The Evolution Of A New Persona
"I can't do it, Rose." Cora cried and stood trembling on the side. Rose, who was already in the water to cool herself down, smiled and reached out her hands. They had often come to the brook together to escape the extreme summer heat. Thus far, Cora had only bated her feet on the edge and simply watched how Rose swam her way around. She never had the opportunity to learn how to swim, nor both her parents were able to teach her. Growing up between the smouldering mills of Manchester, it simply was not needed to learn such a skill. She took a deep breath, listened the Rose's encouraging words and stepped in until the water came up to her knees.
"Well done, darling." Rose laughed and clapped her hands, "Now slowly move forward. I am going to catch you, all right? You trust me?"
The little girl nodded her head. She had more trust in Rose than she could express in words. She was the one who had brought her to safety and stood along her side all of this time. She was the only one who hadn't left her. Again, she took the deepest of breaths as if she was about to go under. Letting herself being taken by the current, she dropped her weight down and surrendered herself to the powers of the earth. As the water splashed up from her ears, she felt a pair of hands grabbing her from beneath her armpits and lifting her up. She met two kind emerald green eyes who reassured her she was safe.
"I've got you, I've got you. I won't let go."
A giggle escaped both their lips and Cora looked around her to come to the realisation she was quite far up in the water. She finally felt cool, as if her body was sizzling. Leaning her small and frail body against Rose's she was being taken to the waterfall where she was being put on top of a rock. It was loud and she was unable to hear what Rose was saying to her. Crawling up she dipped her head under and screamed whilst being unable to keep in her laughter. Rose leaned back and simply watched the girl and her happiness. She felt lucky about how much their bond had become stronger and she couldn't imagine a life without her no more. It was a beautiful thing to see unfold, it was an extraordinary thing to feel. Rose had found a purpose, and it almost shocked her how much Cora had started to feel like she was her real family, as if they shared the same blood. She, in fact, started to love her.
The other night, as Rose was tormented by another episode of insomnia, she tiptoed downstairs and sat down in the swinging chair on the porch. Looking up, the stars had never looked so bright, it felt overwhelming. It didn't take long for the sound of the front door to keep her from dozing off into the figments of her imagination. Cora peaked her head around the corner and quickly crawled up the seat herself. The two girls just looked up, feeling at ease with each other's company until the brown haired girl's thick English accent was heard.
"My mummy says that all those sparkles in the sky are people we love watching over us. Because everyone has to move one day and then they move in the sky and watch over those who still have to stay here."
Rose was mesmerised by her words and she could feel a lump form in her throat. "Yes," she chocked slightly, "Your mommy is absolutely right."
"And the biggest sparkle is God, but we can't see him. But he watches over everyone and everything. Even the people in the sky."
Every time you saw one it was a soul going to heaven. Were they being watched or looked over? Were they being guided to their destiny? For Rose, the universe was a concept beyond the imaginable. There were wonders happening beyond anyone's reach. It had the world in the palm of its hands and the only thing humans could do was submit to it. The expansion of knowledge had lingered within her from a young age. After her daily lessons of French, history and etiquette, it was the philosophy, psychology and science that triggered her. Sneaking into her father's library, young Rose knew exactly what to look for. It would be the death of her if her parents found out. In no way she was allowed expand her horizon. She had to remain put. Like a statue she was alive to be admired or even to be criticised. Her mouth was being shut if she even wanted to say a thing. The first time she danced with Cal on a cold day in January, he had circled around her for a good while, inspecting every bump, crease and smooth service of her physique. Then he stopped, nodded and smiled brightly to himself. Her mother stood in the corner of the room and she could feel her eyes burning on the scene that was unfolding in front of her. Never had she felt so humiliated in her life. She was still wearing black because of her father's death, the silk fabric wrapping tightly around her body. She couldn't breathe and his presence made her sick to her stomach. Then he put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer towards him. And there it was, the darkness which had surrounded her being. She was locked up inside a nightmare, impossible to awake back into reality until her eyes met his in the far distance. A warmth washed over her and she could feel her feet again. It traveled back up due to his majestic gaze and for the first time in a while, she noticed she was alive again.
A beam of sunlight peeked from behind the trees. Cora squinted her eyes and like a bird who had taken in its wings, she dropped herself down, back into Rose's arms. Time seemed to stand still. It was only the sound of the moving water that showed the continuity of life. Like swans, the girls moved around gracefully. Spreading their wings by simply accepting the road the universe put them on. Rose kissed the top of Cora's head as they positioned themselves back on to the horse. The road back was almost as dreadful as their trip towards the brook. The heat of the sun felt piercing on their skins and despite wearing a hat, Rose had the sensation she was turning as red as a lobster. She loved the summer, but one like this was something she had never experienced before. Her curls, which hang loosely over her shoulder had turned into wilderness itself and it was almost impossible to comb through. Every step left a trace of sweat running down every crease of her body.
