Synopsis: You want to cook Thoma a nice meal to thank him for everything he's done for you. Only things don't quite go to plan . . .

Theme(s): Humor, Fluff.

Relationship: Dating

Word Count: 2808

Enjoy! ;)

Cooking for Thoma

"What are you doing?"

You shuddered at the shrill voice behind you. You tried not to spill anything on the stove as Paimon floated over your shoulder.

"Go away, Paimon! I'm trying to get this right!"

"OHH!" Paimon shrieked, nearly making you jump. "Paimon didn't know you could cook!" She suddenly wrinkled her nose. "It doesn't smell very good. Maybe Paimon didn't know you could cook because . . . you can't cook!"

"Paimon, I swear to the Archons, if I screw this up because of you, I'll serve you for dinner instead."

"HEY!" Paimon stomped her little feet in the air. "We already talked about this! Paimon is NOT emergency food!"

You tutted and tried to focus on your dish. Even without Paimon's . . . interference, you couldn't help admitting, it didn't look the most appetizing. It looked more like a thick slimy brown substance with sloppy chunky bits that didn't look like they belonged in there.

"Bleugh! What is that?" Paimon asked, shuddering.

Your head sunk a little. "It was supposed to be Rice Cake Soup . . ."

"Rice Cake Soup? That's Thoma's favourite!"

"Trust me, I'm fully aware. He loves Rice Cake Soup. He loves big bowls of food in general." You sighed a little dreamily.

"Paimon loves big bowls of food too!"

You snapped out of your dreamy stance and glared at Paimon. "You like eating big bowls of food all by yourself. Thoma doesn't do that. Thoma likes sharing . . ." You deliberately said it slow and soft to try and annoy her. It was pretty amusing when Paimon pouted at you.

"Why are you cooking it anyway? And why without him knowing?"

"Who says he doesn't know?" you muttered.

"You practically kicked him out of the house!" Paimon blinked as the wheels began to turn in her little head. "And then as soon as he was out, you rushed to buy the ingredients . . . And you looked everywhere for alcohol free wine . . . And when we got home, you set up a nice table with flowers and candles. A table for two people, but no Paimon!"

Her face suddenly lit up as she realized: "You're cooking a big fancy dinner for your boyfriend!"

"Shhh!" You blushed furiously. Paimon knew you had been dating Thoma for a while, but that didn't make the teasing any better.

"You are!" Paimon spun around in victory. "You're cooking for Thoma! Nothing gets past Paimon! But why surprise him?"

"Because if I told Thoma I was cooking for him, he'd say don't worry and insist on doing it himself." You sighed. "I wish I could find a way to thank him for all the nice things he's done for me . . ."

"Aww. Don't worry, Y/N!" said Paimon cheerily. "I'm sure you can find other ways."

"I already have," you murmured. "I've tried doing his chores. He ends up doing mine. I've tried dinner dates. He gets me the most expensive food items. I've tried sending him on walks. He comes back with flowers, dango and new clothes for me."

"You saved him from the Raiden Shogun. I'm sure he's more than grateful for that!"

"I saved his Vision. He saved my life." You sighed a little sadly, gazing down at the brown mess in the pot. It didn't look edible at all. And it smelled like rotten charcoal.

"Wow . . . Even Paimon wouldn't eat that."

Like you needed Paimon reminding you about your terrible cooking skills. You sighed sadly again. You had wanted to give Thoma a nice surprise so badly . . .

"What if I were to purchase Rice Cake Soup and disguise it as my own cooking?"

"Huh?" Paimon's jaw dropped. "You wouldn't!"

"Nah, I couldn't do that to him," you chuckled weakly. "Besides, I'm sure he's eaten enough of it to tell what's store bought and what's homemade." You let out a little groan. "I set up flowers and candles! I even got alcohol free wine! You know how hard it is to find that stuff around here? It had to be alcohol free so he wouldn't get drunk!"

"Uhh- who knows?" Paimon squeaked. "Maybe Thoma will eat it. Paimon remembers the time she caught him eating your-"

"PAIMON!" you screamed, blushing furiously. "I WILL ACTUALLY COOK YOU UP AND-"

You shut up at the CLICK of the front door closing. You froze as you heard Thoma's footsteps wandering inside. For a moment, there was silence. And then you heard him approaching the kitchen.

"Shoot!"

You frantically grabbed the large pot and tried to lift it. But it was heavier than you thought it would end up being. It was full to the brim with brown sludge. And of course, the metal handles were too hot to hold for more than two seconds. You shook your hands off with an "ow!" and searched frantically for a towel or an oven glove. You needed to clean up this mess fast before-

"M'love! I'm home!"

You whipped around to face Thoma's beaming smile approaching you. You tried to force a smile, shifting about to try and hide the pot behind you.

"Heeeeey baby," you laughed nervously as he took you in his arms and gave you a peck. "How were the commissions? Sorry I made you do mine . . ."

You felt guilty about it, but it was the only way you could have gotten Thoma out of the house for what you thought would have been enough time to cook up what was supposed to be your delicious feast. Even if he hadn't returned earlier than you thought, you doubted you would have been able to salvage your disastrous dish.

