Chapter 45

Moving on

Sanji grabbed the empty glasses from the wooden table before quickly cleaning it up and then heading inside to put his dishes in the sink. A second later, he was back outside and after making sure no one was needing anything, he headed back to the cellar to check on his drinks this time.

The terrace of the All Blue had been very popular since late spring and customers came here for a drink between lunch and dinner now. All summer, the restaurant hadn't been empty and Sanji hadn't regretted solidifying his team in the kitchen. At the height of the season, he had even hired an extra to help Amy with the service, and now that fall was well underway, the crowds were beginning to recede. Yet the late season was beautiful and the sun was still warming up the atmosphere, attracting visitors.

Sanji chose two wine glasses and checked the bottle he had selected for his next order: a regional dry white wine to accompany the charcuterie platter a table of three had ordered. He then noticed that he was running out of mortadella and he grabbed his pen to jot it down on his inventory management list. The aperitif dinner had been a huge success since the terrace was open and Liam and his team would have to pick up supplies on Vorgo.

The blond grabbed his charcuterie platter after placing the glasses and the bottle he had prepared on another tray. Walking towards the table, he once again congratulated himself on the choice he had made regarding the location of his restaurant: the open cellar overlooking the All Blue panorama was breathtaking and the way Franky had built it was an undeniable strong point of the establishment. Arriving in front of his customers, the cook put down his dishes before clearing another table.

He was alone to manage the restaurant in the late afternoon. Yet Zeff and Amy would join him tonight and his two kitchen boys had helped him during lunch. Sanji took care to regularly offer moments of rest to his employees now, but the old cook still handled all the services with him. Zeff didn't participate in the opening hours between meals though, arguing that it wasn't really about cooking.

Sanji had shrugged when he had noticed that he often was the one manning the terrace, preparing the drinks and serving the customers. He didn't care to do it all and work excessive hours without interruption. Indeed, if he had understood that everyone didn't have his energy nor his will to go all-in in this work, he needed to make himself useful. More and more. And while he wasn't fooled by his own attitude, his hyperactivity was also a good thing because the All Blue was growing at breakneck speed now: Amy's bookings stretched out over weeks and intrusion attempts were regular.

Fortunately, Liam's new alarm system allowed the inhabitants and the cooks to be warned quickly and Sanji often took care to welcome their assailants seriously enough to make them not want to come back. The protection of his identity had then become an increasingly fragile issue because with the rise in power of their enemies, it was less and less easy to preserve it. The blond had made up his mind about it: the day he would be recognized, he would decide what to do. In the meantime, he couldn't leave the locals to their own devices or watch others take all the risks.

Despite this already busy schedule, they had also agreed to open the second door that the scientist had identified as being the most stable after that of Vorgo. Fortunately, Lily's and Tori's teams had also strengthened with the appeal of the All Blue and there had even been a few additional moves this summer. The future of the island looked bright.

After bringing several more drinks to a table, Sanji suddenly realized that he had no more orders to fulfill but he didn't take the opportunity to rest. Grabbing his notebook, he began to take inventory of his bottles. There was always something to do.

"I picked up your orders, I put them in the fridge in the cellar and the rest is in the kitchen."

"Have you thought about taking the cheese order? We're almost out of gorgonzola."

"Cheese, charcuterie and flour for the cereal breads, I think I thought of everything."

"Perfect. Thank you, Liam."

Sanji stuck his cigarette between his lips, his gaze fixed on the bright pink cherry blossoms as he enjoyed his first break after the end of his lunch shift the next day. Fortunately, he had friends he could count on because despite all his energy, he couldn't take care of the stock in addition to the cooking and the service.

"By the way, you didn't tell me if you liked the donuts I made yesterday," he remembered while watching the scientist checking the alarm on the back door of the restaurant behind him.

