Author's notes: Thanks again to all who have been reading and reviewing! As usual, I've been using FF dot net's system to reply to signed-in users, so I'll just leave a particular thanks to Flame for sharing his thoughts. I've been having fun working out Haruhi's evolving feelings with her, so it's always good to hear readers' reactions to that.

As is my custom, I'll be taking a break from posting chapters for Christmas, so I'll be back in four weeks with chapter 5. See you all January 13, and keep those reviews coming.

- Chapter 4: The Wisdom of Shamisen -

Haruhi was the first to leave the meeting. On an inexplicably stupid impulse, I offered to walk home with her.

She gave me a withering look, said, "I think I can find the way on my own," and turned her back on me so sharply that you'd think I had asked her to show me her underwear.

The funny part was, her reaction wasn't connected to her bad mood. Even a guy who'd sat in front of her in class and been in her club for well over a year would have to catch her in a perfectly optimal mood to get to walk home with her. Haruhi had opened up the doors to friendship, but it was still pretty much "no admittance" for male attention.

Nonetheless, her mood was my primary concern right now. I turned to Koizumi. "Even you can tell that there's something wrong with her, right?"

"Of course. In fact, I have even come up with a theory as to what."

"I'm probably not going to like this," I sighed. "Okay, what is it?"

"In your most recent adventure..." Koizumi moved one of his rooks to take my bishop. "...Miss Suzumiya witnessed what appeared to be you being killed by Kuyoh Suoh. Shortly after she discovered you were alive, she saw an alternate version of Ryoko Asakura attempt to kill you. You were saved only by an unprecedented display of Miss Suzumiya's powers. This adventure was also not so long after you attempted to save Miss Suzumiya by hurling yourself off a precipice from which you would have reached terminal velocity had not a celestial caught you. Are you beginning to recognize a pattern here?"

"Me looking hopelessly impotent in front of Haruhi?" I took his rook with my knight, feeling more bored than gratified that he had fallen into such an obvious trap.

"You nearly dying in front of her. It seems to have triggered in her a serious contemplation of death."

"...Well, that explains her sudden fascination with Christianity and its belief in an afterlife." I leaned back. "So what are we supposed to do about it?"

"What can we ever do about death?" He shrugged. "Death is inevitable; that is a well-known fact of life. Each of us must make his or her own decision about how to face it." He moved a pawn into position to attack my knight.

I scowled. "You're saying she might be going Christian for real, and we just have to stand back and let her do it?"

"Indeed, she might, and if we are truly her friends then we would have to, though you can certainly argue with her against it if you so wish. But no, that is not what I am saying. I am merely saying that there is no way that we can steer Miss Suzumiya away from the subject of death before she has found an answer to it which satisfies her. And she certainly seems to be searching for that answer. That would, I think, explain her sudden desire to visit her aunt Kanae – who, as a cancer survivor, has had to confront the question of death already."

"You think she's going to ask her aunt how to deal with the fact that she's going to die?" I lazily moved my knight out of danger and in position to attack his queen.

"Very likely. However, if that were all she wanted, she could simply ask her aunt over the phone, couldn't she?" He smiled.

I opened my mouth, wanting to say something about how you couldn't expect Haruhi to behave logically, but he really had me here. I got the sense myself that Haruhi wanted a lot more out of this trip than a chat with her aunt. I just didn't have any idea of what.

I took a sip of Miss Asahina's wonderful tea to reinvigorate myself, then came back with, "Okay, then what is it? What is she planning to do on this trip?"

"I haven't the slightest." That response alone was enough to make me want to punch him. And then of course he had to add: "But I take comfort in knowing that she was wise enough to invite you along. Whatever existential terrors she faces on this trip, you will be there to offer her comfort and reassurance, and can be trusted to not take advantage of her in her distress."

I clenched my fist. Ten seconds. I would give him ten seconds to rephrase that, or for an alternate method of venting my anger at him to reveal itself, and then I was going to punch him.

He moved his queen back to escape my knight, putting her right in front of his king. Blocking his king's ability to advance.

...Yeah, that would do. I moved my rook in line with his king. "Checkmate," I declared with particular satisfaction.