"Aww, it's okay," Thoma smiled. "They really weren't that bad. Just foraging for a few bits and pieces, helped a little boy place some offerings at a shrine. A bit of sparring and the usual Nobushi fight."

Your eyes widened a little. "They didn't hurt you, did they?"

Thoma chuckled at the worried look on your face. "Don't you worry about me, m'love. I'm absolutely fine."

You slid your arms around him even tighter. Deep down you knew these kind of fights were no problem for a talented fighter like him. But you still felt guilty nonetheless . . .

"Say-" Thoma suddenly sniffed, his eyes narrowing. "What's that smell?"

"UM-" You squeezed your arms tighter around your boyfriend and tried to walk around, hoping he would walk with you and end up turning his back on the pot. But his eyes had already locked onto it. Paimon had flown in front of the pot, which was pretty pointless considering how it was bigger than her (though you were thankful she at least tried).

"What is that?" Thoma had escaped from your grasp and was approaching the stove. Paimon yelped and flew away as he picked up a ladle and stirred through the brown lumpy glop. You could see him struggling not to make a face at the sight or the smell. "Were you cooking?"

"I, uh . . . I was experimenting with a new recipe . . . For me and Paimon." It didn't feel like a lie because the dish had been pretty experimental (you'd never cooked Rice Cake Soup before) . . . and you would have let Paimon try some . . .

"That's, uh . . ." He chuckled awkwardly. "You made quite a lot, didn't you?"

"Paimon eats a lot."

"HEY!" You snickered at Paimon's anger. You couldn't help it- sometimes you had to take the odd jab at her.

"Hmm." Thoma suddenly turned around and gave you a playful smile.

"You were trying to make something for me, weren't ya?"

WHAT? You could have screamed. How did he suss you out so quickly? He'd barely been in a minute!

"N- no, I just figured it was, uhh, m- my turn to cook for everyone."

Thoma cocked his head, his smile shifting into more of a teasing smirk. "So the candles, flowers and wine . . . Were they for you and Paimon as well or-?"

"Wh- what candles and . . . flowers . . . and . . ." You felt your face flushing red hot as Thoma started approaching you. You could tell by his smile that he knew he had already figured everything out.

"Come on, Y/N." He slid a teasing arm around you and lightly tickled your shoulder. You squealed and tried to squish his finger between your head and shoulder. He pinched a sensitive spot in your waist instead, making you squeal again.

"Who's the nice meal for?" He kissed your temple and grinned at you with a raised eyebrow. You tried so hard to resist, even when he squeezed your body and pinched your cheek. You were not giving in. Not even to his kisses or cuddles or those adorable lickl' puppy dog eyes he was now giving you. . .

"Y/N was trying to cook for you!"

"Paimon!" you snapped. But Paimon just shrugged it off.

"Paimon doesn't know why you're still trying to hide it. Thoma already knows . . . don't you, Thoma?"

Thoma was absolutely beaming with pride. All you could do was sigh. It was times like this where you really considered throwing Paimon into that cooking pot.

"Alright . . . I wanted to cook something nice for you. As a way to say thank you for everything you've done for me."

"Huh?" Though you avoided eye contact with him, you could sense Thoma glancing down at you. He sounded genuinely confused.

"Like-" Your head sunk a little. "When you do my chores and buy me nice things. Every time you do something kind for me, I feel like I owe you one. So today, I thought I'd cook you dinner. But, uh . . ." A small shy laugh escaped your lips. "It didn't exactly go to plan . . ."

"Awww, Y/N!" Thoma squeezed your up to him and showered you with kisses. "You didn't have to do that for me! You know I love treating you . . . my favourite girl!"

"Thomaaaaaa," you croaked, though deep down, you were only really embarrassed because Paimon was watching. You were actually kind of melting for the praise.

"I mean it," Thoma smiled. "I love caring for you! Actually, I almost feel the same way!"

Feel the same way? You slowly stared up at your boyfriend. "What does that even mean?"

"When you do something nice for me, I feel like I have to do something for you in return!"

You cocked your head. "I made you do my commissions. How is that nice?"

"I mean when you do my chores, take me on dinner dates and let me go for a walk! I feel like I gotta do something to return the favour!"

"Oh?" You straightened a little. You could sense your face going blank as you tried to process the words. Thoma's warm laughter confirmed it for you.

"I . . . didn't know you felt about it that way . . ."

"Of course I do!" Thoma smiled. He squeezed you tighter and planted a kiss on your forehead. "It's not every day I get to leave the house to go on a nice walk or have dinner with you! I have to find a way to repay you! Am I not allowed do that?" he asked teasingly.

So he was basically saying that those little things you did for him were huge for him. The more you thought about it, the more it touched you.

"Thomaaaaaa," you went and leaned in for a kiss, which he happily returned. "I suppose you can pay me back . . . Just maybe a little less? You're gonna empty your wallet one day."

"Ahhh . . ." Thoma shied away from your kiss for a moment. "I may have done that a few times already . . ."

