Chapter 8

Jordan was moving around the kitchen making dinner when Woody walked in. He leaned his cane up against the island and sat down. He was preparing to go back to active duty. He was relying on the cane less and less, mostly at the end of the day.

"Hi." Jordan smiled at him before turning back to the stove.

"Hey." He said, giving her a slightly hesitant smile.

"What's up?" She asked knowing something was bothering him.

"I have to meet with the shrink tomorrow morning." He rubbed the back of his neck the way he always did when he was uncomfortable.

"Stiles?"

"No, some internal person they're bringing in to do employee evaluations and case work. " He said with a shrug.

"Are you nervous?" She stopped and turned to look at him.

"No, I just hate this kind of thing. It's just a stupid formality."

"We can get lunch tomorrow after, if you want?" She offered.

"Sure, sounds good." He leaned forward to give her a kiss.

The next morning Woody sat in the empty conference room waiting anxiously. In walked a petite blonde.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Lu Simmons."

"Hi, Woody Hoyt." They shook hands. Lu sat down across from him.

"The department wants to make sure you're ready to go back to active duty."

"I am." He said with confidence. "I'm ready to get my life back." He noticed her eyebrow raise slightly.

"Being a cop is very important to you."

"It is." He answered sincerely.

"I'm wondering, what does your father do for a living?"

"He was a sheriff." Woody all but rolled his eyes. "He was shot and killed in the line of duty." He answered the question he knew would come next.

"How old were you?"

"Sixteen." He answered with the same sadness he seemed to always answer that question with.

"Your shooting must have made you think of what he went through."

"Of course, I thought about him. I always do. He died, I didn't. Can we move on?"

Lu just nodded, deciding not to push.

"I'm looking at your records. It seems you've made tremendous physical progress in the last six months." She said looking up from her notepad.

"Yes."

"Can you tell me how you felt after the shooting?

"I was angry … and scared I wasn't going to walk again."

"How did you deal with those feelings?"

"The short answer? Jordan."

"And who is Jordan?"

"She's my girlfriend… I mean fiance." He surprised himself, he wasn't sure why he stumbled over that.

"So that's a recent change?"

"You could say that." He said with a slight chuckle.

Lu raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"It's complicated. " Then he proceeded to tell the abridged version of their story.

"Wow. That's quite a story. Let me ask you something. Do you think your new relationship with Jordan has distracted you from processing what happened to you?"

"What?" He was completely taken aback by the question.

"You went through something traumatic, but by embarking on a new relationship you might be avoiding processing that trauma."

"My relationship with Jordan is not a distraction." He said firmly. "I came really close to going through this without her. I'd be worse off if I had."

Again, Lu chose not to push the subject.

"Okay, let's change topics. How do you feel that Wayne Riggs is still out there somewhere?"

Woody stayed quiet for a minute.

"I try not to dwell on it. He needs to be caught. He's a cop killer. Those officer's families deserve justice."

"What about you?"

"I lived. I just want to get back to work."

"It seems you've worked intently to get back to work and to move forward with your life. The problem with trauma is that it isn't linear. It doesn't go away just because you're ready to move on, you have to process it."

"You're saying I haven't ?

"I'm not saying anything, but do you think you have?"

There was a long pause. They both knew he didn't have an answer.

"Listen,I'm fine with signing off on you returning to active duty on the condition that we keep talking."

Woody just nodded, he didn't have a choice.

Later that day he sat across from Jordan at lunch. He tried not to let it show, but his mind wandered.

Admittedly, his life was full of trauma. He'd dealt with it the best he could, didn't he? Things happen, you move on. What else was there to do? He pushed the doubt out of his mind and smiled at Jordan.