Her mind was buzzing, and a bit fuzzy. Every thing felt so good on her palms, and she really couldn't help the sloppy grin that was plastered on her face as Chloe slurred to her. Ah, Chloe. Her bestest friend. Bestest. That's – is that a word? She laughed loudly in her head, taking another long swig of the bottle next to her.

"Becs, you're so tiny," Glancing toward the girl across from her, both of them somehow moving onto the floor, she sent her a hard glare. Chloe huffed.

"I'm just worried you're gonna drink it all." With a light shrug of her shoulders, the drunken grin was back onto her face. God, that woman sitting cross legged in front of her she – she was – Beca doesn't even know. But her eyes are like crazy blue right now and she's giving her that little Chloe Beale smile. It made her feel all hot and sweaty, but it was kinda cool – in a way – or something.

She scratched her knee before sliding the nearly empty bottle back to the middle of them.

"See?" Her hand motioned unsteadily to the glass in front of her. "I didn't dr-drink it all." Keeping down a hiccup, she narrowed her eyes at her companion playfully. They both erupted into small fits of giggles, before settling down a bit after a while.

"I can't believe it's actually over, dude." The brunette said, exhaling roughly. Her long term, husband material, father material – okay ew – boyfriend is no longer her boyfriend. It was all just, weird. Chloe nodded slowly, her fingers running along the neck of the bottle.

"You guys always seemed like you'd be in it for the long run you know," She slapped four fingers together, creating a small square in the middle of them.

"Hash-tag Jeca for-eva." Beca wrinkled her nose, shaking her head quickly.

"No, never say that again. Like ever." Chloe laughed wholeheartedly, wiping under her eyes.

"I'm so funny."

"You're so not."

"Ya well, you're drunk."

"You're drunk-er."

"You're," Chloe's index finger raised in thought, pausing dramatically before dropping it back to her lap.

"-not wrong."

They both laughed, Beca finding Chloe's hand and subconsciously winding her's into it. It all felt right, so she continued their little hand-holding session, focusing on the softness of Chloe's skin for a solid few minutes.

She sighed.

She never felt like crying, not once. And it made her feel super guilty. Super fucking guilty. You're supposed to cry over boys, right? Jesse was a good guy, he was a good one, and maybe she was losing something wonderful? She grimaced to herself. No, that doesn't feel right to say. Jesse is great, but he wasn't her perfect. She wasn't his either, that was clear. He was just a bit too – like – fuck. Who knows. Maybe there was no reason to this issue, maybe it was just how it was!

With a groan, she tugged lightly on the redhead's painted fingers.

"Why are men so – so," Her free hand flailed around the middle of them, trying to grasp for the word she was looking for. With a puff of her cheeks, she let it go. She had no idea what she was trying to explain. She pouted, almost in a child-like manor.

"Why can't we just marry each other?" She could feel the hand in hers stiffen and twitch within her hold momentarily, but she hadn't really acknowledged it.

"Like, that would be so much easier." Beca turned more to the other girl, looking at her face, examining it. Her tongue stuck out partially, tilting her head to the side as she studied Chloe. She let out a low hum.

"Yeah, I could totally go gay for you." A light tint of red stained the other girl's cheeks, but she just blinked back at Beca before chuckling.

"What?" Beca asked through that large, drunk smile. Chloe shook her head at her.

"You'd 'go gay' for me?" She scrunched her fingers as she said that, as if using air-quotes would get some sense into the little DJ.

"I'm sure half of the continent would switch teams for you, Chlo." Beca's brows furrowed in confusion. Surely she knew this already!

"Like," She motioned furiously around the super senior. "Have you seen you? You're gorgeous." Though Chloe's mouth was opening and closing – kind of reminding Beca of a fish out of water – she continued to ramble on.

"I don't blame Jesse for thinking that you were moving in on me," As if she wasn't drunk a few moments ago, the redhead gripped tightly onto Beca's hand, her glazed over expressions becoming serious in a flash.

"He what?" She was talking, questioning the brunette, but she couldn't really hear her. It happened a lot when alcohol was involved.