Haruhi hadn't said when we were leaving for her aunt's, so I had to assume we would be going straight there from school as soon as classes let out if I didn't want to be caught off-guard. That left me only two afternoons to prepare for the trip. First things first: I got permission to go from my mom. I decided to save the actual packing for tomorrow afternoon. Haruhi was sure to give me a list of things to bring by then, and anyway, I needed to start seeking advice on how to deal with this whole situation that Haruhi had dragged me into.

I went to my sister's room. But she wasn't the one I was going to get advice from; she still wasn't in on the secrets of the SOS Brigade and Haruhi's powers. I briefly contemplated filling her in, just to see Koizumi's reaction, but realized that that might get Nagato and Miss Asahina in trouble with their superiors. Besides, she probably wouldn't believe me.

"What is it, Kyon?" my sister grumbled. "I'm trying to do my homework."

I don't think I'll ever stop wishing she would show respect for her big brother the way she used to, but I couldn't fault her for being diligent about her studies. "Haruhi and I are going to visit her aunt this weekend. She invited you to come."

"Whoa, really?" She wasn't looking at her homework anymore. She was gaping up at me with saucer eyes. "You really want me to come with you?"

"Haruhi invited you, not me," I repeated. "Anyway, we're just going to hang out at her aunt's house. It's not an exciting trip at all." And frankly, though I was obligated to pass along the invitation, I would rather she didn't come. I didn't want my little sister exposed to Haruhi struggling with the notion of death.

"Yaaaaay!" she cheered, and jumped out of her chair to hug me around the waist. It was as if she didn't hear a word I just said. She started prancing around me and chanting in song, holding tight to my waist all the while. "Kyon's the best, Kyon's the best! We're gonna have fun as Haruhi's guest!"

"That's Miss Suzumiya to you. And I never said we were going to have fun."

"You guys always have fun. You have fun and you hardly ever let me come along, and you tell me that it wasn't fun but you know that it was!"

"This time is different, believe me." I pushed her bangs aside from her forehead, giving me a good look into her sparkling eyes. "We'll try to have fun. But no promises, okay?"

She just giggled. This kid was headed for a major letdown. Nothing I could do about it, though. It was time to take care of the main reason I'd come in here.

I gently pushed my sister off of me. "I need to talk to Shamisen for a minute."

"He wants to be in my room right now."

"Cats don't always get what they want." I went over to her bed and scooped Shamisen off. As usual, he was perfectly compliant.

As I left my sister's room, she called after me, "What do you mean, you need to talk to him?"

I didn't answer that, of course. I just went into my own room, sat Shamisen on my bed, and closed the door. "Listen," I told him. "I need some advice."

"I don't see why you would come to me for that," he responded. "The ways of humans are too much of a mystery to me for me to be qualified to advise them."

Yeah, Shamisen had started talking again. We still hadn't figured out how or why, though he started up again when he came to that alternate universe where Ryoko Asakura tried to seduce me instead of trying to kill me. This was the same incident where Haruhi thought Kuyoh Suoh had killed me, and the less said about it, the better.

"This isn't a human-specific thing," I told him. "It's something all living things have to deal with. What do you do about the fact that one day, you're going to die? How do you cope with that?"

"I avoid it, for as long as possible." He licked a paw and rubbed it against his ear.

"I thought you might have something more philosophical to say about it."

"What do you mean?"

I sighed. "I mean, one day everything you know, everything you are, is going to be wiped out of existence. You'll never again get to chase a mouse, or play with my sister, or get sardines for dinner, or have me give you a scratch behind the ears. Yet you still go on, perfectly content. How can you do that?"

"You do just the same thing, do you not? Oh, and now that you mention it, a scratch behind the ears would be most delightful right now."

He tilted his head towards me. I sighed and started scratching the desired spot. "It's not me who's the problem. Haruhi is all worried about death all of the sudden. I'm not worried about it at all, but I don't know why, really. It just doesn't bother me."

"There is nothing to be gained by worrying about the inevitable." He continued to purr even as he said this.

"Yeah, but it's not like you can choose what to worry about, can you? Besides, it's not just the inevitable Haruhi has to worry about. Because of her power, the people close to her could die at any moment from the weirdness that follows her around. So is there any way to make Haruhi feel like she doesn't have to worry about death?"

"If that girl's life is indeed so fraught with danger, it seems to me she should worry about death."

