well…"

"Who wants waffles?" a voice interrupted them, the red haired waitress coming back into the room with a huge plate, filled with so much food she had to walk even more carefully to prevent it from falling over.

The answer... was obvious.

"Aizawa's going to kill us," she said, smiling at her phone ironically as she saw it was already past eleven as they'd entered the subway and taken a seat.

"I'm sorry," Shouto answered, leaning back while she sat to his left. It was cold, and she was incredibly tired. Awase had left before them, wanting to be punctual for curfew. There weren't any people in the wagon they'd entered – even though it really should've been the prime time for people to go home from work after a long and taxing day. Or maybe not, considering they probably already went home at a reasonable time. Other than the two students who'd messed up completely and in every way today, "I'll take the blame."

"Shouto," she glared at him, "No. I'm going to be just as late to curfew as you. I'm going to be just as tired tomorrow at school. We're in this together."

A shiver ran down her spine as there were goosebumps forming on her arms – had it gotten colder or was she just imagining things?

"Come here," he whispered, putting his left arm around her shoulder to pull her close.

"But!" she quickly said, pulling away a little, "We're in public-"

"There's no one here. We're not doing anything. You're just freezing and I'm a portable heater," he smirked at her, making her heart jump once again, "You taught me what a hug meant. You taught me to like hugs. Let me hug you."

"Okay," she answered way too quickly for her liking while she scooted closer to him, feeling how he held the back of her head. Burrowing her face in the crook of his neck at his fire side, she instantly felt warmer.

It may also be because of the close proximity and the fact that he still faintly smelled of ashes – something she'd never thought she'd find attractive. But she did, now, because it was just him and to know she was able to get so close to him without him reacting badly to it-

She just felt powerful, loved and treasured and needed. It was…weird, somehow. But it was a wonderful feeling while his second hand came to her hip as he turned towards her a little more.

Another shiver ran down her spine when she could feel his cold hand through the thin fabric of her blouse and when he wrapped his arm around her waist she only realized she liked it way too much to be healthy.

Was it supposed to be like this? Liking…the physical touch of the person one loved? That's what it always looked like in the movies, at least. It's what she'd always read about. Yet, she always thought she was different. She was so calculating, they were so different from the usual couples she'd read about, but she still wanted more of this.

Pulling her head away from his shoulder, she analyzed the way a soft read tint had spread on his cheeks because of the cold, probably, the way she could see his breath in the cold of the subway, light green tiles rushing by them outside the windows, yet they were just faintly noticed when all she could concentrate on where those beautiful eyes that looked at her like she was the most important and treasurable being he'd ever laid his eyes on. Of course she couldn't know if that was the truth, yet it was okay like this. Why would he let her get this close if he didn't like her?

Would he like…the way she looked?

She always thought she was too heavy – even though she'd long accepted that she needed the fats for her quirk and it wasn't even weirdly balanced or anything – it was just, suddenly, and without any notice, that she realized he might see her one day. Fully, without layers of clothing between them and she couldn't do anything but feel nervous about that. What if he thought she was too chubby? But why would he…he supported her as a hero after all. He supported her choices, no matter what they were.

Even if that meant going on a date with another person.

Lifting her left hand up, she cupped his icy cold cheek again, gently moving her thumb along his jawline, back to his cheek, feeling the soft skin underneath her hand as she asked herself if he was growing a beard already, yet she couldn't find a single trace of that. His eyes locked with hers as the bumpy and messy subway went its way, neither of them realizing a single thing as they were the only thing left in this world for that moment.

"Kiss me," she whispered, her gaze slowly wandering down his nose, stopping at his lips as she moved her hand away. He'd been hesitant before, when they were in the café. He didn't need to hesitate. They were alone, and even if they weren't, there was no way for her to notice that.

Inside this dirty old subway - in which she didn't even want to think about the things people had done here before them - she wrapped her arms around his neck as he claimed her lips with his. The hand he had on the back of her head went down to her waist as well while the only thing left in her mind was warmth and love and that she wasn't cold anymore. She couldn't be, not when he was here, not when he was kissing her like that.

They hadn't talked yet, hadn't made anything clear, but that wasn't what was important in this moment. She just wanted to love him, wanted to show him she loved him to make all of his terrible, self-deprecating thoughts go away and replace them with beautiful memories right here, right now. No matter how terrible this day had been, no matter how many tears she'd shed tonight – she had him here, and he was kissing her, nipping her lips with his tongue while she quickly let him explore her mouth.

He was the most fascinating, heart-wrenching person she'd ever met, and it was just pure fate that she'd fallen for him from the start – not to mention the fact they were going to marry in less than four months time. Pulling him in closer, she realized their angle was awkward as she moved to straddle his legs, her black pants making her feel less embarrassed as she would be if she was wearing a skirt. Breaking the kiss apart to gasp for air, he looked at her while she panted heavily, feeling how warm her cheeks felt as she played with the hairs in the back of his neck.

"Momo," his hoarse voice whispered, "Shouldn't we…talk things through, first? Why would you want to…?"

"Yeah," she answered, pecking his nose, "We should. I just need you to know that no matter what you'll tell me, no matter what horrible things your mind are doing to you right now – I'll love you all the same. And you'll never be able to change that."

Closing his eyes for a moment, she only observed the way he was breathing until he opened them again.

"Even…Even if I end up becoming like my father?"

"You won't," she whispered, "You're not your father. I said it before, and I'll say it how many times you need to hear it – You're not your father. You're you."

"And who am I?" his voice then broke as he tried to look away while she quickly caught his face to make him look at her, gently caressing his cheeks.

"Oh, Shouto," it suddenly all made sense. The dots in her head connected when she put it all together. He'd always been trained to be number one because his father couldn't be. Then All Might retired, making Endeavor number one. Did he feel like he lost…who he thought he was?

"I…" he cleared his voice, not looking at her as he stared at nothing in particular, his face still righted towards her, "I don't know what to think. I don't know who I am. I thought I was nothing when he got number one-" she swallowed audibly at the realization that she was right and it was even worse.

"And I know I'm not 'nothing' as I had thought, so I have to be someone…but who am I? What if I'm like my father? Everything he'd planned for me, everything I tried to prevent – it all keeps happening. It's…It's like I'm not in control of anything…It's like I'm stumbling in a cold and icy snowfield and I've got no freaking way to get out of it except holding onto you and the last time I held onto someone-" he interrupted himself when she saw the tears gathering in his eyes before he quickly blinked them away.

"The last time I held onto someone she poured boiling water over the left side of my face," he admitted, looking right into her eyes as she gasped, the realization hitting her like a train as she gently nodded, beckoning for him to go on, "Everyone I love hurts me in the end, so…so it's so difficult – I can't- I can't even express what I'm feeling because it all just hurts because I'm afraid, so I want to let go. But if I let go, like I did today…It- It's just even worse because I feel like I could cry all day and I can't breathe or think and it hurt me so much more than boiling water ever could, I called you to make it right again. And then I find out that everything I've done only led to you breaking down as well – I…I always heard mom cry when it slowly went worse and worse, and…I don't know, I just can't see this, I can't see this without it reminding me of all the hurt and pain and the love I never got to know in this house I grew up in-"

He took a deep breath, before he swallowed audibly.

"You give me so much, Momo, and I'm afraid it'll come back to haunt you in the end. Because if I think about losing you…I don't know. I just don't know what I'll do. It just hurts, right here," he whispered, taking his hand to lay it onto his chest, right above his heart, "I didn't know it would hurt that much. I slowly start to understand why I closed off all those years – because letting someone in hurts way more than never even thinking about it," he whispered, looking to his right while she slowly let go of his face, letting her hands wander down to gently lay them down on his broad chest, "But then there's the beautiful memories. The moments I fall in asleep in your arms, the moments I hold you close or kiss you on a cold winter day – I don't…I never would've thought what a mess those feelings were until I'd experienced them myself."

"You're confused, aren't you?" she asked quietly, looking at him as he nodded with a half smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes at all, "I understand that, and it's okay to be confused and scared and angry and sad and whatever else you're feeling. You just need to tell that to someone, you can't bottle it up like this – I mean…I…I'm scared of the same thing," she admitted, biting her lower lip while clenching her hands into fists, "I'm having nightmares, as you know. I've been having them for so, so long and the only thing that's always the same is that I'm losing you in the end. I'm losing you and fail to hold on and I'm so scared of that coming true – I just…I want to spend every single moment I get with you. I feel the same, the hurt, the fear, the sadness – it's okay. It's okay to feel that, and I can't say that it's normal because I don't know. I really don't know if it's normal but it doesn't matter as we weren't normal or usual from the start."

She huffed quietly when she let her head sink into the crook of his neck before she looked up to him again, "I just know that I love you so much I couldn't even express how much it hurt and disappointed me that you let go of me. I love you, Shouto. I love you so, so much and I don't know how I can prove to you that I'll stay by your side, but I will. I won't let go."

"You…are?" he whispered, "You…want to stay? Even though I'm…like this?"

"Yes. Shouto, I'll marry you in a little more than four months time. I'll stay with you. I'll love you, I'll marry you, I'll carry your children and know them to be perfect just by knowing they have the chance to be a little bit like you."

"Children…" he looked to his left, "I'm scared of being a father."

"No," she answered, "You're scared of being like your father was. And you'll never be, I'll make sure of that."

"I don't…I don't know what I did to deserve you," he gently put a hand on the back of her neck to press their foreheads together.

"You don't have to do anything. You deserve the world and the stars and this universe and everything the human mind can imagine. Just because you're you. And I'll help you figure it out, if you let me. You're making progress, you're getting better at intimacy, you're even searching for it yourself, can you see that? You kissed me on Christmas Eve and it was the most beautiful feeling I ever could've imagined. There's so much in this world we don't know. So much we can't grasp now, but things we can experience and figure out together. I believe we can."

She sat back on his legs as she looked down at him, "You're even using physical touch as examples of when you feel loved the most…do you understand how much that means? And why people do it all the time?"

He nodded slowly, a little dazed, "I'm slowly starting to understand."

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he buried his face in her shoulder, giving her access to the left side of his neck, indirectly making sure she'd know the safety and warmth was all hers.

She had a different idea, though, as she bowed down to gently place kisses on his neck as he pulled away quickly to look at her with wide eyes.

"I…" he blinked, "what?"

"Shouto," she whispered, still playing with the hair in the back of his neck, "I want to show you love, I want to be closer to you…and no, don't worry, small steps, always small steps," she repeated, "I just need you, and I want to touch you and I don't know how my mind suddenly came to this," her cheeks were burning up as she tried her best to not produce a few Martryoshkas the moment her mind even went into deeper and…more scandalous themes.

"But I'd like to experience this with you. I'd love to find out what it's like to love someone in the purest and most physical form out there – and there's no doubt in my mind that I want this love to be yours. So never, ever, try to push me away again, okay?"

"I-" he swallowed while blinking hastily, "I won't. I won't push you away again. I learned it the hard way, but I won't. But- I- I'm- I don't know, well, I'd like to, but I've got no- I have no idea, Momo."

"Hey," she ran a hand through his hair, "It's okay, I don't know anything about this either. But there's no pressure, none at all. Please don't ever feel pressured by me, and if you do, please tell me."

"No," he shook his head, "I…I'd like to," his arms around her waist tightened, "Small steps?"

"Tiny steps," she answered, her cheeks still reddening more even though she wasn't sure how that was possible.

"Okay," he answered, letting one of his hands wander upwards to pull her closer to him as he smiled at her tiredly. Worn out from the day, and she couldn't blame him as she felt absolutely the same.

"I love you," she whispered again, blinking quickly as she realized where they were when she looked out the window, "We- We missed our stop."

Blinking, he looked out the window as well, "Lets just drive three backwards, that'll work."

"Okay," she then said, pecking his lips as he pulled her close for a last time as she slowly got up from her position to leave the train.

It was still a long way home, after all.

Who was she kidding?

She was home, because he was next to her.

God, she thought, just when did I fall for him so hard?

It didn't matter, she supposed.

Because he was here.

Notes:

Haha, is it what you expected?

They talked, they cried, they confessed, they cried more, they kissed, they made out in a dirty old subway (yes, feel free to analyze once again, you already figured out the subway station xD) - but they finally, finally talked about so many of the things that were wrong.
Finally we have spoken promises, spoken out loud love -

How does the title say? "I'm still learning to love, just starting to crawl". It's from Say Something by Christina Aguilera and A Great Big World. It's heartbreaking, just like their relationship.

And next chapter might...turn a little steamier *smirk*

Tell me what you think and feel free to yell at me in the comments and on tumblr! Also feel free to theorize and analyse with me! :D

Chapter 25: Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

Summary:

While Your Lips Are Still Red - Nightwish

Sometimes words aren't needed, sometimes they are necessary. Love is a thing unspoken, yet this single word, four letters length, can be both the rise and the downfall, the calm and the storm.

Notes:

Surprise, surprise, I'm a day early! Yeah, I already had it finished and I just couldn't wait anymore so I thought I'd upload it tonight ^-^

This is...a little steamier. In a literal sense. So if that's not your cup of tea, just skip after their talk to Aizawa, otherwise...Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"I'm not even that surprised Todoroki's late to curfew, but how come the class representative is just as late?" the black haired man said when they entered the common room, side by side as she held onto Shouto's left arm to get all warmth she could find in this icy cold December night, "And why're you holding hands?" their teacher then asked dryly.

"That's," Momo started, looking to the floor before she looked at their teacher, slowly letting go of Shouto's arm and standing up straight, "That's a very long story, Sir Aizawa, that we'd certainly be alright in sharing, wouldn't we, Shouto?" she turned towards the dual quirk wielder next to her who blinked at her before he nodded slowly.

Aizawa slowly got up from his place on the cushioned armchair he'd waited in until they'd entered the dormitory. He groaned under his breath as he looked back and forth between them, analyzing their behavior and gesture. "There's no rule against couples in UA, but I'll ask you to concentrate on your studies to become heroes first and foremost. I'll see when your grades suffer."

"They didn't," Shouto intervened while she quietly scolded him for being so bold with their teacher, "We've been together since July. We'll marry in April."

Aizawa blinked slowly, seemingly trying to comprehend the words said to him in the middle of the night by two students who'd been hours late to curfew.

It might've been a little confusing to start with the fact they were going to marry soon.

"Teenagers," he replied dryly, "isn't it a little soon to think about marriage?"

"It's arranged," Shouto replied monotonously, "We're sorry we're late."

Once again, their teacher blinked at them.

"You're in a quirk marriage?" the black haired teacher then asked, "That's illegal."

"More or less," Shouto nodded.

"Why're you late?"

"Long story."

"Shouto, stop being so bold to teachers," she interrupted the teacher-student stare off, "As class representative I need to scold you for that."

"Sorry," he replied, looking at her with a little smirk that made her knees weak once again while she was supposed to be scolding him.

"Were you out in that cold without coats?" their teacher then asked when Momo turned away to sneeze. Maybe…it had been a little too cold outside. Maybe she should've just made a jacket with her quirk.

"Yeah," Shouto replied while Momo nodded quietly, averting her gaze as she didn't want to be scolded as well.

Once again, their teacher grumbled under his breath.

"Warm up. Go to bed. Come talk to me tomorrow after school," he said when he turned away to walk to his own room.

"Thank you, Sir Aizawa," Momo started, "I promise we'll explain it and it won't ever happen again."

Yawning, he lifted a hand while walking away, signing that he'd heard.

Once their teacher'd left the room, she looked at Shouto who was taking her hand with his left, giving her a little bit of his warmth as he locked eyes with her.

It was only at that moment that she realized how tired and cold she actually was as her limbs wouldn't stop shaking. It wouldn't be a good idea to go to bed like this because she wasn't going to get warm and she really couldn't afford to get sick.

And he couldn't, either.

"Shouto?" she asked quietly, stepping closer towards him as he nodded at her, "Do you, maybe, want to take a shower with me?"

Wait.

Why did she say that?

That's not- Was it-

"W-Well, with clothes on, I just…I'm cold and I know you can regulate your temperature but I don't want you to get sick either so-"

"Okay, Momo," he interrupted her, pressing a soft peck on her cheek, "I've got no idea of any of this stuff, as you know, so I'll…I'll let you guide us."

"But I don't know anything either. Except using protection and that's a little too far when we haven't even…"

"Haven't even what?"

"It's…It might be a little too far to think about actual…intercourse…when we haven't even really…touched, yet."

"We touch all the time. You're teaching me about it."

"No-" she shook her head while awkwardly smiling at her, feeling her face grow beet red, "That's…a different type of touch."

"Show me," he whispered, his voice hoarse as she looked back into his eyes, beautiful eyes clouded with a determination undermined with a warmth – a love – so deep she couldn't do much more than nod at him.

"Okay," she answered, smiling at him.

And even though she had no idea, no clue to what she was even talking about, she was happy and confident they could figure this out.

Because they always did, somehow.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Shouto asked quietly when they entered the girls shower block, "They'll suspend us if they find out, won't they?"

Blushing, Momo closed the door behind them, "They would," she whispered, leaning on it while looking at the dual haired boy in front of her, "but no one's awake or going to shower at two in the morning," she tried to make sense of the shambles her brain was in, telling her not to do something so risky.

"I want to let you feel love," she whispered once again, seeing how he nodded at her slowly while she turned away to set her change of clothes down next to his, resting her towel on top of his to effectively hide them – just in case.

"I'm…" he started, awkwardly looking away from her while a soft blush covered his cheeks as she turned around to him again, "I'm a little…scared?"

Taking a few steps until she was standing right in front of him, she took his warm and cold hands into hers. Slowly, he turned his head towards her until he locked her eyes, squeezing her hands as well.

"You don't have to be. Just tell me when you want to stop," the warmth on her cheeks was getting stronger and stronger as well as she realized just what they were about to do, her innocent mind going into fields she was not sure she was ready to delve into either.

"I trust you, that's not the problem," he answered, looking away once again as she could witness how he blushed even more, "It's…Well-" he gulped audibly, "I don't know how I'll…react?"

Blinking quickly, Momo understood that he was not talking about a reaction as in being afraid, but-

A different one.

She chuckled awkwardly, realizing that this was indeed possible to happen. It didn't bother her, not at all. Because it'll surely show that he liked it.

"It's okay," she blinked once again, the warmth on her cheeks not passing at all, "Just…let it happen."

He choked on his breath before he cleared his voice, looking at her nervously.

"This…even if we're not doing anything," she tried to explain even though she didn't have any words as embarrassment took over her mind, "It's supposed to feel good. That's the only thing I know."

Nodding quietly, he leaned forward and captured her lips with his. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him towards her, making her wonder when he'd grown to be so tall next to her – or when his shoulders had gotten so broad.

Feeling how hands wrapped around her waist, she pulled away a little, looking at him with the silent question in her eyes. As he nodded once again, she let go and took his left hand, guiding him to the shower booth furthest away from the door.

They silently looked at each other for a while.

She looked into his eyes, grabbing hold of his wrists to gently trace the way the veins on his forearms lost themselves at his elbow, feeling how he shuddered under the innocent touch, so different when it was her doing the touching. She couldn't do anything else than stare at him, taking in his reactions as she quietly smiled at him. Letting go with one of her hands, she turned on the shower, trying to get the temperature right as he kissed her once again, holding her head in his hands.

It took less than a moment for them to get drenched in the way too warm water as her blouse started clinging to her body. She wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling the fabric of his shirt clinging to him as well as she couldn't do anything other than wish it wasn't there to build a barrier between her and the man she held so dearly as their tongues fought a war that would never be won.

"Tell me if you need me to stop," she whispered breathlessly as they let go for a second, pressing a kiss to his cheek afterwards, slowly moving downwards until she reached the collar of his shirt, pulling it down a little to kiss his collarbone as he tilted his head to give her more space, letting his hands wander downwards to ground himself with gripping her hips. A soft and shaky exhale was all he said as he nodded slowly, not telling her to stop.

Steam filled the shower as they couldn't care less about the water going down on their skin as Momo felt her raven hair stick to her forehead, the clothes letting her feel restricted and heavy. Her other hand that was still on his back, moved down a little to snake underneath the wet fabric, feeling the soft and still muscular flesh on his back as his grip on her hips tightened.

"You can touch me," she quickly explained, her kisses wandering upwards again as she faintly noted that she'd left a mark on his collarbone that only filled her with pride as she reached his lips again. Their kiss still tasted like waffles and sugar and hot chocolate, but it didn't matter at all as he let his hands wander upwards to stroke over her shoulder blades, letting her release a rather frustrated sigh as she pulled away a little, taking his hands to guide them underneath her blouse. She watched as he awkwardly nodded at her, kissing her cheek as he did the same motion as before, but underneath the fabric.

And even though she'd never thought this would happen, she let out a gasp at the feel of his calloused and rough hands on her bare back, the feeling so unusual for her, still she couldn't seem to get enough as she kissed him once again, leaning forwards to pull them together tightly until her chest was flush to his – it…it wasn't close enough.

That's the only thing she knew.

She pulled away again, looking up at him, losing herself in aqua and stone as there was nothing more beautiful she could've thought about. Nothing meant more to her than being able to look into these wonderful eyes when she let go of a kiss, making his gaze go hazy as she knew he lost himself as well.

"Can I…Can I take this off?" she then asked, pulling at the hem of his shirt.

He looked at her, biting his lower lip before he nodded and pulled the wet and sticky fabric over his head while she looked him over, knowing that it wasn't the first time she'd seen him shirtless after they'd done a training session in the pool during summer, yet…this- this was so different.

It seemed like the world stopped spinning as she looked up to him, waging his reaction as she slowly moved her hands from his back to the muscles defining his front, feeling him shiver under her touch. She stopped, waiting for him to nod once again before she kissed his collarbone, moving her hands on the soft skin beneath her fingers- How come he was so soft when he was such a fighter?

How come he was this warm when he tried to act so cold while pushing her away?

"Do you…Do you want to take this off as well?" he asked quietly, making her look at him as he cupped her cheek, motioning at her shirt.

Her hesitance was gone, washed away like the pain and regret they'd experienced today, letting her take a tiny step back while she pulled it over her head, struggling as the fabric wasn't easy to deal with. He quickly helped her, throwing it to the floor afterwards as she tried to observe his reaction, the soft white fabric of her bra being the only thing keeping her covered as he shouldn't be too surprised at the view as everyone'd seen at least a little of her skin when she was wearing her hero costume, yet the adoration and hesitance in his eyes told her everything she needed to know as she held his hands once again, guiding them towards the lacy fabric while she was unspeakably thankful for wearing something relatively pretty while she also couldn't care less at the same time – it was a confusing feeling to say the least. She was drenched in water, her long hair sticking to her body as she'd opened up the ponytail she'd been wearing over the day as he looked at her like she was his biggest treasure.

As he was gently squeezing her breasts through the fabric, she averted her gaze while letting out a shaky breath at the feeling of him touching her like this.

"I love you," she whispered, feeling how he pressed another kiss to her lips and then to her cheek afterwards as he let one of his hands wander to her back once again, and she lost her breath at the anticipation at him possibly wanting to open the last piece of fabric obstructing him from touching her bare breast. The anticipation turned to dust as he let his hand wander downwards again, holding onto her hip.

"I'm scared of saying it," he replied quietly, and she understood. Everything he wanted to tell her with that – he…he loved her as well, yet he couldn't say it out loud. The same as it was for her for a long, long time.

"That's okay," she whispered, guiding his hand upwards herself until it rested on the clasp keeping her bra closed, "If you…If you want to, you can touch them."

His hand on her back closed into a fist for a second before he kissed her once again, passionately and long while she buried her hands in his drenched hair, all air pushed out of her lungs as she felt him fiddle with the clasp. She should've known this wasn't the easiest task if you weren't experienced in putting them on day after day.

Letting go of the back of his neck, she moved her arms around and opened the clasp herself, looking at his facial expression once again as he slowly, hesitantly, moved the straps over her shoulders until he could pull the fabric off without problem.

He was quiet, then, and she was scared about what he thought – Was she…Was she too chubby after all? Unattractive? It wouldn't surprise her-

"You're beautiful," he whispered, kissing her once again as she pressed herself to him, goose bumps forming on her arms as she felt skin on skin, the feeling so overwhelming she didn't know what to even think or say as she held onto him.

"Do you…" she started breathlessly, "Do you really think so?"

"Yeah," he answered, his left hand on her back coming up to hold the back of her head as he kissed her, his right hand slowly tracing the side of her torso, intensifying the goose bumps as she realized just how close he was to touching her… there, "You're the most beautiful being on this planet."

She held onto him, feeling the way his muscles stretched throughout his back, the water beating down on them not stopping her in her task of feeling his flesh under her fingertips as she slowly started to understand that this wonderful being in her arms was going to be her husband. The man she was going to live her life with, the man she was going to love, whose children she was going to carry and raise and with whom she was going to grow old and her tears only got stronger as she burrowed her face in his shoulder, pulling him in closer.

"Are you crying?" he asked when a sob rippled through her, gently moving his hands to her face to be able to look at her better.

"Yeah," she replied, chuckling quiety while she analyzed the way his dual colored hair was clinging to his forehead while she was clinging to his back, " I'm so proud of you – we're… we're here together, touching and loving and I'd say I don't believe this is real, but I know it is because I can feel you and- I'm so sorry for crying today and messing all of this up so much. I'm yours," she said, feeling how her fingernails dug into his back.

He looked at her, quietly for a while as he wiped the tears from her face, before he kissed her once again.

"You're mine," he whispered, "I'm sorry for being such an idiot."

Her breath escaped her as she darted forward to capture his lips with hers, hooking one of her legs on his hip, the movement restricted by her pants.

She wasn't cold anymore, that was for sure. She was hot, incredibly so.

"Say that again," she asked of him.

"What? That I'm an idiot?" his hoarse voice answered her.

She shook her head.

"You're mine, Yaoyorozu Momo," he said, holding her up at her upper leg while she jumped lightly.

He caught her, setting her down against the white tiles of the shower wall, the cold on her back contrasting the warmth radiating from him and the hot water from the shower, building the same beautiful contrast that the boy in front of her was.

This was everything. This was nothing she'd expected to ever be doing with him – it wasn't anything he would have believed to happen either, probably, but it didn't matter, she supposed, when they were here, and they were touching even though he'd been afraid of intimacy, breaking down at having his hand hold – they were here, kissing in the showers of the girls dormitory, half naked after the most terrible day of both of their lives, while nothing mattered except that moment.

And she didn't care that this love might lead to pain, that it might hurt both of them in the end –

They were here, and they were in love.

She loved him, and he loved her.

She was his, and he was hers.

That's all that mattered.

"I definitely need to shower again tomorrow," she whispered when they were changing their clothes, turned away from each other, "Showering with clothes kind of doesn't do the job. But warming up worked, didn't it?"

"As long as you're warm, yes," he answered her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind her as he set his head down on her shoulder, "I'm happy."

She smiled, understanding that he meant to say that he was happy in general, and knowing what he felt let a rock fall of her chest that she didn't know even existed.

"About what?" she asked, just to make sure to try and find out if he was really going to talk to her now. If he was really going to be honest about the way he was feeling and why. She could only support him if she knew what was wrong.

"You," he said quietly, almost unhearable if he wasn't so close to her ear, "I'm happy it's you I'm going to marry, I'll tell you once again because that hasn't changed even though I'm an idiot who's letting you go."

"I know," she answered, voice just as quiet, "I can feel it. I love you, and I'm all yours."

"I know," his hands gently traced over her belly, sending shivers down her spine once again, "I don't…I can't see the progress I've made. I…I wouldn't know if I got better if it wasn't for you showing me all of this- this touch, this…I don't know, what did we even do tonight?"

She chuckled quietly, putting her hands in his.

"I think that would best be called 'making out' but we also lost a little clothing so I'm not sure…"

"A little clothing?" he teased, huffing before letting go of her, leaving nothing but emptiness behind, "We were half…"

"Yeah, but-" she cleared her voice, "We didn't do much more either. I only know that this was what it feels like to love- because I couldn't imagine anything more intimate and lovely, except maybe the real deal, but… let's not talk about that yet."

"I agree. This is…so much, and," he retraced his hands as he spun her around, her pajama already put on fully while he was still shirtless, letting her lose her breath once again, "I never thought I'd ever be able to…to feel this way about someone."

And even though he didn't say the three words, even though he didn't tell her he loved her, she understood that it was exactly what he meant as he bashfully looked away from her.

"I won't let you go again," he whispered, smiling at her, the smile not reaching his eyes fully, "I didn't lie when I proposed to you, I meant what I said. I'll…I chose you. I didn't fight my father when he asked me to sign- I hesitated, yes, I did, but I didn't fight it. And it took me way too long to realize that it was because it was you."

She smiled at him, her heart in awe as she just looked at him and knew that if the look she was giving him delivered just a quarter of her adoration for him, he'd feel it too.

He chose her as well. Subconsciously. Just like she had done, back then.

They were two kids, thrown together by a crazy twist of fate, with this world a storm taking them apart again and again, but all they needed to do was rebuild the little house of cards they'd started building that night in which he fell asleep in her arms.

The way was hard, the way was full of setbacks, that's what she learned from this day – but just because you were set back a few days…

It didn't mean there was no way of getting even further ahead of that.

She wasn't cold anymore, couldn't be when he was here, and she understood that even though the icy shell he'd built up wasn't melted completely…she had the chance to look underneath it.

There was no need to break that shell- there was no need to change who he was. He just needed normalcy, he needed something to hold onto and even though he pushed her away at the same time, she understood.

He was a child, even younger than her, left alone by everyone that could've given him love, abused by a person that should've taught him to live, and that left scars.

Scars so deep she couldn't heal them fully, because even over time, they only faded slowly.

But that was okay, she loved him either way, and-

"I know," she started, her voice quiet as she looked down, "I know there's going to be a rocky and heavy road ahead of us, but I'm confident we can do this. Today…only taught us how to make it better. You…You can talk to me, about everything. And I need you to know that. Repeat it. No matter what you think is wrong, even if you don't know it- You can't hurt me, you can't bring me down, so tell me all of it. Get it off your chest and I'll replace the hurt with love, until there's not a single thing left in your mind, okay?"

He took a deep breath, before exhaling slowly and deeply before he pressed a peck on her forehead.

"I don't…I don't know what I did to deserve you," he whispered while her smile turned a little wider as she looked up to him, "When…When you said that the day we went to visit my mother…I asked myself what crime you must've committed in your past life to end up with someone like me."

She inhaled shakily, nodding at him to show him she heard before she laid her hands down on his bare chest, tracing his collarbones with her pointer finger. "I think I must've saved the world."

He huffed, shaking his head, "I don't think so."

"Well, I do," she smiled up at him, "You're the most wonderful human being I could've ever dreamed to meet. And you're mine, my boyfriend, my fiancée, soon my husband."

"We're too young for any of this," he whispered, looking to the floor.

"Of course we are," she replied, not stopping in her rhythmic motions on his collarbones, "but that's how it is. And I wouldn't change it for a thing in this world."

"Even…if you could've gotten someone…easier? Happier?"

"What?" she said dryly, "Someone like Awase?" he nodded while she shook her head once again, "No, Shouto, I'm happiest when I'm around you."

"I can't imagine that," he whispered, biting his lower lip.

"It's a very simple reason," she said, moving her hands up to cup his cheeks to make him look at her, "It's because I love you."

He didn't stop biting his lip as he averted her gaze thoughtfully, "Why?"

She huffed, making him look at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"You're mysterious, with that icy shell you'd hidden beneath from the start, you're bold, you're mean and have literally no manners if there's not a really important reason for you to follow them, you don't respect people who haven't earned your respect, you're strong because it's all you ever learned, yet I get to see the side of you that allows itself to be weak for once when you fall asleep in my arms, holding onto me while I cling to you just the same – Life wasn't fair to you, this world wasn't fair to you, throwing rocks in your way when you haven't even started to walk – and – and I don't know how or when it happened, but those are all things that I just adore about you. There's so much more I'm getting to know, so much hurt hidden beneath all of that exterior, and I can't get myself to dislike any of it. I love you, and I love everything you were, everything you are and everything you're going to be."

He finally looked back at her while she stared into his eyes and right into the deepest parts of his soul.

Wrapping his arms around her, he burrowed his face in her neck and she could feel how he shook while her hands found the way to the back of his neck, holding him close when she knew he had to process the words first.

"I'll marry you, Shouto, and nothing is going to change that," she whispered.

"I hope you won't regret that, Momo," he answered, his voice hoarse.

"I won't," she answered, playing with red and white hair.

This day had been terrible in so many different ways – but…it was a step forward, in her eyes. Because even though they'd both made mistakes, they talked it through, and now they were here, wrapped in each others arms.

Even if their house of cards crumbled and fell down in itself-

They just had to build it up to be more beautiful than before.

Notes:

Hehe, I told you it would be steamier, and it meaned a whole lot even though there wasn't much happening compared to normal relationships, yet...it means a whole freaking lot, here, somehow.

I also hope Aizawa was at least a little in character, I mean it was super late and he was super tired so the all-explaining talk will be in the next chapter.

I really hope you liked it! Have a great day and feel free to yell at me on tumblr and/or in the comments here!

Chapter 26: I'm the slow dying flower in the frost killing hour

Summary:

My Skin - Natalie Merchant

Father, oh father mine, reflect and reveal how you shattered my soul.
Brother, oh brother mine, why do I recognize you now?

Notes:

Hello! :D

If anyone didn't notice, it's bnha angst week, and crash, of course, fit into one of the prompts, so...here you have it.
Day two: rain / cold.

Also a trigger warning: Panic attacks, and mention of suicide.

I'll go hide now.

Enjoy! *nervous chuckling*

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Alright, explain," Aizawa started the discussion. They were sitting in the student-teacher lounge, a small couch standing in front of two chairs, as their teacher had taken one of the chairs, letting both of his students sit on the couch, "What's that about quirk marriage? And being late for curfew?"

The kids in front of him were fidgeting, the raven haired's face turning bright red as she stole glances at the dual-quirk wielder next to her, who did well at staring at a point somewhere behind Aizawa.

"We.. " Yaoyorozu started, "It's…Yes, we're in a quirk marriage. It is arranged and Shouto and I will get married in April," she looked at the boy sitting next to her, "Yesterday…was a consequence of terrible misunderstandings and even worse coincidences. It… won't happen again. We talked it through and solved all misunderstandings."
"In April?" Aizawa then asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest, "Quirk marriages aren't legal anymore. Marriage itself only when the man has reached the legal age of eighteen. How? Why? Are you being forced into this?"

Shouto huffed, before Momo started, "It's…difficult. And… out of free will might've been a little stretched at the start. But…it's okay now. It's fine now."

"What do you mean with 'it's fine now'?" he asked, "Did your parents…Did Endeavor.. " he looked at Todoroki, "…force you into a quirk marriage? Do you want me to intervene?"

"No," Shouto replied slowly, looking at Momo, "… he… he didn't…do anything."
The raven haired girl furrowed her eyebrows. Aizawa watched how she put a hand on the dual haired boys leg, making him look at her, "Why…Why are you saying that, Shouto?" she whispered.
Aizawa understood.

He should've known better than to think the now number one hero wouldn't do the same thing he'd done with his wife back then. Even if they said it hadn't been a quirk marriage, the dark haired pro hero had always guessed that much. Another one of the reasons he'd been keeping an eye on Endeavor's third son.

"What do you think of Endeavor?" Aizawa asked, trying to catch their reactions.

And even though Todoroki's eyebrow only twitched, the teacher could see the change in Yaoyorozu's demeanor at the mention of the fire hero – how she went stiff, her hold on Todoroki's leg turning a lot stronger while she scooted closer to the boy next to her.
There had been incidences in which Aizawa had thought about the possibility – of the horrific chance that the terrible theory he had about the aloof child in his class, acting all cold and distant, could be true. His refusal to use his fire side in battle, the way he looked when he finally let go and used the flames – the way he flinched at bigger people approaching him. He really wished it wasn't true. And no matter how indifferent the dual haired boy tried to look, the girl next to him told it all without saying a word.

"Todoroki," he started once again, getting the boys attention as he blinked at him expressionlessly, "What's your father like, at home? Not as a hero, but at home?"

The younger one averted his gaze, looking at nothing specific as Yaoyorozu moved so she could hold his hand, the tender gesture not being too surprising to the pro hero as he watched the kids with hawks eyes. Saw, how the younger boy looked at the girl in front of him, the question visible in his eyes as she nodded slowly and carefully. Todoroki sighed, then, before he looked back at their teacher.

"He trained me to be the ultimate weapon to beat All Might so I could carry the Todoroki name to number one from the day my quirk developed. I was raised in isolation and haven't seen my mother or siblings in over ten years before I got the chance to reconnect with them only recently. He trapped the Yaoyorozu's in a deal to save their business during the economy crash ten years ago," the dual haired's gaze wandered towards the girl next to him once again, "The price was that their daughter and I are to marry once we're twenty. But…" he swallowed, "because of some complications the wedding date was changed, leading us to marry in April."

Aizawa took a deep breath, then, looking back and forth between the two kids sitting in front of him. That's what they were. Children. And he could never understand how and why anyone would do that to their children –

"Did he hurt you?" was all he asked, knowing that he looked as impassive as ever as he felt like he could combust with the anger slowly building up inside him.

The only reaction the boy gave him was a sign of his hesitance as he chewed on his lips. Looking at Yaoyorozu, he got his answer as she looked at their teacher. Worry and the silent question in her eyes, 'Will you help us?' that he could understand oh so well. He didn't hesitate as he nodded, earning himself an understanding nod and a sad smile from the girl opposite him.

"He did," she whispered, holding onto the boy sitting next to her who wasn't fazed at her revelation at all. They seemed to
trust each other very much, then.

Aizawa swallowed.

Todoroki was being, or had been abused by his father, the number one hero, Endeavor.

"What can I do?" he asked, knowing that all he'd advise them with wouldn't be able to help them if they didn't want the help themselves, "Do you want me to take action? Get you out of there? Are your siblings still living there?"
Then the most important question, "Do you want me to break up the engagement?"

"No," they both quickly said, Yaoyorozu's more shocked than Todoroki's who only looked at him with a frown on his face, "Not the engagement," Yaoyorozu then added, "Shouto?"
"Mh?" the dual haired asked back.
"Do you want to get out of there? Out of this house?" she asked, taking their long intertwined hands to lay them down in her lap.

"No," he answered then, quietly, "It's…getting better, I guess? He's trying, kind of…but it also," he sighed again, then, "It also makes everything worse."

"Is that…" she asked, just as quiet, "Is that why you suddenly…after Christmas…?"
"Yeah," he nodded, "My brain's so messed up I can't understand if he's trying or if he's the same. I don't know. I think he's trying, my sister said so, but…it's hard to believe."

"We can also do it like this," Aizawa intervened, "You can think about it. And if there's anything you decide, you can come to me anytime, is that clear?"
Both of them nodded at that.

"Just one question," Yaoyorozu then said, the redness returning to her cheeks, "Is there a possibility we can keep my last name as Yaoyorozu in the school files? At least for now. I mean…our classmates…they'll be shocked, won't they?" she quickly turned around to Todoroki, "I want to take on your last name, you know that, it's just easier for school, isn't it?"

"I know, I agree," Todoroki then replied, a tiny smile back on his face that their teacher did not get to see often if at all. School wasn't the most smile-motivating after all, he knew that.

"I think we can do that," Aizawa then said, "I'll talk to the principal about it, if that's okay with you? There's no exception for you from curfew, though. I'll let it slide for this once, but not again, okay?"

Once again, both of them nodded.

"Good. Now, go. Let me sleep."

Shouto's heart was warm, even though he'd have to tell his teacher a few things about his childhood and upbringing – the warm hand holding him steady keeping him calm.

It had been a while, now, since they'd told Aizawa. Nothing much changed, except the sudden questions of 'Is everything alright?' that awaited them whenever their teacher caught them alone somewhere.
The grumpy, sleepy, dark haired teacher seemed to have a soft spot for his students after all.
It had taken a while for him to completely calm down after their…miscommunication incident, as he noticed he clung to her a lot whenever he had the chance.

She didn't seem to mind, though, and that always managed to put a tiny little smile on his lips.
He'd…He'd never wanted to make her cry. He'd never wanted to see her sad, like his mother had always been.
There was no way he could ever understand how she could be so understanding, so forgiving to the demons in his head that made it impossible for him to think straight. His evening had been terrible, the lump in his throat making it impossible to talk to the people around him. Midoriya had asked him of everything was okay. It clearly wasn't, after all. And once he'd said on his bed, violently running his hair, he realized he had to make it okay again. He didn't know where she was, or what she was thinking as he let her go and-

He didn't want to let her go. He loved her. They'd marry soon and he… he was just an idiot.
When she cried on the phone, his heart broke.

When she told him she loved him – his heart mended itself together while the pain didn't leave of at all because he knew he couldn't say it back.

Not after what he'd caused, not after how much he'd hurt her.

Yet, she kissed him.

Yet, she loved him.

He did not understand how she could love him, even after she'd explained.
Even after they fully made out in the showers and he'd seen her- he couldn't possibly understand.
Still, he felt it.

He felt the love she delivered, the warmth of her touching his skin as no one had ever done that before, sending chills down his spine while he couldn't do anything but fall into this quiet dance with her until the water ran cold. Her skin on his. His on hers – it was…fascinating, loving and he couldn't do anything else but see what she meant when she said she was proud of him.

When they'd met he was scared of kissing her, breaking down at the hold of a nice woman on his hand – he was too scared to even think about the love they'd shared tonight.
No, she hadn't shared her love with him.

She'd made it possible that is was the only thing he knew when he held her in his arms, feeling her soft skin underneath his fingertips. It was almost unfair how beautiful she was – yet he couldn't do anything but feel the pride in his veins as he knew, as he understood and repeated it - She was his.

She was his and he was the only one that would ever touch her like that – it… it made him realize how freaking lucky he was to have her.

When he thought about all of the things, all of the other terrible ways this could've turned out, his heart clenched painfully in his chest, yet, he couldn't care about other outcomes anymore.
She was here, even after he'd messed up. She loved him, even after he'd pushed her away.
She kissed him even though he was afraid of intimacy.

The most beautiful being, in and out, insisted on being his, despite all of his faults and cracks and issues – stayed for the things he hated about himself.

Looking at her, he couldn't stop himself from pecking her temple. She jolted, quickly looking at him with wide eyes.
"Yaoyorozu and Todoroki?! When-" Mineta interrupted furiously, his head turning red as he pointed at the couple in front of him.

Well, maybe he shouldn't have kissed her in the common room while they were sitting on the couches, the explosive tutoring Bakugou gave in the background turning quiet as Ashido dolted up from her seat.
"When did you betray me like this, Todoroki!" Mineta then yelled as Shouto only looked at the small boy a few feet away from them, blinking slowly as he tried to understand why his classmate reacted like that. In which way was Shouto supposed to betray him?

"Not the Yaoyorozu boob-" Shouto's eyes widened as he seemed to understand. This pervert thought he might- "Shut up, grape, or you'll be frozen to the floor," Bakugou replied nonchalantly, looking at the dual haired boy in front of him with a frown on his face before he nodded.

Their extra lessons for their provisional licenses may have showed him that even though the blonde was explosive he wasn't a bad guy at all, only a little…rough on the outside.

He then looked at the girl next to him on the couch that had been concentrated on whatever she was talking about with her friends before he'd suddenly and with zero warning put a kiss on her temple. Now he realized the girls were all looking at him while a slight pink tint had found the way to his fiancée's cheeks.

"Sorry," he then said, looking at the wall in front of him, wishing he hadn't done anything. Couldn't the floor just swallow him? Why was he like this? So awkward.

"It's okay," she replied, and he could hear the smile in her voice before he saw it. When he turned to look at her, she leaned over to him, using his leg as leverage as she pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose.
He felt how his cheeks grew a little warmer as well, quickly suppressing the redness with his ice side.

"As class president I cannot accept-"

"Shut up, robo-hands," Bakugou replied, his argument supported by Kaminari that started to laugh out loud, "Let them have their moment."

"Woah, what am I seeing here?" Kaminari then asked, "Bakugou Katsuki, the explosive defender of romance?"

"Shut up, sparky," the red eyed only retorted, going back to solving his calculus problem as Kirishima grinned widely, shaking his head with crossed arms while he observed the blonde.

Yes, Shouto had…found out about different kinds of relationships. Accidentally. Awkwardly. But he'd found out as he accidentally looked at the name the red haired had been saved under in Bakugou's phone – and he could never unsee it.

'Eijirou,' A name. Not a nickname, not a last name, but a first name. And when Shouto had asked him about it, his only answer was an explosion right next to his face that told him this topic was over. He had never asked about it again.

"Right, Pikachu, don't get yourself in trouble," Jirou then intervened from her spot on the other side of Momo on the couch. Midoriya and Iida were sitting on the couch angled to his right while Momo was sitting to his left, long having let go of him again to continue chatting about the newest tea her parents had sent her with Aoyama that was sitting opposite them.

"How's…it going?" Midoriya asked him then, looking at him with a face so serious Shouto automatically knew what it was about, "After you…made progress."

"They did?" Iida asked interestedly, pushing his classes back, having recovered from being interrupted by their explosive classmate.

"Good," Shouto replied, looking at the raven haired girl next to him for another moment, trying his best not to smile at how giddy and passionate she was while talking about something like tea – knowing that he was one of her passions made him feel special, somehow. If she told her friends all they did together? He blinked quickly, turning his attention back to his green haired friend as he realized he didn't want an answer to that question, "We're…doing things…together."
"Things?" Iida questioned while Midoriya slowly turned red, blinking quickly while chuckling nervously, "What kind of things?"
"Well-" Shouto started, yet Midoriya interrupted him while quickly nodding.
"I'm glad you're slowly progressing," he said, "We- Oh god, just don't- You- I trust Yaomomo to know what you're doing."
"Wait," Iida then said, looking at the dual haired boy pointedly, "Don't tell me you're having intercou-"
"That's nothing we should care about!" Midoriya quickly intervened, moving his hands in a denying motion while Shouto only blinked at them.
He hadn't said a thing, after all. He only said 'things' not- Well.

It's not like he cared too much about what they thought they were doing.

It was obvious they were in a relationship now, though, and that was completely fine with him. It seemed to be the same with her as the redness on her cheeks slowly faded.

Well, she'd said she loved him after all.

Again, his heart turned warm at the thought of that.

Looking out of the window, he realized how dark it'd gotten outside, as he ran a hand through his hair, before looking at it with a slight smile on his face.

He looked at the ring she'd gotten him for his birthday. Simple, silver, but their names were engraved on the inside – and that was all that mattered to him.

No one had asked him about it, and he didn't think they would, still too intimidated to ask.

Everything was going well, he thought, as he looked at the girl next to him, saw the glimmer in her eyes as she passionately talked about what she liked.

Everything was going well.

"Woah, guys," Sero then said from his place right in front of the TV, "Isn't that Dabi from the league?"
Blinking a few times, Shouto looked at the TV, quickly analyzing the scene, the black haired villain standing right in front of-
Endeavor, his father.

It was quiet around them all of a sudden as the dual haired concentrated fully on what happened on the other side of the screen.

He could only faintly notice the hand that quickly found its way to his, quickly interlacing their fingers.
And when flames overtook the screen, she took his other hand as well tightly wrapping it in hers.

"Endeavor," the black haired villain said mockingly, chuckling in a breathy way that put the chills on Shouto's skin. He didn't know if he was even blinking as he stared at the events slowly playing out at a place far away, "Todoroki Enji."
Shouto swallowed.

"Who…Who are you?" the flame hero asked.
He seemed fine, his father. A little exhausted, but fine.

"Why…Do I know you?" his father then added.
The villain started chuckling once again, the quiet sound slowly turning into full out laughter.

"You should, mister number one hero," the black haired replied, "I'd be devastated if you forgot about me and my weak icy physique-"

"That's…" Endeavor's eyes widened as his voice seemed so quiet, completely untypical to his dual haired son, "You're dead."

Shouto's eyes widened.

This isn't possible.

It can't be.

This-

He-

"Yeah, well," the villain then smirked, "I guess that didn't work out in your favor then."

Why did it… suddenly get so cold?

"Shouto," Momo whispered, yet he could only really hear the pumping of his heart in his ears as it quickened and quickened-

He was dead.

He was supposed to be dead.

"If we're talking about broken things – how's the masterpiece? Didn't recognize me last time. Do you think he's watching?" Dabi then looked at the camera and Shouto's heart seemed to stop beating for a moment, "He's the same as me, isn't he?"
Then the villain smiled.
A sick and twisted…smile.

The hands around Shouto's tightened as he heard his name, again and again.
"Tell them, masterpiece," Dabi spit, "Tell them how he broke us."

The smile disappeared for a second then, before it returned politely, the hate still visible in his eyes.
"Little brother," the dead skin around his eyes crinkled with his grin, "Shouto."

Shouto froze.

He couldn't hear a thing, his heartbeat too loud – everything was too loud, but he also couldn't hear, yet it was so loud.

Why couldn't it just he quiet?

Was he the same? He grew up the same.

His brother was a villain.

Was he evil, too?

It was so cold. He couldn't move-

This-

Why was this happening to him?

Why was it all like this?

Couldn't he just- be happy- for once?

His heartbeat got faster.
His eyes tried to close yet even blinking was too much.

It got colder and colder.

The cold was good.
The cold was nice.

He knew the cold, he knew the snowfield.

Where were the footsteps?

Why were they gone?

He had been a child, stumbling in footsteps way too big for him, in a snowfield too deep to cross – but why-
Why had the footsteps disappeared? Why was he all alone in this terrible snowfield and why was he so cold, he felt like he was freezing and where was the hand that had been reached out to him-

Where was Momo, why couldn't he see or feel her? She was gone, she wasn't here- he was alone, he was freezing in this storm and he'd never find a way out-

Why couldn't it all…just end?

"Todoroki!" without any warning, without him understanding what was happening, the cold disappeared, his teachers voice familiar to him as he snapped his eyes open.
He gasped for air as he slowly came to understand what was happening.

"I've got you," he heard Momo whisper as he felt her arms around him, water all around them – why was he…why was he sitting in the tub with her holding him close as he slowly unfroze in the warmth of the water around him? "I've got you. It's okay," she went on, running her hands through his hair as he felt his breath hitch once again, recognizing the burning sensation of fresh tears prod at the corners of his eyes as he buried his face at her collarbone.

He was shaking while he faintly realized how his arms wrapped around the girl in front of him, clinging to her as he sobbed.
This couldn't be true.

Had he really…broken down in the common room? He could never face them again.

"We'll be right there," she whispered quietly, obviously talking to their teacher as Shouto slowly, slowly calmed down.
Her hand on his back traced soothing circles and was the only thing he concentrated on while he caught his breath, still interrupted by hiccups, "I'm here," she whispered, "I'll always be here."

"Yeah," he nodded, "I know," his voice was muffled by her shoulder yet he knew she understood.
The water was warm around them as her sweater clang to her body, his hands on her back bunching the material as he closed them into fists.

"Touya," he whispered, taking another deep breath to somehow work around the lump in his throat, "he's alive."
"I know," she whispered, slowly pulling away to look at his face, dipping her hand in the water before gently wiping the tears from his face, "I…dreamed of it."

"You did?" he sniffed, trying to hide his face again. She put a hand on his chest to keep him at a distance in which she could observe him further.
Slowly, she traced the lines of his jaw with her finger, then the way healthy skin turned scarred as he stared at her onyx eyes, completely in trance as shallow hiccups rippled through his chest, "I would've told you if I had known. I… I always wished it was just a dream, nothing more."

"I…I don't blame you," he whispered, "So much is wrong with this fucking family."
He blinked, looking at the ceiling as she leaned forward, pressing her lips on his, putting her hand to his cheek again as he finally realized she was shaking as well.

"I love you, Shouto," she whispered against his lips, "Do you understand that?"
He nodded quietly, closing his eyes.

"No, open your eyes," she said and he blinked at her, breathing slowly getting easier, "Repeat it after me. I love you. No matter who your brother is. No matter who your father is. I love you and you alone."
He swallowed.

"You love me," his voice broke.
"I do," she nodded.

He looked at her, staring into those beautiful eyes that gave him such warmth he forgot about everything that had happened, that he'd broken down in front of everyone, that he was sitting here in the tub after he'd frozen himself after he'd recognized his older brother that was supposed to be dead-

Taking a deep breath, he calmed his nerves, blinking a few times to finally get himself together.

A knock on the door pulled him out of it as she moved, the water overflowing a little.

"Yes?" Momo asked loudly, and they could hear how the person on the other side cleared his voice.

"I've got a change of clothes for you," Midoriya said, sounding very unsure and Shouto was sure he was blushing once again,

"Can I…May I…?"

"Come in," Momo nodded after looking at Shouto for another moment, kissing his cheek before replying.
The door opened, showing both Midoriya and their teacher who'd seemed to be waiting in front of the door in case he was needed.

"How…are you?" Midoriya asked, concern written all over his face as he tried to fake a smile, "I'll just put them right here."

"I…" Shouto said, his voice still a little hoarse as Momo climbed out of the tub, reaching a hand out to him. He took it and let her help him up as he climbed out of the tub, feeling heavy with the drenched clothing, "I guess I'm…fine?"

She reached an arm around his waist to keep him steady even though he was confident he could walk on his own.
He appreciated it a lot either way.

"Fine?" Aizawa then chimed in, "Freezing yourself in the common room is not fine."

"It was just the shock," he replied, his voice more quiet than he wanted it to be, "I thought my brother was dead but then I find out that he's actually a villain that had kidnapped Bakugou and that had said my name back then- I…I should've known."

"Shouto," Momo interrupted, "When did you last see him? Before he…died."

"When I was five? I don't know, I should've remembered him- He- He was- He is- Momo," he interrupted himself over and over again, "Could I have turnt a villain, too?"

The arm around his waist tightened as Midoriya gasped, quickly shaking his head, "Todoroki, you're not evil – I doubt you could've turned around to hate heroes-"

"I'm not sure about that," he only replied while looking to the floor, "He said we're the same. Aren't we? Children of the same trophy father."

He felt a little sting of pain as Momo had boxed his shoulder, making him look at her again, a scowl on her face, "Stop," she whispered.

"Stop what?" he asked quietly. He only said the truth after all.

"We had that discussion before. You're you. And you can decide that yourself. Just because there's someone else around trying to put you into a new role – No, you're Todoroki Shouto, the boy that got over most of his Aphenphosmphobia that had been burned into his mind for so, so many years. You're a hero. A true hero."

"What…do you mean?"
She looked away from him then, taking a deep breath before locking her eyes with his, letting go of his waist to take a step back.

"You can't even see that, can you?" she whispered, shaking her head.
"See what?" he swallowed.

"Back then," she started, "During finals, and afterwards, you…even though you didn't even realize it, you saved me. Saved me from myself and my self-doubts that were taking me apart day by day, making it impossible to eat or breath without feeling hurt and anxious and- I now know," she bit her lip for a second, taking his hand which was wearing the simple but incredibly meaningful silver ring, "I wouldn't be here without you. I wouldn't be trying to become a hero- I…I might even be…" she closed her eyes then as he could feel her starting to shake, "I might even be dead by now!"

"W-…What?" he whispered. Why would she- why would she be-

"I don't know. I- I looked into it- and, if it had gotten any worse- I don't know what I might've done. My world had fallen apart. I was engaged to a stranger, I was unable to become a hero- I…I lost all sense of what I loved in this life," she took another deep breath and he realized how shaky it was, "I thought I was engaged to a stranger while I was so obviously in love with you but I thought I wasn't worth any of that. I couldn't even become a hero after all and- and-"
He wrapped his arms around her, then.

She…had wanted to die, back then. Because she thought she was worthless.
His chest hurt at the thought of that as he did his best to blink the tears away.

"Hey, it's- It's okay-" he tried to say as he felt her sob into his shoulder, "I- I'm sorry. I won't- I'm not- I've got you," he tightened his arms around her, taking one hand to gently cradle the back of her head, "You're worth the world and even more, remember that. You're a hero, you're wonderful, I- I-"

I love you.

It scared him how easy it would've been to say it out loud.

And she needed to hear it.

Yet, her ringtone pulled them out of it as she pulled her phone out of her pocket, being glad that it seemed to be waterproof as she wiped the tears away vigorously, holding onto him as they wouldn't stop flowing before she answered the call.

"Mom?" she said while Shouto looked at the two other people in the room which- weren't there, anymore. When had they left? He hadn't even realized-

"No," he heard her whisper, voice nothing more than a tiny breath as he looked at her worriedly.

Her mother's voice pulled him out of everything he could've been thinking about.

"His son is a villain! Momo, I can't let this man be a part of our family-"

"Mom!"

The grip Momo had on him turned tighter as she pressed herself against his body.

"It's for your own safety."

"There's nothing like this, Mom, please listen to me, you can't-"

"We're already taking care of it. You won't have to marry into this lunatic's family, I promise we'll keep you safe - We won't let you marry Endeavor's son."

Notes:

I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry, but it's very important and necessary, I swear-

Cliffhanger alarm, angst alarm. Sam is making everyone suffer alarm.
Aizawa now knows at least a tiny little bit.
Dabi revealed his identity - Just what could he be planning?
And just what can they do against her mother wanting to break off the engagement?

*clears voice* I'll hide underneath my blankets now.

Feel free to yell at me in the comments or on tumblr!

Have a wonderful week, everyone!

Chapter 27: The key to her heart is that she knows who you are

Summary:

The Key to Her Heart - Reuby

Bound souls, free souls, a melting heart and one on fire -

Where will this storm take them?

Notes:

Surprise, here I am again! Already, yeah, and it's definitely not Saturday yet xD
The next one will be out next Wednesday as well- reason therefore is simple, I'll be flying to the US next Thursday and I'm not sure when or if I'll be able to update so I thought I'd change the schedule up a tiny bit.

Feel free to accept it into angst week once again.

Day 4: Choice / Wish

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Do you…Do you think Endeavor really hurt his children?" Ashido asked quietly, watching her friends as they sat around a table in the common room.

"How could he not? Have you seen Todoroki's reaction? He freaking froze himself," Sero remarked, crossing his arms in front of his chest as Bakugou scribbled on, writing down the step by step instructions to an equation.

"Well, Endeavor was released right away after he was questioned," Kaminari put a hand on his chin in a thoughtful motion, "But he's the number one hero after all. Whose son is a villain. Bakugou, do you think Todoroki's involved with him? You saw them up close during the summer camp."

"Shut up, sparky," Bakugou shook his head, "Who would freeze himself at finding out about his brother looking all scar faced and burnt to a fucking crisp if he knew it beforehand?"

"That's true. I've never seen him break down before. Didn't know that was possible," Kaminari furrowed his brows, laying down his pencil.

"Of course it's possible," Kirishima boxed the honey blonde's shoulder, "We're all just human in the end."

Bakugo scowled as he stared at what he'd just written down, sighing as he laid the pencil down.

"Kirishima's right. And x1 is 5, x2 minus 6."

