Zen's POV

I'm so keyed up on adrenaline I can feel my body trembling from my fingertips to my toes. I want this - I want him - so badly I almost feel sick with need. And this is even after he's already made me cum once.

God… the way he stared into my eyes the entire time… I close my eyes and lick my lips remembering his piercing gaze and gratifying praise as he fingered me. His hand fisted in my hair… and his sweet concern after. But he didn't need to be concerned… I can take it. Want to take it. I want him to let loose and lose control with me. Because as much as I feel like I've seen more and more of the real Jumin while I've been here, I still get the sense he hasn't fully relaxed around me. I sometimes see this darkness fall over his eyes, especially when we're intimate… and I have no idea how deep that darkness goes. But I want him to be able to let it out, and I am restlessly waiting to receive it.

So as I lay pressed into the bed, Jumin's hand around the back of my neck, hot and firm, just like his cock pulsing inside me, I peer up at him through the corner of my eye. I watch him search my body, his breaths increasing with each pass of his eager scrutiny. And as he leans his pelvis into me, forcing his hips hard against my ass, driving his cock the deepest inside me it's ever gone, I can't help my begging whimper.

His jaw tenses and his grip on my neck tightens, pinning me so hard between his weight and mattress it's starting to be painful. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to be patient and figure out what Jumin is going to do. And that's when I feel his other hand, soft and gentle, trailing my body. So light it's almost ticklish, his fingers move up the back of my thigh to the start of my ass. I feel him pull me wider, his thumb rounding the edge of where we're joined.

W-what is he doing? I think, embarrassment swelling hot in my cheeks. My eyes flutter open. I'm about to ask Jumin, when in a sudden rush, he makes his move.

His hands leave me, barren and waiting, but only for a fraction of a second. One wrist then the other gets taken, and before I know it, he has my hands behind my back, bound within his strong fingers. I shift my shoulders, but am given no time to adjust before I feel Jumin take hold of the back of my neck again. With a guttural groan, he slides his fingers hard against the base of my skull and fists them in my hair, once again taking control of my head.

It's like this he holds me. One hand pinning my arms to my back, the other forcing my head down, the weight of his body pushed wholly and deeply inside me at that single point of my core. I peer up at him, seeing him mussed and sweating, panting and positively feral, and feel wholeheartedly consumed.

"Mine," he growls out, his grip on my wrists and my roots tightening to a point of painfulness. "My darling angel… My Zen."

His words glide out like a caress against my spine. My eyes roll as need riles within me, the love hidden in his every declaration singing to my soul.

I curl my back so that I can push my hips even harder against his. "Yours," I moan out, egging him on with both my vow and my body.

The effect is instant.

Jumin pulls out and slams back inside of me, using his hold on my hair and arms as leverage to pound into me with thunderous vigor.

I cry out. Wide eyed and gaping I stare blankly ahead, overcome by sensations. Again I feel him pull out, slowly, and I brace myself as another collision hits me, fast and hard and deep, rocking my body even as I'm held tight and rooted firm between him and the bed.

And as he continues, each stroke of his hips coming faster than the last, I fall into it. Pain tingles at each point of contact… my hair, my wrists, my core… but so does pleasure. I can feel my eyes start to glaze over as the carnal indulgence expands within me. With each pass of his cock, pleasure rockets through me. With each deep plunge, a stirring of fulfillment washes over me. With the continued hold on my hair, a peaceful satisfaction of surrender. And I don't understand it - not any of it. But it's bliss. It feels so fucking good, and I moan loudly as each thrust collides into me. Heat swells inside, spreading out from my core, the tension of this carnal intoxication climbing and climbing with every surge of the continued onslaught.

"Zen," he pants out, and suddenly shifts.

He releases my roots just to take my ponytail. I lay exhausted and panting, struggling to find my focus as my internal tension fades, and vaguely feel him twisting the length of my hair around and around. Then, he yanks. Pulling on both my ponytail and my bound arms, he draws me back, forcing my body upward into a concave arch, practically vertical with him. I whimper and wince at the strain, my eyes watering.

But just as I think it might be too much, soft lips kiss at my shoulder.

"My Zen…" he purrs against my back, raising goosebumps on my flesh. "You are my world now," he coos. Thrusting slowly in and out, sending ripples of electric pleasure through me, he pulls my head to the side. I feel something warm and wet glide against my throat, followed by sharp nips of his teeth. "You taste like heaven…"

I close my eyes and let out a small whine, leaning back into him. "Jumin…" My timid voice is practically a beg. Though for what, I don't know. I just know that I… need him.