"Fine!" you laughed playfully. "No more dinner dates with you then!"

"Aww noooooo!" Thoma playfully rolled his eyes.

"Does that mean this one's off?" Paimon's shrill voice butted in. "Because Y/N's soup just exploded."

"WHAT?"

Your eyes widened in horror. You and Thoma both rushed over to the stove where the brown stuff was bubbling over the pot and steaming as soon as it landed on the hob. And it smelled even worse than it did five minutes ago.

"Oh my gosh! I forgot to-"

"Hang on, hang on." Thoma simply took the pot by the handles and placed it onto the next hob. You gawked at him as he dusted his hands off and turned off the stove so casually. Did his Pyro vision stop him feeling heat? Or was he that used to cooking? You continued to stare and felt yourself blushing as Thoma stirred through the chunky brown glop.

"It was supposed to be Rice Cake Soup . . ."

"Rice Cake Soup! My favourite!" Thoma's laughter trailed off as he spooned around the stuff. Even his smile couldn't hide his inner disgust. It almost looked like brown lumpy glue. At this point, a Geo Slime would probably be more appetizing.

"It's not salvageable, is it?"

"Ehhh." Thoma hesitated before admitting "I don't think so . . ."

All you could do was laugh it off and mutter "sorry . . ."

"Hey, tell you what." Thoma placed his arm around your shoulder. "Next time you wanna cook something, you can ask me!"

"But I don't want you to cook all the time!"

"What I mean is-" Thoma wrapped his arms around your chest, giving you playful affectionate squeezes. "You tell me what you want to cook and I'll show you how to do it! I'd love to cook with you! You can come to Cooking Tutorials with Thoma and it'll all be for free!"

You burst out laughing at how corny he was being. But you loved it all the same.

"Hey, if it's quality time with you and I get to learn how to cook . . ."

"And can Paimon be the taste tester?"

You rolled your eyes but laughed anyway. "I don't see why not."

"YAY!" Thoma and Paimon both cheered, Thoma scattering delighted little kisses over your head. You let your head drop back on his shoulder so he could peck you on the lips. You loved how he could always find a way to fix everything. All for you . . . If only . . .

You sighed a little. "Sorry I messed up the dinner."

"Nah, it's okay." Thoma planted one last kiss on your forehead. "Really, it's okay. It's the thought that counts, isn't it?"

"But Paimon's still hungry!"

Like that mattered to you. At least Thoma could appreciate the effort. You decided you'd take that over feeding him slop. You released yourself from his arms and raised your hands towards the pot.

"I should throw this out-"

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait! Hold on." Thoma put his hand out, blocking you with his arm. His eyes were fixated on the sloppy substance in the pot. His eyebrows lowered a little. A devilish smile suddenly appeared on his face.

"I've got an idea . . ."

A Few Minutes Later . . .

"For you, m'lord."

"Why thank you, Thoma," Ayato smiled as he took the bowl.

"WE made it for you," you butted in. If this went the way you thought it was gonna go, you weren't letting your boyfriend take all the blame for your mess. You tried not to wince as Atato gave you a thankful nod and went to take his first mouthful.

"Why is Thoma doing this again?" Paimon whispered, keeping a safe distance from the table.

"He wants revenge on Ayato for making him eat his weird concoctions . . ." You bit your lip as Ayato lowered his eyebrows. You saw him fight the urge to gag. But he kept his composure, swallowed bravely and went in for a second mouthful.

"My goodness. Um . . . This is certainly quite different to what you usually give me." Ayato tried to smile it off and took another mouthful. His face dropped. You could have sworn you heard a gurgling sound.

"OH . . ."

"M- M'lord? Are you alright?" asked Thoma, leaning towards him.

"I'm alright Thoma! It's delicious. Really it is . . ." Ayato squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed his stomach. You definitely heard a growling sound.

"Uhh! Okay, hold on! You stay here, and uhh-" Thoma glanced anxiously back at you. "We'll uhh . . ."

Ayato's head crash landed on the table, making him jump. He froze as he landed and stared at you. He didn't dare turn around. Your jaw had dropped at the fallen man behind your boyfriend.

"Thoma . . ."

"Go. GO!"

Before you could react, Thoma had grabbed your hand and was racing out of the house, taking you with him.

"Still don't want a dinner date, m'love?"

"Dinner date it is then!"

As the two of you burst out the door and made a run for the nearest restaurant with your hands interlocked, you glanced back and let out a holler.

"PAIMON! THE WINE!"

"Paimon's got it!" Paimon just managed to pick up the bottle that was the same size as her and flew after you as fast as her little wings could carry her. As you sprinted down Inazuma City, you decided if Thoma somehow managed to keep his job after this, you would really enjoy those cooking lessons . . .

And there you go! Don't worry, Ayato's fine! This isn't the story for that kind of ending XP

But remember, if you'd like something similarly lighthearted or if you'd like to go really dark, feel free to send me suggestions! And be sure to share this story with other Thoma fans, and check out my other story, Feelings of Warmth! Reviews and favs would also be much appreciated!

See you!