"The frosting was nice but I didn't really appreciate them," the dark-haired man confessed, embarrassed as he turned to him. "I prefer when they taste really different…"

"Maybe the dosage of sugar was still a bit too much," Sanji admitted while blowing his smoke thoughtfully. "I'll make some more."

"There's no rush," his friend replied as he resumed his task, "As soon as winter comes, the All Blue will probably be quieter and you'll have more time."

The cook shook his head even though Liam couldn't see him. "You'll have them tomorrow at the latest. Customers don't ask for much once they're seated on the terrace and if anything, I'll do it after tonight's service."

Liam shook his head as well before putting his small screwdriver back in his pocket, his check complete. "I guess there's no point in asking you to get some rest?"

"I'm not tired," the blond agreed.

As if to prove it to him, Sanji stuck his cigarette between his lips again to start arranging the tables on the terrace but Liam stopped him.

"Take the time to finish your cigarette at least, okay? I'll do it."

The cook didn't have time to reply that the scientist was already arranging the tables and chairs, taking care to install them in the exact way Sanji usually did. The blond decided to grant himself a few more moments then, embarrassed.

He knew both Liam and Zeff had noticed his increasingly palpable inner turmoil, but both of them had also decided not to ask him about it. The old cook regularly threw suspicious glances at him but he never opened his mouth and the dark-haired man only offered to help him as often as he could.

Sanji was grateful to them. He didn't delude himself but he was totally lost in front of his own thoughts and he wouldn't have been able to explain himself properly. Indeed, since the middle of the summer, his feverishness had only increased and to control it, he immersed himself in the work in order to prevent his reflections from drifting. But he wasn't stupid. He knew that there would come a time when his body or mind would be too exhausted to continue to keep up and he didn't want to imagine how Zeff or the other All Blue residents would look at him that day. He had responsibilities, many people relied on him and he wasn't going to suffer the humiliation of a moralizing discourse with his old mentor again. Yet he was aware that his attitude was worthy of that of a child and that he couldn't hide from his own torments indefinitely. He had to face them, and fast. His own sanity and the future of All Blue depended on it.

Sanji took a drag of his cigarette butt one last time before crushing it in his ashtray, his gaze lingering distractedly on the precise and diligent gestures of Liam a few steps away. The scientist was a man of integrity, passion and hard work. He was attentive to others and deeply caring. He never hesitated to defend All Blue and he respected the fairer sex. He then possessed more qualities than many men put together.

Surprising himself to examine him further, Sanji suddenly looked away, furious with himself. What got into him? He was like a very selfish man, almost rejoicing that the scientist had feelings for him while knowing he wasn't feeling the same. Never before in his life had he had such a reaction, but in this way, he experienced the exhilaration of being wanted and his hurt self-esteem was delighted to trigger such emotions. Despite himself, his mind had begun to observe the scientist in a different light until the obvious hit him: Liam was a man.

Sanji was aware that this reflection was absurd after what he had shared with the crew's swordsman, but it was true for him nonetheless. Indeed, the cook had always been attracted to women and his relationship with the fencer hadn't changed that. He had simply decided to classify his affection for Zoro as an exception to the rule because of the extraordinary relationship they had always shared.

But if he allowed himself to look at Liam in terms of attraction, he was smashing his principles and beliefs about his own personality. Again. Because if the scientist entered the realm of possibilities, then Zoro was no longer an exception but a revelation. He was losing his uniqueness but he was highlighting his true person: Sanji loved women too much to develop a genuine relationship with one of them. He needed someone to oppose him to be himself and faced with the generous curves of the ladies, he was incapable of considering contradicting them.

The blond sighed, biting his lip. Liam was just an example of all the ambivalence and confusion he was feeling every day for nearly three months actually. Ever since he'd fed those Marines in the dead of summer precisely.

