Chapter 14

Though Times

Cora marched through the house like a hysterical maniac. Her feet beheld the weight of an elephant, making the wooden floor creak with every step she took. Rose on the other hand, had crawled into her own shell like a rabbit in its whole. She was bend over the dinner table, her head leaning in her hands. The saltness of her tears started to sting her lips.

"You're so stupid, Rose!" Cora shot at her. She was standing next to her with her arms crossed."

"I just couldn't, Cora. There is no way I can go back to that place."

"What is the worst thing that could happen, Rose? It's been almost ten years! That man you were going to marry is married and lives in Pittsburgh and that Brown woman even told you that your mother is married and lives in Lancaster."

"I know that very well, Cora. But what I also know is when someone recognises me, rumours will spread faster than you can comprehend. It's the life I have lived for seventeen years. No one, not even a man, is going to put me back into that life. That city is dead to me."

"Does he even know who you really are?"

"Rose Cartmell is who I am and who I have always been."

"Oh stop this nonsense, Rose! Don't you ever get tired of this lie we are living?"

"No," Rose snapped back, "Because look at what we've got, Cora. This so called lie we are living has given me work, a house, people I love, and it has given you a future."

Cora scoffed and shook her head. She felt angry, but she didn't know why. It wasn't her decision that had been made, it wasn't her luck which had been thrown away. Walking over to the front door, she grabbed her coat.

"Where do you think you are going?" Rose called behind her.

"I'm going to Ethel's." She said and slammed the door shut behind her. Rose was alone once again. Henry had shut the door behind him in a gentler manner, but it was shut, and they would never see each other again. She had never seen him so desperate when she remained silent after his question. Rose stood there; her body frozen onto the wooden floor whilst staring at the ring. Philadelphia: the city which held the past she had run away from. One simple nod or even an inaudible yes would eventually bring her back to that place. She knew times were different, but to be even more cautious than she had already been for the past ten years was a task impossible to do.

The DeWitt Bukaters were practically one of the figureheads of Philadelphia; everyone knew who they were. It was easy to spot her for Rose still looked the same. Her prominent red curls and fair skin, the sound of her well-mannered way of speaking which she had never gotten rid of. One simple recognition, even by a stranger, would cause a total scene in the city. Would her mother be notified that her daughter had risen from the dead? Would people despise her for disappearing? Would they take Cora away from her?

"I am sorry," Rose eventually whispered. Her eyes had filled with tears, "I can't."

"What?" Henry closed the velvet box and stood up. "You don't want to marry me?"

"Or course I want to marry you, Henry. That is not the point."

"Then what is it?" Rose looked away from him and he took her hand in his. "Tell me, Rose. What is it?"

"It's the other side of the country, Henry. I can't just leave everything behind and move there. And what about Cora? What about her life here? She is at such a vulnerable age and to change her whole life would be devastating for her." She was now crying.

"That's really what you are worried about? We can make it work over there, Rose, I know we can. Philadelphia is a wonderful city with lots of opportunities for Cora also. Perhaps even more than here. Let us discuss it with her."

"I am sorry, Henry, but I just can't. I can't move with you to Philadelphia."

"Then I'll stay here." Henry stated firmly.

"Don't be absurd. You won't get this opportunity again, Henry. You must go." She tried to touch him, but his stepped away. He couldn't bear to look at her; her face made his stomach twist.

"Right," He mumbled and walked towards the front door, "I get it."

"Henry, wait." Rose followed him and tried to stop him from leaving, but it was already too late. He had fled the house, fled her life. One hour later Cora found her in total distress.

Without an umbrella, Cora was drenched to the bone when she arrived at her friend's house. She rang the bell and was soon welcomed by the confused look of Mrs. Turner.

"Cora?"

"I hope I am not disturbing you, Mrs. Turner."

"It's dinner time, Cora."

"Yes. Of course. My apologies."

The woman could see the desperation in the girl's eyes, and she stepped aside, nodding her head to walk further. "You're all soaked to the bone, girl. Is everything all right?"

From the kitchen, Ethel had already heard her friend's voice and was surprised by her sudden visit. Her mother quickly ordered her to fetch Cora some dry clothes and when she was all freshened up, she joined the rest of the family at the dinner table. Cora had always loved coming over, for the family was big and the house was always lively. It was something she often missed at home. It was quiet most of the times, even too quiet for her liking. Even at home in England, Cora often longed for the company of a brother or sister. Her father was always out working, and her mother was too busy with keeping their small home up and running. Here you were never afraid that the house would go quiet.

"Go fetch Cora a chair, Tommy." Mr. Turner ordered his only son.

"Yes, father."

As Cora sat down, she immediately was being offered a large plate of stew. The smell made her stomach rumble even more.

"Is everything all right with you and miss Cartmell, Cora?" Mr. Turner asked worriedly.

Cora shrugged her shoulders. "At this moment, not really. Rose has just made the most stupid decision to turn down Mr. Calvert's marriage proposal. Excuse me for my language."

