Hollystrike wakes up from a good dream – leaving the taste of daisies and starlight on the tongue.
She feels fogged, laying down a mossy stone slab, and in the low darkness, she makes out Lionblaze in a tunnel of light. She breathes, feeling the air work its way up her throat, reminding herself that she is alive. Something is stuck in her throat, and she rasps – huffing and chuffing to dislodge the object. Lionblaze startles.
"Hollystrike! Your okay! You've been sleeping for so long!" the golden tom turns, sunlight reflecting from his pelt into a hundred beams. It blinds her to his smile, and she has to shut her eyes to ward off the glare. Pain rips through her bones like lightning, and she musters a groan in response.
Her body shakes, and her chest heaves and seizes. She tries to breathe but can't until Jayflight presses his paw to her neck. He pushes on something soft, pushing herbs out of his way, and then Hollystrike gasps with a deep breath. He keeps his paw on her throat, and Hollystrike thanks him by sucking down lungfuls of air.
"Jay?" she rasps, and even saying that is hard. Her voice rasps, low and slow, and her voice muscles strain with every syllable.
"Rest while you can. Lionblaze is keeping guard," Jayflight meows. "You are my patient for the foreseeable sunrises." The gray tom carries a bundle of herbs on his back, and Hollystrike lets her eyes dart around what she now identifies as ThunderClan's medicine den. She takes a sniff with her nose – even that hurts to do – but the pungent smell of a hundred herbs and plants hits her nose. Her whiskers curl.
Lionblaze digs his whiskers into her breast, touches that Hollystrike flinches at, and then jumps off her when he sees her begin to seize. Hollystrike's legs twitch, but there's no strength. "Hollystrike, I'm so glad you're alive," he mews.
Hollystrike breathes. Jayflight rolls his paw over her neck.
"Speak softly if you must speak at all. Your throat was badly damaged again, and I've got various delicate herbs in your throat right now," Jayflight meows. He prods her throat again, pinpricking it, and it causes Hollystrike to cough.
"What… happened?" she mews, her voice still unnaturally deep and sharp. Her head pounds, and of course, Jayflight has her filled up with herbs.
"Permanent damage to your voice, most certainly." Jayflight sighs. "I've been keeping you alive with my power. It's not a StarClan miracle that you've survived two killing blows now." He pauses for dramatic effect. He purrs, "I will say that it is a miracle that your head is still attached to your body."
Hollystrike doesn't have a comment for that. There's nothing that she can say, and she lets Jayflight talk. "As for the Dark Forest, you did it." Anger bubbles in his throat. "You did it. They won't return anytime soon."
"Told you," she rasps. "Told you that I'd win it for us."
The words don't seem true even to her.
Jayflight growls, but Lionblaze cheers. "Thank you, Holly!" His eyes dart back to the medicine dens' entrance when Spiderleg comes too close, and Lionblaze's joy turns into a growl. There's too much blinding light for Hollystrike to make out the details, but Lionblaze wanders back to the entrance for some sort of short confrontation.
"He's been keeping watch for three sunrises and moonhighs now," Jayflight meows beside her. When Hollystrike's eyes widen, he mews, "You've been asleep for a while now. Our relationship with ThunderClan is tenuous."
Three sunrises and three moonhighs.
Something in her drugged mind clicks, and Hollystrike realizes she's again avoided death. She's not sure what to think about that.
With it all over, what's left? I have to…
The prophecy is over. She's done it. Tigerstar and Mapleshade are dead. Every shade was slaughtered down into goop. Every traitor was killed. She was crucial to the victory – she saved every cat on the moor with her power. Every moment in her life was for that moment, the killing blow in the back of the neck and an honorable death.
She's not dead.
"There's a lot of cats who want to talk to you. You should also take a tour of ThunderClan once you've recovered fully. A lot of things have changed," Jayflight meows, brushing his tail over her own. She's too weak to reciprocate and can only whine. "But for now, you should rest. You're tired," he meows.
"If I sleep, I'll be killed in my sleep," Hollystrike rasps from her stone bed and then glances back to Jayflight. "Not even you can stop that."
Jayflight raises his eyebrow in that so-familiar condescending matter, but Lionblaze interrupts from the doorway, "Oh, don't worry about that. I've recently discovered that I don't tire and don't need to sleep; you can rest easy while I keep every cat out."
What?
She twists her limp body, ignoring Jayflight's stay still prodding, turning back to Lionblaze, trying to break his cool, and when that fails, turns back to Jayflight, flicking her remaining ear in a "Is he pulling our whiskers?" gesture.
Jayflight shrugs carelessly.
Hollystrike's drugged mind has nowhere else to go.
Jayflight starts to laugh, sudden deep and loud belly laughter, before Hollystrike mutters limply, "StarClan, Heathertail is going to be a lucky molly."
"Huh?"
Lionblaze's confusion and Jayflight's laughter make it worse. Before she can stop herself, she starts chuckling herself, which aggravates her busted-up throat, making her laugh harder, tearing at Jayflight's carefully laid stitches, and then, in a moment, the two of them are laughing in front of a bemused Lionblaze.
Hollystrike snorts particularly hard and sneezes out goldenrod.
Sleep takes her.
Minnowpaw takes her to the river - Hollystrike feels like she's surrounded by an old friend.
"Come on, don't be a drypaw. You thundercats need to learn how to swim. I promise it's not freezing," Minnowpaw meows. "I know it's scary, but every RiverClan cat learns to do this as a kit."
Crystal-clear water scatters around Hollystrike's claws, and she looks at her friend.
Minnowpaw has her head smashed in.
Hollystrike jumps, water splashing. "Minnowpaw!" she yowls. "You're injured—"
It's Whitewing, heavily pregnant. Whitewing smiles, but before she can say anything, she gasps and collapses, a screech on her tongue. Hollystrike bolts to her aid.
"Whitewing. What's wrong?" There's no visible blood, just RiverClan soil and river water.
Whitewing gasps and then strains, muscles flexing, "Hollystrike," she meows, "I've gone… I've gone into labor." Thin water splatters around her hindquarters, and Hollystrike picks up a faint odor. "I need a thick stick to bite down on, and…" She stops to wince and shriek from the pain.
"I'll get you a stick," Hollystrike meows, visibly nodding for Whitewing's clarity. "Give me a heartbeat." Hollystrike is on RiverClan territory with Whitewing, who's giving birth. She can find a stick. She can do this. Hollystrike looks up around the riverbank and…
Whitewing explodes with blood.
Blood splatters across Hollystrike's claws and breast with viscous force; it immediately stains the ground and river red. There's cracking bone, an echoing boom, and then Whitewing's deafening scream. Two kits cry. The smell that comes next is like crowfood rotting in the sun for too long - fresh and ripe. She looks down.
Hollystrike feels the nauseating itch vibrate up her limbs.
I want out. I want out.
"Hollystrike! HOLLYSTRI—" Whitewing screams, writhing on the riverbank while still trying to push her unborn kits out.
I want out.
Hollystrike's ear pops, and she tucks it down, thanking StarClan that she's partially deaf. She looks down helplessly, paralyzed. Energy ripples up her frame, compelling her to do something, anything. She springs into action—
I want out. I want out. I want out. I want out.
Jayflight appears next to her, stars in his pelt, and then both begin to glimmer with starlight. She looks down at herself, covered in stars and queen blood. This is it. This is all there is.
Jayflight twists the world. There's a snap.
The next time Hollystrike wakes up, she discovers the blinding light surrounding Lionblaze is sunlight reflecting from fresh snow. The light wraps around the entrance's guardian, making the golden tom glow, and once again, Hollystrike has to shut her eyes so as not to go blind.
She groans, unable to feel her body besides a general sense of weakness and fatigue. She feels stuck to the stone slab. She imagines falling asleep, melting into the rock and never waking up. The thought goes beyond imagination and feels real and true. Her claws twitch.
"You sound funny," Lionblaze meows, glancing backward lightly before resuming his watch. The golden tom has snow on his head, lightly brushed with white specks – it's like he hasn't moved the entire time she's been asleep.
