Jumin's POV
I step out of the elevator, sighing in relief. We are almost back to my penthouse - the door is right there. I can do this. I can hold it together a few more feet, and then once we're inside, I can apologize.
I know I have acted like a fool today. I let my emotions get the best of me, and I spoke so impulsively at the conference. I told him I'd keep my feelings a secret, and yet I reacted so passionately. I haven't checked the news reports yet, but surely they know. And surely Zen's upset. He's been barely able to look at me since, flushing red and fidgeting every time I glance his way.
"Mr. Han," Security says as I approach, "these arrived for you while you were gone."
What now? I just want to go inside. I look to where the guard is gesturing and see two medium packages stacked on top of each other near the door.
"I'll grab them," Zen says, stepping up from behind me. "Can you get the door, Jumin?"
I punch in my code and shift to the side, holding the door open for him. I hear Elizabeth the 3rd meowing as she comes to greet us.
"Thanks," he says, stepping past me with the boxes. "Do you know if there's anything fragile in these?"
"Ah," I blink, startled by his question. I release the door, letting it click shut behind us. "I don't-"
He sets them down roughly, practically dropping them, inches in front of Elizabeth. With a hiss, she skitters off back towards her room.
"Sorry, Elly," he mumbles in a hasty breath. Then in a fluid motion, he straightens and moves towards me, pinning my back against the mahogany door with a thunk. Less than a second passes before his hand wraps around the back of my neck and his mouth collides into mine.
My eyes widen, and I'm stunned into momentary paralysis. But his heat. His smell and his taste. The feel of him as his body leans into me. The confused stupor that wracks my mind quickly fades as my mind's imperative is replaced with need.
I take action, wrapping my arms around his back and spreading my lips so our tongues can meet. My eyes fall closed as we kiss, the wild ferocity of Zen's technique unlike anything he's done so far. Our breath comes hot and heavy into each other's mouths as we wage what feels like a carnal war of the tongues right here in the entryway.
And just as my head begins to spin, blood flow rerouted from one head to the other, he breaks away. I ruefully open my eyes, but I am rewarded with his flushed and smiling face staring back at me.
"God… It's been hard holding that back," he says breathlessly, his white teeth gleaming. "Come." Zen takes my hand and starts walking backwards, leading me towards the bed.
I shake my head slightly, the confusion returning. "You're not… mad?"
"Mad?" he laughs softly, raising his eyebrows in surprise. His features soften and he guides me so my back is facing the bed. "Do I look mad?"
"No…"
"No," he reiterates in a soft murmur.
Zen smiles a loving, closed mouth smile, then runs his hands over my shoulders, slipping off my jacket. He lays it across my bedside table before sliding his hands up my chest. I have a mere moment to revel at his touch, because then he pushes. I stumble backwards, my calves knocking into the frame, and I fall onto the soft mattress.
"Quite the opposite, actually." Zen leans over me, his eyes matching the seductiveness of his grin.
The opposite…? In an instant, my brain begins switching gears, recalculating. I subtract anger from the equation, and add in his behavior since we got home. The immediate and wild kiss. Leading me to the bed. Opposite of mad. And the math is clear. He's pleased with me for some reason, and it's aroused him.
The corner of my mouth quirks up. My building anxiety from today rapidly vanished and replaced by my usual confident control. I look up at him, his silver hair falling over his shoulder and landing on my belly. I reach up to cup his cheek. He bites his lower lip, his teeth digging into that plump, pink tissue with a mouthwatering countenance that sparks pulses straight through my length. Then he suddenly closes the distance between us, our mouths colliding with forceful passion. I hold his face as we kiss. He busies his hands with my buttons. And as we taste each other, I feel his attention move lower, the sound of my belt buckle jingling and zipper unzipping as he unfastens my pants. His hand slides across my swell, pleasure and need rising hard within me, then up. Under my open shirt, his warm fingertips massage across my abdomen, all while his tongue keeps up its blissful caress of my own.
Suddenly, he rises, the heat of his body going with him. His piercing red eyes level me as he stands at my feet, looking down on me, his chest rising and falling visibly with each breath. He holds eye contact as he slides off his jacket and tosses it on top of mine. Then he takes off his tie. Undoes the buttons of his vest and dress shirt. Unfastens his belt and pant's zipper so his swell is obvious. With his chest now exposed, he draws an open hand down his mouth, licking his middle fingertip as it passes his lips, and keeps slowly dragging it down his neck, pecs, abs… until he grips himself through his boxers. My mouth goes slack as I follow the trail of his hand. Is he… putting on a show for me? My eyes dart back up to his, and he smirks.