But a steep breath pours out of him, and he releases me. "Did I hurt you?"

My arms fall limp at my sides. My hair tumbles down, a loose mess. And I feel bare without his hands on me. "No," I console quickly, pulling his arms to my chest. "Don't stop."

He willingly obliges, and we draw together into a tight knot. His head hooks over my shoulder as his palms splay across my chest. Slowly, I reach my shaking arms up, wrapping them around the back of his neck and sliding my hands up and through his damp hair. I can't resist grinding my ass against him as I twirl my fingers in his messy locks. He shivers against me, and turning my head slightly I see him close his eyes.

"Mmm," he moans, resuming his steady, shallow thrusts. "You're okay?" he double checks. "You're okay with me…?" One hand moves to my left nipple, gently massaging and tugging, and the other moves to my neck, his fingers lightly testing the give of my flesh. "With this?"

My eyes roll back as my body yields to him. And my answer is obvious - yes. Somehow, the feel of his hand around my neck is comforting, not scary. Because as much as Jumin says mine mine mine, I hear the love behind those words. I feel it. He may be too nervous to admit it, to say it aloud, but I've seen the truth of the future, and we love each other… deeply. We're happy. I'm safe with Jumin. And he's safe with me - safe to let out this side of him.

"Yes," I grit out, assertive in my answer. "Give me all of it, Jumin. I want it. I want you."

To my surprise, Jumin lets out a startled laugh, and I can hear his smile in the way his breaths stutter out of him. His fingers spread as his palm drags up my throat until the collar of his grip meets my jaw, forcing my head to tilt back. "Your heart is racing so fast. I can feel it. Here," he taps my chest, "and here," he tenderly strokes along my carotid with his thumb. "I love the feel of your pulse beneath my fingertips," he murmurs in a husky sigh against my skin. With a firm thrust of his hips, he drives me up and into his palm, stealing my breath in the best way. "I would stay like this forever if I could… With you… My darling… My Zen… My slice of paradise." His words drip over me like honey as he drives into me again.

I close my eyes, another stronger whimper slipping out of me. The tortuous movement of his hips combined with his hands, his breath, his words… Fuck, I feel amazing. I didn't think it was possible for sex to be this good, this all-consuming.

Suddenly I feel him guide me back. My arms scramble, finding his thighs to brace against as we lean backwards together. Jumin's hand on my chest leaves me, probably as his own support for this new position, but the one on my throat remains, taut yet tender in its hold.

"Jumin," I gasp, unsure what he's doing.

"Together," he says with the first thrust. But I almost don't hear him, because somewhere inside me it feels… different. "Be mine," he continues, thrusting hard again. "Just like this." More hard thrusts hit me, sending shock after shock of overwhelming sensations through me. "Forever," he adds, his fingers tightening until I feel his nails dig into the sides of my throat.

And I have a moment, a moment of fear as I am overcome by everything. The feeling of domination his hand has on my neck… But then I realize, I can breathe just fine. His fingers are forceful in their hold, but his palm is raised, barely a feather's press against my trachea. And every jolt that rockets through me with each plunge of his cock… while alarmingly strong, are definitely jolts of pleasure.

My wide eyes relax, and I let them close as I fall into these feelings. Other than my hold on his thighs to keep me propped up, I let myself surrender to the moment. And as his thrusts gain rhythm… as his pace increases and my body submits… something about this angle… Oh holy fucking shit…!

It's almost as if I can't breathe as the pleasure cascades through me in unbearably strong waves. I can feel the build up coming quickly, my cock rock hard and pulsing as precum practically pours out of it. My eyes water as slam after slam weakens me with erotic torment.

"Does that feel good, my darling?" he murmurs out in a low, husky laugh. "You're squeezing me so deliciously…"

I don't respond, lost in rapture, my only answer my shaky moans as I ride the edge of orgasm, struggling to hold it in as long as possible.

But it doesn't take long. I practically scream as cum bursts forth out of me.

My grip on Jumin's thighs weaken as exhaustion takes me over, and Jumin has to hold me up himself for his final thrusts to his own completion. Once he finally stills, both our breaths coming in labored pants, it's almost as if we begin to sink.

Down, down we crumple, struggling to keep ourselves from falling off the bed as we come apart and readjust ourselves. Lying comfortably is made even harder by the mess I made all over yet another set of clean sheets. But we finally settle, hearts still pounding and eyes still dazed, on either side of the mattress.