"We have a kit in the medicine den," Hollystrike teases, her voice still unnaturally low and raspy. "I'm glad my voice amuses you." Even though she can't move her body, her head feels much clearer after her rest.
Lionblaze lightly snorts and shuffles.
"Jayflight's out doing Jayflight things," Lionblaze speaks. "He'll be back in a couple heartbeats. Until then, it's just us." He flicks his tail, signaling that it's her turn to say something.
"Guarding the entrance from any cats?" She has to know as she can barely make out the Stone Hollow from her position.
"A couple," Lionblaze deflects, though Hollystrike already knows what cats he's been guarding her from. "How are you feeling?"
"Sore and weak, I don't like it," she mutters, testing her voice and wincing. It's… different. "Who… who died?" she meows, getting the dreaded question over.
Lionblaze pats the floor awkwardly. "In ThunderClan?" he pauses. "ThunderClan got lucky, I guess. They only lost Greystripe. Otherwise, the battle was pretty bloodless for them. The other Clans lost more."
She was there for that. She wasn't fast enough.
The wording behind Lionblaze's comment catches her, and for some reason, Hollystrike knows what he means – what he's trying to say. She saw him defend WindClan with more life than he's ever given for ThunderClan. Lionblaze has made up his mind.
"You're not staying, are you?" she mews. She feels… she's not sure what she feels.
"Are you?" he questions. His ears are raised, listening intently, and he gives her a chance to change destiny.
Hollystrike thinks about everything that's happened. All the choices that have led to this moment. "No, I guess not," she rasps. She's not staying either. Firestar and… whoever the deputy is now will have made their decision by now, and Hollystrike knows the only option.
Jayflight sticks his head through the brambles, tenseness filling his frame, and pulls himself through the den's entrance. She makes eye contact with him and Jayflight sighs.
"How's the prey?" she meows – and tries to not think about Jayflight anymore.
"ThunderClan is pushing north in search of prey as we're still low on food with the rising lake water, wildfires, and war. RiverClan has taken up residence by the lakefront while ShadowClan pretends to ignore their presence." Jayflight stops to check on her. He nudges her legs, feeling them unstick from the stone, and then cleans her with moss and tongue – licking out blood that's settled over the moonrise. Hollystrike lets him work.
"I want you to try and move your legs and body – without moving your head." Hollystrike twitches, straining muscles that haven't worked in a quarter-moon, and groans low when it sends a ripple of pain across her body. Jayflight frowns. "Well, nearly dying twice while pushing your body beyond its limits is bad. Who knew?" He mocks her.
"Eight branches to two," she meows, glaring at him from the corner of her right eye. He knows.
Lionblaze interrupts. "Come on, you mouses! No arguing while Hollystrike is badly injured." He fluffs up his pelt like an actual lion in the den.
Jayflight opens his mouth wide, then shuts it; a softer meow says, "Well, the Clans have a temporary peace. The Dark Forest shook them, but I suspect ShadowClan and RiverClan will be coming to blows soon."
It's something, at least. Everyone's working together for now.
"Willow and Sol mentioned the beaver dam." Hollystrike plans with her mind even though her body is down. We could ".….reverse the damage to the lake and to RiverClan's territories…." by returning the beavers. The thought sounds good. A plan is needed.
"You will be doing nothing of the sort," Jayflight hisses. "You've nearly killed yourself twice now – the second time bad enough to force me to use my powers to keep you alive – and I need this big lug," pointing at Lionblaze, "to guard you sun and moon to prevent you from being murdered a third time in my own den. Your sunrise's away from a full recovery."
"But the dam—"
"I already knew about the mousebrained dam." Jayflight snorts. "And yes," he meows, cutting off her following comment, "If you weren't aware, I've been swamped with work for the last moon due to some cat snorting too much catmint."
Hollystrike flinches, feels her throat sting, and then pushes the guilt down.
For a while, Hollystrike just watches the snowfall, asking Lionblaze to scoot to the side so she can have a better view. He leans against the bramble-coated wall, not seeming to mind the chill. The fresh snow chases cats into their dens to share tongues, relieving the pressure of guarding the entrance so sternly. While the sun is out, it hits white snow, reflecting cold rays into the den, and again, her brother is wrapped in sunlight. Jayflight comes and goes, doing his work, and soon the quietness becomes mind-numbing.
"Would you like to see some visitors soon?" Jayflight meows at one point. "I can filter them down to cats that don't want to kill you."
"Those cats exist?" she rasps.
"Yes," her brother mews. "They do."
"Yes…" she coughs, Squirrelflight. "That would be lovely."
"Yay!" Lionblaze cheers.
Hollystrike slips into tainted memories this time, which she reflects is infinitely worse.
"They're coming from the tunnels!"
"Seal them off! Quickly!"
Hollystrike pulls herself from her mud nest to see a shade pull itself up from one of WindClan's tunnels. Another follows, and Hollystrike lets her power loose. It's almost angry at her, overflowing and spilling out into the world, disappearing in the wind, and when she lets go of it, it's eager to bind the shade to her will.
Hollystrike seizes the shades twisting body, the facsimile of a mind falling under her control. It splatters black ichor across the grass, literally dripping, and then she has it slam its weight down again on the tunnel. The tunnel sinks, soft earth gives away, and the shades screech in a terrible ear-piercing noise when they're swallowed by the earth. Hollystrike shakes off mud, noticing the heavily clouded sky, and watches the collapsed tunnel.
"What are they?"
"The Place of No Stars!"
Yowling comes from all directions, rabid panic as some engage their otherworldly foes while other cats try to stem the tide. From across the clearing, Hollystrike realizes with terrifying certainty that the Dark Forest invasion has begun, and all of the Clans have been caught with prey in their mouths.
Boom.
Lionblaze, her guard for the moonrise, smashes a tunnel system with supernatural strength and with trepidation, other cats begin to follow in his footsteps. Not all of them, though, a RiverClan warrior and a ShadowClan warrior argue and then battle in the din, Leopardstar, a helpless onlooker as she loses control of her clan. Another two ShadowClan cats stand in a stupor – the fight leaves them.
Boom.
Shades spill from the earth, crawling between the cracks in the world, and for every – boom – another three shades make it to the surface from what seems like a hundred tunnels. The Clans in the field of battle are spread out and are likewise unprepared to face another adversary so soon after the climactic battle last sundown.
She holds onto her own shade and tunnel until the earth wiggles. The earth between her toes shifts, and Hollystrike realizes with horror that the shades are digging through dirt and rock to reach the surface. Her weight isn't enough, and she twists her body around to view the battlefield – it's the same for all the other collapsed tunnels.
"They're digging through!" she yowls, hoping they can hear her even from her isolated position. "Prepare for battle!" The earth explodes from out under her, and from it spills primordial darkness. Five shades. Ten shades. Twenty. Fourty. An endless pour of wrath.
Her claws flash, spilling ichor, and her power begins to snag them. She'll build her own army – turn the tide her own way. Lionblaze and Jayflight won't be enough for this.
From across the clearing, Dawnflower and Rippletail go down in a spray of blood.
It's the end of the world.
On the next sunrise, Hollystrike wakes up with a clearer head. Her dream rushes back to her – all flashing violence and blood – and she finds the strength to roll onto her belly. Ice-cold stone brushes her stomach, and crisp snow clips her nose, blown in from the wind.
Lionblaze is still there guarding the entrance.
"That's not going to work forever," she coughs. She needs to keep her words short for her throat. "I'll need to leave this den—" her throat stings, and she swabs it with her tongue and spits, "eventually."
Lionblaze jumps, pelt spiking, twisting his head while wagging his tail. "Hollystrike! Don't do that, you scared me!" He leaps over to her and then licks her head.
Hollystrike, of course, pulls back, ear pulling back with her and hisses. "Stop that," she gasps, but Lionblaze doesn't listen to her. He continues grooming her face, and Hollystrike eventually curls her whiskers and chortles out a growling hiss. "Hrissk!"
