A/N: Don't mind me, just another chapter dump for the ffnet version. Feel free to leave a review or whatevs - although I doubt anyone reads LMHM on fanfic. But hey, it's here regardless.

Stay safe and well,

D.L.D

Quote of the Chapter:

"I want to read long love letters but I don't think he loves me. I think I'm used up. I think I'm the grit under his nails, the girl who looks good in pictures. I don't think he loves me." - Communion, Jeanann Verlee

Chapter Thirty-Five: (Devote) Mind, Body and Soul

Things still hadn't returned back to normal. Coexisting, living together, was no longer a feasible option anymore. Whenever Elizabeth was home, drifting about the empty-feeling space like a ghost looking for its former resting place, she couldn't help but feel that everything was off. Solitary hours once spent together on the sofa, mundane silence as she turned on the stove, frowning at the frying pan as she willed it to heat up faster: aside from unavoidable moments of confrontation, they barely interacted anymore. Aside from what was necessary, they barely were around each other.

Withdrawn and reclusive, Meliodas was drawing more sharp lines around his already jagged box. They barely spoke anymore. They barely saw each other anymore. After what had happened that night, stupid words that Elizabeth should have never let slip, he had done everything within his power to avoid her.

Loving him was a dream. Loving Meliodas was an impossible dream that could only happen in... well, a dream.

For the pair of them, there was no reality in which Meliodas could love her. That much was obvious from how he was behaving, locked up in his room or timing his departures so that Elizabeth definitely couldn't slyly intercept him.

These days he was out all the time. Late at night, early hours of the morning, Elizabeth would hear the click of the front door or the sound of him unlocking the bolt. No longer did her door silently crack open - an indicator of him checking up on her. No longer did she creep over to his room, half-asleep and half-sane, baggy t-shirt slipping off her shoulder as she slipped into bed with him. No. They didn't do that. Not anymore.

Coexistence was seeming impossible now. Being the girl he loved felt even more so.

Really, on that night when she came back, fresh from Scotland and fueled by blind determination, Elizabeth should have known better than to let her emotions slip into her speech. Even more so, she should have never let herself try to prove it to him; guilt shouldn't have been used to trick him into her arms, giving her what she wanted but clearly not what he did.

Together they were a mess. Elizabeth would always want what she wanted; Meliodas would always want what he did. Complete opposites, their lives were not made to meld together into one. Two days ago that was what he was trying to tell her. Meliodas himself would never be someone that she could always have around; him being around was what made her life so complicated.

Lying to her was his way of keeping her safe. Lying to himself was his way of making sure that she could let go. Meliodas didn't want Elizabeth to feel stuck with him; really, he wanted her to move the fuck on. He didn't need her, he didn't want her - at least he didn't in the ways that Elizabeth needed and wanted him.

Yet every time, without fail, whenever she felt lonely, lacked the warmth and acceptance that came from being loved, Elizabeth found herself in his arms once more. Top over shoulders, bra unhooked, legs wide open: it seemed she never learned her lesson.

"You need to give it time," Diane released a fatigued sigh, taking a sip from her cream-topped coffee. Across from Elizabeth, stunning in her bright orange scarf and matching black jacket, she looked relieved. Maybe it was because Elizabeth had finally decided to open up to her; for nearly two weeks now she had been radio silent. Shared bus rides became Elizabeth's new reading time; suddenly, work occupied her mind whenever she was in the office.

Talking to Diane - truly talking to her - had been something Elizabeth was dreading. She knew that. Diane knew that. Everybody on the planet knew that. Especially when it came to Meliodas.

"When someone lies to you it's difficult to trust them again immediately," Diane continued, no doubt drawing from her own experiences. A month ago - but what felt like a year ago - she herself had gone through a rough patch with King. An entire life was hidden from her: a new name, a new identity, a new man. "But you can work through it. If you want to, that is."

No pressure. Whenever Elizabeth met up with Diane, opened her heart and soul up to her trusted friend, she could always count on the brunette to be impartial. Right and wrong - delivering a judgement - had never been her forte. Instead - loyal and supportive and kind - Diane would always try to open your perspective up, lay out all the cards before your very eyes.

In the past, Elizabeth had used coffee mornings with Diane to discuss her latest dilemma in university. When everything had gone south with Alioni, when she had first confessed herself to Meliodas, Diane had been there to mop up the spill. Taking care, taking her time, Diane had carefully patched Elizabeth up and reminded her that everything wasn't over. Back then, she still had a chance to move on. Even if it didn't seem like it, itching with withdrawal and feeling sick to her stomach, Elizabeth still had a future.

Even now, in the present, Diane was reminding her of that: there was still hope for a better future.

