Meet the Edgertons

Warning: Nothing, just boys being boys.

A/N: I'M ALIVEEEEE! While I don't think that my dad would be an extra in the fast and furious franchise, he did do decent (ignoring the fact he almost ran into a car like three times because he was going fast in the highway and these cars also swerve like madmen). I'm back at home and even more tired than every, yayyyyy. This chapter hasn't been betaed yet but I am very impatient so you guys get to see the uncut version (now you'll know how I really write). So all mistakes are my own. Have a nice day!

Ian simply raised an eyebrow at his reaction. "Is it really that surprising, Eppes?"

"Of course it is!" he half-shrieked, waving his arm wildly. "You don't pull this shit out of the blue!"

"I know, that's why I'm asking you now" he replied, leaning against the border on Don's desk, his expression challenging Don to refute him.

"You-" then he cut himself off as he looked to the side, noticing the grins on his team's faces.

"Ooooooh, Mom and Dad are fighting again…" Megan spoke up, grinning widely.

"If they separate, can I go with Dad?" Colby asked, "he's more fun."

"I'll have to stick with Mom, he's less insane," David said, grinning.

"No, we're not fighting, just- wait…I'M THE MOM?!" He shouted, shooting up from his seat. The smiles that grew bigger at his shock just served to answer his question.

"Well…you do nag like one" Megan answered.

"And you worry like one," David continued.

"And you get mad at us like one," Colby grinned.

Don could feel his hand twitch at that. These motherfuckers…He could feel Ian beside him shaking with silent laughter, his face completely smug. "You know what? Megan, David, Colby, you guys continue to sift through those files. I want every single piece of information that you can get on this guy by the time I get back" he ordered, "I want to know everything about him. Where he works, his family, past criminal records, if he puts on both socks before putting on his shoes, everything". Then he turned his head towards Ian, "And you…you're coming with me" he hissed as he grabbed Ian roughly by the arm to drag him away to an empty location so they wouldn't get disturbed. As soon as he started walking, he could hear his team talk.

"See…you made Mom mad and now we're grounded" Megan giggled, trying to keep a straight face and failing.

"At least it's not as bad as what Dad's going to get" David replied, glancing back and forth between them conspiratorially.

"I wonder what Mom's going to do to him…" Colby mused, putting a hand on his chin.

Don couldn't help but shake his head. Whether it was due to amusement or annoyance, he can't really tell yet. Traffic duty, all of them…

"So…am I in trouble too?" Ian asked, smiling slightly as he tilted his head to the side.

"We'll see" he muttered, opting to find a door that leads them to a quiet place in the office.

Ian sighed, "this is what I get for making the wifey angry."

"You call me that in front of everyone, I will kill you" he threatened as they both reached the room Don was looking for. Unfortunately for him, the threat fell flat since Don didn't really have much to threaten him with.

Annoyingly enough, Ian understood that all too well since instead of apologizing, he decided to break out of Don's grip, grab him, and throw him against the nearby wall. Don winced as he felt the force aggravate his injury, but he made no other outward reaction.

He looked up as Ian leaned in, his arm planted solidly beside Don's head, trapping him beneath the taller agent's body. "I'd like to see you try, pretty boy" he whispered, his lips brushing against the shell of Don's ear.

"You make everything so unfair," he half-complained. He's not used to being in a relationship where he doesn't have the upper hand and it's maddening sometimes. Especially with someone who could so easily turn the tides back on him.

"And you distract me so I say it's fair game," Ian murmured, biting his ear gently. The hand that wasn't on the wall snaked its way behind his suit jacket, wandering down with every second that passed. Don shivered under his touch, but decided to push him off before Ian could go further.

"Don't" he warned, looking at the door. "We are not having sex in the FBI building".

Ian's eyes lightened up with a certain mischievous energy that Don grew to be wary of. "Why not?" He asked, tilting his head to the side in a fake ploy to be clueless.

"You know why!" He hissed, slapping Ian on the arm lightly. "Just because you can get away with it, doesn't mean I can."

"When did you become such a killjoy?" Ian muttered underneath his breath, stepping back a bit.

"Ever since I met you and got to know what your version of fun was" Don grumbled, crossing his arms. "Anyways, now that we're here, why don't you start from the beginning" he said, tilting his head to the side.

"Well there isn't much to say" Ian shrugged as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I was talking about the fact that I'm going to visit you again today to my mother and she said "you know you keep talking about him but you never bring him around, when will I get to meet the man who has caught your eye?" and well she somehow managed to talk me into agreeing."

"Wait, you talked about me?"

Ian gave him a look that says that he was being particularly dense. "Of course I do", he said, "I need someone else to know about the dumb shit you manage to stumble into."

He winced and this time, it wasn't from the pain. That doesn't sound good. He hoped that Ian's family didn't take all of these rants to heart or he'd be a goner. "And your mom somehow managed to finesse you into agreeing?" he asked, almost in disbelief. "Looks like you're not as in control as you think you are."

Ian shot him an annoyed look. "Don't be so smug, Eppes" he grumbled, "let's just say that my mother is a difficult woman to say no to."

