Halfway through the AO3-written chapters, and I'm already cursing FanFiction's inability to import horizontal lines. Knowing that the next chapter is 13K words with eight separate scene transitions already has me wincing as I type this.
Hello Clarice/Sergeant Bartfort's Lonely Hearts Club
Livia sighed happily as she walked to the washroom to freshen up before meeting up with Leon and Angelica for tea again. Their first tea party had been truly lovely, and Angelica had met up with them every day since then. Livia could still see some traces of sadness in Angelica's eyes, but everytime she left Leon's tea room, her heart seemed a little less burdened than it was before. Leon always had such wonderful stories about the Ones Who Came Before and what he'd learned from exploring the ruins of their culture; tales of valor and chivalry, stories of romance and true love, and legends of wonders before the 'Age of Magic', as he and Luxy called it. Livia almost regretted that classes had resumed since they now had other responsibilities besides listening to Leon talk about an ancient world, and it wasn't just to listen to the stories that Leon never seemed to run out of.
Angelica absolutely adored the stories Leon told, and Livia loved to watch the way her eyes lit up with every word as though she were a child in a sweet shop. She'd bounce between being spellbound by the stories and asking a stream of endless questions, to which Leon seldom ran short of answers. Of course, their tea parties weren't always Leon telling stories. Angelica had also taken it upon herself to mentor Livia in the intricacies of noble etiquette that she would need in her three years at the Academy, and Livia loved to discuss magic theory with Angelica and Leon, particularly when Leon had a "scientific" insight into the subject.
Livia once again smiled and blushed as she thought about her friend, the rural Baron that helped her from the floor with a smile. Having known him for a few months now, Livia had to say that Leon truly excelled at helping people through their troubles. He could read both of them like books, and he always seemed to know just the right thing to say in order to help. He did have a particular fondness for teasing both of them shamelessly, but he never pushed it too far. In fact, Livia noticed that he would often tease Angelica in order to stop her from thinking down a self-deprecating line of thought or to distract her from her malaise about the Prince. Of course, there were still plenty of times that he teased them both just for the sake of teasing them.
Livia could feel her face start to heat up as Leon's comment before the midterm exam came back to her. "Who said I was just teasing you?" he'd said. Prior to that, he'd obviously been teasing Angie to distract her, but there wasn't a reason to distract Livia at that moment, so why had he? If she took that comment at face value, it was a very bold declaration of intent, but it was just like all the other times he'd teased her, wasn't it? He was just doing to get a blush out of her, wasn't he? He wasn't actually interested in her, was he? It's not like he was brutally honest to a fault…
Livia groaned to herself in embarrassment as she tried to banish the blush from her face. She did not need to walk into Leon's tea room glowing like a lantern. She blinked as she heard a sniffle and stifled sob. It was faint, but Livia could hear the sounds of stifled sobs from somewhere behind her.
"Hello?" asked Livia suddenly. "Is someone there?"
"...Please don't mind me," a girl sobbed from one of the stalls before regaining a small measure of composure. "I'll be fine in a moment. It's just… some days are harder to deal with than others…"
"Oh dear, are you alright?" asked Livia through the stall door. "Are you hurt? I can heal you if you're injured?"
"...Can you heal a broken heart?" asked the girl with a bitter laugh. "Can you fix this emptiness I feel? Can you restore hope when hope is gone?"
"...No, not with magic," replied Livia sadly.
"...I didn't think that you could, but thank you for taking the time to care..." whispered the girl. "Before you go...Do you believe in destined love?"
"...I can't say that I've given it much thought," replied Livia as she leaned against the wall. "I know nothing about love other than what I've been told, but if 'destined love' is anything like destiny itself, I'd say that the road to it would hardly be straightforward."
"...I suppose you're right," sighed the girl. "...Thanks again for your kindness…"
"...Magic may not be able to help, but I refuse to give up," replied Livia resolutely, casting a quick spell on the lock and opening the stall to find a third year with ginger hair and green eyes. "Forgive my forwardness, but I may have an idea that could help."
"Wait, I thought you said you knew nothing about love?" asked the girl in confusion.
"I don't, but I've been in an empty and hopeless situation before, and I remember what pulled me out of it," replied Livia as she took the girl's hand. "Let's get a cup of tea…"
"Your suspicions were correct, Master," reported Luxion. "Marie has already proceeded through most of the Second Year story events for all routes, and she's nearly approached the point of The Honor Duel event. The only flag that she's missing is the Prince confronting Angelica about her Followers bullying Marie."