"Like what you see?"
I return his smirk. "I'd rather it be my hand on your body, but yes. I like it."
"Greedy," he teases. Zen walks around my bed to the corner and pulls out the lube and condoms and tosses them next to me. As he returns to my feet, he steps up between my knees and murmurs, "But you're allowed to be greedy."
"Am I?" I grin.
My gaze narrows as he slowly slips his shirt off each shoulder, then lets it fall to the floor. I let my eyes trail down to his waist, and shortly after his pants drop. And as I stare at his nude form, the curves and shadows that fall across his pastel and polished skin, outlining each of his defined muscles… I am struck once again with how he looks like a piece of fine art, meant for a leading exhibit at the Louvre.
"Can I be greedy, too?" he asks, taking hold of my pants.
"Of course," I say with gentle seriousness. "I would give you the world."
He tenses, the look of playful lust replaced by an expression that I can't quite place. It somehow looks both sad and happy at the same time, which baffles me. Did I say something I shouldn't have? Or did I say something good? One of my favorite things about Zen has always been his unrestrained reactions. I knew exactly how he felt because he told me. But lately, he's been so much harder to parse out. Is it the difference of being intimate? The struggle of relationships?
Zen's hands tighten around my waistband, his expression returning to an impish smile. "I can't give you the world, Jumin," he mumbles, "but I can give you me."
His words sink into me and blossom, the warmth and comfort that comes with his reassurance that he is mine filling me up and soothing my soul. But I don't have long to savor this feeling or to respond.
He yanks my pants and briefs off, leaving me bare and my erection standing straight. Falling to his knees, his hand and mouth quickly take me inside, making my head fly back in reaction to the sudden sensations. I groan, picking my head up to look at him, only for him to take me to the back of his throat and send it flying back again. I moan and gasp, my hips pulsing up and into the wet heat of his mouth, all thoughts except pleasure gone from my mind.
I feel his hand slide under my leg, then hike it up and over his shoulder, spreading my legs open wider. His head continues to bob up and down, every so often taking me straight to the back and making me almost lose myself. I'm vaguely aware of his hand moving again, this time lower. Cupping my balls. Rubbing the seams of my thighs. Massaging the area I recently learned is called the perineum, which sends an unfamiliar sensation of pleasurable fullness up through my abdomen.
It all feels amazing, but a sense of panic breaks through the pleasure. He's moving downwards, I realize. He pushed me down on the bed, and has been taking charge this whole time. …Is he planning to top me?
Zen pops off of my erection, panting. "Jumin, I don't think I can take it any more." He reaches next to me to the pile of lube and condoms he tossed there and grabs a condom wrapper, tearing it open. "Let's fuck."
His phrasing is vulgar, but does it really matter? His intentions are scaring me. I would… be open… to letting Zen top. It is not my preference, but could I deny him? No. But this seems so sudden. And he hasn't prepped me correctly. I could guide him through it, but even if he did, how sore would I be after? Zen was fine because of his healing, but it is so common for there to be pain unless the top is extremely careful and patient…
Zen's hand slides down my length again, this time in a slow, methodical method. And the texture feels different. I prop up and focus my eyes on it, and realize what I'm feeling is the condom. The condom. On me. …Not him.
"You got softer," he murmurs, staring at my still vertical, yet ebbing erection, then looking straight at me, dejection in his eyes. "Do you… not want to? Or would you rather I use my mouth again…?"
I instantly feel guilty, but can't help the laugh that slips out as realization and relief wash over me. I speak quickly, wanting to clear up this misunderstanding as soon as I can. "No, Zen, of course I want to." I sit up, reaching out to stroke his cheek as I smile down on him. "I got soft because I was nervous. I thought you were planning to be top."
"But I was…" he says quietly. "Do you not like that position?" He stands, about to climb onto the bed. "I can go on my back again…"
I grab him, pulling him onto my lap so he's straddling me. "Not on top. The top. I thought you wanted to penetrate me," I say, being as clear as possible.
His eyes go wide as his face turns bright red. I grin at the shocked expression on his face, further relief filling me. I guess he wasn't thinking about that at all.
"Silly of me, hmm?" I say in a teasing voice.
