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Seven years ago...
Chat Noir's P.O.V
"There you are."
I did not need to look over my shoulder to know who was approaching. I recognized that voice—the last one I want to hear at the moment.
Vesperia sat next to me on the edge of a roof. I scowled at her before returning my gaze toward Paris. I hugged my knees a little tighter to me, resting my chin on my arm.
I had run off after my talk with Master Fu. I needed some alone time to clear my head. Unfortunately, I am not given such time and the intruder just had to be the bee holder.
"Apparently, I did not hide well enough," I huffed, "You clearly did not get the message that I do not want to be with anyone right now. Did you even think of that while taking the time to search for me?"
Vesperia frowned and looked down at the street below.
"I apologize. You just looked like you could use a companion," she replied, mindlessly drawing her finger on the stone.
"Then, your judgment was wrong," I said, rolling my eyes, "Now, why do you not just leave me be?"
"Chat Noir, why do you hate me?" Vesperia asked in a soft voice, "Ever since the day I arrived at the dojo, you have always had something against my presence. I do not understand what I have done wrong to anger you but I am truly sorry for it."
I glanced over her way, seeing her turmoil. She does not understand why I am upset with her. She does not know the unfairness I felt when she came along...wearing a miraculous before me. Without any training. Without any knowledge.
Unlike me, who had trained for years until finally being given what I deserved from hard work. It was as if the miraculous was some free food given to her without putting any effort into earning it. No labor put into a project I slaved over while she takes full credit.
I let out a sigh.
"I do not hate you," I responded, "Hate is too much of a strong word for how I feel toward you. It is more of a...distaste."
"You sure know have a funny way of showing how distasteful I am. It is almost like you see me as your enemy," Vesperia mumbled with hurt laced in her voice. I do not think I was supposed to hear that but my enhanced hearing caught her words.
My ears drooped in sorrow. Perhaps, I have been somewhat foolish for treating her as an outcast. My anger should be taken out on that old geezer instead. After all, he is the one that gave her the miraculous. She does not know why I am frustrated. How could she?
"You are right. I should have not treated you so lowly," I admitted, "The reason my distaste for you started is because you did nothing to earn the bee miraculous. I had to train for years until becoming worthy of the black cat miraculous."
Vesperia's eyes widened and shook her head in disbelief.
"So, that was why you did not get a miraculous until last year. I had no idea we had to train to earn them," she said, guilty.
"Why have you never asked? And why are you so worthy of a miraculous without the proper training?" I questioned her.
"I had tried to ask you many times why you did not have a miraculous but you always gave me the cold shoulder. You continuously ignored me and I eventually gave up trying to get an answer," Vesperia answered.
Then, she started to twiddle her fingers. Guilt squeezed at my heart for the childish way I acted. She did not deserve it. I was merely jealous but for a good reason. I did have the right to be mad but I should have talked to her rather than ignore her.
"I am aware of why I was given a miraculous before I was trained. I cannot give you the reason though due to keeping my identity a secret. I can assure you there is a good reason that I am in need of wearing this suit. I can promise you that much," she concluded.
I gave her a nod. I shall accept that answer. It may not be the one I was looking for but if it is the one I am going to get, I will take it.
"I thought...well, I am unsure if I ever truly had a theory on why you did not have a miraculous. Maybe, I thought you were against magic and had a disdain for it. Maybe, you did not like me for that reason. Now, I see that is not true. I am sorry for assuming that," she apologized once again.
She continued to ramble, "Although, I do not think there is such an apology to give. It will not change the past but I do hope this talk will change our future. I am no good at making friends—or I thought I was since you disliked me—so I hope we can start anew. If that is alright with you, of course."
"Vesperia," I cut her off before she could continue her ranting. Her blue eyes drew away from her fiddling fingers and over to me. Anticipation made itself evident on her face. She was nervous. I could still see a hint of shyness as if she were that eight-year-old again arriving at the dojo.
"I would like to thank you for giving me a chance to redeem myself and fix our partnership. You are very kind. For that, I will gladly accept a do-over and will do better to develop our friendship," I vowed.
I had never seen Vesperia's eyes sparkle with giddiness before. She looked so happy. She even had a giant smile crossing her cheeks once we agreed to restart.