I simply rested my head in my hands and groaned. Luxion's report was not encouraging in the slightest. Granted, none of what he said was anything beyond what I had already suspected, but still…
"...Can I just say that I really hate being right, Lux?" I sighed as I leaned back in my chair and tried to fight back the oncoming migraine.
"Is it truly such a bad thing that the events have accelerated?" asked Luxion.
"You know that three year timeline I gave you?" I replied. "That was entirely based on the romance flags of the Five. And if I were to equate this to the game, Julius and his friends are still rocking all of their starting stats and gear."
"...So 'cataclysmic' then…" replied Luxion gravely. "How shall we proceed?"
"I don't want any backlash coming onto Angelica for this, so as diplomatically as we can," I replied after a moment of consideration. "Let's send a request to meet with Marie tonight. Don't sign it with my name, but use a Mythosaur skull instead. If anyone else sees it, they won't be able to connect it directly back to me, but Marie won't have any doubts on who it was from."
"And the contents of said message?" asked Luxion.
"Tell her that we need to discuss the Endgame and to meet me in the Library at nine this evening. Study Room Four," I dictated. "Tell her that I'm willing to help her with her goals, but we need to consider the future."
"Of course," replied Luxion. "I take it that you shall be adjourning your usual seduction attempts early today?"
"Seduction attempts- Luxion, you know damn well that's not the point of that!" I argued. "This is just to help Angelica work through her emotions and give her a place to vent where her Followers won't be involved!"
"You know that's not the whole truth," replied Luxion flatly. "You indicated an attraction to both of them even before you said more than a few dozen words to each other, and those feelings can only have grown since then. Or do I need to play back the audio logs of key moments?"
"...Lux, I'm not denying that I am attracted to them, but their well-being and happiness need to come before my own feelings," I sighed. "Besides, we've got bigger fish to fry at the moment excluding matters of the heart."
"I was under the impression that the fate of this world depends on 'matters of the heart'," snarked Luxion.
"It also depends on not accelerating to the Bad Ending without any sort of preparation," I argued. "You may be powerful, Lux, but even you flinched at a world-ending ancient magic monster. We need more time just to get Livia into fighting shape, to say nothing of finding someone she falls in love with."
"If you say so, Master," replied Luxion, unconvinced. "I shall deliver this letter immediately, then. Enjoy your 'Not-Intended-Seduction' of your two companions…"
I simply responded with a lazy middle finger, too preoccupied with concern to properly rebuke the AI. Besides, while I did think he was off the mark with Livia and Angelica's feelings, he wasn't that far off with respect to my own. Livia was the Protagonist of the game for a reason, and any attempt to resist her charms was proving futile. I'd never planned to become involved with her as much as I had, and even though I wouldn't have done it any other way, Livia deserved someone far better than someone who considers being called a "scoundrel" a compliment.
My feelings for Angelica were very similar, even though I had planned to intervene at some point on her behalf. In actuality, Angelica was as far from the traditional image of a Villainess as one could possibly be. Her only real flaws were her quick temper and her impulsiveness, but in spite of those she was kind, passionate, caring, and fiercely loyal. The only thing that stopped me from actually courting her in earnest was the fact that she also deserved a far better man as well and her heart was still taken by the Prince. I was sure that any marriage to me would simply be one of convenience. Besides, any woman that I was going to marry and have children with would need to know about my situation as a Reincarnate, and I was certain that they'd feel betrayed the moment that they learned about it. Still, it was all a moot point since they couldn't possibly feel that way for a background Mob character, right?
I blinked as a knock at the door to my tea room disturbed me from my thoughts, smiling as I prepared to tease Livia with being late. I straightened my collar and brushed the wrinkles out of my uniform before opening the door with a wide grin.
"My, Livia, I was beginning to wonder if I was going to need to ask Miss Angelica to go find you- oh…" I began before catching sight of Livia's expression and the young woman accompanying her. "Oh dear…"
"I'm sorry to impose on you, Leon, but I couldn't just leave her where she was," apologized Livia. "You were the first person I thought of-"
"No, no, you did well, Livia," I reassured Livia as I motioned for her to bring our unexpected guest in. "Please take a seat at the table while I prepare another cup of tea."
