A/N: Thank you to the guest who left a review! ^_^ I am soooo happy to hear you are enjoying it!
Jumin's POV
The elevator ride up to my penthouse draws out as my mind works in overtime. What do I say to Zen when I arrive? Do I attempt to express my feelings and risk losing his friendship? Or do I hide my feelings, as I always have, and maintain the status quo? I know I need to choose the latter. I know I need to overcome this desire for companionship that will never be fulfilled. I can never have the ones I love. I can never keep them.
My thoughts feel feral. My throat begs to scream. My heart aches to be as ripped in half as it feels.
But when the elevator bell dings and I step out onto the top floor hallway, I halt in surprise.
"What is that I hear?" I mumble.
As I walk down the hall, the sound gets louder. Exquisitely dynamic vocal music echoes around me. It sounds dull and muffled, but the wide melodic range marked by quick runs up and down through the scales is still obvious.
I pause outside my door, mouth parted in awe. I glance over to the head security officer. "Is that…?"
"Zen, yes, sir. He has been signing like this every day around this time."
"Singing?" I scoff. "This is more than singing, this is… pure artistry."
My fingertips twitch as I gently, oh so gently, push down on the handle and slide the door open.
As soon as the door cracks, I am struck by the sheer power and intensity of Zen's ballad. And as the door swings wide, I see him. I see him. He is facing the windows, using them as mirrors, as he glides back and forth, dancing in a hunched position. Suddenly, I recognize the song. It is the climax from the final act of Monster of the Opera, but a more modernized version, with a more frightful melody. As Zen reaches the climax of the song, he vocalizes out a booming vibrato, stretching it out as he slowly stands, bringing himself and the note to full height in an emotional completion.
Quiet falls in an overwhelming wave of contrast to the force of his song. And it brings me to my knees.
Panting, Zen turns, his red eyes widening in surprise as they make contact with mine. "Jumin?!"
He rushes up and kneels next to me. My eyes rake over his blotchy, sweaty face, concern laced through his features, and I can't help but smile. Even like this, he looks stunning. "You are truly an angel."
Blinking, he flushes bright pink, and pulls his lips back into a grimace. Please don't get mad at me again. But his expression changes quickly. He glances sideways and chuckles. When his crimson eyes flash back to mine, he grinds his teeth over his bottom lip as his mouth pulls into a crooked smile.
"Me? An angel? You think so?" He stands and holds his hand out to help me up. I take it, eager to touch him, and he pulls me up forcefully, drawing my chest close to his. "You know, Jumin," he narrows his eyes and lowers the tenor of his voice, "I can be a bit of a beast sometimes, too."
I intake a sharp breath, my mouth going dry. His suggestive words… his demeanor… Is Zen… flirting with me? Or is it wishful thinking? It has to be.
With a wink and a smirk, he steps back and walks over to the counter, where he grabs his water bottle and chugs. He lets out a refreshed gasp and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "So," he says. He leans back against the counter, his arms bracing him on either side, and tilts his head to the side with a smile. "You're home early today. Welcome home, Jumin."
Breathe, a part of my mind reminds me. My chest shakes as I force air to pull in, hold, push out, hold.
"Jumin?" Zen chuckles, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "You okay?"
I nod, giving my head a little shake to regain my composure. "Yes, I'm okay. Thank you for your concern."
"Why were you on the ground? Don't tell me. You were brought to your knees by my beautiful voice!" He exclaims the words with his hand to his chest in a dramatic fashion.
He's made similar narcissistic comments over the years. At first they bothered me, but as I learned how talented he was, I came to accept them as earned arrogance. But seeing him make such a comment in person… it feels off. While he seems to exude confidence, something about the way he said it seems… insecure. Well, I cannot allow that.
"Yes," I confirm resolutely. "One hundred percent, yes." I put my hands in my pockets and gaze at him with unwavering purpose. "Your rendition was truly awe inspiring. Unique. Innovative. Expertly performed. There's no way it - you - wouldn't bring me to my knees."
He stiffens. I watch as a blush crawls up his neck and covers his entire face. "Y-you really liked it? I've been trying something new, but I didn't know if I should use it for my audition."