Lionblaze pulls back, blinking, and then meows, "You sound like a dying animal." Amber eyes stare at her curiously. "I can't believe you'll sound like that for the rest of your life."
"It doesn't matter, Lionblaze," she rasps because what her voice sounds like is irrelevant. Now that her head feels better, she knows the situation is bad. They can't sustain this stalemate with ThunderClan – they live on the grace that Lionblaze can't be banished because he's leaving anyway, and no cat can get past him because he can't be beaten or harmed, but Jayflight needs his medicine den back. Things need to return to normal. "We need to focus on getting things back to normal. WindClan right with Heathertail?" she prods. "I can get you there within a couple of sunrises and get Onestar to accept you. My power has returned to normal after the Dark Forest battle, but it's still more than enough for me to work with."
"Hollystrike…" Lionblaze frowns.
"Let me help," she meows, feeling her power resting in the back of her mind. "I can fix this."
I can fix this.
"Hollystrike, I've already got Onestar's permission, and as soon as I'm done here, I'll head to WindClan and get my new warrior name," Lionblaze says casually. His whiskers brush hers, and he smiles. "But thank you for offering anyhow. I don't want you to use your power for me."
It takes the breath out of her.
I can fix this.
"A new warrior name?" she mutters in shock.
"Yeah, Onestar mentioned that it would be good for me to take on a new name to fit in." Lionblaze tilts his head, almost vibrating on his haunches. "Any suggestions?"
Sunlight reflects from the Stone Hollow floor and then spills across the bramble covering. It hits Lionblaze in the back for the third time and turns the snow on his pelt into mush.
"Sunlight?" she mews. Lionblaze perks up, and she forces her sore throat to rasp, "Wait, no, Onestar will get to decide. Why are you asking me? Does it work differently in WindClan?" Now she's confused.
"Nope!" Lionblaze chirps, still far close to her face for comfort. "But it can't hurt to ask!"
Hollystrike tries to push him away, but she's too weak or Lionblaze too strong.
Lionblaze will be okay.
Her stomach grumbles, her throat feels parched, and she needs to make dirt. She looks down to see the beginning of a ribcage, and the thought comes to her that she probably hasn't eaten in a quarter-moon.
"Food and water," she rasps. "What has Jaypaw been feeding me?"
Lionblaze bounds away, back to the entrance and sticks his head out to see. He cautiously waves to a Clanmate and then turns back to her. "You've been sustained on the power of nature and willpower! Also, watered moss and a mulched rat. Jayflight's done some weird stuff with your food and water – very gross, but you've been unconscious for a quarter-moon. He's also had to clean up… your messes."
Hollystrike tries to sigh, but it comes out as a groan.
Lionblaze flicks his ears, and Hollystrike flicks her ear back. Lionblaze twists his tail and fluffs his pelt. Hollystrike snorts. Her stomach grumbles loud enough for both of them to hear, and Hollystrike pushes herself up to her paws. Sore muscles stretch for the first in sunrises, but Hollystrike stands.
She wobbles, but Lionblaze is there to rest a shoulder on. "Wow, chipmunks! We're standing," he mumbles. "Be careful!" Hollystrike isn't listening.
She tests her claws first, not daring to twist her neck, and just feels them slide in and out of her digits. Then, she takes a step with Lionblaze's strength. She breaks out of Lionblaze's shadow with a second step and feels his teeth brush her back. The third step she takes on her own.
Everything is going to be okay.
She's a heartbeat from escaping the medicine den when Lionblaze catches up to her. He takes her left side, where she's missing an ear, of course, and she has to strain herself to hear him meow: "Lionblaze will assist you in this—"
"No jokes," she mews while feeling her throat itch. "No need to do that."
Lionblaze droops his tail.
"Right," he whispers. "I'll keep any cats away from you while we grab something from the fresh kill pile. We'll do it quickly. Neither of us… are very welcome right now."
Hollystrike hums.
She steps onto and into blinding cold stone and snow, feeling cold in more ways than one, and then blinks to readjust to the cold sunrise. Thin snow mush coats ThunderClan's camp – chasing tongue sharers into their dens – dens that feel empty to her eyes. There are few cats; even now, Hollystrike can taste the cloud of death and grief.
Hungry eyes slide over her form for those few cats that are about.
Traitor. Monster.
They slide to the small fresh-kill pile, and the whispers grow louder.
"What's she doing out?" Ferncloud whispers from the nursery. The pale grey she-cat looks fat and well-fed, and it surprises Hollystrike. Ferncloud doing well for herself in the depths of Leaf-Bare doesn't make the comment sting any less.
"Jayflight must finally be letting her out," another voice whispers. "It must be getting close to that time."
Lionblaze nudges her, and on shaky legs, Hollystrike leans to pick out a vole, a squirrel, or anything good. The next voice she hears is not a whisper. "We're not letting crowfood like you take the prey of more deserving cats!" Spiderleg makes his presence known, making his way out of the Warriors' den with self-righteous determination. "I nearly killed you once! The second time, you won't be so lucky!"
Hollystrike buries her claws into the snow. Lionblaze growls, "Stand down, Spiderleg. You've seen what I can do, and I'm not afraid to defend Hollystrike."
From a fox-length away, Spiderleg spits vile. "Do it then," he snarls. When Lionblaze doesn't strike out, he chortles, "You won't because you know I'm right. Your sister is fox-dung, and everyone knows you're a clan-swapper. She'll be dead soon, one way or another. Even Firestar won't stand for having her here for much longer."
"I can help," she meows, glancing out and wrinkling her nose at the most-complicated tom in ThunderClan.
Spiderleg wrinkles his nose, and Hollystrike takes a simple pleasure in that he doesn't scoot any closer. "You sound like crow-droppings," Hollystrike swaps her throat and growls to herself. Spiderleg continues, "ThunderClan is doing just fine without you!"
Lionblaze pushes a small vole to her front paws, glancing around during the stand-off to make sure there are no other surprises, and then meows, "Leave it alone, Spiderleg. Hollystrike is safe under Firestar's and Sorreltail's orders until her full recovery." He glares at the tom and then stands up to his full height.
"Sorreltail?" Hollystrike mouths, but there's no response.
Spiderleg snarls, saying, "Do you know what she's done? What's she done to me? Or are you just that mouse-brained?" Lionblaze growls in response, and Spiderleg spits back, taking another step. Hollystrike, not hoping for a repeat of their last encounter, lets her power lash out. Her threads sink in, and she holds Spiderleg in the middle of the clearing. She can smell his breath from a rabbit-length away and see his eyes widen.
"You!" he meows, voice turning from a rolling snarl to a distressed cry. "You did your thing again!" His eyes glance at her in panic.
Lionblaze urgently pushes the vole into her paws, and he whispers, "We should really get going." His eyes glance sideways to another cat that's popped their head out of the warrior den, and Hollystrike follows his gaze. If they don't move soon, they'll have more unpleasant company.
Hollystrike palms the vole, and then Spiderleg explodes. "No, no, no," he mews, "you don't get to do this! Get out. Get out! Get out of my head! YOU PIECE OF—" Hollystrike yanks him down to earth, and the tom slams his head into the ground. His claws unsheathe and sheath themselves in a rabid panic, and she can see his breath pick up.
She grabs the vole, hearing Spiderleg curse and other angry, hostile cats pull themselves out of their dens, and then she rips the connection out of Spiderleg just as Lionblaze drags her back to the medicine den. She hears Spiderleg yowl, "Kill her!" but thank StarClan, no one else seems to listen to him as Firestar yowls from the HighLedge. The red tom seems angry, and then the whole camp is disturbed.
She roughly pulls herself into the medicine den, feeling her legs almost give out on her, just as Lionblaze beats down Spiderleg at the entrance. There is a flurry of battle, and then Spiderleg is sent scuttling. Blood dots the brambles.
She lays down on her stone tablet, letting Lionblaze growl and hiss and handle the front while she lets the adrenaline wash through her system. Cold vole graces her tongue after a short prayer to StarClan, and then she's swallowing icy-mushy blood. She eats meat and nearly vomits. It tastes like cat.