That day, the end of the lunch shift was approaching when three men barely standing on their legs had knocked on the door of the All Blue. They were just skin and bones, their clothes in rags worn by the salt, and they had collapsed in front of the last customers who had frozen in surprise. Their uniforms were still visible and them being part of the Marine had been obvious but Sanji hadn't hesitated for a second. He had put a full plate down in front of them before they had even opened their mouths. The three men had swallowed their shares amid tears of gratitude and when the restaurant had emptied, the blond had spent some more time with them, offering them more food.

He had learned that they had recently been sailing under the command of a newly promoted Commodore in the New World and that their ship had been attacked. The three Marines had trembled in horror as they had described the immeasurable power their enemies had unleashed upon them. They had explained the terror, the exhaustion, the elements unleashed by the power of their attackers.

At the time of the assault, the Marines were already exhausted because they had struggled continuously since entering the New World and their ship had quickly broken up after the collision it had suffered. The building had sunk in a few minutes and the three Marines had seen all their comrades sink alongside them or be taken prisoner by the pirates who had fun torturing them before killing them. They had drifted on their pieces of wood for days, praying not to be discovered. They had been sucked in by the strong currents of the Grand Line and it was only luck that they had finally washed up on All Blue beach after unknowingly passing through a door.

Sanji had then suddenly become aware of the real threat to the Straw Hat crew. Of course, his friends had told him what they were going through and the blond was already concerned when he heard them. But at that moment, in front of these men describing the strength of the Pirate Emperors and their fleets whose wanted posters exceeded more than a billion berries, the reality had appeared in all its violence: despite all their good will, his crew was still far from possessing the strength to survive on this sea.

That day, his thoughts had begun to swirl. The Marines had left through the Vorgo's door to try to join a regiment and Sanji had never seen them again. He had tried to put this information in the back of his mind but he couldn't help noticing as the days went by that he had no news from his friends.

And a few days before, he had become aware of another equally cruel truth: he had realized that a year had passed since the departure of the crew from All Blue and this simple observation had been a real shock.

One year, twelve months, fifty-two weeks, three hundred and sixty-five days. An incalculable number of minutes and seconds that he didn't spend with his friends who risked their lives at every moment to realize their dreams.

Since then, the blond was more than ever torn by the guilt resulting from his contradictory desires. He wanted to dedicate himself to his restaurant but he was worried about his crew. He wanted to build his life on All Blue but his heart yearned for the Sunny. He wanted to turn the page on his relationship with Zoro like he had promised the fencer, but he also refused to give up this happiness, even if it was just memories. He was lost. Lost between his will to move on and his will that still connected him to the happy days of his past. He knew that they weren't incompatible in reality, but switching between them required tangible acts which constantly reminded him of this duality.

Saying he wanted to stay on All Blue had cost him, but the pain he was experiencing at the thought of his friends fighting alone for their survival in the New World was an exorbitant price to pay. Likewise, promising the swordsman that he wouldn't wait for him required a daily burst of energy that exhausted him. Despite himself, he kept thinking about the Sunny and he kept considering Zoro as his only possible relationship.

The pain he felt was throbbing and if it had gently anesthetized him at first, it reappeared fiercely with each step he took now: as long as he remained faithful to his friends in thought, the suffering was less heavy to bear. But the more time passed, the more his absence became reality and the more the restaurant grew, the more evidence he gave that he was no longer devoted to his crew. And this proof, it wasn't only the others who could see it. He himself couldn't ignore it anymore.

Words were so simple and so ruthless at the same time. He had made a commitment with the inhabitants of All Blue and he had promised the swordsman to make his life away from him. His two commitments seemed to tend towards the same direction but at the same time, they forced Sanji to draw a line under the happiest moments of his life.

Sanji looked back at the cherry tree overlooking the sea, his lips quivering. All Blue wasn't supposed to create such a dilemma in him. He loved its blue and full of life waters so much. He had dreamed of it so much. This ocean had given him hope when he had had none. It had accompanied him during the darkest years of his childhood and it was for this ocean that he had had the strength to flee his past. Sanji owed everything to All Blue even before collapsing under the weight of the gratitude he felt towards Zeff and Luffy.