"But then she can't be happy."

"Is it not worth giving up a share of happiness if it means living a few years longer? To acquire food and water, to keep oneself clean, to fend off rivals for one's territory, to elude predators – these are all things which require effort, especially for cats and humans living in the wild, and our lives would be considerably easier if we did not bother to do them. But our lives would also be considerably shorter. The choice to suffer and struggle for the reward of a longer life is so unanimous that when a cat or human decides to no longer bother with those things, it is assumed that they must already be near the end of their life."

"I guess that's true, but..." I fumbled. Talking to Shamisen could be incredibly annoying. I also was getting tired of scratching behind his ears at this point, but he kept on nudging his head under my palm and purring. I swear, if I weren't trying to help Haruhi with such a big problem, I wouldn't be bothering with this. "...That's not really what I'm asking. I don't mind if Haruhi is keeping a watch out for danger. I just don't want her worrying about the fact that she's going to die one day no matter what she does."

"Is that truly a fact?"

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"That girl is not like other humans. She changes things around her. I know almost nothing of what she can do or how she does it, but I cannot help but wonder: If she does not wish to ever die, can she make it so that she never does? Or even so that no one she cares about ever dies?"

The air in my room suddenly felt more chill. "...I don't know."

"I suppose that, regardless, you have only three options if you want her to not worry about death. She must either believe that she and her loved ones will never die, stop caring that she and her loved ones will one day die, or simply stop thinking about the subject altogether."

The first two options were obviously undesirable, especially in light of Haruhi's powers. The third option was fine, but I didn't see how it was possible to make it happen.

Shamisen flopped down on my bed. "I thank you most sincerely for the scratching. It was just the thing to soothe and pleasure my nerves. I am now in the perfect mood for a nap." He yawned and closed his eyes.

I supposed that was the most I could have hoped to get out of him. It might not even prove totally useless, depending on what came up during the trip.

I did my homework, had dinner, brushed my teeth with my sister, and went to bed. Despite the day's strange developments, I felt sufficiently restful as I laid down and closed my eyes.

"C'mon Kyon, wake up! We're going to be late for class!"

I opened my eyes to see Haruhi glowering down at me, hands on her hips. She had changed into a flowery spring dress, for what reason I could not fathom. Not that I was complaining. The outfit added a soft touch to her striking beauty.

"Sorry," I muttered, stretching in an effort to wake myself up. "I just felt like I needed a bit of a nap."

She was not appeased. "You know we only have one class together this year. I would think you would make a bit more effort to be on time for it!"

What's the difference? It's not like we can talk to each other during class. I pulled myself up to my knees, still bleary enough that it was a struggle to stand. "You know, just once I would like it if you woke me up with a kiss, instead of a lecture."

"Idiot. Why would I ever want to kiss you while you're sleeping? You're a much better kisser when you're awake."

I still hadn't gotten fully to my feet, and she took advantage by throwing her arms around my neck and bringing her lips down onto mine. "Mmm," I grunted against her warm, soft, and very passionate mouth. Despite my awkward position, I did my best to live up to the compliment she paid me. Not that I could ever hold a candle to Haruhi in that field. My head was already swimming, and I was acutely aware of every sensation, down to the light fluttering of her hair against my face.

It was over all too quickly. When we broke apart, there was a slight flush in her cheeks that was very pleasing to look upon.

"Now come on!" She seized my hand and started pulling me along. "College costs a lot of money, so you've got to take full advantage of the education it offers! You only cheat yourself by being late for classes."

I hurried along as best as I could, knowing that I could never really keep up with her and that she would never actually leave me behind. Knowing Haruhi, for all her frantic hurrying and remonstrances we would probably arrive in class at least ten minutes early, but I had been practicing the art of not focusing on little annoyances like that and thinking of all the good things. Haruhi was taking care of me in her own way, and I didn't want to be ungrateful for that.

On top of that, I was attending a good college, with classmates who I generally got along with, and having adventures with supernatural beings of every kind, and I had the most interesting and exciting girl I had met so far as my girlfriend. My life, when you looked it over, had pretty much everything I could have hoped to have. There was simply no sense in continuing my old habits of grumbling and worrying. After all, what was there for me to be dissatisfied with? What was there that could take this happiness away from me?