She feels sick.
She carries the blow downward and smears the shade between her claws and the wild grass.
She feels black ichor on her fangs, and time distorts – her vision becomes fuzzy. She's on the other side of the battlefield with an army of wrath around her. It lashes out, but it's her wrath, chewing up and spitting out a tom she distantly recognizes as Snowpelt, a Dark Forest warrior. The white tom doesn't expect his own to turn on him, writhing in disorientation, but she runs him over – splitting his flank, stretching out to his face and then smashes his whiskers in until he's sucking down on his own mucus and blood.
Two of her shades snap his neck, two more shades find themselves torn into pieces, and her two eyes snap outwards, ensnaring another two into her anger and rage. She takes the front, paws carrying her towards a distant Jayflight. Her wrath follows.
The grey tom fights back-to-back alongside Firestar. Jayflight is full of answers, and none of them are hers. Darkness spills from the earth, and she binds it to her will. Another four shades are bound to her, and she uses them to break the formation surrounding the heroic duo. Her well burns – she has so much energy to burn. The conclusion of the last sunrise fills her body with supernatural bloat.
"Hollystrike?" Firestar meows chin and whiskers up in the chaos. He stares at the mob around her, twelve shades turned to her will. Monster's new to him but old to her. "Is it Tigerstar?" he meows, his voice steady.
She doesn't have time to explain.
"No, Tigerstar is long dead. I killed him myself." She turns to Jayflight, ignoring Firestar's cry, and asks, "I'm about to do something incredibly mouse-brained, but I need to know."
Jayflight tenses, mindlessly dodging an attack from another shade that Hollystrike binds. "Hollystrike, what your thinking of doing. Don't do it." Jayflight makes eye contact, trying to convey how serious he is, but Hollystrike doesn't care.
"Tell me."
"Eight good branches to two bad ones," Jayflight meows. "Those are our chances of winning this."
Eight good branches.
"We can do it," Firestar meows, and Hollystrike jumps because she forgot he was even in the conversation. "With Tigerstar gone," and he nods respectfully to Hollystrike, "I suspect these Dark Forest warriors will route soon enough."
Two bad branches.
"I have a plan," Jayflight meows. "I just need you to buy time by turning the shades on each other. Holly,—" he begs, "—give me time."
"Visitor!" Lionblaze yowls loud enough to vibrate her skull.
She twitches, legs jolting, and she's awake in a flurry of tangled limbs. She croaks, spits up old bile, and then twists herself upright. Jayflight is beside her, nibbling her pelt with a mouthful of herbs. She waves him away; she doesn't need help preparing for her visitor. Her eyes peel upwards; it's Squirrelflight.
Her dry throat rasps.
Squirrelflight pushes past Lionblaze with a squirrel in her mouth. She rubs pelts with Lionblaze for just a heartbeat too long and quickly glances to Jayflight for confirmation that she can enter. Jayflight nods. Hollystrike watches, not knowing what to say, and then, with her own flurry of motion, Squirrelflight bounds into a tackle.
Paws wrap around Hollystrike's breast, a head brushes her ear, and whiskers grace a tender neck. Hollystrike prepares herself for the pain, but none comes, and eventually, she has no choice but to lean into the hug.
Squirrelflight begins to shake.
Hollystrike can barely get a word in before she's covered in snot, and her mother's collapsing form buries her. "Mom?" she mews, and Jayflight has to peel their shaking mother off of Hollystrike long enough for Hollystrike to grab her bearings.
"Squirrelflight! I…" words still fail her.
Her mother blubbers. "I was so scared! Everything was happening at once, and there was no time to mourn. Barely time to think! The battle of WindClan – The Dark Forest invasion! Brambleclaw died so soon after Leafpool, and… and… I felt so ashamed and afraid! I felt like a failure for letting…" She braces herself against Hollystrike, sucking snot down her nose, and then pushes a soft smile onto her whiskers.
"Afraid and ashamed of me?" Hollystrike mews.
Squirrelflight pushes the squirrel to Hollystrike's paws and then wraps bloody paws around her back. Squirrelflight hasn't groomed herself. "Afraid for you! Ashamed because I had failed you as a mother!" She shakes Hollystrike's pelt. "I failed all of you," she meows, pointing to Lionblaze and Jayflight.
A rock settles into Hollystrike's stomach. It sits there until it becomes hard to breathe, and she has to brace herself on the ground from the blow. Her snout feels hot, and she digs her claws into the stone beneath her to try and hold on.
"That's not true!" Lionblaze yowls, Squirrelflight snorts.
Jayflight cuts into the conversation. "I am happy here," he speaks, solid and resolute. The comment takes the wind out of Hollystrike's chest, but Squirrelflight just turns on him, absolutely furious.
"You hate it here! Leafpool told me before she died, so don't bother lying. The smell, the herbs, the darkness of the den, you enjoy none of it," she hisses. "So don't tell me that I have—"
"There are other kinds of joy," Jayflight interrupts.
It's Squirrelflight's turn to have the breath taken from her.
"Mom…" Hollystrike rasps, drawing the attention back to her. "I love you."
It hurts to say, but it's true.
Squirrelflight hugs her, the pale warmth from her pelt melting into Hollystrike's ice-cold body. "You can't lie with that voice, my daughter," she mumbles. "You hate me. I lied to you for seasons, and that lie destroyed you."
"Not true," Hollystrike meows. "I… I…" How do you explain a broken life?
Hollystrike needs words that don't exist.
Squirrelflight pulls deeper into Hollystrike's frame, taking her silence as terrible truth. Lionblaze pulls himself from his watch and adds himself to the pile. Even Jayflight takes a step closer.
"Dad… mouse-brains, Firestar can't fix this." Squirrelflight shakes and then curses. "They want you dead, Hollystrike. They all want you dead, and he can do nothing about it. Great StarClan! My daughter is going to be executed! I'm sorry, Leafpool, I'm so sorry."
Hollystrike needs time to come to terms with everything. She has to figure out her feelings, who she is, and what's left. She needs enough time to fix this. Her mother and siblings are all she has left. She has to help them before… before justice is delivered.
"Can you stay for a while?" she meows at the bottom of the pile, ignoring the pain in her chest. This moment is worth the potential injury.
There are other kinds of pain as well.
Squirrelflight stays the moonrise – so she's there when Firestar and Sorreltail visit.
In the chaos, she spots Mapleshade. Hollystrike's shades break the Dark Forest's offensive along the shoreline. Wet cats pull themselves out of the brine as Hollystrike smashes a Dark Forest warrior between two boulders. She rips out his eyes and gouges fatty flesh before delivering a killing blow with two fangs. Her shades pull out and around her, facing the next wave, and that's when she sees the flash of cursed tortoiseshell in the tumble of pelts.
Jayflight wants her to break the Dark Forest's back by turning their own army against them, but she sees a better idea. She pursues.
She pushes past the wall of hostile shades, her army serving as the pointed claw, and then abandons RiverClan's warriors on the shoreline. There's the weight and resistance of pushing through an army, but then she's on the other side of the chaos with grassland beyond her. The low fields, still damp and heavy from the moonrise's rain, provide a clear view of the moving tortoiseshell who has her sight set on something else on the battlefield.
She looks at the sea of bleeding, dying, and thrashing cats standing between her and Mapleshade and then commands her shades to move forward. She picks through the invading army, lending aid to her clanmates where she can, and then marches on. Wading through the battle is sluggish. One fight bleeds into another; she balances eight battles simultaneously with her army. Again, two of her shades fall, one from an enemy and another from a panicking WindClanner, and she has to spend precious heartbeats refilling her army from the neverending tide.
Her decision costs another life as Hollystrike stumbles upon Mapleshade. The dead warrior leaps upon Graystripe's broad back, knocking him off his paws.
"I could have been a good RiverClan cat, too," she hisses into his ear. "They rejected me! But RiverClan accepted you and your kits!"