The whole table was at a loss for words. Ethel's eyes widened and she let out a big gasp. "What did you just say there?" Both her parents lend her a warning look with their eyes, but she ignored them, "I would have never expected this! I saw them around two weeks ago and they looked so in love! Even Rose!"

"Ethel, mind the tone of your voice." Her father stated.

Ethel rolled her eyes. "I just don't get it."

"Apparently, Henry has gotten a promotion at work. In Philadelphia." Cora said as she looked down at her plate, "I would love to move to Philadelphia with them, but Rose doesn't want to move. Isn't it absurd not wanting to marry the person you love because you have to move to another city?"

"Love is not the answer to everything, Cora." Mrs. Turner said.

Confused, Cora raised an eyebrow and looked at her with glassy eyes. "I'm sorry?"

"I know it might be a hard thing to realize, Cora," Mrs. Turner started, "But you and miss Cartmell were so young when you two first came to San Francisco. I believe she was eighteen and taking care of you all by herself after having lost both your parents and your aunt and uncle. I truly believe she is scared, dear child."

"What is there to be scared about?"

"The unknown? Perhaps having to start all over again in a new city she doesn't know as having built a whole life here?"

The guilt of her selfishness quickly overtook her. Cora's reaction to the news came mostly out of her own unhappiness. The possibility to move away from this place was all that she could think about. What she knew is that she loved Rose more than anything, but what she also knew is that she wasn't happy here. Apart from Ethel, Cora did not feel any connection with her peers. School did not go well and then there was this estranged longing for her parents. No one knew them, no one was able to tell her anything about them. They were up in a different place she could not reach, yet she still hoped that, in some way, they were keeping an eye on her.

It was almost close to midnight when Cora arrived back home. In the living room there was only one light burning. It shined softly on Rose's face. She was lying on the couch, knocked out by the turbulence of emotions. A sigh escaped her lips as Cora looked at her lifeless figure. Carefully she moved passed her, grabbed a blanket, and laid it gently on top of her. Placing a kiss on top of her head, Cora desperately prayed for better times.

But better times were far from reality for the Cartmells. The following year turned out to be more challenging than expected. There was a form of constant tension between the two women, caused by both their own inner battles. For the first time in years, they did not seem to know how to communicate with one another. Therefore, Cora remained in her room for most of the time; secluded from anything and anyone else.

June 1923

"I think it will be good for you to get out of the house." Rose said as she sat on the edge of Cora's bed.

"I've already seen your play." Cora sighed as she folded the edge of her book before putting it down.

"I know. But you haven't been outside in days. Ethel will be there as well. I spoke to Mrs. Turner the other day and her sister from Los Angeles is visiting her with her son, so the whole family will be there," Cora kept staring outside her window without saying a word. Rose sighed and lifted herself off the bed, "I'd really love it if you came." Then she left, leaving Cora in her own world. As she heard Rose leave the house, she still waited an hour before making any sort of movement. Slowly, she removed herself from behind her desk and shuffled over towards Rose's bedroom. She knew where it was; the soft muslin dress which she adored. Rose won't mind, she thought to herself, she never wears it. The fabric fell delicately over her skin. Then she looked for a matching hat before putting on her shoes.

It was even hotter than she expected, and the crowded tram didn't work wonders for her to cool down as well. As she eventually stepped inside the theater, everyone seemed to turn their heads and stare her down when she was the last person to answer. Stepping forward, she desperately tried to find an empty seat, but there was nothing left. As she was about to leave again, Ethels voice called out for her. She waved from the other side and pointed next to her. Cora sighed out of relief, and she quickly made her way towards her friend.

"I'm glad you came otherwise I would have had to sit next to him." She pointed at the person sitting next to her. It was a young boy about their age with curls as dark as her own. Despite him sitting down, his figure looked tall and slender and when her turned towards Cora noticed he was wearing glasses.

"Why can't you just be nice for once, Ethel." He hissed at her friend.

"Never mind him, Cora." Ethel said, "this is my cousin Laurie."

The boy reached out his hand. "I'm Lauren Taylor."

"Cora Cartmell."

"Pleasure." He turned his attention back to the stage and the curtains opened. It took fifteen minutes for Rose to show up. Again, she looked radiant, despite the costumes and heavy makeup she was wearing. People loved her, as always and when the play was over and Rose had joined the others for a drink, she was being bombarded with compliments. Rose on the other hand, did not care for the high remarks of others and was desperately trying to catch Cora's attention. She had gathered around her peers, clutching a glass of wine.

"I'm glad my son gets along with your sister." A woman suddenly stood next to her.

"My cousin." Rose quickly corrected her before she turned to the side.

"Yes, of course. I forgot. I am Annabelle Taylor."

Rose shook her head. "Oh yes! Mrs. Turner's sister. She told me you were visiting from Los Angeles."

"Yes. We are already leaving on Sunday unfortunately. Just in time to watch your wonderful play."

