Quote of the Chapter:
"It never occurred to me that our lives, until then so closely interwoven, could unravel and separate over a thing like that. But the fact was, I suppose, there were powerful tides tugging us apart by then, and it only needed something like that to finish the task." - Kazuo Ishiguro, Never Let Me Go
Chapter Twenty-Five: We're no longer (interwoven)
Who'd have thought that she'd be here again, bawling her eyes out on Jericho's sofa, halfway through a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream? Definitely not Elizabeth Liones, that's for sure.
Meliodas had lied to her, for years apparently. About something important, something life-shattering, that she'd thought he'd always been honest about. One thing that they had always promised to be transparent about, one thing that they had vowed to always tell the other about, and he had completely spat in her face with his lies about it. He stomped all over her transparency.
Who'd have thought that this was all it took? Meliodas had lied to her and that was enough. Facing that reality, being handed the truth in a sudden twist of cruel reality, was all it took for Elizabeth to finally snap. The camel's back had finally given in.
Never had she thought that it would get this far. Through all their arguments, through all their trials and tribulations, Elizabeth had always believed that she and Meliodas would never end up falling into such bad terms. As things calmed down last year, as they came to terms with coexisting, Elizabeth had always thought - had always firmly told herself - that they would remain tightly interwoven, like strands of thread in embroidery, never to be tugged free from their permanent patterns. How stupid she had been. How foolishly naive.
"I told you," Jericho mumbled around her warm apple crumble, pale custard dribbling down her chin. Blue light from the TV flashed across her face as she glared softly, wiping away the offending dairy product. "I warned you."
"I know," Elizabeth murmured in return, sniffing as she set her ice-cream aside. Just for her, specially bought, Jericho had reserved her all time favourite of chocolate fudge brownie. Just for her, Jericho had set up the sofa bed, fluffed out her blankets and pulled out the trashy rom-coms. All for sad, pathetic her... "I'd just - I thought..."
"That he would care?" Jericho finished, raising a snarky brow. Just like her expression, her voice said it all; she considered Meliodas like the unwanted shit on her shoes. "We all think that people care, Elizabeth. That's why so many people fall victim to the stars in their eyes. We paint images of people, of the ones we love, that are impossible to uphold. Then, when we discover the truth, or they fail to uphold it, well... that's when things get messy."
Messy was an understatement in her predicament. Oh messy was just covering the surface, picking up a tiny piece and staring at it with the naked eye. Even that tiny piece, a mere fraction of the entire picture, lacked the true scale of fuckery and lies that had built up over the past two years. At least a trillion messes would have to be added together to even equate to a quarter of how messy this all was.
"Yes, I know, but," Elizabeth bit her lip, already feeling foolish as she felt the excuses piling on her tongue, clogging up her throat. Always, she was making excuses. Anxiously, her fingers toyed with the tub of ice-cream, tapping against the cool container, "Things were getting better. We were- "
"Elizabeth you need to stop twisting yourself in two over this guy," Jericho interrupted, firm as she shoved another spoonful of piping hot crumble into her mouth. Staring straight at the TV she drew attention to the characters, a group of women attempting to seek revenge on the supposed 'heart-breaker' who had used their friend. "I get that you love your roommate but you can't tangle yourself up for someone else. It's not healthy."
Silently, Elizabeth watched as the women underwent their makeover: a pretty uncomfortable dress that would ride up for hours on end, ankle-twisting heels and a face of makeup that probably felt suffocating in the summer heat. All of this effort, all of these lengths and talents, were being wasted on obtaining an impossible goal - a person who didn't even want the main character in the end.
Instead, right before her own love-blind eyes, the main character's best friend was pining for her. Hidden by the smog of every day interactions, tiny conversations that felt like nothing, the main character's friend was longing for true love. They loved her before all the effort; they loved her for simply being her. Tight dresses and glittery makeup be damned.
Was the same thing playing out in Elizabeth's life? Was she like this woman, so blinded by love - her own perception of true love, that she missed the person right in front of her, begging for a chance to be seen?
She'd never... considered that before. She'd never thought about Meliodas being an impossible goal before.
Maybe she should think like that.
"So what should I do?" Elizabeth eventually whispered, eyes still glued to the TV. Now let down by the asshole who wanted her change, the main character was face-to-face with her friend. They were talking, laughing as they recounted the last time this had happened - way back when they were teens. "I've never... just been away like this."
"I say you wait it out," Jericho continued, munching on another spoonful of custard and crumble. Clinking against the bowl, her spoon scraped against the smooth sides, trying to get as much custard as possible. "Create space between you two and use the time to think. If anything, the time apart will give him time to process it too."
On screen the pair were dancing now, reconciling after their gigantic tiff about the main character's asshole love interest. Usually, in these sorts of movies that relied on perfect timing and comedic mishaps, space apart resulted in the characters finding true love. Misunderstandings, arguments spewed over jealousy and anger and hurt, were always patched up by a lengthy separation period.