Mapleshade sinks her teeth into Graystripe's exposed neck.
Hollystrike doesn't waste words and buries Mapleshade in a pile of her own warriors, this time all writhing teeth and fangs. Hollystrike spares Greystripe a single glance, buries down the guilt of being too late again, and then joins the fray.
Mapleshade turns two of her shades into ichor, but she fails to guard every corner. Hollystrike's shades are on Mapleshade's back in a flash, scratching at her flanks, tearing belly fur, and ripping whiskers. Hollystrike swipes outwards and rakes blood from Mapleshade's snout when the third and fourth shades fall. For extra measure, Hollystrike rips a whisker from Mapleshade, and then Mapleshade's eyes latch onto Hollystrike – slits narrow, pumping rage into Hollystrike's frame, and she knows one of them will die here.
Mapleshade twists forwards, letting shades rip into her back, going for a killing blow on Hollystrike, but it's far too late. Hollystrike lets the merest fraction of her power out, still overflowing from last sunrise's battle for WindClan, and then paralyzes the tortoiseshell from bottom to top.
Wham.
Hollystrike smashes Mapleshade's head into the grass.
She has two shades pin Mapleshade's hindlegs with their fangs, another two rip out her forepaws, and then Hollystrike has another shade just sit on Mapleshade with claws in her shoulder blades. Mapleshade twitches helplessly. It's over.
"I want you to know before I kill you that I'm going to destroy everything you've worked towards," Hollystrike croaks with self-satisfaction and spite. "You're going to die dirtying yourself, and it's still going to be nothing compared to what you did to me."
Mapleshade doesn't respond. She can't.
Hollystrike lets her speak.
"My teachings failed apparently," Mapleshade coughs, bent on the ground. "You're still not willing to sacrifice everything for your goals."
The shade on her back grabs her scruff and then smears Mapleshade's face across the dirt. Ethereal blood spills onto the ground, but Mapleshade still isn't fazed. "Did that Medicine Cat tell you that this would be enough? My vengeance is secured even in death. What about yours, Hollystrike? What do you have? Seasons from now —" Mapleshade smears her snout into the now bloody ground, and a part of her face detaches.
"Doesn't matter a whisker – a whisker you don't have now. You're not looking so invincible anymore, Mapleshade," Hollystrike hisses. "It didn't take long for me to outgrow you."
Mapleshade chortles despite Hollystrike's command. "Gamble on the finicky powers of your Medicine Cat, Hollystrike, if you wish. But if you lose, when you lose, remember that you could've given more in this fight."
"I have sacrificed everything! My honor. My good name. My life. My afterlife. My family." Hollystrike looks down at her former enemy, now captive and knows it's time. Eight good branches to two bad ones. Jayflight, why?
Mapleshade convulses in the bloody grass and mud, and in her own dirt, she slams her head into the ground. Then again. And again.
"What did you say to me all those moons ago? That I'd die when you wanted me to die?" Hollystrike snarls, lets the rage simmer, and then makes Mapleshade slam her head into the ground again.
Thump.
"Where's those words now?"
Thump.
Thump.
Mapleshade spits blood and teeth, glazed eyes rotating, trying to find Hollystrike in the flashing darkness. Rage splits her features, and then her jaw is dislocated. Thump. Hollystrike spots red, angry blood and other bits of sinew she can't name.
Eight branches.
Thump.
Two branches.
Some sort of emotion rolls over Mapleshade's feature, acceptance? "There she is," she whispers, still looking at Hollystrike. Thump! Mapleshade stops moving even when Hollystrike begins tugging at her corpse.
Hollystrike looks back to Greystripe, dead on the grass, and spares a moment to have one of her shades pick him up. He deserves to have a vigil and be appropriately buried. In the meantime, she crests the hill leading to WindClan's camp and feels the burning well in the back of her mind. It's almost limitless. Ten new branches.
From her vantage point, she's lucky enough to see almost the entire battle and the collapsing Clans – routing in the chaos from unimaginable forces beyond strength.
She let's go.
"May we come in?" Firestar meows with Sorreltail at his side. The red tom pokes his head through the medicine den while Lionblaze body blocks the entrance.
"We're not taking visitors right now. Come back later," Lionblaze speaks.
Hollystrike sheathes her claws and blinks when the lightly resting Squirrelflight on her back stirs. Her mother tenses up, which bleeds into Hollystrike, who feels her adrenaline fill her frame.
"Let them in Lionblaze," Jayflight meows from the back. "They mean no harm."
Lionblaze flicks his ears and tail and then steps aside.
Squirrelflight takes Hollystrike right, Jayflight sits on her left, Lionblaze a bit to the front left, and together, they form a barrier between their leader and company. Hollystrike pulls herself to her hind legs in a sitting position and then levels her eyes at Firestar and Sorreltail.
The duo slide through the worn-down brambles, Firestar sliding in confidently while Sorreltail, in an uncommon gesture, awkwardly scoots to his right. The dappled tortoiseshell looks out of place, and Hollystrike imagines it's only through sheer force of will that she doesn't melt into the stone floor.
"Why Sorreltail?" Hollystrike meows. This conversation should be private. Could she force Firestar to kick Sorreltail out? She had the ability.
"Sorreltail is acting deputy —" Oh. "—until she decides to step down or I pass on," Firestar speaks to the room. "Times are strange, and speaking for her, Sorreltail is unsure if she wants to keep the position. Between the six of us, I hope she does." He flicks his tail across Sorreltail's flank. "I am on my last life. When the inevitable happens, I hope I have a good successor."
Sorreltail is deputy. Firestar is on his last life.
Hollystrike coughs as Lionblaze twitches. "Why are you telling me this?" she asks, pausing to swap her throat and watching Sorreltail wince at the sound of her voice. "Why us?" Hollystrike finishes.
"All things end, Hollystrike," Firestar speaks.
Is that a threat?
Hollystrike feels her pelt spike until it's patted down by Squirrelflight and Lionblaze. Her brother gently holds down her twitching paws, and her mother licks the back of her scruff.
"Which won't happen soon, I won't allow it," Jayflight speaks. "With my powers, Firestar, you have the foreseeable future ahead of you."
"Are we speaking openly about that now?" Lionblaze interrupts and Hollystrike watches the room awkwardly shake.
There's a pause, and then Sorreltail speaks up with a cough. "What Firestar means is that we're here to discuss what we can do for Hollystrike and hopefully end this standoff that has ThunderClan and your brothers at each other throats. Many stones have been thrown, and we're unsure where they'll land."
Jayflight looks grim, and in an instant, Hollystrike knows. She needs time, but she's not going to get it. "Just…" Hollystrike sucks down her fear. "Just slit my throat and get it over with."
"Absolutely not!" The cats in the den yowl. None of them are happy with her request. "We will—"
"If I must die," Hollystrike's mutter cuts through the room, "then let me die without shaming our family further. I've done enough." This is how she can fix things. The monstrous cat saves the Clans and then dies. That is a good story. That is what she can leave behind.
"I would prefer for you to live instead. Some cats love you still," Firestar meows, restarting the conversation, and Hollystrike doesn't know what to think about the implication. Sorreltail hums, and Lionblaze interjects with his own pleading. Hollystrike ignores it and turns to Jayflight. The grey tom already knows.
They make eye contact, and then Jayflight shakes his head.
"Oh, Hollystrike, you haven't shamed me at all," Squirrelflight whispers, brushing her whiskers against Hollystrike's snout.
"No, I've just brought disaster," Hollystrike whispers back. "Just disaster and death and—"
"Banishment is an option," Jayflight speaks. Sorreltail's ears jump, and Firestar tilts his head in reply.
It's Hollystrike's turn to interject: "Absolutely not! I'd rather die nine times!"
Lionblaze meows, "Hollystrike, think about it. It—" Hollystrike smacks him in the snout.
