More angsty fluff than smut for this chapter ...

Sirius let out a groan as he shifted back from Padfoot's form, the cuts in his shoulder pulling as his body twisted and re-shaped itself. As he pulled on the trousers he'd shed hours earlier, he looked down at his bare, pale torso, and swallowed hard when he saw the amount of blood that was still caked his chest. He needed to wipe some of it off, get rid of it, before -

'Padfoot?' The voice was croaky, pained, and Sirius immediately forgot about his appearance as he hurried towards the crumpled figure in the opposite corner of the Shreaking Shack.

'Moony? You alright?'

'Yeah,' Remus grunted, but he was holding his hip, his eyes squeezed shut, his teeth gritted together. Sirius instantly stooped to slide his arm under Remus', circling it around his back so that he could support the tall boy while he got to his feet. He helped him limp across the room to the sagging bed against the wall, and Remus sighed as he lowered himself onto the mattress. He took a sharp inhale, his hands flying up to his ribs, then he froze, his eyes still closed.

'Why ... Why can I smell you blood?' His voice was soft now, trembling, and Sirius knew instantly what Remus was imagining. His heart hurt when he thought of the self-loathing that Remus had so often told him that he experienced, and he cursed himself for not having his wand, for not having cleaned himself up in time.

'Well, um, don't freak out - ' he began, but Remus' head snapped up, and Sirius could only watch as the werewolf tried to focus on him. Tired amber eyes widened and the tanned, scarred face paled when he saw the blood on Sirius' torso.

'Oh, God,' he choked out. 'What ... D-did I - '

'It's not a bite, Love,' Sirius blurted, rushing to Remus' side to give him a better look at the deep scratches in his shoulder. 'You didn't bite me. It's just a scratch. It's my fault, I got a bit excited and the wolf was just reminding me of the pecking order and - '

'Christ, Sirius!' Remus' head fell into his hands and he pulled at his curls, hard enough that Sirius worried that he would tear his hair out. 'How - '

There was a creak from the passage behind Sirius, and both boys turned to face it, their heads cocking to one side in pure canine focus. Footsteps began echoing down the tunnel, and Sirius whipped back around to look at Remus, who was now almost impossibly white.

'It's Poppy,' Remus said, then met Sirius' gaze as he whispered urgently, 'Hide.'

'But - '

'Later,' Remus growled, and after a second Sirius nodded. He shifted into Padfoot once more, and slunk under the bed, squeezing his large frame into the tight space and pressing his back against the wall, praying to Merlin that he wouldn't be visible from the Shack's doorway. He concentrated on slowing his breathing, resisting the dog's nervous urge to pant and whine as Madam Pomfrey entered the room.

'Good morning, Remus,' she said as she walked towards the bed. Sirius could hear the smile in her voice as she added softly, 'Merry Christmas.'

'Merry Christmas, Poppy,' Remus mumbled, and without even seeing him Sirius knew that the boy on the bed was blushing. Remus had always struggled with pleasantries, even when he was usually so gratingly polite to all adults and authority figures. Sirius found it harder and harder to lie still under the bed, listening to Madam Pomfrey check Remus' body and vital signs. He clenched his teeth together when Remus hissed in pain, and had to force himself to remain hidden and not jump out to comfort his boyfriend, to bark and snarl at the person who was causing him more pain than he already had to deal with.

Finally, Madam Pomfrey gave Remus a pain-relieving potion, and she helped him to his feet, her arm looped through his so that he could sublty lean on her as they both left the Shack. Sirius laid his muzzle on his paws and waited, giving them time to clear the Whomping Willow and trying not to think about the pit of dread that was growing in his stomach. The urge to chase after Remus, to explain everything, to stop that self-hating cycle he knew that boy would be in, pulled at every muscle in his body, but he knew there was nothing he could do right now without risking giving them all away.

So he waited until he felt sufficient time had passed before wriggling out from under the bed frame and stalking out of the Shack. After checking the grounds were empty, the big black dog lolloped across the lawn, trying to stick to shadows and staying out of sight of Hogwarts' many windows. Once back inside, he immediately shifted to his human body and began racing through the castle, his pounding footsteps echoing in the empty halls as he made his way to the Gryffindor tower. He was out of breath by the time he reached it, but he wasted no time as he ran up to their shared dorm.

He snatched his wand from his bedside table and cast some quick cleaning and healing charms before hurriedly changing his clothing, pulling on one of Remus' huge jumpers over his band shirt in the hopes that this would reduce the smell of his blood enough to avoid worrying Remus any further. He jogged into the bathroom, emerging minutes later with his toothbrush in his mouth and his long hair now wound around his wand, secured in a messy bun to the back of his head. As he chewed the bristles of the brush, he crossed the room to his bed and threw open the heavy lid of his trunk, digging around inside and muttering muffled, minty curses under his breath until he found what he was looking for.