"Use it," I say quickly. "And when you get the role, I will be at every show, as promised."
His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, drawing my attention to his neck. As thoughts of tracing my tongue along the path of his carotid swim in my mind, I remember what V said to me just an hour ago.
Focus on what Zen wants. Focus on being friends.
…Damn.
Zen's POV
I need to tell him. I should just tell him. But what if I'm wrong?
My mental battle rages as I sit across the table from Jumin. When he mentioned he had skipped breakfast, I immediately made him lunch. But Jumin finished eating quickly, while I am still picking at my food.
I feel like now is the perfect time to tell him, but I can't get the words out. Ahh… I've never been so nervous about liking someone before.
It doesn't help that everytime I think I've worked up the muster to say something, I make eye contact with him and see that look in his eyes. Fierce. Penetrating. Admiring. It makes me feel more confident in my suspicions of his feelings, but absolutely silences me with self-consciousness.
"J-Jumin," I finally snap out, looking to the other side of the room. "Can you stop staring at me like that?"
Surprise flits across his face, then his expression quickly shifts. He looks down and away, a slight sneer pulling at his upper lip.
"I apologize. I'll let you finish eating in peace." He pushes out his chair and stands, grabbing his plate and moving to set it by the sink.
"N-no, shit, I didn't mean to make you go."
But he ignores me, and walks back towards Elly's room.
"Crap, this isn't how I wanted this to go," I sigh hopelessly.
I abandon my plate and follow after him. When I walk in, I see him sitting on the bed stroking Elly while she rolls around on one of the plush white pillows.
"Jumin, you didn't have to leave," I say softly.
Elly perks up at my voice, and walks towards the edge of the bed with expectant eyes. I join them on the bed, scritching under her chin until she begins to purr.
"I didn't?" he asks skeptically, his eyes on Elizabeth rather than me. "I just worry that I continue to make you uncomfortable. As much as I value our friendship, I know I often make you angry."
"Well, I'm not angry right now." Now's the time. Let him know you're interested. I stop petting Elly and scootch closer to Jumin. I force myself not to drop my gaze away from his questioning gray eyes. "After these couple days with you… I think I understand you a lot better." God my heart is pounding. "And I want to get to know you even more."
I search his face, but I can tell my meaning is not sinking in. Crap. I need to be more forward.
"So, from now on," I begin, reaching up to brush back a strand of his hair and letting my fingers skim along his ear. He immediately tenses up, his eyes wide in shock. I can't believe I just did that. Shit. Finish what you were saying dammit! "Please don't hold back."
Like lightning, his hand darts up to grip my wrist before it returns to my lap.
I freeze, his fierce stare paralyzing me.
"Zen." His voice is rough. Low. "What are you doing?"
"W-what do you mean 'what am I doing'? What are you doing?" I look at my wrist, which his grip has only tightened on.
"No. Be clear. What are you doing?" Jumin's voice rumbles out like an avalanche. He lifts my wrist, which forces me closer to him. His gray eyes dart back and forth all over my face. "Are you proposing we be more than friends?"
I swallow hard, feeling a pit in my stomach. God, what is with this response? I thought he'd blush, and maybe we could talk about how we feel, but this… His intensity is scaring me. Mostly because… I have no idea what it means. His expression is so extreme, I can't make heads or tails of it. I've never seen him like this before. Is he excited? Is he mad at me for suggesting it? Did I read him wrong because of that stupid fucking dream?
A loud knock pounds from the living room, pulling both of our attentions away. I use the moment to rip my wrist from his grasp, rubbing where his fingers had locked around me.
"Ignore it," Jumin orders, his focus returning to me.
"But what if it's important…" I mumble.
The knock comes again, more aggressively this time.
Jumin lets out an angry tsk between his teeth. "I will get rid of them. Just a moment."
I follow Jumin into his living area, curious what's going on. Who would pound on the door of Jumin Han like that? Maybe it's Seven…?
As Jumin is about to open the door, a voice from the other side yells in a deep tenor. "Jumin! I know you're in there."
"Father?"
He pulls the door wide, and indeed it's Jumin's father - Chairman Han.