The car ride was quiet as their teacher drove them to the Yaoyorozu estate on a Friday afternoon. Shouto and Momo were taking the backseat of the dark car as neither of them dared to look at the other, the anxiety about the things that were going to happen too much for them.

She would start crying if she looked at him, that much she was sure of. This…Her mother hadn't let her speak. She'd only demanded they come here today; no matter if there were extra courses or lessons they'd have to partake in. Momo was shaking as she took a deep breath.

This wasn't possible. She would not let that happen.

Yet…what was she supposed to do? There was nothing she could change – whatever her parents decided – as she was still a minor.

Ironic, wasn't it? That they'd been forced into being adults when they were still that young, yet once something happened they weren't allowed to do a single thing.

Looking out of the window, Momo fidgeted with her hands. Aizawa wasn't really talking to them, and it was okay like this as Momo couldn't get her thoughts together.

They couldn't do this. She was going to marry Shouto. There was nothing that would change that. She'd promised him that.

Why…was this happening?

What sick twist of fate wanted to tear them apart now?

She couldn't let go of him. If she did, it would all burn. Her dreams told her that again and again. Her nerves wouldn't calm down as the nervous feeling she'd had turned into pure fear. She was afraid of meeting her parents. They weren't allowed to blow the marriage off. The consequences for their business would be too terrible. The consequences for Momo's heart would be too much. She wasn't sure how or what they would tell them today but Momo knew she wouldn't be able to go on. Not like this.

"I'll wait outside," Aizawa said once they parked in the driveway of the mansion as both teenagers in the back nodded at him, "You…will be okay?"

Silence greeted the black haired teacher that nodded once, understanding their wordless message.

After knocking once, Ari opened the door, letting them come in as Momo could already hear the voice of Shouto's father arguing with her mother. Chills ran down her spine as she stopped in her tracks, looking at the maid next to her.

"This…" she whispered, "This can't be happening. Please tell me it's just a nightmare."

"I wish I could, little one," Ari's voice broke as she held out a hand to the raven haired girl, gently laying it down on her shoulder. Momo couldn't have thought it possible that such a simple touch could ground her that much in its simplicity.

"Thank you," she looked up at the grey haired woman who nodded at her, the concern still visible on her face, "I…I can do this."

She then turned around to Shouto who looked away quickly. Taking his cold hand, she made him lock eyes with her, "We can do this."

Momo wasn't sure when 'being okay with marrying Shouto' had turned to 'wanting to marry Shouto' but she couldn't find herself to care.

Biting her lip, she let go of his hand as he just blinked at her.

She was very sure he was bottling everything up once again, unable to speak and say what he felt.

"I love you," she told him, realizing how he only nodded in response.

Entering the great hall had never been more nerve-wrenching, Momo realized as Ari opened the door for them, the raven haired entering first while she saw her mother getting up. The older woman almost ran towards her, taking her hand and tugging her to the other side of the table, taking her away from the boy she loved and Momo couldn't do anything other than reach out a hand for him that he didn't even try to take.

Her heart broke at that.

"Shouto, come here," Endeavor started, mimicking to the chair next to him as Momo was pulled to the one opposite it. Her fiancée slowly walked to his father, sitting down in the chair while staring at the table. The action reminded Momo way too much of the first time they'd met here, in the lounge as they had to get out of there-

They still had to, didn't they? But her mother wouldn't let her go, as she held onto her daughter's hand with a vice grip that Momo knew stopped her circulation.

"We're breaking this contract," her mother then started, looking at her husband who was still sitting at the head of the table, "If this isn't a serious transgression, I don't know what is."

"Mom," she pleaded quietly, yet her mother ignored her every word, "Please-"

"This man has raised a psychopathic villain, how are we supposed to know that the other one's better?"

"Mom!" she tried once again, getting louder this time as her mother only shook her head.

"You're just a kid, you don't know what's best for you," the older Yaoyorozu replied, "We just want the best for you."

"This is not what's best for me-" Momo tried before Endeavor started talking.

"I'm agreeing to the breach of contract. There's other ways to pay me back. I can give you the management rights of the factories in Poland and China," the red haired said.

Momo stared at him before she looked at the dual haired boy sitting next to his father who only stared at older one in disbelief.

He looked confused, disoriented and scared at the same time and Momo wanted to hold his hand but her mother pulled her back as she tried to move forward.

"We can't pay that- Not right now," her father interjected, awakening a tiny little glimmer of hope in his daughter, "But…Maybe through another marriage-"

"No!" Momo yelled, finally getting the attention as she saw Shouto's eyes turning wide, her own heart dropping to her feet as it hurt. It all just hurt, "I can't marry anyone else-"

"Did you sleep with him?" her mother then looked at her pointedly as Momo felt the blood freeze in her veins. This- Were they really trying to auction her off? This- They said they only wanted her best.

"No," she breathed in reply, even though she felt the horrific need to lie, to say that she did sleep with him and she can never marry anyone else but she still felt that her parents were going to use that against him all the same.

Shouto wasn't like his father. He wasn't like his brother.

All of the progress they made felt like sand running through her fingers as she somehow tried to keep herself from crying.

"That's good, then. We just want your best, Momo, we don't want to see you with the son of an abuser- How do they say?" her mother then spit, looking at Endeavor before turning towards his son, "He'll be a trophy father's trophy son."

Momo stopped in her tracks.

Her dream. She knew those words.

No. He wasn't like his father- They got it all wrong, how was she- How was she going to show them? How was she going to make them adore him just even a quarter of how much she loved him?

She thought they didn't hate him anymore after Christmas Eve, yet now, only a month later, they wanted to break this whole thing apart?

They wanted to break their daughter apart?

It was at the moment Momo wanted to speak up once again, pleading and arguing for the boy she'd fallen in love with that she witnessed Shouto getting up, ignoring his father saying his name.

There would never be someone else. Not like this. She'd never love anyone the same. How could she? Not with how strongly they connected, after everything they'd gone through-

"Let him go, he's just going to hurt you," her mother said when she struggled against her vice grip, trying to get up to run after him. She couldn't let him go-

If she let go, it would all burn to ashes-

He would fade away in the wind.

This- No-

"Let go!" she yelled, yet her mother only tightened her grip, and the moment Momo planned on using her Quirk to push her mother away, the dual haired boy stopped walking.

Momo turned quiet as she watched him and the situation in front of her unfold.

"I'll handle it. I…I did enough wrong in the way I raised him," Endeavor then said and Momo could almost see remorse in his eyes that only let her scowl. How could he- How could he- "I understand why you do not want your daughter to marry my son, and I'll do the-"

"Why…" Shouto then yelled, taking a deep, deep breath while Momo could hear the cries that he tried to breathe away, "How is it…"

He turned around to the man he was supposed to call his father, seeing the confusion and concern in the older's eyes that Momo knew he just couldn't understand as Shouto's eyes were filled with resent.

"Why do you always take away everything I love?!" his voice broke.

Tears escaped Momo's eyes as she couldn't stop herself from sobbing, using her free hand to wipe away the rain running down her cheeks.

He'd said it.

He had said he loved her.

But why…did it hurt so much, right now? When everything was falling apart, wasn't it supposed to be them keeping it all together?

The silence at the table told her everything as her mother's grip on her arm loosened.

"Can you see this?!" Momo yelled then, yanking her mother's hand away as she used both of hers to somehow keep the tears in check that just wouldn't stop, no matter how hard she tried, "Can you see what you're doing to us? What you're doing to me?"

She looked to her side, realizing how her mother's eyes widened, her father turning small in the armchair he was sitting on as Momo quickly got up.

"You ruined my life once before when you told me I had no say in whoever I was going to marry because of a contract you've signed over ten years ago," a hiccup interrupted her that she tried her best to swallow, "But you know what? I was okay with that, I forgave you for that, because I fell in love with him," she pointed her finger at the dual haired boy standing at the door, looking at her, "I fell in love with Todoroki Shouto! Yes, you heard that right, there's no little crush or whatever you were thinking, because I love this man!"

She saw how Shouto gulped, but she couldn't dwell on that for more than a second as her thoughts seemed to trip over each other, "And he just said he loved me too, did you see that? Can you understand that?" she shook her head, laughing sarcastically before she used her hand to gesture towards the number one hero sitting at her parents dinner table, "You have no idea what you've done to him, mister number one hero. You have no idea how much he struggles because of the shit you've put him through all his life," she then looked at her mother once again, taking her hand down.

"Yes, we haven't slept with each other, but that's not a sign for you to say 'Yes, we can marry her off to someone else', the only reason we freaking haven't is because he's afraid of touch because he's been abused for his quirk alone from the first snowflake he'd produced!"

She cried then, hiding her face in her hands as she couldn't stop the tears from overflowing at all.

"Can you see what you're doing to us? You threw us into that situation, telling us to make the best out of it and fall in love - and it worked, it freaking worked! I want to marry him and I want to carry his children and don't you dare say that he's like his father or you'll never see me in this house of yours ever again, Mom," she then looked at her father, "Dad."

"Momo-" her mother's voice broke, "Little one-"

"No, I'm not your little girl anymore. I'm training to become a hero, I'm training to save the world. I love this world. I love him. He's my world, so why would you take him from me?" her voice broke as her knees gave out.

She thought she'd just let herself fall to the floor as a pair of strong arms wrapped around her, keeping her upright.

"Do you…really love me?" she whispered, her voice hoarse and broken from her outburst. She wrapped her arms around his waist as she pushed her body against Shouto's, listening to his heartbeat to realize it was beating too quick as well. Her tears wouldn't let up as she sobbed into his collarbone, "Please don't go," she whispered, "Don't go."

"I won't," his hands tangled in her hair, "I won't go, I promise. I won't go," he pulled back a little, only enough to be able to angle her face towards his, "I love you."

Her tears only got stronger as she looked at the dual colored eyes in front of her, only obstructed by a tint of red and white as the strands hanging in his face had gotten a little too long.

Gently, he cupped her cheeks as she felt how his hands shook while he leaned forward to put their lips together. The love she felt, the warmth that radiated from him were the only things left in her mind as she knew the world was falling apart around her.

Only slowly, reluctantly, they let go of each other while he put a strand of hair behind her ear.

"We-" her father started, "We just thought-"

"Shouto," Endeavor interrupted him as the dual haired boy looked at the man he was supposed to call father as he got up from his place at the table, "I…I have a feeling we need to talk."

"I don't want to," Shouto replied, looking away from his father, "Your words mean nothing."

"Still…" the red haired started, "I didn't mean to-"

"To take my mother away from me? To isolate me from my siblings? To beat me until I threw up? Don't you dare say that you didn't mean to do that."

"You…" her mother chimed in, "You really treated your son like that? Is that why the other one's a criminal? You're actually a complete lunatic, aren't you?"

"I was blind," the red haired admitted while Momo took the hand of the boy she loved, holding it tightly to make sure he knew she was there, "I didn't think it would turn out like this. Are you," he directed at his son, "Are you really…scared of touch?"

Once again, Shouto averted his gaze, turning his head away from his father. Momo knew that had made the answer clear.

"And you…want to marry Yaoyorozu Momo?"

Looking up to the boy in front of her, Momo traced soothing circles on the back of his hand with her thumb.

Would he…really…?

He nodded, biting his lip.

"I won't apologize, son, because I know you won't accept it," the number one hero started, "I…Only recently, I realized how…not right it was, how I treated you and your mother. And if you'll resent me for that until the day I die, it's fine because I slowly start to understand that I do deserve that."

Momo held herself back from something she'd definitely regret saying.

That definitely didn't stop her mother, though.

"You've been beating your wife and children and expect me to let my child even somewhere near this family? I'd heard a rumor that your wife hadn't been hospitalized for a burn-out but because she had hurt one of her children. Is it the scar? Is that what you did to your family?"

"Yes," Endeavor said, "What I did was what I thought was best to become the number one hero, even if it was just indirectly through my children. I…never saw the consequences."

"But do you see them now?" Momo heard herself speak without wanting to, "You never realized that your son couldn't even hold a hand without breaking down and freezing himself."

Endeavor stayed quiet, looking away in thought.

"Momo," her father then interjected, "You're holding his hand. If he was afraid, shouldn't there be-"

"Not with her," Shouto interrupted, "Never with her."

"I think..." Momo smiled then, her cheeks still wet, "it's because I found a place in that frosty heart of his, and I can't do anything other than notice how it's slowly melting. Of course we're moving slow, but every step we take is one that's even bigger and more meaningful than they would be without his fear."

"Do you really love him?" her mother then asked quietly and Momo didn't hesitate for even a second as she nodded at the older woman.

"I love him", she whispered before she turned to Shouto, "I love you."

"I love you too," he answered quietly, his voice raw with emotion while she couldn't do anything but wrap her arms around him, holding him close to her as she hid her face at his shoulder.

They didn't notice her parents looking at each other, contemplating quietly.

"Can you guarantee me that my daughter will be safe with you, Todoroki?" her father asked the dual haired boy that turned away from Momo to look at him.

"I don't want hurt her," he then gazed at Momo again, "I can't guarantee that there's not going to be heartache, but she knows who I am. I already laid down all my cards. She chose to stay with me regardless and I'll never be able to fully express how happy that makes me, day by day, when I wake up next to her or when I cradle her in my arms after she had a nightmare- I just love her, I do, and I'm scared of becoming like my father as well, yet at the same time I know she'd never let that happen."

"You won't," she answered, "I know that for sure."

"And you two are really sure about this? You're way too young for any of this," her father said, "But at the same time we haven't really left you a choice, have we?"

"No, you haven't, dad," she shook her head, "There was never a real choice we had in this whole thing. We got arranged, we fell in love, and now you want to break it apart for a reason that could've been obvious if you just dared to take a close look at the number one hero and how he treats his family."

She then turned towards the dual haired boy next to her, taking his hand in hers, letting out a breath in relief as she realized how warm it was.

"He's absolutely right. Of course we've got our differences, many at that, and of course there's times that we argue – but I don't see any reason this shouldn't work as long as he loves me, and I love him. He laid down his cards from the very beginning, that day we met officially, before he fell asleep in my arms and when you asked me about it later on I knew I couldn't tell you the truth because you're shallow and only care about your own profit. It doesn't matter to me if he's got his scars and how many of them because I fell in love with him all the same. I knew you'd hate him, I knew you'd judge him without even knowing him."

"We- Momo-" her mother then tried, a hiccup interrupting her, "Do you really think…we are like that?"

"Mom, can you look at this situation and tell me you're not?" she looked at her mother while she tightened her hand around Shouto's, before she felt him squeeze hers as well, giving her confidence without saying a word, "You want to break all of this apart because you don't want an abuser..." she then looked at Endeavor who held her gaze, "…in your family. I understand that. But I'm marrying Shouto, not his father."

"I-" her mother blinked a few times, obviously trying to suppress her tears, "You're right- We…What…should we do? How could we…trust him? We don't…we don't know him. The wedding would be in three months-"

"Do you trust me?" Momo turned towards her parents once again, who thoughtfully looked at each other before her father nodded.

"Of course we do," he said.

"Then trust me when I say you won't regret getting to know him. You will like him, I know you will, and I won't marry anyone else to get you the money to pay off a marriage I want," she didn't care that they were watching as she pressed another kiss on Shouto's cheek, "because we may be young, and of course marrying wouldn't be on our mind for many years to come, but there's no one else I could imagine being by my side," she cupped his cheek with her free hand, "Do you want me by your side?" she then asked her lover, "I promised you to stay and I do not intend on breaking it, so…do you want me by your side, now and forever?"

His voice was only a whisper as nodded at her, "Yes."

She smiled, nodding as well.

"I…" Endeavor started, "I don't know how to be a good father."

Shouto snorted before looking at his father, "Don't you say."

"I took away all choices you could've made in your life, and I admit that was wrong. So I wanted to give you the opportunity to find a girl you like, because this is one thing I can do."

"Yet it was the wrong thing to do," Shouto replied and Momo could swear that if his quirk had been an icy gaze, Endeavor would've turned into a popsicle by now, "You don't know me, father."

Endeavor looked to his side, exhaling a long breath before he looked at them again.

"I don't. It's true. I never did," he shook his head, "Tell me, Shouto. What am I supposed to do?"

"Quit acting like a good dad all of a sudden. You don't care about me. You don't know I'm alive and eat and breathe and get hurt-" Shouto huffed, closing his eyes, "Try treating me like a human. Try asking me about what I want instead of pulling off shit like that. I don't want you to be a 'super cool dad' or whatever, I just want you to quit messing with my life."

Nodding, Endeavor looked to the floor, "I understand."

"What do you want?" her mother got up from her seat, walking towards them while Momo only stepped closer to Shouto, making sure their hands were tied tightly together so her mother couldn't pull her away from him again, "You two…want to marry each other? You two love each other?"

She nodded and from her mother's reaction she could guess he had as well.

"We messed it all up again, didn't we?" her mother shook her head, "We wanted your best, yet we had to sign that contract binding you to a person we thought you didn't know. We wanted your best, so we tore apart that love we'd made possible in the first place. We wanted your best, yet we never did what was best for you. We should've listened. You're our daughter- and we love you. I know that's nothing you want to hear right now, but we love you and-" the older Yaoyorozu looked at her husband, "We want to give you the chance to decide it yourself. We trust you, we trust your judgement. I'm sorry we failed at showing you that once again."

"Does that…" Momo started, feeling her breath escape her, "Does that mean you won't break off the engagement?"

Her mother nodded.

Momo threw her arms around Shouto's neck, pulling him in close as he held onto her as well.

She knew she'd started crying once again as her hands started to shake while she let her fingers sink into dual colored silky strands, burrowing her face at his shoulder as his arms were snug around her waist. The breath he exhaled was shaky as well.

This…why was this…Why did this keep happening to them?

Why was this world always trying to tear them apart when it was what had led them to each other in the first place?

"But…" her mother then said, getting their attention once again, "…We claim the right to change the contract."

"In which way?" her father then asked her mother, left in the dark as well.

"Endeavor," her mother started, "Will you accept my request to let them go at their own pace?"

"You mean…?" the red haired flame hero contemplated, looking to his side before he gazed at her mother determinedly as he nodded.

Itsume then turned towards them. Momo took a step back, letting the hug loosen as she grabbed Shouto's hand, interlacing their fingers.

"We will not break off the engagement. But I don't want you to marry at the age of sixteen. Not in three months. We…" she cleared her voice, looking back at her husband for a split second who quickly got up to join her, "We want to get to know him better first. You can marry him once you are old enough to do so legally. As long as Endeavor accepts these changes, the money won't be a problem either- I- We-" the black haired woman stuttered, "We just want you to be happy, Momo."

"That's…" Momo faintly realized she started to play with the ring hanging from her neck, "Thank you," she whispered.

"I-" Shouto started, making Momo quickly turn towards him once again, seeing how he looked at the floor beneath their feet before he exhaled a long breath, lifting his gaze to meet her mother's, "Thank you for giving me a chance."

Her mother smiled, then. Faintly, almost invisible to the untrained eye, but she smiled. A sad, yet incredibly warm smile as her husband wrapped an arm around her waist as he joined her side.

Fidgeting with her hands, her mother looked towards Endeavor.

"I'll accept the contract changes. It's…the only thing I can do," he said, looking away.

Shouto's hand around hers tightened.

He was uncomfortable. She knew he was. No matter what Endeavor tried, it wouldn't be simple, it wouldn't make anything of this even the tiniest bit easier as Shouto's scars reached deeper than met the eye. They reached so deep they influenced his life on a day to day basis and every time they seemed to find a way to make it alright, it seemed to come back to hit them like a train every time.

"Thank you," Momo breathed, knowing her fiancée wouldn't do the same as his lips were pulled in a tight line, "I promise that you won't regret this."

"Just…" Endeavor started, looking at his son, "Just do better than we did."

Shouto huffed, shaking his head as he interlaced his fingers with hers.

She squeezed his hand, understanding him without a single word said.

Because sometimes words weren't the right thing to say.

It was dark. It was cold.

Yet he didn't care.

Shouto sighed, looking at the light green tiles in front of him as he waited for the subway to arrive.

There were no tears. There were no cries.

But his hands shook as he ran one through his hair.

He'd promised he'd never be like his father.

He'd promised he'd never hurt her.

He'd promised he wouldn't go.

He was a liar – nothing more.

And she'd be better off without him.

Notes:

*nervous chuckling* I hope you liked it?

I lovingly also call this chapter "Where Yaomomo finally's done with the bullshit this world is throwing their way."

Oh, and he said he loved her, heh.

And please don't murder me after the cliffhanger or you won't get to know what happens *hysterical laughter*

Feel free to yell at me in the comments and/or on tumblr!

Have a wonderful week, everyone!

(Sidenote: With the next chapter this story is going to be set to Explicit because of pretty explicit steaminess. More details in the notes then.)

Chapter 28: And I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever (E)

Summary:

Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler

Two loving souls may change the winds of fate.

Or will they burn in the storm coming their way?

Notes:

Hehe, welcome back!

Warning: this chapter contains explicit love-making, so if that's not your cup of tea, quit reading after their phone call, maybe skip to the last few sentences but at your own risk!

Yes, they're both 16 years of age, and I do believe that's old enough to make... first discoveries together, heh.

This is the holy trilogy: safe, sane and consensual.

I hope you enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"So, we're now…girlfriend and boyfriend?" he asked quietly when they were walking on the small path in front of the Yaoyorozu estate to get to their teacher's car.

His mind had yet to catch up with what happened those last few days.

His brother was a villain, his father trying to be a good dad but messing it all up once again, her parents wanting to break this whole thing off and marrying her to someone else-

It seemed too surreal, like it didn't really happen even though he knew it had.

Even though his hands were buried in his pockets, she slung an arm around his, getting closer to him. "Mh," she exclaimed, making him look down at her, "No, we're fiancées. Even if it's going to take another ten years or so…you proposed to me, didn't you? Or do you want to take that back?"

"No, of course not," he stopped in his tracks, pulling her to a stop as well, "I meant what I said."

"I know you did," she whispered, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek, "You're the man I love, and the man I'll marry one day."

"This will give us time to grow up, won't it?" he then looked at the sky, analyzing the way the darkness above theme didn't leave room for a single star as it was very cloudy. The lanterns at the side of the path showed them the way, and maybe they'd be lost without them, "I love you, too."

"It will. We still…have so much to learn. Maybe it was fate that it all turned out like this," he locked eyes with her, blinking a few times before a slight smirk found its way to his face.

"When did you start believing in fate?"

"I- Hey, I never said I didn't believe in it. I wasn't sure," she pouted, "but this is too much to be a mere coincidence."

"I agree," he nodded, "I totally agree. I think it was the best thing that could've happened to me. Now…it's like I'm free. It's what I decided myself; it's what we decided ourselves."

"It is. We're free to do what we want, as long as we marry one day. Without any time pressure, without getting married at an age we surely aren't supposed to be wed. We're just free," she whispered, "because having to marry you would never cage me."

He huffed, "I pray it won't."

"You decided against your father," she them remarked, "You did the exact opposite of what he wanted you to do."

"Did I?" he asked, "Did I get out of the footsteps paving my life?"

"I think…" she smiled, "I think you did that the night you fell asleep in my arms."

He let go of a long breath.

"I love you," he repeated, leaning forward to claim her lips, quickly letting go, "I wished I could've said that in a different situation."

She tilted her head, "Would you have told me, if it wasn't for that situation?"

"One day," he averted his gaze, "I would have told you, one day."

She kissed him, then, smiling at him with such adoration in her gaze his heart skipped another beat, "I love you too, by the way."

"I know."

"Good."

"So," Aizawa started once they'd closed the car door, both of the students sitting in the backseat, "Did…everything go…well?" he tried to find words to somehow ask about what this whole situation was about.

"We're not getting married in April," Todoroki replied dryly.

"Did they…break off the engagement?" Aizawa started the car, putting it in drive while he looked in the mirror from time to time, wanting to keep an eye on them without endangering traffic.

"No," Yaoyorozu explained, "They wanted to break off our engagement because Dabi is Endeavor's long lost son, Touya."

"And they did not because…?"

"The money they would have had to pay to settle Endeavor could only be won over by another marriage, with someone else."

"Did they try to marry you to someone else? Forcing you into another contract?"

"They tried," his dual haired student then said, "But…they didn't calculate that she'd want to be with me anyway."

"I certainly saw your connection," Aizawa then nodded, "Calming someone down from a panic attack takes a lot. So, engagement or no engagement?"

"We're still engaged, but we can decide the rest ourselves," Yaoyorozu explained, "We did it. We convinced them."

"If that's what you want, I guess it's great," the raven haired teacher nodded, grumbling under his breath, "You won't get any privileges, keep that in mind. Just invite me to the wedding."

"What?" Todoroki asked with furrowed eyebrows which Aizawa saw when he looked in the mirror, Yaoyorozu's eyes turning wide.

"O-Of course," she quickly said.

"And Present Mic," he then grumbled, "And probably All Might and also Nezu and Mid-"

"We'll invite all of you," Todoroki interrupted, "We understood."

"You can't just interrupt our teacher," Yaoyorozu then scolded the dual haired boy.

Aizawa smirked.

"Thank you for driving us, Sir," Momo told their teacher as she bowed slightly, Shouto reluctantly following her.

"Anytime," the black haired man said, before he grumbled under his breath once again, lifting a hand before he turned away to go his way.

They were standing in front of the dorms, a cold January breeze blowing through their hair as Shouto looked at his hands once again to see if it was real and he was still wearing the ring.

It was real.

He bit his lips before he looked back up at her, swallowing hard.

He really wanted to kiss her.

Yet he couldn't while they were standing in front of the dorms.

"Hey, Yaomomo!" Ashido then screamed as she ripped open the glass door, having seen the two of them, "Where were you guys? We were super worried! After- After-"

"Ashido, please calm down," his fiancée explained, looking at him questioningly as he nodded. Whatever her question was, he'd trust her judgement, "We'll explain, just let us come in first, please. It's cold outside."

"Of course," the pink haired took a step back, letting them enter the common room where Shouto took off his jacket right away, trying to ignore that it felt like most of the class was down here.

Midoriya, Uraraka and Iida were standing to their right while Bakugou and Kirishim occupied the couches with Sero and Kaminari while the rest was sitting at the tables.

"Okay, so where were you? I think we've all gathered you're together by now, yet why's our homeroom teacher driving you around? Did something happen? Did-" Ashido started, fidgeting with her hands.

"Slow down, please slow down a little," Momo took off her jacket as well, handing it to him when he reached out for it while gifting him another one of those smiles that let him lose his breath.

When he hung up the jackets, he turned back towards her and stepped to her side as she interlaced her fingers with his, pulling out the ring from its hideout underneath her sweater.

"We've been engaged ever since we turned five years old," she explained.

Silence greeted them.

"Todoroki!" Mineta exclaimed outraged, "You…!"

"I?" Shouto answered with furrowed brows.

"You're engaged?" Ashido then gasped, "Engaged?"

"Yes, we are. It may be… difficult to say the least, but it's okay now," his fiancée ensured, "and we are neither getting any privileges nor want to be treated any differently from usual," she looked around their classmates pleadingly, "Please."

"Of course!" Kaminari said, Jirou nodding as well, trying to act as if she didn't already know. Most of the class reacted similarly.

"Fucking knew it," Bakugou mumbled, "Damn obvious."

Uraraka wrapped her arms around both of them, "I'm happy if you're happy!" she yelled happily, crushing them.

"Same!" Ashido and Hagakure chimed in, joining the hug before more and more of the class wrapped them in their love.

"I can't believe he's got Yaoyorozu," Mineta cried somewhere in the background, "I thought I'd get a chance when they were only dating, but that? A restraining order would be less scary than that-"

"Quit it," Asui interrupted, slapping him with her tongue, "Don't ruin the moment, ribbit."

It was at that moment Shouto realized that there were many people hugging him.

And he didn't even flinch.

Feeling Momo's hand tighten around his, he understood that she'd noticed it as well.

He started laughing, then.

Because he was fine.

It was fine.

And he was happy.

A scream, closer this time, Momo realized as she opened her eyes to see she was in one of her dreams once again.

She snapped her head in the direction of the sound, not finding anyone it could've belonged to as the blue fire started, the silhouette of Dabi now coming closer and closer as she backed away.

Where was Shouto?

She was calm, she wasn't scared. She'd had that dream so many times now, she only had to find out where he was and how she could retake his hand.

If she took his hand, everything was going to be fine.

When the silhouette came close enough, she ducked underneath its arm before she ran. Where could he be?

This subway station. She knew it, she knew where it was and she recognized those dirty light green tiles. Something was going to happen here, yet she couldn't figure out what it was.

And she had never found Shouto.

Her heart hammered in her ears as she ran and ran, the floor only getting further and further until she couldn't run anymore. When she took a deep breath, she turned around and the only thing she saw was the door to the subway.

This…hadn't been here before.

Everything was burning, yet here it was, a completely unharmed subway.

It went quiet, then, as she opened the door.

Jolting up in her bed, Momo stumbled to get up, collapsing against her desk as her knees gave out and she retched, feeling herself coughing again and again.

There was so much blood.

There couldn't be-

This couldn't be-

Was he- Where was he? Was he fine?

Scrambling up to reach towards her phone on the nightstand, she felt the tears streaming down her face as her hands shook. Quickly unlocking her phone after failing twice, she scrolled through her contacts, faintly realizing how late it was, yet she couldn't care about that as she pressed the green call button.

It rang way too often for her liking as her heartbeat quickened more and more.

"Hm?" he answered then, and she fell slack against her desk as relief flooded her being.

"I-" she started, realizing how hoarse she sounded- like she was crying.

"Nightmare?" he asked sleepily while she could hear rustling on the other side of the line.

"Mh hm," she got out, "B-Bad night-" she sniffed, "mare."

"I'll be right there," he whispered before he hung up.

It took less than a minute until he knocked on her door even though it felt like an eternity as she stumbled to get herself upright, using the bookshelf as leverage as she went to the door, unlocking and opening it.

Once she saw Shouto alive and without loose blood, she jumped on him, glad for his trained reflexes as he held her up, holding her tight while he came inside to close the door behind them.

"I've got you," he whispered and she felt the sobs ripple through her chest as she wrapped her arms around his neck, cradling the back of his head while she nodded, "I'm here."

She didn't realize that he'd carried her over to the bed until he tried setting her down, yet she held onto him and pulled him with her before she wrapped her arms around his waist, holding him to herself tightly while they laid on her fluffy comforter. Her sobs hadn't quieted down as she let one of her hands wander underneath his shirt, feeling the warmth emitting from him as she set it down on his upper back.

"Are you…okay?" he asked, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head while he traced soothing circles on her back.

She wasn't fine. She was absolutely not fine with what she'd seen in that subway and she was so afraid her dreams would come real, and she couldn't- she couldn't-

She couldn't let them come true, no. He was alive, he was here, he was holding her in his arms.

"What did you dream about?" he tried again when he realized he wouldn't get an answer to his first question.

"I had a d-dream," she sniffed, "you got hurt. You got badly hurt and there was nothing I could do-" a hiccup interrupted her, "It felt so real and even though I know it was just a dream, I can't- I'm so scared of losing you, don't leave me," she held onto him tighter, "Please don't leave me."

"Hey, I'm here, Momo," he lifted her head so she could look at him, "I'm right here. It's okay. It was just a dream."

"But it felt so real," she whispered, pulling back her hands to let them wander up his chest before she closed them to fists, "Is this real? Did I stop dreaming?"

"Yeah," he replied, "It's real. You're awake and you're holding me in your arms and I'm not afraid because you showed me there's no reason to be. I'm fine, you're a hero, I love you."

"I love you too," she stammered, moving her hands even further up to cup his cheeks before she pulled him towards her, kissing him gently and with all of the fear and relief she'd felt in those few minutes she'd been awake. Pressing herself against him, she buried her hands in his hair while he reciprocated the contact, letting her explore his mouth with her tongue.

They only let go when his hands around her body tightened, both of them breathing heavily.

He put a stray strand of her knotted and probably very disastrous hair behind her ear.

She kissed him again.

The warmth spreading from her heart at the love she felt at that moment, while he was holding her tight, slowly started to take over her belly as well, his hand on her back sending chills down her spine.

A blush found the way to her cheeks as she realized she was actively making out with Shouto at three in the morning on a Friday night- or Saturday, that was up for interpretation.

She pulled away slightly. She didn't…she didn't call him over to do…stuff.

There was only this sudden urge to feel him close to her- close, very close- all the way?

He looked at her, furrowing his brows as he put his hand on her forehead, "Are you nauseous? If yes, there's a pressure point-"

"Shouto," she whispered and he went quiet. Dual colored hair fell into his face, nothing left of the clean cut of red and white while she let go of a long breath.

Did she really…want to go all the way? Sleep with him?

The answer was way more obvious than she would've thought as there wasn't even a single ounce inside her that denied that statement.

She loved him. And she wanted to love all of him. Was that so bad?

"Hm?" he asked, his hand on her forehead moving to cup her cheek.

But she couldn't just say it, could she? Just because today had been working out so well and he'd been hugged by many, many people without reacting-

This was too much, wasn't it?

Too intimate?

Yet, all they did was like this, all they did was on this fascinating level of intimacy and familiarity she couldn't even describe properly as her heart seemed to combust in her chest.

"Do you want to…" she started, blinking quickly while she averted her gaze, staring at his collarbones, "…go all the way with me?"

His mind seemed to take a while to work through the words as he moved her face back so she was facing him. She stared into stone and aqua, relished in how gorgeous he looked even though there was only the dim lighting of the moon illuminating the room as she hadn't closed her jalousies.

"You want to…have sex," he started, blinking a few times, "with me?"

She nodded.

"Tell me verbally, please," he furrowed his eyebrows.

"I want to have all of you, if you allow me," she whispered, playing with the hair in the back of his neck.

"But-" he cleared his voice, "What if I hurt you? What about protection? What if I'm bad? What if-"

"Shouto," she interrupted his train of thought, "Relax. Just tell me. Do you want to sleep with me, or do you not want to sleep with me…" her blush turned even brighter, "… tonight?"

"Now? Oh-" he swallowed, "I- Of course I'd like to- but what if- I don't know anything, Momo. I've never…done…something like that."

"Do you think I have?" she chuckled, "I read a lot about it. And I do mean a lot, but I've never tried it out."

"I thought so," he nodded, "But…what if you get pregnant? I'm not- I can't- I'm scared."

"I won't," she explained, "I've got it covered. What are you scared of? Is it the…touch?" she moved her hands away from the back of his neck as she let them wander down his chest until they rested on the elastic of his pajama pants, only caressing the skin there before she put her right hand on his side. His fire side, which wasn't buried in her fluffy comforter.

He gulped.

"No, I'm not scared of you," he whispered, "But what if I mess up? What if I can't get you…there? What if I really hurt you? I heard it might."

"That's okay," she kissed his nose, "That's completely okay. It'd be…our first time. And things are bound to go wrong on the first try. I'd never be mad at you. I love you, and I want to show you all of me, if you let me. We don't have to do anything you won't like. We also won't do anything I don't like, I promise you that," she chuckled quietly then, kissing his lips, "What did you say? Let's see where the evening takes us?"

"Will you promise me you'll tell me if I mess up?" he asked, then.

"Will you promise me the same?" she replied.

He nodded quietly, exhaling a long breath.

"Good, then I'll promise it as well," her smile seemed contagious as he let out a long breath before he kissed her.

"Should I…turn on the light?" he asked, yet she quickly shook her head.

"Let's just…maybe the little one? Hold on," she pecked his nose before scooting away and sitting up, crawling over her bed to her nightstand where she turned on the warm light, blinking a few times at the brightness before she pulled open the drawer and took out a little box.

She set it down next to her, hopefully in reach when the time was right, before she turned around to look at him. It was then that she realized the soft blush that'd spread on his cheeks as well as he'd sat up cross-legged.

It was also then that she realized she was – of course – also just wearing her pajamas. Maybe she should- but would it-?

"I'll just…put on something pretty," she said, wanting to get off the bed, yet she felt him hold her back by her wrist until she was looking at him.

"You don't have to," he awkwardly looked to his right, "It's going to come off anyway, won't it?"

Momo blinked.

"Is it possible that you're a little more eager to try it out than you let me know?"

The way his eyes widened told her enough, yet he was honest, "Yeah. I guess. Maybe. Would it make you more comfortable to put on something different?"

No, it wouldn't, because she was comfortable around him anyway, no matter how awkward it was going to be or how badly it might go.

"This is…to discover, to try things out, so…I guess it won't matter. You're right," she nodded, getting on the bed to crawl towards him once again, her blue button up pajama probably not being as sexy as she thought she could've been if she'd put on that one set of red and white she'd bought after their shower incident, "As long as you're okay with the amount of intimacy."

"Okay," he gulped once again, "I'll…tell you if it's too much."

"Good," she pecked his cheek before pulling away to look at him.

She let go of a long, long breath as they just stared at each other.

"Ugh, this is so awkward," she buried her face in her hands.

"Let's just…" he tried, "Let's just love."

She smiled, looking up at him between her fingers, remembering the last time she'd told him they'd 'loved'.

She could do this.

"I love you," she whispered, sitting on her heels in front of him while she slowly started to unbutton her pajama shirt, knowing he'd seen what was hidden beneath before. Still, her hands were shaking, she realized as she looked at them while she fiddled with the next button. Steady hands were set down on hers, letting her look up at the boy in front of her who held her gaze.

"I love you, too," he whispered before he took her hands away, setting them down on her legs before he pulled his own shirt over his head. The blush on her cheeks definitely didn't let up at all as she marveled at the way the soft lighting illuminated his muscles and she couldn't hold back as she set her hand down on his belly, feeling the crevices under her fingers while he shuddered under her touch. She stopped in her tracks, looking at him while he nodded, "It's fine, go on. It's…good."

She pulled her lips to a tight line as she slowly discovered him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips while her hands moved over his body.

He put a hand on top of her right one, guiding it upwards to lie exactly where his heart was hidden beneath. And it was true; she could feel his heartbeat, strong and fast, underneath her palm. "Remember this heartbeat when you feel alone. Remember that I'm here, and that it's beating just to keep you safe."

"Shouto…" she breathed, smiling at him softly, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes once again as she remembered the words she'd said to him after All Might's retirement, "I love you so much," she threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck as she tried to soothe her ragged breathing. She really did not want to cry right now. Not again.

He was here, he was alive, his heart was beating underneath her fingertips and she couldn't shake the feeling that it was beating for her.

His arms wrapped around her as she sat on his lap, feeling how he moved his legs a little so he could be more comfortable. Lifting her face to his, he kissed her with such ferocity she lost her breath while she clang to him.

Moving his hands to her hips, she smiled into the kiss at his action taking, gasping surprised as he let himself fall forward, laying her down on her back on the bed before untangling his legs and sitting on his heels in between hers. She hadn't shed a single piece of clothing, yet his gaze seemed to take her apart while it also seemed so soft and innocent she had no words to describe it. He leaned forward a little, looking at her questioningly while he played with the button she'd failed at opening earlier. She nodded, smiling at him while he took a deep breath and opened it, slowly moving down to the next one and the one after that until her pajama shirt was completely unbuttoned.

"May I…?" he asked, hand hovering right above her belly while he hadn't dared to peel the fabric off her skin.

"Yes," she replied, watching his facial expression as he moved the fabric to the sides, starting at her belly as he put his hands on the soft flesh, moving them upwards while chills ran down her spine at the feeling. His calloused hands on her skin were the only thing she needed to survive, she was sure of that. His hands came to rest on her breasts, gently squeezing the soft flesh beneath his fingers as she gasped, whispering encouragement before he could stop and ask.

The warmth in her lower belly turned a lot warmer than she expected from something as simple as that, yet it seemed to mean her whole world as she pulled him down to kiss her, making sure he wouldn't stop caressing her chest. "You- So-" she sighed, throwing her head to the side when he accidentally grazed one of her sensitive buds with his fingernail, "Do that- again," she gasped.

"That?" he asked, grazing her once again as she nodded violently, the feeling reverberating through her whole body. Goosebumps formed on her arms when his right hand got a little colder, "S-Shouto," she whispered while his left turned warmer.

"Sorry- I can't…" he cleared his voice, "I can't get my quirk under control."

"It's okay," she looked to her side, knowing she was blushing even more as her face turned so warm, "Don't stop."

He leaned down to her then, kissing her jaw as her head was still turned away from him, peppering her with kisses, leaving a soft trail of warmth behind as he reached her collarbone. Soft gasps left her mouth even though she tried to be quiet. His hands slowly let go of her chest, his cold right hand wandering down to her waist, the touch feather light before he put it underneath her back, carefully lifting her up.

She understood once he slid the blue fabric off her shoulders. She shuffled out of the shirt, brushing it off her arms before letting it fall somewhere she'd worry about later.

Once she was shirtless, he laid her down once again, letting go of a long, foggy breath. He seemed to analyze every inch of her skin that was somehow visible before he leaned over to claim her lips. "You're way too beautiful for my conscience," he whispered, his breath tickling her. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him in close, remembering the wonderful feeling of skin on skin that she'd missed ever since they'd showered together.

"Is that okay?" she asked then, suddenly worried about the close proximity.

"Yeah," he nodded, calming her nerves. Letting her hands wander to the back of his head, she caressed his scalp, eliciting a very quiet sound from him that she could only consider a moan.

He was too adorable for her conscience.

The goose bumps on her arms wouldn't leave off while his a little colder skin only made her feel him more. She angled her legs, while she realized that she was still wearing way too much. Breathing out shakily, she kissed him again, feeling something prod at her center.

So she did have an effect on him.

She was suddenly so embarrassed, yet she couldn't point out why as she'd already told herself it was fine.

She cupped his cheek, maneuvering her hand around his elbow which he used to hold himself up next to her head.

"Do you want me to take these off?" she smiled, pulling at the hem of her pajama pants, looking at him to wage his reaction as he blinked a few times.

"Yeah," he nodded, "If it's okay with you."

"It is very okay with me," she let go of his cheeks after she'd put another quick peck on his lips. The redness on his cheeks must've mirrored hers perfectly as he exhaled a long icy breath, sitting back on his heels, gulping audibly as he placed his hands on her sides. Letting them wander south, she held her breath as he hooked his thumbs in the dark blue fabric, carefully pulling it downwards. She couldn't do anything but stare at his facial expression, which seemed so concentrated she could only find him wonderfully adorable. His cold hand on her leg sent more shivers down her spine as he pulled the fabric off her, lifting her legs to make the task easier.

Throwing the piece of clothing off the bed, he let his hands wander back up her legs, starting at her calves, then grazing on to the back of her knees, sending more electricity through her body while she covered her mouth with her hands to stop herself from gasping. He looked at her when his hands came to rest on her soft hips, right above the last piece of fabric keeping her covered.

Her nerves burned through with her, letting her sit up to kiss him as she realized that this was really happening. They were this close - and she loved him so much her heart had broken after her last nightmare, yet he was here to put her together when she was falling apart.

And she was proud. So, so proud. His fear of intimacy had gotten so much better and they were here together and he was okay and he was alive and-

"Can I…touch you?" she whispered, bashfully looking up at him while she had wrapped her arms around his waist to keep herself upright. She took one hand to slowly let it wander around his hip, hovering right above the slight tent in his plaid pajama pants.

He gulped, taking a second to just breathe, before he nodded.

She was happy he took that time, because it showed that he was thinking about it and not just agreeing because it's something she suggested.

She let go of his waist to move until she was sitting on her heels while he was kneeling in front of her. Locking eyes with him, she asked the silent question when her fingers hooked into the elastic of his pants. Putting his hands on hers, he nodded before he helped her pull both layers of clothing off of himself. She was especially careful as the fabric caught onto him, pulling it away to free his member.

Smiling, one of her unasked questions answered itself as she saw the evenly split fluff of red and white while the heat on her face did not leave off at all as he shed the clothing fully, letting it fall from the bed before he turned towards her again, trying to avoid her gaze. She didn't mean to stare, yet she couldn't do anything against it as it was the first time she'd seen a man's...thing, in person.

She sat up from on her heels so their faces were on the same height as she kissed him, effectively making him look at her again. "You're gorgeous, Shouto," she whispered. He had to know that, especially when she knew that his issues weren't disappearing at all, either. Hers hadn't, for sure, yet she couldn't feel insecure when he was looking at her like she was the most important thing on this planet.

"How do I…?" she asked, leaning her forehead on his, gesturing downwards and resting her right hand on his hip. He let go of a long breath as she almost felt the shiver running down his spine before he looked downwards, took her hand and hesitantly guided it towards his length. The moment she touched him, his breathing hitched while he looked up to her again. Moving her hand slightly, he closed his eyes, the pressure on her forehead seemingly becoming a little stronger as he leaned against her, guiding her hand. Up and down, then back again, and she couldn't not notice the goose bumps on his arms while she analyzed the feeling of him, the weight, the length and girth and the soft and obviously sensitive skin. Once she'd found a rhythm in the languid strokes, he let go of her hand, falling forward a little before he rested his forehead on her shoulder, holding onto her back.

"Am I…doing well?" she asked hesitantly. He nodded quickly.

"Uh huh," he exclaimed, voice gruff and hoarse as his breath on her shoulder sent shivers down her spine as well.

"If you…" she spoke without thinking, "If you want to… you can touch me as well."

It was only then that she understood what she'd said as she felt the heat creep back onto her cheeks. If he- If he touched her there, he'd surely feel how… ready she was. She didn't dare take her words back, though, because she knew she secretly really wanted him to explore her just as much as she did him.

He nodded, slowly, hesitantly, as his hands moved down from her back, resting on her hips before another tremor ran through his body, "Wait," he croaked. She did stop, of course, even though it took her a second to understand why he'd wanted her to stop.

"You…" she whispered, "You can…you know, if you want to."

He shook his head, "I…I want to give you all of me, if you want me to. I- I don't know if I can do it twice," he took a deep breath, "I just want…you."

"Oh," she exclaimed quietly, blinking quickly before letting go of his length. So he…he wanted to go all the way as well? It made no sense for her to think about whether or not she wanted to as well, as all her mind did was scream in happiness at his words.

That would be the most intimate two people could get with each other. And she'd be too happy for him to be the person she'd experience it with.

"Okay," she smiled, "I want you too."

"How…should we?" he lifted his head, looking her in the eyes as his breathing calmed down, his hands still playing with the elastic of her grey lacy panties, "What do I do?"

"Do you want to touch me, first? I…I don't know if I'm…ready, even if I feel like I might be."

"How do I know if you're…?" his thumbs hooked in the fabric as he slowly, carefully pulled it down, a long breath escaping her at the feeling of the cold air of the room hitting her heat. He stopped, then, mid-motion as she locked eyes with him, "Maybe… lay down?"

Yeah, that was a very good idea, she realized as she nodded, laying down in the soft pillows while he got rid of the last piece of fabric keeping them from each other. She pressed her knees together, without understanding why as the embarrassment suddenly took her over and she hid her face in her hands.

He leaned over her, pressing a kiss to her fingers and her heart grew three times its size as she realized he wouldn't force her to look at him or anything, a smile finding its way to her face while she took her hands away, kissing him softly. He smirked at her, yet it didn't reach his eyes as he still seemed a little unsure.

"May I…?" he gestured downward and when she nodded, he sat up once again, gently holding onto her knees as he pushed them apart. She put a hand over the lower half of her face, biting into it as she saw how he looked at her. How fascinated he seemed as his left hand moved up her leg, the soft touch sending more warmth to her most exposed part, yet he moved his hand outward and set it down on her hip, frustrating her a little.

"You-" he cleared his voice, "I can't believe this is real. You're…much too beautiful to be real. And you're my fiancée, that I chose myself-" letting go of a long breath, he timidly smiled at her, "I love you, Yaoyorozu Momo."

"I love you too," she smiled after taking her hand away from her face, setting it down on his that was resting on her hip. Looking at him questioningly, he nodded as she guided him to her heat, her back arching at the feeling of his rough hands on her most sensitive part. It was so…different, to have someone else touch her. When it wasn't her own hands, but his on her body, showing her that she wasn't dreaming either, her heart warmed even more. This man was real, and he was right here, making her gasp in pleasure as she guided his hand to her little bundle of nerves before she let go of it to put hers in the back of his neck to play with his hair while she bit on her other hand.

"You're so…" he started, clearing his voice once again, "…Is that good?"

"Uh huh," she nodded furiously, "Very good."

She found it almost unfair that he could make her feel like this without having any idea of what he was doing, the exploring movements of his fingers only taking her apart more and more and it didn't take long until she could feel a familiar heat building up in her stomach, growing stronger and stronger until she knew she was right at the edge.

"S-Shouto," she whispered, "I- I'll-"

"Stop or keep going?" he quickly replied, the blush on his nose and cheeks only regaining in its strength.

"Don't…stop," she whimpered before she fell apart under his touch. Her body shook as she searched for something to hold onto while she was falling and falling. Throwing her second arm around him as well, she pulled him towards her and kissed him passionately.

Once she'd calmed down a little, he let go of her center, wiping his hand on the sheets before resting his forehead on hers.

"I'm…" she gulped, "I'm ready," she reached out with her hand to get the box she'd placed somewhere here before they'd started. He seemed to understand as he sat up a little, taking the box from its place just out of her reach. She lifted herself up on her elbows.

"I…" taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her hammering heart, "I'm on the pill, yet…I'd like to be sure."

"Of course," he smiled at her, taking out a condom before he crawled back to her, retaking his place between her legs to press another kiss on her lips. He ripped it open and unrolled it on himself carefully, closing his eyes at the probably rather foreign feeling. She swallowed audibly, only now realizing and fearing that this…would have to fit inside her. It'd be okay, of course, a woman's anatomy was laid out to fit a man's length, yet…would it hurt? It seemed so…big. She- She had no idea, she'd read so many things about it but all of them were different and if he accidentally hurt her, she knew his heart would break.

That wasn't good, she realized, she had to relax for this to work.

"Shouto," she quickly whispered and he locked eyes with her, and while she stared into aqua and stone, she took a deep breath, "I'm a little tense."

He bit his lips before he nodded and leaned down to her again, kissing her while his fingers traced soft circles on her hips and stomach. She held onto him, letting him explore her mouth with his tongue.

He was gentle. He was warm. He was her fiancée and she knew he'd never hurt her. Not in his own mind. There was no reason to be afraid. She felt herself relax under him, exhaling a long breath against his lips before she nodded.

"Are you sure you want to…?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, I want to sleep with you," she pecked his cheek, "I trust you."

"Please," he swallowed, "Please tell me if it hurts."

She nodded, spreading her legs a little further as he sat up, pulling her hips towards him so she came to rest on his thighs. Hers were gently leaning against his sides as he caressed her soft flesh. Lifting his hand, he hesitantly set it down on her heat, grazing downward until he hovered right above her entrance. She wondered if he had nerves of steel as she fell apart from the anticipation.

"Is this right?" he then asked quietly and she blinked, understanding his issue. "Yeah," she smiled.

He nodded, taking another deep breath while he guided his member with his hand until he was lined up with her heat, gently pushing his hips forward.

"Oh," she gasped, searching for leverage as she held onto his forearms. It didn't hurt, not really, but the sensation was-

Wow, she closed her eyes for a second, just feeling the way he stretched and filled her, the sting unimportant when it made her feel so good at the same time.

He paused, breathing for a little while, "Is…everything okay?"

"I'm perfect," she gasped, opening her eyes to be able to look at aqua and stone while he pushed all the way in, sending shivers down her spine as he bottomed out. It was so… deep. She felt so… full.

It was a wonderful feeling as the soft burn from her accustoming to his girth slowly dissipated. His member throbbed inside her while he let go of a shaky breath.

"It doesn't hurt. You can- You can move," she whispered, nodding surely.

Exhaling shakily, he nodded, gently pulling out a little to push back in and the earlier chills that had been on her arms turned to full out shudders. The next time he repeated the motion, she rocked her hips against his, eliciting a gasp from him as he fell forward, catching himself with his elbow next to her head while she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She pulled him in closer while they continued their slow rhythm as he kissed her lips. When he snapped his hips forward a little faster, she whimpered quietly.

"Good," she quickly added, knowing that he'd else stop and god- she didn't want him to.

"I love you," he whispered, repeating the motion while she held onto him even tighter, locking eyes with him as he rested his forehead on hers. She was so mesmerized by his eyes, so in love with all of him that she just couldn't look away. And even though she felt, she knew, that she wouldn't come again like this… it'd be alright.

"I love you too," she whispered, tracing circles on his back.

"Momo, I-" he exclaimed stressed, and she knew what he meant right away.

"It's okay," moving her hand to cup his cheek, kissing him dearly while the rhythmic pounding into her made her almost go dizzy, "I'm good."

He bit his lip before he reluctantly nodded, his thrusts getting more erratic while the goose bumps on her arms only got stronger and stronger and her legs started to shake.

It was when he'd abruptly stopped moving, burying his face in her neck with a quiet but long moan, that she felt herself fall apart once again, clenching around him while her eyes turned wide before she had to close them, the tremors through her body slowly taking her apart yet mending her back together at the same time as her back arched. It was both hot and cold, it was so mind-blowing she couldn't think. The goose bumps on her arms didn't leave off either. She hadn't thought- this- at the first time? This…

Oh, she didn't care anymore as she cupped his cheeks and kissed him so deeply she thought her heart was going to combust in her chest. Her heartbeat was so rapid, he was so close as he went slack on top of her again, going back to hiding his face as she listened to his haggard and fast breathing.

They did it, she realized, tears running down her cheeks as she sniffed. They'd…they'd outwitted his fear of intimacy. Somehow… they did it.

He lifted his head from where he'd buried it in the crook of her neck, his eyes widening as he saw she was crying. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked, wiping the tears from her eyes while she shook her head, a bright smile finding its way to her face.

"You're perfect," she explained, "I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy. I'm so sorry for crying again but I swear they're wonderful tears because I love you so much and- and-" she took a deep breath, "Your fear of intimacy may not be gone, yet…how much more intimate can two people get?"

"I love you too," he replied, slowly pulling out of her as she gasped once again, knowing she'd be a little sore tomorrow for sure, "You think…we cured…the fear of intimacy?"

"Maybe not all of it," she whispered, resting in her soft and fluffy pillows, "Yet…isn't that a very good sign?"

"It is," he smiled, "I'm sorry you didn't…" he averted his gaze.

"Shouto," he looked at her, "I did. When you…yeah. There's nothing to apologize for. I'm…happy, very happy. Because it was you. And…" she shyly bit her lip, "and you were very good."

"I'm happy too," his soft eyes crinkled a little as he smiled, "You're perfect, Momo."

"I don't think I agree with that… " she sat up, a little uncomfortable with the wetness between her leg, "… but I'll accept it, because it's you who said it."

He threw the tied up condom into the waste bucket underneath the desk before he turned towards her, crawling next to her to cup her cheeks and kiss her once again.

"Thank you for loving me," he whispered.

"Thank you for existing," she replied, knowing that they still had to get up to clean off, yet she didn't want to let go of him.

"Thank you for that as well," his voice turned incredibly quiet.

"Will you stay?" she ran a hand through his sweat damp hair, pulling him towards her until he fell down next to her so she could cuddle into the crook of his neck.

"Always," he kissed the top of her head.

Here they were, covered in sweat, disgusting and weird… and yet, they were perfect.

Those unspoken promises, this connection they'd achieved tonight…

That was all she needed in this world as he played with her raven hair, holding her in his arms after they'd made the purest form of love. He hadn't been afraid of her touch, and that was all that mattered as she forgot about everything else.

She'd also forgotten about her nightmare.

And the way he'd died in her arms.

Notes:

Please run wild and leave me a little love before I fly to the US tomorrow, I'm afraid of planes.

I'm also afraid of the cliffhangers I always make *nervous chuckling*

A lot happened this chapter, and it was super long, so I really hope you enjoyed the ride because yeah, crash is always a ride, I guess?

Also, those who read the explicit part... feel free to tell me what you think, was my frist time writing something like this in English *even more nervous chuckling*

I hope you'll have a great time and I'll be back by March 5th, so I'll see when I get around to uploading, or if I'll have time for that in the US, just so you don't have to wonder where I disappeared to!

Chapter 29: I loved, and I loved, and I lost you

Summary:

...and it hurts like hell.

Hurts Like Hell - Fleurie

This world is a storm, relentless and cold.

Will their house of cards crumble, crash and fall, or will they last?

Notes:

Hello guys! I'm still in the US and had a quiet minute in which I'll uplolad this one, so I'll definitely answer your comments but not before I'm back from my vacation!

I also feel that the people reading this have gone down over the last few chapters, but I kind of think...there'll be a reason to yell at me after this *nervous chuckling while pointing at the title*

Quick shoutout to Gem and Lo for giving me the license to break their hearts, here you go.

We're now... there.

I hope you'll enjoy.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It was the first rays of the morning sun that woke Shouto up. Still, he closed his eyes, clinging to the warmth next to him. Only when he heard a quiet chuckling, he slowly blinked his eyes open to realize there was a body next to his. And Momo was looking at him while he realized he'd buried his face at her collarbone while she played with the hair in the back of his neck.
Blinking a few times, he pulled back more as he tried to make sense of what had happened and where he was – and his eyes widened when the events of last night replayed in his mind.

His arms were gently wrapped around her bare waist while they were mostly covered by the comforter. Panicky looking down, he realized that they were thankfully not completely naked, as she was wearing his shirt (which had ridden up in her slumber) while they did put their underwear back on.

Staring into her onyx eyes, she leaned forward and claimed his lips. Gentle, just like her soul.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," she whispered, pushing his hair out of his face to press another peck on his forehead.

"Good morning," he replied quietly, rubbing his eyes, "How long have you been awake already?"

"A while," her hands caressing his scalp sent a shudder down his spine, "But I like watching you sleep."

"Why?" he cuddled a little closer to her.

"Because you're adorable," she chuckled, "And I love you a lot."

His eyebrows furrowed, "I'm not adorable," he said before adding a quiet, "I love you too."

"Oh, you are," she argued, moving her hands around to cup his cheeks, grinning at him when she gently squished them,

"You're younger than me, so I'll keep calling you adorable forever. No matter how much we'll grow up or how strong you'll get, I'll keep this engraved into my memory forever."

Pecking his nose, she looked at him with such a warmth in her gaze that he knew she was telling the truth.
He moved forward to claim her lips, letting his hand wander underneath the ridden up shirt, placing it between her shoulder blades, feeling her shudder under the touch.

"Still adorable?" he asked, smirking slightly.

"I never said you weren't…hot. Those two do not exclude each other."

He huffed, shaking his head before pulling his hand out of her shirt.

"How are you?" he asked, letting his hand come to rest on her hip, "Are you okay? Hurt?"

Biting her lip, she moved her legs as if she was testing it out, sitting up carefully, "I think I'm fine, just a little sore. You were very careful, it only hurt a tiny little bit," she nodded, again putting a few strands of his hair behind his ear as she laid back down, "Thank you."

"I'm glad you're okay," he squeezed her hip before looking at her to realize she'd averted her gaze, "Why're you thanking me?"