"You like the theater, Mrs. Taylor?"

"Absolutely! My husband and I used to go a lot to the theater and operas. It was a shared passion of ours."

They chatted for a while before Rose could feel a headache coming up. She walked over to Cora and placed a hand on her shoulder, inviting her to come with her. Cora remained standing and twirled the wine inside her glass.

"You want to stay, Cora?"

"Can I?"

"Sure. As long as you are home before dark." Rose then headed towards the exit.

"Dark," Cora scoffed, "Who needs to be home before dark anymore?"

"It's not even dark until ten or something." Lauren said.

"I know, but I am not a baby anymore, now am I?"

"Perhaps I know something better," Suzie, one of Ethel's friends murmured, "There is a party downtown with a band all the way from New Orleans. My brother told me there are going to be a lot of famous people."

"How does he know that?" Ethel raised an eyebrow.

"Because he works there."

Cora chugged the last bit of wine in her glass and smiled. "Let's go."

Darkness had long fallen over the city and Rose was starting to feel sick of worry. Sitting straight up in her bed, she kept her eyes glued on the clock. Eleven turned into twelve and so it moved until it showed half past three. A sudden bang brought Rose back to reality and she soon heard the door open, voices and another bang.

"Where have you been Cora, I was worried sick!" Rose rushed down the stairs and was shocked by the scene playing out on front of her. Cora was kneeled on the floor. Lauren helped her up, but she quickly pulled back from his grip, making her almost fall over again.

"Are you drunk, Cora?"

"I am perfectly fine, Rose," she giggled, "I just tripped over the threshold."

"You can quit the act, Cora. I can smell the alcohol from up my bedroom. And you," she looked at the others with burning eyes. "Go home. Now. I'll let your own mothers deal with you."

"Yes, miss Cartmell. We are so sorry, miss Cartmell." They left as quick as they could, leaving the two girls alone.

The next day, Cora was awakened by a sharp light piercing through her eyelids. As she looked up, she saw that Rose had opened her curtains and was standing next to her bed. A sudden wave of nausea overtook her whole body and she managed to make her way towards the bathroom. As she returned to her room, Cora fell onto her bed and watched how Rose put a glass of water and two white pills onto her nightstand.

"You're going to need this." Rose said. Her voice was cold without any form of emotion. Cora wanted to speak, but she was too afraid to worsen the situation. Rose was angry and she could feel that energy moving through the room. After a moment of silence, the doorbell rang.

"Even the sound of the doorbell hurts." Cora groaned into her pillow.

"Perhaps you should get used to it for next time." Rose walked out of the room, headed downstairs and opened the door to be greeted by Mrs. Taylor and her son.

"Good afternoon, miss Cartmell. I hope we are not disturbing."

Rose shook her head, "Of course not. Please come in."

"Lauren would like to apologize, isn't that right, son?"

His eyes lifted from underneath his dark curls and he nodded his head before he dared to look at Rose. "Yes, miss. I am very sorry about last night. I should have taken my responsi-"

"Please," Rose interrupted him, "There is no need for you to apologize. Cora is very much capable of controlling her own actions. Can I offer you some tea?"

Mrs. Taylor nodded her head. "That would be lovely, thank you." She pushed her son forward and he moved towards the living room.

Rose quickly followed behind them with a tray. "The water was still warm." She desperately tried to smile, but her heart remained heavy, "I should drag Cora out of her bed and make her face the two of you, but I am afraid I am too weak hearted to do so."

"Don't bother, miss Cartmell. I'm glad she is all right." Mrs. Taylor said and watched Rose's every move as she poured the tea into the cups, "I've never seen anyone prepare tea so precisely."

Rose could feel her cheeks start to flush, "I guess I am just always afraid to spill it."

"Exactly what my husband used to say. That's why he always let me do it."

"He didn't join you on your trip?" Rose asked as she handed her her cup.

"Peter passed away a few years ago. Spanish flu."

"Oh I am so sorry."

"Don't be. We manage just fine with the two of us, don't we Laurie?" He nodded his head, "Only, I can never bear to be home when it's his birthday. So every year, we visit my sister when that dreadful day rolls around." Mrs. Taylor then looked over Rose's shoulder, "That is a lovely painting you have over there. The composition reminds me of Renoir."

"I am starting to believe we share a lot of the same interests, Mrs. Taylor; theater, art."

"My husband used to own an art gallery, therefore he has taught me a lot. Unfortunately, it got shot down after his death in 1919. I never dared to set a foot inside of it again, which has made the building turn into a complete ruin. But now, a dear family friend has offered to renovate the place and reopen the gallery."

"That is a very kind gesture."

"Yes, but there is so much to be done! I don't know how I am going to organize everything." She quickly drank the remaining tea before putting it back on the saucer with trembling hands. The three remained quiet for a long time, before Annabelle eventually shot of from her chair as a wonderful idea had popped up inside her head.