Don could imagine that. It would probably take an extremely tough woman with even stronger morals to raise someone like Ian and have him not become a serial killer. "So you didn't come out of a lab? Well colour me surprised" he mocked, grinning slightly at Ian's narrowed eyes.

"You really think scientists could make this?" he shot back, "sorry to disappoint Eppes, but I'm unfortunately just a normal guy."

"Really? I could've sworn I saw a formula for your creation somewhere" he mumbled, looking to the side like he was thinking about it. "Oh well, it's probably lost to time, which I think is a good thing". He looked up at Ian and gave him his own mischievous smile, "I don't think the world needs two Ian Edgertons running around."

"Oh I could definitely find some uses for having multiple copies of me around" Ian murmured, sliding a hand up Don's jaw, leaning closer. "Could definitely be a lot of fun". The slight hungry look in Ian's eyes almost made Don rescind his earlier rule of not fucking in the FBI building.

Almost.

Don put his hand on Ian's chest, blocking him from coming nearer. "As fun as it is watching you get all worked up about the thought of you and your clones railing me to whatever surface you deem fit" he said casually, although he couldn't stop the blush from overtaking his face, "I'm going to need you to stop that line of thought before you end up convincing me to break my rule."

Ian rolled his eyes as he stepped back even further, putting his hands up in mock surrender. "Alright, you win this time, Eppes" he said. "I hope you know how much I've compromised for you."

"Oh don't worry, I'm well aware of that" Don replied, fixing himself. "I don't think you'll ever let me forget it."

"You're damn right pretty boy" Ian huffed, crossing his arms.

"Anyways, who's in your family? What do I have to expect?" he asked as looked in the reflection of a nearby mirror, expecting Ian to answer. What he didn't expect was the dead silence between them. "Ian?" he asked as he turned around, feeling a chill climb up his spine at the slightly feral grin on his face. That expression usually meant one of two things. Either Ian was about to drag him off to a nearby closet to fuck, or he's about to do something that would definitely give Don a headache that would last for days on end.

"You know what? I don't think I'm going to tell you" he said, grinning widely.

"WHAT?! What do you mean?!" Don hissed.

"I said what I said" Ian replied, "I won't tell you anything. You're just going to sit back until I pick you up tomorrow night."

Don would have shaken the man if he weren't so stunned. "You're serious."

"Yep" Ian's tone was borderline cheerful which sent warning signs through Don's head. This man is almost never cheerful and when he was, it was usually at the expense of Don and his sanity. Ian ruffled his hair affectionately, "don't worry Eppes. All you have to do here is sit back and look pretty, which is something you already do anyways."

"You are a bastard," he grumbled, "how do I just sit back when I don't even know what to expect?"

"That's the great part, you don't" he said, not helping Don in the slightest. "You can't always be in control of everything and it's about time someone did something about that little quirk of yours."

"You can't say anything about control!" Don protested, "you're even worse than I am."

"But I don't blame myself when things go wrong."

"I-" fuck…Ian got him there. "Is it too late to break up with you?"

"Sorry Eppes" Ian replied, although he didn't sound very apologetic, "but no refunds. You're stuck with me forever" he said as he wrapped an arm around Don's waist.

"You're the worst, you know that?"

"Yeah-yeah" Ian waved off his ire, still smiling maniacally. Don wondered whether or not he'd be thrown in the nearest asylum if he continued to smile like that. Some part of Don kinda hoped that was the case.

Ian glanced at his watch and gave Don a kiss on the cheek. "I'd love to stay but I have some stuff to do and then run some errands for my family."

"Want me to come with you?"

Ian let out a small huff of laughter as he bopped Don on the nose lightly, clearly amused as Don tried to swat away his hand. "You can't fool me. I know you're hoping to deduce something from the errands and knowing you and your skills, you could probably pull it off. Sorry pretty boy but you're not getting the win."

"Fuck…" Don muttered underneath his breath. Damn Ian and his ability to read Don like a book. At least it goes both ways…sometimes.

Ian shook his head fondly at Don's reaction. "Chin up, at least I'll be seeing you tonight."

"You're staying with me?"

Ian nodded, "figured I'd save money on hotels" he shrugged, silently asking if it was okay.

"Sure, just make sure to use the fucking key this time" Don admonished, remembering the times when Ian just decided to break into his apartment unprompted. Ian says that he's testing the building's security and also sharpening his skills, Don thinks that Ian is a big liar who made up that excuse three seconds into the conversation.

"No promises," Ian replied. Then he leaned in and this time, Don accepted the kiss. "See you tonight!" he called out as he walked away, his footsteps as silent as the man himself. As soon as he was out of sight, Don let out a sigh, banging his head against the wall.

"Shit…" Don muttered, rubbing his face. He can't believe this was happening to him. Ian was a slick son of a bitch who knew Don's tricks. There was no way for Don to get the information he needed, not when he knew Ian would be anticipating it. Don glanced over at one of the glass windows that adorned the room, eyeing it immensely.

"Is it too late for me to jump out the window?"

A/N: Bold of you to assume that death would get you out of the situation Donnie. Ian's a persistent son of a bitch and would bring out the ouja board just to drag your ass from beyond the grave to the dinner (and then tie your soul to an object so you can't go back).

And yes, Don's a bit of a mom friend sometimes and everyone will not stop reminding him about it.