"You do not know how much this means to me, Chat Noir," Vesperia spoke with gratitude. I perked up when seeing her eyes begin to water.
"Why on Earth are you crying?" I asked. I was confused and worried about whatever I did to make her cry. Did I say the wrong thing?
Vesperia shook her head and giggled, "Do not worry. These are tears of joy."
She sniffled, wiping away the droplets. Her smile was still on her face, making me relax.
"You just do not understand how much it means to me..." she trailed off, making me tilt my head. What was she talking about? How badly did she want to be friends with me? I was horrible to her. I am surprised she never developed any negative feelings toward me.
Why is that?
"How come?" is what I wanted to ask but did not say a word. Luckily, I did not have too.
"...that you are my first friend I have ever made."
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Present Time
My mother...
But how?
How do I recognize her voice? I have never heard her speak, let alone have ever met her in person. The last time I had been in her presence was when I was a baby. This has to be some sort of trick. Maybe, it is made to sound familiar because that is how I hear her voice deep down. Maybe, the way her shadowy figure is shaped is another thing of my imagination.
A fictional character of my imagination, taunting and poking fun at me.
"What is wrong, darling? Do you not miss your mother?" she questioned in a sickeningly sweet voice, "That is so sweet of you! It is too bad that I want absolutely nothing to do with you."
I flinched at her words. There it was. The words I have dreaded for years are now being projected from my head into the mouth of this phenomenon.
"Why do you think I dumped you on the front door of some random poor male's house? Was it not obvious?" She snickered, "Now, you have come back and are begging me to love a worthless thing like you? How embarrassing! How could anyone love you?"
I grunted, a throbbing ache ricocheting off the walls of my skull. It was like whatever was expanding in my head wanted to burst out. Her words did not help, stringing along more blows on my being.
It hurts.
My mother and father did not want me. They abandoned me on some doorstep of a random old man. They obviously did not care. They never did. I have to always push those thoughts into a locked chest and threw it into the depths of my mind. Yet, it occasionally resurfaces with every chance it gets.
And with those chances, brings reminders. And those reminders have never been without heartache too far behind.
I withered on the floor, wanting this pain to be over. There were tears prickling in my eyes and falling when it became too much. My stomach churned, a nauseous twisting in the pit of my stomach. A cold sweat laced my forehead.
A gentle touch rested on my arm. I jumped at the sudden feeling, wanting to move away from the warmth. That shadow was messing with me!
"Kitty?"
My ears twitched at the sound of a different voice.
Ladybug's voice.
I relaxed but still was in no shape to respond. I was just glad she was here with me and I did not have to embark on this alone.
"I believe in you too."
Her words rang out louder than any symphony. I would have smiled a little, now knowing that she believes in me too. The same words I used to encourage her through her turmoil.
If Ladybug can fight through her demons, I can do so as well.
I am not in this alone. I have people who care about me. Master Fu. Ladybug. Vesperia. Nino. Alya. Carapace. Rena Rouge. Plagg, even if he does not show it. All the other rebels who have stood by me over the years.
There is Zoe, who has experienced the same trauma as I had. She too was abandoned by her parents and learned why. A cruel truth I had feared for myself too. I was fortunate of being ignorantly blissful of the reason though. I would have to thank Fu for such knowledge I did not understand all those years ago, but I do now.
He was right. I was either devastated or going mad trying to find information, losing myself in the process.
It is time to let go.
I have a family and I am not ready to lose any of them.
"Why should...I care what...you think?" I gasped between breaths, "You may have given...me life...but you are...no mother of mine. I...have none."
I heard "mother" growl in irritation.
"Do not fool yourself with petty lies! You have always wanted to know the truth about me even when you tried to deny it!" She mocked.
I let out a chuckle, getting a raised eyebrow from the shadow.
"My, you are more delusional than I thought. Good riddance! It is a good thing that I do not have to deal with something as obnoxious as you," she said. Yet, I could hear the slight desperation in her voice. She could not hide that from me. I smirked.
"I could...care less what you...think of me," I responded, "How about you...take a hike and get out...of my life for good, mother?"