With that, Livia nodded gratefully as she escorted the distraught girl to the table as I went to fetch another chair and place setting. She was a third year at the academy, based on her age, and I couldn't help but feel that she was familiar for some reason. Then again, I'd had a thing for ginger-haired girls and redheads with green eyes in my previous life, so that may have just been my first life's fantasies playing tricks on me. And I could tell that she was quite the beauty, even in spite of the fact that her eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying and her makeup had smeared. A cynical part of my mind said that I was going to get in trouble if I kept helping pretty girls with sadness in their hearts. The larger part of my mind immediately told it to shut up because there was a pretty girl with sadness in her heart that needed help, so I went ahead and prepared a different blend of tea in a smaller pot before returning to the table.
"Here, drink this, it'll help," I offered, pouring a cup of tea from the smaller pot for the unnamed lady. "It's a mint tea, so it's good for stress-"
"Belmont Blend Three, yes?" replied the girl quietly. "A friend of mine recommended it recently. She's become quite the fan as of late, but I suppose that's true of most noble women these days."
"So I've heard recently as well," I chuckled ruefully, remembering Angelica's earlier rant from a few weeks ago. "I'm terribly sorry, where are my manners? Leon Fou Bartfort, at your service."
"Clarice Fia Atlee," replied the girl quietly. "And no apologies are necessary. Honestly, it was quite rude of me to barge in on your gathering."
"Not at all," I replied, hesitating for only a moment as I processed who exactly was seated before me before smiling gently. "Livia would never have forgiven me if I had turned you away, nor would I have forgiven myself. Please excuse me for a moment while I have my Familiar contact the other guest and inform them of the change in plans as I can't imagine that you would want to have more strange faces around at this moment."
"...Thank you, Sir Bartfort," whispered Clarice with a tearful smile that broke my heart to see.
With that, I briefly turned away from Clarice Fia Atlee, fiancée to Jilk Fia Marmoria and one of the other romantic rivals from the game as Livia proceeded to fuss over her. Internally, I cursed myself for my short-sightedness. Of course the other rival girls were thinking and feeling people in this world as well! Of course Marie's actions with the Love Interests were going to affect them as well! I should have at least had Luxion keep an eye on them!
"Luxion," I summoned, trying to keep my voice even.
"Yes, Master? Is there something else you need before you attempt to seduce the-'' replied Luxion as he shimmered into view, stopping when he took in the new girl with us. "...This is not the other girl you were going to seduce…"
"How observant, Luxion," I sniped back, thoroughly annoyed. "And please note that I have never done anything untoward to Miss Olivia or Miss Angelica, and never will do anything untoward to them. Now, will you take a message to Miss Angelica requesting a rain check, or have I not made myself clear-"
"Wait a moment, do you mean Angelica Rapha Redgrave?" asked Clarice suddenly.
"Yes, how do you-" I began before freezing for a moment and facepalming. "...Of course you know each other. Your fiancés have been best friends for years…"
"She's actually the friend that I mentioned earlier, the one who loves the Belmont Tea Company," explained Clarice, smiling as she thought of her friend. "We'd drifted apart for a few years, but recently reconnected when we ran into each other at Belmont Tea Company's release of Blend Five. …Actually, could you still invite her? If the rumors I've been hearing are true, then she could be having a tougher time than I am right now…"
"...That you think of her even in the depths of your own despair speaks well of you, Lady Atlee," I smiled warmly. "Luxion, please explain the recent events to Miss Angelica and request that she arrives post-haste. A friend needs her help."
"And that would be before or after the other letter is delivered?" asked Luxion.
"Before," I clarified. "As time sensitive as the other letter is, I would say informing Miss Angelica would be even more time sensitive."
"As you command, Master," replied Luxion as he buzzed away to inform Angelica.
"...Thank you, Sir Bartfort," smiled Clarice weakly. "I am truly in your debt…"
"Please, Lady Atlee, friends don't keep score like that," I chuckled.
"...They also don't refer to each other so formally, 'Sir Bartfort'," replied Clarice, her tone becoming slightly teasing as she began to smile genuinely for the first time.
"Touché, so you may refer to me as 'Leon', then," I grinned as I poured myself a cup of tea from the larger pot of Earl Grey. "But what shall I call you if 'Miss Atlee' is too formal for a friend?"
"I suppose 'Clarice' will do for now," grinned Clarice as she took another sip of her tea before a devious glint flashed in her eye. "So why did your Familiar believe that I was at risk of being seduced alongside Miss Olivia?"