"Come Josephine in my flying machine and it's up she goes. Up she goes." Rose hummed softly into her ear. Cora leaned her head against Rose's chest and closed her eyes. The gentle swaying motion of the horse almost brought her into a peaceful slumber. Rose kissed the top of her head and kept singing softly until they reached the ranch. Benjamin came rushing towards the gate and waved his hands in the air. Rose laughed at the boy and greeted him happily. As weeks passed, the two of them had created a strong bond. He was a lonely boy. The youngest of eight children, no one in his family looked after him. He had parented himself, scanning every grown up in town to make out how a person behaved. One night, Rose found him inside the stables, leaning his head against the wall and trying to keep himself steady. Next to his almost unconscious body, laid a bottle of scotch and she could see he had been crying through his closed eyes. The boy was lonely and simply wanted to be loved, a feeling Rose knew herself a bit too well. Why was kindness such a difficult emotion for people to pursue? Why did the kindest souls have to suffer the most? The next day, Rose wrote her weekly letter to Elizabeth, who was still hidden away within the woods of Scotland. She asked or basically begged for Benjamin to be taken care of. To her luck, Elizabeth allowed the boy to sleep inside the spare guest room. My house is too big for anyone to feel left out. She had written back. As days passed, the boy flourished into the being of a child again and filled the house with even more spirit and joy.
"We got a big surprise for you, miss Rose." He yelled as he approached the two girls. He helped Cora off the horse and walked with them towards the stables.
"What on earth can that be?" Rose asked him. She put her hat and gloves onto the wooden shelf and unsaddled the horse before following the boy inside. He laughed to himself, shot up the porch and burst through the door. Cora, as curious as she could be, ran after him. Rose sighed and groaned slightly of the never ending flash of hotness that had overtaken her body. Luckily, the house was much cooler than expected and she could finally catch her breath once she stepped inside. There were multiple voices coming from the kitchen. Mabel was speaking to what sounded like an English woman. Peeking her head around the corner, Rose gasped and a bright smile appeared on her face. Their reunion was sweet and joyful as their time apart had felt for so long.
"I didn't expect you yet. I thought you would come back in September." Rose sat down next to Mabel who had poured her a glass of fresh made lemonade. Taking a sip, she let the refreshing drink calm her body down. Elizabeth reached out her hand across the table and took Rose's. Squeezing it she nodded her head. "That was the intention, but I am afraid to admit that I got a little homesick. After I received your letter about Ben, the only thing I could do was picture you all sitting by the fireplace and having a jolly time. Besides, I have been promising to take Vivian with me to The States for ages."
Vivian Jones, a plump young woman with the same fiery hair as Rose, had traveled along side Elizabeth to admire her rural life. She grew up in London, the daughter of a lawyer and had a great knowledge of the world thanks to her father. The two met when Elizabeth went to Scotland for the first time and, despite the usual distance between them, they seemed inseparable. Her face was plastered in small dainty freckles and her cheeks were burning. Vivian had this radiant personality which lit up every room within a second. Rose envied her in some way. The carelessness that came so natural to her was something Rose had to train. Her eyes were glistening, full of life. She recognised that gaze too well and a lump formed in her throat. How she missed his sparkle.
The two travellers spoke about their adventures and everyone listened to their chronicles full heartedly. Scotland sounded more like a fairytale rather than a country. You could ride around for hours without meeting anyone other than the ever changing landscapes. The wild animals came by once in a while to remind those foreigners whom the land really belonged to.
"Anyway," Elizabeth then said, "What have I missed over here?"
"Other than the excruciating heat, nothing much." Rose didn't really know how to answer the question. Her days were filled with lessons on how to run a household. Cleaning, cooking, making sure the children were alright. She was save and sound behind the gates of the farm with an occasional trip to town where she had only met a handful of people. Her activities mostly happened within her imagination. The adventures she went on, discovering every creak and corner the world had to offer. But on the other hand, she was content with the simplicity of it all. She could just be and carry on with anything. There were no eyes spying on her every move or correcting the words she spoke. Rose was just Rose. Mabel poured her another glass of refreshment and placed a gentle hand on her lap. The lady had asked Benjamin to take Cora out and as they left the kitchen, she stood up and opened one of the kitchen drawers. She took a small piece of paper and placed it on the table. Rose raised her eyebrow, took it and inspected it thoroughly. It was all of Cora's information. Her name, date and place of birth as well as her parents' names.
"I found it in the pocket of her dress." Mabel informed Rose. The document wasn't completely in tact anymore because of the water damage, but you could clearly see it was her birth certificate. It was a smart move of her folks incase they would lose her and she needed to be identified. Rose thanked her and wanted to fold the piece of paper back up, but Mabel stopped her and pointed at her birthday.