"Because you gave me the chance to love you," she whispered, "because you let me look underneath that icy front and give me more and more reasons that show me it wasn't a mistake to fall for you. That little crush I had on you…" she locked eyes with him, "…you make me realize that letting it turn into love would never be a mistake, no matter what dumb things we do, what mistakes we make that set us back again and again…It was worth it. To hold you like this for the rest of my life…I'd take on the world."

"I know you would," he lost his voice, "I hope I'll never give you a reason to regret it."

"You won't," she whispered, "I'll love you through it all."

He let out a long breath, burying his face at her collarbone once again, "I don't know how to have a relationship. I don't know how to be a good boyfriend, or fiancée, or husband, or father, or whatever else you'll need me to be in the future. I'm scared I'll mess it up. Like I did with the whole Awase incident. I know we talked about it, I know we both apologized, but I…I can't promise you that I won't make mistakes like that again and again."

"I know that, Shouto," she said fiercely, "That's why I regretted not talking to you sooner, that's why I regretted walking away from you. I…underestimated how deep your scars were, but I'm slowly getting a grasp."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close while he felt her pulse through her neck.

"That's why communication is that important. You're a great man, Shouto, and you'll do many great things. If being by my side is one of them, I'm going to be the happiest woman in this world."

"I am the luckiest guy in this universe," he breathily chuckled, "And you're the most wonderful woman I ever could've met. I can't help but thank this hilarious twist of fate. You made me feel. You taught me what friends are when you found me in front of school that day so long ago- You…" he pulled away too look at her, resting his forehead on hers, "You teach me how to love every single day I get to spend with you, even when we're apart. I never thought I'd be able to make anyone happy, yet you're here, telling me you're happy and I can't-" he let go of a long breath, "I can't not believe you."

He stopped talking once he realized how glassy her eyes seemed, and he-

He really didn't want her to cry.

"It's happy tears," she explained right away, "I'm happy to teach you all I know, then we can discover the rest."
"You mean like we did last night?" he smirked, warmth spreading in his chest as he realized how bright red her cheeks turned at that comment.

"Y-Yes," she stammered, "Like we did last night."

"Just," he tried to ignore how much he blushed himself as he cleared his voice, "Just tell me if you ever…yeah, want to do it again."

"Ever?" she sounded a little exasperated, "Shouto. This…can be…a part of our relationship. I mean… a regular part, if you…if you want it to be."

"W-Well-" he stammered, "I won't say no to that."

"A-Alright," she bit her lip, looking into his eyes.

He stared at her lips, gently putting a finger on them to free them from her teeth. Mesmerized by her, he just stared.

Leaning forward, he kissed her, only the hint of a touch as he pulled away.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she replied, claiming his lips and pulling him towards her. Her hands in the back of his neck quickly disappeared under the blanket, wandering down his bare back as another wave of shudders ran through his mark and bone.

"Do you…want to…?" he asked, his hand on her hip quickly wandering up her side as he gently caressed her soft skin.

"Not now," she shook her head, "I don't think it's a good idea." She bashfully took her hand away from his back, laying it down on her abdomen.

He nodded, kissing her once again as he gently took his hand away, yet she quickly placed hers on top and put it back to her side, "I like it when you touch me. It just makes me feel…I don't know, I just like feeling your skin on mine, I guess."

"I understand that," he answered, "I…I like it as well."

She kissed his forehead, "That means so much more when you say it."

"Yet it's true."

"I know," she whispered while he looked back into her eyes, losing himself in the dark abyss.
Waking up to those eyes looking at him every morning for the rest of his life sounded like heaven to him.

His own, personal, beautiful heaven.

"Do you think they're already awake?" she asked nervously, playing with the sleeves of her school uniform. He was still in his pajamas next to her as she, of course, didn't create new clothes for him to protect the economy. It wasn't necessary, for sure, most students went down in their pajamas to eat breakfast and get ready afterwards.

Yet, a boy coming down the elevator of the girl's dormitory? That'd be great conspiracy material.

Not that there'd be anything to conspire about as their relationship was not a secret at all.

"I don't think so," he answered, "We're pretty late. School starts in half an hour, they're either already there or tying to cram the homework for today."

They did, in fact, have school on Saturday's, and this time where was nothing like finals where they'd gotten a day off – they had spent the night together on a totally normal school day.

Of course his fiancée was worried. She was the class representative after all.

"Yeah, you're probably right," she nodded, "I don't even know why I'm so nervous about that. I mean, they do know we're engaged and all, but that we…that'd be extremely scandalous."

"Scandalous, heh?" he smirked while she pouted at him, gently boxing his shoulder.

"Stop acting so sly, you were just as nervous as me!"

"Nervous about what?" Jirou asked when the elevator doors opened, "Oh."

"Mornin'," Shouto greeted her, lifting a hand while the purple haired looked back and forth between them, her cheeks and nose quickly turning red.

"It's not what it looks like!" Momo replied loudly, burying her face in her hands as Shouto poked her shoulder, wanting her to look up before she went on making it worse.

"What?!" she snapped desperately, looking at him and he pointed at the people in the common room who definitely knew that it was exactly what it looked like by her wonderfully calm reaction, "Oh."
Midoriya and Iida looked at them with wide eyes, Uraraka standing next to them while quietly blinking at them. It's not like there were many people in front of them, but his fiancée definitely did great at turning even redder, sniffing into her hands as she tried to hide.

"Hey, Momo, it's okay," he quickly said, pulling her out of the elevator before he gently wrapped her in his arms, "Its fine, it's just our friends."

"Yes," she nodded, gently pulling away as her breathing calmed down, "You're right. It's just so embarrassing."

"What is?" Iida then asked, looking back and forth between them. Midoriya laughed nervously, holding his friend by his arm to carefully pull him away, yet the blue haired teenager was unmoving like a rock.

"Did you-" Uraraka fidgeted with her fingers, slowly floating away, "Don't tell me- I mean- No way-"
Momo reached out with her hand, pulling the brown haired girl back to the floor.

"They did," Jirou noted, realizing how calm Momo was now that she'd gotten herself together, "They totally did. My brain…can't comprehend that. Damn rich kids and their complex relationships."

"I'll go change now?" he added intelligently, pointing towards the other elevator.

"I take it you took responsibility for your…actions?" Iida pushed his glasses back on his nose, the blush on his cheeks telling everything about the things he did not say out loud.

"Yes, yes, we did," Momo smiled, "There's no need to worry, we're safe, we're happy, we're late for school," she turned towards him.

"Oh, shit, I'll catch you later!" Shouto replied, his eyes widening a little bit as he ran towards the other elevator, quickly pressing the button.

He heard Momo sigh, making him realize he forgot something way more important than getting to class in time. Spinning on his heels, he took another two steps forward, gently pressing a kiss to her cheek. She blinked at him, a soft smile gracing her lips as she nodded at him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly.

That delivered all he needed to know before he waved at their friends, turning around and getting on the already waiting elevator.

"These two will be the death of me," was the last thing he heard Jirou sigh before the doors closed.

Letting out a long breath, he slowly realized what'd happened and how they'd gotten so far while he leaned against the elevator wall.

The first time they'd met, he'd argued with his father, running away from home to somehow find himself in front of school. He'd stared at a place far away, wishing he could have been there instead, just until a certain girl had taken place next to him.
They'd both been imprisoned, both been stripped of all their choices – and yet…they were here.
This terrible, unbelievable twist of fate that'd made it possible for him to live had started that day. That's the only thing he knew.

She'd worried about him during the Hosu incident. She'd let him understand that he was not as alone as he thought he was in this world that'd never given him anything.

Even back then, when he'd never thought anyone would care about him or the misery that loved his company, she'd pulled him out of a panic attack while saying his first name.

Even back then he'd liked her, he understood that now. And it might not have been love, but it slowly, carefully turned into that wonderful feeling that still let his heart go crazy. He laid his hand on his chest, smiling timidly as he understood that it was beating and he was alive, a living human being his father might've broken beyond repair, yet he knew he could build up something new out of those shattered pieces of ice.

He'd thought he was a wreck, he'd told her that, yet she'd wrapped him in her arms, putting him to sleep without letting go – she'd always been his anchor and he was pretty sure that'd never change.

He'd thought he was nothing, kept it to himself and all it did was hurt himself in the end as he was so worried about becoming his father he hadn't noticed the way he'd pushed her away – he'd untied that anchor, and yet it came back to him.

Maybe they were just bound together by that crazy twist of fate, anchoring them together in a storm that would have taken him under sooner or later.

The elevator dinged again, letting him exit as he quickly walked over to his room, opening the door that he'd officially forgotten to lock.

He sighed.

He had been afraid of intimacy, breaking down at a nice woman holding his hand. And now…now it was… okay.
It was fine.

Momo warmed his heart, melted his icy shell that kept him safe and protected in this snowfield he was wandering in aimlessly. She taught him to open up, and even though he had never felt this much in his life before, the sensation being overwhelming at times, he truly believed in what he'd told his sister that one faithful day.

He'd be okay.

His phone vibrating pulled him out of it, letting him look at his screen with furrowed eyebrows.

It was a single picture.

One he'd seen before.

In his mother's hospital room.

But this was a digital version, perfect and seemed like it was the original -

'How're you, masterpiece?' the text underneath it said.

What was he supposed to do? Should he tell his teacher? Or Momo?

'What do you want,' he texted back, shaking his head before changing into his school uniform.

That was Dabi. Definitely. What did he want from him?

Except for ripping open the scars Shouto'd thought were slowly healing?

The second he was tying his shoelaces, his phone started ringing.

He knew he shouldn't answer. He knew he should tell someone about this, about a villain contacting him, yet –

He wanted to know what he had to say after that shit show on TV that'd let him go into panic mode.

"Touya," Shouto said once he'd pressed the call button.

"Hey, little brother," the villain chuckled, "Touya's been long dead."

Huffing, Shouto sat down on the tatami mats, "Then why're you calling me your brother?"

"You got me there," the same mocking tone greeted him, "How's school? How's life? You okay?"
Furrowing his eyebrows, he took a deep breath, "Why would you care?"

"Because we're the same, Endeavor's son," the tone on the other line went deeper, the chuckling completely disappearing as chills ran down his spine, "The same freaky failures of a trophy father."

"I'm not…" Shouto wished his voice would work with him more and stop being so croaky, "I'm not a failure."
He was not like Dabi. He was not like the brother that'd died so many years ago he'd forgotten his face.

The brother that was, in fact, not dead, yet everything that would've made him the person he'd been before had disappeared.
The human on the other line was nothing like the brother he remembered from photographs, from happy little adventures in a time his quirk hadn't developed in, yet.

He'd dreamed of his siblings, when they were still allowed near him, the night Momo's mother had called to blow off the wedding.

And it was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever dreamed, yet everything had disappeared in flames.
Just like his brother had.

"Are you sure about that?" Dabi said, "Is there anything in your life that didn't happen because our old man wanted it to?"
Clenching his hand to a fist, Shouto let go of a long breath, trying to calm himself down as he saw the smoke his left shoulder was emitting.

"There's…There's a lot," he stammered, yet he knew how obvious that lie was.
The only thing his father probably didn't want was for him to get in contact with his brother. The man wouldn't have agreed to letting the Yaoyorozu's go, not without the money after all he'd pulled them into.

Saying yes to Momo probably fit into his plan way too well.

Well, if it's like that, how am I gonna die?, his own words reverberated in his mind.
He'd never found out an answer to this question.

Goosebumps formed on his skin as he felt his breath run short.

Is it possible that his father actually…had a plan for a heroic death for him?

He'd never stop pushing him into footsteps that were way too big for him.

"Like I thought, masterpiece, like I thought," the voice on the other line interrupted his thoughts, "Do you want to pay it back to him?"

"What do you mean?" Shouto stared at the wall, trying to blend out how hollow he felt all of a sudden.

"I've got a plan," Dabi laughed, then, "A plan in which Endeavor will lose, and you will win."

Taking a shaky breath, Shouto looked at the ceiling, "Why would I trust you?"

"Because I only want your best, little brother. I only want all of us to be happy."

This reason…sounded way too much like the words his sister had said.

And she only wanted his best.

Could he…Would he be able to make everyone happy?

If he…If Endeavor was gone, would they all be happy again?"

But he couldn't…

He couldn't trust him. He couldn't trust that villain, even though he was his brother. He just couldn't and he shouldn't and

Momo would be so mad at him for keeping the conversation going-

His mind kept spinning.

"No," he whispered, "I'm different. I'm not like you. I'm not like our father. Don't…Don't call again."

"You'll come to realize the truth, masterpiece, and it will rip you apart."

Shouto hung up.

"Why're you so late?" Momo whispered to him when Present Mic had started his class as Shouto'd missed the first class completely, already preparing for having to talk to their teacher later on.

"I'll explain it later," he answered her just as quietly, turning around to look at their blonde teacher who hadn't stopped talking, yet Shouto could feel his eyes on them.

"Okay," Momo replied, concentrating back on her studies.

He let go of a long breath, thinking that it was everything she had to say as he knew he'd get absolutely nothing from this lesson. There was too much going on inside his head.

He was not his father, she'd said.

He was not his brother, she'd said.

And he had no idea who he was except for the fact that she was in love with him.

As well as he was with her, yet…everything was so confusing. Not what he was feeling for her, that was clear and he hadn't lied about anything he'd told her. God, he'd even slept with her, of course he loved her and if he was feeling about anything else just a quarter of how much he felt for her, his mind would be so much easier to deal with.

His father was a prick, had been and will always be, at least in his memory, and now he'd suddenly allowed them to marry? This didn't make sense. And then there was Dabi, his long lost brother that wanted to give him the opportunity to somehow have their father pay back the wrong's he'd done?

He didn't want revenge or something like that, he just wanted peace, he wanted to cuddle back into bed with Momo, burn his damn phone and hide underneath the blankets forever.

We're both freaky failures of the same trophy father.

We're not the same, Shouto thought, not the same at all.
He was himself.

He wasn't nothing. He was himself. He could be who he wanted to be.

His mother'd always told him that and yet he was the same as his father as she hated him and poured boiling water over his face-

Shouto let go of a long breath.

He didn't hate Endeavor. He didn't hate Todoroki Enji, his father.

He just hated himself.

And how he always made everyone he loved hurt him before leaving him all alone.

Why did it suddenly feel…like Momo would hate him as well, one day?

What if he may not be his father, but yet he's…just as bad?

Or worse?

If he- If he hurt her-

Wasn't he… just a failed project after all?

Unloved by his father, hurt and left alone by his mother, isolated all his life to the point where he didn't even know what friends were-

How was she supposed to stay when he couldn't even love himself?

A note fell on his desk, startling him as he looked up to see Momo smile at him, yet the smile didn't reach her eyes as she pointed at the note.
He took a deep breath, unfolding the tiny paper while he slowly seemed to realize how his fingers shook, the ice crunching underneath his fingertips.

'I don't know what happened,' it said, 'but keep in mind that I love you and I'm sorry I overreacted this morning. I loved last night.'

He let out the air through his nose, looking at her as she nodded once again.

"Thank you," he whispered, a tiny smile gracing his lips as their teacher's voice overpowered them by lengths.
He took the note, then, turned the piece of paper around and uncapped his pen, quickly scribbling on the backside.

'No need to apologize. My mind's pulling me under again,' he wrote, 'The only thing I know is that I love you.'.

It didn't take long after he'd thrown the note on her desk that he'd received another one.

'What can I do?' was written on it.

The answer to that was easy.

'Just love me,' his answer said, 'That's enough.'

And even though everyone he loved had left him in this terrible world, he knew it was worth it.

Even if this love would be the death of him, this tiny taste of heaven was all he wanted.

He was a liar, an idiot and the worst person he could've imagined himself to be.

Tag team battles, that's how they were called.

"I won't let you win!" Momo'd grinned at him, Bakugou next to her getting in his typical start position.

"Is it finally time for a rematch to that damn scam you've out me through during the last sports festival?" the blonde grinned, sharp and vicious, letting Shouto know he had a worthy opponent for sure.

The bad thing was that he was completely out of it. It was…like he was standing next to himself, observing the whole situation as he nodded at his opponents before he looked at Kirishima next to him, who gave him a big smile and a thumbs up.

He should've known it'd go wrong.

He should've known it'd all go wrong.

The battle wasn't difficult, wasn't too hard as Momo'd started off with producing a staff, and he knew he'd lose if this was quirkless combat, yet it wasn't, so he let her slip on ice while he heard Kirishima yell at him from behind, his mind too occupied for him to understand.

It wasn't even like he was thinking a lot.

Everything was just blank as his heart was heavy, his breaths taking more strength than he knew was healthy.

Why couldn't he…just stop?

Stop thinking those terrible thoughts, how his brother'd turned into a villain-

Was he…was he really the same? He couldn't be, there was nothing behind it, even if they were the son of the same failure-
If his brother hated himself as well?

And the person he was, the way he made it impossible for anyone to love him as he couldn't even bear to look at his face in the mirror-

He let go of an icy breath, everything moving in slow motion.

Then there was fire.

No, not fire, he knew it was one of Bakugou's explosions, yet it was so close and his mind couldn't- it couldn't understand it.

It was like his father, the flaming figure way too close as his lower back started hurting once again, the old scar pulsing with the memory of the day his father'd beaten him beyond repair.

The day he'd struck him down, the day his hate for his fire side had started after his mother was gone-

The day his mother'd taken away all possibility to love himself as his presence had reminded her too much of his father-

That was the day he'd broken, the day he'd given up on himself.

But his fire was his, his ice was his-
And he hadn't known, when he greeted the fire with fire.

He only realized the scream after it'd happened.

He'd miscalculated.

It was too hot, to much as he lit himself in the fire that was both his rise and downfall. Both his fuel and extinguisher.
And he had no control over it.

There was so much red, yet he could also see flickers of lighter yellow where the flames were even hotter.

Maybe even a flicker of blue.

That's when his mind caught up. There'd been a scream.

And he knew the voice of the person way too well for it to be true.

"Is everything okay?" Kirishima asked the black haired girl sitting on the ground.

It was like Shouto had been weighed down, kept in his place further away while his hearing was so dim and weird, yet he could see how All Might arrived, faintly realizing that the former number one hero was looking at him.

"It's fine," she answered, her teeth clenched as she tried to smile, hiding her arm behind her back.

("Mommy, what's wrong?" he'd asked.

She was crying, sitting on the tatami mats, her phone in hand as she tried to hide her tears. The white haired woman flinched, then, looking at her son with a fear in her eyes that he'd only come to understand so much later.

"It's fine," she'd whispered, soothingly running her hands through his hair. Only his right side, only the white strands while the hidden pain stopped her from his left side.

The side he'd resented ever since.

It was two days later that she'd poured boiling water over his face.)

It's fine, she'd said.

Shouto huffed.

So he was the same after all.

Hurting the one he loved.

This fire would only bring destruction. This family would only bring bad luck.

And everyone he loved suffered because of him.

No, that wasn't completely true.

He wasn't just like his father.

He was worse.

Letting go of a shaky breath, Shouto looked at the sky, then back to the scene in front of him as Bakugou took a look at the burned hand the dual haired had caused.

It was never his intention to make her cry, yet the tears were streaming down her face.

He'd promised he'd never hurt her, yet she was burned because he lost control.
Just like his father always had.

He'd told her he'd only bring her down, and now she was here, trying to smile at him, the gesture not the least bit reassuring as he knew those fronts.

The front of his mother acting tough before it all came crashing down.

This was it.

That's who he was.

A liar.

An idiotic liar.

And he'd broken her too.

"Shouto?" he heard, yet his mind went on autopilot as he slowly looked at the girl on the floor who was carefully lifted up by his classmates because he couldn't even admit to the wrong he's done.

Just like his father.

He was just like his father, yet he was worse as exactly that was what he'd been trying to prevent.

Again, he took a shaky breath, exhaling slowly as he averted his gaze.

Then he turned around and ran.

"Wait," she yelled after him, trying to stand up, yet her hand touched the ground and she flinched, falling again.

This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all!

That…That look in his eyes-

"We'll get you to Recovery Girl," Kirishima said, smiling at her even though he looked gravely concerned.

"I can do that later," she snapped, getting to her knees with her left hand, the one that hadn't been burned, "I…I need to-"

I need to hold his hand.

Because…

That scream she'd heard in her dream was her own.

She had screamed- He- What did he think? What was going on inside his head?

Was this…where she got burned?

If she didn't hold onto his hand, he'd turn to dust in this burning world.

She only knew she had to go after him.

"You need to get this looked after, you're fucking bleeding," Bakugou interrupted sternly, "damn half and half being out of it-"

"It's okay, it really is, I'm fine, it's okay-"

"Young Yaoyorozu," All Might said, the others on their own battle grounds out of their view, "Please, you're hurt badly. Young Todoroki is going to be fine-"

"You don't know anything," she snapped, clenching her teeth together she got to her feet, only then really feeling how dizzy she felt as she looked at her right arm. The terrible burns, bleeding at her knuckles, stretched all they way to her biceps-
She hadn't taken cover in time. The heat resistant blanket she'd produced had slipped off her arm and she knew today wasn't a too good day-

This was a disaster in every way.

And all of that right after they- Right after they-

"He-… He-" she didn't even know what she wanted to say. What she could say- "Please-"

And then everything went blurry while she only felt a steadying hand around her waist before everything went dark.

The second Momo's eyes snapped open, she sat up in her hospital bed, looking around to realize she was in Recovery Girl's office.

She didn't care, not at all, that she was hurt and that it probably wasn't good to be moving so quickly if her stamina had reclined for healing- She just couldn't care.

Grabbing her boots, she slipped into them before she sprung up, looking at her arm that was wrapped neatly in bandages.

"Yaoyorozu," Recovery Girl said as she entered the room, "Please, rest-"

"I can't. I need to go," Momo bit out, resting her arm at her side once again, realizing that it didn't hurt anymore, "Thank you," she bowed slightly before rushing through the door.

There was no time.

No time at all.

She knew where to go.

Light green tiles had told her this in her dreams so many times there was no way for her to forget about them.
She patted her sides, realizing that she didn't have her phone with her, still in her hero costume as she took her cape and pulled it close a little, knowing it'd be very cold outside.

Yet she also didn't care about that. They'd wandered through the snow together before.

They'd made out in that terrible, disgusting subway in the middle of the night after the Awase incident.

They'd also taken the subway that wonderful Christmas Eve where he'd proposed to her-

Why was this fate always mixing their love and demise, their success and failure together? Blurring the lines again and again?

Pushing open the door to go outside, she went into a sprint, seeing that it was indeed snowing once again.
This wasn't fair at all.

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and she faintly recognized she passed by Kirishima and Bakugou once again, answering their unasked question, "Subway station. It's bad."

Then she started sprinting.

She had no idea how much time had passed. Was he still going to be there? Of course, that's what her dreams had told her again and again-

The question was just- Would she be too late?

No, it couldn't be. She couldn't think like this.

He'd burned her. She knew it was an accident, and she didn't blame him at all- they were training to be heroes, they were going to get hurt sooner or later. It was completely okay, and even if those burns left scars, it'd be okay. Yet- She'd seen that look in her eyes. That self-loathing look in his eyes that told her he was thinking exactly what she was afraid of.
He'd always been afraid of turning into his father. He'd always been afraid of hurting the one he loved, he'd told her that so many times.

He'd thought he was nothing, she'd taught him he was himself and now-

Now he'd burned her.

And she knew the person who got hurt a lot more was him.

Why…Why did she have to pass out? She should've went right behind him, she should've kissed his cheek and told him everything'd be alright-

Maybe it was that. That slow front, that simple white lie saying that it was fine even though she was very obviously hurt-

Did she break his trust once again?

She knew he'd burn her. She knew this was going to happen, and yet- she couldn't- she couldn't do anything-

The tears escaped her eyes as she remembered that one nightmare from last night.
He'd died. He'd died in her arms and she'd forgotten all about it and-

Please don't let her be too late, she thought as she tried to go faster and faster in the snow falling all around her.

Stumbling down the staircase, she panted for a little while, her left hand laid down on the light green tiles for support.
Gasping for air, she coughed a few times before she started to run once again.
Which lane was it? The one towards the town? She couldn't recall, she had no idea- She was so dizzy, everything was too much-

No, she had to stay calm. She had to stay calm to save him.

He wasn't on the way downtown, she realized, quickly running upstairs again to change the opposite one that lead out of town.

"Shouto," she gasped, her right hand hurting so much, while she was so, so tired, yet she pushed herself to step forward as he turned towards her.

He took a step back.

"Don't come closer," he calmly said, yet the pure fear she saw in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

"I'm okay," she explained, quickly, taking another tiny step towards him while he took another one back, the rails way too close for her liking, "I swear I'm fine. It's going to be okay. You did nothing wrong."

"You'll get hurt if you stay," his voice went quiet, "That's what I'd told you from the start. Stay away as far as you can."

"I'm not afraid of you, Shouto," she tried, resisting the urge to take another step forward, "I'd never be afraid of you."

He laughed, then, dryly and so devastated that chills went down her spine.

"I'm afraid of myself," he answered, "Of what I can do."

"It wasn't your fault, it's- It was just training, of course it can happen that I'll get hurt-"

"But not through my hands!" he yelled, the little group of people around them shying away, "Not-" his voice broke, "Not through me."

A loud rustling took her attention as she quickly waged how far away he was from danger, thankfully realizing that he was still safe as the next subway arrived.

"Shouto," she started, taking another step forward as the doors opened, "Please-"

"Stay away!" he answered, freezing her feet to the floor before he looked at his hands so resentfully she realized she couldn't even grasp a quarter of his pain, "Don't follow me. Just- You can't be- you can't be happy when I'm here."

"That's not true!" her eyes widened, "You know- You know I'm happy. I love you."

"This love will be the end of you, just like my mother-," he huffed, turning towards the subway, grasping the door before he looked at her once again, "I guess I'm just a trophy father's trophy son."

Her heart stopped.

No.

That was the line she'd feared the most.

"You're not-" he stepped, just a moment before the door closed. She slipped out of her shoes, uncaring of slipping on the ice as she ran towards him, looking at him through the window while she pressed the button for the doors to open again but it didn't- it didn't work, "You're not like your father."

"That's true," she could faintly hear his words, "I'm worse."

"Shouto-" she tried, yet the subway started moving, and in the same split second her eyes widened at a more or less familiar silhouette in the background her words got stuck in her throat.

Aqua blue eyes looked at the boy in front of her as she had to take her hands away from the subway, everything moving slowly as Shouto turned around to his brother, surprise on his face-

Before they even disappeared in the tunnel, blue flames consumed everything before an explosion ripped the station apart-

She only felt a hand on her shoulder before she was flat on the ground, ignoring the person talking to her as she stumbled to get to her feet, falling to her knees right away while she watched the world burn.

Her worst nightmare…

…was coming true.

Notes:

Welcome to Crash.

Feel free to yell at me on tumblr and or on discord or in the comments here, I'll... be excited to hear your thoughts.

*nervous chuckling*

I hope you'll have a wonderful day...?

Chapter 30: Just crash, fall down...

Summary:

And I know,
I've said this all before,
But opposites attract.
We try and run away,
But end up running back.
And all I want to do,
All I want to do,
Is lie down and…

Crash, fall down.

Crash - You Me at Six

Notes:

Heyoo, I'm back.

Title drop.

I hope you'll enjoy.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The world was burning.

And she was kneeling in the ashes of all she ever loved.

Sobs rippled through her throat, her chest constricting as nothing seemed to fully register in her mind except the fact that everything she'd feared was coming true.

All of those nightmares, those sleepless nights she'd spent after waking up afraid-

Was all of that for nothing?

Would it really…Would it really end like this?

"Oi," a voice interrupted her as her shoulders were gripped hard, the person shaking her to get her attention, "Ponytail, wake up."

"It's-" she stammered, everything moving in slow motion, "It's too late, I-…I messed everything up."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" she heard her classmate argue, voice as gruff as always, "Half and half's still fighting."

What?

Blinking, Momo concentrated on the way the bright blue flames spread in the station, only then realizing the shards of ice directing the flames in other directions.

She jumped up, stumbling again before she stood upright, ready to charge into battle.

"Will you wait?! It's my damn job to charge in thoughtlessly," her classmate grabbed her non bandaged arm to pull her back.

She just wanted…

He was right.

This was Dabi from the League of Villains.

And when she saw more walls of ice, she couldn't stop that tiny glimmer of hope that gave her the strength to think in this moment all thoughts had left her mind.

"I have a plan," the determination let her chest puff up a little from where she'd sunken in on herself before, "I'll need your help, Bakugou."

"Don't you fucking tell me what to do," the blonde grinned back.

Building another wall of ice in front of him, Shouto tried to get his rapidly beating heart under control.

This wasn't…This wasn't what was supposed to happen. He just…He just wanted to get away from there, yet-

He was such an idiot.

There was no way she'd be happy if he stayed, that's why he wanted to go. It didn't even matter where he went as long as he couldn't hurt her anymore.

Yes, that was all he did. Hurt her again and again, in every possible way while he was trying to protect her.

She should've just let it all be instead of getting herself mixed into this horrific situation, into this miserable life he'd been leading. If he could turn back time…he would've…he would've…

A shaky breath escaped him as he knew he was lying.

He was one selfish bastard, wasn't he? Even if he could do it all again, he'd do it. This hope, this warmth she'd showed him- he'd never trade it for anything in this world.

Even if it all crashed down today, he'd be happy to say that the one by his side was her.

"What's wrong, little brother?" Dabi asked while laughing "Didn't think I'd locate your phone?"

Ah, so that's what he'd done. That would certainly explain the perfect timing he'd had.

Shouto looked around, noting that there weren't any civilians close to them, yet he was sure there were people in the wagon behind the villain. Possibly also behind Shouto as the only wagon that'd exploded was the one they were in. His breath was already turning icy as he realized he'd only make more damage with his flames.

He couldn't use them.

No matter if it was his own power, or his father's or whoever's.

This fire was a curse and he…he couldn't use it.

"Why should I even talk to you?" Shouto replied, knowing his voice would be loud enough to reach beyond the wall of ice that was slowly melting, "You're…nothing but a…"

He couldn't even call him a liar, knowing he'd been right from the start.

They were one and the same. The same freaky failures of a trophy father, the offsprings of a monster that never had the chance to do it differently.

No, that wasn't right, either. Shouto had the chance to do it change everything. He had the chance to turn it all around and yet he was the same.

He didn't deserve the love Momo gave him day by day. He didn't deserve the things she's given him, and it didn't matter that she'd said he deserved more than just the world as he knew she was blinded by this misery their lives were. It was his fault for letting her fall for him in the first place.

Everything was his fault.

He wasn't nothing. He was less than nothing, and he- he didn't deserve this life he'd been granted.

Not if he messed it all up anyway.

Taking another deep breath, he righted his sight at the man in front of him that took steps towards him as the wall of ice wasn't even a foot high anymore.

"You're not even stopping me?" the villain asked incredulously, "Do you want to know about the plan after all?"

The plan to make Endeavor pay?

No. Shouto didn't care about that. He had no right to be mad at the man that'd made him when he was messing his life up all by himself.

If everything would've lead to this if he'd just done everything exactly how his father'd planned it for him?

Would be become number one, then? Would he die some heroic death instead of falling to his knees in a half exploded subway station while his older brother had all possibility to just…

"Just end it already," Shouto spat, his voice breaking as he tried to keep himself from crying as he stared at the man in front of him.

That must've been a funny picture, him kneeling there on uneven ground, the world around them burning as his brother stood there, looking down at him.

The black haired man furrowed his eyebrows as he tilted his head.

"Shouto!" he heard a familiar voice, then, letting go of another breath at the realization that it wasn't that easy after all as he saw the silhouette of a familiar girl in front of him, stepping through the flames as an explosion distracted the villain.

So she hadn't given up on him.

He felt her hand on his biceps as she wanted to pull him up, a fire resistant blanket wrapped around her like her cape must've been before. When he made no move to get up, the soft support turned into a vice grip.

"Come on, please!" her facial expression seemed exasperated as her eyebrows pulled themselves together and she closed her eyes before she looked at him directly again, "You'll die in here if you don't move."

Shouto didn't move.

She let go of him.

"Do you want to die, Shouto?" she asked quietly, almost not audible over the loud rustling of the flames, yet he knew what she asked all the same.

His silence seemed to be answer enough as she stood in front of him, pulling him up by force while he wondered if she'd always been this strong-

"We'll have to talk about this once we're out of here," she pushed him forward and out of the subway before she jumped out as well, pulling him with her, "You're completely out of it. And no, I'm not mad at you, it's just…" she took a deep breath as he saw how the subway behind her kept burning bright blue as a river of tears flowed down her cheeks, "Why is it that with every step we take forward, you're taking ten back?!"

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

He knew she was right, he knew she was telling the truth, yet-

It didn't change the fact that he was the same as his father.

"What for?" she argued, "For making me cry once again?" wiping her tears away angrily, she took another step towards him, as he quickly took one back, "For accidentally burning me? Or breaking my heart again and again because no matter how many times you promise me you'll talk to me you come to horrific and completely false conclusions all on your own?!"

"They're not wrong," he whispered, looking to his right, "I'm a trophy-"

"Trophy father's trophy son?!" she went towards him too quickly, giving him no time to step back as she grabbed his shoulders, "You're not like your father. This…This misery shows it best, doesn't it? Did your father ever cry for hurting you?"

"No," he breathed out.

But he wasn't crying either-

Her hands cupped his cheeks as she wiped the rivers away. His eyes widened.

"It was an accident, okay? It was nothing but a very dumb accident after a horrible day that'd been taking you apart all along, do you get that? My hand doesn't even hurt," she put her bandaged hand on her chest, right above the point where he knew her heart was buried underneath, "My heart hurts, and I know yours does too, right?"

The lump in his throat made it impossible to answer as he nodded, a broken 'Mh hm' all he could muster up.

"Do you love me?" she asked, her eyes determined even though there were still tears tracking their way down her chin.

He nodded.

"Does loving me hurt you like this?"

He stood still.

Her hands went back to cupping his cheeks.

"Does it hurt because you fear you'll bend me until I break like your mother did?"

At that moment he forgot how to breathe as he tried to look everywhere but her eyes as the tears began to flow once again.

"You're afraid that my love for you will be my downfall," she whispered, and he knew it wasn't a question as he mustered up all his power to nod, "You think I'm better off without you."

He bit his lip, trying to keep the sobs in that let his hands shake while he struggled to get air into his lungs.

It was at this second that another explosion, this time mixed red and blue, barely entered his consciousness as he spun them around, holding her by her waist.

The sting in his side almost pushed him to his knees as he wrapped his arms around her, knowing she was safe as her hands started to shake.

"No," she whispered, "No, no, no, no-"

They went to their knees, letting him groan in pain as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"This can't be," she whispered, her hands shaking violently as she held him close to her, carefully moving her hand on his back until he cried into her shoulder when she touched the shred of metal that must've hit him, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"It's my fault," he croaked, concentrating on breathing as every inch his chest moved sent waves of pain through his body, "I'm an idiot."

"Y-You're not," she took her hand away, sobbing loudly as she seemed to realize the amount of blood that was leaving his body, "I'm sorry for yelling at you, please-" he tried to pull back a little, yet she held him in place, "please don't move. We can…We can fix this."

"I... I'm so sorry for this mess I caused," he coughed, praying it wasn't blood that'd rustled as he felt the pain ripple through his body once again.

"It's okay," she whispered, tangling her hand in his dual colored strands while more explosions broke the silence around them.

"What…What about the civilians?" he coughed again.

"Don't worry about it, Bakugou knows how to deal. Help is on the way," her fingers in his hair tightened their grip, caressing his scalp, "Just concentrate on me. I've got you, it's going-" she took a deep breath, "It's going to be okay. We'll be okay."

He took in a deep breath through his nose, trying to take in her smell as he couldn't stop the shaking of his hands as he held onto her back, unable to move.

"I don't want to die," his voice broke.

And it was the truth.

This…this easy way out…he didn't want it. Not when she was holding him like this and his mind cleared up, letting him see the mess he'd caused when he ran off like that. She was right. He…had been too focused on blaming himself after everything just built up after his brother's call.

"I know," her voice was quiet as well.

"I…I need help," he admitted, burying his face in her shoulder before slowly letting go of a long breath.

He hoped she understood what he meant.

"We'll get you help," she nodded, "I promise."

Hearing more explosions, he realized how dim everything got, her voice sounding further and further away.

"I love you," he distantly heard, "Don't fall asleep. Stay with me," a hiccup interrupted her, "Don't go."

"…love you too," he tried to say, yet he wasn't sure if his words reached her.

It suddenly got so warm, as if the fire was coming closer, yet he couldn't grasp if it was just his mind playing tricks on him or-

The next second everything went cold.

That was when he knew he was dying.

Momo's tears turned to full out cries as he fell against her.

This- This just couldn't happen.

Where…Where was Kirishima? He…He wanted to get help. At least that's what Bakugou had said.

He couldn't die. Why had she forgotten about that nighmare? She should've known her worst dreams to come true the moment Dabi revealed his identity.

She really should've known.

"I've got you," she whispered, feeling the blood from her hands in the back of his neck as she hadn't even thought about wiping it off. All she could concentrate on were the soft and shallow breaths that showed her he was still alive as she shook too much herself to listen for his heartbeat, "Stay with me, please."

Not after everything, not after she thought she'd saved him when she got him out of that burning subway-

Her chest hurt so much as she couldn't really breathe, not when she knew that he was hurt so bad, but she couldn't look, she couldn't see what was wrong. There was so much blood and if she tried to move him, she'd only hurt him more and more and it'd make everything worse so there was absolutely nothing she could do.

He was dying in her arms and there was nothing she could do to save him.

"I love you," she kissed the side of his head, holding him in place carefully.

"Get down!" Bakugou yelled, yet she knew they couldn't and the moment her head snapped up to look at the blonde hero-in-training she saw the giant wave of blue flames coming at them.

It happened too fast, she couldn't take her heat resistant blanket, she couldn't move in fear of hurting him.

Was that how they'd die?

Was that going to be their end?

She closed her eyes, praying to that crazy fate of theirs to have mercy on them.

The hit never came, and when she looked up to see what had happened, she witnessed the most beautiful, the most mind-blowing performance of power she'd ever seen in her life.

A wall of ice separated them from the villain on the other side.

But it wasn't a simple wall, it was the most beautiful, intriguing and sharp portrayal of an ice quirk.

A head of white hair, glowing due to the light blue flames behind the wall was all she saw as the relief flooded her being for a split second before she heard a cough right beside her ear. He was still hurt, he was still in danger-

„Don't you dare touch your brother, Touya," Momo heard as she tried to concentrate on the almost ethereal woman in front of her.

Was that…?

No way.

"Rei?" she whispered and Shouto's mother turned around to her, no smile visible on her face as her gaze seemed even colder than the north pole.

"Shouto," a male voice then said calmly before she looked to her right to see someone fall down next to her while her mind seemed so slow before she recognized his brother.

"Natsuo?" she asked, a second white haired woman joining her other side, "Fuyumi?"

"We met them on the way here!" Kaminari grinned, even though the smile didn't reach his eyes as Midoriya and Kirishima joined them, Bakugou greeting them with a scowl on his face. Jirou ran in right behind them.

"Ma'am," their teacher then said, putting a hand on the shoulder of Shouto's mother, "Be careful not to hurt anyone."

"I know it's not legal, but I can't let my children hurt each other," the white haired replied, the grim look on her face turning determined as Aizawa nodded.

"You can talk to him from a safe distance," the black haired teacher replied, eliciting a nod from the worried mother, "Kaminari, Jirou, Kirishima, evacuate the civilians."

"What happened?" Natsuo asked her, yet Momo's mind took a second to look away from the scene playing in front of them as the ice started to melt, "Momo, what happened?"

She blinked before she was back in the here and now, "Explosion. Lots of blood, way too much blood-"

"Are you hurt?" Fuyumi asked, yet Momo shook her head.

She was fine, at least physically.

"Okay," Natsuo nodded, taking a deep breath before he looked at her determinedly, "Your quirk is creation, isn't it?"

She nodded.

"Fuyumi, call an ambulance. I…" the white haired put his hands together to get his nerves together, "I need to do first aid."

The white haired elementary school teacher nodded before she turned around, taking out her phone to type a familiar number.

"Momo, are you with me? I need you here," Natsuo said and Momo looked up to him.

She had to clear up.

She had to help.

"Yes," she replied, nodding carefully while she still held Shouto's head, the other hand placed on his side, "What can I do?"

Letting go of a shaky breath, Natsuo took a quick look at the situation Momo hadn't seen, "Scissors, please?"

Concentrating, she tried to blend out her emotions. Her fear, her guilt and regret – they all didn't matter, not right now. Not when she knew there was someone in danger, right here, right now.

And she could help.

She could be a hero.

The silver pair of scissors emerged from her leg as she took her clean hand to pick them up and give them to the man in front of her.

"Is he still breathing?" Natsuo asked and Momo nodded quickly, feeling the hesitant and slow heaving of his chest against her.

"Too slow," she said, slowly regaining her confidence as she realized she wasn't useless.

She would be useless if she did nothing.

But she could also save the man she loved if she stopped being caught up in her fear of losing him-

"Fuyumi, are they sending the ambulance?"

"Help's on the way, they're keeping me in the line," their sister said determinedly even though the tears were pricking at the corners of her eyes.

"Good," exhaling another shaky breath, the white haired took the scissors and tried his best to carefully slice through the blue fabric of Shouto's jacket, "I never…I never thought my first patient would be my baby brother. Can you speak to him? Keep him awake?"

"I…I'll try," she whispered, trying to lean downwards to him as far as she could, "Hey, Shouto, are you awake?"

A slight hum greeted her.

"Do you remember the day we first met?" she asked quietly, knowing that his siblings were completely concentrated on giving the information to the first aid helpers in the ambulance, taking measures and locating the wound as she tried to blend all of it out.

He hummed again, the vibration the only indicator of him answering.

She didn't like that at all.

"I…I wanted to scold you. I wanted to scold you for sitting on those dirty stairs so late after school," she whispered, "I was so worried about you then, too."

He didn't react.

She tried to keep herself from crying once again, keeping her hand buried in his hair. He was warm as he was leaning against her.

"I liked you back then, too," she admitted, "I was so intrigued by that brute strength behind a mysterious exterior and after getting to know you there was so much more behind that facade and- I don't know, I just love you too much, please don't leave me," she realized she was rambling, yet her mind just couldn't stop as the sounds of the fight next to them tuned out every single thought in her head, leaving nothing but confusion as she whispered the same words, again and again. Don't leave me, I love you.

Don't leave me.

That's when she noticed that the pressure against her chest had stopped.

I love you.

Exhaling a shaky breath, she blinked to keep the tears in check, yet they found their way as she tried to talk around the lump in her throat, "He's…He's…"

"Shit," Natsuo said loudly, leaning over to yell into the phone, "Where are you?!"

Please don't leave me.

"How…" his mother whispered, "How did this happen, Touya?"

She…was out of the hospital after all? Free to go?

He deflected the kick of the green haired kid Shigaraki'd set his eyes upon.

Wasn't his mother supposed to be broken? Just like he was?

Just like his brother was?

Dabi knew he had to forget about using his quirk with Eraserhead next to the white haired angel his mother was.

"You know what he did to us," he spat, "What he did to you."

He knew he couldn't win. He knew there was no chance in hell he'd get out of that situation.

His plan had been idiotic from the moment he'd revealed it all on TV. Shigaraki hadn't been happy with that, to say it nice. Dabi was happy his wrist was still in tact after that.

Yet…what else was he supposed to do?

His plan was to make Endeavor suffer. His plan was to pay the pain, the hurt he'd felt all his life back tenfold-

"Just end it already."

That wasn't his plan.

This…wasn't what he'd expected.

Sure, it must've been obvious that his brother has hurt as well, yet-

He wanted him to act against Endeavor.

He hadn't wanted him to destroy himself.

"Of course I know that," he looked at his mother once again, stopping his defense as he was hit in the stomach hard, the explosive kid from back then using the situation to its fullest.

Rei looked so sad, her head tilted slightly as she came a step towards him, Eraserhead wanting to stop her, yet the green haired held him back. Dabi fell to his knees, clutching his stomach as he looked up at her.

She looked just like he remembered her.

Before she'd broken.

An angel in the form of his mother, falling to her knees in front of him.

"Of course I know what he did to you," she whispered, the tiny smile she tried to muster lost in the tears flowing over her cheeks, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I failed as a mother so many times."

"You…You didn't fail," he tried to reason.

He didn't want to fight anymore.

"I did, Touya, my son," she nodded, "I failed in protecting all of you, I failed in being strong when you would've needed it the most. I hurt my youngest child, poured…" she took a deep breath, trying to blink away the tears before she looked back at him, "…boiling water over his face."

She scooted closer, a little, as he didn't dare to move, afraid of scaring her away, "I should've never let all of this happen. You…You wouldn't have become a villain- You wouldn't have…killed someone."

She knew about that sand hero?

His biggest achievement.

And yet his biggest regret.

"You wouldn't have tried to…" a hiccup interrupted her before she swallowed, turning around to look at the scene behind them he hadn't even registered, "You wouldn't have tried to murder your little brother."

"I-"

I didn't.

I never wanted to hurt him. Not really.

And yet he could only see the paramedics, hear the cries of the girl standing next to them, held back by his sister as she wanted to go after them.

He could only see the bloodshed he'd caused.

"Let me go," the girl screamed, panic so prominent in her voice that he just knew what the difference was.

The difference between his broken soul and the one lying on a stretcher while being carefully carted out of here.

His sister let go of the girl after his other brother talked to her, the black haired girl running up the stairs the next second.

Someone loved his brother.

And if he hurt him, he'd break another heart that'd never done anything to him.

His brother had never done anything bad to him.

Shouto had been a child, not even six years old when everything'd gone wrong. And this child had never chosen to have the perfect quirk.

He'd been wrong.

He'd been so wrong all along.

"Touya," his mother pulled his attention back to her as he flinched, realizing how close she'd gotten, spreading her arms in front of him, as if she wanted to hug him.

"I did terrible things, mom," his voice broke.

"I know," she smiled, her eyes closing, "And still you're my son."

"You don't hate me?"

"I never could," her voice was nothing more than a breath of air, "But you have to take responsibility for your actions."

Dabi looked up at the black haired man that slowly came closer to them, probably readying his capture scarf that he'd met before.

They'd arrest him.

Would that be so bad?

He wasn't even sure he'd be able to face himself in the mirror.

Looking back at his mother, he realized how she slowly let her arms sink, realizing that he hadn't taken the chance.

If that was the last thing he'd do out here in this free world…

He wrapped his arms around his mother.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, "I'm so, so sorry."

"I know, Touya," she replied, "I pray it'll be okay."

They stayed like this for a long time, tears running down his cheeks, burning on the scarred and hurt skin, yet he couldn't care about that as the weight of his sins came crashing down on him.

With a last sniff, he pulled back, getting to his feet as he stepped towards Eraserhead.

He held his hands out.

And he surrendered.

"Keep calm, miss, we're not even allowed to take you with us," the brown haired woman said as they sat in the ambulance, the paramedic pressing on the ventilator to keep the oxygen flow stable.

"Mh hm," was all Momo could muster as she concentrated on the slow but stable beating of the machines as she realized she had enough space to take Shouto's hand.

Yet she didn't take it, at first, looking at the woman who was respirating him, waiting for any form of approval. The paramedic gave her a slight nod, so Momo quickly held onto the calloused and cold hand in front of her.

"Judging from the location, I'd try for liver and lung damage, as well as cut through ribs," Natsuo said, his hands full with blood as he talked to the second paramedic, a young blonde man with which they'd carefully turned the dual haired boy on his side.

"There's also chance of internal bleeding from changing the position," the paramedic nodded.

The rivers on Momo's cheeks won in strength once again as she tried to stifle her cries with her second hand, realizing that she must've smeared blood all over her face, yet she couldn't care about this.

Her heard broke when the steady beeping turned to a flatline-

"Shit, Shiro," the woman screamed, "Step on the gas, will ya?!"

Momo's sight turned blurry, and she didn't even realize how they'd gotten to the hospital.

Nor how she'd entered, holding onto his hand until the woman took it away, smiling at her sadly while her colleague delivered all information they'd gathered.

Sinking to her knees, she watched the glass doors close.

"P-Please don't go," she whispered as she folded in on herself, burying her face at her knees as she clutched her hands on the back of her head.

She tried to hide from the world, as she couldn't keep her racing heart under control.

"Momo," she heard someone, yet she couldn't move as she didn't know how to move or what to think or what to do when she didn't know what was going on inside there and if he was-

If he was dying.

What…What was she supposed to do? What…how…was she supposed to live without him?

Her heart hurt so much as she sobbed, and sobbed, feeling a steady hand on her shoulder.

It must've been forever until she was able to breathe again, taking her hands away from her protective position as Natsuo helped her up, setting her down on one of the plastic seats by the wall.

"It's going to be alright," he whispered, resting his hands on her shoulders reassuringly, "You did everything you could."

"B-But," she tried to swallow around the lump in her throat, knowing how miserable she must look, "What if it wasn't enough?"

"It's not your fault, Momo, always remember that," the white haired took a deep breath, "That's the first thing I learned at doctor's school. We…aren't gods. And there's only a limited amount to what we can do, no matter how hard we try."

"I thought," she exhaled slowly, sniffing as she knew her nose was still running, "I thought I could save him all by myself. But…" she took a deep breath, interrupting herself with a hiccup, "Love doesn't heal all wounds, does it?"

"It can't," he smiled sadly, the tears in his eyes only then registering in her mind, "It can only ease the pain."

"What…What am I supposed to do?" her voice broke.

"Be there for him," he nodded, "That's all we can do. Love him, because he needs that. Don't beat yourself up too much," his grip on her shoulder tightened, "There's scars even a superhero can't heal."

"You think I'm a hero?" she whispered.

He nodded, "I know that he thinks the same."

"And still I couldn't…" she looked away, staring at her blood stained hands.

"What do you think would've happened if you didn't give him what you did? If you didn't teach him what you did? If you didn't love him like I know you do?"

"I…" she shook her head. She had no idea. "Would he have been fine?"

"He was never fine, Momo. We…Fuyumi and I…We were slowly giving up on him. He was a ghost, wasting away in that training room on the other side of the house," he crouched in front of her, "Yes, this may not have happened, but…" he exhaled a long and shaky breath, "…would he have been living?"

He let go of her shoulders then, wiping his nose as he tried to hide his face, letting her realize that his hands were full of blood as well.

"Even if he dies today," his voice broke, "I don't think he would've regretted even a second of what he had with you."

"How can you be so sure of that?" her tears resumed their steady flow.

"Because he loves you so much he'd die for you, and I know that for sure," he wiped his hand on his grey jeans, "Even if everything is crashing down-" he swallowed, "I think he'd be happy to say that the one by his side was you."

She had no idea how he could've hit home more perfectly than with those words she'd whispered to the boy she loved the day they'd met as fiancées-

She buried her face in her hands as she sniffed, more and more tears falling.

"Yaomomo!" Jirou yelled when they entered the hospital, and Momo tried to get up, yet she stumbled, Natsuo holding her upright as her purple haired friend came towards her, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"We…We finished the evacuation, and support is there so everything's going to be fine-"

"He stopped breathing in my arms," was the only thing Momo could muster as all power had left her body.

"He- Oh no," the purple haired pulled away, turning around to their black haired teacher and their classmates as tears were flooding Midoriya's face as well.

Even Bakugou didn't scowl. He just looked…sad, while Kirishima put a hand on his shoulder.

The shock on Kaminari's face was so prominent Momo couldn't even guess what was going on in his mind.

"He's still in surgery," Natsuo explained, "It's…not looking…yeah."

"Yaoyorozu," Aizawa started, getting Momo's attention, "Was this…Did he…" a low growl escaped their teacher as he looked away, taking a second before looking at her again, "Did he try to end his life?"

"I don't…" she shook her head, "Not really, I don't think he really wanted to…" the rest of the sentence got lost in the air as she knew it wasn't the whole truth, "Is it…Is it possible for him to…get therapy? Real…therapy?"

She knew that's what he'd wanted to tell her when he asked her for help.

"I'll make sure he won't lose his provisional license," their teacher nodded, "This child has the potential to become a hero, I know that. He just needs…a hand to pull him up again."

Momo nodded quietly, looking at the floor to her feet, realizing how much she was shaking.

"He already has a therapist because of the Aphenphosmphobia, but…I think…we ignored the main cause of it all along."

"Is it…" Midoriya's eyes widened, "Is it PTSD?"

Taking a deep breath, Momo nodded again, "I think it is, but…we'll need someone professional to do a full evaluation."

Momo knew that meant he'd be here for another while…yet…she knew it was necessary.

If this…if something like this happened again…She wasn't sure she'd be able to keep herself upright. She couldn't even do it now.

"Yet…" she sniffed then, looking at the ceiling, "We don't even know if he'll-"

Survive today.

Her knees gave out once again, Jirou crutching her. "I've got you," the purple haired whispered. Nodding slowly Momo took a deep breath, "Do you…maybe, want to clean off?"

"What…What do you mean?" her mind didn't work fast enough to make sense of any of this.

"The blood?" the purple haired whispered.

Then Momo understood. She didn't…She didn't want to leave-

"We'll be here," Aizawa ensured her, "Go."

"Okay," she whispered, being held upright by her friend as they went towards the restrooms.

She didn't recognize herself in the mirror.

She was…yes, stained with blood, but she…she looked so dead inside that she just couldn't seem to recognize any of her facial features.

Leaning against the sink, she turned on the water and scrubbed the blood off her hands, then her arms and her face and the moment she saw the red water flow down the drain, she broke down.

Jirou was right next to her, making sure she didn't hurt herself as she sat down on the dirty floor, turning off the water before crouching in front of her. Her friend wrapped her arms around her, holding her close as she weeped, afraid and full of regret as everything they had went through her mind once again.

She'd met him at Ennichi, coincidentally, and she'd shown him that he had friends all around him.

She'd calmed him down from a panic attack, and she'd slowly fallen for him ever since the first time they'd met on the first day of school.

He'd voted for her as class representative on the second day of school.

Was that where their fates were sealed? Was that when everything set them up for this misery?

Had fate put them together in those crazy, painful and nonsensical twists, just to rip them apart now?

Just so it could leave her even colder than before?

"Jirou, Yaomomo," she heard someone yell down the corridor, and she faintly recognized Kirishima's voice as he knocked on the door, "Fast, come."

W-What?

Momo sprung up before her friend had even fully let go, pulling Jirou up with her as she ripped the door open and looked at Kirishima who gestured towards the place they'd been at earlier in front of the glass door.

She didn't wait for her friends as she ran, stumbling, but running nonetheless.

Seeing the man in green, having pulled down his surgical mask and looking at Natsuo and Fuyumi – when had they come here? Was that while they were in the bathroom? - while Rei was sitting down on the place Momo's sat before.

She knew the man was talking, and she didn't want to miss any of the words as she came to a halt right beside him, panting heavily as she felt herself get dizzy.

Momo listened, and she listened, yet –

She didn't seem to register any of the words.

Only after the doctor had finished and looked at all four of them, she realized that she hadn't heard a single word.

"Momo," she heard, quickly turning towards Rei who stood up slowly, taking a step towards her, "Did you hear?"

She shook her head.

"He'll live," the white haired woman said, a bright smile gracing her lips while she wiped away her tears, "He'll be okay."

"He'll…" she took a deep breath, getting even dizzier, "He'll be okay?"

Rei nodded.

Momo fell to her knees.

Shouto's mother wrapped her in her arms, holding her tight while running her hand through the raven strands as Momo weeped with the relief that was flooding her being.

She held onto the woman in front of her.

"It'll be okay."

Somehow, and she wasn't sure why…

Momo believed in those few little words.

Notes:

Feel free to yell at me here in the comments and/or on tumblr.

Now you know which song inspired this whole thing.

The Natsuo & Momo scene near the end was inspired by one of the many lessons life taught me.

I hope you're all having a wonderful day.

Chapter 31: ...I'll wrap my arms around you now

Summary:

Crash - You Me at Six

Even if it all comes crashing down, two melting, loving souls reconnect -

Sometimes, we just a little love to keep going in this storm of a world.

We can stand up and fight, and we can win.

Notes:

Welcome to Crash (I'll Be Here)

It's time to actually get to the recovery part, isn't it?

Because we all carry scars, some faded better, some worse, but all of them carry their own stories.

We just need someone to tell them to.

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The only thing Shouto felt was warmth at his right hand, then soothing circles on the back of it, the motion strangely reminding him of the way his mother'd always tried to soothe him.

He tried to open his eyes, yet his eyelids were still heavy as he blinked into the dim lighting of the…hospital room?

So he was alive.

Letting go of a long breath, he realized how uncomfortable the motion seemed, a weird sense of pain spreading through his back and chest.

Trying to orientate himself, he looked at the person holding his hand, and as he saw his mother's smile, he slowly seemed to understand what'd happened.

"Shouto," she whispered, taking her second hand that wasn't caressing his to gently put a few stray strands of hair out of his face and take the oxygen mask off, "You're awake. I was so worried."

"Mom?" he quickly learned that talking was still a hazzle and the words only came out slurred, "What…happened? Where's…?"

He wouldn't be surprised if Momo wouldn't want to see him. He furrowed his brows as he realized he'd been lying to himself once again.

She'd held him close and talked to him, yet…he couldn't remember what she'd said.

"Touya was arrested," his mother started, Shouto's eyes slowly widening as his mind took a while to understand her words, "No civilians were harmed with more than a few scratches. But you…The metal shred…" she took a deep breath, seemingly calming herself down, "…broke through your rips and ruptured your liver, and…they said it was…they said it was very close, yet you did it. You're here with us and they said the liver will grow back," her hand cupped his cheek, "You'll be okay, with time."

He did not agree with that. He…wasn't okay, and it didn't feel like he ever would be.

But…he was alive, and he guessed that was all that mattered after that terrible situation he'd gotten himself into.

"Where's…Where's Momo?" he tried again.

"Don't worry," his mother gently stroked over his cheek, "Momo's with your teacher at the moment. She'll be thrilled to hear you're finally awake."

"So…she doesn't…?"

"No, she's not mad at you," the white haired woman ensured, "She's hurt, yes, but she loves you all the same. She died a thousand deaths yesterday, and I'll have to hold her back before she crushes you. I know I haven't done a lot right as your mother, yet…Would it be too much of me to ask that you'll never do something like this again?"

He saw the tears escaping his mother's eyes, and yet he couldn't do anything as lifting his arms sent a pain through his body that would never compare to anything he'd caused the people he loved with his reckless and idiotic actions-

He'd wanted to run off. Instead he'd run into Dabi.

And then almost died.

He'd broken all his promises because of something that Momo'd always told him wouldn't matter.

Yep, he was just an idiot.

Maybe it was time for new promises.

"I promise I won't run away again," he hoped his voice was more than that quiet whisper he thought it was, "I did something stupid, mom, and I think I broke her heart."

The white haired nodded, "You did. And you'll have to talk to her about it."

"I'm so sorry," his voice broke as he averted his gaze.