"Dammit…" I swore briefly, my hopes of avoiding this particular conversation dashed. "Please don't listen to Luxion. He's just a little cranky that I've kept him busy, and so he's trying to get back at me."
"Still, there has to be a grain of truth to his accusations?" smirked Clarice.
"I'm afraid that for all his truly wonderful qualities, Leon is a terrible flirt and loves to see young women blush," answered Livia with a grin as she drank from her own cup of Earl Grey. "In spite of that, he's a far better man than he gives himself credit for, and he truly hasn't done anything improper with myself or Miss Angelica."
"Oh gods above…" I groaned as Clarice laughed lightly.
"And here I was hoping for a mind-blowing tumble in the sheets to drown my sorrow," teased Clarice, winking at me as she took another sip of tea. "Well, I'm glad to hear that your fiancé is a good man-"
I sprayed my tea in a fine mist as I proceeded to choke on my most recent sip. Livia turned a brilliant red before shyly hiding her face in her hands and squeaking, unable to form words. Clarice immediately moved to help me, her earlier teasing smile immediately replaced with genuine concern before I gave her a thumbs up to let her know I was okay.
"Forgive me, I didn't mean to assume," apologized Clarice.
"No apologies necessary," I choked out, clearing my throat. "And I'm sure that's probably how we appear, but I assure you that Livia and I are merely good friends at this point."
"…'At this point'?" noted Clarice, raising an eyebrow while Livia squeaked again.
"Livia is a truly lovely young woman, and I won't be so naïve to not acknowledge that things may develop further between us, but until such a development occurs, we are just good friends that occasionally flirt with each other," I explained. "…Well, more like 'I flirt with her', since she has yet to try and flirt back…"
"Leon…" whined Livia, peeking out from behind her fingers.
"Is she always this adorable?" asked Clarice as she giggled at Livia's embarrassed expression.
"Pretty much," I grinned.
"…Truly, thank you both for your kindness," sighed Clarice. "I only wish I could continue to ignore what brought me here in the first place…"
"I mean, you could continue to pretend for a while longer, if you're not feeling up to it?" I suggested. "At least until Angelica arrives?"
"…Would that be okay?" asked Clarice softly. "…Just to pretend? Just for a little while longer?"
"…Of course…" I smiled warmly. "Did you know that I taught Olivia how to shoot a rifle just a few weeks ago? She can now shoot an acorn out of a tree at a hundred yards, so you would never guess that she knocked herself over the first time she fired a rifle. Landed right on top of me, too…"
"Leon!" yelped Livia as Clarice laughed.
"Must have been nice to have a cute girl land directly in your lap," smirked Clarice.
"Miss Clarice!" squealed Livia as I laughed in turn.
I will admit that Angelica's arrival caught us quite off guard when she practically kicked the door in ten minutes later. The blonde woman skidded into the room, breathing like she'd sprinted halfway across campus, which she probably did. Her ample bosom heaved as she tried to catch her breath, and it took a Herculean effort to avoid being mesmerized by the sight. I stood up and helped Angelica to her seat and poured a cup of tea for her.
"…I came as soon as I heard…" explained Angelica as she finally caught her breath. "What's happened, Clarice?"
"…It's Jilk, Angie…" choked Clarice. "…He's been seeing another woman and he refuses to explain or even talk to me…"
"Oh Clarice…" sighed Angelica, embracing Clarice as she broke down into sobs.
"I just don't know what I could've done to upset him!" sobbed Clarice. "I've tried to be supportive and caring, but I had to have done something wrong-"
"Nope," I interrupted, taking a sip of my tea.
I finished my sip of tea before realizing that if I didn't explain myself further, Livia and Angelica were liable to tear me apart.
"That entire premise is completely wrong, Clarice," I explained, raising a placating hand to Livia and Angelica. "You assume that Jilk is completely without fault in this, when that couldn't be further from the truth. Tell me, you've attempted to reach out to him to talk about this, yes?"
Clarice nodded, apparently not trusting her voice enough to speak.
"Has he told you that you've done something wrong, whether intentionally or unintentionally on your part?" I asked.
Again, Clarice shook her head.
"Have you intentionally done something to offend or cause harm?"
"No! I'd never-" protested Clarice quickly.
"-Then you've done everything you can possibly do to resolve this, even if it was your fault," I interrupted. "And I seriously doubt that you are at fault to begin with."
"…Leon Fou Bartfort, how are you not already engaged?" asked Clarice, sniffling slightly as she dried her eyes some more.