"Hmph. There you are," the Chairman says, walking in as soon as Jumin steps to the side. "Care to tell me what-" The Chairman quiets when his eyes land on me. "Who's this? You're not dressed well enough to be the help."
Should I reply politely? Or should I let this cocky, rich asshole know I won't put up with his shit? Even as I think the words, I know my decision is obvious. Fuck him.
But before I speak, Jumin steps between me and the Chairman. "Father, this is Zen. He is a good friend and a fellow member of the R.F.A."
"Ah." He shifts on his feet, taking me in again. "You're the performer, then. Yes, I suppose you do look like… an artist." A slight sneer pulls at his lip, but otherwise his face and tone remain completely deadpan, and it makes my blood boil. "Well, Zen," he draws out my name, "I need to speak with my son. Alone. Perhaps you two can discuss R.F.A. business another time."
My fists clench at my sides. Don't punch him. Don't punch him. Your reputation would never recover…
Thankfully, Jumin speaks up again, his tone his usual collected, unruffled cadence. "Zen is staying with me for the moment, so he will wait here. Father, why don't we step back this way and speak. It should be brief, yes?" He gestures to the back hallway.
Chairman Han's eyebrows drive downward, but he follows Jumin's guidance and steps to the back recess of the condo.
"Shit," I curse under my breath. I move to Jumin's bed and sit on the edge. I glance down the hallway, then away, trying not to snoop. It's probably just stupid C & R stuff. Maybe they lost one million of their three billion profits, I think with an eye roll.
No, I'm much more concerned about what happened with Jumin just before he knocked. 'Are you proposing we be more than friends?' I rub my wrist, which is still sore from Jumin's tight grip just minutes ago. God. What was with him? I thought he'd look happy, but he… he really didn't.
"Why am I hearing about this from the staff?" the deep growl of the Chairman echoes down the hall, grabbing my attention.
"Father," Jumin shushes him.
I scoff and turn away, but despite trying to ignore them, I can't help but overhear Jumin's father's barely hushed yelling.
"No, answer me! How many times have I offered to find you someone well suited? And yet here you are, coming in late for work, leaving early, and using company resources to stage interviews?"
What is the Chairman talking about…? This doesn't sound like profit losses…
His father's angry voice peaks, clearly all discretion forgotten. "You're being irresponsible. This is not how you find a wife!"
A… wife?! Jumin is… looking for a wife?! My ears are officially keyed into this conversation.
"And you know better?" I hear Jumin's icy voice reply. I move to the stupid uncomfortable couch, because at least it's closer. "How many times have you been married? Remind me, father."
"Insolent little…" the Chairman grits out.
"Father, I want a life companion. I'm just trying to go about it my way."
"If you want an arranged marriage, fine, but you should have come to me. She should be beautiful, and from a good family. She needs to be accustomed to our society and the types of events we attend. She needs to dress in better clothes than those rags your friend was wearing."
…Is that… is that what Jumin wants? Did I read everything wrong? Was my dream… really just a dream?
"Fine. Set something up," Jumin says. His voice is level, unlike my heart.
I sit, staring ahead, feeling broken and confused. When a tear rolls down my cheek, I blink, suddenly realizing my situation.
I was flirting with Jumin Han. Who is NOT into me. And he and his father are a few feet away. If they come in here, they will see me crying.
Oh God… Humiliation washes over me, making my heart sink and pulling the breath from my lungs.
I have to get out of here. I have to leave. I look back at my suitcase.
"Now, is that quite all, father? I'd like to return to my day."
Shit. I'll leave it. I go to the door, but my hand hovers over the handle. I've been here for days. For my own safety I came here as a last resort, but now I almost don't want to leave. I was just starting to have fun and relax with Jumin. I really wanted something more. But more importantly, is it safe? Seven said to stay here a while longer. But the stalker is caught, so it should be okay, right?
When I hear their footfalls coming down the hall, all thoughts vacate my mind and I swing the door open, rushing out.
"Zen?" a security guard calls after me. "Sir! You are not supposed to be leaving yet."
I turn so that I can talk to him as I walk backwards towards the elevator. "The stalker was caught. I'll be fine," I force a smile. "I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself."
I hit the button, and the elevator immediately opens. Yes, I think as I get in, I can take care of myself. Just like I always have…