"You don't have to apologize to me for that," she smiled. He looked at her again, seeing how she let go of his face to point towards the door.

He wanted to sit up, yet he forgot about that again as he felt like he'd rip apart with even a millimeter of movement more.

"Momo," he said instead, his voice still breaking in every syllable.

She was wearing a dark blue sweater, of which he knew it was one of his, as her lips pulled into a tight line.

They just stared, for a moment, and he couldn't do anything as his mother let go of him and stood up, smiling at them before she left, "I'll… search for a nurse," she said before closing the door behind her.

Letting go of a shaky breath, the raven haired girl ran over to him, using her knee as leverage on the mattress as she hid her face in the crook of his neck, breathing in deeply while she made sure she didn't touch him anywhere it'd cause him pain. Tangling her fingers in his hair, she pulled away slightly, pressing her lips to his cheek. "I love you so much," she whispered, hiding her face once again, and he couldn't help the tears that were slowly finding their way out the corners of his eyes as his sight turned blurry.

"I'm so sorry," was everything he could say, and even though every voice inside his head told him he wasn't worthy of that love, he knew he loved her.

"There's…a lot we need to talk about, a lot we need to settle, and there's only one thing on my mind that I just…that I just have to say right now," she pulled away, cupping his cheeks as she smiled at him, "It's my decision to love you. And I made that so long ago I can't even point out when it could've been. Of course this…this crazy twist of fate didn't make this easy for us, your life wasn't easy, the pain you suffer is so much more than I could possibly grasp, and I realize that now once again, yet…" she bit on her lip for a second, "I want to love you, and I'd never let you be my downfall. The only thing that could possibly bring me down is…losing you."

And he'd caused exactly that.

"I'm so-"

"Please don't apologize for this, Shouto. Please don't. I know it's not easy, not easy at all, and my love for you won't get rid of the demons inside your head, but I…I'll be with you through it all. I promised you that the day we were introduced to each other. And Yaoyorozus always keep their promises. Don't apologize for breaking those you can't keep because the fact that you tried is everything that matters to me," he nodded slightly, realizing how her eyes turned slightly glassy as well, "Do you still love me?"

"Of course," his voice broke once again, "But I don't…deserve any of that."

"And that's where you're wrong," she pecked his cheek once again, "You deserve more than just the world, so thinking about it being just me? You deserve love."

"Just…you?" he brought out, wanting to take a deep breath, yet he knew he only grimaced at the pain, "You're perfect. And I'm a mess."

She shook her head, gently caressing the sides of his face, "I'm not perfect. Aren't we all just made of glass, shattered and loosely held together by a thread?" Taking a deep breath, she let go of him, sitting back on her leg at the side of the bed, "Even if we put ourselves together again and again, we're still fragile, aren't we?"

Reaching for his hand, she interlaced her fingers with his and pressed a soft peck on the back of it.

"I…I can't save you, not alone. There's…so much more than a few tiny scratches in your heart, and I can't mend them together with my love alone," she whispered.

He knew it was true, yet he couldn't fully understand what she wanted to tell him with that.

"You asked me to get help," she bit on her lip and he nodded. Would she…Did she understand what he meant? "I…I wanted to wait until you woke up, just to make sure. Do you…" she took a deep breath, drawing soothing circles on the back of his hand, "Do you want therapy? Not just…one little talk?" she quickly added, "I'll support you through whatever you decide, and I'll be by your side, and I'll love you and do all I can to mend you back together. It doesn't work…just us two against the world. We tried, and we succeeded with the tip of the iceberg, yet…the pain is so much deeper in your heart, isn't it? I'm not…I'm not a professional, so…"

She looked away, then, exhaling a long breath, "I'm sorry, I don't mean that you're too much for me or anything, it's just…"

"I know," he nodded, "I understand. You can't…You can't fix me, and I never wanted to burden you with my weird brain, so…I ran away, and I…" taking a deep breath, he hissed through his teeth at the pain, "The more I want to protect you, the more I hurt you. You don't…You don't have to stay. I only make you cry, no matter what I try. Maybe that's the curse of this damn family."

He left out that he had no idea what he was supposed to do without her.

Funny, that he'd completely ignored that when he'd run away.

He was such an idiot.

"No!" she shook her head, "You…You don't…" she exhaled a long breath, "Yes, you made me cry, and I know you will many more times, but I would never," she accentuated it again, "never let you bring me down. You're not like your father, and you have to learn that. You're caring and gentle in the way you love me and you'd rather leave than seeing how I get hurt by your hands. You're sweet, you're absolutely adorable and I-" a sob interrupted her as she quickly held a hand in front of her mouth, taking a second before taking it away once again, "I love you most when you're yourself, without trying so desperately to prevent becoming someone else. Because exactly that…that makes you the man you want to be least."

Shouto wondered how she always had the right words to say.

"You're right. I…I tried so hard," he exhaled another shaky breath, knowing that he was on the verge of crying once again, "I tried so hard not to be like my father that it's exactly what I came to be."

She shook her head, smiling at him, "You're not your father, and you'll never be. Will you believe me when I say that I just know you'll be a great man?" he bit on his lips, averting his gaze.

How was she supposed to know that?

His mother hadn't known it from the start, either.

"I'm strong, Shouto. It took me a long, long time to understand it, but I know I'm not weak. I can't be weak as long as you're with me, because you give me strength even when you think you're pulling all hope from me. There's only one thing I fear."

She…wasn't weak. He knew that. But that the one to give her strength was…him? He…He'd never thought about it this way.

"What…is your fear?" he whispered even though he already knew the answer.

He'd always known, somehow. Even though he'd done exactly that, even though that's the one thing he couldn't promise her as he struggled keeping himself upright in that storm in his head that'd only started anew the moment his brother'd called him-

Yeah. He'd always known. Because it was the one thing that kept him awake at night, no matter how selfish it seemed-

"I'm scared of losing you," she smiled and he felt the rivers flowing down his cheeks once again, "I'm scared that I won't be enough to save you from yourself. Do you…" she blinked quickly, obviously trying to keep in her tears as well, "Do you know how much my heart broke when you didn't say no to that one question?"

She didn't have to speak it out for him to know.

"Even though it might not have been your intention when you ran away…For that one moment, you wanted Dabi to end it all, didn't you?" her hands shook around his, and he couldn't blame her as he nodded, his lips pressed together tightly as he didn't want to sob.

Sucking in a deep breath, Momo nodded as well. Even though his sight was blurry, he knew that she was crying once again.

"Can I…" she asked, her voice breaking as a hiccup interrupted her, "Can I hug you?"

He didn't care about the eventual pain as he nodded vigorously, because it was the one thing he craved so much his heart took a leap as she said it. The next moment, her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, supporting it as she buried her face at his shoulder, still trying to keep as much distance between them as possible as he knew she was worried about hurting him-

He just didn't care when he lifted his arms, the pain in his ribs letting him go dizzy as he wrapped them around her back, pulling her to him tightly as he sobbed. Of course it hurt, and yet he knew it was nothing against the pain she'd felt when she didn't know he'd live-

Because it would be the same for him.

"I…" he took a deep breath, trying to breathe around the hiccups, "I love you, Momo."

She nodded into his shoulder and he could hear her sobs as well, how she sniffed and her breath hitched and he couldn't even want her to stop crying as he had no idea how she could when he was suffering just as much.

"Love-" a hiccup interrupted her as her voice was muffled by his shoulder, "Love you too."

It was only after a long, long time that she slowly pulled back from him, wiping her tears away before doing the same for him.

"May I…" a soft pink hue spread on her cheeks as he smiled at her, timidly, as he knew that they'd only solved one thing in this storm of a world.

They loved each other, and no matter how much dumb shit he'd done, she'd never leave his side.

"May I kiss you?" she ended her question, and he cleared his voice, realizing that it was still not really there as he spoke.

"You don't have to ask," he smirked, and he was tired, so tired that he struggled to keep his eyes open, yet he moved his hand on her back and set it down in her neck, still grimacing at the pain his muscles caused him when he tried to be smooth for once.

She huffed, a quiet chuckle that he completely understood before she crossed the distance between them, claiming his lips while he closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of her.

He'd messed up.

He'd messed up so much, and he'd hurt her so many times, made her cry so often –

Yet she stayed with him.

Once she'd let go, she took place next to him, balancing on the edge of the bed as she used her arm as leverage while she looked at him, taking her second hand to draw soft circles on his chest and he couldn't help but notice that it didn't hurt.

Slowly, he drifted to sleep, knowing that she'd be right by his side when he woke up.

"Let's…" she whispered, "Let's just love, okay?"

He smiled, then, nodding at her.

Love was a word he'd taken so long to understand, and even longer to feel himself and he didn't even want to think about how long it'd taken for him to accept hers.

He was a fool in love, but he guessed that was alright.

Even if they were both fools, hurting again and again, reopening their scars and laying open their troubles for the other to see, it was more than enough.

Love might not heal what this world had done to them…

But it made it bearable, somehow.

She was right. They were all just made of glass, fragile and cracked at the edges –

And he just now understood that it was her that was picking up the pieces of him, keeping him together with their love. Yet, every time a piece of him wanted to fall, he tried to protect her from being cut, pushing her away so she couldn't get hurt.

He might've forgotten that it was exactly that, the fact that she couldn't help him, that let her slowly fall apart as well.

It might've taken a lot for him to grasp that, yet…he was now done pushing her away.

He trusted her, and it was wrong for them to think their love could heal all those years of pain and suffering which had broken him in so many ways he knew she'd never be able to grasp.

He'd get therapy, and he'd be okay, one day.

"Are we…" he whispered, "Are we…okay?"

"What do you mean?" she replied quietly, halting in her rhythmic movements.

"I…I messed up big time. And you…you say you love me still…but will this…will this change what we have?" he didn't dare open his eyes, afraid of what he was going to find.

"No," she whispered, "This won't change what we have. It'll only give us the strength to make it more beautiful, more stable than it was before."

He nodded, another question flooding his mind that he was way too scared to ask, yet…

"Do you regret…sleeping with me? After…this whole mess?"

When she didn't answer, he opened his eyes, looking at beautiful onyx as she smiled at him, her eyes crinkling a little as she blushed.

"No," her voice was just a tiny breath of air, "I never would. This…This love is real, and the night we shared together only showed us that, didn't it? It's so real that we suffer together, that we cry together and that even after it all went wrong, we're still willing to build up our tiny and fragile house of cards," she cupped his cheek before pressing a soft kiss to his nose, "And of course," she averted her gaze, her lips pressed together in a thin line, "I want to try more things, with you, together."

"I don't mind…trying things," he replied, averting his gaze as well as he stared at the ceiling, "We should…maybe, talk to my therapist together."

"Are you okay with me hearing about… all of that stuff?" she looked a little panicked when he caught her eyes, "And- you… you mean, telling someone about what we… do?"

"She'll be thrilled to hear the fear hierarchy worked," he smirked, "The rest… not so much."

"Fear…hierarchy? Like… from okay to worst fear?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowed as he nodded, "So…having…sex," she whispered the word, "Was at the top?"

"Yeah," he blinked.

"We did it," she grinned, "The fear of intimacy…we did it. Let's not think about the rest for now, let's only concentrate on that little success, okay?"

"Okay," he huffed, grimacing at the pain once again, yet he couldn't help but feel happy at that.

"Do you… want to do a full evaluation? So we can… get you better, really, this time?"

He nodded, letting go of a long breath, "I think that's for the best."

"I…I think so too," she pecked his cheek, "If she… If she told you to talk to your father…"

"I guess I'll have to," he looked at the ceiling, "He… caused a lot of this misery, in a way. Do you hate him?"

"Shouto," she started, "I don't think I can hate him, because no matter what terrible, horrific things he did to you, things you never said out loud, which… you might need to tell, after all, he's still the reason you exist in this world and I don't know if I would've gotten the chance to love you without our parents'…dumb contract."

"Yeah," he nodded slowly, "I guess…you're not wrong. I…" swallowing, he looked at the raven haired girl in front of him who picked up her rhythmic movements on his chest, "I only hate myself for the pain I cause everyone around me."

She let go of a long breath, "So that's how it is."

"How what is?" he replied quietly, searching for the answer in her eyes.

"You never hated your father. You hated… yourself, for all of the things that weren't in your power to decide."

"Well-" he interrupted himself as he realized how right she was.

He didn't have the power to change anything that had happened in his childhood.

And he'd hated himself nonetheless.

"It was not your fault, nothing that happened back then could've been your fault. You were only a child," she whispered.

"Maybe…" he sighed, "Maybe you're right."

She hummed approvingly, laying her hand down flat on his chest, right above the place his heart was protected beneath.

"Shouto?" she whispered, "Can I… ask you something?"

"Of course," his voice was hoarse as he heard his heartrate speed up a little. He…wasn't sure why he was suddenly so afraid of what she could ask. There… were no secrets he kept from her, and he would never lie to her. Not if he knew the truth.

"Has…your father… ever… you know, touched you?" her voice was very quiet as she caught his gaze, "I… I read that fear of intimacy is often a result of…" she balled her hand on his heart into a fist, "…sexual abuse."

He put his hand on hers, squeezing it with the rest of his power as he shook his head.

"No, he didn't. He hit me, yes. He burned me, he broke me and the only touch I knew was connected to pain," he smiled slightly, "But there's nothing like that, and I promise I'm not hiding anything."

She nodded at him slightly, letting go of a sigh of relief, leaning forward until she could kiss him again, "I regret not having asked that sooner."

"I…would've told you, don't worry about it," he crossed the distance between them, kissing her softly even though it hurt in his back.

Once he laid back down, she put a few stray strands of hair out of his face.

"I love you, Todoroki Shouto," she whispered, the warmth in her gaze taking him apart but mending him together at the same time.

"I love you too, Yaoyorozu Momo," he replied, letting his hand fall back to his side, the relief at the lack of pain instantly letting him sigh.

"Todoroki Momo, doesn't that sound good?" she chuckled, pressing her lips to his cheek.

He stared at her, wide eyed as he…he hadn't even thought about that ever since she'd mentioned it to their teacher.

"Yes, we're still engaged, in case you forgot," her smile could definitely save the world.

At least it saved his again and again.

"Your dad will kill me for hurting you once again," he whispered, staring at the ceiling, "Even more so if he finds out we actually spent the night together."

"I'd never let him," she blushed, trying to wipe the grin off her face, "Yet we surely deserve some…scolding, we're not even married."

"Did you ever want to wait until marriage?" his eyebrows furrowed.

"I-…" she blinked quickly, "I never thought about it until I got to know you."

"Really?" he looked at her, realizing that she looked very red, trying to hide her face behind her hand, "Don't be embarrassed, we're engaged and have been in each other's pants already."

"Don't say it like this!" she whispered with furrowed brows, "And I really haven't. I've always wanted to be a hero so I never even considered dating until I…" she cleared her voice, "Well, started crushing on you."

He started chuckling, looking at the ceiling as he grimaced in pain once again, before he looked back at her, gesturing mildly to his hand. She seemed to understand as she took his warm hand, keeping it in hers as she looked at him, smiling timidly.

"So…" he cleared his voice when he realized how broken it sounded, "We're really okay?"

"We are, Shouto," she nodded and he lost himself in her beautiful eyes, "We're okay, and you'll be too."

"But are you?" he didn't dare look into her eyes, yet he forced himself to look back up.

"I'm worried, mostly. But I'll be fine with a little time. My hand is great, in case you didn't notice I'm not even wearing bandages anymore," she explained calmly, her voice as soothing as the sea as she sat up to show him her left hand that she'd been leaning on.

It was true, there wasn't even a single scratch left as he took her soft skin in his hands, caressing her hand as he felt the full weight of the mess he'd caused because of something that could be healed so easily.

"But…did me hurting you…do anything to you?" he finally dared to ask, concentrating on the way her soft skin curved around her knuckles.

"Mh," she looked to the ceiling for a moment before she concentrated on him fully, making sure he locked eyes with her before she continued, "The moment I felt the pain, there was only one thing in my mind. It wasn't 'ouch, he burned me' or 'he's a bad guy after all' and especially not 'oh, he's like his father'. It was neither of that. The only thing I thought was 'This little burn just broke his heart and I need to make sure he knows it's okay'."

"Really?" his voice broke.

"I'm fine, it's fine. You didn't hurt me because you wanted to actually hurt me. I know you well enough. You would never hurt me out of your own accord. I knew this hurt you way more than me before I even fully registered what'd happened. I'll say it once again, Shouto," she leaned forward, quickly pecking his nose before she sat up, "You're yourself and not like anyone else, my love."

"Say that again," he whispered, and he felt the stinging at his eyes once again, yet he blinked it away, knowing he really didn't want to cry now. Not again.

A little chuckle escaped her before she nodded.

"Shouto," she whispered, "My love."

He felt a shudder run down his spine as he closed his eyes.

"You like that, don't you?" she mocked, before her tone turned more serious, "You like hearing that you're loved," he nodded quietly, smiling at her as another wave of exhaustion came over him, "Then know that I'll be here to tell you that again and again."

"I'm happy you're here," his hoarse voice spoke on its own, "And I love you so much more than words could ever express."

"You don't need extravagant words for me to know," she set his hand down on the mattress, "Are you tired?"

He nodded, closing his eyes.

"I'll go look where your mother went, she wanted to get a nurse after all," she pecked his forehead, gently stroking over his cheek as she got up, "I'll be right back."

"I'll be here," he whispered, feeling himself drift away.

There was only the distant sound of Momo talking to someone, as he heard his mother's voice.

"Are you finished? Can I go get the nurse now? I sent her away three times already."

He huffed, groaning in pain afterwards as he couldn't stop the smirk on his lips.

He hadn't even asked his mother when she'd been released from the hospital.

But he guessed that was okay.

They had all time in the world after all.

And no matter how many times their house of cards fell apart…

He knew he wasn't alone, and there was a heart beating for him even when he couldn't hear it.

Yeah, he was an idiot and he'd forgotten about everything she'd taught him once again.

Still, he was willing to learn.

And then he whispered the only few words that he remembered he'd said so long ago, the hope lost so many times in the middle that he hadn't believed in them at all.

"I'll be okay."

"Your mom is going to come back in the morning," she whispered, "So you can get a good night of sleep. Aizawa is going to drive her home," looking at the ceiling, she added, "I'm glad I could convince him to stay the night here. It was good that Jirou took my bag with her, sitting around in my hero costume would've been super-" she interrupted herself, clearing her voice, "I'm sorry for rambling."

He hummed non-intelligently.

Resting his head on her shoulder, Shouto dozed off, the painkillers finally working after the doctor had assessed his condition.

You must've had an angel on your shoulder, the man had said.

Shouto knew it was absolutely accurate as Momo let her hand run through his hair, absentmindedly skipping through the pages of a magazine she'd gotten from one of the nurses in the waiting room.

It had been him that had asked if it would be okay for her to join him and the blush that'd dusted her cheeks was the most adorable thing he'd ever seen in his life.

They'd said yes, after all, giving him the instructions for the bed before helping him sit up a little more.

The angel at his shoulder chuckled quietly when she skipped to the next page, "Ashido would freak out if she saw this picture of Hawks."

"Mh," he huffed, closing his eyes while relishing in the soft show of affection at the back of his head, "She's a fan?"

"Who isn't?" Momo said incredulously, "He's the fastest hero known to us, and he's well known for his devotion to rescuing people."

"Better than getting them in danger, I guess," he replied sleepily, carefully lifting his hand with the IV hanging off it to rub his eyes.

"Well," she replied, smiling down at him without stopping her rhythmic motions through his hair, "We're all going to get in danger sooner or later," she pressed a quick peck to his forehead, "It's just important we won't give up on ourselves in the process."

"Do you really think so?" his voice was still breaking from time to time. Putting his hand down again, he let it rest on the comforter, right above her leg.

"Yes," she nodded, "As long as we fight, there's hope."

"And when all hope is lost?" he looked at the window next to them, the dim lighting in the room letting their reflection look back at them. He saw how she adjusted her back a little, turning towards him more before he looked up to meet her eyes.

"There's always hope," she put a strand of hair behind his ear so she could look at him properly, "As long as we live, there's hope."

He chuckled tiredly before he hid his face at her collarbone, the pullover obstructing skin on skin contact, yet he didn't care as he could feel her warmth anyway, "You always have the right words to say."

"I would be proud of that…" she put the magazine down, resting her second hand on the back of his neck as well, "…if a few words could mend your heart and dissolve all your pain."

"They do," he whispered, pulling away a little so he could speak better, "It's just the times without them, as well as the times I'm deaf to anything but the voice in my head that put me down again and again."

He looked up at her, feeling her put a few strands of hair behind his ear as she leaned closer to him, gently pressing her lips on his. She waited until he reciprocated the contact before she blew his mind, making it impossible for him to think about anything else but the feeling of her touching him as he slid his hands to her hips, settling down with rhythmic motions.

He'd hurt her so many times.

And still she was here.

She was careful, gentle, as she kissed him again and again, leaving no room for the demons in his head to speak up and ruin the moment as he couldn't concentrate on anything but her and how much he loved her.

Chills ran down his spine when she started playing with the hair in the back of his neck, closely followed by goosebumps forming on his arms.

She was still here.

And he knew she'd never leave him.

She wouldn't leave him in this storm of a world and he was a moron for thinking it was a good idea to run away. This girl- No, this woman, was everything he wanted and everything he needed. She was his rise, she was his downfall, and he guessed that was okay if it allowed him moments like this, in which he gave up all control to enable her to love him.

She sighed quietly when she let go of his lips, pushing a few strands of hair behind his ear as she smiled at him, wide and warm and with so much adoration her eyes started to shine.

"I'm happy you're here, Shouto," she whispered, blinking a few times to get rid of the shine in her onyx orbs, "And I hope you'll be too, one day."

"I am," his hoarse voice answered her as he held onto her arm, interlacing his fingers with hers, "I'm happy I'm alive."

"I'm glad," she nodded, her eyes closing with the brightness of her smile, "I love you, Todoroki Shouto. I don't… I don't want to exist in a world without you."

He took his second hand to trace soothing circles on the back of the one he was holding, "I just don't want to hurt you, Momo," he smiled halfheartedly, only pulling up the corner of his mouth, "I guess I had to mess it all up before understanding that pushing you away is going to hurt you even more than being with me ever could," he swallowed audibly, "I guess I had to lose you to know how much I need you."

"We need each other," she concluded, "That's what broke us apart, wasn't it?"

He exhaled a long breath as he understood.

"I fear it is," he nodded quickly, averting his gaze as he stopped with the rhythmic motions on the back of her hand.

"Things are bound to go wrong on the first try," she leaned forward, softly pressing her forehead against his to look into his eyes, "I think we're the perfect example for that, aren't we?"

Inhaling a shaky breath of air, Shouto nodded, analyzing every speck of obsidian he found in the onyx eyes that'd always captured him and never let him go.

"How did you say?" he breathed, "We just need to rebuild our house of cards."

She nodded, taking her hand out of his to cup his cheek before pressing a soft kiss on his lips.

Her smile was contagious as she pulled away, gently caressing his cheek with her thumb before their foreheads touched again.

Her soft voice was nothing more than a whisper, a tiny breath of air as she whispered the one thing that'd keep them going, the thing that'd keep them together even when this world was falling apart.

Even when they fell apart, there was this little thread of hope in this crazy ocean of fate.

"Let's rebuild it," her smile turned even brighter, "For it shall be the most beautiful of them all."

He nodded, moving up to press a quick peck to her nose.

"Promise?" his voice broke.

"Promise," she put another strand of hair behind his ear.

Here they were, in the dark of the night, in his hospital room after everything had gone wrong, loving when this crazy fate of theirs ripped them apart and beat them to the ground.

There was something he had to say. Something he really had to speak out loud for he feared that she didn't know.

"Even if it all comes crashing down, I'll be happy to say that the one by my side was you," he whispered.

"I know," she whispered, "and it's the same for me," chuckling, she sat up and took both of his hands in hers, "Even if we mess it all up, I know we'll make it alright. We can't be wrong together."

"Why?" he tilted his head.

"Because, Shouto," she leaned forward until their noses were almost touching, "This is love."

He knew it was the truth.

Notes:

So many parallels, so many reaccurances, and I really hope you like what I did with the immediate aftermath...

There's still a lot to come, but I thought this chapter is good how it is, and there's enough pain and love in here on itself.

We're now entering the last "ark" of the story. The time after the crash, where they slowly get to build up their fragile little house of cards.

On another note: In the next chapters, there's going to be many... very difficult scenes in sense of therapy and talks that are so freaking necessary to be held I can't even express it properly, and I might need a little longer to write those than usual, that's all I wanted to say!

Thank you for reading all the way here through this torturous rollercoaster of a story... have a fantastic week! You're all amazing, don't forget about that!

Chapter 32: Just crash, it's our time now...

Summary:

Crash - You Me at Six

A fiery soul extenguished by the past, two loving souls set on a trial in a snowfield.

Our scars are signs of the battles we fought to survive until today.

And they only make us stronger.

Notes:

Heyoo! :D

Here I am again with a new chapter!

The past can't be denied, and even if they're fine, there's scars that'll never fully disappear.

I hope you'll enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Enji knew something was wrong from the moment his flaming beard turned off. He'd always had the possibility to do so, yet… his subconscious must've noticed that strange change of atmosphere.

Blinking, he looked at his phone, taking in that he'd already be able to leave from his shift if he wanted, yet there was a villain standing in front of him.

It was just a petty thief, already handcuffed and sitting on the floor next to him.

Something must've been wrong from the start, something must've been wrong from the second he'd heard of another villain's activity.

Of course he'd been concentrated on something else, at that time.

A petty irony, if he looked at this situation in retrospect.

He'd messed up in a many ways he didn't even know where to start.

His oldest son was a villain, his youngest resented him, and the ones in between he didn't even know.

And even though he slowly started to grasp the consequences of his actions, he had had no idea just how bad it really was.

The second he put the phone back in his pocket, the vibration along with the ringtone startled him as he furrowed his eyebrows once again.

Eraserhead? Why?

Exhaling a shaky breath, he knew the answer to this question, even though it was unconscious.

"Yeah?" he said sternly, staring at his reflection in the window in front of him, realizing he hadn't turned his flames back on. Why…?

"Endeavor, I'm only calling you because I have to," the erasure hero said cynically, actually sending chills down the number one hero's spine even though he didn't understand how that was possible.

He must've known, somehow.

"Todoroki Shouto is in the hospital, don't visit until we've cleared the situation up," the younger one replied and the words got stuck in Enji's throat.

It took him a moment of awkward silence on the line before he swallowed, clearing his throat afterwards.

"Hospital?" he asked, "What… happened?"

There was rustling on the line and he swore he'd heard his wife's voice, yet she didn't speak to him.

Eraserhead chuckled dryly.

"Dabi, or Touya, I was told, made his move," the man explained, "We arrested him and Shouto… barely made it."

Swallowing once again, Enji couldn't shake the feeling that all of this was his own fault.

"But why… why should I not visit my hurt son?"

Because he hates you, his mind supplied.

It was so much worse.

So, so much worse than he could've ever expected.

"We'll do a full physical and psychological evaluation first," the erasure hero explained tiredly.

"A… psychological evaluation?"

Enji knew about the fear of intimacy, but what… else was there that he couldn't grasp?

"We have reason to believe he's suffering from posttraumatic stress," the erasure hero said matter-of-factly.

He didn't need to ask to know.

Because it had been his fault alone.

"What… happened? What should I do?" the fire hero looked at the villain sitting in front of him as his eyebrows were still furrowed.

He couldn't just… stay away, could he?

But he was pretty sure his son didn't want to see him.

Sighing, he made a decision.

"I'll take care of Touya," the lost and long dead child, "Could you… look after Shouto," the slowly dying child, "Please?"

A beat of silence passed before he heard a long sigh.

"Of course, because these children matter to me," the teacher replied carefully, slowly pronouncing each word.

They matter to me as well, Enji thought.

But he had no right to say these words out loud.

Because he was the one that'd caused this mess in the first place.

He didn't deserve to call himself a father.

So… how was he even supposed to call himself a hero?

Taking a deep breath, Momo inhaled the faint smell of ashes as she buried her face in the blanket in front of her.

She relished of this feeling of peace, this feeling of relief as she recognized this familiar scent as her fiancée's.

"I guess I'm just a trophy father's trophy son."

Blood.

Way too much blood.

"He'll be okay."

Jolting up from where she'd fallen asleep in the armchair, his hand firmly held in hers, she let go of a long sigh.

The regular beeping of the machines told her everything was fine, yet she held his hand a little tighter as she looked at his sleeping form. That's the only thing that mattered – the slow and peaceful way his chest lifted as he took breath after breath.

He'd stopped breathing in her arms.

Letting go of another deep breath, she looked up to his face, rubbing her eyes before she got up to gently kneel on the bed next to him as she moved a few stray strands of hair out of his face.

He looked so content, even though there was no smile on his resting face.

She felt his hand around hers tighten as he furrowed his eyebrows at the touch near his forehead.

"I'll protect you, Shouto," she whispered, pressing a soft and gentle kiss to his cheek before cupping it in her slightly shaking hand, "I won't let anyone hurt you again. Especially not your own mind."

She chuckled quietly, "Right, okay, I can't exactly protect you from that…" she bit her lower lip, "… but I'll try nonetheless."

"At this one moment, you just wanted him to end it all, didn't you?"

Huffing, she wiped her face, not seeing reason in her motion, yet she had to do something.

Because he'd wanted to die. The boy she loved wanted to die.

He'd shown her what it felt like to be loved. Truly loved, not by her parents or family or friends, but real love and heartache and everything that she knew was part of it.

He was her first love, and she was sure she'd never adore anyone the same way ever again.

Her life had been dark, her life had been dull as she'd pulled herself under in self-deprecating thoughts while her lack of self-esteem took her apart. He'd brought light in her life, he'd made sure she knew that even the strongest and most confident people could be weak from time to time and he'd told her he admired her and that was all it'd taken for her to snap out of it-

She wouldn't even be on the way to become a hero if it wasn't for him. That's the only thing she was sure of.

She was going to be a hero, yet she couldn't save the one person she just had to save for herself to be happy.

Yes, she realized, maybe she was selfish. Wanting to save him for her own need, wanting to save him so she could be happy-

But maybe it was okay to be selfish this once.

Because she didn't know how to go on in a world without him.

They'd been engaged ever since they were five years old, they fell in love before anyone even told them who the other was and they… they loved even though this world tried its best to rip them apart again and again.

Oh, she was fully aware that she loved this boy way too much for it to be healthy, yet she didn't, couldn't, bring herself to keep even a quarter of her heart to herself.

She'd given him all of her, she'd shown him that she was his and his alone and they'd made love in the dark of the night as they'd tricked his fear of intimacy.

He loved her as well, and he loved her so much his heart had broken the second he'd hurt her.

And he'd run away to save her, run away to save himself from confronting his own twisted thoughts and feelings and she just knew how much it must've ripped him apart, leading him to such selfish actions once again-

"This is love."

Yeah, it was. It would always be.

They were two selfish idiots in love.

Huffing, she leaned her forehead against his, feeling the soft warmth radiating from him.

Yes, he was warm. Trying to hide beneath an icy exterior… there was this beautiful little flame trying to melt the protecting layer around his heart.

She'd fanned the flames.

She'd melted this protecting layer and thought that her love would be enough to heal him when he had no way of dealing with his feelings anymore. Maybe she'd made it possible for him to love her… yet she'd also made it possible for all those little things, all those little misunderstandings to hit him so hard he broke down as he just couldn't know how to deal with these things he'd repressed so many years.

There's never an easy way to heal so many years of wrongdoings, and she'd been a moron to think she could be the one to save him when the only one who could was himself.

Momo was supposed to be the person giving him the support to heal himself. She wasn't a psychiatrist, she didn't have a healing quirk… and even if there were many good days, it didn't mean that the bad ones couldn't just hit them like a truck with the simplest of events.

He was her first love, and she'd messed up everything trying to fix what wasn't in her hands to begin with.

"I swear by my name," her voice was nothing more but a breath of air as her words got stuck in her throat, "I swear by my blood," she pulled away, gently caressing his cheek, "I will never stop rebuilding this fragile little house of cards of ours."

"Momo?" he whispered, voice hoarse as he'd just woken up, startling her slightly, "W-What?"

"Nothing," she shook her head, smiling at him while she knew her eyes were glassy once again, "I love you, sleepyhead."

Blinking a few times against the light, he looked at her, biting his lips before he smirked at her tiredly.

"I love you too, Momo," he whispered, trying to sit up a little, yet he grimaced before he leaned back into the pillows, "Did you sleep in the chair?"

"Yes," she admitted bashfully, "I… I didn't want to hurt you after you fell asleep on my shoulder. The nurses weren't too happy about that."

"I'm so sorry," he stared at the ceiling, trying to get himself into a comfortable position before he turned his head towards her again, "Does your back hurt?"

"It's nothing," she shook her head, "Don't apologize. I just wanted to be there when you woke up."

"You're the best," he smirked, "A true hero."

"E-Eh-" the warmth that found its way to her face must've been obvious as he chuckled, grimacing once again.

"Found your weakness," he nodded, smirking slightly as he looked to the side thoughtfully, "You love it when you're called a hero, don't you?"

She wanted to say something to contradict his statement, yet her brain didn't seem to work as she couldn't come up with anything to reply, leaving her to pout at him while squinting her eyes.

"My hero, Creati," he breathed playfully, "Yaoyorozu Momo, my fiancée and savior."

She knew it was supposed to be a joke, somehow, yet… there was so much more hidden beneath his carefree tone that told her he meant everything he said.

Taking a deep breath, she leaned down to him, claiming his lips with hers as he huffed quietly, letting his hand that wasn't attached to the IV wander until it sat at the back of her neck, playing with her messy, uncombed hair.

A knock on the door pulled them out of it as the brown haired nurse entered the hospital room, blinking at them as she took in the situation in front of her.

Momo pulled away quickly, hiding her face in her hands as Shouto huffed at being interrupted, groaning in pain afterwards.

"I know we said you'd be fine with rest after doctor Kiruma healed the worst of your wounds in the evening, yet I can't approve of too much physical intimacy before he can walk on his own," she explained calmly, taking another few steps forward to take a look at his vitals, "Teenagers," she then added mockingly.

She looked at her fiancée from in-between her fingers, seeing how he awkwardly stared at the ceiling.

"Mh," the nurse furrowed her eyebrows, "Your temperature is a little… Are you in pain?" she then added when she saw how he grimaced once again.

"No, I'm fine," he answered, shaking his head. Momo furrowed her eyebrows, looking at the nurse directly who caught her gaze.

"He's breathing a little heavy and he hurts at laughter and abrupt movement," the black haired girl explained, "Is that normal?"

"Hm," the nurse looked at the chart again, "I'll have the doctor take another look. We sadly don't have the resources to heal you completely…" she looked thoughtful as she looked up at them again, her green gaze switching back and forth between them, "… does your back hurt?"

"It doesn't," he locked gaze with Momo who still had her eyebrows furrowed, "It really doesn't, I promise."

"That's…" the nurse tilted her head before shaking it, "…unusual. I'll be right back."

Momo nodded, taking her fiancée's hand as she felt the fear flow through her veins once again.

She looked at the dual haired boy, squeezing his hand tightly before pressing a peck to the back of it. "I love you," she repeated.

The memory of the feeling as he stopped breathing in her arms filling her veins as she felt her hands starting to shake once again.

No, it was fine. It was fine. This was nothing. He wouldn't- He wouldn't-

In her mind, he was dying once again.

"Momo, I'm here," he interrupted her train of thought, "It's okay."

Letting go of a long, shaky breath, Momo nodded.

Yesterday was over.

They were here.

This would be okay. This was only a small little difficulty. He'd be fine.

He'd. Be. Fine.

The door opened once again, pulling her out of her thoughts as the doctor she remembered from last evening entered, hastily walking over, the nurse right behind him as they walked up to them.

"Good morning," the red haired doctor started, getting right to the point, "You feel pain but not in the affected area?"

Shouto nodded quietly, squeezing Momo's hand as she witnessed his facial expression turning… numb.

"We'll move you into a sitting position, is that alright?" the doctor's eyebrows furrowed as they moved to his sides, the nurse smiling at the black haired girl reassuringly as she maneuvered around her.

"Can I hold his hand?" was the only thing Momo could say as she could feel the tears build up in her eyes.

"You're his wife, aren't you?" he asked, making eye contact with the raven haired girl.

W-Wife?

Was that… why they allowed her in here?

Because Rei had registered her as his…wife?

"Yes," the lie left her lips without hesitation, "I'm Todoroki Momo."

If that's what'd allow her to stay.

"It's bad enough teenagers are being forced to marry," doctor Kiruma replied absentmindedly, looking at the nurse in front of him, nodding at her before looking at the dual haired boy in the hospital bed, "You may."

Taking his second hand as well, she held onto him, trying to calm her breathing as the fear flowed through her veins.

Shouto looked at her, took a deep breath before letting go of it and nodding quietly.

"One…two…" the nurse counted before they moved him into a sitting position as Momo's grip on his hand tightened even more as it seemed to freeze, "three."

He didn't scream, yet she saw the pain written all over his face as he clenched his teeth, breathing shallowly as he tried to keep his eyes open.

"Your quirk is ice, isn't it?" the nurse asked quickly as Momo watched the doctor move the hospital gown to the side.

"Ice and fire," Momo answered, knowing it'd hurt him way too much to speak in this situation. The dual haired nodded slightly, confirming her statement.

"I see," the doctor started, "You can't feel the wound because you froze the affected area. The only pain you feel is the frostbite."

"But shouldn't-" his hands be cold?

They were.

She was so used to it-

So used to him freezing himself-

That she hadn't noticed it'd happened once again?

Just because it wasn't during a panic attack this time?

"I should've known-" she interrupted herself when he locked eyes with her, shaking his head.

His gaze told her everything.

He hadn't known either, the surprise so obvious in his heterochromatic eyes.

"Can you unfreeze yourself?" the doctor asked, "We need to see how much tissue was affected to see if we'll need to do another surgery."

A-Another… surgery?

"I-" he stammered, and Momo could feel the hesitance in his voice.

He didn't… He didn't go back to not using his fire quirk, did he?

The black haired girl cupped his cheek to make him look at her even though he was in pain.

"You have to," she said, "You can't hurt me."

"Okay," he swallowed, letting go of another deep breath, "This will hurt, won't it?"

"Presumably, yes, we'll help you once we know the extend of the damage," the nurse nodded, a sorrowful expression on her face.

Shouto nodded.

"Momo, take a step back," he advised her, yet she shook her head and held onto his hand.

"You can't hurt me."

She'd never let go of this hand.

Sighing, he grimaced once again before he nodded, "I'm ready."

"Okay," the nurse held onto his right shoulder while the doctor was to his left, "One, two, three."

She'd never forget his screams as he unfroze the area he'd accidentally frozen to numb the pain.

And she held his hand all throughout, not even letting go for a second as she felt the tears streaming down her face, yet she didn't wipe them away, her second hand taking his as well as she made sure he only looked at her. Leaning her forehead against his, uncaring of the steam he was emitting, she only concentrated on the fact that he was breathing.

Heavily, shallowly, but he was breathing.

"I've got you," she whispered, "I won't let you go, I love you."

He huffed, hissing through his teeth before he closed his eyes.

"Tissue damage," seemingly unaffected, the doctor looked at the situation Momo couldn't see.

Her mind blanked, everything turning fuzzy and blurry and the world seemed to move in slow motion as she just breathed.

Was this her… breaking down, after all?

Again?

She looked up, concentrated on the eyes in front of her that she'd fallen in love with so many times as he tried to keep them open unsuccessfully.

It didn't make sense, not at all and there were hands on her, pulling her away and she couldn't even fight the nurses trying to get her out of the room as aqua and stone eyes opened, the colors reverberating in her mind.

Then everything went blurry.

She had no idea how much time had passed before she finally seemed to register what'd happened.

"Misses Todoroki?" the nurse from earlier whispered, kneeling in front of her as they'd sat her down on a chair somewhere she didn't recognize, "Are you with me?"

Momo nodded slowly, realizing the handkerchief that was held out to her.

She'd been crying once again?

"I'm… I'm…" she took a deep breath, yet her chest constricted before she could take in any oxygen, "What… How is he? Where is he?"

"There was slight… damage, where he'd frozen himself. We're lucky he was healed enough that none of his organs were damaged, but we… we had to take away the…" the brown haired tried to find a less painful word, "broken cells," the nurse paused, looking her over, "Since you're his wife, we need to ask your permission to transplant artificial tissue in the affected area."

"Artificial…?" she whispered, her voice getting stuck in her throat.

This lie-

She wasn't his wife.

She wasn't allowed to decide this.

How… How could she…

She couldn't decide this.

"I'm… I'm not-"

But his mother wasn't here. His siblings weren't-

We are too young for any of this, his words came to her mind once again.

Yes, they were way too young for this. They were just teenagers thrown into the roles of grown ups and she had no idea what to do with this responsibility-

"Momo?" she heard a familiar voice, snapping her head in the direction of a familiar white haired angel, "What happened?"

The nurse stepped aside before Momo jumped up, wrapping her arms around Rei in a near bone crushing hug before she heard Natsuo's and Fuyumi's voices as well.

"I-" a sob interrupted her, "He-"

"It's okay, Momo, it's okay," a pair of gentle, cold arms held her close as his mother started caressing the back of her head, talking to the nurse behind her, "Please, I'm Todoroki Shouto's mother, what happened?"

Momo only kept the faint smell of lavender in her mind as she blocked out all voices. The soft and gentle touch calmed her down, letting her rapid heartbeat slow as she finally started to breath normally again.

"Momo?" Fuyumi asked quietly, setting down a steady hand on her shoulder, letting her pull away reluctantly so she could look at her fiancée's sister, "The transplant is relatively safe and with the least amount of risks in this situation. Recovery Girl is going to join the surgery."

"You… You called Recovery Girl?" she stammered in reply, her eyes widening.

"We already did so in the evening, but he seemed stable so we told her to come today," Rei explained, pressing a light kiss on Momo's forehead and caressing her cheek causing Momo's chest to turn warm after all the cold she hadn't even noticed, "We called her just now. She's on the way here with Aizawa."

"O-Okay," Momo nodded, putting a hand on her heart as she sniffed, looking at the woman in front of her, taking in the soft, motherly smile Rei gifted her with.

She didn't know why, but she whispered the only things that came to her mind, "Thank you, I…I don't… They think I'm his wife-" she swallowed, "I… I was so scared-"

Rei gently pulled her to her shoulder, holding her tight as Fuyumi wrapped her arms around both of them.

Momo took deep breaths, one after another, to keep herself from crying once again.

How did she even have any tears left?

Burying her face in the cold but soft shoulder, she calmed down, letting go of one last breath of air before pulling away.

"It's going to be okay," Natsuo explained from his stand to their sides, having buried both of his hands in his pants' pockets while he looked at the ground to their feet, "I have yet to study the details of a skin transplant, but it's not that dangerous of a surgery. Try not to worry."

She swallowed, choosing to believe in him.

"I'm such a crybaby," she sniffed, chuckling nervously as she gently slapped her cheeks, trying to get herself together as her heartbeat finally slowed to a normal speed, her lungs relaxing.

"You're not a crybaby, little sis," the white haired man replied, shaking his hand with a soft smile on his face, "Even heroes need to cry sometimes."

Blinking, Momo stared at him.

This… was so right.

Even heroes… needed to cry sometimes.

Maybe it was okay to cry after all.

But…

"Little sis?" she asked perplexed, her smile disappearing as she felt confused, her mind not catching up to the logical implication he'd made.

"Little sis," he nodded, a bright grin on his face that didn't completely reach his eyes, "Almost sister-in-law, sister-in-law, sister, sis, and you're the younger one, so you're my little sis. I'm sure Fuyumi agrees," he added, pointing at his sister with his thumb who nodded at her, a slight smile gracing her lips as she finished cleaning her glasses.

Oh lord, the Todoroki's had incredibly beautiful eyes, she realized once again, remembering the specks of ocean and dust that'd followed her outside when they'd made her leave the room.

She might be an idiot for being excited at what her and Shouto's children were going to look like.

Especially when they were in a situation like this.

Maybe… Maybe she did still believe in a happy ending after all.

Once Fuyumi had put on her glasses again, Momo realized that she'd been staring into her gorgeous blue eyes for way too long, quickly gazing over to Natsuo to realize he had the same eyes.

They were beautiful.

Yet no one would ever be as unique as Shouto, colors split in half, red and white, grey and blue that'd claimed her heart by storm.

Even back then, after the Ennichi festival, it was the thing she was most fascinated by as she wanted to know every single detail that she slowly came to know now.

Oh, she remembered.

If his hands had different temperatures?

Yes, they did, and it was the most incredible thing she'd ever come to marvel at in the form of a human being. He was her little project, the notebook with the discoveries she'd made, the progress she'd documented hidden beneath-

Oh.

She took out her phone, realizing that it was at low battery, yet it was enough for her to type down the little memo she'd need once she was out of the hospital.

It was at the moment she nodded surely, having found new determination that she saw her reflection in one of the windows in the hallway.

She hadn't even brushed her teeth, yet.

"I'll be right back," she whispered, quickly turning around, yet she stumbled a little before she was caught by two stable arms, causing her to look up at stone grey eyes she'd never forget as they were engraved into her mind.

"Be careful," her future mother-in-law looked so worried, her eyes taking Momo apart for every sign of a mental wound that was surely obtained.

Sighing, Momo realized that this woman in front of her understood every single worry weighing her down without knowing what was going on inside her mind.

"Do you need to talk?" Rei asked, biting her lip as Momo looked up to her.

There was only one thing Momo craved, needed, in this world.

She wanted to love him. That was it. That was all she was asking for.

Was that so wrong?

It wasn't wrong. It was the rightest thing she'd ever come to know. This feeling of warmth, this feeling of love just couldn't be wrong.

And if it was, she'd rather be a criminal in a wrong world than a saint in a right one if it allowed her to love him.

"Why…" she choked on her words, trying to keep herself upright while she was clinging to the woman in front of her, "Why can't we just be happy for once?"

"Oh, Momo," Rei smiled at her, yet she could see how glassy the storm grey eyes were before the white haired shook her head, "There's many reasons this happened, I believe there are. I have to, because I couldn't… I couldn't live with knowing that all of this was my fault in the end."

Momo's eyes widened as she looked at his mother, witnessing her averting her gaze as her smile turned so pained the black haired felt the sting in her heart.

"I pray," Rei whispered, "I pray every day that he's going to get the chance to know love. I pray every day that he'll be able to let go of the way the past has broken him when he forgave me but never himself. He was a child, and he'd never done anything wrong, yet I broke his heart while pouring boiling water over his face and even though Enji hurt him, even though Enji broke his little heart so many times… Would it have been okay, if I'd gotten myself together? If I held him like I did before? If I had the opportunity to love him for all of the hate his father inflicted to him?" she huffed, quick and painful as the tears ran down her cheeks and Fuyumi exclaimed a quiet 'Mom."

Momo looked up, knowing her eyes were glassy once again, yet there was nothing she could do against this as she looked at Fuyumi, knowing from her silent sniffs and her hand wiping her face that his sister was crying as well.

She didn't even dare to look at Natsuo.

"She's not wrong, you know," Shouto's brother started, shaking his head as his voice broke, "We… I have a feeling we're all at fault here," huffing, he bit his lip and looked at his mother, "Maybe… Maybe all of this had to happen so we could realize our mistakes, yet at the same time fate'd be a cruel bastard for having a child go through all of this-" he shook his head once again, "All of us played our horrendous and idiotic parts in his life and-" he laughed, yet it was nothing more than a breath as he buried his face in his hands, "I never would've imagined my first patient to be my little brother-"

And then he fell to his knees, caught by Fuyumi who carefully held his shoulder, trying to be a steadying hand.

"I don't understand this," he gasped, "I don't understand why this is happening-…What am I even saying, of course I understand why this is happening but I can't accept that this child is dying because we," he looked at his sister, then to his mother who was quietly breathing, a soft, sad smile on her lips, "because we failed at being his family and that just because we were scared of one, single human."

He threw his head back, looking at the ceiling before he shook his head once again, taking Fuyumi's hand as he stayed on his knees, "If we say Endeavor's at fault, we're just as much because we were too freaking scared to do anything and of course we were children, but we grew up and we grew up to do what we were never able to do and the moment I felt his blood on my hands I knew becoming a doctor would never compensate for not taking action back then."

Looking at Momo, he let go of a long breath, "You're not the reason he's in pain, Yaoyorozu Momo."

Her heart seemed to stop for a moment as her eyes widened and she realized what he'd been saying-

How… did he know?

How did he know that that's… what her mind had been coming up with?

She'd melted his protective shell, letting all of the hurt crash in on him at once-

"We're all just cowards, unable to accept that the reason we're in this situation in the first place is that we've been allowing years and years of abuse to happen to a point we no longer recognized the child we once called brother. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if you got yourself together and protected him, mom. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I stayed home, no matter how much I resented this terrible man inside this house. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if Fuyumi wasn't so scared of everything all the time," he couldn't stop as she could feel, his eyes closed as he hit the floor with his fist, the sound pitiful and the punch without strength, "But it doesn't matter in the end, does it? We can't go back to change what we did. Neither that we didn't do anything."

Rei went to her knees, wrapping her arms around her white haired son, keeping him close as he buried his face in her shoulder.

Momo felt… strangely out of place as there wasn't she could say.

No.

She didn't know what to say.

She didn't blame them.

What would… blaming anyone change this mess?

"Does he…" Fuyumi breathed, quiet as her hands shook and Momo looked up to her, "Does he often… freeze himself?"

"Yes," Momo's eyes quelled with tears but she swore she wouldn't shed any, not again, "I… I didn't even realize he did so once again. He… He didn't realize it either, I think."

"It's too numb the pain," the white haired woman explained, wiping away her tears under her glasses, "I… I did that as well, when I was younger."

W-What?

His sister had been… freezing herself as well?

"Fuyumi…?" Momo's voice was stuck in her throat as there were no real words leaving her mouth.

"No matter if it's physical…or emotional pain…the ice won't let you feel anything," his sister explained, looking directly at Momo as her family was still broken on the floor, "And I… I stopped after I got the chance to meet mom again, but… I know what it's like… to feel like shattered glass, unable to make sense of the pieces on the ground."

"I think," Momo swallowed, trying to get her voice to work even though it was hoarse and quiet, "I think everyone knows that feeling. I'm… I'm proud of you for pulling through," she smiled at Fuyumi, yet she knew her smile wasn't reaching her eyes at all.

She let go of a long breath.

"Life is like a house of cards," she heard a familiar voice, quickly turning around to see a purple haired girl with a huge bag thrown around her shoulder, "We're all just building our own little houses, fragile and unstable," Momo could see the shine in Jirou's eyes and her heart broke when she understood that even her usually so strong best friend was on the verge of crying, "Every now and then it all crashes down…"

"… and we need to pick up the pieces to build it back up," Momo ended the sentence, letting the purple haired girl nod with a slight smile on her face.

"Yaomomo," she looked to the green haired hero-in-training next to her friend, blinking as she recognized Midoriya, "Do not worry for we're here."

A quiet chuckle left her as she couldn't do anything but smile at the silly words of her classmate.

And even though she knew her friend wasn't really the cuddly type, Jirou caught her in a bone crushing hug.

"We're not really allowed here, but Midoriya is one persistent friend," she whispered, chuckling nervously, trying to mask her fear, "I'm listening and supporting hero earphone jack, to your service."

Momo let go of a long breath she hadn't known she'd been holding when the purple haired held her this close, making her feel warm and appreciated and cared for and safe when her world seemed to be shattered beyond repair.

"Yaoyorozu," she heard another voice then, looking up at Recovery Girl and Aizawa that'd probably been here for the whole time as she'd failed to notice their presence, "I really need to hear the full story of how it came to this, but there's more pressing matters to attend to first."

The tiny old woman looked up at her sternly, yet Momo could feel the warmth she delivered with her gaze, "I'm ready for surgery, let's save a future hero."

"He already is," Momo smiled, and this time it felt real because even though Recovery Girl didn't promise her anything, she knew that leaving the fate of the boy she loved in her hands couldn't be a mistake either.

"I have a feeling I'll need to call Endeavor here eventually, don't I?" Aizawa grumbled as he looked at the family behind Momo after Rei'd helped her son back to his feet, "If that's okay with you. We can't… leave it like this."

Momo nodded quietly, "I'll… I'll call the therapist before that. I don't…" she sighed, "I can't help but feel that we're only ever making things worse."

The black haired man nodded, "I trust your judgment, Creati."

Blinking, Momo couldn't help but huff once again, apologizing quickly as she bowed deeply before her teachers.

"Stop that," Recovery Girl scolded, walking past her while shaking her head as a nurse came running towards them once again.

"Recovery Girl! You've got the perfect timing, the anesthetic is working without issues," the blonde nurse didn't seem to realize there were other people standing right there, "We don't expect complications as the quirk suppressants are working as well- Oh, please come with me, we need to hurry-"

Momo blinked, feeling her friend gently put a steadying hand on her shoulder as she looked to her right to look into familiar eyes.

She took a deep breath before letting go of it.

It was now time.

"You can do this," she whispered, knowing he wasn't able to hear her words, yet she couldn't change that she felt as if they'd reach him wherever he was, "You'll be okay, my love."

He was her first love.

And she was not going to lose him.

Notes:

... and there goes more angst, eeh, well *hides in a corner*

Endeavor realizes something is wrong, and just what could he be thinking about with his way of feeling undeserving of being a hero?

Shouto freezes himself, once again, to make sure we won't forget about the battles he's still fighting even though he's made up his mind.
It's not that easy, and it would've been wrong to let everything be absolutely fine now.

Momo's his inofficial, not very legal hospital wife, so... yay? xD Yet the incident didn't leave off without any dents in her either.

The todo fam is finally speaking out loud their bothers and fears, and Jirou comes back with the house of cards metaphor!

I really hope you enjoyed todays rollercoaster ride crash.

It's time to heal, now. Not just masking up the symptoms... but healing.

I hope you'll have a wonderful week, everyone!

Chapter 33: ...to make this work second time around

Summary:

Crash - You Me at Six

Two healing hearts.

Family never ends with blood, and friends can be the most wonderful beings in this cruel world.

Love is everything it needs to be, even if it could use a little push.

Because it's true.

Notes:

Good morning/afternoon/evening!

Here I am, with the new chapter~

It's pretty long. I forgot about that and was surprised when I opened the doc just now.

I wanted to say thank you for all of the love this story (and me additionally) are receiving because I can't possibly believe it and-

Just wow, thank you so much, you're all incredibly people, and I've got something planned, so please read the endnote 3

Anyway, long story short, enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Letting go of a deep breath, Momo looked at her reflection in the mirror while she turned on the faucet. Wetting her toothbrush that Jirou'd thankfully brought along in the morning, she applied toothpaste and began vigorously brushing her teeth while she tried to make sense of the mush her brain was left as.

"You'll break a tooth at that speed," her purple haired friend smiled in the background, leaning against the wall next to the sink in the woman's bathroom.

Momo grimaced, looking at her directly before intensifying her motions and shaking her head.

It'd been way too long.

You only realize how much you miss something if you lose it, she thought to herself, spitting out the toothpaste in laughter.

Had she really just compared her despair over brushing her teeth to losing her fiancée?

She was some laughable little creature.

"What's so funny?" Jirou inquired, furrowing her eyebrows at her, "I want to laugh, too."

"Nothing," Momo replied, wiping her mouth before smiling at her friend, "I just… I don't understand how it's possible, but… I'm not scared."

"Of course you're not, everything's going to be fine. Recovery Girl's got this," the earphone jack hero nodded, "It's more important to think about the future now."

"I'm just praying that it's finally time for things to get better instead of getting worse," she whispered, smiling at her friend in the mirror as she gathered the water in her hands to wash her face.

"Worse?" Jirou asked incredulously, "Have you ever seen the way he looks at you? The way he's been ever since you called me that night, telling me you like him?" the purple haired shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her chest before huffing quietly, "Of course I can't be sure it's not something that's unrelated to each other, but I'm pretty sure he's a lot better now when I think about the time before the sports festival and Ennichi."

Drowning her face in water, she rubbed her face, pulling the water through her hair as she righted herself up and turned around to face her friend, "You… don't think I've only been pulling him down?"

"Of course not. If anything, you're one of the instances pushing him up, and even if you argue and he runs off, the only reason he's reacting like this is because you made him care enough. It's not even about caring about you in person. If I think about what Kaminari told me Christmas Eve…" Momo furrowed her eyebrows at her friend's words, trying to comprehend them as she seemed to understand, "He's changed, for the better. And I don't mean that we like him better now, well, of course we do, but how often have you seen him smile before you found out you're engaged?"

Momo bit her lip, leaning back against the sink as she tilted her head, remembering that evening in front of school they'd talked and talked even though it'd long gotten dark and the way she'd awfully explained the meaning of a friend to him and the way he'd smiled-

"I did, once," she grinned, playing with the snowflake necklace and ring around her neck, feeling the soft curves and sharp edges underneath her fingertips, "When we were talking in front of school, long before we knew about the engagement after I'd lost so ridiculously during the sports festival… And when we coincidentally met at Ennichi, and he brought me home in the middle of the night, making sure I was safe and he smiled at me when he left off to the bus station again and I'm pretty sure he'd never expected me to notice but I did and I will never forget that," Momo shook her head, feeling the messy raven strands fall into her face once again, "And now this world is breaking down upon us and still he's smiling at me and telling me he loves me…"

"How…" Jirou got her attention once again as Momo looked up at her, seeing the slight smile on her friend's face. The purple haired girl's eyes delivered so much warmth she could feel her chest turn warm once again, "How the heck did you ever get the idea you were pulling him down?"

"Well-" Momo started, yet her words gave out as she couldn't come up with an answer.

He'd been sad when she accidentally went on that date with Awase.

But still they rose from their fall.

He'd broken down when Dabi revealed his identity on TV and they were almost forced to separate.

Still he told her he loved her and smiled at her and made love to her when they settled it.

He'd almost died after he'd burned her and tried to run away.

Yet there was nothing she could've done to change that.

The higher the rise, the deeper the fall, it said.

She didn't agree.

"The deeper we fall, the harder we crash…" she whispered, staring at the ring in her hand as she couldn't stop smiling at it, "… the higher we fly."

Was this… their fate?

Not… to fall apart…?

But… to heal?

"Finally," her friend whispered, nodding approvingly with her eyes closed with a content smile, "That's an outlook I support. Now finish getting ready, I want to eat lunch."

"Why are you still picking around in your food?" Jirou asked while she squinted at her, "One second ago you said you weren't worried anymore."

Momo smiled apologetically as she looked out of the window for a second as they were sitting in the cafeteria on the ground level of the hospital. Wide windows, bright light and white tiles on the floor made everything seem so… hopeful. The round table they were sitting at had exactly four chairs around it as the one to Momo's right was occupied by a certain green haired hero-in-training while Jirou sat opposite her. Aizawa had left them for lunch, saying that he still had to do a lot of paperwork to make sure Shouto'd stay in the hero course, even if he needed a bit of rehab after all of this.