"That's an entirely different matter, but let's just say that I can count on one hand the number of ladies that would interest me," I chuckled. "And two of them are already engaged…"
Clarice didn't say anything, but she smiled even as tears streamed down her face. Jilk was a damn fool. Julius as well. If I could find someone even half as wonderful as any of the girls seated at this table…
"Why is this happening to you two?" asked Livia dejectedly. "It's just too cruel…"
"Gods above, Angie, we've been so wrapped up in how I'm feeling that you haven't even been able to say a word yet," sniffled Clarice. "I should have asked you when you first arrived, and here I am just bitching away…"
"Oi, you stop that," I piped in gently. "We're all getting the trauma off our chests, so there will be none of that kind of talk…"
"...Alright, fair enough, Leon, but Angie still should have her say," conceded Clarice.
"...I mean, what's there to say?" sighed Angelica. "The Prince has never been as close as I would wish for him to be, and now that harlot is pulling him farther away from me…"
"I know that things were bad during the midterm, but have things really gotten that much worse that quickly?" I asked.
"...It appears that some of my Followers have decided to make their opinions of the trollop known, and have taken to bullying the girl further…" sighed Angelica. "I asked Carmen and Ariel about the matter, but they've no idea who could have broken ranks. Regardless, the Prince has chastised me for their actions, and made it clear that any further actions will be my responsibility as well."
"But that's not fair!" protested Livia, even as I quietly grimaced at the last remaining flag before the Duel being tripped.
"It's the way that it is…" sighed Angelica. "...All I ever wanted was to be a good fiancee to him, but every effort I have made has been lacking from the start, to the point that some random woman can draw his gaze away without any effort at all…I must be a failure of a woman-"
"Nope," I replied simply, cutting Angelica off. "Just like Clarice, you've not taken Julius's part into account when considering blame. Your only 'crime' would be that you've not had a heart to heart with him and spoken to him as Julius rather than the Prince, and that can be considered just as much his fault for not communicating that to you."
"Wait, what do you mean 'spoken to him as Julius rather than the Prince'?" asked Angelica in confusion. "Aren't they one and the same?"
"Not quite, from what I know," I explained, elaborating further. "Here, let me give an example: What's Julius' favorite food?"
"He's quite fond of a fish dish that the Seberg house-" recited Angelica.
"That's what the Prince likes," I interrupted. "Julius likes to buy cheap meat skewers from street vendors when he sneaks out of the palace."
"Wait, how'd you know that when Angie-" asked Clarice.
"Oh, that's easy: I grilled up some teriyaki skewers on the Common Grounds during the first week, and then encouraged him to try taking up cooking," I grinned.
"You absolute dog!" laughed Clarice. "Do you know how many weeks Angie spent buried in paperwork for that mess?!"
"...I make no apologies for teriyaki, but I will for inconveniencing Angelica," I replied, getting a small laugh from Angelica. "I will endeavor to be much more subtle going forward."
"...Still, why wouldn't he-" whispered Angelica, her face falling as her thoughts turned back to the Prince.
"And here's where he's at fault: He should have told you," I explained. "He should have tried to reach out and talk to you as Julius, not just as the Prince. Tell me, if you'd known what he'd truly desired, would you not have smuggled 'commoner foods' for him to try? Would you have continued to address him by his title when you were alone? Would you have still treated him the same way? Or would you have become a very different woman?"
"...I don't know that I could have," sighed Angelica.
"You'd have done it, Angelica," I replied. "Of that, I have little doubt. I know I've only known you for a very short time, but I can see your confidence and determination as plain as day. When you set your mind to something, it's done."
"...Gods above, what was the point?" sniffled Angelica, tears finally beginning to stream down her face. "I fell in love with a man who never existed, and shaped everything about myself to be the perfect wife for him, becoming the embodiment of everything he hates. All just wasted effort…"
"Angelica, you are the most passionate and dedicated woman I know," I interrupted. "You rise to whatever challenge that is placed before you without complaint or hesitation and you truly care for the people around you. Before I met you, I was content with settling for a wife that was the least unpleasant of our peers and living in the countryside with a mistress that I'd consider to be my true wife. You've irrevocably set the standard for any woman that I would consider for a wife from the nobility. If you consider that to be 'wasted effort', then I'm afraid I have some rather stern words for you."
"…Leon, hasn't Livia told you to stop flirting so much?" chided Angelica without any heat.