"Well, it's best not to rush into any decision," Sorreltail meows. "Firestar and I will make the final decision next sunrise. Exile could be a good option—" Hollystrike curses but is silenced by Jayflight's prodding tail, "—but whatever Firestar decides, I recommend getting your affairs in order, Hollystrike. Lionblaze can protect you if you want to tour the camp or the territories. There's not much we could do to stop you even if we tried." She looks at Hollystrike, and surprisingly, Hollystrike drops the gaze first.
Firestar hums as if he's in on some secret joke, and then, in a moment, his gaze returns to a serious expression. He glances at the trio and then at his last daughter. "I would like to talk to you in private, Squirrelflight if you could spare the time. Now would be best," he meows. "We can take our leave."
Squirrelflight glances down at Hollystrike, who glances at Jayflight. When the grey tom says nothing, Hollystrike sucks in her gut and gives Squirrelflight permission to leave. No use of her power either.
"Right," Squirrelflight meows, rolling her shoulders with reluctance. "We best get going." She glances back quickly. "I'll bring back dinner!" Hollystrike blinks, and then Squirrelflight follows Firestar and Sorreltail out of the den.
Sorreltail is the acting deputy. Great StarClan.
She listens to the pitter-pat of their paws falling outwards until silence, ignores Lionblaze's following comment, and then lets the moment's enormity crash onto her.
I…
"Jay…" she whispers, and then louder, "I… I messed up."
"Holly!"
She lets herself collapse violently onto the stone, ignoring Lionblaze's cry and then both of her brothers lightly hold her until she feels the cold stone press into her soft belly fur. Her paws start shaking, and then her limbs, and soon she can't control her own heaving body. She vomits, expunging a hairball that's mostly goop. Jayflight is there to clean her, but Hollystrike dry heaves; then she feels her limbs spray out widely. Jayflight curses, but she can't hear him.
"I messed up," she repeats, and just saying it out loud makes it real. "I messed up and can't fix it," she coughs, turning into a choking rasp, and then Jayflight has his mouth on hers in a medical emergency.
Breath.
Breath.
Breath.
Hollystrike breathes into her brother's mouth and then lets go of him – taking a deep breath. She centers herself, pulling herself back by sheer will alone.
I need to know. I need to know everything.
"Jayflight, I need you to explain," she commands. Lionblaze, who's still beside her, hears her tone change and sits alongside her.
Jayflight sighs – and then he sits down on her front left. He speaks.
"I was too fresh, too new to everything to know the full consequences of you killing Sol," he explains, returning to what feels like a lifetime ago. "I just knew if he got to talk to you alone, the futures got worse. Worse but manageable. That, combined with the disaster at the fire, led to everything, and by the time I realized what future lay ahead, we were barreling ahead into the foxes' den. The truth, Hollystrike," he pauses, "was that I, alongside Lionblaze, could've stopped you at any time before we left for WindClan."
Lionblaze sucks in his breath, opening his mouth to speak, but Hollystrike pushes her tail over his in a gesture of silence. Jayflight continues.
"I thought that WindClan would allow Lionblaze to pursue his dreams, one of my successes, but I also thought that you would bring the Clans all into one spot. If Lionblaze and I stopped you in ThunderClan, the Clans would've been split across the territories for the final battle against the Dark Forest. We would've all died. You succeeded stunningly, bringing all the Clans into a defensible position while killing two of their leaders. I let it happen, and it caused you unimaginable grief. I am so sorry. I hoped you would be satisfied with turning your power onto the Dark Forest, trusting that the Clans wouldn't rout, but you weren't. You were right, Holly. Mind-controlling the Clans with your power was the best chance for victory. Ten new branches." Jayflight stops and lets them think.
"Then why? Why would you risk those two bad branches – two bad futures? With all of the Clans at stake?" Hollystrike rasps, confused.
"Isn't it obvious?" Jayflight begins to shake as he mews. "I was trying to save you! You, Hollystrike! If you had just listened, let it go, and not retaken control of the Clans during the great battle, I could've persuaded Firestar and the others to forgive you! To let you stay." His voice cracks, becoming louder, and he begs for forgiveness, "I was trying to be selfish! What are two bad branches in comparison to a sister? I'd take that chance any sunrise."
Lionblaze leaves her side and then grabs Jayflight, supporting his now weak weight.
"Jay," she rasps, "is… is there anything you can do?"
Jayflight sucks snot back into his nose and lays down beside her.
"No," he mews, pulling in on himself. "There's nothing I can do now. It's out of my paws."
If her death could fix this, Hollystrike would take it without thinking. How worthless.
The Clans rally; Hollystrike pushes the Dark Forest back by force of will. A hundred warriors fight against her pull, legs twitching and snouts snarling, but she bends their will under the straining headache. She'll end up in the Dark Forest for this, but she holds the ground.
The wave of shades breaks upon her defensive line that's pushed back to back in WindClan's camp, and from atop a rock, Hollystrike commands the Clans to hold. Apprentices are shoved into the middle of the mob, but after that, there's not much she can do to prevent innocent loss of life as she's pressed into the bloodbath from ten sides. Claws flash – hers and then Crowfrost's and then Graymist's and then – too many cats to name, and she just rides the wave, pulling an entourage of warriors to her side for support.
Her rally helps Lionblaze shatter the back of Hawkfrost, and with an echoing boom, her brother scatters Tigerstar's warriors. Brokenstar goes for a killing blow, bites into fur harder than stone, and then has his skull bashed inwards. Antpelt scatters once across the grassland as a corpse and then once as ethereal goop.
It isn't enough. Two of Hollystrike's lights go out, and her left flank collapses. Lionblaze on her right flank can't protect every angle, and she can't make her warriors fight with supernatural prowess. The shades pile over each other in a mountain of limbs, and then Hollystrike has to pull back. She gives precious ground paid for in damnation.
She pulls her entourage to her. Two ShadowClan warriors, Duskfur of RiverClan, and Spiderleg, crowd her and then split the flank of an approaching shade. Grassland is swallowed in the hostile tide, she loses the protection of a bramble bush, and Hollystrike prepares to make her last stand in the center of WindClan's camp. With over eighty cats under her command and thirty-two shades at her command, Hollystrike leads the largest fighting force of all time; it's still not enough.
She splits the neck of a shade, falling backward against two more, letting her festering ShadowClan warriors protect her. Five more shades rush in – Duskfur and Spiderleg defend her – she sees the end approaching and then—
The early sunrise turns into starlight.
Hollystrike glances up into the sky and sees golden stars. Jayflight joins the battlefield on her collapsing left flank – cutting through the shades with a hundred warriors of StarClan. He splits the throat and back of a shade, leaping onto its back as it falls, and Hollystrike screeches when Rushtooth pulls himself out of the shadows to kill her brother.
Her power leaps – but another force is faster.
Power bleeds from Jayflight's frame, and then, with effort she can feel from even a tree-lengths away, her brother summons a second army to his call. Another wave of furious warriors, not of StarClan, pull themselves from the skies and a flashing claw of white strikes Rushtooth into the ground.
Another hundred warriors join the battlefield, bringing with them the cold of the mountains, and now the Clans outnumber the Dark Forest three to one. Jayflight collapses, and Hollystrike watches a warrior she doesn't know pick him up. He braces his shoulder on a molly Hollystrike has never met. Her pelt is as white as blinding snow.
The Dark Forest begins to scatter, and Hollystrike, in the maddening adrenaline, lets the new tide take her. She strikes down another two shades, another four, and then seven, and then she's the one chasing the retreating Dark Forest. The battle shifts in their favor.
She's done it. They've done it.
From the top of the hill, she watches the shades and the Dark Forest Warriors bolt for the tunnels, retreating into the darkness below to the place she can never pursue. Starlight exposes them and outnumbered three to one, they run like cowards.
"There will be three, kin of your kin, who will hold the power of the stars in their paws."
The prophecy comes back to her in the roaring cheer of victory. This is the moment. The most important moment of her life. The Dark Forest cannot be allowed to escape. They cannot ever have the chance to fight again – to bring ruin to the Clans long after she's gone.
Her power is run dry.