"-like yeah okay, maybe you're painfully attractive and stuff," Chloe squeezed a few times on the limp hand in her own, trying to get her best friend to get out of her weird ramble.

"Bec,"

"-what gives him the right to assume that there's more to it, he's supposed to just understand how it is,"

"Beca-" The brunette closed her eyes as she continued to spew more and more of her conversation she had with her ex-boyfriend to her best friend and co-captain.

"-but you're really pretty and we do spend a lot of time togeth-" Beca hissed in pain as she felt a sharp sting to her hand. Looking at her poor lump of skin and bones, there was a large bite mark right below her thumb.

"Did you seriously just?" A copper eyebrow raised, challenging Beca to say anything else. With a gulp, she widened her eyes.

"Okay then." She mumbled under her breath, flinching as Chloe just adjusted herself in her spot and didn't take a swing at her. Looking at the other girl, she could see the serious turn in her features, how she was putting on the face she used when she told all the Bellas she had nodes. And it really made Beca feel uneasy.

She was saved by a rustling noise coming from behind the couch, and into the kitchen.

"Awe, you guys started drinking without me?" The booming voice belonged to none other than Amy. God, she owed her one. Standing up – a bit too quickly – Beca staggered over to her blonde friend.

"It was a Bella emergency," She cocked her head over to her co-captain.

"Don't blame Chloe though. We kinda drank your vodka." Amy shook her hands out in front of her, winking once.

"Don't worry short-stack," Her eyebrows wiggled suggestively as she rocked from side to side. Beca sighed through her nose, rolling her eyes. They always teased her about her relationship with Chloe. Just because it kind of teetered on the best friend edge, doesn't mean – doesn't mean she could – she shouldn't be teased so much. It wasn't a big deal. In fact, everyone knew it wasn't a big deal. Except for Fat Amy. She was, determined to say the least, always saying that she wanted 'to get to the bottom of this ship', and something about sailing and being the captain of the boat. It was weird – she was weird.

"Bumper has emergencies sometimes too." With another slow wink, the blonde made her way towards the booze cabinet, and then plopped down on the couch with a fresh bottle of alcohol. As she started to notice the other Bellas file in, she gave them all a simple greeting, before heading up to her and Amy's shared room.

She didn't feel too well, considering she drank way too much, oh and the fact that she spilled everything to Chloe. She felt weirdly vulnerable at the moment, so, she latched on to her duvet as if it would keep her from floating off into oblivion. God that was so emo.

Scrunching her eyes tightly, she began to count to one hundred over and over again until she eventually passed out. A specific blue hue taking over her dreams.

/

She wasn't avoiding Chloe. She swears she wasn't. Ugh fuck, it feels like she is – she definitely is. Why is she doing this, it's completely unnecessary – it's, it's. Fuck.

She was mindlessly toying around with her small midi keyboard, and accidentally yanked the knob off of the side. With an annoyed groan, she tried to stick it back on, with no luck.

"Fan-fucking-tastic, just great – you know what, this is wonderful." A few more sarcastic comments later, she became less annoyed with herself and more just – stressed. What will Chloe say to her when she finally catches her alone? Is she going to treat her like a wild cat and slowly ease into it? Or is she going to attack her full on, as blunt as can be?

With another loud groan, her hand found its way to her scalp, scratching and pulling at her dark locks roughly.

"You okay?" Stopping her movements, she clenched her jaw before shutting her eyes and dropping her head onto her desk. Guess it's kinda hard to avoid someone who sleeps just a few doors away from your own room. Swallowing for a second, she sighed, rubbing one of her palms against her chin.

"Yeah, I'm – Yeah." She knew that wasn't a very good reply, so she cleared her throat. Why was she finding it so hard to talk, God damn it.

"Just stressed." Sitting straight, she swiped her hand under her nose a few times.

"More than usual." She added. The air felt thick, but the other girl didn't seem phased. She didn't seem like she was feeling anything different, really. So maybe she forgot about everything Beca said the night before. But she did look like she wanted to say something, and it probably was exactly what Beca didn't want to talk about.