"Who said anything about flirting?" I argued with a grin. "I'm just telling it like it is."
"…One of these days, a girl is going to believe the wonderful things you say," smiled Angelica tearfully. "She's going to fall hopelessly in love with you, so you better stay true to what you say."
"May I be struck down where I stand if I don't," I grinned back at Angelica.
Angelica laughed gently, and I basked in the dulcet tones. Gods above, those two were idiots. Clarice and Angelica were absolutely perfect, inside and out. Truly, I was sitting at a table with the three most beautiful women in the entire Holfort Kingdom.
As I lowered my cup, I was greeted by all three women blushing to the tips of their fingers. Poor Livia was hiding behind her hands again, squeaking incoherently. Angelica looked as though she was trying to say something in protest, but had lost all powers of speech. Clarice merely blinked at me, stunned, as her jaw dropped open. I blinked briefly, wondering what could have prompted such a dramatic response from the girls when it finally occurred to me.
"...I said that out loud, didn't I?" I facepalmed.
"If you mean where you called us the three most beautiful women in the Holfort Kingdom?" replied Clarice in a whisper. "…Yeah, you did… Do you really mean it?"
"…Yeah, yeah I do…" I smiled after a moment of consideration on whether now was really the right time to say so. "You are all absolutely beautiful, inside and out."
"Leon, you're truly kind to say that," sighed Angelica. "Still, it does leave one's confidence in tatters to see the man you love seduced away by another woman so easily."
"You said it, Angie…" agreed Clarice. "...Damn that bitch Marie…"
"...Wait… Marie Fou Lafan is the girl stealing Jilk away?" asked Angelica, almost growling in anger.
Well… Shit… It looks like they were putting the same pieces together that I'd worked out. I could say that it hasn't been confirmed yet, but… No, I had to be fair to Angelica and Clarice.
"...Based on what you told me during our midterm, what Clarice told me prior to your arrival, and what I've been able to piece together with Luxion's help… yeah, it's probably her…" I admitted. "It's all conjecture, but the evidence strongly suggests it. Still, I didn't want to bring up the possibility until I could verify it."
"...So that bitch is two-timing our fiancés?" snarled Clarice.
"Worse, I'm afraid," I replied, expression grim. "If I'm right, then she's after every man in the Prince's entourage…"
The silence that followed was not encouraging, by any means. Angelica looked ready to march out of my tea room and string Marie up by her own guts. Clarice looked torn between watching and joining in. Livia, meanwhile, looked like her heart was breaking twice over for these two young women as she tried to comfort both of them at once.
"But why?" asked Livia hopelessly. "What would be the point?"
"I intend to ask her tonight when we have a less-than-friendly chat," I replied.
I soon found myself surrounded by three young women all emphatically shouting at me. Their words all blended together, but I could tell they were all saying the same thing: Don't meet with Marie. I waited silently while their voices slowly trailed off and then I spoke.
"And what path would you suggest instead?" I asked. "Should we drive Marie from the school under the combined weight of bullying? Should we arrange for her to have an 'accident' with extreme prejudice? Shall we pay her off with an obscene amount of gold? And what will the Prince and his friends make of us then? Do we become the villains that they accuse us of being? And what about the next pretty face that walks in their direction? No, I've considered all the options, even becoming the villain myself, and there's no other option than to confront Marie directly; not without putting you into the line of fire. On that day in the dungeon, I gave my word to help you out, Angelica, and I shall extend that oath to Clarice as well. And I will die before I go back on my word."
"...Leon, please don't go near her," pleaded Angelica softly. "I've lost my Julius to her, and I can't bear the thought that she might bewitch you into her clutches as well…"
"She'd have better odds of bewitching you, Angelica," I replied just as softly.
"…will you swear to me?" asked Angelica. "Swear that you will not fall to Marie's charms?"
Without a word, I got up to my armor stand, lifted my sword from its stand and knelt before Angelica.
"I, Leon Fou Bartfort, pledge my word to you, Angelica Rapha Redgrave, that I shall harbor no carnal or romantic interest in Marie Fou Lafan…" I pledged to Angelica. "May this blade cut me down where I stand if I break my word…"
Angelica blushed heavily as I knelt before her, but she didn't look away. Livia gasped, star-struck by my gesture. Clarice, on the other hand, was grinning knowingly at Angelica, clearly making assumptions about the nature of our relationship. Angelica frowned at Clarice when she caught sight of the look, and the two proceeded to have a wordless argument about what my gesture meant. This suited me just fine, because it allowed me to get into position next to Clarice and kneel before her just like I did with Angelica. The stunned look on Clarice's face as she blushed was as priceless as the look that Angelica gave Clarice.