"I want things to be better," Elizabeth admitted, earnest from the very depths of her heart as her fingers wrapped around the warm material of her coffee cup. "I really do, Diane."

"But?" Perceptive as ever, the brunette pressed.

"I don't think Meliodas actually loves me," Biting down on her lip, Elizabeth studied the wooden table top, the grain pattern stained into the surface. "I think I'm the girl who looks good in pictures, the one he doesn't want around but keeps around because I can benefit him in the public eye. I'm a pro that comes with many cons, an old phone that can't keep up. That's why he can lie to me, that's why he keeps pushing me away. I don't think he loves me."

Because how could he love her? Always seeking his attention, always tricking him into her bed, Elizabeth was nothing but a starving, desperate woman. A naive, foolish girl who knew no better because she had never seen better. Letting Meliodas take the piss with her was all that Elizabeth had ever known; giving her heart for nothing in return was all she had ever done.

So how could it not be true? Surely, certainly, Meliodas did not love her. Not now. Rejection, disgust, hung heavy in the air around him.

"Elizabeth," Diane sighed, shaking her head as she reached for her friend's hand over the table. Cold fingertips, touched by early frost, chilled Elizabeth's nerve-endings. "That couldn't be farther from the truth."

"Then what is the truth?" Immediately, Elizabeth countered, blubbering out her own questions - her own petty insecurities. "What else would make sense?"

"I don't know because I know less than you do," Diane admitted, somewhat solemn as she glanced into Elizabeth's teary eyes. Grip growing firmer, she squeezed Elizabeth's hand within her own. "But what I do know is that Meliodas would do anything for you - so much that it's actually scary."

With the obvious skepticism and shock upon her face, no words were needed from Elizabeth to voice her disbelief. Not a single peep. Instead Diane only chuckled as she shook her head, grabbing her cooling cup of coffee as she sat back in her chair.

"When you first introduced us," She grinned, nodding toward Elizabeth as she took a large gulp of caffeine. "Way back in uni days, I thought that he was a bad influence. You were this grade A student, on her way to doing great things and travelling the world as a famous, world-renowned journalist. He was some age-old friend of yours that was known for selling drugs around campus. I was horrified when you confirmed that Meliodas was... well, that Meliodas."

"But," Diane clicked her tongue, setting down her now half-empty coffee cup. An odd twinkle settled in her eyes as she continued, "Even back then I could see it. That man had it bad for you. Arthur, bless his soul, was ready to have a fit when he realised that Meliodas was smitten. We both didn't want you to fall into the trap of falling for the wrong person."

Just like with the brief stint with Alioni - the friendship that was built with only one side of pure intentions. Sweet like honey, Elizabeth was always a pretty prize for the disgusting flies that swarmed around her. Often, she didn't realise it; only once she had been used, sucked up by the greedy mouths of the buzzing pests, would she truly realise what she was worth.

To them, she was simply a sweet commodity.

But what made Diane think Meliodas was different? What now, what from back then, made her so certain that Meliodas only wanted the best for her?

"What stopped you both from confronting him?" Elizabeth dared to ask, breath caught in her throat as her grip tightened around her coffee cup.

"You did," Diane replied simply, humming as she nodded toward Elizabeth. "You made him a better man. Of course, you wouldn't see it - but we did. Meliodas would do anything for you, back then and certainly right now. That was why he left behind DK - after what happened to you. Before anything, he always wanted to put your happiness first."

DK. That was the problem. That one lie, the one thing that Elizabeth just couldn't forget. After what happened to them, after how hard she had fought to defend him, she couldn't believe that Meliodas had lied about DK. Lying about that - telling her false truths about his lifestyle - had been a line that she wasn't willing to let him cross.

No. That was her one policy. The one ask she had of him, the need to have total honesty, was broken when Meliodas admitted to telling that rotten lie.

All those years ago, huddled on the pavement, he had promised her that he was done. After that ghostly whisper - that dreamlike admission - Meliodas had promised that he would never enter his father's world again. Wiping away her tears, sour vomit discarded with an old receipt, Meliodas had made that promise. She didn't need to bring it up; in her distress, he had just made it.

Fitting, it was, that he broke his own fake promise.

Sighing, Elizabeth couldn't even look at Diane as she muttered, "Meliodas didn't leave DK."

"I don't believe that," Diane shook her head. Breathless, almost airless, the words left her throat as she pressed her lips into a thin line. "I don't believe that he would've stayed after what happened."

"Well, he did," Elizabeth responded, quiet, solemn, like a bitter taste leftover from a cold cup of hot chocolate. Acrid. "He told me. That was why I was at Jericho's."