"I only expel students with zero possibility of becoming a hero," the black haired had said while he was walking away, "This is clearly not the case."

Even though everything crashed down, everything seemed to be on their side, no matter if she understood it or not.

When he woke up, there'd be a lot to tell him once again. And he'd be happy to know he still was indeed a hero, no matter how hard he tried to prove to himself that he was the bad guy.

Taking a deep breath, she looked at her cold soba noodles, knowing that she should eat, even if it's just for his sake.

Well, she knew he loved to see her eat. Because that told him she was healthy and okay.

And she was okay, mostly. She couldn't wait for them to meet the therapist, the uncertainty weighing heavy on her stomach.

What if the therapist said they just weren't meant to be? And that they should leave it be?

But why would she? Even Jirou said they were meant for each other in their own sappy, awkward way.

"He'd be devastated if you let the noodles go to waste," Midoriya added, shoveling rice into his mouth as he smiled at them awkwardly, swallowing before continuing to speak, "What are you worrying about? The surgery?"

Momo blinked, looking outside again, watching the people go their ways, the busy street in front of the hospital being flooded by cars and ambulances and when one of them turned on their sirens, she looked back to her food.

She slowly seemed to understand.

The scars he carried, the trauma he lived with every day… she could feel it too. The constant fear, the reminder of the terrible things that'd happened to them…

"This feeling is dumb," she exclaimed, pouting as she looked up at her classmates that raised their eyebrows at her sudden incoherent outburst, "It hurts, and it's dumb. The therapist won't hate me and won't rip us apart," she nodded, her gaze turning determined as she started picking up noodles with her chopsticks and shoveling them into her mouth.

This was way more important.

He'd be worried sick once again if he found out she wasn't eating properly because of what'd happened.

Once the first bite was down, the fluttery feeling in her stomach disappeared and her plate was cleared in way too short a time for it to be healthy as she suddenly realized just how hungry she was. "I love him, and he loves me, and we'll have a happy ending. I'm not arguing about that," she added, putting her chopsticks down while wiping her mouth with a napkin.

That's when her ringtone pulled her out of it, making her blink a few times before pulling it out and seeing that her battery was below ten percent.

Yet, that really wasn't the pressing issue as she read the name in giant letters above the 'accept call' button.

Oh.

"My mom's calling," she quickly explained to Jirou, the worry suddenly spreading through her veins once again.

What if she… What if she found out…? Would she…? No, she promised they wouldn't do anything they didn't ask for-

"Answer," Jirou assured her, nodding carefully, "We're right here."

Letting go of a long breath, she accepted the call and held the phone to her ear.

"Momo, oh finally!" the voice from the other line greeted her, "We were so worried, you didn't answer us and we saw on the news that there was a villain attack and two UA students got hurt and then you didn't answer our calls-"

"I'm so sorry, mom," she bit her lip guiltily, "I should've called you."

"What happened?" her mother inquired, more sternly this time, "Did you get hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," she ensured, and only when she spoke she realized it wasn't a lie, holding a hand over her mouth as she realized just how much she'd worried her parents, "Shouto's in the hospital, I… I didn't get to check my phone, I'm so sorry."

"He's in the…? Oh, little one, is he okay?" her father interrupted. So they had the phone on speaker, she realized.

"He's…" she swallowed, "He's in surgery right now. It's… It's looking a lot better than yesterday. He'll live."

"How bad was it?" her mother asked calmly, yet Momo could feel the tension through the line.

"It's… He almost died," Momo admitted, "It was close."

"I understand," the older Yaoyorozu woman's voice turned soft, "Should we… Should we visit? Or is it too much after we've been so… mean to you both?"

Her mother wanted to come visit him in the hospital?

W-What?

So she… really wanted to give him a chance?

Her eyes watered a little as she quickly blinked the tears away. There was no reason to cry. This was good, very good.

"It's… It's okay. I'll… I'll tell you when he wakes up. There's… a lot to handle, first. Would you… Would you mind if we meet you after he's released?"

Her mother sighed deeply and long, so untypical for a Yaoyorozu that Momo's eyebrows furrowed, "I understand. You know where to find us. If you need to talk, little one, we'll be right here."

"Thank you, mom, dad," she nodded, smiling as her sight cleared up, "I love you."

This gratitude wasn't only for their proposal to talk.

But also that they really gave him another chance.

"We love you too, Momo," her father added, playfully but still pained, "We're still waiting to get to know him."

That's what they promised, after all.

And Yaoyorozu's always kept their promises.

Momo nodded once again, knowing they couldn't see her, yet she couldn't stop herself, "I'm glad."

It was the truth.

"Please text me when you know details," her mother demanded sternly, "We're worried about both of you."

"I will," she promised, looking at her classmates before nodding, making sure they knew she was okay.

"I wish you the best, Momo," Itsume whispered, "In every way."

And when Momo looked outside the window again, she saw the flower shop on the other side of the street.

With it, familiar flowers that let her heart skip a beat at the memories connected to them.

Oh, no matter how sappy it was, she really needed to get them.

"Thanks, mom, but I need to hang up now," she bit her lip as she grinned, already giddy to get up and run, "I'll talk to you later."

Groaning, he blinked against the light illuminating the room through the open windows as he tried to ignore that it was already bright outside.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he buried his face in the fluffy comforter, the soft warmth reminding him of a special person and the first night they'd fallen asleep in the same bed after he'd told her his story.

He felt free, somehow, the pain he'd been expecting totally nonexistent as he carefully shifted his upper body around. Funny. Was he dead?

No, the steady beeping of the machine next to him told him he was very, very alive.

Sighing, he pulled the comforter up to his nose, being only timidly annoyed at the IV-needle in his hand that was obstructing his movement.

"Todoroki," he heard his name, making him grimace as he realized someone had seen him snuggling into the hospital bed in his half-slumber.

Opening his eyes slightly, he identified a rather familiar school nurse that must've been involved in getting him better.

"Recovery Girl?" he asked intelligently, his voice hoarse from sleep as he realized he really was laying on his side. Was that… Was that okay?

"Yes, that's me," the older woman replied mockingly, smiling at him as her eyes crinkled until they were closed, "How do you feel?"

"Tired," he replied, pulling the comforter up once again, knowing he'd muffled his voice yet his eyes were already disobeying him and falling shut.

"Your wounds are all healed up. It will take some time for the transplanted skin to adapt fully, so be especially careful with your quirk as it's sensitive to temperature changes and touch," she explained, making him furrow his eyebrows.

"Transplanted… what?" he asked, opening his eyes to look at her as she was sitting next to the bed, using her cane as a crutch as she was leaning forward to him.

They had… transplanted skin? Had he… hurt himself that much?

"Yes, Todoroki," she explained, her smile shrinking a little, "The wound wasn't deep anymore, so there was mainly skin tissue affected by the frostbite. I wish I'd come here right away, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

He blinked, trying to understand her words. He was still so tired, his brain not really working the way he wanted it to.

"It's… okay," he nodded into the comforter, closing his eyes to save a little energy.

"There's a few things you'll need to keep in mind, but I'm going to tell those to your mother and sister. Of course I'll explain them to you as well, once you're fully rested and able to remember them properly," her voice was quiet and he had to concentrate a lot to understand her, yet he nodded once again, "Good."

He could hear rustling before footsteps, realizing she must've gotten up. As the blinding light disappeared, he let out another soft sigh of relief as he blinked at the nurse.

"Sleep well, future hero," she said, smiling worriedly, "It's okay to hurt sometimes. Just make sure to ask for help in times you can't be your own hero."

She was right.

He just had to remember that for once.

Because it's what Momo always said as well.

"Thank you," he whispered, and before he could hear another of her quiet footsteps, he'd disappeared into the welcoming darkness once again.

And he was smiling, because he knew he was alive.

He was going to live, and he was going to get another chance.

That's all that counted.

It was still dark in the room when Shouto woke up, pulling the comforter back up over his nose as it'd slid down while he slept. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes again, relishing at the feeling of warmth surrounding him. It was different, though, when Momo hugged him.

Her warmth carried love, after all.

And suddenly this comforter didn't seem to be as comforting as it'd been moments before.

He'd probably scared her to death once again.

Blinking his eyes open, he identified the brunette nurse standing next to the bed, quietly checking his vitals as she wanted to reach for his hand to look at the IV-needle and he guessed to see if it was still dripping fluid into his bloodstream.

"Good evening, Todoroki," she greeted him after pulling her hand back for a moment, blinking before going back to doing her job, "Your vitals look good. Your temperature is a bit above average, but that's to be expected after a surgery and we're giving you medication to keep it in acceptable measures but we'll need to ask you to go slow with using your quirk, the transplant will need some time to adjust and there'll need to be regular checkups."

"Mh hm," he muffled into the comforter before slowly shifting around until he was lying on his back.

It didn't hurt.

Not at all.

It was a little weird, like a pressure in the area he must've frozen himself before.

Would it… Would it be visible?

That he'd been more than just a wreck after all of this? That he was too dumb to even keep his own quirk in check as he'd hurt himself even after the worst was over?

He shouldn't be surprised, after all, he'd always had the tendency to freeze his mind and body when he was overwhelmed, yet… there hadn't been anything triggering it this time. It'd just happened. He had just started freezing himself, and he didn't know why it happened or how to control it.

The nurse sighed, getting his attention as he shifted his shoulder around to find a comfortable position in which the pressure didn't distract him as much, failing in finding it as he furrowed his eyebrows.

"It's probably still uncomfortable, but it'll get better with time. Can you feel the pressure from leaning into the pillows?" she asked, taking her clipboard from where it had been tucked under her arm before she smiled at him warmly.

"Yeah," he nodded, trying to feel where it started and where it ended, wondering if it would be obvious, just like the scar at his left eye, reminding him of a past he just wanted to forget about, "It's… weird."

"I see," the nurse scribbled something down on her clipboard, "That's a very good sign. Do you think you can eat?"

Now that she said it… He swallowed his eminent 'no' as he didn't feel like food was a good idea.

"I think so," he finally fully leaned back in the pillows, letting go of a long sigh of relief as he could close his eyes once again. He was still so exhausted.

He just wanted to cuddle with Momo. Was that too much to ask for?

Why was there so much getting in their way? Why was the biggest obstacle between them the mess that was him?

"Good, it should be dinnertime soon. Are you fit for visitors?" she asked, tucking the clipboard under her arm again before she walked over to the jalousies, pulling them open. Shouto closed his eyes to brace himself for light streaming in, yet the only thing lighting the room was warm last rays of the sun before it'd go to rest for the day.

Another sunset, wasn't it?

The room was illuminated by the soft orange tones of a day he remembered so clearly when he'd first asked her if she believed in fate-

"Yes," he smiled, blinking away the wetness that'd built up in the corners of his eyes as he looked at the beautiful sky outside, knowing that even though this light would fade for today…

…it'd rise again tomorrow.

"Alright," the nurse smiled, turning the lighting on fully from its dimmed state as she walked over to the door, "I'll be back with food soon."

"Thank you," he whispered, shifting a little and righting the pillows at his back as he took the remote to be able to sit up a little more while he ruffled his hair with his other hand so it'd stop falling into his eyes.

Momo had been right, he seriously needed a haircut.

"Shouto!" he suddenly heard as his sister stormed into the room, breathing heavily as she ran over to him, stopping a few feet away as she looked at him questioningly, fiddling with her fingers, a motion that reminded him of his fiancée. Quickly, he nodded and before he could even lift his head again, Fuyumi had wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close to her.

He thought back to the first awkward hug he'd shared with his sister.

That day his father had told him of his fate to marry a girl he'd never even met.

Had… he met Momo before UA? He… He couldn't remember, the memories of that time dark and specked with those tiny glimmers of hope before they faded.

Gently, he set his hands down on her back, burying his face at her shoulder as he let go of a long breath.

His sister had always tried to give him the love he'd craved so much without knowing, almost rejecting her efforts as everything seemed meaningless anyway, and now she was here, not even trying, but calming his heart with that little bit of familiar love that might've been enough to save him many years ago.

"Yo, little bro," he heard his brother's voice before his mother reprimanded him for talking like this when he was studying medicine, "Need some blankets?"

Looking up to the rest of his family, Shouto huffed as he saw his brother carrying a whole load of blankets that made it impossible for his face to be visible.

"I'm warm, thanks," Shouto replied as Fuyumi pulled away, righting her glasses before smiling at him, "Hi," he added awkwardly, looking from his sister to his mother who's smile let his heart turn even warmer as he let go of a long breath.

"What'd you mean, you're warm? Don't give me that, there'll be no frostbite in here, so take them. All of them," his brother stretched his neck so he could look at him over the colorful blankets, "Five should be enough."

"You want me to get a heatstroke?" Shouto said deadpan, masking how much it touched him that his brother cared so much, "How nice of you."

"Before you two continue arguing, may I get a hug?" Rei interrupted their banter, looking back and forth between her sons as she walked over to the one in the hospital bed.

His sister laughed, walking over to Natsuo and taking a few of the blankets out of his hands so he could properly look at his younger brother. Shouto then understood the way he smiled, without it truly reaching his eyes, worry visible in the way his eyebrows furrowed.

"Hug, then blankets," Shouto nodded, stretching out his arms to reach for his mother who quickly wrapped her arms around his shoulders, carefully pulling him close and burying her hand in his messy, uncombed and probably disgusting hair as she pressed a careful kiss to his forehead.

"I'm sorry for worrying you so much," he whispered, sheepishly looking up to his mom who only shook her head, caressing his scalp before taking a step back.

"Don't apologize," she explained, putting one of her own strands of hair behind her ear, the motion letting her look so much younger than he knew she was, "I'm your mother. If there's someone who's supposed to worry, it's me. And I'm sorry I couldn't show you that for so long."

"It's fine," he looked to his right as he let his arms sink to his sides, "You never meant for this to happen."

"And still it did," she smiled, her gaze wandering to the floor.

"It's not your fault," he shook his head, sitting up a little more as he saw Natsuo and Fuyumi setting down the blankets.

"It's all of our faults," Natsuo whispered, getting his brother's attention as he looked at him once again, "There's so much we could've done, and yet we didn't."

Shouto bit his lip.

This…wasn't…

"Shouto," his brother whispered, fisting both of his hands into the metal rail that built the end of the hospital bed as he turned his face away, the pain visible in the way he clenched his teeth, "Don't you… Don't you dare say that we're not at fault."

Huffing, his brother took his left hand from the metal keeping him grounded to ball it into a fist at the collar of his white sweater, pulling it away to breathe easier, "Just don't. Not… Not when I have your blood on my hands."

Shouto's eyebrows furrowed as he blinked, trying to make sense of his brother's words.

"Natsuo-" his mother wanted to interrupt him, laying a hand down on her older son's shoulder as Shouto let go of a deep breath, feeling the ice prickle underneath his fingertips yet he quickly put it on his left arm to keep it warm.

He had to. There was nothing else he could do.

"You don't… Why would you…?" he tripped over his words as he tried to catch his brother's gaze who only shook his head in reply.

"When I became a doctor… I never… I never thought it'd be you I'd lose first," the white haired man admitted, covering his eyes with the back of his hand as his breathing hitched, and Shouto wanted to move to get up, yet he couldn't as he was just staring, not being able to do anything. Fuyumi was walking over to him when she saw his shocked face, trying to get him out of that trance once again.

Shouto swallowed.

"What… do you mean?" he asked his brother, voice on the verge of breaking, yet there's nothing that could've stopped his voice.

"Shouto, your heart stopped. beating. There was… There was nothing I could do. Nothing I could ever do-" his brother hit his second hand on the rail as well, "I became a doctor and was still absolutely useless!"

"You're not-" Shouto righted himself up, even though his limbs seemed so heavy as he was just so exhausted, realizing just how close he'd actually been to death-

He had hurt everyone, hadn't he?

"I'm sorry," he whispered, looking to his feet as there was only a huge blank in the back of his mind that didn't leave room for any coherent thoughts, "I shouldn't have run away."

"You-" Natsuo's voice broke as he walked over to his brother, stopping right in front of him as the dual haired boy had gotten to his knees, still looking up to the taller man.

For a moment, it seemed like time had stopped.

Taking in a shaky breath of air, his brother wrapped his arms around his little brother, pulling him towards his warm chest as Shouto could hear him sobbing. Awkwardly, he wrapped his arms around the waist of the older man, holding on tight as he realized how much he craved this innocent little gesture that he'd never even dreamed of getting for so long.

"You're such an idiot sometimes," his brother shook his head, still interrupted by his cries as he gently pressed the hero-in-training's head against his chest, "Don't blame yourself for the way you are. You're awesome, and you're a hero, and you deserve so much more than we could ever give you to make up for all of the things we've missed in the past."

Choking on his words, Shouto nodded before he felt another set of arms around them, "There's more to say," his mother added, "But you're getting the gist of what we feel. I'm sorry, both of you. I love you."

"It's okay," he whispered, muffled into his brother's shoulder, "It's going to be okay."

"You're important, little brother," his brother's voice was so quiet Shouto wasn't sure if he had heard it right, yet he wasn't sure what he could've said otherwise, "… and we adore you to bits, even if it doesn't feel like it's true sometimes. I promise you're very important to so many people."

"Us," his sister explained, voice hoarse as she'd taken place on the other side of the bed, resting her hand on Shouto's shoulder, "Your classmates. And the girl you've given your heart to, of course."

"Where…" he wondered, whispering quietly as he pulled his eyebrows together, "Where's Momo? Did she leave?"

"No!" his mother laughed, dry and awkward as she was still trying to blink the glassiness in her eyes away, "Momo's with Jirou and Midoriya at the moment. We… Or rather, Fuyumi already texted Jirou that you're awake, don't worry. She wouldn't leave without saying anything."

A rock he hadn't known he'd carried fell from his chest.

"I… I see," Shouto nodded and his brother slowly pulled back, placing both of his hands on the younger boy's shoulders.

"Anyway. Let's tuck you in blankets and feed you hot chocolate," the white haired man concluded, bright smile visible on his face as he sniffed again. Huffing, the dual haired hero-in-training sat back to lean against the pillows as his sister helped unfold the many, many blankets.

A knock on the door caught his attention as he sat up once again, eyes widening in expectation.

"Can I… Can I come in?" he heard a very familiar voice before he could see the raven haired girl sticking her head into the room hesitantly. The tone of her voice was soft as the ocean breeze, warm and loving like the last rays of the sun that'd long left his field of vision as the only thing lighting the room were the way too bright overhead lights and he swore he couldn't hear anything but her in that moment.

Her eyes were full of worry, which quickly dissipated as she saw him awake and he knew she let go of a long breath before stepping inside at his vigorous nodding.

"I… I know that's super sappy," she breathed bashfully, looking at what she'd been holding in her hands before a bright smile found its way to her face, "But I… I had to get those for you."

And that's when he'd finally looked away from her gorgeous onyx eyes in which he must've gotten lost once again as he saw the bouquet of flowers she was holding.

Flowers he'd definitely seen before. Flowers he'd definitely recognize anywhere.

Irises.

Beautiful, bright yellow Irises with a meaning he'd never forget.

Swallowing, he jumped up again, glad she was standing right at the edge of the bed as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as he was kneeling on the bed. She quickly reacted, moving her arms so the flowers would be safe as he just held onto her like she was his lifeboat.

Well, she was, somehow.

Even though this lifeboat wouldn't be able to carry him in this storm of a world… it was everything that mattered as he breathed in her flowery scent. She must've handed the flowers to someone as he could feel how she placed her hands on his back and he couldn't help but notice how weird and sensitive this specific spot on his back was. Yet, he only let go of a long breath as he realized that it didn't hurt before he buried his face at her collarbone.

She tucked his head under her chin, carefully, gently tracing soothing circles on his back as he melted into her touch.

This woman… would be the end of him, one day. But she was also his beginning, somehow, so that'd work, wouldn't it?

"I'm so sorry for scaring you," he whispered, voice muffled by her beige sweater, yet she seemed to understand him as she moved one of her hands up, a gasp escaping him as she set it down on the back of his head, caressing his scalp like his mom had done a few minutes ago.

He'd broken her heart once again, hadn't he?

"I love you," was her only response as she suddenly sounded so close to breaking he knew it definitely wasn't okay.

And yet she held him tight.

"I love you too," he pulled back a little so he'd be more understandable as he looked up and into her wonderful, entrancing eyes that were so covered in pain and unspoken worries his breathing caught in his throat, "How… How are you?"

"Shouldn't I be the one to ask that?" she smiled, moving her hands at his sides to cup his cheeks, "You were the one in surgery not too long ago."

"I'm… okay," he said quietly, his voice hoarse, "I think I'm okay now," shaking his head, he laid his hands down on hers, moving up a little to press a timid kiss to her cheek.

After all of this… he really didn't want to be presumptuous and think that it'd be okay for him to do whatever just because they'd made promises before all of this-

He really had to reevaluate the meaning of a promise, hadn't he?

She crossed the distance between them, the galaxies seeming to keep them apart as she gently pressed her lips to his, leaving him breathless at the tingling sensation as he forgot they weren't alone in the room.

His heart leapt, his face burned and his hands couldn't stop shaking as he held onto her as she kissed him so chastely, so carefully.

It was as if she thought he'd break underneath her touch, and he didn't like that, yet he could understand her as he deepened the kiss, grasping that this woman in front of him seemed to know so much more about him than he'd ever guess. Still there were things she didn't know, details and stories of a life so lonely he knew she'd cry once again and he couldn't- He couldn't say it.

Not now, not how he was now.

Breaking the kiss softly, she leaned her forehead against his before pulling back and smiling at him, tilting her head slightly.

"Thank you for the flowers," he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head with the hand that wasn't attached to the IV he'd officially pulled halfway across the room as he just had to hug his fiancée right now.

"Of course," she pressed another peck on his cheek, and that's when he noticed the way his brother was smiling at them-

Oh. So they… weren't alone, after all.

Fuyumi was laughing quietly in the background, his mother tuning in with chaste chuckling as she smiled at them warmly.

"You kids… are just absolutely adorable," his brother huffed, mimicking for Shouto to sit back down so he could finally tuck him into the blankets, "I wonder if it'll stay the same once you grow older and get into other stuff- Yeah, mom, I'll be quiet, I never said anything, and Shouto, why are you looking at me like this?" Natsuo blinked for a few times before his eyes widened and he looked at the raven haired girl standing next to them, blushing profusely.

"I guess that answers all questions," the white haired man then noted, nodding before throwing the first blanket over him before he broke out in a fit of laughter.

"I'm gonna go get a vase-" Fuyumi interjected, blushing as well, pushing back her glasses as she held onto the bouquet of flowers.

"Shouto? Momo?" his mother then blinked wide eyed, staring at the floor before looking up and gazing at both of them, "Is there… something you need to tell me?"

"We're careful!" Momo shook her head, "Everything's fine."

That's when his mother surprised him even more than he thought possible as she clapped her hands together and jumped excitedly, "Will I become a grandma?"

"Mom!" all Todoroki children answered in choir before Fuyumi, still holding onto the bouquet of flowers, awkwardly looked up at them, "Just because you can't count on me you can't want your youngest son to become a father at sixteen-"

"I'm joking," the white haired woman replied, shaking her head while she was trying to suppress her grin, turning towards the raven haired girl who looked like her brain just stopped working.

Shouto held onto her sleeve, just in case she was going to faint and he had to pull her towards him.

"Momo, I'm sorry if I scared you," his mother explained as Momo gently patted her own cheeks, probably trying to cool down from the embarrassment she felt, "You're already thrown into this marriage, I really don't want you to feel pressured by me. You have all time in the world."

Shouto blinked, trying to understand Rei's words as he looked at Momo who caught his gaze, holding it as he took his right hand with the IV in it, moving it upwards to cup her cheek, gently removing her own hands as he cooled her down. He was careful, making sure not to overuse his quirk and possibly hurt himself as he himself felt like he was burning up. The raven haired angel in front of him smiled at him, nodding carefully as her eyes seemed to sparkle and she put her hand on his once again, using her other hand as leverage on the rail before she closed her eyes. She looked content, happy with the way his calloused hand cooled her down as her raven strands fell into her face because she wasn't wearing a ponytail today.

"Mom," he said, looking over to the white haired woman that was watching them with a soft smile, "Endeavor agreed to a change of contract. We're… We're not going to get married at sixteen."

"He- He did?" her grey eyes blinked a few times before she tilted her head in thought, furrowing her eyebrows, "You're allowed to decide this for yourselves?"

"Yes," Momo nodded, joining the conversation as she pressed his cold hand to her cheek, opening her eyes to look at his mother, "We're free to decide when we're going to marry."

"Really?" his brother chimed in, and when Shouto looked around he also saw how shocked Fuyumi looked, "He really… did that?"

"Yeah," Shouto nodded, "I don't… I'm not sure why he did… But he did."

Biting his lip, he shook his head, slowly letting go of Momo's cheek as she smiled at him, thanking him carefully.

"Alright," Natsuo then remarked, "I'll let your wife tuck you back into bed. Dinner should be in about twenty minutes, I'll go get hot chocolate, Fuyumi, do you want to get the vase?"

"Yeah, sounds like a good plan! Mom, do you want to help me search for one?" his sister then smiled brightly, even though Shouto could see the glassy sheen in her eyes as she nodded.

"Of course," his mother nodded, brightly beaming at them as well before she put a hand on his Shoulder, pressing it firmly, "We'll be right back."

"Alright," he whispered, feeling his voice give out as he understood that his family was leaving so they could be alone.

"No dirty deeds while we're gone!" Natsuo laughed as he was one foot out of the door, holding onto the handle as he stopped mid-motion, "I'm glad you're still here, Shouto."

Shouto swallowed.

"Me too," his voice broke.

Once he heard the click of the door, he looked back at Momo who smiled at him warmly, yet he couldn't help but see the worry in her eyes.

She bit her lip, opening her mouth as if she wanted to say something, yet she just closed it and let go of a long breath, "Let's… Let's tuck you into bed."

"O-Okay," he stammered, knowing that he should ask what's wrong but he was so scared of her answer and if she truly stopped loving him after all this-

But she'd said it again, not even five minutes ago.

She wouldn't lie to him.

Something was wrong.

And he couldn't help but know that he was the reason for it.

Slowly, he crawled back to the head of the bed, sinking back down in the pillows as she joined his side, her smile turning warm once again as she sorted through the blankets, getting them righted before throwing them over him playfully.

"Hey," he argued powerless, feeling his cheeks heat up as she giggled before she walked over to him.

She let go of a long breath, then, her giggles dissipating in the steady beeping of the machine next to him that she pushed back to where it was supposed to be as he'd really dragged everything with him when he'd jumped up, "I was worried."

"I'm so-"

"Don't apologize," she shook her head, spreading the blankets nicely before she started tugging them in at his sides.

Sighing, he held onto her wrist, making her look up at him once again as she bit on her lips.

Even if she didn't want him to apologize…

"Something's wrong," he whispered, shaking his head, "And I know it's me and how I can't even stay well after they fixed the worst," Shouto swallowed, "So I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

"That's not-" her breathing hitched when she took a deep breath, "I'm not mad about you being hurt, well, of course I am, but not mad at you. I just want you to be okay, yet I don't know what to do to help you," she effortlessly freed her wrist from his grip as she took his hand and sat down on the bed next to him, pressing a chaste kiss on the back of his hand, "I'm supposed to be a hero and yet I feel so powerless whenever I think about what happened to you and how I couldn't do anything."

"You are a hero," he pulled her towards him, feeling how she lost her balance as he caught her. She was almost straddling him, a bright blush on her face once again as he cupped her cheeks, making sure she was looking at him, "I love you, and you are a true hero to me," shaking his head, he bit his lips before he looked at her again, "Is it… the memories? The nightmares? Natsuo said I… I was as good as dead. And I know you were there, I could feel it, so… is it…that?"

When she closed her eyes, swallowing audibly, he knew that he'd found his answer.

"We… We should call my therapist, shouldn't we?" he whispered, his voice hoarse and broken as he realized that somehow, in a terrible way, and not without his influence…

… she was hurt, just like him.

"I…" she cleared her voice as she opened her eyes to catch his gaze, "I love you, Shouto… and that's why… yes, let's call her. She will know how to help us. I'm… I'm giving you my everything," she laid her right hand down on his left, gently caressing it, "And I know you are too, but this… This was so much more than just us two and a little argument- I… I want this to work. I want this to be the healthy relationship you need and deserve."

"Yeah," he nodded, "I agree. I don't want to feel like I'm pulling you down, yet I do. I don't want to feel like pushing you away is going to save you, yet I do. I don't want to break your heart and yet I freaking do. There's… There's so much wrong, and we can't make it right alone. You deserve more than the world, Momo, and I do not plan on taking it from you."

She interrupted him, pressing her lips to his as she took both of his hands away from his face, the passion and unspoken promises making him dizzy as he fell in love with her touch once again. He reciprocated the kiss, moving against her in a rhythm they'd learned to follow so well as her tongue nipped at his lip.

Gasping for air, he broke the kiss, "I haven't brushed my teeth yet."

He knew his cheeks were red, saw that hers were too as she broke out in laughter, moving until she was fully straddling him, at least three blankets between them as she moved a few strands of hair out of his face, pushing them behind his ear as her eyes were glazed over.

"I don't care," she whispered quietly, touching his nose with hers before she slid further down and kissed his lips. He absentmindedly nodded into the kiss as he let her tongue explore his mouth, leaving him breathless and confused and without any sense of where or who he was and what'd happened.

It'd long gone dark outside, the stars on the January sky watching them as they slowly left off of each other as she caressed his cheeks, "I can't believe how much I love you."

"You have to," he smirked, "Because I do believe in how much I love you, Yaoyorozu Momo."

She huffed, pressing another short and soft kiss on his forehead before pulling out her phone from her pocket, "I… I charged it earlier, before Midoriya and Jirou left with Aizawa- Oh, I was supposed to tell you to get better soon by all of them, and Aizawa told me about how everything's going to go on as they're not supposed to give you trouble in the hospital now, so I can tell you that you're staying in the hero course, without a doubt, and it's most important that you get better soon," she bashfully looked away before she locked eyes with him again.

"I've got fake skin in my back, Momo," he suddenly burst out, her eyes widening as she nodded. So she'd definitely known about that, "I… I'll need a while until I'm back to being a full hero, won't I?"

"He knows," she explained as she was biting her lip, "It's… okay to take a while to get better."

"Will you… train with me, once again?" he asked her, remembering how they'd first trained together last summer as she'd beaten him in quirkless combat as he'd been completely out of it. He was pretty sure she still could, if she tried.

"Of course I will," she smiled, holding up her phone, "Anyway. We need to call the therapist. Now."

"Yeah," he nodded, "I don't know where my phone is, but I remember the number."

It was for emergencies after all.

"Alright," she nodded, handing him the phone.

He typed in the number.

Then he pressed call.

It was time for them to finally get the help they needed.

So they could make this work the second time around.

I can take the fall: the pain, the pleasure
And you can take it all, for worse, or better
But oh, what if we're wrong?
What if we're not all that we thought?
Then we won't make it long, but hey, I guess that's love

That's Us – Anson Seabra

Notes:

Midoriya and Jirou are the best friends. Momo realizes they're not supposed to fall apart.
Shouto finally gets all the blankets and love he deserves and they're finally making an appointment with the therapist! :)

Feel free to tell me your thoughts and/or yell at me on tumblr or here in the comments~ (My tumblr is back alive, lol There were some issues and it was blocked but I'm back)

Now to the special that I've teased in the note in the beginning:
We've almost reached a thousand Kudos on this story, and because there are many people on discord as well that seem to adore this story as well (along with the fact that there's gonna be a sequel that's just as long) I thought it might be a good idea to set up a discord server for it? :) It's not just for this story, but also just a cozy place to let off some steam and have some people to talk to, so please tell me your thoughts on that! :)

Thank you for reading all the way here, you amazing human beings~

Have a great week!

Chapter 34: 'Cause I don't think it's an accident that tears are shaped like seeds

Summary:

Tragedy is Not the End - Joel Ansett

Two healing souls find the calm in an everlasting storm as their connection will withstand the winds of fate.

Because together, they can pave their own path.

Notes:

Oh, what do we have here? An early chapter?

Yes, indeed, and additionally I've got the best news ever!

Captain Rose started a reading/an audiobook for Crash!
Listen to chapter 1 right here! and definitely feel free to subsrice to him and give it a lot of love because chapter two is already done as well! (I'd say I'm finally done freaking out, but... big no, of course *cries happily*)

Anyway! Here we've got the new chapter, and it's finally time for therapy.

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"How are you, Shouto?" his therapist asked, the purple haired woman looking at him, carefully laying down her pen on the clipboard that she'd placed over her folded legs as he was sitting on the couch in front of her.

Thanks to Recovery Girl he was able to walk properly again as he'd put on clothes that Momo had made for him as an exception. Biting his lip, Shouto nodded, knowing that telling the truth was the only way the woman in front of him could help him.

Momo was waiting outside.

"I'm… pretty fine, right now," he answered, nodding carefully as he bit his lips, "The transplant still feels weird but they said that's normal."

"A transplant," she nodded, taking notes on her clipboard before looking at him again, the deep dark circles showing him that this was indeed an emergency sitting as it was late at night, "Why were you hospitalized, Shouto?"

He cleared his voice as he looked around the room, seeing a different kind of flower in the vase he'd last seen the familiar Irises in as his therapist's office was in the same hospital he'd been admitted to, allowing him to go back to his room after all of this-

"I wanted to run away," he whispered, avoiding her dark grey eyes as he searched for anything to hold onto with his gaze, "I hurt my fiancée."

"Did you want to hurt her?" she asked, and he could feel her burning gaze at the side of his face as he shook his head.

"No," his voice was still hoarse, somehow, "I… I didn't mean to. I was… in thought, and I saw fire and I… I just messed it all up."

The memories of fire, and her scream that'd hurt him in mark and bone came back to his mind as he closed his eyes, letting go of a long breath.

"Why were you in thought?" her voice interrupted the way his mind was trying to go down.

"My… My brother called me. You probably saw it on the news, the villain, Dabi, he's my brother," he swallowed, pondering if he should really say it all yet he knew that was the only way it'd lead to him getting better in the end- "He told me I was just like him. And that we were just failures of the same trophy father. I… I couldn't," his voice broke as he gently hit one of his hands against the side of his head, "I could't stop thinking about that and if I was really…if I was really like my father, abusive and hurting the one I love and-" he cleared his voice as it broke once again, the lump in his throat making it difficult to talk, "Then I burned her, because I got scared of an explosion by a friend of mine. It's… It's nothing that should trigger panic attacks, I mean… I never have them because of fire after all, but… I don't know what went wrong, but I only knew that I couldn't stay because I was the one putting her down when I swore to lift her up."

He blinked quickly, trying to ignore the burning in his eyes as he pushed his hair out of his face once again.

"What was her reaction?" the therapist asked and Shouto locked eyes with her, furrowing his eyebrows at the question.

"She…She said she was worried about me," he concluded, not knowing what he was supposed to say.

"You're conflicted," she noted, looking him up and down, making him let go of another deep breath, "About what she thinks of you?"

"No," he shook his head, "I know she loves me, and even if it confuses me so much sometimes, it's a good thing. I know that, even when I push her away. I don't… I don't want her to go through the same thing my mother had to live through."

"Do you expect yourself to turn into a man like your father?"

He turned his head away again, noting out of the corner of his eye how she nodded.

"What do you think about yourself?" her question only made him blink at the wall as he… didn't have a real answer to it.

"You're confused," she noted, "You're… afraid… of yourself."

He bit his lip as he closed his eyes.

"Are you afraid of what you can do?"

It was quick, probably not even really visible as he nodded slightly, keeping his sight on that white concrete wall in front of him.

"Do you hate yourself?"

He hadn't spoken the answer out loud, yet he could feel how his heart dropped, telling him an obvious 'yes' where he wished it didn't exist.

"Yeah," he mumbled, "I really hate myself sometimes."

"Mh," she noted, blinking a few times while she seemed to analyze his feelings once again, "How deep… does this hatred reach?"

"What do you mean?" he furrowed his eyebrows, staring at his hands as he curved them and then stretched them out again, feeling his knuckles crack. Once he was done with that, he pulled at the sleeve of his black turtleneck. Anything to distract himself.

"Can I hold your hand for a moment, Shouto?" she asked quietly, holding out her left hand as Shouto looked up at her, stopping mid-motion as he held onto the dark fabric.

"Why?"

"Speaking to you, I can sense how you feel. Touching you, I can get pictures, thoughts of yours to answer questions you're not daring to answer yourself," she explained, "It's not in the contract you signed as I'm only using it when absolutely necessary. Like… in emergencies."

And he was an emergency, somehow.

"I-" his mind stumbled over the words as he tried to come to a conclusion,

He didn't understand himself, and as he looked up and into the bright, warm and trustworthy eyes of the woman in front of him, he nodded, letting go of his pullover before reaching out his hand, stopping a few inches before touching hers.

She nodded, motioning for him to take the hand.

He let go of a long breath.

Taking it, he was suddenly flooded with a feeling he'd never expected himself to feel as the sudden wave of sadness could've knocked him out if it wasn't already there to begin with.

"If that's all that it takes to bring you down, even a mock villain would be enough to kill you."

The voice in his mind suddenly brought to light send shivers down his spine as the goose bumps on his arms intensified.

"Mom, I can't- Every day, they look more and more like him- I can't raise him anymore. If I do, it'll end bad-"

A tear slipped out of his eye as he closed his eyes to block out the world as he only felt so much sadness and loneliness and he couldn't believe that this was supposed to be his mind-

His father had hurt him. His mother had hurt him.

But she… She didn't want to-

"It's your power, isn't it?"

He choked on his breath as he remembered the confusion and yet freedom he'd felt at such simple, little words that'd changed everything-

I am a child, stumbling in footsteps way too big for me, in a snowfield too deep to cross, searching for a way out of a life that doesn't feel like it is mine in the first place.

His breathing was way too fast as he concentrated on slowing it down somehow as there was no reason for him to go into panic mode now and as he tried to feel if he was freezing himself, he couldn't even use his quirk at all.

It was true.

He was still just a child.

And even though there was a hand held out to him in this snowfield, this storm of a world, he had always kept the possibility in mind that he'd lose it anyway and if this love was only going to hurt her, he could also just let go-

"You can be the hero you want to be. You can be the man you want to be. You are not bound by your blood. Make your own decisions and carve your own path. Because I know you can."

What?

"I took away all choices you could've made in your life, and I admit that was wrong."

Why…?

"Even if it all comes crashing down, I'd be happy to say that the one by my side was you."

He opened his eyes in shock at the sudden warmth that seemed to burn in his veins as he panicked if he'd accidentally set something on fire while he knew that it wasn't that. Dizyy, he tried to orientate himself as he let go of her hand.

The purple haired woman took a deep, calm breath before opening her glassy eyes.

"Who is caging you?" she asked, quietly as their eyes locked and he felt more tears slip down his face.

That's when he understood.

His father wasn't caging him, not anymore.

The only one who held him in place…

…was himself.

He hated himself because he couldn't be free even when there were no chains holding him back.

"You have depression, Shouto," his therapist told him finally as he concentrated back on her, a little dizzy because of the mush state his brain was in, "Both the fear of intimacy, as well as what I've felt of your past-"

She took a deep breath, blinking a few times, letting Shouto realize she wasn't completely unaffected by what she'd seen. Or felt. He didn't really understand how her quirk worked.

"I agree with your guess that it's a branch of PTSD, a posttraumatic stress disorder."

Gulping, he nodded.

"What… What can I do?"

That's the only thing that counted. Giving it names had helped in taking care of the symptoms but it still didn't make everything okay.

The purple haired woman looked at her clipboard before looking at him thoughtfully.

"I don't want to prescribe you with antidepressants yet. You're young, and both the dependence rate as well as the health inflictions and side effects aren't what I'd turn to first," she explained, writing down more notes on her clipboard, "Does talking about it help you?"

He really… He really didn't want antidepressants.

They'd only make him feel like he'd really gone mad.

Did talking… help him?

"Yes," he nodded, "I think talking helps."

"Do you have someone to talk to once you're feeling down?" she asked slowly, looking up to him.

"Well," his eyebrows furrowed, "My fiancée, I guess."

"Are there more people than her?"

"I could…" he understood that he couldn't just lean on her completely, so, "I could ask a few friends of mine, and my siblings and mother."

"That's good," she nodded, "Ask people you trust, and tell them how you feel, and you'll see that they won't judge you for who you were, neither for who you're trying to become."

He nodded.

"I just… I don't understand how that's solving any of the main issue. I mean… that still doesn't make it easier to talk or think about my dad."

"Dad?" she asked, smiling slightly, "That's the first time you've chosen another word than father or Endeavor."

W-What?

Had he… When had he started-

"Do you think…" he heard himself asking without him intending on it, "Do you think it would help to talk to him about everything? About what he's done? And… how I feel? He's… He's changing, I think…"

"Shouto," the purple haired woman asked and he let go of a deep breath, "You already have an answer for that, don't you?"

He… did?

Swallowing, he nodded once again as he looked to the ground.

"I should," he whispered, "I… I can't start over when I stay the same."

"That's not completely true," she got his attention, "You don't have to change the way you are. No one wants you to do that, because you're yourself and even if you're struggling in seeing who you want to become, it's important you're being yourself. But yes, clear your mind, and become the person you've always wanted to become. Take all of the fears, and turn them into strengths."

"But how… How do I do that…?" he closed his eyes as he was shaking his head, "I don't… I don't know who I am. And as soon as I realize that I only start to freeze myself once again. Every time I hurt, I freeze."

"What do you associate with ice?" she asked, laying her clipboard down to her side.

Ice… was his quirk. His mother's quirk.

It was "Comfort," he whispered.

Because his mother's cold arms had always been warmer than any fire his father blasted at him.

"So you freeze yourself to comfort yourself?"

He blinked, confused at how his mind wasn't trying to do anything other than say the obvious answer.

"Yeah."

As soon as he'd spoken that single, small word, he could feel a rock fall off his chest as he suddenly turned so warm he wondered if his fire quirk was overreacting, yet he knew that it wasn't that at the same time.

He was freezing himself because the only warmth he knew was his mother's ice-

But… that wasn't… true.

Momo was warm. And her hugs comforted him so much as well-

There was no need to freeze himself.

Because warmth could be just as comforting as the cold.

"I think…" the woman in front of him said after clearing her voice, "…if you want to, you can bring in Miss Yaoyorozu."

He nodded, smiling at the floor as he interlaced his hands, feeling how warm they were.

It only made him realize how much he'd missed being warm.

"I'll be right back," he smiled, brightly and he didn't even remember when he'd last beamed that bright-

It felt like it'd been forever.

Nervously, Momo bit her lip as she held onto her phone, unable to concentrate on any of the messages on it after she'd texted her mom that he was well and the surgery a success.

She switched in her seat once again as she could hear the clock ticking.

Shouto was in there, and she didn't know if he got help of if he'd hurt as he always was when he told someone about what was bothering him and she just wanted to hold his hand to be sure.

It'd be cold anyway, wouldn't it?

Sighing, annoyed at herself, she shook her head, reopening her eyes to the click of a door as she jumped up, seeing Shouto smile at her.

No.

That wasn't correct.

He was shining. A beautiful ray of sunshine that melted all her worries into the ground without him even saying anything.

"How… How was it?" she stumbled over her words, walking over to him, stumbling over her legs as well as he held her up, meeting her halfway.

And his warm hand let her breathing hitch as she had to suppress the urge to cry happy tears.

She had no idea what'd happened.

She had no idea what'd changed.

She only knew that the happy ending she was dreaming of was right here, in her grasp as she stared into aqua and stone, relishing in the feel of his calloused, warm hand that made her feel so dizzy and clear at the same time-

"I… There's a lot I understand now," Shouto told her and she couldn't do anything against the hopeful tone in his voice that made sure they only thing she truly heard was the vigorous beating of her heart. He put his hand on the door handle, looking at her once again before moving his hand up and slowly putting one strand of hair behind her ear, "You have beautiful eyes."

She-

What?

Why now…?

A soft blush found its way to her cheeks and she thought she was going to overheat soon.

"Thank you," she whispered intelligently, and he smirked at her again, pressing the handle down and opening the door.

The office was nicely lighted even though it was dark outside, the jalousies closed for a sense of privacy while the walls were covered in bookshelves that Momo'd love to look through, yet she knew now wasn't the time for that.

There was a dark wooden desk placed at the side of the room, blue couches standing on the left of it on the carpeted floor. That's when Momo met eyes with the purple haired woman that smiled at her politely, setting her clipboard down on the table next to her before getting up and holding out a hand for her to shake.

"It's nice to meet you, Miss Yaoyorozu," she started, "I'm Dr. Shinsou Mai."

Momo blinked at her, taking the warm hand while her brain seemed to stop working (in case it'd even restarted.)

"It's a pleasure to meet you too," Momo nodded, a polite smile gracing her lips as well even though she knew she must've looked a mess, "Dr. … Shinsou? Do you… Do you know a Shinsou Hitoshi?"

"Oh?" the therapist tilted her head, "That's my nephew. He's going to UA too, I think. You met him?"

"Yes, of course," Momo smiled, "As far as I know he's going to be transferred to the hero course next school year."

"Wait," Shouto then interjected awkwardly, "How did I not notice that?"

"It's okay," the purple haired nodded, "You're here to heal, not to make friends with me," smiling once again, Dr. Shinsou let go of Momo's hand and motioned for them to sit down on the couches.

The first to sit was Shouto, and she wasn't sure how much distance she was supposed to keep between them without it being inappropriate considering the setting they were in.

"Take place wherever," the therapist made sure she'd stop worrying, "Act like I'm not here."

Nodding, Momo looked at her fiancée again, smiling at the way his soft smile reached her once again as she came to a quick and easy conclusion.

She sat down right next to him, only keeping the tiniest bit of space in between them because she really couldn't turn off that they weren't alone, yet she took his hand and held it tight, pulling it over to lay it down on her lap. Her black pants seemed to contrast his way too pale skin as she'd taken fire in her hands without even the tiniest fear of being burned.

"There's a lot of warmth in between you two," the purple haired woman nodded, smiling at them as Momo remembered the contract she'd signed a few minutes prior, and even though she was very interested in how the therapist's quirk worked, there were more important things to attend to, "There's a lot of love."

Smiling at the dual haired boy next to her, Momo nodded as well, locking eyes with aqua and stone.

"I've heard about what happened, and yet you're here and there's almost only love and warmth that I can feel," the woman explained, looking back and forth between the both of them before locking eyes with the raven haired girl.

"Almost only?" she whispered, "What else can you feel?"

"Fear," was the only word the therapist said, making Momo blink as she held onto the hand in front of her even tighter. Shouto quietly whispered her name, yet she couldn't look up at him as she felt that lump in her throat once again.

Words that needed to be spoken.

"You love him. Yet you're afraid. You're clutching his hand as if you think he's going to disappear any second," the therapist noted calmly, yet her eyes looked worried.

"I… I'm scared, sometimes" she admitted, looking at their joined hands.

"What of?" he asked, his voice nothing more than a broken whisper, "Your dreams?"

"No, yes, maybe," she nodded as she smiled at him, "Nightmares, of what happened. Memories, of what went wrong. I'm… I couldn't…" she exhaled a shaky breath, "You stopped breathing when I held you in my arms and… and I'm so scared of this happening again – We… We hugged, we kissed, you let me break through that barrier that'd kept yourself protected and then after we really make love, you run away and break my heart and almost die in my arms-"

He wrapped his arms around her, then.

"I'm an idiot," he repeated, "I'm such an idiot. I should've- Of course this is traumatic, of course it is, what did I even think?" she faintly felt him move, interpreting it as shaking his head as she tried to keep the tears from flowing.

She could feel that he was shaking. He was breaking once again.

She didn't want to be the cause of him hurting.

Pulling away, she tried to stifle her cries while he held her close and she stopped struggling after a split second as she relished in the feeling of the warmth he was enveloping her with.

Yes, he was warm.

That's how it was always supposed to be.

"In…" she started, taking deep breaths to clam herself enough to form full sentences, "In my dreams, you were wandering in a snowfield, nothing more but a silhouette in the distance."

The time before they'd met in front of school that summer night.

"I ran to you and I was fine because the cold couldn't hurt me," she bit her lip as she pulled away a little, cupping his cheeks with her hands as she made sure that he looked at her, "And even though everything told me that I shouldn't take this hand, I did."

The time she'd agreed to the contract their parents had made so long ago.

"That's when I saw you, that's when you finally gained detail and I realized that it was you," she nodded, "It was you, finally showing yourself to me as the hand I held was warm."

The time she slowly fell in love with him, all of their little mishaps teaching her more about what he'd been hiding for so long.

"But the hand turned warmer and warmer until I burned myself and had to pull mine away," she closed her eyes to stop the burning in her eyes before she looked up to see his shocked, widened eyes.

The time he'd accidentally burned her.

"The world around us burned, blue and all of the flowers turned to ashes and there was only one sentence I now remember you said before it all went wrong," she took a deep breath, "I guess I'm a trophy father's trophy son, you said," a hiccup interrupted her, "before turning to dust in a burning world."

The time she'd caught up to him, talking to him in the subway station.

He blinked, and she could witness tears trailing down his cheeks as well.

"In one version of this dream," she whispered, "I couldn't hold on to you and you faded away."

The time he could've died at Dabi's hands.

"But in the other one…" nodding, she gently wiped the tears away from his cheeks, looking at him and hoping her gaze delivered all of the warmth and love she wanted it to, "… I retook your hand and witnessed how you turned towards me again, the silhouette gaining in detail instead of fading away until I could see everything, knowing I'd saved you."

The time he'd lived.

"I know this may sound weird," she whispered, shaking her head, "But I thank these horrid dreams for warning me, yet I hate them at the same time because they always made me cling to you in fear. I knew that I'd lose you, but I didn't care. I just… I just loved you all I could, because I knew one day I'd lose this fight. I couldn't hold onto you, even though it was the one thing I'd always sworn myself to do. I lost you because I tried too hard to keep you."

"Momo," his voice broke, "You've… always… seen it end?"

"Yes," she nodded, smiling at him slightly.

"And still… you're here," he whispered, looking to his right, his gaze unfocused as she slowly let go of his cheeks.

"Of course I am," she bit her lower lip to suppress her smile a little, knowing that it didn't work, "And do you know why that is?"

He let go of a long, shaky breath before he looked at his therapist who only smiled at him before she nodded and he turned towards Momo again.

"Because you love me."

It wasn't said like a question, yet she felt the need to answer anyway.

"Yes, I do," she looked at his hands before taking both of them, squeezing them tightly as she slowly traced circles on the back of them.

It was the truth.

Those dreams had hurt her. Had hurt her so, so long.

But it didn't matter, because she loved him, and he was right here, and he was warm.

"I love you too," his voice broke and when she locked eyes with him again, she saw the worry, the fear and yet also the warmth and love in them that she'd missed for so, so long-

"I know," she whispered with a soft smile gracing her lips.

"I won't… I won't run away anymore," he bit his lower lip as he made sure to keep eye contact with her, "I… I know what's wrong. And I… I think I know how to fix it," he took a deep breath, "I won't let your nightmares come true, Momo."

He gripped her hands tightly, putting them together before he pulled them to up his mouth, pressing a soft kiss on her knuckles.

The touch was so innocent, yet… her heart melted as she nodded, looking into aqua and stone eyes that had made her fall in love with him so long ago she couldn't even point out a point in time where that could've happened.

And she fell for him once again.

She slowly exhaled the breath she'd been holding ever since he'd disappeared from training after she'd gotten hurt. It felt so long ago, and she'd never… She'd never felt so free.

So happy.

She must've been beaming as she closed her eyes, nodding at him and holding onto his hands just as much as he was to hers.

"You can work this out," Dr. Shinsou said, smiling at them, "The love between you is strong. Way stronger than any of the fears I've felt in you earlier, Shouto. Of course this love was fueling the fear… and… this fear may never go away," the therapist said, "Not fully. That's just a part of your story, a part of your relationship and love. It's just important that you work with it instead of ignoring it until it goes wrong. And you'll see, it will get better, with time. You're still young, and this formed who you are as a couple. Don't let this fear define you. Use it as a source for your strength, because I know you'll be strong," she paused, looking at both of them, "You made it through this. You're sitting here, holding each other after talking about the incident. You're willing to make it, and there's no reason for you to fail."

Momo nodded, beaming brightly at her before she turned towards Shouto.

"We can do this," he whispered, nodding slowly as he set down her hands.

"Together, we can heal," she replied, her voice nothing more than a breath of air as she knew her heart was soaring.

It was beating so loud she could only hear her own pulse in her ear as she looked at him, really looked at him and her mind fixated on exactly one thing.

She really wanted to kiss him.

"Just do it, I don't care," the therapist said, and Momo's head snapped towards the purple haired woman who'd taken out her clipboard once again, diligently writing on it as a little smirked played on her lips.

"W-" Momo started, yet she knew that it had something to do with the woman's quirk that let her sense certain emotions in the people she met. Shouto squeezed her hands tightly, setting them down slowly.

"Earlier," Dr. Shinsou started when she realized that Momo indeed wasn't going to kiss her fiancée right now as the situation had somehow turned a little awkward, "You said you made love."

The raven haired girl blinked quickly, remembering that she did indeed say that and a deep blush found its way back to her cheeks as she fiddled with her hands, "Well-"

"Does that mean the hierarchy of fear was successful, Shouto?" the therapist asked calmly, her smirk having turned polite once again as she looked at the dual haired boy.

The hero-in-training cleared his voice before answering, "Yeah."

Momo noticed the slight tint of red on his pale cheeks as eyes of aqua and stone locked with hers. There was a question in his eyes she didn't understand. He looked unsure, suddenly. But why? Was it… because of that? They'd already talked about the meaning of… what they had. And that is was okay. Yet… something wasn't totally right, was it?

Clearing her voice herself, Momo looked at the therapist once again, ignoring her sudden nervousness at asking a question like… this.

"Do you…" she started, biting her lower lip, "… think we can just… move on from where we left off?"

"What…What if I'm suddenly afraid again?" Shouto asked quietly, voice almost not audible as Momo blinked in understanding.

So that's… what he was worried about.

"That depends," the woman smiled, looking back and forth between them, "It's completely your own decision to be as close as you were or take things slow. This… It won't just pass you by, so… find your way to each other again and you'll know when the time is right. Additionally, I think it'd be a good idea to go through signs of panic attacks and breathing techniques, just to be sure."

Momo nodded slowly, holding onto the hand next to her own.

"This… This won't be our end," she whispered, her voice breaking slightly as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Yeah," he agreed, smiling at her warmly as the uncertainty and fear in his eyes disappeared, "This will be our beginning."

Fate had put them together so long ago.

Maybe fate had also ripped them apart.

It didn't matter, she supposed.

They'd take matters into their own hands now.

The time they finally, truly loved.

They say it's gonna be okay
but it doesn't take away
it doesn't take away the pain
but we don't have to be afraid

'cause I don't think it's an accident that tears are shaped like seeds
so I'll bury all my fears and trust they're turning into trees

oh I'm fighting to believe
This is not the end of the story

Tragedy Is Not the End – Joel Ansett

"It's been a while, Endeavor," the black haired man said mockingly, a bright smile on his face as he leaned back in the chair his legs were confined to as the handcuffs held his hands by the table.

The person in front of him seemed to be nothing but a shadow of the scary creature he'd remembered from his younger years.

Flames turned off, just a slight red beard on his face, the man stood there quietly.

It'd been a time this color had reminded him of sunsets, when he was a little kid, not older than three years as his mother had cradled him in her arms to protect him from the shadows this world hadn't shown him yet.

As he got older, the sunset turned to fire as he looked into his own reflection in the mirror, noticing the same flaming red hair his father'd always sported.

Only after he'd died, the fire turned to blood.

And he'd sought blood ever since.

Until he understood that it was wrong.

"Touya," the older man replied, worry and uncried tears in his eyes that almost made him laugh as it made no sense to him.

For him to apologize? Who was he? A good father?

Never.

"Yeah," he spat, "That was my name."

"I need to apologize," his father whispered, "Everything I did led to this place, so I don't see a reason for you to forgive me, yet… there are things I need to say."

"Apologize?" he laughed, so loud he regretted his choice, feeling his old wounds opening once again, "What the heck?"

He stopped laughing quickly, looking to the side as there was nothing he could actually say to that.

"I'm sorry, Touya," Endeavor whispered and Dabi let go of a long, shaky breath.

These words… were way too late.

He was beyond salvation.

There was nothing anyone could do.

"If you're sorry, Todoroki Enji," he whispered, "Then tell me."

Taking a deep breath, he looked back at his father, at the man that'd made him the disfigured creature he was now.

The freaky failure of a man that wanted to be number one.

Beaten and bruised, scared and alone were the only things he were all his childhood.

"What?" the red haired man replied out of breath.

Blue oceans met, their waves crashing in a battle so strong it took him a while to find his speech.

When he did, he asked the simplest, yet also hardest question he'd ever expected to speak out loud.

Because he didn't know the answer.

"What do you do when your child is crying, father?"

There's nothing to do for him.

Yet, for someone else…

Maybe.

Notes:

What do you think of good old Shinsou's aunt?
And her advice for our two lovebirds that finally got a big yes?
And Momo finally telling Shouto about the dreams content? Which I also finally explained?
And a tiny glimpse of Dabi and Endeavor?

Please give the audiobook and Captain Rose a lot of love!

Feel free to leave me a comment and/or yell at me on tumblr (which is now officially working again)! :)

Have a beautiful day, everyone!

Chapter 35: Father and Son

Summary:

Father and Son - Cat Stephens

A talk has to be held for both father and son to find closure in the past.

The future's never been as close as today.

Notes:

OH MY GOD, we did it! We reached the 1k Kudos and I'm literally crying, oh lord, I can't deal with all of the love this story is receiving-

Like I promised, I started the Discord server, and if you want to join, you can do so here

Yet, first of all, here's the new chapter. It made me cry while writing it, and it's the first chapter that's title is not a line from a song, but a song title iteself and why that is... I'm pretty sure you'll see right from the start.

I hope you'll enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It's not time to make a change
Just relax, take it easy
You're still young, that's your fault
There's so much you have to know

"What do you do when your child is crying, father?"

His son's words reverberated in his ears as he sat at his desk, staring at the black felt pen that had his hero name engraved into it. Rolling it between his fingers, he exhaled a long breath, trembling as he let go of the storm raging behind his eyes. Blue orbs set sight on the obsidian lacquer on a pen that felt so tiny in his hand.

Huffing, he looked away, pressing it into the desk with too much force. He couldn't seem to breathe as he swallowed, closing his eyes so he could somehow ignore the world around him.

It didn't work, as expected.

There was no answer he could give to a question so simple, so normal for everyone but him. He was the worst. The worst father, the worst husband and he bit his lip painfully as he realized that maybe he was also the worst person possible. Shaking his head, he buried his hands in his hair before he opened his eyes to see that nothing had changed.