Often, real life was never actually far off from such movies. Yes, Hollywood did amp up the more unrealistic factors - such as the perfect timing and cheesy lines - but it always drew inspiration from real life. Novels, songs, anything to do with sharing a story always drew inspiration from real life. So maybe, just maybe, Elizabeth's key to moving on - patching herself up after years of sometimes-neglect and piercing wounds - was drawing inspiration from fiction.
On screen it worked; in real life it could work. At this point, what else did she have to lose?
"Alright," Elizabeth nodded, just as the scene was coming to a close. A small determined smile sat on her lips. "I'll do that."
"Great!" Jericho cheered just as the actors stopped dancing, their faces pressed together in the typical Hollywood kiss. Violently, the spoon tinkled in her bowl as she leaned forward, trapping Elizabeth in a firm hug. "You're on your way to recovery, Ellie. Just three more weeks of crying to go!"
"You're making it sound terrible, Jericho," Elizabeth chuckled from her friend's tight grip, fighting back the wince that threatened to surface from her words. Learning to be on her own again definitely was going to be tough; avoiding everything to do with Meliodas was going to be tough. Everything she did revolved around him, strung them together like a complicated crochet quilt.
"Well I never said it was a walk in the park," Jericho shrugged, pulling apart from Elizabeth. Nonchalant, she returned to munching on her crumble, more custard escaping her lips as she continued, "I just said it was healthier than tying yourself into invisible knots."
Oh wise words Jericho. Very wise. It was just a shame that it was difficult to take her seriously at the moment, custard spilling from her chin and charcoal face mask plastered on her skin.
"Yep," Elizabeth hummed, knowing that she should take some advice from the heartbreak veteran but also aware that she shouldn't be taken too seriously. Jericho was known to bounce from one relationship to another, never settling for anything less than perfection. Nevertheless, she was making valid points...
Biting her lip, Elizabeth sighed, "Speaking of healthy, can I stay here? I think being around the person I'm meant to avoid won't help."
"Of course you can stay! Take a long as you need," Jericho grinned, excitement filling her eyes as she set down her now empty bowl. "Although on Tuesday, you've gotta stay out for the night."
"Why?" Elizabeth blinked. Usually Jericho was available on Tuesdays - it was her reserved day for staying at home and enjoying the evening quiet. Even dates were pushed to the next day if someone tried to get her out on a Tuesday night.
"Game night," Jericho answered quickly, rolling her eyes. "Finally. Would you believe that Guila actually managed to get the night off? I guess finding Zeal a babysitter is really difficult."
That would explain it. There was no secret in the office that Guila and Jericho were pretty close knit and made their own secretive plans without including anyone else. Diane often described them as two people who acted as one, Guila serving as the brain for their actions and Jericho seizing full control of the stomach and heart. Together those two women could get anything done; together they were unstoppable.
So game night plans shouldn't have been a surprise. Elizabeth shouldn't have felt like she was intruding by knowing about it, staying over at Jericho's just to escape the shitty elements of her every day life. Pangs shouldn't have taken hold of her heart, sending stinging signals through her bones and arteries at the thought of missing out, being lonely once again just like she was in her early childhood.
No - Elizabeth shouldn't had felt that way. Maybe that was why she tried to patch it up, cover it with a false bandage like she always did.
"If she's ever short on a babysitter, I can do it," Elizabeth offered, hating the way she sounded so desperate for something to do. Something to fill the sudden void left in her life. Cringing, she stabbed her spoon into her ice-cream. "You know, since I'm free."
"I'll tell her about that," Jericho smiled softly, gratefully, seeming content as she turned back to the TV. The credits were rolling now, black and white names floating on the screen. "She's always complaining about childcare fees."
For a good moment they sat in silence, watching the credits flick by on screen, a few choice clips playing over the music. Quite a few featured the actors breaking character or takes that were more comedic takes on the final product. The standard for a rom-com released in the late 2000s. Elizabeth had seen at least a dozen of them in the past year, around a good fifty percent including highlights from filming.
Beside her, Jericho was stretching and getting ready to call it a night.
Collecting her bowl and adjusting her dressing gown, she turned to Elizabeth raising a brow, "You finished with Ben and Jerry?"
"Nope," Elizabeth shook her head, picking up the remote and ready to choose her next generic movie of the night. Preferably one with a lengthy run time. A slight grin stretched on her lips as she chuckled, "They're gonna be here for a while."
"The true enemy of every partner - the accursed addictive ice-cream brand," Jericho sighed, tutting as she shook her head. A stern look, more comical than stern, bent her brows as she placed a hand on her hip. "Just don't touch my cookies and cream and we're even."
"Got it," Elizabeth nodded, humming as she popped a fresh spoon of ice-cream into her mouth. "Night Jericho."
"Night Elizabeth," The woman called in return, already drifting toward her kitchen. A loud clink in the sink - her dropping the custard bowl off for the night. "Call me if you feel lonely."
Yeah, if she felt lonely. What if lonely just was her permanent setting, only vaporized by the one human being, the one person on this entire planet, that she couldn't stand? What could Elizabeth do then?
Frankly, as she squeezed her borrowed pillows, the woman just didn't know. She had spent so long coexisting with Meliodas that she had forgotten how to exist without him.
Now all she felt was loneliness.