Hi guys, sorry for the long wait, but unfortunately got COVID and got really sick. Luckily I am starting to feel better. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for the lovely reviews so far! I have big ideas where to go with this story so stay tuned :)

...

A New Beginning

"You look so beautiful." he almost gasped as he traced his hands over her cheek down to her collarbone over her breast. She could only giggle and like an ignorant schoolgirl, she was in a total trance of his being on top of hers. She put her hand in his once more and let their fingers intertwine. They were still breathing heavy. Their hearts were still pounding uncontrollably. Was this what love felt like?

"Jack?" She then said. It wasn't quite a question. It was the start of a whole sentence, a statement she wanted to make.

"Yes?" The seriousness of her expression did worry him slightly. She took a deep breath before speaking once more. She was certain of it and no one, not even the strongest and most dangerous powers could stop her or tell her otherwise. This was it.

"When the ship docks, I am getting off with you."

His jaw dropped, unable to express his excitement and disbelief. He had hoped for it, slightly, but his biggest concern was to keep her out of this world that had caused her so much harm. Even if he wouldn't be involved in the long run, he wanted her to be free.

"This is crazy." He laughed.

"I know right! It doesn't make any sense, that's why I trust it."

He gently pulled her up in an embrace, letting his coat fall off her body completely. He kept smothering her in kisses and cried out words of excitement. A sound caught Rose by surprise. When she looked down, the car started to fill with water. Her heart stopped, but Jack remained calm. He didn't say a word and only smiled at her whilst keeping his hands on hers. Then he nodded his head and reassured her that everything would be okay in the end. Everything felt far from being okay. Within seconds the whole vehicle was flooded and Rose now started to scream. Then he was gone and she was left into nothingness. Her screams continued into the void, but there came no response. She was alone.

"Finally you are awake." Elizabeth put down her book and watched how Rose pushed herself out of bed. She looked distressed and her complexion had turned into the colour of a tablecloth, "Are you all right?"

She nodded her head. "Yes. I just had a bad dream." She moved her head, scanning the room thoroughly, "Where is Cora?"

"A stewardess picked her up to have breakfast with some other children. Listen, I have some good news; we will arrive in New York this evening."

Rose sighed in relief. Another day locked up in this room without being able to take any form of action would finally take its toll on her. On the other hand, it was also a perfection sanctuary to hide from her past that was still haunting her. Other than this cabin, there was no other place to be free from them.

"About, Jack…" Elizabeth continued hesitantly, "I was thinking we could go to the White Star Line office tomorrow. I bet they'll have all names by then."

Again, Rose wanted to protest, but she was too tired to say anything. She simply nodded and even tried to smile. Perhaps it was the safest and most logical approach to this whole situation and there was no time to disagree. For now, their main focus was to get their feet onto dry land.

Rose was no older than a year when she first crossed the ocean together with her parents, but her first memories of foreign countries that were locked inside her brain was from when she was around six years old. As her father locked himself away with his French and English colleagues, she would stroll the promenades of Paris and London together with her mother and governess. Everything looked different from buildings to monuments, but the people remained somehow the same. Even at that age, Rose had the inner urge to break free from her caregivers and run up the streets to look for what she thought they were hiding from her. The world was so big, there simply had to be something that was different. He mother would pull her by the arm towards her and sigh.

"Really Rose, you are going to get run over by a carriage if you don't keep up with us."

It wouldn't be until years later that she finally found what she had been looking for. As she traced her fingers over the pages of his sketches she looked into the eyes of reality. They way those people looked straight through her soul was hauntingly beautiful. She had always known that was the life she ought to be a part of. It lingered there within her deepest desires. And for a moment she thought she had it, she was so close.

On their way back home, as the ship turned into the docks of New York, young Rose was always welcomed by lady liberty herself. Her massive structure would tower over her and she could feel a lump form in her throat.

"Don't you ever forget where you came from and where you truly belong, my Rose." Her father spoke to her on the decks when she was six. As they both looked at the statue he smiled brightly. "This is our land, our pride. It is there to show us how powerful we truly are." She felt nothing but powerless and intimidated next to it. As if, in the grand scheme of things, she didn't matter at all. Right now, she felt nothing. Rose and Cora had descended down to the third class areas as the ship was starting to dock. It was raining, pouring actually as all they could do was wait. Rose just kept staring straight ahead of her whilst keeping the girl close by. Even she said nothing.