The room was almost dark, the jalousies closed as he leaned back in his chair, looking at the pen he'd broken.

Pathetically, he laughed as he saw that it shattered right where his hero name was supposed to be.

'Endeavor,' it had always been.

And he'd been on an endeavor to become number one.

Like the jealous moron he'd always been.

Maybe it was time to rip it all apart.

Swallowing hard, he stood, knocking down the desk chair in the process. He didn't care.

He'd messed up enough.

One son no longer truly alive, the blue eyes looking lifeless. One running away from the place he was supposed to call home to save people because no one had saved them. One daughter afraid and nervous all day as she trembled and fidgeted.

And the youngest son, lying in a hospital bed, almost having died if it wasn't for the raven haired girl he'd picked as the boy's fiancée when they were still too young to even understand the meaning of their decision.

They were too young to even remember that the ones who'd said yes… were them.

That didn't make it any less his fault.

There was only one question that'd answered itself as Enji stared at the picture of himself in his hero costume behind him, the man looking proud and strong and petty at the same time. Beard flaming, arms crossed with a gaze that could've killed a thousand villains.

Now he was just standing here, biting his lip as he awkwardly tapped on his desk, coming to a conclusion that might change it all.

He closed his eyes, knowing he certainly wasn't that man on the picture.

Did he even deserve to call himself a hero?

He wasn't a hero.

Never had been.

He was just a monster.

And this world would be better off if he stepped back.

Find a girl, settle down
If you want, you can marry
Look at me
I am old, but I'm happy

"You're really okay with this?" Momo asked him, pushing him back into the pillows as the nurse checked his vitals and temperature once again, "I can… I can stay here with you."

"Momo," Shouto replied, looking at her with a determination, a fire in his eyes that let her heart run wild, "This is something I need to do alone. It's enough that Aizawa's going to stay in here."

She gently boxed his shoulder, earning herself a lopsided smile before she scolded him, "Don't be so disrespectful. Mr. Aizawa did all he could to keep you in the hero course, and he wants to help you."

"By staying in here when I talk to my old man?" he snorted in disbelief, "I don't think anyone can help with that."

Letting go a long, exasperated sigh, she looked at him, realizing that he had his head turned away from her as he stared into the distance.

She watched him for a little while as he bit his lip, his mind at a place far away even though his hand was interlaced with hers. The morning sun let beautiful shadows dance over his skin as the specks of light reflected in the silky strands she'd always loved burying her hands in.

He was here… and still he was far away.

That's how it'd always been.

Crossing the distance between them, she slowly, gently pressed a kiss to his cheek, feeling the soft and warm skin underneath her own. She would never be able to express how happy something as simple as the warmth radiating from his body took her to heights she hadn't dared to dream about after all that happened.

Blinking a few times, he turned his head towards her when she pulled away. Huffing, she shook her head, feeling her dark strands whirl back and forth, yet she put them behind her ear right away.

Her onyx eyes locked with the sapphire specks of ocean blue and glowing silver of swords centuries old.

He gently squeezed her hand, carefully tracing her knuckles with his thumb as they did nothing but stare.

It was as if she could look right into his soul. She knew it was the same for him.

There was not a word spoken, but after thinking about it Momo knew there was no combination of letters that could ever express what she felt in that moment as her heart wanted to jump out of her chest. Her hands seemed so sweaty, she herself so nervous underneath his gaze and yet there was nothing but love between them.

Yet, Momo thought, love would never be enough to describe what she felt for him.

She smiled.

And he did too.

I was once like you are now
And I know that it's not easy
To be calm when you've found
Something going on

"You really want this?" Aizawa asked him calmly as he sat down on the chair in front of the window, clad in black and with his hair tied back messily. The tired look in his eyes, together with the bags underneath them showed Shouto that the man hadn't really slept once again.

Not that this was an unusual occurrence, yet… Shouto hoped that the lack of sleep wasn't because of him.

"You're not the first one asking me that today," he replied absentminded before looking at the dark haired teacher in front of him. Shouto'd taken place on the bed, the back of it put into a position in which he was almost sitting straight. He leant into the soft pillows Momo'd neatly placed there before she left, holding onto his hand for as long as she could before she was too far away.

They were different. That was all he knew. But he… But he didn't see a bad thing it it. Not at all. They were closer, somehow. He couldn't understand how that was possible when all they did was talk.

"Still, I need to ask you again," his teacher nodded slowly, "Do you really want to talk to your father?"

"It's not about whether or not I want to," the dual haired hero-in-training exclaimed, "I have to. I need to get some sort of…" What had Momo said again? "…closure with it."

"Do you want to give him another chance?"

Swallowing, Shouto looked away, his thoughts stumbling over themselves in a manner of yes – no – maybe – yes – no – it depends –

He took a deep breath.

"I don't know yet," he whispered, locking eyes with those of his teacher, "That's why I have to talk to him. I can't… I can't decide my future if the past is weighing me down like this."

The black haired teacher grumbled under his breath as he looked off to the side, his eyes slightly hooded as the gesture seemed defensive and caring at the same time, "It's good you think like this, but I don't want you to get hurt, Todoroki," Aizawa inhaled slowly, shakily before he looked back at the dual haired boy, "Not again."

For a moment Shouto struggled with his ability to breathe before he inhaled sharply, his teacher's worries letting his heart constrict as he understood something else once again.

There were so many people that cared about him.

And yet he'd been the idiot to run away.

He set his left hand down on his chest, suddenly feeling the way his scar curved on his back, the prickling letting him swallow heavily before he let go of the breath he'd been holding.

In his mind he started to count down from ten, only concentrating on the way his heartbeat slowed again from the painful feeling of panic that he knew always lingered somewhere in the back of his mind.

And when he opened his eyes again, the 'one' on the tip of his tongue, he felt proud of himself.

There was no ice, there was no frost.

The only thing he felt was warmth.

"I'll live," he grinned, his heart leaping as he realized he'd calmed down by himself and without anyone's help and even though no one would ever know about it, he couldn't stop the sudden feeling of success flooding his veins, "I'll throw him out if it's too much."

His teacher grumbled once again, and Shouto almost flinched under the analyzing gaze before the black haired man let go of a long sign.

"Anyway. I'll be here, just in case," Aizawa leaned back into the chair with a quick approving nod, "Present Mic is substituting homeroom for me today. It was difficult enough to keep Midoriya at school after he didn't get a chance to talk to you yesterday. If everything goes well, you'll get discharged in the afternoon, won't you?"

"Yeah," Shouto nodded, being thankful for Momo having stayed another night even though he'd tried to convince her to go back to school today and that he'd be able to do this alone. As vice class representative, she shouldn't have to miss class and risk her grades because of him.

It's not like she'd listen to him anyway.

He couldn't be mad at her for this. She was the smart one after all, and he was nothing but thankful that she stayed by his side even when he tried to do it alone.

Slowly, he started to understand that just because he could shoulder the weight of the world… it didn't mean that he had to, nor that he should.

"I'll go home today," the dual haired boy added quieter. The picture his mind connected to this single world was blurry, unfocused, and the only thing clear about it was a raven haired girl that was waiting outside.

It didn't matter what this conversation was going to end up like.

Even if his hands were shaking and his heart breaking –

There was someone waiting for him.

But take your time, think a lot
Why, think of everything you've got
For you will still be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not

Entering a hospital had never been as scary as today, Enji realized the moment he'd stepped onto the porch, standing in front of a pair of glass doors.

"He wants to speak to you," his son's teacher's words repeated in his mind as he didn't understand, not believing in them fully.

Why… Why would he even want to give him a chance to explain?

It didn't make sense.

He didn't deserve that chance.

But if it's really, really what his son wanted he wouldn't stop him.

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket once again, he looked at the screen to notice the twenty-seven missed calls he had from his fellow hero Hawks. Huffing, he shook his head, grip on the fragile object in his hand tightening before he pressed the button and turned it off.

His decision was final. There was nothing that could stop him.

Putting the phone back into his pocket, Enji let go of another deep breath before pushing the door open.

He knew which room his son was in, the message crystal clear in his mind as he lifted his hand to press the elevator button as he realized which unit it was.

Surgery, Stationary and Intensive Care.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he pressed the simple, little round button with a two on it that would inevitably make him face the consequences of the actions he'd kept up for so many years-

It was about time, wasn't it?

Time that he really faced what he'd done.

The elevator signaled the arrival on the right floor, startling him out of his thoughts as the doors opened, and he looked at the signs again, just to make sure he was on the right floor.

Shakily letting go of the breath he'd been holding, he knew there was no way he was on the wrong one as he identified the black haired girl he'd come to know as the girl that'd stolen his son's heart.

It wasn't theft, that much he was sure of, when the children he'd forced into this arrangement gifted each other love in every glance they exchanged.

It was irony that they'd love where the generation before them messed it all up.

Taking another deep breath, he tried to get over the hurdle in his chest that tried to keep him from speaking to her when he knew he was the reason for this whole mess, "Yaoyorozu."

"Oh!" she jumped up from where she'd been sitting on a chair at the side of the hallway, quickly putting the massive book she'd been reading to the side as she brushed out her skirt before walking over to him, "Mister Endeavor, you're here! I'm sorry, I should've noticed right away but I was so entranced by-"

"It's okay," he quickly interrupted her, shaking his head before looking at dark eyes once again.

She seemed so small.

They were just children.

He didn't understand the way her eyes seemed to take him apart, judging and waging every move he made while there was also a warmth in the eternal darkness that he couldn't fully grasp.

"Please," she started, a slight smile gracing her as he finally recognized the sadness that was so obviously written all over her face as she fiddled with her hands. "Please don't hurt him again," she pleaded, voice soft and on the verge of breaking, "Please don't disappoint him again."

He understood.

She knew everything.

And he couldn't stop himself from noticing the underlying warning in the hero-in-training's words.

"I'll… I'll try," was all he could muster, knowing that his promises were worthless.

"Good," she nodded, the smile disappearing as her gaze turned as hard as stone, "If you do…" and he'd never expected what she said next, "… he'll break."

He may not have expected her words.

He knew them to be true either way.

How can I try to explain?
'Cause when I do, he turns away again
It's always been the same
Same old story

Nervously, Shouto tucked on the sleeve of his dark sweater, the motion keeping his mind off the fact that the man he'd despised all his life was going to enter this room to talk to him-

Would this really… Would this really change anything?

It couldn't change the past, he knew that, and it was never supposed to… So… why was he doing this again?

Right.

Closing his eyes, Shouto nodded determinedly. He had to get some sort of closure with this. Speak the depths of his mind out loud, as it'd been the one thing that'd helped him with Momo as well-

Sitting cross-legged, he leaned into the pillows behind his back, concentrating to trace the weird and sensitive feeling of the skin that'd been transplanted into his body.

Another scar that'd remind him of his failures until the end of time.

It was quiet in the room as Aizawa'd leaned back in the chair, looking barely awake.

Ruffling his hair, he pulled at the collar of his turtleneck, the motion competely subconscious as all he wanted to do was breathe.

He was not ready.

Not really.

But this had to be done.

It was going to be okay. He could do this.

A knock on the door startled him, realizing how out of breath he actually was. Searching his now awake teacher's eyes for approval, Shouto let go of the fabric around his neck.

"May…" a deep, way too familiar voice resounded through the door, sending chills down Shouto's spine while the same few words kept repeating in his mind, "May I come in?"

I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm not ready, "Yeah."

Shouto did not recognize the man that entered the room. He knew it was his father, yet-

Nothing was how he remembered it to be.

There was no intrigue, no fear or resentment or anything. He was just… numb, to the presence of the man that'd made his life hell from the moment he'd developed his quirk in a summer night many years ago.

The fire had been his first fear, the fire had been his first agony-

Now the flames were extinguished.

Red hair, that reminded him of his own, blue eyes that looked so clouded over and set on the floor as his father hadn't met his eyes for longer than a split second.

How… How could he…?

What was this… supposed to mean?

And then he said the words Shouto'd always needed to hear, the words he'd never expected to hear and the words it was way, way too late for-

"I'm sorry, Shouto."

From the moment I could talk
I was ordered to listen
Now there's a way, and I know
That I have to go away
I know I have to go

Suppressing his laughter, Shouto couldn't stop himself from the quiet chuckles leaving his lips as he shook his head in disbelief.

Just-

What-

"Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?" he held a hand in front of his mouth to stop the sob that he felt creeping up in his chest.

It just hurt as Shouto blinked the tears in the corners of his eyes away.

How was it that he was on the verge of crying because of something like this? This was not like him. This was not like the man that'd tortured him ever since he could remember, nothing like the monster in his memories-

He looked like nothing more but a wounded dog, scared and without any idea of what's going to happen next.

Taking a moment to calm down, Shouto swallowed around the lump in his throat before he took his hand away from his mouth. He couldn't stop himself from shaking his head once again as he didn't understand what was happening. This didn't make sense. Was he dreaming? Was he just imagining all of this?

"I know you won't accept the apology, but… I need to say it, because it's true. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you," the man he didn't recognize said, slowly looking up before meeting his son's eyes before his widened slightly.

Shouto huffed, yet it turned into a cough the next second as he just stared back.

He… He didn't know… He didn't know shit about what he'd done.

"Are you, really?" the dual haired hero-in-training's voice broke as he finally tried to fully speak, "Then tell me. What have you done?"

The red haired man stood there, clad in black as he lost eye contact once again, seemingly so small even though Shouto knew the man could reach the ceiling without difficulty if he wanted to.

"I…" his father gulped audibly, "I trained you when you were way too young. I… took your mother away when she… you know. I isolated and tried to force you into a role you didn't necessarily want to play."

The older Todoroki nodded slowly, "I put you into an arranged marriage to get a powerful quirk for the family, and I… I never considered your say in any of it. And I… I see that it was wrong, now."

Funny, Shouto thought.

The one thing that hurt him most wasn't even there.

"You-" he choked on his words, clearing his voice before letting go of another breath as he blinked to keep his eyesight from turning this damn blurry, "You don't get it. You don't get it at all."

His father's furrowed eyebrows showed him that he really didn't- That he really didn't know and understand anything-

"What do I… not get?"

Desperately, Shouto laughed, ruffling his hair to get it out of his face.

"Yeah, you trained me," he bit his lip before just… said it out loud, for once, "Yeah, you forced me into an arranged marriage, you forced me to become the hero you could never become. Yeah, you isolated me and hit and broke my mother until she poured boiling water over my face," he punctuated it especially carefully, "Just think… Just think about what that did to me. Try it, for once. It's always about your reasons for doing all of that fucked up shit, but how about thinking about how I feel?"

Shouto sat up more, angling his legs in front of him as he knew that he looked even more protective of himself but he couldn't help himself.

"Yeah, it's true," he filled the silence the non-existent response of his father caused, "I have feelings and I thought we'd established that at the Yaoyorozu mansion."

"You hate me."

The dual haired teen laughed.

This man had no fucking clue.

"I don't hate you."

"Then-"

"How would you feel…" Shouto started, staring at his hands as he kept biting on his lips, trying to keep his fire quirk in check as he knew he was getting angry once again, "… if your mother stared at you with fear in her eyes? Before scarring you for life so the only thing you ever see when you look in the mirror is the reflection of a damn monster?"

He couldn't do it anymore.

Staring at the window, he concentrated fully on suppressing his tears.

His father couldn't see him cry.

He'd get angry for sure. No matter how he was now.

No matter how much he said he was going to change, he was still the same man that'd done all of this, that'd caused all of this mess that he was in and that'd endangered Momo-

"You hurt her, didn't you?"

Shouto nodded, quickly, getting it over with as he could feel his hands shake. He just wanted them to stop.

He just wanted to-

No.

He couldn't freeze himself. He couldn't show this weakness, he couldn't get himself in danger like this, not when he'd just made it through another surgery-

"You don't hate me. You hate yourself."

Of course the answer was another nod as Shouto blinked at the ceiling while letting go of a long breath before he looked back at the blue eyed man still standing a foot away from the door.

He knew he shouldn't say it.

He knew he shouldn't admit to it.

Not in front of him… but…

"Sometimes, I really want to die."

It's not time to make a change
Just sit down, take it slowly
You're still young, that's your fault
There's so much you have to go through

He was a monster.

Nothing but a monster.

"You-" he took a deep breath, looking at his son that looked so… so incredibly sad and hurt and he knew it was all because of him, "You want to die?"

"Sometimes, yeah," the dual-quirked child nodded slowly, closing his eyes in the process before quickly blinking, trying to hide the fact that he was on the verge of tears and yet Enji wasn't one to judge him as he was holding on to that last thread of composure he could grasp, "I was diagnosed with depression, so… I guess that's normal."

He was-…?

Of course he was.

"You're sick," he noted quietly.

Enji had done this.

He was the reason for all of this.

"Yeah," his son nodded, holding one hand up to cover his mouth as he pulled his legs to his chest, "'guess I'm a broken tool for the broken dreams of a broken man."

That's not- That's not what he meant-

"I made you," his son flinched at his words and he knew they were wrong right away, yet he needed to say this, now, because he'd never get another chance to do so, "I made you, I broke you and then left you to die."

The dual haired let go of a long breath.

This child was supposed to be his masterpiece.

But this… this had been doomed to fail from the beginning.

Because children weren't 'masterpieces' or any kind of 'piece.'

They were prizes, treasures so wondrous Enji'd never understood their worth.

It wasn't measured in rankings, numbers and fans-

It was measured in the life they got to live and the love they got to give.

And he taught them nothing but pain.

They were the future.

And yet he didn't give them one.

"Well, if it's like that, how am I gonna die?" his son's words from so long ago echoed in his mind-

Had he… Had he really had a plan for that, back then?

Enji couldn't remember, it'd been so long and so many things happened, yet there was nothing he could do to make all of this okay.

He could only pay for it.

"I'm going to turn myself in," he whispered, knowing his son heard him as his head shot up so he could stare at him with his dual colored eyes widened, the scar so prominent even though it was mostly covered by hair, "I'm going to step back as the number one hero, and I'm going to turn myself in for domestic and child abuse."

Because that's what he deserved.

It would never make anything okay.

Yet it was the only thing he knew he had to do.

Find a girl, settle down
If you want, you can marry
Look at me
I am old, but I'm happy

Faintly, he could hear his teacher gasp at the number one hero's words as Shouto couldn't… couldn't comprehend his father's words.

This… This mess- This is not what he wanted-

"Wha-" he shook his head, trying to get a grip of the world around him as everything turned blurry and he fought with the salty rivers wanting to run down his cheeks.

How could he-

This man just wanted to run away?

Wanted to leave him alone with the knowledge that the number one hero had to step down because of him-

"I can't make anything right, I know that," his father nodded, "There's no way you'll ever forgive me for the way I treated and neglected you and-" he interrupted himself, "And the love I never gave you. I can't… turn back the time, that's not my quirk, as you well know. There's too much I messed up for there to be any kind of redemption, and… I have to go away. I have to leave for you to get better."

Shouto gasped, trying to somehow catch his breath as he felt himself get cold once again, yet the feeling disappeared a moment later as he could see the glow of his teacher's eyes, knowing that his quirk was deactivated.

Those words…

He didn't-

Why was it the same as the things he thought before he ran away from Momo?

He couldn't just run away from his problems.

This-

"Why?" Shouto shook his head, somehow trying to hold onto every sane strap in his head as he went so dizzy he wished he could just pass out and get it all over with but he couldn't, "Are you really such a coward?!"

"What-" his father's eyebrows furrowed, "If I step back, you can be free-"

"I don't want to be FREE!" Shouto yelled, feeling his chest constrict at the outburst as his voice cracked and turned to nothing more than a tiny speck of dust in this storm of a world, "I just want to be happy."

He bit onto his hand, knowing it'd leave indents for a while, yet he had to do something to keep himself from fully breaking down-

"I just want to feel loved, dad."

And then he turned into one weeping, crying mess.

All the times that I've cried
Keeping all the things I knew inside
It's hard
But it's harder to ignore it

Burying his face in his hands, Shouto folded in on himself as the tears overflowed and the sobs rippled through his chest.

He couldn't… He just couldn't calm down.

It just hurt right where his heart was supposed to be.

The truth hit him like a truck, pushing him over the edge as he couldn't hold onto himself any longer.

Hiccups interrupted his breathing as he tried to get himself together and make sense of this situation, to apologize for crying and hoping he wouldn't get punished-

That's when he felt a shadow, way too close to him, making him look up to see his father with outstretched arms, and the moment he tried to come closer, Shouto pushed him away. The motion was helpless, the man was like a statue, hard and unmoving.

"Don't touch me," he tried to yell, yet he knew his voice wasn't more than a broken whisper, if it was even audible at all, "You can't- You can't step back- You're the number one hero."

His father was the number one hero.

His father was a hero.

He was not to him, he was nothing to him, nothing but a ghost inside his mind, and yet-

There were so many people that called him a hero, so many people that needed him and he didn't have the right to destroy this-

Shouto knew what came next for crying.

And yet-

The hit never came.

Strong, bulky arms slowly snaked around his shoulders, and Shouto couldn't stop himself from trying to push him away, hitting the man twice his size with his weak fists as he couldn't even muster the strength to build coherent, full sentences.

"Don't-" a sniff interrupted him before he hiccuped once again, "Don't leave."

Don't run away.

Face your demons.

"You don't… You don't want me to step back?" his father's voice sounded strangled as Shouto slowly gave up fighting back, feeling the warmth radiating from the man he'd always known to be so cold to him that-

His mother's cold arms were warmer than any fire his father blasted at him to make him stronger.

But why… Why was it so warm, now?

Shouto struggled, nodding to his father's question as he didn't dare to look up at the man that'd made his life hell, the man that'd made his whole existence hell and still he couldn't hate him-

"Please… don't… push me away," he sobbed. Not like his siblings, he didn't want to be discarded because his father finally reached first place all on his own-

He didn't want to be discarded like the brother that'd burned himself and turned into a villain-

He just wanted-

Swallowing, he gave up his protest, feeling his body go slack as he rested his head against a giant, warm oven of a chest as his father let go of a long, shaky breath, holding the back of his head as he pulled him close.

And Shouto cried.

He clawed onto the man in front of him, and he let go.

He let go of all of the hate and resentment he harbored for himself-

All of the pent up emotions of fear and anger he connected to his father washed away with the rivers dripping from his eyes.

This didn't make it alright.

It'd never be alright.

But maybe it could be okay, one day.

Because…

At that moment, Enji understood.

He finally found the answer to a question everything he'd done spoke against, yet… there was only so much he could do.

"What do you do when your child is crying, father?"

You hold them tight.

He'd knocked this child of glass to the ground, again and again.

And he'd taught him nothing but pain.

Maybe… and he knew he didn't deserve it - he'd get the chance to show him something other than hate and jealousy and what it was like to be afraid –

Maybe he'd get the chance to show him a tiny little bit of love.

Because…

If they were right, I'd agree
But it's them they know, not me
Now there's a way, and I know
That I have to go away
I know I have to go

Because in the end, all they wanted to be was loved.

Notes:

So... what do you say? What do you think about the talk, finally, after 35 chapters of unwillingness?

Feel free to yell at me in the comments here, on tumblr and/or now on the discord server!

The server's not just to talk about the story, but a lot for me to get to know you readers and also make sure there's a nice and cozy little place to hang out ^-^!

Thank you very much, you all rock, have a wonderful day!

Chapter 36: By the river I walk and wander on, I'm a warrior on a journey home

Summary:

Ghost in the Rain - Beast in Black

The calm after the storm, a way back home, and a family bigger than just made of blood.

Notes:

Heyyo, I'm here with a new chapter!

First of all, I can't even freaking believe all of the love and the storm the last chapter caused, but I'm SO happy it did, it's like... definitely one of the most important chapters that everything built up for and... I'm just so happy *cries*

Here is the new chapter, with way, way less angst, this time! ^.^

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Okay, we need to make sure everything is fantabulous," Mina whispered determinedly, her gaze wandering over the common room. From the nicely laid table, plates and cutlery that was more or less neatly placed (about as much as it could if you let someone like Kaminari and Kirishima handle it) to the 'welcome back' sign that hung from the ceiling between living room and kitchen. Hagakure and she had spent most of their afternoon to paint little snowflakes and flames on it to make it more personal while Sero had used his tape to make sure it wouldn't fall.

It was bad enough that their classmate had been confined to a hospital bed all weekend, leaving them no room but to worry about what had happened.

When the news reported Dabi's arrest, the answer was clear.

"I can't believe they caught a member of the league, that's some pretty awesome shit," Kaminari laughed while folding paper napkins, turning thoughtful the next second as he stopped in his motions, "Jirou, you did speak to Yaomomo, didn't you? What happened?"

The purple haired hero-in-training looked up from where she was looking through her phone, having gotten the task to put together a nice playlist for the evening. Her lips where neatly pulled into a tight line before she nodded hesitantly. Laying down her phone on the table, she crossed her legs before leaning back and letting go of a long sigh, "It's a long story. I don't think I'm the one supposed to tell it, but the general gist is that todomomo argued unnecessarily and the ice-prince got himself in real danger. They're fine, though, as far as I know."

Mina nodded slowly, working through the information she'd just obtained by overhearing their conversation. Well, it wasn't eavesdropping when they talked right next to her at a completely normal volume, was it?

"I'm glad," the honey-blonde teen nodded, going back to refolding the napkin he'd just messed up, "It would've been terrible if our signature class couple broke up because of a single argument. That… That would absolutely ruin my belief in true love."

"You believe in true love?" Jirou's eyes widened before she took a small batch of napkins as well, absentmindedly folding them into triangles. Mina couldn't help but notice how stressed out she looked, the nervousness practically vibrating her being as her jacks nervously curled around themselves.

Biting her lip, the pink haired knew she had to be quiet to find out the answer to the banter of that potential couple she'd had in mind ever since she heard about that hostage situation at USJ so long ago.

"Is that… Is that childish?" the electric hero-in-training asked, voice quieter, while a soft pink hue found its way onto his cheeks.

Mina looked back to her purple haired friend, seeing her jacks stop in their motions before her nose turned bright red as she hid her face behind her hand.

Oh.

Oh.

Mina smirked.

"It's… Of course it's childish!" Jirou poked the boy from the distance before she started to stammer, "But… I… I'd be… yeah… I'd be happy to…"

That was when the pink haired hero-in-training knew she really wasn't supposed to be here and she should rather go over to see when Bakugou and Satou were coming back so they could get started on dinner-

"We're back!" Midoriya called, and Mina quickly spun around to the green haired hero, seeing Iida right behind him with a box, probably filled with the snacks they were supposed to buy.

She only knew how awkward this was when she looked back to see both Kaminari, as well as Jirou stare at her wide eyed.

Well.

"I'm rooting for you guys!" she grinned widely, giving them a thumbs up before turning around and quickly walking over to the newcomers.

She was happy for both Jirou and Kaminari. Because even if it wasn't anything in particular yet, it could always be something.

They had all time in the world.

Momo felt her leg shake, knowing it was audible as the zipper of her boot kept making sounds as she moved. Looking around the hallway, she realized that there was still nothing happening before she leaned back in the armchair that was standing in front of her fiancées hospital room.

The nurses and doctors went their ways, passing her by, not even acknowledging her presence while she was sitting here, nervous and alone.

It was okay. She was glad to be alone for once. Being with others helped her clear her head, for sure, and talking to the therapist with Shouto was the most relieving and freeing thing she'd done in the last few days, yet… having her mind for herself was a good thing, for now.

Shouto and her… would do this. They could do this. She knew they could. Even the therapist had agreed they could work this out, and that had to mean at least something.

He'd even agreed to talking to his father again, even though the man had hurt him so many times over the years Momo wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to forgive even an ounce of what he'd done. There were scars, cracks in the boy she loved that all led back to a single person, a single man that'd broken everything he'd laid his hands on. So much that Shouto was so convinced he was the same as his father that he'd done something terribly stupid.

Yet, she was not the one to judge. She was not the one to decide whether the number one hero deserved punishment, forgiveness or the benefit of the doubt for now.

Only the boy she loved could decide about their fate.

Biting on her lips, Momo took the book she'd laid down on her lap once again, opening it at a random page as she couldn't seem to concentrate on the number she'd memorized minutes ago when Endeavor had pulled her out of it. She only wanted to distract herself anyway.

The silence was terrible as the only sounds were the beeping of machines and the distant footsteps of nurses running through the hospital to help people.

Mh. If she thought about it like that…

Weren't they similar to heroes, in a way?

A soft smile found its way to her face. Reading the first sentence on the page she'd opened, she realized how nonsensical it was. The only thing she read was words, not their meaning.

Closing the book, she laid it down in her lap once again, hearing voices from the room behind her. They were muffled enough that she couldn't understand what they were saying, yet she knew they were talking nonetheless.

She let go of a long breath, reopening the book on the first page.

This would be a long day.

When the door finally opened, Momo sprung up right away, laying the book down on the chair as she turned towards Aizawa expectantly.

Her breath caught in her throat as she heard a sniffle from inside the room, knowing that he had cried. Still, her eyes were righted at their homeroom teacher who nodded at her carefully, "Everything… went fine, I think."

He… thought?

Well, he obviously couldn't be sure. No one could be, not really.

"Can I…" she started, her voice forsaking her, "May I go in?"

Fiddling with the hem of her sweater, she restrained herself from running off and into the room to wrap her fiancée in her arms, yet she didn't even know what conclusion they came to-

This – love – was a very weird feeling, sometimes. She just wanted him to be safe, after all, and he knew he'd worry just as much about her.

The dark haired teacher turned around to look inside the room once again, letting go of a long breath before nodding at her, "I'll tell a nurse that we're ready to get him checked and discharged."

"We're… We're going home?" she whispered, feeling a familiar sting in her eyes as she realized that it was true.

He was okay.

He was alive and well.

"Yeah," the teacher smiled halfheartedly, "It's time to go home."

Letting go of a long breath, Momo smiled as well, slipping past her teacher to enter the room. It was nicely lit, illuminating the scene in front of her.

Endeavor, the huge, bulky figure of a man was sitting in a seemingly tiny armchair next to his son's hospital bed. Shouto sat cross legged, wiping his eyes before he heard her, his gaze locking with hers right away.

"Hi," he whispered awkwardly, voice hoarse before he cleared it. She nodded at him, not really trusting her voice yet either before really taking in the way her future father-in-law looked.

Bashful, almost, as she swore she saw a few tears that were hiding in the man's eyes. The dark red hair she wasn't used to seeing in its pure form as the only version she knew was the half and half of a beautiful man she was proud to call her fiancée. "It's okay," Shouto said, now a little stronger, "We… We talked."

Momo nodded, walking over to the hero-in-training, questioningly gesturing at the empty space on the bed next to him. He took her hand, the gesture followed by a chaste nod as she understood, taking a seat.

"What conclusion did you come to?" she asked quietly, looking back and forth between both Todorokis.

"It's… It's difficult," Shouto explained and she concentrated onto the dual colored eyes in front of her, "I won't just forgive and forget," she nodded at his words, squeezing his warm hand tightly to make sure he knew she was here and she'd support him no matter what their resolution was going to be from now on, "But I don't want my life to be decided by hate and resentment."

Her smile couldn't be stopped even if she wanted to, understanding what he meant right away.

The person he hated wasn't Endeavor after all, he'd long admitted to that.

This only meant that he might be ready to stop hating himself.

"Will you let me help you?" she asked quietly, searching for one last reassurance in their new fate.

That's the first thing he'd ever truly asked her. If she believed in fate, that is.

Her answer now was easy.

She believed in fate, but only under one condition.

That they'd be allowed to shape it themselves.

"Of course," his voice was nothing more than a breath of air as he smiled at her lopsidedly. She'd never forget that picture right then, right there. The warmth in his gaze, even though there was still a slight tremble in his hands that told her he was nervous, told her all about that little fire in his heart that had finally restarted.

Once upon a time, long ago, there was an icy shell around his heart, protecting him from the hurt and pain this world inflicted to him on a regular basis.

Now, the only proof of it was the little snowflakes hanging around her neck.

"I'm sorry, Yaoyorozu," the man in front of them whispered, voice hoarse before Momo looked up at the red haired number one hero, "I swayed your parents into a contract they'd lost everything without, and yet the conditions were nothing they should've had to offer," Endeavor swallowed audibly, gazing up at the two of them, "I shouldn't have forced you into an arranged marriage to begin with."

Taking a long, reluctant breath, Momo nodded clearly, feeling her fiancée drill a hole in her head with the gaze he must've been looking at her with.

"Thank you for apologizing," she explained, meeting the aqua gaze of Shouto's father, "It wasn't the right thing to do. And… you should never force anyone into relationships or roles, especially not your children," biting her lip, she looked to the floor, shaking her head before going on, "Yet I can't be sure if we would've gotten the opportunity, the chance to fall in love if it wasn't for this predicament. It might sound weird, yet…" she turned towards the boy sitting next to her, meeting his eyes right away, "… I can't help to be at least a tiny bit thankful."

"Thank-…ful?" the older Todoroki whispered quietly and Momo looked back to him, analyzing the way he'd averted his gaze fully.

There was nothing of the fire left that'd always intrigued her.

She was never afraid of the man that called himself the number one hero as she knew the truth of that jealous, broken man whose only way of dealing with his position was to bring children into this world.

Children whose lives he destroyed the moment they developed their quirks.

They were either going to be a hero, or nothing at all.

And she had no idea what had happened to Touya that he'd ended up as Dabi, seeking for revenge in the most hurtful ways she could imagine. She didn't even know the details of what her fiancée had gone through and yet the she was slowly gaining confidence in the fact that he's going to tell her what's weighing him down should it be necessary.

"I guess that's the one thing I can forgive you," Shouto nodded quickly, staring at their interlaced hands, "Because I love her, even though I never learned what this emotion was. The one thing, the one feeling you were never able to show me… She taught me all she knew. And we'll discover the rest."

Endeavor nodded, vigorously this time before he sat up in the chair he'd been slumped in.

"You'll do all of the things I never could, I know that. I can only… I can only start from here."

"You…" Momo looked over to Shouto as he'd begun to speak, his eyebrows furrowed tightly, "You want to talk to mom?"

The older man let go of another breath, shaking his head before nodded, mimicking his son's expression.

"I'd like to make things right… But I don't know how. I don't want a second chance, that'd be a hopeless endeavor… I just want to… I don't know… Tell her…" listening closely, Momo tried to figure out what the hero wanted to say, "…that I loved her."

She expected Shouto to get angry at his father, to say something to him that clearly wasn't going to solve the situation, yet he only let out a quiet huff before looking at the hero.

"How… How did this happen? If you say you loved her… how did it come to this?"

It took a while before Endeavor answered.

"You're worried you'll be like me."

Shouto nodded, turning his head away to stare at the window.

Momo knew that. Had always known.

"You won't. Because you're a good person. You never were like me, even if I tried to shape you."

Her fiancée didn't argue. An audible gulp was his only answer before he looked back at Momo, huffing again as he closed his eyes.

"I told you that, Shouto," she whispered, making him meet her eyes before nodding, "I always told you you're not your father," leaning forward, she pressed a quick peck to his cheek, "We're going to be just fine."

He nodded, smirking at her slightly.

"I know, because you're here."

She hadn't thought her heart would skip another beat at his words, and yet it did.

"I think it's time to go home," she smiled at him.

"Let's not make this a big party. I don't think Todoroki nor Yaomomo would appreciate an evening full of loud music and dancing when they come back from the hospital," Izuku noted, one finger on his chin as he thought out loud, "We've got food, we've got decorations. How about a movie night?"

"Evening," Iida scolded right away, "We need to take our responsibilities as future heroes serious and be well rested for school tomorrow morning."

"Yes, evening, robot-hands," Kacchan rolled his eyes, "I'm pretty sure half and half will be asleep before we even watch half a movie."

"I'm pretty sure that'd be up to the movie!" Izuku argued lightheartedly, flinching at his former bully's stare, "I-I just mean that there's going to be a few movies that might work-"

"Alright, guys, Yaomomo just texted me that they're on their way back!" Jirou yelled from the living room, eliciting an annoyed "Eh?" from Kacchan who quickly looked around the messy kitchen, grumbling something along the lines of 'I didn't fucking start yet' as Izuku ruffled his hair with a nervous smile.

"I… I'll leave you and Sato to the kitchen-" "Don't act like you can tell me what to do just because All Might- Yeah, just fucking go."

"Language," Iida scolded before Izuku held onto his shoulder to push his friend into less of a war zone than the kitchen. Well, okay, it wasn't a war zone yet, but it would surely be one as soon as anyone dared to touch any of the food Kacchan was going to prepare for the evening.

Why the angry blonde even bothered? That… was a very good question that Izuku couldn't answer easily, knowing about their rivalry and the time they'd spent together training in the provisional license course. He couldn't help but think that maybe, despite their differences and constant banter… maybe they'd become friends.

He'd never dare to say that out loud, though, and he was pretty sure it was better like this.

"I agree that they're friends, in a way," Iida nodded approvingly, "Maybe not friends under the definition of social norms, but friends nonetheless."

"I can still hear your damn voices," they heard a grumble from the kitchen, making Izuku chuckle nervously before he and Iida left the room.

"Yo! Midoriya! Iida!" Sero yelled as soon as they entered the living room, "We thought about doing a movie night, what'd you say?"

"Evening," Izuku and Iida answered in sync as the green haired hero-in-training had learned his lesson the first time.

"Alright, then evening," the black haired replied, looking at Kirishima and Kaminari who were lounging on the couches with a few DVDs in their hands, slowly shuffling through them.

"The lion king?" the honey blonde suggested, lifting the case over his head as he'd thrown his legs over the back of the couch while resting his back on the seat.

"Can you feel the tears tonight?" Kirishima replied, eyes already glassy as he shook his head, "Not a good idea."

"True. Mufasaaa," the electric hero wailed loudly, throwing the case onto the stack of other deselected movies on the coffee table.

"Frozen," Sero huffed, lifting the DVD and showing it around, "Let's show the half ice prince the ice queen-"

"Not a good idea," Izuku interrupted, apologizing right away, "Freezing is… a tough topic for now."

"But it's about melting the ice, isn't it?" Kaminari furrowed his eyebrows, lifting his head slightly to look at Izuku, "That tear in the end symbolizes true love so Elsa's heart can't be that frozen."

"That's-"

That's not completely untrue. Letting go of the past and what people thought of one, freeing oneself by the self-set boundaries-

"You can keep it as an option for now," Iida concluded after a meaningful look Izuku'd given him.

"I repeat, they're almost here," Ashido yelled from the dinner table where they'd just finished up setting up the table nicely as the pink girl looked around quickly to make sure everything was perfect, making Izuku do the same as he made sure everything was at the right place. Jirou'd donned her phone at the stereo, plugging it in so the soft tunes of a piano filled the room, "I gotta get some rock into this later, though," she added with furrowed eyebrows as she looked them over.

"I want Back in Black," Kaminari raised his hand, making the purple haired girl shake her head in annoyance. "You already made me add that in the morning, Jamming-Whey. I guess you deep fried your brain in training- They're here!"

This was weird.

That's the only thing Shouto knew as he realized the way Aizawa had been side-eying them ever since they'd taken their places in the car.

Blinking rapidly, he looked over to his fiancée whose eyebrows were furrowed as she stared into her phone.

He couldn't help but notice they were way too far apart with the empty seat in between them. Still, he didn't know how to ask for her hand. He couldn't just grip hers from all the way over here, could he?

Chewing on his lips, he let go of a long breath through his nose before he looked into the rear mirror, locking eyes with his teacher once again. And he'd looked away just as fast, staring at his hands, not knowing what to do.

His phone was… somewhere, probably. Maybe it was still in his locker in the changing room? That was possible.

How could one human be so awkward?

"They're definitely planning something," the raven haired angel next to him noted before looking out the window and then answering the text message she'd gotten.

He just wanted to hold her hand. And he knew she'd told him he could always hold her hand, had shown him all along as she instigated those innocent little touches.

But now… he was being all antisocial wreck again, not daring to actually speak his desire out loud.

Desire? Where did that word come from?

It's not like he actually 'desired' Momo, did he?

Shaking his head, he only realized that he was very, very annoyed at himself.

He couldn't stop himself from sneakily gazing at her, following the sharp line of her nose to soft lips which he couldn't even remember the feeling of-

Yeah.

He was just a wreck.

A lovesick, desiring mess that was sitting next to the woman he loved so much he thought he was going to go up in flames any moment-

His hand did get a little too warm, he faintly noticed.

Oh no.

If he ever said anything about being able to control his quirk perfectly…

He took it back now.

Letting go of a long breath, he turned away to stare out the window, watching the scenery flash them by. The huge buildings of downtown Musustafu shrinking with every corner they crossed until they were at the forest surrounding UA. The sun was still bright in the sky, yet he was sure it was already afternoon and soon going to turn dark rather quickly. Funny, he thought, how sunsets kept following them everywhere they went. Well, they didn't follow them in particular. The sun followed her cycle after all, yet he couldn't stop himself from connecting to the way it set and rose with every day that passed. It was just… beautiful, how even the darkest night made room for a few beautiful rays of sunshine.

And his sunshine was sitting right next to him.

It was just when he'd forgotten about his right hand awkwardly lying around on the seat in between them that he felt warm fingers interlace with his. He bit his lip as he nervously glanced at Momo, who was still typing on her phone with her right hand, yet her left had left its place to hold his. A small smile found its way onto his face as he tried to suppress the grin that was trying to overwhelm him.

Even if she was distracted, even if she was in thought or solving the strange intentions of their classmates, there was a place in her heart which was solely reserved for him. He knew that. He understood that, and there was nothing he wanted more in this life than those tiny acts, those tiny shows of affection.

Letting go of another sigh, she put the phone down to look at him, her frown quickly turning into a warm smile as she nodded, squeezing his hand tightly.

They didn't have to say it out loud.

It was obvious that it was love.

When Shouto wanted to throw the big duffel bag over his shoulder, Momo took it from him while shaking her head.

"Don't overexert yourself," she nodded decidedly, "I can carry the bag. I'm a strong and independent woman."

He snorted, trying to stop himself from laughter, "You don't need to demonstrate it. I know you are."

That was just a fact. There was no stronger and more awesome girl than the raven haired one in front of him he was allowed to call his fiancée. This privilege was something he'd never expected himself to have, yet he wouldn't give it up for anything in this world.

Even if they gave him the chance to go back in time and make it all different - Give him freedom, give him opportunities and ways to live his life differently from how he'd done…

He wouldn't change a thing.

All those roads, all those messy fate- and dutiful paths had led them to where they were now. Maybe everything had to end up like this for them to be happy.

He prayed this happiness would last.

And at the same time he knew that even if it didn't… that didn't mean it'd break them apart.

"Are you coming?" Momo turned around towards him from where she'd taken the first steps towards the dormitories, smiling patiently while reaching out a hand to him.

His heart skipped another beat as the sun reflecting in her raven hair let her shine so ethereal he had to blink twice before he understood that she was real.

Quickly, he nodded, taking the distance between them in big steps, holding onto her hand to let her guide him through this world he'd hated for so long. He'd hated his father, he'd hated the world, and he'd hated himself.

There was nothing left of that, now.

She smiled at him again when she opened the door. He followed her just a step behind and there wasn't even enough time for the door to fall into its lock behind them before a choir of "Welcome home!" greeted them.

Blinking intelligently, Shouto took in the sight in front of him. His classmates, all of them, if he didn't forget about someone, were crowded in the common room. Kaminari, Kirishima and Sero did the most hurtful looking of poses with lots of lore gestures he didn't get while Bakugou rolled his eyes next to them, signature scowl on his face. There were banners reading 'welcome home' distributed all throughout the living room as his sight went onto his best friend, who was grinning at the both of them widely. Uraraka was giving approving nods when Iida greeted them, "It was an unambiguous decision to welcome you home after getting hurt while fighting a villain that'd hurt one of our fellow classmates during the summer camp last year. How are you, Todoroki, Yaoyorozu?"

"You can call them the Todoroki's," Jirou snarked in the background, eliciting a laugh from Kaminari that seemed way too forced to be real, yet Shouto knew the blonde was trying to impose the earphone jack hero.

Momo chuckled nervously next to him, making him furrow his eyebrows before he understood that he should probably answer.

But what was he supposed to say?

Thank you?

It didn't feel right.

"We're…" he whispered, feeling his voice break against his will as he mustered a lopsided smile for his classmates, "We're home."

"Bakugou cooked?" Shouto asked incredulously as Midoriya guided him to a place at the dinner table which was set up so perfectly he knew it must've been either Iida's or Aoyama's work.

"Yeah, and don't tell him I told you that, but I think he was happy to help out," the green haired smiled, taking the place to his left as Momo leaned over the back of his chair to talk to him as she smiled at him.

"I'm going to bring the bag to my room and get changed, I'll be right back," she whispered, apologetically smiling at Midoriya who only nodded vigorously in reply as Shouto knew there was a little grin that found its way to his face.

"Alright," Shouto answered quietly and she pressed a soft peck on his cheek before pulling away and beaming at him with her eyes closed.

He hadn't even fully registered when she'd left to ride the elevator to her floor before Midoriya started talking again. Blinking, Shouto turned around to him. The redness on his friend's cheeks made Shouto realize that the rest of the class was slowly gathering around them. Ashido pulled out the chair right in front of him, scooting as close as she could without destroying the perfect order of the cutlery and plates on the table, "Spill the beans, lovebird. How do you argue and turn back to all lovey dovey in a day?"

The pink skin around her eyes crinkled slightly as a bright grin found its way to her lips, the darkness around her yellow eyes never as eye-striking as now. Shouto'd never fully registered that his classmate had such intricate features. "Um," he let go of a long breath, not knowing what to say as he couldn't explain to himself how exactly they'd managed to get themselves together in such a short amount of time after what happened, "Well, we… we didn't argue."

"Wait, you didn't?" the grin disappeared in a split second as her eyebrows furrowed, "But something happened, didn't it?"

"Well…" Shouto didn't know what to say. What to not say. His brain was just one pile of thoughts that wouldn't get into any order that could help him formulate a plan, or a believable lie or the truth or anything at all-

"Leave half-and-half the fuck alone," Bakugou groaned from the kitchen, "I'm not serving panic attacks or murderous dead-not-dead brothers, so get yourself some curry and go back to your fucking seat, pinky."

"Don't tell me Bakubro's got a soft spot after all?" Kaminari gasped enlightened, "Jirou, maybe he's just so snarky to me because he likes me as well-"

It had never been his intention to interrupt his classmates, and yet…

He couldn't stop himself.

His laughter had never been that free, as all of the stress, all of the unnecessary second thoughts he'd had fell of his chest and he finally, fully realized that he, in fact, wasn't alone.

He'd never been alone in the first place, and Momo had made sure he knew that from the start, and yet… the one that'd tried to burden this world all alone had been him.

Yeah, he was a child, stumbling in footsteps way too big for him, in a snowfield too deep to cross, searching for a way out of a life that didn't feel like it was his in the first place. And when the footsteps disappeared, when his father became the number one hero and his purpose was lost, he'd closed his eyes instead of trusting the hand that was holding onto his.

It could've been so easy, yet he'd locked himself in a cage, holding the key but being too afraid to use it-

Well, he might've been nothing more than a fool, and horrible things had to happen to him before he understood, but he didn't have to walk alone.

Because he'd never been alone in the first place.

Momo let go of a long breath as she held onto the hand of the boy sitting next to her. A blanket was spread around them, the lights dimmed as they silently watched the movie. There may not have been enough space on the couches in the common room, yet most of their classmates were huddled together on them. She'd taken place next to Shouto, of course. It's not like anyone'd even tried to steal her place as she couldn't help but notice the close proximity of her best friend with a certain honey blonde electric hero. They were sitting side by side, awkwardly trying not to touch, yet it obviously wasn't successful as the legs of the two unofficial lovebirds touched.

The raven haired wanted to tease them in revenge for all the times the purple haired had embarrassed her, yet Momo couldn't remember a single thing she could say as she felt a slight weight on her shoulder.

There was no need to look as she felt her fiancée squeeze her hand, but she couldn't stop herself from turning her head towards him slightly, getting herself a little more comfortable as he pulled his head away, looking at her with a silent question in her eyes. Once she was content with her sitting position, she nodded at him.

Slowly, awkwardly, he leaned his head against her shoulder. Her heart skipped a beat, then another as she felt him let go of a long breath, knowing he trusted her enough to let go of his fears, slowly falling asleep even though they were surrounded by people.

It might take another while until they were going to be where they left off, yet those tiny signs of trust where all she needed for now. There was no need to rush, there was no need to go to places they weren't ready to visit yet again-

They had all time in the world after all.

Suppressing her smile, she pulled him closer towards her, gently wrapping her arm around him to make sure he wouldn't slip from her shoulder and wake up.

"Those two are so cute-" Ashido giggled, and Momo's eyes widened as she carefully put her finger on her lips, signaling her friend to be quiet. A blush formed on her cheeks as she realized that she lost the hang of her etiquette, the manners she'd learned in her childhood once again.

Yet the bright smile on the pink skinned's face told her everything was alright.

Yes, that's what it was.

It may be presumptuous, way, way too early to say, and still she couldn't shake that feeling off.

In this moment, as she was holding him, making sure he was safe, she couldn't help but feel that it was alright.

And she couldn't stop herself from smiling.

Notes:

Class 1-A is one giant family and no one will ever change my mind.

Cozy, domestic and lovely is what I'd describe this chapter with, but I'm totally ready to hear your opinions on all of this! ^.^

Also, I accidentally deleted the series for Crash when I wanted to change the name, so... feel free to bookmark it/subscribe to it once again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience xD

Feel free to tell me what you think and have a fantastic day!

Chapter 37: And our scars remind us that the past is real

Summary:

Scars - Papa Roach

Some scars fade, some last forever, yet it's important to note that they're the one thing showing us that we survived. That we fought, and that we won, even if it doesn't feel like we did the moment it happened.

Scars tell the history of people.

Notes:

Heyo, here I am with the new chapter!

I haven't answered any comments yet because I didn't really have time over the holidays, so I'm also a little behind on writing~ I hope all of you had wonderful holidays as well and I'll answer the comments soon~!

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

He'd never been particularly shy, he noted, yet there was nothing he could do against the awkward nervousness in his veins as he stood in the boys' locker room.

Confident. Excessively so, some might say. That's how he'd always seen himself, how he knew his classmates had always seen him. Yet… he just couldn't take his shirt off when he knew the horrible, white patch of skin on his back would just cause questions he wasn't ready to answer.

He wasn't ready for anyone to see him like this. That was it.

Not even Momo knew what mess he was in. Heck, he didn't even know the full extend of it either as he only saw glimpses of it through the bathroom mirror late at night-

The few days of non workout weren't the best for his usually so toned muscles either, so… yeah, he was being a mess all over again.

"Todoroki?" Midoriya asked him when he'd finished putting on his green hero costume, "You… okay?"

Shouto nodded absentmindedly, realizing how empty the locker room was as the only one left was his friend, "I'll… be right behind you."

"The scar?" the green haired hero-in-training asked, mimicking vaguely at the dual haired's back.

It was just another scar.

It was fine.

Shouto nodded quietly.

"You know…" his friend started, crossing his arms in front of his chest as a slight smile found its way to his face, "…no one here would judge you for your scars. We all have them, smaller, more faded, or just in different ways… but we're all hurt sometimes, and there's no need to be ashamed of proof that you fought."

Letting go of a long breath, the green haired uncrossed his arms to put his hands on Shouto's shoulders, making sure the dual quirk wielder looked at him.

"You fought, and you won," patting his shoulders with affirming nods, Shouto realized that he hadn't even flinched at the motion that usually always sent chills down his spine-

He won?

He fought… and we won?

The dual haired must've looked completely dumbfounded as Midoriya started chuckling quietly.

"Even warriors have scars. And every scar has got its story," the green haired took a step back, letting go of him as he got ready to leave the room, "So… every warrior has got a story to tell."

It was only when he was all alone in the room that Shouto let go of a breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding.

His friend's words were too true. Momo had probably told him the same if he'd dared to ask her-

No, it was different, with her. This patch of skin meant to much more to them together, so… having someone else tell him that it was a good thing? He… He couldn't have known how much that'd soothe his nerves as the rock on his chest fell.

Shaking his head, he grimaced before pulling his shirt over his head.

It was time to train, after all.

So he could become the hero he wanted to be.

"Young Todoroki," Shouto heard as soon as he'd left the building, startling at the sudden conversation before he looked up at the blonde teacher, "May I have a word with you?"

"Uh," the dual haired blinked a few times, looking ahead to the field where he saw his classmates waiting, locking eyes with Momo who looked at him with a silent question in her eyes that he couldn't interpret from the distance, "Shouldn't I… go train with the others?"

"Well," awkwardly, All Might rubbed the back of his neck, "Aizawa told me about the… temperature sensitivity. We… We wanted to propose the possibility to start slowly, without danger of you accidentally hurting yourself, and… since there's something I need to tell you, we thought it might be a good idea if it was me supporting you today?"

Confused, Shouto blinked at the former number one hero.

They… They wanted him to adapt to the new situation? To go slowly, just like his doctor and Recovery Girl had said? Well, he really shouldn't be surprised, yet at the same time he had no idea what his teacher wanted to talk to him about-

"I… Okay," he mumbled, still trying to wrap around his head around the opportunity he was given to catch up to his classmates once more, "I… thank you. Very much."

He knew he was being awkward, knew that it was typical for his teachers to make sure their students were alright as both of them had already gotten themselves into grave danger to protect them – Still… he just… wanted to make sure his gratitude was known.

"There's no need to thank me, young one," All Might shook his head, grimacing slightly as his voice sounded so bittersweet Shouto couldn't do anything but gulp, "I owe you an apology."

An… apology?

What for?

The man in front of him must've seen it in his eyes; in the way they widened, confused and overwhelmed by his idol, role model, the hero he'd always wanted to be-

All Might, Yagi Toshinori, former number one hero and their savior from All for One, bowed in front of him.

He bowed in front of Todoroki Shouto, the child that'd suffered from his father's jealousy and rivalry all his life.

"I heard from Endeavor," the blonde explained, his voice seemingly on the verge of breaking while Shouto couldn't see his face to interpret his facial expression, "And…" All Might looked up from his position, locking eyes with the dual haired teen that still couldn't do anything but stare, "… I'm sorry, young Todoroki, for never noticing anything. I… I should've, from the way he acted all along. As your teacher, but also as a former hero, I… I can't forgive myself."

Shouto blinked. Once, twice, shaking his head as he wrapped his head around what he'd just heard.

"Don't-" he tried, lifting his hands slightly as he realized that he had no idea what to do with them, "Please, you don't have to-"

Slowly, All Might stood from his bent over position, quickly towering over the dual haired teen and yet looking slumped and sick and-

"There's nothing to forgive," the son of the number one hero whispered, knowing his voice was on the verge of breaking as well. He wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault, that he'd never done anything to trigger his father into becoming the messed up person he'd been, and yet… yet the words just wouldn't leave his lips as he knew them to be not completely true. Still, this man that'd given his all to protect them, to protect this country and world – He didn't deserve the hate, or resentment or grudge of a child that'd looked up to him before he even understood the concept of a hero.

"It's alright," he nodded, finding the strength in his chest once again, "I'm alright."

"But-" the blonde's eyebrows furrowed, making Shouto shake his head in a denying motion as he let his hands sink once again.

"The past… is in the past," the dual haired grimaced as he was reminded that he was bad with words, "I'm… I'm going to look at the future instead. You have always been a great hero, All Might, and I never held you responsible for any of this."

His teacher let go of a long breath, trying to muster a smile, yet all Shouto noticed was how tired it looked.

Yeah, he understood.

He'd been tired as well, for a long, long time.

"Alright," the blonde lastly noted, nodding at him reluctantly, "So… let's get you started, young hero?"

"Yeah," Shouto smirked, "Sounds like a plan."

But there was something he had to do first, and when he looked over to catch Momo's gaze, he realized that they'd long gone over to warming up by themselves. It was when he'd found her, seeing how she tried to touch her toes with her fingers, that he fully understood they were still kids, trying to become heroes.

Funny, he thought.

That's always been the truth. They were just children, trying to save the world, yet all of the responsibilities they were shouldered with, all of the situations they were thrown into without any preparation had made them forget about this simple fact.

Oh, he'd make sure she'd become a hero. He'd promised that so long ago and even if he broke so many of his stupid promises, he'd never let anything hold her back.

The therapist said they could let those fears turn into strength.

He'd never be the one holding her back. Not again.

He was her number one fan, her number one supporter, and that would never change.

"Are you and young Yaoyorozu… close?" his teacher got his attention back. Shouto turned back to the blonde former hero, blinking intelligently.

"I thought Endeavor told you," the dual haired furrowed his eyebrows, "Momo and I are engaged."

"You're… what?!"

The fake skin in his back was nothing but weird to fight with. Using his quirk was… like an itch, not really painful but the feeling was just there. He was sure he'd take another while to get used to it, and he was grateful to be able to slowly catch up instead of having to fight at his full strength right away.

There wasn't anything like a loss of power or limits to his quirk, as far as he knew, but being careful was a lot easier than having another surgery because he burnt the patch of skin that was keeping him together.

Ice worked fine, fire worked fine – he was relieved at finding out how easy and nice it was to work with when he'd expected something like a real handicap. He could still be a hero, the rock falling off his chest surprising him as the worry had been completely subconscious.

He'd become a hero.

A real, true hero who protects those in need, those who can't save themselves and the people and things they love.

Yeah. That sounded good.

Nodding, he felt the little smirk on his lips as he pulled the white shirt he was wearing under his suit over his head. Getting rid of the sticky and disgusting piece of clothing was just a great relief. He scratched the back of his neck as he was about to get ready to shower when he was reminded that he wasn't alone in the locker room.

"Woah!" Kirishima exclaimed, and Shouto knew it was directed at him right away as he suddenly realized that he'd forgotten about the scar he'd just been self-conscious about an hour ago.

Awkwardly, he turned around to the red haired teen, realizing that they'd just entered the locker room as they were still wearing their hero suits.

What would they… What would they say?

He knew it must look horrible, terrific, maybe-

"This is so awesome!" Kaminari added, nodding at Kirishima with wide eyes, "Real battle scars! Was that… That's from the fight with Dabi, isn't it?"

From the battle with Dabi?

"Well…" he started, yet he didn't know what to say to the fact that it was only a piece of metal hitting him when he-

"Nonsense!" the red haired interrupted, "It's from protecting Yaomomo. Taking a hit for the person one loves, that's just manly. True hero potential."

What…? Why…? How… did he know that?

"You… think so?" was all the dual haired could muster, averting his gaze as he stared at a foreign spot in the concrete.

"Or!" Kaminari then hit his hand with his fist, signaling he had an idea, "Or maybe he got hit during the fight with Dabi while protecting Yaomomo!"

"Either way, it's a fantastic story, isn't it?" Midoriya interrupted as he'd entered the room a few moments prior.

A fantastic story.

So that's what his friend meant.