Jumin slides his hand across and lightly trails his fingers over my neck. Unease flashes across his eyes, and I can't help but smile.

Reaching up to take his hand in my own, I bring it to my lips, kissing his knuckles. "Why do you look worried? I told you to keep going. I told you I wanted it."

"I know…" he murmurs, caressing his thumb over my lower lip as I continue to pepper kisses along his fingers. "But I still feel as if I did something wrong."

"You didn't." I stare him down with a serious gaze. "Hey, Jumin," I reach out and cup his cheek. "You didn't do anything wrong. It was fine - it was more than fine, it was hot." I bite my lip as I soften my expression. "It was honestly the best sex I've ever had, babe. And… even better… I felt like you opened up a bit. You don't have to be so controlled with me, you know. I like you a little wild," I tease, ruffling his hair.

Jumin smiles, but his eyes seem to cloud over with a dark haze. "You are a cruel angel," he murmurs.

I tense under his shift in demeanor. "Why? What do you mean?" I ask with a nervous laugh.

"You say all these well meaning declarations… You let me sample this paradise… but it won't last."

My head cocks slightly as confused rakes over me. I try to parse out his meaning, but I don't understand. "What won't last? …Us?" Does Jumin not want to stay with me? Is that why he won't say 'I love you' back?

His eyes rise to meet mine, and I see so much pain in them. "This moment, this… this bliss of us lying in bed together like this. It won't last forever."

I try to speak, to ask for further clarification, but I stare dumbfounded. He sounds so happy that we're together, so why would he think we would break up?

"I mean, Zen," he says with a solemn shake of his head, "in less than twelve hours I'll have to leave you to go to work."

I blink. Then I blink again, a smile curving up one side of my lips. But as his words sink in, as I realize that he's simply pouting about having to go to work, I begin to laugh. A slight, under-my-breath chuckle at first, then more vigorous, until I fall back onto my back, holding my stomach as huge cackles barrel out of me.

"I don't understand. Why are you laughing?" he asks in a low mutter. I feel the mattress move as he shifts his weight to sitting.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and roll to my side, grinning as I look up at him. "Are you saying you'll miss me?"

His eyebrows furrow. "Yes. Of course. I wish to never be away from you."

Sighly softly, I say, "I'll miss you, too, babe."

A rare flush colors Jumin's cheeks before he looks away. I find myself chewing on my lip again, excited to see yet another side of Jumin. And to be honest, it makes sense. He's never been in a relationship, and ours has had so much happen in such a short time. It'll be weird to go back to a routine - to fit our relationship into our daily lives. I guess I hadn't given it too much thought yet. I've alway had to live day to day anyway, rarely planning beyond my next paycheck.

"Hey, I have an idea." I move around to Jumin's side of the bed. "Where's your phone?"

He gives me a quizzical look then pulls it from his jacket laid neatly across the nightstand. When he holds it up, I lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Take a picture! If you have a picture of us on your phone, you can look at it at work anytime you're missing me."

A small smile quirks at his lips. "Do you think a photo is enough to replace your touch? Your smell? Your-"

"Fuck, Jumin," I laugh, snatching the phone away from him and pulling up his camera. "No, but it still might help, right? Here, smile."

I hold up the phone in selfie mode and snap a picture of us. Then another when Jumin actually forces an awkward smile. Then I see him turn, staring at me, and I turn to face him, kiss him, and snap another photo.

"There," I say with a cool smile as I hand over his phone. "Now you can look at these tomorrow."

"What if I want some of just you?" he murmurs, his eyes sliding down my nude form.

"I don't know, Jumin," I tease, leaning back and twirling my hair around my finger. "I wouldn't want you getting a stiffy at work."

He grins, a playful twinkle in his eyes as he leans towards me, bracing himself on the bed next to my bare thigh. Then his eyes rove up and down, back and forth between my eyes. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" I smirk. "Look this good, you mean?"

"Bring such light into my life," he clarifies, his tone all hushed sincerity.

Warmth blooms in my chest and spreads like wildfire. My breaths become shallow as my heart races, that twisting feeling of falling in love fluttering in my stomach all over again. I swallow hard and reach up to brush a wayward strand of his hair back into place, only to immediately miss it and move it back to the middle of his forehead. Jumin closes his eyes, that gentle expression I see so rarely coming over him as I fiddle with his hair.

I want to say it again. I want to tell him I love him and hear him say it back. But I also don't want to pressure him. I know he feels it, I do. I need to just give him some time.

So I bite my lip hard in an effort to keep myself quiet.