A minute or so had passed when a steward came up to them. He was hesitant at first, afraid to get them out of their trance.

"Can I take your names please, love?" He asked Rose carefully.

She turned her head towards him and nodded. "Yes. Rose and Cora Cartmell."

"Thank you." He marched off into the crowd of umbrellas. Rose had her hands inside her pockets where the necklace was still hidden. It felt cold and heavy and she wanted to throw it overboard within an instant, yet that would be too suspicious. If she found a way to sell it, she'd have enough money to come by for awhile, but in her heart she knew Jack wouldn't agree with it and somewhere she didn't either.

It was a perfect combination of chaos and calmness. She was home, yet nothing had ever felt more alien than ever. Families had gathered around, waiting for any sign of one of their loved ones. Newspapers and photographers where eagerly hoping to get the best story or the best picture. First and second class had already left the ship and now it was time for steerage to be pushed through the gates like kettle. Cora held Rose's hands as tight as she could, afraid that one wrong movement would make her lose everything once more. Elizabeth had promised them she'd be waiting. It almost seemed like an impossible task to find her in the crowd of hundreds. They just kept walking, trying to ditch every reporter she came across. One flash of a camera on her face and her survival would be known to the whole world. She only had to make sure Jack knew she was okay and that she knew he was too. As they left the people behind them, she finally allowed herself to breathe. Across the docks was a hotel who offered immigrants to stay the night for they had nowhere to go. Crossing the road, they waited and watched how cars and carriages drove by. A sudden figure stopped in front of them and smiled.

"Let's get the hell out of here." Elizabeth said. "I've managed a car just around the corner. We don't want to catch attention in case…you know."

"I don't know how to thank you." She felt it was all too much.

"You'll have time to think about that, but for now I want some peace and quiet and leave this mess behind."

The hotel room looked like a Walhalla. Despite the darkness of the night, the windows were big enough to let in enough light. The sheets smelled fresh and clean and as Rose rested her head on the pillow, she sighed because of it softness. Cora had already jumped onto her own bed and started giggling whilst throwing her pillow at Rose. She shot up, her bed covered in feathers. "Hey you!" She laughed, collected all the remains and scattered them over.

"Now I am a bird!" Her English accent echoed between the walls as she rushed around. Then she dropped back onto the bed next to Rose. She let out a deep breath, realising how tired she actually was.

"I think it is good to go sleep now, Cora." Rose told her and wiped her brown curls out of her face. "You know that tomorrow is a really important day and we want to be energised."

Cora nodded her head and without hesitation she crawled between the sheets. Wishing Rose and Elizabeth a goodnight, she turned her back towards them and quickly doze off.

"I think we should get in ourselves," Elizabeth yawned.

Rose nodded, but the moment she laid down again, her sleep had completely evaporated into the air. She kept staring at the ceiling which was painted a strange colour of red and now looked too dark to have any other resemblance than black infinity. The soft snoring of Elizabeth didn't help her to relax either.

When she was a few years younger, Rose was tormented by episodes of insomnia and the only way to have her calmed down was for Trudy to make her a concoction of goat's milk, honey and cinnamon. Trudy. She whispered her name into the darkness. Rose hadn't had the time to weep about her loss and she felt bad. A tear rolled down her cheeks and she closed her eyes.

She was already up before the others. As a beam of light peaked through the window onto her face, she woke up and jumped out of bed. It was no later than seven in the morning, nevertheless the streets of New York were bursting with life. After having cleaned herself up, she got dressed and waited rather impatiently for them to head out.

"Rose, please try to stay calm for a minute." Elizabeth told her an hour later. She was grooming her hair up into a Gibson Girl up do, but the footsteps behind her that were pacing around made pinning down a strand of hair an impossible task. Cora was sitting by the window, reading a book the hotel staff had brought up. Sipping her orange juice, the little girl ignored the two bickering women behind them until she was being taken by the hand and let out. Cora felt an overwhelming feeling of excitement rushing through her body for she knew she was going to see Jack again. He had called her his best girl, therefore she knew he had to be excited too. Was he going to dance with her again, or walk around with her leaning on his back? A giggle escaped her lips.

