Zen's POV
A soft shaking rouses me. I slowly peel one eye open, and see that no light is shining in through the windows yet. I hear a soft whimper to my right. Peering through the darkness, I see Jumin's outline. I thought he'd be holding me, like the night before. But he seems poised on the edge of the bed, as far away from me as possible.
I reach over and try to roll him towards me, but his body fights me.
"Jumin." I whisper. "Scooch over. You're gonna fall off."
I tug on him again, and this time he complies. I blink with heavy eyes, trying to make out his expression in the sparse, dim light. But his sleeping face looks so different this time than yesterday. The tension around his eyes and mouth is even greater than when he's awake.
Jumin whimpers again, and I feel an ache in my heart. I sigh weakly, then take a deep breath and slide myself against his body. I wrap my arms around him and give him a firm squeeze. He whimpers again, but his face seems to relax a bit.
"Shh…" I murmur. "It's okay, babe."
I swallow hard at the word that slipped out of my own mouth. He didn't hear it, I remind myself. He's asleep. I squeeze him again, and feel his body relax against me. As his breathing slows to a steady rhythm, I'm quickly lulled back to sleep.
"Meow! Meow!"
My eyes flutter open to a white ball of fluff in my face.
"Elizabeth." I hear Jumin scold. "Don't wake him."
"Meow!" she continues.
"What the hell, Elly?" I groan, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes. She rubs against my bare chest, her soft fur tickling me. I laugh, and scritch under her chin. "Good morning, pretty kitty." I look up and see Jumin. He's standing awkwardly a few feet away, already dressed in his full suit. My brows crease and I blink a few times, making sure I'm seeing correctly. "You're already dressed? What about working out together?"
Jumin's lips tighten. "You were sleeping so soundly. I didn't want to disturb you."
"You wouldn't be disturbing me. I asked you to wake me." I rub the back of my head, a disappointed pout on display.
"Ah. I apologize." His words seem hurried. "Well, I should be going. Have a good day." With a slight bow of his head, Jumin turns and speedwalks towards the door.
"Wait!" I call out. "You can't even stay for coffee?"
He hesitates in the open door. His expression looks detached. "I'm sorry, Zen."
"Wha…" I shrug, mouth hanging open in disbelief. "When will you be home?"
"I'll message you."
The door clicks behind him. I look around, shocked by my jarring wake-up-call.
I had expected to wake up holding him. To have a nice morning together. But instead, I feel ditched.
My gaze turns down towards Elly. She's staring grumpily towards the door, too. I stroke her head and mumble, "What the hell is going on with your owner, El?" With a huge swish of her tail, she jumps down and stalks off. "Yeah.. I don't know either."
I had thought we had a great night. I finally started to relax around Jumin, and let myself have fun with him. Even flirt a little. It was kind of awkward, flirting with a guy, but how could I not? Jumin's words once again floored me. Everything he says to me is flattery crafted into poetry.
Knowing that he's kind, and sentimental, and actually attracted to me… the Jumin of my dream seems so real now. I could honestly see us falling in love, and I'll be damned if I stand in my own way of happiness.
I want what I had in that vision. I want to have someone to call my own. And, I'm still kind of in disbelief about it myself, but I think I want that someone to be Jumin. He's actually… really thoughtful. A little inept sometimes, sure, but honestly, it's kind of endearing. I already knew he was smart and handsome, but apparently he's also a massive romantic. I mean, fuck! I'm used to people calling me good-looking, but… 'I am struck daily by the impossibility of your beauty. You are a piece of art that compels yet forbids my touch.' Hot damn. I drag my palm down my face.
All I know is I've never had someone make me feel this way before. The girlfriends I've had in the past were cute. I enjoyed doting on them and making them smile. They would show me off to their friends, and we'd go on little outings and take a lot of pictures. When we'd have sex, I tried so hard to make it good for them. I just wanted their approval, their love. But it never felt right. I guess sometimes it'd even leave me feeling a little used.
But with Jumin… We're not even dating, and I already feel more cherished, more respected, than I have with any of my girlfriends. 'There is so much I admire about you…' 'With your talent and hard work…' 'You are a piece of art...' My heart hammers in my chest as the tinglings of aching infatuation flutter in my stomach.
I close my eyes and focus on my memory of the dream. There was no being used. There was only pure adoration in his eyes, in the way he touched me. The way he stared me down while he kissed my palm. The slow, tender pace of his body. There was no sound, and yet I know the words 'I love you' crossed his lips. And I know what I felt - pure bliss. I loved him, as well.