For a moment silence settled between them. Behind their table a group of friends got up, chairs scraping and bags flung over shoulders as they rushed toward the cafe's exit. Tinkling, the door was flung open - cold air rushing into the warm interior of the shop - and a pair lingered by the door frame. One fiddling with their jacket, the other rolling their eyes as they went to their buddy.

"There you go."

"Thank you."

Another tinkling noise. Then silence.

"It has to be more complicated than that, Els," Diane broke the silence first, her coffee now discarded as she folded her hands on top of the table's surface. Settled on her face, a firm frown flattened her lips. "He wouldn't lie to you about that unless it was to protect you."

"But from what?" Elizabeth pressed. That was the one thing that just didn't make sense. What would Meliodas be protecting her from? What could he really protect her from? If it was his father - well, that was too little too late. Already known, already seen, she was no secret. If they wanted to target her, DK very well could.

"I don't need protection," Shaking her head, Elizabeth couldn't help the insistence. The demand. "I don't want to be protected."

"Elizabeth," Diane interjected, her voice taking a firm edge that it hadn't taken in years. Serious, stern, her amethyst eyes were set with solid determination and warning. "Meliodas is forever tied to a dangerous world where people will always try to get back at him. Even if he left that world, even if he did leave because of you, there would always be someone keeping tabs on him. You know do that right?"

Swallowing, Elizabeth nodded, "I do."

"So now you need to think about what you want," Diane clarified, still owning the same solemn tone of voice. Raising a brow, she leaned closer toward her friend, arms folded on top of the tabletop. "Do you want to be with him and deal with what comes with it? Or do you want to leave it all behind and start fresh?"

Honestly, the question had never crossed her mind. Always believing that the past was in the past, Elizabeth had never thought about how history could reach into the future. What happened earlier on was never seen as a factor of the present. When they were foolish kids, chasing the remnants of freedom and hopeful dreams left in the dust of the polluted city air, they had never thought about how their actions would affect their futures.

Really, Elizabeth should have known that this moment would come. Too fortunate, much too lucky, she should have known that the universe wasn't willing to let her have her cake and eat it too this time. Not anymore.

But how could she simply choose? That life, the one that felt to be a million years and lighters ago, didn't feel like hers anymore. But this new one, filled with the void left by Meliodas' absence, didn't feel like a life either.

"What if..." Elizabeth paused. No it was ridiculous. Even so, it was what she wanted. "What if I want both?"

"You can't have both, silly," Chuckling, Diane shook her head once more as she leaned back in her chair. Faint, a sad smile tugged on her lips almost in unwavering solidarity. "Unfortunately real life doesn't work that way. It's full of tough decisions."

Horrible decisions. Sickening decisions. Honestly Elizabeth was tired of making them. At this point, she just wanted time to stop slipping through her desperate fingers.

"Do you think that it can work Diane? Or am I wasting my time?" Elizabeth pressed. Urgent, almost on the verge of cracking, she decided to let the vulnerability slip through. Piercing, obvious, it spiked her voice with broken warbles as she whispered. "I mean, you went through something similar."

"I did and I'd say that it can work," Diane admitted. Hesitation still ruled over her, prominent as she scratched at the top her head. "But if you want it to work, you and Meliodas need to be on the same page. To do that, you have to take a break."

"A break?" Elizabeth echoed.

"Yep," Diane nodded, humming as her fingers drummed against the table top. Suddenly pulling her brows at an angle, she pointed an accusatory finger at her friend, gaze filled with an imminent chiding. "And I don't mean the half-assed stunt you pulled this week. I mean a real pack your shit and leave break. No phone calls, no visits and definitely no sex. Go visit your sister."

"My sister?" Elizabeth blinked. Frowning, she reiterated, "You mean Margaret?"

"Yes," Diane nodded, a triumphant smile spreading across her face. "Being around family will do you some good. In fact, it will help you think about what you truly want."

There it was again: what she wanted. Something Elizabeth had never really thought about outside of Meliodas. Every want, every desire, included him being present or at least near in her life. With him around, there was never time to think about Elizabeth. In the end it only resulted in forgetting about herself, her own dreams to travel and tell unheard stories - be the voice for those without their own voice.

When had she lost vision of what she once wanted? When had everything become about Meliodas? Honestly, Elizabeth didn't know anymore. But what she did know was that Diane was right. Space was needed. Space to learn, space to breathe, space to grow. Then, maybe then, she would be ready to try and solve this problem once more.

"You're right Diane," Elizabeth found herself saying, a small smile on her face. "Maybe I should make good on my promise to see my nephew."

It had been a while since she'd seen tiny Chion.