"Here we are." Elizabeth said as the car stopped in front of a building. There was still a small group of people gathered outside, letting in the news of the disaster whilst calming their nerves down with a cigarette. It was nothing compared to the hordes that had been tormenting the building for days. It was only when the Carpathia docked, everyone slowly started to accept the outcome.

They all jumped out of the vehicle, marched up the stairs and burst through the door like they were ready to start a fight. It was surprisingly calm. Other than receptionists who were aggressively typing away files, the whole room seemed quiet.

"Can I help you?" A man from behind the counter looked Rose straight in the eye and she headed up to him.

"Yes, actually." She swallowed the lump in her throat. This was the moment of truth. "I know I am quite late, but I thought it was best to wait until you had the complete survivors list. I was wondering if you mind have any information on Jack Dawson?"

"Are you family?"

"Yes. I am his fiancee." Rose mumbled.

"All right, let me see what I can do for you." He stood up, headed towards the back and quickly got back with a piece of paper. "Dawson it was, miss?"

"Yes. Jack Dawson."

With his eyes, he followed as his finger traced down the document, not once, but even three times. Then he stopped, looked at Rose once again and took off his glasses.

"I am sorry, miss, but here is no Jack Dawson on this list I'm afraid. We've collected everyone's name."

She pulled Cora closer to her body and wrapped her arms around her chest. "What does that mean?" The words that came out of her mouth were impossible to hear, but the man sighed and now also took off his hat.

"I am very sorry, miss. It unfortunately means that Mr. Dawson has gone down with the ship."

Four days later

The headache hadn't gone away. In fact, the more time passed the worse it got. She was crawled up like a baby, her arms wrapped around her knees and she had pulled her duvet all over her so no one could see her. Rose had forgotten how she ended up here, but it had taken quite a few people to get her back into reality.

Mr Dawson had gone down with the ship. The words still cut through her soul like a knife and she could taste the salt of fresh tears on her lips. After the man had told her the harsh yet bitter truth, Rose collapsed onto the floor without saying a word and later woke up in her bed in the hotel room. It couldn't be true, it simply was impossible. How could a man like him, a survivor, lose his life this way. He had pushed them both through the horrors they had to face, lead them through the impossible. They were going to make it, he had promised her. A sudden rush of rage moved through and she screamed inside her pillow, followed by a stream of tears. She could feel the blanket being pulled off her and the hands of Elizabeth were placed on her shoulders, trying to pull her up.

"Rose," She said, "Rose, darling. Please look at me."

No response.

"Rose, I want you to drink some water, all right? You are only going to hurt yourself more when you don't even take a tiny sip of water."

She suddenly looked at Elizabeth, her eyes red and puffy. Her whole body ached as if she was going to get the flu any minute. Elizabeth helped her sit up straight and and put the glass towards her lips. "Good girl." She smiled as she watched her swallow a bit of the liquid.

"I am going to run you a bath now, all right?"

She shook her head and was about the lie down again, yet Elizabeth stopped her. "Rose, I am not going to say anything remotely sentimental to try to take your pain away because I know it won't help and you'll despise me for it, but I am going to try to get you back to earth. You have to move on, you have to take care of yourself and most importantly Cora, because you promised her father. Staying locked inside of this room won't make him come back. In fact, nothing will. He is gone, Rose and you have to focus on you."

"I don't even think I can move on without him." Rose croaked.

"Of course you can. And I know that because I have come to know you to be a strong young woman. Look how you took charge of the situation with Cora, look how you kept yourself out of Hockley's way. You behold such a power within yourself, Rose, and within time you will start to see that yourself. But you have to move, stand up straight. Even though I have never met Jack, I strongly believe that he wouldn't want you to waste away your life grieving him."

"It's just that...I feel, oh for fuck sake I can't even talk properly." She groaned and lifted her arms up in the air in frustration.

"Take your time." Elizabeth reassured her.

"It's just that I have this feeling like it should have been me! I was the one who was done with this world of mine. I was the the one who wanted to die! Jack was so full of life, it's just not fair!"

"Then maybe this is a good opportunity to continue just that. Live for him, Rose. Carry him inside your heart and take him anywhere with you as you can now explore life as a free woman. You have all the power right in the palm of your hands."

Rose shrugged her shoulders. "And how am I going to do that? How am I going to take care of Cora when I have nothing? I was brought up in a world where everything was done for me. I know nothing of the real world."

"Then I might have the perfect Idea." Elizabeth smiled.