I reach down and adjust myself in my boxers. Thinking of that dream is giving me another damn boner. I let my hand stroke up and down my shaft a few times. I haven't allowed myself to really entertain the idea of us together yet. I've been too angry, too scared at the thought of being with him.
Fuck… I grip myself tighter and I feel the pulse of blood fill me making my cock stiff in my hand. My breathing picks up, and I slip down my boxers. God. Is it weird to jack-off in his bed? And then I realize - I'm in his bed. I'm right where he fucked me. The thought sends electric thrills through me. My need catapults to the forefront of my focus.
I continue to stroke myself as I scooch over and lay back into the same spot on the bed from my dream. I let it play on repeat. Jumin, naked between my legs. Jumin, pushing in, his hard cock causing ripples of pleasure as it stretches me. His piercing gray eyes staring into mine as his lips graze my palm. Oh God… And then when he used his hand on my dick while pumping into me. Holy shit it felt so damn good. I rock my body in motion with my artificial memory, my graphic visualizations pushing me over the edge as my hand swirls my precum around my tip. I groan as I feel the pressure build, my balls tightening as they prepare to spend. I stroke faster. The Jumin in my mind fucks me harder as he mouths 'I love you.' And I cum. I gasp as spurt after spurt sprays out, the release filling me with warm satisfaction.
I use my boxers to wipe up my mess, then lay back on Jumin's bed panting. Well, that just happened. I stare at the ceiling, and feel a laugh begin to bubble out of me. It continues until I'm chuckling like a mad-man while laying naked on Jumin's bed.
"Fuck." I throw my arm over my eyes, embarrassment and excitement pulsing through me. "I want this."
But does Jumin?
All of the compliments and flashes of suggestive looks would seem to indicate he wants it, too. And yet, he was so different this morning. He didn't wake me up, and tried to slip out without saying goodbye. Is he okay? Is it work? Or did I do something wrong last night?
He seemed tense when I got into bed with him, and then he was so distressed in the middle of the night. The timing of his personality change just seems too coincidental. Right when I start to relax and flirt a bit he backs off?
I throw back my head and groan. Why can't I be a mind reader?!
But then I jolt up in bed, remembering our conversation at dinner last night.
"I relaxed when I realized I was judging him unfairly. When he said no one would assume I would want him…" My mumbled words trail off as I lean forward, my heart pumping as I feel I have found the answer. "He doesn't know I want him back." To be fair, I didn't want him. I needed time to find out who Jumin really is. To accept the fact that I'm open to being with him. My eyes dart back and forth wildly. "That has to be it, right?"
There is a soft knock at the door before it creaks open.
"Hello! Excuse me, I am coming in," Seoyun's gentle voice calls.
"AHH!" I roll over the side of the bed opposite the door and land on the floor with a thump. The cold air breezes along my bare ass as my face is flattened against the floor.
"Good morning, Zen, dear. I'm sorry. Were you still asleep?" I peek up over the edge of the bed and see the sweet, middle-aged housekeeper lugging the shopping bags to the kitchen.
"Uh… yeah. Sorry, Seoyun. I can't help you unpack the bags just yet." I eye my suitcase, a few feet away behind me, and wonder how I am going to get some clothes on without her seeing.
"Don't you worry about it. This has been my job long before you began staying here." She eyes me over her shoulder with a smirk then turns towards the fridge. "I'll just be facing this way while I reorganize the fridge to make room…"
She fucking knows, I deadpan. "Thank you, Seoyun!" I call as I hurry to get dressed.
Once I have my dirty boxers tucked away in my suitcase, and I'm wearing my favorite baggy shirt and some gym shorts, I join Seoyun with a sheepish grin. "Sorry you had to walk in on that."
"Oh, it's no problem, deary. I'm just happy the young master finally has someone."
I flush and blink. "Well, w-we're not really…"
She keeps her gaze on the bags as we unpack. "I've served Mr. Han's family since he was a small child. He has always kept to himself. Maybe a couple of friends. Like that photographer boy. Or the pretty blonde girl. But he's never had anyone stay the night before, let alone days in a row like this. I'm happy for him. Especially since you're such a kind, handsome lad."
She smiles up at me. I smile back, but I'm sure it looks awkward through my blushing embarrassment.
"Here," she says. She reaches into one of the larger shopping bags and pulls out a smaller, opaque black bag, sliding it along the counter towards me. "I noticed you never used the blankets I laid out on the floor for you, and thought you both may appreciate this."