His toothbrush was sent flying in the general direction of the bathroom as he hurriedly exited the dormroom, jumping down the stairs two at a time and landing nimbly at the bottom, only to push off again in a sprint. He heard the Fat Lady squawking something as he burst through the portrait hole, but he was already off, head down, jogging through the halls once more, this time in the direction of the Hospital Wing. His palms were sweaty around the parcel he was clutching, and he paused outside the infirmary to wipe his hands on his black jeans before he pushed the door open quietly and snuck inside.

'Mr Black.' Sirius almost jumped out of his own skin at the voice, and with his heartbeat pounding in his own ears he turned quickly to find Madam Pomfrey, sitting in her office, watching him through the open door. He let out a slow, calming breath, and allowed the easy, natural, notorious Sirius Black grin to spread across his face.

'Good morning, Madam Pomfrey,' he said, then lifted the item in his hands for her to see. 'Merry Christmas. Alright if Santa pays our invalid a visit?'

'Only if you promise not to upset him,' she said sternly, raising an eyebrow at him. Sirius nodded solemly, and her face softened as she lowered her voice to murmur, 'He's been more quiet than usual this morning.'

'Mr Lupin, quiet?' Sirius said in mock horror, carefully ignoring the tightening in his chest and the creeping feeling that, wherever Remus was, he could hear every word of this conversation. 'Are you sure you've got the right patient in there?'

Despite herself, Madam Pomfrey's lips twitched into a small smile, but it was gone again as she rose to lead Sirius down the empty wing, towards the only bed with the curtains closed around it. She left him outside the bed area with a warning of 'not too much noise, now', and returned to her office. As her steps died away, Sirius wiped his hands once again on his jeans, and wondered how he should announce his presence so as not to upset the bed's occupant.

'You can come in,' Remus called from behind the curtains. 'I've been able to hear your heartbeat from the moment you arrived outside the doors.'

'Sorry,' Sirius muttered, slipping inside the bed area and giving Remus a sheepish smile. Remus' face was still a little palid, and the bags under his eyes had grown darker since they'd been separated, but he managed to smile wanly at Sirius as he slowly approached the bed. Sirius set his parcel down by Remus' feet, and was about to lean in to kiss his forehead when Remus' face hardened.

'Show me.' Sirius knew what he was asking for, and silently thanked himself for his earlier actions. He peeled the jumper and his shirt up so that Remus could see his shoulder. He knew that the cuts looked greatly improved from when Remus had first seen them, but the other boy still sucked in a breath through his teeth, his amber eyes filling with regret and self-directed anger. His gaze lingered on Sirius' shoulder, then flicked up to meet his grey eyes, which were fixed on Remus' face. His voice was gravelly as he said, 'Tell me what happened.'

Sirius cast a wandless silencing charm around the bed area before he responded. He looked at his shuffling feet before beginning, 'It really was my fault, Re. I was just ... I got a bit too excited. We were playing, and I forgot myself a bit, and I didn't show submission. The wolf pinned me, but instead of stopping I fought against it and tore my own shoulder on its claws.'

'So ... so I didn't - ' Sirius looked up again to find Remus watching him intently, conflicting emotions flitting across his face so rapidly that it almost made Sirius dizzy trying to keep up.

'The wolf wasn't trying to hurt me,' Sirius told him quietly. 'It was an accident.'

He watched cautiously as Remus ran a hand distractedly through his bronzed curls, his gaze drifting as he disappeared into his own mind. Sirius found himself focusing on the small crease that always appeared between Remus' brows when he was thinking hard about something. After a while, Remus let out a slow, steady breath before his eyes lifted to meet Sirius' again.

'I knew that this was a bad idea. All of it, all of this ... ' Remus paused, then lowered his voice. 'This animal stuff. I knew I shouldn't have let it go on like this.'

'Moony - '

'No, Sirius. It's too dangerous. We've just proven that. I don't think you guys should do this any more.'

'But Moony - '

'God, I was so fucking stupid to think that any of this could work,' Remus groaned, his head dropping back against the wall behind his bed. 'I shouldn't have let you all put yourselves at risk like that. How fucking selfish - '

'REMUS! Would you just listen?' They both froze as Sirius' voice reverberated back against the silencing shield, and the whole area seemed to go completely still as they waited for the tell-tale sound of Madam Pomfrey's heels. After a minute, though, there was no sound of movement from the top of the wing, and Sirius breathed out slowly, glad that his spell had held. He met Remus' gaze once more, and waited for him to indicate that he was ready to hear what Sirius had to say. Remus stared at him for a moment, then purposefully pressed his lips together, his eyes locked on Sirius'. Sirius knew that he'd only get one shot at this, so he thought hard before he spoke again.