"So," Inhaling deeply, she faced her friend who was standing near the banister of the stairs, waiting for her to continue. Even if she didn't necessarily want her to – with this specific conversation anyways.

"You wanna actually talk about the break up, now that vodka isn't in that little system of yours?" Being sarcastic in dire situations was a coping mechanism, a sign that she was just – not a functioning adult. Who really was anyways?

"Are you sure about that? Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if I bled alcohol after last night." It was a rough try at sarcasm, but it'd have to do. The smile on Chloe's face was – it made Beca feel like she needed to be more sentimental. But, she didn't actually have the need to be sentimental, she just felt Chloe wanted her to be. And I mean – she gets it. She broke up with Jesse, and the redhead is probably worried for her. Scratch that, she is worried for her. So, she'll have to suck it up and be emotional for Chloe's sake.

She sighed shakily. Easier said than done.

Her hands patted her knees once, rubbing the jean material briefly before motioning for Chloe to sit down at her bed. It's not her, no, Chloe is honestly such a comforting person, and she's genuine. So genuine, it blinds Beca. But, sharing how she feels has always been a hard thing for her – even if it was Chloe. Out of all the people in the world, Chloe is the one who she can actually talk to without wanting to punch someone. It's just a climb up a mountain for them to really get to that point where Beca can be absolutely honest.

She pushed herself in her desk chair so she wheeled closer to her bed that the redhead was currently occupying. Beca gnawed on her lip as she watched the other girl pull her legs up and under herself.

"Where do you wanna start?" The brunette uttered out, clearing her throat afterwards. It was painfully dry, and she would kill to use that as an excuse to go get a glass of water – or maybe something a bit stronger. But she swallowed that idea down a very dry, dry throat.

Chloe hummed before setting her hands in her lap.

"I'm not sure," Her mouth twisted to the side as a thoughtful look cam across her face, her eyes moving to the floor before locking with steel blue ones.

"Maybe back-track to why things ended." Beca's brows furrowed as she remembered what he had said before she all but sprinted out of his room.

"So," Beca was kicking off her shoes as she always did when entering Jesse's dorm room. It was a routine they started soon after she got the internship at Residual Heat. Take off shoes, drop onto bed, watch a shitty romantic comedy, kiss goodbye. It worked for them considering Beca was a very busy person, and Jesse kind of was too.

"How's Chloe?" She frowned at him. He never really asked about her co-captain too often, so the question threw her off for a moment. But it's not like it was completely out of the blue, she HAD just came back from a weekend long trip with the girl.

"Uh, yeah. She's good I guess. She doesn't seem too," Moving her hands in front of her, she tried to phrase the sentence correctly.

"Too first-semester-Aubrey?" He finished for her. Beca snickered, nodding lightly before plopping down beside the boy. She bounced them both a few times from the impact, before inhaling deeply.

"She just seemed really tense about, like, everything. Worlds, leaving the Bellas," She let her words hang, Jesse waving his hand so that she knew he understood.

After a few moments of silence, Beca adjusted her shirt to keep her hands busy. She felt an odd sense of nervousness coming over her, as if she knew something was going to happen in that dorm sooner or later.

"Why?" She found herself asking, in a weirdly vulnerable whisper. She hadn't meant for it to sound so – so weak, but hopefully Jesse would just answer the simple question.

She wasn't expecting the blatant interrogation that came after.

"Yeah he kinda just," A pale slender finger shot up to her mouth, her teeth raking over her nail. A nervous tick she developed as a child, no doubt.

"He thought that he was more of a best friend, and that you," She squinted her eyes, sighing loudly. Why was this so hard? It's not like she hadn't had numerous instances where people thought her and Chloe were a thing. It's happened more often than not. Even Legacy thought they were dating until she was told otherwise. But this was different, so fucking different because it was her boyfriend – ex boyfriend – that called her out on it. On something that wasn't worth calling her out on!

Beca grunted in frustration.

"He thought that you and I weren't – just best friends."