She let out a monstrous roar. I steeled my nerves and fought to shakily stand on my feet. Ladybug was next to me, helping me up. I gave her an appreciative smile before returning my attention to the furious shadow.
As "mother" began to wither away, she spoke one last thing before disappearing.
"It was no wonder Kagami was DYING to get away from you," she hysterically laughed. It felt like a gun had shot me in the heart. I let out a grunt of pain and held the area where my heart was. I nearly tumbled over if it was not for Ladybug keeping me on my feet.
I snarled at where the shadow was. With a spike of fury, I ran at the wall where she lingered and punched it. Yet, she was already gone and the room had gone silent.
"You get back here, you coward!" I hissed, "You are not allowed to speak of her in that way!"
Another pathway opened up, telling us to move on.
"Chat Noir!" Ladybug called, having moved back to my side. The rush of anger I had before immediately depleted and I almost fell once again. Once again, Ladybug held me up and placed my arm around her shoulder.
I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Once I calmed down, I turned back to my partner.
"Thank you, Ladybug. I could not have done that without you," I said, gratefully.
Her concerned demeanor shifted into a small, unsure smile.
"Uh, y-yes! Thank you too! It was excellent teamwork, my—uh, pal! I could not have do-done it without you either," she scrambled her reply, scuffing her foot on the ground. I could make out a hint of redness on her cheeks as she looked away. Was she acting sheepish?
I raised an eyebrow. She was acting odd again. Before I could question her, Ladybug suddenly began to talk again.
"While you were in your mind...battle...thing," she winced at her wording, waving her hand around, "I was wondering if that chandelier could be where the Akuma could be hidden."
I glanced over at the chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
"Why do you believe it to be so?" I asked, curious.
"We-Well, I thought back to our last fight and wondered if this Akuma was hidden in a tricky spot too. Maybe, it is tricking us to move onward and miss the Akuma," she explained, "It does not hurt to try...if-if you want to that is!"
I looked to the new path and then over to the chandelier. I would rather not have to continue if there is a chance. It cannot hurt to try. Besides, Ladybug does have a point. It could be tricking us with this new path and miss the object.
"I shall give it a try," I offered, unraveling my arm from her shoulders. After I took my first step, my knee gave out on me. Ladybug was ready to steady me on my feet...again.
"Thank you, Kitty, but I can do this. The only thing I want you to be doing right now is waiting until I release the cure," Ladybug assured, "You can barely stand as is."
I hummed in agreement though I was not fond of the idea. I could not waste any more time arguing about my limits. By now, the nightmare house is probably terrorizing the poor section.
"Go on then," I urged her, nudging my head over to the chandelier. I unraveled my arm and leaned up against the wall. Ladybug approached the fancy decoration before skeptically looking around.
"What is the matter?" I asked.
"This feels...too easy," she explained. My alertness spiked tenfold and searched the room for anything peculiar. Ladybug was correct. Even with our trials, capturing the Akuma now seems too easy. She did not even use her powers. Was there really nothing else guarding it?
"I will keep an eye. You just focus on getting-" my words instantly stopped forming once my gaze returned to Ladybug. It felt like all my air ducts were cut off and I could not let any airflow into my lungs. I did not need to see my eyes to know they are dilating. My body froze in a state of shock, disbelief, and fear.
I could practically hear my heartbeat thumping in my chest.
Ladybug stared back at me with a shadowy hand over her mouth, containing any sound she tried to produce.
The shadow had a crooked smile. Instead of the ghostly white, its eyes were yellow. Claw-like fingers dug into the sides of Ladybug's face slightly, causing it to break skin and bleed.
This shadow...I knew this form all too well.
This Akuma was the same one that killed the last Ladybug—killed Kagami.
"No..." I shakily thought, "Not again. Not again. Not again."
Flashing images of Kagami sprawled out on the ground in a pool of her own blood, her final smile before taking her last breath, the small tree that took root in her final resting spot...
...even her scream still haunts my nightmares, along with the maniacal laughter of the demon that took her from me. That Akuma enjoyed every second of misery.
All of it never left my mind like a scar that still throbbed with phantom pains.