"August 15th 1906," Rose then looked up and came to the realisation, "But that is next Thursday. She turns six next week." The women all looked at each other with the same thought in mind. All though the girl had no indication of time she couldn't let it go unnoticed. Rose looked over Vivian's shoulder into the kitchen, where she watched how Cora jumped on Benjamin's back and he carried her around the room. Their laughter sounded like the sweetest melody and Rose could feel her stomach flutter. The following days where packed with secrets and planning. It was a good opportunity for Rose to show her cooking skills. Every night before bed she'd flip through Elizabeth's old cookbooks and wrote down anything that looked both delicious and easy to make. She wanted it to be perfect. She wanted to show the others that she was capable of doing even the easiest task all by herself. Facing another day of heat, she had put her hair in a high bun and dressed herself in a light cotton tea dress before heading out to the stables. Benjamin had already prepared the carriage and stepped inside himself. Even he wanted to feel practical. He could sense her nervousness and kindly reassured her. "Don't worry, miss Rose. Cora will love the surprise."
"I hope you are right. If you must know, I am not that experienced in running a household and all the chores that come with that. I just want her to be happy."
Benjamin laughed loudly and again, lit himself a smoke. "You are too hard on yourself, miss Rose. Look at what you are doing for her. Look at what you have done for me. I could never thank you enough for getting me away from my family." As he spoke the words out loud, she wished someone had done that for her too when she was younger. To be taken care of with love was the heart's greatest desire. She breathed in deeply and looked at him. Perhaps he was right. Maybe she was doing a better job than she thought. As they drove into town it was busier than usual. She had gone to the market a few times together with Mabel, but the streets were a lot less crowded than at this moment. She waited patiently as Benjamin fastened the horses and scanned her shopping list until the ink of the letters had become one with the color of the paper. Then, he took her by the arm like a true gentleman and escorted her through the crowds. During the past weeks, her face had become recognizable among the locals. There had been talks, of course, but due to her discrete behavior they soon faded away. Small places always wanted something interesting to let their minds wonder about, yet she was used to a life of much worse accusations. She had been a laughing stock, once, when she was thirteen for helping an older black woman carry a few heavy bags. Her own people then called her a filth and disgrace. Unfortunately, this wasn't the only time she had been the main character of gossip.
"Are you going to feed the orphanage, miss Cartmell?" She heard someone speak behind her. Turning around, she faced Mrs. Wilson who was an old friend of Elizabeth. Rose looked down at her basket which was filled to the brim. She grinned and scratched the back of her neck. "It is a bit too much, isn't it?"
"What is it for?"
"My cousin Cora's birthday. She turns six tomorrow."
"Oh how nice." She smiled and pulled her baby closer to her chest, "Wish her a happy birthday from me."
"Listen," Rose then said out of the blue, "I know we aren't that well acquainted, but would you and your children like to come tomorrow? Elizabeth has also returned and I have enough food to feed the whole state for that matter."
Satisfied, she placed her baskets on the top of the counter. It was as if a boost of confidence was running through her bloodstream. Putting everything in the right place, she heard a soft chuckle coming from behind her. Rose shrieked and grabbed her chest.
"I am so sorry," Vivian stood up from her seat, "I didn't mean to frighten you. I was just admiring your dreamlike state. I could hear you singing from outside."
Rose, embarrassed by her own behavior, looked down at her feet and straightened her skirt. "You have a lovely voice." Vivian quickly added and offered her a cup of tea. They were alone in the silence of the kitchen with nothing but the sound of a ticking clock keeping them company. There was a book in the middle of the table, surrounded by several written notes. Vivian put it away and apologized again.
"Don't be sorry, please. I am always interested in what others are studying." Rose took a big sip of her drink. It hurt her tongue.
"It is nothing that would interest you anyway I am afraid. It belonged to my grandmother and is filled with old rituals and concoctions etcetera."
"So you are what they used to call a healer?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "It is more of like a hobby," Rose could feel her eyes glued onto her as if she was scanning her soul. It was an intimate yet intrusive feeling. It became rather awkwards as the seconds passed on. "It might be a strange question, but may I read your palm? If I might be so rude, miss Cartmell. you've intrigued me the moment you stepped into the room and I've been curious if my predictions are right."
Hesitant at first, she slowly moved her hand up and let it be taken. Vivian's fingers were soft and delicate as they traced over her engraved lines. She nodded her head. "Just like I thought. Most of your lines are broken as if everything is going to turn the whole other way. Like your fate line, it is completely split in two. It can mean you might get really rich some day," She laughed and continued her speech, "Your lifeline is the only continues line and it is long, which is good. It means good health and prosperity. But there is something hovering over you, like an invisible power. Here, your loveline is split into three, but your second part of that line has another line attached to it. You're an interesting person, miss Cartmell. I have never seen such variety in one's reading."
Rose quickly pulled back her hand and tried to ignore the knot which had formed in her stomach. "Thank you for that fine analysis, miss Jones, but I believe I need to start to prepare for tomorrow."