Well… if he looked at it like that…

Shouto smiled.

Biting her lips, Momo stared at her spaghetti, putting her cutlery down to look around.

"What's wrong?" Jirou asked her, hiding her mouth behind her hand as she was still chewing.

Well, there was nothing that was legitimately wrong, but it didn't feel completely right as she only knew there was someone missing next to her.

"She's missing her boyfriend, de facto," Ashido interrupted, pointing at the raven haired girl with her fork, "Has the time finally begun where we lose our wonderful Yaomomo to the depths of a first love?"

"Do you even know what 'de facto' means?" the purple haired interrupted chuckling, taking her hand away after she swallowed her food, "The depths of a first love, huh? She's long gone, don't even bother."

Momo had to stop herself from laughing at her friends' behavior before an invisible girl took place next to the pink haired hero-in-training, slamming her tray onto the table.

"You won't believe me," Hagakure's floating uniform sat down fully, scooting closer to them, "But I'm pretty sure I saw Ochako and Midoriya huddled together in a corner over there."

"You did?" the raven haired girl furrowed her eyebrows, suddenly back into the conversation, "Are they finally dating now?"

"About as much as good ol' Kamijirou," the acid hero-in-training laughed, earning herself a bright red flushing friend who tried to hide her face.

"What… did I miss?" Momo chuckled nervously.

Was there… was there more to that 'meeting on Christmas Eve' that her purple haired friend had told her about even though she'd kept on denying it was a date-

"I heard they were on dates, yes, plural, after Christmas. And I missed all of it! But well, I guess it's more important that I had the real tea of seeing you and Todoroki at KFC-"

"You saw what?!" embarrassed, Momo hid her face in her hands at the realization that their date, their… first, real date had been accidentally supervised and-

Oh god, did Ashido know about the kiss?

The raven haired forgot all about the dual haired boy she'd been watching out for as she prayed for her quirk to change into one with which she could sink in the floor and disappear-

"Hey," she suddenly heard, jumping at the sudden voice behind her as she automatically tried to defend herself, quickly being dodged by no one other than her fiancée, "Sorry, I didn't want to startle you."

"H-Hey," was the only thing she could muster as she knew her cheeks had turned more than just slightly pink, and when he stood right in front of her she was only reminded of the fact that she really wanted to kiss him.

What?

Were they even ready for that, yet?

Well, they had kissed before they'd met the therapist without problem, and yet… why was she so scared of going too fast just like she'd been when she'd first met him?

This… This had been such a substantial part of their relationship, so why were they going back to hesitant kisses on the cheek? It was just yesterday that she'd said that she didn't mind going slow, and yet… why was it that she already craved this intimate feeling of his lips on hers? They didn't… They didn't have to go all the way, with what happened after the last time, but… an innocent little kiss? That would work, wouldn't it?

"You alright?" he asked, looking her up and down with furrowed eyebrows. Of course, it was obvious she was being all awkward and weird-

"Y-Yeah," she stammered, fidgeting with her hands, "I'm alright."

"Are you sure?" the red and white haired boy whispered, gently putting a hand on her arm, the motion grounding her right away.

There was a time for everything, she knew that. If the moment was right, they would know.

"Yes," she whispered.

She just missed him way too much.

Against all of her manners, all of her conscience and logical thinking, she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him in close.

They'd been together for so long, and after all of the time she'd spent in his hospital room – she wasn't used to being alone anymore.

Of course she wasn't alone, with her friends all around her, and she was definitely not lonely, but there was something she craved and yet couldn't name-

A beat passed before he gently wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her gently, carefully as he was still awkwardly standing in front of her.

She breathed in his scent, so faint underneath the smell of deodorant and yet there was nothing more she needed.

Her head was resting against his chest, leaving his heartbeat to calm her down from the nervousness she hadn't even fully registered.

It was way too quick that he let go, pulling away to look at her properly.

"Better?" he asked, not even questioning what'd been wrong. It wasn't necessary, not in front of so many people as the only thing she needed was his presence next to her.

Childish, scandalous, really, but there was nothing she could do about this urge. It felt so natural and foreign at the same time and Momo slowly seemed to understand that there was still so much they'd have to learn about relationships.

"Yeah," she whispered, smiling at him as she let took his right hand, making sure it wasn't cold, "I'm way, way better."

He was warm. That's all that mattered.

"May I…?" he asked awkwardly, nodding towards the chair at the end of the table as Ashido was already pushing her food tray a seat further to make space for him, "I know we usually don't eat together, but… yeah, Midoriya's gone and Iida's talking to someone from the support course because of his hero costume and-"

"Be quiet and sit down," Jirou laughed at Shouto's reasoning while shaking her head. Her jacks were pointing at the empty seat.

Ashido quickly joined in on the nodding, throwing her arm in the air to support her statement, "Yeah, we may bite, but I promise to hold back!"

Momo had to stifle a laugh as Shouto stared at the pink haired girl as if she'd grown a second head, "But your quirk is acid, not biting-"

"It's alright, you don't need to understand," Momo explained, guiding him by his hand until he nodded and pulled out the chair to sit down. He halted mid-motion, pushing the chair back in and looking at her apologetically, "What's wrong?"

"I'm going to get myself food first," he sheepishly looked to the side and she knew him well enough to see that he was embarrassed, "I'll be right back."

Biting her lip, she looked at her fiancée, taking in the soft redness that'd spread on his nose as she nodded quietly. Gently, he squeezed her hand, subconsciously reassuring her that he'd be back, before he let go.

She stared at his back while he walked away. Shakily, she exhaled as a fire flooded her chest, letting her feel warm as there was only one thing she wondered about.

When… When had his shoulders gotten so broad?

"Yeah, she's totally gone," Kyouka smiled, leaning back in her chair as she watched her best friend watch her boyfriend/fiancée go.

It was better this way. Without the hurt and fear she'd seen in her friend's eyes for so, so long even when she said she was happy – It was time about time for them to be happy.

The black haired turned back towards them, a bright smile on her face as she picked up her cutlery to continue to eat, not even realizing how Ashido was eying her. Kyouka knew that look, and was positive there was going to be another wonderful questioning about their personal life. At least the topic wasn't her and Denki anymore, allowing her a sigh of relief as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

It was bright outside, an obvious good day where the skies were clear even though the ground was covered in snow. She couldn't help but notice that it was like the calm after the storm.

Was their storm finally over?

Kyouka had never really believed in things like fate or a power from above, yet she couldn't help but feel that all of this couldn't be completely coincidental.

When she looked at her friend like that, just indefinitely happy after all of this, the purple haired girl smiled. Things seemed to be getting better.

And with the slightest nod, she thought to herself that they might be the most cheerful of them all one day.

This was a relationship built on mistakes, secrets and hurt, but still...

Their foundation was shaken up, ripped apart and yet they found towards each other once again.

Kyouka felt a strange sense of hope that even though things might go badly - it didn't mean that they were wrong, neither that they weren't meant to be.

There was always a drop of hope in despair. It was never truly too late.

The purple haired girl smiled as she quietly watched her friends talk, not noticing any of their words as she promised herself one thing.

She'd believe in it as well.

"Yo!" a familiar honey blonde classmate of hers greeted them, making Momo laugh at the way her purple haired friend looked at him as she saw herself in this warm adoration as well, yet Kaminari did great in destroying it all as he went on, "So, did you know penguins can't fly?"

That was the best icebreaker Momo'd ever heard in her life. Okay, maybe the second best as number one would always be a single question about fate on a late afternoon.

Jirou snorted as she playfully poked him with one of her jacks, "Of course they can't."

Momo couldn't help but chuckle at their lovely banter, realizing how much their topics differed from the things she talked about with Shouto. But now… after all this, there would be many more chances to catch up on that, wouldn't there be? Happy, lighthearted topics that they could discuss? Whatever they did… always seemed so serious, and she couldn't help but yearn for something easy every once in a while.

"Is this place still empty?" the blonde said, pointing at the empty space next to his girlfriend and Momo winked at the earphone jack hero who only choked on her water in reply.

"Sure," Jirou blushed slightly, gesturing at the seat as she put the glass on the table in front of her.

She'd been so invested in her friend's relationship that Momo startled once again when a slight clang pulled her out of it. Quickly, she span around to her fiancée who looked so sad her heart sank in her chest as his stone and aqua eyes looked to the floor as he sat down. Looking at his tray, she understood right away, "They didn't have cold soba?"

"No, all sold out," he stared at his spaghetti as if they'd hurt him before he put his mobile phone next to the tray, "But I found my phone in the locker room. My mom has officially discovered the art of texting."

"She… Your mom bought a phone?" Momo clapped her hands together excitedly, "Would you mind giving me her number too, please?"

"Of course, once I've got more battery, it's at three percent," he nodded, smirking at her slightly.

"Oh! Oh!" Kaminari got excited, "I can charge it for you, if you want to."

"But you just deep-fried your brain-"

"I can do this, Jirou!" the blonde shook his head with a pout on his lips while holding out his hand to receive his classmate's phone.

Once Shouto'd handed over his phone, he smiled at Momo once again.

Her heart leapt in her chest.

He did know what effect he had on her, didn't he?

The butterflies in her belly seemed to wreck havoc as her heart skipped another beat-

She really wanted those soft lips on hers.

Oh god. Jirou'd been right. She was long gone. Hopeless, for thinking of such an endeavor in the midst of the cafeteria-

"Endeavor's son!" a familiar voice that sent chills down her spine started, leaving both of them to turn around to Monoma who had lifted both of his hands in a provoking manner.

"Monoma," Kendou interrupted warningly as Momo looked at her old friend that she'd gotten to know better during their field training. In the pleading look in the red haired's eyes she could read that there was trouble coming their way.

She instinctively went to grab Shouto's hand as she realized how quiet it'd gotten in the cafeteria as all eyes were on them.

This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all, not when those scars were so fresh-

"Yeah," the dual haired replied, not even bothering to get up from his place next to her. His hand squeezed hers tightly, letting her know that it hadn't gone cold.

"I heard your villain brother got you ready for the hospital."

Oh. Oh no – Momo wanted to get him out of here before anything happened.

But then… the unbelievable happened as her fiancée got up and walked over to the blonde, each and every step eyed by the people around them, time seeming to slow down until he stood in front of the copy hero-in-training.

"And if he did?" he asked the smaller boy, putting both of his hands in his pants' pockets.

"Well, then that only shows that Class 1-A finally showed their weakness with one of their best students losing such a fight-"

"Who said we lost?" Shouto tilted his head, "He was arrested after all."

He was… He was standing up for himself?

He wasn't freezing himself, but… standing up for what he knew to be right?

They had arrested the villain after all, even if it almost cost them something so much more important but that didn't matter when he was finally, finally stopping to hate himself-

She'd expected him to be self-deprecating, expected him to freeze and hurt because of words that seemed so true in a way and yet… yet he was giving his all, not backing down.

Momo felt the pride swell in her chest as she choked on a breath. This- He was- Finally-

She couldn't believe it, and yet it was happening right in front of her.

"But- Hospital?" Monoma blinked at him, his eyes squinting at him as the dual haired had thrown him out of the speech he'd probably practiced all weekend.

And that's when she didn't care anymore.

She just couldn't.

She was so proud, and she was so in love that the choice between manners and secrecy and privacy was decided without her influence.

The squeaking of her chair let the dual haired turn towards her as she crossed the distance between them in quick, long steps. His eyes widened and she really, really hoped this wasn't going to be too much or too fast yet there was no stopping in her automation as she cupped his cheeks and pulled his face towards her.

When had he gotten this tall?

Tiptoeing, the oceans, storms and snowfields between them disappeared as she pressed her lips to his.

Relief flooded her when he moved his against hers without hesitance, slowly snaking his arms around her waist and she could've sworn that time was standing still. This was it. This was the soft, beautiful and warm feeling that sent tingles down her spine that she loved so freaking much it'd practically hurt to be set back to a time without this.

She was such a silly, silly girl.

It didn't matter, she thought, as the cheers surrounded them and his smile showed her how far they'd come when they slowly let go. She was out of breath as her chest threatened to explode from the happiness she felt. This smile, this beautiful smile she'd always known to save the world was going to keep hers together no matter how much it was falling apart. There was nothing else she saw but the happiness, the glimmer in his dual colored eyes of ocean and silver.

Yes, they were happy, she noticed as a soft blush covered her cheeks and she smiled at him sheepishly for her interruption of his perfectly going debate.

"Momo," he whispered, grinning lopsidedly at her, "My mom said it'd be a good idea for us to get our mind off things for a while. You know, like… a date."

She nodded slowly, waiting for him to finish talking as he averted his gaze to stare at an uncertain point to his right.

"Do you want to go see the cherry blossoms with me?"

Her answer was obvious, wasn't it?

Notes:

IT'S DATE TIME! A real date, a real, absolutely real date-

Is anyone as hyped as me xD?! It's going to be HUGE, and I'm not sure when it'll be uploaded but I'll probably start a countdown on tumblr because I'm excited myself xD

But sadly I also have to say that, as many have noted, there's only three chapters left of Crash now. Of course there's the sequel, that's details I'll put on my tumblr and I'd say will start in June, but a huge, huuuuge part of my life is ending with Crash (I'll Be Here) and I'm kinda excited and bummed at the same time for slowly wrapping it up-

We're in the Endgame now, that's all I wanted to say.

Have a beautiful day, all you wonderful people!

Chapter 38: Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Summary:

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

The cherry blossoms shine in pink, the rain may pour a river on them-

For their house of cards may never be broken.

Notes:

Welcome back!

IT'S DATE TIME, EVERYONE, it's date time!

Another almost 10k chapter. I'm... not sure how that happened.

Tiny warning for it's getting a little steamier in the end, but... nothing besides kissing happens, so... decide for yourself, if it's too steamy, just skip the endnotes, there's a bit of special info there :)

It's... It's been a long ride, and... Crash is almost over... and I'm very not okay with it at the moment, but I'm sure it'll be better soon, for there's the sequel... which is still not this first story of mine, so... Hah, why am I even being like this xD

I hope you'll enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Roses?

Check.

Shouto nervously pulled away the collar of his blue shirt so he could breathe easier before he sighed annoyed at himself. This was fine! He'd met her parents before! But why… Why was he like this? Was it because he'd messed up all this time? They'd tried to break off the engagement after all, so… maybe it was normal for him to be… anxious?

But if Momo believed in him, he should certainly do too, and he was optimistic he could sway their minds somehow, so… maybe he should just ring the doorbell?

Truffels?

Check.

He went through his list again, scratching the back of his head while taking a step back once again. This was going to be alright. It was going to be alright.

Wine?

Check as well.

Biting on his lips, he took another step forward, lifting his hand until it was hovering right above the doorbell. Even when he'd first visited Midoriya, he hadn't been even a quarter as nervous as he was now. He had to make a good impression. It wasn't even like he was the new boyfriend that was finally fully introducing himself. No, he was her fiancée, he was going to marry this girl whose parents he had to sway.

And he didn't even understand how Momo'd fallen for him in the first place, so how was he supposed to know to get her parents to like him? His plan had always been to make them hate him because it would've been easier, and now he was here, having to do the absolute opposite.

He'd gotten himself into that dilemma by himself, in a way, hadn't he?

Maybe there was a little influence by what her parents found out about his father and the way he was raised, yet they wouldn't have suddenly tried to blow off the engagement if they liked him, would they have? So… They clearly didn't like him, and what… What if her father found out that they did… the thing together? He was going to die, that's the only thing he knew for sure. But they didn't even do anything since then! Only kissing, and… Maybe a little fumbling and-

He had to get himself together, that much he was sure of.

And he had to ring the doorbell.

But he… He couldn't just show up here, could he? What… What if Momo hadn't told them that he was coming here to pick her up? And even if she did tell them, he was way too early as well-

Letting go of a shaky breath, he pressed the button, quickly pulling his hand away and standing up straight, holding the paper bag with the other.

It only took a few seconds before an unfamiliar maid opened the door for him. That was when he realized that there was a camera set out for the front door.

Oh.

"Hi," he greeted, lifting his hand awkwardly while the blonde girl on the other side grinned at him. She opened the door fully, ushering him inside before closing it.

"Mrs Yaoyorozu, Sir Todoroki is here!" she announced loudly, making Shouto grimace at the reality of the situation.

"Welcome," the raven haired woman that was one day going to be his in-law entered the Foyer through what he knew to be the dinner hall, "Momo said you'd pick her up to go out and look at the cherry blossoms."

"Yeah," he answered nervously, knowing that it wasn't really a question and yet he couldn't stop himself from answering, "I… I thought it might be nice to… to take her out… on a date I mean, I'd never hurt her, I swear-"

"It's alright," her mother chuckled, "It's okay to be nervous."

He exhaled another shaky breath.

It was going to be alright.

"I… I brought presents," his voice was on the voice of breaking and he couldn't fully figure out why before he cleared his voice.

"Good afternoon young Mr," another familiar voice answered him as her father entered the room, closing the watch on his wrist, "Our daughter is still getting ready."

So… he was going to be alone with them for another while?

Oh, may whatever power there was above have mercy on him.

"I… Alright," he nodded nervously, looking back and forth between Momo's parents, "How… How've you been? I… I brought truffles and wine, Momo said you might appreciate it."

"That's wonderful of you," her mother whispered, a soft smile on her lips as he took the flowers out of the bag before handing it over to her.

"Do you drink wine?" the black haired man's voice was as cold as ice, sending shivers down Shouto's spine.

"I'm… I'm sixteen. I'm not allowed to drink," he stammered, his mind spinning in circles. Only when he saw the smirk on her father's lips, he realized that his answer wasn't bad.

He almost looked… approving?

"Roses?" her mother got his attention. Shouto snapped his head towards her, knowing that his cheeks were dusting as peachy pink as the bouquet of flowers he was holding in his hands.

"I… My sister helped me choose them… Because I'm not good with flower meanings and I didn't want to be boring and bring red ones, so… she said peach roses stand for gratitude and…" he swallowed hard, staring at the pretty greenery in his hands, "... I wanted to say thank you because she's always there for me."

The silence greeting him let his brain run wild once again, and he only looked up when a steady hand was set down on his shoulder, locking eyes with her father. Dark grey, a tiny bit lighter than he knew Momo's to be as the older one was leaning forward a little so he wouldn't be towering over him anymore.

"You're more of a romantic than you seem, aren't you?"

Shouto gulped.

This was going to be a long, long wait.

"Ari, this doesn't work, does it?" Momo cried, pulling at the hem of her pink skirt, the purple blouse that she'd bunched into the waistband of it, "Purple and pink? How old am I? Nine?"

Shouto and her were going on a date today. On a real, complete date. To see the cherry blossoms. Her wardrobe selection was a pure fail as even her basic understanding of matching colors stood upside down.

There wasn't even a reason for her to be this nervous, but it'd been so long since they'd had real quality time for themselves in between school and internships and living in dormitories-

She really missed him.

"Young lady, how about the white blouse?" the grey haired maid answered thoughtfully, holding up the ruffled blouse.

"I… I can't wear white," she shook her head, feeling her cheeks heat up right away, "It's… It's too see-through."

Too see-through for her special secret plan.

The blue eyes woman crossed her arms in front of her chest, raising an eyebrow at her.

"See-through, hm?" the older woman mocked Momo playfully.

"I'm… I've… I've prepared something, so… no white," she stammered, "maybe the black top?"

"Or the beige one? It's not see-through but won't let you overheat if you go out into the sun."

"Yes!" Momo's eyes widened before she clapped her hands together, quickly pulling the purple shirt over her head and turning around to receive the other.

"You want to seduce your fiancée?" she was greeted when Ari handed her the beige fabric.

"I-" Momo quickly pulled it towards her chest, realizing how out of it she'd been once again. She couldn't understand how nervous she was when Shouto and her had been on dates before, when they'd done so many things together, been through so much together- and how embarrassed she was at being discovered by her maid that already thought they were… active .

But… when there was already a person that knew… Should she take her chance and ask? She couldn't talk to Jirou about things like this and especially not her mom, that would be just… weird .

"Is it… Is it normal… Well, you know, since he's been in the hospital, we haven't done… anything, in that direction. Is it… Is it okay to… crave?" Momo looked at the soft fabric in her hands as she knew she wouldn't be able to keep eye contact with the woman that'd practically raised her.

"Mh," Ari started, and Momo knew her to sound thoughtful, making sure her answer was well-crafted, "You want him?"

Momo nodded, swallowing around the lump in her throat. It was… This was so awkward, she really shouldn't have asked. It was definitely weird, she didn't know why her mind and body were so fixated on him, or rather the lack of touch. Sure, he'd been afraid of intimacy, but they'd long foregone that, and they were still kissing and touching but not… not in that way. She also didn't want to pressure him into doing something he wasn't ready for, but they'd done it before, so… Was the fear of it all going wrong really this strong?

But it's been four months!

"It's normal," Ari smiled at her and Momo's eyes widened slightly, "You're young, and you discovered the feeling of uniting not just your souls, but your bodies as well. You told me he was afraid of intimacy, and you did it despite it, showing me that the bond between you is incredibly strong," Momo nodded quietly, knowing her words to be true, "It's alright to miss this feeling."

Biting her lip, Momo started to smile, "So that's how it is?"

"Are you being careful?" her maid asked, "Since…you're… "

"Of course," Momo pulled the blouse over her head, finally putting it on as she smiled solemnly, "We're… I don't think we're ready to be parents yet."

Her maid smiled at her, nodding carefully while the raven haired girl fixed the way the fabric bunched at the waistband of her pink skirt.

Then the bell rang.

"Not yet, I'm not ready-" she stammered, quickly looking into the mirror to see the mess that she had to call her hair as she hadn't even put on makeup or anything-

She let go of a long breath, inhaling deeply afterwards. It was going to be alright. There was no reason to be nervous.

They could finally spend some time together, and that was all that mattered. Not what they were going to do afterwards, nor how perfectly planned out everything was-

There were only two things that mattered.

They were in love, and they'd find their way, no matter how.

That she was sure of.

"So, what do you like to do in your free time?" her mother asked, smiling politely as they'd taken place in the tea room or whatever it was called. There was a small dark wooden table that built the center of the room while he was sitting on the tiny sofa, next to her father who was almost a tiny bit too close to him yet he didn't dare scoot away. He had to make a good impression, after all, somehow.

Shouto was still holding the bouquet of flowers, knowing that his hands were shaking a little.

He wasn't nervous because he was going on a date with Momo. Okay, maybe a little, but the true thing he had been afraid of was exactly this. Being alone with her parents as they asked him questions to which he didn't know any answers to.

"I don't… I don't really have many things to do," he answered honestly, "I enjoy Momo's company, and… I played card games with a friend once."

The raven haired woman in front of him tilted her head slightly before she nodded understanding, her smile wavering for a split second, "You're setting your all on becoming a hero, aren't you?"

It was only a short moment that he hesitated, nodding at her question, "I'm going to be a hero who protects those who can't do so themselves. I know… I know what it's like, to need a hand to get up after falling and… I don't want anyone else to feel like this."

Silence greeted him once again and he nervously looked back and forth between both of her parents. The smile on her father's face looked so sad . Shouto couldn't understand why.

"I need to thank you, Shouto," the black haired man started, and Shouto's eyes widened as he realized that he'd used his first name, "Momo… always wanted to become a hero. But… a hero's life is dangerous and short and we… we couldn't support that, not really. We wanted her to be safe and take over the family business or become a housewife or just anything but a person to get herself in danger to protect others."

Flustered, Shouto blinked, not fully understanding what he meant-

"She's always had a mind of her own, you know," Momo's father smiled, looking at the unlit fireplace at the side of the room, "We raised her strictly, her mother more so than me, but we did so to grant her a life in which she could be happy, which is pretty ironic, isn't it, when we already knew we'd married her of to the son of a strange and mean hero? No matter what we would've done, our baby would've ended up entangled into heroism."

"I don't-"

"You made her strong when she was wavering," Shouto got dizzy for a moment as his mind went blank, trying to catch up to the words, "No matter what we would've done, she would've ended up in danger sooner or later."

"It's not like I-"

"With you, I don't need a promise that you'll protect her. I know you'll try , but the thing that's substantial is that you give her the strength to protect herself."

Shouto swallowed.

"How?" In which way?

"You are her hero, and even though she might've been a fan of All Might once upon a time, it was only you that she looked up to. You saved her, and gave her the chance to do the same for you," the lump in Shouto's throat only got bigger as he nodded hesitantly, unsure of himself still. It wasn't really that special, all he'd done was tell her that he'd voted for her-

"You are each other's heroes, and I know that together, you'll be unstoppable."

Un...stoppable?

Yeah.

That was a good way of putting it.

A small smile found its way to Shouto's lips.

"I'm very sorry we've been this… cold to you in the beginning, as all we'd seen was this contract that was going to take our daughter from us, as well as the man that we'd signed it with. We weren't ready to accept you at all, even when we saw how happy she was the morning after she'd stayed with you, and even though you did make her cry-" Shouto locked eyes with the dark gaze of his future father-in-law, "I've never seen her as happy. She's a hero, and she's in love, and there's nothing more we ever could've wanted for her. So… thank you, Shouto, for giving her the world she deserves."

Letting go a shaky breath, Shouto tried to keep himself calm as he was reminded of the worlds he'd told her so long ago-

Had he… Had he really done so? Was he really… Was he really giving her the world he deserves?

"That's because he is my world," a voice interrupted them, and he looked up to see the most beautiful being in this universe, standing in the doorway, a small bag in hand as the colors she was wearing reminded him of cherry blossoms. Her raven hair was neatly tucked behind one of her ears, the loose braid falling over her right shoulder. Onyx orbs locked with his as he could sense her bright smile in the glimmer that lit up her eyes.

He was… her world?

Well, who was he to judge, when he could only give it back?

Clearing his voice, Shouto jumped up from where he was sitting, righting the blue shirt he was wearing before nodding at her parents. Her mother gestured for him to go, and he quickly walked towards her, stopping right in front of her as he awkwardly held out the flowers, "I… Thank you, Momo."

Her smile was just as bright as she chuckled, taking the bouquet out of his hands to look at it closely. After she examined it, she leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his cheek, "Thank you very much, Shouto."

"Hi," he whispered nervously, knowing he should've started with that, yet it wasn't too surprising as all about their relationship had been the wrong way around. He lost himself in her beautiful eyes, and he couldn't find the way back.

"Hi," her voice was a tiny breath of the wind, and he couldn't withstand wrapping her in his arms. Slowly, carefully, his arms snaked around her as he buried his face in her neck. She held him close, and he could hear her rapid heartbeat.

"Am I really…" he whispered, muffled by the fabric of her blouse, "... your world?"

"Yes," she nodded, "But if you say it like that… You're way more than just that."

He breathed into her shoulder, tightening his arms around her waist.

"Love you," he mumbled, feeling the soft vibrations as she chuckled.

"I love you too."

Slowly, he took a step back, taking in the way a soft blush had settled on her cheeks, dusting them a soft pink. He wanted to kiss her, but he knew he'd get his chance when they weren't standing in front of her parents that'd just made clear that they didn't hate him-

It was almost suspicious how well everything was going.

"Well, you two lovebirds, I guess we can send you off for now," her mother interrupted, and Shouto snapped his head around to look at the raven haired woman that still smiled at them in a polite manner, yet he could swear there was a hint of warmth hidden in the way her eyes crinkled, "I'll tell Ari to ready another guest room."

"That's not necessary," Momo answered the older woman, and Shouto couldn't do anything but blink as his mind registered that his fiancée had just told her parents that he wouldn't need his own room.

It'd been a while since they'd last slept in the same bed. Of course they did, from time to time, when he fell asleep while they studied together or when they cuddled on his futon on Sundays after they'd visited his mother. But… this was… He didn't know what it was.

"Wh-" her father started, his eyes widening, "You-" he sighed deeply, closing his eyes, "I see."

Yeah, Shouto had absolutely no idea what they had just discussed, but he guessed it didn't matter when Momo thanked her father, quickly hugging him and her mom. He just stood there, a little out of it until her mother smiled at him, gesturing to join them.

As soon as he stepped closer, he was pulled into the hug that would've been so awkward had it been before, and yet it seemed so… natural that he couldn't seem to care about any fears.

In this moment, he couldn't help but feel that weird sense of acceptance reside in his heart even after they'd long let go.

Maybe he hadn't messed up after all.

"Be home before it's dark!" her father yelled after them as they walked away from the front door. Momo couldn't stop herself from turning around and waving at him, "See you later, dad!"

As soon as she heard the door close, she interlaced her fingers with Shouto's. He smirked at her, leaving her to realize that her legs were going weak once again.

Her parents had accepted him!

She hadn't heard all of it, but she understood what conclusion they'd come to nevertheless. There was nothing more she could wish for.

His smile was warm and beautiful when he held her hand she knew she was way too giddy, jumping more than walking.

"Where are we going to see the cherry blossoms?" she asked, grinning widely, "Do you have any more plans? It's not like it matters, I'm sure we'll find our way-"

"It's alright, Momo," he interrupted her mumbling, tightly squeezing her hand, "You can calm down a little, but you don't need to, of course, I like hearing you talk-"

"I know, but…" she started chuckling uncontrollably, "We're being so awkward, aren't we?"

"I don't know," he blinked at her, "but this feels like a first date all over again."

"But it's not," she stopped in her tracks, leaving him to do the same as she was still holding his hand. When he turned towards her fully, she realized how much he'd grown once again. How he towered over her even though they'd almost the same height before. The way his beautiful, perfectly split locks of red and white fell into his face.

"This is not our first date," her voice answered without her full knowledge, "Our first was a training session back at your house. Our second was on Christmas Eve where you proposed to me and-" she took a deep breath, "I love you."

"I know," his smile was lopsided as he leaned down to her, pressing a soft little kiss to the tip of her nose, "I just… I just want you to be happy, with me."

"You make me happy, Shouto, no matter where we're going," in this storm of a world, "I'll be right by your side."

It was the one and only truth.

"Good," he nodded, squeezing her hand tightly, "I hope you know it's the same for me. We can still be spontaneous, can't we?"

"Of course, I know," she whispered, and when she looked at him like that, she realized why this… Why all of this was so awkward-

She let go of his hand, quickly snaking her arms around his neck as she tiptoed, gently placing her lips on the corner of his mouth, just like she'd done after he proposed to her before they'd even kissed that icy winter day.

From the way his chest vibrated, she understood that he was trying to hold back laughter, turning his head around slightly to catch her lips.

This was it. That was what she'd missed even though it hadn't been long since they'd last kissed. But it was different, now, when they were all alone, calm and well while they were on break and she could finally, truly relish in the feeling. His hands were gently placed on her hips, moving his thumbs in circular motions.

Yes. He was hers, truly hers, without any holding back when they knew their fragile little house of cards could always be breaking down again. She couldn't help but be optimistic, as the things that'd broken them before seemed so small when they were this strong.

And his love flooded her veins as they moved in their own slow and practiced rhythm. This was love. Absolutely, in every way, and she wouldn't stop this for any riches or success in this world-

He was her world, her fortune and love.

No matter how much this world set them on flames, they would never burn.

They would soar, they would fly, and if they were bound to crash... then so be it.

There was no reason to be afraid, no reason to be awkward. This world was weak, but they were strong.

And when they let go, and she locked eyes with aqua and stone, she couldn't help but change her statement a little.

Her knees were weak too.

But she guessed that was alright.

The houses, mansions and gardens passed them by quickly as the bus sped over the roads.

He held her hand, gently setting it down on his leg as he concentrated on the warmth radiating from her. It wasn't that his own was cold, yet… there was a certain sense of comfort he could only get from her.

That was weird, in a way, and yet it's the normal thing as he'd fallen for her remorselessly.

He understood what she'd meant. It's been way too long that they had such quality time to spend with each other, and he'd been a fool for letting his nerves win the better of him.

Looking to his right, he analyzed the way her soft, perky nose dusted a slight pink as she caught him staring.

"You're gorgeous," he whispered, and a bright smile found its way to her lips.

"Thank you," she nodded, making him happy as she didn't try to negate the compliment.

His thumb circled over the back of her hand, and she felt the cool of the silver and diamond snowflake underneath his fingertip. They were engaged. Their marriage had been arranged, and they had never been expected to fall in love.

They had a knack for doing things the wrong way around, hadn't they, when they fell in love right from the start and the only thing they were not was married.

It was better like this. They got to know each other better with every day that passed. Even when they were stressed, training or studying for finals, it was in the short moments they had together that he found comfort in. She was his hero, the woman he loved and the one that knew him better than he ever could himself.

He'd never shown her his scar, though. The scar that'd remind them of their first failure, their first crash. Of course it wasn't a bad thing per say, yet he was nervous about her reaction. That was… That was the reason he hadn't dared to touch her since. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to lay down his armor to show her the consequences of his mistake. He had to, one day. And he wanted to, too.

It was weird for him. To want. Craving touch, craving comfort and love… was strange. But it was there, and he didn't know what to do about it.

"Do I… Do I have something in my face?" she held a hand in front of her face and he rapidly shook his head. He looked into eyes as dark as onyx crystals, taking in the way her long lashes curved as she blinked and couldn't get himself to look away whatever he did.

Time seemed to stand still, as they were all alone in their own little bubble of love, and-

"That's… That's our stop, isn't it?" he turned to look out the window at her words and nodded as he recognized the sign, leaving her to get up quickly as they stumbled to get out of the bus.

And as soon as they were outside, she broke out in laughter.

The cherry trees behind her, the sun already on the way to the horizon, dipping her in light as her beauty blended into the scenery so well he had to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming.

He was not, in fact.

He let go of a long breath, took in her smile and the happy sounds she made as he knew none of it could ever be played and he realized that she'd said the truth.

She was with him, and she was happy.

And whereas he would've never believed this to be true if you'd asked him before he'd met her-

His answer would've been no.

"Why is that we're almost always missing our stops when we're together?" she beamed at him, brighter than the sun.

Because you're the only thing I can concentrate on, he thought, smiling at her lopsidedly.

His heart was skipping beats again and he knew it'd never stop as long as he was with her. Well, if he was going to die because of it, it'd surely be worth it.

"I don't know," he answered, holding out a hand for her to take. Momo tilted her head, looking at him so intensely he couldn't refrain from wondering what she was thinking about. She quickly crossed the distance between them, interlacing her fingers with his before pressing a quick peck to his knuckles.

"Let's go."

It was obvious to say they weren't the luckiest people, wasn't it?

The flowers, the way the light pink blossoms bloomed on the cherry trees was beautiful, of course, Momo noted as she grinned at knowing that spring had finally come.

After a long, long winter, this day of spring did well in telling her that maybe, after all, their time to wander in a snowfield had passed.

He was holding her hand, making sure they were right next to each other, and the only time he let go was when she'd found a fountain in the middle of the trees, and it was fascinating how there didn't seem to be many people-

It might be because of the clouds that'd long covered the sky, or the thunder in the distance, but she couldn't care less about those as she knew she'd be safe when she was with him.

"Will you take a photo of the fountain for me?" she asked grinning, pointing at it. He fished his phone out of his pocket.

The intricate, beautiful patterns in the white stone seemed so incredibly pretty, and when he called her name, she span around to him.

"Hey!" She'd wanted a picture of the fountain, not her, after all. Yet she couldn't stop being giddy as he smirked at her.

"Why should I take a picture of a fountain when you're much more fascinating?" he raised his eyebrows, looking at her, challenging her to protest him.

She couldn't.

Not because she thought herself to be fascinating, that was something she'd only recently learned from him, but because she couldn't argue with him when his gaze made her feel worth a thousand stars.

Biting her lip, she forgot about replying as the loud sound of thunder rippling through the sky let her eyes widen.

They were out in the open, were they crazy? Oh lord, her mother would get a seizure if she knew she was out here in-

The rain.

It had only taken a split second before the water fell from the sky, and she quickly searched for his hand, holding the other over her forehead to protect herself from the rain.

He pulled her towards him, and she couldn't feel anything but safe as she stared into the eyes of a boy, a man , she trusted so much she forgot all about the way they were getting drenched as he claimed her lips with his.

That's the most cliché thing, wasn't it? Kissing in the rain?

But the way the cherry trees around them rustled in the wind, the way the drops of water fell to the ground and the way his warmth flooded her veins were so much more beautiful than it seemed in those books she'd read when she was younger.

It didn't matter that they'd be drenched and cold and were still in pretty prominent danger of getting hit by lightning - He held her close, moved his lips in a solid, passionate rhythm with hers and she let her hand sink, placing it neatly on his shoulder.

Wasn't it weird, how self-deprecating and sad she had been, when she could've been held like this? Maybe it had been necessary, so she could end up here.

Yes.

Whatever they went through to get here…

It was worth it.

They may not be the luckiest in terms of weather… But they made their own luck..

"Let's find some shelter!" he yelled through the rain, and Momo agreed right away.

They were running through the rain, trying to find a place under which they'd be at least a little safer-

Well, she'd almost call it fate when she realized where they'd ended up.

"Good evening, just the two of you?" the red haired waitress greeted them.

"Yeah," he nodded, making Momo blink at him in wonder. He… didn't know?

"We've been here before, haven't we?" he asked her when the waitress turned around to walk them to one of the red leather booths, the black and white tiles underneath their feet way more familiar than she ever would've thought.

"Yo, Todoroki, Yaoyorozu," a familiar voice greeted them, and Momo quickly looked towards the table in the other corner.

She couldn't believe her eyes.

"Awase? Setsuna?" she blinked at them, before she looked back at Shouto, then to the two of them again.

This-

What-

How ?

"Fellow recommended students," the dark green haired girl laughed, waving at them from the distance as she'd turned around in her seat, "Ain't that a coincidence?"

"It's-" Momo cleared her voice, still a bit confused to how this was possible, "It's nice to see you!"

"Hi," Shouto said, awkwardly lifting his hand as a greeting.

The waitress came back, holding two menus in her hand as she smiled at them. Quickly, Momo nodded as she saw the recognition in the woman's eyes, "Take a seat, I'll be right back."

It was good, warm and safe in here as she took place opposite her fiancée, quickly taking his hand as she realized how cold her own had gotten. It was practical to have a portable heater, wasn't it?

He engulfed both of her hands in his, holding them tightly as she slowly stopped shivering.

They were drenched from head to toe.

"Towel?" she asked Shouto quietly, yet he shook his head before she saw steam emit from his left side and when there'd been water dripping down his forehead before, it disappeared completely, leaving him dried perfectly.

That was unfair, wasn't it?

"You might need one," he smirked instead. This little-

She tried to sigh, yet it she couldn't hide the laughter that tried to escape her.

He was so different from her, and she loved all of it even if it drove her insane sometimes.

Just like his habits of interrupting teachers or speaking with his mouth full-

"You're… ridiculous, " she hissed through her teeth, trying to sound at least a little angry. His smirk turned into a full grin.

"Should I warm you up?" he asked smugly, sending more redness to her cheeks and when she wondered how he could say something like that with a straight face, she saw the slight hint of a blush on his nose.

"It's… It's alright," she answered quietly, her grin feeling so prominent on her face as she made a towel out of her upper leg, pulling it from under her skirt. She carefully placed it on her shoulders so her hair wouldn't drip onto her blouse anymore (which was just as ridiculous as her clothing was just as drenched). It was warm inside, though, and she didn't think she'd be getting sick at this time of the year.

Shouto tilted his head at her, "I don't want you to get sick."

There it was. Well… She could make new clothing, theoretically, but it wasn't good for the economy-

"You can have my shirt," he seemed to read her mind, "I'm wearing another under it, of course."

"Well-" Would she really be stupid enough to reject his offer?

He shook his head, quickly starting to unbutton the light blue shirt he was wearing, quickly shrugging it off and handing it to her. It took her a second before she could react as her gaze got caught on those strong arms he showcased with the white tank top he was wearing.

Oh.

Oh .

Blinking, she received the shirt, swallowing hard as she stared way too much. Those were the arms that wrapped around her every chance he got as he held her tight and she couldn't stop herself from calculating if he'd be strong enough to carry her-

Which was pretty ironic, considering he'd finally learned to fight back against more physical opponents like Midoriya and Iida as he'd managed to throw the latter out of the ring during training.

Yes, he could carry her. She wanted him to carry her.

What?

Ugh, she was acting like such a teenager, which was even more ironic because she was, in fact, only sixteen.

"What would you like to drink? Can I get you something to eat?" the waitress asked them, smiling politely, pulling her out of it.

"Well-" Momo looked at her, overwhelmed at being caught at doing nothing but stare, "What kind of tea do you have?"

"Mh," the red haired woman put a finger on her chin in a thoughtful motion, "I'm sure we have black tea, what's it called, Earl Grey?"

"That sounds great!" Momo nodded quickly. That would be good at keeping her awake, as well as warming her up when they were still in public.

"So, one Earl Grey tea," the waitress turned towards Momo`s fiancée, "What can I do for you?"

"Shou, I'm gonna go change," the raven haired girl whispered, getting Shouto's attention, and she only realized she'd given him a nickname when his eyes widened. She mirrored his expression, awkwardly getting up, bowing at the waitress slightly.

"Wait-" he interrupted her quick fleeing, "What do you want to eat?"

"Ehm-" she tried to come up with something, "You order, I trust you."

Her smile was probably nothing more than a grimace as he nodded at her slowly and she turned around to hide herself in the bathroom to come up with a plan to get out of this awkward situation.

It was after she'd left for the bathroom and he'd ordered food for them that he realized the jukebox that was standing at the wall next to the bar. The American style diner looked just like he remembered it, even though he hadn't let anyone know he recognized the red leather booths, the old style the waiters were dressed in or the way her eyes widened when she looked at him.

Weird, wasn't it? That they ended up here, where everything had gone wrong once before?

Somehow it was worse when she wasn't with him, when he sat there alone with his thoughts.

And that was when he heard the guitar strings play their first chords.

You sheltered me from harm
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, set me free

He leaned back into his seat, staring at his hands as he faintly recognized the words of a song he knew to be old-

He couldn't help but realize how much it resonated in his mind, fell into place with the memories of a raven haired girl he loved.

Swallowing hard, he looked around the room as the waitress brought the two different types of tea they'd ordered, setting the water with the teabags in them down on the table.

She'd disappeared as fast as she'd served, and he was left alone with his mind once again.

His mouth went dry as he knew those words, this little song to be exactly what could've happened to them. That they were exactly what he'd have to sing now if it weren't for Momo holding on to him when he'd long let go.

He was such an idiotic, self-deprecating fool.

And I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again

That was the moment she entered the room, righting the light blue shirt she'd gotten from him. She looked incredible, having opened her braid and with the slight curls framing her face-

Her eyes found his right away. When the look in her gaze turned questioning, he got up and met her halfway.

"Dance with me," he whispered, holding out his hand for her to take, knowing the ring he was wearing glimmered in the light.

"I-" she stammered, hesitating for a second as she looked around the room, knowing they weren't alone and-

They'd never danced before.

He couldn't even really dance.

"Please," his voice broke, seemingly making her understand as she nodded, a slight smile on her lips.

She'd given him a nickname. Letting him know of her adoration and even if she was embarrassed by it… he didn't mind, not at all.

Momo took his hand, and he gently pulled her towards him, as they moved with the rhythm. His hand on her hip, hers on his shoulder, as if they were about to Waltz or whatever it was called, he couldn't remember- but they didn't, they were silently following the unspoken words, the soft chords of the guitar surrounding them as he couldn't look away from onyx crystals.

You taught me how to love
What it's of, what it's of
You never said too much
But still you showed the way
And I knew from watching you
Nobody else could ever know
The part of me that can't let go

Her eyes widened in recognition as he knew she listened as well, the grip around his hand tightening. He let go of a long breath, knowing the words he wanted to say inside his head and yet they just wouldn't come out-

How could it be that a song expressed more than a hundred million words?

The chorus started once again, and even though the music turned upbeat, even though it sounded so happy and lively there he lost the ability to smile. How could he, after all?

That… The man singing this song, that could've been him. He could've lost her completely, if she hadn't held on-

No. He wouldn't have lost her.

He'd pushed her away all by himself, thinking it was for the better but why did it hurt so badly?

Is there someone you know
You're loving them so
But taking them all for granted?
You may lose them one day
Someone takes them away
And they don't hear the words you long to say

His breath got caught in his throat.

"Shouto?" she whispered, getting his attention back as he could see the way her gaze had turned glassy.

Oh no, was he going to make her cry once again? But her dad had said she was happy with him, so why-

"You didn't lose me, I'm still here."

Her words were like a knife through his heart, leaving him breathless with the truth-

Just how… Just how could he say what was on his mind?

"You can't push me away," her voice was like the ocean breeze, mending the cut right away when he knew how dumb it was to hurt over something so far back, "You're my first love, and the only one I'll ever be with. One day, we'll be married. One day, I'll gift you children-"

"I know… but…" he swallowed hard before he cleared his voice, "... it's still somewhere in the back of my mind. In that moment, when I knew that I was dying, I knew that I would've… I would've given everything I had, just to spend another moment with you."

She held him tight, burying her face in the crook of his neck as she let go of a breath so shaky he could feel the vibration through her chest that was pressed to his.

"It… It was the same for me," she pulled back a little so she could look at him, taking her hand from his to place it on his cheek. He couldn't help but notice how cold it was still. When she smiled at him, her eyes still so sad even though he knew of the love transferred through her eyes, "Shouto?"

"Yeah?" his voice was nonexistent, yet he knew she understood as she took a deep breath, less shaky this time.

"It's alright to feel like this sometimes," she opened her heart and mind to him, "It's alright to be sad because of what happened in the past. I'm… I'm happy, yet also sad to know how much you regret what happened, but… I'm here. You didn't lose me, because you lived to make it right again."

Her thumb on his cheek traced the outline of his jaw before she looked back into his eyes.

"We're alive, Shou," her voice broke.

Swallowing, he nodded once again.

"We're alive," he confirmed, realizing how a soft smile found the way to his lips.

From the glimmer in her eyes he judged that it was the same for her.

"Alright, come on, guys," a familiar voice said loudly as the song changed, and he finally realized that they'd had another heart to heart in public, "'Nuff sadness for now."

Setsuna was standing next to the jukebox, having thrown in a few coins as she gave them a thumbs up and a bright, toothy grin.

Laughter filled the restaurant as Awase wrapped his arm around the green haired girl's shoulder and the first chords of another song started started, leaving Momo to tap her foot in the rhythm.

Shouto looked at his fiancée next to him and how she smiled at him,the glimmer in her eyes having found their way back home.

Sun is shinin' in the sky
There ain't a cloud in sight
It's stopped rainin' everybody's in a play
And don't you know
It's a beautiful new day

Yeah.

Shouto understood.

A new day had come, and even if it was raining outside, even if a storm dared to take them apart-

The sun was revelling in the existence of a raven haired girl next to him, whose hand he took once again, promising to never let go.

He'd made his mistakes, but it was time to let go of those, for he didn't want to ruin another of the treasured moments he had with her.

Letting go of a long breath, he leaned in and pecked her cheek, knowing that his sun would never set as long as she was with him.

Because her beam was even brighter.

Mister blue, you did it right
But soon comes mister night creepin' over
Now his hand is on your shoulder
Never mind I'll remember you this

I'll remember you this way

"I can't even say how much I love chicken nuggets," she sighed happily as she was munching away on her food, closing her eyes as it must've been forever since she'd last had something so sinful and greasy.

Shouto laughed, and she locked gazes with him right away, witnessing how serious he'd turned in a second, "More than me?"

Momo choked on her laughter, laying it down to fake a thoughtful look, "Mh… " she looked back and forth between her plate and the boy in front of her, "No," she concluded, "I don't think I can love anything more than you."

Oh, that sounded so, so cheesy-

He choked on his water, coughing a few times, "Ehm," he tried, "I'm glad… I'm glad to have gotten you the right dish then."

"Of course," she nodded, taking her chicken again to continue eating.

"Oups," he whispered when his shoe had accidentally brushed against her sandal, "Sorry."

She caught his leg with her feet, though, holding it in place. Reaching out her free hand, she stole two of his fries, quickly putting them in her mouth, all while he followed her every move.

He didn't say anything.

Again, she reached out, but before she could reach his plate he pinned her hand to the table.

"Your fries… are my fries?" she whispered questioningly.

"Of course," he smirked, pushing his plate towards her more while he took the rest of his burger in his other hand.

Oh.

So he… just wanted to hold her hand?

She felt the warmth spread on her cheeks once again, turning her hand around in his, holding it just the way they'd done the first time.

His warmth spread through her right away, and she relished in the feeling of his calloused, rough hands on her smaller ones.

Stealing more fries, she couldn't stop the smile on her lips as she knew he liked to see that she was eating well.

"Dessert?" he asked as soon as their plates were finished.

She laughed in reply.

He knew her best after all.

"We should… We should run, shouldn't we?" she whispered when they were standing at the glass doors of the diner.

The rain wasn't softly rattling as it hit the ground-

This was a storm, a complete storm as she could hear the thunder. It wasn't dangerous enough she'd decide to stay here, but it definitely wasn't safe either.

So… An umbrella wouldn't be the best as it'd only attract lightning-

"The bus station is a ten minute walk away," his smile was lopsided as he stared at the directions on his phone, "but… but the subway station is around the corner."

Her silence told him everything as his chest constricted.

"Let's…" her voice sounded a little hoarse, "Let's take the subway."

He nodded quietly, putting his phone back into his pant pockets.

Quickly, he took her hand, and before she could complain he pulled her forward, out in the rain as he started running. She was stumbling behind him for a second as an exasperated 'hey!' left her mouth.

Before she could slip or fall, he caught her and she pouted at him as they were standing in the rain and her hair started sticking to her face once more. Well, sandals weren't the best for running, were they?

"Gotcha," he smirked at her, and she couldn't hold back her laughter as he threw her over his shoulder.

"I'm wearing a skirt! I'm a strong and independent woman!" she yelled in the rain and he couldn't stop himself from chuckling either. He knew she was, but she couldn't do that. Freezing the ground beneath his feet, he surfed to the next corner.

Her laughter warmed his heart even though they were both drenched when they finally reached the subway station. Setting her down at the stairs, he took in her pout as she righted her skirt.

It was fascinating, really, when he was here, standing in the rain while she was already under the cover of the little shelter that was built over the entrance to the station. Symbolic almost, yet he didn't want to think into it too much as he could only smile at how adorable she looked, even after her makeup was slowly running away in the rain.

"Why…" she pouted, faking annoyance as she put her hair behind her ear, the raven strands falling into her face a split second after that, "Why are you like this?"

"What'cha mean? Smart? Intelligent?"

"That's basically the same thing," she laughed, swatting his shoulder while he finally stepped under the shelter and took her hand so they could walk down the stairs together, "I mean… adorable."

"I'm not adorable, I'm dangerous," he smirked at her, getting her to snort as a reply.

Her shocked expression at the sound she'd just made did nothing but make him grin even wider. "You didn't hear a thing!" she whispered, looking around to make sure no one else had heard how she'd broken all of her manners and etiquette once again.

"What didn't I hear?" he asked quietly, looking at her thoughtfully.

"That I- Oh, " she understood that he'd already forgotten about whatever may have just transpired. She smiled at him so softly he wondered if it was even humanly possible to be this lovable. Of course it was, he had all proof here.

When she stopped in her tracks and her smile faded, he knew that their scars weren't fully healed and would probably never be.

He swallowed before he took in the way the flickering lights lit up the light green tiles while there were still a few signs of construction work in the corners.

His back started to hurt, somehow.

It was like time was standing still, and he didn't know what to-

She span around and kissed him.

"Momo-" he wanted to start, yet he didn't know what to say and it didn't matter when she was cutting off his words with the soft touch of her lips.

There was nothing but them, nothing but their love even if they were at the place it all went so horribly wrong. Their actions spoke for themselves, when they were alone in here and he wrapped his arms around her waist, catching her when she made a little jump so he could carry her. She held herself up with her arms around his neck as she gently tucked her legs around his hips.

"Momo-" he started again, knowing it was a terrible idea to do… whatever they were doing, right here, when they were pretty much in a public place-

But what were they doing, really? They were just kissing. Was that so wrong?

His hands holding her up by her hips gently gripped and caressed the softness of her flesh that he could feel through the skirt.

That was also when he seemed to understand what it meant that she didn't want her parents to ready another room.

As gently, carefully as he could, he leaned her against the wall, and she pulled herself up further as the tip of her tongue begged for entrance. He would never say no. Their tongues danced a dance of their own, no fight for dominance as they knew they were equal.

He loved her, and she loved him.

This world was a storm, relentless and cold, trying to rip everything they knew apart.

But...

Even the strongest storm would never break the stones to its feet.

They were the stones.

And they were unbreakable.

"I think we missed our train," she whispered when they let go, the loud sound of the subway rushing away pulling them back into the present.

"Of course we did," he smiled, his voice hoarse as he was out of breath.

She went quiet, pressing another peck to the corner of his mouth. He could feel the curves of her body, the strong heaving of her chest as she breathed deeply. They were so close, and he couldn't stop the blush that arose to his cheeks as he felt a certain urge and fire in his belly.

He shouldn't… feel that way.

Should he?

"We should…" he stammered, only knowing that they had to reach her home as his mind and heart were battling a fight of love and sanity, "...get going?"

"We… We should," she nodded, burying her face at his collar while her hands caressed the back of his head.

She did not make his situation any better.

"Momo?" his voice forsake him, and it wasn't like he even knew what to say as he felt blood flow into regions he knew it wasn't supposed to go while they were in… a subway station.

Everything seemed to move so… slow.

She pulled back to look at him, her eyes filled with warmth.

Her hand wandered around until she could cup his cheek, lovingly tracing patterns into the soft stubble he knew to be there by that time of the day.

He didn't understand this, any of this, but he righted the way he was holding her as she seemed to slide down the wall a little, and he couldn't look away from the beauty in her grace-

She kissed him again.

Slowly, carefully, as if he would break with just a little more pressure, a breath of a wind put against his lips and he didn't dare to move.

For this moment should never end.

"I love you," he breathed out against her lips, and he could almost feel the chills running down her spine as the beautiful gaze of onyx gems worth so much more than the world locked with his.

She smiled, another little circle traced on his cheek before while she nodded. The tips of her fingers seemed so soft, the way her warmth radiated through the flimsy fabric of her skirt kept him from going inside while driving him crazy nonetheless-

She was an angel. One he'd never thought he'd deserve, and he didn't say that because of the theatrical halo or surreality, no, he thought so because there was nothing else she could be as she saved his mind and heart and live-

She'd found him in a terrible place, and she'd shown him the light and the warmth of a world he'd never known to be so bright.

Oh, he loved her so much. His chest was constricting, he was dizzy, but this one thing, this one simple fact was all that was left in his body as he pressed his lips to hers.

He was worried that this fragile, beautiful, ethereal moment would end as soon as he let her go, and even though he knew there was nothing they could do… he had to imprint this into his memory, forever, so there'd be no chance he'd ever forget it.

It wasn't an option, he'd done that so many times and all it'd brought was hurt.

"I love you too," she answered quietly, almost impossible to hear for and yet he heard those few little words that he yearned to hear. They were the truth, they were the one and only truth and the only thing that really, truly mattered.

No matter what this world threw upon them… as long as they loved each other, it'd be fine.

Letting go of a long, long breath, he pulled his hands back, slowly setting her down until she was standing on her own feet. She'd let go of his cheek, yet her affection didn't need touch as her presence alone soothed his storm of a mind.

"Let's…" he whispered, "Let's go home."

"Home," she confirmed.

Notes:

And that was what I lovingly call the "Disaster date" because almost everything goes wrong, but it's beautiful nonetheless!

I really hope you enjoyed it, also the way they find closure in what happened at the subway station, and him being open about what he's feeling and yeah... I really hope you liked it, this long beast of a chapter! :)

I can tell you the start of the sequel, which will be called "Soar (I will too)" and the first chapter will be released on June 17th, on Day 1 of Fluff week! For further updates, feel free to follow me on tumblr or subscribe to the series~

There's also a special I have planned for the time the last chapter will be released, which will be way sooner than all of us want it to be over, but I'd really be interested in what your favorite scenes of the story were and so on, so feel free to tell me that here in the comments or on tumblr as well :)

Thank you very much, all of you are so awesme and I can't even believe how much this story is loved and supported... please have a beautiful week, everyone :)!

Also, here's the songs I quoted during the diner scene:
Everything I Own - Bread
Mr Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

Chapter 39: Because the night belongs to us (E)

Summary:

Because the Night - Patti Smith

After a long time apart, two molten souls join in the dead of night.

Notes:

Hello! Here we go again~

This chapter is... 8k of making love, so... read... at your own risk? *laughs hysterically* If you want to skip this, after the first interruption line we're done with the steamy stuff and set the stage for next chapter, so... if you want to read that part, feel free to do so. If not... just skip to the end notes :)

Anyway, enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

She carefully rested her head on his shoulder, feeling the way his hand was rubbing soothing circles into the back of hers. Their legs were touching, and she couldn't stop herself from blushing when the memories of them making out in the middle of a subway station they'd went through terrible things in flooded her mind. She wasn't sure if that was a good coping mechanism, or if it was another tragic way they were going to get themselves hurt with in the end-

It couldn't be, when they'd talked it all through, finding closure with what'd happened to them. Yet… it didn't seem completely okay, and now… now that they'd done that she couldn't help but notice how much easier it was to watch the light green tiles pass them by as the subway rushed through stations and tunnels.

The ride was bumpy, and she started shaking when the doors opened, leaving in more of the early spring night's air. A gentle, yet strong arm wrapped around her shoulder to pull her in tightly, leaving her to snuggle into his fire side.

He was warm, and she couldn't get enough of knowing that he wasn't freezing himself. Her love was alive.

And the fire they'd started had begun to consume them whole.

Her free hand wandered further, resting on his knee as she shyly looked up to him. Their gazes locked while he blinked at her. It was obvious… what she wanted, wasn't it?

Slowly, he pressed a short peck to the top of her head, the hand around her shoulder caressing her through the fabric of the blue shirt of his she was wearing.

The short moment of closeness they shared would never be enough, the flames in her chest spreading through her veins like a wildfire as she ached for his touch. There was not a single word spoken, yet she knew she'd have known if he'd rejected her silent proposal. Or… maybe he didn't understand at all, that could be possible as well.

No matter how much went wrong after the last time, there… was no reason for anything to happen now. They were out in the open, wearing their feelings on their sleeves. Their house of cards had no reason to collapse, and even if it did, it'd never be because of the love they shared, late and in the dark of the night.

She really missed feeling his skin on hers, and the pressure of his hand on her arm did nothing but tell her that it wasn't-

That it wasn't enough.

She was ready, and if he was as well-

What could hold them back?

"This is our stop," he cleared his voice, deep and hoarse and sending shivers down her spine. She nodded, lifting her head from his shoulder so they could get up and leave the subway.

She never let go of his hand, holding it tightly as they walked up the stairs and back into the rain, knowing there were only a few blocks until they'd reach her parents' house.

It's not that she tried to rush, but… she wanted to get to her room. Now .

The thunder sounded loudly around them, even though she couldn't make out the lightning that belonged to it, and she nodded when she locked eyes with him.