"I, Leon Fou Bartfort, pledge my word to you, Clarice Fia Atlee, that I shall harbor no carnal or romantic interest in Marie Fou Lafan…" I pledged to Clarice. "May this blade cut me down where I stand if I break my word…"
"...Gods above…" whispered Clarice as she tried to banish the blush from her face while Angelica smiled smugly at her friend.
As I rose to my feet, all three girls instantly came to the same conclusion on what my next course of action would be. Livia instantly flushed and hid behind her hands for the third time that night as I rose to my feet and made my way around the was fawning over how adorable Livia was being while Angelica was smiling warmly. I knelt before Livia and waited in silence for her to peek through the gaps in her fingers. I gave her a warm smile to reassure her.
"I, Leon Fou Bartfort, pledge my word to you, dearest Livia, that I shall harbor no carnal or romantic interest in Marie Fou Lafan…" I pledged to Livia. "May this blade cut me down where I stand if I break my word…"
"So what's the plan to deal with the little gremlin?" asked Clarice as the blushes around the room finally started to fade.
"Well, I'm hoping to resolve this quietly and as diplomatically as possible," I admitted. "However, I am prepared to handle this by going over her head and appealing to Julius and Jilk directly. We must make sure that we don't take any rash actions here, because this could get very messy and very public faster than we can handle. Angelica, I know you want to kick that gremlin out the nearest window, and I don't blame you. If I'm right about what she's doing, she's going to try provoking a reaction out of you so that you get portrayed as some kind of villainess in this mess. I'm telling you this because I want you to be prepared for what she may throw at you. If you need to vent your frustrations away from your followers, my door is always open and I'm sure Clarice and Livia are more than happy to help."
"...And what happens if I do something rash?" asked Angelica softly.
"Then I'll handle the aftermath," I replied with a shrug. "I'm half-ready to throw down with the little goblin myself for what she's put the two of you through, so I get it if you run out of patience with her. I just don't want you to ruin your reputation over that little cutting board."
"Wait, 'cutting board'?" asked Livia in confusion. "Why is that an insult?"
"Flat as a cutting board with the same depth of character," I deadpanned, to which Clarice gave a most unlady-like snort. "And I'm sure no more pleasant to fuck."
"Leon!" shrieked Livia, scandalized as Clarice broke into laughter at my unrepentant grin.
"While I appreciate the attempt at raising my spirits, Leon, I would prefer not to picture that gremlin of a woman in that context…" rebuked Angelica gently, despite the ghost of a smile on her face.
"Of course, my apologies," I replied with a brief bow of my head, but my unrepentant grin remained.
"And what happens if Julius and Jilk don't cooperate with you?" asked Clarice.
"Then I go to war," I replied, my eyes taking on a steely edge.
"You mean 'we' go to war," corrected Angelica, while Livia and Clarice nodded firmly. "If you think that we'll take advantage of your kindness without standing with you, then I will be forced to slap some sense into you."
I was prevented from responding by a frantic knock at the door. I frowned, glancing at the time. It was only half-past six, so there was another hour before my meeting with Marie, and Luxion would not have knocked on the door, for obvious reasons, and I wasn't expecting any other guests. I rose from the table and approached the door slowly, ready to release my hidden blades for an unwelcome face. When I opened the door, an upperclassman with a hairstyle inspired by Jason Todd, complete with the dyed-red tuft up front, seemed to desperately try and keep himself calm as he spoke with me.
"Good evening. My name is Dan Fia Elgar," greeted the upperclassman. "I apologize for disturbing you, but it is a matter of some urgency. I am a Follower of Lady Clarice Fia Atlee, and she has been missing for several hours now. Please, have you seen her?"
"...Hey Clarice? It's for you," I replied, letting Dan into the room.
"Lady Clarice!" exclaimed Dan as he rushed next to Clarice. "Thank goodness you're alright!"
"...Hey Dan…" smiled Clarice sadly. "I wouldn't say that I'm alright, but I'm doing much better thanks to Leon, Livia, and Angie…"
"Thank you, Lady Angelica," bowed Dan. "And you as well, Lady Livia."