Confused, I take the bag and peek inside. I see a bottle and small box, and start to pull them out to get a better look. "Ah!" I practically drop the condoms and lube on the floor when I realize what I'm holding. "Seoyun!" I yell.
She continues to smile up at me, a devilish intensity in her wrinkled eyes. "You're welcome, dear."
After Seoyun finishes cleaning, I bid her an awkward goodbye. Despite the fact that I just rubbed one out to Jumin this morning, I'm not feeling anywhere near ready for the condoms and lube phase. What would Jumin think if he finds these? Either he gets grossed out or… I picture him finding them in his nightstand, leveling me with hungry, knowing eyes. He'd lunge at me, pinning me to his bed with aggressive force. His mouth would claim mine as he rubs himself against me. One hand would release me to slide down and unzip his fly…
My thoughts come to an abrupt stop as I notice myself getting hard again. Shit. I shiver.
I look at his nightstand, actually considering leaving them there. But I shake my head and throw up my hands as I stalk over to… Wait. Where else can I put them? I look around Jumin's condo, and every place looks like a bad idea. He could find them accidentally, or it would be super awkward to retrieve them if we did ever want to actually use them. I rub the back of my head with a frustrated grimace and turn back to look at the bed. With a sigh, I stuff them in a corner between the mattress and the box spring. There. Hopefully that's a good spot.
Just then, my R.F.A. notification pings. I pull out my phone and open the app. I have a message from Jaehee.
Jaehee: Zen. You should come to the chatroom. Luciel has some good news for you!
I quickly back out of her message and open the chat. I read back through this morning's messages before I join in.
Jaehee has entered the chatroom
Jaehee: Good morning everyone. I just wanted to tell you all to watch Zen's amazing performance in Zekyll and White- it just came out on DVD!
Jaehee: I actually had a moment last night where I was undisturbed by new work requests and got to watch it.
707 has entered the chatroom
707: Ooooo~ Are we sure Jaehee isn't Zen's stalker?
Jaehee: Luciel, how dare you say such a thing?!
Jaehee: *glasses break emoji*
707: Hehehe I can say it becaaaaaause….
707: BGSOUND="drumroll" LOOP=3
707: I caught the stalker!
707: *arm pump emoji*
Jaehee: Really? That's wonderful!
Jaehee: *Surprise emoji*
Jaehee: Have you already informed Zen? Or Mr. Han?
707: Nah, not yet, just the po-po
707: *smile emoji*
Jaehee: I shall inform them immediately.
Jaehee has left the chatroom
Zen has entered the chatroom
Zen: Seven! That's fantastic!
Zen: Thank you! You're the best!
Zen: *finger snap emoji*
707: *heart eyes emoji*
Zen: Does this mean things can go back to normal?
707: …
707: …
Zen: …?
707: Zen. This is very important.
Zen: ?
707: You can't leave Jumin's place
Zen: *sigh emoji*
Zen: If you're about to make another joke about us, can you just skip it?
707: NO
707: It's not a joke
707: Jumin already threatened my life if I keep teasing you
707: *depressed emoji*
Zen: …he did?
707: NOW LISTEN
707: The space police may have caught an invader, but the data is whispering to me about the mothership
Zen: …
Zen: Seven. Wtf.
707: THE MOTHERSHIP IS REAL AND I NEED MORE TIME TO DESTROY IT
Zen: *sigh emoji*
Zen: Can I at least go outside?
Zen: Or post an update on my fan website?
Zen: I hate that all of my fans have to suffer simply because of this stalker
Zen: the world needs to see how cute I am!
Jumin Han has entered the chatroom
Zen: *sends cute selfie of me laying on Jumin's bed*
Jumin Han has left the chatroom
Jaehee has entered the chatroom
Jaehee: Where did Mr. Han go? He said he had questions to ask you, Luciel.
707: Ah, he's calling me now. Bye!~
707 has left the chatroom
Jaehee: Zen, wonderful picture. I'm happy to see your face and that you are looking well.
Jaehee: But I should probably go now.
Jaehee: I need to finish setting up the hotel for Mr. Han's latest… project.
Zen: Later, Jaehee.
Jaehee has left the chatroom
I exit out of the app and sit on the edge of Jumin's bed, ruminating on what I just learned. My stalker is caught, but Seven doesn't want me to leave yet for some reason. Which I'm fine with. Sure, I'd love to be able to go somewhere other than this condo, but I'd like to settle things with me and Jumin before I go back to my place. Also, Jumin apparently stuck up for me with Seven…? That makes my heart flutter. I wish he had stayed in the chat. I wish he had called me instead of Seven. I want to hear his voice.