She wasn't sure if it was even longer than a split second until she hastily pulled out her keys from her little purse, opening the outer gate with shaking hands. Why was she… Why was she like this?

A deep blush formed on her nose as she realized how obvious she was being once again. Oh, she… she didn't know she could be so… so needy .

By the time they'd reached the front door, they were drenched once more, yet neither of them looked like they cared at all as she showed him the way to her bedroom.

The corridors were dark, and she didn't dare turn on the light in fear of waking up her parents or Ari who spent most of her nights in the building-

There was only lightning, occasionally lighting up the hallways. It seemed like forever, while he was holding her hand tightly and the second she was about to push down the handle to open the door to her room, she realized she had no idea if he even- if even wanted her-

She hadn't asked, yet her answer arrived as he cupped her cheek, letting go of her hand in the process as he pushed the door open-

His lips were on hers before they were even inside. She relaxed into the kiss, fumbling to close the door behind her. The light turned on. Their shoes were quickly left behind.

Everything- Everything seemed to happen so fast, and she didn't mind at all, yet his hands on her cheeks were so… so wrong, when she wanted them anywhere but this innocent place.

Her hands cupped his, pulling them away and as he wanted to loosen the kiss, probably to check if everything was alright, she pushed forward, deepening their connection as she set his hands down on her hips. This was-

Still not enough.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself up to wrap her legs around his middle. Strong arms held her up as his hands found the way to hold her up by her upper legs.

When one of them found the way under her skirt, caressing the cold skin there as his fire seemed to infect every last one of her cells that'd been sane or calm before as the warmth felt so incredible, she couldn't stop herself from rutting against him, searching for any kind of friction. Their kiss was only interrupted by a choked moan that he tried to suppress as she noticed his widened eyes.

"Momo-" he didn't seem to know what to say as he never ended the sentence, fiercely grabbing onto her soft flesh as he leaned her against the door and she knew that wasn't the best place to be going at it either.

It didn't really matter, to say it simple, as she nipped at his lips with her tongue, quickly finding refuge in the warmth of his mouth. She was so… so hot and she didn't know what to do to stop the fire as she felt a certain something prod at her womanhood. They hadn't even… They hadn't even shed a single piece of clothing, yet she had to try so hard to suppress the surprised gasp that left her mouth anyway.

To be honest, she'd been ready for a while now, yet- What- What should she do?

She wanted to…

Should she?

Really?

Her mind left her alone as everything kept spinning in circles and she couldn't concentrate on anything but his body on hers. Way too much fabric, there was way too much fabric.

She pulled back slightly to fumble with his belt, trying to open it, yet his hand interrupted her as he set it down on hers, "Momo," his breathing hitched, and he looked like he'd run a marathon in the rain, which they had, actually, "I… Do you want to…" he closed his eyes for a moment, seemingly taking a moment to actually think about what they were doing, "Do you want to go all the way?"

"Yes," she didn't hesitate, even though her voice was nothing but air, "Do you?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded, his cheeks flushed and lips slightly swollen and she couldn't help but kiss him again. Their rhythm was deep, and full of all of the pent up tension and frustration that'd built up after all of the time they'd spent without this-

Why had they put themselves through that torture in the first place?

She had no way of coming up with an answer to that question as he lifted her up, carrying her to the bed, her hair wetly sticking to her back and her chest pressed to his.

Their kiss only broke when he threw her onto the bed, following closely behind to kiss her cheek and jaw and wander downwards. Soft, almost inaudible sounds left her mouth before she pressed a hand to her lips to suppress them. How did he- When did he-

How was this so good?

A soft pain sparked through the side of her throat, leaving her to arch up and into his touch, yet she couldn't reach him fully, and her hands were so useless, covering her mouth as she faintly noted how he unbuttoned the shirt of his she'd been wearing.

Oh, she wasn't patient enough for that-

He gently held her down when she wanted to sit up and simply pull it over her head-

Oh no- Her- Her secret plan-

She didn't know what to do but relish in the anticipation of what he would say. Her center ached so much, and she knew how to give herself relief and yet the only thing she wanted was to feel him.

"I-" she stammered, letting go with her hands, yet they only ended up on the soft material of the comforter underneath her as he pushed the light blue fabric to the sides.

Her gaze locked with his, and his eyes were widened as the flush on his cheeks only spread further down his neck. Aqua and Stone left her speechless.

Slowly, he helped her sit up while he took place in front of her.

"I…" she tried again, swallowing audibly, knowing her cheeks were beet red, "I bought this for you."

He gulped, looking back and forth between the red and white lace that accessorized her bosom. Letting go of a shaky breath, she shed the shirt fully before hesitantly moving her hands to the zipper on the back of her skirt. This was so, so- She felt so exposed, even though she was still wearing clothes and she couldn't even describe how weird this feeling in her belly was.

"You're so…" he started, gaining her attention as he shifted on the bed, seemingly trying find a comfortable position himself as she noticed the tent in his pants, "You're so beautiful, inside and out-" he swallowed again, exhaling long and deep as he lifted his hand to carefully, with just a brush of his fingertips, trace a perfect line from the middle of her collarbones over the valley leading to her breasts. He didn't even fully touch her, and he seemed so hesitant, as if she was going to break if he touched her just a little more intensely.

She pulled down the zipper of her skirt before moving her hands around again, quickly taking his in her own to set them down on her bosom. Even though they were covered, even though there was fabric in between them, she needed to feel-

It wasn't enough.

He leaned forward to kiss her, letting his hands wander down right away and chills went down her spine as his calloused, rough skin caressed hers that was soft and so cold because of the rain.

Her own fidgeted around until she found the hem of his undershirt, or tank top, or whatever, she didn't care, she just wanted it off . Right now.

She stopped in her tracks when she felt his thumbs lock into the waistband of her skirt, and she nodded vigorously when he stopped to look at her. Pulling her up so she was kneeling, he gently pulled it down, gravity doing most of the job, and she heard a quiet "Screw it," before he latched onto the skin right under her breast, obviously leaving marks as her brain turned to mush under his spell.

The sound that escaped her was nothing she could even describe. Somehow, and she couldn't fully recall how, she lost her skirt. Within a split second she was sitting in his lap, furiously pulling on his shirt until he lifted his arms so she could take it off and she was only reminded how tall he'd gotten as she didn't have to lean down by much to kiss him again, throwing her arms around his shoulders to press him into her and his hands settled on her almost naked hips. She felt the bulge in his pants between her legs.

Oh, why was she- she just-

A choked moan left her mouth as she finally took in the friction on her womanhood and the little bundle of nerves that drove her crazy even more.

It. was. not. enough.

It didn't matter that they'd last… joined, so long ago, she just wanted him right them, right there, and there was no doubt in her mind that she was ready.

"Momo-" he choked, "...if you- if you do that, I won't-"

"I need you," she breathed into his ear, almost feeling the chills running down his spine as he shook in her arms. Her hands wandered down his back and-

At that moment, when time seemed to stand still, she felt the uneven skin on his back with the tips of her fingers. She stopped all motion, carefully, slowly realizing what it was that she was feeling. He swallowed hard when he looked at her sheepishly.

"I… I was scared of… of showing you the scar-" he took a deep breath, leaving her to feel his racing heart through their chests, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to- to destroy the mood-"

She kissed him, cutting him off and sealing his lips and pushing against him at the same time.

"Can I… Can I see?" she asked, voice hoarse as she caressed the skin on his back.

It was a moment until he nodded, and she let go of a long breath to somehow calm herself down, yet her plan failed miserably when he kissed her again, the vice grip on her hips keeping her from moving away.

"Momo-" he tried to whisper, yet his voice broke off after the first syllable, "I need you too."

The fire in her heart started again.

He moved his hips against hers, and she buried her face at his neck, the feeling so overwhelming she lost her mind fully and completely.

They shouldn't- Not like this-

Everything seemed to spin as he let himself fall forward to lay her down on the bed. One arm neatly placed next to her head, he tried to open his belt with his other hand, groaning in annoyance as he failed completely.

He let his head fall into the crook of her neck as he went to holding himself up with both elbows.

They… They were so awkward, so… clumsy and yet she couldn't find it in herself to care as she held him tight, kissing his temple.

Taking deep breaths, she tried to gain some sense of self control.

"I'm so useless," he laughed into the crook of her neck, breathing heavily as he settled in between her legs.

"You're not useless," she whispered in reply, caressing the strands of hair in the back of his neck, "We're just… rushing a little too much, aren't we?"

"Yeah," he breathed, lifting his head to press a peck to her cheek before she connected their lips.

Oh, she couldn't even say how much she loved him.

How much she needed him.

"I want to see… the scar," her voice was quiet, as she tried to put a few stray strands of hair out of his face. He gently nodded, smiling at her. His smile alone sent waves of adoration through her chest which somehow managed to make her tear up.

Slowly, he sat up, moving carefully as he was still very visibly pent up from what they'd been doing. She did the same, getting to her knees and realizing that she was actually half naked and she couldn't even recall when she'd shed her clothing.

His legs were crossed as he cleared his voice, looking at her over his shoulder.

Oh.

Letting go of a long, shaky breath, she scooted closer to him. Her mind couldn't catch up to what she was seeing and as a consequence her hand found its way to the top of the scar, right where his shoulder blade stopped. The white skin that was now part of his own had a soft sheen to it. Gently, with just a brush of her fingertips, she traced the outline, realizing how he shuddered underneath her touch.

"You're beautiful," she whispered, laying her hand down flat on the additional part he'd gained, hoping her hands weren't too cold.

"You don't… think it's ugly?" his hoarse voice answered her, sending another knife to her heart as she knew he was hating part of himself once again.

"No," she shook her head even though she knew he couldn't see her, "It's wonderful, because it tells me what we lived through. What you lived through. That you're here with me. All of it."

She choked on her breath as a familiar sting in her eyes started annoying her.

"I love you," he looked away from her, sighing deeply and she let her hands wander around his body, grazing the sides of his Torso, realizing how he shivered as he shifted, trying to get comfortable and she understood what an effect such innocent touches had on his sensitive, untouched skin.

The muscles underneath her hands tensed, and she felt all of the ridges and valleys as she memorized everything she discovered.

"I love you too," she kissed the side of his neck, paying him back for the mark he'd left on her earlier, and she heard him groan, the sound like music in her ears.

Her right hand seemed to follow her wicked thoughts as it traced the hard muscles leading to his abdomen as she scooted even closer until her chest was connected to his back.

"Momo-" he choked on her name for the third time that night while her hands found the way to his belt. She carefully looked over his shoulder when she opened it.

"May I…?" she asked quietly, resting her hands on his abdomen with her fingertips cautiously tracing circles at the waistband of his boxers.

Her nerves were on edge, the fire burning as strong as ever as she waited for his answer, his permission, hopefully-

"You may," he gulped, his voice breaking as he held onto her forearms, the grip turning tighter when she popped the button of his jeans open. She kissed the side of his face, trying to reach his lips until he turned towards her more, yet she only caught the corner of his mouth. Still… it seemed so soft, so innocent, so paradox when her hand was slipping under the waistband of his boxers, past the little tuft of hair until she could finally touch him.

He melted into her, leaning back and shivering as she freed his member by pulling his pants down as far as she could, carefully lifting the fabric so she wouldn't accidentally hurt him with the elastic. She fell in love with the sounds he made when he was so riled up, even though he tried to breathe most of it away-

Remembering all she'd learned about the things and touches he liked, she wrapped her hand around the base of him, firmly moving her hand to the tip and-

She didn't know why but she didn't- She didn't recall him being this… this…

Momo gulped, blinking a few times while feeling the weight in her hand as well as the way he pressed back into her as if she was his anchor in a storm and she couldn't do anything but realize how untouched she felt at the same time.

But she didn't want this to be about her. Not solely her. Even though she didn't have experience either, the person that'd been so reluctant and afraid of touch was him, so she… she wanted to show him that this feeling could be… wonderful.

Slowly, she started moving her hand, down and back to the tip and she noticed how she felt every single vein and valley and the way there was already a little dribble of, well, precum at the top.

That's when she realized she didn't have condoms here.

Biting her lip, she let go of a frustrated sigh, almost overhearing his reply but quickly concentrating on him, "What's... wrong?"

His hips bucked forward and she only knew she wanted- wanted-

Oh, why was it so weird to even think about those dirty things when they were so natural and she'd read so much about ways to make love?

She only knew she wanted him. Fully . Completely .

She wanted to feel those hips against hers, without denial.

"I don't… I don't have condoms," she whispered, already trying to come up with the material they were made of, yet… with how expensive they were, how could she just… make some? She knew she was on the pill, but would she be comfortable to… feel the consequences of their lovemaking inside her?

"I…" he was interrupted by a raspy cough that might've been a moan if he hadn't tried to speak, "Left back pocket."

Her eyes widened as her left hand left its place on his abdomen to quickly move into his jeans' pockets, taking out a total of two condoms.

"Mom said to always be prepared, even though we don't usually-" she interrupted him when she gripped his member a little tighter, sending shudders through his body. Softly, carefully, she pressed another kiss to his neck as she thanked his mom for being so awesome.

Relieved, she laid the condoms to the side for now, letting go of his member which resulted in a frustrated sigh on his part before she hastily moved away from her place behind him, stumbling to her feet as they were sitting right at the edge of the bed.

After she was finished throwing back her hair that'd fallen over her shoulder, she fully looked at him, noticing the way his gaze seemed to tear her apart as he looked up to her, cheeks and neck flushed a deep red.

She knew she looked the same.

Her legs were pressed together firmly, trying to get her any kind of satisfaction as she noticed that it was almost painful how much she wanted him right then as her eyes traced the lines of his body-

She almost startled when he grabbed her hips, pulling her towards him while pushing off his pants with his feet until they were laying on the floor before he connected his lips to her navel. Her hands quickly held onto the back of his head, burying themselves in the red and white locks as he trailed his kisses down to her pelvis, his fingers slipping underneath the dual colored lace she was wearing. She didn't know if she made sounds, and which kind they may be, but she lost herself in the way he made her feel.

It was so warm, and she was wearing way too much even though she knew she was almost naked and she couldn't even express her relief when he pulled down the fabric, the cold air hitting her womanhood driving her insane as she knew that she was absolutely and totally ready.

Questioningly, he looked at her and she realized how fuzzy her mind was as his unspoken language met deaf ears.

She had no idea what he tried to say.

It didn't matter, she supposed, when the grip on her hips turned more intense, making sure to tell her she'd be sore and bruised by tomorrow.

Her only reply to that was a moan.

He pulled her closer, carefully spreading her legs with his knee which only made matters so much worse. She didn't even know how to breathe anymore. Why was she even standing, shouldn't she lay down and let him, you know, do it?

But when she locked eyes with aqua and stone, looking down into his mesmerizing gaze and features, her left hand pushed his hair out of his face.

They were never the ones for conventional and normal, were they?

She nodded, not even caring about what he'd asked because she knew her answer was yes no matter what he wanted to try with her. Moaning, she pressed her lips together as his hand started caressing her womanhood, going right to the bundle of nerves that'd driven her wild last time. So… he'd memorized it as well, hadn't he?

"Momo, are you like this… because you're excited as well?" he blinked, looking off to the side and she couldn't understand his question as breathing turned harder and harder and she pushed into his touch, wishing for his fingers to go deeper. D-Deeper? Yes, she nodded absentmindedly.

"I want you," she repeated, her hips bucking forward as she shook, "I need you. Inside."

He gulped audibly, still blinking at her as she just knew both of them were about to combust with the torture and frustration they'd put themselves and each other through for months as she'd found out that her own hands would never be enough after the fulfillment of spending the night with him.

"Are you…" his raspy voice answered as he grimaced and she didn't blame him for not being able to speak normally, "...ready?"

She nodded vigorously. She had been ready for so, so long-

"Do you want to… I don't know, lie down?" he asked, leading her to shake her head. No. She had a plan, and if he wanted to, then-

"I want to be on top," she closed her eyes as she said it, knowing her face was burning up as she finally spoke it out loud.

"You…" his voice was fully breaking, "You want to…?" she heard him let go of a long breath, "Okay." Reaching all the way up to her, she felt him cup her cheek and she opened her eyes, quickly leaning down to kiss him. It felt so intense as he pulled her closer and she instinctively spread her legs to take place in his lap, feeling his member pressing into her belly.

His hands wandered to her back, stopping at the clasp of her bra and fiddling with it and she chuckled into the kiss, already moving her hands to her back.

"I can do this," he mumbled with feigned confidence, nipping at her lips with his tongue and she let him enter her mouth right away.

It took him a little while, but she couldn't help laughing at the successful "See!" he exclaimed with a grin as she felt the support of her bra disappear. Quickly, she helped him take off the last piece of fabric before throwing it to the floor.

Her chest pressed to his and she relished in the pure feeling of warmth spreading through her veins with the shudder down her spine.

"Lean back and relax," she whispered, reluctantly pulling away as he scooted back a little, gulping once again as he laid down flat on the bed.

She almost went insane with how nervous she was, taking one of the condoms before following closely behind him. Should she… put it on him? Or… But she wasn't sure how-

"I'll show you how," his hoarse voice got her attention as he seemed to read her mind with the way she stared at his member and then back to the aluminum package in her hand. Nodding nervously, she followed each and every step as he ripped the package open, setting down the latex on his tip while pressing the little bubble together to free it of air, "You can… You can roll it down."

Blushing even more, if that was even possible, she rolled it over him, and she really couldn't shake off the feeling that he'd gotten bigger. What if it… Would it hurt, even though it was their second time together?

Deciding not to think about it too much, she straddled his abdomen, leaning down to kiss him right away as she went insane with the amount of control she was given.

"Damn," he whispered against her lips as she sat up, "You're gorgeous, Momo. I hope you know how much I love you."

His calloused hands found their way over her hips, the little curve of her stomach to her navel before he let them wander to her breasts.

She choked on her breath, "I do."

This… This angle… He was so… He looked so content and lovely and that's all she kept in mind as she sat up slightly to line up his member with her entrance. Letting go of all air in her lungs, she tried to relax, and his hands went back to her hips, steadying her as she wavered.

"I… I hope you know too."

She sank down on him.

He moaned, loudly at that, and she couldn't blame him when she set her hands down on his chest, fearing that she was going to scratch him with how phenomenal the sensation was as he stretched her so much she went dizzy. This position was…

Oh , she couldn't help but notice that it stang again - a little - yet the pain disappeared as fast as it'd come as she was biting her lower lip, trying to take all of him.

She paused shortly, taking in the feeling of being filled to the brim when she realized how hard it was to take him with her body so unused to the intrusion-

She couldn't move further, pausing with her breathing shallow and wary as she let her head sink, feeling her hair fall into her face. Swallowing, she searched for his eyes, putting the rebelling strands of hair behind her ear with shaking hands.

It was so different, being on top, when she could look down at the expressions on his face, knowing that the reason for his mouth standing agape was completely and fully her.

That he trusted her enough to leave all control in her hands-

Exhaling shakily, she looked into his eyes, letting her hands wander up his chest, feeling the chiseled muscles underneath her fingertips, "I-" speaking was way harder than she expected, "I can't-"

He breathed out hard, looking lost as he didn't understand what she was trying to say. Of course he didn't, she wasn't even sure what words were at that moment.

"Help me," she demanded breathlessly, witnessing how his eyes widened and he nodded.

She carefully settled into his lap, and his hand found the way to her bundle of nerves, leaving her to clench and relax around him until he bottomed out with a gentle thrust of his hips.

Oh lord.

"Shouto-"

There was not a single thought left in her mind other than the young man lying underneath her, everything else turning to mush in her head.

His hands on her, the way the redness spread over his neck and chest-

He was setting her on fire, and she was ready to burn.

It must've been instinct that she moved, rocked her hips against his as she felt the sweat drip down her hairline. This was… he was so good and when he thrusted against her, rather quickly finding a rhythm in the way she made love to him-

His second hand went to her breast, gripping it tightly and her back arched as she moaned before she fell apart right away, the waves of pleasure hitting her like a train as she clenched around him, going dizzy as her vision turned black for a split second.

Her legs were shaking, and his shallow, almost gentle thrusts into her kept her on a high of falling apart and mending together and she didn't know if she wanted it to stop or keep going on forever. Her hands twitched, trying to find a place to stay on his body and yet she couldn't hold still as she moved on autopilot.

"Is that-...?" he sounded like he concentrated hard not to let go, "Did you…?"

"Yes," her voice broke as she rocked against him mindlessly, his hand still stimulating her little bundle of nerves, "That's… You're so good, Shou."

The pressure on her womanhood was just so much, it was all just so much and she had to try hard not to let the tears escape her eyes as she didn't want to scare him when he made her feel this good.

The tension that'd built up for so, so long finally fell from her. She went slack, still spasming as she clawed her hands into his chest, probably leaving red marks in the wake of her fingernails. His hand left off of her most intimate place, and her ability to breathe returned.

He gently caressed her sides, sending more shivers down her spine which only rekindled the fire in her belly, leaving her to breathe out shakily as everything seemed to spin around her. She concentrated on him, felt him still hard inside her and she couldn't… She didn't know how she was supposed to get him to his end as well when she was so… so wrecked.

Grabbing his hands and pinning them to the bed next to his face, she leaned forward, her breath hitching as the angle changed.

She took all her power to move against him again, feeling how the pleasure only turned more painful, yet she couldn't get enough of this strange kind of agony.

He groaned, trying to pull his right hand away to bite on it and yet he couldn't when she firmly held it to the bed.

"I love you," she whispered, knowing she wouldn't be able to hold back her tears for much longer as he reached places inside her she never knew possible. When she started to carefully bounce on him, his back arched and she swore she felt how his right hand turned cold, sending goosebumps over her arm while his left turned so warm she wondered if he'd burn her.

And yet she didn't care.

"Love-" he shuddered, and she knew she had him right where she needed him, "You too-"

Then they both went slack.

He wrapped his arms around her as she kissed him deeply, her chest pressed into his.

They were trying to catch their breaths, sweaty and sticky as their bodies finally let go of all the pent up tension and frustration and pain of being away from each other physically when they were so intimate with their minds.

She loved him so, so much and she buried her hands in his hair as she kissed him, and he kissed her, and they tried to somehow deal with what they were feeling for each other.

Burying her face in his neck, sucking more marks into the pale skin of his ice side, she felt him gently stroke her back as her tears started to flow.

It was like the rain, the thunder resounding in the quiet of the room that was otherwise only filled with their slowing breaths.

"I've got you," his voice was quiet, but started to regain in strength, "I'm here. Did I hurt you?"

"No," she sniffed awkwardly, "I'm just… I'm overwhelmed by how much I feel at the moment," she lifted her head, gently cupping his cheek before pressing another kiss to his lips.

"What are you feeling?" he answered, and she knew he was serious from the way he looked at her, still caressing her back, successfully soothing and calming her down.

"I'm relieved, that we made it this far," she started, her voice just a breath of the wind, "Overwhelmed, with… how good you make me feel," she would blush again, yet she was so tired she was sure she'd lost all ability to do that, "And how much I love you and how happy I am that you're comfortable enough to… be with me, and… it's just a lot, but it's all positive, I promise. I'm so inexplicably happy with you."

He was quiet, just breathing for a while until he answered, "It's… I feel the same. I'm… I'm glad I make you happy, Momo. I'm happy too."

"Good," she smiled at him, pecking his cheek, "You're wonderful, my love."

A shudder ran down his spine and she knew she could rely on his weak spot.

"My hero," he grinned at her lopsidedly, and her reply got stuck in her throat as she closed her mouth.

Well, he knew her weak spot as well, officially.

"We should… We should clean off," she tried to distract from herself, "We've been in the rain a lot, so… maybe taking a bath or shower would be good so we won't get sick-"

"Why, are you cold?" he grinned, his hand wandering to her butt as he squeezed it firmly and she awkwardly tried to yank her hair out of her face, yet it wouldn't stop obeying gravity. She quickly shook her head. "I'm just joking," he chuckled huskily, making himself even more attractive, "I'd love to take a bath with you. I'm too tired to stand."

She nodded quietly before he caught her lips with his.

Carefully, he angled her hips, lifting her up and pulling out of her. Hissing through her teeth, she realized that her body was definitely not used to this. It was a weird feeling, telling her to rest and yet symbolizing that she'd lost an important part of herself.

Her legs were still weak as she climbed down from her lover, falling onto her back right away.

She understood. Standing sounded like a very dumb idea.

Turning her head, she looked at him, realizing he eyed her too.

Beautiful aqua and stone locked with onyx, and she let go of a long breath.

"Can you carry me?" her question came out breathy.

"Always," he nodded, taking her hand in his.

She chuckled quietly, memorizing how beautiful he looked, with his hair sticking into his face while seeming so content and smiling at her like she was the world's biggest treasure-

She understood, for she looked the same.

"Just stay here, I…" he swallowed, his grin turning lopsided as he sat up, putting a few stray strands of hair behind her ear, "I want to take care of you. Is that… Is that alright?"

Todoroki Shouto was the most adorable human being on this planet. Or the dorkiest.

Yes, she concluded, he was adorkable .

"Of course," she smiled, watching him as he got up from the bed while biting her lips at the knowledge that this boy, this man was hers and hers alone.

He grinned at her before pushing open the bathroom door.

"Can I braid your hair?"

"What?" her head snapped towards him while she had just started brushing out her drenched and knotted hair.

His wasn't dry either, but he didn't mind too much as he couldn't be cold with her next to him, "You want to braid my hair?"

She was wearing a simple shirt of his she'd stolen many weeks prior, and even though he'd noticed it was gone he couldn't bring himself to care that it was now hers.

They were ready for bed, with their teeth brushed and freshly bathed.

A hesitant smile found its way to his face, "Yes, I want to."

She blinked at him, cheeks deeply flushed, "Do you… Do you know how to?"

He swallowed, nodding slowly, "Fuyumi taught me yesterday."

"Alright then," she whispered, a wide grin finding its way to her face, "Do you want to brush it too?"

His nod was answer enough as she handed him the brush, and he scooted back on the bed so she could take place in front of him, her back towards him. Swallowing nervously, he ran his fingers through the soft, wet hair before he started to carefully, slowly, brush her hair, starting at the tips of them before moving upwards. That was a trick his sister had taught him. It'd hurt less, and… he'd get to touch her softness even more.

"Shouto?" she asked quietly, and he could feel the nervousness through her voice.

"Yeah?" his voice was only a tiny bit surer than hers.

"I…" she gulped audibly while he progressed to bring order into the raven strands he had to withstand curling around his fingers, "When we… The day we met, when you first told me of your fear of intimacy," he slowed his movements to listen to her more attentively, "I started writing down everything I knew, everything I discovered and everything we overcame. And I… I know you can't see how much you've progressed, and that's why I'd given you the Matryoshkas on Christmas Eve, but… there's so much more to it, and I… I really want to show you. How far we've come."

"You…" he wondered, "You wrote it all down? Why did you… Why did you…?"

"Because I knew I'd love you one day," from the way her posture slumped, he knew that she was trying to hide her smile, "And I wanted to make sure I could… help you, because I care about you, always have." She turned towards him, leaving him to set down the brush, "Wait a second."

She quickly got up and walked over to her nightstand, opening the drawer and pulling out a seemingly indifferent notebook, but she laid it down on the bed before she took the brush from him to put it on the nightstand for now.

"This is… Us," she whispered, "This is everything we've been, and everything we are."

That's when he realized how glassy her eyes shimmered in the light.

"Can I… Can I show you?"

He swallowed hard, feeling his chest constrict even though his heart seemed to combust at the same time-

It didn't matter, when this was way more important.

"Yes," he nodded, "Please. Show me."

"You wrote down every single step, didn't you?" he asked quietly, braiding her hair for the sixth time as he just couldn't get the strands to be equal and pretty - and she deserved something beautiful. It didn't help that his cripply, stiff fingers couldn't seem to get it right.

Everything. From the moment she'd guessed about the origins of his scar, to the first time they hugged and why and what conclusion she'd come to. The times they kissed, got… intimate and fell in love in tiny, little steps that he'd never thought to be so visible if it weren't for that single, little notebook.

"I did," she replied, and he swore he could hear the smile in her voice.

Taking the hair tie she'd taken out for him, he wrapped it around her tips until he thought it would last for the night, "You were my project. My first crush, my first crash and the love of my life at the same time - I can't even describe how happy I am to have you."

He grinned, spinning her around towards him carefully before pressing his lips to hers. Their rhythm was immediate, their melody a natural result.

"I love you," he whispered against her lips, blinking into her gorgeous, dark eyes, "You're the one that taught me how to love. Not just others, but also myself, and… with every day, I only realize that I love you more and more."

He put a stray strand of hair behind her ear, in denial that it'd escaped him from being pulled into the braid.

The grin she gifted him was the most incredible thing he'd ever seen, the beam sending rays of light through his heart like knives. She taught him how to finally, truly live-

And he'd never forget about that.

The quiet ding of a phone pulled them out of it, leaving her to purse her lips before she pressed a soft peck to his lips, "I love you more."

"I don't think that's possible," he grinned coyly, realizing how she tried to suppress her laughter before she scooted to the edge of the bed, taking her phone out of her purse.

"You're ridiculous," she smiled, shaking her head and he couldn't help but take that as a compliment. If it made her smile, it couldn't be a bad thing after all.

He pulled back the comforter, blinking a few times as he realized they were really going to sleep in the same bed.

He'd get to cuddle her to sleep.

There was no way for him to stop grinning euphorically.

"Why's Uraraka awake this late?" she whispered thoughtfully as he fluffed up the pillows, knowing she wouldn't need hers anyway when she fondly burrowed her face in his neck, "Tomorrow, there's a spring festival at the temple."

"Really?" he blinked at her, memories of another festival so long ago running through his mind-

Fireworks, the darkness and the way they fit together like a lock and key even though he'd only just started to consider her his friend-

"Yes," she nodded, looking up to him as he'd stopped mid-motion, "She asked if we wanted to come along."

Swallowing, he nodded, "I'd love to."

The smile that'd left her face in question found its way back to her lips as she typed an answer to her friend, "Good," she rolled her shoulders, sighing contently before he saw how stiff she turned, "It's already two in the morning…"

"That's why I prepared the bed," he grinned, knowing her way too well to think she'd stay up all night. He turned on the light at the nightstand.

"I can't even express how much I love you," she whispered, getting up to flip off the light switch at the door.

"Don't worry," he tilted his head, "I know."

She plucked in her phone, and when she grinned at him after that, her eyes turning coy, he knew that she had something planned. She looked like a predator with the dim lighting around them. He swallowed hard as she quickly stepped over to him, tackling him onto the bed.

"Hey-" he tried to protest mindlessly, laughing as he held her close, spinning them around so she was lying underneath him, "You're one dangerous woman."

Chuckling, she lifted her head to kiss his lips, "I hope you're up for danger, then."

"With you, always," he crossed the distance between them, feeling how her hand wandered up to bury itself in his hair while he held himself up on his elbows.

It was many minutes later that they'd finally settled into a sleeping position, her face buried at his neck as he had his arm wrapped around her tightly. The comforter laid on top of them, leaving no distance between two bodies that'd slowly, and with great care, found a way to love despite all odds-

If there were any fears in their minds that night, they were anything but the fear of intimacy that'd been their biggest villain, and yet the thing that let them be closer than anyone else.

They were young, they were dumb...

But most importantly, they were in love.

Notes:

So, what'cha say? xD I hope all of your steamy needs are satisfied after this one. And I did not forget about the notebook Momo started in Chap 12!

But I'm absolutely sorry to say that there is only one chapter left. Which I do not have prewritten, actually, because I can't get myself to write it 'cause it means that it's over and, ugh, I'm just being weird, I guess? I'm not sure if I'll have the next chapter ready by next week, but I'll try. No, really, I can't believe this huge monster of a story is almost wrapped up, I'm... about to cry, alright, I'll stop here.

I hope you enjoyed this one, and feel free to yell at me in the comments here and or on tumblr. And don't forget to tell me your favorite moments, I didn't get a single one yet, soooo xD I have a feeling people stopped reading this a long time ago, but I'll be happy to hear something from you. Anything, please.

Next chapter it's time for an ENNICHI REPRISE! ^-^

Have a great time, everyone, I'll be here.

Chapter 40: I'll Be Ok

Summary:

I'll Be Ok - Nothing More

Two, free souls, healing together.

Notes:

And here we are.

This is the last chapter of Crash (I'll Be Here)

And while I cried rivers uploading this last chapter, having kept you waiting for way too long-

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

She knew she shouldn't enter the room, so Ari stood there, listening closely for any sign of movement or talk behind the door to the room of a child she'd practically raised from the moment Itsume'd carried the little baby on her arm.

The grey haired smiled at the memory of the tiny bundle of pink cheeks and black fluffy hair that'd stolen her heart right away.

Now she was all grown up, engaged and obviously in love.

After knocking on the door loudly, she righted her ear towards the door slightly, hearing rustling inside before a quiet 'Mh?' sounded from inside. Ari identified the young Yaoyorozu's voice right away, "May I enter?" she asked, just to be sure she wouldn't witness them in any compromising situations.

"Yeah," Momo whispered, and Ari opened the dark wooden door.

It was dark inside as the curtains were closed, so the older woman quickly walked over to the window to pull them aside.

She would've expected an annoyed groan, like she was used to, yet the tired sigh Momo surprised her. Even more so that the dual haired boy with his arm and leg hanging off the bed didn't even react to a single impuls. The black haired girl was occupying most of the bed, her face buried at his side with an arm possessively wrapped around the younger boy's waist.

Both of them were fully clothed, almost leaving Ari to let go of a relieved sigh, yet she went over and opened the other set of curtains as well.

"Young lady, breakfast is going to be ready in fifteen minutes," she explained, and the black haired nodded absentmindedly.

"We'll be there," Momo whispered, cuddling into the young man lying next to her while giving Ari a thumbs up.

She was confident those two would, in fact, not be there on time.

"Hey, love, wake up," a soft voice whispered into his ear, leading Shouto to warily open his eyes, just to squeeze them shut right away. It was way too bright in here, he noted right away, realizing that half his body was hanging off the bed. He turned towards Momo, feeling her carefully scoot away as she wrapped an arm around his waist to make sure he wouldn't fall off the bed.

"Hi," he breathed, blinking at her as the light shining in from the windows left her to look like an angel in disguise. Well, it wasn't in disguise when she was so obviously ethereal.

He loved her way too much for his sanity, but he guessed common sense was overrated anyway.

"We need to get up," she put a few strands of hair out of his face as he blinked his eyes closed, knowing she'd be there when he opened them.

"Mh hm," he nodded, snaking his arms around her so he could pull her in close and hide his face at her collarbone, "Five minutes."

"It'll be another five minutes in five minutes, won't it?" She laughed, the vibrations in her chest finding their way right into his heart, leaving him to feel warm and cared for and… loved.

"Mh hm," he blinked his eyes open, pulling back to search for her lips, capturing them gently. He felt her breathy chuckle against his own, yet she turned the kiss more passionate quickly.

"I love you, Shou, but we really need to get up," she whispered when they left off each other breathlessly, "My parents are waiting."

He shook his head in denial, "I just wanna stay with you."

Her breathing hitched, and he looked up to catch her dark gaze, wanting to know what was going on in that head of hers.

"You're the sweetest," she grinned, pecking his lips again, "But we… we really need to get ready for the day, no matter how much I'd love to stay and cuddle with you."

He sighed tiredly.

"Did you sleep well?" Shouto asked carefully once they'd taken place at the table.

"You were not home before dark, were you?" Her father replied, frowning at him accusingly.

Oh.

"Well," he tried to reason, ruffling his hair out of his face, "It may… have been dark already, yeah."

"Don't be so nervous," her father laughed, "I knew you'd get her home safely."

"We slept well," Momo's mother smiled at him, gently boxing the shoulder of her husband, "How did you two sleep?"

"We- Eh," he stumbled over the words, knowing there was a slight warmth that tried to find its way to his nose and cheeks, yet he did his best to suppress it with his ice side, "We slept well."

"Yes," Momo smiled at him when he turned his head towards her, leaving him to understand that the traitorous blush had definitely found its way to her face.

Her mother cleared her voice, and Shouto tried to hide behind his cup of green tea.

Maybe… they wouldn't be able to see him there?

He only knew he couldn't catch her father's gaze.

"I didn't have nightmares," his fiancée whispered, letting his mouth run dry as he realized the insinuation of the absence of her dreams, "It was warm, and cozy, and filled with love."

It didn't take him more than a split second to reach out his hand to the girl sitting to his left as he interlaced their fingers right away, "There was no… bad dream?"

She nodded, smiling sheepishly as she caught his gaze, "After the hospital… they just never reappeared, but I… I never truly found the right moment to tell you that."

"There's never a wrong moment to tell me anything," his voice gave out, and her smile turned a little lopsided, yet the warmth in her eyes didn't dim for a second.

"Don't worry, I know."

She leaned over to press a soft peck to his cheek, obviously blushing as she leaned back into her chair, turning her attention towards the woman sitting opposite her.

"Mom?" The question was quiet, hesitant, as Momo'd wrapped up eating her croissant, wiping her hand clean as she searched for her mother's eyes.

"Momo?" The dark haired woman replied, suspiciously squinting her eyes at her daughter.

"There's… There's a festival at the buddhist temple today, and… I'd like to, no, we'd like to… visit it, if it's okay with you, of course."

She searched for her fiancée's hand underneath the table, feeling his warm hand right at hers to tell her that she wasn't alone.

Momo didn't know what to expect. There was no way her strict mother would ever allow her on a rowdy and dangerous festival at a temple she'd never seen before. That's why she'd snuck into her own house, back then, after she'd met Shouto at the front gate, and they'd talked until he'd brought her back home.

It's not like she'd ever tell her parents about that.

"Okay," Momo blinked confused at her mother's words, "As long as you don't wander off alone, stay together and get back home before midnight, there's nothing I can say to forbid you from going."

"That's a…" she took a deep breath, "That's a yes?"

"Yes, Momo," her mother's smile turned wider as she nodded, "That's a yes."

And Shouto's hand around her's tightened too.

She didn't know why she was changing in the bathroom instead of her bedroom when Shouto'd already seen everything she had to hide. Maybe… Maybe it was the anticipation of what he was going to say to the blue Yukata she'd kept after the last day they'd been at a festival together. Back then, it'd been a coincidence, nothing but a small, little chance of fate that gave them the chance to become a little bit closer.

If they'd ever… If they'd ever actually fallen for each other without this contract? Without this piece of paper her parents signed when she was still a child?

She didn't want to think about it as she tied the fabric right above her chest so she could close it fully. Was this… Was this even right? Well, she'd worn it the same way last time, so it had to be right, hadn't it?

Looking into the mirror, she tried to get some sense of order into her hair so she could somehow put it up without having to open up the braid Shouto'd done the night before. Maybe… She could roll it in? Nodding, she took a few hair pins and fastened the hairstyle before it could fall apart.

It was when she held the obi in her hands that she realized she couldn't fully remember how to tie it as the last time she'd tried had been… almost a year ago.

Her phone was outside, too, so she couldn't just google it. Furrowing her eyebrows, she tried to make sense of the white fabric.

Letting go of a long, disappointed breath, she realized that her surprise wouldn't work out. Knocking on the door to her room, just to wait for a sign that he was at least ready, she unlocked the door.

"I'm done," Shouto replied calmly, and she gulped as she opened the door. What… What if he was disappointed? She'd grown up in such Western traditions that she couldn't even put on Japanese clothing successfully after all.

All worry went up in smoke when she saw him, clad in the Yukata she'd made for him just before she'd gone off to change and-

"Wow," she breathed, feeling her cheeks grow warm, yet she didn't even bother about cooling them down as the only thing she knew was that he was just absolutely incredible. He looked more than just handsome - the style and dark blue colors fitting him perfectly, just like his hero costume did.

She'd always thought about marrying in a little chapel, or a grand cathedral, but now…

A temple seemed just fine.

"You're gorgeous," he grinned at her, and the fact that he smiled at her even though she wasn't even fully ready sent shivers down her spine.

She quickly crossed the distance between them, tiptoeing to reach his lips with hers.

Passionately, she moved against him, snaking her arms around his waist as she pulled herself in close.

"I guess..." his breathing was a bit haggard as he leaned his forehead on hers, just like they'd done that time during their first training session together, "I guess that means I'm alright?"

"Very much alright," she nodded, a soft grin spreading on her lips, "Marry me."

Had she… Had she really just… said that?

"W-What?" Shouto blinked quickly, yet he didn't pull away as his mind processed the words she'd thrown into his face, "Well, yeah, I will. Why… Why the sudden…?"

"I don't know," she admitted breathlessly, smiling like a lunatic as she couldn't pull herself together, "I just realized I love you, and I really don't want to spend my life without you."

"Hah," he breathed through his nose, "We're on the same page, then."

"When we're older?" Momo asked quietly, caressing his back through the fabric as she pulled her head away so she could rest it against his collarbone.

"When we're older," he nodded, tucking her head underneath his chin, "We've got all time in this world, now. We'll be heroes, and we'll make it through. I know we will."

"Yes," she bit on her lip, yet it didn't stop her little smile at all, "We will."

Reluctantly, she leaned back, looking at him to stare into aqua and stone, "Now… Would you please help me tie this?"

Nervously, he looked around, trying to find something to hold onto in this scenario.

The girl of his dreams was standing next to him, and he didn't know… He didn't know what he was supposed to do as her angelic chuckling only threatened to put him into cardiac arrest.

Taking a deep breath, he stared at the lights all around them, the sun only slowly setting, yet the little glimmers or red and orange already shone bright.

Slowly, hesitantly, he looked down to the brown haired girl next to him, the soft pink skirt bunching at her waist as she crouched next to him, trying to find something in her handbag. She'd put a bow into her hair, and he couldn't help but feel his heart clench at how adorable she was.

It was when she locked his gaze, gazing up to him with her pretty, pink cheeks, that he gasped breathlessly.

This was no good! He was… He was strong, he was going to be a great hero, just like All Might had been, so-

So why was he so terribly nervous around the girl he liked.

"Midoriya?" she asked quietly, and he nodded, knowing his smile was more like a statue than a natural one, yet his mind wouldn't work like he'd wanted it to.

"Yeah?" he replied, staring into her brown eyes that harbored such warmth he only turned more stupid.

That at least explained why Kaminari was always short-circuiting when he was standing next to Jirou.

If Izuku had an electricity quirk… he'd surely end up the same.

"Are you alright?" her question pulled him out of it again as he nodded quickly to make sure she knew he was alright.

"I'm… I'm just nervous," he chuckled breathily, holding out a hand for her as she got up which she took right away, "I can't… I can't believe I had the guts to ask you out."

"Well," she grinned her typical smile that let her eyes close and his heart burn in adoration, "I'm glad you did!"

W-What…?

"You… You are…?"

"Hey, Midoriya," he was pulled out of it before he could get an answer, leaving him to spin around to the voice of one of his best friends, "Uraraka."

"Todoroki!" he exclaimed, his voice a bit too high for his liking, "Yaomomo!" he added when he looked at the black haired girl holding her fiancée's hand.

"Woah!" Uraraka's grin turned even wider even though Izuku wasn't sure how that was possible, "You two look so awesome!"

"Thank you, Ochako," the dark haired girl giggled back, "You look happy."

So… was this… no way, was this a double date?

Izuku let go of a long, long breath as he relaxed, knowing he wasn't alone with her anymore. He… He really had to get himself together, he wasn't one to get nervous in situations like this where nothing bad could even happen!

Okay, that was a lie.

But he usually wasn't that nervous around Uraraka, so why… Why was it like this now?

Why couldn't he… Why couldn't he be as cool as Todoroki, standing next to a girl he was going to marry and still looking as if all of this wasn't nerve-wrecking at all?

Maybe… Maybe this would get better with time? But how? What… What was he supposed to do?

His heart was beating like crazy whenever he looked at the brown haired, and after he'd researched all of those tiny little symptoms he showed when he was standing next to her, he only realized that he was an idiot when he'd told all of them to his best friend almost a year ago.

Yeah, he was in love. And he was behaving completely lovestruck .

"You look like you've seen a ghost," the dual haired boy in front of him remarked, "You alright?"

"Yes!" he quickly snapped back, "Just… Just…"

"Nervous?" Yayorozu added with a soft smile as she took the hand of her fiancée and he saw how their fingers interlaced and-

He couldn't stop wanting to do that too, with Uraraka, of course.

But what if his hands were sweaty, or she found it was disgusting or-

That was when he found a hesitant, warm hand slowly tracking its way to his own, and when he looked down at the brown haired girl next to him, he felt his cheeks go up in flames. He was very thankful his quirk was not fire, or else he'd be totally obvious and… wait.

Why… Why were they starting to float?

He saw the blush on her nose and cheeks, and felt a hand on his arm that was slowly pulling them back to the ground.

"I'm- I'm so sorry," Uraraka stammered, "I didn't meant to-"

"It… It's alright," his voice was unsure as well as he swore the both of them could be having steam come out of their ears.

"First date?" Todoroki asked, and both of them nodded, clipped and quick.

"It's going to get easier after a few," the fire and ice hero-in-training smirked at them.

"Were you nervous too?" Midoriya asked interestedly, tilting his head slightly. That… wouldn't really fit his friend, would it? But with the fear of intimacy, maybe...

"Yes," both of his friends answered resignedly, and he calmed down a little more.

So… even the sweetest romances started awkward, didn't they?

Izuku smiled.

For he knew that everything was going to be alright.

"They won't recognize us, will they?" Kyouka asked quickly, holding a hand in front of her mouth as she lurked around the corner, seeing their friends stand together.

They… Yaomomo would never let her hear the end of it if she found out the two of them were here as well! It should've been obvious, when the dark haired had told her about the first time she'd met her hubby at Ennichi last year!

Why… They shouldn't have come here! She was wearing a Kimono, that-

That only made matters worse, when it looked like she actually put effort into it and she diverted from her usual style completely to do something pretty and nice for her boyfriend.

"Who?" the honey blonde boy next to her answered way too loud and Kyouka's eyes widened. "Psht!" she tried to get him to quiet down, yet he only stared at her with furrowed brows, obviously not understanding what she meant.

"Oh, aren't that todmomo and izuocha hanging out together?" he laughed, and she grimaced as she wanted to keep him quiet with her hand, yet her adorably idiotic boyfriend stepped around the corner, "Hi, guys!"

Oh, this… this jamming-whey was going to cost her every last nerve of hers, wasn't he?

Slapping her hand onto her forehead, she put on a hesitant, forced little smile as she stepped out next to him, "Hi," she lifted her hand.

"You're here too!" Uraraka laughed, waving at them as she seemed to float away, quickly held to the ground by her sleeve, "This is way too much to be a coincidence!"

Kaminari wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they came to a stop in front of their friends, and Kyouka couldn't help but notice the happiness in their eyes.

It seemed so warm, as the sun was slowly setting behind them, theoretically painting this world with darkness, and yet the little lanterns hanging all around the different food stalls let everything seem so soft and beautiful.

The sun may be gone, but their light shined on, didn't it?

Everyone… looked so content, as if there wasn't a single ounce of sadness in this world, and Kyouka smiled brightly when she realized she was very happy herself, as well.

Where there might've been worry for her friends, where there might've been hesitance for the boy that'd made her laugh ever since the first time he'd short-circuited… was nothing left but delight.

This… This was beautiful, and it was all she needed, so she wrapped her arm around her boyfriend's waist, grinning up at him.

And he beamed right back.

Momo's hand automatically found its way to the one of her fiancée standing next to her, holding it tight as she knew their sleeves would've almost hidden the gesture if it wasn't for the fact that he was towering over her.

It was unfair, she thought, when they'd been almost the same height for so long. He smirked at her, making her knees go weak, just like they always got when he looked at her like that.

She was so, so silly .

But a tiny bit of silliness seemed to be alright, when it'd let to all this.

Once upon a time, she'd denied her feelings, ignoring that she might've felt anything else but the admiration she knew she harbored for the dual haired boy sitting next to her in class. The other recommended student that'd shown her what he was capable of, subconsciously impressing her so much she'd started doubting herself.

Very fitting, that the one to save her from herself had been him as well.

He was her hero, the man she loved, and the one she'd grow old with.

She couldn't be happier.

Quickly, she tiptoed to press a little peck to the corner of his mouth, knowing that he understood the reference to Christmas Eve, where they'd first kissed after he'd proposed to her-

He cupped her cheeks right away, and not a word was spoken as he pressed his lips to hers.

She didn't care what it looked like, to kiss like this, out in the open. She'd long stopped caring, when she knew that their time was limited in the same way that their love was eternal. Why should she hold back, when life showed them how quickly everything could fall apart?

When they let go, she stared into heterochromatic eyes, smiling at him as she nodded without reason.

"I love you," she whispered, ignoring that their friends weren't far away as they'd gone off to find food, "I hope you know that."

He couldn't believe how different it felt to be here again.

It hadn't even been a year, and yet… everything… was not the same.

The families, the fathers carrying their children, the mothers laughing, holding hands with their lovers - the lovers, playing games, sharing food and-

Back then, he'd thought he'd never be able to have something like this. Ever. Not in the miserable, monotone life he'd been living.

Now…

He couldn't shake off the feeling that he could have something like this too, one day.

The lover, he had. And he couldn't stop smiling at her as she diverted his attention from the beautiful lanterns that dyed the world beautiful sunset colors.

An eternal sunset, just like the one he'd witnessed the day she'd found him in front of school.

His life had been nothing but a plan, written on stained, white pages, and he would've said that she'd brought color into his life, yet he knew that was nothing but an understatement.

She'd taken the paper, ironed out all wrinkles and bound the book that gave him a chance to live.

There were still pages left, many at that, but they had a lot of time to fill them with the memories they were going to make.

Because no matter if good, or bad, or bittersweet - no memory with her could be anything but beautiful.

He smiled, looking at the girl in front of him as he gently caressed her slightly rosy cheek, the blush almost disappearing in the orange lighting around them, "I know, I do," he nodded, feeling his eyes crinkle with his smile, "I love you too."

She giggled, her nose slightly twitching, just like it always did when she tried to hold back snorting laughter that'd only get her scowls from anyone but him. Onyx orbs stared right into his soul but still he wasn't embarrassed as he knew all of his cards were laid out. Whereas he'd been a child, drowning in secrets in pain, there was her, knowing all of them and pulling him out of the sea.

The hurt was still there, yet even if he were to fall into the sea again, he knew he'd be able to swim.

She crossed the oceans between them, pressing her soft, warm lips to his own and he couldn't stop grinning into the kiss. He knew it was weird, probably even felt weird, and yet he couldn't do anything but feel happy.

Happiness, while he was walking in the festival he'd first realized how sad he'd been in the first place.

Momo didn't seem to care, smiling just as much when she let go.

"Hah!" they suddenly heard, both of them jolting around to the older woman behind the counter, "I knew it!"

Blinking a few times, Shouto tried to understand who she was, yet his mind couldn't come up with anything until he looked at what she was selling.

T-Taiyaki?

"We-" Momo stammered, taking her bag and trying to find some money in it, "We'd like two Taiyaki, please," she grinned awkwardly, her play obvious as she stared at Shouto, "Don't we?"

"Yeah, sure," he swallowed, nodding at his fiancée.

Was he… Had he been this obvious, even back then?

When he wasn't even sure what friends were?

From the quiet, conspiring chuckling of the woman in front of him, he got his answer.

He was holding onto her soft and warm hand, his left used to hold the stick with fried food on it, while he watched her eat out of the corner of his eyes.

There was something oddly satisfying in the way her eating confirmed that she was alright. He'd even go as far as to say she looked happy, chewing on the fish with her eyes crinkling, just like they did when she smiled.

This… This, right here, was his own, personal angel that he knew would always keep an eye on him. And even though her wings were invisible, he didn't need proof to see that she couldn't be from this world.

Well, he knew she was, so all he said was nothing but rambling of a man in love, but who was going to judge him for that?

Even if it was nonsense, wasn't it enough to know that it was love?

He grinned at her, and she stopped mid-bite to look at him, her eyes squinting in suspicion. Shaking his head, he tried to tell her that it didn't matter.

It was then that he looked behind her, recognizing someone he wouldn't have expected to see here, "Is that All Might?"

"Mh?" Momo blinked at him before he nodded into the direction he'd identified a familiar head of blonde hair, "Yeah, that's him. Wait, is that a woman-"

"That's Midoriya's mom," he said quietly, tilting his head, "Does that mean…?"

"We should leave them be," the raven haired angel next to him nodded with a slight smile before she wrapped up eating, looking out for a chance to throw away her stick. He took it out of her hand, throwing it away in the trashcan that was standing behind him, "Thank you."

"Of course," he grinned lopsidedly, making eye contact with the teacher standing on the other side of the festival stalls. The blonde's eyes widened before he anxiously looked down towards the green haired woman next to him.

Shouto couldn't shake one thought off.

"No," Momo's voice tried to pull him out of it as she seemed to understand his gaze.

"I'll just say hi to Midoriya's mom," he grinned at her, seeing how her eyes closed, "Be right back."

She didn't let go of his hand, following along when he crossed the distance in rather big steps. Well, however big wearing a Yukata enabled him to make.

"Good evening!" Momo greeted before he could scare the two grown ups, "It's… It's nice to meet you."

"So you're really Midoriya's dad?" Shouto asked right away, blinking at the two grown ups. Inko looked awkward, but only for a second until a smile found its way to her face, while their teacher next to them anxiously seemed to want to disappear into the ground. It was at the same time that Momo boxed Shouto's shoulder, "What?"

"I'm sorry," the raven haired girl smiled at the grown ups, "He shouldn't-"

"It's okay!" Inko grinned widely, "So you're the lady my son called when… You know, back then, when he…"

"That's me," Momo admitted, nodding quickly, "It's nice to finally get to know you."

"I'm not Midoriya's father," the blonde retired hero waved his hands in a denying motion in front of his body, "How did you… How did you get this idea?"

"Well," Shouto started, blinking a few times to remember how he'd come to that conclusion in the first place.

Was it… because of their quirks?

Or… Because they seemed to have a special connection, too?

"I…" he didn't know what to say, "I'm sorry for saying that."

"It's alright," All Might smiled, his eyes warm even though he looked so weak.

It seemed that even their teachers, their parents found love, amidst all of this chaos that he knew to be this world.

"How are you?" Shouto heard the quiet question, leaving him to look at the emerald eyes of a woman he hadn't seen in a long time, with the last being an incident where he'd frozen her hand.

He knew the question to be serious.

Of course it was, when this woman knew how sick he'd been back then.

"I'm fine," he whispered, a subtle smile playing on his lips, his hand clutching around the one of his fiancée, "We're fine."

The woman standing opposite him hesitated for a while, before the glimmer returned to her eyes, "I'm glad."

Shouto swallowed.

"Can I… hug you?"

The tears streaming down the woman's face may not have answered his question…

But the arms wrapping around him did.

Momo pulled him with her to the floor as she'd sat down in the grass, right at the fence they'd walked at during the last festival. They knew what was coming, yet it didn't take anything away from how beautiful it was.

"You want to sit in the dirty grass?," he mocked, looking around and seeing that some of their classmates had found their places in the crowd of people to their right. And even though he teased her, he sat down right away, wrapping an arm around her shoulder to pull her close.

"I don't mind," she whispered, smiling at him, leaving his heart to skip more and more beats, "The only thing that matters is that you're with me. Think about it like that… Had I stopped myself from sitting down on those dirty stairs next to you… Where would we be now?"

"I don't want to think about it," he replied, quickly pressing a kiss to her forehead, "The only thing that matters is here, and now, and in the future."

Back then, when they'd first met here, coincidentally - if such a thing existed - he'd realized he'd never have a family like this in his life.

But his family was here, as she was holding his hand, and he exhaled shakily to stop himself from crying.

A quiet bang pulled them out of it, as both of their heads snapped towards the sky, seeing the first sparks of red and orange light up the dark sky.

"It's starting," she whispered, and he felt her cuddle into his shoulder as more and more sparks build upon the other.

Golden, and orange, violet and blue-

The glittering sparks, the little stars fading in the night were nothing but gorgeous.

But not as gorgeous as she was, when she was sitting next to him and just like back then, just like the first time, he only had eyes for her.

"I love you," his voice was only a breath of air, and he wasn't sure if she'd heard, if it wasn't for the fact that her hand around his tightened, and she grinned at him, just for a small second.

"I love you too."

And those fireworks celebrated nothing but that they were here, together, healthy and in love.

Because nothing else mattered.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" the woman, clad in light colors, whispered, "Youth. Innocence, and they ability to start anew."

"They're better than us," the man replied, looking down at the smaller silhouette next to him, "They're… so much better."

"You hurt us," her smile got lost in the darkness as the bright sparks didn't seem to reach them where they were standing, away from everyone else, "You hurt them."

"I hurt you," he nodded, biting his lip painfully as the woman's white hair flowed in the wind, "And I lost you."

"Then why am I here?"

He choked on his breath, his eyes widening as he stared into eyes, reminding him of the snowstorm of a woman she'd been once upon a time.

He wished he could let her blossom, just as she'd done back then.

"Rei…" his voice broke, "I don't… I don't deserve…"

Her hand found his, the cold contrasting his fire so eminently as her fingers interlaced with his.

It didn't seem like it was much.

But when he saw her smile, he knew that it was more than just the world.

His other hand clutched over his mouth as he tried to suppress his sobs.

For a second chance, a new life, had begun tonight.

It was warm, Shouto noted, when Momo leaned against his shoulder, the cold grass beneath them unimportant. She was looking at the stars, the fireworks long having faded in the wind, and yet he couldn't do anything but look at her.

He had been a child, stumbling in footsteps way too big for him, in a snowfield too deep to cross, searching for a way out of a life that didn't feel like it was his in the first place.

He may have never found the way out of that snowfield. Yet it disappeared, replacing all cold with the warmth and happiness of everlasting flowers which were blooming all around him.

Lifting his hand, he put one of those flowers behind the ear of the raven haired girl next to him, mesmerizing at the way the wind played with her hair.

Their snowfield might've been deep, the winter way too long in his life, yet she was his spring, taking all he knew apart to make it new again.

They started building their own little house of cards, their own fragile little place of peace as everything had been ripped from their hands.

Still, they were here, building it up once more.

They always would.

Because both of them weren't perfect, both of them had been hurt beyond repair, as it seemed – because both of them bonded from the start.

Because they fell in love somewhere along the way.

The only thing that mattered was that they were together in this everlasting storm of a world that took them apart and beat them to the ground whenever it got the chance.

"Even if it all comes crash ing down," she whispered, "keep in mind that I'll be here ."

He knew it was the truth.

There's no such thing as a happy ending. There's always one person, somewhere, that's not content, not happy about the way everything turned out-

Either way…why would you want a happy ending, when it means that it's over?

Their story is not over.

Whether you call this last chapter happy, bittersweet or sad – all of it will pass.

Life is like a house of cards, breaking down in itself again and again.

No one is spared, because everyone knows the feeling of falling apart.

This world is a storm, relentless and cold.

And only together, we can heal.

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