"W-wait, there's no need to thank me!" stammered Livia, and I had to hide my smile behind my hand. "Besides, I've caused more trouble for you by pulling Clarice away. You had to have been worried sick…"
"Maybe there was a bit more trouble, but the good that you've done for Lady Clarice makes it more than worth whatever worries you may have caused us," replied Dan with a grateful smile. "For weeks, our Lady carried a sadness that we could not break through, and I can already see it starting to lift. For that alone, you have my most sincere gratitude and I know that any of Lady Clarice's other followers would say the same."
"...I only did what anyone should have done…" mumbled Livia, clearly not used to the attention and praise.
"And here we see a clear example of the difference between 'would' and 'should'," I piped up. "You're absolutely right that others should have done exactly what you did for Clarice. However, what makes your actions extraordinary is that very few noble ladies would have done the same, especially for someone who was a complete stranger. You wanted to know what made you so special, Livia, and that example is merely one of many."
"I must also thank you as well, Sir Leon," bowed Dan as Livia pouted in embarrassment. "If there's ever a way to return this favor, you may call upon any of us in Lady Clarice's service."
"...Well, there's one thing that needs to be done, but I know you're not going to like it," I winced.
"Name it, and it will be done," replied Dan.
"Make sure that no one continues to bully Marie Fou Lafan," I replied, watching Dan's face twist into a grimace.
"...You're correct, I really don't like it," replied Dan. "May I ask why we need to protect that beastly woman?"
"Because I suspect that she wants to play the victim, and any actions to bully her will paint Angelica and Clarice as villainesses," I explained. "As detestable as the little gremlin is, we shouldn't give her any more ammunition to beat us over the head with."
"...Your reasoning is annoyingly sound, Sir Leon," sighed Dan. "I will pass it along and call it a request from Lady Clarice. Which means that we would still owe you a favor…"
"I may take you up on that favor very soon, depending on how my meeting with Miss Lafan goes this evening to try and resolve this quietly," I replied. "Clarice can explain more to you later. In fact, if you would walk Livia, Angelica, and Clarice back for the evening for me? I need to gather some things before I meet with the little gremlin."
"Of course," replied Dan. "I would have questioned your honor if you didn't."
"Thanks, man," I grinned before turning back to the girls. "Wish me luck. We can meet up here tomorrow, and I'll let you know how it went."
"Leon, wait…" interjected Clarice.
"Yes, Clarice?" I asked.
Clarice hesitated for a moment, an internal argument playing out on her face. Her eyes gained a determined look as one side finally won out, and she walked toward me with purpose before embracing me warmly. I froze for a moment before returning the embrace with a comforting hand on her back.
"...Thank you, Leon," whispered Clarice. "I know that I've caused a lot of trouble for you, but I thank you for your kindness."
"You haven't done anything wrong," I smiled. "Things will look brighter soon, I promise. In the meantime, we're here for you."
"...You know, Angie is right about what she said," whispered Clarice. "You better treat that girl right when you find her, Leon…"
"Always…" I replied with a gentle smile.
Clarice said nothing, hesitating again before leaning forward and kissing me on the cheek. I blinked in surprise as Clarice smiled at me.
"For luck…" whispered Clarice mischievously, letting her fingers linger on my shoulders as she pulled away.
As I watched her turn away with a gentle sway in her hips, it took a Herculean effort to keep my eyes above her waist, but I just barely managed to do so. Livia was extremely amused that the tables had finally been turned on me, giggling behind her hand at my stunned expression. Angelica looked ready to tease Clarice the moment that the three of them left, if the glint in her eye was any indication. Dan seemed to be studying me with a carefully appraising eye, but surprisingly didn't seem to disapprove.
"...Good luck, Sir Leon," bowed Dan as he followed after the girls.
I finally slumped back into my chair, letting my heart slow back to a normal pace. Luxion finally shimmered into view and floated by my side, saying nothing. Even still, I could feel the smug aura around the devilish floating ball.
"It would seem Operation Tea Party Seduction has finished with a one hundred fifty percent success rate," observed Luxion.
"Lux, knock it off…" I grumbled. "I know you're annoyed at this whole scenario, but-"
"Why would I be annoyed?" asked Luxion. "The parameters that you set for the Old Human Return were for non-violent measures. Propagating your genome as far and wide as possible is the most viable solution to this matter."
"Look, just… Print off the notes so we can go talk with the little gremlin," I sighed, realizing that I was not helping my case in any way.
"As you say, Master," replied Luxion.