With two nasty ShadowClan warriors and Duskfur of RiverClan on her left and Spiderleg on her back right, she pulls on her strands once again, reaching out across the territory for her warriors. The energy rips back into her body, and she almost drops, but she holds and lets it loose onto the retreating Dark Forest. She lets go of the warriors on the outer edge of her control first, furthest away from her, but she runs out of energy to burn and begins dropping connections closer to her. She has to watch the ShadowClan warriors behind her for betrayal.
With one eye mentally on the murderous ShadowClan warriors, she keeps her other on Lionblaze, who leads the charge into the retreating shades. The Clans rally alone, and she watches the shades get massacred in the retreat. She holds the shades and lets her brother run them over.
She drops another connection somewhere to her right to rip Shredtail into the ground, and he gets his throat slit by a StarClan warrior. Snowtuft gets bound to her will, and then a WindClan warrior scatters him.
She pulls on her strands from across the Clans, ripping the energy through her body, and then shunts it into the darkness until she brings their army down low. She rips energy from her right, keeping it on her left so that none of her ShadowClanners get any nasty ideas, and then with her—
Spiderleg bites down onto her neck. He rips flesh and bone from her back and torques downwards in the downblow. Her head jerks, and she screams in pain, lashing strands at Spiderleg as quick as she can from the corner of her eye.
It's too late.
Spiderleg takes her legs out from under her, and she hits bloody grass. Her head rattles, the last her of power going out to hemorrhage the last of the Dark Forest. She hears a snap, stares Spiderleg directly into the eyes, and then he lifts off her.
"Your crowfood, Hollystrike!" Spiderleg brings his claws down onto her neck, and then it's only darkness and blood.
The following sunrise, Hollystrike pulls herself to her paws, pushes out her forelegs until she feels the stretch, and then repeats the process with her hindlegs. She wiggles her toe-pads, unsheathes and sheathes her claws, and rotates her paws until she feels the crack of her bones. With tender care, she stretches her neck, feeling phantom pain from her wounds – ear, neck, tail, and all – and then prepares to tend to what she assumes will be her last affairs.
"Jayflight? Lionblaze?" she meows. She blinks at her golden brother and then glances backward when she smells Jayflight. "I want to take a look at the camp. Along with a couple of other things."
"Sure," Lionblaze meows and then Jayflight gives them the nod. He follows them from the medicine den and into the snowed-out Stone Hollow. Leaf-Bare has come with fresh snow lightly drifting down. Hollystrike sneezes from the cold.
Dustpelt pokes his head out from the main bramble entrance, carrying fresh prey, and Ferncloud greets him as a vigil guard. The long-time queen takes a break from her duties to serve another purpose. Brightheart hears Jayflight from the warrior's den, flicking her ears in their direction, and Jayflight responds in kind with a gesture of friendship.
When did they reconcile?
She doesn't get her answer as Sandstorm unveils herself from Firestar's den alongside her mate and leader. Hollystrike has her attention and temptation grabbed when ThunderClan's leader exits his den. Sorreltail, the deputy, is there as well, alongside Brackenfur. Her former mentor takes a glance at her. She glances back, but then Sorreltail grabs his attention for something. They seem… okay. Happy even.
I've given my life for this. This is what I've killed for.
Hollystrike isn't sure what she's supposed to be feeling, but it seems ThunderClan doesn't care anyway. ThunderClan is smaller – weaker – but it continues. The warrior's life never stops.
She spots Spiderleg across the clearing, and Hollystrike feels flashing guilt for what she's done. Spiderleg spots her, anger flashing across his whiskers, and he almost sprints at her, but Cloudtail, beside him, pulls him back.
She's not sure what is better. Spiderleg's hatred or ThunderClan's apathy.
"Can we…" she swaps her throat, glancing at Jayflight. "Can we visit where Leafpool was buried after her vigil?"
"Leafpool isn't in the earth, Hollystrike," Jayflight replies with an eyebrow raised.
Lionblaze swats him, and Jayflight makes a mock tumble on her right. She catches him on instinct. "Sorry," she mews with his scruffle in her mouth. He's not a kit anymore.
Jayflight pulls himself up, and Hollystrike lets go. "Well, at least it's proof that you've fully healed – at least healed as much as you can," he mutters.
"Come on, Jay," Lionblaze meows. "Let's take her to Leafpool – wherever that is."
Jayflight sighs but doesn't comment again and then starts dragging them across the clearing, behind dirtplace. Lionblaze glares at any cat who gets too curious, but not many cats are interested. They sneak out the back like they did as kits, heading towards the WindClan border. The journey seems to pass in a heartbeat. Jayflight brings them to a patch of dirt covered in light snow, then tilts his head toward the earth. "She's not here," he mutters.
Hollystrike doesn't care.
"At first, I hated you," she meows and keeps going even when it hurts her throat. "I think I still do. I'm not sure anymore, but I tried. I tried to make a world that you would've been happier in. I wish I had gotten a chance to know you better."
Her throat gives out. The rest happens pretty quickly.
"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Highledge for a Clan meeting!" Firestar calls from his perch. The tom positively glows, fur groomed into slick fiery streaks throughout the moonrise by Sandstorm, and Hollystrike feels small again. Her grandfather looks whole and healthier than she's seen him in sunrises.
There's a swarm of movement, and Lionblaze sits himself to her left, pelt brushing hers, as all of ThunderClan gathers. The air bubbles with tension, and Jayflight pulls himself out of his den to climb the Highledge. He sits next to Sorreltail. It's a strange duo – he looks proud.
As for Hollystrike? She feels the eyes peel to her pelt and she swallows. They're hungry.
"This season has been trying for all of us. For reasons that I do have to explain, we have faced incredible odds and trials. Not for many seasons in the past or future will we experience anything like these sunrises again. Yet, in these times, we see what true warriors are capable of," Firestar yowls. "ThunderClan survives!"
"ThunderClan survives!"
"ThunderClan survives!"
"ThunderClan survives!"
"ThunderClan lives forever!"
"ThunderClan lives forever!"
"THUNDERCLAN LIVES!"
"THUNDERCLAN LIVES!" "THUNDERCLAN LIVES!" "THUNDERCLAN LIVES!"
It's deafening in her one ear. Even with her power, it's a greater cheer than she ever got.
Firestar waves his tail, quieting the crowd, and Hollystrike sees Squirrelflight in the crowd. She shakes, supported by Sandstorm, but she's smiling. She's smiling. Hollystrike mouths an "I'm sorry" over the din, and Squirrelflight nods through Sandstorm's support, mouthing her reply, "I love you."
Hollystrike has to look away.
"Unfortunately, in these times, we also see the pits that warriors can reach – even the best of us. Hollystrike," Firestar speaks, looking down at her, "you have broken the Warrior Code and betrayed the Clans' way of life. The death of countless Warriors are at your paws. These are crimes I cannot forgive – despite your abilities – you –" her grandfather pauses, and for a moment Hollystrike thinks he's changed his mind, "— are exiled from ThunderClan and the rest of the Clan territories. You have until sundown to be off our territory. Lionblaze, Jayflight, and Squirrelflight will escort you out. You will be considered an enemy of ThunderClan and the Clans' way of life. Return, and you forfeit your life."
ThunderClan yowls. Some cheer; some bay for her blood.
Lionblaze wraps his tail around her own, pulling her towards the camp entrance, and Jayflight joins them. Hollystrike feels raw, bled out on rocks. "I always wanted to be special and powerful. To make our parents and grandparents proud," she whispers.
Lionblaze sniffles, but Jayflight is the one to speak.
"Hollystrike," Jayflight meows. "The value of a cat isn't measured in their blood, or their legacy, in their power, or in their deeds. It's measured by who they love and who loves them – and how much they love themselves." He pauses to look at her in the eyes without fear or condemnation. "In that regard, you're our hero. No matter what happens."
Lionblaze pulls her into a hug, and then Jayflight jumps in. Hollystrike can only stand and return the gesture as she spots Squirrelflight coming their way.
"When did you get so wise?"
She knows that Jayflight can read minds, but as usual, he doesn't give a response.