With him sitting in this position, his neck is right at eye level. I lean in, eager to taste his skin on my tongue again. And now I can be confident I won't leave lasting marks… I think with a grin as I nip at the base of his neck. He flinches, but leans into me, wrapping his arms around my neck. As my mouth begins to work his throat, I slide my hands over his waist and back to his ass, cupping it firmly in my palms. He lets out the smallest of whimpers, and I can feel my erection returning to full mast.
"I-I don't know, it's not that silly. I could top."
"Could you?" I smirk, playful salaciousness now dominating my mood. I grab the lube next to me and generously apply it to my hand. As my slick fingers make contact with his hole, I say, "But don't you think I match the description better?"
He shudders against me, his opening twitching in the most eager, amusing way. "W-what do you mean?" he mumbles, taking my bait.
I can't stop the massive grin that spreads my lips. I nuzzle into his neck, hiding my smile, and slide one finger inside him. His sharp breath only encourages me.
"Well, for one, I'm older," I murmur against his skin, speaking slowly and deliberately as I take my time getting him ready for me.
"Not by that much…" he grumbles, his arms hugging me snuggly.
"Richer…"
Zen scoffs. "Okay, you got me there."
"And taller," I murmur, knowing this is the one that's going to get him riled up.
I'm not disappointed, as Zen shoots back, holding me at arms length. His red eyes narrow at me and he snaps, "Barely! Even if you are actually taller than me, it's not by much at all! We're basically the… same… h-height…"
His words trail off and his body slumps back into me as I thrust my fingers in and out of him as fast as I can in this position. He pants into my shoulder, his erection pressed against my abdomen where I can feel it beginning to dribble precum. I feel electrified, titillated like a child, at my ability to tease him then turn him into a dripping mess. My member pulses with the need to fill him, and I decide he's stretched enough.
"You know," he mumbles softly, his voice shaky, "even if all that is true… I still win the 'top' battle."
"Really?" I ask curiously, wondering where this could possibly be going as I'm lining myself up to enter him. "Why's that?"
Zen leans back just enough to make eye contact with me, then with a smug pout, says, "My dick's bigger."
I freeze, taken aback by his surprising, but technically true, declaration. A small laugh bubbles up from my chest, and then I lift my hips, watching his face wince as my tip pushes just inside. "Yes, but not by much."
"Ungh… ah… Jumin, it's…"
"Is it hurting?" I ask, slacking my hips to stop the pressure.
His face scrunches up, teeth gritted and grimacing, and even before he nods his head I'm grabbing what's left of the lube. I pull out, emptying the rest of the bottle out onto myself and between his cheeks.
"You're using the rest of it?" he questions, sounding disappointed.
"Why? Worried we won't be able to go another round without it?" I tease, lining myself up again, this time sliding across his body with slick ease. The pleasure of my tip rubbing against him only second to my desire to plunge deep inside.
"Shut up," he snips, then looks down and adds, "but… yes."
"Fear not, darling," I coo against his ear. "We will go until you are satisfied," I say, glancing past Zen's shoulder to the boxes that sit near the door.
I hold his ass, pulling him open as I slowly guide him down onto me to meet my rising hips. My tip slides in much easier this time, and I dive in until I feel slight resistance. His arms tighten around my neck, and I close my eyes as I pull back, then push in slightly deeper. Slow and steady I repeat this, reveling in the breathy groans and whimpers that pour from his lips and against my neck as he helps me lower himself down onto me. My heart thumps hard against my chest as I pace myself. Control must be maintained. Patience must be forced until his body has accepted my intrusion. But as we continue these slow, euphoric, tortuous movements, I am soon swallowed by the blissful heat of Zen's core.
Once I am fully inside, my hands climb up his back, and I hold him. Together as one, we inhale and exhale, our chests rising and falling as we sit pressed together. I can feel him twitching around me, each small spasm in time with the soft shudders of his shoulders. His erection is wet and sticky against my stomach. His scent wafting in the air around me like a perfume.
I am so… happy. Zen is so soft and warm and wonderful. He is the most perfectly exquisite person I have ever met, and here he is. Here. With me. Letting me fill him up and hold him in my arms. Holding me back with his whole self in a show of love that I have never once experienced in my life. And here, alone together in this bed, the past doesn't matter. We are the whole world. Nothing else exists outside of him and me. Here and now, I am his, and he is mine.
"Jumin," he whines, grinding himself down and sending a cascading rocket of pleasure through me. "Babe, please… I can't take it…"
I heave out a groaning breath as I smirk, a swell of something unfamiliar and wild permeating my chest. "So greedy… I love it." And I thrust up into him hard.