My fear was slowly being drowned out by red. It was all I could see. Every sound was blocked out. Instinct took over and every muscle moved on its own. I lost complete control of myself and attacked with a silent, deadly frenzy.
Yet, I blacked out. I had no idea what happened after I took the first step toward the shadow and Ladybug. What was happening?
"Chat Noir!"
That voice...
"Chat! Wake up!"
I know that voice.
"Chat!"
Ladybug?
I slowly fluttered my eyes open. It took a few seconds for my blurry vision to solidify. Soon, the fuzzy red and blue above me turned into Ladybug with the sky in the background. Ladybug had a relieved look on her face. I groaned when the sunlight shined in my eyes.
"Chat Noir, are you okay now?" She asked, worry laced in her voice.
"I think so," I replied, blinking away the haziness, "What exactly happened? Where did the house go?"
"Do you really not remember what happened?" Ladybug asked, surprised. I tried to recall the events that happened inside the house...but the last thing I could recall was the Akuma possibly being in the chandelier.
"We were discussing how the Akuma had been in the chandelier. I assume you were correct and we won?" I guessed. Yet, I do not understand why I could not remember what happened after.
Ladybug looked away for a moment before giving me an odd look, "Uh—yeah, that is exactly what happened!"
I raised an eyebrow at her hesitation and suspicious behavior. I could see right through her obvious lie. Something else clearly happened when I blanked out.
"Ladybug, what are you not telling me?" I questioned her, sitting up. She opened her mouth and then closed it, her gaze traveling away again.
"Well...uh, I do not quite know all myself. But I believe you had lost control," she answered.
"What do you mean by "lost control?" I asked.
"What do you think I mean, Chat? You were completely unaware of everything! You could not hear me when I called out to you and lost all sense of reason! Your main focus was to attack that shadow!" Ladybug hissed.
I was shocked by the onslaught of words coming from my partner. But what surprised me most was what she was saying. Did that really happen? Did I lose control of myself?
I looked down at my hands, wondering what I all did.
"Did I hurt you?" I asked, quietly. I was afraid that I may have caused her harm in my blind fury. She released a long sigh.
"No, you did not. While you attacked the shadow, I used my Lucky Charm and figured out a plan. Then, the shadow knocked you out and I took care of the rest," she explained. A wave of relief washed over me. I would never forgive myself for injuring her, even if I had a purpose.
"And where are Carapace and Rena Rouge?" I asked.
"I do not know," Ladybug replied, scanning the area. I did as well, seeing we were on top of a roof. I noticed how close we were to the poor section. That was a close call...too close.
Ladybug stood up and offered me a hand, which I graciously took. She helped me to my feet and continued to search for the rest of our missing team.
"Are you sure you are okay?" Ladybug fussed again.
"Yes," I answered, "I am quite exhausted but I do believe I am okay."
She had an unsure look etched in her features. She knew there was something wrong but did not press me for more answers. Instead, she turned her gaze to the street.
"There they are!" she pointed down at the street at the couple. There stood Rena and Carapace below on the street. Yet, I immediately knew something was wrong. Rena was a few feet away from Carapace and continued to step away from him, keeping her distance.
Mortification was expressed on her face, looking like prey backed up into a corner by a predator. I could tell by her body language that she was about to run at the slightest bit of movement.
Carapace seemed like he was trying to convince her but it only made it worse. Rena Rouge was petrified of Carapace for some reason—her beloved.
Eventually, Rena did run off.
Ladybug was about to take off after her but I caught her wrist. She turned to me and I shook my head "no." Whatever happened, Rena needed some space for right now. If she was terrified of Carapace, I cannot imagine she would be too thrilled with us either.
I let go of her and jumped down from the building, landing near the holder of the turtle miraculous. Ladybug had followed.
"Carapace," I started, "What happened?"
Carapace's back faced us so I could not see his face to know what he was feeling. He was completely silent though, which only made my concern expand.
"Carapace?" Ladybug questioned.
Finally, Carapace looked over his shoulder. There was confusion and disbelief shown in his facial features. He was paralyzed on the spot as if still processing the information he had received.
"I..." he paused, still reeling from whatever happened. Then, he concluded with a murmur falling off his lips.
"...I am not quite sure myself."
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