All Blue had rocked his past, it enveloped his present and it would tint his future irrevocably. It was his whole life.

Sanji knew he needed to make a choice. A choice between his life with the crew on the Sunny and the life he was trying to build on All Blue. A choice that would inevitably fill him with the pain of giving up one or the other, but a choice that would also allow him to make peace with his own mind by focusing on a single objective. A choice that would allow him to move on.

Night had long fallen on the island when Liam heard the knocking on his workshop door. Pushing his headphones away from his ears, the dark-haired man headed for the door before opening it. On the other side, he discovered Sanji, a plate in his hand. The cook had obviously finished his dinner shift and as promised, he had made new donuts topped with pralines this time. The blond knew that his friend often worked late at night and he had taken advantage of seeing the light filtering from his house to bring him his new pastries immediately.

The scientist smiled. "I knew you wouldn't forget."

"I always keep my word."

Nodding, Liam invited him in before heading back to his devices. "Just put your plate somewhere, I won't be long," he said, pointing vaguely to the rest of his workshop. "I just wanna be sure I can track the new door transmitter. There's a fairly strong storm on the other side and I'm trying to see if I can pick up some signals."

"All right."

The scientist sat on his chair in front of his desk and plugged a new wire into a Den-Den Mushi facing him. He then engaged a cable and repositioned his headphones on his ears before adjusting several measuring instruments.

After a few moments, he lowered his headphones again then pushed back his chair to find his guest who was observing the bundles of sheets placed all over his furniture.

"I'm not very organized," he apologized, seeing the blond's eyes frown.

"Maybe, but that doesn't stop you from making discoveries," the cook replied, turning to him.

"True, but Lily always says that I'd save time if I tidied up more and maybe I'd understand how All Blue's acoustic doors work faster that way…"

Sanji shrugged. "Usopp and Franky are the most creative persons I know and their workshops are similar to yours," he pointed out.

"Well, it probably depends on personalities because your own creations are among the most innovative in their kind and yet you're someone very structured and methodical when you're cooking," Liam pointed out in turn.

The blond didn't answer, visibly pensive at these words, and the scientist looked around for his donuts. He then spotted the plate a little further and he was about to approach it when a light alarm sounded from the Den-Den Mushi.

"Oh, wait."

The dark-haired man forgot his candy and hurriedly headed for his device. He then leaned over his desk to adjust the intensity of the signal he perceived and he put part of his headphones on to better hear the subtleties of the sounds he picked up.

Satisfied, he finally straightened up to return his attention to the blond. "It's okay, I've set the record-"

Sanji's lips crashed on his own and the scientist recoiled in stupor. He hadn't heard the cook approaching and he grabbed his shoulders to push him away, breathless.

"Wh-What are you doing?" He stammered.

"I'm making a choice. You don't like it?"

Liam stared at his friend uncomfortably. Although Sanji looked determined, he was more than aware of the incongruity of the situation.

"I do but… Last time, you… Well, I thought that…"

Liam sighed before shaking his head. Four months ago, their friendship had nearly been shattered because of what he had revealed so seeing the cook pouncing on him today was frankly disconcerting.

"What about Zoro?" He finally reminded him under his breath.

The blond's gaze didn't leave his own despite the tension in his muscles at the mention of that name.

"He's gone," he simply replied.

Liam swallowed. "You sure?"

"I am. I made a decision a year ago and it's about time I take full responsibility."

The cook pressed his lips against his own again and this time, Liam didn't step back.

I know this is hard but Sanji and Zoro don't handle heartbreak in the same way because of their personalities.

Sanji realizes all the sacrifices he made because his dream comes to fruition and I think it can trigger his reaction given his character. I hope that his reasoning has convinced you anyway. Don't forget it's a happy ending!