'After it ... after it happened, the wolf was pretty distraught. It kept crying, and it did its best to clean up the cuts and groomed me all night. Any time I tried to get up, it just held me closer and wouldn't let me go. It kept nudging me with its nose, like it was asking for forgiveness. And when we needed to get back to the Shack, it walked so close to me that it was practically carrying me most of the way.'

Remus gaped at Sirius as he told him this, a look of utter disbelief plastered across his face. For a moment, Sirius worried that he really wouldn't believe him, that Remus really would call an end to the whole thing and go back to being locked up alone every full moon, left in the dark to tear himself apart. But then Remus' face crumpled, and his head dropped into his hands, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

Sirius was up on the bed instantly, straddling Remus' lap as he wound his slender arms around broad shoulders, holding the crying boy close to his chest. He felt Remus' arms snake around his waist, pulling him in tighter and nuzzling into Sirius' neck. Sirius held him as Remus' breathing slowed, happy to stay here, enveloped in Remus' scent. But he soon began to worry about Remus' hip, about how sore he always got post-transformation, and tried to shift out of his boyfriend's lap. Remus clung to him, refusing to let him move, and Sirius had a distinct flashback to the previous night, when the wolf had held him just as determinedly.

'You're wearing my jumper,' Remus suddenly murmured, his voice muffled against Sirius' wool-clad shoulder. Sirius sighed, relieved that Remus had stopped talking about banning him and the others from joining him during full moons. Sirius was more than happy to let the subject drop. For now, at least.

'Is that alright?' Sirius carded his hand through Remus' mussed hair, guiding his head back and cradling the back of the boy's neck so that Sirius could look down into his face. Remus' eyes were red and puffy, and he looked absolutely exhausted.

'Hides your smell,' he grumbled, his face screwed up in disappointment, and Sirius laughed as he dipped his head to gently kiss Remus' pouting lips. The talk of smells sparked something in Sirius, though, reminding him of the parcel at the end of the bed. Remus protested when he tried to extricate himself from his arms, so Sirius settled for twisting in his grip, reaching behind him for the box and presenting it with a flourish.

'Joyeux Noël, mon amour.'

'Oh, Love,' Remus whispered, finally releasing Sirius to lift slightly shaking hands to take the present. 'Yours is in the dorm, I didn't even think - '

'Don't worry about that,' Sirius said, shifting to sit on the mattress between Remus' knees so that he had space to open his gift. 'You can give it to me later.' He watched as Remus delicately pulled open the large golden bow before peeling aside the vivid red wrapping paper. When he saw what was inside, he froze, gazing down at it as though he'd never seen anything like this before.

'It's a new jumper,' Sirius explained, a little unnerved by Remus' reaction. 'I noticed your favourite one was getting a bit holey, and that one was the closest in colour and feel that I could find. But I've been wearing that one under my robes for weeks now, so it should smell like me. And I've also wrapped it around some of your favourite tea and chocolate, so that it'll smell like all of your favourite things.' Remus let out a soft, huffing laugh at this, but Sirius was concerned to see tears sparkling in his eyes. 'Re? I can return it and get you something else if - '

Sirius' throat closed when Remus raised the jumper to his face and inhaled deeply as he emitted a low, steady rumble. Sirius had realised long ago that the sound was similar in both sound and purpose to that of a cat's purr, and he grinned at this clear display of Remus' happiness.

'I love it,' Remus whispered, carefully unrolling the boxes of tea and chocolate from inside the garment. Sirius helped him to pull it on, and sat beaming at how handsome his Moony looked in his new sweater. Still purring, Remus opened his arms, and Sirius shuffled around on the narrow hospital bed, sliding his thin body alongside Remus' and wrapping his arms around the boy's ribs. Remus planted kisses into his black hair, and Sirius was just getting comfortable when something niggled at the back of his mind.

'Moony?'

'Mmm?'

'You're not ... You're not really going to stop us coming out with you, are you?' Sirius felt Remus stiffen in his arms, and he held his breath, waiting for the response. Finally, Remus relaxed a little and kissed Sirius' temple.

'I want to, Love,' he murmured, and Sirius' heart skipped a beat. Remus must have heard this, as he hastily added, 'But I don't know that it would be a good idea at this point. Like you said the other day, the wolf is always much calmer when it can fulfil its instincts. And from what you've said, it sounds like Padfoot is quite an integral part of the wolf's pack now. I don't know what the wolf would do if it was deprived of that, and I'm not sure I want to find out.'

'OK, good,' Sirius mumbled. He had felt himself blushing at the mention of being part of Remus' pack, and he dearly hoped that he was controlling his heart rate well enough that Remus wouldn't notice how giddy the notion had made him.

'I love you,' Remus whispered into his hair, and Sirius found he was too choked up to respond, so he just held Remus tighter, hoping to convey his own love through the contact. He could hear the grin in Remus' words as he sighed, 'Merry Christmas, Pads.'