Squirrelflight joins them. The four of them have a moment, and then Lionblaze meows, "Come on, let's get Hollystrike to the border." The golden tom follows his duty and pulls them through the bramble tunnel and then to the northern border.
Hollystrike notes familiar paths and bushes and ashed trees in the snow. Leaf-Bare wipes the forest clean, and her fear settles into trepidation. She sucks down warm saliva. By the time they reach the border, she feels like a kit again, not in casual youth, but in climbing out to a precipice she can't see and feeling her world end
.Jayflight centers her. "We'll have a moment to talk when we reach the border. You have questions that I can answer," he speaks. He walks behind her with Lionblaze in front and Squirrelflight far back. Hollystrike strikes her tail against Jayflight's whiskers. He purrs.
"Should… should I be here?" Squirrelflight mews. "I can leave if you three want to talk alone." She drags her tail across the ground when Jayflight flicks his ears.
"No! I mean, yes! You should be here," Hollystrike interjects. "I want you here with us. There's nothing here that Jayflight can't say in your presence. Right, Jayflight?" Some of her old spirit returns because it's a command, not a request.
Jayflight sighs. "Sure," he meows.
Lionblaze coughs. "I don't want to ruin the conversation, but we're at the border. Hollystrike… should probably head on from here without us." The golden tom pulls around to face them in a group huddle with Squirrelflight.
Hollystrike breathes deep the scent of ThunderClan. There's no official end to ThunderClan's territories in this direction. This far north, the land turns into craggy hills, too far away for convenience and not enough prey for the effort. ShadowClan is the closest to them; they've never wanted the stretch.
"Will ShadowClan be okay?" she meows, remembering Sol, ShadowClan's magical tricks, and the devastation wrought upon their western border.
"I'll deal with it. Along with RiverClan," Jayflight replies. "You won't have to worry about it, but I have plans to get ShadowClan back in order and RiverClan their territory back."
"Sol's dam."
"That, along with a couple of things. The tunnels beneath the territories need to be mapped, and I need to get Fallen Leaves out of there. Other threats are coming that I'll need to prepare for," Jayflight finishes.
Squirrelflight interjects: "You're leaving for the other Clans?"
Jayflight flicks his ear at his mother. "No, I'll be staying in ThunderClan. There will be some new rules regarding how Medicine Cats can move around the territories soon. I also need to get back into contact with Mothwing, Littlecloud, and Barkface. I intend to take advantage of the coming times." He wraps his tail around Squirrelflight.
"And you?" Squirrelflight mews towards Lionblaze, who mostly has remained silent. Mom lets out a breath, trying desperately to stay calm.
The tom stirs, and then, with shifty paws, he meows, "I'll be heading to WindClan soon once things settle down in ThunderClan." He nods towards Jayflight and Squirrelflight and then continues. "Sorry for the quick decision, but I'll keep in touch. I'll make sure to see both of you at border patrols and moon gatherings – once those start up again."
Jayflight hums while Squirrelflight chokes.
Hollystrike, on shaky paws, asks her golden brother, "Are you sure?"
Green eyes plead with amber, smiling back at her.
"Yes, I'm pursuing what I love. You taught me that," Lionblaze meows. He taps her on the chest with his nose. "Promise me, Hollystrike, promise me on StarClan that you'll be happy."
"Promise us," Squirrelflight meows.
Hollystrike looks at her mother. The temptation strikes to just call fox-dung. The temptation to just turn around and head back - walk into ThunderClan and let loose with her power. She could make them let her stay. Jayflight – they could figure it out, given a season. The words come so easily to her, the words needed to change their minds. They could fix this; she doesn't need to walk off into exile, but then the temptation passes, and Hollystrike knows she can only convince herself.
Jayflight shakes his head, and Hollystrike knows that he knows.
But what even is out there for her? Here is home. Everything she's ever known and loved and fought for. Her ancestors have died for this soil, and she's just expected to leave and never return. Is she not loyal? What could she possibly do beyond this forest?
Only one way to find out.
Hollystrike's throat is dry, and she feels like a kit, but she meows, "I will try if you do the same." Trying is all she can do. She makes eye contact with all of them. Squirrelflight hugs her.
"I'm sorry," Hollystrike rasps, awkwardly hugging her mother. "I wasted all my time on hating you."
"Don't be sorry. I love you. I shouldn't have lied. Leafpool may have birthed you, but I understand now that you were my kits." Squirrelflight breathes deep, brushing whiskers against Hollystrike, and then meows, "Whatever you do, I'm sure we'll see each other again."
Hollystrike refuses to make eye contact, but Squirrelflight wrestles Hollystrike's snout back to her. Hollystrike looks her mother in the eyes, trying not to make a mouse-brain of herself. Squirrelflight whispers, "Stop that!" when Hollystrike tries to tug her head back into an eye-contactless hug. "Look at me," Squirrelflight meows and Hollystrike has no choice. "I love you. I am so proud."
Hollystrike feels like such a failure – she feels shame for who she is. A tiny part of her says that it's wrong to feel this way, but it's a tiny part. What proud daughter walks into exile with nothing to show for it?
Lionblaze joins in the hug, and then Jayflight soon after with a reluctant grumble. He mutters, "Didn't we do this already?" Hollystrike makes sure to hold him extra tightly.
"You'll all be okay?" she mews.
She gets a resounding "Yes."
In between the fur, Jayflight whispers into her remaining good ear, "The Clans were routing. Hollystrike, we're alive this sunrise because of you. I was wrong, and you were right. It should be us asking you if you'll be okay."
Hollystrike feels hot and sweaty around the paws. Her body shakes as the grief springs anew. Fresh snow rains down on her, and she wants this moment to last forever. Sol, Mapleshade, Tigerstar, and Ashfur; all her enemies are gone. The prophecy is completed, and even now, her power burns in the back of her mind.
Despite all her mistakes, she's saved everyone she can, but the only cats she wanted to save are right here.
I wasted so much of my life – and now it's all gone.
The moment ends eventually. The four of them disentangle – some of them sniffling more snot than others – and Hollystrike picks herself up on sweaty paws and meows to Lionblaze, "Treat Heathertail right when you end up in WindClan!"
In response, the golden tom points his tail high into the sky, and they all cheer goodbye. Hollystrike takes a step away from them, across the border, dares not to look back, and then puts another paw in front of the other.
"Jayflight, will I be happy?"
She waves her tail to Squirrelflight, the only mother she's ever known who has to watch her daughter leave forever. The red molly responds kindly, and Hollystrike doesn't know if they'll ever have another word.
"You won't believe me if I tell you. I just need you to have faith."
Hollystrike doesn't look back.
"Be happy, Jayflight."
Jayflight doesn't respond, whether physically or in her mind. Maybe he doesn't want to, maybe he has nothing left to say, maybe she's out of his range – either way, Hollystrike doesn't want to know as she crests the hill. She crosses another ridge, stepping gingerly over unfamiliar rocks, and then shivers when another step carries her belly deep into the snow. She climbs higher – leaving the Clans behind her – and the steps become easier with distance.
She thinks back to when she was an apprentice at the Tribe of Rushing Water and saw the eagle in the sky – thinking to herself how it would be to have wings and go anywhere she wished, trying to escape a she-cat that seemed invincible. A lifetime ago, and she wonders how the Tribe of Rushing Water is doing now.
She could go visit. Just a visit, though, she couldn't stay. There's too much to see and do. Now that she thinks of it, she could also visit the old territories. The place where the Clans were born. Didn't Firestar's stories mention that Ravenpaw stayed behind? She wonders if he's still there. She could find out.
When she looks back, she looks down at the ThunderClan territories. The border is too small from this distance – she looks, but Squirrelflight and her brothers are already gone.
Just like that, the moments are gone.
A/N: As we approach the twilight hours of The Moments, I would like to thank everyone who's been reading along and enjoying the journey. I've been reading every comment and review, whether positive, negative, or crazy, even though I haven't replied to all of them. Next Saturday, I will be posting the epilogue and closing out this writing project.